#why were there so many subtle digs at jaehyun...

[taeeflwrr]

10/10 loved this emotional rollercoaster

My Words, Your Thoughts

Lee Donghyuck/Haechan X Reader | Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Smut | Soulmate AU, Friends-to-Lovers AU | 36k

Synopsis: As an introvert, you are familiar with the silence. Drowning yourself deep in your thoughts has been a habit you’ve become addicted to. Your life begins to change, however, ever since the day you turned twenty. Suddenly, there’s this song that’s stuck in your head, and no matter how much you yearn to hear your thoughts or be comforted by the silence, it keeps on playing. You only get to find the answer to your problem when a young, cute barista hands you a cup of coffee one day, with that song’s lyrics written on the side. And you realize that you’re not the only one who’s been hearing voices in your head.

Warnings: explicit sex, expletives, mentions of physical abuse and astraphobia (not for the main characters)

It’s weird. It’s so weird.

It’s weird that you’ve been hearing this song replaying over and over again in your head when you’re sure you’ve never listened to it before. It’s also weird because sometimes the song sounds like the ones you often hear about on the radio—complete with instrumental accompaniment and everything—but most of the time, it just sounds like someone is humming to it. Sometimes quietly, but more often than not, vehemently like they’re having a concert in the shower, not caring if the neighbors might hear.

As someone who rarely listens to mainstream music, you don’t keep up with the trend these days but the tunes are catchy enough that you think, maybe, it’s one of those Justin Bieber’s songs people always talk about. You’re not fond of it, though, so even if you’ve heard it somewhere in a cafe or a mall, there’s very little chance you’ll be humming it in your head.

And yet, it keeps on playing.

It gets worse when it goes on for a whole day—a whole fucking day—that your brain feels like it’s seconds away from bursting into pieces. It doesn’t even sound like your voice. It seems like it belongs to a male, a bit light and a pitch higher than most. Though it sounds pleasant, the voice is unfamiliar to your ears and that’s what bothers you the most.

Keep reading

[hyucks-archive]

[14:02]

your phone lights up, the cold, distant contact name 'jaehyun' displayed onscreen as it begins vibrating on the wooden floor, indicating an incoming call. you raise a questioning brow - how unlikely, at such an hour especially.

you take a moment to just stare at the 7-letter name - is this really healthy? is this really what you want? the many late night calls, and sometimes, late night visits, yet once it's daylight, it's like you don't even exist in his eyes. it's funny how the moment you begin to cloud yourself with such thoughts, he always shows up, as though he knows about them.

you take in a breath, hand reaching out as your finger taps on the green answer button. you tap on the loudspeaker option, croaking out a faint, "hello?" you pick up on the subtle pants coming from the other side of the line.

"open the door," he manages, to which your eyes instinctively snap towards the door. for once, you're not running towards it. for once, you're hesitating. should you? should you not? what could he want at this hour?

"y/n?" jaehyun calls, probably still waiting on the other side of the door.

"it's daylight though," you let out, a small gasp following quickly after when you realise a second too late that you were supposed to think that to yourself.

you hear his deep chuckle, accompanied with a sweet, "i know. just open the door."

you get up, taking small steps towards the door. you tell yourself that no matter what it is that jaehyun is here for, you cannot and should not overreact. pulling the door open, you're greeted by his dimply smile, as he raises his hand to draw your attention towards it.

"these were trending on tiktok," he says, referring to the bag of food in his hand. "i thought we could try it together."

there it is. you told yourself you wouldn't allow yourself to, and yet, over such a small gesture, your heart is busy doing somersaults once again. he confuses you. he does these things that are so painfully obviously things only couples do, yet not once has he ever talked about his feelings towards you. granted, you've never talked about your feelings towards him either, but you're scared. you're scared that you're going to lose him if you did.

"why?" you find yourself asking before you could even think it through.

jaehyun glances at you briefly, places the bag down on the dining table, then turns away to wash his hands. "because i wanted to. when i saw it, i just thought of you."

the palpitations are only getting quicker. you want to ask, you really do, but you just can't seem to find even an ounce of courage in you.

you reply with a meek, "oh," as you slide into one of the chairs. you close your eyes. don't you deserve to know?

jaehyun joins you, removing the boxes of food from the bags and placing them on the table. the rustling of the bags stop abruptly, indicating the unexpectedness of what had come out of your mouth.

"i want something more."

four simple words. four simple, meaningless words. yet, four simple words that will potentially remove jaehyun from your life entirely. you pick at your fingers, shutting your eyes tight. you absolutely do not have it in you to face him eye-to-eye right now.

instead of a verbal reaction, you feel a soft touch to your chin, gently leading your head into a slight upward tilt. jaehyun leans in, placing a soft peck to your cheek. your heart stops. casual skinship, in the form of hugs or hand holding, you were used to. but this? this is new.

you finally open your eyes, only to see him settling in to the seat opposite you. he has on his signature dimply smile, clearly excited to dig in. your excitement from seconds ago dies down - what the heck was the cheek kiss supposed to mean?

"jaehyun, wha-"

"i didn't know i had to make it official," he states, downing a mouthful of chicken, sending you a loving gaze.

"so... you're my boyfriend?" you almost-whisper, doubtful of your hearing and comprehending abilities. you feel a sense of relieve warming your body.

"you've been my girlfriend for a while now," he replies nonchantly, taking a sip of his coke.

[sm-entertain-me]

Attention Grabber (M)

Requested by @jaeismyfavfood:  Hey Can I request Jaehyun smut? Where he was so busy and not paying attention to you and you try to seduce him. Thanks 😍

Contains: Jung Jaehyun/Yoonoh x (f) reader, adult language, smut, sexual themes, teasing, strip tease, fingering, multiple orgasms, squirting.

Synopsis: Jaehyun has been ignoring your advances all day, choosing to talk to the guys instead of you... But you’ll be damned if you’re going to let that slide any longer.

There he was, sitting comfortably on the couch as the silenced volume of the TV played in the background. Jaehyun’s face was completely focused on the phone in his hand as he constantly swiped up on his phone, his face forming a smile whenever he read the text messages that blew up his phone. He was getting a kick out of reading the jokes from the group chat, responding with his own witty responses to see how many of the guys would approve. To this very moment, you couldn’t figure out why this is what he chose to do on his day off. 

Jaehyun was supposed to be ignoring anything that had to do with being an idol, but here he was sitting on his phone and constantly messaging the guys about stupid stuff they could’ve talked about at practice. Maybe you were being a little jealous and somewhat selfish for criticizing your boyfriend so much with your thoughts, but would it kill him to give you some attention every once in a while?

But alas, Jaehyun didn’t even bother to look in your direction whenever you cried out for him from the kitchen, asking him to help with the dinner he requested. It was honestly getting on your last nerve coming second to Mark’s jokes and Doyoung’s ramblings. You were determined to make Jaehyun pay attention to you whenever you begged it of him, it was only a matter of finding out what tactic would work for your dense boyfriend to get the idea through his thick skull. Don’t get me wrong, you absolutely adore Jaehyun with all your heart and you know he loves you too, but sometimes you question his ability to pick up on the simplest of social cues such as body language or tone of voice. So you’ll just have to rely on something that usually always gets his attention: sex.

After you got to a stopping point with dinner, ultimately putting everything in the fridge until you were fully prepared on finishing the meal, you decided to stalk your way into the living area. You made sure to walk with a certain sway of your hips that would cause Jaehyun to become intrigued, but not so much that he would question why you were trying so hard.

Once you saw Jaehyun still sitting comfortably in the position he was in, you decided to call out his name with a sultry tone, “Jaehyunnie~” There was no response until Jaehyun saw your hands slide to the bottom of your shirt, his eyes peeling away from the bright screen of his phone and looking up at you with curiosity, making sure to let his eyes flicker to the fingertips that slid into the hem of your shirt. You smirked to yourself as you knew you had gotten some of his attention, continuing in the removal of your shirt at a painstaking pace that had Jaehyun shifting in his seat.

Jaehyun’s eyes would never leave your body as the shirt fell to the floor, revealing your supple breasts encased in the flimsy material of your laced bra, his tongue sliding out of his mouth to coat his lips. He opened his mouth like he was about to say something but you quickly silenced him with the pinching of your pert nipples peeking through the material, pulling them hard enough to evoke a sensual moan that was trapped in your throat. With your eyes still hooded from the pleasure pulsing through your breasts, you managed to catch the subtle bobbing of Jaehyun’s Adam’s apple, indicating he was enjoying the show you were putting on for him.

When you knew you had his full attention, you walked slowly over to your target with nothing but lust on the brain, stepping in between his legs and reaching down to grab at each of them harshly. “Funny,” you commented as you cocked your head to the side, taking your lip in between your teeth as you studied Jaehyun’s facial features in all their glory. “You finally pay attention to me when I’m half naked in front of you.” 

A small look of regret washed over Jaehyun’s face as he watched you turn around, his hands wanting to reach out and grab you by the waist so he could sit you on his lap and have you fix the problem you caused, but you were too far out of his reach. You were already busy walking away from him, smirk deeply set on your face as you bent down and grabbed the discarded shirt from minutes earlier. Even though the idea of Jaehyun touching your body all over as he would run his tongue along your bare stomach made you clench, this would be payback for him ignoring him all day. But of course, it wasn’t that easy for you. It never seems to be when dealing with someone like Jaehyun.

As soon as you walked into your shared bedroom in hopes of changing into pajamas, you felt a strong pair of arms wrap around your waist and force you in the direction of your bed. “Jae,” You scolded, trying to stop him from dragging you to the bed by slamming your heels into the carpeted floor below. Jaehyun simply rolled his eyes at you and lifted you off of the ground, walking you over to the bed with you pressed tightly against his torso and throwing you lightly on the bed. 

“You think you can get me all riled up like that and not have your brains fucked out? You know that’s not how that works baby,” Jaehyun teased as he remained at the edge of the bed, slipping out of his tee shirt and making sure to look into your eyes as his hand gripped the shape of his cock through his pants. You couldn’t help but lick your lips as Jaehyun’s arm veins popped out by how hard he palmed his erection, applying much needed pressure for him to grow within his pants. 

“Fuck,” You breathed out as you watched Jaehyun continue to palm himself, a smirk resting on his face as he knew he was completely destroying you. Jaehyun knew all the ways to get you all hot and bothered, much like you know his. All he had to do was flex his arms and put his veins on display, or simply will his cock to grow and bulge out at you through his pants and you were all his for the taking. 

“What is it Y/N? Now you want my cock in you after you tried to blue ball me in the living room?” Jaehyun questioned as he rounded the bed to the side you were on, his eyes staring deep into yours to get a sense for just how wrecked you were becoming before he even laid a hand on you. You nodded desperately at his question, feeling your mouth beginning to water the longer you stared at the outline of Jaehyun’s cock underneath his hand. 

All Jaehyun could do was chuckle at you as he quickly stepped out of his pants and climbed onto the bed with you, settling himself in between your thighs as he molded his lips to yours perfectly. While he nipped and licked at your tender lips, Jaehyun’s fingers began to caress your abdomen before his nimble fingers made it past the beltline of your jeans. You immediately sucked in air as you felt Jaehyun’s cold fingers sneak past your panties and latched onto your engorged clit, Jaehyun detaching his lips from yours to comment on the amount of arousal that coated his digits.

“Already so wet,” Jaehyun said with a slight chuckle as his fingers swiped up and down your slit, collecting as much of your arousal as he could before smearing it across your clit. His words made your thighs quake slightly, moaning out from how filthy he made you feel. when Jaehyun heard your moans, he was determined to hear more as he pushed his fingers knuckle deep inside of you, curling up against the soft but ever so tight walls of your dripping pussy. 

“Jae, you’re going to wreck me,” You whispered breathlessly as Jaehyun’s lips found your neck, sucking harshly to leave nothing but reds and purple blossoms while his fingers worked you open. Jaehyun’s lips formed a crooked smile as he continued to fuck his fingers into you, rubbing against the spot that had your eyes shooting open and your lips forming a tight line to stop an embarrassing moan that Jaehyun forced out of you anyway. No matter how loud or embarrassing your moans could get, Jaehyun wanted to hear them all. And that’s why he’s fingering you so hard and deep.

Jaehyun’s lips continued to morph your neck into painful shades of reds, compensating for each blossom with a tender kiss to subside the pain. His fingers were particularly relentless as his thumb found your swollen bud and began to trace sinful shapes into it, causing you to reach out and dig your fingers into Jaehyun’s arms. Oh god, he was determined to have you breakdown with just his fingers, pushing so deep inside of your steadily clenching walls only to pull them out and start the process over again.

“Come on baby, let me hear you moan for me. I want to know how hard I can make you cum with just my fingers,” Jaehyun demanded as his teeth clamped down on the soft flesh of your earlobe, goosebumps forming all over your slightly sweaty skin. Seconds later, Jaehyun slipped a third finger into you that had you arching off of the bed and moaning shamelessly to the ceiling, silently cursing. Little did you know that the addition of his third finger would have you cumming so hard on his fingers that you couldn’t hold back your arousal that flooded all over Jaehyun’s hand.

“Oh fuck baby, you soaked my hand. I want more from you,” Jaehyun growled as he pinned your hip down with his free hand no matter how much you squirmed underneath him, his eyes transfixed on your soaking wet pussy. His fingers remained curled deep inside of you as he repeated the same motions, waiting for your juices to flow out again. It didn’t take long for a second orgasm to flood over you, you digging your nails into Jaehyun’s muscular forearm while he watched you make a mess on the sheets underneath you. He was enamored with getting you to cum so hard that he had you squirting all over him.

When Jaehyun was satisfied by the amount of wetness that flowed onto the sheets and his hand, he slowly pulled out of you, feeling your walls clench one more time around his talented fingers. “You did so well for me, baby,” Jaehyun complimented as he leaned down and placed a kiss onto your swollen lips, but then went right to grabbing your hips and flipping you on your stomach, angling you to have your ass on full display for him. “But I’m not done with you yet. You wanted my attention, now you’ve got it. All. fucking. night.”

[solecize]

.  .  .  𝑩𝑨𝑳����𝑵𝑪𝑬 𝑶𝑭 𝑼𝑺  (EPILOGUE) |

— — sometimes it’s the right person and the wrong time and place. you always thought that fate had more in store for you and jung jaehyun, but the college basketball player who once broke your heart and pieced it back together went missing for years on end after the crash of your relationship. now, you’ve put everything in the hands of fate.

note: not proofread of course this is probably shit bc its 4am also literally who the fuck asked for this to be so long lmao well, here it is. i originally wasn’t going to post this because i was satisfied with part twenty but clearly i wasn’t bc i added all of this lol and also everyone keeps asking for it 

MAY 27TH, 2022. 7:07 PM KST.

there was nothing you hated more than love songs.

they were lame, cheesy, and reminded you of your failed love life. however, since sooyoung never came to visit seoul, she insisted that she had full control of your apartment’s speakers for her short stay here. in fact, sooyoung made herself quite at home. johnny insisted that he would sleep on the couch and that she should take his bedroom, while she proceeded to redecorate yours. that included your closet.

“good lord, is this from high school? why don’t you own anything other than a variant of the same three colours? is this MINE?” sooyoung flung clothes left and right as she rummaged through your wardrobe. in the background, old ed sheeran slow dance-type songs was on full blast, leaving you in a puddle of irritation on your bed.

you snapped your head up to see sooyoung holding a red mini skirt that you vaguely remembered shoving beneath your workout clothes because you weren’t sure where to put it. “i dunno, probably.” you gave a half shrug.

she rolled her eyes and flung it into the pile that she’d been working on. “you have absolutely no formal clothing here. are you just going to show up to doyoung’s wedding in this stripper dress?” your friend of many, many years grumbled. “listen, i know it’s been a while since you’ve gotten laid, but. . .”

“ew, stop it.”

“am i wrong?” sooyoung cocked an eyebrow. “ever since you broke up with jaehyun, as far as i know and as far as lucas and i have gossiped, you have barely kept a relationship since.” 

the mention of your ex boyfriend left you having no choice but to hurl one of your throw pillows at sooyoung, aiming for her head, but she effectively ducked down in time. although it’d been quite some time since the split, you still weren’t comfortable talking about jaehyun. you’d casually dated here and there, but nothing really lasted longer than a month. you blamed it on school and dance and work, which were all genuinely busy for you, but it didn’t seem right.

you said, “god. don’t say it like that, it’s pathetic!” plain embarrassing, really. “it’s been, like, three years.”

that didn’t mean that the thoughts of jaehyun didn’t plague your mind from time to time. he’d sometimes creep up with your thoughts at night, keeping you tossing and turning for hours. you always figured that it was what life intended to happen, despite the fact that you were the one who voluntarily ended it.

after becoming an official couple during your freshman year, the two of you had a wonderful time together. however, it didn’t take long for reality to sink in when jaehyun’s graduation date was fast approaching. generally, it wasn’t supposed to be a problem, but then he revealed something to you that he himself admitted that he should’ve told you about far sooner. law school. you always figured that jaehyun would want to continue studying in seoul, where his family was and where his feet seemed to be permanently set. that was the beginning of the end and down came crashing the supposed plans that the two of you were supposed to have.

before meeting you, jaehyun planned to move back to america and attend law school there. he revealed that he never told you about it because he decided that he would stay in korea for you. obviously, you weren’t going to have any of that. it was his dream—and a hell of a hard dream to get into, you did your research—and there was no way in hell that you were going to let him give it up for you. 

“i’ll always need you” was what he told you before he left. it was never supposed to be the end and you thought that three years was nothing. looking back, it was definitely naive to assume that the sudden change of jaehyun’s position from across the city district to across the world wasn’t going to affect you.

you remembered the first signs of the relationship’s downfall. they were subtle and you couldn’t have possibly noticed them back them, however in retrospect, you truly should have. postponed upon postponed skype sessions, forgetting important dates, and of course, the arguments.  immaturity made the fights worse, a trait evident in him considering the nature of the bet, but you decided that he was bettering himself. you and jaehyun were fairly young and possessed equally destructive tempers. 

at the end of everything, after the summer of your life and the pitfalls that came with the autumn semester, you and jaehyun called it quits on valentine’s day. it was his birthday and a holiday of love, but the feeling was mutual. there was still love between the two of you, but it was decided that life had a different plan. sometimes, it was the right person, but the wrong time and place. from that point on, you lived life the way it was meant to be. 

the sound of the front door opening brought you back to reality. you hadn’t noticed, too busy reminiscing about your past, but sooyoung was delivering a tirade about your love life. there were bits and pieces that you caught onto, including how you “never put yourself first anymore” and how “ballet wasn’t going to put a ring on your finger,” but you chose to mute her out. thankfully, she stopped when she, too, heard the front door open. 

“johnny?” she called out, as she turned her music down from her phone.

a muffle acknowledgement could be heard and not even seconds later, johnny appeared at your bedroom doorway. he wore a sleek maroon suit and a matching tie, an outfit that was probably worth more than quadruple your rent. these days, johnny looked exhausted at home, yet still managed to find ways to mask his humanity while he was at work.

despite the fact that you lived with him in an average two bedroom apartment, he was still john seo, heir to some big shot insurance company and son to one of korea’s most renowned chefs. it was easy to forget, as you always saw him as just another brainless jock in college. things changed after johnny was left high and dry when sicheng left to further his modelling career, doyoung went to teachers’ college, and jaehyun disappeared to the other side of the world. the latter was what truly brought the two of you together.

for quite some time, you continued to hold a grudge against johnny for the idiotic bet that he commenced. it took some effort, but after deciding to get to know jaehyun all over again, you realized that you might as well show johnny the same kindness. you did so, and discovered that johnny was still the same goofy person that you thought you knew. he’d definitely grown a greater appreciation for you after you helped him with his injury that fateful night. sure, he was a little bit immature at times, but you saw that the end of his college career was what forced him to grow up. it was like reality had finally sunk in when all of his friends left and he had no choice but to uphold the promise he made to his father as a teenager and work for the family company. usually, he would have turned to jaehyun for comfort and hurt from the absence of his best friend. at the same time, you also felt the same way after he left and inevitably, the two of you turned to each other and thus, blossomed a deeper friendship with the man, more than you’d ever expected.

“i still can’t believe you willingly choose to live in this apartment with y/n instead of a big house like you can probably afford,” sooyoung said out of nowhere, eyeing his appearance.

you retorted, “there’s no fun in that.” it was true, johnny could probably move out at any second he wanted to. since sooyoung moved to france, the arrangement came naturally. he moved into the apartment that once belonged to lucas and sooyoung, then you and sooyoung, after lucas moved closer to campus. eventually it was just you, who could not pay the rent as one person, alone. two years later, the system was still in tact and johnny told you that he was never in a rush to move out, as he always thought it would feel lonely to live alone. 

you’d effectively had enough of sooyoung’s attempt at being a personal stylist and got up yourself, making your way to scour your closet for an outfit.

“don’t tell me you’re looking for something to wear to the wedding. there’s literally two days left.” johnny grimaced, looking around the room, where the floor could barely be seen due to scattered articles of clothing. “dude, you’ve had so many months to find a dress.”

sooyoung poked his chest. “not everybody owns two hundred different suits, jonathan.”

it wasn’t as much of a travesty as sooyoung made it out to be, but your closet did look pretty bad. there wasn’t exactly a myriad of options that screamed wedding, except for one or two dresses that you pictured better in your mind when you thought of options that you already owned. this was going to be a pain in the ass.

“can this wait, though?” johnny glanced past your head, at the clock on the wall above your dresser. “i’m going to go pick up sicheng at the airport. i’m assuming you want to come?”

you gasped dramatically. “my wedding date is here, of course i’m coming!” a grin stretched across your face.”

all of your friends were tragically single, even the rich and famous ones like sicheng and johnny. doyoung made a remark about how none of you were probably going to find a date to the wedding. with everyone digging deep into their inner smartass, you all paired up as dates for the elementary school teacher’s wedding. it was you and sicheng and johnny and sooyoung, while lucas insisted that he was going to be objecting to the marriage during the ceremony so that he could have doyoung to himself. 

at the end of the day, you were just happy to have all of your friends in one place at once.

DECEMBER 24TH, 2019. 10:49 PM KST.

distracted by the glimmering lights of christmas, you failed to do anything about jaehyun’s standoffish behaviour. since the holiday season kicked into full swing weeks ago, you were preoccupied with juggling the christmas ballet show, buying presents for your friends, and of course, school. now, you found yourself in the middle of johnny’s family’s penthouse in gangnam, sipping on a candy cane cocktail.

“what do you mean, you’re thinking about dropping out?” your mouth formed an ‘o’ shape, as sooyoung announced the news to your group of friends. your reaction wasn’t the worse one, however, as lucas literally choked on the gingerbread man he was eating.

beside you, doyoung patted lucas’ back, trying to get him to recover. “for good?” he eyed the female.

she shrugged carelessly. “yeah. i don’t think this is for me.”

“but, you only have a year left,” said sicheng, who seemed to appear out of nowhere. you even jumped at his voice, as you thought you last saw him across the living room talking to some fancy businessmen with johnny and jaehyun.

you surveyed that side of the room, where you saw johnny still in place. ever since graduation, he was thrown right into the world of his father’s insurance company. it surprised you just how robotic he could become in front of important people, as impressive as it was, yet was able to continue be as goofy as ever with you and your friends. it was a little disappointing to see that his own christmas party was full of business, even though sicheng and jaehyun flew out back for this short amount of time. jaehyun. swiftly, you noticed that he was also missing.

tapping sicheng’s arm, you inquired, “do you know where jaehyun went?” 

it wasn’t hard to recognize his change in attitude since landing in korea. you figured it might have had something to do with the fight that the two of you had right before he left, one not about anything particularly specific, but a build up of several issues arising over the months. nonetheless, after a while, the two of you seemed to settle the conflict mutually without actually  saying anything out loud.

the two of you fought so often because of your circumstances, but forgave just as easily because you loved each other too much to let things affect you. in the long run, it wasn’t going to be healthy. the two opposing ends were simply not meant to be cancelled out.

“hm? oh, i think he went out on the balcony, the one in johnny’s room.”

sooyoung was still busy explaining her sudden desire to travel the world and while you were very concerned with your friend’s spontaneity (and also the fact that if she dropped out, you would be roommate-less, as lucas moved out), you got up from your position on the couch. weaving through the crowd was easy enough and you strolled down the narrow hallway that johnny showed you earlier, where the bedrooms were located. you picked his out easily and knocked first, to no answer. as a result, you decided to just open it up.

the entire room was dim and you could barely see anything at all, despite the little light streaming in through the blinds. beyond was johnny’s balcony, illuminated by the sights of seoul and the luminosity of the skyscrapers along the city’s skyline. you could barely make out a figure leaning against the railing. 

it was jaehyun’s red jordans that gave him away. he flew in from pennsylvania without bringing any dress shoes and it was either these basketball shoes that he gave you before leaving—of course he gave you those—or the ugly vans that he’d been wearing during the whole trip back. you knew his broad shoulders and the way he always balanced his weight on his right leg and bent his left.

you approached slowly, but he somehow managed to hear you and took a glimpse over his shoulder. he smiled softly when he saw you and slid the balcony door open.

“hey,” he said, voice quieter than usual. “i thought you’d be enjoying the party.” jaehyun wrapped one arm around your shoulders.

“you’ve barely been around, jae.” you frowned. although the two of you arrived together, he always seemed to be off to the side alone, even with the few times johnny roped him into conversation with other people. “are you tired or something? we can go home if you want.”

at that, he only shrugged. “it’s whatever.”

you studied his expression intently, possibly for answers as to why he was acting so off. it was all the jaehyun had been doing lately, shrugging everything off and acting sluggishly. it was like someone who didn’t want to be here. this was the first time you’d finally taken notice of it.

he saw the way you were looking at him and leaned in to press a kiss against your forehead, as if to reassure you, but it felt empty. there was something floating in the air that didn’t want to be said, something that didn’t want to be touched. however, the two of you continued on with smiles and left for the party once again.

MAY 28TH, 2022. 2:11 PM KST.

jaehyun hated thinking about you and the way things ended with your relationship. you’d always told him that everything happened for a reason and the end of the two of you had one as well. he just always thought that there could’ve and should’ve been something done to prevent it. of course, jaehyun placed a lot of the guilt on himself and it took a while for him to realize that some things just aren’t meant to be. 

the male rarely came home anymore. in the past three years, other than the first christmas, he only flew over for his mother’s birthday, as well as his sister’s, both of which were conveniently during the same week. he spent the holidays alone, albeit with some of his newfound friends in america. meanwhile, his old ones rarely heard from him. jaehyun chatted scarcely with his former teammates here and there, mostly talking to johnny the most because of the latter’s persistence. hell, it took doyoung weeks to get ahold of jaehyun so that he could extend the invitation to his wedding. it was a big deal when jaehyun hopped on a plane back to seoul and that was precisely why he did not tell anybody other than doyoung and johnny.

home reminded him of you. his family moved away from seoul to a quieter town years ago and while seoul was his home territory, it was always going to be a city that belonged to the two of you. even just getting off the plane and taking a look around the airport, jaehyun remembered the exact spot that he said goodbye to you. it had been three years, but after supressing the emotions and memories for years, it all came flooding back to him. he tried to shove those feeling away yet again when he caught sight of a familiar friend at the arrivals gate.

“JAEHYUN!” doyoung had never hugged jaehyun so hard in his entire life before, the newly arrived male could literally feel the breath getting squeezed out of him.

seeing doyoung again was like reuniting with a brother. “holy fuck, it’s been way too long.” he gasped for air when he was finally released.

“did you get buffer, what the hell?”

“uh, are you about to get hitched, what the hell?” 

the only other thing that jaehyun could’ve asked for was the presence of their other friends. from what doyoung told him, johnny picked sicheng up from the airport the day prior, sooyoung flew in at the beginning of the week, and y/n wrestled lucas out of his apartment to go last minute shopping today. doyoung probably noticed the way jaehyun shifted uncomfortably at the mention of his ex girlfriend’s name, but didn’t say anything.

“i’m sorry i couldn’t have come earlier,” jaehyun said, i really wanted to come to the bachelor’s party, but i had my graduation ceremony earlier this week.” both men grinned, hearing about the bachelor’s party. of course, all the crazy shit that went down was relayed to jaehyun, including how lucas gave doyoung a lap dance, jungwoo broke an entire television, how johnny and taeil pushed doyoung into a pool full of hired dancers—everything. 

doyoung shrugged it off. “don’t worry about it, but hey! congrats! you did it, you’re basically a real lawyer now.” he nudged his friend playfully. “you’re going to be living comfortably there in america with that law degree under your belt.”

a lack of response came from jaehyun’s end, as the two men made their way to the pick up section, where doyoung’s fiancee was waiting for them in the car. jaehyun figured that his late arrival would just add to the element of surprise. they talked about wedding preparations, work, and more. 

they stepped outside, through the automatic sliding doors and the seoul sun hit jaehyun’s face without hesitation. he took a deep breath—this was home and he was finally here. for the most part, at least, this was home. now, he needed to find the missing part of it.

MAY 29TH, 2022. 9:20 PM KST.

the universe felt like everything in balance for the first time in forever. the spring of your first year of college was one that was for the history books and relieving that with all of your old friends around you made you feel nothing less than content. the ending notes of an usher song faded into another one, as you and your friends took your second round of shots at the bar.

“i’m so ready to get fucked up tonight!” lucas whooped and it made you happy; you had not seen him, for a lack of better words, so wild and free in a long time.

the volume of his yell and the proximity to taeyong’s ear caused your brother to wince harshly at the assault. you giggled at that, patting his arm with sympathy. similar to lucas, taeyong rarely found time to myself and to have fun. you thought it was nice of doyoung to also invite him, considering they spent four years of their lives swearing on each others’ names, even though they never actually knew each other. he also seemed to serve as lucas’ last minute date when he realized that it was probably best that he shouldn’t object to the marriage during the ceremony. (he still muttered it under his breath, though)

there were no other words to describe the reception other than ravishing, breathtaking, or simply just beautiful. the surrounding area was full of lush gardens and trees that had absolutely no business being in the middle of bustling seoul. twinkly lights hung from pole to pole, as the sounds of laughter and music filled your ears.

with that, lucas was dragged away by sooyoung to the middle of the dancefloor and doyoung left to attend to his new wife. this left you with taeyong and sicheng. it was an hour or so into the reception and you were not nearly as drunk as you wanted to be after an exhausting day, so you ordered a cocktail for yourself. 

looking briefly back at the pair after ordering, you noticed them having an oddly intense conversation. taeyong was making some peculiar hand gestures and it seemed like sicheng was agreeing profusely. you couldn’t be too sure over the blaring music.

“what’s going on?”

for whatever reason, it was as if they forgot that you were present and jumped. you caught taeyong eyeing something behind you, but before you could look, sicheng cut in.

“listen, y/n. i think you need to take a deep breath,” he suggested and that only made your suspicion grow even more.

abruptly, taeyong swore. you furrowed your eyebrows at that and turned your head. even lucas and sooyoung stopped dancing. you couldn’t make it out at first, but when you did, it was as if you saw a ghost.

clad in an all black suit without a tie and unsurprisingly, red jordans, was jung jaehyun. his hair was a natural black for the first time in the amount of time that you knew him. he had one hand shoved into his pocket. he made your stomach do backflips and tumbles and light your chest on fire. oxygen left your throat and you blinked the dizziness away. 

“that isn’t. .  .”

you always wondered what it would be like if you ever encountered jaehyun again, whether it would be in five years down the line, maybe ten, maybe even more. would it be in korea? an accident? an event like this? you didn’t expect jaehyun to show up in all honesty, as doyoung remarked dismissively that he hadn’t heard from jaehyun since you had. you wanted to say that you forgot he existed, which you admittedly did at times. however, since the arrival of all of your old friends, the memories began coming back to you. 

now, it was jaehyun who came back to you.

you were too focused on him to notice the female linking arms with him. you noticed her before, she was one of doyoung’s wife’s bridesmaids. she was pretty, probably around your age, but you weren’t sure exactly who she was. 

before you could jump to conclusions, she broke free of jaehyun’s arm and started making a beeline in your direction. your heart nearly stopped at this point, what the hell was happening? meanwhile, jaehyun was too busy being tackled with hugs by lucas and doyoung, with sicheng following suit. the woman stopped in front of you and taeyong, though her entire focus was set on him.

“hi, jinah.” taeyong said simply at the woman and you attempted to search every nook and cranny of your memory for that name.

she smiled warmly and the two of them sparked a conversation amongst themselves.

confused, you decided to slowly back out, grab your drink, and maybe take a breather elsewhere. there were paths that you took notice of earlier, ones that led deeper into the gorgeous gardens, and you figured that now was a better time than any to tour the area, even if you were alone. there was just no way you could face jung jaehyun now.

then, the starting piano notes to a hauntingly familiar song began to play. your lips parted in shock and you wondered if you were hearing correctly, this song that you left in your past. closing your eyes, you took in the first few lyrics of the song and realized that this was reality.

the dancefloor around jaehyun began to part for couples to take the spotlight, as everyone began to pair up.  he nearly tripped over his own two feet, having not heard the song in years. 

“by the way, she’s by the bar. i know you’re looking for her,” johnny said casually, taking a sip of his beer. 

jaehyun didn’t want to admit out loud that he was ‘looking for you,’ but you were definitely something that had been on his mind. he sat in the back during the ceremony, laying low with johnny, but he remembered what had happened to him when he saw you for the first time in three years. it was like everything fell apart and he forgot how to function. despite being apart for so long, you still managed to have that effect on him.

however, he didn’t go to you. he let the song that played during all of your late night roadtrips play without asking you for a dance. it wasn’t right and it was no longer his place.

MAY 29TH, 2022. 10:42 PM KST.

everyone had been pushing you all night to go and just fucking talk to jaehyun. you felt like a high school student who didn’t have the guts to confess to their crush, it was idiotic. thankfully, you’d yet to physically run into each other, mostly due to the fact that you were rotating between hiding behind sicheng and taeyong. mostly sicheng, due to the fact that taeyong was busy catching up with his own ex lover. how could he have the guts, but you didn’t?

you escaped for the nth time that night, trailing into the parking lot. after hours on heels, you eventually gave up on them and removed the shoes, opting to walk around barefoot. to the outsider, you probably looked crazy, walking back and forth without shoes on and muttering things to yourself.

“hi, jaehyun. how are you—how have you been? been?”

the clock was ticking fast. you needed to find a way to build up the courage and stop hiding from him and at least attempt to have a civil conversation. you weren’t even sure what you were afraid of in the first place (yes, you did.) were you scared that he wouldn’t want to talk to you? forget who you were? 

no, you were afraid that you would get sucked into those big, brown eyes and those dimples again. you afraid that you were going to lose yourself in his velvety smooth voice and his wits. you were afraid that you would fall for him again.

“i’ve been fine, thank you.”

this time, you legitimately fell, not for jaehyun, but because of him. he was standing right behind you and not for a second did you suspect any footsteps coming your way. for that, you toppled over and your body folded into one in pure shock. luckily, he was there to catch you before you fully fell down and steadied your body.

jaehyun widened his eyes. “shit, are you okay?”

“mmph. just tipsy.” you couldn’t even feel embarrassed, too engrossed in the feeling of pain from scraping your knee. 

his arms still remained around you even after you were back on two feet. jaehyun’s eyes trailed over your body, noticing that there was a slight dirt stain on your dress after tripping. he realized what he was doing and that it probably looked like he was checking you out, so he let go immediately.

you raised an eyebrow. “why are you here?”

“this is my sister’s car that you’re pacing in front of—i was just going to grab my phone charger.” 

“i think i need a break from here.” despite the fact that you’d been practicing for an hour to talk to jaehyun, words fell out of your mouth without any second thought. it was all natural and you spoke to him like no time had passed since the last time you saw him all those years ago.

jaehyun paused, seemingly lost in his thoughts for a few moments. he looked back at the party, then back to you. you noted that he was debating about something in his head, without a doubt.

he suggested, “so, let’s go for a drive, then?” the statement caught you off guard, as you watched jaehyun unlocked the car doors. “like old times. it always made you feel better.”

there was no denying that. you weren’t sure what you expected for this reencounter with jaehyun. despite constantly imagining it, this wasn’t exactly the way you thought it was going to go. 

“have you been drinking?” you asked, not wanting to risk anything.

jaehyun smiled. “no. i drove jinah here and i’ll be taking her back.” 

you looked back the party yourself, wondering if it would cause any trouble if you left for an hour or so. probably not. you took a deep breath and decided to throw caution to the wind. there couldn’t have been anything wrong with going for a drive with jaehyun, you’d done so a million times during your whirlwind relationship. 

getting into the passenger seat, you glanced over and saw that jaehyun was beginning to charge his phone. he turned on the screen and appearing as if he was about to open up his spotify, you immediately snatched his phone away. for a second, you thought he might have been angered from the gesture, as it was one you did automatically like you used to, but he simply chuckled and failed to even protest. you turned on one of your own playlists.

“why didn’t you say that you were coming?”

“we haven’t spoken in a while, y/n,” responded jaehyun, as he looked down at his two feet. “and that’s mostly because of me. i wasn’t sure if you even wanted to hear anything from me.”

he began to reverse out of the parking spot, as meticulous as ever. the windows rolled down halfway on either sides and the street lamp light shone against his skin. it was a sight that you thought you’d never see again.

“i thought i never would,” you admitted, wondering why you were never the one to reach out first. “it’s stupid.”

“things get stupid,” jaehyun shrugged.

the two of you took your old route around the city. for an hour, the two of you caught up on what exactly had been going on in your lives for the past three years. you discovered that jaehyun lived alone, but had a cat named pepper. he has two good friends in america, both fellow law school students, but they’re going to be practicing in new york. he showed up to his graduation late, just like he did three years ago. he wasn’t the top of his class, but he was a decent suck up to his professors. he got a part time job at the local zoo. jaehyun hadn’t gotten into a serious relationship, only dated casually like you had. he started playing a bit of american football, but his true love was always going to be basketball. his dad was proud of who his son was, even after throwing away national victory.

the old ice cream spot that you used to go to late at night closed down sometime in the past three years. it was disappointing, but the two of you got greasy street food instead and it was just as good. you didn’t want to insult doyoung on his wedding day, but the food was pretty shitty and this was just what you needed.

“i just find it so weird that this is how everyone turned out after all this time,” jaehyun remarked, as the two of you returned to the venue. it had been quite some time since leaving, but the party was still in full swing.

you nodded. “you think everyone’s happy?”

“johnny? no, but he will be someday. lucas is definitely stressed as hell,” he chuckled a bit. “sicheng is. sooyoung is still finding herself. i think we’re all a little bit here, there, and in between and that’s okay. we have time.”

“are you happy in america?” you asked, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

“i am, but i’ll be even happier in korea.”

“what?”

before he could answer, a swarm of individuals collided with the two of you. it was everyone, some greeting you, others questioning where the two of you have been, while others, namely lucas, nagged for you to join them at the bar or on the dancefloor. you’d just sobered up, so you opted to join johnny and sicheng on the dancefloor to the voices of old school girls generation and jaehyun was unwillingly whisked away to the bar by lucas.

MAY 30TH, 2022. 12:56 AM KST.

there were just a few more minutes until the music was to stop playing for the reception and all of the guests were to be sent home. you spent the last while mostly with sicheng and sooyoung, as you knew they were the first ones you’d have to say goodbye to when everything was over. however, there was one more person that you needed to see and that was jaehyun. thankfully, he made a magical reappearance just in time for the last dance.

the sappy love song was a special request made by a very single johnny, who drunk slow danced with lucas in the middle of the floor. you were sitting at your table, taking a break from your devil shoes and talking with sooyoung when jaehyun strode over. you bit your lip, having noticed him started to make his way from your peripheral vision and mentally tried to prepare yourself.

“sorry to interrupt,” jaehyun said, “but i’d really like a dance, y/n.”

“she’s all yours,” sooyoung answered before you could, a smirk pressed on her lips. 

you stifled a laugh a her and got onto your feet, slipping the heels on and grimacing at the feeling. jaehyun helped steady you for the second time that night and you thanked him quietly, as he led you onto the dance floor.

something in you wished that he asked you to dance with him earlier, but this song was just as warm and fuzzy. they were about, simply put, love and the purity of it. jaehyun slid his arms around your waist and you placed your hands on his shoulders like it was an instinct.

all of a sudden, he said, “i wish things ended up differently.”

“jaehyun. .  .”

“doesn’t it feel like nothing’s changed?” jaehyun asked, taking his finger and pulling your chin up, so that he could meet your eyes. “it’s been, what, three years? you can’t tell me that it doesn’t feel like it.”

you cocked an eyebrow at him. “what are you trying to say?”

the feeling of stares burning into the back of your head was overwhelming. you were certain that all of your friends were watching the two of you, but you didn’t even care.

“i know we said that it was life that made things go wrong with us, but we can’t just blame that. it was us, too, you know.”

jaehyun nodded, eyes closed. “things started to feel empty when we stopped putting in the effort. that didn’t mean that i didn’t love you.”

“did you, though? shouldn’t you have put in the effort to show it?” you countered. it wasn’t like you wanted to argue with him, but the emotions were starting to spill out when you hadn’t been able to talk about this with him or anyone for years. “and don’t get me wrong, i can say the same for myself.”

“we were immature and we were taking everything so fast. we told each other that we’d get married after four months of dating,” he pointed out and you couldn’t help but reminisce about it, the feeling of young and stupid love that you felt for each other.

you let out a long sigh, placing your head on his chest to hide your frustrated expression. it was happening, the one thing that you were afraid of. you couldn’t afford to get lost in jung jaehyun and his pretty dimples and smooth talk again. 

you said, “can we please not do this? it’s not going to end well.”

“why? because that’s the way life dealt our cards?” jaehyun retorted. “it’s not that deep, we were separated by distance, so what? that wasn’t the problem.”

“then, what was it?” you asked.

jaehyun ran a hand through his messy, dark hair. “alright. you know what my dad told me during nationals in my last year?”

“oh, the nationals that you willingly lost? yeah, i remember it vaguely, nothing too special.”

he playfully poked your side, causing you to squeal and also turn some heads around the two of you. “shut up. yes, that one. he told me that there are two ways to play the game of basketball. you could either play it as it is, as the game flows and how it’s expected to be played by logic and precedent. then, there’s the way where you take control and ignore all other circumstances in order to focus on your goal.”

“god, nobody other than you would compare our relationship to basketball,” you laughed and so did he.

“fine, i guess i should just skip to the part where i tell you i’m staying in korea to shut your sarcastic ass up.”

“wait, what?” you stopped in your swaying movements, completely frozen at the news. “you’re. . .what?”

jaehyun grinned and pushed some of your hair out of your eyes. “i'm going to be working here. i have an articling job lined up already and from there, i’m going to build my career here in seoul.”

“b-but, i thought you were going to stay in—”

“i thought a little bit of risk taking was needed in my life. it was nice and it would probably be easier to start off there, but i think it’s time i take control. i took too much time blaming our circumstances and not doing anything about it. if i stayed in america where i knew that i wouldn’t be as happy as i would be here, but stayed because it was easier, it would be just like the unhappiness i felt after we ended things,” jaehyun said.

you nodded. “i’m sorry. i was like that, too.”

jaehyun shook his head, a small smile still playing on his lips. “it’s all in the past.” he said, “and since i’m back here permanently, i figured a good way to start my new life here was to steal my ex girlfriend’s heart again.”

it turned out that you didn’t need to fall back in love with jaehyun because like the two of you said before, the love was always going to be there. love is sweeter the second time around, even when the fates don’t exactly line up perfectly for you. that’s when you capture your own destiny. jaehyun was with you and he was finally home.

jaehyun & y/n’s song: my thoughts on you by the band camino the last dance song: all my life by wild

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