#why is Sam coming to his house tho huh GAY

[squashberri-art]

Idk how Sam puts up with his shit sometimes

[casmybelovedass]

The Destiel Folder: Season 6

[Season 4; Season 5] Man, this season... an emotional rollercoaster

Episode 3:

Cas admits he and Dean "share a more profound bond." (15:35) uuuhmm okay

"You think I came because you called?" (16:31) cut to "I always come when you call" later on in E21

"When a claim is laid on a living sould, it leaves a mark, a brand." ... like a handprint maybe? (22:33) Cas basically called dibs on Dean and admits it

Dean, I get it, Cas looks hot when he fights, but you don't have to look at him like this (24:42)

The amount of eye-fucking in this scene (25:56) almost 30 seconds (of Dean checking out Cas) of Old married coupleTM moments. Dean is worried about Cas dying again by the hands of an archangel. He just got attacked and wants to go out. But Cas has to go save the universe from a holy war. Basically a wife asking her soldier husband not to leave for the war.

[(26:28-26:30) Dean was totally looking at the BOOTY]

NOW FOR THE JUICY STUFF: Cas and Balthazar obviously had a history. More than brothers or war buddies. We could parallel them to Dean and Lisa: both old flames coming back after a long time and all.

Also, Balthazar can sense something is going on between Cas and Dean. It's so clear he can (35:26). ICWAW, we would assume Balthazar was an ex, getting jealous over Cas' new love interest

Episode 6:

"You asked me to be here, and I came", OH what about the whole 'I don't come because you call' thing? (13:40)

How domestic is this moment. Cas pouring Dean a drink, trying to comfort him (14:03). He hates seeing Dean like this, and hates even more the fact he can't do anything about it

Cas knows Dean is hurt enough already, and doesn't want to get him involved with a war that's not his to fight (14:20), but still wants to help

Episode 7:

Second time Cas starts stripping in front of Dean and he just stares (2:32)

Look, all I'm saying is... they really don't have to stand THAT CLOSE to each other (4:07)

Episode 9:

[Not a destiel moment but Dean struggling to say the words "gay guy" is too fucking funny to me (33:45)]

Episode 10:

Dean, will you not check out the angel in front of your brother, please? (11:54)

Dean is visibly uncomfortable at Cas watching porn practically NEXT to him, and having a BONER practically next to him. Understandable, but still... kinda gay (15:58) Look at Dean's face, my God (16:07)

[I'm screaming Dean looks like he's wondering what it'd be like to kiss Cas (25:29)]

"CAS?!" (26:23) the way Dean gets progressively more worried about Cas fading/being taken away and shit, kills me

[Cas is so fucking confused as to why Dean would suggest he'd let him have an hour alone with Meg (39:25), either that or he's embarrassed he might've actually wanted to. Meg and Castiel were cute together]

"If there's anything we can do-" "There isn't. I wish circumstances were different. *stares at Dean with puppy eyes* Much of the time, I'd rather be here." (39:46)

Also, Dean stares at Cas for 15 seconds, but averts his eyes when saying "We're your friends"? (40:01) Denial? Something's off. ICWAW, this would indicate tension, unspoken feelings

Just... the way Dean looks at Cas, and when he flies away (40:17) HIS EYES

Episode 11:

Balth jokingly calls Cas Sam's 'boyfriend', and Sam reacts normally, letting it fly over his head. When later in episode 17, Balth calls Cas "the angel in the dirty trench coat who's in love with you", Dean gets pissy. Just like later in 10x5. Touchy much? (13:48)

Balth admits he doesn't like Dean, and that "screwing him would delight me", but calls the one brother who threatened to crisp his wings, a "capable young man" (14:46). Jealous much? ICWAW we would read some sort of romantic rivalry between those two.

Episode 14:

This face... where have I seen this face before?

Oh yes, here

Dean looks at Lisa, the so called "love of his life", the same way he looks at Cas. Fuck my life

Episode 15:

"Cas" (Misha) starts stripping and Dean... stares... again (9:23)

"Well, Cas... now that you have your sword, try not to die by it." (39:53) Is it a saying? Or a reference to Dean being Michael's Sword? As in "He is gonna be the death of you"? And Balth looks at Cas THAT WAY?! (40:01) You can't tell me there was nothing between these two. Kill me now

Fucking stop being an old bitching married coupleTM already (40:25) you are hurting me

Episode 17:

Balth 'jokes' about Cas being in love with Dean (18:48) ICWAW we would read this as an ex being petty about the new love interest and teasing said love interest about it

Wow, jealous much, Dean? Again, ICWAW, this would totally be seen as jealousy for your crush's ex (27:30). And Dean, you're staring at Cas' lips again (27:37)

[Sam: "So, you killed 50,000 people for us?" Cas: *looks at Dean* "... No, I didn't... They were never born." (37:49) This is so stupid, but... sure, Cas... sure. That's what you ment.]

Cas makes a small speech about fighting for freedom, choosing your fate and all, while looking at Dean (38:55). OKAY SUBTEXT!!!

[As soon as Dean mentions boobs, Cas is gone (39:36) LOL]

Episode 19:

"It's not like Cas lives in my ass. The dude's busy. [...] Cas, get out of my ass!!!" "I was never in... your-" (4:28) and then they stare... Were you having unholy thoughts guys?

"Without your power you're basically just a baby in a trench coat" #MARRIED (10:38), "My friend is very sick." "I have a, uh... painful burning sensation." OH COME ON!!! (11:22)

"You know who whines? Babies. *pats Castiel*" (14:28) I'm sorry, pats him wHERE??!!

Dean saves Cas again (19:38)

The way Cas says "Dean, Dean!" (23:09)... I'm so fucking weak, and look at those EYES! (23:41) kill me now

"The kid... The little kid, he's one of them." "... Unbelievable." "Yeah, I know, Cas. You told me, all right?" (37:48) #MARRIED

Sam and Bobby immediately think Cas might be betraying them (39:31), while Dean won't even immagine the possibility. "This is Cas we're talking about!" (39:52)

Episode 20:

Even tho Dean can sense something is off with Cas, he won't bring himself to admit it. And the eye-car-sex. That. (4:44-4:53)

"You're distracted. [...] Is that all you're holding, huh? See... the stench of that Impala's all over your overcoat, angel." (6:20) this has such sexual undertones. ICWAW, it would be MENT as having sexual undertones. Also Crowley ships it

Dean protects Cas even tho clear evidence is there, and even feels bad about lying to him (12:06). And Cas feels oh so bad about Dean trying to be loyal to him, even when he was starting to suspect (13:18)

Dean still refuses to acknowledge the possibility of Cas' betrayal (19:56). His speech about Cas... I'm weak. "He broke ranks, gone to the mat, cut and bleeding for us, so many frigging times. This is Cas!" (20:10). ICWAW, this would be read as Dean having feelings for Cas, and as those feelings were getting in the way of his best judgment

Cas goes against the King of Hell to save the boys... but Dean first (21:48), and Dean defendes him against Bobby and Sam, apologizing for doubting about him. Cas hates having to break their trust

The look on Dean's face as he realizes Cas had been lying the whole time... BROKEN (23:35-23:49)

Cas doesn't want Dean to have to sacrifice more than he already had for him (25:19), and when Crowley shows up, Cas' first instinct is to look back at Dean protectively (25:30), and does that again before following Crowley (26:17)

Cas wants Dean to be happy, stay retired, even tho he was so longingly looking at him moments earlier (29:09)

"You gotta look at me, man. [...] Look me in the eye and tell me you're not working with Crowley." (32:38) the absolute desperation in both Dean and Cas, how HURT they look. THEIR EYES! Dean looks devastated

"I did it to protect you, I did it to protect all of you!" (33:09) one of the many "you, all of you" no-homo saves Cas pulls while talking to/about Dean

"I had no choice!" "No, you had a choice... You just made the wrong one." (34:21) how fucking hurt Dean looks. "Where were you when I needed to hear it?" THE EYES

"I was there... Where were you? *flashback to Cas looking back at Dean*" I'M DEAD

"It's not too late. Damn it, Cas. We can fix this!" "Run. You have to run, now. RUN!" (35:33) and they do, but Dean looks back at Cas, and the way they look at each other... STOP (35:47-35:52) ICWAW, this whole scene would seem like someone trying to save their loved one, and OH boy, that stare exchange would seem either a silent confession or a reminder of their feelings for the other

Cas visits Dean in the night, even tho they clearly don't trust him and don't want him there, and Dean leaves it be (38:06), and even apologizes for having to angel-proof the house against him

#MARRIED (38:28), "I'm doing this for you, Dean. I'm doing this because of you." (38:35) ICWAW... do I even need to point this out?

"Next to Sam, you and Bobby are the closest thing I have to family..." the look on Cas' face as Dean says this (39:15) "... that you are like a brother to me." did Cas' eyes just get more glossy? Poor baby. Also, ICWAW, by the way they interact, this statement would feel wrong on so many levels

"You're just a man. I'm an angel." ... why does it feel like Cas is telling that to himself more than to Dean? (39:43) "I'm sorry, Dean." (39:55) Kill me

Cas questions his decisions, asks God for guidance, the moment he understood he hurt Dean. He doesn't want to hurt Dean, but will do what he has to do to if it means he will be safe

Episode 21:

[Not a destiel moment, but "fragile masculinity" much, Dean? (4:20) "I was too busy having sex with women." (why do you feel the need to specify 'women'?)]

This Dean-Balth bickering has such current-former love interest fight vibes (8:52). Come on, ICWAW, this would totally be the case

Here's another Cas/Lisa parallel: how Dean acts here, looking for Ben and Lisa (13:11), and how he acts in S8 while looking for Castiel ("WHERE'S THE ANGEL!?")

Cas saves Dean again (21:46). "I didn't ask for your help." "Well, regardless. You're welcome." #MARRIED

They are both on the verge of tears... "I thought you said that we were like family." (22:22) They hate this situation. They hate not being like always, close, friendly, family

"Dean... I do everything that you ask... I always come when you call. And I am your friend." (22:39) the way he says 'Dean' and how his voice trembles. Dean is basically almost crying now (23:45)

"Dean, I said I'm sorry and I ment it." "Thank you... I wish this changed anything..." "I know.. So do I." (37:45)

[Alright. I do believe Dean really grew to love Lisa during that year they spent together, but I don't buy the "I always loved you, ever since that one hook up on that one weekend we knew each other for" shit. Dean wanted to give a try to the whole 'apple pie life' he'd promised Sam, with a good woman he knew Dean had feelings for.

If he grew to love Lisa over a couple of years after 1 hook up, I'm sure he could do the same thing for Cas after over a decade (he for sure would have already If Cas Were A Woman)]

Episode 22:

["You've always got little old me." "Yes... I'll always have you." (30:26) These two... Come on, they HAD to be ex lovers!]

"We were family once. I'd have died for you. I almost did a few times (Cas did actually, twice). So if that means anything to you... Please... I've lost Lisa, I've lost Ben, and now I've lost Sam... Don't make me lose you too." (39:55) ICWAW, this would be seen as a straight up CONFESSION

The hurtful look on Dean's face when Cas says "You're not my family, Dean.", and the terror when he thought for a second that Sam might have killed him (40:39)

["You will bow down and profess your love unto me, your Lord... or I shall destroy you." ... okay, Cas, honey, I get you are tired of waiting, but this is not the right way to get a confession out of Dean (41:20)]

[Season 7>>]

[ashthatdrmmrgrl]

ANSWER ALL THEM YOU BITCH👩‍💻🤪

Ooh she's getting fiesty 😈😂 here you are, love ❤

1. What is your preferred place to write?

Laptop/computer, but since I dont have either anymore, my phone is my go to

2. When did you start writing?

I think it was 8th grade offically; my english teacher got me into reading and writing so that was the 2013/2014 school year I think

3. Favourite thing to write?

Idk, I like writing gay smut if that counts for something 🤷‍♀️

4. Fluff or angst?

I'm good at writing fluff but I love reading angsty stuff

6. Where do you usually find inspiration?

Ideas come to me in dreams, otherwise if I'm watching a movie/TV, listening to music, or just seeing something during the day will spark something.

7. Do you listen to music to help you write?

Yes! I would get soooo distracted if I didn't; that way I dont hear anything outside my head and I can focus on my writing (I'm listening to music now as I'm answering these too actually 😂)

8. What's the biggest "challenge" for you as a writer?

Finding time to write at all; I've got so many ideas bopping around in my head but life gets in the way 😭😭

9. Where do you usually go to write?

My room usually; it gives me privacy and a lot less distractions than my living room or outside the house.

10. Can you give us a sneak peek at your current WIP?

Yes!! I love this scene so much so you get to read it again;

My phone buzzed in my hands and I look down to see Sofia's face smiling at me. I pause my music and pull my earbuds out. 

"The Kid's calling," I say aloud before answering. "Hey, Fi!" 

"Hey yourself, is Steve available? I've got history questions that I need help with and he's not answering his phone."

I roll my eyes but put the phone on speaker. "Steve, Fi needs help with her homework."

"What's up, kiddo?" Steve asks, keeping his eyes on the road. 

"Stupid history homework; about the Commandos and I thought, 'what better way to finish this then get it straight from the source, old man," Sofia says. Sam lets out a small laugh and Bucky shifts awkwardly beside me. 

"Alright, shoot," Steve says with a shake of his head. 

"Original 7 members? I only know 3 of them off hand," Sofia starts.

"Easy, Me, Buck, Dum Dum, Morita, Jones, Monty, and Frenchy," Steve says casually. There's a pause before Sofia's sigh echoes through the car. 

"I don't think my teacher would appreciate it if I put their names in as if we were best friends," Sofia says offhandedly.

Steve cleats his throat awkwardly. "Right. Uh, Steve Rogers, James Barnes, Timothy Dugan, Jim Morita, Gabriel Jones, James Montgomery Falsworth, and Jacques Dernier," Steve reiterates after Sofia's let's out little "uh huhs."

"Why were the Howling Commandos formed?" Sofia asks next. 

"To eliminate and wipe HYDRA bases off the map; although it seems we weren't very successful," Steve says with a frown and I see his eyes flash towards the rear view mirror, to look at Bucky, I'm assuming.

"Who did the Commandos capture during a raid in the Alps?" 

"Arnim Zola." 

There was a pause and I couldn't help but look over at Bucky who almost looked startled that he had spoken.

"Who was that?" Sofia asks a moment later. 

"Oh, uh, Sofia, that was Bucky," I say, my voice cracking at his name. Sofia stays quiet. I check my phone and see the phone was still connected. 

"Bucky?" Sofia asks, sounding doubtful.  "As in Stevie's Bucky?" 

I feel Bucky almost stiffen in surprise next to me. "Yeah, that would be him," I confirm. 

Sofia stays quiet for a few beats again before clearing her throat. "Right, well when do you think you guys are gonna be home? I hate all of this cooking I've gotta do now that you guys are gone, not that either of you were chef's," Sofia complains. 

"I'm not sure, kiddo," Steve chirps from in front of me. I lean my elbows onto the front seat and rest my head near his shoulder. "We've got something really important to take care of." 

"Okay, well stay safe, and don't do anything stupid; Sam, keep them in line," Sofia says with a laugh.

"Will do, Half Pint," Sam promises.

"Well, I'll talk to you guys later. And it was nice to meet you Bucky," she says. 

Bucky doesn't respond, but the rest of us say goodbye before I hang up. 

"Thanks, Steve," I say, clapping my hands over Steve's shoulders. 

"Anytime; I don't mind helping the kid out," Steve says. 

I ruffle Steve's hair before leaning back and laughing. Bucky was looking between Steve and I with confusion written all over his face.

"So the kid?" Bucky asks, his eyes resting on Steve for a moment before looking at me.

"Yeah, she's great," Steve says excitedly and flashes Bucky a smile. 

"She's my sister," I say and look down to see Sofia had texted me. 

I forgot to ask while on the phone but could you ask Steve if I can look through some of his stuff that the museum let him have back?

"Hey Steve, can she look through the stuff the Smithsonian gave back to you? She didn't say what for though," I ask. 

"Yeah, no problem, tell her I've got stuff in the chest at the end of the bed."

"Cool cool, thanks," I say and pass the information onto Sofia. 

"Not a problem," Steve says as he takes the off ramp and turns left. "Sharon's just up here," he points out a black car that was pulled over under the bridge. 

Steve pulls over and ducks out of the car and greets Sharon with a smile. 

Bucky sits up and looks out the front window, eyes flickering across the background, scanning the surrounding area. Bucky's knees hit the back of Sam's seat and he glares at the back of Sam's head. 

"Can you move your seat up?" He asks for probably the 100th time this trip, sounding bored.

"No," Sam replies once again. 

I roll my eyes and squish myself against the window. "Scoot over here more," I offer, pointing towards the leg room that I've got behind Steve's seat. 

"Thanks," Bucky mumbles and scoots over so his arm is pressed against mine. It was quiet while we watched Steve and Sharon talk as she popped her trunk. "So," Bucky starts quietly, trying to exclude Sam from the conversation. "How long have you and Steve been together?" 

Sam, of course, hears and snorts out a laugh, having to hold onto the door for support. 

I felt my face flush and I reach over the seat to smack Sam across the side of his head. "Shut up, bird brain. Steve and I aren't together though," I say, turning to look at Bucky who looked embarrassed. 

"Sorry, I just assumed…" Bucky apologizes. 

"Nah, it's okay, everyone apparently thinks the same thing," I say with a shrug. "Steve's like a brother to me. Plus right now he's not swinging this way."

Bucky's eyebrows shoot up as he looks at me with wide eyes. "So like, he's..?"

"Gay? Yeah, basically. He still likes women, but he's actually with my brother, Graham," I say, pulling up a picture of Graham, Steve, Sofia, and I on my phone. Tony insisted on us having more family pictures even though we were the least conventional family on the planet.

"So being… a homosexual," Bucky says, almost sounding like the term was weird coming off his tongue. "That's openly okay now? I don't mind, but the 30s really pressed people down, so I didn't think Steve… at least I think, from what I remember," Bucky trails off and looks out to see Steve giving Sharon a hug before grabbing the gear from the trunk. 

"He was hard on himself at first," I say, remembering how weird Steve would act whenever Graham would say something to try and test the waters. "I think knowing and befriending Graham really helped him a lot, seeing that it's not a mental illness, that you wouldn't be imprisoned or institutionalized for it."

Bucky still looks at Steve, but there was a small smile crooked at the corner of his mouth and his eyes seemed fond. 

"I'm happy for him," is all Bucky says in reply.  

"So am I," I say, patting Bucky's forearm with my hand. "So am I." 

11. How many stories have you written so far?

Well I've only ever completed 1, (excluding oneshots) but I've got... at leave 7 going, a few that I've discontinued, and a shit ton of ideas that haven't been written yet 😂

12. What's your favourite thing that you ever wrote?

Well I'm honestly so proud of my Beauty and the Beast Lashton fanfic that I wrote and the only one I've ever finished. But I'm also sooo proud of 2 WIPs that I'm writing with the lovely asker

13. How many chapters does your longest series have?

I dont have any series yet, but my longest fic has like 200,000 words and no distinctive chapters yet (writing specific scenes then gluing them together)

14. What's your favourite character/person to write for?

I only really write Lashton or Stucky but I'm my cowritten books I have an OC be with Ashton Irwin and Bucky Barnes because DAMN they are kweens

15. "OCs" or "Reader" inserts?

I personally like writing OCs but I've been getting into readers lately

16. Can you tell us anything about your current WIP?

I suppose, but asker already knows since she's helping me write it 😂 it's a Marvel fic about these two girls and their brother who lose their parents in the Battle of New York in 2012. Brother is working for Stark Industries already when Steve asks my OC to join the Avengers but my OC and her brother keep that a secret from their younger sister (my friends OC). That's enough for now tho 😘

17. How long was the longest fic you ever wrote?

Question 13 kinda answered this question but its 200,000ish and growing

18. What fandoms do you write for?

Marvel and 5sos mainly, but I used to do Supernatural back in like 2015/2016. I also dabble in Shadowhunter stuff too

19. What is/are your favourite fandom author/authors?

Well the asker is such an amazing writer I love her work, um, @Larry_Lashton on Wattpad is good, @moonstruckbucky and @sunmoonandbucky are phenomenal

20. Have you ever written an AU?

That's basically all I write; I've only got one original piece and not many are real to whatever reality.

21. What is your favourite AU trope?

I have a weakness for Professor Seb/Bucky and I love stucky (and StuckyxReaders) so if you know of any hmu 😉

22. A fanfiction trope you can't help but love?

ENEMIES TO LOVERS FUCK

23. For how long have you been a fandom writer?

Shortly after I started writing, so like 2015?

24. Have you ever had an idea for a story and forgot about it?

Absolutely! I usually loosely plot out the whole thing and try and hit the main points but by like... 1/4 or 1/2 way through depending on how long it is I'm like fuck I totally forgot I was going to add that (and by then it wouldn't make sense to add it in)

25. What do you do to motivate yourself to write?

Listen to music, but I also read what I've got to help myself get back into the flow of the story.

26. How did you find out you like to write?

Like I said it was 8th grade and my english teacher showed me this new side of reading that I didnt know about and then I was like fuck I can do this too!

27. Are there any writers (fanfiction writers or not) that have inspired you to start writing?

Well I used to only read the Twilight series, but then I read Cassandra Clare's books, and the it sorta branched out from there, so Stephanie Meyer and Cassandra Clare are who you should thank for that 😂

28. What's your favourite fandom to write for?

Does Stucky count as it's own fandom? Because that ship sails itself man #ExceptEndgame #FuckingSucked

29. Describe your style in three words.

Um... smutty... gay.... fluffy?

30. What would you say is the most "famous" fic you've ever written?

Well I've got one on Wattpad with almost 20k but it's a continuation of a story that has like 300k, otherwise most of my other ones on there have 4k actually.

31. Blurbs or drabbles?

Both are great, dudes 🤷‍♀️

32. Have you ever written smut?

33. How long does it usually take you to write?

Used to be I could get like 20 chapters (decently long ones too) in about 8 months but now I'm not really posting anything and I'm slowly working on a current WIP

34. What's your favourite font to use when writing?

Ariel, size 11, 1.15 line spacing. Veranda is a nice font too though

35. What do you prefer to write: longer or shorter fics?

I like long ones man; but I either write forever long ones or oneshots 😂

36. How do you keep yourself inspired? Seeing new things, listening to new music. Sleeping?

37. Have you ever written something you didn't like but posted it anyway?

I don't think so. I mean I've posted stuff that I wasn't excited about, but I don't think I've ever hated anything I've written

38. What's your "strong suit" as a writer?

My OCD with punctuation and formatting?

39. What's your favourite trope?

Friends who are oblivious to the other persons feelings so they dont ever make a move until they're drunk 🤷‍♀️ *40s Stucky bonus*

40. How many likes does your fics usually get?

300 for 4k reads on Wattpad

41. Have you ever used a prompt?

Absolutely! Sometimes you just need a little help and there ain't nothing wrong with that!

42. What is your weakness as a writer?

I am obsessed with the small details that nobody cares about (especially height comparisons) but I think that comes from my artistical side.

43. Have you ever cried or felt any emotion while reading something you wrote?

Oh absolutely, all the fucking time!

44. Have you ever done a collab with another writer?

Yes! Only 1 other writer who is also the asker 😘😘

45. One thing you love about fanfiction?

I think it's an amazing thing to write because people already have deep connections with the characters so you dont have to waste the first part telling their story (unless it's an AU, but even then it's totally okay to just jump right into it!)

46. What's your favourite emotion to cause your readers?

I definitely enjoy leaving them on the edge of their seats, but I also love writing fluffy scenes that make peoples hearts flutter

47. What's your favourite thing about writing?

The creativity and ability to create a reality! There's endless possibilities and that's so fascinating and amazing to me

48. Do you post your writing on other platforms? I only post on Wattpad, but I have thought about posting things on tumblr too! Thoughts?

49. What app/apps do you use to write?

Either google docs or just in Wattpad itself

50. One thing you don't like about fanfiction?

Some people get the characters totally wrong personality wise and that sorta bugs me when reading because I get confused

51. Least favourite trope?

Coffee shop AUs are a little boring unless somebody brings something new to the table (like one of them is a vampire or witch or single parent instead of just like OH this barista/customer is cute). But if I come across a coffee shop AU I'm not going to NOT read it, you know?

52. Favourite words to use when writing?

No? I mean I know everyone's writing is different and unique to the person but I don't think I have any favourites.

53. Least favourite words?

When writing straight smut I get uncomfortable with certain words people use to describe the female anatomy other then that no 🤷‍♀️

54. Do you usually like what you write?

Yeah! And if I don't, I'll change it until I like it before posting it 😂

thank you @scaryaryanna for the lovely ask and thank you to anybody who stuck around to read everything ❤❤❤❤❤

[mycasandstarrs]

SPN 8x09: “Citizen Fang”

THEN: Martin Creaser, an old hunter friend of the Winchesters. Amelia’s husband Don is back. Sam met Benny, and is phenomenally pissed about his friendship with Dean.

“Born on the Bayou” by Creedence Clearwater Revival.

Carencro, Louisiana.

Benny in his new (old) job and new alias: Roy.

Benny and Elizabeth are so cute. Guess it runs in the family.

“You got designs?”

“Nah. She's more like a little sister to me, you know?”

Or great grandaughter.

“So you don't mind if I take a shot?” Eww, dude.

Martin. Already on tailing job for Sam.

RIP man from the diner. Throat ripped out.

Let me go ahead and just say that I think this is one of Sam’s worst episodes. He and his decisions piss me the hell off.

“Look, he [Martin] called me when he got out, okay, asked if I had anything for him that might help him ease back into the game. He seemed okay – mostly – so I said yes. I've had him tracking Benny for the past week.”

“You put "mostly okay" Martin on Benny?”

Sam...what the hell. Where did your sense of judgement go in the past year???

“Benny's a vampire. And any hunter worth his salt isn't gonna let one just walk around freely. So I had Martin keep tabs on him. And right now, it's looking like I made the right call.” I already want to punch Sam in the face.

“You said look for an eruption. How's Mount Vesuvius?”

“I followed him home, just like every night. He turned up a path. I hear a scream. I catch up. Then, boom – there he is. The old coot that Roy was eyeballing at the joint – vamped.”

“Wait – did you actually see Benny kill the guy or not?”

“I saw enough.”

“Well, then, how can you be sure it was Benny if you didn't actually see him do it?”

Dean’s good at discrediting Martin. Then again, an 8 year old could point out the plot holes in Martin’s account of the events.

“This sound like the Benny you know?”

“I don’t know Benny.”

That’s right tho; Sam doesn’t know Benny, hence what’s going on right now.

“Why am I getting the distinct impression that your brother is vouching for a vampire?” Because he is.

“I got history with the guy, okay? I'm not signing up for a witch hunt. I owe him more than that.”

“What in God's great creation could a Winchester possibly owe a vampire?”

HIS LIFE AND THE LIFE OF HIS BEST FRIEND.

At least Sam gave Dean time.

“Sometimes it's not easy to see things for what they are.” You’d know about that, Sam.

Sam and Amelia had a lovely house.

“I don't want to do the right thing. I mean, this is the right thing, you and me.” It’s the right thing for you. 

“Maybe I'm going to hell for saying this, but I'm not ready to give this up.”

“Neither am I.”

Oy vey.

I love Elizabeth’s accent. It makes words like “gumbo” and pecan” sound wonderful.

“Bad news.”

“You’re out of pecan. Story of my life.”

No pie for Dean.

“Um, listen, I, uh, I tell you what. If he pops up before I can find him, you do me a favor and just have him give me a buzz. Or... could just drop a dime yourself.” Ooohhh Dean-o. I approve of this.

“Benny. I got a body here in Carencro with two holes in it, and I just found out you went fishing. Do I need to tell you what this looks like?”

RIP second victim. Throat ripped out.

Dean already had a machete ready to go.

Rogue vamp named Desmond wants Benny to be part of his crew.

“I know it's hard to believe, but I haven't always been this cute and cuddly.” Aww.

Benny, having lost Andrea and Dean, wanted to return to something familiar. His hometown.

“Went back to my old job at the café. I even found someone to hold myself accountable to.”

I really love Benny.

“Benny, you've got two stiffs on your hands and two hunters on your ass.”

“Oh, please. The half-wit who found me at the café? I'll take my chances with him.”

“That half-wit was sent by my brother, and trust me – my brother's not someone you want to mess with.”

Hoo boy.

“Listen, Dean, we came here on a dead body. You asked for some time, and now there's another dead body. Are we just going on trust here?” Yes, because he’s your brother, he knows Benny and the vamp that’s actually doing this.

“But the one thing I can say about Benny – he has never let me down.”

“Huh. Well, good on you, Dean. Must feel great finally finding someone you can trust after all these years.”

Sam’s feelings got hurt big time again.

“You're too close to this.” Oh and you weren’t too close to the Amy thing?

M A R T I N. WHAT THE FUCK.

“Glad your dad wasn't around to hear that. He'd have a mind to take you both out the woodshed and show you what's what. Half inclined to do it myself.”

“You listen to me. I brought you into this. I can bring you out just as easy.” YOU SHOULD HAVE.

“Just saying – brother chooses a vampire over a brother? I know how I'd feel.” pfft, ask Sam about Ruby.

Sam, meet Don.

“You are Sam, right? Relax. I ain't here to fight.”

“I heard about what happened to you. Rough deal.”

So was Don a POW? What exactly happened to him that made everyone believe he was dead?

“Truth is, I can't blame either of you for what happened. Hell, there were days there I thought I was a dead man. But when I do come back and what I come back to is this, well, it ain't no great mystery if part of me is thinking, ‘What's wrong with this picture?’" That’s extremely fair.

“I know part of her loves me. And now... part of her loves you. But the only one that knows what's best for Amelia is Amelia. So when all of this is said and done and she's made her decision, I'll respect it. And if you truly love her, you'll do the same.” Don was a stand up guy. I liked him.

Hell, he even bought Sam a beer.

Sam didn’t object to Martin handcuffing Dean to a radiator???

“They didn't go for it. They're on their way to you. I'd get scarce.”

“No offense, Dean, but your little brother doesn't exactly put chills up my spine.”

“Benny, listen to me. Do not underestimate my little brother, okay? He can and will kill you given the chance.” 

Benny should be wary of Sam. Sam’s feelings are hurt, he’s feeling petty, and like Dean just said, Sam’s looking for any reason to kill Benny. Shitty reasons, but he’s looking for ‘em.

Dean and Benny are off to find Desmond.

The text from “Amelia”. ”Sam, I need your help. Come quick.”

Why the hell would Sam leave without telling Martin ANYTHING.

RIP Desmond. Killed by Benny.

Out of context, Benny staring at Dean’s neck is gay af.

“My life here is over, isn't it?”

“Afraid so.”

Everything familiar to Benny is now gone. :(

“Guys like us, we don't get a home. We don't get family.”

“You got Sam.”

Dean knows he might not have Sam for long, considering what he just did.

“I'm, uh...I'm leaving.”

“What? Don found you at the bar.”

“Amelia –”

“He threatened you.”

Why did she immediately jump to that conclusion? What the fuck?

“Look, I'm just trying to do the right thing here.”

“The right thing? This morning, you and I were the right thing, remember?”

it was a selfish thing.

“I mean... Amelia, you saved me.” *s i g h*

Benny wanted to say goodbye to family.

“Thanks for not giving up on me, brother.” :’)

Dean tries to end this with Martin.

“Oh, and Martin?”

“Yeah?”

“Find a new line of work.”

Boom.

Martin really walked his dumb ass back to the diner.

Martin’s a piece of garbage hunter.

Martin really had to bring a civilian into this.

“Lizzie” Damn it, that’s so sweet.

“Please. I'm asking you – do not do this.” Benny really tried to resolve this peacefully.

WHAT THE FUCK, MARTIN.

“What do you want?”

“Isn’t it obvious? I want your head...on a stake.”

AWWW BENNY NOOO. CAN WE NOT DO THIS TO ME.

Amelia’s just fine...with Don. What a rude awakening for Sam.

“Feel Alright” by Steve Earle.

“Y-you told me to call you if I saw... him.”

“What do you mean? Roy? Is – is he there right now? Elizabeth, what's going on?”

“Just come.”

Poor Elizabeth. How in the hell did she get over the things she saw that night?

There was a huge fight.

RIP Martin Creaser. Killed by Benny.

“That Old Familiar Pain” by Marlin James (Sonoton Music). A little on the nose there.

The trick is revealed.

��Swapping Amelia's phone out with a burner, sending a distress signal... You got me good. When did you do that?”

“While back, in case I needed it. Looks like I made the right call.”

Did you? Even I question it.

“Any casualties?”

“Martin.”

“Was it Benny?”

“He had it coming, Sam. I'll tell you what happened.”

“I-I know what happened, Dean.”

NO, YOU DON’T.

Damn it, Sam. Martin’s involvement, the mishandling of the situation,  the near death of Elizabeth, and Martin’s death: It’s all because Sam couldn’t think clearly through his hurt feelings and pettiness. Sam brought Martin into this, failed to keep the situation in control, and look what happened. On top of all that, he refuses to accept any responsibility for this. It pisses me off. 

El Sol.

“I knew that was you.”

And now I have to deal with Amelia again.

[celawrites]

Day 7

Clown: Happy one week of me being annoying!

Clown: I like you

Read at 6:38

WHAT A WAY TO START THE MORNING LMAo. With the normal morning routine, and a cup of coffee, I’m ready to head out. I wonder if anyone wants to carpool today and I opt for texting the class chat.

Clown: yOOOOO

Clown: Anyone wanna carpool to school?

Pebble: It’s 7

Pebble: You’re insane

tiNy: I’ll carpool if someone else does

Spam: I’ll join

Spam: CAn we get slushies again?

Clown: Sure

Clown: Y’all can play on the switch in the backseat or smth

Clown: Alright be there in 5

Read by 2

The drive to their place is calm, much like how waters are before a storm.

“yO! GET IN THE CAR LOSER. WE’RE GOING TO SCHOOL”

“How exciting” they make their way into the backseat.

“Off to get the other?”

“Can we just leave him at home? Like let him be late or something”

“That’s rude. I’ll give him 2 minutes to get out of his house tho”

“That’s fair”

The drive to the other’s house is chaotic. The conversation rallies between school and their new game tournament. When we do arrive, said person is nowhere to be found. Ringing their phone seems like the only good way to get him.

“Danny you have 2 minutes before I kick your ass and leave you here”

“i’M SORRY! I NEED TO FIND MY SCARF”

“It’s in your locker. I saw you shove it in there yesterday after school”

“It is?”

“Ask our valedictorian if you don’t believe me”

“Eh. You’ve gotten better at observing things ever since you started vibing with our valedictorian. I trust you”

“Alright now get out here. You have 30 seconds”

A crash, slide, and panting could be heard on the other side of the line. It was funny messing with him like that.

“i’M HERE”

“Welcome aboard shortie”

“I hate that even after my growth spurt you still won’t let me live the nickname down”

“Eh. Your problem for getting the short end of the stick”

“So…”

“Slushies, Coffee, or Boba?”

“Can we get Chick Fil A?”

“Is it open?”

“It opens at 6:30am in the morning”

“If the drive-through is empty enough, we can get Chick Fil A for breakfast”

“I LOVE YOUUUU. MARRY ME CRESSIE”

“You’re disgusting. That’s why I never hang around our valedictorian when you’re there”

“I’ve been hurt on more levels than one”

“Ok but you are extremely obnoxious” the friend.

“Sam shut up”

Well there goes 3 names. Might as well throw the rest of them out there-

“I can literally hear you narrating right now. Please stop.” -Sam

“As much as we love you Cressie, I do not want to go through you narrating. We know as a matter of fact that we told you to leave that behind in middle school”

“So mean” I pout. “aNYWAYS. So. Have any early college admission letters arrived?”

“Nope.”

“Oh I got one from Chapman but I don’t think I wanna go there anymore”

“You still waiting out for Yale or something?”

“Kind of”

“Good luck with that one then. But I mean that one summer camp you joined should be bonus points?”

“Yeah. I just hope it works out”

“I’m sure it’ll work out”

“chICK FIL A PLEASE”

“I thought you forgot hiss”

“Never. The drive through’s basically empty. Please?”

“What do you guys want.”

“Can I get chicken minis”

“I’ll take some hashbrowns”

“Good morning and Welcome to Chick Fil A how may I help you?”

“Good morning. Can I get Chicken Minis, hashbrowns and a chicken egg and cheese bagel?”

“Anything to drink?”

“oOH CAN WE GET COLA?”

“I want a Mango Passion Tea Lemonade”

“A cola, a sweet tea, and two mango passion tea lemonades please”

“Alright! Your total will be $15.59.”

“Alright thank you!”

“Who’s the sweet tea for?”

“Guess”

“Pebble?”

“Nope. It’s for our valedictorian who I’ve been annoying for a week”

“So you wrote the letter?”

“Pfft. It’s probably from an underclassman. You know how persistent some of them are”

“A freshman?”

“Idk. Does he not know who?”

“He won’t tell me”

I pulled my card out and handed it to the employee.

“Makes sense not to. I mean. You did spill to the whole school about his crush in middle school”

“I STOPPED DOING THAT ALREADY”

“That’s a lie. He just stopped telling you about his secrets”

“I’m hurt”

“Your card miss”

“Thank you”

“She’s only the rich one because she lacks a parental figure in her life”

“I did nOT offer to pay to get insulted by you all”

“Sorry”

After getting their food, the ride became quite. They were busy munching on their breakfast.

“Oh look we’re here!”

“And we’re 5 minutes early”

“I never get how your driving schedule works”

“I don’t know either.”

“Can I go with you for a 3am run sometime?”

“And see me flirt with the cute McDonalds employee? If you want. The offer’s up for tonight. If you want to get a decent rest, sleep at 6 and expect a text at 3”

“hUH? Sure!”

“You’re really going to do that huh?”

“No one’s stopping me.”

The three of us headed in. It was funny. Ironic even, that I’ve carpooled with everyone except him.

“You’re late today” he’s salty.

“I went for Chick Fil A with the other two” I huffed.

“I figured.”

“Do you want your tea or not”

“You got me something?”

“To get you in trouble with our english teacher yeah”

“I knew you didn’t mean any good with your gestures”

“Awww. Is liking you not a reasonable excuse?”

“Ha. Funny”

“Meanie!”

The day passes like the love for a crush. Fleeting, quick, and violently. The hammering in your chest is quick, harsh, a constant reminder of who that person is to you. The school day resembles that to me. It’s violent, the constant reminder that if you want to go to the college of your choice, you can’t start slacking. Your grades can’t drop, especially in a private school where all eyes are on you. I may not be the valedictorian, but I am the girl with no family by my side. One drop, one falter, and everyone is suddenly talking about you.

The drive home is relieving. It’s like being hit with the ac at home when you return, or maybe more of a getting ice cream during summer vibe? Not too sure. But when I get home, there’s a feeling of relief. The feeling of finally I’m not within the proximity of him. But today is a 3am run, and quite frankly, I’m not excited.

6pm comes quicker than usual, and I’m going to bed again. 3am comes, and my alarm is ringing in my ear. I drag myself out of bed today. Tonight? This early morning? This late evening? I don’t even know anymore. So then I opt for texting 2 people tonight.

Clown: 3am snacks?

Sleep.

This is why you aren’t growing

Clown: You’re boring

Clown: I’ll find someone else then

Seen at 3:03

Knowing well that he wouldn’t respond, I text the friend from earlier.

Clown: yO SAM

Spam: How long

Clown: Gimme 10 minutes.

Spam: Alrighty

The drive to his house is silent. The songs on my phone are playing softly and I’m humming along. When I do get to his house though, he slips in next to me and he grins. It isn’t until we’re on the freeway to the McDonalds close by that he starts talking.

“Do you usually stay quiet at night?”

“Sometimes. Other times I’m violently switching songs.”

There was a soft silence.

“You definitely know something about who confessed to our valedictorian. He tells you everything”

“Does he? We don’t have 3am emotionally vulnerable chats or anything. He only tells me things about school. But sometimes I can’t help but wonder if I could break down the wall he has”

“You’re getting off-topic. What do you know about the culprit?”

“Mm? I don’t know who it is. Why are you so persistent in knowing?”

“He. I feel like getting him a girlfriend will let him loosen up”

“In Senior year?”

“Yeah.”

“His grades can’t drop. And we know how our class does when it comes to relationships.”

“I still have a feeling he can pull through”

“Perhaps. What do you want?”

“Can I get fries?”

“Sure”

“Good morning darling~”

“Morning!”

“What can I get for you today?”

“Two large fries. And an M&M Mcflurry please!”

“Do you have a friend with you?”

“Yep!”

“Omg is it the hot dude you’re pining after”

“lNFJDSK wHIch ONE”

“wHCIH ONE?” the two were in sync.

“Lmao darling i’ll give you a discount.”

“I loVE YOU TOO”

“I LOVE YOU MORE”

“NO I DO”

This goes back and forth for another couple seconds before I drive up to the window.

“OOoo. Is he gay?”

“I’m right here”

“I’m straight.”

“Ah yikes. Wish me luck on my quest for boyfriends then darling”

“Good luck.”

The night passes in silence. Other than the occasional conversation with Sam, it isn’t much different than the usual. At some point, he passes out due to exhaustion, and I start working on my new piece.

Previous : Masterlist : Next

[chaosamplified]

Answer all the questions!

Alisons: Sexuality?

gay 

Amaranth: Pronouns/Gender?

he/him, male

Amaryllis: Birthday?

January 23, 2000

Balsam Fir: Have you ever been in love?

I think so

Baneberries: Favorite song?

im really feeling Dimple by BTS right now

Basket of Gold: Describe your family.

my home family is me, my dad and Cammie. before college I saw my mom once a week. my dad’s side of the family is a bunch of Polaks, my grandma says she isn't polish but we have other thoughts (thats a joke...kind of) they are all mostly not affectionate and they show they care by making fun of each other and if you look at it from the outside it looks like we all really hate each other but thats just how we do things. my moms side is not like that at all, they all pretend to really care about each other but theres a split where half of them are really liberal and the other half is very conservative and borderline racist. I don't doubt that they all genuinely love each other and they do provide for each other in crisis times but they don't really....like each other u know. and the two sides of my family could start world war 3 with the hatred they have for each other 

Begonia: Favorite color? 

steel blue 

Bellflower: Favorite animal?

turtle 

Bergenia: Are you a morning or night person?

night person 

Black-Eyed Susan: If you could be any animal for a day, what would it be?

id be a cat they are always so chill and they know they can do whatever they want and they're right  

Borage: Give a random fact about your childhood.

the house I lived in only had 1 story that was safe for children to be in so I was very bad at using stairs until I was 12 because I never had to 

Bugleherb: How would you spend your last day on Earth? 

if I could do whatever I want id probably visit my mom and apologize for all the things I would never say otherwise. spend some time with Charlie and Lio. tell him all of the things im too afraid to say now. and end the day with Cammie and my dad, probably crying. 

Buttercup: Relationship Status?

single

Camelia: If you could visit anywhere, where would you want to go?

greece maybe? somewhere on the Mediterranean that isn't Cassis because I want variety 

Canna: Do you have any tattoos?  

not yet

Canterbury Bells: Do you have any piercings?  

2 in each ear 

California Poppy: Height?  

5′1

Cardinal Flower: Do you believe in ghosts?

no but I wish they were real

Carnation: What are you currently wearing?  

green sweatshirt, black “skinny” jeans, black vans, green and orange floral hat 

Catnip: Have you ever slept with a nightlight?

I kept my closet light on every night for the first like 10 years of my life 

Chives: Who was the last person you hugged?  

Lio

Cock’s Comb: Favorite font?

courier new 

Columbine: Are you tired?

eternally (not actually, im chillin right now)

Coneflower: Dream job?

head songwriter/performer/art coordinator/all that shit for a touring solo act (me, im the act)

Cyclamen: Did you have a favorite stuffed animal as a child? What was it?

Puppy and Fred were both Dalmatians, and then Allie and Tom who were cats (I still have all of them at home except for puppy)

Daffodil: What’s your zodiac sign?

Aquarius 

Dahlia: Have you done anything worth remembering?

ive done lots of things that are worth having me remember, im not sure that ive done anything worth having other people remember 

Daylily: What would you do if your parents didn’t like your partner(s)?  

literally not care at all

Dendrobium: Who is the last person that you said “I love you” to?

Cammie I think

Foxgloves: What’s something you’re bad at?

talking about things when they actually matter 

Freesia: What are three good things that have happened in the past month?

I finished editing one of my songs! I performed live for the first time in over a year! I uhhh started growing a penis!

Garden Cosmos: How was your day today?

fine, not extraordinarily good but not bad 

Gardenia: Are you happy with where you’re at in your life?

not one bit 

Heliotropium: What helps you calm down when you feel stressed?  

nothing :) sleep?

Hollyhock: Describe your ideal day.

fantasy ideal is like. waking up and making out with my boyfriend and then going to an amusement park for a couple hours just cuz we can, spending the evening performing and then getting wasted with that same boyfriend in our luxurious house 

Hyacinth: What do you like to do in your free time?  

play piano and lay on piano 

Laceleaf: How many friends do you have?

like 5 that I would genuinely consider friends 

Larkspur: What do you think of yourself?

I try too hard at some things and not hard enough at other things and never the right amount about literally anything

Lavender: What’s your favorite thing about yourself?

I can see anything as art or potential art 

Leather Flower: What’s your least favorite thing about yourself?  

hm. well. inability to talk about things when they matter. boobs. ugly in general. lazy. the list goes on

Lilac: What’s something you liked to do as a child?

I really liked creating entire universes. like literal different planets and creatures that live there and relationships between them and the way they live their lives. 

Lily of the Nile: What is something you feel guilty for that you shouldn’t feel guilty about?  

my mom going to jail

Lupine: What does your name mean? Why is that your name?

I picked Sam as a holder name while I was discovering that I was trans because it was very easily gender neutral and started with the first letter of my birth name and then when I came out I still hadn't picked a better name but I didn't want to hear my birthname anymore so I just said I was going by Sam. when I changed it legally I made it Samuel because I no longer related to gender neutrality and I never had a nickname growing up and wanted Sam to be my birthname. Somehow Alexander just came to me as a middle name, I didn't really think about it at all and was doodling things about names and wrote “Samuel Alexander” and was like huh. and didn't think about it for months. and then in class one day I said “guys I don't even have a middle name” and Hailey was looking up names and came up with a couple and wasn't satisfied with her findings and then she found Alexander and was like “ok this one for sure” and I had never even mentioned to her that I was considering Alexander and then I was like well this is it. later I realized that when I was little I usually picked the name Alex as my character names but then decided I couldn't use it because I wasn't cool enough. I still feel like im not cool enough for the name Alex but now I go by Sam to some people and Alex to others 

Marigold: Where did you grow up? Tell us about it.

Jackson, Michigan. I usually thought that it sucked because theres not a lot for like teenagers to do there. but I was never one of those who despised it there, which is how most people who live there feel. now that im in Ann Arbor I realize that there just aren't a lot of opportunities for what society says teenagers should do, but that we made do. I realize now that Jackson is actually pretty rad and I can't wait to go back there tomorrow. I miss it a lot. 

Morning Glory: What was your bedroom like growing up?

really awful lavender walls with pink, green, yellow and blue butterfly decor everywhere. my sister and I shared it and never changed anything about it from the years of 2003-2012 (2012 being when we moved out)

Mugworts: What was it like for you as a teenager? Did you enjoy your teenage years?  

I kind of mentioned this before. It sucked in lots of ways. I was really suicidal for a long time. I hated all of my family situations. I thought I would never amount to anything, I thought I would never have the courage to come out as anything. I didn't think I was gonna go to college. but I also had some really awesome lovely friends in middle and high school, Max, Hailey and Eli in particular. Eli and I have some differing views and don't talk a lot anymore, and Hailey and I had a really bad falling out, but we had no tension it was great. with Max is where most of my “teenage fun” (?) happened tho. he had a car and we did dumb shit like go to Cascades and random parking lots and grocery stores. we smoked weed once and got drunk once. those days were great and I never thought about my family and was never suicidal when I went out with Max on random high school nights

Norwegian Angelica: Tell us about your mom.

we were moderately close when I was really little, and then my parents started getting divorced and some shit went down between us and we didn't talk for 6 months. when I started talking to her again things were very tense. I didn't like her and I didn't want her in my life at all. our relationship is still strained but I love her now and were never going to agree on everything and she's always going to hold to a lot of her ways, and were never going to have the relationship I wish we did. but she's doing her job as a parent now and thats what I care about. she has a very specific personality based off of pop culture and ive kind of developed some of that in my own life. she's hard to explain

Onions: Tell about your dad.  

until I was like 5 I genuinely thought that he hated me, but in reality he was just stressed and worked all the time and didn't really know how to be a parent. we were never exactly close when I was young, I was kind of afraid of him. then the divorce happened and he realized that I am a person with thoughts and feelings and goals and that he was in charge of helping me develop, now all on his own. he didn't do a great job with that transition, and kind of just started treating me as an adult. but it worked. we got really close and stayed that way for a few years. then he got in a new relationship and all of her children moved in with us and they were awfully behaved and him and his girlfriend treated my sister and I as if we were also awfully behaved even though we aren't, so for that time period I had strong feelings that he wasn't being a good parent and was quite frankly being neglectful, which honestly was true. now that they no longer live with us (them? I don't live there anymore) I feel like our relationships is a lot better. could also have something to do with the fact that ive moved out. now that im rebellious and don't care what he thinks my life is a lot better. aside from parenting, he's a really cool person. he plays guitar and has lots of knowledge about musical equipment, he is the reason I took this path in life and he supports me because that was his dream too. he is also so good at being a mechanic like his customers are so loyal that he moved companies and most of them came with him, he's great at it and has so much knowledge. he just in general has a lot of knowledge and great stories and is very funny. I love him a lot

Orchid: Tell about your grandparents.

my Papa (grandpa on dads side) was my entire heart. he loved me more than anything and I felt the same about him. he died when I was 6 and I can't really get more into it because it is one of the saddest thing that has ever happened to me and I don't think I will ever get over it. his wife, my grandma, has surprisingly been one of my most supportive family members with my transition. she took me to France and not any other grandkids. I think im her favorite no offense. I also lived with her for a long time so we're moderately close. now that im older and don't care what my family thinks of me its really easy for me to talk to her. my grandma on my moms side lived with us 4 months of the year but she had some sort of mental problem that never got diagnosed that made it slightly uncomfortable to be around her, but she loved us with her whole heart and I love her too. her husband I only met twice in my life and I don't care about him at all

Petunia: If you’re in a relationship, how did you meet your partner(s)? If you’re not in a relationship, how did you meet your crush/how do you hope to meet your future partner(s), if you want any?

I met my crush by force 

Prairie Gentian: Who is someone you look up to? Describe them.

I don't really have anyone that I look up to in the traditional sense 

Primrose: Describe your ideal life.

in love. making sufficient money off my music that I can take extended break periods and my partner doesn't have to work. having exciting adventures all the time

Rhodendron: What is something you used to believe in as a child?

god. lol

Ricinus: Who’s the most important in your life?

Cammie

Rose: What’s your favorite sound?

not to be narcissistic but genuinely probably when I play a whole song on piano and can feel that im playing everything correctly 

Rosemallows: What’s your favorite memory?

this is an unfair question! I usually put the nerf in the middle of the night at Michaels story because its lit. 

Sage: What’s your least favorite memory?

uhhh being abused. haha

St. John’s Wort: Is it easy or difficult for you to express how you feel about things?

easy when they are social issues or they don't personally affect me. hard if I have to tell another person my personal views on them or something they do

Sunflower: What is something you don’t want to imagine life without?

Cammie

Sweet Pea: How much sleep did you get last night?

like 7 hours with waking up approx 6 times in there 

Tickseed: What’s your main reason to get up every morning?

school. sometimes thats not enough and I don't get up

Touch-Me-Not: How do you feel about your current job?

I don't have a job

Transvaal Daisy: What’s your favorite item of clothing?

I really like my blue/gold/white sweatshirt and the green and orange floral hat im wearing now (bc its from cassis)

Tropical White Morning Glory: Describe your aesthetic.  

gay punk alcoholic wannabe skater kpoppie 

Tulip: What would be the best present to get you?

I reallllyyyy want a Yoongi funko pop at this moment in time. in general I never know.

Vervain: What’s stressing you out most right now?

not knowing if he wants to kiss me as much as I want to kiss him

Wisteria: How many books have you read in the past few months? What were they called?

literally 0. i haven't read a book like last march (?) when I sped read The Kite Runner in 48 hours for a class 

Wolf’s Bane: Where do you want to be in life this time next year?

I have no clue! hahahahahahaaaaaaaaa

Yarrow: Do you know what vore is?

unfortunately 

Zinnia: Give a random fact about yourself.

I want to dye my hair a fun color but am afraid