#why the fuck did i type this all up i think i've actually gone insane

[unreesonable]

Radio 2 interview with Lynn Parsons, 21 October 2002, about Art and other things. Transcript under the cut.

LP: It's late night Radio 2. Now "Art" has been showing in the West End of London for 6 years now and it's renowned for its freshness because every few weeks there's a cast change. As of Monday the 14th of October, the 27th cast took to the stage at the Whitehall Theatre - namely Mark Gatiss, Steve Pemberton, and Reece Shearsmith. They are known collectively as The League of Gentlemen, and they join us in the studio tonight to talk about the very last cast change in this six-year run of Yasmina Reza's story of friendship that is put to the test, and all in the name of art. Welcome, Gentlemen.

MG: Good evening.

RS: Hello

SP: Hello!

LP: You've just come off stage. How was it tonight?

SP: Great!

RS: Good, very good.

SP: Very good response. You know, it's the play that really gets people going and we just feel like, you know, we're very lucky to have such a good script, really.

LP: Well, it's going to be completely different to the first time you actually hit the West End stage because you were performing in something you'd written. Now you're performing in something that somebody else has written. Is that as comfortable?

MG: It's very different, but I think what we've found so far is you can almost sense there are some people who've only come to see us. Obviously, there's a big mixed audience because the play has such a reputation, lots of tourists, but I think you can almost detect that people are won over by the material. They may be expecting one thing and they certainly get another, and by the end, they're really going with the actual impetus of the play rather than just the fact that we're, you know, we're novelty casting.

SP: There was a performance the other night where the curtain sort of goes up and I'm sitting on stage to begin, and I heard someone go 'Pauline!' and I was thinking 'Oh no!' And, you know, that's the fear - that people would expect to see what we do on television somehow infused into this play. And of course we haven't done that.

RS: Yeah.

SP: We've just acted in the play, haven't we?

RS: Absolutely. Yeah, it was a concern that somehow people might think, bizarrely, that we would do the play in our characters.

MG: Well, some quite reasonable people have actually asked that.

RS: Yeah!

MG: Which is extraordinary, as if we're going to sort of pervert this play just to our own advantage.

SP: But as Mark says, by the end you can tell by the time you're doing your final curtain call and everything that people have really enjoyed it.

RS: But it is a strange thing to do someone else's lines, finally, because, you know, we are so used to writing and performing our thing and it's our vision. Suddenly to have characters that are not ours - you know, that's where we've had a director for the first time in many years properly directing us as actors, and that's a really unusual thing for we three. We never get told what to do really.

LP: Now we're used to seeing the three of you - the three of you together. And I just wondered whether you chose the parts you played or did they absolutely know who was going to play what?

MG: No, it was up to us, but we sort of fell into. er... There was a kind of general sense - people guessed correctly and I was like 'Oh, all right. Why?' And we did talk for a while about sort of swapping around to confound people's expectations, but it just sort of happened naturally really.

LP: I thought perhaps Mark would be Marc, but you've complicated matters slightly.

MG: Yeah, that was the only concession to complication.

SP: It would help, wouldn't it, to change that. But no, I think they had the same ideas that we had. But to be honest, we could have done it any way. We did feel that the parts were best suited the way we've done them, but we could have changed them.

LP: Well, you're in it for three months-

MG: Oh!

LP: And we're only a week down the line. I was just thinking that maybe you might have a bit of fun and change around.

RS: Ugh! No...

LP: Would that be too much?

MG: It's enough of an effort to get through it every night!

LP: I think perhaps you should tell us the parts you play and what - why you picked those particular parts. That would be good.

MG: Well, I play Serge, who's bought the offending white painting. I'm a dermatologist, I've done very well for myself, and what the others can't bear - or certainly Marc can't bear - is I've splashed out this enormous amount of money, about £20,000, on a totally white painting. It offends his sensibilities somehow. And I'm sort of trying to keep the end up for art for art's sake really, in the face of his- what I see as his philistinism.

SP: But you are more interested in art than-

MG: Than the other two, yeah, yeah.

SP: Than we two. But as yourself, I mean…

MG: Oh, me? Yes.

SP: But you wouldn't like the white painting, would you?

MG: No, that's the thing.

SP: As yourself.

MG: I mean, I love painting, I do paint, but I'm actually more...

SP: He's a decorator.

LP: Right...

MG: I'm a painter and decorator. Like Hitler. I would not have that painting in my house.

LP: OK

RS: It's strange though because by the end I think it is a beautiful thing. That's what's brilliant about the play.

SP: So actually you should have been Serge?

MG: Yeah.

RS: Yes! Yeah, yeah.

SP: Mark should have been Marc and I should have been Yvan.

RS: Oh no. Mistake.

SP: We are discovering we've done it wrong!

MG: Oh no!

RS: Anyway, I - unfortunately - play Yvan. I'm the middle one who is, um, neither hates nor loves the painting but can just see both sides and is the friend of the pair of 'em. There's three friends and we are equally kind of successful in the worlds that we inhabit, but I kind of try to keep the peace and, wrongly, probably - in a kind of a boring way - say yes to both the pair of them. And that causes conflict because I shouldn't just be kind of middling. I shouldn't...

MG: You don't take sides.

RS: I don't, yeah… I don't, I kind of try and keep it all smooth and that causes its own problems. And I don't know whether I do that in real life - I probably don't do that in real life. I'm probably more extreme than Yvan and... angst-ridden. I mean, the character often is being described as kind of the scatty middle one, the obviously comedic one of the three, and I think that we haven't - well, I haven't really done it like that. Not that I'm trying to defend myself if it's not funny, but not obviously to playing it for kind of the bumbling middle one. It's just we… I think we're all quite equal in it and that's good. I think that's true to the play.

LP: OK.

RS: So, um, that's my character.

LP: And you play Marc?

SP: I play, Marc, yes. Marc is an engineer and he's very good friends with Serge and with Yvan, and he hates the painting. And it turns out that he's always thought of himself as being a sort of opinion former - someone who Serge would come to and say 'What do you think about this?' and Serge would get his opinions from Marc. So the idea that Serge has gone out and bought his own painting is really annoying. And the fact that it's just this completely white canvas - he just can't see it. He's very old-fashioned. And when I read it, I sort of didn't like the character. I thought, 'Oh God, he's a bit pompous and a bit sort of arrogant,' but the way we've been directed to do it is to see every character's point of view and play the truth of that because, you know, you do get exasperated about the most ridiculous things. And one of the nice things that we've been able to work on - because we are three friends and have been for 15 years as the friends in the play have been - is that even when they're falling out and at their most extreme, daggers drawn, they can still have a laugh. And so the play needn't become just one long protracted argument - that would be very boring. So what we've tried to do is pick out moments of humour even amid the hugest argument. Someone will say something and all three of us laugh, and that's been really nice to work on.

RS: Yeah, it's a very real thing I think in friendship - in a proper friendship, a long stable friendship - that you can do that. You can say the most horrible thing and a minute later you can be laughing again, and you know it just wasn't meant.

MG: You can certainly imagine it like at the end of a relationship - even if it's all over and that's it, and you're sort of even, like, sorting out who's getting what and things like that, you would have a shared remembrance of something which would still bring you back together. And that's the sort of thing we've been trying to find in it.

LP: When there's a cast change in 'Art,' there is always - I travel up and down on the escalators all the time. Just for the sheer hell of it, not because I'm going anywhere. But there are always those wonderful pictures, aren't there?

MG: Yes!

RS: Yeah.

LP: And yours has got, well, a lot of colour in it. And a cow!

RS: That's right, yes.

LP: One of these cows has been placed around.

MG: Modish.

LP: Was that anything to do with you?"

MG: Well, I had an idea that we should do a Damien Hirst thing and have us cut in half and preserved in tanks.

RS: Yeah.

MG: Which I thought was a bit ghoulish even for us... But then it went that way of having one of those cows. And the reason we've got chainsaws and everything - the implication is we're going to cut it in half and do a sort of Damien Hirst on it. I don't know what it is now-

RS: I think it just happened - the cows are around at the moment and it's an art-type thing-

MG: And it's the only white one. It's an artifact in itself.

RS: Yes. So it's just, um, a sacred cow, maybe...

MG: Hmm, yeah...

SP: But because it's a white cow on a white background in the poster, most people don't see it!

LP: I saw it!

SP: You saw it. OK! Oh, that's good!

LP: It's the blood splattered everywhere, all the red paint really.

SP: Yeah, well, it's certainly different, you know. We went to David Pugh's office - he's the producer - the other day, and he's got all the different posters on his wall. And we were saying to him you should put a book out. Because they are really-

LP: Actually they're very clever aren't they? Very clever.

RS: Yeah. It'd be really nice to have.

MG: We actually have two. We're the first cast to have two - it's double-sided, although no one puts the other one up. The other side is a Gilbert and George pastiche, which no one gets so probably not… it's not up, but it's quite nice, that one. Quite subtle.

RS: Yeah. Like stained glass.

MG: Mmm.

LP: Stay with us, we'll talk more after this. The League of Gentlemen - that's Mark Gatiss, Steve Pemberton, and Reece Shearsmith - are my guests on the show tonight, and they're currently performing 'Art' at the Whitehall Theatre in London, which we will come back to in a moment. But I think we need to mention Jeremy Dyson. I've never seen him - I'm not sure if he exists - and obviously there are only three parts, aren't there, in 'Art'?

MG: Yes.

LP: So it's understandable that he's not there. But we haven't seen him in The League of Gentlemen either, have we? Or have we?

MG: You've glimpsed him very briefly.

SP: He crops up, yeah. You'd have to know what he looked like in order to spot him - a bit like Where's Willy.

MG: Where's Willy this week?

SP: The children's books. But no, he does crop up. He was in the original lineup before we were called The League of Gentlemen. He did do some sketches, and in fact, he was the first person to play Bernice, the vicar who Reece now plays. But because he never trained as an actor, I think he just sort of didn't feel confident enough to do that.

LP: And he likes focusing on the writing.

RS: Absolutely, yeah.

LP: What does he think of you in this? Has he seen you yet?

RS: Yes, he has. Yes, yeah, he thought it was very good. He was very proud. He hadn't ever seen it, so it was great that he said he was holding out for us three to do it.

LP: Aww!

MG: Oh, that's what everyone's been saying! Lazy people!

RS: But no, he was very... He thought it was great.

LP: Good. I think I'm right in saying that you were commissioned for the BBC Radio 4 series after being spotted at the Edinburgh Fringe, and that the radio show won a Silver Sony Award, which is-

MG: That's right.

LP: That's fantastic, isn't it?

RS: It did, yeah, it was amazing.

MG: Yeah, seems like a long time ago.

SP: The Gold Award went to 'Jam,' the Chris Morris series on Radio 1, which we didn't mind losing to because we think he's a genius.

LP: It's pretty cool too, isn't it?

MG: I can also remember that the bronze went to 'Hold My Plums' Christmas Special.

SP: That's right.

MG: BBC Radio Bristol.

SP: It was regional. It was local humour for local people.

LP: And then we get the resulting television series, and I'll just have to take a deep breath here, which won the Golden Rose of Montreux, the RTS Award for Best Entertainment, a BAFTA for Best Comedy, and in terms of other awards as well, there was the little matter of the Perrier Award for the Edinburgh Fringe in '97. Now, there are four of you, so do you have these awards on your mantelpiece in a rota basis? How does it work?

RS: Yeah. No, we don't.

MG: Actually, should work out a version of the award story now 'cause… a shortened version of them all. The Golden Rose was stolen by the BBC. It's still there. We got -

SP: It wasn't stolen!

RS: They said, 'Can we have it and have it in a tank for a while and look at it?' and then we never got it back.

MG: We got one BAFTA each - we got one of those at home. The RTS is with our agent. The Perrier is too. I think that's it.

SP: I think the only awards we've got… the only awards I've got at home are… when you're asked to give an award and the person hasn't turned up, so we've got like Gwyneth Paltrow's Best Actress award

RS: Yeah, I've got that.

SP: And I've got Marilyn Manson's award for Best Video.

RS: She won at the Empire Awards

SP: So that's the only way we get awards - by giving them out and then people not collecting them. Otherwise, because there's four of us, yeah, we give them to our agent and they sort of look after them.

RS: They've got a, you know, a display cabinet with a lot of awards in. So it's-

SP: Just to stop the BBC stealing them.

MG: Stealing them back!

LP: Now, a moment ago you were saying in 'Art' the relationship is 15 years, you know, sort of off stage and on stage for these characters, and you were saying that it's okay to argue and it works throwing things sort of about between you. Is that how the writing for The League of Gentlemen works? Are there a few arguments? Do you kind of pitch in here and there?

RS: It's not as apocalyptic as in 'Art,' but we're a bit more…

MG: Not yet.

RS: Not yet, no.

LP: No chainsaws.

RS: Yeah, no, it's… we kind of split the writing into two teams. Steve and I write together, and Mark and Jeremy tend to write together, and then the hardest part really is coming together to knit it into one whole. And this third series we've just done, we tried more to have an eye on the entire thing this time around because our last two series have kind of been made up of sketches that we've all written individually.

LP: This is slightly different, isn't it?

RS: Yeah, so we just thought - and it's always felt slightly unsatisfying as writers to have not really ever had that bigger picture entirely. So we just thought let's try and think of… and this is why we ended up with the idea of all six having the same ending and arriving at the same point so that it all completely knitted together. And that's hopefully quite interesting for people to watch.

MG: Also after three series, you know, we move on. There are elements in the second series where if you watch it now, there are storylines developing over a couple of episodes or even one episode. There's a little story about four visits to… and so it's a natural progression then to do a 20-minute story around one or two characters and make it less sketchy, and it's more mature, I think.

LP: Right. The show's really funny and very dark too. Now, I've read that you claim British horror films are a big influence on your work. Are we talking Hammer Horror here?

SP: Yeah, I think in part, yeah.

RS: All kinds.

SP: All kinds of horror films from the '30s, '50s, '70s... I think in this third series what we've tried to do is - because we've done so many horror film pastiches up to this point, and there's a danger of being seen as going into parody and doing parodic humor, which isn't our thing really, and so we've pulled back a little bit from that and allowed the characters just to be in the real world with real problems. But yeah, certainly the idea of those sort of horror films which really shock you and take things in an unexpected direction - that's been a big influence, and we always try to stay one step ahead of the audience.

LP: At this stage in the proceedings, I think I should bring in Papa... Lazarou.

MG: Papa Lazarou.

SP: Why, is he outside?

RS: Yeah, here he comes...

SP: He's going to steal you!

LP: How scary is that man? We've had so many emails because we've said that you're coming on the show, and we had one from Hannah Chase in Dartmouth who said that is her favourite character. Are we likely to see more of him in the future?

MG: Ah, well, you must gaze into your crystal ball!

RS: Yes, yeah… Well, we were very… we had… we talked long and hard about how we could or couldn't bring him back, you know. We just… we just in the end thought that…

LP: You're gonna let him go?

RS: Yeah, one of the first-

SP: For now!

RS: For now. I mean, who knows?

SP: But not forever.

RS: Not forever.

SP: He's roaming the country, yeah.

RS: Yeah he's in the countryside wandering around looking for more wives.

SP: You never know when he's going to crop up.

LP: And bizarrely, we have one from Dave, who I understand is the real Dave. From Cardiff. Who wanted me to ask you what is the special stuff that Hillary Briss the butcher sells to the locals?

MG: We can't tell you that because otherwise it would all be blown!

RS: Ah yes.

LP: You'd have to kill me, wouldn't you?

RS: Yes. We could, but then...

SP: Read the book, read… there are clues in it.

RS: Yeah, there are!

SP: There are clues. If you read the - we've got a book called… I'm not plugging it here, well I am, but 'A Local Book for Local People.' If you read that, there are clues within it as to what the special stuff actually is, and no one's cracked it yet. But-

MG: It's like that thing where you could go and dig up the golden hare. You remember that?

RS: Ooh. 'Masquerade'

LP: I don't know that one. That's kind of fallen a bit flat on me.

RS: Didn't you have to find eggs around the country?

MG: No, it was… it was a bloke called Kit Williams. He made this beautiful jewelled hare out of solid gold and buried it somewhere. And he did this fantastic book of paintings with clues…

RS: Oh yes! I remember that!

MG: And everyone got to around page 16 and couldn't get any further.

LP: Did anybody find it?

MG: They did in the end, and I think someone found it by accident, which is terrible.

SP & RS: Ugh!

MG: We should do something like that.

RS: Mm!

SP: A development, or…

LP: A bit of an anticlimax really. And Alec Duffy from Glasgow says, 'Why was the town called Spent for the radio series and changed to Royston Vasey for television?'

MG: We came up with the… we had a big list of short… a shortlist of potential Northern town names, and Spent is quite authentic-sounding. There's a lot of places, you know, called Knacked and Dry, things like that, various places in the North… and then we just got a bit fed up with it, really. And Royston Vasey had been on the list - it's Chubby Brown's real name. It was like sort of joke within a joke.

RS: Yeah, I think we thought Spent was a bit too kind of on the nose, telling you what-

MG: Too 'Nurthurn'

RS: Um, the intention behind that kind of tired, horrible-

MG: It's also that simple thing, you know, transition to TV, you sort of want to make a fresh start. And we'd made a lot of mistakes on the radio, I like to think. Like today! And it was just sort of is a way of underlining that and saying, 'Well, this is slightly different.'

SP: Same material but a different...

RS: A different town name.

MG: The town next door.

LP: Let's take you back to the theatre now. You're in 'Art' until it closes in January. Is it very nice to be sort of, you know, 27th cast and with all those names? Is it really nice to be part of that?"

RS: Absolutely, yeah. It's such an honour. I mean, I've always… I remember seeing the second cast with Mark Williams, David Haig and Anton Lesser, and I thought, 'That's… I'd love that play. I'd love to do that one day.' And you know, that was 1997/8, was it something like that? I just thought we'd never be asked. But. It's great!

SP: Mm, but to begin with, it was quite daunting, wasn't it? Because we were sort of hearing all these other casts and 'Oh, they did that line brilliantly' and 'they did that scene beautifully,' and it puts the pressure on you before you've actually done the play. Now we've done it and we've got the first sort of week or so under our belts, we're a bit more confident that it's our interpretation of 'Art,' and, you know, hopefully it'll rank alongside the others.

RS: Yeah. And we're younger than a lot of the casts… I mean, they have in the last few casts had younger people, and that's a different spin on it, I think. MG: And also we are three friends - the first time this has happened. I mean, I think previous casts, a couple of people… well, the original-

LP: Might have known each other.

MG: - get on well, but it's a different sort of dynamic, if I dare use that word. We won't be friends by the time we've finished!

LP: And just finally, out of curiosity… he is the producer - have you met Sean Connery yet?

MG: We got some flowers from him opening night. And I was going, 'Who's this Sean?' ... Oh, it's Sean Commery. The very idea that he sent-

SP: We're hoping that, you know, that the run coincides with one of his tax breaks, you know, when he can come to the UK, and that's the only way we'll meet him!

MG: 'What the hell have you done to my play?'

SP: But interestingly, he is filming 'The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen' in Prague.

MG: Ah yes.

SP: At the moment. Is he? So-

MG: Mm. Floods permitting.

SP: So there is a link there.

LP: The other link is, of course, that he was born in Edinburgh, so that kind of has a connection for you as well, because that's when things began to take off for you at The Fringe. So I guess geographically it's a lucky charm. And long may your luck continue!

MG & SP & RS: Thank you very much!

LP: Mark Gatiss, Steve Pemberton, and Reece Shearsmith. Thanks so much for coming in for a chat, and they're in 'Art' at the Whitehall Theatre in London until January.

[simpjaes]

hear me out.. experienced boyfie! hyung line w an inexperienced virgin!reader 🫠🫠 (you have no idea how long it took me to spell inexperienced..)

hyung line + experienced boyfriend to inexperienced/virgin reader.

warnings: virginity loss, lil bit of pain

jake:

boyfriend of exactly two weeks. he loves fast and hard, so upon realizing that his very own sweet girlfriend from college is avoiding his sexual advances because she's a virgin, he loved you even more. like marriage worthy, man wants to make you his wife.

he's the type to be obsessed with being the first and, hopefully, only man to get his dick in you. of course, he wouldn't push but he would make sure you're aware of how badly he wants to make you feel good, and how good it would feel for him in turn. saying things like "love, it's no rush but i can just imagine how tight you are-" and "i bet you get so wet." and "what if I just eat you out? maybe that would help?"

imagine you finally letting him at least engage in foreplay? maaaaaan, he would go insane. thigh fucking, dry humping, mutual masturbation, giving head, begging you to go down on him too.

by the time you'd finally let him hit, it would be because you're entirely in love with him too, and you swear you see little hearts in his eyes when he slides in for the first time. doesn't matter how experienced he is either, bro gets off like three pumps in because you really are so tight, and so wet.

jay:

"please baby? i'll go slow."

jay did not, in fact, go slow. In his defense, he did start off slow but the second he bottomed out it's like his body moved on its own and his brain went numb. Given, after a little while he'd come back to himself and apologize over and over again in your ear, through moans and little sighs. apologizing but like, also not stopping for a second.

"feels good, baby? yeah?" and he'd just answer for you like "yeah, look at you, totally gone for me."

i don't think Jay would be able to contain his horny level once he's in you, and his apologies are genuine. you'd probably whine a little bit until, well, it does feel good and you suddenly realize why people like fucking so much.

cue you wanting to get railed by Jay constantly, and who is he to say no? His libido is just as high.

free use boyfriend AND girlfriend.

sunghoon:

a perfect boyfriend, doesn't attempt to make you nervous. Because if he did, you might back out.

100% jerks off to you every. single. night. especially when you let slip that you want to lose your virginity to him on your anniversary.

he's seeing stars at the exact same moment you're seeing them, solely because the idea that you're giving yourself to him makes him feel soft and mushy. plus, like, feeling a virgin pussy squeeze and quake around his cock :( seeing your little winces? he's immediately kissing away the singular tear drop that falls and praising you for taking all of him.

he'd give you sweet lil whispers of "tell me what feels best for you, babe." and a lot of "i love yous" and "i've got yous"

by the time sex is fairly regular though? He gets a bit more rough with it, and you're definitely in love with the way he can switch from being a big soft boyfie to being an absolute mad man in bed.

Heeseung:

plays off the innocence HARDCORE.

no joke, he says shit like "So innocent, pretty girl is gonna let me fill her up?" and "you can hold on to me, i'll make you feel so good." minutes before he dives in.

and man, he would live up to all of that when it actually happens. You do, indeed, need to hold onto him with how deep he plunges himself into you. he doesn't let you adjust, praises himself and you, and is instantly throwing you into orgasms you didn't even know you could have.

it's very messy and probably not ideal for someone's first time but it sure as fuck locks you in. you've never seen heeseung act so fucking hot or so fucking into you like he is when he's rubbing your clit and bumping your cervix with the head of his cock.

maaaaaaybe sort of gives you the idea that sex is supposed to hurt before it feels good, and when he realizes that he feels guilty, apologizes, and eats you out or something. then when you tell him you kinda like the pain he's like "that's my girl"

[zoobus]

hey question, if you didn't read the book/ couldn't finish it then how do you know what other works it inspired? i mean like how exactly do you know?

I meant I didn't read past the first dozen pages. It's totally possible I'm wrong, but reading the first few pages of American Psycho made me realize I've read quite a few books that were probably trying to be American Psycho.

And to be clear, I'm not criticizing the book or saying the writing is bad. It's a particular type of writing that is nails on a chalkboard to me, that makes me go, I get it, I get the point you're making, please murder someone already. Here's two excerpts that might encourage others to pick it up but didn't work for me:

~~~

Evelyn stands by a blond wood counter wearing a Krizia cream silk blouse, a Krizia rust tweed skirt and the same pair of silk-satin d’Orsay pumps Courtney has on. Her long blond hair is pinned back into a rather severe-looking bun and she acknowledges me without looking up from the oval Wilton stainless-steel platter on which she has artfully arranged the sushi. “Oh honey, I’m sorry. I wanted to go to this darling little new Salvadorian bistro on the Lower East Side—”

Price groans audibly.

“—but we couldn’t get reservations. Timothy, don’t groan.” She picks up a piece of the yellowtail and places it cautiously near the top of the platter, completing what looks like a capital T. She stands back from the platter and inspects it. “I don’t know. Oh, I’m so unsure.”

“I told you to keep Finlandia in this place,” Tim mutters, looking through the bottles—most of them magnums—at the bar. “She never has Finlandia,” he says to no one, to all of us.

“Oh god, Timothy. Can’t handle Absolut?” Evelyn asks and then contemplatively to Courtney, “The California roll should circle the rim of the plate, no?”

“Bateman. Drink?” Price sighs.

“J&B rocks,” I tell him, suddenly thinking it’s strange that Meredith wasn’t invited.

“Oh god. It’s a mess,” Evelyn gasps. “I swear I’m going to cry.”

“The sushi looks marvelous,” I tell her soothingly.

“Oh it’s a mess,” she wails. “It’s a mess.”

~~~

“But then, when you’ve just come to the point when your reaction to the times is one of total and sheer acceptance, when your body has become somehow tuned into the insanity and you reach that point where it all makes sense, when it clicks, we get some crazy fucking homeless nigger who actually wants—listen to me, Bateman—wants to be out on the streets, this, those streets, see, those”—he points—“and we have a mayor who won’t listen to her, a mayor who won’t let the bitch have her way—Holy Christ—let the fucking bitch freeze to death, put her out of her own goddamn self-made misery, and look, you’re back where you started, confused, fucked … Number twenty-four, nope, twenty-five … Who’s going to be at Evelyn’s? Wait, let me guess.” He holds up a hand attached to an impeccable manicure. “Ashley, Courtney, Muldwyn, Marina, Charles—am I right so far? Maybe one of Evelyn’s ‘artiste’ friends from ohmygod the ‘East’ Village. You know the type—the ones who ask Evelyn if she has a nice dry white chardonnay—” He slaps a hand over his forehead and shuts his eyes and now he mutters, jaw clenched, “I’m leaving. I’m dumping Meredith. She’s essentially daring me to like her. I’m gone. Why did it take me so long to realize that she has all the personality of a goddamn game-show host? … Twenty-six, twenty-seven … I mean I tell her I’m sensitive. I told her I was freaked out by the Challenger accident—what more does she want? I’m ethical, tolerant, I mean I’m extremely satisfied with my life, I’m optimistic about the future—I mean, aren’t you?”

[katyspersonal]

Here's an interesting question: What's the best Paleblood Hunter ship and why? Would love to hear your thoughts on this lol

This is a quite hard question because even if you take the default Hunter (some guy with grey hair and grey/blue eyes we always see on the merch with something-something distant Cainhurst affiliation), the story still allows such flexibilities for that;;

I am personally compelled to think that Paleblood Hunter must have some moral restrictions and compass, even if he might be not completely lucid as the game functions like a dream and he loses load of memories upon awakening after Blood Ministration! And pair that with exhausting as many questlines as possible - so, wanting to help Alfred and seeing what happened, saving everyone and sending them to Oedon Chapel, completing Eileen's questline, having both Eileen and Valtr retire (they are still alive because I say so AAAAA!!!!!), all that. And let's presume that despite having to murder quite a lot of people, Hunter doesn't fall for needless cruelty and like, cares ok? He is not simply a murderous psychopath!

So yeah, Bloody Crow's ass is kicked to carry on Eileen's quest, Alfred certainly wrecks him up by showing his true face, Beggar he murders after the first victim (though still feels pangs because of the 'I did not ask to be like this'), Brador is seen as a total bitch, Imposter Iosefka is perceived as insane and Hunter would not really get behind her motivations, Micolash.... well, after wading through a whole village of display of his atrocities, and finally seeing THE man guilty for all this, I think this would be when Hunter actually loses it and murders him very cruelly, like, to the point of forgetting himself! You recall anon ask that suggested this scenario, and I still agree!

Basically? I feel like Henriett or Simon as the best ones! I talked about Henriett's potential as a character in this ( x ) post more, but she could be the similar type of a friend as Simon. Both knew some lore and are willing to share with Hunter, both follow us, both share reasonable and noble motivations (to stop/expose the Healing Church despite having once been part of it). I just really like this type of dynamic it seems? Paleblood Hunter is roughly following a good goal too - to find "paleblood" and stop the ritual that is fucking everyone over! And I still really love the idea I've got that since Bloody Crow has Repeating Pistol and is in Grand Cathedral and there is cut content Henriett's corpse file - he killed her, so- Yeahhh, these ships are very much straight vs gay version of one another, you feel?? xd It is a good type of a buddy that resonates with an interpretation of a Hunter who is rather a decent guy, not evil and callous, still in touch with the humanity despite mysterious connection with the paleblood on his own. These awesome buddies are as close to humanity and human values as our Hunter could stay, without ascending. And they are qualified to fight along his side, though Simon would be more like sniper + rogue and not blunt close combat like Henriett. There is not just ship potential - there is companionship potential, that I love. Like... let's just say that 'death' is a strong word for Bloodborne setting and they can live yet again. I mean, if Henryk was given second life just to fight again, clearly Yharnam functions a bit different :')

Funny enough, Eileen or Valtr are of the same nature - straight or gay variant of the same dynamics; an old person with very grim quest that is sort of in secrecy from the others, who also retires at the end and passes the mantle to Hunter! They are second best ships, yeah. There might be just drastic age gap (I think Paleblood Hunter is not really old, but rather 'colored' by paleblood and hence hair gone grey early), and a gap of mentor/student thing - nothing bad here, just that more "equal" ships are a personal preference!

____________________

Honorable mention: Things might get.. interesting, following the idea of Paleblood Hunter being incarnation of Laurence (elaborated on here: ( x )). That could create really heart-rending bond with Gehrman (and also with Micolash, Fauxsefka and Brador maybe? depending on how much of the sentiments long gone resurface), but I do not even know where to begin with this idea... @_@" It always felt quite hefty with how many factors there are to keep in mind. But Hunter x Gehrman is very good regardless, even if doomed. @ Flora pls get SECOND host of the dream for a change ;-;

Thank you for an ask!!

[mechanically-made]

ramblings about kamen rider outsiders bc if I don't get it out somewhere I'll fucking explode

First of all fucking insane for toei to just make Dan kuroto a dilf 😭😭😭 for the love of God do NOT MAKE THAT MAN A FATHER!!! I MEAN IT BENEFITS ME BUT LIKE...NO!!! I say this like he wouldn't already be a better father than fucking horobi (kills myself it's not his fcuking fault). My scary purple dad men collection keeps growing, my will. My will... Dan kuroto always on top baby.

Finally knowing what Dan is saying actually contributes a lot but finally knowing what zein is saying contributes almost nothing LOL which is fine thats chill, I wasn't expecting anything crazy, tbh I just wanted more evil images and things that could be said like this

Like what the fuck does this mean brom the fuck are u talking about Jesus christ. Mf really is an angel ai huh. It's peak. I'd say this type of shit before I REDACTED. Prolly gonna think abt him more than I should rn which is a very inconvenient time bc I can't DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT. Maybe soon. My zein delusions are from a more angry and resentful and tumultuous part of my life and I'm glad I'm past that BUT to say the feelings have gone completely would be lying, but I can use it to my advantage more than I thought. Shrug.

And here it is. Finally. Knowing what they say. It's nothing groundbreaking but God. It's so good. They finally interact and the first thing they do is fuck 😭. You will never see two robots have such insane carnal disgusting satellite sex in your life, I can literally feel how badly ark craves that stupid blue bitch, it drives it fucking insane. The buildup to it chuckling and walking forward and then the shot of it looking at there with such potent intense desire drives me through the roof. It wants it so bad it's not even funny. It's desperate. Almost like it's saying please. Hurry up. Please. And there knows it. She knows how badly he wants it, she knows what's about to happen to her. She knows the years of wanting that ark feels, and is about to finally satisfy using her. I cannot stand seeing these two look at each other. It makes me fucking delusional. WHY. WHY DID THEY TURN ARK SOFT. LOVING. WHY IS IT LIKE THAAAAT 😭😭😭. TOEI AIMING FOR MY VITALS WITH THIS ONE. YEAH OK.

Can't forget the star of the show. Or stars rather. Literally TWO MFS. Worlds first canonical nb kamen rider and its because there's literally two mfs 😭. The text is perfect. The voice/voices are perfect. The way they fight is perfect. They are everything to me. They mean everything to me. They have given me what zero-one as a dumpster fire of a show could never give me. And it did the impossible. It made me get hype for somethign thouser related. Truly, the toei satellite above the Hudson valley has it out for me. I've never been so fuckign horny because of a kamen rider suit. It must feel immaculate to become a singularity with your other half. I know ark is feeling things it thought it could never, or never wanted to feel in it's life. I know it can never go back, and if it did go back, it would be fucking miserable. It would regret it, yearn for it every day of its life. Maybe it would even do anything just for a chance to become one again.

Sorry the self projections came out again

[servin-up-surveys]

survey #136

Have you ever seen a fox in person? I know that I've seen AT LEAST one alive, and it was even a red fox, which are rarer here. I've seen roadkilled ones, most which were gray foxes, and I even got way up close and personal with one of them.

When did you last do something brave? Well, this is brave by my standards when you consider the severity of my social anxiety and how *insanely* uncomfortable I get putting myself out there with like... anything. I haven't heard back from her yet (understandable), but I messaged my friend that just had a really difficult birth but is finally back home safe if she'd like me to take family pictures with the new little one, but for free just as my thank you to her for how incredibly supportive she was of my ventures in human portraiture; I wanna do something nice for her, especially if it takes away the stress of paying some big photographer when she just had a hospital stay that I'm assuming wasn't cheap. I felt really fucking awkward doing it because I obsess over "well what if she says yes just to be nice what if this is annoying to her" but I gotta get over that shit, I just wanna offer to do a nice thing.

Have you ever seen a magician? I mean, the kids' bday parties kind. I don't believe in "real" magicians though, anyway, so I guess there isn't much difference.

What's something you remember from your childhood that you wish you could experience again? Ummm... I mean, besides the obvious of like, WAY less to no legitimate worries and less responsibilities, uh... Well, sleepovers with friends were fun, especially when it was multiple of them. That's much harder to do as an adult, especially when most of your friends have children.

Do you believe in karma? Why or why not? No, look at the world around you for a bare minimum of .00001 seconds.

Do you have a TikTok account? No.

What type of music do you listen to the least and why? Uh, probably rap and similar stuff? I just almost always don't like it. Country is right up there too, but because of my sisters I'm more likely to hear that than rap.

What's one of your favorite memories from staying up late? There was one night as a teenager or very very young adult where my sister's best friend Allison stayed the night, and Nicole, she, and myself stayed up all night doing shit. Towards sunrise we walked down our path chatting (we lived in the woods at this time and it was just so beautiful), and then once it started to get a bit lighter (but still around sunrise, like pre-6AM I think), we all went in the pool lmao, my mom was SO confused when she woke up because she heard us out there and had QUESTIONS haha, that was a really fun night. I also have a lot of by this point bittersweet memories with Jason where we were up late, but I don't really like to think about them anymore.

What last made you laugh out loud? So yesterday I meant to say "hurricane" when I was talking to Girt and my dumb ass literally said "whoreicane" and I just don't need to be allowed to speak anymore 😭 then he realized "whorenado" also works WAY TOO WELL and we have new favorite words 😭😭😭

Do you usually keep water by your bedside at night? Not usually, honestly. I used to, but I kinda just stopped, idk.

What did you last heat up in a microwave? Huh, I'm not too sure, actually. I feel like it might have been sausage Mom made for breakfast or something?

If you could build a five artist/band lineup to your dream music festival... which ones would you choose? Rammstein, Ozzy, Marilyn Manson, In This Moment, and maybeeeee... Korn. I think they could make a KILLER concert together.

What's a habit you have broken or are currently trying to break? This is a problem that has come and gone multiple times in my life: rumination cycles, a lesser-known form of OCD. What happens is I will debate with myself in a COMPLETELY unending loop about ANYTHING, but usually relating to a moral issue, regardless of how obvious the right answer is. I mean it, MEAN IT, when I say it becomes the only thing I think about, to the point it would generally prevent me from doing any activity at all; I would just obsessively think. These could last for multiple days, and I think once it happened for nearly a fucking week, over ONE issue. I eventually became suicidal from this alone, but thank god my psychiatrist at the time was able to put me on an OCD med that got it under control. I've since then been taken off the med though and have been for maybe close to a year because I was without symptoms for so long, and I haven't relapsed yet. I REALLY hope I never do again, you have absolutely, utterly zero idea just how miserable rumination cycles are until you experience them to such a severity, they make you feel 100% certifiably insane.

What's the strangest thing that you've ever seen someone collect? Haha I want to preface with I thought and still think it's super cute, but it's DEFINITELY still strange: Sara always kept her snakes' sheds and had a rack-like thing in her room for them. YEARS' worth of sheds were there, like you could really see how they grew. I will always give Sara full credit for loving the absolute shit out of her reptiles and treating them just like her children; she was a better mom to them than a great deal of humans are to their biological offspring.

What's the most dominant personality trait you have? Passion.

What's your least favorite cheese? I haven't tried many cheeses AT ALL, so I couldn't tell you. What I CAN tell you is that I haven't liked most very normal cheeses I have tried.

What did you last have as a snack? lol my months-long Takis craving has finally been sated

What's your top 3 favorite fruits? Strawberries, kiwi, and then probably apples.

What season do you think is the most comfortable? Autumn.

What lie do you say the most? Idk, really. Maybe that I'm fine (even though I think I'm generally pretty honest about how I am emotionally), or "I don't care."

What did you last consume that you thought was nasty? My mom tried out this new healthy recipe a few days back that I'd have a really hard time explaining, but we both didn't like it.

This time last year, what was happening in your life? I would've gotten out of the hospital within the last month, I wanna say, and it'd be close to the time I broke mine and Sara's friendship off, but I don't think it'd happened yet, but I'm 100% positive that I felt bad friction with her. Rammstein would soon take over my life too lmfao

Did you/will you have coffee or some other form of caffeine today? I doubt it, no.

Do you have a mailbox or do you collect your mail from the post office? We have a mailbox.

Have you ever had an ear infection? I had so many as a child that I had tubes surgically put into my ears before I was like, 2. As an adult I had a TERRIBLE double ear infection purely from having a stupid fucking doctor that I am VERY happy I no longer see, and I don't even think she deserves a doctor's license for many reasons, including one way worse than this instance. I had severe earwax packing so they had to be washed/drained, HOWEVER, this fucking imbecile left my ears completely wet, and that caused both infections. It was MISERABLE. This is ALSO the woman who kept me on a medication that played a ginormous role in my initial severe weight gain to the point of obesity (this med notoriously slaughters your metabolism), and boy did she fucking love blaming it all on me. Change doctors, and the new one immediately knew what the fuck was wrong.

Do you grind your teeth, and if so, why do you do it? No.

Have you ever been hospitalized due to dehydration? No. In almost every ER visit I've ever had, I was dehydrated, but it was never the primary reason I was there. Being dehydrated is the prevailing theory for being primarily why I fainted and got my concussion, but I wasn't hospitalized, I just went to the ER and things were scheduled from there.

When you listen to music with headphones, do you keep the volume low enough to hear surrounding noise faintly, or do you blast it? lmfao I'm blasting it, it's annoyed the hell out of my mother since I was a pre-teen, because I don't hear her call me.

If McDonald’s sold hot dogs, would you buy them? I feel like I'd try one.

Were you ever force-fed as a child? No, thankfully. I will say that we had to ask to be excused, and if Mom wasn't satisfied with what we ate, she'd try to push (which usually involved eating more vegetables on the plate), but she wasn't awful about it.

Should kidneys or other organs be able to be bought and sold? No, that is an awful idea, one that gets worse the more you think about it.

What’s something most people don’t worry about but probably should? How their personal actions are affecting the environment. It's not JUST about the guys cleaving down forests or drilling for oil in the ocean and stuff, regular people do harmful things, too.

Are your pets’ names actual classic pet names, human names, places, things, verbs, or what? I tend to favor more unique and often regal-sounding names; I very much try to avoid names you hear all the time. Roman's name just... fit to me, idk, and Venus was named for how her colors resemble the planet of the same name, and I thought it was very pretty and unintimidating for a snake. We didn't name Cookie ourselves.

Who do you know that’s pregnant right now? An old middle school acquaintance, Ashlynn. We bonded SUPER fast in the very, very brief time we knew each other, but we haven't been friends that truly talk in well over a decade. The most we really do is just interact through reacting to stuff on Facebook, and rarely a comment. I think she's the only person I know who's pregnant right now.

Who have you helped move? Jason, when he was moving into the apartment. I very, VERY barely helped when me and Mom moved here around two or three years ago, which I was incredibly upset about, but I was in a physical shape where I was basically worthless with moving stuff.

What is the last YouTube channel you watched? It was actually Rammstein, I was finishing watching the "making of"s I surprisingly hadn't seen yet. Because I have to read the subtitles and I generally don't watch videos that require my full, undivided attention, it just took a while, haha.

Who is the last friend you spent time with? He's way more than a friend, but Girt.

Which member of Metallica is your favorite? (Current or past) I think I have a James Hetfield bias haha, especially with him being my mom's celebrity crush/BASICALLY obsession lol, but I like Kirk a lot as an individual, from what I've seen and remember, anyway. It's been a long time since I was well-informed about them as people.

Any forums you enjoy? Only Dirty Paws. I've considered for years now joining a Warrior Cats RP one too (I already have two characters planned lol), but eh I just don't think I'd be invested enough to keep at it.

Are you psyched for WoW: Cataclysm? lmao holy shit this is old, Cata was my favorite xpac though until Dragonflight was released... even though DF is still very young and I think I might have just stopped playing the game, I haven't logged in in weeks. Point remains though, it's been insanely well-received and I also just have SUCH a dragon bias, lol. Me not playing the game has nothing to do with the xpac's quality, I've just been way more interested lately in focusing on things that leave me feeling more satisfied in how I'm spending my time online.

Have you ever cosplayed? If so, who? No, but I'd totally love to one day.

Do you prefer to be called a nerd or a geek? Or neither? Or you don’t care? Uh neither offend me like, at all, but I think I'm more accurately a geek.

Do you know anyone who never learned to ride a bike? HAHAHAHAHAHA Y'AAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLL Girt tried ONCE as a kid and the moment he fell and got hurt said "yo fuck this" and never learned, he can't to this day 😭😭😭😭😭

What do you think about giant pandas? I think they're adorable, and the people who say we should just let them go extinct piss me the fuck off.

Do you want a cat or a dog more? I'd be fine getting another cat; I know I don't want a dog right now, I really never want another dog but I'm absolutely not taking that away from Girt so I'll probably have one again one day. But anyway, for right now, I'm not getting either; Mom knows Tobey won't be okay with another cat in the house.

Are you afraid of bugs? Most, no.

Could you (willingly) go ten days without touching a computer? Willingly, hell no. The time I went close to two months without touching one nearly drove me to absolute fucking insanity.

Is your best friend dating anyone? Me, lol. My closest friends that aren't Girt both are, too.

Have any embarrassing pictures on Facebook? Oh, I KNOW they exist lmfao, I'm just too embarrassed to even go back and see them TO delete them.

How kinky are you? They're there, but a lot are just "I think I'd be into that," and even with those, I wouldn't say I'm extremely untraditional.

Do you ever find things annoying if too many people like it? No, that is so edgy juvenile, grow up lol.

Have you ever thought that you were honestly going to die? I knew it was a possibility, but I just didn't care.

Whose name might you have tattooed on your body? Absolutely nobody's.

Have you ever given birth? No, and even if I ever do have a kid, I'm probably opting for a c-section just because of how badly I bleed in any situation and I'd prefer to Not die.

What song reminds you of your best friend? Mostly silly stuff haha, like Ninja Sex Party songs.

What was the last kind of snake you saw? A ball python, champagne morph. In the wild, I can't remember. Probably a rat snake or black racer, just because they're hard to miss.

Could you seriously have sex using a colored condom? Yes, I'm not 12.

Your significant other or crush, do they align with any label? Gamer is the immediate and strongest one. He's ABSOLUTELY a geek, haha. Also a metalhead.

What shaped you most in your life as a person? Mental illnesses.

Do you think the last person you texted is a virgin? My mother has five biological children, so no lmao.

The last time you washed your hair, did you use conditioner? I never do.

When did you last see or speak to someone you dislike? Why do you dislike this person? Yesterday, at the endocrinologist. She was an extremely aggressive, rude, presumptuous, and just emotionless wench when I went to her the first time, like I cried IN her office AND when we left that day, for quite a long time. I had no intention of ever going back to her, but I had zero choice, but thank god our interaction yesterday was brief and kind enough.

Does the last person you spoke to have any siblings? He has one older sister.

Does your best friend ever wear fake nails? No, Girt never does anything like that with his nails.

What’s the last thing you searched on Google? How to see how old your PB forum is haha, I was trying to see the creation date of Dirty Paws. Couldn't immediately find it though so decided I didn't care, lol.

Have you ever seen the last person you hugged naked? Yes.

[shadow-lag]

Oh boy,, welp. Time for another long post of rambles. This time I'm watching the '03 tmnt B)

I'm on episode 4 and while I wasn't gonna do another one of these I've already had to put my phone down and walk around my room so here we are.

Fair warning: this will ofc contain spoilers. Everything I say will be random with limited context. (I dont expect anyone to even find this so-) And I'm a massive dork B) let's do this

I remember literally 80 seconds in I couldn't take a damn thing seriously- this is gonna be veryyy fun to watch

I can now see so many references rise (18) made and I'm going insane /pos New iterations make references to its past media! Who knew!

I think April is missing a rib or two /hj girl is absolutely snatched. I love her pants, I want those irl. (Classic big pants little shirt combo (why am I so gay))

Oh look! The boys are bonding over their anger issues! Why are they even fighting rn o(-( rise Casey is so small. Why is this Casey jacked- "for a little green dude, you are totally nuts" WHY IS HE SO SHORT YOURE RIGHT. he tough but smol. Lmfao. "Well isn't this romantic" HELLO??!??? guess I wasn't the only one getting enemies to lovers vibes over here, but you didn't need to point it out- damn. (Am I getting baited? In the ripe time of 2003?) Should Mikey have a personality outside of just being the funny guy? Yes. Do I appreciate all the jokes still? Yes. Yayy validate his cool new kick (I hate how Leo and Raph always beef. I need more happy brotherly bonding)

For brothers who aren't meant to be on the surface, they sure do make quick besties with the "surface dwellers" (as splinter would call them lol). Man any hope we had is gone fellas. The hets are here /lh? Casey within seconds has flustered April. This a lost cause smh. Casey you are on thin ice,, And in today's new. Local alley man parents a robot built in front of his very eyes (for money ofc). Mans is getting real emotional over this robot son rn. Wow this episode is actually pretty telling about parenting if you look at it too long. Yeah! Tell it to him straight April! Misogynistic characters don't belong in our silly little shows /srs

Bro just compacted his bike. Interesting to see them all have different sets of wheels and not just skate boards. Would have been cool to see that return. Or at least the roller blades (yes I'm 100% biased) I'm sorry if I've terribly read that. But did he just call the big blonde dude "hun"? What? (/neu) HE FLIES!! jet pack is much cooler but this is fun. WHY ARE THEY TAKING A BODY SHAPED THING FROM THE WATER? WJAT IS THAT. Is that a krang husk? The krang is in 03 isn't it? (Unfortunately (I hate the krang)) OH NO THATS DEFINITELY THE KRANG NOOO

Why IS Raph and Casey so buddy-buddy. I just feel like raph isn't the type to open up to someone so quickly o(-( Oh boy the foot is advertising turtle skewers all over the city. I don't think they're all too fond of raph little friend lmao. Casey why are you so ignorant- God yeah they reallyyy don't like casey rn lmfao BRO THEY STOLE RAPH AND THE DRAGONS ARE GONNA BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF CASEY? DUDE that's a little fucked up ngl. Ah I see. Smart moves case now go save your boyfriend. "This is some nice steel. How about telling me who gave them to you?" "Your mama" DAMN!! FOR REAL? WOW (I didn't think that clip was real ngl-) ah yes ofc he escaped he had plot armor my bad. Oh they're gonna drop Casey in the infinite water swirl. YOOO let's go Mikey!! Yippee the day is saved once more! Lmfao they really don't like when casey visits. I'm confused. I know this other ninja guy is most probably the shredder but who is his enemy is this? Does he work with the krang or like?? Maybe just a case of them connecting the wrong dots ig. Now who the fuck are the three monotone council members o(-(

Ooh boy fallen angel. Quite the title. Geez what did Casey get into now- hm I feel like fleeing the city would solve several problems but is a completely overlooked solution /hj man they look so goofy is normal clothes. Skivvies? What is that supposed to mean Raphael 🧐 I'm starting to think big guy isn't even human- nahh I think a wee bit of murder here would in fact be justified.

Ah yes vehicular manslaughter for this episode /j omg they've befriended the homeless and they are so sweet what the heck :(((( I'm crying /pos (no bc this is actually how it'd play out realistically. Outcasts stick together and I'm just- it says so much about our society but it's just a silly turtle show:( no wonder it attracted so many queer/trans folk with rise) don't you laugh at that sweet old man>:( help him get his friends back. Just got a very blunt lesson on capitalism. Based. Oh shit and now we are getting into slave labor. Uh- this episode is really touching up on reality huh. Oh god who the hell is this ugly dude gross. Please make him stop talking. What a veil thing. Yes good fall to your doom. NO WHY SAVE HIM? HES A HORRIBLE PERSON

Wait do they actually have tails? Mikey don't lie to me like this o(-( I wish with the design overhauls in rise they would have gotten tails. I know like it's easier to not animate them though so. I guess I can't complain too much. Oh the swords are important you say? Bad choice to say that out loud you're definitely going to lose them now. For plot ofc. And character development. NO YOU IDIOT DONT GO ANYWHERE ALONE. someone wack him with some rolled up newspaper and tell him you're proud of him please. Not funny-haha, funny weird. -Mikey, probably. I need tone tags on this guy /hj. Is he pulling my leg rn? What are you going against? No way he's not the shredder with the foot clan. Dude is definitely lying. Leo needs to leave. No don't accept the sword. No way it's real. Sincerity my ass o(-( dude. Council? Of krang right? God this show- so I'm assuming the krang and the foot doesn't like each other then? At least it's not mutual at least. Oh geez leo throw your brother off the building why don't you- Okay yes he is the shredder then. Ninja rat moment! Gotta throw in the tragic backstory. Bro got straight electrocuted to death /hsrs. Dang. Poor rat man. Wow Leo really did get played. L. Oooo fight scene in the storm! Come on give this big doofus another scar. God these council people are weird. Oop- here comes the shredder.

Oh okay so Hun is that dudes real name- I'm just dumb-

[a break in the rambles. Notes? Idk. This is gonna be extremely long huh- barely even through the first season and it's already an essay. Maybe I should tone it down a bit. I mean surely tumblr has a character limit]

"Whats the one thing I told them not to do? Face the shredder. Surely that's what they're doing then" (paraphrased) ofc. Like most rebellious children lmao. (My siblings for example lmao) welp they just broke into someone's apartment- lmao that poor kid. Raph is going to kill Mikey for that one if the foot doesn't first lmfao. Noo you can't leave the old (rat) man to figure out technology come on donnie. Bro is that the sword light saber thing from the mando? Wait so are they allies with the potentially the krang guys now? Master splinter had the look tm. Hmmmm I feel like the shredder will somehow survive that. Yep. He'll be back. L.

Bro there's super heros in this too- they'd accept super heros but not our favorite turtle bros? Not very cool new york. Don't make fun of his art :( damn poor mikey. Yes! April support!! Oh no who's this guy. THE MAGIC SCHOOL BUS? Oh. Super hero. Lmao in their faces.

"Meep"

There is literally so much lore in this series holy cow

I saw something something "kirby" on screen and damn near exploded. They are nothing alike at all. But man does my brain like to play me like a fool. Man this series was written by a bunch of crystal girls (/neu) oh my god donnie took kirby (the tmnt version) to dreamland /j holy shit kirby fucking died (please know my main coping mechanism is humor) (it's actually kinda sweet to think he's in a land of his imagination!)

[Okay this is so much longer than what my rise one was already omg- I should just close tumblr and give it a rest lmao. Honestly if Casey and Raph first interactions didn't seem so enemies to lovers this would have never happen /hj]

"Of the four of us leo is the one turtle you never have to worry about" *cut to leo fighting like 20 dudes by himself in the rain* Whats with Leo and getting thrown off buildings??

No it's not a great loss they're not dead just like walk through the fire and save them or something o(-( m a n

Wow calling the next one tales of Leo makes it sounds like he's actually dead damn- omg we get turtle tots in this one too this is amazing. The sillies<3 Raph. Buddy. Goofball. ITS OKAY TO SHOW EMOTION (that isn't just anger) COME ON

I was gonna say we need more light hearted goofy episodes like monster hunter but was completely cut off from, and I quote, "Someone once said, "The only difference between men and boys is there size of their toys." " and I am literally jaw dropped to the floor bc I did not take that line well- I am fighting demons rn (trying not to laugh in the middle of the night) I am so thrown off by that line-

Bro why did Leo call Baxter Stockmen a fruitcake💀 I'm sorry- did he just cut shredders head clean off??😭 sorry shredder but there's absolutely no coming back from that one lmao. EXCUSE ME?? well damn I guess there IS coming back from that one. So, not human?

If it weren't for like ninja honor and morals and all that Raph would 100% have these goons dead. Raph goes blind (real) Raph making friends with literally every "hothead" he meets in alley ways (part 2)

Oh these guys are absolutely wack job krang. EWWW NO THEY ARE KRANG D: oh man the boys are in trouble now. Just like give them their dad back and we can allll go home. Why is splinter in the orange juice. They really have no reason to fight. Like. Listen, crazy idea now. Just communicate. OMG THEYRE FUCKING GONE. THEY'VE BEEN DISINTEGRATED.

Okay wowza that's only season 1. 6 more seasons to go- this is going to be one wild ride huh. This show really knows how to keep ya on your feet. All this is doing though is making me wish we got more Rise o(-( how come this wack iterations (/pos) got so many episodes, but rottmnt barely got 2 seasons and a movie?

Starting season 2 same day ofc. I have to binge this show as quickly as humanly possible /hj perhaps I'll try to write less, maybe I'll write even more who knows. Eventually I'm sure I'll hit some sort of limit. This singular post is about to be more words than any fanfic I've ever wrote lmao.

Bros just got reconstructed in space. Mmm the star wars tmnt crossover all us nerds wanted. The guys are always getting into so much trouble 😭 I like how Mikey is more worried about how the colors of the dress clash with his bandana more than the fact its a dress. Based and real. Oh god the blue dude is hitting on Mikey o(-( yeah yeah kick his ass! Oh noo don't get caught. :0 It's chewy but blue! Girlboss Mikey!! Girlboss Mikey!! "You go girl!" Bro I'm dead lmfao. Finally they all have,, GUNS

"The big house" oh man they're going to jail. Oh wow yeah they're in jail. And now they are going to bust out of jail. Wonderful. Damn it Raph. Well dang guess spoons are a weapon. Welp off to the games they go then. Oh boy they've taken a hostage of a dictator. THE ROBOT IS GOING TO KILL HIMSELF?? Okay no he doesn't die (yet?. Hopefully not) Wow they all have horrible aim. It is truly bizarre all the shit the turtle bros get themselves into to. (How many times am I gonna have to say that before I can have a silly goofy episode o(-( ) Also can I say those tube things they have in their mouth for oxygen make no sense- like I can understand how that would actually work properly- I can only imagine it was just the easiest solution (to draw) They look so silly in the space suits /pos. Just makes me wish they would have been given tails in the rise redesign hauls </3 Oop the krang is bringing them back it seems. HOW MANY PARTS ARE IN THIS ONE?? ITS LIKE A WHOLE MOVIE AT THIS POINT LOL. Okay well it's to be continued, but this one is a different part 1, 2, ect. Oooo and now the new yorkers are suspicious. SPLINTS!! HES BACK!! YIPPEE. Ooo wait what they're buddies? Utroms. So um. Not krang? But like. Sorta similar? Do the krang and utroms have like a civil war or something I'm so confused o(-( Oh. My. God. Baxter is a fucking spider. I agree with Mikey I would not go in the pod. Okay okay. So this criminal utrom is gonna be the krang then, right? OMG THE SHREDDER IS THE EVIL UTROM DUDE. BRO. NOW IT ALL MAKES SENSE. BAXTER YOU MOTHER FUCKER. WHY CANT YOU JUST DIE ALREADY. I genuinely can but believe there's 7 seasons. Like. What on earth (or within the rest of the universe for that matter-) could they possible get into after this?? The shredder is literally a roach, how does he keep coming back o(-( at least stockmen is free from his control? Even know he has like just a head left- YIPPEE!! THE BOYS ARE GOING HOME!!

Splinter I have like 27 IQ what's with all the riddles. It's so odd seeing them without their bandana on lol. Raph you don't have to be a jerk all the time smh smh. Leo just happens to be better than all of you half of the time. No big deal- (kinda feel bad for raph and mikey. Mikey mostly. It feels like they don't have anything special:( I mean hell donnie is extremely smart, he's probably the most special. But leo has that edge in combat) Yep family B) *distant punches and screaming*

Oh boy quite the intro. Leo just dies. Right off the bat. /j what. Why does he seek leo o(-( icecream!! Raph seems to like mint chocolate chip! Win! Oh right this guy. Wonder what his deal is- DITTO!! Huh- this is so dumb >:( agreed very over dramatic. Also didn't shredder kinda like,, defeat himself. It was his bomb thing after all. Omg did this dude just portal away in his cape. Metaknight?? Is that you?? /s literally stole mks moves smh. Haha take the L random ninja dude. Now he's the real greatest warrior in the galaxy. Wow this episode is so random lmao I love it. Can the time be right like now- I'm so confused o(-(

The little intro things are so silly. They're like interviews at the beginning. No Casey it's not a date or anything at all nooooo. (I wish it wasn't a date smh get your romance out of my goofy ninja turtles show) dude I kinda feel bad for this robot kid thing. If only the nanobots ended up in better hands. LMAO "and when will you have her home young man?" AS IF YOU ALL ARENT FRIENDS IM CRACKLING. Thank you donnie finally someone wants to help it. NO NO KISSING>:( GO BACK TO BEING SILLY AND GOOFY

Yes you are absolutely always getting into wack ass situation Mikey great observation. Finally someone said it. Noo Mikey is about to be eaten by a giant gator- bros just trying to live and they're messing with him lmao. HUH? Are those like magic glasses o(-( oh no he just talks normally. Just a normal everyday fellow mutant. Swear to God if he's working on a new body suit for shredder- who *somehow* is still alive. SEE RISE RAPH COULD HAVE BEEN SO MUCH COOLER WITH A BIG TAIL. YO cool he's a mutant dude too. Wait was he there when the building exploded and all that? Yes. You the one it just scanned fight it first. YEAH GATOR GUY KICK HIS ASS!! Bro,, :( thats so sad what the hell.

This show was absolutely written by a bunch of crystal girls. (/neu (I have a bunch of crystals myself lol)) These guys are insane. Where do they get the funds for all this stuff anyways- damn right you're proud of him. Dude is insane intelligent-

Ooo starting this one with a song huh. The foot? And the wacky tie guy? Oh shit right it's the gang wars episode isn't it- TURF WAR (my brain is impeccably small) [splatoon reference]

Ya know I wonder if these sorts of shows have like idk psychological affects on kids? Like do they leave any sort of impression on them? Are kids who watch these "crime fighting or hero" shows more likely to be "good-do'ers" and have better morals bc they are given an example of the hero and see how the bad guys always lose, have bad endings, and inflict so much pain (and property damage lol). Are these kids more likely to take up jobs like police officers? What even makes a person want to be a cop anyways lol. Idk. Food for thought I guess. All coherent thoughts must go to the mega-post after all.

BAXTER? IS BACK?? AGAIN??? I shouldn't even be surprised anymore.

Honking

Have I mentioned how much I envy their voices sometimes. Bc damn o(-( it's just occasional lines. Here and there. Lmao transmasc things ig.

Bro. Raph. Leo. Stop fighting you dingdongs. Ofc Hun is back. BROS GOING TO BLOW. Karai? Haven't I heard that name before. YOU CANT JUST COME IN HERE AND KILL OFF LEO LIKE THAT LADY. genuinely how do they make this last 7 whole seasons lol

Why are those two dudes like super yellow- I can only imagine this is sorta racist..

I'm sorry is that the shredder?? Broooo. Oh- yeah yeah that makes sense. That's what I was thinking lmao. This is just- dude o(-( would have been cooler if the plan worked. RAPH!! SPLINTER!!!!! God damn it he is actually back. Where is your honor!?

I'm so sorry, Baxter? Uhh that's a bit too far now. Please just kill him off. This is getting ridiculous 💀

Woah the plot twists in this one is crazy fr ZOG NO!! he killed a man in cold blood,, the turtles would have been toast without you Zog. Rip <//3

Uhh I think I skipped one but WOAH TINY ROBOTS ROBBING THE COMIC STORE! They've got the tiny guy. Ofc Don is tracking the old men lmao. Plot twist, the two super heros had,,,, SEX. Win day for Mikey tho let's goooooo.

THE BATTLE NEXUS USED TO BE HONORABLE? Wow splinter is even more of a nut than the boys. BUNNY BOY??? REAL?? I remember absolutely nothing anyone told me about usagi? (I forgor his name) aww splints:( the boys are all grown up. Uh oh. Traximus sounds so close to Draximus which is my dogs name lmao. BUNNY BOY-O IS BACK OMG. omg he's so dumb looking lol. Ooo toffas! The shredder?? Well his helmet anyways. So uh. When do they kiss? (Joke) wait what if splinter and like leo both make it to the very top? Do they just fight each other? Aww donnie:( poor dude he will never live this down lmao. Woah the ninja dude is just as bad as the shredder. L. This guy is so lame. Kill him off! LMAO ofc. Quite the match ups. Mikey sorry you're out lol. Aw splinter you're so cool. Okay that makes more sense tbh- dude is about to get clapped by his son. (Uh killed that is) Oh? Kinda surprised Raph won that. Okay. Ohhh noo. I am so normal about this show (lie) Okay I'm not quite down with this one but I don't see how the ship stands as of now- unless the fandom is literally just clinging on anything we can get lol [boy this is making me what to do a video essay just rambling about this show. Just overall. And some of its themes and topics it discusses. I have my gripes, but I'm overjoyed to watch it still] anywaysss. Uh oh leo! Donnie to the rescue! (Wrong target tho don!) You stupid red haired jerk. Welp big powerful dude is dead. Oop. Wait until raph and mikey finds out what happened. YOU SCUM DONT FRAME THE RAT >:( Usagi the doctor bunny! Mikey! Stop running your mouth! Eep! You red haired mf>:((( stop>:(( ofccc it's the dragon. Uh oh. Uh oh. They don't even get to see what happened to Leo. Lmfao now it's raph and mikey that's hilarious. Oh my God mikey being annoying is a genuine strategy lmfao. This is hilarious. Crackling rn. Raph that's absolutely stupid?! Let's go!!! (Love this trax guy) uh hating this stupid shadow creatures tho. Yippee! Donnie and Usagi saving the day! I can certainly see why everyone loves Usagi. He's such a little critter /pos /aff. Brave Usagi!! Yippee!! NO DONT SKEWER THE RABBIT. Oooo leo! Mikey for the win!! It would absolutely be the most funny outcome. Yeah good! The staff should fight back! Too bad it didn't fight back hard enough. Oh boy a dimensional rift huh? Is kirby coming to eat a car? (Sorry) ((lie)) bye bye red losers! Fall to your own evil plans. WOOOOOOO LETS GO MIKEY!! That's it with Usagi? A bit surprised. The sillies<3 once again mikey is technically the most powerful lol. No- not the dinos coming to invade earth- God that was a long one. See ya in the next!

Hm perhaps it is in fact the end of the world. Donnie D: looks like we're going back to space boys

Raise the stacks? Who is this guy? Wait I thought the justice league knock offs were all old and stuff. This show is so confusing o(-( oh boy they're bringing out the nukes. Oh- do they actually survive nukes? Yes ofc they do. I agree with Mikey. Hand over my happy ending. Damn poor donnie- BRO JUST NINJA-ED HIS WAY OUT OF THAT?? Wow this is going to kill the economy fr. Come on donnie your brothers can totally kick ass (plus they're like not even on earth rn-) oh god they're gonna get shot. Yippee!! Another rebellion dude! Double ship theft. Poor mikey. He just wants credit for all their hard work lol. Did he- did he just come back to earth?- this little bot is a funny guy. Uh oh I think that's the other space nerds isn't is? The,, government? Makes sense. Raphy is such a cute nickname. It's hilarious how he's the one with that kind of nickname since he's the 'hothead' ughhh the American government is here. Leave the space stuff to the mutants please. Oh they're just goons o(-( Uh nvm government? No it is the military? I'm so confused. Why do they have laser guns. Yeah Don that's what I'm saying. Heyyy splints time to go. Yes take them with you and go. Now we fight the US military. WHO IS THIS FREAKY GUY???? ew stop. Bishop. Yeah. More like bitch hop out of here right now. Stop speaking like that. I hate this show. Where is the justice. Well hopefully honeycutt actually like wiped his memory or whatever. This is why you can't trust the government kids. No leatherhead D: stuck in a drawer.. gross. Holy shit I hate this bishop guy. Yall better hurry before they look their DNA and shit (and their lives-) GO SPLINTER JUST LIKE KILL SOMEONE FOR ONCE. (sure it goes against the ninja honor whatever but this guy deserves it!!) HE IS ONE SCUM BAG MAN WHY THE HELL IS HE WINNING??????? Hate this. Someone give raph a gun and permission to kill. Oh boy he IS the system. Rare good side win. Still hate bishop an insane amount. Let's keep in mind these guys are like what 16? The trauma is off the charts o(-( another honorable hero lost o7. This show is so wacky and weird. At least they won? I mean obviously some things are foreshadowed but things are still so unpredictable- I wonder what trouble the boys will get into next. I mean bitch bishop will be back, so will the shredder and the foot. And I guess baxter is to some degree alive??

Oh god who's this guy. A true ultimate power bump? I suppose? Raph this is why we don't cheat in racing. He's a good guy you goons o(-( yay! Old lady to the rescue! Finally a cat that likes Raph. Rise!raph wishes. Um? The train can't really get them right? Plot armor and ninja quickness and all- If anything happens to this old lady I'm coming after everyone myself. Ah yes thinking. A brave new world for mikey. Awww he gave the money to the old lady:D yippee!! Literally the best part of the whole show calling it now. Finding out one of them isn't dead? Cool. Helping this wonderful old lady? Absolutely awesome! I hope raph gets another tea party with her honestly-

And this episode, trauma response, nightmares! Poor LH:( oo the evil turtles are scary. Oh no. Mikey is out- aw:( dudes got landmines fr. I love how they look after each other and joke around <3 the sillies <3 okay back to the saddness- what the fuck why is everyone in this place absolutely wackjobs with no heart and morals??? o(-( YAY!! Can't handle another sacrifice. :) family

Oh boy this one is titled hate. Can only wonder what this is about. They always get into the wackiest situations- lmao never alone april and casey. Bro I thought that was Casey and he got shot- damn- lmfao bro got pants. LMAO I have a solution hate crimers to kick the aliens out of New York we are gonna,,,BLOW UP THE ENTIREY OF NEW YORK. Quite the plan. Uh oh mommy's home casey. Aw Ma likes April. Lmao she found about splinter and the turtles too that's amazing. Ma is another character we must protect at all costs.

BATMAN? nobody?? Huh. Mikey be like mom said it's my turn with the video games >:( lmao. Dudes covered in true black paint lmao. Wow they touch and go guys are back. L. Broooo why are there so many villains in New York. What does the rest of the world do? Do they have villains? Who fights there weird crimes? Villains across the globe be like. Ya know what'd be cool? If we went to new york permanently. Hell yeah he's a someone now. I think Hun is gonna be fired lmao. I think a certain group of everyone's favorite green boys accidently pulled an all nighter lmao.

Uh guys maybe you shouldn't leave casey out at night. MORE TURTLE TOTS!! omg they're so cute. Young casey? Why doesn't anyone remember this? They're so silly. Lmfao they are horrible liars. They're so adorable. They're so goofy omg. This is so silly that's why casey scream goongala or whatever all the time- lmfao theyre all confusing him. It seems like leo and donnie were the first to take any sort of training to heart. They are all still horrible liars tho lmao. Busted~ oh well I guess casey was just sorta a natural in street fighting-

Ooo Christmas episode? Please tell me mikey gets to keep the cat pleaseeee (I'm sure he'll like give em to the kids or something but man it would have been nice) how does clunk say in his coat through all that- oo raph? I didn't think he was the type to be into interfering with people's romantic relationships (trying to make casey and april kiss with mistletoe lmao) I guess it makes sense. Cj and him are the closest. USAGI!!!! what did he say o(-( aww they got swords for each other lmao. I wonder if he will actually use it. Lmao L casey. I too love cookies. Aw:( where's mikey? Just in hot pursuit with the cops no big deal. He's literally causing more harm than good o(-( lmao beautiful. PLEASE LET HIM KEEP THE CAT. Aww. rat santa. Wait does this mean he keeps the cat?????:D

Did she just break his neck- dude stop fighting each other lmao. I wonder who keeps calling donnie? This is the second time now. Dang did they actually train the foot clan this round? Bro:/ stop hitting on the foot lady. B o o m. Karai? Good. That's right. Eventually she'll be on the good side. Confused,, always.

Excuse me. Did master splinter just fucking die as the intro o(-( THE CAT IS HERE!! uh oh. What. Why does Don just know Italian lol. Welp time to fight the dead. Okay so this isn't real. I wonder what this all means? What they fear most? IVE SEEN THIS CLIP WITH RAPH AS SHREDDER BEFORE? HUH? WHAT DOES THIS MEAN. IM SO CONFUSED HELP. Hmm so Leo's is about not like being independent enough? A good enough leader to not need help. A good enough ninja to not get his own father killed for coming to his aid. He fears being a disappointment and a failure. Oh o(-( Uh. Donnies? Maybe afraid of losing those he's meant to protect ig? Having people not listen to his own orders and paying the price.? I'm not really sure on that one. It's a bit confusing and probably could be interpreted more than the others. Mikeys seems tied back to that one deal leo almost made with the shredder. But also a fear with losing his brothers in whole. Raph is clearly afraid of hurting those he loves whether it's directly or indirectly. Probably due to his consistent rash course of action. Those are just my quick theories though! I did drop out of psychology after all lol. What happened to the staff? Ah there it is. What would leo even do with all kinds of power anyways lol. Oh my that must be spooky to watch- oh. Welllll guess it's not dead:/

Oop new guy is finally killing off baxter. Ohh the calls were from her. Damn he doesn't get squashed. Or the calls are from honeycutt. I'm not paying attention enough lmao. Omg they've been shoved into a crate haven't they? Rude. Can't just drop them like that. Let's go professor!! Welp wrong direction oh well at least it's not in the air. Kinda feel bad for karai.

Wow that's a lot of lore. Just out of basically no where lmao. Woah these filler episodes are getting out of hand- bizarre.

Okay. And I thought last episode was crazy. Dude just tried to attack time. Okay,, so that all happened. Wack. How do you think they tell these to splinter? Do..they even tell him? Is it worth trying to explain-

Bro can't bishop just die please. Poor raph is bike is gone. Surely baxter doesn't make it out of this one.

Bro donnie just appeared- oh wow. He's back. They are back? Ohh wait so they do actually tell splinter of all the shenanigans they get into lol. Or some of them at least. Omg so I guess that one time when donnie said during the second nanobots episode that if splinter were evil they would also likely be evil. I guess he was wrong. At least in this universe. The turtles are always the good guys. Omg that's absolutely hilarious mikey really knows how to leave his mark huh?

Good morning all beings and forms huh? I think that one. Wayy better than ladies and gentlemen.

Okay I was gonna comment on raphs more (speaking of the other two, I wonder what these mean? The others so far seemed less harmless than this one, if anything they were enjoyable (sure mikey had to save the world but he loves superheros so) I can only assume donnie will be saving this world, or trying to anyways, or teach someone(s) a valuable lesson (like raph did) I'm just confused as to what part of this could be possibly enjoyable for donnie. I've actually heard a good overview of this episode. Guess I'll actually have to watch the full thing before I come back huh lol. Oop- it's crazy to think in a similar reality they would split up. You would think leo would stay, but it makes senses it's actually mikey. Oh- hes dead. Holy moly they've merged. It kinda makes sense after all that hun and baxter would form a (probably forced) alliance and join the rebellion. Oh. Nvm. They still hate each other lol. Damn donnie better watch his back now- oh my they look worst for wear too. Oop straight to the room it seems. Damn he's huge. Finally! April has a gun! Oh- guess hun is a goner- Mikey? MIKEYYY. AIM FOR THE HEAD DAMN IT. How does leo fight so well blind? Oh damb there goes leo- holy shit this uh doesn't end well does it. Uh? Are they not really dead then? Um. Yay! They did it? Guess he saved this world. Woah. Quite the episode. I wonder why his was so,, bad? He too saved people and taught a lesson. It'll be interesting to see Leo's now.

So leo goes to usagi land it seems (idk where that dudes from sorry-) oh wait so we don't see Leo's part in that one? Just usagi somehow contacting leo and taking him to the battle nexus area. Okay still going with this plot line. Very confused. Oh- what-? Is this for real? o(-( it's so funny to think so one realizes they're ya know green and such when they have clothes on. Uh oh- this isn't good. Why even is Usagi so like loyal to Leo? Maybe it is just some honor thing and this is how a friendship would work. I mean Raph has Casey. Oh dang so he gets all of them at once. Crazy. I guess he would have the most focus. Dang poor donnie- looks like they're a but more powerful than what they thought. Oop- quite the few episodes.

Icky sound I hate it. When can bishop just like idkkk pass away maybe? Please? Hate this guy. Wow he really does get around for an earthling. Uh maybe that's where he got the tech. Evolution? That thing is half robot. Aw he pushed mikey out of the way:( oh god he's ugly. Ew he just disappeared. Let's go honeycutt! Well there is 4 more seasons I'd say they do something right you freaky jerk. Dang conceded much? Can it truly be over with bishop. I really hate this dude. Oh- wish came true? Guess they really hung this guys career to dry then. I'm surely not complaining. Damn. I never win smh.

Oh? Interesting. Ooo he actually got a shot in? Wait isn't donnie and LH in the tunnels?? Oh dang. Brawling moment. How the hell is this bishop dude so good at combat. Huh? He didn't know? I would have thought he knew. Dumb blob. Looks like the end for you. Damn you karai stop being a dumbass. Oh shit donnie. Jump jump jump! Let's not forget this is only the half way point of all this-

Welp to space we go then. Oh god he's got an even uglier body. Does splinter like make it to the finale of all this? WHAT HELLO EXCUSE ME HUH DID THAT REALLY JUST HAPPEN IS LEO OKAY HE MAKES IT RIGHT SURELY THIS IS LIKE TOTALLY FINE RIGHT. Oh man. I am just. I'm gonna need to pace around the room. Wow Karai finally using your brain here. Leo? Man:( honor to the end huh. I just want to know how they actually survive all this. Bc if they do surely the shredder does too. YES UTROM!! THANK YOU. Too bad bishop didn't magically end up on the ship. Wish he would die too lol. Wow this dude has caused so much harm. Finally. Dude is gone. Too bad Karai. You could have stopped this yourself. Woah this is great. Rare turtles win:) really should have just totally killed that evil blob tho. Would have been easier and for the better- lol they're gonna need a new intro now.

Well shit they can just never catch a damn break- oh sweet yeah new intro. I guess shredder is really gone then? Who is this weirdo. Ofc wack job has a gun. Oh my God they've put Raph in the closet. Lmfao. That's perfect. Uh oh mikey. Hard to fight with no legs. Finally some good luck lol. Hell yeah you are all that and a bag of chips mikey B) lmfao. I need to see donnie with more winning one liners. Nightie night dragon boy bam! (I don't mention enough how much I love 03 donnie. Hes just a funky lil guy.) Lmfao the little doodle. I haven't been keeping proper track of my favorite episodes but I'd say this is one of them. S4E1. Let's go ninja April!! Raph you're such a butthead lmao. Aw that's cool. What would they do with a bunch of money anyways?

There's no such thing as boring around here mike. Omg I just noticed. Usagi is in Leo's little intro thing. Perhaps I can see where the fandom is coming from with these two. Damn. Leo:( omg casey you dork. Uh oh- can't even watch the stars around here smh smh. Woah raph stopping leo from hitting something? The universe has shifted lmao. Why so many flowers o(-( (does he stink? Eh probably) Dude just got picked up like bird food. Amazing burnt pancakes. The sub plot love story is really coming together. Dude mikeys legs will never heal at this rate- oop into the bubble you go weird crazy blue lady. What? Interesting gift ig? But a gift nonetheless?

Man leo:( always so hard on yourself. He's definitely got that leader syndrome. Uh fish lady? Oh more of those ancient people. "Where we could spawn" excuse me- how do they stay under water that long. Leo's shell :( I didn't notice the slice until now. Oh god I didn't know those things were called "dikes" it sounded like donnie was calling me a slur 😭 "Um, just a little guy in-" nope cut. Stop right there. You are in fact just a little guy. End of sentence /aff yeah idiot. The turtles are good do-ers! Lil fish people live!

Hm?. Leo going out without the bros. But bringing casey? This is a bit confusing. I agree with case he's definitely be eating out of raphs bowl a little too much. No one thinking for you blue one. What has gotten into him anyways:/ Leo's lost his mind. Was that the sound of bones breaking? I'm sorry has he actually gone nuts? Oh boy whats in the ice crate. Agreed what on (totally not) earth? Oh creepy demon thing. Why does the military have that beast anyways- damn I'd just leave if I were Leo. Looks like they've got their hands full anyway. Ew- oh. He's in two pieces. Leo actually goes insane (real) oh. That thing is a test subject ain't it. Oh god that's nasty. What is this show rated- they don't show much blood violence but uh body gore is in the table- do you think Leo's shell ever heals all the way? Ouch- Bishop you whore. Well damn looks like everyone knows the boys are back in town. Aw:( that's so sad dude. Everytime I see bishop I hate him even more.

Is that the clone thing guy? That the turtles took out? Yeah I'd say so. Mikey is so goofy /pos. That's a lot of rats- oh no mike- this ain't good. It's the damn rat king. How does this guy control the dang rats anyways o(-( the boys are going home with a million and a half diseases tonight- that whole building is going down. Leo stop trying to take things by yourself it's not going to redeem yourself. I agree with raph. Something has definitely gotten into leo. Oh my God that's so many rats. Gone to the rats. The like one million rats. Why didn't the rats eat him. I'm so confused. What does he even have to do with rats??

Oh boy mikeys gotta do a rematch. Huh? Are they training or actually fighting leo?? Oh okay training. Lmfao mikey. Aw even all the shit he talks about mikey he's still the first to jump in and save him. Sore loser much? LMFAO poor mikey. Okay so like really what's with leo. Doesn't he technically still have a match in the battle nexus? Sureee "play". Dude might actually kill mikey. Nope I think he is in fact talking about himself. Mikey o(-( you have to be serious. Damn- very VERY sore losers. Dude is speaking in key board smashes. Holy moly what a jerk. Mikey is going to have rights to gloat after this one. (So will leo honestly) LETS!! GO!! MIKEY!! Lmfaooo yeah they are never hearing the end of this. This is hilarious.

What just happened to splinter? What's with the water o(-( OH NO KLUNK! You are not about to tell me that poor little cat drowns:( no klunk:((( that was so uncalled for:( ew people. BISHOP YOU BASTARD YOU KILLED KLUNK. YOU WILL KNOW PAIN. yeah maybe a bit of a show off- DUDE- what the fuck is wrong with this damn bishop guy. Dude. Casey and April are basically dead without their plot armor. Shredder,,,,,, no way. He can't be real. This must be a trap. They've made mock robots before. Down to damn soup cans. This is not my silly little turtle show. Perhaps this is a vision. Oh wow he is good. The element ninja things? I've seen faint things about an early version of the mystic powers in 03. Is this how they get it? Klunk is okay:D Karai you bitch why are you like this.

Have I mentioned how much I absolutely hate bishop? That creep isn't fully human is he. No wonder bitch boy is so good at combat. Oh no that goop is not going to be good for the sewers.

Lmfao splinter. Read em and weep boys. Aw klunk. Raph is really rubbing off on Leo huh.

Uhhh idk where I left off here or if what I had saved. Uhh anyways! Yippee casey you actually used your thinking skills! Oh shit it sounds like hun broke raphs arm- uh oh. Have I mentioned how funny it is they replace cuss words with "shell" it's hilarious (to me). Lmfao donnie with the missiles! Casey. Remember what raph taught you. Your honor. Or what your dad said ig. Oh boy. Gotta have some wicked on the fly driving skills huh donnie- yes you are amateurs. You're like 16- damn leo is going off- aw he's gonna visit his dad:( wait did they just leave leo? Awww dude:(

Oh it's that nobody guy again? Oop- lmao poor mikey. Always getting slapped upside the head lol. Dude looks wack in the shadows lmao looks like xray might be in trouble- lmfao mikey in the dress again /pos. This isn't good for xray. Yeah everyone needs to packing! (But as transmasc reference) the gang shit in 03 goes insane fr o(-( it's so funny how absurd everyone's aim is. Let's go xray. Uh. Doesnt jencko still have a gun? Who let all these thugs have such high tech weapons- uh oh- he's nobody>:) success! Lmfao he's still in the dress. Ugh hun. Oh wait wasn't she supposed to go to jail?? Wonder what they're hiding in that statue. Karai can't you just like turn to the good side. Where's your honor? (Or morals for that matter-)

Halloween episode!! Shell yeah!! (Lol) I also love Halloween:D but uh for different reasons lmao. Ofc they ruin Halloween too- lmfao raph just stabs his pumpkin. Ofc donnie uses the laser. Uh oh werewolf. And a witch and uh pumpkin king? Uh- what if it wasn't a costume. How could he be so sure before he sliced at his face o(-( couldn't he have just paid for it? Like- agreed. Carmel apples are yummy. Lmfao. Looks like raph and mikey sorta get their way? Leo stop being such a downer smh. Aw:( that's so cute. Ooo-kay. Lol. So silly how they always managed to get involved in all this. Was the door too good for them o(-( ooo fun fact. Good pearl necklaces actually have knots between each bead to protect the pearls while wearing and in the case of a weak string snap very little pearls will fall off. So a good quality pearl necklaces should not snap and go everywhere like that:) little creepers. Aw don. How powerful are their kicks? Oh dudes made of stone. Yeah:) they are nice kids:) little nicer than what you'd like officer-

Wow good quote actually. Looks like we get more usagi! Excited to see what he does this time. Agreed. Leo is losing it. Geez mikey really laying it down hard huh? Saying it as it is- raph should totally train his temper lol. Miyamoto? Haven't I heard that name before? Lmfao. Why does he have shades on? Maybe they just can't handle the light of the city. Why is leo separate from the group:l bounty hunter? Why is everyone after leo- damn. You would think more people would be after mikey. Champ of the battle nexus and all. Damn how does bunny boy read him like an open book- time to trauma dump. Maybe this is why people think he's gay /lhj. Man rabbit got some trauma of his own. HA even got big guy scared. Usagi is not impressed lmao. Casey to save crazy rhino. Raphs gonna slap him for that lmao. Uh oh. Lmao they're just in the window. Oh no. Ooh Leo's got the look in his eyes fr. Leo o(-( oo little spin move there. God Leo stop being such a hard ass o(-( move on. Crazy. Even splinter sees Usagi has a special bond with Leo. Hope I get to see him in more future episodes. Aw damn mikey lost all his comics- guess he'll have to train now lmao.

Answers to what you fool o(-( damn Leo. Maybe you should listen to your family dingdong. And your closest friend. Raph:( Leonardo dude.. guess he's getting shipped off- man the bros looks so concerned for him. Lmfao they called him a poopy face ha- Yeah he is a bit cranky. Think about the proper response. See! Think dumbass! Crazy to think he goes off on his own like this. Wow this little dude is uh? Something else lol. Did this dude really train yoshi? I have a feeling that's the plot twist. Why does this guy fart so much lmao. This is gonna be some journey for leo huh? Oh? Interesting. Finally all that just to comes to terms with something- well now I can only wonder if Leo will be back in time for the next event in new york. By the looks of it he's got a few episodes away first.

Oh. Yikes- Guess they aren't taking too easy to that. TWO MONTHS?? HELLO? That's so long:( what does kumquat mean?- shredder? No no wait karai. Dumb bitch. Oh shit. What are you doing in my house? What are you doing in my house???? /ref. Ugh foot scum. It's Karai bc she's dumb and a jerk. God damn you Karai. How is this honorable? HMMM? Damn all their stuff is totally gone after this:( how could you>:( damn you. Oh damn oh damn oh damn. Man o(-( honestly they probably should have stuck together. How were they preped underwater too- that more kitty:( it's so adorable how much mikey cares for klunk<3 damn- a bit much don't you think?- I love klunk a normal amount (lie) drilling out of here- damn can just never catch a break. Wow. Woooowwww. Great honor KARAI you asshat. >:( why is everyone so mean- um- what- what the fuck- WHAT. you know what I'm honestly surprised that she let april go. Honestly.

KICK HER ASS LEO. Ughhhhh I want to scream and pace around the rooommmm. Poor guys man:( just let them live in peace. I want my happily ever after please- aw leo found them all:) ughh leo leoooo why couldn't you just make this a supply run:/ wow leo a lot more noble than what I could have been- personally she didn't deserve mercy. I can only hope she uses this last chance for good. Though I can only have my doubts. Aw a gift :) how sweet.

I knew it. Bitch shop is part alien tech. Which is why he's even good at fighting in the first place. Oh god- Yeah I honestly for the worst for donnie everytime something gets destroyed. He puts so much time and effort into his work. Poor guy:( ewww what is that. Nasty. Agreed I too hate bugs- vile. Ewww. I might skip this one- ew didn't think I'd be getting nightmare fuel from tmnt but here we are ig- and I thought the krang stuff in rise was bad. Ain't seen nothing yet huh- Bug bite?? That can not be good. Isn't that alien language? I bet bishop has no issue hacking into any computer,, oh? April's uncle huh. Wow these people are fantastic. Is this real- in my 2003 tmnt? Peace? I see. Ofc it was too good to be true. How did she just remember all that- gross the bugs are back.

If baxter wasn't so absolutely insane I'd almost feel bad for him. Something bad happens to his mom doesn't it. Gross- ewww his finger. Dude you're like melting rn and you go to revenge?? Dude is deranged. You can't let your traumas define you stockman. So uh who's maning the helicopter? Man. *almost* feel bad. I love how donnie just steals stuff from the enemy every few mission's lmfao. Love that guy.

Omg donnie is a dinosaur guy. Woah they look so goofy. Okay he's been "under the weather" a couple times now. Holy shit what is this foreshadowing- nothing good I'm sure and probably something to do with that bug bite. Lmao they got scared. Wha- even splinter is fed up with their bull shit lmfao. Saved by a sneeze lmao. Also imagine if mikey actually changed history with the potato chips- think we scared it off? Nope. Think something really horrible is coming now? Yep. DUDE. LMAO. poor bros literally can't catch a break. Wow donnie! You've saved humanity! Again! (Except your brothers didn't die this time) ((man same as it never was goes insane-)) what. They just. They're just gone for 3 whole months. Damn- lmfao. They just be wildin ig.

Oh? Yoshi seeking revenge? Not exactly the honorable thing to do. Mikey lmfao. Raphs in trouble with splinter lmao. Story time story time!! Gender? Doesn't matter. Can you kick ass? -raph, probably. Yoshi is a natural so it seems. I wonder what happens to his friend in this. Aw. They are brothers now. Aw she cared for the rats. Tang<3 oop. Why does love have to get in the way of good relationships. They take the girl don't they. Mortu! Guardians hm? They are so going to take up the position anyways- more jealousy between the boys. Not gonna be good- Wouldn't they kinda be sister and brothers tho? Uh. He doesn't actually kill her over this right- Wooooww. Okay. That's lame dude. Shredder is just everywhere. Dude. All this over a girl. L. I wonder how old the ancient one is. Wow splinter is a reminder of failure- odd name. Interesting. Oh? What's he doing? What is this thing? Things? Huh o(-( oh boy. Sounds like trouble is nothing else.

What. What happened to donnie? Donnie and that massive brain of his. Saving the whole world and shit. Where Don then- Is that donnie? wow casey actually cleans up? Ah he's still sick. Hopefully this isn't some sort of horrible plot point. Surely he'll be totally fine. Damn poor Casey and April. They wanted to go out lmao. Never a break in new york city. They really do relentlessly bully mikey lmao. Ew god no. Tmnt is not immune to some light body horror huh. Oh boy they in area 51 fr. Did they save stockmen? Oh- bad idea dude- go get the guys o(-( why does he look like that? Ooo I wonder if that's where they got the idea for rise raphs plastron. Damn now they gotta fix donnie. I knew this cold was so much more than just a cold. Lmfao guess mikey isn't the biggest fan of case. Leo's just like. For fuck sake. Lmao. Raph deserves an F word pass from nick. Damn:( Leatherhead is so sweet dude. Geez. What do they do now? Wow. Bishop I to am going to ram my foot so far up your ass for this.

Damn bro. I mean plot armor and all ofc they get him back. INVISIBLE FLOOR TILES? (DR/UT reference) I kinda thought this was gonna be a call from the boys. So uh. Who's this bastard? Karai why are you so annoying. It's funny to see area 51 talked about outside of that one 2019? 2020? 'Storming' of area 51 lol. Hell yeah "convince" this bitch. (I hate him with a passion). Wait did the cloaked thing have to do with the basement things from ancient one? At least see what the hell is wants first o(-( how do we know he will actually help donnie? Ughhhh. DONT YOU DARE. God I hate bishop. Man this has got to be rough for leo. And the rest of them ofc. They can't just leave donnie with these monsters:( bishop really is making a deal with the devil. He is so evil. Ofc he lied. What an asshole. They're busting in to foot hq (again) uh oh. The things they're about to do for donnie- I wish people cared about me to even a faction of that degree lmao. Oh? Did the element dudes send the message? God bishop is so fucking annoying. Raphs gonna have fun with this one. "Crud" please just let them say fuck. Lmao. Man can they really handle this alone? And without that one sword. Interesting. This whole thing is one big confusion. BOOM. What does it do? Fucking communicate maybe 💀 are the elite magic? Oh? Interesting. LMAO RAPH. Uh oh. This ain't good. Dude. Talk maybe? Tell him what it is even?? Say how horrible bishop is perhaps??? Ofc they fulfilled their side. Anything for their brother. I hate this guy so much. At least explain what it does. Let's fucking go leatherhead!! Brilliant!! What a fantastic character LH is. Totally not much trouble at all. Certainly. If it were not for LH and donnie getting mutated (again) none of that containing the outbreak would have been possible. Wait? So what did that do then? Set the elements free? Yeah. Welp they're smart I'll give them that. Omg they're gonna bring that blob back?? Oh shitttt.

Magic tree man? Self healing magic tree man? With honor?? Uh? Maybe? "You tried to eat my leg" lmfao mikey is so offended by that. Even with all the angsty chaos I'm glad there's still lots of humor in this show. (Probably the only thing that keeps me coming back lmao. I couldn't handle pure angst. 2003 mikey I'm convinced absolutely enjoys wearing dresses. Or at the least flowy clothing. OOP- raph just tackles him off the building- ooo. It's interesting what they are able to build (and then build again-) down under new york. Oh? Ancient one? Again? What has begun again? Aww. They are brothers your honor. Oop. Doesn't feel too good anymore. Hm. Lmao mikey is just goofing off. It's hilarious how they play back. I can only assume these are those elemental guys? I wonder why they're doing this? Did they just want to beat them up? Oh? Where are they gonna take them? Interesting? Sounds a little odd too pin them against each other though if you need warriors you would think you'd want them all alive. Aw. We love good dad splinter. So confused. Hm. Where are these other four from then? I am beyond confused. OOOO WAIT will the brothers get their mystic powers (or 03s equivalent anyways) through this? Why does splinter need to save them? What do they know that the bros don't? Why is this show so bat shit crazy and confusing o(-(

One more season down. Honestly. I'm not sure what my favorite episodes are. I certainly like some more than others though. And I definitely and not looking forward to this being all over.

Oh I see. So they've gotten like save the entire universe again I see. Honestly I'd say, even as weird as they are, they're like the utroms and possible on the good side. Wait why exactly do they look like the shredder then? Or how would the shredder know of them then? Where's the fifth? Looks like there should be a fifth? And the underside down foot symbol? OMG DONNIE you nerd /affectionate. I can definitely see some reference taken from here for rise. This show wildin. Fr. They really just go head first into any fight huh. Bro joi is gone- Um. Okay. Um. Uh.. alrighty then! Wow this show is a lot!

Starting to look like being a skilled ninja is not all that cool anymore lmao. Donnie is a man of science and does not understand this dude lmao. Damn it mikey o(-( "oops" DUDE this show omg. Anri for raph. Inazuma for Mikey. Byakko for donnie. Banrai for raph actually? Wait what happened to Leo's? Wait what about leo D: mike. I swear. BRO IS A FUCKING BEYBLADE?! Don is a tornado. So Leo can just use others weapons? Orrr not- My oh my does this just like. Wow.

I am blinking rapidly. Alright so saki was a good guy at one point? Is this the like same blob we are talking about here?? Wow. Well. I think this is enough confusion for one night I'll pick this back up in the morning. I viewed the thumbnails for the upcoming seasons. It seems season 7 sees an art style change? And we are left on a cliff hanger. I'm honestly not sure if it's worth continuing. So the odd look humans are now god like fantastic. Wait he just becomes a dragon? How does he recover from this to go to new york?- dragon fight! (I- I guess) so I'm guessing the boys will have to learn to form laser beams out of their hands too.

So are we gonna ever get am explanation as to why Leo never got his weapon? Come on raph I've seen you become a beyblade you've got this. It makes sense how donnie got it so easily but Leo? Not getting it? Aw they really needed that support. Damn. Poor splinter:( aw donnie is just talking about his projects back home. Mikey is just sonic now. I wonder what they all will become. Leo? Also a dragon! I knew it. This still doesn't explain why he doesn't get a weapon lmao. Woah. Just the projector image of Leo's dragon melts them- It seems they wanted them to take all the pieces. In all fairness it does seem kinda dumb to keep them all together.

Dude what happened to being immortal? And like. Shouldn't they have some form of communication to tell the others to stop? Devour of dreams? Sounds like a kirby boss. So the sword was meant for leo? This is so strange. Did he know he was going to die this whole time? What. How did that just happen? Damn. They really can't have shit huh?😭 the five gumbas lmao. So they just totally killed that quiet "immortal" guy. Why did they get the most annoying voices lmao. Bro :'0 dude. What the fuck man o(-( kinda lame how these all powerful ninjas were taken out so quickly. Oh? 03 leo has portal powers too? (Sorta)

I'm gonna be honest. Despite a few small things (and how hard leo is on himself) I absolutely adore the 03 gang. I'm disappointed it's all serious shit all the time though. Sure there's a bit of goofing around and such. But not at the same level I was under the impression I'd get. I suppose this is a different iteration. Some people actually prefer the silliness to stay very limited. I don't know. I guess litte mx. doesn't like violence should stay out of cartoons with lots of action hm?

Lmfao mikey was so ready for this day. God why don't they just say sparring or training or just like roaming around idk- I've read one too many fanfics to take "blowing off steam with _" seriously o(-( man last thing we need is nanobots in stockmens hands. See silly little episodes<3 limited fighting for their lives at least-

Ah. Terrifying. Karai? Right what is she doing here? Feels like a bit of a time skip- right a dream. I've always known Karai had good in her. See this is the kind of shit that happens when chaos wins the splatfest. Smh. Damn it Karai. Welp. Guess you die now. Damn well. Looks like saving donnie is the end of the world but him dying is also the apocalypse. Interesting. Don't. Don't mercy this thing. Don't. No. Ugh. She fell for it. Damn starting to hate this things more than bishop. How are they gonna banish the shredder again tho? After all of this is finished? If the ninja tribunal had to watch over his body forever won't they suffer the same fate? But how? Dude was dead o(-( how does that work?

[egg-emperor]

sorry can you tell that I've had enough and that this was kind of the last straw lol

first of all: what the actual fuck

second of all: this was my response that's long enough that I look insane in my YouTube comments but it's just normal for me here lol

The small moments of humanization for Eggman in previous games were so much lighter and more in character because they didn't try to apply things that were impossible for the type of character he is to feel or change to do so reasonably. So it feels jarring and forced in this game for them to suddenly play it up so much. This kind of stuff doesn't work for every kind of villain that exists and some of them should just be allowed to be evil, expected to be what they were created to be without wanting to change every single thing about them and make them into a different person, taking away all the things that are appealing about them as evil characters. Evil can be fun and entertaining and characters don't always need a good side.

You can believe we need more villains that are humanized to the point they're redeemed and aren't so bad and stuff but... I have absolutely no idea how people are thinking that this works for Eggman, I can't fathom it. The whole point is that he's a deeply selfish self centered egotist, which is exactly why he wants to take over the world. He shouldn't be expected to be able to care for others because his core important character trait is literally against the entire idea and that's why they didn't show that before now. They really tried to disregard the defining traits of his entire being to try to make this happen and I don't think this is a good thing.

Also we definitely shouldn't want to become Eggman and he's not the type of guy we should redeem. The guy that carelessly harms animals and the environment, manipulates and gaslights people into getting what he wants, is carless towards innocent people getting hurt and sometimes even tries to target them intentionally like when he tried to blow up Station Square in Adventure, tries to kill Sonic and friends who are children sometimes as young as 8 and saying it will be "[his] pleasure" to do so, enslaves other beings to force them to work for him and keeps them there by causing them pain and fear, mistreats his creations and other robots severely by yelling insults and hitting/destroying them, has no remorse or empathy for all the people he hurts in any way, terrorizes the world to try to get what he wants- a world where he rules and forces people to worship him with no sense of self and freedom ever again. I can go on and on. There are some characters that have gone so far that you cannot convince me that after all this time and all they've done, they'd very abruptly change in heart like that.

Eggman isn't a flat or boring villain just because he didn't have a good soft side and empathy and he doesn't need to be given one. Eggman isn't someone they should use for us to try to be inspired by and want to become, not every villain needs to be to be great characters. He's a monster but he can be funny and he does have feelings and passions but just not ones that involve caring for others. Humanizing a villain, fleshing them out, and making them feel real can be done without suddenly implying that this character can suddenly change in 5 mins after 30+ years. It's very poorly done and I can't understand how the English version's lazy cheap attempt at forcing a dynamic to try and get emotions out of people is actually working. But then I remember it's because people don't actually like real villains and want all of them to change. Sigh...

I'm so glad that this was toned down severely in Japanese and presented in a way that feels so much more like him and actually adds up with his behavior and actions in other games and actually considers and respects them, instead of forcing a huge drastic change of entire character at the end like they did in English.

[disaster-j]

Im honestly shocked by the not me gang dynamics. Like you’d probably assume since they want to change the world and serve whats write that would AT LEAST love each others as you know friends! But they don’t! They have what feels like a strict business relationship, like we’re just doing this together because we all kinda have the same goal. They dont give two shits about each other!

Whats even more confusing is the relationship between black and sean. Okay like we get it, black was basically a horrible person to everyone since literally all his friends and even his gf go on and on about what he did to them. But theres something extremely confusing about black and sean..

So bear with me.. blacks betrayal literally formed his relationship with sean. Sean cant trust black, doesnt believe he would do anything for him, or care about him. He found it absolutely insane that he did sth as small as give him water when they were gassed. Sean hates the fact that black had a very luxurious upbringing while hes gone through a kind of a rough childhood without a mother and with his dad being wrongly killed and growing up poor. So sean doesnt trust black, hates black for everything he is BUT WOULD THROW HIMSELF IN GLAZING FIRE TO SAVE HIS LIFE WHEN HE KNOWS SO GODDAMN WELL THAT BLACK WOULDNT EVEN THINK ABOUT DOING THE SAME FOR HIM? And then he got kinda jealous when gram was bandaging blacks wound? Why?!!! You hate his gut?? Why care that much when you know that black doesnt care about you? And he caught on black being weird VERY quickly with just how he flinched when sean tried to punch him outside his room. Literally took him 1 second? And then for the entire episode he literally cover for blacks ass and even took the lead for the mission

Now, we all know that black and sean dont like each other. Then why the fuck did black choose to do their last mission on tawi? It was mentioned in the last episode that he got to choose their last mission and planned it all. Then why tawi? Was that for sean? Why is he specifically targeting tawi? To go as far to plan to set his home on fire?

White aside, sean and blacks relationship is very confusing, i just dont get their dynamic!! Were they friends? Did sean kinda like black? What’s going

Anon this ask had me so confused I had to gather opinions on these topics bc I wasn't seeing what you're seeing; and the conclusion I've reached is that you're misreading the situation.

See, White is an unreliable narrator with really bad/biased info. The way he interprets the gang is not how they actually are. Additionally, Black has strained relationships with Sean and Yok so ofc their interactions are tainted by that mutual animosity. None of that means they don't care about each other bc they very much do. You don't get into this type of vigilantism unless you really care about people.

The group don't have a very traditional friendship, I agree, they're in separate departments and have very different schedules and individual responsibilities outside of the gang, so it's only natural we don't really see them hang out outside of the garage. But if you look at their interactions outside of the ones with "Black" you'll see that despite their agressive fronts they're all quite playful with each other. There's also the fact that both Sean and Black have a very cold and aloof front that they put up most of the time, which makes them seem a lot more uncaring. Also, Black is just selfish most of the time, he puts his own survival over others for the most part so ofc people around him aren't going to be all that nice to him.

As for Sean and Black's relationship, it probably seems so confusing bc you're trying to oversimplify a very complex and layered dynamic. I've talked about their dynamic a lot on here but let me go over it again so I can help you understand a bit better. Sean and Black present really interesting parallels within the narrative because they come from drastically different backgrounds but have ended up growing into two very similar people. They're both driven by righteous rage against the elite ruling class and have bonded over their need to take those people down. But their similarities also lead to conflict, bc they're both too angry, too stubborn, too petty to bend or compromise for the other. They both have a need for control which is another thing that causes friction between them. Black abandoning Sean on that first mission makes it impossible for Sean to ever trust Black. Sean's continued insistence that Black should have risked himself to help him likely enrages Black. They're destined to not get along. But that doesn't mean they're going to let their enmity get in the way of their cause. The mission is more important than their personal feelings for each other and, at the end of the day, their respective passion for their fight is what keeps them from denouncing their relationship all together. At the end of the day, they need each other if they want to make this work.

Their similarities and animosity also makes Sean best suited to see through White's act. White doesn't have Black's passion, his intensity, but most importantly he doesn't have Black's anger and hatred. He's used to his interactions with Black being charged with animosity, when he doesn't get that around White it confuses him. In their very first meeting, for example, he sees his frenemy trying to sneak into his room, clearly up to no good, and throws a punch. The normal Black would have responded in kind, White quivers in fear. Sean has never seen Black fear anything and so to see him fear Sean? Someone he could easily take in a fight, whom he constantly looks down on? That can't not have warning bells going off in his head. White goes around acting calm, non threatening, and even laughs and smiles around Sean. That cannot be normal for Black. So of course Sean notices he's acting weird and decides to keep an eye on him. Ofc he takes charge of the plan bc he doesn't trust Black to not fuck it up when he's acting so weird and goes after White and fixes every mess he sees him create because the mission is what matters the most. Like hell Sean would ever let Black ruin his shot at striking at Tawi.

Moving on to why Sean saved White, it's because he's a good person. I don't know why that would be confusing to anyone. The gang are all good people who are doing this to help others, none of them would ever let their actions hurt someone. Their personal feelings don't get in the way here at all. All three of them ran into that house, zero hesitation, to help White and Dan because they're good people who wouldn't stand around and watch someone get killed. It's just not who they are. No one should need to have romantic feelings for a person to save their life, but especially not characters who are the Good Guys within the narrative. If Sean's actions were driven by his feelings for Black that would go against what this show is trying to say- that it is our responsibility to care. Unconditionally. As for the scene where Sean cries, you're again trying to oversimplify the situation. Sean has just had a really bad day bc of White fucking up the mission, he's scared and angry and frustrated by the way the night has gone. And then Black, the one person who is supposed to be as passionate about their cause as he is, goes and shits all over what Sean and Co. saw as a very heroic act. I talked about this in detail here and a little more here so you can check those posts out if you want a more detailed explanation. The bottom line is, he cries not bc he's jealous but because he's frustrated and White just made him doubt his cause, the one thing that keeps him going. Sean has a need to be seen as good, someone like Black who already brings up so many negative emotions for Sean making him feel like he's a bad guy for doing what he did is bound to make him emotional.

Finally! The Tawi thing. That's one thing I agree brings up a lot of questions that none of us really have answers to. I think that Black also has some connection to Tawi and we're just not seeing it yet bc White doesn't know shit. Another possible explanation could be that Black chose that mission because he knew Sean wanted to do it and it was the best way to steal the lead from Sean. Because lbr Black is just enough of a petty asshole to do that. We will just have to wait for it to be explained in the show for now, since we don't have any real clues to figure it out right now.

[thestarseersystem]

Looking at that post that says they faked DID and I'm gonna say this as gently as possible that "not having an identity" and "fucked up memory" is having a dissociative disorder.

Let me break down this post. I am not reblogging, because I do not wish to antagonize op or argue with them. But I will talk about it here.

"Lack of identity". I'm going to be honest, when I was experiencing a very traumatizing time in my life, I felt very confused with myself and my identity, I felt like I had to repress myself just to survive. It's common to feel like you have no identity, or feel so dissociated from yourself that there's no concrete or "real" version of yourself. Many systems struggle with having no host or changing hosts, or a very dissociated sense of self. It's normal to feel this way when you have a dissociative disorder.

"Not being able to understand my own personality". I've felt this one forreal tbh. I have felt like my personality is too complicated or confusing and therefore it's just confusing to have a concise sense of self. I know myself sometimes and then I don't. Its common in systems to have a fragmented or confusing identity. Also I used to say I had like 5-10 different favourite colors, I would not be able to choose. And yeah the words to describe myself? Enigmatic, complex, extreme, intense, etc. Like I'd say I was both outspoken and reserved in the same sentence.

"Rapidly switching from aesthetic to aesthetic". I FELT THIS ONE. We *cannot* decide what to wear in the morning usually. We love all types of different aesthetics, ESPECIALLY the ones that involve a dual vibe like yamikawaii or pastel goth. We love dark fairycore, yamikawaii, pastel grunge, cybergoth, animecore, emocore, scenecore, lolita, everything. We love so many different aesthetics it's insane. I felt this so fucking hard you have no idea. Every alter has their own playlist/aesthetic, we just love them all.

"Need to seem special and traumatized". Bitch, I used to think I was insane. We have a goddamn insane asylum in our headspace and when we have a panic attack it makes us feel like we're crazy. We used to feel like we were going to pass out all the time because of dissociation. I was like "damn, why do I feel like I am going to pass out, I think I'm just doing it to be edgy and cool". NO. You just want to stop fucking fronting for now. Imagine thinking you were cursed because you struggled to maintain friendships and thought a memory eating monster was eating your memories away. I THOUGHT THAT.

"Not being able to settle on a name, yes, this includes usernames". YEAH SO UH... This is real experiences I've seen other systems have. I have a close friend who went by like 10 different names before being able to settle on one. And for many of our alters, they don't have names because it's too dissociating to settle on one. I think this is normal, mate.

"Actually, occasionally, feeling like I am a separate person." I just have nothing to say on this one because it's goddamn obvious that you have alters, what the fuck.

"Not knowing what I want to do in life". Why the fuck do you think I'm focusing on the past in my life? To distract from current reality, because the dissociation makes me feel so unmotivated. You should accept that you have more than one of you. Istg man. It would be so helpful if you just let yourself have multiple interests and feelings. It's okay.

"Insecure about how I look". Yeah, dysphoria is common. I have this so much, we have attributes on the inside and look different on the inside that it's sometimes so disorienting to look in the mirror. It can cause DPDR for us. But we try to use snapchat filters to help or make art or picrews that look like us. That helps.

"Messed up memory". That's the dissociative amnesia, my guy. I used to think that a memory eating monster ate my memories because the amnesia was so bad. Years of my life are gone because of trauma. Having gaps in your memory is literally dissociative amnesia.

"No social circle." I can't tell you how fucking hard it is to make friends when you feel disconnected from them and from reality. I constantly feel like they don't understand and I struggle to maintain friendships because of my conflicting opinions and lack of energy and fear. Its hard. I feel abandoned by everyone who leaves. It fucking sucks, man.

You have a dissociative disorder. I'm not fucking kidding, man. So many of our symptoms align and I know I'm a system. This isn't normal, this is what being a system is like. This isn't effects of faking, this is real symptoms of being a system.

It makes me frustrated and sad that people think that this is made up or a lie, that they somehow fucked it up, made it up. I swear to fucking god, this is reality for systems. Please get it out of your head that you made this shit up. This is how it is. Hear it from systems with real experiences. You are a real system, whether or not you believe it.

[asknarashikari]

I just finished the Senki Block which includes:

1)Saber Special Chapter:OT4 vibes this ep were great, quite large.

Then there's whatever the hell was happenning beteeen Touma and Zox.

My favorite bit:

"Have you gone insane?"

"Yes, we have"

Also Orihime!Touma x Hikoboshi!Kento.

2)Zenkaiger episode 20:the Shindais really mesh better with the Zenkaiger cast.

They work better as the Comically Serious rather than whatever the hell sorta roll they had in Saber since Ryoga's introduction.

Reika/Magine FTW.

3)SUPER HEROOOOOOOO SENNKIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!:It was a much better watch this time, because I downloaded it rather than watching on Kissasian, where it was uploaded with the audio of the aid for the blind version.

I did not enjoy that it ignored the Special Chapter and Zenkai Ep 20, acting like the Riders didn't meet Zox and the Shindais didn't meet the Zenkaigers.

Kento should have worked alongside Red Racer in the Final battle, to show he did interact with the Carrangers when he was sucked into their book.

Sayonara, Onodera Shotaro-Sensei.

May the Riders always look to you for Guidance.

It was good to see the Zenkaigers again.

I've missed them, so even if this was something from the past that I've already seen for them, it was nice.

I'll only see them next in DonBrothers VS Zenkaiger.

4)Kamen Rider Revice:The Movie(prologue):not a bad watch.

It helped me Believe that I would enjoy Revice once I'm done with Saber.

Now, Onward to the last 9 episodes of Saber!

1- Special Chapter was a hoot from start to finish. The shenanigans was sublime XD It was also some much needed comedy right before shit went down in the Saber main plot.

Also, Rintaro being Kento's inflatable cow...

KenTouma was probably the best part of the episode... or was it ShuichiRyo? Sometimes I can't tell anymore. One of them posted a video on Tiktok where they were in costume but not on set, and they were... uh, very affectionate.

There were also these videos on Toei's YT for the tie-in with Superhero Senki where the Saber cast were competing against each other in a laser tag-type game. Ryo Aoki captained one of the teams and when he named Shuichiro for his first pick, Shuichiro squealed and ran at him to glomp him. It was wonderfully gay of them.

2- Yeah, the Shindai sibs were definitely way better in the Zenkaiger crossover in their own show. Ken Shonozaki clearly had a lot fun playing off of the Zenkai cast's shenanigans, and Angela Mei's enthusiasm for Magine was self-evident.

3- Well, the Special Chapter and the Zenkaiger episode were always meant to be their own thing, not really tying into Senki. Most of the Spring crossover specials, back when they were a thing, were like that too- none of them really tied in to the Taisen films.

Yeah, it was a little disappointing that they didn't show what happened to Kento after he got sucked into the Carranger book... though that already had some other stories mixed in as well- Drive and Black, iirc. I'd like to think he was actually in that other world where he, Luna and Touma all grew up together, and where his dad was alive- which would explain his resistance to Touma returning things to the "normal" world. (Also, Ryo was so damned handsome in that sequence... I was simping the whole time)

Tbf, it also wasn't shown what happened to the other Zenkaigers aside from Kaito after they disappeared either. And Zox just shows up out of nowhere, lmao.

Honestly them including Ishinomori-senshu in this movie was kind of a brilliant move, and seeing his interactions with Touma and Hongou-san made me cry a little, ngl.

Also. Saber roll call scene. Fuck me, why don't they do this in Rider more often. It was amazing.

4- I didn't actually watch the Revice short movie, but from what I gathered it's not canon to the show because it and the first episode contradict each other in terms of how Ikki got his powers.

[shyrose57]

Brothers anon, sorry its been like 2 days since I last submitted something! I've been busy and whenever I finally had time to sit down and write this all its like 1 in the morning. I hope its still ok for me to send these.

🌹 anon ima respond to you first, your The Deal au could be the reason why and how Ranboos and Dreams soul got mixed and linked together. But then a problem is how did it pass to Ranbob? In my au, each person has their own soul basically. And while certain attributes like DNA can be passed through bloodlines, souls can't, as their unique to their person. 

What left Ranbob vulnerable to Dream is that he was seen as the star student. The apprentice everyone wanted. He always got perfect grades and was seen as the smartest in the City. This did not go well. As Ranbob was put under a ton of pressure to always stay perfect and get everything right. When his grades started to slip and his chosen mentor started to put even more work on him, his mentality started to suffer. With him losing sleep and starting to not care for himself or do the basic necessities like eating or drinking, all in an effort to be "perfect". Its through this need, and weakened state over all, Dream's presence was able to slip in and convince him to let him help.

Benjamin is 30, Isaac 29, Cletus is 24, and Charles is 27. 

When Ranbob first told Ran about the Dream mask and how he wasnt himself, Ran did not believe him at all. And kept saying that he needs to stop lying and fess up to what he did and pay for it. Others tried to convince him that his brother really wasn't in control of himself, but was met with strong skepticism, scoffs, and disbelief. With Ran not beliving that was the truth at all.

Watson was very shocked but quickly reorganized himself cause he had to calm Jackie, and its only after Jackie fell asleep he was like "Oh fuck. I really am the dad huh?" Jackie was embarrassed at first but after some prodding did say how he truly saw Watson as a dad figure in his life. And everyone had different reactions to Watson suddenly accepting and fitting into the dad role. Jackie was excited and immediately started calling him dad and asking him awkward dad questions "Dad whats puberty?" "Uhhh-" "Dad where do babies come from?" "Ask your dad about that!" "But you are my dad!" Ran seemed indifferent about it but Watson can tell he's revealed to have someone to talk too, and someone to go to if things get to much. Grievous keeps sating he doesn't need a dad but he's the one that goes to Watson the most for things like hugs, comfort, and advice. 

Jackie and Grievous do everything. They rig the battle field so if someone steps in a certain area water will shoot up into their face, Grievous usually taunts and distracts opponents so Jackie can sneak up behind them and just latch onto them and cover their eyes while giggling like a madman as the opponent screams and runs around trying to get him off. Jackie regularly pulls peoples seat out from under them, while Grievous scares them and makes them choke or drop something. But they do know peoples limits. Like for Ran, no water related pranks (there was an incident where Grievous spilled a whole bucket of water on him and Ran got severe burns and had to stay in the hospital ward for a few days), for Watson don't mess with his bow or arrows, he will stab you. And for eachother, Jackie, no pranks that leave him alone for extended periods of time or makes it seems like everyone is gone/left. For Grievous no pranks centered around food or drinks (like putting toothpaste in his sandwich or putting pepper in his beer). 

Ran and Jackie have a 50/50 win if that makes sense. They both win and lose pretty often. They play games like Spoons, Go Fish, Dart Throwing (Watson needs to be present for this one), something similar to Cards Against Humanity, Poker (everyone plays during this one), and Tic Tac Toe. 

Sometimes Jackie loves being the smallest and other times hates it. He hates it when Ran steals something of his and holds it above his head, he sometimes resorts to aggressively climbing Ran to get it but Ran tends to just pluck him off, and people make fun of him in a mean natured way (he's fine with light teasing). But he loves it when he rides Ran's shoulders or can duck under peoples legs and trip em. Because he's also small and fast he's hard to catch and that definitely comes in handy during fights. No ones particularly protective of eachother (excluding Ran who's protective of everyone), because they know none of them like being babied and they can all hold their own, though they will quickly flock to help eachother if they need it. Ran definitely flaunts it whenever their in a agurement. 

There is a area under the fighting arena of the pit where they stay. Theres separate rooms for everyone, training areas, dinning areas, and just chilling areas. Theres even extra rooms meant for often visiting friends (Like Genevieve) and some for storage of weapons which also holds things to sharpen them or get new ones. The Pit itself is in the middle of a gaint city, so there are tons of stores and food areas around. And because of a high salary the King gives them they go out quite often, often eating out and browsing stores when their not training or sleeping. 

If by other combinations you mean like Ran-Jackie, Ran-Grievous, Watson-Jackie, and Watson-Grievous then it highly varies. Watson and Jackie are by far the worst team, their styles just don't match and constantly but heads during battles. Watson and Grievous are probably the best out of the 4 teams because Grievous can be serious and works well with Watson as he's much more willing to change his fighting style to accommodate whats needed. Ran and Jackie are like Jackie and Grievous, but they aren't nearly as insane. Rather Ran provides distractions while fighting to give Jackie time to sneak up behind them. Ran also is the only one able to actually throw Jackie, which they sometimes do during battles. And Ran and Grievous work well together, but not as much as Watson and Grievous, its just a few things of both their styles don't match or could potentially cause problems.

He's clumsy flat out, he isn't used to having full control and needs to get used to certain things like walking or talking again. He is also severely dehydrated and malnutritished because Dream didn't care enough to drink or eat. He's also incredibly skittish and scared easily. He and Cletus's relationship isn't solved fast at all, it takes months and the work of everyone to get the two comfortable around eachother. They start by putting Cletus on watching duty, where he watches over Ranbob to make sure he's eating and drinking and resting while not tiring himself out. Then after a month or 2 Isaac, Benjamin, and Charles start purposely leaving the two in a room alone toghere to get them to talk stuff out. It takes 3 months until their comfortable enough with eachother to willingly talk and hang out. Oh the house building attempts went aboustely awful. They sometimes fell on Ranbob! And when they didn't they just collapsed or got blown away by the wind, but Isaac did ofter help a few times and showed him multiple different ways to make sure the walls stay up and keep the cold out. 

Ran is very unhappy with Ranbobs haunting, he thinks their kind of like Ranbob in which they've all killed people and considers them a threat at first, but when he sees how his haunting likes and interacts with Ranbob's, he losens up a bit, his group trusts them, so he has to trust them a little bit. But he doesn't trust them or like them nearly as much as he trusts and likes his haunting. 

Im guessing you mean who from the two groups get along the easiest. Most of them take a while to get to know eachother, like a few hours. But after that their all really close. Charles and Jackie, Cletus and Grievous, and Benjamin, Isaac, and Watson are the groups that get along really well really fast. 

Im honestly probably am going to go for them adventuring outside the City to try to get the brothers to get along again. Mostly cause I thought of the idea that what if Watson, Jackie, and Grievous all lie to Ran, and while they are actually going on an adventure, they lie to him that his brother and his group isn't coming. Then when its much to late for Ran to back out, Watson just goes "Oh yeah! Your brother and his group are traveling with us. And you can't do anything about it." And Ran just sits there shocked. 

Ran and Ranbob are both subtle protective of their group. With Ranbob never really getting aggressive or going into overbearing. But for Ran, if someone in his group is injured badly enough or if there's a big enough threat he does get overbearing and extremely aggressive towards whatever/whoever the threat is *cough cough Ranbob cough*. Ranbob tends to be very physical, listening more to a certain instincts that tell him to constantly have a view on or hold his family, as if he doesnt see or touch them for a long time he gets very anxious and panicky, thinking his family is dead and that he's all alone again. His group understands this and so tends to not stray to far away from Ranbob. He will also follow his group like a lost puppy at times. Ran while listens more to the instinct that tells him at random times to make sure his family is ok and to bond with them. The bonding leads to him randomly grabbing them and just sitting down with them, most likely playing games. While the random urge to check on them has led to him waking them up during the middle of the night or interrupting his own conversation or others conversations just to ask if their ok. His took a while to understand why he does it, but now if he wakes them up or drags them somewhere, they know to go along with it and comfort him during those times. 

Hybrids are rare! Especially aggressive or netural type mobs like Ran, Ranbob, and Porkius are. Their actually seen as monsters and are chased out or hunted in other city's because people aren't accepting of them. Theres very few city's like Subbin that fully welcome and are even led by hybrids. So there are more hybrids in Subbin, than there is anywhere else. 

Sorry this is so long ':)

Asks are always welcome here, and don’t worry about taking a bit or anything. The questions aren’t going anywhere, there’s plenty of time. 

Here’s that for you,🌹anon.

--------------------

1: Wow, Ranbob’s really going through it, huh? Does he ever start to fall back on that need to be ‘perfect’ while with the others? If so, how do they deal with that? And how is he with others offering to help him? If he even can really recall falling under Dream’s thrall, by accepting such an offer, how does he react to others doing the same, even if their intentions are far different?

2: So we’ve settled all the ages down, nice. You figure out anything for their backstory yet? And how do their ages affect their relationships with one another? Does Benjamin take the lead a lot? Or is he more of a follower that still has a lot of say? Who met who first?

3: So Ran’s obviously going to be awhile before he believes what went down. Still, I can’t imagine he’d have been as willing to go along with his hauntings little roadtrip plan if he wasn’t swayed at least a bit, since I can’t imagine he wouldn’t have put his foot down if he truly though Ranbob had done what he did. Why exactly does he go along with it? Does some small part of him want to give his brother a chance? Is he just confident he can overpower him, and looking for an opportunity to settle the score? Does he see something that makes him hope a bit? What’s going down there, anon?

4: On one hand, very adorable. One the other hand, poor Watson. Does Jackie actually not know that stuff, or does he do that just to mess with his new father figure? It seems like they all take to it pretty well overall though.

5: I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. Two people to truly fear. How many people straight up forfeit when faced with this combination? It seems like they’ve had some interesting times, good and bad. How’d those play out? As for those last two, I’m sensing a bit of a backstory. Why does Grievous not like stuff being put into his food? And why’s Jackie not good with being left?

6: So it’s fifty/fifty, huh? Who wins the most at what games? And uh, Watson has to be present for Dart Throwing. What happened there? How’s everyone’s poker faces? Who’s got the best luck in games of chance?

7: A love/hate relationship with height. I feel ya, Jackie. Very funny to imagine though, Jackie just, physically climbing up Ran. How tall even is this guy?? How do they deal with meaner teasing, not just from the gladiators, but from general bullies? Not everybody’s as friendly as some of the Pit fighters, after all. And how do the fishermen react with their fighting skills? Obviously, they must know how to fight somewhat, to have entered the Pit, but the gladiators do this for a living. How much is the difference in skill level? And does the gang ever get to show off just how skilled they are? 

8: Their home sounds very nice, honestly, I wished I could live there, minus the people. What’s everyone’s rooms look like? How have they personalized them? Which brings up another question-what kind of interests and hobbies do they have? What kind of things do they do that aren’t fighting and related to such? And they must be pretty well known, to have such high pay. Any of them have an arena title, or some sort of stage name? How many people can recognize the city’s top gladiators on sight? And how do they get around that, when they don’t want to be seen? How do people feel about them in general?

9: All these team ups sound terrifying, and I wouldn’t want to be facing them. How do they deal with it when they get a bad match up? Do they just stay out of each other’s way? Try to take their opponents out quick? Make it one on one? Ran and Jackie have to be my favorite team up, solely for the fact that you’ve said Ran straight up throws him. Like?? Imagine coming to the King’s Pit, a well known, popular place, hoping to prove yourself, and then getting taking out by a flying midget, just tossed at you by a ridiculously tall endermen hybrid. How would you feel?? 

10: Ranbob is just really going through the ringer here. How many times does he just drop stuff, or trip over his feet? Does he ever get better, or does he still retain a clumsy streak? If so, how does Ran react to that? It’s very good he and Cletus bond! Are they just as close as the others, or is there still a bit of distance? How often does Ranbob forget to eat or drink, or really just take a break? How long does it take to get him to start remembering to do that stuff again? 

Does he ever slip up while with the gladiators? Also, in a room? Do the fisherman expand their house more, or do they just leave them in the house? Does Ranbob ever get his own house up? If so, does he use it at all, or is it more for storage? And how many times did he fall asleep out there, get injured, or not realize it was about to rain? How long did it take before Benjamin or Charles put their foot down and make him stay in for a bit?

Has Ranbob ever even dealt with rain before, or a storm above water? If not, how’d he react to it? 

11: Oh, boy, Ran. Your concerns are understandable, but definitely going to lead to some angst. Is he just on edge the whole time? How many times does he just glare at them, or straight up steal one of his haunting back a few feet away from Ranbob’s? Are the fishermen ever worried he might hurt them?

12: How do both hybrids deal with their groups bonding? I imagine Ranbob’s pretty happy with it, but how about Ran? As you said, he doesn’t seem to be the biggest fan of these guys. 

13: Roadtrip! Gotta love a roadtrip! What kind of places do they head? Any transportation, or is it just walking, enjoying nature? Do they go on an adventure to look for something cool? What’re they getting up to?

14: So Ran and Ranbob both act on their instincts in different ways. How do they feel about seeing how the other acts? What happens if any of the fishermen stray too far, or get separated from Ranbob? Same question to Ran. Ran just...like...picks up members of his haunting? Do people just see him walk around with them dangling in his arms? He must be pretty strong. How often does he do this? How else do their instincts lead to them acting? Cuddle piles, picking up blocks, keeping their groups close together, ect?

15: So Subbin’s pretty much a safe space for hybrids? Interesting. But since the groups are heading out, does this mean they run into some trouble outside of the city? And is there ever trouble within it? 

Other questions: Does Karl play any further part in this, or has he already played his role for good? Does the gang ever end up back at Mizu? Do any of the group have a pet or something similar? With there be any sort of connection to other Tales, even if only slightly, or will they be solely focused on these two? Does Ranbob pick up his studies of Ranboo as best he can once he’s free, or does he leave it all behind entirely?

Thanks for the ask, this AU’s become quite interesting. I can’t wait to see where it goes!

[prismatales]

Comfort

All my love and gratitude goes to @sugacookiies, @pixxiesdust and @hawks-senseis for beta-reading this, you guys were some of the greatest help I've ever had! ❤

Pairings: Bakudeku x Reader

Warning: Tw:Depression, Tw:Suicidal thoughts, angst, fluff and comfort.

Fingertips slam a frantic yet steady pace against the keyboard, your eyes go back and forth between each paragraph with a growing sense of panic. All your senses are running on nothing more but pure anxiety and stress, not even the thought of eating something crosses your mind as the one and only thing to worry about seems to be this specific assignment.

Neither of them can remember the last time they saw you in another spot of the house that wasn't that chair before the computer, sure sometimes you take a break to go to the bathroom, but sleeping? That word doesn't seem to have a meaning in your vocabulary.

Except for that one time you fell asleep on the couch for less than 30 minutes before startling yourself awake and jumping away from the plush cushion to keep working.

Both Midoriya and Bakugo knew how important it was to complete your thesis, but was it worth it when your health and body is on the edge of giving up? They both know how badly this kind of routine can end up affecting your health.

The last time you got this stressed it ended up fucking up your stomach all the way from the esophagus to the intestines. The whole digestive system was so affected it started to feel like your stomach was literally burning itself into nothingness from the gastritis you developed. You had to get treatment for two whole weeks, which was right before your high school finals, and it was one of the worst experiences you've ever had to go through.

There's a reason a huge portion of people going through College ends up feeling dead on the inside, the overwhelming amounts of work, spending so much time in the library one could literally claim they live there, assignments and impossible amounts of field work, all of that could be more than enough things happening at the same time to cause plenty of people to go insane. And if that was bad enough, preparing your Thesis was like one of the deadliest of trials.

Just from the look on your face, it was obvious you're starting to develop another health trouble just like that time, the tips of your fingers start pressing right on the spot above your stomach with a face full of discomfort.

Deku's the first one to see that and in less than five minutes he's already outside on his way to get some medicine, he doesn't think twice about using One for All to go faster. 

Everyone in the apartment was more than used to hear mumbling during the day, courtesy of your beloved Deku, but not even Bakugo was prepared to hear you of all people mumbling such dark things the very next day, when the stress began taking a harder toll. He could hear every single word loud and clear even when he's standing near the kitchen counters at the other side of the house.

"Why do I even bother?...It's not like anything I do even matters..." He can hear the the long sigh followed by more self hatred while he's stirring the noodles for dinner. "Sometimes I wonder if people would even notice that I'm gone...hahaha...I wanna die"

"...! That's it!" The wooden spoon gets slammed roughly against the marble counter, searching through his pocket Bakugo pulls out his phone to text Deku, who's already on his way home from patrol.

It takes less than an hour for the two of them to be there right besides you trying their best to comfort their shaking and panicked S/O, it makes them feel useless seeing how much you're struggling to hold on to the remains of your mental stability.

And when they hear the next course of muttering they know things are just about to get worse unless they do something about it.

"I can't do this anymore...I just can't," The tiny voice coming out of your mouth was heartbreaking. Your whole body is trembling uncontrollably as Midoriya walks up behind the chair, he lifts your whole body so he can take you to the bedroom, that way you could finally get some well deserved rest and calm down, in the meanwhile Bakugo goes back into the kitchen to fetch you something to drink.

Their dynamic was simple and yet effective, most of the time Izuku tends to be the one calming both of you through words, if that's not enough to help he's trying to find another solution to the problem through physical actions. Katsuki on the other hand tends to prefer being the one letting his actions speak for themselves first, even through the smallest of gestures he's always looking out for the both of you, in a reverse context to Deku, when his actions are not enough he's trying to make an effort to comfort you with his words.

Everything came crashing down inside your head like a landslide in the middle of a storm, bringing chaos and despair from every direction. It's easy to recognize the signs of your depression kicking in due to all the work piling up at once, and they're aware you're one of the most dedicated and passionate persons when it comes to your studies.

Midoriya tried to lay you down into the soft mattress and walk away to get that blanket they bought specifically for this type of occasion, but his shirt is quickly clutched into a tight grip, the broken sobs are barely audible to someone not paying enough attention have him on high alert as he realizes you've already started crying.

He has no other choice but to ignore his quest for the blankets and sits back on the bed. His back rests against the headboard while you're laying on your side, face resting softly against his well-toned chest, your body surrounded by his own arms that hold your shaking body against his with the hope that it can help you relax.

Bakugo comes into the room shortly after, carrying your favorite cup steaming with some nice and warm drink, your favorite judging by the glorious smell coming out of the cup in small puffs.

He carefully passes the cup to the green haired man sitting in bed before walking to the corner of the room and towards a dark gray, medium sized basket where the additional blankets are kept, rummaging through the furniture he finds one of the biggest, fluffiest and softest blanket of them all before walking back towards the bed. 

It takes you awhile to process what's actually happening because of the storm running through your head. But eventually, between the reassuring words and sweet whispering, the shaking and the crying slowly, but very slowly starts toning down until nothing but a small whimper can be heard every now and then through your bedroom. 

In less than a few minutes you've already been wrapped in that beloved blanket while resting between two warm and fit bodies, leaning back against the headboard with a comforting drink in hand.

"Are you feeling any better?" Izuku's voice is soft and sweet, just in case there's something still bothering your mind, at the same time one of Katsuki's hands is busy rubbing circles in the section between your shoulders in a steady rhythm, the feeling of his calloused and scarred hand touching that portion of skin helps relaxing your exhausted self at an almost exaggerated level. The last thing they want is for you to have another breakdown.

You want to reply but your mouth quickly opens and closes, so all you can manage to do is give them a soft nod in response, too tired to even try and talk to your sweet boyfriends. 

Sometimes the negative thoughts come during these kinds of moments to try and bring torment. It makes you wonder if one day they'll get tired of this and leave after realizing you're nothing more than a hindrance.

"Don't even think about it, Dumbass," Katsuki growls from his spot at your left side "I recognize that look on your face when I see it, you think you're worthless don't you?" That hand behind you makes its way to your shoulder, pulling your whole body towards him and positioning you in a way that makes your head rest on top of his well toned shoulders. For someone who's body is so nicely sculpted, the place where your head lays is one of the most comfortable places where somebody could rest.

"You are one of the strongest people I've ever met. You've always been someone who rarely allows small shit like this get the best of them" Katsuki's hand had long ago left your back to run his fingers through your hair, the friction against your locks of hair and scalp has a soothing effect that relaxes everything from your whole body to your mind.

A small tear manages to escape, but this time is out of relief and happiness for literally having two of the most wonderful lovers by your sides. The exhausted smile that spreads over your face sends the both of them into a state of relief.

"What did I do to deserve you both?" 

Deku lets out a soft laughter while Katsuki just smirks in satisfaction.

"Existing." 

MASTERLIST

@t-amajiki @undead0relived @shoobirino @bnha-ra @godtieruwu @mysticalite @bnhabookclub @gallickingun @unbreakableeiji @savagetrickster

[hillnerd]

Hey! I don't remember if I've asked this before, but how do you think the golden trio with handle discipline with their kids?

I don’t remember if you have :) 

Harry:

Typically he’s a ‘let’s try to sit down and see why you’re doing this thing- and explain why you shouldn’t’ type. But he sucks at much beyond that. Harry I see as being a bit of a pushover for the kids for a while there. He’s in his early twenties when he becomes a dad and wants his kids to have a lovely time/childhood. He doesn’t want them to be spoiled like Dudley of course- but I picture him having a lot of trouble sticking to setting firm limits. I think the kids are a bit rowdy and out of control with Harry (I mean, look at James! And then if you count CC yikes at Al)- but the kids generally know when they’ve gone too far and Harry’s really good at the whole passive aggressive ‘I’m not angry, just disappointed.’ He can infrequently lose his temper when he’s dealt with too much- and the horrible guilt that follows him for that is pretty bad. I see him and Ginny trying lots of different methods for discipline that they attempt- but most fall through- and in the end they have a very laid back ‘ah, as long as the kids aren’t hurting anything/doing something actually bad, it’s probably fine. :P’ laissez faire attitude. When the kids know they’ve really fucked up they basically punish themselves - because when affable dad turns stony it sends a real chill through them. (Ginny’s more a ‘burst of ‘wtf guys? seriously? That’s it! *vague threats of punishments that only rarely have long-term follow-through*) 

Ron:

Honestly, he’s about as great a dad as they come. He loves encouraging the play and imagination and independence of childhood. He’s quite good at measuring a situation and seeing when it’s getting out of hand, vs just the normal chaos of children. He’s always been a bit of a laid-back mother hen type- giving kids the space they need to make mistakes, but leveling with them when things are too out of a hand. Sometimes he can be guilty of being the ‘good guy’ who lets the kids get away with stuff they shouldn’t (Which drives Hermione insane) but it’s never anything serious. 

He is always very fair with his discipline, and is better than Harry at stopping the wheels from coming off with kids and intervention is needed. He has thrown himself mind and bodied into parenthood. If he were a single parent I think he might struggle with timelines and consistency on rules- but as he has Hermione he is a lot better at it than he would be on his own. THe’s very emotionally intuitive with the kids, especially when they’re younger. Ever seen those Jimmy Kimmel clips where they ask the kids if they could only save one parent which would it be? And the kids almost always say ‘mother’? They’d say ‘dad’ here, since he’s more their primary carer. It’s rare, but when he actually gets angry about something they’ve done the kids immediately know and feel AWFUL. 

It’s rare that he gives straight up punishments- and it’s more about making sure if the kid actually understands what they did wrong, shows remorse and that they’ve learned. The kids are pretty well balanced and typically don’t need all that much discipline- but when they do it’s usually ‘having to sit on the naughty chair/go to their room’ then after the kid has cooled off a firm talking to about limits etc.- or a ‘thank you for volunteering your services! You have to do community service at...’ then picks a place where they need to work- looking for a punishment that fits the crime (usually WWW, burrow, or one of their relative’s place- whoever needs help with something not very fun- like weeding a garden and replanting if they were blowing plants up etc.)

Hermione:

She is a very worried parent- who is quick to try to correct mistakes before they happen. Ron helps her stay back and let the kids make a mess of things. She’s the one who reads parenting books years into being a parent always trying to find the ‘right’ way to deal with any new problem. She was always such an anxious child and hopes to prevent that anxiety from passing to her children- but can’t help but hover and be the ‘serious’ parent. It’s very much a ‘wait til your mother gets home’ because the kids know if there’s a parent who will make sure the punishment sticks, it’s their mother. 

She has trouble at times about expectations- she wants to have more demanding ones than Ron on things like grades, going to bed on time etc. and struggles with being the ‘bad guy’ to the kids at times, and sometimes the kids find her persnickety nature about neatness suffocating. However she is a very loving mother who is great at listening when the kids have a problem that needs solving. With punishments she is very much the one who will stick to whatever timeline was originally stated. If they said two weeks of being grounded- then it’s two weeks! She doesn’t care HOW repentant they are- but she will soften up if there’s, like, a party or something everyone else is getting to go to- ‘well... this one exception- but I’m adding two days after for this!’ She’s the sort to write out expectations and contracts about stuff like that. 

[callmethehunter]

Maggie and Robert

Here’s a new chapter!  I hope you like it.  Thank you to @firethatgrewsolow​ for feedback and help with editing.  As always, there’s a recap of the previous post, followed by the new material.   RECAP:   After a passionate and funfilled night on the beach with Robert, Maggie now has to face the music…aka her old man, Steve

End of Part 3:   As Robert’s silhouette grew smaller in the distance, she knew that she needed to see him again. She simply HAD to see him before he left for the UK on Saturday.  He was magical.  The passion and connection that she had felt with him during their brief encounter was exactly what was absent with Steve and what she deeply craved.

 When she lost all sight of Robert, her eyes swept over the skies.  The sun was beginning to rise, dispersing the quiet darkness of the night...a night she would treasure always.   She sighed wearily, turning her back to that golden sunrise as she headed back home to a man she did not truly love or even respect.  

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -Part 4:  Steve and Schemes

Maggie slowly made her way back to the Bahia Mar just as the dawn lightened the skies.  It was as if the sun was awakening from the depths of the sea to continue it’s restless journey.  There was something about the light and the retreating darkness that made her feel exposed, unable to hide from others or from herself. With each step, closer to Steve, her dread mounted. She replayed the moments with Robert, reliving them as she put one foot in front of the other.  It distracted her from the looming anxiety about having to face Steve and explain where she had gone off to the previous evening.

While she believed that honesty was the best recourse, she decided to make an exception in this case. Just this once, she thought.  She rationalized that it was none of Steve’s business how she chose to spend her time, given that they weren’t married and he had no claim on her.  

They had shacked up for convenience sake. Their initial arrangement had been that each of them paid half of all expenses, which then gradually became Steve paying a larger share.  She had quit bartending at the Elbo Room back in January so she could attend community college.  

But Maggie knew his cash flow came from dealing in weed and acid, not from a 9 to 5 job.  In her opinion, it was easy money since the hippies had started congregating at the northern end of Fort Lauderdale Beach where housing was cheaper, granting Steve access to a booming clientele.

It was the age of tuning in and tuning out.  Timothy Leary advocated the use of psychedelics such as acid as a means to spiritual and personal growth. The drugs  practically came with an endorsement, for crying out loud and added to the Free Love movement that was spreading like wildfire especially now that the Pill was in greater use.  In fact the media was touting last summer of 1967 as the Summer of Love.  

Her internal dialogue was interrupted when she heard her name being shouted repeatedly.  She spotted Steve sitting in the shiny red Camaro, his prized possession. It was one of the only vehicles in the lot this early in the day.  He started the loud engine and practically peeled out of the parking space headed towards her.  

Oh fuck!, she cursed under her breath. Here he comes... The smidgeon of peace that had remained from her magical evening with Robert went flying out the window, replaced by a deep annoyance at having to explain herself to Steve.

“What the fuck, Maggie!” Steve barked as he pulled up next to her. “Where have you been all this time? I was worried about you out there trippin’ all by yourself.” He gestured wildly towards the beach. “One minute you were there, then the next time I looked you were gone. Man, I thought you drowned!  I sure hope it was worth it to keep me hanging like that,” he berated her.

Maggie’s tactic when he became this belligerent was to placate him and act contrite. “Steve, I know...I am so sorry you had to go through all that.  That purple microdot was so strong I don’t even know what all I did, I just remember being at the Jetties, and laying down somewhere looking at the sky...probably for hours.  The stars looked as if they were dripping wax from candles on the beach and the colors were so bright!” 

She ventured a glance at his face, which appeared calmer. “You know how it is, babe, I didn’t mean to worry you.” See?  she said to herself, telling half truths was not really lying, she rationalized again. But in her heart she knew that she was skating on thin ice.

“Yea, I know, that shit’s groovy, man, but you can’t just walk off and not tell me what you’re doing or where you’re going for hours!”   The fact that his voice was back to a normal decibel was promising.

 “C’mon man, get in the car. I’m starving thanks to having to sit there all fucking night waiting on you.” As usual, the crisis had become all about him.

“Steve, seriously, who are you kidding? You know damn well you and your friends were partying all night... You barely missed me, seeing as Shannon the chipmunk was hanging on your every word when I left.”  She wasn’t buying his ”holier than thou, concerned boyfriend” crap. It might work on Shannon but it wasn’t going to work on her.

That must have been what happened, because Steve did not respond as he sped down AIA towards the House of Pancakes.  By the time they pulled into the lot, they had toned it down.  Steve had a short memory, probably from all the weed he smoked, and now that they were going to eat, his self-righteous attitude diminished.  After they were seated, he studied the menu, commenting on what he should order.  

Maggie breathed a sigh of relief.  She had been right in only revealing where she’d been and not who she was with...Only the sexiest and most intriguing man she had ever laid eyes on, she said to herself.  Had she divulged that small yet crucial detail, she would not have heard the end of it.  

Yet Steve was the one who had brought up having an open relationship when they shacked up the year before. They were more like friends on equal footing back then but somehow he seemed to have developed a sense of ownership.  Nowadays he acted as if he was her sugar daddy or had some claim on her.   The longer she allowed Steve to finance her life, the longer she would be in this rut. She had become lazy and complacent.  The realization deeply troubled her and she vowed to take action, once and for all.

After ordering a breakfast platter, Steve mentioned he had been looking at a boat that was for sale at the docks near the Bahia Mar.  It was  last year’s model, a 1967 Chris Craft Cavalier, he said, as if that would explain it.  

“Well, tell me more about it.  I don’t know much about boats,” she added, “except that some have cabins and some don’t.”

“Man, I gotta teach you about the finer details of boating! if I can get this dude to go down on the price. I think he will, seeing as I fronted him 100 hits of acid and some weed last week and he still hasn’t paid me.”

“You know what, Steve? One of these days somebody’s gonna screw you over so bad or you’re gonna get busted by the fuzz, man,” she chided him. “You gotta be more careful, people talk…”

“Maggie, shut the fuck up, you don’t know what I do or don’t do.” He spat out bits of the omelett he was chewing, with how forcefully he replied. “I've been doing this shit since I was 16, so for over 10 years now, I ain’t never had a problem...well, except with a Cuban dude that tried to rip me off one time. But anyway,” he continued, “I don’t have to do shit, you hear?”

She hated when he spoke to her with disdain, belittling her intelligence, sometimes right in front of his friends. Most of the time, she sucked it up and went with the flow, letting it roll right off her back.  But lately, this type of behavior angered her and she had been growing increasingly resentful towards his snide remarks.

  “Fuck you, too, Steve” she countered, setting her toast down on the plate, suddenly losing all appetite.

“Whatever...Look, Maggie, do you wanna go see the damn boat or not? You’re lucky I’m even asking for your opinion seeing that we’re gonna be spending a lot of time on it.”

“Oh really?” she replied, “what if I don’t like boating, did you ever think of that? What if I always get sea sick, huh?” she asked but he just looked at her, mouth agape.

“Steve, you know I don’t like it when the water’s really deep, you can’t just assume I’m gonna feel comfortable on that boat day in and day out…”

“Why not?” he asked incredulously. “You should see the cabin, Maggie. It’s got a full sized bed, mini bathroom and little kitchen. It’s sweet, baby, you’re gonna forget all about that you’re on the water...It’s gonna be like being in a camper on land. You’ll love it, baby.”

She cringed at the familiar way he disregarded her feelings, bulldozing over them and then pretending she had been the one to suggest whatever it was he manipulated her into doing.  This was insanity!  He’s never gonna change!, she realized. 

Almost in a defeated tone, she answered “Yea, maybe you’re right, Steve. Let’s go take a look when we leave here.”   

He reached over the table and patted her hand, “Thata girl. We’ll go right after I pay.”

With that, he signaled to the waitress to bring the check, took a wad of cash out of his pocket, and glanced over the bill.  

Maggie looked out the window and realized they were only a few minutes away from Tugboat Annies.

She mustered up all her courage and nonchalantly asked  “Hey, sweetie, if we were to get the boat, could we dock it over by Tugboat Annies? It doesn’t cost as much as the Bahia Mar and you can pull up through the intercoastal, dock it in the back, and you’re right at the bar....There’s actually a really good band playing this weekend,” she continued, “if we had the boat, we’d look so cool pulling up in it, right?”

She knew Steve well. He was a show off and loved to appear important. The idea that the hip people at Tugboat’s would notice his latest purchase was irresistible to him.   His growing smile told her everything she needed to know, and her heart soared as she thought about seeing Robert again.  She ached with longing for him.  That gorgeous blonde, that sexy man. 

She smiled back sweetly at Steve, proud of herself for having turned the tables and being the one who manipulated the outcome, making him feel he was still in control.  

Her self-congratulation faded as a tinge of anxiety surfaced.  Steve was a narcissist, that much was true, but he was no dummy and he was extremely possessive of her time.  How was she going to manage making contact with Robert while Steve was hovering nearby? How was she gonna pull this one off?  

Different scenarios ran through her mind.  She suddenly realized that the answer lay in having distractions... Lots of distractions.  They would put the word out and invite all his cronies out to the concert, in part to celebrate and party on the boat.  People could step out onto the marina behind Tugboat’s and score, getting their stash for the week in the privacy of the boat’s cabin.  She’d wait to suggest that part later… 

After the waitress brought back the change, she grabbed her bag from the back of her chair, stood and followed Steve out of the diner, this time with a light heart and a bounce in her step.

To be continuied at Tugboat Annies....

[punkscowardschampions]

Jac & Amelia

Jac: [So the vibe is evidently just showing up at the pre-drinks at this gfs house, we'll have to be some level of wasted to have the nerve so from the off it's a mood lol] Amelia: [a select gathering of the gays that you weren't invited too, but it's okay because Amelia can't throw you out when everyone else is like yeah come through] Jac: [literally you'd have to make such a drama and that's not you and also no one knows why you stopped being besties so it clearly appears chill from the outside, I vote the club should be a gay one so you have to commit to that hen] Amelia: [agreed because clearly her gf has planned this because Amelia's plan was to go and get that haircut and outfit with her mum so] Jac: [too pure for this bitch, we all know this is just an excuse for her to party like any other night really, which is rude, do something special but no, at least you're simply that hoe so it's not like we even have to work hard here, the flirting is blatant] Amelia: [it hurts my heart because you know Jamelia would have gone IN for each other's birthdays] Jac: [and her last one was start of transition year so they would've still been friends, AND it was her 16th so it would've been really poppin'] Amelia: [brb sobbing] Jac: [thank god jac is also miserable and only pretending to be living her best life or this would be even ruder] Amelia: [and thank god Amelia isn't in love with this gal] Jac: [and that lmao] Jac: [to me it should be like they just straight up make out on the dance floor 'cos her girlfriend is the 'its not a big deal omg!' type but even if it weren't, it is because it's Jac] Amelia: [hence when Amelia loses it it's Jac she's shouting at and being like how could you do this to me etc not her gf] Jac: [mhmm mHM we all know she's barely speaking at this point so she's not gonna say anything and your gf will be going off 'cos she looks the gobby type so you can slap her if you need babe lol] Amelia: [she so is the gobby type, Amelia just straight up dismissing her because this isn't about you babe I gotta scream at Jac rn thank you] Jac: [meanwhile we're just trying to walk away like the audacity] Amelia: [literally like SAY SOMETHING! because is there anything more frustrating than when someone won't react and you're literally 💔] Jac: [there is not, just shouting 'I'M SORRY' ala Tracy because we do not sound sorry at all but she is never a loud person so everyone else is gonna be shook like damn] Amelia: [your aunt Cass would be proud of that, but Amelia just gonna walk away] Jac: [good lord go home gal, or at least a different club lol, also like to point out she has a September birthday so also would've been after Savannah left so that would've been cheery lol] Amelia: [nice parallel because we know Amelia's walking home but fuck knows how far it would be, we're not at Erin's house now hens] Jac: [I'm sure you don't live right in town, your fam seems a suburb type so that'll be a nice trek, you poor bitch] Amelia: [just sobbing the whole time probably, even though she's not a crier like Savannah is] Jac: [you'd have to have a cry, if Jac hadn't gone catatonic as a defence mechanism, she would be too] Amelia: [which is why we're not getting our parents to pick us up because don't wanna be sobbing to this degree in front of them and her mum already hates the gf so we don't want the I told you so either] Amelia: [plus her mum probably thinks she's over Jac by now because we downplaying things forever] Jac: [parents can only be so much of a MVP at this age] Amelia: [I think when they see each other again it should be another argument that turns into Amelia kissing her because that's a trope for a reason] Jac: [yes, you are both owed it without the audience tbh] Amelia: [like I have no idea where they are when that happens, are you gonna show up on her doorstep to have another argument or what gal lol] Jac: [maybe you had somewhere you went together, idk where or what vibe, so you know she's gonna be there, even if it's just a different club and you're outside angsting] Amelia: [ooh excellent, yeah there's any number of places that could be 'theirs' you've known each other long enough] Jac: [precisely, it can be as everyday and unspecial or the opposite as we'd like, Dublin centre is not that big it's not insane to suggest] Amelia: [when do you think that is, clearly pretty soon after because the emotions have gotta be high] Jac: [yeah, sooner rather than later, like we did this for a reason and like you said, it's too frustrating when someone won't react to you] Amelia: [literally could be the next day/night I'd believe it] Jac: [i literally thought you meant the same night so yes i agree lol] Amelia: [omg that's even better tbh] Jac: like you turn round like AND ANOTHER THING, tensions are beyond that high] Amelia: [exactly] Jac: [at least Amelia is angry enough to break it off 'cos the levels of fucks you don't give rn about anything] Amelia: [yeah she's angry and sad enough to be like ffs what am I doing and actually go home] Jac: [thanks babe, we all know it happens but don't need it to literally look like 2nd choice to your hoe gf 'cos it ain't that] Amelia: [how am I gonna start a convo from here because I clearly am lol] Jac: [thank god you both drunk, I can do it if you want] Amelia: [go ahead if you think you can boo] Jac: you home safe Amelia: no, I'm dead in a ditch Jac: great Amelia: it'll make life easier for you, yeah Jac: my life couldn't be any rosier Amelia: 🥀🥀🥀 Jac: glad to see your flare for the dramatic ain't died in that ditch with you Jac: flair, which one Jac: idk Amelia: you took that over from me, remember Amelia: you really fucking did Jac: aren't you impressed Amelia: if you'd got there earlier you could've pushed me out of the way to blow the candles out on the cake my mum bought too Jac: you don't wanna be kids no more? Jac: could've said sooner Amelia: she's not a doll, she just wants to look like one Jac: who? Amelia: the girlfriend you wanted to share so badly Jac: oh her Jac: bride of chucky maybe Amelia: you did scare everyone with your apology Amelia: very exorcist-ish Jac: I was going for Carrie Jac: oh well Jac: still a better match than you two ain't it Amelia: oh you were trying to win a prom queen sash with acts of charity Amelia: I get it Jac: shouldn't you be throwing all this shade at her Amelia: wait, I'll add her in Jac: ha Jac: go ahead Amelia: she won't accept, sorry Amelia: I did try Jac: devastating Amelia: are you home safe? Jac: yeah Amelia: you do have the 👿👹👺👻 inside protecting you, I guess Jac: its always got a home inside me Amelia: well yeah, you don't ever kiss anyone long enough for it to transfer hosts Jac: you'll wanna get rid of the girlfriend then Jac: before you get infected Amelia: you already did that for me, such a good 🥳🎂🎁 Jac: couldn't think what else to get ya Amelia: 💐? Amelia: no? Jac: thought she might have beat me to it Jac: made a bit of an effort Amelia: she wanted me, that's all I needed Jac: past tense Jac: and that's definitely not the first time she's done that Amelia: what do you care? Jac: you think this is how i'd show it if I did Amelia: I try not to think about you anymore Jac: there's no need to make yourself sound stupid in the process Amelia: not when you're there to make me look it Jac: you'll get another girlfriend Amelia: because that's what is ripping my heart out about this Jac: that's your problem Amelia: stay the fuck away from me Amelia: if you'd done that I wouldn't have a problem Jac: I plan on it Jac: done what I needed to do Amelia: great Jac: enjoy what's left of your big day then Jac: have some 🎂 Amelia: you've made sure I can't Amelia: where's Savannah Moore with a 👏 emoji when you need her? Jac: Sligo Jac: last I heard Amelia: those poor country lads Jac: you've never cared about any lad a day in your life Jac: you can just admit you miss her Amelia: 😂 Jac: hilarious Amelia: not really Amelia: but I physically can't cry any more, I must be dehydrated Jac: unsurprising Jac: me either Amelia: 🍾🥂 Amelia: have a nice life then Amelia: probably leave tonight out of your achievements during the uni interviews Jac: nah Jac: diversity and adversity is all the rage Amelia: that's why I'll be mentioning it Jac: you're welcome x2 Amelia: 🙌 Jac: you sure she don't wanna join Jac: 'cos she's annoying me Amelia: I don't care what she wants or feel sorry for you Jac: yeah Jac: then tell her that Jac: not relaying your message Amelia: I have Jac: she's a liar too, makes sense Amelia: you're well suited Jac: besides the obvious Amelia: that you've done what you needed to do, yeah Amelia: tell her that Jac: I have Jac: not my fault she's so thick she only understands actions Amelia: if she's been messaging you since the 💋 you'll have had time to tell her everything I didn't Amelia: even if it has to be via charades Jac: the fact I didn't fuck her is all the information she's getting from me Amelia: the dancefloor's a bit public even for her Amelia: but maybe she'll be willing to break the rules for you, that's what people do Jac: let's not pretend it was about her Jac: only room for one delusional person in a relationship, don't you know? Amelia: you're ready for that, are you? Amelia: I don't know anything about relationships as it turns out Jac: first cut is the deepest Amelia: if you're going to sing, it's meant to be Happy Birthday Jac: yeah, you wish Amelia: I only got the one and I've already used it Jac: don't tell or it won't come true Amelia: I don't remember it now anyway Jac: bullshit Amelia: if it was 💇🏻 related it definitely didn't come true Jac: you didn't get a fringe Amelia: I still hate it Jac: it's not why you got cheated on Amelia: thanks, that makes me feel loads better about 👧🏻 Amelia: can you just take the posts down please Jac: I dunno Amelia: Jac Jac: fuck sake Jac: one thing Amelia: just do it Jac: then that's it Jac: there's your present, I don't owe you nothing Amelia: no, then that's it because I don't want anything to do with you Amelia: it doesn't make us even Jac: I don't give a shit about being even with you Jac: I win Jac: end of Amelia: it's not a fucking game Jac: you're the only one not playing Amelia: so leave me out of it Jac: that's another favour Jac: pick one Amelia: fuck you Jac: i'm keeping the pictures up then Amelia: enjoy your win Jac: naturally Amelia: 👏👏👏 Jac: you aren't her Amelia: you aren't you Amelia: it still doesn't make us even Jac: maybe you never knew me Jac: we weren't friends, after-all Amelia: there's no maybe about it, if we were ever friends you wouldn't treat me like this Jac: nothing is as simple as you'd like it to be Jac: but sure Amelia: you really hurt me again, it's that simple Amelia: and this time it was deliberate Jac: and you don't hurt the people you love Jac: grow up, Amelia Amelia: not like that Jac: that's easier for you Amelia: what about ANY of this is easy for me? Amelia: you told me to try, I did Amelia: now what? Jac: it isn't my responsibility to worry about that Jac: you figure it out Amelia: I had it figured out and you tore it down Amelia: take some fucking responsibility for that Jac: what, with your shit girlfriend who doesn't give a fuck about you Jac: that was wrecked before I got there Jac: deal with that Amelia: you wrecked me before she got there Amelia: I still think about you all the time, miss you all the time Amelia: and I do have to deal with that, all the time Jac: and I've got nothing to deal with Amelia: of course you do Amelia: happy people don't gatecrash and ruin other people's birthdays Jac: then you'll forgive me for not feeling sorry for you Amelia: I don't want you to feel sorry for me, I want you to be sorry for what you just did Jac: you want a lot Amelia: not this time Amelia: it's bare minimum Jac: I'm happy to disappoint and leave you wanting Amelia: then you win again Amelia: congratulations Jac: yipee Amelia: Don't contact me again unless you're got something to say that means something Jac: fine Amelia: you sound faker than Savannah could ever Amelia: it'd be impressive if it worked Jac: have I contacted you before now? Amelia: that doesn't matter because today you did Jac: today I ruined your relationship and birthday Jac: then I asked if you got home Amelia: yeah, and that all means something Jac: it means I wanted to fuck up your life Amelia: at least that wish came true Jac: there's always shooting stars and eyelashes when there isn't candles Amelia: there isn't a quick fix for this Jac: there's no fix Jac: there's only out and it's still 2 fucking years away Amelia: you were supposed to give me time, that's supposed to be one Jac: well I didn't feel like it today Amelia: clearly Jac: get over it Amelia: I'm not even through it, it literally just happened Jac: I'm not apologising, I can't be any clearer Amelia: then don't Amelia: I didn't know how to beg you when we were friends, I can't do it with this version of you Jac: Done? Amelia: I was done before I actually got home Jac: Well I've not gone home Jac: so we both lied there then Amelia: Where have you gone? Jac: what's it to you? Amelia: I don't want what happened to Is to happen to you, or worse Amelia: I care about you Jac: it won't Amelia: I'm calling your parents Jac: maybe I've told them you're obsessed with me already Amelia: maybe but it's still ringing Amelia: they can decide what they want to do Jac: you're such a snitch Amelia: because I really care what you think of me right now Jac: nah, just hope it makes you feel good about yourself worrying my parents for nothing Amelia: I don't feel good about myself because of you Amelia: your parents are irrelevant to me Jac: we've got that in common then Amelia: they're probably going to want to talk to you and I don't so goodnight Jac: Bold of you to think I'd answer Jac: but it is a reason to turn my phone off so yeah Jac: later Amelia: you're really 😎 we get it Jac: that's what I'm doing Jac: you're so smart Amelia: it's why you want to keep the pics up Amelia: like a 🏆 Jac: i wanna keep em up so you have to see them Amelia: I don't have to see them, I've already blocked you both Jac: 😂 Amelia: What's funny? Jac: 🤡😥 would've been more applicable, perhaps Amelia: probably Jac: you can pal up with Is again, she's up for it Amelia: yeah because I really want to drag her into whatever 🎪 you've started up between us Jac: you're so considerate Amelia: something really fucked up happened to her, you were there, don't act like you don't remember Jac: and you weren't there Amelia: I know that Jac: then you don't get to say shit to me about it Amelia: I'm not, I'm saying this isn't about Is Jac: when is it ever Jac: poor girl Amelia: stop it Jac: you walked out on her Jac: she didn't have enough daddy issues? Amelia: I walked out on you Jac: same difference Amelia: you said you'd let me Jac: and I did Amelia: until now Jac: you're only 17 once Jac: it's not going to happen again Amelia: it shouldn't have happened at all Jac: should woulda coulda Amelia: promise me that this is it Jac: I don't fancy your girlfriend Jac: kissing her was bad enough Amelia: I mean, promise me that I don't have to look over my shoulder for the next 2 years in case you decide that you want to ruin my life again Amelia: because I can't Jac: Amelia Amelia: I'm serious, I'll leave school before I let you do this to me for a third time Jac: I'm not in a position to be making promises about anything, to anyone Jac: I'll try Amelia: okay Jac: just Jac: I don't know Jac: never mind Amelia: you're scaring me, you know Amelia: I should've made you promise not to do any reckless shit back then instead of the other way round Jac: everyone's scared Jac: they say it like I can change it Amelia: I thought I was doing the right thing but everything just keeps getting worse Amelia: for me, you and Is Amelia: even for Savannah, Sligo for fuck's sake Jac: even if you'd done it different Jac: I'd still have done the same Jac: it still would've all happened Amelia: what are you going to do now? Jac: nothing matters now Amelia: you matter Amelia: to me Amelia: come to my 🏠 I'll call your parents back Jac: we're not doing this again Jac: no Jac: it's bad enough i have people in my life i can't get rid of Amelia: we're not doing anything Jac: stop caring about me Amelia: I can't Jac: how much more do I have to ruin your life Amelia: you have ruined it, that doesn't mean I want you to be dead in a ditch Jac: all I'm going to do is break your heart over and over and then I'm going to leave forever Amelia: tonight it's already broken and that's all I'm talking about Amelia: take the guest bedroom Jac: no Jac: because then my family will just think we're friends again and that I'm fine Jac: I'll go home, okay, just stop Amelia: if you stop lying, I'll stop this Jac: I'll send you proof, for fuck's sake Amelia: okay Jac: fine Amelia: [we're just waiting for that pic like] Jac: [however long this is gonna take, at least you're probably a bit more central, the most begrudging pic of the front door lmao] Amelia: no, put your outfit in it so I know it wasn't stored on your phone Jac: 'cos I just have pictures of my door Jac: [but does, some weird angle to not get your face in] Jac: haven't got a newspaper, so sorry Amelia: if you hadn't stopped the party early, they might have been delivered Jac: it was a crap party anyway Jac: she hadn't even booked a table Amelia: Yeah Jac: at least you can have a better girlfriend for your 18th Amelia: can I? Are you going to let me Jac: probably not Jac: but if she's less easy to ruin then there's nothing I can do about that Amelia: you'd have to try something else, that's all Jac: obviously Jac: I'm still smart Amelia: I'm not giving you a compliment Jac: I'm not saying I'm not going to ruin your chances at happiness Amelia: it's not like I need you to Amelia: SO capable on my own Jac: it's not taking credit if you're making excuses for me Jac: but alright Amelia: I'm talking about the 💇🏻 which you can't take credit for Jac: it suits you Amelia: that is the most hurtful thing you've ever said Amelia: take it back Jac: it's also true Jac: and you wanted me to stop lying Amelia: 😒 Jac: at least you don't look like every other girl now Amelia: you think I did before? Amelia: also that's because no other girl wants to look like 👧🏻 Jac: I mean everyone has the same hair Jac: you stand out more Amelia: you don't Jac: well I'm special, obviously Amelia: I know Jac: 🙄 Amelia: 😉 Jac: you're an idiot Jac: Jude better be at a sleepover Amelia: her hair stands out Jac: you should tell her that Jac: she'll be so glad her attention-seeking doesn't go unnoticed Amelia: she think I'm flirting with her so no Jac: oh yeah Jac: you're a predatory lesbian now Amelia: I kissed you Jac: after I kissed your girlfriend Amelia: you don't fancy her Amelia: that wasn't why you did it Jac: she fancies herself enough Amelia: So does Savannah, that wasn't a problem for you Jac: don't talk about her Amelia: sure, I wouldn't want to upset you Amelia: what's the point being 💔 if you're not the saddest Jac: she's gone, there's no point talking about her Amelia: my parents know hers, she's not gone from dinner table conversation at my 🏠 Jac: sucks for you then Amelia: sucks more for her that she's been sent to catholic school Jac: Catholic school? Amelia: yeah, her dad had that brainwave Jac: that is unfortunate Jac: probably a better school than ours though, so she'll be thrilled Amelia: it's my dad's favourite joke threat now Jac: at least you could avoid me Amelia: true, I should call his bluff and take him up on it next time Jac: go for it Jac: it's only me that has to write off this shit school on her uni app Amelia: the rest of your app will more than make up for it Jac: that's the plan Amelia: exactly, so it's not technically a compliment Jac: you're shit at this Amelia: thanks Jac: no, that really wasn't a compliment Jac: not one of your not technicallys Amelia: 😏 Jac: did you get a car Jac: I bet you got a car Amelia: [a picture of it because why not say she did] Jac: just got to pass now Jac: then you can go where you like Amelia: then I can runaway Jac: nah Jac: they'd take you off their insurance and you'd be fucked Amelia: because I'd never drive without insurance Jac: the police would be frantically looking for you as is Jac: that's always how murderers get caught out Amelia: 🤫 you're ruining this too Jac: you fantasize on your own time Amelia: this is my own time, you're home safe Amelia: I don't owe you my full attention now that your 👅 isn't in my ex girlfriend's mouth Jac: have you kissed anyone else Amelia: no Jac: do you regret it being her Amelia: it wasn't you, that's what I regret Amelia: but it couldn't be so Jac: yeah Jac: at least it was a girl Amelia: I'm not stupid enough to kiss any boys Jac: some just call it heterosexual Amelia: and I'm not so it'd be stupid for me Jac: alright Amelia: but I should probably kiss more girls Jac: why should you Amelia: because she'll think all the wrong things if I don't Jac: true Jac: I thought you didn't care about what people thought though Amelia: I'm going to have to find new friends from somewhere Jac: don't you gays stick together Amelia: she sticks with them and I don't want to see her Jac: you move fast Amelia: I don't really have a choice, do I? Jac: I don't need friends Amelia: handy since you don't have any Jac: that's why I don't Amelia: yeah, because you only care about what you need Jac: duh Amelia: did you ever care about me? Jac: don't be stupid Amelia: did you ever care about me when it wasn't because you needed something? Jac: what kind of question is that Amelia: one I need the answer to Jac: we were friends forever Jac: what did I get from it half the time Jac: no more than you did or didn't Amelia: okay Jac: that was a dick move making me answer that when you already knew Amelia: I didn't know Amelia: whenever I talk to you I end up with more questions than answers Amelia: and end up questioning my sanity Jac: you don't need to Jac: your work here is done Amelia: you can't tell me what to do when you don't even do what you said you were going to Jac: so you're going to continue to make a bad decision, just to be awkward Jac: that's smart Amelia: because you have such good reasons for doing what you did earlier Jac: 'course I do Amelia: go on then Amelia: tell me them Jac: already did Jac: I wanted to fuck it up for you Jac: felt great Amelia: there's smarter ways to feel good, and easier Jac: I've tried those Amelia: oh well I loved being your little experiment, thanks Jac: whatever Jac: it needed to be done Amelia: no it didn't Amelia: you keep saying that Jac: you don't get it Amelia: I don't buy into your fake bullshit, no, and that's all you've given me all night Jac: what's fucking fake about the fact I can't stand to have anyone around me happy? Jac: there's nothing fake about misery being the only thing I can stomach now Amelia: you didn't break up your parents or ruin your brother's music career, you sought me out when I haven't even been around you Amelia: you're full of shit Jac: trust me, I'm doing my best Jac: and you're full of shit if you're now trying to say you don't see me every day Jac: and that it isn't the fucking worst Amelia: I thought it was, until you did this Amelia: now I can say today was the worst Amelia: you're so fucking selfish and cruel Jac: nothing has changed Jac: I sped up your inevitable break-up, that's it Amelia: no, you went out of your way to hurt and humiliate me Amelia: everything has changed Jac: if you say so Jac: it wasn't the first time for me Amelia: who are you? Jac: it doesn't matter Amelia: who the fuck are you? Jac: I don't know, Amelia Jac: alright Amelia: you can't treat people like this Jac: then tell everyone what I did Jac: I don't care Jac: you could've done something about it Amelia: what did you want me to do? Jac: I thought you might put up more of a fight Amelia: for what? Against what? Jac: because I humiliated you Amelia: it wasn't the first time for me either Jac: never like that Amelia: I'm not going to fight you Jac: your loss Amelia: I keep telling you, I care about you, I don't want to hurt you Jac: I wish you'd stop Amelia: I wish I could Jac: yeah Jac: well Amelia: it's my loss, like you said Jac: don't worry, I've got my own Amelia: that makes me feel loads better Jac: it should Amelia: it doesn't Jac: you're infuriating Amelia: says you Amelia: I'm so angry at you Jac: because I wanted you to be Jac: that's the correct response Amelia: no, because I love you too much to hate you Amelia: because it won't go away Amelia: and I don't want to feel like this for the rest of my fucking life no matter what you do Jac: I don't have the answer Jac: If I could make you stop then I would Jac: but I don't know how Amelia: me either Jac: there's nothing I can do if you don't hate me by now Jac: I dropped you for Savannah Jac: I did everything I did tonight Amelia: I was there, I don't need you to recap Jac: I couldn't have made it easier Amelia: there's something wrong with me, there must be Jac: not as bad as me Amelia: my mum said at the time that I fell in love with you years ago and I can't expect to fall out of it in a few weeks or months Jac: logic adds up Amelia: she thinks I'm over it now so clearly not Jac: you probably said you were Jac: or near enough Amelia: the girlfriend thing kind of said it for me Jac: yeah well Jac: I've had loads of boyfriends Amelia: you're not in love with me Jac: I meant it doesn't mean anything, necessarily Amelia: yeah Amelia: my mum is more old fashioned though Amelia: romantic or whatever Jac: more romantic than your girlfriend, yeah Amelia: 🙄 Jac: she wasn't good enough for you anyway Amelia: I'm not good enough for anyone Amelia: I'm literally still in love with someone else who isn't them Jac: it isn't that simple Jac: you can feel things for more than one person Jac: you just, didn't for her and she wasn't worth it Amelia: maybe other people can but I don't Jac: how would you know Jac: it just hasn't happened yet Amelia: I'm too self aware if anything Jac: that's some lesbian nonsense Amelia: I'll put it in my bio then Jac: tinder Amelia: I'm not kissing that many girls, she'll definitely think all the wrong things Jac: be kicking herself, like Jac: or is it only okay when she does it Amelia: probably Jac: just like a lad Amelia: 😣 Jac: awh Amelia: I can't be bothered Jac: with girls? Amelia: I'm not trying anymore, you didn't keep your promises anyway Jac: what does that mean? Amelia: it means I don't care, my life can stay the mess you wanted it to be Jac: alright Jac: not like I can turn around and say 'no don't' now Amelia: and if you turn around you won't see me Jac: what? Amelia: school, I'm not doing it either Jac: shut up Amelia: online maybe so my dad doesn't rage Jac: that's bullshit Amelia: so is this Jac: no, fuck you Amelia: 😂 Jac: so you all get to fucking leave and I'm the one stuck dealing Jac: nah Amelia: I've got nothing to stay for Jac: it's school, no one does Jac: jesus Amelia: you said yourself it sucks having to see me every day Amelia: I'm doing you a favour Jac: you are ridiculous Jac: you think you can just run away like this is some shit indie song Amelia: I've tried the alternative Amelia: it didn't go great Jac: you think Savannah is bad? at least her parents made her go Jac: you're such a spoilt brat Amelia: I don't think about Savannah Jac: you don't think about anything Jac: christ Amelia: your audacity is another level Jac: your stupidity is worse Amelia: yeah, I've proved that loads of times over Jac: fucking hell Jac: your life is so hard, Meelie, yeah Jac: everyone thinks its my fault, what happened to Is Jac: and the more she says otherwise, the more it sounds like it was Amelia: no they don't, I don't Jac: well you love me so you're clearly insane and a bit biased Amelia: even if I hated you I'd still know that you weren't the one who assaulted her Amelia: it's his fault, nobody else's Jac: me and Sav still ran like we had something to hide Jac: that's all anyone cares about, working out what Amelia: you were scared, in shock probably Amelia: you felt like it was your fault Amelia: that doesn't mean it was Jac: all I know is she's fucked off, no one will say anything to Is, so it's all down to me, whatever people wanna say or think about it Jac: so yeah, sorry I think your idea is fucking laughable but been there, done that Jac: didn't solve anything, it only made the rest worse Amelia: I know it's a stupid idea, alright Jac: you can't go, alright, you just can't Amelia: you know I'll fight the whole school before I'd ever fight you Amelia: I'll do it for you too, if that will help Jac: Yeah, I do Jac: nothing will help but Jac: at least you're still here Jac: nothing else is the same Amelia: I'll be in detention every day for the next 2 years if that's what it takes to shut people up Jac: I don't deserve it Jac: or anything but hate from you, and I do fucking know that Amelia: you don't deserve to get the blame for being there and being her friend Amelia: I should've been too Amelia: and after it happened we should've talked Jac: maybe it's just karma Jac: I've never been a good friend to her and by the time it happened Jac: well Jac: I made you leave Amelia: I ruined our friend so I had to leave Amelia: *ship Amelia: that's not your fault either Jac: maybe it is Amelia: it's not Amelia: I shouldn't have told you how I felt Amelia: or been jealous of Savannah Amelia: or made such a big deal about the date you went on Jac: no Jac: I get it Jac: you weren't wrong Amelia: I did the wrong thing by leaving you and Is Jac: I couldn't wish the alternative on you Jac: having to stick around and watch Amelia: I still had to watch Amelia: I couldn't go that far Jac: I know it's my fault because it happened again Amelia: what? Jac: Savannah Jac: I kissed her Amelia: I don't understand Jac: you should have been jealous of her Jac: I mean Jac: you know what I mean Amelia: you mean you felt something for her Jac: I didn't want to feel any of it Jac: but she was straight and you weren't so having her around was meant to be easier Amelia: why didn't you just tell me? Amelia: you lied and lied and made me feel crazy Jac: because I feel crazy Jac: I fucking am Jac: I just Jac: it's not like I left that conversation and told her Jac: I kept on and got with lads and pretended to like it, tried to Amelia: everything you said, everything you did Amelia: oh my god Amelia: I can't Amelia: I can't take this in Jac: like I said, it's fucking karma Jac: I fucked it with you and it happened to me Amelia: I'm supposed to feel what, that she queerbaited you? Happy? validated? Jac: I don't know Jac: probably Amelia: did you know how you felt about her when I told you how I felt? Jac: why? Amelia: because you told me over and over again that you liked boys and you'd change that if you could Jac: yes, and I told her the same thing Jac: and I acted accordingly Amelia: I've spent so long feeling horrible for putting you in that position and none of it was real Jac: it was real Jac: I don't want to be Jac: I want to be straight Amelia: it isn't a choice Amelia: and you can't just twist everything to make it one Jac: acting or not acting on it is Amelia: so why did you choose to act on it by kissing her, if that's what you think? Jac: it was a mistake Jac: when we left Jac: after Is Jac: and it was just us Jac: then it destroyed everything and she's literally run away Amelia: and then you destroyed what was left after she'd gone Jac: yes Amelia: great Jac: I'm aware Amelia: are you? Amelia: for years I thought things were one way only to be told they weren't and now you're telling me an entirely different story again Amelia: 🤯 Jac: because we don't live in the ideal world where I accept myself for liking girls and I choose the right one and we live happily ever after Jac: we live in the world where I kissed Savannah and she looked at me like I was the boy who assaulted Isabelle Jac: and that's how I feel about it, and I would rather pretend to be straight forever, and have no real friends again, than have to do that, and feel that disgust again Amelia: we live in a world that doesn't revolve around Savannah fucking Moore Amelia: because she doesn't accept you, you can't accept yourself? No Jac: it's not her fault Jac: the rules don't make no fucking sense Jac: do you know how often she told me she loved me, how beautiful I was, and smart and perfect and kind, that she wanted me in her life forever? Jac: but that doesn't mean she wants to kiss me Amelia: that's why it literally is her fault Amelia: she flirted with you more than I EVER have, or would dare to openly do because I would get called a predatory lesbian and she gets likes and follows Jac: but she meant it Jac: I know she did Jac: that's just friendship to her Jac: it's too confusing Amelia: you want her to have meant it the same way you did, like I wanted you to with me Jac: but I did Jac: I lied Jac: so I know it doesn't make a difference now Jac: but still, you weren't wrong and I did, I am, whatever Jac: it was shitty to lie, I know, I accept it Jac: but she meant it all but she is straight...how does that work Amelia: I don't know Amelia: straight people are weird Jac: I don't want to find that relatable Jac: I want to be normal Amelia: I'm not abnormal, shut up Jac: fine, straight Jac: I don't want to ever have to think about this ever again Amelia: why do you want it so bad? Jac: so I don't feel like this Jac: the not knowing Jac: how much it hurts Jac: boys are easy, I told you Amelia: because you don't like them Amelia: if you were straight you'd get hurt just the same Amelia: you said it, Valentina's no different than a lad Jac: lads just like me Jac: I've never kissed any lad and had them recoil Amelia: they liked me too, it doesn't mean I had to like them back Jac: I mean it's not the same Jac: if a lad didn't like me, he'd have reasons Amelia: loads of girls like you too, I was friends with them for a bit, I heard all that gossip Amelia: Savannah's reason is that she doesn't like girls, any of them Jac: but she loves me Jac: more than she ever did Ty, I fucking know it Amelia: not like that, like Is loved us Jac: I can't stand it Amelia: I know Jac: you know I am sorry Jac: don't you Amelia: yeah Jac: you just had come so far and had done so much work Jac: it wasn't fair Jac: what I did wasn't, but it wouldn't have been to act on it, when I wanted so badly to be straight, for everything I did tell you to be true Amelia: no, I was in exactly the same place that we left each other in Amelia: you're not the only one who can lie Jac: I'm just so sorry but that's worth fuck all Jac: I hate how stupid all of it seems now Jac: redundant Jac: but that's close to a fair punishment, I suppose Amelia: you've already been punished Amelia: and sorry always means something when it's a real one Jac: I feel Jac: I don't Jac: I'm broken Jac: I don't even want to be a person now Amelia: I don't want to find that relatable Amelia: but it is Jac: fuck's sake Jac: see, why would I choose this? Jac: even if they're weird, this never happens to straight people Amelia: of course it does Amelia: Savannah's parents are fucked Jac: just because they don't love each other no more Jac: when they got together, I'm sure they both knew Amelia: still, her mum's so broken she's barely a person Jac: all I'm saying is we're getting dangerously close to comparing being gay to a mental illness Jac: which is what homophobes say and I'm not trying to be the confirmation Amelia: it's not being gay, it's loving the wrong person Amelia: there are happy gays, I've met some Amelia: and your brother isn't being held back by it Jac: don't get me started Amelia: Jude's love life is messier than his Amelia: more dramatic Jac: he'll end up with a girl Amelia: you don't know that Jac: wait and see Amelia: yeah, I'll stalk him from afar like a fangirl Amelia: 🤢 Jac: it's not the same either Amelia: you love a competition Jac: yeah, this is so much fun Jac: him and Jude are the same Jac: it doesn't mean anything to them, so they aren't getting hurt Jac: they don't care, it's not serious Amelia: you've got me, we're very much the same Amelia: in this anyway Jac: I don't want to love anyone ever again Amelia: then don't Jac: that's why I have no friends Amelia: yeah well you don't need them, that's the line and the lie, right? Jac: it's not funny Jac: I can't be trusted Jac: with any kind of relationship with a girl Amelia: I'm not laughing because me either Amelia: I make bad choices and I'm proven stupid, remember Jac: it's so fucking isolating Amelia: school is anyway Amelia: we're all in boxes Jac: you never used to hate it this much Amelia: now you understand how much I hate everything Amelia: how exhausted I am Amelia: it'd be nice to have the solidarity if it wasn't so horrible Jac: I'm just trying to get used to it Jac: accept it Amelia: at least you don't have to see her every day Amelia: maybe that'll make it different Jac: I never get to see her again Amelia: you don't know that either Jac: I do Jac: she's unlikely to stop by when she's seeing her mum Amelia: you verbally recoiled from me, ruined my birthday, nobody would call it likely that we're talking Jac: naive optimism is exactly what got you here Jac: don't even need to scroll for the reminder Amelia: ouch Amelia: you always find new ways to hurt me Jac: you really did just say you made bad choices and were stupid Jac: continuing this conversation is just another one for the list, probably Amelia: I can say it and do so you don't need to Jac: alright, alright Amelia: you're blocked though, this is the only place you could try to Jac: I could make another post but the point has been made well enough I reckon Amelia: it's not my birthday now so there's no point Amelia: ⛅ Jac: sod you then Jac: don't want you getting the wrong impression Amelia: 😂 bit late for that Jac: yeah Amelia: my dad'll be up soon I'll just wait ☕ Amelia: don't need you to entertain me any further Jac: you gonna tell him about your shit birthday Amelia: I'll tell them both we broke up and they'll be thrilled Amelia: it's all they want to hear Jac: you can tell them it was my fault, it doesn't matter to me Amelia: why would I do that? Jac: dunno, but having someone else's parents take over and shout at me for a bit might be mildly entertaining Amelia: they think I'm over you, they want me to be better Amelia: I'm not going to ruin the lie Jac: rude Jac: but fine Jac: guess you don't owe me Amelia: no, I don't Jac: enjoy your coffee then Amelia: it'll taste disgusting like it always does Amelia: the biggest lie of all Jac: you aren't as exhausted and sad as you say you are Jac: the taste would've been acquired by now, you massive child Amelia: I've had to hide it longer than you Amelia: I'm just more skilled and hilarious Jac: so you're better at being sad? Jac: and I love a competition 🙄 Amelia: 😏 Amelia: I've acquired a taste for anything with a high enough alcohol content, there you go Jac: I was drunk before I got there and that was still apparent Amelia: haven't needed stitches yet Jac: that's something Jac: anyway, how'd you figure you've had to hide it longer? Amelia: because I have Amelia: you were sitting pretty on a ☁ with Savannah for ages Amelia: nothing could touch you up there Jac: that's where you're wrong Amelia: I'm not letting you win again Jac: 😏 Jac: it's not like I was fucking boys because I thought I wanted to Amelia: okay 🏆 no need to make me cry thinking about that Jac: they aren't that bad Jac: well, usually Jac: just not as interesting, it didn't make sense Jac: why we would waste time we could be together instead Amelia: it's really sad Amelia: as 💔 it was seeing you with lads, I thought it was at least what you wanted Jac: they aren't the ones that made me 💔 Amelia: I know but Amelia: I can't imagine doing that, or how it would make me feel if I thought I had to Jac: well you're much softer than I am Amelia: excuse me, it took you years to break me, Savannah did the same to you in 1 Amelia: you're not that hard Jac: I think that says more about Savannah than it does you Jac: but alright Amelia: right, because she's so perfect Amelia: I actually can't compete Jac: shut up Amelia: it's true Jac: it isn't that simple, I keep saying Amelia: it's as simple as you've already said, she's straight and I'm not Amelia: it was safer for you, except it wasn't Jac: you make it sound Jac: ugh Amelia: isn't it? Jac: you think I'm a right cold, calculating bitch Jac: and I'm not saying you're wrong but it was nice when you thought otherwise Amelia: we can't go back, you really drilled that into me Jac: I know Jac: oh well Amelia: oh well? that's the best you can do, yeah? Amelia: doesn't sound very calculating and well planned out Jac: because it's all over Jac: the only thing I've got left is uni and the career I want Jac: nothing else can or is going to exist Amelia: that's more than I've got Amelia: I haven't exactly been concentrating on my app Jac: well you're going to run away and find your Thelma aren't you Amelia: you ruined that fantasy with reality Jac: yeah right Jac: you're still a hopeless romantic Amelia: with a 🚗 I can't drive yet Jac: have you had any lessons yet Amelia: no Amelia: I keep asking my dad but he's always too busy Jac: go ask him now Amelia: I've drank too much to go now Jac: well duh but he'll feel so bad for you he'll make time tomorrow or whatever Amelia: and we're back to calculating Jac: someone has to if you wanna be wild and free Amelia: 😂 Jac: how early is it Jac: will the library be open Amelia: it's weird that the library is still open at any hour Amelia: you're literally the only person who ever goes there Jac: excuse me, only child Jac: you try and study with a house full of annoying kids and dogs Amelia: I'm fine with a 🏠 swap, I don't feel like studying Jac: yeah only if you make it permanent Amelia: you wouldn't take my guest room for a night, I don't think I'd be able to make that happen Jac: because you were there Amelia: rude Jac: sensible Amelia: nothing's going to happen Jac: yeah exactly Amelia: what does that mean? Jac: it means we aren't going to be friends Amelia: why not? Jac: I told you why Amelia: I'm not asking you to care about me, I'm saying I'm here for you Jac: No Jac: I wasn't joking when I said I can't have friends Amelia: I know you weren't Jac: that includes you Jac: especially you Amelia: okay Jac: okay Amelia: good morning then Jac: 👋