#why tf do i find it so embarassing then huh

[waluijoe]

tmblr's system of answering in the tags is so perfect to me cause wdym i have to answer to someone's public tweet by public tweeting underneath like i'm important and stuff. just so pple can read it, find me not funny or loveable at all, then ditch me and my children by not even pressing the stupid little Like button ? in My house ? on My public doorstep ? surrounded by millions ? no

[ma3mae]

MAEEE AAAA I NEED PART TWO OD YOUR "NO BRAIN, JUST HORNY" HC AKSJDJDDJ

Make a part two??🥺🫶Maybe Chuuya and Nikolai?

No brain, just horny! 2

Summary: Oh no! Your bf's acting all hot! What to do??? (Chuuya, Akutagawa, Nikolai, Fyodor)

Genre: fluff, crack, bit suggestive 🤓

Warnings: TO HORNY JAIL WITH YALL 💀✋

A/N: ANOONNN WKDJEKHFKS HERE U GO, SWEETIE 🤩🤩🤩 how can yall find rat man hot, idk man 💀 his parts rly short bc I CANT WRITE HIM so see it as a small extra 💀💀 not proofread btw 💀

Part 1

Nakahara Chuuya

😳 yall wanna get railed by this man, huh??

Cant blame u tho 💀😭 😭

honestly i think his reaction would prob depend on his mood, lowkey like rampo

Just that his reaction would be a bit more intense EHEH

idk if hes kinda busy at the moment and annoyed bc work is being a hoe, hed prob be all impatient like "Damn, doll. Im barely holding myself back as well so just wait a bit, will ya?"

As much as hed love to indulge u immediately, he still values his work yk 😔😔😔

ok yk what would be funny tho? Like he told u he'd be having a meeting at his work place and honestly, its not hard enough to know where it is bc its like legit one of the highest buildings (idk maybe even the highest???) in yokohama lmaoo

And you've been waiting for him to come back home after two weeks but noooo, he has to report everything to his boss 🤓🤓🤓🤓

so you're like "alright, im horny and been waiting for too long."Guess where we're going yall 😋😋😋😋???

TO HELL

Jk nah but we makin our way over there and lets just say they only know u as "the love of his life who def shouldnt be messed with if they wanna live" bc he'd go haywire AS HE SHOULD if anything happened to u 💀

Anyway we know when the meeting's being held so oopsie, we "accidentally" manage to find him in the hallway with some of his colleagues

"Oi, isn't that your girlfriend over there, Boss??" not only tachihara but everyone's confused on why u r even there??

Chuuya just whips his head around and doesnt know if he should just yeet himself outta the building or be happy to see you bc

YES

YES HE DID MISS YOU BUT WHY ARE YOU THEREEEE??💀💀💀💀💀💀😭😨

its especially bad if our boy still hasn't told you what hes actually doing bc no way in hell wants he to drag u into that shi 💀

Anyway you're just too excited so u ignore his to tomato face with a twitching eyebrow and you start to jog towards him but damn tf is that???

OF COURSE theres a bump sticking outta the carpet SMH SUE THE CLEANING STAFF😋

And obviously we all know whos gonna trip on that

But as embarassed as he is, your future hubby will make sure that you won't end up on the floor 💕💕

all you feel is a slight gust of wind and you can only open your eyes to see his gorgeous ones

"Don't just fall for me every time you see me, doll." LMAO thats so corny and he actually gets even more red when he realises wtf he just spouted out of his mouth but he couldnt help it 😭

Especially when hes holding you bridal style in his arms and you can feel him subconciously squeeze you tighter against him bc he missed his wifey

and we are just too whipped to stop ourselves from saying "Chuu chuu, i just couldnt wait anymore. Can we move this to our place? I'll be anything you want, even just a hole for you, mkay?"

HAHAHAHA WHY ARE WE LIKE THIS 💀

thats the EXACT question that goes through his mind as he just stares at you like 😳

But he cant deny that it made him feel hot, even down there a bit...

"Come in when you're done, Chuuya." is all you hear from HIS fking boss as he just sends the both of you a smile as he enters the room before closing the door

Help our man, hes so TORN

All he can do is take a deep breath, trying to stop his face from heating up bc its already hot enough as it is

He'll gently set you down but still keeps a secure grip around your waist with one arm

His gloved hand tilts your face slightly up and all you see is a sea of blue

Letting his gloved thumb slowly glide on your bottom lip

"You really like teasing me. Dont'cha sweetheart? Just give me 15 minutes and then we'll be at home. Honestly might scold you for your little stunt but it's not like you don't like that, right? But I gotta say...."

cherry sweet lips lock onto yours for what seems like only a second before feeling them on your forehead

"I did miss you pretty much...and I'll make it up to you. Thanks for your patience, love."

now YOU'RE the one who's face is about to explode and that annoying ass smirk of his isnt even helping u but oh well

He should be lucky that you're so in love with him and that his handsome looks always manage to hold you back from yelling at him out of embarassement 💀😳

He gives you a peck on the lips before giving you on last squeeze

"Only a little bit longer, okay? Will give you a proper kiss when we're at home."

He makes his way back but stops "Also I love you but please... wait at home next time. No need for anyone to see your cute ass here. Only mine to look at, yk.." the last part kinda gets muffled under his breath as he tilts his fedora down to hide his heated face but welp, ofc u heard everything 😋

Anyway, you let him go to his meeting with a wave with ur hand bc he did promise to make it up to you and your body would be tingling with excitement until yall get back home for yk what 😋😋😋💅

Akutagawa Ryunnosuke

ngl he'd make a similar expression to this pic here 💀 like hes fking constipated or smth

Give my man some time pls bc its his first relationship and he needs some minute to get it through his head that you feel sexually attracted enough to him to yearn for him, broo

"Can't you just... wait until we get home? Why now?" SKKSKS you think he sounds so pissed but hes just so confused 💀😭😭

lmao just came up with a ridiculous scenario

idk some random wannabe gang is stirring up some trouble in yokohama

And how do u resolve this problem as fast as u can?

By sending one of ur best men there who legit just slices them all in mere secs 😋

but wait whats that?

"Are you fucking kidding me?"

You just stare wide eyed at your boyfriend as he stands there infront of the mall, choking the living shit out of what seems to be some weird thug

"Ryu, what are you doing here?"

He just clicks his tounge out of annoyance and casually tosses the man to the side as he makes his way towards you

Stopping infront of you, you only see his furrowed eyebrows and the annoyed look on his face

But if you look closely, you'll see a glimpse of worry in them💕

"I could ask you the same thing. Didn't I telll you to stay at home? And specifically to not enter this area?"

You can only sheepishly laugh at his words and the huff at your answer wasnt that helpful

"Well, the mall here had your favorite tea on sale and I really wanted to surprise you with it!"

He just puts a hand on his face as you peek over his shoulder, only seeing whips and bits of rashomon dealing with the thugs while you boyfriend seems somehow unbothered by their presence, hell he was legit not even aknowledging them at this point 💀

"Let me just finish this real quick and then I'll take you home."

"But I still have t-"

A glare from him immediately zipped your mouth shut, deeming it unnecessary to argue with him any further since he could be very very stubborn

"Just stay behind me and wait."

If you had to be honest, watching your bf just casually beat the shit out of 20 or more men without even breaking a sweat made you feel really hot

He might be stoic, blunt or whatever everyone would call him but at the end of the day, he'd make sure you're well protected and cared for, even if it would take some nudges from you to guide him

He was a fast learner after all in every aspect of your relationship

And it wasn't until he poked your forehead that you snapped out of your trance, your face beet red and only for him to raise an eyebrow at you

"Don't tell me you got sick from just being outside for a bit? I really don't know how someone frail like you had managed to live for so long."

Harsh words yet the gentle press of his hand against your forehead was telling a different story

"Hm, you aren't heating up that much. But I'll still be taking you home."

"Can you stay with me then? Because honestly, watching that fight somehow made me really horny."

🤨 > 😳

"Are you kidding me? How does watching me beat the shit out of some random wannabe thugs make you horny?"

You can only groan at his answer but couldn't keep the smirk on your lips from growing as you noticed the red hue on his cheeks

"It's just hot to see how easy it was for you to just casually fend of all of them. Not to mention, that it's always nice to have a reminder what a strong and reliable lover I have. I'm just really lucky, I guess"

Ah, you smart vixen.

Always using his praise kink for your advantage and oh boy, he knows

But he just can't help his rising pulse at what your words just do to him

"W-Why-? Y-You-???"

Suddenly he grabbing your hand, he turns his body away from you, only his back in your sight as he continues to walk

"Ryu, are we walking ba-"

"Told you I'm taking you home. Someone has to make sure nothing happens to you since you probably wouldn't even know how to defend yourself."

"Aah, I see. Well I'll be sure to thank you properly when we're at home." ��🤩

A hitched breath and his grip tightening around your hand really made it difficult not to laugh at him

Well, atleast it was nice knowing that you weren't the only one eager to get home asap 💀💀

At the end, you thanked him as promised and he made sure to make you feel safe as always

"Oh, thank you for the tea... I guess.." he'd mumble in your ear as he pressed your back against his chest, his arms tucked comfortably around you. 🤭

Nikolai Gogol

erm 😨 how about no?

Do u not value life?

Jk but his goofy ass would NEVER let u rest if u even show him a tiny bit on how horny you are 💀💀💀💀

bro's like "ew human desires, they only bind u" lowkey (not as hard as fyodor but yk what i mean)

but hes sadly down bad for his future or maybe already wifey so 😉 how could he 😉 say no 😉

like idk lets say for whatever reason u r also part of their rat gang 💀 and its honestly a big headache to endure his weird and annoying antics every day

But thats what made u fall in love bc u have bad taste 😋😋😋 same tho

is prob gonna tease u about that too like "Oh, Y/N~ So many men out there and yet you still chose me?? Either you're just very desperate or you just don't care at all! But don't worry, I'm more than happy to be the one who's on your mind all day 🤩🤩🤩" he says as he's casually bombing a whole building and kills hundreds of people 🤩

Thats for sure gonna be blowing ur mind for weeks 💀 IM SORRY

throw him into a trash can or smth 💀 jkjk maybe im not 💀💀

anyway back to the scenario 💀

lets say hes as always acting like the 🤡 he is and disrupting everyone's life by being plain annoying

Ok so fyodor threatened to kill him for the 100th time? Check.

Sigma's crying in his office bc he just escaped random pairs of scissors flying at him for the whole day? Check. someone has to cut that atrocious hair away, okur💀💀💀

Getting hit by gf after randomingly stealing kisses from her?

Che-

"But why won't you let me kiss you, Y/N????"

Dodging his attempts for what would seem the 30th time for the day, you hastily continued to make your way to Sigma, a box of self made cookies in your hand.

"You've been harassing everyone for the entire day as always! And don't get me started on what you tried to do to Sigma!"

You could only hear a whine as fast footsteps tried to outrun yours, you wanting nothing but wanting to somehow lift Sigma's spirits up since no one else would make their time to comfort him after the inhuman pranks your boyfriend couldn't refrain from doing

"But he's just so funny, you know! How could anyone resist not teasing him all day?!"

"Teasing doesn't mean endangering his life! Only because YOU don't like his hair!"

"Hmm, but won't you atleast give me one kiss before you go?"

"nope, never. Bye!"

Aah, you really shouldn't have challenged him 😨

"Well, then I guess you won't be needing that then!"

"Huh?"

A

"NIKOLAI GOGOL?! GIVE ME THE FUCKING BOX BACK!!" only hearing maniacal cackling quickly distancing itself from you, as he ran away with the box in his hand

Ah, he really was blessed with the perfect ability for him

Too stubborn and annoyed to realise his intentions, you quickly followed him, the urge of wanting to punch him pulling you towards him like a magnet

"A chase is what he wants? Okay, he'll get it." 😋😋

Knowing immediately that he made it too easy for the both of you as he nonchalantly laid on your shared bed, crumbs on his cheeks as he enjoyed your cookies, his mask casually laying next to him.

"You are more than an annoying child, you know that?"

"Yep but I don't care! Also how dare you only make cookies for your friend when you've got such a loving partner like me!"

A groan slipped out of you as you walkes over to him, earning yourself a "HEY?!" as you snatched the box away from him

"If you wanted some, you could have just asked like a normal person. I wouldn't have minded sharing some and Sigma probably not."

"Ugh, like a normal person? You know that's just boring~ buuuut if you really want me to then-"

You felt a pull at your wrist, making your chest hitting his as you landed on top of him, affectively stradling him

Both of your hands at the side of his head as you tried to lift yourself up, yet the arm around your waist stopping you, your faces only mere inches away from each other

A smirk splayed on his face as he wiped the crumbs away from his lips with his gloved thumb

Pressing it softly against your lips, the movement ingrained in your body as you opened them without any protest

a low chuckle at your cute actions as you licked the crumbs of his thumb before releasing it with a soft 'pop'

"Is that normal enough for you, my dove?"

Not letting the heat on your face and body stop you from throwing remarks at him, you merely stated "That wasn't asking, just plain seduction at this point."

Letting his eyes trail over your body and the hands next to him, tightly clutching the sheets only spurred him further on.

"Well, I've got your attention now, right?"

"You're lucky that I love you."

"Isn't it good to know we're both obesessed, dearie?"

A whine left his lips as you tucked at his hair at that statement, grazing your teeth across his neck before harshly biting on it.

"Well, then end what you've started then."

"Gladly."

Getting hit by Y/N after randomingly stealing kisses from them? Hair pulled, make out sessions and more after annoying them? Double Check.

Fyodor Dostojevski

💀 im dead, you're dead, we're all DEAD

ok jk he wouldnt kill u bc even if he wont admit it immediately, he loves u 😋

but why would u feed his annoying god complex like that 😨😨

but guess what 😋 youve always had bad taste so why not be together with a terrorist 🤩

Ur only dates would be either sitting in his stinky room full of computers as hes been sitting there for days and you're chilling on his lap

or yall actually go outside to ruin someone's life 💅

and honestly, what better way to confirm that humans r horrible af when he sees you get turned on by his horrid acts 💀💀💀

"I just took a life infront of your very eyes and all you say is how hot that is? Well, aren't you ruined to the point of return? But that's what makes you so interesting, I guess."

UGHH IDK HOW YALL CAN LOVE HIM 💀💀💀

i think it would be rly difficult to actually turn him on as well at first

Or catch him off guard tbh bc all you'd get is a condescending smirk of him just teasing you

He'll prob also just call u out about how horny you are but its ok bc he loves having that effect on you 🤩

"Is it seeing someone's eyes lose their light? Killing the gifted because the world would be purer without them? Tying them up and choking the life out of them? Or is it because I am the one doing these acts? Planning it all out, only for you to witness it? How about I'd do it to you, hmm?"I FEEL ITCHY AFTER WRITING THAT 💀

tbh it depends how "horny" u r tbh bc he'd prob make you beg for it first by just telling u off n stuff until you cant take ir anymore

Like if you want him then SHOW him how much you want him 🤩

he prob has not that much of a stamina but he'd make up for it with technique what am i writing rn😭😭😭😭

anyway you'd def be satisfied but he'd prob make you work for it first before tending to ur "needs"

im crying i hate this

😭

A/N: DAMN already hit 400 followers?? thinking of maybe doing smth for that, idk what tho. Got too many ideas 💀 and lmao sorry for the radio silence 💀 writers block and life, we love it.

[tscmu]

Some headcanons for the Hq boys and how they propose to their s/o?

HI YES THIS IS THE KIND OF STUFF I LOVE WRITING ABOUT PLS okay so u didnt really specify which boys so im gonna go for ones that i can picture proposing that sounded weird ok-

characters; koushi sugawara, satori tendou, kenma kozume, osamu miya + tooru oikawa oK LETS GO

koushi sugawara

- pls he’d make it so heartfelt and meaningful HHH I LOVE HIM~ - he’d want to make you feel how much he loved you, like actually feel it in your heart - i feel like he’d tell a FEW people, probably only get daichi to help AHAHAH - bruh asahi would probably have a mental breakdown and tanaka would snitch💔💔 - but he’d have an idea of what you both wanted i think, you wouldve spoken it over before defos - he’d want it to not be that public, just the two of you - so it’d be at like a hiking trail you both go on or something, a place that means loads to both of you but isn’t there for the world to see - and then...…came the day - he knew how much you picked up on little details so he had to be sneak sneak ten thousand™ - “hey, wanna go out on that one walk up *insert name of place idk*? ok ok ok i’ll get ur coat sugar” - EEEEEEEEEEE - he was trying his absolute best to keep it together - he knew you’d most likely say yes, so he wasn’t TOO scared, but it was still SCARY LIKE- - and then u got to the place he wanted to propose - it was this place where you always stopped, where there was a little bench (with your initials STILL carved into it from all those years ago) and it looked out over a nice view - “ooh, can we stop here again!” “u-huh i was actually gonna ask-” - bro he almost forgot the speech daichi read over to him about 20 times - but HE DID IT WOOOO - he didn’t want to make a MASSIVE deal out of it, the wedding would be more important to him but he still wanted to make you know how much he adored you - speech included lots of memories dating even back to before hed even SPOKEN to you i stg this man - AND U SAID YES!!! u have no choice. u did.

satori tendou

- i feel like he’d be kINDA similar to suga?? - a little less caring - he’d never actually pictured himself getting married tbf- - he never thought he’d actually find the right person so he just....gave up idk - BUT THEN YOU CAME INTO HIS LIFE- - even with you he hadn’t really thought about marriage, he was just focused on having fun with you, but then ushijima was like ‘...so, tendou. when is the wedding commencing between you and y/n.” and he just- - it was actually when they were sitting there he started to plan it - ushijima would SEEM like the worst person to go to, but he was actually quite good at this stuff - so in about 2 hours sat at the back door of tendou’s work, they had sketched out a sort of plan on the back of a spare napkin - there was one main thing he knew he wanted to talk about - how you always stuck by him, no matter what he did - he thought he’d seriously fucked up, and you would be back at his door the next day, smiling and chattering about this new café you heard opened down the road - god, he was terrified to even mention paris to you, but you were so up for the idea, it took him by shock - he didn’t take you for granted - so for once, he wanted to make you feel loved - they couldn’t think of a place to take you for ages, but then it hit them - you and tendou always went to wakatoshi’s games, ever since high school you both always made the commute if you had the time - and ushijima had a game coming up in two weeks...…. - when he mentioned it OFC U WERE DOWN PLS, you loved going back to japan - like ofc france was incredible but......... it was just lovely to see everyone again ;-; - since youd been there so much, you basically just got to stand right at the side of the court AHAHAH - so they won the game. obviously. its ushi and kags we’re talking abt here. are you kidding. then tendou started acting weird, which made u hella sus - it was the first time in what felt like years you’d seen him so...nervy - he kept fumbling over his words, you had to yell at him to speak up - but eventually he did it - he spoke abt how much you meant to him, how you made him more comfortable in his own body, how you stuck by him through everything - AND U SAID YES. AGAIN, U HAVE NO CHOICE. - and yes ushi and kags started cheering and the news outlets put u on the news i dont make the rules ok

kenma kozume

- ok mans is TERRIFIED - he’d quite genuinely never thought about marriage, throughout his years with you by his side it just...never crossed his mind - but it was when you were lying in bed one night, his arm dangled over you as you both drifted in and out of sleep - and it just hit him - why the fuck were you both still like this? - marriage was something you always expressed a love for, when kuroo got married you were basically in a trance the whole time - how was he so unaware? - people described kuroo’s proposal as pretty much perfect, he’d always been good at reading his partner, so he just used that knowledge to make something he knew they’d like - so, to kenma’s extreme distaste, he went to kuroo - oh my god kuroo fucking c r i e d - kenma was finally ‘growing up’ - so after about an hour of kuroo sobbing, they finally got down to business - after lots of.. lets say elaborate ideas from kuroo, and lots of no's from kenma, they finally came to a sort of compromise - since you and kuroo worked in the same department, he would text you on saturday simply asking if you wanted to catch coffee and talk about that one assignment - obviously, you said yes - not thinking anything of it, you just pulled on a jumper and jeans AHAH- - then you notice,,,why tf is he taking u to a beach at 7pm in march???? - #serialkillerkurooheadcanons - but u see kenma and ur like... wtf have u gotten yourself into- - have they been possessed?? who knowz - and then u get BLINDFOLDED LIKE WHAT - but then u snap back down to earth like why would they kidnap u- - as kuroo takes it off, kenma’s quite literally shaking - poor babie - he never really knew how to explain his thoughts properly, so the speech wasn’t anything extremely dramatic and/or romantic - but he did in a way tell you how much you meant to him - he spoke abt how you boost his confidence, have always been there whenever he needed you, and how you seem to always understand him when he’s being at his most blunt - therefore he thinks you’re his soulmate - PLSPLSPL IM CRYING

osamu miya

- i think he always knew he wanted to marry you - atsumu always embarassed him about it- - it got to the point you didn’t actually think he’d propose, you would just wake up one day and a wedding dress would be on the door - but it got to the point where tsumu was mentioning it significantly more when you went over for dinner - mama miya was always telling you how happy she was that samu picked you - even your own parents were being oddly warmer towards samu, whenever they phoned they asked how he was, etc etc - so you knew something was up - samu was always really polite to your parents, asked their permission before he even took you out on a date - ironic because you lived together but still- - so turned out, he actually mentioned proposing to you to them - they adored him for gods sake so of course they said yes - then tsumu thought he was acting weird, so he told his side - jesus christ they freaked out - his parents were always nervous about atsumu, who slept with random people on the weekends, and hadn’t been in a proper relationship since middle school - you were basically their god send AHAHA - so it was a massive deal when he wanted to marry you - it would appear that he didn’t really care, but in honesty it meant the wholeass world to him - like suga, he’d go for a location that meant a lot to both of you - christmas was a huge deal for both your families, they both came together and you had an incredible time - and last year some of the jackals came over, which was just hilarious - so what better time than christmas with your loved ones around you??? - it started off like a normal christmas, you had an incredible dinner ( cooked by none other than osamu ((with atsumu and bokuto attempting to sabotage it but just burning their hands on the pot)) ) then all played some games - but it was when you were all watching the basic christmas tv programmes when the atmosphere... changed - everyone was looking at you and samu, even sakusa looked excited - it was when his father muted the tv, and samu took your hand, your heart was basically beating out your chest. - he spoke about how he felt like, for the entirety you’d been together for, every day he seemed to fall more in love with you. you were like his rock, when things were even a bit off he could just come to you and you’d automatically make him happier even just by looking at you - bruh bokuto and hinata were sobbing in the corner

tooru oikawa

- surprising, but he never thought about marriage - he just kind of assumed he’d be one of those people that would be in a relationship for like a week then just.. move on to another person idk - that was until he ran into you - everyone, even his own parents, said he was a different person when he started dating you - it was ironic, you were quite similar to him - yet you made him rethink his fucking morals  - it was sappy asf - ANYWAY BACK TO THE TOPIC AT HAND - he took this proposal really seriously, he wanted it to be the best moment of your whole life - until the wedding ofc ofc - since you’d basically changed him as a person, he wanted this to just show his appreciation for everything you’d ever done for him - he wanted you to feel his love - and so he set about preparing a good proposal - he’d be like osamu, and definitely ask your parents first - your parents loved him anyway, they thought he was the best thing that’d happened to you for a long while - he basically knew what he wanted to do - nothing too public, but nothing too quiet - whats the point of proposing if some people dont see am i right??? - sometimes when you both either a) needed a break or b) you both had a period of time where you were free, you both just booked an impromptu holiday AHAHHA - #richkidtingz - so obvs he had to do it on one of them... it was ur thing after all?? - it was when you walked in the door, face red, and flopped down on the sofa next to him, he grasped the opportunity - “..got any spare holidays from work?” - you quickly went on a travel agent website and booked a three day holiday to brazil, leaving the next morning - it was one of your favourite places to just escape to, so it made sense for him to propose there tbf - it was as you both woke up the first morning there, still sleepy from the night before, you grinned at eachother. - “hey.. get ready quick, i wanna do something.” “wHAT-” - he didn’t actually know where to do it, he just called a taxi and asked for your favourite high street HAHAH - after about an hour of browsing around shops, your hand never out of his, you finally asked ‘what did you want to do?’ - his breathing almost stopped i stg, he didn’t realise how scared he was - but then... HE DID IT POGGERS - he stuck to what he knew he wanted to speak about, making you sob in the process ofc - and even all the locals congratulated you!!!

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HI THIS IS SO LONG IM SORRY BUT I LOVED WRITING IT PLS!! THANK U FOR REQUESTING da box is always open mwah