#why is she the millers daughter AND the queen of hearts it’s so unfair

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Regina’s mom just kissed Rumple on the lips for real and honestly it’s really offputting to me because I don’t like her 😭

[velvet-tread]

Unfiltered sweary mess: 507 edition

I had thoughts so I decided to this again. Let’s hope it doesn’t become a habit.

Let’s start with the Bellarke of it all, and the sheer joy of seeing them hustle up a plan together on the fly. AND LISTEN I am not on the #bellamysucksnow train, or the #bellarkeisdead train either and as such fair warning there is squee incoming. It feels like the core of the show has returned to us after s4’s barren years and IT IS GREAT. And honestly? I don’t care that romance isn’t in the air between them RIGHT NOW. I thought I would mind but I don’t. It feels right. It feels true to Bellamy, and it feels true to Clarke, and it feels exactly like the vibe I’d expect and want between two characters who love and respect each other and their choices, who have been apart for so long and need to reconnect. Let’s do right by Clarke and Bellamy, yeah? We’ve waited for 4 seasons (the last of which gave us sweet fa) we can wait a little longer.

And seriously, even if it turns out they are just beautiful co-leaders with a lot of professional respect for each other (yeah RIGHT) they could never, ever kill that relationship for me as long as they are in scenes together like this. I don’t care if they don’t bang (call me out on my lies someone), but the concurrent Bellarke scenes in the dining hall, and the triffid room, and then on Echo-watch just gave me so many OTP vibes. Bellarke are at their most effective when they’re together, even better when they have the support of their genius friends. And we got a return of the Bellarke dry-as comedy double act WTF @the100writersroom are you trying to be good at your jobs or something.

Top bantz, as we’d say in Essex.

Too bad the Bellarke unity ain’t gonna last, but thankfully, Bellarke are just as awesome when they are just…very angry and exasperated with each other ok, but DON’T HURT YOUR PRECIOUS SELF I MAY BE FURIOUS BUT WHEN DID YOU LAST SLEEP AND DO YOU NEED SOMETHING TO EAT

Great to have Monty back in the frame cutting through everyone’s bullshit. I thought he’d been relegated to a bit part this season. Oh ye of little faith. Does anyone realise that Monty is the biological weapon earth forgot? Put that angry face in a room with Octavia and see how long it takes for her to crack and wither from Monty’s externalised disappointment with everyone and everything.

Bellamy burning Octavia ow ow ow. I’ve already spoken about this at some length but damn that hurt. And it was deserved, but still spoke to the depth of his contempt for Blodreina.

Which brings me to…BELLARKE V BLODREINA: GRUDGE MATCH

And man, was this grudge match some time coming. To make sure the audience was VERY CLEAR on EVERYONE’S MORAL STANDING, the show helpfully prepped us with some little reminders that Bellamy helped commit a massacre, and Clarke did a load of horrible human testing in Becca’s lab last season. Thanks show.

So, all armed and loaded, the mud slinging began, and boy was it awesome.  First of all Bellarke takes Octavia to task about the worms and TURNS OUT OCTAVIA DIDN’T KNOW which get a grip on power here Octavia because it’s slipping from your grasp faster than you can say Wonkru Barbecue (shoutout to @mego42 – your time is coming). But Miller obviously watched the earlier part of the show and recapped for Octavia just in time because she’s ready for that shit and fires everyone’s dark past back at them. Cue: Bellamy’s best frowny face and Eliza Taylor’s saddest, most regretful Clarke eyes.

Bellarke disarmed and cowed (for now) live to fight another war they don’t want to fight.

But Octavia’s grudge match continues in her office when Indra enters with the intention of being reasonable, which is exactly the kind of shit Blodreina has warned her about before so help her god.

Indra is, obviously, the Queen of Everything and My Heart and delivers some bitchass Truths as Indra is wont to do and Octavia rewards her by throwing what my mind remembers as a skull but was probably a paperweight because why would Octavia have a skull in her office *nervous laughter*

Indra leaves, still Queen of Everything and My Heart, but not before delivering a portentous warning about losing yourself in the dark, which obviously Octavia is not going to listen to because DAUGHTERS, MAN.

Talking of daughters, Madi trying to suck at training was the most adorbs thing I’ve seen in a long time, guys and I am subscribed to a LOT of cat blogs. And man I felt for her. Sucking at anything sucks, and sucking on PURPOSE is just the height of unfair. And she’s in a new school! And the other kids are mean! And maybe they eat people!

Serious question though: from whence did Madi learn her swordswomanship? Clarke? Helios? Roan? (too soon?).

But don’t blame Clarke, Madi! Clarke’s Madi feels are pretty much on a par with mine which means she wants to cry every time she looks at her earnest little face AND CLARKE I FEEL THAT SO HARD YOUR BABY IS ADORABADASS. Which also means MAMA MODE ACTIVATED when Vodka Aunt Octavia starts messing up that precious braid she put in Madi’s hair earlier.

Hey Vodka Aunt, you don’t just get to come in here and make executive choices about Madi’s career, especially given your past efforts at parenting *looks at Ethan*

Oh, oh, oh and WE GOT A RETURN OF THE MUSICAL INTERLUDE! It was like Knocking on Heaven’s Door and Early Seasons feels all over again. But I gotta say Jason, fresh from the Sense8 finale my musical interlude expectations are higher these days and I was a bit disappointed there wasn’t a dance off. Perhaps an orgy or an endgame B/C/E triad instead? *Wanheda jaw clench*

But anyway that whole sequence of Clarke sending Madi off to her first day of training sent me in to a spiral of sadness that lasted for a lot of minutes I wasn’t counting. It was very sad and I am sad about it. Poor Clarke.  Just as well Octavia helped her remember she’s motherfucking Wanheda.

MY GIRL ECHO MY GIRLING UP THE HOUSE.

Let’s just take a moment to appreciate what a babe Echo kom Spacekru nee Azgeda is.  First of all: EVIDENCE OF SPACE GIRL SQUAD and I am all here for that. Second of all Echo is officially the first person on the show to get one over of Colonel Charmaine Diyoza SOMEONE GET ME A FUCKING SHOT.

And listen up everyone who bashes at their keyboards dribbling with rage about the things other women like on television: I love ladies with swords and if you want an apology for that you’ll have to prise it out of my cold dead body. But can we just take a (second) moment to appreciate that for all of Echo’s badass sword skills, she is Clarke Griffining up this joint like a motherfucker. Echo is as Slytherin as Clarke and as sneaky as Clarke and as smart as Clarke and that manoeuvre she executed with Zeke and Raven was 100% a Clarke Griffin move, don’t @ me.

It’s almost like….they’re similar….on purpose….

Shout out to all the smart, insecure girls who aren’t sure if they belong. Learn to swordfight, use your brain, and get yourself a girl squad and a soft space dad boyfriend.

Sidebar: Clarke’s faith that Echo would take the eye down and her admiration when she does will keep me in Clecho feels for months.

But friends…I am the most fervent of Echo stans and Becho shippers and I am AFEARED. She is very much circling the abyss here and it gives me a sick feeling in my stomach. I believe Raven will forgive her (FOR WHAT CAN SOMEONE PLS ENLIGHTEN ME AS TO WHAT RAVEN IS SO PISSED ABOUT??) and I believe the rest of Spacekru will 100% understand what she did because it was presented to us as an understandable choice.  But but but… what’s next?  Diyoza ain’t gonna take the turn the other cheek approach to learning that Echo took down her eye in the sky. What if her next move is to make *Echo* her eyes in exchange for safe passage for Spacekru?

*sweats forever*

That seems like a Diyoza move. And like…where would that leave Echo with Bellamy? Her choice would be: tell him and risk the whole mission and/or turn him into a lying liar to his sister too, or not tell him and risk their entire relationship and hurt him very badly. I think I know which one my loyal girl would choose and how that would end.

Fuck fuck fuck fuckity fuck fuck fuck.

*ugly crying*

I’m not ready.

Okay it’s time for a Raven rant. What the hell is going on with Raven this season? Raven has had some beautifully executed arcs in the past, and I am high key here for her to finally get some NC-17 action now she’s done all that Work On Herself, but if Raven’s arc in s5 amounts to RAVEN DIDN’T GET BONED FOR 6 YEARS AND NOW SHE’S GETTING BONED then Imma flip a table.

Sidebar#2 obviously Raven got boned on the Ring, it’s not like they would have had a space orgy without her, come ON.

And just… I’m sorry I don’t get the Zaven. When they released the s5 pics I thought WOWZA these two are gonna be gr9 together and LOOK HE’S A SPACE EXPLORER. How could this possibly go wrong?  But somehow, they’ve managed to introduce a character who, on his own, is 10x as compelling as Wick, but has about -100% of the chemistry with Raven. Which is???? Some kind of alchemy??? how has that happened? I love Zeke! I love Raven!!! They’re both MAGNETIC on screen. On paper they should be a perfect fit but it’s like whenever they’re in the same scene together I have the sudden urge to check my emails.

And someone, please, just tell me what work Zaven is doing for either of these characters. What’s Raven’s conflict? How does Zeke resolve it? Is it *literally* Raven being presented with a hot dude with a similar skill set? Sorry I’m out.

And before anyone comes at me with the usual packet of whining about how Echo has stolen all of Raven’s screentime, I’d beg you all to remember that there is no law saying that one woman’s time on tv has to be at the expense of another and this is a GIANT SEXIST TRAP DO NOT FALL FOR IT.

Talking of out, Kabby is also circling the drain and [averts eyes from discourse].

But I’m calling Diyoza’s ship name, and if she bangs Kane I hereby pronounce it TEQUILA [whatever Kane’s ship name is, someone hmu].

OK I need to talk about Gaia now before I get shot down by a thunderbolt. The girl creeps me tf out but I SOMEHOW LOVE HER NOW. This is new and unnerving because feverish religious types are not usually my jam ESPECIALLY if they present Clarke’s daughter with a creepy sacred flash drive that they want to insert in her neck, but somehow Tati Gabrielle nails that line, even if my reaction seeing the Flame was exactly the same as my reaction to seeing the worms.

But I believe Gaia’s intentions, while creepy, are pure. And WHO PICKED UP on how fluid her loyalty is? She will serve Blodreina faithfully as long as she reigns. Huh.

In other news McCreary, and more importantly McCreary’s undercut, were absent from this episode I hope they are both enjoying Memori’s couples counselling retreat. I look forward to seeing his glazed expression next week as I cry my Becho tears.

[spaderstories-blog]

Liv and Reddington - Part2

There was a big crowd outside. Liv closed herself in to the toilet for a bit to get some peace and quiet. It was a horrible day. Her cousin’s wedding. She was one of the bridesmaids, which was unfortunately unavoidable. A wedding in her family was a big thing, all the relatives come together to “celebrate”, which usually means to dig a little in each others life. She never liked that but after what happened to her almost 8 months ago, she hated it even more.

Everybody was asking, why did she change job, because she had such a great position at that shipping company, and took an other one for less money and her decision didn’t make sense for anyone. Especially for her parents, they were kind of disappointed in her, or just angry, because her only explanation was: ‘I had enough there, I needed new challenges, wanted to meet new people, new colleges…’

Of course all of this was a lie, but she couldn’t tell them or anyone, what exactly happened. That her boss was somehow involved in some shady business and crossed the road of the most wanted criminal of the FBI, (yes, she looked into Raymond Reddington), and that she met this man, told him everything about her boss and had the best sex with him in her whole life.

She just couldn’t get over him, he was haunting her dreams, she was seeing him everywhere however she knew she just imagine the whole thing.

Somebody knocked on the door.

‘Olivia, what the hell are you doing inside so long? Come out right now! Mr. Miller just arrived, and I really want you to meet him! He has a very successful company and if you play your cards right, he might will offer you a position’

‘Oh for Christ sake mom, I’m fine with my job, thank you very much’ said Liv and got very annoyed and she couldn’t hide it when she opened the door. She was such a mess after that affair with Reddington, she really didn’t need this shit right now. But she knew to meet that man was unavoidable, however she was hoping she can get rid off him as soon as possible. So she followed her mother back to the ballroom to get introduce to Mr. Miller.

He was standing with his back to Liv and he was talking with her aunt, and in that second she felt a bit sorry for him. Her aunt was a queen of gossips, and she was sure that Aunt Mary spent the last few minutes to tell everything about Liv to this complete stranger. Liv rolled her eyes and was thinking how unfair that we can’t choose our family. Mr. Miller wore a tuxedo, he has a shaved head and he was holding a glass of champaign in his hand. Liv’s heart stopped beating for a second, Mr. Miller reminded her to that mysterious criminal, but she shook her head, because it was impossible.

‘Oh Mr. Miller, please let me introduce my daughter, Olivia. She is our only child and we are really proud of her, she'd been at the top of her class’ started Liv’s mom, but she decided to cut this conversation short right here right now, before it gets more awkward, so she turned to Mr. Miller and started:

‘Oh please Sir, let me apologize, my mother is a bit…’ but she couldn’t finish the sentence when she look on his face.That man wasn’t Mr. Miller. It was HIM. She couldn’t believe, it couldn’t be true, she must be hallucinate or something.

‘No worries Miss Thompson, your family is absolutely delightful.’ he said and he didn’t take his eyes from her face.

The world started spinning with Liv, she felt she couldn’t breath. Her aunt’s “detector” for a good gossip turned on and a disaster was on the way…

And in that moment the dj started to play the music and Red said:

‘Oh, Miss Thompson, I hope you give your first dance to me. If you forgive us..’ grab her hand and take her to dancefloor. Aunt Mary and Liv’s mother stayed there without saying a word.

The dj put on the song Run to you from Whitney Houston. They started to dance, and Liv felt the outside world stopped existing. It was only her and him. Red was a great dancer, he hold Liv tight and led her through the dancefloor.

Alomost everyone was looking the couple, and started to whisper, who is he, do they know each other. The dance was more than a simple dance, Red was basically making love to her in front of everyone.

During the dance Liv asked him

‘What are you doing here?’

He smiled on her and said, referring to the lyrics of the song

‘I’m here, cause I want to hold you in my arms and keep you safe from harm’

She was speechless. The song ended and the spell was broken Liv looked around and saw everyone was staring them. Red saved the situation,

‘Thank you for the dance Miss Thompson, it was a pleasure’ and walked her away from the other dancing couples. And suddenly some rattling noise hurt Liv’s ear, turned towards it and saw one of the waiter dropped a full tray of champaign glasses on the floor. Red used this moment, when all the guests looked on that poor waiter, hold her elbow and led her out from the ballroom, before anyone would notice it.

‘Where are we going?’ she asked, but a next moment they were already in the elevator. Red was leaning closer to Liv, look deep in her eyes and put his finger on her lips. Liv was on fire, and the only thing she wanted to finally feel his lips on hers. But Red didn’t kiss her.

‘Why are you doing this to me?’ she asked desperately.

‘Oh Miss Thompson, this is just a foreplay. I want to make sure my little wet angel is back’ and he smiled pretty insolently.

The door of the elevator opened and Red took her in one of the rooms. When he closed the door he turned to her and said:

‘Come here Liv’

She walked towards him. ‘Turn’ he said, and he started to undress her. Few moments later her bridesmaid dress fall down and she stood there almost naked, only wearing white sheer lace hold-ups and a white thong. Red let out a satisfied sigh and gave a kiss on her neck and started rubbing her breast. She felt like in heaven. Red slipped one of his hand under her thong and felt how turned on was Liv.

‘There she is, little angle’ he winked and led her to the other side of the room to in front of a large standing mirror in the corner.

‘Look at you, you are beautiful’ and looked right in her eyes through the mirror while he was rubbing her hard nipples. She was so aroused.

Red stepped away from her to undress too. He removed his bow tie and jacket and dropped on the bed, he unbuttoned his shirt half way and rolled the sleeves up. He pulled an armchair front of the mirror and told to Liv

‘Bend over and hold yourself’, she did and heard the him to unzip his trousers and the next moment he was inside her. He felt so big, she was just about to lose it, she moaned with every thrust. Red moves were fast and wild but he suddenly pulled himself out and sat in the chair, he was still almost fully dressed and looked so cool. Liv couldn’t hold herself back, kneeled down and grab his pulsing penis. She licked the tip of it felt his and her own taste on in. She started to lick from the bottom till the top and threw a glance at his face. He was heavily breathing and when Liv run her tongue around the tip of his shaft he twitched his upper lip a bit. Seeing this she took courage and suck on the whole thing, moved her head up and down, Red hold her head to help her to find the right rhythm. He was moaning loud, but he stopped her and pulled himself out from her mouth. Liv look up on him disappointed and told him

‘No please, I want you to cum in my mouth, I want to feel your taste.’

‘Oh Miss Thompson, your wish is my command, but not now. I want you sit on it with your back to me, I want to watch you in the mirror while you ride’

Liv’s leg were like a bowl of jelly, but she did what he told her. She took his big erected penis and slowly let it inside her. When he was fully in, both moaned. Liv started to ride him, slowly first to adjust her body to his size, but when she felt the pleasure she fasten her moves. Red hold her hip with his hands and told her

‘Liv, I want you to rub your clit while you ride’ so she did.

‘Oh my God, look at you, come on, open your eyes Olivia, look at me’

She did what he asked, her finger circled around her clit and the whole situation was so steamy and hot that she couldn’t take it any longer, shouted Raymond’s name just before she climaxed. Her head was spinning around and felt so light. She needed a few moments to pull herself together and she realized, that Red didn’t come yet.

‘As I said you before, I’m the man of my word. Down on your knees, Miss Thompson and open your mouth’

She took his large penis in and started to suck on it. She felt it pulsing and from Red’s panting for breath she knew he is close too. He run his finger through her hair, grab on it and unloaded in her mouth. She swallowed it all and licked his shaft clean. After she sat in his lap, hugged him tight and whisper to him:

‘I’m so glad you found me’.