#why tf did I start role-playing with myself

[baby-mushy]

I think I might make a CG oc before Mushy steals another pacifier 😃

"You'll never stawp me!" - 🍄🍼

mhm...sure Mushy.

[p.s I'm gonna go get this tot a pacifier]

[sweetlittletangerine]

Why Queenie Exists or something

Hey there! So I don’t really know how to put together this theory in a cohesive way and I made this for fun, so keep that in mind if I jump around a bit.

But I’ve had this theory for a long time now, and the fact Kinger is one of the two characters getting major focus in the next ep has just hyped me up even more. (Guess who my favorite is you’ll never guess it.)

So… as a not-so-normal Kinger fan, there’s a certain someone else who’s been rattling around in my brain for a while too.

Yes. She.

My theory is about why she even exists in the first place from a narrative standpoint. I have many other theories but this one feels like one of my most concrete ones (imo ofc), So I thought I’d share it before ep 3 comes out, even if it won’t come out for a while. I mean, it’s very possible this is the ep we learn about her since I don’t think she’s gonna be very relevant for any other character’s stories outside of Kinger.

ANYWHO time to get to the theory itself.

So let’s start off with one question. (Well it’s two, but same deal.) Why does Kinger get a look-a-like? Why not the others? Hell, Gangle exists and she has the whole ‘comedy tragedy mask’ thing going on.

Well it’s simple, he’s been there the longest. I personally don’t believe he’s the first player to join the game, but he’s been there the longest out of our main cast (Of humans). So naturally, that brings up another question… how did he last so long?

This is where Queenie comes into play. She’s important in understanding why Kinger hasn’t abstracted yet, which would tell us, the viewers, how a person can prolong their abstraction.

So for starters, I 100% believe without a doubt the reason these two look so similar is because they entered the circus at the same time. This means they started off with the same level of “girl where tf am I” When they arrived.

Second, when you compare and contrast their appearances, you realize that their differences… don’t actually affect how their bodies function. (Assuming the bottom half of Queenie is like Kinger.) So, they also came into the game with the same body when it comes to how they work. They had to adjust to the same new features in the same environment.

So when you combine these two factors, they were basically given the same tools to work with to survive (for as long as they can).

But the most important part of this… is their personalities. I love the theory that the chess pieces they became are tied to their personalities, with people connecting how Kinger’s personality relates to the role of the king in chess. (For those that don’t know, the king is the weakest piece and the queen is the strongest.) People have used this as a base to figure out who Queenie could’ve been. But if this is true then that wouldn’t be all. When you think about the role and power of each piece, you realize they’re opposites. So the bottom line here is that they’re very different people.

This impacts how they process and adapt to their new environment. And this is why Queenie abstracted and Kinger hasn’t. Some people truly are more adaptable than others in the circus. Queenie couldn’t handle the place as well as Kinger, making her lose her mind and abstract first.

Hell, we can already see something about Kinger’s personality that could’ve helped him out. I think the fandom (including myself) overestimated how much of a scaredy cat he is. The more I think about it, the more I realize that he’s not afraid of the adventures. He’s afraid of the circus itself, which is probably tied to his trauma.

(I’m aware it’s only been two episodes, but the only time we’ve seen him panic during an adventure is when an abstracted Kaufmo entered the Gloink Queen’s nest, suddenly making the adventure way more dangerous.)

You could argue he’s so chill on them because of experience, learning that at the end of the day if someone gets hurt or lost, Caine can snap his fingers and bring them back to normal. There’s pain, but no serious harm.

However, maybe he learned this a lot sooner than we think, back when he was adapting to his digital life. He internalized the fact that he’s not going anywhere sooner/better than Queenie, and was able to ‘go with the flow’ better than her. Who knows, maybe Queenie avoided going on adventures, (wink wink nudge nudge to a character Kinger is oddly fond of in the group), which gave her more time to think about her situation and mental state. The adventures are a surprisingly effective distraction from all of that.

If the story itself is supposed to focus on why the characters are the way they are, then it’s going to focus on the characters as individuals. And considering the fact Kinger and Zooble’s characters are heavily tied to their identities, that’s probably going to be one of the main themes of ep 3. So it makes sense that the reason Kinger lasted longer is tied to who he is and how he copes with the world around him (both now and back then.) This would, by extension, explore the fact that Queenie was her own person too, and now that that person is gone. The abstracted characters were all people, people who lost themselves as they went mad, leading to their inevitable abstractions.

So uh, I guess that’s all for now. Posting things online scares me so idk if I’ll post more things like this, but I might. If you read through this whole thing, then thanks!

Back into the pit I go

[laurfilijames]

Heyyyy love! Okay, Idk if you have spoken about this before but what inspired you to write Breathe? Other than Will being scrumdelicious. But how long did it take you to think up the idea of it and then get it into writing ?? 😇

I actually haven't ever been asked this and I've been so excited to answer it despite how long it's been sitting in my inbox (I'm sorrrryyyyyyyyy 😭)

Long story short; the first time I watched Triple Frontier I KNEW I needed to write for Captain William ‘Ironhead’ Miller and the moment he stepped onto that stage, he owned every part of me.

To make the story longer; Charlie once again was so captivating playing his role and added so much depth to his character and gave more than enough to embellish on.

Will Miller is seriously my idea of a perfect man.

Looks? Check.

Military personnel? Check.

Wounded Warrior (mentally and physically)? Check.

Strong and masculine? Check.

Devoted to his duty and brothers (in the literal sense as well, hi Benny 👋🏻). Check.

Able to keep his shit together (mostly, also see; Benny). Check.

I'll stop myself before I get too carried away because I can go on forever as to all the reasons why I love this man.

So after the first time I watched it, I immediately started it over and watched it again.

And then again.

And again.

It was like an epiphany. I HAD to write for Will Miller.

I'd say by the next day, I already had plans to write for him, and the main premise of Breathe was noted down in a mish-mash of thoughts in a document.

I knew Will would be suffering long-term with his PTSD and reader would be helping through it all while they fell in love (hello, hurt/comfort 🤤).

I had just started my own gym journey at the time and was obsessed with being there and feeling good and was discovering how difficult training can be. (Still to this day when I'm struggling with something at the gym I imagine the TF boys and everything they've gone through, and picturing a sweaty, pumped-up Will is all the fuel I need to push myself). To me, it all plays in with Will’s character so much and knowing Charlie is so dedicated to physical activity whether for himself or for a role, it helped to inspire this idea of reader and Will hitting it off between sets 🥵

When I wrote the first chapter I really wasn't sure if it would successfully turn into a series. I had ideas of course (and smut to fulfill!) but it was a quick 1.8k that was sort of “take it or leave it” and was my intro to writing for the Charlie fandom. Dipping my toes if you will.

And then the second chapter came. And then the third quickly after.

I was hooked.

I wrote four chapters that I was so proud of and then my muse went in other directions (Jax, Jay and Pete were lurking) and then it took me a few days shy of a year to make the next update.

I had a few encouraging friends to help that next chapter happen and now the series has exploded with interest and I am in constant awe at the response!

I've really pushed myself with expanding on plot and adding a level of angst I never have before, and I only have my friends and readers to thank for being so enthusiastic about it and helping inspire me as I go. 💗

I have plans to finish the series within a chapter or two, something I’ve never done in my writing career (the thought is so bittersweet 🥲) but most of my stand-alone Will fics can easily tie in to this story, and I know I will always write for him even after this story is ‘completed’.

I'm not sure if this is at all the answer you were looking for 😅 but I'm so grateful for you asking it and again I'll apologize for taking so long to answer! I just love this series and talking about it always breathes (lol) new life into it and keeps me motivated to keep going!

THANK YOU!! 😘💗

[yrrtyrrtwhenihrrthrrt]

Fun fact about my agender ass I fully believed that gender identity did not exist until I was like fourteen

Like I had not experienced it so I assumed nobody else had. Now I know that gender, the gender binary, gender roles, are all social constructs, but from my understanding, gender identity isn't. Many many people are born with a gender identity in their brain, and sometimes it is the one they are expected to have, and sometimes it isn't, and sometimes it changes over time, and sometimes it develops over time, but most people have some gender identity in some way.

I, as well as some other people, just, don't.

And I had no way of knowing that anyone else experienced this. I really thought it was just a game everyone agreed to play. You get assigned a blue pinny or a yellow pinny in gym class and that's that. It kinda sucks but that's the game. It's not like "blue pinny" is a part of your identity, it's just an arbitrary assignment. You might wish you were on the yellow pinny team, because they get a head start in the dodgeball game, but you don't identify as a yellow pinny team member. And that is exactly how I saw, and still see my own gender.

And I have to apologize for this but this resulted in, when I was young, transphobia. It wasn't the violent kind you often see today, but it was dismissive and distasteful. Obviously I'm not proud of it. But I thought "how the fuck can you identify as a gender aside from your AGAB? Nobody "identifies" as anything you just take the assignment and go so ObViOuSlY it's made up." And I was talking to my sister about this and was like "I mean if you woke up in an alternate universe where you were a man, it would be no issue at all, right? I mean aside from having to get used to different body parts and being treated differently, it would be fine" and she was like "no???? Tf??? I'd be really upset!"

And that right there rocked my fucking shit and turned my world upside down. Anyway I learned a lot since then and I support everyone and their gender identities now, obviously, as it was over a decade ago. I realized that "I guess I'm a girl because I was born that way and I don't care enough to change it, even though I literally hate being perceived as a girl I'd hate being perceived as any other gender just as much" doesn't actually make me cis (shock!!) This is also why I much prefer the term agender to nonbinary. I've been asked if I'm nonbinary when I say I'm agender, and I know some agender people identify as nonbinary (power to you!) But to me, "non-binary" feels like a gender identity that is. Well. Nonbinary lol. It's like asking an atheist "so you have a non-Abrahamic faith?" Like no they don't have any faith at all. I don't have any gender identity at all. That's how I see it anyway.

But all this to say being agender is weird. And while I'm about as allo as they come, I can relate to asexual people in a lot of ways.

It's like there are these boxes and everyone else can see them, and everyone else can exist in them comfortably, and sometimes people have to change the shape of their box but at the end of the day, it'll fit them. But I can't see the boxes, yet I've been put inside one, and everyone else can see it. I don't want to change the shape of my box, it wouldn't make a difference. I just don't want to be in this box at all. I can't see it, I keep bumping into the walls. I'm glad when the boxes make other people happy, but all I want is to get rid of it. And while it's freeing to identify as agender within myself, to start using any pronouns instead of exclusively she/her, I know that everyone else can still see the box. If they didn't see me as a woman, they'd just see me as something else, some other box, and that's not any better.

And I'm so tired.

[m1ckeyb3rry]

He looks so squishable omg LMAO THE HORSE SHIT BUT CLOUDIE IS SUCH A CUTE NAME TOO SJDHSJS this is giving me horse fever

LMAOOO truly the new bar: what tier of cupcakes are they willing to buy if it’s not insanely expensive it’s a no

OHHH ok lowk I don’t think I paid attention to that part of the gameplay in Oras which is probably why I don’t remember LMAO but YES THAT DUDE

HAHAHA it’s ok I laughed at myself it happens too often atp

Pause rough and tumble yuki….rough and tumble yuki??!!! Where was this idea all my life….wait that fr would’ve cooked wtf that would also be sooo interesting to merge tgt with him being religious plus his guilt etc etc the potential….abt to turn yuki into an oc /j

But FR im crying jjk rlly a shit show BUT idk if you saw YUTA CONFIRMED ALIVE WE ALL CHEERED but tbh who really is watching/consuming BLLK for the plot alone let’s be real

NO BECAUSE aiku coming back later on as an addition to the defense lineup or team in general or playing some kinda role Lowk would’ve been a lot more enjoyable for me…like why are you throwing him in with the bllkers NOW (not just because of oaeu has me cracking up) I completely agree like he should’ve left and come BACK LATER I would’ve totally ate up future rival aiku….the potential…alas….

AHAHAHA we’re linked up fr can’t leave out those hair wax jokes but omg him finding reader with Barou’s corpse first has me crying /sad I love how you actually thought out the usability of the teams though because when I played I DEFINITELY just went with whatever pokemon I liked regardless of typing and stats LMAOOK

Karasu screaming at her is so real LMAOA reminds me of him yelling at people during the bowling/Shibuya outing chapter LOL I’m trying to think of a rare water type pokemon but atp I’m just gonna google because I definitely didn’t read the dex entries in depth the first one that comes to mind is feebas though but tbh thats kinda just in the same boat as magikarp so er (clampearl maybe….? Or maybe skrelp idk dragalge seems pretty cool comparatively so) ok wait while I’m looking at water types anyone know the lore behind phione and manaphy why am I just realizing they aren’t related evolution wise pause im now realizing that it didn’t have to be a rare water type which makes more sense i somehow read somewhere that “reader fishes out a rare pokemon (from the sea) and trades that” but if that were the case she could’ve just kept it to fulfill the water type requirement idk what i was thinking going w this uh

REAL the evil govt secretly silencing the voices of anyone who disagrees…guys the world is building fr we just cracked the code behind the champion situation too (reps dad being bribable is so real)

LMFAOOOO IM CRYING “yeah we got bored and went to the moon nbd”

LMAOAO the “i know a guy” trope is so real and so iconic im crying they go find hiori and he’s like “oh yeah my bad that’s my pokemon the size of a small sky scraper she’s harmless” (id imagine its in aurorus form for this to be funny) last time i remember aurorus was from the show and from what I remember of it trying to protect amaura i can also imagine it being protective of hiori and almost freezing mc’s teams asses off LMAOOOO (“it don’t bite” “YES TF IT DO”) you’re getting me too invested in this first it was oaeu now pokemon au i fear this cooks too hard….

You see my first thought was also Barou but for logistical reasons that’s a no here pause gagamaru cooking (literally)!!! Imagine he starts making them just like in the forest or out in the tall grass so people think it’s sketchy (kinda like some food trucks yk) but turns out his stuff is all natural AND fire (ness having low nutrient poffins is so real)

AIKU GARY HAHAHA that just reminds me of Gary’s cheerleaders and the cheer/chant they had for him I’m crying imagine aiku had one

OH SHDGSHSHS I never had an aegislash jn game so that explains why idk the lore LMAO (I did have a friend who swore by it and constantly hyped up its stats though, fr doing like aegislash promotion) Nagiy/ns number one shipper aegislash!!! LMAOO stop this could actually cook as a pokemon anime season wtf someone get game freak and whoever animates pokemon in here rn….reader jumpscaring Nagi in their next battle with aegislash is so funny

I’ll never not be amazed by how much content you can churn out wtf I usually see people writing like three fics just the time you’ve done fifteen and as we’ve already discussed your fics are LONG I’m fr imagining that Justin Bieber gif rn (I’m not even kidding I think of the phrase “doing gods work” and then that gif and audio pop up so congrats you’ve definitely been cemented in with that LMAOO) but SAME love our yap sessions!!

- Karasu anon

RIGHT IT’S LITERALLY PERFECT FOR HIM brooo ponies specifically always have the cutest names…the pony i learned to ride on way back when i was like 11 was named sugar 🥹 and then the ponies i learnt to jump on were named candy and penny like TELL ME THAT’S NOT ADORABLE 😭😭😭 horses usually don’t have such cutesy names sadly but some of them are mad majestic (i’ve known horses named zeus, palermo, arctic, rhea, and heathcliff to name a few like why do they all lowkey have aura)

LMAOO it’ll be the same mfs buying both tiers too like don’t let yourself be treated like the random unnamed girl who got grocery store cookies and was cancelled on so otoya could play video games with reader 😭 only accept the man who plays video games with you so you didn’t walk to his house for nothing and buys you gourmet fancy ass cupcakes for literally no reason 🤩 nah because tbh bfb otoya as a concept cracks me up he’s just so ridiculous with everything he does like there’s zero reason for him to be doing all of that (i remember i kept telling you that karasu’s bfb would be less crack-ish and you were like otoya’s wasn’t that bad?? but now that you’ve read karasu’s version i hope you see what i meant 😩)

rough and tumble yukimiya would’ve been AMAZING…something about how he turned to religion as a way to repent for some of the bullshit he pulled in his childhood + he felt like him getting scouted just for being handsome was so lucky it HAD to be an act of god + him feeling like if he acts out god will punish him (maybe he views his failing eyesight as a punishment for his past sins??) and send him back to where he came from hence his mega kind and polite personality which is a facade for his more selfish NEL personality + him and kaiser getting along because of their backstories but also butting heads because of the diff ways they dealt with things (kaiser forsaking any notion of god to care about himself vs yukimiya trusting anyone BUT himself in search of some kind of solace and reassurance that things will stay as good as they now are) + isagi showing yukimiya another way of being yourself while still not being a bad person and showing that it’s alright to make mistakes (yukimiya perfectionism flaw??) as long as you learn from them…CUT THE CAMERAS DEADASS kaneshiro better give me custody of yukimiya in just three ask responses i’ve taken his canon info and given him a way more compelling and deep backstory that would guarantee him to be a fan favorite 🥱 honestly it’s kind of sad because i could never write this version of yukimiya as he’s just divorced enough from canon that it wouldn’t make sense in a fic but he will ALWAYS be in my mind now i think he’s 1000x more compelling than canon yukimiya without (i believe) compromising his core character traits and in fact actually adding continuity and building off of them (if rough and tumble yukimiya was given enough good panels [which considering he’s in an au with less players and therefore more focus on each character he probably would have a decent amount] he would def have that kaiser vibe to him like i can see him being popular and people posting abt his tragic backstory and how hot he is etc etc)

YESSS YUTA MADE IT lowkey it was so random though like last chapter there was the whole “we need to save okkotsu” cliffhanger and now he’s just here and chilling hello??? also how is HIGURUMA still around 😭 and this shit with the elders and all of that like where did that come from…is gege trying to set up a sequel or smth 🤔 idk i’m very lost i think i just need to see how it ends so i can move on from it for a while

i think aiku as a future rival would’ve cooked so hard maybe he drops some “you guys reminded me what it feels like to have an ego” (as a callback to his striker past) type of line and barou’s like “oh so you have an ego now 🤨 good because that means it’ll be even more fun to crush you 😒” and that specific game is focused on them and their rivalry (it could be a good place to add more barou backstory into the main manga too as well as aiku lore)

i never understood stats or anything but i always took typing seriously!! as well as moves and whatnot (if a move didn’t do damage though i never let my pokémon keep it) RKFHSJSJ no because it’s so sad karasu’s the one who goes back and finds her (after nagi tells him to because at the end it’s nagi and reader before reader goes on alone to fight barou…nagi leaves to evacuate everyone but he’s like “yo karasu please go check on her”) and it’s just her and her houndoom lying with barou and his houndoom (who are both dead UGHHHH the angst is insane)

HELP waits actually yk what’s funny is reader does actually end up with a dragalge on her team so at some point she catches a skrelp ig?? but she doesn’t trade it away (lowkey dragalge isn’t one i’ve put much though into like it and donphan are just kinda there but they don’t yet have the plot relevance that houndoom aegislash gyarados and galvantula do)…HAHAHA yeah she catches a non water type to trade!! i’m thinking it’ll be like a pikachu or something because then everyone reading will be like “oh of COURSE she has a pikachu 🙄🙄🙄” but then she trades it away for a magikarp LDFHSJSKSK anyways yeah if you put manaphy and a ditto in the daycare you’ll get a phione egg!! not sure what the lore connection is but yeah that’s the in game mechanic (i got a manaphy during one of the mystery gift events and i used to spam breed phione’s and put them on the global trade center so people would give me their legendaries in exchange LMAOAAO i was kinda diabolical with it)

no because the world is so deep i’m so invested now!! REO’S DAD BEING CORRUPT AND BRIBABLE JUST MAKES SM SENSE lowkey maybe that’s why reo’s traveling alone/with mc trio instead of training at home with his dad!! like he wants to actually be a proper champion and is too idealistic to realize the government will never let him do that with that mindset…okay wait and instead of going the stereotypical route maybe reader defeating barou and the evil team isn’t enough for them to fix things because the root of the problem (the government) hasn’t been fixed so then in order to get justice for barou she’s like “well ig i have all 8 badges” so she (along with nagi as her rival, tullia who’s just been doing random shit this whole time and has the team for it, and reo who wants to be champion for a diff reason) decides to join the championship conference and makes it through until the end (again considering galvantula alone swept through half of barou’s team it’ll make sense) where she’s told by the government that she has to throw the match and she seems to agree (unlike barou) but then instead of doing that she beats mr mikage and exposes the government on live tv before they can cut the cameras…and then the gym leaders + elite four + elite four candidates (isagi kaiser bachira kunigami) are like “aight might as well” and reveal they’ve been planning a mutiny against the government for a WHILE (another reason why isagi is always so secretive around them) and barou was involved too but it wasn’t supposed to happen for a while however with reader’s actions they decide there’s no time like the present and execute a (much better planned) mutiny while reader and co + mc trio watch in awe (you KNOW karasu is so mad yayoi never mentioned anything to him) so it kind of avoids that “kids doing everything while incompetent adults just sit around” trope while still having reader and co + mc trio be integral parts of the ending??

HAHAHA mc trio could have their own spinoff fr…episode nagi pokémon au KFJDJD they randomly find a crashed spaceship full of clefairy and clefables and somehow chigiri and/or reo are revealed to have mechanical expertise?? plus nagi’s just randomly a genius fsr so they manage to fix up the spaceship so the clefairy and clefable can go back to the moon (lowkey i think smth like this happens in one of the original eps of the anime but it’s bllk au so it’s funnier) and they leave an egg with nagi as thanks (specifically nagi because according to reo’s [at the time] kirlia they like his hair as it reminds them of the moon even though lowkey nagi did the least for them) or like do you remember that one episode where it was like a competition for only fighting type pokémon?? imagine reo has been SET on evolving his kirlia into a gardevoir but when he hears about the competition he’s like “time to switch gears” and while reader and co are having the fossil arc with hiori, mc trio is just running around completing various side quests trying to find a dawn stone so reo can evolve kirlia into a gallade instead…bonus points if reo misses the registration date because he doesn’t find the dawn stone in time so now he just randomly has a gallade (who he loves very much don’t get me wrong LMAOOO he was just building his team around eventually having a gardevoir and now he has to switch stuff up)

HELPPP because okay realistically hiori’s team is super super intimidating if you think about it…like you look at him and he seems so sweet you think he’d have a team like otoya’s (#otoyaslander) and then he releases his first pokémon and it’s a metagross 😭 his pokémon are def all super protective of him too…they probably HATE reader in particular because between donphan and galvantula (aka the goat…lowkey i’m surprised at how much it actually carries every confrontation) alone she’s destroying his team 😩 considering donphan is a ground type so it’s strong against aurorus and luxray, galvantula is bug-electric so it’s strong against metagross (psychic is weak to bug apparently??), swanna, and kingdra, so that only leaves nidoqueen with a type advantage…until you factor in that gyarados is not only a water type (so strong against her ground typing) but also flying so it’s immune to her ground type attacks 😭 and this is completely ignoring houndoom who is metagross’s perfect counter, aegislash if she has it at that point, and dragalge 😰 it took me so long picking a team with type coverage for basically every type but i’m still always amazed whenever i match reader up against other characters and realize she absolutely cooks them

HELPPPP GAGAMARU AS A POFFIN FOOD TRUCK WORKER IS SO REAL i can see him having an ursaring and they just drive around selling poffins and he doesn’t have a phone number or anything so if you want them you have to hunt him down 😭 the REAL reason yukimiya has an alakazam is so he can just teleport LMAOAO meanwhile reader and co have to fly on flying pokémon (reader and tullia borrow karasu’s and otoya uses his altaria) to find him wherever he is if they need him

nah because you’re so right aegislash has to be a shipper there’s 0 reason for it to throw the romance subplot in except for some drama JFKSKS to be fair it was probably rlly bored while waiting for a trainer to show up 😭 it’s kind of rude even once it’s captured but then houndoom beats it up and it behaves after that 🤩 no fr it’s a role reversal of the cleffa incident like reader and nagi both pull up with new pokémon and nagi throws out his cottonee (side note but cottonee/whimsicott is such a peak nagi pokémon tbh) meanwhile reader whips out her aegislash and nagi’s just like WHAT THE FUCK (reo and chigiri are just like “😃❔” because they have no clue why nagi’s tripping meanwhile nagi’s trying to process that he did in fact have an isekai romance arc with reader and now he has to face her after he literally asked if it’s okay for him to rizz her up “for the plot” when she’s dating karasu (she is NOT dating karasu) (karasu has no idea why nagi keeps looking at him awkwardly) (tullia and otoya ask chigiri and reo if nagi is into men/karasu) (chigiri and reo can honestly say they have 0 idea)

HAHAHA no it’s not even just 15 since may because that’s not counting the jjk requests i got OR anything i wrote for myself (both versions of bfb, freaky friday, hollyhock and peregrine chapters) i fear i am quite prolific in the summer…fall is always lowkey the mira hiatus era where i rlly slow down and then suddenly come december i go crazy and cook until the next fall

[babel-and-beam]

I've determined that I want the world to misinterpret me. Assuming all my words are my lies is your fault. I'll tell you when I'm lying if you truly ask, but stop acting like these passing questions "How are you?" are real. I walk past 1700 how are yous thanks to corporate & this fake ass community everyday and lemme tell you sumn it felt as empty as they did WAY before I starting working. So no, I don't think you care. Why tf would i? Your actions haven't changed either. I still feel the betrayal on my tongue.

And noting my own hypocrisy from earlier...

I have no problem telling you what's going on with me, but stop acting like actions don't have consequences, good or bad, REGARDLESS of your so-called confidence. As if that isn't another facet of faith in something that you have no real proof about. You literally could be lucky, blessed, cursed, energetically blind, oblivious, or incapable. But sure, it's a confidence problem 🙄 yup, I NEVER believed in myself ever. You know how stupid you sound? As if you know what the fuck is really going on, I can't even fully explain all in words most of the time cause no one gives me the time to do it but me, myself, and I.

Here's the truth: I'm in pain. I'm not suffering. I'm simply in constant pain. I'm not fucking bitter or depressed at my core. I'm upset that the social world is full of bullshit playing the role of the protagonist, who can only be the hero. SOMETIMES YOU'RE THE LEADING VILLAIN. I never thought only my perspective mattered but I just can't stand to care bout none of the rest now. Ain't no one did shit, I just am done. Cause once I start with my rap sheet, I know what kinda responses imma get. And I promise, I'll still hold back cause between the two of us....no matter who I'm looking at...the one who's really afraid and over it all, is you.

I got more love than I know what to do with. Why else do you think I didn't kill myself already?

[sugamamacustard]

Sweet little chick

 Pairing: Mafia boss! Alpha! Sugawara Koushi! X Omega! Reader

Genre: Fluff, Yandere

Request: N/A

Summary: The Karasuno Crows fell to the will of one person and one person alone. You were expected to do the same to the mama crow.

Warnings:  Slight/Yandere! Themes. Stockholm Syndrome, Collars, dresses, blood/core/ mafia compliant violence. 

Author’s Note:  An anon on my main blog (Shameless plug, it’s @angstyclowns​) sent me an amazing message and I took care of myself for once and now I’m super motivated! Also, I’m tried keeping this gender neutral, but reader does end up in a dress and thigh highs, so I’m sorry for that!

Requests: Open!

Disclaimer: I do not condone the acts below, please do not kidnap people you fancy and force them to stay against their will until they pull a beauty and the beast. Thanks for reading!

Sugawara Koushi

➵ You weren’t sure how long you had been there. 

➵ In fact, at this point you weren’t sure you cared. 

➵ You were respected here. People groveled on their knees at your feet for your favor, just to make you smile.

➵ Because if you liked them, your alpha was less likely to slit their throats. You were a direct link to getting in the alpha’s good graces.

➵ At first, you hated it. Hated the feeling of people begging you for their lives.

➵ And sometimes, sometimes late at night, you hated it now too. Hated how their screams still rung in your ears, begging and pleading for you to help.

➵ Most times, your alpha tried to keep you out of the bloody weeds of his business, but some times, when Noya or Hinata weren’t quick enough to stop a new guy who royally messed up from begging you to call off the hit.

➵  At that point, you had to hide in your nest, close your eyes and cover your ears until Suga came to comfort you.

➵ In the beginning you would smack him away, but now you craved his touch. His hugs, his purrs, his words of reassurance, anything he would give to you to settle your fears. 

➵ You weren’t sure why you pushed him away in the first place, as you were much better now. You were getting help after the untimely death of your parents (Car accident), you had friends (Suga allowed you to keep company with some of the other crows’ omegas), and everything you wanted at the snap of your fingers.

➵ You were perfectly content with life as it was. 

➵ But that didn’t mean you didn’t have your own rules to follow. 

➵ Your alpha had several rules to follow, especially because of the role he played. 

➵ When he had meetings with Fukorodani or Nekoma, you were to sit on his lap, in whatever tight little number you were gifted that day, and stay quiet. Occasionally, Daichi (Who ran Karasuno along side Suga) would bring his own omega and you two would be allowed to talk quietly among yourselves or play Animal crossing together. 

➵ If you had a concern or comment, you would whisper it to Koushi, who would either allow you to share or re-word it himself.

➵ The other leaders thought you were the second cutest thing in their worlds (Their own omegas holding first. But you were reminded them of their own omegas they left at home) and always listened when you spoke, treating you like a valid member of the Karasuno crew.

➵ Which you were. 

➵ But not in the same sense as everyone else. You were more-or-less an innocent bystander that held the title. 

➵ Under no circumstances however, were you allowed to talk to someone that wasn’t approved by Koushi. Kuroo, Bokuto, Oikawa (Read, Iwaizumi), even Ushijima were all approved, their omegas too, but no one else. 

➵ They understood this, growling at their guards and anyone else they brought for a meeting to stay away. 

➵ But unfortunately, not all people took the gracious warnings they provided. 

➵ The day started off like it normally did, with Suga waking up far earlier than you cared to know. 

➵ He pecked your lips while you groggily watched him get ready, button his shirt while you sat up to run your hands through his hair.

➵ “Do you have to leave so early, Koushi?” You whined, pulling him down once more to hug him tightly. He chuckled in your ear, pecking your cheek before prying you off. 

➵ “Unfortunately I do, sweet thing. But I promise, I’ll back to pick you up for the meeting later.”  A final kiss was pressed to your lips before your alpha was off, tightening his tie on the way out and slinging on his suit jacket.

➵ Predictably so, you went back to bed, sleeping until a knock on the door woke you up. 

➵ Hinata walked in slowly, beaming down at you brightly before setting down a silver and gold box and walking back out, closing the door behind him. You liked Hinata. He seemed to have a second sense to when you wanted to talk or when you just wanted your alpha.

➵ His omega was lucky. 

➵ But you were more lucky. You got to see your alpha soon, since he always had your dresses delivered in the time frame that allowed you to get ready right before Suga would show up to pick you up

➵ So you shakily got up, stretching and yawning before picking  up the box and sliding off the top. The dress inside was a velvet black up until the bodess, which was a sweetheart neckline. From there, a mesh overcoat covering your shoulders and arms hooked around your neck. It was beautiful. 

➵ So you slipped it on quickly, styling your hair with dry shampoo and whatever else you deemed appropriate and slipping some black thigh highs to match  before clipping on the final accessory

➵ It was a pristine white collar that buckled around your neck, with a small white bell and a hanging heart charm that simply said your name. It wasn’t as extravagant as the other omegas’ collars, but it suited Suga-- who, in a way, owned you. 

➵ Like clockwork. the moment you finished tightening the collar your alpha was knocking on the door, opening it soon after and smiling at you. 

➵ He was in a different suit then what he left in and his knuckles were wrapped, but you didn’t want to question it. 

➵ “Ready to go?” 

➵ You nodded excitedly, hooking your arm with his and making your way out of the room. He grabbed your switch (Which he had gifted you, custom with your favorite colored joycons) on the way out, soon leading you to the ‘meeting room’. 

➵ Daichi and Kuroo both smiled from their conversation when you two finally made your entrance, nodding in your direction. 

➵ Suga sat in his chair, allowing you to sit in his lap right after before passing you the gaming console and starting the meeting. (Kuroo and Daichi said something about how lucky Suga was that you were ‘ready’ whatever that meant)

➵ You didn’t care to listen, probably for the better, only playing animal crossing with small hums leaving you. 

➵ Twenty minutes in and all was fine with minimal disagreement on whatever was going on. At least, minimal trouble for the alphas.

➵ You felt a sense of unease set over you while you were playing a while ago but hoped it would just disappear. 

➵ But it never did. 

➵ You looked up to see Suga completely enveloped in the conversation with Kuroo and Daichi, so it wasn’t him, nor the other two alphas. 

➵ Looking around, you noted it wasn’t any of the Karasuno crows that were in there. 

➵ All the usual people Kuroo brought with him were focusing on the void. 

➵ All but one. You had never seen him before but he looked slimy from here. Even Lev (One of Kuroo’s bodyguards that got along with literally everyone, including you) was standing far away from him.

➵ His hair was greasy and blue. A gross as blue that looked like he tried to go for silver but failed. 

➵ It was disgusting to you and he was staring directly at you. Who tf was this guy???

➵  You mindlessly nuzzled back into Suga’s arms, which made him falter and look down at you before going back to the conversation (A land deal?) 

➵ But the feeling never faltered. 

➵ You had tried getting up to go the bathroom once during the meeting but the feeling at you sitting right back down, trying so hard to focus on your game. Your scent was burnt slightly, which set Suga on edge, but what made it even worse was when the boy- smelled like beta- offered to take you off of Suga’s hands for the meeting. 

➵ “A frail thing like her shouldn’t be in the company of such vile conversation topics, yeah?” 

➵ “We’re talking about land, what about that is vile?” Suga sneered, switching from looking at you to the man. He could tell you were off the moment you burrowed into him.

➵ There weren’t any excited giggles coming from you if you discovered something new. No squeals of joy when you finally, finally caught that fish you had been trying to catch for however long. Nothing. Silence and tense muscles.

➵ He had been trying to figure out what was wrong with you the entire time until it suddenly clicked. 

➵ The male spoke and you were grabbing his shirt like a lifeline.

➵ It was him. 

➵ This beta was making his omega uncomfortable. 

➵  Kuroo and Daichi picked up on this fairly quickly, Kuroo already apologizing to Daichi before looking to the Beta. 

➵ Suga didn’t hear what they said, but he felt Daichi pushing you and him out of the room. A silent promise in his eyes.

➵ He picked you up effortlessly, taking you to your room and setting you in your nest and scenting you excessively

➵ You whimpered and allowed him to do so, the switch being discarded somewhere. 

➵ Suga held you to his chest for hours after that, silently planning  ever terrible thing he would unleash unto the unsuspecting beta. 

➵ there was nothing in the world Suga wouldn’t do for you. 

➵ He killed for you once and he’d do it again over and over again.

➵ Whether it be faking a car accident or disposing of trash, keeping eyes on you with specially planted agents, Suga was willing to do everything for you. 

➵ And he certainly had the means to do so.

[castiel-left-his-mark-on-me]

Hi, Ary, very inactive ex-mutual(i think???) here. Good to see you thriving! ♥ It's been a while since I've dipped my head into cockles stuff. Could I perchance maybe ask uuuuum tf is going on??? lol I see Mish apparently confirmed he used to stay over at Jensen's in Van, and heard newbs were apparently freaking out about it and getting a bit messy, which I get that, business as usual. But I'm also seeing shit about spin-offs? And Jared getting in a twitter fight with Jensen, causing/resulting in stans to going feral and sending hate?? I know you're not as big a fan of Jar, but that's part of why I figured I'd ask you, you usually have a really level head about this kinda stuff. If you don't wanna answer publically, or at all, that's totally chill!

Hey, Rhi! We're still mutuals! Of course we're still mutuals! When I saw the notification of your ask, I was like "Hey! I haven't seen you in a while!" and my husband was like "???" and I said "Tumblr" and he said "Oh."

It was a wild time haha.

In any case, welcome back to the dumpster fire! We are obviously still a mess. So to catch you up, I guess I will start by summarizing both before and after the finale (not sure where you left off so this might be redundant for you) ... basically, it became obvious as the end of the show neared that Jensen was not on board with the plan for the finale; although Jared never stopped singing its praises.

We got confirmation of this during a zoom interview where Jensen said that he actually went into the writers room as well as called Kripke to basically voice how he didn't agree with the direction the final season was going, but he was shot down on all fronts. In another interview, he was asked "What would you tell your younger self going into this career?" And Jensen responded with: "I would tell myself to just keep your head down and do the work" meaning, "Don't try to change things because you can't." I also think that this whole situation is what he wrote "Let Me Be" about for his first Radio Company album, but that is just my own speculation. All of his reluctance, even though he always followed it up with "But I eventually saw the value in the script" or "I came around in the end" (which never sounded sincere, and I don't think he was really trying to sound sincere) made us all very nervous about what was to come for 15x20; and of course, when the last two episodes aired, we saw just how badly they fucked it up.

After the awful finale, the entire fandom became aware of the CW's heavy handed role in the thing, basically squeezing all the life out of SPN to shape it into a ramp from which Walker could launch itself. They not only erased all the love and joy and representation that Cas's love confession gave us, they also tore apart the things that made sense about the bond between Sam and Dean, making it really just about Sam-- and therefore Jared, which of course, Jared seemed to be fine with ... even though no one else was. Misha barely said anything during the finale, and a few of the other actors talked about the show ending in various posts, but Jared tweeted up a storm ... and Jensen? Jensen just sat in sexy-silent resentment of the whole thing. He didn't tweet, he didn't post, he didn't say a word once he no longer had to, and I think that's because he was already going full-steam-ahead on his plans for redemption.

Which brings us to Chaos Machine-- Jensen and Danneel's new production company that is being run by a queer creative director and has a mantra of inclusivity and representation woven throughout it's fabric; and apparently, the first story that Jensen wanted to tell through this new platform is the origin story of Sam and Dean's parents; so last week (?) he announced the upcoming production of "The Winchesters" -- the untold love story of John and Mary. Obviously, John is not the most likable character from the show, so the idea was met with a lot of resentment when it was first announced, but Jensen has gone on to say that he is excited to take on the task of telling the "true" story behind these characters-- the one that makes sense with the pre-established canon and doesn't reject it. So, given that, the idea is being mulled over with a bit more optimism from the fandom.

Who isn't being optimistic though?

Jared Padalecki.

When Jensen made this announcement on Twitter, many of his friends and coworkers congratulated him, but not Jared. Jared responded with a passive aggressive: "I'm happy for you, man, but I wish I didn't hear about it through Twitter." This of course, sent all the die-hard Jared fans into a tizzy and they immediately began asking him if he was serious (hoping it was just a joke-- we all hoped it was because there would be fallout no matter what one's opinion on Jared is). Instead of leaving it there though or just deleting that tweet, Jared went on to tweet some more, saying that he was being serious that he didn't know about the plans for the prequel, and that he was "gutted" that Sam apparenlty wouldn't be included (mind you, this a prequel to SPN... meaning BEFORE Sam and Dean were even born, so how could Sam be included? But Dean is apparently narrating this story so maybe Jared thought Sam should be helping to narrate it? I don't know). But Jared being Jared couldn't just leave that there, he then went on to tweet at Robbie Thompson who was announced as a writer for "The Winchesters" so then Jared went off on him too, calling him "Brutus" and a "coward" acting like Robbie betrayed him (speculation is-- Robbie refused to write for Walker, so Jared is pissed that he essentially chose Jensen over him). He did fairly quickly, remove that tweet attacking Robbie, but of course the damage was done at that point. And it truly only took his first tweet calling out Jensen for some people to be like "Jared-- that sucks if you didn't know but why are you saying any of this publicly?"

As you might know, Jared has had issues in the past with posting hurtful things on social media, and has even used it as a tool for attack before-- calling out customer service agents and public workers that he felt have wronged him, which is bad enough ... but for him to then do the same thing to his best friend of well over a decade? Many people who had once liked him or at least gave him the benefit of the doubt (I used to ...) stopped after this latest twitter tantrum.

However, some people have suspected for some time that J2 had a falling out either shortly before the finale or just after. Their public/social media interactions have seemed awkward, stilted or even non-existent in moments that they normally wouldn't be. In the past year, when Walker premiered, Jensen didn't say much about his friend's new venture other than a "Congrats. buddy" here and there. Later, we learned that Jensen refused to work on the show ... Jared said he make him do it, drag Jensen to the set "kicking and screaming" which made many fans quirk up an eyebrow because, why would Jensen put up a fight unless the two weren't as close as they used to be? And then Jensen moved his family to Colorado (either permanently or for an extended period at least) which is notable considering how he moved to Texas seemingly to be closer to Jared, even buying a house that was near his. All this was just speculation though; but it wasn't until Jared's tweet complaining about not knowing about the prequel that the theories behind them falling out, became less theory and more fact.

The day after his twitter tantrum, Jared tweeted again-- not retracting his statements or apologizing, but instead saying that he and Jensen "talked" and were "all good". Jensen then tweeted too, parroting this statement to some degree, which only made the whole thing even more sour in the mouths of the fans. The fact that Jared didn't apologize for his outburst and throwing his friend under the bus, and also the fact that Jensen-- Mr. Sexy Silence, Mr. Never Tweets, Mr. Tech-Ignorant-and-Proud, actually had to POST SOMETHING saying that he and Jared made up, it just screamed OPTICS. It was obviously the work of agents and PR firms and lots of people going "Look, if you two keep beefing, that will mean the death of both of your projects. Even more people will stop watching Walker, and this SPN prequel will never get picked up due to the scandal." So, the two "made nice" publicly to quell the chaos, but in my opinion, it's all too little too late. Jared started a storm that he can't contain now with a little tweet, and it seems like he knows that too because before he talked about him and Jensen making up, he asked that people "not send threats". He could have just as easily said that he shouldn't have made this a public issue and that he's sorry, but instead, he continued to play the victim and stoke the flames by alerting us all to the damage he's done.

Now, like I said before-- I used to give him the benefit of the doubt. I don't think he's an awful human or that he deserves to be attacked or anything, but he is an adult man with very poor judgment and an obvious selfish-streak a mile wide. He should know better, and he should have more respect for his so-called "friends" and "brothers" than to make them targets to public ridicule. I have a hard time believing that Jensen still sees Jared the way he used to, and I wouldn't blame him a bit for wanting to pull away-- especially when he's moving on to so many new and exciting things. Jared certainly deserves happiness just as much as anyone else, but he went on twitter and basically asked for a scandal, and he got one.

The question is now-- was there a motive behind it? Was just looking for a reason to bring his and Jensen's falling out to light-- while making himself looking like the victim in the process? Or did he genuinely not know about the prequel and just decided to go about "not knowing" in the most toxic and hurtful way he could manage?

In any case, that is the drama ... that is the J2 insanity in a rather lengthy nutshell ... that is the tea ... and I hope it all makes sense.

But the good news out of all of this is, Cockles is thriving-- they are happy and in love and Jensen calls Misha "Babe" and Misha misses waking up to see Jensen in the morning, and they are just as cute and wonderful as can be.

So, I will end that there. I am so glad to see you back, and I hope I answered all your questions in a way that made sense ... I tried anyway!

💖💖💖

[absolutebl]

This Week In BL

May 2021 Wk 2

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs.

Ongoing Series - Thai

Lovely Writer Ep 12 fin - that was a long arse final ep, but solid performances. I liked that we focused on the fallout amongst the side characters. (Very clever of them to depict Chap with Tae, his Y-Destiny pairing. Especially as both actors are slated for new BL roles with different partners again, The Tuxedo and You’re My Sky.) The camera certainly enjoyed wallowing in Sib & Gene’s separation, but that’s an Asian drama for you. They like to DWELL. (Frankly, I like a bit of wallowing myself.) I thought the inclusion of the “actual” writer at the very end thoroughly unnecessary. I don’t think they had to beat us over the head with the 4th wall meta quite that much. Still, this is probably one of the best BLs we’re getting from non-GMMtV Thailand this year. RECOMMENDED 

Y-Destiny Ep 8 - (Thurs) I found the first half uninteresting but once Casper the Friendly Gay showed up it was fine. The ghost reminded me a bit of Fuse from MIR. 

Close Friend Ep 4: (Just One Life) - is it just me or is Talay insanely charismatic? Anygay, the director got ahold of a drone for this one and would like us to KNOW ABOUT THAT FACT. Look, I just don’t think YoonLay have great chemistry but this was alright, cute enough. 

Fish Upon The Sky Ep 6 - This was a better installment than we’ve had in a while. I like the obsession vs love explanation from Mork, insightful if creepy. Meen & Duean are okay, I guess. A bit annoying. Everyone in this show is a bit annoying. But the wipe toothpaste then wipe eye crud got to me. Toothpaste in the eye, yech! And then I was all, oh that’s basically this show: toothpaste in the eye. It just reviewed itself. (Also why do they keep switching aspect ratio between the two pairs? It’s like they were filming with two completely different camera types... oh. ah. Weird, GMMTV usually doesn’t make mistakes like that.) 

Call it What You Want Ep 6 fin - I skipped to the last ep on this, I told you I do that sometimes to find out what happened. So CIWYW ends happy for the main couple, but trigger warnings on: eating disorders, suicidal thoughts, depression, mental abuse, and a few other things. If you don’t mind your BL dark, gritty, self aware, and honest then you should be okay with this show. But if your preference is for fluff, then there are other fish in the sky. Speaking of... 

Nitiman Ep 2 - Giving me My Engineer vibes. This is OLD school Thai uni BL. I kinda feel like it was meant to come out in 2018, the gap year that was, but I am SO GRATEFUL we’re getting it now. Pay TF attention FUTS this is how you redeem a tsundere uke. Also I love that Bboom is just a terrible flirt and the football match twist was great. I love this show.  

Top Secret Together Ep 1 - it’s out there but no eng subs. It’s an office set romance with multiple couples all tangential to one building. A bit stilted and low production values but I’m intrigued. I hope we get subs... eventually.  

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

HIStory 4: Close To You (Taiwan) Ep 9 - gets the safe sex gold star for lube + condoms AND a verse discussion? Not to mention asking for sex advice from queer fam? Is this a first in BL? Might be. (I still think it’s weird that product placement hasn’t jumped on the lube bandwagon, too slippery perhaps?) I like the embezzlement drama. I always enjoy good outside conflict playing to setting, and this is the kind to be easily resolved in next week’s finale. What a roller coster this series has been. 

Papa & Daddy (Taiwan) Ep 5 - I LOVE THIS SHOW. A heartbeat after i thought, “they better address what he’s doing to the girls he’s dating,” they did it. Clever scripting that. The messaging is gorgeous, the idea that pride and media coverage and knowing about a changing world can broaden minds and lead to acceptance was basically Taiwan making a case for itself paving the way for marriage equality in Asia. Genius. 

Most Peaceful Place 2 (Vietnam) Ep 1 (AKA 4) - dropped with subs and improved production values, someone is learning (or got more dough). The younger brother’s drama is a bit confusing, but I am here for cute boyfriends being cute boyfriends together. And I love that they took the seme’s previous pair (from Nation’s Brother) to be the faen fatale, very crafty of them. Even though it’s not a trope I like, there’s great chemistry all around. 

My Lascivious Boss (Vietnam) Ep 6 - I weirdly love this show, okay? I’m just hoping Long has known Minh’s secret all along and is playing a reverse long con cat & mouse game, waiting for Minh to tell him the truth. Because that would be THE BEST. I could do without the faen fatale but ya can’t have everything. (I’m so glad it’s not the standard 6 ep arc, MOAR!!!) 

Gossip 

Rumor is GMMTV Thailand started shooting Baker Boys (here’s the teaser trailer). This is a remake of Antique (AKA Antique Bakery) a 2008 Korean movie (you can watch it on Viki) which is a remake of Antique (a 2001 Japanese series) with is an adaptation of wildly popular manga Antique Bakery. Knowing the plot I’m not sure this will qualify as BL. I’m still predicting Lee gets his first gay kiss in this series from Singto. More details about this series here. 

Breaking News

Love Area release pushed out, reportedly due to C19. (source DramaCool) 

Be Love In House: I Do (Taiwan, of course, with that title) got a new softer trailer (no subs). It drops next week, May 19, 2021 on Viki. All the information I have is here. 

Tangential to BL 

Two BL-adjacent shows, both from Taiwan. 

I’m watching Love is Science? on Viki which has a het foundation, but it’s a good one. There’s a BL side couple who are on an enemies to lovers slow burn trajectory; featuring a disaster bi slut meets elegant bad ass super gay. So there’s THAT. The mains are an older career woman and the sweet boy from her distant past who has pined for her for years. (He is the softest sweetest service sub you ever saw.) Props to Taiwan for a seriously underused het dynamic. As usual in Asian rom coms the straight boy love interest is a Perfect Cinnamon Role (yes I’m looking at you True Beauty & Love O2O) but I find Taiwan’s version more palatable than Korea’s or Mainland China’s. It’s not finished yet but... RECOMMENDED. 

Starting this week is Love Outlet a 50 (?!) episode show about a mall that sells relationships. It is supposed to have a main gay romance, but it might be a side dish. Very little else known about it. Coming to Line TV.

Honestly, I’m at the point where if Taiwan makes it, I’ll probably watch it. 

Next Week Looks Like This:

Some shows may be listed later than actual air date for International accessibility reasons.

Starting:

Be Loved In House: I Do (Taiwan) 

Golden Blood (Thailand) we think, like Love Area this may be delayed due to surging C19 cases 

Love Outlet (Taiwan) we think 

Upcoming 2021 BL master post here.

Links to watch are provided when possible, ask in a comment if I missed something.

[mzmezzler]

Darling Boy - Jinyoung x Fem!Reader

shortlist: crossdressing, humiliation, sub!Jinyoung, dom!reader, Jinyoung in a maid outfit, role play, degradation, mistress kink, minor food kink (it’s just passing a drink before and during a kiss)minor cock stepping, strap sucking.

word count: 2k

summary: I can’t fake out a summary, this is just late Valentine’s porn with a semblance of plot.

a/n: Let’s give it up to the only fic I wrote in its entirety not at work! No,but why tf did this take so long. I was at it all day writing and rewriting and i barely like it.... Anyway @foenixs really helped me pick some integral parts of this fic, hope you like it!

Any and all feedback is appreciated :)

Turning to you from his side in the bed, Jinyoung looks at you expectantly, “Y/N” Humming in response, you turn your head slightly from where it’s trained to the book in your hands to show you’re listening. “What do you want for Valentine’s day?” He asks. 

Turning a page you sigh, “I’d love to see your perky ass in a skirt maybe.” You pause to settle on the idea. “Yeah, and maybe you could go about being completely oblivious, instead of your usual act cause I need a break having to deal with your-” Jinyoung cuts you off with a scoff. “Sounds like you don’t want me at all, I have to be my authentic self for you.” He replies, finishing his words with a sarcastic drawl. Setting your book down on the nightstand, and shifting your front towards him, you offer him an unamused look. “You know what I mean.” 

Smirking to himself, Jinyoung rolls his eyes, “What if I don’t?” His smugness was just one thing he knew he had over you, it was an integral part of the push and pull of your relationship in and out of bed. It took long enough for you to realize that the relationship between the two of you was even evolving since neither of you noticed the consistent bickering more times than not laced with an odd sense of longing.

However, for once, you’d like something easy. Just the version of Jinyoung that would slide easily into things without a fight, you both knew he could, but in his words “it wasn’t as fun”. 

“What’s the point of asking me what I want then?” You ask. Stumped he pouts to himself, “You know I was just teasing.” 

Still maintaining your blank stare, Jinyoung rolls his eyes and crosses his arms. Knowing that’s the sign he was finally done you leaned onto him, snuggling into his die.

 “So do you want to hear what I really want?” 

“Fine”

By the night of Valentine’s the scene was set.

Lounging on the sofa of your living room in a robe, you enjoy a glass of wine and a novel while snuggled in your favorite cover. Sipping from your glass, the drink swirls in the amber glow of the low lights. Settling around the basen, and reflecting the glow of nearby candles. The living room seemed to be ripped out of a Hallmark movie, if it weren’t for the insistent sound of wet bristles scrubbing against the kitchen tile.

Swinging an arm around the back of the sofa and craning your neck towards the sound, you see a bundle of white tulle bobbing with every stroke. At the center of the mess of fabric was Jinyoung's bum wiggling in his haste. It was a glorious sight, drinking in the man in his costume, working like your little maid. Faced away from you, you drink in the sight of his skirt and the white panties stretched across his ass. Lined with white and black fabrics down to the garters holding up his stockings, you can only take another long sip of your wine. 

You hear small grunts and a sigh as Jinyoung sits back on his knees. Suddenly turning towards you with a small smile, he wipes the sweat from his brow. With the full outfit on display, you take notice of how the dress hugs his waist and is subtly cinched by the ties of the apron that lies along his front. There’s a knowing glint in his eyes, but still, he kneels across the room from you to be ogled under your hungry gaze. Squirming in his place he stutters “Mistress, I’ve finished cleaning”

 “Come here darling” You reply, motioning towards the spot in front of the sofa. 

Getting onto his hands and knees, Jinyoung never breaks the heated stare between the two of you as he crawls across the floor. You could now see the pink flush painting his face, an adorable touch to the obscene picture the man put on. Untying your robe, you reveal a lingerie set of your own. Almost contrasting the frills of Jinyoung's costume you opted for a crisp red, matching the strap nestled tight onto your groin. Jinyoung's pace falters at your unveiling, seemingly taking you in as you did before.

Now kneeling between your legs, you caress Jinyoung’s face and smile as his eyes flutter shut at the affection. Moving your hand to tilt his chin up you press your thumb into the man’s mouth. Jinyoung drops his mouth open at your intrusion, licking at the finger. Swirling your thumb over his tongue, you both stare at each other with heavy eyes. 

Removing the finger from the man’s mouth,  a trail of spit follows. Jinyoung whines out at the emptiness, and before he could pout for more you slip your foot underneath his skirt. The hitch in his breath quickly becomes a deep groan as you press the ball of your foot onto his half hard bulge. Snickering at his reaction you grip his chin and dig your heel in harder, “You know what I won’t take any brattiness today. You’re supposed to be my darling boy for once.” You take a long drag from the wine glass and set it down on the coffee table. 

Swallowing most of what's in your mouth you tip back Jinyoung's head, "And you're supposed to obey and take what I give." Ghosting your mouth over his, you trace his lips with yours before opening your mouth to drip wine into the Jinyoung’s mouth. Gasping at the sudden flow of the drink into his mouth, Jinyoung gulps the wine heavily. With a hand on his chin, and the other running over his styled hair.

As the flow stops, you both pant into each other’s mouths before meeting in a wet kiss.

The facade almost fades as the kiss turns suffocating, gripping Jinyoung’s hair and pulling away a string of spit still binds you too together. 

With a dazed look on his face, Jinyoung looks up at you with slightly parted lips, whether they were reddened more by the wine or your assault didn’t matter. Cooing at the sight, you loosen your grip, only to clench your fist in his hair making him groan out. “Are we going to be good then love” Blinking the moisture from his eyes Jinyoung nods, “Yes mistress, I’ll be good.”

You widen your legs and move to fully take off your robe, "Then make yourself useful."  

Jinyoung parts his mouth and lays his tongue flat against your inner thigh, tracing up to your groin he goes nose around the base of the strap. Opening his mouth to lick at the head he opts to put on a show for you, knowing that you can’t feel his motions. 

“You always looked so pretty while sucking my cock” You were smirking, head tilted while the man writhed under his maid outfit. You could see it in the way his thighs clench and twitch while he moves to wrap his lips around the tip. “You look like a doll, pretty lips, wide eyes, and all” Running a hand through his hair you grip at the strands and push the man further down your shaft, successfully making him gag. Moving him to slowly fuck his mouth, Jinyoung moans at the intrusion. The vibrations shake your skin while Jinyoung drinks in the burn now nestled in his throat.

“It feels good to be used like a whore doesn’t it?” You smirk.

Popping off of your member with a gasp Jinyoung looks up at you with wide eyes , “More Mistress...please" Narrowing your eyes, you chuckle at his desperation, “I need to prep you love” 

Jinyoung wipes the spit from his chin and pipes up again,  “I-i did that myself, Mistress." The needy look in his wide eyes is enrapturing as he stutters out his reply, " I did it in the shower before I got ready, thinking about you." 

Imagining Jinyoung under the steaming water of a shower working his fingers into himself, panting out to deaf ears is enough to make you freeze and stare at him with a heavy gaze. He's half defiled in his dress with garters askew and his apron slightly wrinkled with a few drops of wine staining the previously pristine white. You can see his bugle warping the fabric with every heavy breath, it's obscene.

"You don't know what you do to me." You say. Moving onto the floor, you press your lips against Jinyoung's while pushing him onto the ground. Sliding on top of him you cage your arms around his face and look down the man. 

Lying flat against the floor, Jinyoung’s hair is completely undone and spread out in wild tufts.

“You’re so beautiful like this Jinyoung, spread out for me and hard under your panties like my little whore.” You pause to move your hand under his skirt to prove your point. He was hard and leaking through the lace, gripping onto his erection you smile softly at the hard jerk he gives at your touch. 

Leaning down to bite at his ear you chuckle, “Do you want me to make it hurt baby?” 

Jinyoung nods slowly.

Pulling at the lace panties you unfasten the garters and slip the fabric down to the man’s thighs, “Can you hold your legs up for me baby.” 

Wrapping his arms around his thighs, Jinyoung’s legs hang above him as you toy with his wet hole. Plunging in one of your fingers, it slides in with no resistance and only results in a whine from the man below you. 

Giving a sharp spank to the side of his ass, “Don’t get cute now. I’ll leave you right here leaking all over the carpet so you can clean it up after you finish rutting against my leg.”

“I’m sorry mistress” Jinyoung moaned out.

 “I don’t have to fuck you, but this is for me.” You press. 

Lining up your cock with Jinyoung’s entrance, you slap your strap against his hole.

Pushing into the man, you groan at how easy the slide was as you bottom out in him. Wrapping your arms around Jinyoung’s legs you start to thrust into him slowly, building up a grueling pace that would punch out the filthiest moans from your lover. 

Pulling the panties past his knees you part the man’s legs to wrap them around your waist. You change the angle of your thrusts, groaning at the twisted look on his face, “How does it feel Jinyoungie, to be used like my darling whore on the floor of our living room, does it get you off knowing this is how you really are?”

Deepening your thrusts, you move a hand between you to fist Jinyoung’s own dick. He hisses at the sudden attention, crying out as you start to pump his cock in time with your thrusts. 

Jinyoung is a mess under you, drool once again running down his chin while faint whimpers are punched out of him. His eyes are heavy with tears as he holds his skirt up for you.

Suddenly squeezing his eyes shut he stills and cums with a shout, spilling onto the frills of his skirt. 

Sitting back against the sofa, you let your head rest on the edge as you catch your breath. “Thank you for this love.” You pant. Looking over at Jinyoung, he seems to be in the same state having shifted to lie his whole body flat on the floor. Running a hand through his sweaty hair he chuckles, “Happy Valentines Y/N”

[writingbeary]

Kingdom - To The World (pt.2)

Minyoung’s Outfit

Note:

Texts placed inside brackets are Kingdom’s show subtitles

Italicized texts are in English

Texts that are block quoted are interview cuts

────────── ♔ ──────────

Hongjoong went to the studio to gets ideas from Pirates of the Caribbean and writing down notes when a knock was heard. Pausing the movie, he stood up and unlocked the door to check who came.

"Joong-oppa! I brought you snacks and coffee. I figured you'd pull another all-nighter to brainstorm and a little sugar might help generate ideas." Minyoung entered with a paper bag full of snacks and a cup of coffee.

"Why are you here? Shouldn't you be resting by now? I thought you had a schedule tomorrow." Hongjoong frowned knowing how late it is, before taking the snacks thanking the younger girl for them before making himself comfortable on the couch.

"I accidentally left my script at the lockers this morning so I went to get it. I figured I’d drop by the studio and give you something while I'm at it. Don't worry, I'll get some sleep as soon as I get home and the shoot starts at 10 anyway so I'd get plenty of time before I have to leave tomo-.. later" Minyoung smiled plopping down next to Hongjoong

"Just try to get some rest soon. You're busiest among all of us with your drama on top of our promotions and Kingdom." Hongjoong reached out to pat Minyoung's head

"It's nothing I cannot handle! You know me, I can sleep whenever." Minyoung laughed as she look at the screen, recognizing the movie she turned to look at the leader excitedly “You’re watching Pirates? Are we continuing our Introduction Stage concept?” 

“I’m not yet sure but our group’s concept is mostly about pirates so we might as well stick with it.” Hongjoong shrugged taking a sip of coffee

“I always trust your decision oppa! Your ideas for songs and concepts have been all brilliant so far that I’ll follow you in whatever you plan on doing.” Minyoung declared making Hongjoong chuckle.

“I appreciate the confidence but I’ll also ask for your inputs once I talk it over with Eden-hyung” 

“Mhm. I’m just saying that if you tell me to do perform a stunt, I’ll do it. Or maybe even if you tell me to suddenly sing a ballad version of Fireworks or Pirate King, I’d do it in a heartbeat if you arrange it. You know what I mean?” Minyoung said seriously before laughing with Hongjoong. “I’m pretty sure the other members would tell you that too. That’s how much we trust you as our leader.”

“Got it. Thank you bun.” Hongjoong ruffled her hair smiling. “You should head back and get some rest. I’ll finish up here first before my meeting with Eden-hyung. I’ll see you during our meeting, okay? Did you come with manager-hyung?” 

“No. Don’t worry, I’ll just call a cab home. I’ll be fine, I’m already an adult. Geez! If it helps, I’ll send you a message once I’m at the dorms. Fighting oppa!” Minyoung pouted before waving goodbye to Hongjoong “I’ll see you the day after tomorrow!”

[What song did ATEEZ choose for their first round?]

“We just finished our practice and it’s almost 1:00AM” Hongjoong faced the camera as San and Wooyoung fiddle with the vitamins in the box with San being forcefully fed. “It’s good for your body.” Wooyoung chuckled as San looked at him in disbelief.

“We have to win first place after we eat this.” Hongjoong declared laughing

“Okay. First place? We can do it.” San nodded, trying to finish what’s in his mouth despite not liking the taste. “People say what’s good for your body, tastes bad.”

“Do each of these taste different?” Hongjoong asked as he force himself to swallow despite the bitter taste.

“Nope. They all taste the same.” Wooyoung laughed when Hongjoong confessed he might not be able to finish his before going off to get water.

“There is a reason why I made you guys eat this.” Hongjoong said as he took out his tablet showing them the division of the teams made in preparation for Round 1 of Kingdom. “So I need your ideas on what comes to mind when you think about pirates?”

San listed of things that first came into mind like guns, sword, and eye patch. Wooyoung adding in that they need the flags “We already have flags right?”

“But isn’t the ship the most important thing?” San asked as Hongjoong writes down all their ideas on the tablet for the KQ teams to check before their meeting tomorrow.

“Hey. Hey there. Park Seonghwa-ssi. Got any ideas?” Hongjoong called out to the him on the other side of the practice room. The three laughing when they noticed what is happening. Minyoung was clinging unto Seonghwa like a koala while the eldest just lets her do what she wants, patting her back repeatedly as if making her sleep.

Minyoung answered “Treasure! Pirates go sailing for treasure with their treasure map.” her sudden answer making the three in-front of the camera laugh.

“I thought you didn’t want to be in today?” San asked the girl who looked up at him from her position before shaking her head. “I’m comfortable here.” 

Seonghwa chuckled before answering Hongjoong’s previous question “Maybe like a compass, a trumpet, or a telescope.”

“You’re saying we should reuse what we used before? I like the idea.”

“Oppa, I don’t think we have the luxury not to use what we have.” Minyoung commented making the members crack up particularly with how she looked when she said it.

“Now that we’re discussing together, we’re getting lots of ideas.” Wooyoung noted as their concept grows clearer as they talk

Hongjoong looked at the growing list of ideas nodding “Yesterday, I watched all of Pirates of the Caribbean in the studio all night.”

“Did you get anything from it?” Wooyoung asked curious what they’ll adopt into their performance.

“I really want fog effects on the stage. You know how the ship appears with the fog? I really want to incorporate that to our performance.” Hongjoong explaining the scene to the members. Everyone agreeing that it’ll look great and cinematic which is perfect for the concept they’re going for.

The next day, the members sat around in their practice room to discuss the details of their performance with everyone. “Since our results for the Introduction Stage was a bit disappointing, we need to get ready for round one.” Hongjoong stated as everyone looked as determined as ever to rank higher this round. 

“Since we’re sticking with the concept of being pirates, it’ll be fun if we make it like a movie.” Wooyoung suggested

“Then Hongjoong-hyung will be Joongyi Depp.” Jongho quipped with Hongjoong playing along. “San will be a swordsman. San has to fight.”

“As for Wooyoung..” Hongjoong looked at Wooyoung trying to think of a role when Yunho suddenly said “Chef” making everyone laugh at the unexpected role.

“Oh! That’s true though. We all need to eat and someone has to be the chef.” Minyoung said through her giggles

“So when a war breaks out, he’ll be fighting with frying pans.” Hongjoong chuckled doing fighting motions as if he was holding pans in both his hands while Wooyoung just laughed in disbelief at the idea

“As for Yunho since he’s tall, he’ll be in charge of raising the anchor.” Yunho nodded before firing another remark “Seonghwa-hyung can be the parrot on the Captain’s shoulder!” At this everyone laughed imagining the it.

[Parrot Seonghwa, featuring Hongjoong’s shoulder]

“I’m..I’m not even a human?” Seonghwa asked laughing at the idea

“For Yeosang-hyung since he is smart, he can plan strategies.” Jongho continued on.

“What about me? What am I? Oh! I can be the doctor! I like Chopper!” Minyoung exclaimed making everyone crack up at the random remark.

“Okay that’s enough joking around. We can position ourselves and show something in terms of our gestures.” Hongjoong explained as the others nodded already thinking of what to do for the performance.

“We’re not ordinary pirates. It’s a contest in a way..so in order to look more fancy and grand, I think we need fantasy elements. For example, we can have the Kraken come out.” Yunho suggested

“So based on what we said so far, let’s scatter and talk to the professionals if these can actually come true.” Hongjoong nodded delegating tasks to everyone

[They split into the music team and the choreography team and continue the discussion.]

“The TF team was formed just for Kingdom.” Hongjoong explained to the camera while Minyoung and Jongho nodded. “All the members are scattered right now.”

"The reason we split up is because we cannot waste time. We still have our promotions on top of making preparations for Round 1. So I came here with Minyoung and Jongho to discuss the music" Hongjoong explained to their producer Eden

“Personally, I think of Jongho’s crazy high notes as one of our strengths.” Eden started glancing at Jongho as he explained his idea, then turning to look at Minyoung who looked at him curiously.

"I was thinking along the lines of showcasing our main weapon and the hidden weapon." Hongjoong continued as he tapped both of them on their shoulders

"Right. People already know about Jongho's strength but I think it's about time we unveil ATEEZ's hidden treasure. So I’m wondering if I should add 3 or 4 levels of pitch for the both of you and blast them away with that." Eden suggested with Hongjoong agreeing almost instantly when Eden declared “Nevermind. Let’s just go with four. Since we’re doing it anyway, we should go all out.”

Jongho shifted in his seat knowing there’s no backing out of this plan when Minyoung sat up and said in all seriousness along with a blank face "Ah. It is time for my death. You’re asking me to die” making everyone laugh at her antics.

Minyoung let out a sigh before smiling “Since my leader says so, I have to prepare myself thoroughly and execute it well. I'll do my best, at least enough not to drag Jongho down!"

"You'll do well bun." Hongjoong grinned already planning how to highlight the youngest two’s vocals for the performance.

[What did you mean by hidden treasure?]

"It's actually a bit of a shame for me to say this..but we haven't really had the chance to let Minyoung's vocals shine in our songs. Although, we've made her do the killing part of songs here and there but she is mostly highlighted for the dance. If I were to put it in figures... I guess you could say we were only able to show off 40% of her potential as a vocalist." Hongjoong smiled before continuing "You can definitely look forward to it."

[Are you feeling pressured for Round 1?]

"Of course! This time, I was given a very important role that could really make or break our performance. I'm nervous but I think the excitement overshadows that nervousness. I just want to show off what ATEEZ is capable of and give back to our fans who continues to support us." Minyoung answered with a confident smile

“Let’s not worry about anything else and make a movie out there.” Hongjoong looked at everyone as they gathered in for their group cheer before they head to the stage. All of ATEEZ nodding with a smile before they cheered “9 makes 1 king!”  

“Is that a ship?” Chan asked as he moved a bit closer to the monitor as the familiar sound effect was heard.

“Waah. That’s so ATEEZ.” Changbin nodded as the ship interior is shown before the music starts

“I guess their entire stage is set inside the pirate ship.” Q noted to the other members of THE BOYZ.

“Everyone has a story.” Eunkwang leaned in, anticipating the upcoming stage.

“I guess they’re going with the theme of Pirates of the Caribbean for this stage.” Jaeyoon noted finding the feeling of the opening similar to that of the movie.

“I guess he’s the Captain. That so cool! He wore a fur coat!” Bobby noted already absorbed in the performance.

“This is a movie. Totally a movie” Chan commented as the scene played and changed into Hongjoong’s opening rap.

“I asked Minyoung what they planned to do for this stage and all she told me is that I’ll understand when I see it. I can see why she didn’t tell me anything now.” Jisung chuckled as Minyoung’s part played after the opening rap.

“They really prepared a lot for this one. So cool. This arrangement is totally my style.” Eunkwang confessed watching the performance intently.

Everyone was surprised when Wooyoung danced together with the bone-breaking dancers but even more when the Kraken came into the screen. Out of everyone, Bobby was the most excited at seeing the creature. “It’s the Kraken!”

“That’s crazy. How did they come up with this idea?” Jisung exclaimed, letting out an astonished laugh

When Seonghwa sang the chorus, everyone’s mouth was hang wide open and cries of joy were heard from the groups as he fired at the creature killing it. The excitement from that scene has not yet faded when the camera changed and zoomed in on both Jongho and Minyoung on the platform as they sang the bridge as if answering one another. They were also unprepared for when both the youngest members of ATEEZ suddenly pulled off a 4-level high note, leaving most of them speechless.

Minhyuk gasped at how high the notes were while Changsub and Eunkwang clapped in admiration, knowing how hard it is to hit those notes.

“Just how high are they planning to go?” Sangyeon laughed in awe at how the two were able to hit the notes clearly.

Inseong chuckled in disbelief before saying “I can’t believe they’re going all out right now.”

Jisung not expecting the high notes let out a laugh, amazed at both of his friends as he clapped for them. “Wow.. Hold on.” Changbin managed to say shocked at what just happened

Chani laughed astonished particularly towards his friend, exclaiming “Park Minyoung! You’re crazy. From the highnote, now you do this?” when Minyoung took center position during dance booster of the last chorus before passing the focus to Seonghwa for the ending.

After the performance, the groups couldn’t help but compliment the group as they showed off and proven that the title monster performers wasn’t a title without reason.

“They’re awesome” Junhoe stated while Bobby who was still excited with the Kraken and the high note agreed nodding endlessly.

(Comments after the performance)

SF9 Inseong: I was really impressed with Jongho-ssi and Minyoungie. They both hit four high notes. SF9 Jaeyoon: Right. I knew Minyoung-ssi could sing well but I never knew she could do it this well. SF9 Chani: *proud smile* Minyoung pulled a huge surprise attack. 

THE BOYZ Juhaknyeon: I was really surprised when they sang the high notes. Really. 

THE BOYZ Hyunjae: Me too. I thought it was over, but they hit another high pitch. It’s a lot more difficult since there are two of them who did it. *laughs*

iKON Jinhwan: When their performance airs on TV, this will be a legendary performance for them.

Stray Kids Felix: The moment the Kraken came out.. *sound of awe* Stray Kids Changbin: I’ll go see it in person. *stands up* Stray Kids Chan: Yah.

THE BOYZ Sunwoo: They chose the performance they could do well and show who they are the best and executed to perfection. 

BTOB Eunkwang: There were no flaws. Even as another singer, I thought it was really cool. 

Stray Kids I.N: When they got off the pirate ship, everyone danced as a  group. That was very impressive for me.  Stray Kids Han: I loved the Kraken. How did they come up with the idea?  Stray Kids Chan: Wahh. Kraken. Really. That’s all I can think about. Stray Kids Han: No wonder Minyoung wouldn’t give me any hints on what they prepared. Seriously.

iKON Bobby: I was so nervous when Kraken showed up. They defeated it. He shot his gun at the end. iKON Jinhwan: You were so happy iKON Bobby: I was so overwhelmed with the grandeur. It was incredible.

ATEEZ finally done with the performance thanked everyone as they made their way backstage. Minyoung hugging Jongho with tears in her eyes saying “We did it. We really did it.”

“You did well.” Jongho returned the hug, patting the girl’s back lightly. He knows how hard Minyoung had to prepare and how high the pressure she felt for this performance. He was really proud of her and glad that they can finally show off her talents through the show.

“This is why people love Kingdom.” Hongjoong grinned at the camera when it focused on him, Seonghwa adding in “It feels liberating.”

“We all had this feeling. After the performance, we had such a good feeling. I was satisfied with that.” Hongjoong explained when asked what he thought of their performance

As soon as the group is back in their waiting room, everyone commented how it felt liberating after they finished the performance.

“When we finished our performance, I felt so proud of ourselves.” Hongjoong confessed as the other members let out a laugh

“Didn’t you choke up?” Seonghwa asked chuckling

“Do you know who cried after the performance?” Wooyoung grinned teasingly and moving his hands to point towards Minyoung who was still a bit teary-eyed.

“Yah. Let her be. She did extremely well.” Yeosang reached out towards his friend patting his arm

“Who says she didn’t? We all did well but you have to admit, Minyoung had a higher hurdle than any of us.” Wooyoung stated defending himself. “I’m proud of everyone but right now, I’m most proud of Minyoung.”

(Phonecall with Chani and Minyoung)

Minyoung: Hello? Chani: Youngie-ah! What’re you doing? Minyoung: I’m at the broadcast station for our album promotions. Why? Chani: Is ATEEZ preparing well for round one? Minyoung: Are you trying to spy on us right now? *laughs* We’re still not done since we have to promote our album well too. Then what about SF9, are you preparing well? Chani: *laughs* yah. We haven’t even started anything. Minyoung: Ahh. That means you’re almost half way done right? What song are you going to do? <Fanfare>? <RPM>? <Now or Never>? Chani: *surprised* Why are you asking- Minyoung: Oh! So It’s one of the songs I said *laughs* so which one is it? Chani: Why did I even bother to call you? *sighs, chuckling* Minyoung: *laughs* Alright alright. Let’s just see each other’s stages during the filming.

[As expected, these two friends know each other so well]

(During SF9′s Stage)

“I talked to Chani last week and he said they didn’t get to practice as much but every time he says that, it always ends up something incredible. I don’t really believe him anymore.” Minyoung told her members as she focused on the monitor.

“That’s also what you told Jisung when he asked, no?” Jongho laughed as the girl shrugged

“It must be <Now or Never> given how they’re describing the song” San concluded

As SF9 started their stage, everyone wondered about what concept they’re going to show for this performance. 

“Omo. That was a mirror? Are they going for Snow White?” Minyoung asked outloud making Hongjoong look at her laughing “Why Snow White?” 

 “I don’t know. They’re wearing red outfits and Snow White has the Witch with the mirror. Don't mind me." Minyoung shook her head realizing how far fetched the theory sounded.

“Oh, I got goosebumps!” Jongho confessed as the song’s overall atmosphere was changed into a darker tone than usual, highlighting SF9’s vocal and acting abilities.

"What is Chanhee doing? Did he suck blood or something? Omo. Are they vampires? Is that what's happening?" Minyoung fired continuously, Wooyoung who was getting distracted by her comments reached out to place a hand over her mouth. "Shh. Let me watch in peace."

"I know I shouldn't say this when their concept is far from it but Dawon-sunbaenim looks adorable." Minyoung commented, trying to stifle her giggle, as Dawon's part came with a mirror on his back. "..it's like he is pouting"

San still focused on the performance pointed to the monitors and said "I have no idea what is happening but this performance screams SF9. It shows off their mature characteristics. It’s all sexy."

“Oh he took his heart.” Hongjoong noted as the music cut off for a second transitioning to a group dance sequence.

“Omo. SF9-sunbaenim. This is really sexy.” Minyoung mumbled with Wooyoung glancing at her, as the opportunity to tease her presented itself again, saying “Are you falling in-love right now?” Minyoung became flustered shaking her head, lightly hitting his arm. “I didn’t mean it like that!”

“SF9-sunbaenim really showed off their acting skills. Their expressions were really on point.” Minyoung exclaimed clapping when the performance ended.

“I really got goosebumps throughout their stage. Wow.” Jongho agreed still in awe of how the performance went.

“But really..they know what the fans want. The fans love concepts that exude these charms and well, they have every capability and the confidence to pull off this concept. They’re all so cool.” Minyoung explained her thoughts from before as the other members nodded in agreement that SF9 does fit well with the concept.

“So are mature concepts are your style? Sexy?” Wooyoung continued to tease her while Minyoung blushed but kept quiet knowing that answering him would only fuel his teasing. 

While this was happening the members of the Minyoung protection squad, as fans would call Hongjoong, Seonghwa, and Jongho, looked at each other with a silent agreement: make sure Minyoung doesn’t get too close with the rest of SF9 if they’re her type. If she’s going to be dating anyone then they have to get through at least the three of them before anything else.

All of the participants gathered inside the studio while waiting for the production staff to tally the results of Round 1 for both the expert’s evaluation and group evaluation. ATEEZ were seated beside iKON, a wish granted for the group as they all wanted to interact and get closer to their senior.

“Later..What time are you going?” Chanwoo asked Seonghwa who was seating beside him. 

“We’re probably going to go straight right after this finishes.” Seonghwa answered truthfully, Minyoung who also heard the question looked over, piping in “We still have a schedule around 8 today.”

Jinhwan nodded before asking “How many weeks has it been since the start of your comeback promotions?” at this the whole of ATEEZ had their full focus on iKON, a bit giddy for being able to talk with their idols.

Wooyoung immediately answering “The first week has ended so it’s the second week now.” to which Hongjoong adding in “We came back around the same time as sunbaenims.

“Ah but the choreography for Fireworks is really intense, how did you have the time and energy to do two performances together?” Jinhwan praised them, in awe and curious how they could manage to prepare for the round 1 stage while having to promote with such an intense song. ATEEZ laughed understanding what he meant but offering no comment.

“Were you the one who did the high notes?” Bobby asked Jongho beside him the latter nodding “Ah yes. I did it with Minyoung” motioning to the girl who bowed to the rapper. Bobby was smiling looking over the two vocalists when Jinhwan explained “Bobby said he became a fan.” 

“Ah. Thank you.” Minyoung surprised to hear the revelation bowed in thanks.

“Yeah really. Those high notes were just out of this world, more than the Kraken. For real..you’ll be first this time.” Bobby smiled as ATEEZ thanked them for the compliment.

Yunho taking in the opportunity to talk with iKON confessed that during their trainee period, everyone watched iKON’s performances and practiced their stages a lot. “That’s true. When we were trainees, during our monthly evaluations, everyone here did at least one iKON song for the test. We all did <Apology> and <Rhythm Ta> together.”

“That must have been tough.” Junhoe chuckled, thanking ATEEZ for liking their songs.

“How long has it been since your debut?” Bobby asked curiously

“We debuted in 2018.” Wooyoung answered

“Ah it has been a while. But it’s tough, isn’t it?” Bobby recalled his own experiences when they first debuted while ATEEZ just laughs awkwardly as they cannot deny that it does get tough. “When do you rest then?”

“When the promotion ends..” Jongho started trailing off, Hongjoong finishing the sentence for the maknae “When promotion ends, we get our breaks then.”

The continued to talk regarding promotions when Bobby suddenly asked them where their dorms are with Wooyoung readily describing the place making Bobby in particular excited as it is also near his residence. San invited him to visit the company sometime while Bobby agreed that he’ll drop by when he can.

“If there’s some time, it would be great to get a meal together.” DK suggested as all of ATEEZ agreed, excited at the idea.

“I’ll get your number sunbaenim.” Wooyoung shyly said making the rest of iKON chuckle and agree saying they should get each other’s contact number before they leave the studio today.

“I already have Minyoung’s number though?” Chanwoo confessed making his group members look at him in disbelief. “Yah. You didn’t tell us that though?” while ATEEZ looked at Minyoung who suddenly felt shy with all the attention she’s getting from both her members and iKON.

“We met through SF9′s Chani.” Chanwoo added in as the girl nodded.

“Ah but..we haven’t really talked after exchanging numbers.” Minyoung confessed shyly, wanting to hide herself or use Seonghwa as a shield. This information made both groups laugh, iKON acknowledging Chanwoo as a true insider for having celebrity friends outside of their company.

“That’s true. Sorry, let’s grab a meal together with Chani.” Chanwoo chuckled an apology. 

“Now we’re going to announce the results of Round 1 that you’re so curious about.” the MCs started while all the groups waited with bated breath. The atmosphere in the studio suddenly becoming tense as no one knew what criteria the experts used for their scores or who the experts were. They also didn’t know how the other groups voted. There were a lot of unknown factor in the show made it harder for the groups to anticipate the ranking for the round, particularly so since this is only 50% of their overall score.

Minyoung suddenly feeling nervous, held unto Wooyoung’s and Seonghwa’s hands, trying to get some comfort. She felt as if she’ll faint the longer it takes to announce the results. 

“Today’s first-place team will be given the authority to select the bracket for round two.” MC Changmin announced as all the groups gasp and commented that points aside, it’s a huge advantage to be able to do decide the bracket.

“I’m curious who the experts are.” Seonghwa wondered

As the MCs announced that all of the expert evaluation scores will be announce all at the same time, Minyoung closed her eyes tight mumbling “I cannot take this. Can you just tell me what the results are? I cannot watch. I’m too scared.”

“I’ll look for you.” Wooyoung patted the girls’ hand, giving it a light squeeze.

[What’s the result of the expert evaluation scores?]

As all of the members gasp, Minyoung who had her eyes closed asked scared “What is it?”

“Minyoung-ah, you can look.” Wooyoung let out a relieved sigh as ATEEZ placed first for the expert’s evaluation scores. At this, Minyoung peeked and immediately hugged the male in her joy. “I’m..reading it correctly right? We’re currently in first?” she asked as if in disbelief

“I’m actually relieved and glad that the things we wanted to do were actually conveyed properly.” Yunho confessed during the group interview.

As the results for the group evaluation were announced, Minyoung immediately hid behind Wooyoung scared that the rankings would change drastically.

[What will be the results of the teams’ evaluation?]

“ATEEZ you’re currently in first place. You wouldn’t want to step down. Do you think the others rooted for you?” the MC asked the group everyone nudged Jongho to answer for the team

“The eight of us finished our performance today without any regrets. Well...I’m not sure.” Jongho let out a laugh nervously as there really was no way to know how the other teams voted. Kingdom is still, after all, a competition. Everyone could have voted strategically to secure the points.

The MCs continued on with the show and as soon as the results were all announced, ATEEZ finally felt like they were able to breathe. They kept the number 1 spot even as the group evaluations were added in. Minyoung bit her lip trying not to cry as she felt the pressure lift off a bit. Seonghwa noticing it, rubbed circles on her back smiling at her. Minyoung turned to him and placed her head against his arm as she took deep breathes to calm herself down.

When asked how she felt during their interview “It just..It feels like our efforts were seen not only by the experts but also by the senior groups. We felt disappointed during the Introduction Stages so we steeled ourselves to do better and rise up the ranks but to actually be rewarded with the top spot just made me feel overwhelmed. It’s like hearing everyone say ‘good job today’ after a long day of hard work.”

“The past two weeks were really hard on us. All of the members has many moments when we were exhausted both physically and emotionally. One thing I can say confidently now that the results came out is that it was really hard, but we did our best. I think I can say that now.” Hongjoong concluded nodding

“We did well. ATEEZ is so lovely.” San adding in making the rest of the members smile, even Minyoung who was trying to fan her eyes with Jongho patting her back in comfort.

“Since we won first place, let’s take this energy and work hard to prepare for a great and fun performance.” Hongjoong declared before they did their team cheer “9 makes 1 team. Let’s do it!”

────────── ♔ ──────────

ATEEZ Minyoung Masterlist

Disclaimer: This is just a work of fiction. Any portrayal of real people is a combination based on what we could see on cameras and imagination of the author. This is purely fan fiction written for entertainment. Thank you for understanding.

━━━━━━ʕ ˵• ₒ •˵ ʔ━━━━━━

Writing Beary Corner

I seriously wanted to cry when I had to rewrite this because the site ate my drafted one. I don’t think I was able to capture the initial feeling anymore and it definitely got a whole lot shorter after rewriting but I tried to at least..make it a bit decent.  Again, I have already drafted posts up to the Reborn stage but Kingdom “episodes” would be slowly posted to avoid spoilers for the people who haven’t watched it yet. 

Thank you and I hope you enjoy reading this!

-Mimi

15

[bluexiao]

what's your opinion on inazuma archon quests and characters? personally, i feel that it's rushed and the quality in writing has decreased compared to liyue and mond. when i started playing genshin i rushed through the archon quests in mond and liyue but still felt like the pace was good. but in inazuma, even when there were waiting gaps between updates in the archon quests, it still felt lacking. plus, i feel like mhy's trying so hard to force characters in inazuma to like the traveler so much. there's a voiceline of ei where she tells traveler she fears what happened 500 years ago, then she says that if traveler was there then perhaps the traveler could have saved everyone or something along that line. and i'm just there thinking like, yeah, the traveler helped inazuma, but ei barely knows us plus she's an archon so i don't think she should be saying such things so lightly? idk if it's just me but mhy's just trying too hard to make everyone practically fall in love with the traveler

hello there! i apologize for the late response but i think i stated my response to the archon quests before but ok lemme say this in one whole post (i’m gonna use they/them for traveler)

(will have 2.1 and 2.2 spoilers)

personally, i enjoyed the 2.1 archon quests; act 1 and 2. the pacing was good, and so is the way traveler acted in most of it. i remembered loving how the traveler had attitude more than they did in mond and liyue quests. but on the last part of act 2, i felt off when they suddenly wanted to join the resistance. by then, i knew that this was gonna be rushed and circle back onto what they were in mond and liyue archon quest.

a very long review utc

first issue: the traveler

the traveler (our) goal was to find their sibling, but then they were now willing to go to war to a literal god just because of what happened? i get the fact that what raiden was doing was wrong, but it showed how traveler will resolve to violence instead of trying to find a way to talk to raiden first. 

now, going to 2.2, it seems like that goal to find their sibling was in the back of their mind because why in the world did they not question ei about it? 

second issue: traveler is the “savior” and “fixer of everything”

aren’t they supposed to be wary? why in the world would they trust someone who doesn’t dress like them, doesn’t talk like them, and doesn’t seem like a mortal at all? even mond and liyue was wary of the traveler, but in inazuma, like you, nonnie, said, they relied on the traveler TOO MUCH. i get that most of them are in great peril and all, but have ayaka done something other than give “missions” to the traveler? she did not even fight the shogun. i get that her family name is in line, but would you rather have a traveler die for you, then? 

as for the ei issue, i think it might be because she trusts traveler too much because of their power and prowess, i think that’s how ei judges people, and she does not trust a lot either, so maybe that shows that her issue might be in dependency than ayaka and the others. still, i can’t say it’s good too. 

third issue: the disaster that is act 3

wtf was in 2.2? we got to know ayaka and even had more time with yoimiya than with kokomi who surely should play a more important role than either the two. kujou sara even had more screentime?? it’s obvious they rushed that first part and not just the last one. 

speaking of the last part, why was “restoration” just a fucking cutscene? do you think people forgive that easily? my point, it is not realistic. even kokomi’s story quest had more info than in the archon quest cut scene, besides, they only showed the positive side, what happened to those who had gotten their visions? were they retrieved? were they able to remember again? to regain their ambition? well who tf knows because there are no guarantees at all!

am i mad? of course i am. act 1 and act 2 had a very nice pacing and it all went down in act 3 where literally everything was rushed. too many plot holes, too many questions. and traveler did not even get to question ei and only got to do that with miko! unlike the previous story quests. ei is the one who traveler had traveled for, why is it a good idea to ask the friend and not the god herself? 

so disappointed, that’s all. i digress. if i remember something i might rb this or so but these are all my thoughts and criticisms! i don’t hate everything, i enjoyed it! it’s honestly just a waste since as a writer myself, i feel like the characters did not get what they deserved (good or not). 

[arhvste]

Okay bear with me but may I request scenarios where kuroo, bokuto, and atsumu are doing the “He got all the drugs and I got all the guns” tik tok trend with their s/o (separately) and like they are wearing the whole shebang heels, dresses, crop tops, makeup, wigs ,etc that’s only if you want to of course n e ways have an awesome day🤩

OMG ARE U A MIND READER I’VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS AND SPECIFICALLY THESE BOYS DOING THIS TREND FOR WEEKS 🤯

just in case you didn’t know i’m referencing this trend 😼

KUROO, BOKUTO AND ATSUMU DOING THE FAMOUS (I’M THE ONE) TIKTOK TREND WITH THEIR S/O

-

KUROO

when you first show him the trend on tiktok he just laughs 

then you suggest the two of you doing it and he goes quiet

he’s really thinking about it 

he secretly is more than happy to do it with you 

but he’ll find out how far he can tease you first

“and what do i get out of doing this?”

“spending quality time with the love of your life duh”

“it’s gonna take a bigger reward than that for the expense of me making a fool of myself online princess”

“PS5?”

then he’s like 👀

he wasn't expecting an actual good reward but if that’s what you’re willing to do for it 

he won’t actually make you buy one for him don't worry

he’s just amused that you’re that adamant about doing it 

he will absolutely let you pick out what clothes of his you want to wear

you’ll pick out what he wears from your wardrobe though because he is not about to stretch your cute clothes with his big body

you end up giving him an elasticated crop top and some loose baggy sweatpants

he will 100% let you do his make up and hold accessories

he is stunning with a natural make up look

a pretty highlight to his cheekbones, bridge and tip of his nose, inner corners of the eye and brow bone

light pink blush on his cheeks and nose

slim eyeliner and a light pink natural lip colour

he actually suggested wearing super obnoxious fake eyelashes 

“i am NOT having you look like a tacky abg kuroo”

“but then we can say you’re a kevin nguyen, it fits”

‘nO!!” 

to finish the look he’s holding a white clutch bag of yours 

he almost looks seductive 👁👅👁

he actually looks so good in your outfit

“i think i pull this off better than you”

you’re wearing some training shorts, one of his favourite t shirts and a black nike cap 

so you set your phone up and the music starts to play

immediately you two are in fits of giggles though 

it takes you two approximately 8 attempts to finally get it right 

and when you watch it back you’re in for a shock

kuroo can throw it BACK

he doesn’t even have a particularly noticeable ass 

like he has one but it’s nothing like bokuto’s

but when he throws it back his ass is thicccccc

even he’s surprised at how well he pulls it off

he pulls the whole routine off

from the way his hips seductively sway, the pure sass in his walk as he struts into the camera frame and the way he rolls his body

honestly you think he makes a better girl than you

“good aren’t i? god i could almost date myself”

“yeah if you’re into 6″2 hairy girls with a hyena laugh” 

he’s looking down at his very manly and unshaven legs

“let me shave it and i’d date myself”

you guys upload it and you’re a hit 

“let’s move to LA right now tell the hype house they’ve got two new members joining”

“kuroo, i am NOT joining the hype house and neither are you. 😐”

overall i really think you guys would have fun with this trend and kuroo makes sure to send the video to both of your families who enjoy watching it as much as you guys enjoyed making it 

“the roles have reversed i’m your pretty girl now y/n~”

-

BOKUTO

he’s the one who brings it up to you

“babe look at this we HAVE to try it please please please!”

you laugh at him and agree to it 

he is so excited he already knows what choreography he is doing

you guys go to get changed and he lets you pick whatever you want out of his wardrobe 

this boy is pure muscle he is huge 

anything of his you wear will be like a dress on you

regardless you still take your time deciding what you want to wear

PLEASE pick his volleyball jersey and shorts he will literally cry from happiness

it would make his whole year 

so you do just that 

he is literally melting at the sight of you in his volleyball uniform

“BABY YOU HAVE TO WEAR THAT TO ALL MY MATCHES”

“-but you’ll be wearing it... at your matches... when you play 👁👄👁”

so bokuto will not be fitting into your tight fitting clothes that's for sure

but he will happen to fit into one of your cute flirty sundresses where the top half is made to be able to adjust the size

he is twirling around and flicking the skirt about once you manage to wrangle him in it 

he’s like a giddy school girl

again, he will definitely be up for you to apply make up on him

nothing too heavy but just enough so you can tell he’s wearing some

pretty light yellow eyeshadow, highlighted features and faded eyeliner

you pull his hair into two tight little buns

he’s really feeling the part now

so you guys go to film the tiktok and he is jumping around like an excited kid

you manage to film your parts pretty well first try but he isnt too happy with his performance

“i don't know i just feel like i could’ve thrown it back a bit more”

so you refilm until he is content with his part

which by the way is after 14 tries so thank the lords you are patient when it comes to him

it is so worth it though

the practices paid tf off because bokuto is throwing his cake about like nobodies business

he be serving a piece for everyone fr 

immediately after you film it he wants to show akaashi 

to which akaashi isn't surprised when he watches it 

he does snicker at his phone when he does watch it though

neither you or bokuto really care about views etc 

this was all just for fun after all but you upload it anyway not giving it much thought

and just like that the two of you are an overnight sensation

comments are flooding the notifications 

“his ass routine? drop it noW!!”

“what's his work out routine i need cake like his 😩😩”

“my boyfriend said he has a fatter ass than me so im currently crying 😔🤚🏽”

the nekoma, fukurodani and karasuno boys are BUGGIN tf out 

they're all calling you and sending you the video for confirmation that it is actually you two 

it’s not like bokuto is hard to tell apart but they still want your confirmation 

“REMEMBER ME WHEN YOU’RE FAMOUS BOKUTO-SAN!!”

“OF COURSE HINATA WHEN WE’RE RICH WE’LL ADOPT YOU CAN LET YOU MOVE INTO OUR TIKTOK MANSION!”

he is SUCH a child but he’s the man child you fell in love with

needless to say this video will be played at the wedding and anniversaries to come 

-

ATSUMU

atsumu is constantly irritating you to be one of those tiktok couples with him

he’s convinced the two of you were made for the tiktok lifestyle 

everytime you roll your eyes and decline 

but you decide to give him the opportunity when a certain trend catches your eye 

“baby, when i said i wanted to be tiktok famous i meant like the dances n cute videos where people compliment us n call us hot. this aint it chief”

“fine then, guess i’ll ask samu”

he doesn't even give u the chance to get up after you say that

“no nO I”LL DO IT 😠”

he is reluctant at first 

ideally he wanted to make the tiktoks where you’re the one throwing it back on him not vice versa

anything to make you happy though i guess

he will pick out both of your outfits

if he’s going to do this tiktok, the least he’s going to make sure of is that you both fit his aesthetic 

so you’re wearing typical clothes he’d wear to the gym

his gym clothes are actually stylish though

you will NOT catch atsumu wearing anything ugly that includes gym clothes

unlike a certain other setter who thought wearing plaid shorts was acceptable cough cough oikawa

he chooses to wear a tight dress 

it’s stretchy though so don’t worry he isn't stretching out and ruining your clothes 

“why are you wearing that? you can see a little too much there ratsumu”

“uh so people can see you have a boyfriend that's obviously packin heat 🙄”

“i hate you 😀”

he is hesitant about wearing make up

but you explain to him since you’re doing it you might aswell go all out so he finally gives in

you won’t put a lot on him though just to compromise with him slightly 

light highlight, blended out eyeliner, natural lip colour 

he’s surprisingly impressed and pulls out his phone to take a few selfies before getting ready to film the ‘stupid’ video with you

he insists he doesn't need to practice

“im good at everythin’ i do and everyone is gonna see that when we film this shit”

surprisingly it does only take you guys one attempt to get it right

atsumu is good at body rolls periodt  

he can throw it back 

but his body rolls chileee

he looks flexible asf 

he is serving absolute attitude 

you also did take notice of him using one hand to slyly cover his private area out of modesty though

because he found you were in fact right about how that dress really did show everything 

he incorporates it well into his choreography though nobody would be able to tell he was trying to cover himself 

“baby we look so fuckin hot. im talkin more bout me but you’re still sexy too”

he adds so many hashtags to the caption

#couple #hot #imhotter #fyp #foryoupage #tiktokcouple #couplegoals #hotboy #sexyboy #hotathlete #attractivemale #eboy #trending #makeusfamous

you just roll your eyes and let him get on with it 

im so sorry but you guys don’t get many views

atsumu is pissed

“we put so much effort in why’s it not gettin attention?!”

“calm down babe we only posted it 2 minutes ago”

give it a few days and you guys do blow up though 

im talking 867K likes

and to atsumu’s delight the comments are mostly complimenting you both 

“told ya this was a good idea”

“it was my idea?? 😐”

-

requests are open!!

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

TWDG: The Final Season | Character Discussion | 1/2

Part 1 | Part 2

“Everyone’s counting on me to step up. Be the leader they need me to be... I really want to be that for them.”  

So.... let’s talk about Marlon. 

I mean, let’s really talk about him. Ever since I started this blog, some common questions I get revolve around Marlon- “How do you feel about Marlon?” “Do you think he deserved a redemption arc?” “Why do you think he was sent to Ericson?” “In your opinion, is Marlon a bad person?” and many others. 

Some ask with expectations that I’ll express a distaste or hatred for him, while others ask with a more sympathetic approach. If you know me, if you’ve been here for a while, then you know that I do indeed like Marlon as a character, and today I want to talk about him from my perspective while playing this game. 

And with that comes a seemingly unnecessary disclaimer, but one I feel I need to add in order to make it abundantly clear: I will be discussing MY thoughts, experiences, and feelings about Marlon within TFS and give my take on his character. Because we’re not the same person, you may have a different opinion or perspective on his character, you may disagree with something I say, and that’s perfectly okay. You’re entitled to your opinion as I am mine, and I do encourage you to join in on the discussion and express your thoughts about Marlon, but I also want to let you know that you can do that without attacking me or anyone else. 

Really, this is pretty much me looking at Marlon’s role and arc within TFS, discussing points of his character that I find interesting, exploring the why’s and how’s of his actions, maybe coming up with a couple theories as to why he was sent to Ericson, and basically giving a lot of personal opinions of him. It’s a discussion meant in good fun, that’s all I’m saying. 

Before we dive right in, I do want to thank @pi-creates​ for providing me with most of the screenshots used in this. I appreciate the help! If you haven’t already, go check out Pi’s blog for some of the best screenshots and model swaps in the TWDG community! Thank you, thank you!

[First and foremost, y��all are sleeping on Ray Chase’s performance as Marlon and it really shows]

“Looks like I was announced as Marlon, the central focus in this first episode of The Walking Dead Season 4 coming in a few weeks. I've been playing this series since the beginning, and it was a real honor to be a part of the canon. I hope you enjoy!“ - Ray Chase’s Twitter account | July 26, 2018

I want to start this off with praising Marlon’s voice actor, Ray Chase, for doing such a perfect job of bringing Marlon’s character to life. Every emotion and infliction feels genuine, and there’s isn’t a single moment where I don’t “see” Marlon, y’know? I mean that in the sense that every line delivered is believable and doesn’t break my immersion with, “Oof, they really used that take?” 

I know we throw praise upon Melissa, Tayla, Sterling, and Gideon [and for good reason, they’re all fantastic, too!] but even with them there are a couple of lines that I notice have a lack of flow or sound just a bit off. I’ve played TFS how many times? And not once have I had that issue with Ray Chase as Marlon, so bravo to this man. Credit where credit is due, his performance is damn near flawless.

Especially in the confrontation scene at the end of Done Running. I’ll get into that scene as a whole later, but just looking at the performance and the intense, impactful emotion brought to that scene, just..... *chef kiss*

Thank you, Ray Chase. 

[What’s up with your haircut, Marlon?]

“Uh, I look cool... I say, I look cool.”

Lemme talk a little bit about Marlon’s design- I think he looks great. 

I love the little details in the Ericson varsity jacket he wears... including the fact that it looks just a tad bit too snug on him. Like, either the boy doesn’t have another jacket or he’s grown so attached to this one that he’s not willing to admit that he’s outgrown it a bit. 

I’ve had a lot of people point out that it’s nice to see a teenage character in these games with actual acne since most media pretends that acne just doesn’t exist, and I agree. We all know that if this were more realistic, then everyone would have terrible, greasy, dirty skin but... y’know. 

And y’know what? I like the mullet! It’s unique! And I choose to believe it’s a representation of Marlon’s past with bad decisions he’s too stubborn to admit were bad decisions... I mean, he’s had it since he was a kid and hadn’t grown it out or cut it off [to our knowledge, I suppose] sooo... there’s that. 

Or maybe he does actually think it looks badass. Either way. 

Hell, my biggest complaint about Marlon’s design is that I wish they kept more to this concept art attire:

Because Marlon looks super good in this concept art. I love the headband with the mullet and his clothes actually look more comfortable... but like, it’s fine. He still looks great in the game, his little jacket’s cool, bringing back the mullet...its fine. I’m just sayin’. He looks great. 

[Marlon’s introduction in TFS]

“It's our little kingdom. I just do what I can to keep the peace. Wasn't always like this, though. There used to be a lot of us, but...you know how it goes.”

Let’s talk about how Marlon’s introduced. 

We get our first look at him after Clementine and AJ crash their car during the walker attack. A bunch of arrows come flying, hitting walkers attempting to get ahold of them, and as Clementine glances over she sees a figure pulling AJ out of the car. And even though you can tell it’s Marlon, this closer shot from Pi-

-100% confirms that it’s him. Not that you had any doubt, but still.

What’s interesting, though, is that while snooping around for some insight about Marlon from the writers/devs, wandering around reddit, replaying the game myself, and even glancing over the all-knowing wiki that’s never wrong ever, it seems agreed upon that Marlon wasn’t alone, despite no one else being specifically mentioned to have helped Clementine and AJ. 

Which makes sense that that’d be the case, but I did come across a handful of people who are pretty adamant that he was alone, which is an interesting take, though I disagree.

I’m pretty sure most people do, too. I mean, Marlon says, “It's good we found you when we did. It wasn't easy getting you two out of that wreck, and walkers were on the way.” So I don’t even think that was the writers’ intention of it being solely Marlon who saved them.

What’s funny is I came across a post Instagram [I know, the most legitimate source for info and thoughtful opinions] that was surprisingly trying to redeem/defend Marlon rather than chastise him by claiming he’s a hero who saved Clementine and AJ by himself. 

The thing is, they’re both unconscious after the wreck, so unless Marlon has super-human speed to grab AJ, zip around the car to grab Clementine, and then uses super-human strength to carry both of them AND their belongings all while killing any threatening walkers coming after them with his bow... I’m gonna have to press [X] Doubt. 

Besides, I like the idea of it being vague. I like to think that was the intention. “Who was Marlon with? A hunting party! You fill in the blanks!” That sort of deal.

With everything that we know about Marlon and the safe-zone, it does lead to questions about why he and whoever felt they had to go outside it to see what was happening. Marlon points out in his conversation with Clementine that they “had to work fast. I don't know what would've happened if we hadn't seen the smoke...” And later Violet mentions an explosion, so I think it’s safe to say that they heard the explosion and followed the smoke to the location. 

If you don’t know about the raiders and the twins [like it’s your first time playing] then you probably assume that Marlon and his group were being kind in rescuing them, which I don’t doubt but it does make you wonder about things from Marlon’s perspective, y’know?

This is one of those “shhh, don’t think, just go with it” moments. If I had to give a reason, I’d say that the group he was with didn’t think twice about checking it out and even if Marlon did protest, he didn’t have much choice but to follow. Then, seeing that it’s Clementine and AJ, I believe he genuinely wanted to save them. 

“All alone with the kid? Not a pleasant thought. I've seen some rough scenes. But that one would've been up there.”

We get our second and more official introduction to Marlon after Clementine escapes her dorm and confronts Tenn... and it’s pretty fucking good. I mean, everything from him being hidden in the shadows with his bow drawn, to the clear concern yet sternness in his voice as he assures Clementine they’re not going to hurt her and to put the knife down, to his sympathetic apology for scaring her is just an A+. 

One thing this season does exceptionally well is introducing its characters. Marlon has such a confident yet chill way about him when you first meet that it’s actually disheartening to think that in two hours he’s gonna be pulling a gun and MURDER....

Sigh. 

Let’s not jump that far ahead yet. I’m not ready. 

What I find appealing about this next part is Clementine’s reaction to seeing the inside of Ericson for the first time and how taken aback she seems by it. I also love how easy and comfortable it is to talk with Marlon as they’re walking through the yard even though we just met him. 

I enjoy that you can tell he’s trying to get a better idea of who she is without pressuring or overwhelming her and doing his best not to offend. And even when Clementine questions if he doesn’t think she can handle herself, he’s decent about apologizing and explaining that’s not what he meant. But he’s also not afraid to be upfront about AJ’s behavior since they brought him here, either.

He does come off as annoyed when talking about AJ being a handful. We don’t know how long Clementine’s been passed out or how long they had to deal with AJ after he woke up, so who knows how much of a little terror AJ was before they either dumped him with Louis or Louis decided to take him to the music room to chill... where he then bit Ruby. 

Anyway, the first impression I got of Marlon is that he’s genuinely friendly, trying to help Clementine and AJ even if AJ’s been a nuisance, and he’s confident in the system he has in place for them. He is rather forward and proud about being the school’s leader when first telling Clementine. 

Having played through the whole season several times and knowing how Done Running ends, it’s interesting to look at Clementine’s first conversation with Marlon with that all knowing perspective- knowing what he did to the twins, knowing that Brody’s involved and that Marlon’s going to eventually kill her, going to try and frame Clementine for the murder, knowing that he was planning on giving Clementine and AJ away...

I can definitely look at this conversation with a more skeptical lens and say he’s more so trying to sell the idea that he has everything under control in this kingdom for kids and he’s a proper leader with a system in place despite being so young with no adults around. But hey, that’s the natural progression- Ericson is a perfectly chill safe haven and the Ericson crew get along swell... except no, the cracks slowly begin to surface as the episode goes on until all hell breaks loose with Marlon at the center. 

[Rosie is best girl]

“You said dogs brought back bad memories. I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were so scared of them. But I swear, Rosie's not as frightening as she seems...See? She's harmless. She just needs to get to know you, is all. Here. I'll show you. Do you trust me? “

I’ll be completely honest- the thing that initially sold me on trusting Marlon the first time I ever played this episode was his relationship with Rosie. 

If you know me, then you know that I love dogs. I have a pup named Piglet that I adore, I’ve grown up with dogs my whole life, and I have a huge appreciation and soft spot for animals.  I’m one of those people that can’t stand others who are mean or cruel to harmless animals. It’s different if you’re hunting for food or if an animal attacks you and you’re defending yourself... but I’ve known people who have gone out of their way to hurt animals. I’m out in a country area with a lot of dangerous roads for wandering animals, and the amount of people I’ve driven with who’ll swerve to hit a squirrel, a cat, a dog because they enjoy it is too many. After those incidents, I cut those people out of my life.  If you don’t have that love and appreciation in your heart, then I want nothing to do with you. 

So when I saw that Rosie, while the school’s dog, is more portrayed to be Marlon’s dog above everyone else, I remember thinking to myself, “Okay, I trust him. He clearly loves this dog, wouldn’t mistreat her, and that’s a step in the right direction.”  

While I wasn’t skeptical of him and his intentions before, it really was that natural relationship he held with Rosie that kind of sealed the deal for me- “I like Marlon! He’s probably going to die because he’s the leader and they never last but when it does happen, I’m gonna be super upset about it.” 

And well, to be fair... I was super upset when he died, just more so than I originally planned because there was also that element of betrayal mixed into the pain, y’know? 

Speaking of trust and Rosie- My second favorite Marlon scene is the office scene. But let’s talk about the Rosie bit specifically. After Tenn leaves and Rosie comes in, she scares Clementine and brings back those traumatic memories of when Sam attacked her. 

Marlon comes in and cools the situation, and I love the way he talks to Clementine in this moment. 

I love that he doesn’t immediately turn to Clementine like, “What’d you do?” but recognizes that she’s afraid of Rosie due to her previous experience, one that he remembers her mentioning. He also knows how well trained Rosie is to recognize scents and people, which explains why she’s behaving that way- she doesn’t know Clementine. 

I feel like I’m using this word a lot, but Marlon’s approach to helping Clementine with her fear of dogs feels so genuine. He holds his hand out and waits for her to accept, and if she does, he walks Clementine through what to do, beginning Clementine’s bond with Rosie. 

“Get down on her level. Let her get your scent. It's okay. She's not gonna hurt you.”

It’s incredibly sweet and humanizing to see Marlon like this. 

The best part about this scene, though, is that you can reject Marlon’s offer and he won’t be upset. 

“No problem. I'm not gonna pressure you.”

And he doesn’t. He doesn’t get annoyed, he doesn’t press, no questions asked, and he doesn’t say anything to make Clementine feel bad for her decision. He respects that she isn’t ready to get close with Rosie.

The reason I love this is because how many times have we made decisions in this game, big and small, and had the other characters get annoyed or try to guilt us? “Oh, you don’t want to bond with the dog? Rosie’s the best, everyone loves dogs! What’s wrong with you?” None of that here. That’s something I appreciate about Marlon in this moment. 

It shows that when he wants to, he can listen and understand those around him... something he clearly struggles with when it comes to certain members of Ericson.

I’ll swing back around and talk about that entire scene in a bit, but one last thing about Rosie... can I just say how heart breaking it is to hear her whine at Marlon’s funeral? Solidifying that she was definitely Marlon’s dog more than anyone else’s? And the way Rosie lays on his grave several times in episode 2? 

Oof. 

[Ericson’s perception of Marlon prior to the final confrontation and after]

“...when the world went to shit, he bailed. All the other adults did. Left us behind to fend for ourselves...  Now it's just us kids left.”

I want to touch on how the Ericson crew seem to view Marlon as a leader before and after the final confrontation.

When looking at and discussing a character, it’s important to not just focus solely on them. You can gather a lot about a character based on how others respond and perceive them.

Not everyone expresses something towards Marlon within Done Running. Y’know, like Omar or Ruby, for example. Though we do get a bit more from them after Marlon’s death, their perception of him is different now that they’ve learned what he’s done and witnessed his murder.

So we don’t know how Ruby, Omar, Willy or Mitch viewed his leadership prior to those events, y’know? It’s safe to assume that they’re fine following him as a leader since they’re background characters at this point and make no objections to his leadership at any time before the confrontation. But, after learning the truth, they turned against him. 

Then things get complicated when Marlon’s murder traumatizes them. 

What a mess.

But for this section, there are two characters I want to get into specifics about. They’re worth talking about because they further Marlon’s character, but they’re not the most important, y’know? Characters like Louis, Tenn, and Brody will get their own sections. 

The one I find most interesting among side characters is Aasim. Right off the bat, you get a feel for what his relationship is like with Marlon:

Marlon: “How'd it go out there?”

Aasim: “How do you think it went?”

Brody: “Be nice, Aasim.”

Aasim: “The safe zone's nearly dry. I could barely find enough for tonight. We're gonna have to scout out further if we want food for the winter.”

Marlon: “We'll talk about it later.”

Aasim: “Bullshit, we should talk about this right now-”

Marlon: “I said later, damn it!”

So... they’re not exactly besties. The game makes a clear point that Aasim is more vocal in his disagreements and concerns towards Marlon than the others. They even reiterate it when you talk with him later:

“He keeps pulling back the safe zone. We have fewer and fewer places to hunt. Which means we're gonna have fewer and fewer things to eat.”

No one else opposes Marlon like he does, not counting Brody in the basement since that’s a whole other thing and Brody will get an entire segment to herself later.

It’s pretty clear that this isn’t the first time they’ve had this conversation, but because Marlon’s in a place of power, Aasim doesn’t have much choice but to go along with it. Because no one else is speaking up, he doesn’t have anyone to back him up, and you can tell he goes with it reluctantly. He also voices annoyances when it comes to how Marlon treats Louis if you go hunting.

Knowing this, you can infer that Marlon doesn’t want to hear what Aasim has to say, and he doesn’t appreciate someone questioning his leadership. When Aasim steps in Marlon’s path and says, “Bullshit, we should talk about this right now-” what does Marlon do?

He shoves his shoulder into Aasim’s as he pushes past, and in a louder, commanding tone, replies, “I said later, damn it!” which leads to Aasim glaring after him... but he doesn’t pursue. Marlon has a hard time with someone like Aasim and his response is to shut him down rather than stop, listen to his concerns, and address them.

That’s something Marlon struggles with as a leader- control and listening. Control over his temper and anger, listening and addressing the concerns of the people he swears to protect.

The reason I bring this up is because Aasim is our first indication that the image Marlon was giving off previously isn’t as spotless as he wants us to believe. Aasim plants a seed of doubt, y’know? He gives an argument that the player can get behind.

“Yeah, why not extend the safe zone? If food is really as bad as you say it is, then what other choice is there? Just be extra cautious so no one gets hurt,” which can then lead to thinking, “Why is Marlon so insistent about the safe zone? Is he hiding something?”

Once that seed is there, it grows.

Now as for how Aasim’s view of Marlon changes during and after the confrontation, you can see that he’s one of the few that wants to hear Clementine’s side to things, and he steps forward after Louis/Violet intervenes.

Then after Marlon dies, Aasim is... well, he’s rather neutral? And I say that meaning he’s more in a middle ground between Louis and Violet, who are on extreme opposite ends. Aasim isn’t okay with Marlon’s death, nor is he okay with AJ killing him, but he can see that kicking Clementine and AJ out isn’t the best solution. Hence why he voted for them to stay.

You can see he’s still angry at Marlon for what he did during the funeral scene, but the game doesn’t care to show more beyond that. Which, in my opinion, was a missed opportunity on their part.  

And because I’m me, I also want to add that this perfectly sets up the idea of Aasim taking over once Marlon died and the writers shot themselves in the foot for wasting him like that. Good job.

Now let’s talk about Violet. People love when I do that.

Marlon and Violet don’t interact too much prior to the confrontation. The most we see them together is during the card game, and they’re chill. Violet makes fun of his hair, he says he looks cool, they’re decent to each other, it’s all good. They’re on friendly terms. 

Which I do find it interesting that she seems like she’s chill with Marlon, but she has such a hard time with Brody. Granted, that’s because she was supposed to go with them but asked Brody to cover her, and then when the twins died, she felt guilty. But you’d think that she’d also have some issues with Marlon, given that he was also there and, like Brody, unable to save them.

You could argue that because Violet and Brody were friends before it had a stronger effect, whereas she and Marlon weren’t ever that close, so it didn’t strike as bad, y’know? 

Though this does kind of get explained later if you choose to stick with Violet through ep4. Well, sort of? A little? She tells you:

Violet: “...I remember how Marlon described it, what we were gonna turn Ericson into. It's not the way any of us pictured it.”

Clementine: “How did you picture it?”

Violet: “I guess I couldn't. I just listened to what Marlon said. How it would be a home, a real one. But I couldn't really wrap my head around it.”

And when she talks about people who cared about her that she pushed away, she does list Marlon as one of those people, which is super interesting given all the loathing she’s done towards him after the truth came out.

It could be that in the past, she saw Marlon as the leader and why would he lie? He’s the one who stepped up, promised that they’d made Ericson into something special, into a brand new home... what reason does she have to distrust him?

So when she finds out the truth... well, that betrayal completely shatters everything she has for Marlon, going as far as for her to believe that AJ was justified in what he did and shit talking Marlon in front of his mourning best friend. 

So her reaction to Marlon after this makes sense, but what does this tell us about Marlon himself?

Again, depending on how you view him, you can look at this idea of Marlon being kind to Violet and them being on friendly terms after what happened to the twins a few different ways- Marlon was manipulating Violet solely for his sake, or Marlon felt guilty that something he did hurt her this bad and tried to make Violet feel better, or both.

I think it was both. After the twins died, we all know the amount of guilt Marlon carried with him, so having to be confronted with the fallout of that in the form of someone like Violet... he had to be careful. I don’t doubt that he cared about Violet or that he tried to reach out to her, but he also had to protect himself for the sake of maintaining his leadership and control of Ericson. So, of course, he had to lie to her which manipulated her feelings about him and the situation. 

I believe Violet recognized it, too. When she says they should’ve asked more questions about what happened, I think that’s her being more pissed with herself for trusting Marlon and not questioning him further, for taking his word for it. 

I’ve come across theories suggesting that Marlon actually manipulated Violet into placing blame onto Brody rather than him, which is why she is on friendly terms with him but not so much Brody. And that’s a valid interpretation. There isn’t any solid evidence of this within the game to suggest either way, but I can definitely see how someone would come to that conclusion. Especially after the confrontation.

Now let’s touch on Violet if you appeal to her, because Marlon does something that makes me go “Hmmmm...”

Clementine, when she appeals to Violet, say, “Violet you have to believe me.”

To which, Marlon immediately steps in and says, “You don't. You met her, like, two days ago!”

He doesn’t even give her a chance to speak. 

With Louis, he’s so overly confident that he has him completely wrapped around his finger that he doesn’t feel the need to say anything. He feels he has control over Louis. But with Violet, he feels his control might not be as strong, so he needs to remind her that she just met Clementine, whereas she’s known him for years- something he uses against the whole group.

And when Clementine tries to talk to her, Marlon takes a low blow and it’s super shitty.

“Don't let her get in your head. Hey, what would Minnie want you to do? She was my friend, too. So was Brody.”

He’s desperate to crawl out of the grave this situation has put him in that he’s willing to go this low, doing everything he can to make sure Violet doubts Clementine... and y’know, whose to say this is the first time Marlon is using Minnie to manipulate her? And when it doesn’t work, he gets frustrated like “Violet being difficult. Why am I not surprised?” which could suggest that it hasn’t always worked. 

It goes back to what I was saying- Marlon tried to get close to Violet and she never let him. She was difficult to be around after the twins died due to her grief and Marlon struggled with that. 

When he finally comes clean, this is where the real shift happens with him and Violet. You can see the hatred burning on her face every time the camera pans over to her now that she’s felt betrayed by him and his actions. 

Right before Marlon dies, if you choose to say nothing, Violet will step forward and start saying that he doesn’t get to stay, but gets cut off when AJ shoots him. 

All in all, Violet is a big case against Marlon and a showcase of how far his manipulation as gone within Ericson.

[Marlon’s office and foreshadowing of motivations]

“Whenever someone goes outside the safe zone, bad shit happens. People die or disappear. I just... I could really use the help, Clementine. Taking care of these kids, it's not easy. I'm worried that if I don't figure something out, if...if I don't fix our food situation... I can't lose anyone else. We've already lost so much. Friends, siblings... I can't let another kid die. It could break us.”

Swinging back around, let’s talk about the rest of the scene in the office. 

First off- it’s implied that Marlon uses the office as a bedroom given the mattress on the floor and some of his personal belongs laying about. Like the photo he keeps of him and Louis. 

The bed isn’t for Rosie, we assume, since we later see her sleeping outside while chained up. This might be just because they wanted Rosie present for the confrontation scene but didn’t want her loose, so they put her outside when you’d think that she’d sleep inside with everyone else. 

Or, maybe she just prefers to be outside when the weather’s nice, or they keep her as a guard in case something were to happen, that way she can alarm them. 

Anyway, why does Marlon potentially sleep in his office rather than in a dorm? Or does he have a dorm that he’ll sleep in, but keeps the mattress there just in case? 

Well, a show of authority, for one. Even if he does keep a dorm room, it’s likely that he made the office his own as a way to be like “The headmaster is gone, this is my office now. I’m in charge.” 

Which makes sense. 

And when you think about what Louis tells us about Marlon having all these sleepless nights and tough calls, it’s not hard to imagine him spending late nights in his chair going over different plans and stressing over the food situation/safe zone, as well as letting the guilt of the twins weigh on him to the point were he’s too exhausted to even leave.

Moving on to the actual conversation between him and Clementine. He does show a vulnerable side to her, which I like. He can feel the pressure he’s under and sense the loss he’s suffered. But...like before, looking at this knowing what I know, it’s not hard to see certain things in a different light opposed to what you’d see as a new player.

What’s interesting, though, is while I do enjoy this conversation and the bits of insight it gives to Marlon’s character, there is this subtle, slightly off undertone of the whole scene after the Rosie bit. 

At this point, we’ve talked with Aasim and he’s planted the seed of doubt.

We’ve heard the story about the twins. Violet came and talked to us about it, we could visit their graves and learn that they died at this time last year. Anyone who has played any game or heard any story can pick up on that the twins are important. They’re not going to use these girls as some throw away lines. They’re going to come back one way or another. 

We’re literally living in their dorm. The dorm that Marlon put us in. They’re heavily connected to Tenn and Violet, two important characters I previously discussed. Then, Violet comes barging into our room and talks about them some more. 

It makes the gears turn, y’know? 

And with Marlon being very insistent that they stay in the safe zone, it’s not hard to question the story about the twins. I went through and skimmed a couple play throughs on youtube to this scene and a lot of them were theorizing that the twins weren’t actually dead or something wasn’t right, some cracks are starting to show. Why else bring it up? Marlon being the one to push the dangers of the safe zone and everything with Aasim... it’s not hard to pick up that he might be hiding something.  

The thing I find fascinating about people’s perception of Marlon is how they interpret his motivations when it comes to Clementine and AJ, and that can be tracked back to this scene. 

We all know that he’s planning on giving them to the raiders if they come back. It’s a hard fact. Brody warned us before she died, and dialogue during the basement scene backs it up. 

But the question I’m curious about is... when did this motivation begin? 

When did Marlon decide that he would give Clementine and AJ to the raiders if they ever came back? 

Because the text doesn’t tell us anything until Brody’s death, I feel like we all have a different moment where we believe that became Marlon’s secret motive, y’know? 

In all my digging, I’ve read posts about this idea, people giving their thoughts on when they think Marlon secretly turned on us, or if he was ever really on our side. 

One has people theorizing that Marlon saved Clementine and AJ with the intention of giving them away from the beginning. 

So he saw taking these two in and earning their trust as an opportunity to save everyone else at the school [the people he cares about] rather than have to sacrifice anyone else like they did with the twins. Clementine and AJ were just a means to an end if the raiders came back. 

Which is a rather sinister way to look at it and puts quite a negative spin on Marlon’s actions towards them - like how he’s willing to let them stay at the school not out of kindness but out of bad intentions, and every kind thing he ever did was to win over their trust so he could lure them out into the woods and do a trade if necessary. 

The line “Take this. I don't want you gettin' lost.” gets pointed at a lot due to how Marlon says it, the infliction of it, and it’s theorized that the hidden meaning behind it is “Take this, if you get lost then I can’t make the trade.”

Same thing with “Just remember to stay in the safe zone. We need you to come back home in one piece.”

Which isn’t a wrong interpretation of this. You can totally look at this conversation between Marlon and Clementine as Marlon subtly foreshadowing his turn, or betrayal, at the end of the episode.  

“...It's how we've kept ourselves from unwanted attention for so long. Well... For the most part, anyway.”

“I can't lose anyone else. We've already lost so much. Friends, siblings... I can't let another kid die. It could break us. Sorry. I'm just... There's a lot of pressure.” 

“What, did you think I was gonna throw you out?“

Then there are the middle ground people who believe Marlon didn’t save Clementine and AJ with that intention in mind, but it started to appear as an option to him either a bit before or during the office scene. Y’know, it came as a passing thought that ended up lingering until he acknowledged it as a solution to a potential problem. 

Again, pointing at the dialogue from before- him suggesting that he’ll do whatever it takes to keep his community alive... just like he did before. 

And while he gets along with Clementine and AJ [or as some would suggest, he appears to be friendly], they’re not his family. He isn’t close to them the same way he is the rest of the school. and if he has to give anyone away, it’s going to be them, whether he wants to or not. 

Marlon didn’t want to give Sophie and Minerva away, and he’s carried that with him up until this point. We see it manifest to a breaking point that lead to Brody’s death and, eventually, his own. 

Finally, there are the people who believe that the idea of giving Clementine and AJ away didn’t occur to him until after the incident with Abel. After Brody panicked and told him about getting robbed, then Clementine claiming they met a man with different colored eyes who wanted food, and the realization that the raiders could be back. 

This is where I personally stand when it comes to this idea. I believe that Marlon didn’t decide on this until he heard about Abel, and solidified it during the fight with Brody down in the basement. 

But what about the dialogue in this scene that potentially has double meanings? Well, I believe that’s the writers suggesting Marlon’s turn and motivations rather than Marlon himself, if that makes sense. Like I said before, you could take nearly everything Marlon says as some sort of foreshadowing or suggestion of what happened to the twins, what his true intentions are with Clementine and AJ, and what will happen to him at the end of the episode. 

That’s the thing- Marlon doesn’t ever go on a mustache-twirling monologue about how he knew he could use Clementine and AJ as trade if the raiders came back and that’s the real reason why he saved them, nor do we see him come up with the idea on the spot. 

Hell, Marlon never admits to the player that he was going to do that. The most he says is, “Shut your fucking mouth! I made the right call. I saved the lives of everyone in this fucking school! If they came back... I'd do it again!”  

Brody is the one who told us everything, and every time Clementine throws it back in his face, he tells her to shut up and threatens her with the gun. 

But from what I’ve tried to gather about what Marlon and Brody talk about in the basement before Clementine gets down there...

Marlon: “Why can't you just do what I ask you to do?”

Brody: “Because we caused all this, and now we have to deal with it!”

Marlon: “I am dealing with it!”

Brody: “By tradin' more of us away? That's not fixin' the problem, that's runnin' away from it!”

[I’ll come back to this full conversation later when I go over the basement scene by itself. It gets pretty dark.]

Which.... yeah. So, I’m not trying to say Brody was lying or anything just because Marlon never flat out admitted it to us the player, I’m just saying that we don’t know for sure when he made up his mind about this since the game never gives a clear suggestion for the sake of his dramatic turn from friend to antagonist. 

Did he have this idea from the start or did he come up with it during this conversation? 

We don’t know, but it’s interesting to look at the different views surrounding this question and how it applies to Marlon’s character. Because yeah, if you truly believe that Marlon had this intention from the start, it makes all of his actions in this episode pretty scummy. And again, that’s not wrong because there isn’t an answer here. 

I choose to believe that maybe the idea came as an unwanted thought in the beginning, but manifested into something real when he heard about Abel. He shared his plan with Brody, who didn’t want to go along with it. 

And y’know what... let’s finally get into the basement scene and Brody...

Continued in Part 2/2

[babel-and-beam]

I've determined that I want the world to misinterpret me. Assuming all my words are my lies is your fault. I'll tell you when I'm lying if you truly ask, but stop acting like these passing questions "How are you?" are real. I walk past 1700 how are yous thanks to corporate & this fake ass community everyday and lemme tell you sumn it felt as empty as they did WAY before I starting working. So no, I don't think you care. Why tf would i? Your actions haven't changed either.

And noting my own hypocrisy from earlier...

I have no problem telling you what's going on with me, but stop acting like actions don't have consequences, good or bad, REGARDLESS of your so-called confidence. As if that isn't another facet of faith in something that you have no real proof about. You literally could be lucky, blessed, cursed, energetically blind, oblivious, or incapable. But sure, it's a confidence problem 🙄 yup, I NEVER believed in myself ever. You know how stupid you sound? As if you know what the fuck is really going on, I can't even fully explain all in words most of the time cause no one gives me the time to do it but me, myself, and I.

Here's the truth: I'm in pain. I'm not suffering. I'm simply in constant pain. I'm not fucking bitter or depressed at my core. I'm upset that the social world is full of bullshit playing the role of the protagonist, who can only be the hero. SOMETIMES YOU'RE THE LEADING VILLAIN. I never thought only my perspective mattered but I just can't stand to care bout none of the rest now. Ain't no one did shit, I just am done. Cause once I start with my rap sheet, I know what kinda responses imma get. And I promise, I'll still hold back cause between the two of us....no matter who I'm looking at...the one who's really afraid and over it all, is you.

I got more love than I know what to do with. Why else do you think I didn't kill myself already?

[we-rate-tmnt]

Give us the Donatellos!

Donnie is my favorite so Imma be super biased on this one. Maybe I like smart guys or maybe purple is my favorite color, you’ll never know!

Up first, the og ‘hehe turgle’

Donatello (1987)

Yeah I’m sorry for making this 

First of all, not the biggest fan of his voice. It has a bit of a whiny quality to it, and I’m not about all that jazz. His gismo’s look pretty lame a lot of the times, either it’s a grey box with some buttons, dials and flashing lights or looks like it was pulled directly from Lost in Space. Still a cute design but he felt pretty bland and seemed to be used for plot convenience most of the time. To put it simply, he was cute and essential but kinda bland. I’m always really harsh on this version because it’s so painfully dated and cheesy, which ain’t my cup of tea, but what can I say be hehe turgle.

5/10

I had a crush on this Donnie so you know that this is not remotely close to a fair rating but eh, I love him and yall do too

Don (2003)

His voice, such a huge improvement. I’m really sound-oriented and I often like to play a game of ‘I’ve heard the VA before, but which role?’ when I watch cartoons and I don’t mean to brag, but I’m pretty good at it. So when I heard that soft, caring voice, ten year old me was head over heels. Which is one quality I love about him. His heart is so huge, like I can think back to a bunch of side characters and most of them were introduced through Don helping or knowing them. The Atlantians and the homeless in the show owe so much to Don, but he goes out of his way to make sure that they are alright. In the last season (which everyone hated but I actually really liked so fuck me I guess), Splinter is lost into tiny pieces across the web and Don blames himself and goes without sleep and food for days to bring him back. It broke my heart, and I’m pretty sure a lot of others, to see him like that.

On a lighter note, I vaguely remember this one scene where the triceration dude is like ‘you did this!’ and Don’s like ‘I did? Good for me then.’ and had a very pleased grin on his face right after. I don’t know why, but that killed me. Bless Don and his rare, but excellent, comebacks.

He really does so much and there were quite a few episodes focused on him. He also had quite a bit of character development, not as much as Leo, but whoever gets any more development whatsoever besides Leo?

I love him he’s amazing protect him/10

Next up is the Donnie that helped me love my old gap tooth.

Donnie (2012)

Voiced by the very talented Rob Paulson, this Donnie goes back and forth from really great character to eh. The whole April thing was just kinda strange to me and I don’t really think it added anything other than some interesting Casey and Donnie banter. His crush was really strong the first two seasons and came off as stalkerish almost. Although I’m guilty of having a picture of a crush as my lock screen once as well, so I can’t judge that much. I really liked that they actually addressed this when Bigfoot had a crush on Donnie and he realized how April felt. Yeah, that episode was weird and just didn’t make any sense, but it really helped Donnie gain a new perspective and made him go from super crush to (mostly) hidden pining. He has a nice design as well, especially with the gap tooth. I used to have one and was really embarrassed of it but whenever I saw that Donnie had one, I thought it looked neat and I started to see myself in a more positive light. It’s closed up now, but I can still spray water between the little bit that’s left as a parlor trick. But seriously, what the FUCK was up with Don visiososoos whatever tf his name I I don’t understnad my tiny brain don’t understand why my purple boy tried to kill this dude who looked like he should’ve been wearing a red jumpsuit in the background of a pixar robot love story. Anyway, my tall gap tooth son, ily.

7/10

Then, the barely changed but fantastic

Donnie (Heroes in a Half Shell: Blast to the Past)

Baby but Bastard at the same time purely because of the ‘Anyone who bothers me, ejector seat button’s right there’ line. 

10/10

Now this version has one of my favorite designs out of all the Donatello’s!

Donatello (2014/2016)

They put a lot of thought into his design psychically, the long body, the near-constant look of surprise and curiosity in his features, the gadgets made of common objects, the wraps on his arms, I would love to be able to think of and make those kinds of details! It was all really well thought out and he stood out since he wasn’t as bulky as the rest of the turtles. I really like the little lines and the actor did a fantastic job on the delivery and really made the character come to life. Some favorites: ‘Ohmygod, they have guns’, the little awed, snorty chuckle when he flips a car over with his bo staff, ‘doitdoitoitdoit im not gonna stop til you do it doditdoit’ and when he straight up yeets himself out of a plane. He has a genuine curiosity in everything he does and I think he might be my favorite version. It’s hard to choose when it comes to Donnie because he varies so wildly. But for detail, voice and writing alone, definitely the 2014 Donnie.

8.5/10

Next up is God himself

Donnie (2018)

Chaotic as all hell, like I can’t think of a more chaotic character from ANY of the versions other than this Donnie. I have a lot of thoughts about his character in general, from design, to psychology and complexes. First and foremost, Donnie is a softshell turtle, meaning he has a DOPE battle shell and overall looks pretty damn neat. Although, I think that just the fact he’s biologically weaker has caused him to put up a lot of boundaries between him and his family and friends. He can’t be incredibly strong like Raph, agile like Leo or fast like Mikey and even though he brags about being smart, he feels almost beneath his brothers and strives to outdo them in any way he can. He wants to show them that he’s just as, if not more so, talented and feels overlooked because his inventions become ‘too smart’ or ‘too over the top’ and even the ones that work out incredibly well are written off for flashier projects. 

He depends on technology and feels like that's all he has, and (ironically enough) he’s built up a shield around him. He acts confident and narcissistic and has an almost nihilistic outlook, but he’s frustrated and feels inferior and wants validation more than anything. I came up with this theory when I saw the episode Turtle Dega Nights. I know that the scene was meant for Donnie to express how he feels about Splinter lying about the event and believe that he didn’t genuinely want to hang out with his sons, but that kind of thing feels like it’s been built up over time, like he’s been lied to before about the true meaning behind something. Something like, oh idk, how great his inventions are? Or how helpful he really is? Or how talented he is? Just sayin. Also ngl I might be self projecting a bit, but mmm. Also he has so much purple on him and it’s wayyy more accurate compared to just a purple bandanna bc people who like purple GO ALL OUT. A friend told me this and I thought ‘nah thats not true I like purple’ but then I looked down to find my dyed purple jeans, purple vans and my favorite hoodie, also purple. A really chaotic version but he seriously needs a hug.

9/10

Storytime: One time my friend dressed up as Donnie the same year I was dressing as April O’ Neal and we didn’t even plan it. It was fantastic.

Thank you so much for sending this in! Sorry it’s taking me so long to get around to these! I’m so glad you guys are liking my blog and my opinions!