#why is posting fic in a new fandom always so nerve wracking

[msmargaretmurry]

What is writing advice you would give to someone just starting out?

ohhh you know i love to talk about WRITING. this is mainly geared at people just starting out writing fanfic but most of it can probably be applied to original fiction and other types of writing too 💕

first of all: be patient with yourself. like all other skills, writing is something that takes practice to get good at! i've been writing for YEARS and am still constantly learning and growing as a writer. if you're just starting out and you find yourself getting frustrated that the stuff on the page doesn't match the stuff in your head, it does NOT mean you're bad at writing. it just means you need more practice. do you think the first fanfics i wrote were good? no, they were incoherent and you will never find them.

write about things that you're excited to write about. whether this is the most popular pairing in the fandom or a rarepair you made up on your own, go with your passion! i know this can be hard because everyone wants the higher amount of comments and kudos that comes with posting popular pairings, but i promise that writing something you're excited about is like step one in getting yourself to write regularly. literally if you read a story you love and think "i want to write a story like that" then write a story like that! figure out how to take the things you loved in it and make it your own. drop the author a note and say they inspired you!

take all writing advice with a grain of salt. i watch a lot of writing advice videos on youtube, and i read craft books and articles on writing craft, and i've learned a ton of stuff from those over the years, but i've also learned that it's totally okay for me to be like "actually i think i disagree" and do it my way. (this does not apply to basic punctuation and grammar tho. please learn those, or get a beta reader who knows them really well. and then you can tactically decide if/when you want to break the rules sometimes.)

everyone has their own writing process. you can watch a million youtube videos on outlining but if outlining just doesn't work for you, videos aren't going to fic that! i used to outline a lot and now i mostly discovery write (i find the term "pantser" so unserious, lol). it took me a long time to develop a writing process that worked for me, and it'll take you some time, too, so don't be afraid to try new things and then set them back down if you're not working for you.

READ. read read read!!! do not just read fanfiction. do not just read the kind of thing you want to write. read WIDELY. and think about the writing while you're reading! if a fic or book is doing something really well, think about what's making it work. if it's doing something that you don't like, think about why it's rubbing you the wrong way and/or how you would fix it. i always say that even if i wind up not loving a book, i always learn something from it, craft-wise, so i very rarely feel like i wasted my time.

TALK about writing with your friends!! i know this one can be tough if you don't already have friends who are into writing, but i am so serious about it. buddy-read books or fics together and then get together afterward to talk about how you felt about the writing, the plot, the characters, the story as a whole. find someone(s) who will let you bounce your own writing ideas off of them, and who will read as you write to cheer you on and help you with tough spots. do the same for them if they want it! writing is such a solitary act that you have to be deliberate about building community around it, and having that community is so worth it.

on feedback: yes, having someone beta read your story can be pretty nerve-wracking. i have (once again) been writing for years and i still get nervous sending something off to be beta'd. but! having a beta reader you trust is so good for your writing. sometimes it really does just take a second set of eyes to spot typos, find plot holes, call you out on writing quirks and habits that you can't see for yourself because you're too deep in it. and it definitely helps to have a friend whose taste and skill level you trust to help make your story better. have a conversation with your beta beforehand to discuss what kind of feedback you're looking for, the timetable for how long they think the beta reading is going to take, how harsh or gentle they should try to make their feedback. if you're nervous about getting a lot of suggested edits, ask them to point out things they really like in the story as well.

OH ALSO. it's totally fine if you're struggling a lot with a story to just set it down for a while and work on something else. as you keep writing, you'll get better at figuring out what kind of writer's block you can beat by pushing through and what kind you need to deal with by just giving a story time to percolate more.

ok i think that's all i've got tonight. 💖

[mischievouslittlecreature]

Hello! I hope you're having a lovely day/night! 😊 Just had to pop in to show some love for your writing. I stumbled upon your fic, Love Me Where I'm Most Ruined, a lil while back and I'm obsessed??? I flew through it so quickly, I just couldn't stop reading! I apologize for not leaving comments as I went, it's like I was in a trance, just had to keep reading 😭😂😂 I'm also somewhat new-ish to the fandom and interacting kinda gives me anxiety, but I'm working on it lol. I'm gonna do a re read sometime soon and I'll let you know my thoughts, gonna spam you with love probably, your story certainly deserves all the love. 🥰❤️❤️ I also see that you've recently rewritten/edited some parts? As if I needed another excuse to re read this whole fic 🤭 Truly, one of my absolute favorite fics I've read. I love the story you've built and I adore your characters so much. I'm in love with Lucy, for real. Obsessed with her. I also haven't read many fics (if any) that are pro Grace. I think that can be a bit controversial in the peaky fandom?(sadly) But holy shit!! I LOVE how you wrote her whole storyline. You broke my heart tho, but I still loved it! 😂 I didn't intend this ask to be so long, please forgive my rambling! You posted your latest chapter on my birthday and girl. Birthdays aren't always the easiest for me and this one was kinda rough. Honestly, reading your fic was kinda the highlight of my day. An unexpected delight! A little gift you didn't even know you were giving me! I literally squealed in excitement lol! Anyways, I just wanted to say thank you for sharing your stories. Your writing is so, so beautiful and I can't believe your fic doesn't have more notes. Honestly, it's criminal! I'm seeing it pop up on my dash again and I just had to show you some love!! 🥰❤️❤️ Also, it's still Valentine's Day where I am, so I felt all the love was a little fitting. ❤️ I hope this novel of an ask finds you well. 😘❤️

-🦋

Oh my goodness, anon, thank you so, so much! Seriously, my heart is practically bursting right now I just wanna reach through the screen and give you biggest hug! 🥰

It means SO MUCH to me that you've loved Lucy and my fic so much 😭 I have quite a few OCs, but Lucy in particular is very near and dear to my heart, so to hear that you love her so much just makes me so happy.

I would LOVE to hear your thoughts if you do a reread! I don't like to pressure people too much to comment because I understand it can be nerve-wracking, but I promise I am literally the least intimidating person in the world and will be absolutely thrilled to hear what you think!

I did recently do a bit of a rewrite/edit, specifically of Red Right Hand. Nothing too crazy, but I did add a few more scenes with Grace and a few more smut scenes.

Grace is certainly a controversial figure in the fandom. I understand why people dislike her, and I never want to make people feel like they have to like her to read or even enjoy my fics, but at the same time I have a soft spot for her, and my vision for the series always included Grace and polyamory elements, despite it still being primarily Tommy x Lucy focused. I was quite nervous including the poly aspects of the story, and I know it turned a lot of people off to my fics, so I really appreciate your support for that particular part of the story! 🖤

And Happy Birthday! I'm so glad to hear that my fic made your day a little brighter! And Happy Valentine's Day as well! This really is the best gift anyone could have given me today!

I'm so sorry that it's been taking me longer to get updates out! I recently started an internship in January that's taking up more of my time, plus just dealing with a general lack of motivation lately. But I am hoping now that I'm more settled into my internship that I will have more time to write and will be able to get onto a more consistent posting schedule. I have SO MANY things planned for Lucy and Tommy and I hope that you enjoy them!

Again, thank you so, so much for this ask, 🦋! You've absolutely made my day! I am sending all of my love your way! 🖤🖤🖤

[at-thestillpoint]

fic writers asks: 10, 12, 27

[ask me things!]

10. Is there a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?

To some extent, all of them! I never really know how something is going to land, and it's always interesting to see what resonates with folks, because it's pretty much never what I think it will be. Mostly, I'm just consistently surprised that people like my writing? On the whole, the feedback I've gotten on all my TG:M fics has been even more enthusiastic and encouraging than I expected, which is why I haven't given it up yet! We can psychoanalyze that too.

12. Do you have a playlist for your current WIP(s)? Share it!

I don't typically have playlists, so much as the one song that inspired the fic that I then play on repeat until it fades into the background and I no longer hear the lyrics.

For the Olympics AU, it's Cruel Summer. For the Sally Jackson fic I'm chipping away at, it's Horses (because it's fitting and also I think I'm funny). I also recently started working on something else for Phoenix/Hangman because of Maggie Rogers's new single, Don't Forget Me ("take my money, wreck my Sundays" is a lance straight to my heart).

The other FWB fic is the exception to this rule. It's a short playlist, but I shared it here previously. I also used this playlist during the writing of the first FWB fic, which was fueled by Electric Touch.

(I'm really not as big of a Swiftie as this answer would imply.)

27. Is there a fic you were nervous to post/share? Why?

Most recently, I was nervous to post i dreamed you a sin and a lie. It's my first foray into Percy Jackson-land, and it's always nerve-wracking to jump into a brand new fandom, especially such a long-standing one.

Overall though, it was texas man, because that was my first time publishing smut and there's something deeply vulnerable about that.

[lailuhhh]

21. Have you ever deleted an entire scene after spending hours laboring over it? If so, why?

22. Do you know how your fic will end before you start writing?

27. Is there a fic you were nervous to post/share? Why?

21. Does it count if I throw it in the forever wip pile?? Because yeah. There’s been so many that just don’t flow properly or don’t feel right for how I’m trying to portray it. I don’t think I’ve ever truly straight up deleted anything though because I’m a hoarder I might turn it around into something I wanna use at a later point

22. Recently yeah. Been on a binge of writing the last scene, or at least close to last scene first so it’s easier to lead up to it and eventually end it

27. Baby’s first Macgyver fic of course. I mean getting into a new fandom with no real connection to any other people is always scary and nerve wracking because omg what if I misunderstood the assignment and everyone makes fun of me??

[nottheheadshaker]

I asked @coffeefordage for some nielan prompts and got several good ones. Here's a modern AU drunk (but not clingy, sorry) Lan Xichen meeting Nie Mingjue for the first time, with background wangxian. Is this a meet-cute? A meet-drunk? idk. Enjoy.

This is my first Untamed fic. Only time will tell if this is a good idea. (Also on AO3)

Nie Mingjue took a sip of his drink, wincing as his eardrums were assaulted by noise that some people (Huaisang) considered to be music. He didn’t want to be here, and he was pretty sure Huaisang didn’t really want him to be here either, despite all of his wide-eyed pleas for Mingjue to accompany him. How else could Mingjue explain his little brother’s disappearance as soon as they walked through the door of the club? If this was how Huaisang wanted to spend time with him, Mingjue could be doing it from home. His ears would certainly be happier for it.

He lifted his glass again, preparing to down the rest of his drink so he could leave.

“Hi,” a cheerful and somewhat breathless voice said from behind him.

Mingjue turned, a polite greeting-slash-brush off on his lips, only to have the breath knocked right out of him at the sight of the most beautiful man he had ever seen. He was smiling at Mingjue as if Mingjue was the source of all of the world’s joy. The stranger was tall and elegant, a delicate pink flush spreading along his perfect cheekbones. He was wearing a pale blue and white outfit that looked like it came out of one of Hauisang’s magazines. Not exactly a clubbing outfit, based on Huaisang’s strong - and often-shared - opinions about fashion. The man was stunning in it (and out of it, I bet, Mingjue’s brain whispered), so Huaisang would probably forgive the transgression.

“Oh,” the beautiful stranger said, “you’re even more handsome up close! Wait here, please.”

Before Mingjue could remember how to form words, the man disappeared back into the crowd. Mingjue looked down at his drink. He still had just about half of it left, so he probably wasn’t experiencing an alcohol-induced delusion. Mingjue was still puzzling over the encounter when the man returned.

“Hi,” he said again, his smile just as bright. He was looking expectantly at Mingjue.

Mingjue blinked. “Hi,” he managed to say. His throat felt incredibly dry. He took a large gulp of his drink.The burn of the alcohol did nothing to help his composure.

"What's your name? It wouldn't be polite for me to call you Handsome Stranger." The man's smile was so blinding, it took Mingjue a minute to understand what he'd just said.

He couldn’t let this opportunity pass. He gave the man a once-over to buy himself a little more recovery time - a mistake that only made it harder to think - then said gruffly, “I’m Nie Mingue.”

“My name is Lan Xichen, but you can call me yours.”

Mingjue downed the rest of his drink. What the fuck? The most beautiful man in the world was using a pick-up line? On him? How was he supposed to respond to that? Say something, he told himself, even if it’s stupid. “I’ll be sure to remember that.”

Impossibly, Lan Xichen’s smile got bigger. He looked over Mingjue’s shoulder and raised his hand in a thumbs-up gesture. Mingjue followed his gaze and found a pair of men watching them from a nearby table. One of them was beaming at them, returning Lan Xichen’s thumbs-up enthusiastically. The other man looked almost exactly like Lan Xichen, minus the bright smile. Was he glaring at Mingjue, or was that just his face?

“My brother and his boyfriend,” Lan Xichen said, drawing Mingjue’s attention back to him. “A-Xian has so many pick-up lines, so he gave me one for you!”

He was barely keeping up with what was happening, but he tried for an intelligent response. “That was nice of him.”

“Yes,” Lan Xichen nodded happily. “He was sad he doesn't get to use them anymore. He said I should get to have some fun with them, at least.”

A quick glance back at the other men showed one of them - the one he assumed was Lan Xichen’s brother - pulling the other up out of his seat. They wrapped their arms around each other and started swaying to music only they could hear. They certainly weren’t dancing to the music that was actually playing. Huaisang was standing nearby. He quickly fled when he noticed Mingjue looking at him. Mingjue’s eyes narrowed. What was Huaisang up to?

“Oh, Huaisang left again,” Lan Xichen said, sounding disappointed. “I have to thank him. He asked me to get him another drink, and that meant I could get a better look at you.” His eyes widened. “I forgot Huaisang’s drink!”

“I don’t think Huaisang will mind. I’m sure he’s had more than enough,” Mingjue said quickly. He had an idea what Huaisang was up to now, but he couldn’t bring himself to care this time. “How do you know him?”

“He’s A-Xian’s friend.” Lan Xichen’s brow furrowed in thought. “Or possibly a friend of a friend? I just met him last week, in this very club. It’s nice here! A bit loud though. So many people.” Lan Xichen looked around, taking in the dancing bodies that surrounded them. “Do you know Huaisang? Is he your boyfriend?” Lan Xichen’s smile dimmed, fading into a politely fake copy. Mingjue didn’t like it.

“He’s my brother.” He thought Lan Xichen might be a little drunk.

“That’s wonderful!” His true smile returning, Lan Xichen sat down on the stool next to him and leaned toward him. “Do you have a boyfriend? A girlfriend?”

“Neither.” Although if Lan Xichen was still interesting - and interested - when he was sober, Mingjue was willing to change that.

Lan Xichen pulled his phone out of his pocket. “We should exchange numbers!” He poked and swiped at the screen a few times before finally exclaiming, “Got it! Here.” He thrust the phone at Mingjue.

This probably wasn’t how things like this were supposed to go - who handed their phone to a complete stranger? - but Mingjue was done questioning anything Lan Xichen said or did tonight. He sent a text to himself and then saved his number in Lan Xichen’s contact list as ‘Nie Mingjue - Single’.

As soon as Lan Xichen took his phone back, he took a picture of himself with the same bright smile that had short-circuited Mingjue’s brain earlier. “So you don’t forget who I am,” Lan Xichen said as he tapped away on his phone. Mingjue’s own phone buzzed with a notification.

“No danger of that,” he said, but he was quick to take out his phone and save Lan Xichen’s number in his contacts.

“Now you send one to me!”

Mingjue did not like having his picture taken and he really did not like taking selfies, but he didn’t hesitate to do as Lan Xichen asked. He tried to remember everything Huaisang always insisted on explaining about taking selfies, getting a good angle and adequate lighting. He even managed a natural-looking smile.

Lan Xichen gasped softly at him, then again after he received the picture of Mingjue. “So handsome! I love your dimples!” He gazed at the picture a little longer, then tucked his phone away and hopped off the barstool. “We should dance!”

Before Mingjue could decide if his dislike of club dancing was strong enough to withstand Lan Xichen’s radiance - he was beginning to suspect he could deny this man nothing - they were interrupted.

“Xichen-ge.” It was the brother’s boyfriend, the one with the unused pick-up lines. “Lan Zhan needs to go home."

“Time to sleep.” The brother - Lan Zhan, apparently - did look sleepy, his eyes almost half-closed. He tugged at his boyfriend’s arm and tried to pull him away, swaying a bit as he did.

“Didi!” Lan Xichen swept his brother up into an enthusiastic hug.

Lan Zhan submitted to the embrace, laying his head on Lan Xichen’s shoulder and closing his eyes. “Wei Ying too,” he said.

“A-Xian!” Lan Xichen pulled his brother’s boyfriend into the hug. The boyfriend went along with it, shrugging when he caught Mingjue’s eye. He wrapped his arms around both brothers.

“Time for all good Lans to go home and go to bed,” the boyfriend - Wei Ying? A-Xian? - said.

“Do we have to go?” Was Lan Xichen… pouting?

“What about your uncle? He’ll blame me for corrupting your morals!” Wei Ying pouted right back at Lan Xichen. Nie Mingjue had to look away before he started laughing at their antics.

“No.” Lan Zhan jerked upright from his doze on Lan Xichen’s shoulder and grabbed Wei Ying’s hand. “I will protect you.”

“Very well,” Lan Xichen said, a hint of a pout still on his face. “We’ll go now. We won’t give shufu any more reason to be mad at you.” He turned the two young men around and began herding them away. Mingjue tried not to let Lan Xichen’s abrupt departure bother him. Not even a goodbye?

“The door is this way, Xichen-ge,” Wei Ying said, steering the unsteady trio in the right direction.

As they drifted past him once more, Lan Xichen noticed him and pulled them all to a halt. “Nie Mingjue!” he cried, as if seeing him again after a long period of time. That damn smile was back. “I’m sorry, I have to go. Maybe we can dance next time?” Mingjue nodded dumbly. “I’ll text you! Or you can text me! Okay?”

Mingjue nodded again. The whole evening had taken on a surreal feel and he was starting to doubt the whole thing had happened, even as it was still happening.

“I’ll remind him,” Wei Ying said, giving them a wide smile. Lan Zhan glared and stalked away, pulling Wei Ying along with him. “Bye!” Wei Ying called over his shoulder.

“Goodbye, Nie Mingjue! It was nice to meet you!” Lan Xichen reached out and touched his hand briefly, then hurried away after his two companions.

Mingjue flexed his hand. The spot where Lan Xichen had touched him tingled like they were in some sappy romance. Hauisang could never learn of this.

As if summoned by the thought, Huaisang appeared at his side.

“Wei Wuxian was right, those Lans cannot hold their liquor. I think they had less than half a glass of beer between the two of them.” Hauisang tapped his chin with his fan.

“Wei Wuxian?”

“My new bestie. He was just here - the one wearing black.” Huaisang smiled brightly. “He’s fun.”

Wei Ying - Wei Wuxian, that explained why Lan Xichen called him A-Xian - had been wearing black, while Lan Zhan wore clothing similar to his brother. “I see. We weren’t properly introduced.”

“Wei Wuxian isn’t a proper introduction sort of person, he won’t care. Now Lan Xichen.” Huaisang went back to tapping his chin. “Lan Xichen is definitely a proper introduction sort of person, wouldn’t you say?”

“Yes.” His brother was definitely up to something. “He did properly introduce himself, which is why I even know who you are talking about right now.”

“He really is a delicious looking man, isn’t he? And he’s so nice. Definitely boyfriend material.”

Mingjue didn’t answer. Was Huaisang interested in Lan Xichen? Lan Xichen had just been hitting on Mingjue. He should tell Huaisang, let him down gently before he got invested, but that still very firmly put Lan Xichen out of Mingjue’s reach. Bro code or whatever, there was no way Mingjue would hurt Huaisang like that. Maybe in a few years, after Huaisang had moved on? Who was he kidding, there was no way someone like Lan Xichen would stay single that long.

Huaisang smacked him on the arm with his fan. “Silly da-ge, for you, not me! He’s not my type.”

Since Huaisang said that about every person ever, Mingjue wasn’t sure what his brother’s type was. Did he even have a type? Would he tell Mingjue if he did? He wished Huaisang didn’t feel like he had to protect Mingjue from whatever it was he thought he was protecting him from. Who was the big brother around here?

...wait.

“For me?”

“Why do you think I sent him over here?”

Mingjue did not know how to feel about that. Grateful for the roundabout introduction? Irritated at the meddling? Overwhelming love for his sneaky little brother? “I can manage my own affairs,” he finally grumbled.

“Of course you can,” Huaisang said with a soothing pat on his shoulder. “Buy me a drink, da-ge. Lan Xichen never brought the one I asked for.”

“You’ve had enough.”

“But da-geeeee-”

Mingjue ignored his brother’s whining - he had a lot of practice at it. Even Huaisang draping himself over his back and complaining directly in his ear could not change his mind. If Huaisang really wanted a drink, he could get his own.

His phone chimed a text notification at him. Lan Xichen was already texting him.

Our Lyft driver has such a nice car!!!

The text was accompanied by a slightly out of focus picture of a smiling Lan Xichen sitting in the back seat of a vehicle, with the top of his brother's head just visible on his shoulder. Very little of the car was showing.

Mingjue didn't bother to respond, but he couldn't help the fond smile that crossed his face. If this was Lan Xichen drunk, he couldn't wait to see what he was like sober. He was about to put his phone away when Huaisang grabbed it out of his hand.

"What's this?" Huaisang opened up the text app and stared at his most recent text. "You set his contact name as 'Yours'? Da-ge!"

Mingjue took his phone back and put it in his pocket. "What? He said I could."

[ninja-knox-ur-sox-off]

hi okay i'm so sorry if this is a bother but i'm literally screaming uh oh my GOSH OKAY

SO i'm the author of this fic !! and your comment literally made my entire life i'm crying right now oh my gosh

okok i just also really want to say a big thank you!! you've been my writing inspo for ages, whenever i need a break from certain fandoms or fanfics i always find myself going back to yours?? and the way i've spent hours just reading your works because your writing style is so . SO . ACDHCISUCIHUS it's just amazing ?? like your fics are the ones i stay up all night reading because i literally cannot stop?? i went on a one-year hiatus and posting another fic since then on ao3 was terrifying,, but your comment just . AGSJCBHSC made me feel so welcomed and at ease 😭 i know it's just a comment and it shouldn't be that big of a deal but man as someone who just . AKSCS loves you and your writing like holy smokes is this the real life???? like?????

OKOK IM SORRY FOR MY OVERUSE OF WORDS IN THIS BUT THANK U ILYSM HAVE AN AWESOME DAY

I HAVE BEEN HOLDING THIS ASK GENTLY FOR THE PAST HOUR HELLO??BGSDLFKMA;WIWEMFA

LITERALLY THE OPPOSITE OF A BOTHER I'M GBSADL;FAWE

i'm |;A;/ /pos I think this is straight up the most cherished ask i've ever received in my life I'm saving it forever thanksBG;LAKWMFOAWBHEF

Posting new writing fresh off a break can be pretty nerve wracking, I'm still working on getting back in the writing groove since my break tbh gbsdkfmowe, but my guy, my guy, ur writing?? REAL GOOD, REAL GOOD STUFF 10/10. One of the first things Kai Sand did when we got on VC this morning was drop a link to your fic in as many places as he could, and after reading it MAN I CAN SEE WHY, IT'S FIRE WRITING AND CHARACTERIZATION. Even people not in the fandom in our little group read it and liked it, so that says something about the quality. You've got mad skills and I'm glad someone like you is back into writing stuff and doing what they love, even if it was a little scary to put the writing up on ao3 <3

ALSO I'M BGSLDFMA;OWFOAWEM IT MEANS SO FREAKING MUCH TO ME THAT MY COMMENT COULD HELP WITH THE NERVES A BIT, AND I'M STILL |;A;/ OVER U LIKING MY WRITING N STUFF I'M GONNA SOB GBSDFMA;WOIEAMF NOT ME CRYING ON VC OVER THIS ASK BBGSDLFKJSDFLSDF

Anyway, you're lovely, thank you so much for this ask it genuinely just made my day /gen /gen /pos /pos /pos bG;LKAWMEF;OAWEF

For anyone wondering what fic we're talking about its she was my sister before she was your lover ninjago fic HIGHLY RECOMMEND GIVING IT A READ IT'S LOVELY AND HONESTLY INSPIRING MAKES ME WANT TO START WRITING SOME STUFF FOR NINJAGO AGAIN I GOTTA BE HONEST, FR REAL GOOD STUFF

[makeste]

This is probably a different question from what you usually get so feel free to ignore it, but you seem like a reasonable and chill person. I recently published my first fic and I'm crippled with cringe every time I open AO3. Not because I think it's bad, but I just don't want to see the response to it, even if it's positive. Is it mean of me not to read the comments? I don't typically interact in fandom spaces, but I feel like I should now that I'm a content creator. I always see people being excited about comments, feedback etc. but I get too much secondhand embarrassment from them, because fandom is such a private and personal thing to me. Am I just weird?!!!

hey there! yeah this is definitely a break from the norm lol, but that's fine. just bear in mind that this is first and foremost a fandom blog and not an advice blog, and so you should probably take my opinions here with a grain of salt.

anyway, imo since this was the first fic you posted, and you presumably didn't know ahead of time how you were going to react to everything, it's fine. writing something -- and especially writing something that you care about, and that means something to you, and that you put a lot of effort into creating -- and putting it out there for the world to see is always pretty intimidating at first. it's like baring a little piece of your soul to the rest of the world. there's something very vulnerable about it no matter how hard you brace yourself, so I totally get why someone might react that way to feedback.

but that said, now that you know that you have this type of reaction to comments, I think the polite thing to do for any future works that you post is to simply turn the comments off. you can actually go back and do this for the fic you already posted too, I'm pretty sure, and it won't delete any of the comments that are already there; it will just prevent people from posting new ones (and it works whether they're logged in or not). I think this is the most courteous thing to do if you want to be considerate of your readers, and of the time and effort they might otherwise put into making a comment (which for some people can be just as nerve-wracking as posting a fic), while at the same time also being considerate of your own feelings in not wanting to read* the comments because the social aspect is causing anxiety/embarrassment right now.

*one small but important distinction here, which is that reading and responding are two very different things. I know it's good etiquette to dutifully respond to comments, but speaking as someone who only manages to reply to maybe 10% of their tumblr asks, I also know it's not always possible to respond to everyone's feedback. I do, however, read every single ask and comment that I get. I think that if all you want to do for now is read and not respond, then it's probably okay to leave the comments on, since commentators should already be aware that author responses aren't guaranteed. if, however, you're struggling with simply reading them as you said, then it's probably better to turn them off.

I also think it would be courteous to go back and add a generic note to the fic thanking everyone who left feedback, and explaining that you didn't anticipate how overwhelming it would be, so while you're grateful for the response, you've decided to turn off comments for now until you're in a better headspace to deal with them. imo you don't owe anyone more of an explanation than that. technically you don't really owe anyone any explanation at all, but since they did take the time to leave feedback, it's probably a nice gesture to make.

lastly, I know this is the epitome of all "easier said than done" pieces of advice, but if you can, I think it really helps to have a mindset of always writing for your own enjoyment first and foremost. and so if other people also happen to like what you've written, that's awesome! and if they don't like it, that's also fine, because at the end of the day you didn't write it for them; you wrote it for yourself. or, if you're mostly writing for yourself but are also looking for constructive feedback so that you can keep improving your game, you can adopt a Bruce Lee-style mindset of "accept what is useful, reject what is useless", and apply that to your feedback. if you agree with what someone said, you hold onto that and apply it to your writing in the future. and if you don't agree, then fuck whatever they said, and you just keep on doing things whichever way you like.

writing is subjective; no story, no matter how well-written, is ever going to appeal to every single person out there universally. and so at the end of the day the most important thing is that you're satisfied with it. which as I said is unfortunately much easier said than done lol. but it's still a good attitude to try and strive for I think, even if you can't get it 100%. it's helped me a lot at the very least.

anyway so that's it. hopefully something in these rambling paragraphs is at least a little helpful to you. take care, and thanks for the ask!

[livebloggingmydescentintomadness]

Hi momdad! I have a question. I’ve seen a bunch of post on your blog and others about purity culture and cancel culture and just general online bullying and it’s made me very scared to post things or interact with people in fandoms online.

I’d pretty much stopped participating in online fandoms 5-6 years ago do to physical and mental illness and I’m really wanting to write fics and draw fanart (I blame you for my current hyperfixation on The Untamed and MXTX’s books. THANK YOU SO MUCH!❤️) but I’m too scared to post anything for fear that people will get mad at me.

I loved being in fandom in the past. But with the current climate is it even worth it?

hello, dear! i completely understand why you have these worries.

ideally, i'd tell you that you have nothing to worry about whatsoever and everyone will always be nice and encouraging, but of course i can't promise that. but i can at least say that i've published four fics in the last couple years, to a relatively large audience here, and i was blown away by how supportive people were. i didn't get any hate at all.

there ARE people who just live to be mean and critical, but they're by no means the majority in fandom spaces. most people who consume fic and art are happy and excited to see new content, and most who see something that they don't like or doesn't agree with them understand that they need to just keep scrolling instead of being hateful.

it can get a bit trickier if you want to post darker, more controversial subjects in your work, such as incest, underage relationships, rape, suicide, abuse, and so on. i believe that you have every right to explore dark content in your work, whether it's to cope with your own issues or literally just because you feel like it, but that's the stuff that tends to draw the most ire from the purity/cancel culture types.

so if you want to publish any that deals with heavy/trigger-y topics (at least, ones that aren't canon-typical; everyone who reads MDZS fic expects there to be some stuff about death and necromancy), i would probably recommend that you start by building up your confidence with lighter content first. it's definitely less nerve-wracking to post stuff that almost no one could find offensive.

but if you're not into dark stuff at all, you're like, "i just want to write about lwj and wwx kissing," then i wouldn't worry too much about it, honestly. if it's a popular pairing in a well-established fandom, you're likely to get almost entirely positive feedback. probably your biggest problem might be just getting lost among the crowd, not getting picked on.

i know it's scary to think about a horde of morality police descending on your work and cruelly picking it apart, but those people are a loud minority, not the standard. most fandom content consumers are kind and supportive, and getting positive feedback on your work feels wonderful.

it really sucks when people get mad at you, believe me i know, but if we let the fear of people getting mad at us paralyze us into never taking any risks, we'll end up with a lifetime of regrets over all the things we were too scared to do and be. we have to step out and take a chance on being vulnerable in order to gain the rewards of acceptance. and to be an adult, we have to learn how to deal with someone getting mad at us without falling apart.

if you're interested, i have a drawing tag, writing tag, and ao3 tag that have advice and useful info for creating and posting fanworks. creating is good for you and good for the world, so practice, face your fear, and click 'publish'. you can do it. 👍

[cha-melodius]

2021 Fic Year in Review

This is based partly off a year-in-review post I did last year and another one that floated across my dash recently. Feel free you grab it if you want to do your own review!

AO3 Username: chamel  My Page: Link Fandoms: The Man from UNCLE (movie), Loki/MCU, The Mandalorian Total Number Of Completed Works/Word Count This Year: 16 works, 247k words Of All Time: 51 works, 653k words

Most Popular One Shot (by kudos): (Does the first work in a series count as a one-shot? What if you intended it to be a one-shot and then accidentally wrote a series around it? I counted it like that last year, but idk, lol.) This Year & All Time: What Makes A Good Man (Loki, Loki/Mobius, T, 8.5k words)

Most Popular Completed Multi-Chapter (by kudos): This Year: Another First Kiss (TMFU, Illya/Napoleon, M, 11k words) Of All Time: Do You Promise Not to Tell? (The Mandalorian, Cara/Din, E, 87.7k words)

More reflections and such below the cut!

Looking Back, Did You Write More Fic Than You Thought You Would This Year, Less, Or About What You’d Expected? Hmmm, I don’t know that I had expectations going into the year, really. I guess less, though, because I wrote less than I did in 2020 even though it FELT like I wrote a lot.

What’s Your Own Favorite Story Of The Year? Said it before, I’ll say it again (and again): Love is a Losing Game. I feel like it has the best narrative arc and is the most fully realized work of fiction I’ve ever done. I just love it so so much.

Do You Have Any Writing Goals For The New Year? Write more? 😅 Idk actually, maybe try to produce more one-shots and fics under 15k words. I do enjoy writing the long fics but sometimes I feel overwhelmed by them.

Did You Take Any Writing Risks This Year? I guess jumping into a new fandom counts. It’s always a bit nerve wracking to hit post in a new fandom, especially one in which there is a lot of content being produced (at the time, at least). But I’ve been overwhelmed by the positive response to my stories!

Story Of Mine Most Under-Appreciated By The Universe, In My Opinion Probably Enough of a Natural Disaster for Me. I don’t know why that had a lackluster performance. Also I have been surprised that You, or Your Memory hasn’t found a lot of traction.

Most Fun Story To Write The Makings of a Perfect Christmastime (writing a screwball comedy is too much fun), followed closely by Here It Goes Again (because I love time loops)

Biggest Disappointment Honestly, it’s been a bit sad that the Lokius fandom started SO strong and faded SO fast. I mean, don’t get me wrong, the people who are still active are AMAZING, and I am so so grateful for the response to the Good Man series and how engaged everyone is, but for a fandom who was in tumblr’s top ten, the hits and kudos numbers have definitely fallen off dramatically from where we started.

Biggest Surprise That said, the response to What Makes A Good Man when I published it was overwhelming in the best way, and the sheer number of people who are still into my crazy AU was unexpected by amazing. Thank you to all of you who are still reading along and letting me know your theories and yelling at me for angsty chapters. You make it all worth it!

Coming Soon/Planned

Sequel to You Must Be A Christmas Tree (Napollya)

Probation AU for my MTH winners (Lokius)

Chess Olympiad sequel to Love is a Losing Game (Napollya)

GBBO AU (Lokius)

Art thief-restorer/gallery owner AU (Napollya)

ISS AU (Napollya)

Westworld AU (Lokius)

Void time loop (Lokius

5+1 of Illya getting hot and bothered over Napoleon

Post-UNCLE reunion fic (Napollya)

[otterskin]

I didn't like the LOKI show, no matter how hard I try, and it's messing with me.

My mother died at the end of December. A lot of other bad things happened as well, like the severe brain injury of my father.

I didn't cry. There was so much to do. I did it. And even then, when there was nothing left to do, I didn't cry.

I found distractions.

Today I went to see the Green Knight after a tough week at a new job that had me leave my father in another province even though he still needs help. I was trying to get back to the life I'd dropped.

I loved the Green Knight. The Arthurian Legends are as dear to me as Norse Mythology, and my copy of them had the Green Knight on the cover. The film was truly excellent, evoking the feel of the story whole still doing something unique and very A24. I cried at one point, like I did when watching the first THOR, because of how much it meant to see something I'd loved since the very first years of my existence finally make it to the big screen and be...right. It's own thing, it's own artistic product, but right.

Then I opened a tab in a browser and saw I had some messages on a website I comment on. It was just some minor criticism of the LOKI show I'd posted beneath an article and how it handled certain things.

I was downvoted. Berated. Hated. Lumped in the ad hominem twitter users who attacked the director and writer (I'd never, ever!) Told I was biphobic because I wanted to see more of a queer lens (I even addressed how difficult it is for bi people in queer cinema and society in general in my criticisms of the romance, but even that wasn't good enough - just disliking it was 'bad'.) I was told I just wanted my 'fanfic' made (I never made any laundrylist of plot points I demanded). I was accused of being a begrudged shipper (ha! If anything I'm an anti-shipper). I was told that I should love the show, it was awesome, and I was bad for not thinking so.

And I started to cry.

I don't cry. Only at movies. Not at real life. I didn't cry at my grandparents's funerals, I didn't cry when I was left with the body of my mother in the hospital room and my brother cried on my shoulder. I didn't cry when working through my dad's severe new disabilities as I realized how much he had lost. I didn't cry while realizing how messy my parents' finances were. I didn't cry when my mother's friends called me in the middle of the night and cried into the phone. I didn't cry when saying goodbye to my dog and going back to a rundown apartment with a terrible smell so I could go to work in a dark room for hours at a time.

But now I'm crying and writing this.

I've realized why. During everything, I looked forward to the LOKI show. The first THOR is deeply nostalgic to me and I watched it often in my first year of Uni when I was away from home. It tied in thematically to what I was going for. Thor 2 came out before I went on exchange, and while I disliked it overall, talking about it was a welcome distraction from my anxieties. Thor 3 was nerve-wracking, but it also came out during my first major job which I was struggling with, and I saw it so many times in theatres...it was such a huge comfort.

Looking forward to LOKI wasn't just a distraction. It was like a promise. A promise that I'd make it till then and see it and maybe it'd give me some comfort.

That's on me. That's a personal thing. It's an unreasonable expectation.

But I needed it, all the same.

Then it came out.

I tried. I really tried to like it, to forgive it, but the problems are things I've criticized for too long in so many other things. I always try to be respectful about, I never go ad hominem and attack the creators, only critique their work and I always mentioned what I liked but...

I didn't like it.

I have no urge to rewatch it.

And the Green Knight...the Green Knight was everything I wanted and needed it to be. It didn't let me down, though I've been anticipating it about as long as the LOKI show. They're very different, obviously, but in my heart they share the same compartment.

And after a very trying day...I realized how badly I needed to rewatch a Loki show I liked. But I can't even enjoy THOR or Thor:Ragnarok anymore. It's like everything I did like has been poisoned.

This thing that got me through immense pain is causing me pain. I don't want to be toxic. I'm sure it's in me. I try so hard not to wallow in disappointment, but to not even be allowed to talk about my problems without being lumped in with abusive online monsters...

I can't do it. I just can't.

This is supposed to be an escape, not another trial.

I needed the LOKI show to be good, so I could come out of the dark into the light, or at least walk through the night with a lantern ahead of me. And instead it was just more darkness, and it's not even entirely its own fault. It's the online discourse. It's the uncalled for harassment of Herron and Waldron. It's the taunting jabs at people who didn't have a good time as if we're all jerks. It's having people roll their eyes when you point out things that made you uncomfortable in the story, it's feeling slightly gaslit when you find something gross that the story intended to be gross and then being told it's not gross, actually.

I'm sorry. I don't want to cause pain. I just...

I needed it to be good. And unlike Thor 3, which delivered me respite in a dark time...it let me down. Worse, it's hurt me.

I said I don't cry, only at the movies. Something about them lets me cry in a way nothing else does. I can't cry at a funeral, but I can cry in a movie theatre at the drop of a hat. It's a release valve, a way for me to process things.

I think I was waiting for LOKI to give me permission to cry. To give me something that could release this pain in me. And instead, it just gave me more.

I never should have given it that power. I didn't want to. But I had to, to get through this.

I'm putting away the few THOR pieces of tat I have. I feel foolish. I always knew it was a capitalist piece of art, chucked from creator to creator with no creative shepherd, which in itself was stressful.

The fandom is no sanctuary for me either, since I'm primarily interested in the family dynamics and I'm sick of 'Odin is an ABUSIVE MONSTER' stories or even unrelated fics and posts just dropping in hate for him that's not at all canon but seems to be very popular to the point where people think it is. Especially since I often read these stories when I need to think of home and my father. Or, most pleasantly of all, when I get called an abuser or abuser-enabler because I say I like Odin as a character. I also can't really bear to deal with anything to do with Sylvie, whom I had high hopes for as someone who wants more female tricksters, but instead I got this...this Mary Sue that's very hard to criticize without being yelled at. I swear I'm coming at her writing as a feminist and I don't hate anyone, I don't, I just...sigh. She's just personally frustrating to me and not being able to discuss it without being called names sucks.

Not to mention I'm asexual, and I always struggle with romance in media being pushed as the 'ultimate relationship more important than any other'. Part of the reason I liked THOR so much was that romance was not the main feature of THOR and definitely not THOR 3 (while my disliked Dark World was all about it, and so is LOKI). And when I criticize the romance, I get called a prude (guilty, I guess), a troll, or, my favourite, just 'a hater'.

I don't want to hate. Who wants that poison in their veins? I'm here because the Thor series HELPED me because I LOVED it. And now I look at the things I used to love and I...don't, anymore.

So much is asked of me right now. I can't willingly invite this painful thing to sit on my chest as well, especially since the world is already shoving it into my face without my doing anything, in ads, in news, in everything.

I suppose that's why I've leaned even more into Odin lately. He was untouched by the LOKI series (though not the Simpson special, which worries me). He's a trickster, he's queer, he's nuanced, he's 'misunderstood' (that old cliche, but he's misunderstood and misrepresented by the people always yelling about how this or that character is misunderstood, which amuses me, except when it gets to me), and he's in many ways free to make my own.

I still have some stuff I'm going to publish that's practically finished. Finnesang has a lot more written for it but needs some major sit-down time for re-writes and edits. Lokabrenna is practically done, just needs tweaks and Beta. I'll be here a little longer.

But I think I'm going to have to step back for now and put my passions into other things.

I will be back. After all, after Thor 2 came Thor 3. Maybe Love and Thunder will right the ship and Thor can still be awesome, and maybe eventually a creative I love will come to work on the franchise. Really, that's the key for me - I loved Branagh before THOR, and loved Waititi before Thor, and disliked Waldron's work (though I gave him every benefit of the doubt and hoped and prayed to be wrong - sadly, it was what I expected.)

But...if LOKI season 2 is more of this, more romantic tropes I hate and Loki being an afterthought in his own show and his family being devalued for new characters...I can't do it. I can't watch something I used to love just throw that all away for something I dislike.

My tears are finally drying. I wrote a lot of this while the screen was blurry, so I hope there's no grammar or typo too embarrasing. I'm not sure I have the strength to re-read it. Sorry for the rant. It helped me feel better.

Thank you all. I hope I feel differently someday.

[unioncolours]

A 2nd Majsasaurus Year!

Today, 22nd of September 2021, it’s been two years since I officially joined the magical world of fandom. 22.9.2019 I uploaded the first chapter to my fic Shadows and Sand, and the rest is history.

I did a deep dive into my first year as a fic writer and active member of fandom last year, when it was my first anniversary. You can read it here!

In that meta discussion about my membership of fandom, I presented it as if walking on clouds. I was so, so happy and talked during all the discussion about my happiness in fandom.

Since that post was written, my life and also my perception of the fandom I am part of has changed. Change isn’t always bad, as I really had a honeymoon phase with fandom over a year ago, and the low after hit hard.

But let’s see what I’ve been up to and what I’ve been writing! The following year provided much change and fun things! Please keep reading 💜⬇

The first fic I wrote since 22.9.2020 was a Sakura x Ino fic. I had for a longer while been interested in writing a woman-loves-woman ship, which I had never done before, and as a wlw-person myself the urge to explore that part led to Promise me this is just a kiss. The pairing itself was chosen on rather random, it had to be two women and I like Ino, so I chose the most popular Ino-wlw ship for this for convenience.

I really liked writing the fic and it was well-received! It was the first time I had written a fic that was entirely centred around exploring feelings and having sex.

After this I jumped directly onto the next idea that had been boiling inside me for a longer while. Up to this point, all I had written, except the wlw-fic, had been set in the Naruto canonverse and I was itching to try to work with a multi-chaptered modern au! The pairing was of course my beloved Shikadai x Inojin.

It was during the creation of this fic I began to struggle. This was a new genre, as this was romance only and all my other works had been action and fantasy based, except the sex fic of course. I was maybe over critical and stressed, which resulted in me having a hard time writing it. But I made it. Was the sky always this beautiful? ended up being 35k long, and in hindsight, I freaking love, love, love how it turned out in the end and what it represented. I am very proud of this fic.

I “upgraded” as a fan by the end of October when I bought myself a digital drawing tablet. I began drawing fanart of Shikadai and Inojin and preferably them two together, haha! I still draw a few days a month and find it extremely fun as a side hobby beside the writing.

We are now in November 2020. By this time, I had completely finished my zine fic, Under the Scorching Sun, which I had written during September and October, for the Shikatema zine I was kindly accepted to. I was proud of what I had created and was eager for the rest of the contributors to wrap up theirs, so we’d have a wonderful zine for sale in 2021. It was lovely to write ShikaTema again. As the zine fic was about to be released in months from when I had at first finished it, I wanted of course to write something fans and friends could immediately take part of on the internet. I had hyped myself up to a state where I wanted to write a third and final story in my series To love and never let go, my epic series about Shikadai and Inojin.

Now, I should maybe have waited another month, but I was worried the readers would give up on me if I didn’t write it right away. In December, I began writing To find hope in the Universe, with my usual speed and love for the art.

What I by then didn’t realise or even recognise was that I was very slowly turning burned out. I ignored all the signs.

In December I wrote simultaneously as Hope in the Universe a fic that was part of the Shikatema server’s Secret Santa event. The fic’s name was The Ghost Stories of our Hearts, and it was ShikaTema, as the event’s name suggests. It was fun to write and despite the final big fic, Hope in the Universe, pressing down on me, I finished The Ghost Stories of our Hearts and was very happy with the result. Sadly, at this point the burnout began taking control over me, and I never managed to reply to the comments.

The 15th of January, I began uploading To find hope in the Universe. It was a lovely experience, even if it was tainted by negative feelings coming from my decreasing happiness and the fact that it didn’t do as well as To dance above the Stars, the second fic in the series. To deal with two very contradiction emotions, loving my work, the characters, how I have painted an entire world around the characters and how I knew some people honestly loved my hard work, and then the negative feelings coming from not feeling good enough and depressed, was a difficult thing to navigate and still is when I think back to that time. It didn’t help that during the process of uploading the fic I went through grief, and I chose distraction as my coping method. I kept writing and working, the only thing I ever knew.

Our pre-order of the Shikatema zine was in full motion by this time and it was a nerve-wracking time! Mostly because of excitement but also worry. I’m super happy for my friends who were part of the zine, with whom I could share all the excitement and nervousness with. The zine ended up making good sales, which made me happy among the uploading of the long fic.

To find hope in the Universe was completed 31st of March 2021. When I uploaded the final chapter, I felt nothing. It was so weird, so spooky, to have finished a long fic and a series on top of that and not feel anything. But deep down, beneath the layer of depression, I felt great pride.

That was the emotion that broke free once the burnout left me. Pride.

I had created this empire of Shikajin, a whole alternative timeline, an alternative canon from my own head and to this day, that is my internet legacy. I love Trial of the Heart, which I wrote in 2020, but if I have to choose between ToH and this series, I will choose To love and never let go in a heartbeat.

So, even if it felt depressing and hopeless in the moment, I look now back with pride and happiness. Never forget that. Never forget that I made that.

April was a curious time. I swore to not write anything, because I had by now recognised that I was burned out and needed to rest, yet managed to scrape together three smaller fics.

The first one was another wlw-smut fic, TemaSaku this time called Another Light. I wanted to explore that part once again. I wrote it in canonverse and honestly think the fic ended up extremely nice. Perfect amount of feels and sex. It didn’t feel hard to write at all, because the setting, characters and emotions were so different from the fics I had written the last five months.

Now more interesting things lay on the horizon! A new zine, the Ino-Shika-Cho zine called Beyond a Bond had an interest check during the spring, and later the contributor application. I urged in the interest check to please give us the next gen kids, Shikadai, Inojin and Chocho – my kids and babies, and when it turned out they were going to feature, I had to apply as a writer. For this application I wrote a one shot, called It’s just hair, and I loved this spunky little story featuring the best babies that I created.

I also edited one of my tumblr fics, And then I kissed him, into a longer, better version that I later in May uploaded onto AO3. It was once again a Shikajin, a sequel of Trial of the Heart, and it was a fun little project.

Now May came and I sent in the application for the zine early, which I now am relieved I did. I am happy that I did the work for the application in April instead of May, because in May I had a few breakdowns and another grieving period, which lead to complete creative paralysis. I didn’t write a single word during May, only uploaded the two one shots I had prepared in April.

What I did do in May was to read through the Shikatema zine I had contributed to! It arrived in the mail! I was so nervous; my whole body was shaking when I opened the package right outside the post office. The zine now resides on the parade place in my little zine shrine in the bookshelf. Thank you to the mods who made this a reality!

To my great happiness my zine adventures continued as I was accepted to the Ino-Shika-Cho zine as a writer and was assigned to write my favourite characters. I felt so relieved and overjoyed, mind blown by the sheer talent among the contributors.

On the other fandom front, June didn’t continue any brighter, with stress and mental pain still having a strong grip around me, despite the very happy news that I am still so grateful for. I wrote a Yamanaka family fic which to this day hasn’t seen the light of AO3, because of negative emotions surrounding it. I turned into a complete wreck compared to me in June 2020. In June 2020 I was flourishing, I loved what I did, I loved fandom and I loved the friends I had made through Discord servers. Now I could find myself crying my eyes out over a wip not going the way I wished it would. What had happened to Bex 2021?

I was so incredibly frustrated with myself, groaning in defeat when my hands just couldn’t write. I managed to push through 6k of what I called my “emo au” – more of that later – and finish the Yamanaka fic which is still buried, and on top of that I had the zine and another fandom event, The Naruto Photo Album, to create content for. Why couldn’t I do it? Why couldn’t I find happiness in something that once was my reason for happiness?

In the end, I managed to write 15k in June. My former monthly word count used to be 30k. One could think this would turn into the end of my fic writing career, or the beginning of a longer hiatus, but I am stubborn and want to meet the expectations of the people who love my content, so I didn’t want to give up. I wanted to try. I wanted to be whoever I was before.

Funnily enough, the healing came in the shape of the most self-indulgent fic I have ever, ever written, a fic I like possessed began writing July the 1st 2021. It was nothing less than a freaking fairy tale AU, namely a Shikadai x Inojin Peter Pan AU. I can hear you laugh at the silliness of it, but this whimsical AU gave me back my love for writing. I hyper-fixated on this story quite a bit and stopped writing on everything else, something I almost never do.

Only happy boys fly ended up being 21 000 words long! I knew it was a niched story, and true to my guesses, the story has to this day very low stats. Today, two months after it was published, it has just above 100 hits and 10 kudos, so for all I know, only ten people read and liked it. I try to not care too much, since I love the story and in some way, that story saved me from going batshit insane over my emotions about writing.

At this point I had begun writing my fic from the Ino-Shika-Cho zine, finding joy in silly scenes with my favourite characters and trying to heal. The writing process was frustratingly slow, but one word at a time I got forward and as of today, the draft is done. The pre-orders are in December. At the side of the zine fic I wrote a short fluffy Shikajin story, CLEAR, a story with almost no plot, because I knew how much self-indulgence could help me.

And then, I finally began writing for real on my emo au, A gang of fallen stars, which has the first few chapters up right now! I have for the first time in six months a longer fic (if we don’t count the Peter Pan story) and it feels… good. This fic is once again a modern au, but in darker tones than my other modern au from November 2020. I honestly like what I have so far, even if I during June and July almost planned to never finish it. I am so relieved I managed to begin the upload. In September the Photo Album was released and I could show my two fics I wrote for it.

It sounds like this year has been nothing but misery, and at times it felt like it. However, there are a few fandom friends who brought light to my life when I couldn’t see it. The first ones to mention are of course my partners in crime, @notquitejiraiya and @thespookymoth. Together we created a server dedicated to Ino-Shika-Cho during the spring and it has been tons of fun with the members there! Thank you two for listening to me and for being my friends during 2021.

I also have to mention Soverel, who carefully begun taking contact through comments and likes on my twitter, and later through direct messages, and it has been a fun ride ever since. We’ve had lovely discussions which are very dear to me and your support means a lot to me. Thank you for being you and for drawing so many wonderful artworks you’ve shared with me. Haha, and for making me play Genshin Impact, even though I do it like twice a month!

Another person who has made my days so much brighter is @sugarriene. Thank you for sending me that one dm that made us chat regularly, thank you for popping up and sharing panels and your wonderful drawings with me, and for vibing head canons with me. You are a lovely person, and you make me happy.

Finally, I want to give a shout out to @yoboseyokyu for listening to me when I had to yell into the void and for making me happy with your cute posts on both twitter and tumblr.

Since September 2020, I’ve written around 195 000 words and drawn close to 35 illustrations, most of them of Shikadai and Inojin. Almost 200 000 words of Majsasaurus. I’ve created a Discord server and I’ve been part of two zines as a writer, plus a free PDF-project.

It has been a wild year. A year filled with passion for my favourite characters and ship, with the excitement that came with being part of projects and hyping them. It was a year where I learned to draw digitally, and heck what fun it was.

This also a year where I learned people can be mean to me because of what I ship and that fandom friends won’t necessarily always stay to be your friend anymore and how much it can hurt. I also learned what my limits are, and what punishment I get if I don’t listen to my own mind and rest when I have to.

It was a year, guys.

Now, onto the third Majsasaurus Year. Cheers!

And those of you, who supported me when I needed it – thank you and I love you.

[isabellehemlock]

So, today is the one year anniversary of me posting to AO3 and in that time, I've written a lot . . . whoops

Pic image source from this article

I've actually spent a chunk of time reflecting on this anniversary and just how much time and energy I've invested in these stories, the trends I've noticed for myself, as well as how therapeutic it's been for me. You can read about that here if you'd like 😊

And really at the end of the day it comes down to me wanting to write, and being oh so grateful for the kind reception and support I've received over the last year. I felt the love and wanted to give back, and was very grateful for the opportunity to celebrate the readers by asking for prompts to write (which you can find here).

But like the header says, this isn't just a thank you post but one of encouragement as well. So, what would I say to someone who's a bit intimidated to post? . . . Well, first - I get it.

It is scary.

It is nerve wracking.

Sure sometimes you're just writing funny, crack stories, hoping it makes someone smile that day. But sometimes you're writing reflections about yourselves (that whole "write what you know" thing).

And here's what I've said to others before: write it anyway.

Here's a few basic tips that might work for you (and if not, that's alright, everyone works differently and at the end of the day, I hope this post encourages someone to dive into fic writing anyway):

Do research. Be humble and acknowledge you're not always right. If you're writing about identities that are not your own (religious, sexual, race, nationalities, etc), do some research first. It's not an academic paper, so how much is up to each author, and sometimes two books about a subject can have very different takes - but don't be afraid to ask questions about subjects you aren't familiar with.

Realize some tags are subjective. Like, really subjective. Do your best to tag what you think is important to, and keep in mind two people can read the same thing and form different - but no less valid - opinions about it. If you're ever worried about a subject matter, reach out to a sensitivity reader who can give you objective feedback.

Remember your why. Evaluate why you want to write: an issue that's important to you? For a friend? Writing therapy? To write something you would have loved to have read growing up, or going through a hard season in life? Depending on the why, can help with the lows of writing - writing blocks, long days, fatigue, a negative comment/feedback.

Because at the end of the day, I can guarantee someone out there will like it. Someone will leave a kudos or a comment because something resonated with them.

But also don't let those stats be your sole measure of 'sucess'. Fic writing is a hobby that is supposed to add to your life, not be something that drains you.

And lastly, practice! Play with words! Look up writing sheets (like commonly used words, but replacements for a nice variety). If you're stuck on what to write, search for prompts. You'll only get better the more you practice 😘

Finally, here's a writing meme that lays it out for all of us haha:

I unfortunately do not know where I first found this pic online so if you know feel free to point it out so I can credit, please and thank you 🙏🏻💕

I hope that whether you're a new writer, or fandom old, this tough pandemic has still allowed you to find some joy in writing. And whenever you're comfortable, I hope you'll share it with us ❤

[eemolu]

2020 Creator Wrap: Favourite Works

Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 5 (ish) favourite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

i wasn’t tagged in this but i’m trying this thing where i support and love myself? and this feels like a good way to start???? idk don’t ask anyWAYS

1-3 are all from my jiliad, but let us first do since that’s where i put the most energy and hit the most milestones so i’ll be giving myself 3 chapters of that as my faves

1. chapter 15: this was the first chapter where i really leaned into the L&J fluff and really started moving the plot forward- it’s also the one where i hit 100,000 WORDS??? still can’t believe that & am forever freaked out about it

2. chapter 16: a big one for me because it featured the L&J sex talk that was so important yet so nerve wracking for me to put in. i so often see fics move right from the love confession into a sex scene, which is perfectly fine if that’s what the author wants. but i was thinking about how when i started this fic i was 17 yrs old, and so i wanted to show a couple talking seriously and awkwardly about consent and readiness and being open and honest about previous sexual partners. i worked really hard and i’m proud of what we got out of it. also there’s some sweet valentine’s wolfstar moments that i like too <3

3. chapter 19: it’s the latest one so it’s also very near and dear to my heart. i got to write to the tune of garden song which i am convinced led to the wolfstar moment that made it into the chapter. which i am also very proud of! it was a big moment for me to write and it’s not perfect which is why i’m so very proud of it, because it made me feel things regardless of its technical merits so that’s all that matters

4. something about this kid (irondad oneshot): 

this fic... it was a birthday present for my dearest rachel (@writethroughthenight) and it took me SO LONG because it fully got away from me but i’ve always loved spiderman and i’ve also always had beef with marvel so i’m super psyched with how it came out. i forced one of my irl friends (alias brenda) to comment and she went above and beyond the string of emojis i expected to leave me seriously one of the nicest comments so that also gave this fic a special place in my heart

5. jukebox heroes ;) (julie & the phantoms oneshot):

i haven’t written for a super active fandom since i stopped writing for the 100 and i forgot how lovely and welcoming they can be. i had such a great experience writing my first jatp fic that i stayed up all night writing this one (and its a texting au which... i love to write SO much). the fandom didn’t disappoint, and so not only am i proud of the fic but i’m also happy that i got to engage with and meet so many new creators:) plus i made some good jokes so read for a good time

that’s it that’s five. i’m just gonna tag anyone who’s like me and doesn’t have someone to tag them in this- if you created anything at all in the past year or even if you haven’t, you deserve to celebrate yourself (i also rly want @datingdonovan to do this with their text posts dont b a coward) 

love u bye

[shadowofthelamp]

Fandom Trades: Tips and Tricks

I’ve been running a secret santa for five years now, and a few people expressed interest in a sort of ‘guide’. It does take some elbow grease to get things up and running, but it’s very rewarding and gets easier as you go. Click the ‘read more’ for some stuff I’ve picked up over the years! It’s a bit general to try and cover anything, but if you have any questions, you can ask! (And if you’ve run one yourself, feel free to add on!)

FAQ: Something that’s a really good idea to have. Here’s the most important stuff on it that would probably be applicable to most trades:

-Basic summary of what the trade will be- some could be fic-only or art-only, or even specific-ship-only. Mine’s general to ‘all sonic sfw content’, but setting guidelines so people know what they’re getting into is a good idea so you won’t have to answer the same question over and over.

-Deadlines. Make them clear. Mine’s easy (Christmas Eve) but depending on what size the gift is expected to be, the time frame can be adjusted. 

-Related, set up rules for if people need to drop out. It happens, so be prepared. (This is why I ask now if people are alright giving a second gift.)

-Any particular rules for your trade- is it sfw or is nsfw acceptable? (In that case, set age limits.) Are there ships that will or won’t be allowed? Is there a punishment for violating the rules or turning things in late, like not being allowed to participate in the trade again?

PROMOTION:

A promo image is a good idea! I’ve been using the same one for a few years that was put together by a friend no longer on tumblr, but images catch people’s eyes faster than a text dump. Make something that’s easy to understand but gets the point across, and the text below should have enough information without overwhelming the casual scroller. 

Space paragraphs often to make it less intimidating. Include links to the FAQ, the sample entry, and the submit box right in the post, as well as a way to contact you- you want things to be as easy as possible for anyone interested. Here’s my promo post.

You also want to start promotion early- I start posting and reblogging my promo a full month before the entry deadline, to give as many people the chance to see it as possible. Any earlier, and they might not care- (who wants to see a Christmas trade post in October when you’re hyped for Halloween?) and any later and you might not get as many participants as you could have. A month-ish is a good time frame. (I also have a tag for the promo post, so people can blacklist it if they aren’t interested and don’t want to see it 15 times.)

SAMPLE ENTRIES:

Also something that’s good to have. Having a template for what you want entries to look like will make sorting easier for you. Here’s mine. It’s a good idea to scout around for other trades to find out what would work for you.

MAKING ASSIGNMENTS:

Next, setting up how to arrange who gets assigned to who. I personally use google spreadsheets. These are the categories I use, feel free to steal them: Username, medium (art, writing, amvs, ect), whether they’ll work with fan characters, what they’d like to receive, what they won’t do (one year I even added ‘if there’s anyone you won’t work with’ so if it’s a fandom with drama, that one might be good), who they’re gifting to, who they’re receiving from, if they’ve submitted their piece yet, if their piece is in the queue, and if they’re alright with doing backup.

I also had a category for if they’ve confirmed they’re still in once assignments were sent out. (Boy, was that one nerve-wracking during the whole tumblr purge debacle of last year- I didn’t know if anybody had just quit tumblr mid-month.)

You will run into people who only want two or three things nobody else wrote on their sheet. If you can’t find even one match, then just put them with someone who had a wide variety on theirs, or who doesn’t have anything on their ‘won’t do’ list. Trying to match with multiple likes is a better bet, though, so encouraging longer lists of what people want makes things easier for you in the long run!

I personally just went in a line- I picked one person, found who they would give a gift to, and then found who THAT person would give a gift to. Rinse and repeat down the list, and it’ll end with everyone paired. I ended up making a closed loop and then sorting the last 8 or so, which was fine. An easy way to check that you didn’t double-classify anyone is control-f and searching names. If their name pops up 3 times, you did it right.

SENDING OUT ASSIGNMENTS:

Just copy-pasting the part of the entry that includes the person’s name and their likes makes this way easier for you over trying to type them out individually. Ask for confirmation that people got their assignments so you don’t have to worry if they missed it.

HOW TO KEEP THINGS ORGANIZED:

My system is this: I’ve mentioned it before, but I utilize a combination of my spreadsheet and the queue function. Let’s say Sally’s making a gift for Jake, Jake’s making a gift for Taylor, and Taylor’s making a gift for Sally. Sally submits her piece of art for Jake. I mark that off on the sheet, so when Taylor submits the gift for Sally, that gift will go in the queue to be posted whenever the deadline is up because she turned hers in already.

This keeps people motivated to complete their parts of the trade, since they won’t get their gifts until they do. If someone drops out, tell the person making the gift for them- if you’re lucky, they can rework what they have for the person that the drop-out was supposed to make something for, but if not, bring in someone who didn’t mind making a second gift. Person making the gift for the dropout can choose if they want to continue making it or not- if it’s mostly done and not a fan-character, they can just post it on their own blog unrelated to the trade. 

It’s also a good idea to have a ‘hub’ where things are posted. If it’s a fic trade, ao3 has a function specifically for this, but I’ve found having things submitted directly to you makes it a million times easier to keep track of who’s finished their pieces, as well as keeping things ‘secret’ until the big day. (People have gotten confused or excited and posted early before.)

If people want to post elsewhere after it’s posted on the main hub, set your own rules- I say it’s fine as long as it links back to the blog and links the giftee, particularly if it involves fancharacters. You make your own judgement.  

BE PATIENT:

This is one that’s very important. Some people don’t check the FAQ, and some people are going to be new, asking questions that you swear you’ve answered before or thought would be obvious. They generally just want to know, so take a deep breath. They don’t know they’re the fifth person to ask that question. Answer politely, or steer them towards the FAQ. (Running the same event year after year, you run into this a lot- they’re just new, be nice!)

Don’t start an event that you expect to have plenty of people participating if you aren’t prepared to hear the same questions a couple of times. Things might get a little annoying- take a step back for a few minutes, cool off, but try to remain professional. You signed up for this. For me, it’s always worth it to see how happy people are about their gifts, but know yourself and your limits- running a themed week where people post art at their own pace is less hassle, so you could try that if you don’t feel up to organizing a full trade! 

If you can have a friend to bounce things off of, that can help too, but don’t use them as just a dumping ground. Tumblr allows multiple ‘mods’ on a blogs, so splitting work can make things easier, particularly if it’s your first run doing something like this. I had a friend who helped me the first few years before leaving tumblr. Be sure you trust the person, though! They’ll be able to edit posts and delete submissions, so if any drama happens, beware. (This never happened to me, but it doesn’t hurt to be careful.)

TAGGING:

Add tags to the submission box. I don’t know why this took me four years to think of, but it saved me a lot of time last year. If it’s a trade that covers an entire fandom and dozens of ships, you can add the shipping tags as they come in, but adding the ten or so most popular character tags helps a lot. If it’s going to involve potentially triggering content, common trigger tags are a good idea too. (A Halloween trade might need this, for example, or one that involves nsfw content.)

PEOPLE TURNING THINGS IN LAST MINUTE:

It’s going to happen. I think one year I was panicking on the 23rd because I only had half the gifts, and all but one had been turned in by the time I went to bed on the 24th. People procrastinate- if you get in most of the gifts ahead of time, you can thank your lucky stars. Try not to stress over it, but feel free to post reminders in the week before/days leading up to the deadline. My family travels around the holidays a lot, and I managed to get everything queued up properly through airport and hotel wifi more than one year, so you’ll be just fine if you try and stay calm.

OTHER/GENERAL:

It’s absolutely worth it, in my opinion- I’ve been doing this for years for a reason. My favorite thing is knowing I’ve done something that made others happy. Going through all the excited responses Christmas morning is equal or above getting presents from my family, because I know it’s on some level because of me facilitating the trade in the first place. I hear over and over this is something people look forward to, and it genuinely warms my heart. 

It might take a few years to get established, but if you find a niche (there was a blog called sonic secret santa, but it hadn’t been updated in years) you might be surprised how fast you can gather people! I like seeing people show up year after year, it’s how I know I’m doing something right.

It is definitely work, and there is stress involved, (especially if people drop out or don’t send in their gifts on time) but the benefits outweigh the negatives, I say. People are generally understanding if there’s a problem, as long as you make it known you’re working on it.

You have to commit to the responsibility if you do this- people who are making gifts are putting their trust in you that you’ll keep things organized and they’ll get something for the gift they’re giving. You can’t guarantee everything will run exactly as planned, but you can be as transparent as possible when you hit a bump- ‘I’m sorry, but your person said they’ll be late because they were having internet problems/personal life issues and is doing their best’ is going to get a lot better of a response than radio silence. Be sympathetic, but be firm on the rules if need be.

I hope this helped a bit, and thanks for reading!

[charmingpplincardigans]

Writer Tag Game

Tagged by @sullymygoodname! 

Author Name: momebie

Fandoms you write for: Many. My most current fandoms are The Umbrella Academy and Good Omens, but I wrote a metric ton of The Raven Cycle fic and that will probably happen again come November. 

Where You Post: momebie @ AO3

Most Popular Oneshot: Hello, I haven’t checked the numbers on any of my The Raven Cycle fic in a couple years, but apparently This Isn’t A Heist (aka, the one where Ronan and Adam are fake dating to annoy Declan and then real dating obvs) has 1,900 more kudos than the next runner up. So I am astounded to say it’s that one. 

Most popular multi chapter story: Without Having to Say, a The Raven Cycle Ronan/Adam college AU where Adam is a sculptor and Ronan agrees to model for a sculpture of Satan. I’m actually really fond of this one because I love both Adam’s sculptural style (I modeled his work after Claire Morgan’s) and some of my descriptions. As is typical for my TRC fic Adam is trying very hard to be understood and going about it in a difficult way. I love him.

Favourite story you wrote: I think it’s the weird TRC/BoysGirls fusion I wrote called Not a Dreamer, The Dream. Ronan/Adam, Blue/Gansey. They’re all myths and archetypes living in a strange and (I hope) beautiful world where love comes with magic and from it. I was trying to work in Katie Farris’s style, because I think it’s startling and achy and lovely and I’d love to write that way on my own. I wrote it for a friend who still hasn’t read it. I live in hope that one day she actually might. 

Story you were nervous to post: I was really nervous to post Oddities Observed, Vietnam 1968 (The Umbrella Academy, Klaus/Dave) for several reasons. The first was that the Vietnam War was a very real tragedy that still affects lots of people, most importantly the people who live there. And I know it’s a common trope in American cinema and pop culture now that always signals back to things that have very little to do with the people whose homes and land were being ravaged. I didn’t want to make light of that or hurt anyone by writing this dumb fic, which is why I shied away from showing actual combat and let it live in the stolen moments. The second was that it was my first TUA fic and posting in a new fandom is always nerve wracking. The third was that we don’t know anything about Dave! I had to make it all up and what if people hated the way I wrote him!? Luckily, if anyone did they didn’t tell me. 

How do you pick your titles: Usually it’s a lyric from a song I glom on to while I’m writing it. (What’s Done in the Dark was almost called With the Stars Pressing Down From Above OR It Matters But Little Babe before I settled on the Johnny Cash lyric, so you know, it’s mercurial until I post it.) Sometimes it’s a call back to a line I particularly enjoyed writing or another piece of art. 

Do you outline: I have started outlining in the last year or so, especially with the longer ones, but that’s because I’ve started outlining my original work more as well so that’s just becoming the Way I Work. Anything less than 6k or so is probably still just a brain dump, though. 

How many of your stories are complete? Everything posted is complete. Well, I still meant to add a fourth story to the collection of The Raven Cycle mermaid AU stories, but the stories posted are complete in and of themselves. 

In progress: I want to finish writing this follow up to What’s Done in the Dark that’s about that week Crowley and Aziraphale spend in bed together that I glossed over in that one. (Er, no actual human sex though, it’s mainly about Aziraphale and control and what happens when he can see the effect he has on things immediately. He’s used to the long game, you know? Manipulating the love in the world is all well and good until your adversary/best friend/most beloved becomes a glow worm.) I also want to finish this pre-series Klaus & Ben Best Brothers fic I started ages ago. I should do that before season 2 drops, huh?

Coming soon: The only thing getting to anyone soon is this poem I’m late on for the anthology. (So not soon enough, clearly.) Then I have artwork, and chapbooks to compile, and editorial work that I owe others. Then maybe I can think about just dicking around with fic again.

Do you accept prompts: Yes! Feel free to leave me a prompt about whatever whenever. Just know that the odds of it being written are literally 50/50 depending on my mood and what’s happening in my life at the time and that there’s a long list of prompts just chilling in my inbox going back LITERAL YEARS that haven’t been answered. But hey, maybe like Lisa you just know how to make me do what you want? Won’t know until you try! 

Upcoming story you’re excited about: I JUST WANT THE WORLD TO BE QUIET SO I CAN BE LEFT ALONE TO WRITE THIS, MY SECOND STORY ABOUT HOW BEAUTIFUL CROWLEY IS WHEN AZIRAPHALE’S LOVE TOUCHES HIM. JUST LET ME PINE AND ACHE WITH THESE CELESTIAL DUMMIES WHOM I LOVE. THANKS. 

Oh, and also this prompt @z-bot gave me requesting Crowley and Aziraphale in my original cyberpunk universe (AMLD). I am thinking gleefully about that every moment I can. 

I tag: @fourteenacross, @melayneseahawk, @farahandthemachine, @interropunct, and @anachronistique, and also anyone else who wants to talk about your fic! Tag me! I want to know! 

[acrazyobsession]

Author Interview

Tagged by: @viikirks

Name: Leah (but acrazyobsession everywhere that matters)

Fandoms: Currently, I only have stories up for Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries. But I have also been into Stargate SG-1 and Sanctuary. Maybe I will post the stories I wrote 10 years ago for Sanctuary at some point. They need a lot of work.

Where you post: AO3

Most popular one-shot: This would be “Memories in Your Head” which was my first story (posted 9 days ago). This is a missing scene fic for “Death at Victoria Dock”. Since the first time I saw this episode, I wanted to know more about Phryne’s history and what was going though her head at the dock. So, when I decided to write a story, I knew it had to be about this.

Most popular multi-chapter story: I have only written one story that has more than one chapter, and that is “The Light In Her Eyes.” The first chapter is about Phryne’s relationship with René DuBois, based on scenes from “Murder in Montparnasse.” The second chapter was kind of a ‘bonus chapter’ to look into her thoughts about Jack and the kiss.

Favorite story you wrote: I have only posted two stories, and though I do like both of those, I have one that is written but not yet posted called “Help Me Say Goodbye”. It is for a whumptober prompt later this month, so I haven’t posted it yet. I would say that it is my favorite so far. It really developed from a missing scene piece for “King Memses’ Curse” into this really sad cool story IMO.

Story you were nervous to post: Definitely the first one: “Memories in Your Head.” Though it’s always a little nerve-wracking to post anything.

How you choose your titles: I am very inspired by song lyrics and quotes. So far, all of my stories’ titles come from song lyrics that inspired that particular story.

Do you outline: Haha. I don’t usually think to do an outline until I am stuck. I wish I thought to do it from the beginning, but even in school I was horrible about writing outlines for papers. I just sort of wing it by freewriting all my thoughts. Then I see what kind of pattern I see. 

Complete: 2 stories and 2 MFMM episode analyses. 

In-progress: I don’t have any multi-chapters in progress. It makes me nervous to do those, because I tend to get bored with ideas. I wouldn’t want to start posting a story and then never finish it. 

Coming soon/not yet started:

"Help Me Say Goodbye” is the one that will be posted later this month. It focuses on Phryne (obviously). She realizes that she never really grieved Janey’s death and it takes place after “King Memses’ Curse”.

I am currently working on another one that I would like to get posted for Whumptober. This one takes place in season 3, which is a real jump from all the season 1 stories I have been working on.

I have at least four other ideas that I can think of right off the top of my head. There are just so many fics to write and only so much time.

Do you accept prompts: I haven’t ever taken someone else’s prompt and written something. I have been sticking to my own ideas since this creative writing thing is pretty new to me. But if it speaks to me....why not!? 

Upcoming story you are most excited to write: The one set in season 3 mentioned above. I feel it might be my whumpiest, but I am not really sure how it will all play out yet. But I am very inspired by @viikirks and @aurora-australis-tumbles and how well they do whump and angst.