#why is dean’s heaven raking leaves tho

[deancoded-deangirl]

EVEN WHEN CAS HAS BETRAYED THEM IN LATER SEASONS, DEAN STILL ARGUES FOR HIM

[airenyah]

what are the gayest destiel episodes you can think of?

ohhhhh i gotchu hold on (this is basically gonna end up being a list of my fave destiel episodes lmaooo)

ok so just a heads-up, i don’t really remember much from s10 onwards (a lot of those episodes i haven’t actually watched since they aired whoops) and i’m currently stuck at the beginning of s9 on my complete rewatch soooo this list focuses only on the first half of the show. i might do an update if i ever manage to finish my rewatch (and remember to post an update at all when the time comes)

ok here we go:

4x16 - On the Head of a Pin

dean calls cas “cas” to his face for the very first time

dean is all “you can't ask me to do this, cas. not this.” (about torturing alastair) and uriel is all “who said anything about asking”, but cas is all: “this is too much to ask, i know. but we have to ask it” and that is the moment that dean realizes that cas cares about him and his feelings/well-being and that’s when he demands to speak to cas alone 

and it’s only after cas tells dean he really doesn’t want dean being forced to do the torturing that Dean gives in (”i would give anything not to have you do this”)

like, it’s so obvious already how much cas cares about dean already and we’re only in s4

 cas is even starting to go down the path of disobedience (with a little help from anna admittedly, but still. he’s starting to consider it)

they’re so?? comfortable?? with each other. when cas visits dean at the hospital in the end

4x22 - Lucifer Rising

dean literally makes an angel fall in this ep, i mean come on... (the way cas shows up behind him all “you asked to see me” after dean smashes the angel statue cracks me up every single time gsdlka)

dean desperately trying to get cas to help him (bc he knows that IF there’s an angel that would help him it’s cas)

cas is too afraid though and dean gets pissed and literally breaks up with him (D: "you spineless, soulless son of a bitch. what do you care about dying? you're already dead. we're done." C: "dean-" D: "we're done!")

this is the episode in which cas makes his decision and chooses dean over heaven

5x03 - Free to Be You and Me

in the previous episode sam and dean had a fight and split up. this episode starts out with dean being pissed and annoyed and just in a bad mood in general

when cas shows up and asks for help dean is very grumpy and doesn’t want to help at first but then reluctantly agrees

throughout the episode, the more time dean spends with cas the better his mood gets (honestly this point is worthy of its own separate post, i have enough screenshots lmao)

like he’s even smiling at the end of the ep when he’s talking to cas in the car!! (except then he looks over and realizes cas has left mid-conversation again and that smile is wiped right off his face and i’m sad :( )

when they’re in that brothel dean mostly has eyes for cas, even when chastity the hooker is standing right next to him

after the brothel incident when dean is cracking up and goes “it's been a long time since I've laughed that hard. it's been more than a long time. years.” like... buddy. your crush is showing.

and the way cas smiles lovingly at dean laughing next to him

dean be like: “personal space”     also dean: *reaches into cas’s coat without hesitation* *fixes cas’s shirt and tie without hesitation*

also the funniest thing about the whole “personal space” moment in the motel is that there was more than enough space for dean to step aside and increase the distance between him and cas if he had really been all that uncomfortable but he just. doesn’t. no he just stays right where he is 

when raphael is trapped in the holy oil and threatens cas all “castiel, I'm warning you. do not leave me here. i will find you.” and cas goes “maybe one day. but today, you're my little bitch.” and walks away and dean tells raphael “what he said” like the impressed and proud boyfriend that he is

inside jokes (see here)

some more iconic quotes/moments from this episode:

“cas, we’ve talked about this. personal space”

“so, what, i'm thelma and you're louise and we're just going to hold hands and sail off this cliff together?”

“well. last night on earth. what are your plans?” “i just thought i'd sit here quietly.”

“let me tell you something. there are two things i know for certain. one, bert and ernie are gay. two, you are not gonna die a virgin. not on my watch.”

5x14 - My Bloody Valentine

hunter husbands!!

the way that dean is not in the mood for hook-ups on valentine’s day and then goes to stare at cas like That

that iconic phone call at the hospital where cas just appears in front of dean who nearly runs into him

cas be looking at sam while listing all the things people can be starving for, and then looks at dean before saying “love” 

ok i know this doesn’t have that many points but really this entire ep is great, i very much enjoy all the interactions between cas and dean in this ep

like when dean is not hungry and cas is all “you're not gonna finish that?” and grabs the plate without waiting for an answer bc they’re this married in s5 already

6x20 - The Man Who Would Be King

i mean... this one is obvious isn’t it

this ep is literally all about how cas is doing everything for the winchesters aka dean

the way sam and bobby cautiously voice their suspicions of cas to dean has the same energy as carefully breaking it to a family member that you think their partner is cheating on them 

and when they trap cas in the holy oil and confront him dean also acts like a betrayed wife(gn)

which is such a stark contrast to how sam and bobby react to the betrayal (they’re mostly just like “eh this sucks” while dean is emotionally affected)

and even in the following episodes dean is way more affected by cas’s betrayal than sam and bobby are and dean is the one who argues the most with cas (honestly, this entire arc is literally that post that’s all “how do i know dean is in love with cas? bc sam isn’t”)

ok but the holy oil scene is truly like a soap opera (i mean... “where were you when i needed to hear it?” “i was there. where were you?” and dean looking back at cas one last time before running away)

this is their first big break-up and it takes them until the s7 finale to make up

special shoutout to cas watching dean rake leaves

this ep is a LOT

7x17 - The Born-Again Identity

dean’s FACE when he sEES CAS. and then DEAN’S FACE AGAIN when “emmanuel” is all “what’s your issue?”

dean’s face all throughout that first scene with “emmanuel” and daphne, I’M

“you know, I used to be able to just shake this stuff off. you know, whatever it was. It might take me some time, but... i always could. what cas did... i just can't – i don't know why” BECAUSE YOU’RE IN LOVE WITH HIM, IDIOT

the way dean interrupts all irritated when meg goes “i think we're gonna be good friends too” at “emmanuel” (jealous bf much gsdlksafd)

the way dean kept the trenchcoat just in case so he can give it back to cas should he return (which ofc he did)!!!!

7x21 - Reading is Fundamental

yet another one of those “how do I know dean is in love with cas? bc sam isn’t”

at the beginning of the ep at some point sam’s phone rings and when he says that meg (who is watching over cas at the mental hospital) is calling, dean is quick to stand up and even tho meg called sam, dean is the one who ends up having the phone call with her lmao

also dean has no chill during that phone call lmao (he’s irritated when he finds out meg didn’t call them right then and there as soon as cas woke up and he’s immediately concerned when meg says cas is different, while sam’s just standing there holding his phone out to dean, being all ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ lmao)

dean: *pissed af at cas*    also dean: *almost breaks his own neck at the speed with which he whips his head around at the mention of cas’s name and is desperate to know his location when cas calls meg after dean blasted him away with some other angels at the hospital*

ok no but then meg tells cas their location and cas zaps into the car and it’s hilarious how quick dean is to interrupt whenever cas turns his attention to meg in that scene

8x07 - A Little Slice of Kevin

dean seeing cas everywhere

when you see your best dudebro outside the window in the middle of a storm but when you get up he’s gone and you feel like crap because you could’ve made it out of the war zone together and you just cannot fathom why he didn’t try harder and you just don’t understand why you’re feeling what you’re feeling (and judging by dean’s reaction to sam’s suggestion, clearly it’s not survivor’s guilt)

dean’s FACE when cas suddenly appears behind him in the bathroom

jacting joices: the infamous boner scene (yet another example of “how do I know dean is in love with cas? bc sam isn’t”)

jacting joices pt 2: sam and dean are talking case and then cas walks over to join the conversation and there is literally no reason for dean to check cas out (see here)

during the rescue mission when cas zaps into the room and has a stand-off with crowley and then when dean finally manages to break into the room, can i just say... the way dean immediately rushes to cas (who’s ended up on the floor) and grabs him by the shoulder before he bothers to look around the room

D: “that was a bonehead move back there. you could have gotten yourself killed. why didn't you wait for me?” C: “well, i didn't get killed. and it worked” D: “and if it didn't?” C: “it would have been my problem.” D: “well, that's not the way i see it.”

the purgatory flashbacks when dean keeps insisting that cas is coming along with them back to earth and won’t hear otherwise

“i did everything I could to get you out – everything! i did not leave you.”  “so you think this was your fault?”

“look, I don't need to feel like hell for failing you, okay? for failing you like i've failed every other godforsaken thing that i care about! i don't need it!”

i know we hate buckleming but this episode, man. this episode

8x08 - Hunteri Heroici

i was gonna put this as a special shoutout but then it turned out that i had more to say about this ep than i initially thought

it’s the way dean and cas keep gravitating towards each other in the first half of the episode. no seriously, they somehow keep ending up beside each other and you start wondering “what’s personal space” (friendly reminder that this is the ep right after they’re finally back together again after purgatory)

the married energy and the bickering

the “talk to me” scene where cas finally opens up to dean (but then interrupting moose strikes)

at the retirement home dean to sam and cas: “no flirting you two” then CUT to: dean and cas sitting at a table with an elderly lady who is staring at cas with heart eyes and... lady: “you are so pretty, charles” dean: *must look at young nurse’s butt immediately to distract myself from gay thoughts*

i’m sorry but the way he smiles so widely at cas at one point when they’re talking to that lady, like, she’s just called cas a bounder and dean’s amused about that but his amusement is not in any way malicious and his face is just so full of love when he looks at Cas, it’s embarrassing really (see here)

9x06 - Heaven Can't Wait

ok so i haven’t watched this ep in like 5 years so my memories on this aren’t as fresh as with the previous eps but! it’s the way that cas and dean act exactly like exes (who are still in love with each other) in this ep

dean’s face as he’s staring at cas through the shop window

dean’s smile when he shows up inside the shop

the entire “i can’t let you do this cas” scene in the car

the infamous fanfiction gap

special shout out to:

5x18 - Point of No Return for all the bickering (“you know what? blow me, cas”) and especially  “well, cas, not for nothing, but the last person who looked at me like that… i got laid.”

6x10 - Caged Heat for the pizza man and dean’s reaction to all the megstiel (like jealous bf much?)

6x19 - Mommy Dearest for the strong married energy dean and cas give off in this ep (honestly, all their bickering, it’s glorious) (friendly reminder that this is right before tmwwbk) 

7x23 - Survival of the Fittest for the “i’d rather have you cursed or not” scene

8x02 - What's Up, Tiger Mommy? for the purgatory flashbaks with that one monster calling cas dean’s angel and the reunion scene by the river with highlights such as “nice peach fuzz” and “i prayed to you cas, every night” and “i have a price on my head, and i've been trying to stay one step ahead of them, to – to keep them away from you” and “cas, we're getting out of here. we're going home” and “cas, buddy, i need you” and “let me bottom-line it for you. i'm not leaving here without you. understand?”

8x17 - Goodybe Stranger for “i don't know, dean. if he's so sketchy, then why were you praying to him?” and the entire crypt scene (yes this is a big one and yes i’m still only putting it as a special shoutout and yes it’s bc of the megstiel content this ep ok bye <3)

[jazzypizzaz]

liiveblogging my every reaction to The Man Who Would be King cuz hey TGIF

“the way whatver’s going on with Cas has been alluded to in passing all season and now we get The STory ??? fuck, I take it back about dumb AUs, this is the best type of episode

one minute in and this is the MOST epic way to start any story

“I remember that fish” ok lmao

WHO IS HE TELLING THES TORY TO I NEED TO KNWO WHO

“cas you’ll call right... if you get into real trouble...” HELP pointed looks... dean worries. he does care cas he doesn’t Get It but he cares!!

DEAN CHANGED HIM HE OWES EVERYTHING IMPORTANT TO DEAN

the fact that cas raised dean from hell and that had such a Profound (positive) Impact on both him and the world, that he’s immediately all cocky like sure I’ll pull Sam out of hell next, no problemo... not the same buddy

Dean defending Cas and feeling bad about keeping their crowley hunt secret :-( he’s loyal to him

“he could make a mistake, he ‘s the Balki Bartokomous of angels” quick wiki of this and “ However, Larry soon realizes that for all of Balki's naivety and cultural malapropisms, he otherwise is a very intelligent and courageous man of many talents who often saves the day himself. “ awwww

“you think cas is in with CROWLEy?!” i meeeeean literaly everyone seems to be in with crowley at some point so like. stones and glass houses and whatever. every episode is you making a deal with evil people or whatnot it just happens

sam like “we’re all friends, i’d die for him i would, but” okay yeah sure it’s not the same tho!!!

CAS IS WATCHING THIS CONVO OMG I HAD TO PAUSE AND REWIND

i don’t udnerstand when demons eyes turn black instead of human-passing. only when the tv audience needs confirmation?

“i favor the eternal tuesday afternoon of an autistic man who drowned in a bathtub in 1953″ wow dang that’s like a whole sentence that cas said wasn’t it huh

ah SO MANY classic lines in this one A+++

is there literally anything going on in any of these angels’ heads. like. raphael wants to be in Power, ok sure, but Why. is there any reason whatsover. what does anyone want like actually

DEAN’S LOYALTY!!! ;_; ;_; ;_;

“cas is busy” “that’s okay we are too” jklfsdjlk classic ‘i texted my crush and they left me on read and now im pretending like I have an active life and im not just waiting by the phone for them to respond’

[this isn’t a good idea but] “on the other hand, they were my friends” this summarizes cas’ whole thing doesn’t it. everything :(

“i went to an old friend for help” uuhh you’re a million years old and you’ve only konwn him for like two?? does that count as an old friend. i mean. it sounds like he’s the ONLY friend you’ve ever had so :( it’s older than any other friendship of his :( :( :(

he doesn’t want to ask dean for anything more :-(

NONCONSESENtUAL LEAF RAKING

i’ve been wondering what humans have to do with anything wrt to Heaven cuz like. no one seems to care about humans, so why are tehy even there. what’s the point of it all. and this seems to say -- as batteries??? Souls are powerful and hte more souls you’ve got, the more power

what is the point of power if you dont’ want to do anything with it

(this isn’t about you Cas you’re doing beautiful sweetie, you want power for freedom, which is sexy, at least right now)

“TWO teen beat models” and Cas “No not Dean” jlkdfskjl sam’s fine then sure i See You buddy

the way Cas is always turning, looking away when he’s got something to say. his eyes. he’s very good at Looking Intentionally.

“you gotta look at me man” THEY SHARE A PRFOUND  BOND OKAY profound. i’ts profound.

“raphael will turn the world into a graveyard” BUT LIKE. WHYYY why would he do that. i dont’ remember or care but why.

FUCK LEAVES FLASHBACK WHERE WERE YOU HE WAS WATCHING THE RAKING shit

“i’m doing this for you dean” OK WHAT THE FUCK he just says that outloud

he called him Family :( :( :( oh buddy we’re in it now

dean is Against cas’s whatever cuz of Reasons that cas should subscribe to just cuz ?? demons bad blah blah blah trust blah blah idk BUT WHY THO

i guess my problem is i want demons to just be Funky Little Dudes causing problems for fun I guess. not ~~pure evil~~

Oohh hes talking to God, of course of course

sad cas is sad but also sad cas Good TV lkjdfs

[neven-ebrez]

1/2 Hello, always thank you for the reasonable posts! I just wanted to ask though if you also think that Dean and Cas are 'both' at faults and they 'both' need to be better? Cause I personally don't see what Cas has done wrong. Dean and Sam both knew about Jack's states, Sam stated that to Dean himself. And I also see opinions about how Cas is going behind the brothers back by not telling them about the empty deal he made and I feel like I missed something

½ cause it’s cas’s choice and has nothing to do with the brothers. Could you share your thoughts?

—

Hi there! Fair warning but this is long. Because apparently I’m just frustrated and angry enough about the comprehension fail of some fans here and I love Cas enough to go on this rant. With Dean and Cas I’m not talking about doing wrong necessarily in the moral sense but more in the narrative (drama creating) sense. It’s about an interesting story, yeah? 

In that one previous post with Dean and Cas’ issues I was not talking specifically about 14B til now. I’m talking about the history of how they interact with one another going all the way back to Cas refusing to tell Dean about everything with Raphael in S6 (the show revisits the Leviathan mistake in 15x03 with Belphegor trying to take in Hell souls to transform into God so this isn’t something the show has forgotten either since Chuck is still mentioning Leviathan as recently as two episodes ago) and recently emphasized by Dean not explaining to Cas in S13 what Cas’ death did to him. These two keep secrets from one another, perpetually. The biggest of which are heart secrets. The moment where Dean was raking leaves (fuck my whole life), Cas was right there, he could have figured things out with Dean, but instead Cas turned and went the other way in an effort to give Dean peace.

Cas serves Dean, from the moment he rebelled Cas started treated Dean like his new God. As an angel he’s quite literally built to serve “God”, both as a warrior and guardian, so much of that is in his “programming”. And angels aren’t meant to focus that devotion on one human, to filter that devotion in a human way while staying on Earth. As Dean laments in S6, it breaks them (and Dean’s ultimately wrong here, but his mindset here is important, even as S12 sees it start to change). 12x10 touches on this extensively as well with Ishim when we see his obsession with Lily and how it destroyed both of their lives. It’s learning to love PROPERLY without children suffering for it but I’M GETTING THERE! We see this issue displayed predominantly in Jack, product of a human and angel, as we are meant to question whether such a union is possible and, in fact, best. All this is more Destiel-ish but I don’t think you can talk about this subject without Destiel at this point. So here we are: Cas’ “MISTAKES”.

Back in 6x20 we see the root of the relationship’s communication problem. We see it develop and stagnate as the show faces infinite renewal. And it all boils down to Cas wanting to stay with Dean (“Most of the time I’d rather be here” and all), but feeling like if he does then he’ll be bringing all of Heaven’s/God’s problems with him to Dean. He sees Dean’s fated involvement (past and present) as unfair and so he tries to bring Dean peace and to keep all that stuff away from him as much as possible. But back then Cas didn’t know Dean as well as he does now. Cas liked an idea of Dean. That’s why he got so angry in 5x18 and beat the shit out of him in that alleyway. Cas does know Dean now tho. Things are very different, but somewhat the same as far as devotion goes. It’s faith and it’s love. Cas has always acted with Dean’s best interests at heart rather than maybe a situation’s best interest. Even solving Heaven’s problems later in S9 just became, for Cas, simply a way to make up for his actions in S6 and to STILL get angels in a place where he could again try and stay with Dean. If Cas is alive he’ll always try to both stay with Dean and to make up for the situation he feels he caused trying to do this the first time in S6.

That’s what all this has been about. Cas finding a way to stay beside Dean, but not at the expense it caused in S6. Somewhere along the way in S8 in Purgatory the guilt over how he burned everything he’s ever known for this slowly began to eat away at him, make him depressed to the point where he’s instead just happy now to die making Dean happy. Cas decided to sentence himself to his own personal Hell when he let go of Dean’s hand at the purgatory portal. How could he be allowed to be happy with Dean when so many of his kind, so many others, had to die for it? And the solution eluded Cas until… Jack. Cas’ “mistakes” against others (the biggest being the slaughter of most of his kind by his own hand) are rooted in his frustrations over being unable to simply stay with Dean (helping Dean vs helping others). And now we speed up to Jack era and S14/S15. Cas now sees Jack as his new God. He’s sees Jack as the way to make him staying with Dean happen without the cost Cas has previously paid. Cas thinks Jack will lead the Winchesters and humanity to a better world. Jack is literally the solution to all Cas’ problems in Cas’ mind. He sees the path with Jack as a union of the two things that have systematically driven his depression: choosing Dean’s happiness/life or the happiness/lives of others. Because given the choice Cas will choose Dean’s happiness over the world but with Jack Cas feels he doesn’t have to choose anymore. So Cas no longer sees Dean as his God to serve. Dean no longer creates the “problem” as well as functions as the “solution”. That gets to be Jack. But Cas still wants to be with him, wants Dean happy. This is plain when Cas puts himself between Dean and Jack in 14x20.

I think there’s a lesson here, in how you are not suppose to treat your children as something for yourself. John didn’t learn that. Chuck hasn’t learned that. Neither have Dean and Cas. Just look at the parents of Billy in 15x04. You can’t use your kids like that. It’s a hard lesson. It’s one of S15’s ultimate lesson tho I believe. It’s how Chuck will let go of the Winchesters (his children), in time. So yes. This is Cas’ biggest mistake with Jack. It’s what he’s ultimately “done wrong”. I’m off topic tho. I know. You’ve asked me about Dean and Cas’ recent issues and how they need to communicate better essentially. I can’t not talk about one without talking about the history here tho.

The Dean stans mad at Cas over what he’s done in the name of Dean’s own happiness just don’t care about seeing any of this, none of their complicated history together, as 4x22 and Cas’ decision to rebel for Dean specifically literally led to all this, everything that follows. This is what Sam’s S15 visions reveal (the importance of Cas reveling, being with them both), though not yet clearly defined in so many words (likely eventually by Sam). It’s like Dean stans and Cas haters see Dean and Cas in competition for a narrative arc or Sam’s place or something. This is the problem when you can’t value what the show values: found family. Family don’t end in blood. Maybe it needs to be put on some more merchandise or something because FUCKING HELL.

*takes a calming breath*

Dean and Cas are essentially the same damn person. They were raised under the same crappy absent father and fight their respective “programming” in order to find who they both are underneath when given a choice. And who they both are is in conflict against what God has decided they should both be (though God’s focus is more on Dean rather than Cas, with God having written off all the angels awhile ago). And so S15 brings us exactly here, to the nature of how Dean and Cas function to one another, want one another in the other’s lives and how they both need to explain this to one another clearly without bringing in anyone else (Sam or Jack) into their words to one another. And moreso, how it’s not just Dean and Cas together that produces a new world, but how Sam is also essential to this. 5x04 showed us what happens if Sam doesn’t stay. Remove Sam, Dean or Cas from one another and it all (a happy ending) falls apart. Jack is different because of Cas’ mistake in how he views him as glue to Dean (which isn’t Cas’ whole view but irrelevant). Removing Jack, and pulling Sam into a place of understanding concerning Dean and Cas, the shows forces Dean and Cas to ask themselves what they want from one another without the both of them there. Not that they have to live in a world like that necessarily, obviously, but it’s asking them to consider what their little world together would be like. Cas doesn’t see how he can stay under the baggage of his mistakes without the future Jack promises. Like in S8, he leaves Dean. This is where they will be forced to “do better” and express this desire to stay with each other without dragging poor Jack (or Sam) into the mix, without dragging anything else into the mix.

Dean and Cas refusing to admit why they want to stay with each other has lead to so many conflicts with other things, namely Heaven with Cas and what Dean did in 9x01 with Sam. In Carver era this is how the show begins to craft itself, showing how these three lives are forever connected, producing great misery when communication completely fails. Dean does drastic things to Sam to keep him with him whenever Cas leaves him. It used to be Dean only needed Sam and did drastic things to keep Sam with him because of John’s conditioning. Carver era changed that, structurally. Now, in Cas, it’s framed so that Dean has found a kindred spirit, one which would theoretically allow him to let Sam go if only Cas stayed with him. Because that was the ending Carver era was seemingly going for, or at least seriously considered. The child must be let go. Instead of Sam now, it feels like it is Jack (because Sam’s “call to action” in S15 is being framed more as he is an essential part of Dean and Cas reconciling). Both Jack and Sam have been in the child role to both Dean and Cas respectively at different points. And SPN has churned out 9 more seasons of drama based on these dynamics, this goal (sacrificing Sam) and lack of clear communication since S6. Having ran through as much as they feasibly could before Jack, Jack was created, essentially, to sustain these problems until we reached the end with the ultimate lesson that open communication literally solves everything. And also… he creates a situation where Sam doesn’t need to be sacrificed (but still could).

Not discussing the show structurally, and instead in a more character based psychological way, concerning Jack specifically TFW all knew his power and how living with him was always a risk. They each claimed Jack and undertook the risk, because they all saw themselves in Jack in some way and so decided since they all turned out okay then so would Jack. Because choices matter, the desire to be better, to fight for better, matters. Jack came into their lives and they rolled with it. All of TFW made that “mistake” taking in Jack. It’s not just on Cas and Sam spells that out to Dean and the audience quite clearly. Comprehension fails such as hating Cas on other fan’s part is something I feel S15 is trying very hard to point out. S15 discusses the narrative’s literal elements. It forces comprehension in a way that puts these fans that hate whatever character out of TFW in the wrong. You like Dean and Cas but want Sam gone? You’re in the wrong according to the show. Same thing for fans that want Sam and Dean together and for Cas to stay dead. With S15 the show is telling you to GET FUCKED but like… politely and for now, only visually, lol.

As far as the Empty deal goes (are Dean stans seriously mad Cas hasn’t told Dean?), the show IMO couldn’t outline Cas’ depression even harder if it fucking tried. But apparently for them they need to try harder? I just can’t with this. What an insult to writers which have handled this particular storyline with the utmost care. OH BOY. Part of outlining the EXACT problem here is that part of the solution is with it so instead they’ve just gone as far as they can instead. 13x04 was as far as they could fucking go with TIPTOEING around (the tulips with) this thing between Dean and Cas that is keeping Cas miserable and wishing for death in service of some other happiness for Dean (as if it ACTUALLY exists without Cas, it doesn’t). Cas has made peace with never telling Dean he’s in love with him. Before he was given a choice Cas was happy to simply remove himself from the equation (14x08) and leave Jack to bring Dean happiness without him. Because AGAIN! Communication! Cas getting taken by the Empty isn’t going to cause anything horrible to happen to the world (on a global scale). He’s just gonna be gone. Are Dean stans really saying, essentially, “How dare Cas not try to stay as tool for Dean”?? Like… what??? I honestly stopped reading people with this level of reading comprehension fail a long time ago and just started ignoring them for the lost causes they are. Telling Dean about the Empty deal would force Dean to reveal himself one way or another. And as I’ve just said, in perpetuity this is the storyline conflict that has kept SPN going for many years now. It’s something Cas wants to avoid as long as possible because he’s so in love that he’ll keep himself miserable and in suspense because being miserable with Dean is still him physically with Dean. Once Dean knows they’d have to face the truth together, whatever that is. That’s the only thing not telling Dean about the deal prevents. Some people just see it as Cas keeping more secrets but it’s not like what secrets were like in S6. The only one Cas would be effecting (to HIM, in HIS MIND) is himself. And what he can do for Dean versus what Cas sees Jack being able to accomplish for Dean? Well to Cas that’s no contest. Because he’s long made peace with being Dean’s tool because he doesn’t think he could ever be someone Dean chooses to love and keep for no reason other than Dean wants him with him. Cas being able to stop seeing him and Jack as tools is essential to whatever comes next. It’s an explanation, a comprehension problem left to Dean then later, concerning how Cas sees Jack, to Cas.

[mittensmorgul]

Flee or Die

yes, I’m watching the end of s6. Again. And I’m suffering. Again.

When will I ever learn?

We don’t talk about s6 because daaaaamn it’s the most painful thing in the history of ever. Instead of subjecting tumblr to a long series of largely redundant screeching agony (because I have screeched all this agony at tumblr before), I’ve been yelling it all directly at @shixpe and @elizabethrobertajones. Thanks for tolerating my nonsense. :P

*ETA: Okay, I said I wasn’t gonna subject anyone to my s6-related ravings, and then I went and wrote a few thousand words raving over s6 anyway... so I guess I should put it under a cut... Seriously, flee or join me in death. You’ve been warned :P

I am just suffering and trying not to write shouty posts about betrayal and temptation, and how crowley so thoroughly played the role of Devil On Cas's Shoulder all through s6 all because Cas felt the need to protect Dean, rather than letting Dean play Angel On His Other Shoulder. s6 is terrible

elizabethrobertajones yeah :( no one had a good year :P mittensmorgul no. :(

mittensmorgul gah, s6 is like one long burning bridge

mittensmorgul we go from Dean asking Cas to erase him from Lisa and Ben's memories, right to Sam having lost all his memories (again, because of Cas breaking his wall), and then when Cas finally comes back in 7.17, it's without his memories...

Sera Gamble has an amnesia fetish heck even at the beginning of s6, Dean's the one who doesn't know what's what, but only because he'd been deliberately left out of the loop by the end of the season, he's the ONLY one who seems to know what's what mittensmorgul Gah and 6.22 metaphorically shatters Dean's soul as much as Sam's literally...

WHY DO I KEEP WATCHING THIS NONSENSE OVER AND OVER AGAIN?!

shixpe Srsly tho I love imagining Cas' thoughts like yes I like this firey human XD

mittensmorgul YES THANKS AND NOW I'M HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER THIS BECAUSE I JUST WATCHED 6.20 AND CAS LITERALLY DID ALL OF THAT FOR DEAN... LIKE ALL OF S6 WAS ///FOR DEAN/// BECAUSE OF THAT ONE MOMENT WATCHING DEAN RAKE LEAVES AND HE'S WILLING TO BURN HIMSELF DOWN TO PROTECT THAT FIERY HUMAN THAT ONE SQUISHY LIL GUY WHO SHOWED HIM HOW TO DEFY DESTINY AND HOW TO HUMAN GAAAAHHHHHHHH *insert the This Is Fine.jpg here*

mittensmorgul thank you for letting me all-caps that directly at you instead of making yet another end-of-s6 all caps shouty post about it :P

shixpe kwahahahaha Cas' tombstone:  ////For Dean////

mittensmorgul UGH. YES. LITERALLY. *cries*

shixpe rofl if asked what Sam and Dean's tombstones would say id hope one of them say "Hell Stinks More Now"

mittensmorgul "Wow, we finally died long enough to get tombstones? Incredible."

shixpe >incredible<

There is ***nothing*** here to suggest that Cas was in any way ***right*** in his choices. The entire narrative condemns him. It’s Cas’s betrayal that metaphorically burns everything down, that “shatters Dean’s soul” metaphorically, and literally crushes Baby, breaks Sam’s wall and literally shatters Sam’s soul into pieces, all the while Cas does his best to prevent Crowley from “cashing in” on their Deal and claiming any of Purgatory’s power for himself.

Flee, or die.

Crowley’s motive all along had been securing his position as King of Hell, and now post 12.12 we have a much clearer insight into his motives, knowing how he earned the job in the first place. So when Cas betrayed him on their deal, he went to the “enemy,” attempting to use Raphael the same way he’d attempted to use Cas all along... to secure his personal power base, potential apocalypse under a godlike Raphael be damned...

Crowley perched on Cas’s shoulder all season long, manipulating him right from the start (that we only see the full scope of in 6.20, so it loses much of its impact early in the season, until we rewatch it a time or 47...).

6.19:  Crowley: Really, Cas? This is getting ridiculous. How many times am I gonna have to clean up your messes?

6.20: 

DEAN No, you had a choice. You just made the wrong one. CASTIEL You don't understand. It's complicated. DEAN No, actually, it's not, and you know that. Why else would you keep this whole thing a secret, huh, unless you knew that it was wrong? When crap like this comes around, we deal with it... Like we always have. What we don't do is we don't go out and make another deal with the Devil! CASTIEL It sounds so simple when you say it like that. Where were you when I needed to hear it?

(flashback to Crowley smirking as Cas reluctantly turns his back on Dean raking leaves)

or maybe

CASTIEL If you touch the Winchesters... CROWLEY Please. I heard you the first time. I promise -- nary a hair on their artfully tousled heads. Besides, I think they've proven my point for me. It's always your friends, isn't it, in the end? We try to change. We try to improve ourselves. It's always our friends who got to claw into our sides and hold us back. But you know what I see here? The new God (pointing at Castiel) and the new Devil, working together. CASTIEL Enough. Stop talking. And get out of my sight. CROWLEY Well...Glad I came. You're welcome, by the way. (Crowley heads for the door) You know the difference between you and me? I know what I am. What are you, Castiel? What exactly are you willing to do?

6.21: Crowley lives up to the letter of his bargain while violating the spirit of it, taking Winchester-adjacent loved ones in order to manipulate them... But honestly everyone and their uncle should’ve seen this blatant betrayal coming five miles off. This is Crowley’s standard s6 MO. I mean, did we forget how Crowley promised to return Bobby’s soul after Bobby “loaned” it to him to find Death in 5.21? This was the entire point of 6.04, the lengths Bobby had to go to in order to out-manipulate Crowley and reclaim his soul (which we only find out in 8.19 that Crowley still wrangled into Hell anyway, because that’s the kind of vindictiveness Crowley was capable of back then...).

Not only that, but his ~entire~ deal with Cas was founded on the single stone of Anything But Dean.

CROWLEY We'll need expert help. CASTIEL From whom? CROWLEY From experts, of course. I know of two eerily suited 'Teen Beat' models with time on their hands. CASTIEL No. Not Dean. He's retired, and he's to stay that way. CROWLEY Fine. Then I know of a certain big, bald patriarch I can take off the bench. The point is...They can get us to the monsters. The monsters can get us to Purgatory. I know it.

Not Sam, not Bobby... just Dean. I mean, Cas literally pulled Sam out of the cage for this.

Also, remember back in 6.01 when Dean was first confronted with Samuel’s mysterious resurrection, and this was Samuel’s working theory:

Samuel: We're guessing whatever pulled Sam up pulled me down. So, whatever this is, we're both a part of it.

Doncha just love Samuel’s presumption that he’d been in Heaven before, when Crowley essentially makes it clear that he’d been in Hell all along in 6.20?

Anyway, back to the point. (no i lied, I don’t actually have a point, other than my need to wallow in the fact that s6 was awful for everyone.)

Sam spent half the season soulless. He spent the rest of it struggling with that fact and the repercussions of the terrible things he did without his soul to talk him out of stuff.

Dean spent the early part of the season regretting all of his life choices, and the end of the season paying for all his life choices. I mean, he was left entirely out of the year-long setup to all this trauma, ostensibly to “protect” him and let him be “happy.” And it was never truly happy for him (which he states unequivocally multiple times in 6.01). In the end, he wasn’t even allowed to keep the illusion of happiness. Everything Cas had tried to protect him from ended up landing directly in his lap anyway, and the very act of Cas trying to let him have his “retirement” was what eventually lit the fuse and detonated any possibility of Dean ever having that illusory “white picket fence.”

Because that was never what Dean wanted anyway, but the fact he was pushed into building it only to have to watch it all burn just seems cruel...

Meanwhile, that one act for Cas, letting Crowley lure him away with the promise to stop Raphael without ever having to bring Dean into danger, nearly costs Dean his life several times over.

Dean was unprepared for the Djinn attack in 6.01 (nearly died! but some of his friends and neighbors DID die because of it, and he blamed HIMSELF for it!)

We see the early (sans context) machinations of Crowley’s influence over the Campbells and the hunt for all the Alphas. Dean’s nearly done in by the Alpha Shapeshifter, who we later see Crowley torturing for info on Purgatory.

Dean was turned into a vampire because Soulless!Sam didn’t care and thought it would be an effective way to complete their hunt

Dean’s manipulated into working directly for Crowley ANYWAY via Sam’s connection with Samuel, which Crowley quickly capitalizes on...

Dean’s nearly fed to ghouls by Samuel when he gets too close to Crowley’s Alpha Capturing Operation... which only draws Cas deeper into the lies and manipulation, and further from Dean

Balthazar is unwittingly drawn into Cas’s side-plans to generate additional souls, possibly to “pay back” Crowley for that initial loan of 50k souls (as described in 6.20), when he un-sinks the Titanic and generates-- shocker-- 50k souls in the process... that seems like a remarkable coincidence...

I mean, Balthy was originally brought into Cas’s confidence under the pretense of using the stolen Weapons of Heaven in his fight against Raphael. But after 6.15, it’s clear that even with those weapons, Cas is no match for Raphael, and the threat is only enough to get Raphael to back off for now. The one weapon we did see Balthy use against him in 6.03 only destroyed Raphael’s vessel, after all... 

Dean and Sam both almost got abandoned in 1861 while trying to find a way to defeat a problem that arose DIRECTLY from Cas and Crowley’s meddling with the monsters all season long... Eve only came onto the scene BECAUSE OF THEIR SYSTEMATIC ATTACK ON HER MONSTER CHILDREN. And then if that’s not enough, the reason Cas almost couldn’t bring them back was because Rachel discovered Cas’s true plans and called him out on his deception and betrayal. Again, Bobby had to “pay the price” for it all with the “soulonoscopy” to boost Cas’s power.

Dean LITERALLY got bit defeating Eve, and LITERALLY his own blood was the poison that got her... again, because Cas had LITERALLY been “depowered” as a direct result of his own actions...

Then when Cas finally gets his hands on the power he felt he had “no other choice” than to grab for himself, it overrides everything Cas had been fighting for all along. The entire purpose of his sacrifice had been to keep Dean safe, and then the final line of 6.22 renders all of that moot:

“I'm your new God. A better one. So you will bow down and profess your love unto me, your Lord. Or I shall destroy you.“

Thanks, s6. I feel sufficiently destroyed. :P

And that’s what I meant by my comment way back up there somewhere that s6 was basically one long, drawn out burning bridge. It hurrrrrrts. And it’s not until 7.17 that they start building a new bridge. It’s still under construction, and it’s wobbled threateningly a few times since, but it’s still standing. It just hurts every time I rewatch s6, every single time.