#why is he so mean I'm fucking trying my best

[disgustingtwitches]

@rememberwren's Sperm donor!Johnny and Husband!Ghost has been stuck in my head for far too long. So here's a quick unedited little thing I wrote for it!

You forgot exactly what you were nervous about. Then again, you usually forget everything when your husband is between your legs.

“Gotta warm you up properly.”

He said earlier to Johnny and you, his large hand rubbing your thigh just a touch too high and making your face hot. 

You're not sure how much “warming up” you needed; he's been at it for God knows how long, and you're dizzy and pretty sure you can't feel your toes anymore. He can be so mean sometimes when he's like this, biting your thighs when you try to push his head away, smiling at how you whimper.

“You know, I'm starting to think you like it when I do that.”

As overstimulated as you are, you whine when he pulls away. You swear you can see the hearts in his eyes when he looks down at you. Gets you right in the heart. 

When he rolls out of bed and walks to the door you suddenly remember why your stomach was in knots earlier; you're about to sleep with his subordinate. No, that's not the right word. Brother in arms? Best friend? Their relationship always seemed more complex than words could describe. There's a soft knock on the door and you look up to see your husband walk in with Johnny in tow. 

Johnny's knees nearly give in at the sight of your body tangled up in the sheets, breathing hard, and skin glistening.

“Prettiest thing I've ever seen.” 

He smiles while unbuckling his pants. Simon hums in agreement and sits next to you, running his fingers up your arm and neck to caress your face. The look in his eyes could melt you right then and there, grounding and reassuring. Everything is going to be alright; it always has been and always will be.

Your eyes shoot back to Johnny, who's crawling over you slowly. You bite back a groan when Simon coos a good girl as you open your legs more, inviting Johnny to settle between them. The difference between your husband's face and the man hovering over you is night and day; Simon all soft and enamored, Johnny all fervid and lustful. 

“Ye ready?” 

Johnny's voice is almost as shaky as his hands, not nervous but almost deliriously aroused. You never had wandering eyes; it seems like it's wrong to even look at him now, but you don't want this to feel unnatural; you want to enjoy this. So you scan his body, toned chest falling and rising fast, strong arms caging you in, blue eyes so intense you have to look away.

“Uh-huh.”

You reply quietly, bucking your hips against his, your most sensitive parts rubbing against his. The gasp you share makes you both chuckle, easing the tension. You run your hands up his arms and wrap them around his neck. When you pull him closer, he follows eagerly, burying his face against the crook of your neck, stubble tickling you. 

“Dinnae have to do this if you don't want to, hen.” 

“No, I want to.” 

Your voice, smaller than you want it to be, makes Johnny's eyes soften. You look over to Simon, he cocks his head to the side, raising an eyebrow slightly, checking in. You just nod and he nods back. You keep your eyes on Simon while addressing Johnny,

“Ready.”

There's a pause, a shift, and then. You groan and roll your eyes back when he slides in, still facing Simon who blinks fast. Johnny breathes like the air was knocked out of him,

“Jesus…fuck…”

He curses to himself, face still buried at your neck, slowly moving his hips forward until his pelvis meets yours. You whine as he nips your neck and yelp when he punches his hips forward from the sounds you make. Your husband leans over and palms the back of his neck, talking in a low, serious tone that makes you tighten up, 

“Johnny.”

“Yeah, LT?”

“Ease up.” 

“Yes, Sir.” 

Johnny places a soft kiss where he bit you. It's all so…overwhelmingly intimate. Another man on top of you, grinding at just the right angle, hitting the right spots, all while your husband watches, instructing him. Simon pulls his hand away from Johnny's neck and shifts on the bed, sitting right next to you. Your eyes go wide when you turn to see him palming his erection. Oh. This is okay. This situation is more than okay. Simon fucking loves this. Johnny too. Guess you should throw away any reservations or doubts you had and just embrace this moment. Enjoy it to the fullest. 

Johnny pulls back, face slightly flushed, panting softly,

“She's so wet, Simon. Just so soft and perfect. Prettiest thing I ever saw...” 

You soak in the compliments but tune him out eventually, your attention drifting down to where Johnny slides in and out of you. It's a dreamy sight, really; you look so good together, it kind of reminds you how wonderful you and Simon look together. 

“Looks real nice, doesn't it? Taking me so well, hen.”

Johnny presses his forehead against yours, looking down while you hum in agreement. It's quiet for a moment, save for the occasional pant and moan or slick sounds from between your legs. A rough hand holds your left and another, larger hand grabs your right. It's all so sweaty, so sticky and sweet. So dazed, you barely register the first kiss Johnny plants on your lips. The second one makes your eyes shoot open, staring right at his annoyingly long, brown lashes until he pulls back and opens his eyes, blindingly blue. Your face gets hot, and you pull your hand to your face, your husband's fingers still intertwined with them. He extends his pointer finger to caress your cheek and you turn your face to look up at him. He's so gentle right now like he knows that's what you need from him. 

A smile plays on his face when you open your mouth and slide his finger into your mouth, sucking softly, rolling your eyes back, and moaning softly. You love giving him a show. Love making him melt in your mouth. He nods over to Johnny, whose jaw is slack, breathing hard. When you look at him, it's quite the sight: blue eyes wide and wild, mouth hanging open, and you can see his pulse right underneath his jawline beating wildly. Just fucking delectable. You pull your face away from Simon's hand and smile up at Johnny who groans and chuckles,

“Christ, LT.”

“Focus, Johnny. Ain't done yet.”

There's something feral that flashes in Johnny's eyes, hungry. Eager to please. You or Simon, you're not too sure. But he hooks an arm under your knees and hikes your leg up as far as it'll go, digging into you until you're a whimpering mess under him. His whole body pressed up against you, pinning you down. His mouth pressed right up against your ear, replacing every thought you had with his voice. 

“Right there? Huh? God, tight cunt right here…C'mon... Tell me how good it is…Tell me.”

He repeats the last phrase until you're mindlessly praising him, telling him what he wants to hear. What he needs to hear. You can feel him smile against the skin right under your ear before pressing tender kisses there. 

You're pressed chest to sweaty, hairy chest when you wrap your arms around him tighter, embracing him. All traces of guilt scraped away with Simon's breathy praise. You move one hand around until it rests on your husband's big thigh, and he tenses up under your touch. 

“C'mon love, give Johnny something real nice. He's been such a trooper, yeah?” 

You nod into Johnny's shoulder, breathless. 

“Uh-huh,”

It hits you hard and fast. Almost unexpectedly. Hearing a small moan escape Simon always sent you over the edge, though, always a rare moment when he lets himself relax and be vulnerable. 

Spasming and moaning under Johnny had his hips moving frantically, desperate for his own release. Biting his shoulder had him crashing right into it, digging deep into you until his hips still. He crushed you under his weight, licking the sweat off your neck. Simon pushed his head away though. 

“Don't forget, she's my wife Johnny.

His voice isn't harsh, it's almost soft. His large frame leans down and presses a tender kiss against your lips. Then another. And another. All while singing velvety praises between each one. For a moment, you forget about the other man in the room lying right on top of you. Until he pulls away, sliding out of you. Almost makes you whine til he starts pressing his lips against your sternum and stomach. Head in the clouds, you feel like you're floating. Suspended in this moment of pure bliss. 

“You got one more in you?”

Simon asks. Before you can answer, Johnny responds eagerly. 

“Always.”

[alchemistc]

Y'all were so insistent that I keep going with the Eddie Fixes It By Making It Worse post breakup fic.

This is officially a three-parter. Sorry. Or you're welcome.

You can read part one here

We have to make out in front of Tommy.

Buck's in the ice cream aisle, reminding himself that he has given himself three more days of moping and ignoring his diet before he gets his ass in gear and starts to live a life again. The Halo Top is mocking him, jeering and heckling as he goes for the Blue Ribbon. Mint chocolate, because Buck always loved it and he can almost forget the mock fight he'd had with Tommy three months in when he told Buck he refused to allow toothpaste flavored treats into his home, and how they'd barely gotten back to his place without a public indecency citation.

He stares at the text until his eyes cross.

What, he sends back, and slowly, cautiously, returns the pint of ice cream to its spot in the cooler. Maybe he should lay off the sugar. He's had enough.

Trust me

It comes in almost immediately and Buck tries to rewind, tries to figure out what any of this means, what the context is, why he's getting an actual Trust Me Bro from his best friend.

You've already met your last and it's not me comes crashing back to the forefront of his mind. He's had a full 36 hours to forget it, and he had been nearly there, nearly ready to chalk it up to Tommy trying to make him angry. Which he's been doing a really fucking excellent job of, lately. Almost like he knows all the buttons to push. Like Buck had given him the owners manual.

Tommy had meant Eddie? How could Eddie have possibly come to that conclusion? What the hell was he doing sending Buck half across town to the market for snacks when -

Buck judges the distance from this market to Eddie's. Then to Tommy's.

"Oh you mother -."

A woman squeaks by with her kid in the cart seat and glares.

---

Are you at Tommy's right now

No question marks. This is an accusation. Buck's thankful there are no perishables in his cart as he abandons it in the lane and hikes it towards the door. It's a dick move, and Buck feels, a little spitefully, like if anyone remembers him they'll remember him from the times he and Tommy giggled and play-fought down the aisles, so they'll think of Tommy when they think of the cart left behind. Resent him for it, maybe.

Not like Tommy isn't particularly good at just leaving things behind.

Yeah. Join me.

Buck breaks through the doors and feels a little woozy. This might be a panic attack. His chest fucking hurts.

🖕just get my stuff and meet me at yours. tell Tommy we burned all his shit

Eddie is an asshole. I'm not gonna LIE to the man. Also he definitely doesn't have an Evan box ready to go, so take what you will from that

Buck's still in that vicious cycle where he goes from angry to upset to sad in record time, no barriers in between, where every bruise feels like it's healing too fast so he keeps pressing in just to watch the color muddle. He hates this.

It'd be a Buck box, Buck texts back, just to release some of the pressure behind his temples, and he pulls in a few deep breaths before he jogs for the Jeep. He's gonna go home. Throw on the DVD copy of Sleepless In Seattle Tommy left behind and then maybe once that's done he'll throw the damn thing in a blender.

Are you coming or not?

Buck turns the ignition and peels out in a direction that won't lead to his own home, or the things Buck has been too much of a mopey bastard to pack up and return to their owner. At a red light two miles down the road, he shares his location.

Eddie sends back an ominous Hope you brushed your teeth today.

---

Eddie gets the door and it sucks just as much as if Tommy had. They barely ever spent time at Tommy's, and Buck can see it now for the boundary it was. When they had, though, their time had been split pretty evenly between Buck picking him up for a date, and Eddie wanting to leave the quiet echo of his own house to hang with them - a car on a lift and beers shared between them, Buck watching the pull of muscle beneath Tommy's shorts as he took Eddie down to the mat, Tommy's fingers drifting through the short curls at the back of Bucks head while Eddie yelled about triple-doubles and chatted with Tommy about how impossible coverage was for some guy named Joker.

Buck has never actually figured out who that guy was. Eddie hated the Mavericks and he hated the Lakers but Eddie also complained about the guy so much he definitely wasn't a Clipper.

Eddie gets him by the forearm when Buck shows clear signs of regretting this. Drags him through the front door before Buck can fully execute his spin and stomp back to the Jeep.

Tommy's next door neighbor had waved at him from her yard where she was doing something new with her display of bird sculptures, and Buck hadn't had the heart to do anything but raise his hand back.

It's less than ten seconds before Eddie is steering him down the hall, into the living room. It's cozy in here. Lived in. Mismatched furniture that somehow fits, a blanket thrown over the side of the couch, dark wood tables and light wood flooring and lamps that look like they came from an estate sale up in the Hills. A huge ass TV set above the mantle of a gas fireplace that Buck never even had the opportunity to see working before... Before.

Tommy is a shadow coming out of the kitchen, and Buck can't help but be a little pleased that he looks as crappy as Buck feels.

---

Eddie claps his hands together before either of them can get a word in. "Okay. Here's the thing. You're both dumbasses and there's a lot of shit that you guys gotta figure out on your own. But apparently you," he points at Tommy with the lip of a beer bottle. Corona. Tommy hates the stuff, and Buck is reminded once again how dearly Eddie loves him, "need empirical evidence that there's no deeply repressed sexual tension between Buck and I. So."

"You're insane," Tommy says, and Buck feels like snapping at him. He's probably right. This is an insane thing to do. Eddie ambushed his ex and then ambushed Buck in the frozen treats aisle and now he wants to kiss Buck to prove a point? What??

Eddie ignores it. Turns to Buck. "How do you wanna do this?"

And now would be the time, actually. Now would be the time to cut the thread, make it clean, break it for good. Only despite his protest, Tommy is staring between them and his expression looks almost... hungry. Frightened, at the same time. Oh. Oh.

He really had thought...?

Eddie's a fucking idiot. Buck doesn't want to kiss him. He's squared with the fact that he definitely had a crush when they first met and he's definitely been attracted to Eddie and just not realized it but he doesn't want Eddie. He doesn't want a life with Eddie, not like that. He doesn't- He isn't -

He loves Eddie more than almost every other person on the planet, but he's not in love with him.

Buck squares his shoulders. Nods. "Yeah, okay," and then he's taking three strides to meet Eddie at the coffee table.

---

"Oh come on, are you serious?"

Buck ignores the exclamation from the peanut gallery. Tries to figure out where to put his hands. He's never really noticed the height difference before. It's barely anything - a couple inches at most - but it feels like he's looming, this close. Which is stupid. He's been this close to Eddie a million times.

Eddie bends his knees to set the beer down. Darts his gaze back up to Buck.

Buck's seen him pull this move before, and has to bite down the urge to cackle because those big brown cow eyes have charmed women up and down California and probably plenty of Texas too but the only time Buck's ever seen them look genuine was when he was looking at Shannon.

He's got a good face. Angular in all the right places, expressive in a way a lot of men try to hide. Good eyelashes, clear skin.

Eddie gets a thumb in one of Buck's belt loops and tugs.

It's a good move. It's a move that has inspired Buck to sink to his knees on more than one occasion with the right men. Man. Just the one man.

He desperately bites back a giggle when the front of their thighs brush and Buck feels nothing more than the heat coming off Eddie.

Eddie's flushed, just a little, like he's well aware how ridiculous this all is, but he's got his I'm So Fucking Serious face on and there is a part of Buck, something fucked up and broken and wrong, that wonders how Tommy would feel to see it. To know that Buck is out there in the world kissing people who aren't Tommy. It's not like he'd ended things because he didn't care for Buck, because he wasn't attracted to him. It's gotta sting, right?

Buck gets a hand on Eddie's waist, just above his hip bone. He's never actually paid attention to how much more slim Eddie is, before, how big Buck's hands feel against him.

The night Tommy had first kissed him, Buck had spent an indeterminate length of time replaying every second of the interaction. The lead up, the frank honesty, the way Buck's entire body had followed the flow of Tommy's. Heart racing, body thrumming: when Tommy had ducked his head, when he'd laughed, when he'd opened up his body language and dropped a tiny morsel of his heart, Buck had felt himself drawn in.

The lips that had caught his had set him alight.

Eddie shifts his weight and blinks up at him and for half a second Buck wants this to be a good kiss - earth shattering, life changing. He wants to feel it. Wants it to be better than every kiss he and Tommy ever shared.

The pointer and middle finger he uses to tilt Eddie's chin up are petty as hell.

[honeygrahambitch]

"In the right pile we will put the suits we keep and in the left pile the suits you are no longer using. Okay?" Will explained. "Hannibal?"

"Remind me, dearest, why are we doing this?"

"Because I don't have place for my own clothes. And that says a lot since you fucking have a dressing room and three wardrobes."

"I don't mind sharing them with you."

"Yes but for once I would like not to search for my clothes between your suits, Hannibal. Last night when I couldn't sleep I decided to count them. Do you know how many suits you own in total?"

"Including all seasons?"

"Including all seasons."

"Seventy-three." Hannibal replied innocently.

"Seventy-three, Hannibal." Will repeated, crossing his arms over his chest. "You don't even wear all of them anymore."

"There are so many reasons I am keeping them. Some of them are pieces of art. Some bring back fond memories."

"Let's make space for new memories." Will said. Even if his sentence was too cheesy for his own taste, he forced a smile. He knew that he had to try his best if he wanted to obtain results.

"Fine."

"Great. Let's start with this. I haven't seen you wearing this in years."

"I'm keeping it. It makes your eyes pop."

"It's your suit."

"And it matches your eyes."

"As I was saying..." Will said patiently and threw it into the left pile. Only seventy-two more left.

"This one."

"I'm keeping it. The fabric is spectacular. Don't you find it unique?"

"Okay. You can keep it. Next. Definitely not keeping this."

"What do you mean? Remember how three months ago I put this suit jacket on you when you were cold? I associate it with you now and I treasure it dearly."

Will groaned and threw it into the right pile. It would probably take ages to get to a conclusion.

**

"This?"

"It makes my waist appear incredibly snatched. Don't say you don't like it."

"This?"

"We can throw it away. Because I have one which is identical. I found it so wonderful that I had to get two."

"You are sick. This is worse than being the Ripper, you know, right?"

"I really like suits. Condemn me for that."

"Whatever. We are done. We threw away six. Six, Hannibal. Six out of Seventy-three."

"And my heart aches for them. What are you doing?" Hannibal asked as he saw Will suddenly searching for something on his phone.

"Ordering myself a wardrobe from Ikea."

[starxiaos]

dreamscape by nct dream: the review

— preface: i am still a relatively new fan, so i don't recognize all their voices yet. i also do not speak korean, nor am i fluent by any means. this review is solely based on vibes, instrumentals, and english phrases. the translations are not out yet at my time of posting this. this being said, this review is also for shits and giggles, and i could be entirely wrong. however, this is my opinion and my review, so if it bothers you, write your own. special thanks to our favorite dreamzen, @jenoslutie , for helping me with vocal recognition.

— details. release date: november 11, 2024. # of songs: 11 total listening time: 34 minutes note: eleven songs...released on 11/11..i see you. — overall rating: 9.2/10. favorite songs are marked with ☆, regardless of rating.

— track 1: INTRO : DREAMSCAPE rating: 8/10 thoughts: guitar in the beginning is nice. this is sweet. i don't know who is who but i assume that haechan was the second vocalist in the beginning. "trying to wake up, up, up. fly away." was adorable. this beat was very cute and warm, in my opinion, while still keeping their sort of edm/trance trademark.

— track 2: When I'm With You rating: 9.8/10 live reaction: love this beat, what? i don't know enough korean but this shit feels like men yearning, based on the english parts and their tones alone. the syncopations for "when i'm with you" are really good and smooth. 1:49-1:56 WHO IS THAT??? (it was haechan) "when i'm with you…day and night…" VS "when i'm with you…i'm so blind.." oh you're in LOVEEE!!! 2:50-3:00 WHO ARE THOSE TWO??? (it was renjun and haechan, then jeno) whoever didn't like this is fucking stupid. it's fun and funky and a little refreshing.

— track 3: Flying Kiss rating: 10/10 live reaction: "like a fanta-zzzzzy" BRO? "baby i know that you love me." oh my? that's so…this beat CHANGE HOLD UP! "I LOVE YOU FOREVER" OOOOH OMG THEY'RE EATING WAIT!? these beat changes are GOOD! it changes the vibe for a moment then right back, it's like a rollercoaster dip. "girl you're my DREAM." who is fucking him bc they're doing a GOOD job. the way they're throwing in "i love you forever!" is so boyfriend sneaking out of his gf's house because she has school the next day and blowing her kisses type shit. this is VERY cute.

— track 4: i hate fruits ☆ rating: 10/10 live reaction: BERRY TASTE TASTE TASTE? i like this instrumental a lot. "trynna hate you" i love when a man cannot admit to himself that he likes a girl. i love that, because it's so obvious that he DOES. "lo-lo-love you so bad." THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT WHATTTT I LOVE YEARNING? "love is super sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet in my mouth" that's fucking cute as fuck what the hell. "whole world mine, you're mine" HELPPPP JAFBSLJCKBHLFB THATS SO CUTE AWWWWW WHAT THE HECK GUYS!! "like a grapefruit, sweet and sour" OMGGGGGGG!!!

— track 5: No Escape rating: 10/10 live reaction: this beat is eating. that ricochet sound in the back is GOOD, that'll get stuck in your head fr. this is a song that makes you feel like you're drowning in someone else's problems because you're listening about them and don't really know what to do, forward slash can't do anything about them because you're on the outside. so really, it's like watching THEM drown. even though none of them have writing credits for this one, i get it. "never know why this anxiety keeps coming for me" is a serious statement but the way they've mixed this, it just sounds like a warning, if that makes sense. musical genius here.

— track 6: Best of Me rating: 8/10 live reaction: oh fuck this instrumental already fucks. are all these songs just about yearning? do these boys get no pussy? ….nvm this shit is definitely about sex bro, and if not, at least some sort of intimate moment. haechan writing cred, love that, good boy. this is good! i like their beat a lot for this.

— track 7: YOU rating: 8.5/10 live reaction: this beat is nice and mellow. this is yearning, actually. this is like, actual true pining. "i'm in you" can be understood as sexual, and while i'm sure it is, it also is said…like, in an emotional way. "i'm in you" in your heart, "i'm in you" in who you are as a person, "i'm in you" in the way that you buy takeout and get my favorite dishes even though i'm not there. "i'm in you" in the way you listen to our playlists when you miss me, "i'm in you" in the way that there is a piece of me in you, and a piece of you in me because we're lovers and bound together by the love we feel. this is good, i like the fact that they'll never confirm that it's about sex because there is also so many other ways to process it, and i like the beat change when that part of the song started for mark. good job.

— track 8: Heavenly ☆ rating: 8/10 live reaction: "heavenly, heavenly, heavenly, yeah." was SO pretty. this vocal tone is beautiful, very soft but still coming in with that rap that holds purpose. that's good, i like the tonal switch up between not just their voices but the parts of the song. the instrumental is a solid 7/10 but they definitely know how to bring it higher, with the vocals it's a good 9.5/10. should be longer, in my opinion!! i love the way they say heavenly.

— track 9: Night Poem ☆ rating: 9/10 live reaction: another nice and mellow beat, this is good! this is also definitely about sex, "babe every morning, every night, everyday". this isn't about one night stand sex, casual sex, fwb sex, this is 'i'm in love with you and the universe conspired to help me find you' sex. this is 'i wanna make babies and have a two-story house and a golden retriever with you' type sex song. their tone is so soft and pretty, can never say they're bad vocalists because that'd just be a fucking lie. WHOEVER THE FUCK DID THAT SPOKEN PART AT THE END NEEDS THEIR DICK SUCKED.

— track 10: Off The Wall ☆ rating: 10/10 live reaction: i'm not sure why, but the beginning of this instrumental reminded me of highway to heaven. however, this is very funky and i love that DOWNNNN. this is something you get FUNKY to, i'm talking you play this at the roller rink and skate with your lover. but also, this is 'off the wall,' in love with you. 'off the wall,' obsessed with you. 'off the wall,' losing my mind because i want you so bad. this could also not be about love at all, instead telling listeners to just 'let loose, live your life, who gives a FUCK'. that's hot shit, i love that. good job.

— track 11: Rains in Heaven ☆ rating: 10/10 live reaction: this is a PRETTY song. this is directed at everyone and anyone, but again, can be thought of as a song for a lover. this is so, so sweet and encouraging. this beat is so melodious and their voices are soft and gentle and reassuring. this can be an inspo for a friends-to-lovers fic, something where one of them goes through so many struggles and they're vocal about them but the other does their own stuff in silence until they break? idk. this is very very sweet and cute and i think that it adds to the fact that they can dominate just about any concept. "crawl then we walk so we run" is SO encouraging, because the world is just chronically depressed. THAT HIGH NOTE WHO IS THAT OMG? ATEEE!! the fact that mark has a writing cred for this song also eats, I knew that guy had a soft heart. aw. i hope he knows he's loved. "i love the, the way you are" is so sweet and reassuring. awwww ugh this was so cutie.

— closing thoughts: despite not being new to kpop and casually listening to nct/wayv for a handful of years, i think i still have a lot to learn. however, with dreamscape being my first comeback as a dreamzen, i cannot say i'm disappointed. i've seen an array of opinions on the album, with a lot of negative feedback about the album, the concept, the lyrics, and the instrumental. it's not the vibe, and i genuinely think that if you didn't like it, you simply didn't get it. and that's okay - but making it a point to send hate and say that the album wasn't good/was 'trash' in order to make it known that you didn't get it is a stretch. i hope those of you who took the time to listen and understand the album enjoyed it just as much as i did.

this being said, the album was a mix of really, really melodic songs and comfort, with no escape and off the wall being two of the songs that throw you off course in the best way. the funky mix of off the wall and when i'm with you compliments the overall vibe of the album, and no escape adds an edge right in the middle. intro: dreamscape keeps that staple nct edm vibe, where it's just noise but it is still very soft and it really makes you zero in on the instrumentals.

overall, this album showcases a mix of love songs, inspiring songs, and a sprinkle of something human. each of these songs has that human touch, and has a feeling that you can either relate to or someone around you can relate to - or even better, something you can yearn for. it shows growth, and what can be deemed as an 'escape' into the softer, more intimate parts of adulthood. they really hit the mark on this one, and i look forward to settling more into their little nook of the music world.

[sensitivegoblin]

Vent post

[dootznbootz]

Odypen definitely and equivalently adore each other BUT I weirdly can't see them as the type to actually say "I Love you".

They still definitely vocalize their love for each other but it's more so in "My Joy", and "Extraordinary Woman", "Strange Woman/Man", etc. And very cheesy lines (both say some cheesy shit in the Odyssey, and he definitely does in the Iliad as well. "Joy like a drowning sailor seeing land" bit???)

I could see "I adore you" but even then, that's probably during very specific moments but the actual "I love you"??? I just typed it just now for fic shit and... It weirdly just didn't feel right and I don't know why. 😅

Idk maybe it's kind of because I see them as over the top in ways, they love wordplay and riddles and I think they'd almost think "...That's not good enough >:( " about it??? I don't know???😂

[seitmai]

I have many thoughts so I'm gonna use the read more function

“It’s a medallion that wards off evil” Ari explained as he leaned against your desk with a lopsided smile. “It’s incredible, there’s so much detail” you muttered in amazement, admiring the small medallion. “I thought you could use it to ward off people who talk too loud or eat loud snacks” Ari smirked making you chuckle. “I love it thank you” You smiled, if you could you’d get up and cup his cheek and kiss him, you’d just have to settle with your imagination. 

That's so sweet and thoughtful 🥰

“How about we go grab coffee?” He suggested a lopsided smile on his face. “What like a-“ you squeaked blinking in surprise. Ari grinned “Yes like a date” he finished for you.

Ahhh omg a date🤭🥳

“No you haven’t hit your head, this is really happening,” he said softly “is that really so hard to believe?” You quietly scoffed “Yes, I mean you’re you and I���m me” you admitted shaking your head. “I’ll let you in on a secret,” he said before leaning in to whisper “If you weren’t you, I wouldn’t be asking you out”

I would blush so hard 🤭🥰

You grabbed the hand sanitiser that was on your desk, squeezing a decent amount onto your hands. Lloyd hadn’t touched you but it made you feel cleaner. Just an encounter with Lloyd made you feel gross.

Relatable reaction lol

Sam had laughed and shook his head “Who knew a college professor could be so stupid” he said as he walked away leaving Ari dumbfounded.

Hahah not wrong 😅

“Coach Hansen, are you lost? The picture books are at the public library across town, I think they have sticker books too”

The way I cackled 😂

Ari shook his head in disbelief “Why didn’t you say? Why didn’t you tell him to back off?”

😒🙄

“Seriously? That’s the worst thing I could do with a man like him, you think he’ll take my no as an answer?” You scoffed “The safest thing I can do is be nice and polite and hope to god that nothing happens, that he gets bored and moves on” you exclaimed gesturing with a clenched fist towards the door “And if he doesn’t I just have to pray that I can find not only the ability to fight back but win… and I know it’s wrong but that’s just reality!”

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

Silence fell in the room. Ari stood there and watched as you breathed heavily. He’d fucked up and he knew that, even if part of him was pretty impressed at how you put him in his place. “You’re right, I’m sorry” he apologised holding his hands up in surrender as he took a couple of steps closer “That was very male of me to say that” he added with the smallest of smirks.

I'm glad that he gets it at least now...

Ari smiled softly as he walked closer to you again “I’m sorry, I’m sorry this is the reality you have to live in” he said before his brows furrowed in concern “You’ve never felt like that with me have you?” You quickly shook your head, stepping closer to close the distance your hands resting on his biceps “No, god no” you told him “You’ve never made me uncomfortable” “Good, and if I ever do just put me back in my place like you just did” he smirked.

He is perfect 🥹🥰

The past couple of months had been the best of your life and it was all thanks to Ari. As the weather got colder you got excited to celebrate the holiday season with him. You’d already had a lot of fun with him at Halloween and Thanksgiving, he’d dressed up as Indiana Jones and you went as Marion. He looked incredible as Indy, you really had to try hard to keep your hands to yourself at the faculty party. You did have a lot of fun with the whip afterwards though.

🥰🥰🥰

 “Y/N” he smirked as he pressed a kiss to your neck, pulling your hips back so you could feel that it wasn’t just you who was getting distracted.  “Ari” you sighed as you melted back onto him “We can’t, not here” you muttered as he continued to kiss your neck, one hand moving up to your breast.  “Sure we can” he murmured “It's late, no one else is here” You could feel your resolve weakening “We should at least go to my office then” you suggested.  “No we don’t” he smirked as his other hand moved from your hip to your covered core, tugging you back towards him “This sort of thing is in the books you read and I know how much you love them”

The way my mouth dropped open 🤭

“Of course, they’re something you love” he explained with a casual shrug of his shoulders “I want to know as much as I can about you… get some ideas… make sure you’re satisfied” he smirked.  “Ari,” you said softly, shaking your head in disbelief, you couldn’t believe how incredible he was.  “So what do you say?” he smirked, “are you gonna let me worship you in your temple?”

100 times yes 🤤😌

His beard scratched against your thighs as he feasted. He knew your body so well now that not even the perfect world of fiction could compare. He made your legs so weak that if he wasn’t propping you up, you’d be on the floor.

I bet 🥵

“You’re doing so well keeping quiet” he murmured against your lips.

😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨

He started slowly but soon worked up to a fiercer pace. You clung onto him tightly, rolling your hips to meet his. You bit your lower lip to hold back your loud moan but you couldn’t stop the small gasps that escaped. It would be impossible for anyone to be silent when with Ari.

I can 100% see that 🥵

The sudden urge to take care of him took precedence over how you were feeling “Let me” you said standing up and taking the kit from him. “Sweetheart-“ Ari protested. “Ari please” you pleaded. You needed this right now, you needed to look after him, you needed the distraction.

🥺🥺🥺

“I know it’s stupid I know but after I caught him in the library and saw how upset it made you I knew I had to say and do something,” he said shaking his head “Nobody gets away with making the people I love uncom-“ “Love?” You interrupted, your jaw dropping in shock. The corners of his lips twitch upwards “Yeah” he said softly “it may have taken me far too long to realise my feelings for you but once I did I fell hard. I love you Y/N” You let out a watery chuckle and smiled at him “I love you too” you said pressing a gentle kiss to his lips.

Ahh I loved this 🥰

If you ever feel up for it, I would love to read more of these two 🤗

Between the Lines - Professor!Ari Levinson x Librarian!Reader

A/N: Massive shout out to @precious1610 who essentially was my co-author for this oneshot, you came up with some brilliant lines and ideas for this and I can't thank you enough! 

Word Count: 6.3k

Warnings: Fluff! Professor Ari (he needs a warning because damn)! Sexual Harassment and Assult (not by Ari!)! Language! SMUT! 18+ ONLY! Minors DNI!

Dividers by @firefly-graphics​

Masterlist

Between the Lines

You always looked forward to the new academic year. After weeks of the campus being quiet with only researching staff around, the liveliness of the new and returning cohorts of students always brought the campus back to life.

Another reason you enjoyed the new academic year was that Professor Levinson would be back. He often spent most of his summer in various different countries volunteering at refugee camps, providing aid during humanitarian crises. 

You’d look forward to the stories of his days off, the people he’d met and the landmarks he'd seen. He’d often bring back a little souvenir for you too, last time it was a pair of velvet slippers because ‘the library can get cold’ he said.

You missed him dearly over the summer break, which was somewhat ridiculous because he was just the professor that you had a helpless crush on. At least the gifts he brought you said he thought of you at least for just a moment while he was away.

Even if it was a hopeless crush that didn’t stop you from putting in a bit more effort on Thursdays. The day he’d always come in after lunchtime to return any books and take out more for the next week's lectures.

You were sat at your desk, scanning through the returned books when he finally walked in. You couldn’t help but smile when he walked over, he looked incredible in his blue sweater and brown suit. The look completed with a pair of glasses which were a recent addition over the last year. It was no surprise almost every girl on campus had a thing for him. His international politics class was one of the most popular.

“Hi, did you have a nice summer?” He asked as he reached your desk.

“Very good, how was yours?” You smiled up at him.

“Rewarding” he smiled before nodding down to your book “How many of those did you read?” 

You could feel the heat rising to your cheeks “Lots” you admitted with a bashful smile “lots of free time during the summer break, while you were travelling the world I was travelling the universe” 

Ari gave you a lopsided smile “Sounds incredible, speaking of travelling” he reached into his pocket “I got you a little something” he held out a tiny pouch.

“Professor Levinson you didn’t have to”  your voice soft as you took the small pouch.

“I’ve told you many times to call me Ari” he reminded you “and I wanted to”

You smiled as you opened up the pouch and gently tipped out its contents, a small silver token falling out into your palm.

“It’s a medallion that wards off evil” Ari explained as he leaned against your desk with a lopsided smile. 

“It’s incredible, there’s so much detail” you muttered in amazement, admiring the small medallion. 

“I thought you could use it to ward off people who talk too loud or eat loud snacks” Ari smirked making you chuckle.

“I love it thank you” You smiled, if you could you’d get up and cup his cheek and kiss him, you’d just have to settle with your imagination. 

“It’s nothing, anything for my favourite librarian” he winked “Need a hand putting any of these away?” he nodded over to the large collection of returned books.

“I think a few of these are top-shelf books,” you said pointing to the trolley to which you had been adding books too. 

“On it” Ari smiled, moving to grab the trolley.

“Thank you Ari” you said as you got up to follow him.

“Do you not trust me to put them back in the right places?” he smirked over his shoulder at you as you both walked through the bookcases.

“no…I trust you” you said slowly.

Ari snorted “That means no” he chuckled “After all the times I’ve helped you do this, you’d think you’d trust me by now” 

“I do trust you” you laughed “I just…” you trailed off trying to find a reason you could actually say out loud. In truth, you just wanted to make the most of any time together.

“You’re just protective of your library, I get it” Ari smiled reassuringly as he lifted a heavy book onto the top shelf. 

“Yes… protective” you muttered unable to take your eyes off his biceps, even underneath the suit you could see how impressive they were. 

Ari smiled back at you breaking you from your trance. You cleared your throat before grabbing a book from the trolley and turning to put it away, subtly fanning yourself as you did so.

For the next half an hour Ari helped you put the books back on the shelves, he even reorganised an entire shelf when you complained that it was all out of order. You were just walking back to the desk when Ari paused and turned to face you.

“What are you doing Saturday afternoon?” He asked.

“Oh um, nothing I think” you stuttered trying to recall if you had any plans, which was pretty pointless because you rarely did.

“How about we go grab coffee?” He suggested a lopsided smile on his face.

“What like a-“ you squeaked blinking in surprise.

Ari grinned “Yes like a date” he finished for you.

You couldn’t stop stuttering, your mind short-circuiting as you tried to comprehend what was happening. 

“Did a book fall on my head” you muttered to yourself, only realising you’d done so when Ari barked out a loud laugh “Shhh” you chastised on instinct.

Ari covered his mouth with his hand, delight clear in his eyes as he continued to laugh but quietly this time. You covered your face with your hands feeling utterly embarrassed at your outburst.

“Oh god,” you groaned quietly.

Ari chuckled as he wrapped his hands around your wrists and pulled your hands from your face, his smile widening when he saw you were pouting. He shifted his hold on your wrists so he was holding your hands, his thumbs stroking your palms.

“No you haven’t hit your head, this is really happening,” he said softly “is that really so hard to believe?”

You quietly scoffed “Yes, I mean you’re you and I’m me” you admitted shaking your head.

“I’ll let you in on a secret,” he said before leaning in to whisper “If you weren’t you, I wouldn’t be asking you out”

“Ari” you whispered in disbelief.

“And if you’ll join me for coffee I’ll tell you all the other reasons I’ve wanted to ask you out” he grinned.

You smiled bashfully, looking down at the floor “If I say yes, will you tell me one of the reasons now?” You asked looking back up at him.

Ari smirked “That pencil skirt and those knee-high boots to start” he said nodding down to your boots “So is that a yes?”

“It’s a yes” you grinned.

“Great” he smiled leaning in to kiss your cheek “I have to go teach now but I’ll see you Saturday”

“See you Saturday” you smiled watching him go.

You were frozen to the spot for a few moments still not entirely convinced that he’d actually asked you out and your crush wasn’t so hopeless. You eventually managed to get back to your desk, a smile on your face as you got back to work.

It was about an hour later when a shadow covered you. You were excited thinking that Ari had come back to talk to you again after his lecture but your smile faltered when you saw who it was.

“Hey sunshine,” Coach Hansen said as he leaned against the desk, lollipop in his mouth “How was your summer?”

“Nice,” you said forcing a smile “How about you Coach Hansen?” You asked to be polite.

“Call my Lloyd” he grinned “great, looking forward to the season, you’ll come and watch the games right? You can be my good luck charm” he winked.

You tried your hardest not to shudder in disgust “Oh um I’m not sure I’ll have to check my diary, I think I’m usually busy on game days” you lied.

“I’m sure I could convince you to find the time” he grinned leaning in closer.

You laughed awkwardly as you pushed your chair back and stood up to try and put some distance between the two of you “Guess we’ll see” you chuckled “Um do excuse me but I have some repairs to do in the office, you’d think college students would know how to treat books” you said stepping away “see you around” you added as you slipped into your office, shut and locked the door behind you. 

You leaned against the door and let out the shudder that you had been holding in. Coach Hansen was the most disgusting man you’d ever met, Assistant Coach Pete Brennan coming in a close second. You’d heard rumours that Hansen had slept with multiple cheerleaders throughout the years. Why some of the most popular girls would sleep with him was beyond you. 

You grabbed the hand sanitiser that was on your desk, squeezing a decent amount onto your hands. Lloyd hadn’t touched you but it made you feel cleaner. Just an encounter with Lloyd made you feel gross.

You sat down at your desk with a heavy sigh, it had been a rollercoaster of a day. But on the plus side, you had a date with Ari. The thought of that alone was enough to bring a smile back to your face. You had to think about what to wear, something that went well with your boots you thought.

It had been a couple of weeks since his date with you and Ari felt incredible. He hadn’t realised his feelings for you until the summer. He’d been walking through the market with one of his volunteer friends, Sam, he’d just found the small medallion when Sam snorted and shook his head.

“For your librarian friend?” Sam had chuckled.

“She would love it” Ari explained as he paid for it.

“Have you asked her out yet?” Sam asked as they walked to the next stall.

Ari frowned “No, she’s a friend” he’d said even if it felt wrong to call you just a friend.

Sam had laughed and shook his head “Who knew a college professor could be so stupid” he said as he walked away leaving Ari dumbfounded.

For the rest of the day, Ari had replayed that conversation before he finally came to the realisation that he had feelings for you. That he’d had feelings for you for a while now. If he wasn’t halfway across the world he would have gone straight to you and asked you out.

He was so glad you’d said yes, he’d found it so adorable how flustered you got. You were a little flustered on the date but Ari made sure to put you at ease and soon enough the side he absolutely loved about you. The sweet and a little cheeky side. 

His favourite part was when you both left the coffee shop. It had been unseasonably cold for a September afternoon and he could see you shivering. So he took off the blue jacket he wore and draped it over your shoulders. You smiled up at him, the jacket almost swallowing you up as you wrapped it around yourself more. It was the cutest sight ever.

He now found any opportunity to visit you in the library. When he walked in you weren’t at the front desk, he checked your office but you weren’t in there either. He noticed that the book return trolley was missing meaning you were out putting books back on shelves.

He started walking through the library trying to find you. He eventually found you in a far corner, his blood boiling at the sight. You had your back pressed against the bookcase as the sleazeball Coach Hansen crowded against you. Ari couldn’t instantly see how uncomfortable you were even though you were forcing a smile.

He cleared his throat loudly to interrupt. Lloyd looked over and rose to his full height allowing you to sidestep away from him.

“Professor Levinson” Lloyd greeted him with a lopsided smirk.

“Coach Hansen, are you lost? The picture books are at the public library across town, I think they have sticker books too” Ari said as he walked over, fists clenched down by his sides, he then turned his attention to you “Are the books I requested ready to collect, I need them for my lecture in half an hour” he didn’t have any more lectures today, he knew you’d know that and hopefully took the out he was giving you.

You blinked a couple of times “Oh, not quite I’ll um go get the last of them now” you muttered before shuffling past him and back towards the front desk.

“I think you have somewhere else to be don’t you Coach Hansen?” He asked turning his attention back to the sleaze ball.

Lloyd ran his tongue over his teeth as he studied Ari “Somewhere more interesting that’s for sure” he said before turning and leaving.

Ari followed behind him just to make sure that Lloyd actually left the library. You weren’t at the front desk but he spotted you peaking through the blinds in your office. 

Once he was satisfied that Lloyd had gone he walked over to the office door and gently rapped his knuckles against the wood. He pushed the door open slowly when he heard you answer. He found you perched on the edge of your desk rubbing your hands, the faint smell of hand sanitiser lingering in the air.

He closed the distance between you, his hand moving to brush hair out of your face and cup your cheek but he stopped himself short. You might not want anyone to touch you right now.

“Hey, are you okay?” He asked softly.

You took in a deep breath before nodding as you breathed back out “Fine, just feel a little grossed out, nothing out of the ordinary” you admitted.

Ari’s brows furrowed “This has happened before?”

You gave him a weak shrug of your shoulders “Kinda, usually, I’m at the front desk so I have that barrier” you said gesturing in front of you “Today was the first time he’s found me between the cases” 

Ari shook his head in disbelief “Why didn’t you say? Why didn’t you tell him to back off?”

You scoffed and stepped away from him, crossing your arms as you moved to the far corner of the office. When you turned back to face him you hit him with a hard look.

“Seriously? That’s the worst thing I could do with a man like him, you think he’ll take my no as an answer?” You scoffed “The safest thing I can do is be nice and polite and hope to god that nothing happens, that he gets bored and moves on” you exclaimed gesturing with a clenched fist towards the door “And if he doesn’t I just have to pray that I can find not only the ability to fight back but win… and I know it’s wrong but that’s just reality!”

Silence fell in the room. Ari stood there and watched as you breathed heavily. He’d fucked up and he knew that, even if part of him was pretty impressed at how you put him in his place.

“You’re right, I’m sorry” he apologised holding his hands up in surrender as he took a couple of steps closer “That was very male of me to say that” he added with the smallest of smirks.

You pursed your lips before letting out a small chuckle “Yes it was” 

Ari smiled softly as he walked closer to you again “I’m sorry, I’m sorry this is the reality you have to live in” he said before his brows furrowed in concern “You’ve never felt like that with me have you?”

You quickly shook your head, stepping closer to close the distance your hands resting on his biceps “No, god no” you told him “You’ve never made me uncomfortable”

“Good, and if I ever do just put me back in my place like you just did” he smirked.

You bit your lower lip “I’m sorry” you said with a slight wince.

“No don’t apologise, it was actually kinda sexy” Ari whispered as he leant in

Your smile turned bashful as you looked up at him. He smiled back down at you as he moved to cup your cheeks with both hands, his thumb gently stroking the apples of your cheeks. Your head tilted into his touch, your eyes shining as you looked up at him.

“How do you feel now?” he asked softly.

“Much better thank you”

“Good, and I promise nothing like that is gonna happen again, I’ll make sure of it” he swore “I’ll be here when you finish tonight to walk you to your car and text me if he comes back before then”

“Okay I will, thank you Ari,” you said with a grateful sigh.

“It's nothing, sweetheart” he smiled before leaning down to capture your lips in his. 

He started gently just to make sure you were okay with it but as soon he felt you melt into his touch he let go of his restraint and deepened the kiss. From the moment he finally got to kiss you on your first coffee date he knew he was a goner. With every kiss since, every time he got to hold you, be close with you he fell harder and deeper for you.

If he could, he’d stay here with you forever but he had something he needed to do “I have office hours soon so I need to head off” he said softly as he rested his forehead against yours. 

“That’s okay, I’ll see you later” you smiled, running your hands over his biceps.

“See you later” he smiled, pecking your lips once more before making his way out of your office.

When he stepped out of the library instead of turning towards his building, he turned in the opposite direction. Towards the football field and training facilities. He found Lloyd in his office talking to his assistant coach, Pete Brenner, lollipop in his mouth as he chuckled. 

“Professor Levinson” Lloyd smirked when Ari walked in “Are you a little lost?” he asked with a condescending tone, throwing Ari’s words back at him. 

Ari instantly saw red. He surged forward, pinning Lloyd to the nearest wall, fist gripping the mustard polo collar Hansen wore. 

“What the shit!” Pete exclaimed, shooting up from his seat, while Lloyd just laughed.

“Sit” Ari hissed over his shoulder at Pete who instantly did what he said like an obedient dog.

“It’s cool Brenner” Lloyd smirked “Let him have his moment”

Ari growled in response, shoving him back against the wall again “Don’t push me”

Lloyds just laughed “Oh c’mon pumpkin,” he said shaking his head “What are you gonna do? Strangle me with boredom? Talk me to death? You academic lot are so funny” he tilted his head with a condescending look. 

“You go near her again and you’ll find out exactly what I can do to you” Ari warned.

“Aw, you got a little crush on my little librarian?” Lloyd grinned. 

Ari shifted his grip, his fingers wrapping around Lloyd's throat. Lloyd only looked more excited, a wolfish grin growing.

“She’s not your property and never will be” Ari said, squeezing his grip slightly for good measure. 

Lloyd didn’t say anything for a moment, his eyes studying Ari “Warning taken” he finally said. 

Ari wasn’t entirely convinced but took a couple of steps back, letting go of Lloyd. Lloyd shrugged and straightened out his polo before regarding Ari with a look.

“What are you still doing here?” he asked “trying to cause more of a scene? I don’t think Y/N would like that”

Ari clenched his fists and resisted the urge to punch Lloyd right there and then but the sick bastard was right. If you knew Ari had caused this scene you would hate it. You probably wouldn’t want to see him anymore and he’d lose the best thing he’s ever had.

“Stay away from her” he reiterated harshly, pointing over to Lloyd who held his hands up in surrender a smirk playing on his lips. 

Ari turned, shooting a glare at Pete who shifted uncomfortably in his chair. He stormed out of the office, the door slamming so hard that it rattled behind him. 

The past couple of months had been the best of your life and it was all thanks to Ari. As the weather got colder you got excited to celebrate the holiday season with him. You’d already had a lot of fun with him at Halloween and Thanksgiving, he’d dressed up as Indiana Jones and you went as Marion. He looked incredible as Indy, you really had to try hard to keep your hands to yourself at the faculty party. You did have a lot of fun with the whip afterwards though. 

Much to your relief too, Lloyd had kept away from the library and you. That short interaction between him and Ari in the library had clearly sent enough of a message that you were taken. 

Ari had been the sweetest too, he’d meet you whenever you finished work to walk you to your car or pick you up to take you back to his place. He visited the library more and helped out whenever he could. You joked that you should get him an assistant librarian badge. 

It was Friday evening and you were working late. A large delivery had arrived ready for the new semester in January and you wanted to get them all sorted before the Christmas break. Ari had agreed to help out, bringing snacks and keeping you company. 

It was taking a little longer than you expected because you kept getting distracted by Ari. he was wearing a deep green button-up sweater which hugged his arms deliciously, especially when pushed the sleeves up to his elbows. 

He’d definitely caught you checking him out if the smirk on his lips was anything to go by. But when he’d lift heavy books up onto the top shelves you couldn’t help but stare, you were only human after all. 

You shook your head to try and clear it so you could focus on the job at hand. You turned away from him and crouched down to put away some books on the lower shelves. When you stood back up you were surprised to find Ari stood behind you, his hands resting on your hips. 

“Ari” you muttered as you looked over your shoulder at him. 

“Y/N” he smirked as he pressed a kiss to your neck, pulling your hips back so you could feel that it wasn’t just you who was getting distracted. 

“Ari” you sighed as you melted back onto him “We can’t, not here” you muttered as he continued to kiss your neck, one hand moving up to your breast. 

“Sure we can” he murmured “It's late, no one else is here” 

You could feel your resolve weakening “We should at least go to my office then” you suggested. 

“No we don’t” he smirked as his other hand moved from your hip to your covered core, tugging you back towards him “This sort of thing is in the books you read and I know how much you love them”

You blinked a couple of times in surprise as you turned around to face him “How did you know that?” 

Ari gives you a lopsided grin “I’ve read them” he answered.

“You read them” you repeated in disbelief. 

“Of course, they’re something you love” he explained with a casual shrug of his shoulders “I want to know as much as I can about you… get some ideas… make sure you’re satisfied” he smirked. 

“Ari,” you said softly, shaking your head in disbelief, you couldn’t believe how incredible he was. 

“So what do you say?” he smirked, “are you gonna let me worship you in your temple?”

You nibbled your lower lip and nodded, you could never say no to him. 

“Good, now make sure you stay quiet” he smirked as he sunk down to his knees “We are in a library after all” 

You let out a shuddered breath of anticipation when his hands slipped under your skirt to pull down your underwear. Once he tucked them into his back pocket his hand wrapped around the back of your knee and lifted it. He pressed a kiss to the exposed skin just above your knee-high boots. He hooked your leg over his shoulder as he pressed kisses up your thighs, his head disappearing underneath your skirt.

You cupped a hand over your mouth to silence yourself when his lips finally found your core, his quiet moan vibrating against you when he discovered how wet you were for him already. Your other hand found the back of his head, your fingers weaving through his long, soft locks. 

His beard scratched against your thighs as he feasted. He knew your body so well now that not even the perfect world of fiction could compare. He made your legs so weak that if he wasn’t propping you up, you’d be on the floor.

The feeling of him between your legs was like heaven, especially when he’d tease your clit. You wanted to stay in this moment forever, you also wanted him inside you, and you wanted to reach your peak. 

“Ari” you whimpered, your fingers gripping his hair tightly.

You felt him smirk against you before diving back in. Except this time his lips wrapped around your clit and he slipped two thick fingers inside you. You had to bite your fist to stop yourself from screaming, especially when his fingers curled against that golden spot and fireworks exploded as you hit your peak.

Ari worked you through the waves of your orgasm, prolonging to the point that the entire world melted away. You hadn’t even noticed him rising to his full height until he cupped your cheeks and kissed you deeply, the taste of you on his lips. 

“You’re doing so well keeping quiet” he murmured against your lips.

The kiss brought you back to life, energy surging through like electricity. Your hands quickly found his belt buckle and pushed down his deep green trousers enough to free him. You wrapped your fingers around him and pumped him a couple of times. Just the weight and feel of him in your hands made your core ache for him.

It was like Ari had read your mind because he hooked his hands under your thighs at the same time that you wrapped your arms around his shoulders to climb him like a tree. You buried your face into the crook of his neck to muffle your moan when he entered you.

Neither of you moved once he was fully seated inside you. You only breathed deeply as you took in the feeling of him filling you up completely. It was a feeling you never wanted to get used to and one you hoped you’d always have. 

Soon enough you felt the overwhelming urge for movement, you turned your head to press kisses to his neck just below the ear “Move” you whispered pleadingly.

Ari chuckled softly “Anything for you” he said before thrusting up into you.

He started slowly but soon worked up to a fiercer pace. You clung onto him tightly, rolling your hips to meet his. You bit your lower lip to hold back your loud moan but you couldn’t stop the small gasps that escaped. It would be impossible for anyone to be silent when with Ari.

Your head tilted back against the bookcase, which Ari took advantage of as he pressed wet kisses to your neck and collarbone. You felt and heard books tumble to the floor but you didn’t care, you couldn’t care about anything except how great you felt.

You could feel your orgasm building and before you could even say anything it crashed over you and you couldn’t even think let alone speak. It felt like you ascended to a whole new plane of existence, Ari joining you shortly after as he hit his own peak.

Ari held you close as you came down from your mind-blowing high. His large hand cradled the back of your head as you nuzzled your head back into the crook of his neck.

“Can you stand?” Ari asked softly after a few moments.

You nodded “I think so” you muttered, still catching your breath.

Ari gave you a lopsided smile before pressing a soft kiss to your lips. He held onto you as he pulled out of you, a whimper falling from your lips at the emptiness. You leant back against the bookcase, feeling his spend slowly spreading down your thighs. 

You watched as Ari picked up the fallen books with his clean hand and returned them to the nearby trolley to be reorganised later. When he returned to you he slipped his other hand back under your skirt. He smirked down at you as he collected the combined juices of your and his release, spreading it back up to your core.

“Let’s get you back to your office to get cleaned up” he murmured as he kissed you.

A couple of hours later you and Ari called it a night. There were still lots of books to sort through but you were both tired and just wanted to head back to his place to relax.

You were walking into the parking lot when Ari paused and cursed under his breath “I forgot to grab something from my office” he muttered glancing over his shoulder in the direction of his building.

“That’s fine,” you said wrapping your jacket around your tighter, it was a pretty cold December night, as you turned to go with him.

“It’s fine, you go get in the car,” he said passing you the keys “Get the heater going and lock the doors, I won’t be long” he promised.

“Okay see you in a second” you said as you started to make your way towards the car. Ari jogged off in the opposite direction towards his office.

Ari had parked under a street lamp but it was barely working. Flicking on and off periodically. You weren’t worried about it though, Ari had already seen to the campus sleaze.

You reached the car with no problem but as you reached for the handle you heard someone and your blood ran cold.

“Hey sugarplum what you doing out so late?” Lloyd said.

You quickly turned around to find him stood much closer than you thought. It was like he materialised out of the shadows and just the mere thought of him had summoned him like a demon.

“Large delivery, but heading home now,” you said gesturing to the car behind you.

“So soon? I’ve not seen you around in a while, maybe we should catch up” he smiled as he closed the distance between you, backing you against the car.

“Oh um well it’s late, uh maybe another time? I’m pretty tired” you stuttered as you leaned back to create some distance.

An evil smirk grew on his face “Tired or bored? I bet you’re bored to tears hanging out with that dull professor” he said “but don’t you worry, I can show you a good time”

His hands gripped your hips and you stopped breathing. Ari had kept hold of your underwear after cleaning you up, it was something that excited you at the time but now you regretted it. You didn’t want to think what Lloyd would do if he discovered you weren’t wearing underwear.

“Oh no thanks, I’m very happy as I am,” you said, your voice wobbling.

Lloyd smirked as he leant in to whisper in your ear “I don’t think that’s true”

Your entire body froze, eyes screwed shut when he pressed a disgustingly wet kiss below your ear. You whimpered but he just took that as a sign to carry on. He gripped you tighter, forcing his growing bulge against your stomach and kept kissing your neck.

“You like that now don’t-“ he started but he didn’t finish as suddenly he was gone.

You opened your eyes to discover Lloyd on the floor, Ari stood between the two of you “I told you to stay away” Ari growled, his fists clenched down by his sides.

Lloyd just laughed as he pushed himself to his feet “Please, she doesn’t want you, she wants me even if she doesn’t know it yet, I can read between the lines” he said before glancing around Ari to look at you “isn’t that right sugarplum?”

Ari snapped and surged forward, his fist connecting with Lloyd’s jaw. Lloyd stumbled back, the smirk disappearing and replaced by fury as Lloyd swung back and punched Ari.

You gasped in shock, hands covering your mouth as the two men brawled in front of you. It was a blur of punches and for a moment you couldn’t work out who was winning. This was a side of Ari you had never seen before. To your relief Ari got the upper hand, landing a hard punch to the side of Lloyd’s head causing him to stumble. Ari took advantage of his disorientation and grabbed his shoulders and threw him to the floor, pinning him down and shoving Lloyd’s face into the asphalt. 

At that exact moment campus security finally appeared and rushed over “What’s going on here?” One of them demanded.

“Coach Hansen was sexually assaulting Miss Y/L/N“ Ari said keeping Lloyd pinned down even though he wasn’t fighting anymore.

“Is that correct miss?” The security guard said, you tore your eyes away from Ari and Lloyd and looked over to the guards, barely being able to bring yourself to nod in response “Okay, we’ll take it from here” he said. 

Ari finally climbed off of Lloyd to let the security cuff him and pull him to his feet. You gasped quietly when you saw just how beaten and bloodied he was, how much Ari had beaten the crap out of him.

“Would you like us to report this to the police on your behalf?” The other guard asked you.

“I uh yes please” you muttered weakly.

“We’ll be in my office when they arrive” Ari told them before finally turning to face you.

Your heart stopped for a moment when you saw his split lip and brow. He didn’t look as bad as Lloyd but it was still difficult to see.

“Let’s go sweetheart” he said softly as he wrapped his arm around you to guide you away from Lloyd and to his office.

The entire walk to your office all you could hear was buzzing in your ears, your entire body felt numb. You hadn’t even realised you were in his office until he sat you down in his brown leather office chair. You blinked a couple of times and looked over at him as grabbed a first aid box from the far corner.

The sudden urge to take care of him took precedence over how you were feeling “Let me” you said standing up and taking the kit from him.

“Sweetheart-“ Ari protested.

“Ari please” you pleaded.

You needed this right now, you needed to look after him, you needed the distraction.

“Okay” he relented softly, he moved to perch on the edge of his desk.

You grabbed what you needed before standing in between his legs to clean up his cuts. He didn’t even wince as you did so, he just looked defeated as he watched you work. 

“Are you okay?” He asked quietly drawing your eyes to his.

You took a deep breath “I don’t know” you admitted. 

Ari sighed “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have- I just saw him crowding you and I-I snapped” he apologised.

“No, don’t apologise I’m glad you did that, if you hadn’t been there I…” you trailed off, you didn’t need to think too hard about what would have happened.

“It’s my fault I shouldn’t have left you alone, I should have known that he wouldn’t have left you alone after I-“ he said before silencing himself.

“After you what?” You asked, brows furrowing.

“Threatened him and told him to stay away” he sighed dropping his head.

“Ari” you muttered in disbelief.

“I know it’s stupid I know but after I caught him in the library and saw how upset it made you I knew I had to say and do something,” he said shaking his head “Nobody gets away with making the people I love uncom-“

“Love?” You interrupted, your jaw dropping in shock.

The corners of his lips twitch upwards “Yeah” he said softly “it may have taken me far too long to realise my feelings for you but once I did I fell hard. I love you Y/N”

You let out a watery chuckle and smiled at him “I love you too” you said pressing a gentle kiss to his lips.

Ari smiled into the kiss as he cupped the back of your head to keep you there “How do you feel now?” He asked after a moment.

“Better” you smiled softly “I know I probably haven’t processed what happened yet and I don’t know how I’ll feel when I do” you sighed “but I know I have you so that doesn’t scare me”

“Good, and I’ll be right there beside you I won’t let anything like this happen again” Ari promised as he cupped your cheeks.

“Thank you Ari” you smiled.

“Anything for you sweetheart” he smiled before kissing you deeply once more. 

The feeling of his protection enveloped you. You knew that difficult days were ahead of you but with Ari by your side, you knew you could not only face it, but survive it.

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Masterlist

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[zecoritheweirdone]

first art post of the new year!!! granted, i don't share my art here that much anyway, but– shhh.

hehehehhhooo,, here's something i've been working on for 'bout a month,, albeit not consecutively– took a few,, very very long breaks in between working on this,, but i managed to finish it in the end! am i satisfied with it? .......ehhhh? not completely, but if this took any longer, it might not have seen the light of day, so like. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.

anyway,, made a little poster for my favorite fic, tommyinnit's services for villains, vigilantes, and various other vagabonds, by @scorpionoesit!!! it's really really good,,, and i've always wanted to make more art for it,, so i decided– poster! at least,, that's what it's mean to resemble,,, dkdmkdmdkd.

i will freely admit,, i'm... not the biggest fan of the fan-made logo i tried to design for it,, feels a bit boring, and could definitely have used a bit more pizazz, something to make feel more like the fic itself(what does that mean? you figure that out),,,, but– again, steam was running low,, dkdnksjs. graphic design is my passion. i do also have other complaints, but i'm afraid i already punched my one-use self-critique card,, oh well,,, dkdnkxjdkd.

regardless,, even with the flaws only i can really see,, this still turned out pretty okay!! hope you enjoy it, mx. scorpio and mx. alibi!!! and i hope everyone else has a wonderful new year!!!!

[look-at-the-stars-tonight]

i would like to stop experiencing the full spectrum of human emotions every day please. putting this out into the universe

[boxwinebaddie]

NINAAAAAAAAAAAA? DO YOU HAVE ANY MORE KYLEYB CONTENT? I LOVE HIM

nOOOOOOOOOOOONICA!

-- and do i EVA, dollface!

( edit: the spelling across the board is non-existent. so sorry. you are morally obligated to be nice to me; i have a tumor. also, my apologies for yesterdays post -- it is gone now *shudders at memory* --

i was very manic and upset and the jerseykyle in me that gets angry, really, really is convinced she can kill god...i do think that's still true, but it was very chaotic and embarassing to be like that on the dash.

but if you are worried about the tumor i am trying to have a ( bad ) sense of humor about, again, it’s benign, noncancerous, very, very small, to the point where it requires no surgery or radiation treatment at this time ( i do have a radiology appointment for another brain scan on the 26th so please keep me in ur thots if you can ) and i just have to cope with a lot of gnarly side effects.

i love you and hope you heal. <333 -the u.n.

so...i wrote this weird ~'thing'~ ( i'm not sure what else to call it ) because i was having a very loose and silly-goosed ( but as always, wonderfully and graciously soul-warming ) converslaytion in the dms

with dearest, darlingest teria ( whose work you should not only read and whose art is not only more immaculate than the piss-and-moan-a-lisa, but whose advice, council and conversation i enthusiastically urge you to enlist because she is truly, a little bit of heaven on earth )

and, i don't know, i was doing the silly kyley b voice for shits and giggles in my texts and...it never...left my brain ( is THAT what gave me the brain worms? ) and i had to write my weird ~'thing'~, which is my boy, THE BUOY, kyley bi-atch! talkin’ to the new kid and givin’ them some street-wise, beat-the-shit-out-of-you-poetic advice.

( if you want it...it's down at the VERY BOTTOM -- everyone say hoooola cuervostan ;) xxx -- of this post...i got weirdly passionate talking about kyley b and jersey in general, so you can read all of that if you WANT...but i'll leave the screenshots after everything, so you can scroll down easily and reach it; also...gender neutral, i promise, just girl-scout-squirrely-whirly nicknames, haha. )

cue a future me leaving this here where i left off:

*unfreezes tv screen and a feral past nina springs to life*

also, i am...so sorry in advance for this, bc, okay, look...

-- does he sound like ball bustin', good fa' nothing pauly d, soprano mobstaH? yeah...yeah he sure does, aND WHATTABOUTIT, BETCH?! ( i'm just kidding, you guys; mwah ) but like...is that not The Vibe?

like? he is not supposed to give your rough and tumble ol buddy nino down at the jewish-italian pizzeria who looks like he would rather fkn blow his brains out that take 'ya ordah' ( but loves his ma and his kid brother, and the counter guy got fkn shived, so there he is baby baby;

-- the worst man on planet earth...

…and The LUVH Of My Loife! )

...who repeatedly calls you 'toots', but he's not really hitting on you, he's just trying to size you up ( also, i love you pre-(ed)isordah jersey, the BIGGEST and the baddiest, baby! ah-baddabingbaddaBOOM! )

and he...( quite literally ) wants you to stay the fuck away from him and get the hell out of his shitty city, and, he is THE KYLEY B, BAY-BEE! he's the curliest, cuntiest, coppa'-ist ( do naaaught, howeva, group him in with the bootlickers, or he'll make you lick his...just so HE can call /YOU/ one...like...he is my BF, do you understA-- )

hooOOoo

( i am sorry; he is...my favorite mwob-buoy-bawhss xx )

but...on the inside, underneath it all, really is...just...a fine and truly beautiful specimen, the meaner he is to you, the more you like him...and...you accidentally fall in love with him ( oooY geVAULT! )

that is...in fact, what sweet, sweet stanley marsh did ( he is a genius and a visionary and I RESPECT THE FUCK OUT OF THAT SCARY BOY CRAZY CRUNCHY KALE SALAD KIIIIIIING; like, he really played The Long Game...AND WON!!! HE FUCKING WON, BABEY!!!! like

i have this pre-rm, childhood headcannon, that ( because he was trying not to say stan's name or acknowledge him -- very interesting to me because that is the Same strategy stan employed when he publicly gave kyle the jersey nickname, bc he knew he could not remain detached/unemotional if he said kyle's name --

that babyjk when he lived in south park regularly just called stan 'bambi' or 'sug' or 'masug'; short for 'masugganah' or crazy in yiddish

because rm!santanastan...

( which is what sharon called him, for the band and just to respect his chosen name, in spanish, without alerting randy's suspicions...i will start crying, i should talk abt the south park era of the rm fbs more )

was just this insane boy with gigantic fucking goldfish, cartoon dear eyes who would approach him when no one else would even DARE, was freshly obsessed with him and thought he was the bees knees.

so, because the reader, reminds him a lot of stan...he starts using those little nicknames and i wanted you to know the rm!origin. yes, he does still call stan 'bamb' and 'sug' ( which is cute, because as a nice pet name he likens it to 'sugar' sometimes, aw ) to this day

and i think, almost did it or actually one time with raven of crimson dawn and stan's gigantic fucking sugar glider eyeballs lit up and kyle was HORRIFIED because oh my god, that was a Stanley Marsh ONLY nickname and i used it on this fucking CELEBRITY MAN...like y'know actually bestie, you are a fucking genius…

— that's Your celebrity man.

BUT BACK TO BACK TO KYLEY B, BAAAAAAAAABEY!

who is the red-(H)ead-BIC of NUEW JOISEY, kid!

like my best description is that he's this fast-twalkin, street rat, night life, mortal ( but not really; he basically thinks he's god ) kombative, fucking feral, ruthless palooka-pummeling, curbstomping, pavement leveling, street-fighting piesa' literal gutta trash, or sort of like if luffy from one piece was a mad swole ( emphasis mad, he's pissed and humungous, holy shit ) scary freckled ginger new jersey pirate king

who ( bc i love a visual ) is typically out there, rocking:

a way too tight ( to the point of it almost being threadbare and rolling paper thin; he looks good tho; he's my lil diamond in da ruff ) worn out, extremely stretched out, skin-tight, faded/distressed

( that's fraying and unspooling in several along the mom-mended and barely held-together seams --sounds like a metaphor for something -- with the distracting curly font almost nearly peeled and cracked off ), probably heavily stained ( with blood...and whatever meager, worm-infested brain matta splattered on his shirt when he was bashing some bigshot's stupid head in with a tire iron -- rip; sorry ma -- sunbleached from scorching nj summers that it's almost...brown ) black affliction tank top

some huge, torn-up, baggy, aggresively rhinestone-studded, heavily sequined ( k.b, it's already so hard to see and street hardened, police siren, rough around the edges radiance is already blinding me, please have mercy [ never not once ] ) mike 'the situation' influenced, super quintessentially 2012 jersey shore adjacent ( in that they're very loud, vibrant, in your face, tacky and obnoxious ) faux americana, tattoo parlor-popularized, badly screenprinted, ed hardy jeans ( eyeconick! )

the M-o-s-t ( sigh ) hideous ( and i do mean fucking hideous, sheila broflovski is fashion blind; but she is so beautiful and kind, she is forgiven in every way ) men's size thirteen ( jersey has frighteningly large, monster-sized clown feet ) highlighter green-orange-purple basketball shoes you've ever seen

-- purchased, with love, from the sale rack of ross for dress for less ( where they were collecting dust; no one wanted those things ) and her widely amassment of store credit from...numerous previous returns ) by none other than, my favorite beehive-styling, cherry-red, new jersey hauswife, legendary broflovski matriarch ( she rlly runs that whole fkn house like the navy; choke gerald )

Miss Sheila Broflovski...

the only person who is not scared of the notorious k.m.b. kyley b and routinely, while they're out in public, ft. a baby-faced, mean-mugging kyley b jersey acting all big and bad, will pull him down by the tag of his tank top, go 'you've got some schmutz on your face, bubbula!'

hold down this gigantic, vicious, snarling, menacing, thick as brick, hard as titanium, six foot tall, juvenile detention center frequenting, frightening concrete wall of an eighteen year old boy who looks like he could gut you with his stare alone, like he's a cute, cuddly teddy bear, hawk the loudest, wettest, gnarliest lougie into a schmatta she fished out of her purse and proceed to volently scrub a tiny spot of 'sahwasce' her son's face while he squirms like a feral cat; i love her. )

and the crowning jewels ( or jewels really; not sure if they're real, but they're big and shiny, which is what matters ) duel-ery, which i call that because…

he literally weaves his way through the back-door inner-city system of crime in new jersey through info he mercilessly squeezed out of a coupla peabrained Gabbagoons, uses what little information he could decipher out of those fkn weasel's pathetic wheezes to deadpool square to wherever their bosses lair is…

makes them regret they were even born, beats them with in AN INCH of their sorry life, leaves them lying in a pool of their own gross blood, stamps a big, blingy 'B' on their forehead and browses the shattered, blood-soaked display case and five-finger discounts ( but really, if you just won a major battle or boss fight; clearly, you deserve kind of reward or compensation, right, guys? and by his logic...you're not rlly stealing what quite morally wrong, but rightfully...belongs to you )

...whatever the largest and most impressive ( or not, tbh, sometimes he's like 'ugh, really...a toe ring? that's your big come up?' ) piece of jewelry they're wearing is, sterlizes it, and flexes it it on his body and on the streets as a silent, but deadly warning to all other 'so-called' king pens and 'unstoppable' underground crime lords that

'oh, that guy YOU were scared of? i beat the piss outta him, he cried like a fucking baby, he bled like a stuck pig and is lying in the fucking sewer like a half-dead rat. and if you fuck with me; you'll be next ) and scare legit 60 y/o robert deniro level frightening men, who have been running the game since the crimson dawn of time…

-- Into SUBMISSION.

...at like...seventeen or eighteen years old.

LIKE HE IS A FUCKING LEGEND IN NEW JERSEY. they still whisper about him TO THIS DAY and have to look over their shoulders before they do...like he was that fucking Terrifying when he was out there.

and i need you to know that he is H-U-G-E. like the incredible hulk HUGE. he's not like, this scrawny, gangly, sniveling little ginger vanilla wafer cookie rolling up on you...he is like, this six foot two, gigantic size thirteen shoe wearing, slim-jim-ripping, gum and fist snacking,

NFL FOOTBALL FIELD PLAYER WIDE, like not just some measly, tiny-itsy bitsy football player -- oh, no; you wish -- he is STACKED AND JACKED, he is ten times wider than the widest receiver...he is the WHOLE DAMN FOOTBALL FIELD BITCH, fkn might-o-chrondia ( because he is the new jersey powerhouse of the concrete and hard titanium juvenille deliquient cell, which shakes when he walks, bro. )

tldr; KYLEY B IS FRECKLY, JEWISH, GINGER, NEW JERYSIAN 'THE THING' FROM THE FANTASTIC FOUR, COULD VERY EASILY BODY YOU, OR VIOLENTLY DISMEMBER AND KILL YOU AND MAKE THAT SHIT LOOK LIKE L-I-G-H-T WORK. AND I MEAN THAT.

but...he actually, believe it or not, does NOT...Kill People?

which, i honestly want to say, is stanley marsh's gentle 'post-mortem' pacifist influence still lingering around him like the sweetest ghost.

because, honestly, i think a lot of those people deserve to fucking die, not just for being extremely fucking cruel to jerseykyle for literally just existing, for how he looks of all things, his fucking APPERANCE!

( it's the teacher in me, but child and adolescent bullying, particularly in school settings, really makes me viciously angry and very, Very fucking sad because it causes soooo much psychological damage to the victim, who most likely did nothing to warrant such incessant and merciless taunting -- that was probably perpetrated because he was whip-smart, and therefore a fucking nerd, significantly larger than other boys, wore glasses, has a 'funny', loud, cartoonish voice...

( which is simply...a dialect and manner of speaking that he literally developed from growing up in new jersey and from his mother teaching him how to talk -- that shouldn't at all diminish the weigh his words carry or the meaning behind them; which, minus...a little...or a lot, of potty-mouthed sailor swearing -- which, again, only fucking happened because he was so viciously bullied, he had to adopt a harsh, slangy, malicious vernacular -- is often extremely profound, academic and reflects a very introspective perspective )

and because he's immunocompromised, had to report to the nurse's office frequently throughout the day to prick his finger and check his blood pressure for his diabetes and is often, very, very sick -- which i guess makes other kids view him as weak, but most damningly was that...he didn't fit into the mold ( or, uh, most traditional size ranges, sheila only bought him clothes from the 'big and tall' men's section of most department stores because he was so Large in stature,

like he could not squeeze into child-sized...anything; meanwhile ravenstan has itsy, bitsy baby feet and could probably slide his non-existent ass -- you are so sexy king, i love you, you needed a flaw -- into a pair of the largest sized black pair of skinny jeans they got on the racks of the junior girls section of target...like, he could and he would look damn Good too! like go AWHFF king!

HES SOOO BAD! i need to focus, but before i do~

btw; rs definitely sent jk a picture to laff. he was like damn, i am sorry it won't load; will you send five more from different angles? HELP )

but, anyways, my lifetime horny writer girl max security prison sentence aside ( and pending ), he just wasn't traditionally thin or tiny or conventionally attractive or healthy like most other boys or children and general were..so the other kids, probably ring-leaded by the most convention of the bunch, othered him, dedicated making every single day of his life miserable and made his life a living hell...

...just to have a little 'fun' at recess and laugh.

FUCK. THAT.

because, i don't know, bullying like that, creates what are usually painful lifelong feelings of self-inferiority, very difficult to remedialize through therapy and selfcare, social emotional issues with expressing yourself/emotions in healthy positive ways, militant self-isolation

and ALL of that happened to jerseykyle...and on top of just never hearing 'i love you' from his father, that hate he received from the outside world, forced him the keep everything inside and it's why he couldn't tell ravenstan he loved him, because basketball is just a game,

...but it never FUCKING ended and he could only alternate between being defensive or offensive, there was never a bell that sounded to tell him he could stop playing and that it was over, and return to 'normal', that was his normal, because, from all his overwhelming negative experiences with vulnerability, if he stopped treading water, every shark on planet earth would smell his blood in the water...

and spill it everywhere. :(

NINA, DID YOU HAVE A POINT? AND WERE YOU EVER GONNA GET THERE? i...think so? i think the point is that, these are bad people that kyley kg fucking b was putting the hurt on...and the point is that, because, like i said, he considers himself a 'debt collector' and appears villainous bc of his vicious disposition,

is really more like...

a misunderstood antihero than anything?

he's kind of like a red robin hoodie, if you will, because he goes after rapists, child molesters, guys who hurt women/animals/the weak, power-hungry bastards in suits who use that power for evil and take it out on those who are stricken with poverty, like, he is a violent criminal...but he takes out even More violent criminals.

hot boy shit!

and yeah, he does do it sort of vaingloriously sometimes, for street cred, to wear people's status symbols on his hand and placate that hurt place in himself by being scary and ferocious and making motherfuckers pay for what they did for him and how they treated him...and with all that blood in his eyes, he gets blind to the ethical portion of what he's doing...but, subconsciously...

he's doing it...

— For GOOD.

and killing people, the notion of it, not only made stanley marsh, punk rock pacifist prince, violently, violently sick, but it's also, one, too messy, a lot on his hands ( already quite heavy with his heisted and thieved jewels and video game loot ) but...i don't know? he really loves his mom, you know? batshit insane as that woman is, he loves her to death...and does spare bad-guys because of it. because everyone has a mom and not everyone's mom is kind and lovely like his, but they could...and he's sending their kid back home to them...

...in a [ BOX ].

it just...it didn't sit right with him ( he acts unbothered by the idea of murdering people...but, unless he had to, like if it was going to kill someone else and the only way to fix it would be to kill the thing about to kill them, he could do it, and again...he could do it easily. )

he also acts simultaneously above the 'laur' and studies it in school, but ultimately...what happens to this fuck-ups after he fucks them up...is not up to him. whether they live or die, that is. he gave them what was coming to them...and the rest is up to someone else.

and i won't get into it too much ( A LIE; but i have like 74937403 other blurbs about this in my drafts, i should not ferally release all that insanity in here ) but it's interesting...because rm!jersey, loses a lot of that subconscious 'good' in the process of being 'bad'.

because, after his drastic kyley b transformation into ivy league jersey, he, for the first time, is being noticed in a 'positive' way by people on the outside and he's getting 'positive' attention from them, and he feels...for once, powerful — even though, really, he's essentially rendered powerless and is chained to the approval of these people and destroys himself every moment of everyday...to be in a pretty, and small, and palatable package for them...

( yes, i want k*ll myself. )

but he BECOMES the very EVIL that he was hellbent on destroying and starts doing EXACTLY what those people did to him. and because he is so unhappy and morose and hurt and devastated, he finds outsiders, weak people, but mostly, just looks...happy? :((((

…unbothered, merely existing...and decides

to psychologically debase and torture every drop of happiness from that individual, to make his self esteem better and make him feel like, good, i am so much better than that miserable worm, squirming away, squinting at the light it once basked in...

now it can be as insufferable and small...

— As I Am. </3

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. BROTHERS, THIS SHIT MAKES ME SO SAD. I AM SOOOOO UPSET LOL.

NOOOOOO--

and they're both brutal, kyley b and jerseykyle ( who, really, do need that distinction because they are...VERY different ) jersey, one, is far worse than kyley b, i don't CARE if he could twist your intestined into rope and hang you with them...the things that jerseykyle can say, as the most beautiful man EVER, Using That Voice,

looking at you with the most disgust and contempt and unworthiness you've ever felt and completely debase you in a couple crisp, dififnued, academic words...and not touch you a single time, bc you're pathetic and beneath him...you can heal a broken bone in a couple weeks...but your mind? your heart? your self esteem?

your once…wealthy, healthy feelings of self worth?

when jerseykyle reduces you into ash with his eyes, when your body was a temple and he burns it down, like somehow, it will make his stronger where he feels weak and helpless or like it will some how vindicate stanley marsh...it is very, very, very difficult to make that rubble into a city again. like...that man will RUIN YOU LIFE.

( pleaaaAasee kiss me!!! pICK ME CHOOSE MESHSJ )

but jersey is scary in a very...bone-chilling, below-freezing, self-pleasing, self-destructive ( but in a more subtle, seemingly artistic, less 'unhand me, you big brute, ya no-good palooka' kind of way...

and, instead, it's this twisted, muted, shadowy…

...oh wow, you...really are the devil in a fresh pressed suit, college student siren who leads boys to their untimely demise, and drains them of their lifeforce in his bedroom they way he would a dry glass of wine or a cheap bodega cigarettes like in a tasteful, snake charmer kind of way...a dark academic, sleek, chic, fuck-and-succubus way )

like jerseykyle is a very pretentious, jane austenatcious, bond villian type of self-destructive...that revolves around mentally preying on the weak/innocent...because he hates himself and wants literally everyone to hate themselves more than him...so he can like himself.

and when he guts you its, in a mentally incapacitant, poisonous, cruel and insidious way, in a...classically trained, philosophical, fashionable, was...in the way a thorn on the most beautiful rose you've ever seen would gut you...or a delicate antique letter opener...might slash your palm open, gash you and bleed you dry...

whereas kyley b was a faaaar less tasteful or restrained ( in that sense but jersey is still unhinged ) destroyer of worlds...he was very hands on, ( jerseykyle will not touch you unless he has to, he'll only punch you if you will not shut the fuck up and touch you as little and impersonally as possible to sleep with you…which is ironic, i know )

kyley b is a very fast and loose, wild animal, loose canon, carnivorous 'i'll slice ya and dice ya and put ya on ice ya' and beat you until you are bloody and unrecognizable...but on the inside...

he's just this...Frightened Little Animal. :(

who hurts you because he is scared you will reach for him, and when you put food in your palm, bites it because he's scared it's a trick.

aaaaaaaaaaaaah....idk he is my special little man.

okay, shutting the fuck up now HERE IS YOUR SNIPPET:

( edit: LAMBORGHINI MERCY, ITS LONG; LO SIENTO! )

GOOD LUCK, BAMBI. </3 ;-;

( just a...branch in my eye. ) i also was worried about the nicknames being a little too...'fem...inine-ish?' which, i glawhSSED on earlier, but wrote this little extra dialogue as an example using all the little satana stan nicknames ( aw ) because i am gonna be honest, it's gender neutral and not personal, he'd tell you, straight up -- my man always keeps it one-hunna and 100% kosh, ketzele; --

something like:

'ya can throw daisy chains ova a pile of cowshit aaaaaalll you want, masug; but no matta how ya dress it up, when alls said and done; and all those pretty flowers keel ova' and die...all your fine exteria design... fuck: what's cityslicka for 'useless, fancy schmanchy holy crappola' uhhh...your...dainty lil'tle 'floral achootrama' or whateva';

gesundheit.

...means fuck awhll in new jersey, 'cause the freakin' se-wer systems! ( manure, really ) like all the people, are all totally wasted, loaded and gunked-up with broken needles, instant spray tan and crushed up cred cans; wow, golly gee whiz, dory. so...you mean to tell me...my whole life...is all a buncha crud, huh?

o-oh, no, shit i might cr--

HA! gotcha, sensodyne! cause one man's trash...is another man's treasure...and you better get comfy and rest your goddamn laurels on a street corner where a prostitute isn't going to give you freakin' hepatisis mauling ya for struting your stuff on her turf...

cause this, outta townie...

— is your new home sweet home. ;)

...wonderful little joint, ain't it? you should see when it's all lit up with gang violence...that'll really jumpstart your heart, sug. it's, uh, kinda like fireworks...if they were fucking HORRIBLE and KILLED YA.

so...and i'll talk real slow, because i'm not sure i speak malibu freakin' barbie: h-e-r-e....in...hoebroken, ( that's where we are...in case you forgot, bamb; don't look so scared, honey; the junkies will only give ya little nibble; not too many teeth there otherwise. or, uh, oxygen flowin' to the ole cranium, they're basically harmless! uh...not him. staaaaaaaaaay, the hell away away from him, sug. aY, YOUSE! SNAP CRACKLE POP! KEEP YOUR FKN DISTANCE OR I'LL CAP YA BI--

basically; v.i.p., between you...and me, there's crap...on crap...on --wait! could it be--oh no, just more CRAP lined from the rock bottom of nj all the way up to the ny-sea to shining sea skyline ( might be our fault, but the fuckin' big city biddies and hoity-freakin-toitys out there can hoof it a little; by that, i mean horse shit; fuck 'em. uh, no offense, bam. ) i shot that one outta the park a little,

ball-point is:

it's backed allllll the way...TA HELL. which, might even be kinda, uh, nice...well, compared to this fuckin' trash compacta. so take a good, long, whiff sweetheart; ‘cause here? everybody's shit stinks...

— even yours, princess.

which—OOH.

es-Specially, yours.

ever heard of a shower? you r-e-e-k."

hEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP THATS MY BOOOOOOOOOOOYFRIEND! look at him!!!! I MISS HIM EVERYDAY; KYLEY 'IF YOU AIN'T MAKIN' MONEY, TAKE! YA! BROKE! ASS! OUTTA! HOE(BOKEN)! BEFORE I BREAK IT SOMEMORE, BREAK IT SOMEMORE...(B)-I T C H!"

like and suuuuuuUUubSCRRIIIBE~

-uncle nina, the gay kyley lGBea(t)in'theshitouttayaBETCH agenda

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

one of these days i'll write up a post about the parallels and foils between vivi and hermes and why it fucking kills me. for now all i can say is in hindsight the 'latched onto vivi Hard as a kid' to 'latched onto hermes Hard as an adult' pipeline is Real

[silverselfshippingchaos]

this fandom loveesss to mischaracterize g.ladio... it's like people forget what his whole fucking dlc was about 😭

[sherlock-is-ace]

.

[meatmensch]

.

[vilelittlecritter]

Me: "I don't like people, I prefer being on my own and not talking"

People: "oh okay we'll leave you be then"

Me: "wait no PLEASE COME BACK I WANT LOVE-"

[whysamwhy123]

*surveys the landscape of Revolution and sighs deeply*