#why does hubby love pacing behind me

[shamera]

NaNo day 13

where am i going with this it was meant to be tiny scene tiny scene maybe 4k in total for whole story

guess what. it was even supposed to be time loop for EACH of the three characters, but i feel like it's just gunna end with dfs now because wow this got long and wordy. but then again. nano. if i can't hit the word count, i cry.

He made his way downstairs without disturbing Fang Duobing, and gave Hulijing a pat to keep her quiet as she snuffled up next to him. He would have to call for Wuyan for information and for breakfast in a bit, but in the dawn hours with Lotus Tower parked firmly along the forest road leading up to the strange village surrounded by budding greenery, something twisted within his gut. 

Li Lianhua was curled in bed facing the wall, blanket pulled halfway up his head in the chill of the morning air, hair unbound and trapped against his neck. Di Feisheng stared for a moment, although he didn’t know why, before he deliberately made a noise just loud enough to wake a trained swordsman.

Li Lianhua stirred, movements groggy and slow, and to Di Feisheng’s surprise, he only pulled the blankets up higher before moving to settle back to sleep, only the end of his fingertips showing from the cocoon of the blanket. 

Di Feisheng kicked at the stool again, and this time Li Lianhua made a sighing noise and spoke from beneath the blankets, voice deepened with the dregs of sleep, “Go back to sleep, A-Fei. It’s too early for this.”

“I need to talk to you,” Di Feisheng insisted, although his voice was also quiet in deference to the early morning. His hands untensed knowing that Li Lianhua had known he was there all along, and had chosen to remain sleeping rather than— than what? Had Di Feisheng been interrupted from his sleep like this in his rooms at Jinyuan Alliance, he would have already held a sword to the throat of the offender, if they were lucky. If they weren’t, there would already be blood spilled. 

“Mmm,” Li Lianhua intoned, and turned his head further into the blankets. “Later.”

Di Feisheng didn’t respond, although he also didn’t leave, staring at the bundle of blankets on the bed. 

It didn’t take long before Li Lianhua pushed down his blanket irritably, turning over to glare back at him. “Are you just going to stay there the entire time?”

“Until you listen.” Di Feisheng confirmed. 

“It’s unnerving.” Li Lianhua complained. “No one can sleep with you staring like that.”

“Then stay awake,” Di Feisheng challenged, even as Li Lianhua glared harder. “Get dressed. The day’s already started.”

“Are you going to stare for that as well?”

Di Feisheng was tempted, just to be contrary. But he would rather Li Lianhua be a better mood for the upcoming conversation, so he turned and left Lotus Tower, taking the time to wander far enough to summon Wuyan in his usual fashion to deal with the search for the Styx flower and with breakfast. 

— 

What Lotus Tower lacked, Di Feisheng realised, were walls that were sufficient for privacy purposes. He didn’t understand how Li Lianhua could stand to stay there during harsh winters when there were gaps that constantly needed to be filled or fixed in the tower, several parts more aesthetic than functional. Keeping out rain was bad enough, but sound travelled easily, and he could hear Fang Duobing’s stomping around upstairs when he got back, and there was no way to prevent the words from being overheard when Li Lianhua already opened a window and even had the wall of the back of the house open for the air and the view. 

It was sufficient for one person, but three meant constantly tripping over each other. 

He could see Fang Duobing lean over the railing of the room upstairs, mostly dressed but still looking bleary as he called out, “Have you seen my boots? Are they down there?”

“No,” Li Lianhua answered, voice only the slightest bit muffled despite not being seen. He wasn’t even speaking loudly. “Why would they be down here? Check under the bed, Xiaobao.”

Fang Duobing disappeared back behind the curtains of the upstairs room, and called out moments later, “Found them!”

Shaking his head, Di Feisheng entered Lotus Tower again. 

Li Lianhua was fully dressed and prepared for the day, folding the blankets on the bed and smoothing out the creases in the linens diligently. Di Feisheng took a seat at the bench, and said, “Yesterday, we went fishing and you lost a hairpin in the water.”

Li Lianhua paused in his movements, brows creased. “...Yesterday, we stayed in because it was raining and both you and Xiaobao nearly wrecked my home fighting. Lao Di, what are you on?”

“Yesterday, I told you I have been living the same day over and over, and you thought I ate something off, or that I had a strange dream. I asked you to tell me something that I shouldn’t know, so that I can convince you of my words today.”

“Lao Di,” Li Lianhua said slowly. “You were definitely dreaming.”

“Yesterday,” Di Feisheng pressed yet again, “you spoke of once wanting to be a weaponsmith, before giving up on the idea because you lacked talent.”

Here, Li Lianhua looked perturbed, motion stilling. 

“Li Lianhua,” Di Feisheng addressed him. “This day has been repeating for me for a while now. I live through the day, but when I sleep, I wake to find that it is today all over again. The same morning no matter the weather the night before, the same place no matter where I fell asleep before, the same me no matter if I was wounded the day before. No one remembers living through the day before, and nothing that will happen today has happened yet.”

“An odd statement.” Li Lianhua’s expression was still composed, but his tone was more bewildered. 

“We have investigated the village several times,” Di Feisheng told him. “They attempt to poison us three times on average, and trap us at least once this day. We have left this area to travel in all directions, and had uneventful days that only led back to today once more. You always go along with what I say, but have yet to fully believe me.”

“That’s… a strange story,” Li Lianhua said, and Di Feisheng thinned his lips in frustration. “I’ve never heard of such a thing happening before.”

That was a terrifying thought— that perhaps this had happened to others before, but no one ever heard of it because they continued to live the same day over and over and never made it to the next day where the information might spread. 

Di Feisheng refused to believe that. 

“Help me figure this out.” He said, although the words were gritted. “Or if you still don’t believe me, tell me a way I can make you believe me.”

By now, Fang Duobing had made his way downstairs as well, his footsteps light as he came in the door, confusion evident on his face. Lotus Tower really did not allow for private conversations. 

“Repeat?” Fang Duobing asked, “Lao Di, what do you mean?”

Exactly what he had said, although he understood Fang Duobing’s confusion. Rather, Di Feisheng focused on Li Lianhua, knowing that even Fang Duobing’s response this time around was different and it was because Li Lianhua wasn’t brushing the statements aside as easily this time around. 

There was a tense moment of silence before Li Lianhua resumed folding the blankets, putting them away before coming to sit next to Di Feisheng on the bench, eyes narrowed in thought. 

“Alright,” he said. “Suppose what you said is true. Tell me everything that happened.”

— 

Li Lianhua said, there must be something in the village that triggered this the first time around.

Li Lianhua said, there is a way to convince him this was the truth in the mornings.

Fang Duobing sat opposite them, listening intently the entire time even as Wuyan came by to drop off breakfast, staying a few moments longer to give Hulijing a jerky treat and a scritch behind the ears. The pan-fried meat buns cooled as their conversation continued, marking out details and what could be said and done. 

“Tell me how to convince you again if today doesn’t work out,” Di Feisheng told the both of them. 

“Whatever I tell you, it won’t guarantee anything,” Li Lianhua told him. “We should focus on finding what happened to you in the village.”

Fang Duobing, on the other hand, just shook his head. “It won’t hurt to tell him something. Just in case we don’t find out what happened today.” He looked rather perturbed. “What happens to us, then? If you get sent back to the morning? If we don’t get sent back, then… are you just missing, if we get to the next day? Or do we not exist at all?”

“Try not to think of that yet,” Li Lianhua told him. 

“Tell me something to convince you if today repeats again,” Di Feisheng urged Fang Duobing. “Before, you asked me to predict fortune sticks. I can still do that, but something to convince you immediately would be most efficient.”

“You can predict fortune sticks?” Fang Duobing gaped, and then his gaze turned devious. “What about gambling in town—”

“Don’t,” Li Lianhua interjected quickly. “Pick up bad habits.”

Fang Duobing looked properly admonished, pulling back with a nervous laugh. 

“But Xiaobao had a point with the fortune sticks,” Li Lianhua admitted. “If you could predict, say, something yet to happen, it would be more convincing than words we may have shared.”

“What did you have in mind?”

— 

“Circumstances change from moment to moment,” Li Lianhua said as they set up to grind ink on the plate. “Different movements or time of day would trigger different responses. If I asked you to think of a bird right now, your answer may be different than if I asked you to think of a bird the moment you wake up, merely because you heard a songbird as you woke, or because you just ate something that reminded you of another bird. If I asked for the first colour that comes to mind while we’re in the forest, you may think green, but in here you may think brown. Questions can’t be nebulous like that, but rather grounded in something solid that is unlikely to change.”

“Too confusing,” Di Feisheng dismissed. “Tell me what I should ask.”

“Take the fortune sticks for example,” Li Lianhua ignored him. “A person could throw them twice in a row and get different results. Will likely get different results. Even if the day repeats for you, the results may be different. So it will have to be something you can predict, but we cannot.”

“Then how are you sure you could convince me with fortune sticks?” Fang Duobing asked Di Feisheng suspiciously. 

“Li Lianhua cheated.” Di Feisheng revealed shamelessly. “The results would always be the same.”

Fang Duobing turned his suspicious stare at Li Lianhua, although this time with a twinge of wide-eyed betrayal as well. 

Li Lianhua waved a finger, “You didn’t know that, and he shouldn’t have known that either. That makes it an accurate prediction.”

“That makes it cheating,” Fang Duobing grumbled. 

“Ahh, but he’s not the one doing it, is he?” Li Lianhua placated him, and then turned his attention to Di Feisheng. “Is there anything special that happens through the day not to do with us that you can predict? A tree falling in the forest, a disturbance outside?”

Di Feisheng thought about it for a long while, and shook his head slowly. “Outside of what happens in the village, different events occur each time. The day is calm.”

Li Lianhua rubbed his fingers together and furrowed his brow in thought. 

“Then you’ll have to create those events.”

Di Feisheng raised an eyebrow. “Then I cause it instead and you will not believe me.”

“Not necessarily,” Li Lianhua said. “Say, if you send Xiaobao hunting first thing in the morning, then you can tell me what he comes back with before he gets back. But it will have to be first thing in the morning, before you can influence his actions to change the results.”

Fang Duobing looked between them and then shook his head, mouth in a determined moue. “I refuse to go hunting before the sun is up. I won’t do it.”

“It’s just an example.” Li Lianhua reassured him. 

“...It could work,” Di Feisheng admitted with a smirk as Fang Duobing crossed his arms. 

“The point is,” Li Lianhua interrupted their to-be spat, “that if the day is repeating exactly the same, then you are the only thing changing it. Whatever you don’t change remains the same. Unless, of course, this isn’t truly a repeat of the day, but rather something to make you think it is.”

“Inconsequential.” Di Feisheng dismissed.

“Of course, that’s just to prove yourself in case we don’t believe you.” Li Lianhua frowned, hands pausing on grinding the inkstone. “So long as you give sufficient information, you may not need to prove yourself.”

“Tell me something, then,” Di Feisheng said once more. “That you’ve never said aloud before.”

Li Lianhua set down the inkstone, and Fang Duobing reached to pull the plate away. “Something I’ve never said aloud? There’s usually a reason for that.”

“Something that can’t be used against you.” He thought for a moment. “How did you get your dog?”

“Hulijing?”

At the mention of her name, Hulijing perks up her head from where she was lying in a patch of sunlight, tail wagging slowly. 

“She followed me home one day. Not unlike you two.”

“And you just let it stay?” Di Feisheng questioned. 

“I was still building Lotus Tower then,” Li Lianhua elaborated, reaching for one of the cold buns. “It was at one of the coastal towns. Back then, I had… more health issues. The townspeople were not unkind, but they didn’t like outsiders. I kept mostly to myself, but there was once…” he trailed off, lost in thought, and Hulijing stood from the patch of sunlight and yawned before padding on soft paws over to Li Lianhua, setting her head on his knee. He smoothed a hand against her fur absentmindedly, offering her the bun. “I didn’t account for how sick I was. I couldn’t make it back by myself, so I just sat in an alleyway for a while to catch my breath. She found me and stayed with me the entire time, and then came with me when I finally went home again. Then she never really left.”

“No one helped you back?” Fang Duobing sounded heartbroken. 

Li Lianhua reached to pat his hand. “I was ill, and an outsider. It was kind enough of them not to throw me out. For all they knew, my illness could be contagious. Besides, Hulijing helped me back.”

[notjustjavierpena]

Inés just broke something in the house, what does hubby and wife say????

Mess (Drabble)

Series Masterpost | Main Masterpost | Support a disabled creator

A/N: Such a fun writing project, tysm. I missed them terribly! 

Summary: Inés breaks a lamp. Javier has the scare of his life.

Pairing: Javier Peña x f!reader/you (no y/n)

Tags: Family dynamics, Javier POV, fluff, hurt/comfort, i write to fix my own trauma 

Word count: 1.8k

Link to this work on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/52937182/chapters/137384134

Mess

The stack of folded clothes is growing taller whilst the laundry basket on the double bed is emptying out. Javier is enjoying a weekend with time to get housework done before midterms begin at the local college. He is nervous about guiding his students through the exams for the first time since starting his job as a teacher, feeling like he has only just begun his life as an educator and the responsibilities are overwhelming. You’ve sweetly encouraged him each time he’s voiced his concerns to you, told him that his class is lucky to have him whenever he has mumbled about nerves over dishes or during goodnight kisses. 

With your support, he has found that prepping for the exams is best done accompanied by mindless work and he has gone through several tasks on the list saved in his head; groceries have been bought, gutters have been cleaned, and two full baskets of children’s clothes have been washed and dried. He doesn’t want to admit to you that he thinks about the theories behind criminal behavior while folding Sebastian’s tiny socks. 

You are outside with the boys, enjoying the last months of your pregnancy with a book in your lap, laying in the hammock under the large trees. He checks on the three of you often, spotting that you have put down the book as you sway gently to substitute it with watching your children with a hand on your rounded belly. Lucas smiles brightly as he has Sebastian waddling hurriedly after him on the newly mowed grass. The soles of their feet will be green when they come inside later, marking the floorboards that he has just vacuumed but he doesn’t mind. It is evidence of fun, of love and joy. Messes equals life.

Inés is the only one who refuses to go outside. Her giggles and chatter floated up the stairs not too long again, blending with her little feet making the floorboards creak as she paced around with her hobby horse. It offers a rare kind of comfort to be able to hear her having fun while he packs clothes away into dressers and drawers. 

Until he doesn’t hear it anymore. Instead, it is a sudden crash that comes from downstairs and makes Javier tense up. He freezes to listen for her voice calling for him but only silence follows the loud noise. 

“Inés?” He calls. No answer. The t-shirt that he is in the middle of folding falls to the bed and his heartbeat quickens. 

He walks to the open door of the bedroom, grabs the doorframe, and leans out of it to listen again. He calls her name a second time, this time a little louder and more insistently, but there’s still no response. 

In his chest, his heart has started to pound enough for him to be able to hear it in his ears. Many thoughts go through his head at the sound of silence from the living room, firstly images of broken furniture but then finally the picture of his daughter who has fallen and hit her head. Why hadn’t he paid closer attention to her? Why hadn’t he checked on her sooner? 

He is out the door before he even realizes that he is moving, barrelling down the stairs and taking it two steps at a time. Fuck, maybe he could have prevented disaster if he had gone downstairs the second she had gone quiet. He raises his voice without thinking, knuckles whitening as he grips the banister, “Inés? Answer me now!”

When he stumbles into the living room, he first notices the broken lamp, a shattered bulb lying beside the ceramic base on the wooden floor but with no blood on the shards. Next to it, Inés’ hobby horse lies discarded like it has been thrown in a panicked hurry. He furrows his brow, scanning the room to find her. 

When he spots her through the doorway to the dining room, crouched down under the table, relief floods him. She isn’t hurt, no sign of even a scratch on her, but then he sees the way she has her knees pulled up to her chest and her eyes are fixated on the broken lamp. 

She’s scared not of the crash, he realizes, but of him; his shouting, his loud footsteps, the way he had said her name. She looks like she is bracing herself for trouble - more specifically the anger and disappointment in his voice - and she’s covering her ears with little, trembling hands in a way that is unsuccessful in keeping out noise. The sight of her terrified face makes Javier remember the feeling of being unfairly scolded for accidents horribly well, and his heart sinks.

He walks calmly into the dining room, not even thinking about the broken lamp anymore, and kneels on the floor. With his hands on his thighs, he takes a deep breath to steady himself, “Inés, I’m not mad at you. I just want to know if you’re okay, baby.”

His daughter lifts her gaze to meet his eyes. His chest constricts at the sight of the tears in Inés’ wide eyes, threatening to fall down her cheeks. She looks like a deer caught in the headlights of a car, still immovable. 

“Are you hurt?” He asks softly. 

“I didn’t mean to break it,” she answer in a whisper and shakes her head. She’s always so bold, hilarious, and mischievous but she’s so clearly hiding from him, trying to decide if it’s safe to come out or not. 

“I know you didn’t, mija (my daughter),” he reassures and moves slowly until he holds both hands out to her, palms open towards the ceiling, “It’s just a lamp, okay? Come here, I’m not mad. Just let me take a look at you.”

Javier can only imagine how fast her heart is beating in her chest right now, knowing that he hurried down here with his own racing heartbeat. She must be dizzy from the anxiety just as he is disoriented by his adrenaline. He gestures gently at her, beckoning her to him. 

“I didn’t mean to,” she repeats quietly.

“Lo sé (I know),” he offers her a little reassuring smile, shifting to sit cross-legged on the floor instead, “Can you come out, please?”

With hesitant steps, she moves from under the table and walks straight to him. He expects that he has to ask for a hug but just as she comes to a halt in front of him, she collapses into his arms like they are a harbor in a storm. He squeezes her tightly. 

“I thought you were mad at me, Papá,” she hiccups as her tears wet his shirt. He rests his chin on top of her head, his broad palm stroking her small back. 

“Not at all, baby. You just scared me is all. You didn’t answer and I thought you were hurt,” he explains while pressing gentle kisses to her hair. He inhales slightly, sighing at the way his baby girl smells of love to him. 

“I’m sorry,” she says and practically crawls into his lap. 

“It’s okay,” he replies, cradling her in the same manner as he has done since the day she was placed in his arms for the first time, “It’s just a lamp. Mamá and I can just get a new one but we can’t get a new you.”

“Will you tell her?” She pulls back to look up at him with huge, wet eyes. 

He nods, using his thumb to swipe at the tears on her face, “Yes, I will have to tell her but Mommy doesn’t care about the lamp either. I promise. We care about you. I’ll also tell her that you gave Daddy the scare of his life and made him run down the stairs like a crazy person.”

A tiny, hesitant giggle escapes her and he feels another wave of relief wash over him. She finally smiles and her voice is more steady now, “Silly.”

“Very silly,” he agrees with a smile and runs a palm over her head, threading his fingers through her hair, “But you know what’s not silly though?”

“What?”

“If anything like this ever happens again - if you break something or you get scared - I want you to call for me instead of hiding underneath the furniture. Just say ‘Papá, I need you’ and I’ll be there, okay?” 

She only hesitates for a moment but then nods thoughtfully, “Okay.”

“And hey, te quiero tanto (I love you so much).”

“I love you too, Daddy,” she says, no hesitation this time. 

The two of them stand up from the floor to look at the broken lamp on the floor. Inés makes an uncomfortable face, reaching for Javier’s hand. He holds her hand in his palm, “How about we tell Mom together?” 

“Now?” She widens her eyes but she isn’t crying anymore. 

“Yes now. Watch your feet, alright?” He waits for her to initiate the first step towards the door to the garden. Her eyes are firmly on the floor as they pass the broken ceramic shards. 

Outside, Javier's face is warm in the afternoon sun. There’s a buzz in the air from the cicadas’ singing and the laughter from his two sons. He and Inés find you in the hammock, the book still discarded as you watch your children with fondness but this time, you’ve switched to sitting. 

However, as they approach, your eyebrows knit together when you spot Inés' apprehensive look. You carefully plant your feet on the ground, asking, “Is everything okay?”

Javier glances at his daughter, “Inés has something she wants to tell you.”

She fidgets for a few seconds, looking down at her feet, but when she feels Javier’s hand on her shoulder, she looks up with determination. She confesses quietly but her voice doesn’t waver, “I broke the lamp. I didn’t mean to. I’m sorry.”

“Oh, Inés, baby,” your expression softens instantly. With a gentle touch, you brush a strand of hair out of your daughter’s face, “Are you okay? You’re not hurt?”

She shakes her head, “I’m okay. Daddy said you wouldn’t get mad but it is messy all over the floor.” 

“You’re okay and that’s all that matters,” your gaze flickers to Javier, a look warmer than the sun in your eyes. He feels his heart nearly leap out of his chest but he catches himself in interrupting the moment between you. You continue, “Daddy and I don’t mind messes, do we? As long as everyone is okay.”

“Yes,” Inés nods in grateful understanding. 

“How about you sit here with Mommy while I clean the floor?” Javier finally suggests, “Then the living room will be as good as new and you can play in there again?”

“Yes, please,” she says politely, “Okay.”

“Okay,” he repeats. 

“Okay,” you chime in and kiss him softly on the mouth before he heads into the house once more. 

Yes, messes mean life, and Javier is lucky enough to live in a world where life also means love.

.

.

If you would like to follow my writing then go follow @notjustjavierpena-fics and turn on notifications 💖❤️

[cottoncandyjester]

Yandere ocs

So I figured I should show them off..and make stories for them cause this idea won't escape my mind no matter what. Please be gentle on them

All artwork is made on picrew I don't own any of it

As far as they go I'm accepting request, questions for the characters to answer and just questions about them and if you just wanna talk to them you can via ask

Warning: contains both sfw and nsfw headcanons..also these boys are yanderes so they are kinda toxic

➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖

Theodore,21

Gentle giant

I'm not kidding he's 6'3"

Half japanese half american

Is a college student studying to be a doctor

Just the sweetest sweetheart

He comes across as ditzy though

He is the mom of any friend group

Will spoil his darling with affection and love

Best hubby vibes for sure

Works himself to death to provide for you both

Will give you all the headpats

"you're so sweet, a perfect angel"

Got his scar from his childhood

Loves sweets

Likes to make you lunch shaped as animals

Wholesome boy

Will never hurt you

Can be strict about self care

But completely forgets about his own self-care

Works so hard to please you

Makes sure you are never sad or anything

As far as his yandere side

He isn't the type to get violent but is definitely the emotional manipulation type

Will make his darling seem absolutely insane

"sweetie, you shouldn't leave be logical here"

He will make his darling question their own decision making

In his eyes you are too fragile for the outside world

Listen to him, he is only trying to protect you

Doesn't like it when you fight him

Prefers a sweet darling but if you are a hothead he'll love you just as much...though your fighting and struggling will be a challenge

Will drug you if that's what it takes to keep you calm

"Just listen to me, okay? Why would you ever need to think or make your own choices when you have me?"

Definitely has a low sex drive more of a cuddler

But when he wants it he's such a gentleman about it

Will seduce you with a nice meal first before asking to make love

He will never force you to though cause he knows what that feels like

Can spend hours kissing you

Definitely has a kink for purity

If you act super innocent he just can't help but pull you into his lap and love up on you

Doesn't do any feral sex unless you've pushed him past his breaking point.

Is a switch so if you want to top him he'll allow it but he is far more comfortable being the dom

Hikaru, 21

Young and famous model

Full japanese

Comes from a family full of actors

Flamboyant as hell will actually crossdress if he wants to cause fuck gender roles

Monster Dick energy

He comes across as loud and hyper

Seems super sweet and bubbly

Loves to dress up his darling in cute clothes and spoil them when they are well behaved

"look at my adorable baby! Oh you're such a cutie!"

Is a strawberry milk boba drinker(*cough* like me *cough*)

Will take you on shopping dates if you are good

Is the type to flaunt his credit cards

Is actually a degrading king

He isn't the nicest yandere

Will kill an entire army if he has to

Will degrade the absolute hell out of his darling to break your self esteem and self worth

"baby, who else will want you? Honestly darling do you think anyone else actually cares about someone as worthless as you?"

Kinky as fuck

Has a bad temper

Don't piss him off or he will hurt you

"why would you ever need to leave! The only one who cares about you is me! Everyone else will just use you and throw you away!"

Is the type to try and make his darling as clingy as possible

Wants a housewife type darling no matter the gender

Wants to come home to an obedient lover ready to give him a kiss, dinner, and a BJ

Always wants to love up on you and have you in his arms

Will be grouchy if he sees you getting too confident in your looks

He fears that if you have too much self confidence you're going to leave him

"what are you wearing? It's absolutely hideous. Hmm? I bought that? Huh you must have looked cute in it then but right now you kinda look like a pig"

All in all he's a brat

If you try and dom him he will absolutely fight back and it will lead to some feral sex

Axis, 18

100% blind

full japanese

Despite not being able to see he doesn't need a cane or anything

Though he likes it when you offer to hold his hand in public

Works at home as an artist

Is really good at it and had some of his work in museums

Like spicy foods

Dumbass

Like super dumb

"hey, babe is tomato sauce a smoothie? Or maybe it's like jelly..but made out of like tomatoes"

Is basically a puppy

Can't keep his hands off you

Is always kissing and loving you

Praise giving king

Has hightened senses so he definitely remembers your smell and how you walk

Always has to be with you

Never leave

Never

He can't handle it

Is the exact opposite of hikaru

Makes it seem like he will actually die without you

"don't leave! Please! I'm helpless without you! [Y/n]! Don't leave me by myself!"

Will make you quit your job

Will make you move in with him

Acts pathetic when you even mention leaving

Hugs your leg and sobs hard

Has fake fallen many times to get you to think he truly is helpless without you

Will have a screaming tantrum if you walk out the door

Just painful screams and sobs while he claws his own face and body out of absolute insanity

Will keep doing that until you come back to him

"s-see, I'm helpless without you. I'll die without you, I need you so please..stay with me forever"

As far as sex..

He is definitely cries during it

Loves you so much that he is just sobbing while fucking you cause you feel so good and he loves you and-

Is like a dog in heat

Loves just feeling all over your body

Sex with him usually lasts many rounds and involves him humping you to death while he sobs and drools all over you

Will sub for you if you want him to

Will honestly do anything you want as long as you are touching him

Prince, 24

Horny 24/7

Full Korean but moved to Japan shortly after birth

Gained his name out of a magazine..thanks mom and dad

Works as a bartender

Usually a one night stand kind of guy but with you it's different

Loves sloppy kisses and cuddles

Bad boy

Aka he pretends to be a bad boy but is actually a softie who loves dogs and long walks on the beach

Goofy as hell

Loves to make you laugh

He isn't used to having a real relationship so be easy on him

Doesn't like restricting you and lets you do basically anything you want

Of course you belong to him though so no doing crazy things

Like to take you to work with him and gives you free drinks

Definitely has a fan girl club

The word sex escapes his mouth every three seconds

Sex with him is usually amazing

He's knows exactly what he's doing

As long as you love him it's all good

The moment you try to break up with him or distance yourself he loses it

"huh? Huh huh huh huh?! You're kidding yeah?! Stop joking around"

Gets hella paranoid and locks you in his house while pacing around not sure what to do

Will kill for you like absolutely will slaughter someone if they get too close to you

He changes so dramatically it's hard to see him as the same laid back flirty guy

He gets tense and panicked

"you can't leave okay?! Don't even try to ask!"

Will start to calm down if he sees you are accepting your fate

Thinks sex will solve his problems

"you just need to see how much of a man I am yeah?! Then you'll stay right?! Of course you will!"

Spirals out of control

You belong to him in his eyes so you can't ever leave

Clearly has abandonment issues

Will try to do whatever he can to make you happy though

Want it and he will get it

just stay with him and he will be okay

Will try and do whatever he can to make you just as obsessed with him as he is for you

Clearly doesn't have experience in loving someone

He's not used to wanting someone to stay with him so he takes drastic measures to assure you never leave

Even tries getting you pregnant or making you disabled to make you make no choice but to stay

Yuki, 21

Not picking favorites buuut-

Sleepy boy

Oddly enough is super athletic and strong..despite not working out

Half japanese half american

Responds with sounds or very few words

Forked tongue- not given to him by choice

Owns a tattoo and piercing shop

Despite this he doesn't own any tattoos

Loves to put his head on your lap or stomach

Prefers chubbier lovers but honestly will love you regardless

Will sleep the entire day without eating if you let him

Doesn't like speaking but if he has to he will

Hates any sort of loud noise, has sensitive senses

Is pretty lazy but if he has to do it he will.. though he will make random grunts and grumbles the entire time while pouting

More of a cat than a person

Quite moody

Only you're allowed to touch him

Anyone else who does he'll glare at and act cold towards

Likes to hug you from behind and lean against you no matter your height

If you're shorter than him expect him to put his chin on your head

If you are taller he's nuzzling his face in your back and taking in your smell

Can't cook to save his life

Almost burnt the house down cause he fell asleep while cooking

It's fine cause he eats microwave dinners and snacks from the convience store

Low sex drive

The king of sleepy sex

Usually all sex with him is slow,teasing and just filled with sleepy praise and compliments

Unless he's jealous or stressed then it's just rough fucking

Doesn't really act like a yandere at all.. buuut-

Honestly thought you two were dating this whole time

What do you mean you two aren't a couple

No no sweetheart you two were dating the moment he laid eyes on you

If you try to break this fantasy he will shut it down

"we're dating."

Try and say no and he will not be able to handle it

All his delusions keep him from breaking down but if you absolutely say that you two aren't dating he will snap

"stop talking, we are dating. So stop lying"

Doesn't like the thought of kidnapping but he will do it if he must

Will even work from home if he has to

He isn't really a violent type so he won't kill for you but he will absolutely spread lies and use blackmail to get what he wants

All your friends and family think that you eloped with him and never want to see them again

It's better for you both if you just play along with his games

Will definitely tattoo his name on you

He won't ever gag you cause he likes to hear your voice but if you try to scream he honestly won't know what to do

The loudness makes him tear up and he just covers your mouth with your hands begging you to stop

"It hurt. Too Loud. Please."

He just wants to love you he doesn't see what he's doing wrong

He just wants to be with you forever so be good and don't fight him

Is definitely the stalker and stealing clothes type

Will make a nest of all your things that smell like you and he'll just lay in it being in absolute peace

Has scared any and all potential lovers away

Mostly through blackmail

He is easily jealous but pretends not to be

As soon as you walk into the house he is there to smell you to see if you smell different

If you do you are taking a shower with him immediately

If not then yay cool cuddles and kisses

[tweedlydumbtweedlydoo]

Not Perfect (JJ Maybank x reader) pt. 5

Summary: JJ Maybank is the one who makes sure your kook lawn is immaculate. Your family may look perfect just like the lawn from someone looking from the outside in, but it turns out you and JJ have more in common than you thought.

*Warning!! : There is talk of abuse through out this story and some abuse  in this fic, read at your own risk 

Masterlist: Not Perfect *completed 

A/N: Well, this is the last chapter :( It’s short and I’m sorry it took so long to write it. I honestly couldn’t find the motivation to finish it. 

However, I hope you guys would read the Rudy Pankow x reader that I posted earlier because I think I’ll be turning that into a little mini series! Read it and comment what you think! 

Here is the link to that fic ----> Here 

Tag list is at the end. Let me know if you want to be added xx

**MASTERLIST**

Requests: OPEN {CLOSED}

** Who I Write For **

********************************************************************************************NOT MY GIF, CREDIT TO OWNERS

“You were with that pogue weren’t you?!” Your dad screams at you. You were backed against the wall with his hand wrapped around your throat. He’d already hit you twice, opening your wounds up again. The Cameron’s had left just moments ago. You knew this would happen.

“Y-yes sir.” Better to tell the truth than lie.

He raises his hand at you, ready to leave more bruises on your face.

“People know you did this to me!” You quickly yell out, “they know what you do to me..”

Your father stops as he looks down at you in shock, his eyes wide and his grip loosening on your throat. You slowly sink to a floor in a sob.

He yells out for your mother, “Pack your things. We’re leaving!”

~

Your father was in panic mode. This was just like the place you lived before. You’d now pack your things and find a new place to live. Somewhere people didn’t know your story.

The house was a wreck as he hired people to pack and move things into a moving van. You knew your room would be next. You grabbed only the things you needed and threw them in a backpack. You slowly rose your window and glanced back at your room once more. This would be last time you’d ever see this room again. You jumped from your roof and made a break for the end of the driveway, ready to begin a new life.

~

“dude. We have to do something..” JJ paces the floor in John B’s house, “He’s.. he’s probably already..” He gulps down the thought of your father harming you or worse. He turns his attention to John B and the rest of the pogues.

“JJ what do you expect us to do? We can’t just show up there. He’ll have us all arrested.” Kie reasons.

“Kie’s right. The police are on his payroll.” Pope adds.

“Then I’ll go.” JJ says as he grabs his bag, “I’ll go there.”

“There’s not a need.” John B says.

“Why?” JJ says looking up at John B.

“Because she’s standing right behind you.” John B says pointing over JJ’s shoulder.

You’d walked in with your backpack on your back.

JJ turns around to see you standing there and he felt like a weight had been lifted. You were okay. He rushed to you and pulled you into a hug, “Thank god. You’re okay.”

“I wouldn’t say I’m okay.” You laughed a little and he pulled away to look at you, wondering what you mean by that. He could tell your wounds had opened back up but other than that, no other new injuries that he could see.

“My dad knows someone knows what he does to me. He’s in a panic and has packed up our whole house. We’re leaving.” You shake your head.

“B-but you can’t. Y/n, you can’t go with him.” JJ says, “I can’t protect you.”

You pull your backpack off your back and set it on the couch, hands on your hips, “That’s why I’m not going with him. I need your help getting off the island.”

~

Kie stands behind you and clips at your hair. She’d dyed your hair the opposite color that it was and was now clipping off as much as she could. You wouldn’t look like the same person after she was done with you. You would be taking the earliest ferry and would get off the island and head out west for a new life. That was your plan.

After Kie had finished, you stepped out of the bathroom and did a twirl, flipping your hair, “Well, what do you guys think of my new look?”

JJ looks up at you and gives you the up down, “You don’t even look the same person.. but you look good.” He clears his throat.

You blush and nod, “The ferry leaves soon.. I should head out.”

JJ looks at the pogues and motions them out, leaving you and JJ standing there. “I’m sad to see you go..” he says as he walks over to you.

You give a small smile, “I’m sad that I have to go. But I just have to hide out until I’m 18, then I’ll be safe and on my own.”

His eyes scan over your face, “Call me when you arrive somewhere safe?”

“Of course..” You nibble on your lip and go to turn around to head out to the door, but then turn back around to face JJ, “come with me.”

“What?”

“Come with me.” You take a step toward him, “Come out west with me. We can get away from our abusive father’s.. We could live a normal life.”

His eyes dart to the front door where just outside was the pogues, his best friends. He could never leave them. Could he? “My life.. it’s here though. I can’t just up and leave.”

Your shoulder slump in disappointment, “I understand.” You give him a small smile.

“I mean.. I’d love too, but I just can’t.”

“It’s okay. I understand.” You lean forward and press a kiss to his cheek, “I should get going or I’ll miss my ferry.”

He watches as you turn away from him, your eyes full of tears. He knows you’re disappointed that he wouldn’t go with you, but he couldn’t leave his friends who are really his family, like that. He watches as you close the door behind you, heading toward a new life that he’d always dreamed of.

~

You find your place on the ferry and stand at the railing. You knew your parents would have found your note by now, along with the cellphone given. You explained in the note you were leaving, never to be seen again and that there was proof of your abuse. If they were to come after you, you’d exploit the family and destroy your father. You knew they’d much rather let you go on your own than be ruined. You’d stepped onto the ferry a brand-new woman, with only a backpack that contained a few clothes and wads of cash, which you’d happily stolen from your father’s safe.

It was early in the morning when you’d arrived on the ferry and you could see the island beginning to wake up from your spot on the ferry. Cars driving by, people walking down the sidewalks or riding their bikes.

“I promised that I wouldn’t let anything happen to you.”

You turned around and standing in front of you was JJ Maybank himself, a book bag slung over his shoulder.

“And I’m keeping my promise.” He steps toward you and drops his bag at your feet. “Plus, I didn’t get a chance to do this.” He whispers as he cups your cheeks in his hands and brings his lips to yours.

~

The End

All my works tag list:  @blossomreed​

Obx taglist: @poguestyleskye​ , @alexa-playafricabytoto​ , @write-from-the-heart​ , @prejudic3​ , @turtlee-says-rawr​ , @outrbank​ , @k-k0129​ , @annedub​ , @rockyyc77​ , @ilovejjmaybank​ , @treestarrrrrrrr​​ , @thedarkqueenofavalon​ , @write-from-the-heart​ , @eclecticpuppyhollywoodhumanoid , @lasnaro​ , @kiarasgold​ , @normatural​ , @kaylinfayezink​ , @lordsagittarius​ , @moose-squirrel-asstiel​ , @thelovelydreamer17​ , @chasefreakinstokes​ , @fanficscuziranout​ , @diverrdown​ , @tregua-oca​ , @junkiemuppettxx​ , @afterglowsb-tch13​ , @hardyxlove​ , @cinnamon-roll-seth​

JJ Maybank taglist: @thatweirdblonde ,  @saltwatercowb0y , @popcrone818 , @thee-sex , @coni-martina , @pm-my-hubbies , @timotaychalabae , @katiaw2 , @maybebanks , @sataninsatin , @obx-beach , @fangirlvoice​ , @lolitstiana​ , @teamnick​ , @danicarosaline​ , @losers-club6​ , @bananasfromtarget​ , @jasminesuperstar123456789​ , @fratboystark​ , @notmcchkn​ ,

[mrs-han]

Forever

@mrs-mc-han: Hiiiiii! Can I please please please request an MC who is super loud an extroverted! She doesn’t mean to or really even notice. she tends to yell when excited and use a lot of hand motions and laugh loudly. and she was never aware of it until she heard one of Jumin’s employees gossiping in the bathroom at C&R and goes to Jumin in tear apologizing for making him seem unprofessional. If you do this I will be so happy🥺🥺I love your work! Thank you💕

~~~

Gurrrl! I went through three different drafts because none of them felt right! But I finally settled on one! Here we go!

~~~

"Ow!! Don't -!"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." Jumin carefully sat you up, his hand on your lower back. "I added too much pressure this time... I'm sorry, darling."

"No, don't apologize, Jumy... it's so nice of you to help me to begin with," you smiled forcibly, gripping his hand.

"It wounds me to see you in so much pain," Jumin sighed, his fingers lightly trailing over your shoulder blades. "How long do you need to rest?"

"Six weeks," you moaned, turning and burying your sulky face against Jumin's neck. "Which is impossible, by the way. What am I supposed to do for six weeks!"

"Rest, obviously," Jumin jested, poking your cheek.

"... Rest, obviously," you imitated. "I mean! What else am I gonna do? Huh? What, I can't do anything except rest?"

"Calm down," Jumin cooed, winding his arms around you. "I'll tell you what. How do you feel about coming to work with me, hm? It's remote, quiet, and you can stay in my office."

"And do nothing?" You pouted.

"I have plenty of board and card games that will keep you busy. Or, you can bring your tablet and play the games you have on there. What do you say?"

"That sounds like... a reason for you to spy on me," you smirked.

Jumin batted his eyelashes. "So what if it is?"

"That sounds like a plan," you giggled, kissing his cheek. "To coming with you to the office, not to the spying."

"Drats," Jumin said stoically, lifting you from the couch and placing you on the bed. "Did you take your medication, love?"

"I did," you blushed, realizing for the millionth time how lucky you were to be reminded. "Come here, hubby. Cuddle close."

~~~

The height of C&R's structure never failed to frighten you. You stood dumbfounded as Jumin gathered your things and grabbed your hand.

"Are you all right?" He smiled, tightening his hold.

"Did you guys expand somehow? The building looks ten times larger than when I was here last!" You smiled, throwing your arm out and flinching shortly after. "Ow! Ow..."

"Be careful," Jumin uttered, rubbing your back. "The building hasn't gotten any bigger... it seems my proposal for cat tree extension has been denied."

"You made a proposal for a cat tree extension?!" You laughed.

"Oh, look. I'm going to be late. Let's go," Jumin mumbled hastily, leading you delicately to the inside of the building.

The sights and the interior sounds were more or less the same since you had last visited. Hurried footsteps and the sound of passes that approved access mixed with the familiar smell of citrus - your senses were overtaken and overwhelmed.

"Why do you look so shocked? You were here just last week," Jumin chuckled, easing you past the security booths.

Before you could respond, you heard a familiar pair of heels making a beeline towards you. You turned and glowed as Jaehee, folders in hand, stopped and bowed towards Jumin.

"Mr. Han -"

"Jaehee!!"

She straightened and smiled as you crashed against her, hugging her. She tucked her folder under her arm and gave you a reassuring pat. "How have you been, MC? All Mr. Han talks about is how you injured your back."

"Even during meetings?! Jumin, shame on you!"

Jumin turned his head, hiding his flushed expression.

"Don't be too hard on him. It's a rarity to see how much he cares for someone other than his cat," Jaehee quipped under her breath.

"We're going," Jumin blurted, grabbing your arm and leading you to one of the many elevators.

"Yes, Mr. Han," Jaehee said quickly, fixing her glasses and her posture.

~~~

"What happened to your office?!" You shouted.

Jumin pursed his lips and blinked quickly. "I felt the need to redecorate."

You rushed into the office and threw your arms open. "Jumin, there are pictures of me everywhere!! OW!!"

"Don't strain yourself by yelling, darling."

Jaehee quickly closed Jumin's office door behind her. "Forgive my sudden intrusion towards this heartwarming conversation, but Mr. Han?"

"Ah, yes. The meeting."

"Jumin, you are -"

"Silly? Adorable? Quite the catch?" Jumin crooned, massaging your back.

You faltered and wrapped your arms firmly around him, giggling as he peppered kisses to your face.

Jumin hummed gently, his fingers curling over and into your hair. "I'll be back, my love. And when I come back, I'll give you the massage you deserve. Don't miss me too much."

"Impossible. I miss you already if only you knew -"

"Mr. Han," Jaehee spoke more pointedly.

"All right, all right." Jumin sighed, the stars in his eyes now replaced by businesslike determination.

"Be strong, my brave man," you grinned.

Jumin grabbed your hand, planted a firm kiss on your palm, and turned quickly, lest Jaehee fire another warning. You closed the door and bit hard at your lip as you observed Jumin's gallery.

Photos of you sleeping, smiling, holding Elizabeth the Third - even pictures of the highly publicized wedding day - were scattered with the finesse Jumin naturally possessed.

"I love you so much, you silly man," you said under your breath, running your fingers over his desk and finally settling yourself on his seat.

You managed to keep yourself busy for half an hour, drawing hearts on Jumin's notepad and playing a round or two of virtual Uno. Boredom was a hell of a demon, so you figured there was no harm in walking around.

Opening the door to his office, you peeked your head through and slid out. You were greeted with polite smiles and inclined heads as you walked through the floor, making you feel... oddly uncomfortable. No doubt, everyone was polite to you because they knew who you were - if you were to make one complaint, Jumin would take immediate action.

But you pushed your suspicions of trivial matters aside and smiled widely towards the ostensibly friendly employees.

Your brows furrowed, and your shoulders tensed the longer you were outside of Jumin's office. You understood what Jumin meant; that feeling of suffocation seemed to hover over your person and only caused more stress to your back as you unconsciously hunched.

You traveled to the café, desirous for some breathing air - there had to be some sense of normalcy where people ate. Still, heads turned as soon as your footfalls could be heard, and more disturbingly flashy smiles were shined your way.

Cramped and in agony, you retreated quickly to the nearest restroom, rubbed your neck, and yanked your phone out.

Hey, honey! Are you almost done?

Jumin usually answered you immediately, but his response still hadn't come your way. Pushing a stall door open, you slumped into the toilet seat and continued to try to work the knot on your back.

"Jumin, shame on you ~!"

Laughter reverberated through the restroom, and you froze in place.

"She's so tacky!"

"And so loud. Could you hear her from accounting?"

"Yes! No offense to Mr. Han, but the least he can do is put her in her place."

"Ha, no offense to Mr. Han, but he chose poorly. My daughter would be a much better candidate."

"Isn't your daughter twelve?"

"Well, Mr. Han does seem to go after those with a... childlike... disposition!"

Earsplitting laughter echoed through the room, through your ears. You pulled your knees to your chest and brought your hand to your mouth to muffle any outbursts of emotion.

"Considering how serious he is, you would assume! That he would choose a practical, serious woman!"

"Where is she from, again?"

"America, from how she behaves."

"That explains the lack of discipline."

You closed your eyes.

"How long would you give them?"

"Six months."

"Ji-Yu! That is far too generous! I give them! Three months!"

"Ladies, ladies. She can't live in a world as glamorous as Mr. Han's. They will divorce as quickly as they met. A country bumpkin will always return to the landfill they came from."

"Are we still on for dinner tonight?"

"Are you paying?"

Another bought of laughter resounded... then, silence. You stood slowly, legs shaking and back aching more than it had that morning.

You went from wanting full transparency to wanting the false reassurance of superficiality.

"So stupid," you murmured.

~~~

"What's next on the agenda," Jumin demanded as he walked straight to his office.

"A meeting at 1430 with Amorepacific," Jaehee answered, easily keeping pace with her boss.

Jumin slid his sleeve up, checking his watch. "Good, I have time to eat lunch with my wife."

"Enjoy your time with her, Mr. Han, but please be in Boardroom D ten minutes before the meeting."

"Yes, yes, fine." Jumin pushed the door open and was greeted by your swollen red eyes and dripping nose.

"Welcome back," you sniffed, forcing a smile.

Jumin's nonchalant expression immediately shifted to one of anxiety. His brows creased, his eyes grew, and he flew to your side. "Darling, what... why are you crying?"

Your voice quivered. "Can I go home?"

"Talk to me," Jumin urged, grabbing your hands. "Is your back hurting you? Did anyone try to come in?"

"No, no... I just... I want to go home," you cried, pulling your hands from Jumin's and covering your face.

"All right... all right, darling," Jumin cooed, grabbing his phone from his back pocket. "I'm calling Driver Kim right now -"

"No," You blurted. "I want to go home. Where I came from."

Jumin paused... then quickly snapped into action, carefully grabbing your chin. "Speak to me. Darling? Why are you saying these things."

"Who am I kidding, Jumin? I can't... I'm not cut out for this life. I'm not cut out for you, you...! You deserve way better than me. You need a woman who's mature, demure, graceful... that isn't me, and you'd be much better off if -"

"Stop," Jumin boomed.

"You just told me to talk to you!" you babbled.

Jumin's anxious eyes eased. "Is that what this is about?"

You closed your eyes. "I heard a gaggle of women talking while I was hiding in the bathroom... Jumin, they're right."

"Are they?" Jumin asked.

"Well... yeah, I mean... they even attacked you, saying how interested you were in childlike women..."

Jumin wiped your tears with his thumbs. "Mmhm. Complete strangers weighing in on the depth of our relationship... it never occurred to me that I should take their opinions to heart."

You hiccupped. "All I'm saying, Jumin, is... I didn't realize how ridiculous I made you look... I didn't consider it."

"What is there to consider?" Jumin asked gently. "You would rather take their words to heart over how happy you make me when you smile? How fast you make my heart beat when I see how eager you are to explore different things? How, in a sea of millions, your eyes are the only ones I will ever look for?"

Your lip quivered.

"Others will have our opinions of us, but you will always be my wife. No matter what is said, I will always come to you. I want you to realize this, that you may finally lean on me... that you will irrevocably trust that my love for you is infinite.

"... Jumin!" You sobbed, tears streaming down your eyes. "You weren't supposed to make me cry more!"

Jumin roughly tugged you in and held you fiercely, kissing the top of your head. "No more talk of you leaving me... don't go anywhere. Stay by my side, and rest assured that I will stay by yours."

"Forever?" You squeaked.

"And ever," Jumin whispered vehemently. "Ah... your back -"

"Don't you dare pull away from me, Jumin," you half-joked.

"... Ha. I wouldn't dream of it, my dear. What do you say we grab some lunch, hm? Your choice."

"Sure... fifteen more minutes like this, first," you replied, your mouth pressed against Jumin's chest.

Jumin laughed and rested his cheek atop your head. "Excellent plan."

[shittylongcatposts]

Happy Monday!!! I hope you’re week started well friend?? Different kind of question this week. Does Jumin have a signature scent? Like you just know they are around because you smell this?? ♥️

Ohhhhh Lea, i'm so far behind on your asks again :o HAPPY TUESDAY, FRIEND! the last weeks have been busy and now that i'm finally having a few days off i feel so... Light and good. Somehow. Anyways! To answer your question i'd like to write something short... I got the idea while a thunderstorm was raging (i kind of missed it though - because we went shopping that day- and luckily you don't get to see lightning inside a mall hehe - thank god because i get super anxious when there's one going on) and for the spoon Position i guess it depends on how we are feeling, afterall sometimes my strong hubby needs to lean onto somebody too.

<something something thunderstorm>

Dark clouds hung deep over the skyline of Seoul. The thunder growled in the distance and rain tapped against the window of one of the higher buildings. Inside a young couple slept in their shared bed. However one of them was awake. With one leg bent on the mattress, peaking out of the blanket, he cooled himself down. Jumin loved sharing his bed and his blanket with you, but on this sultry summer night the warmth that usually radiated from you was a little bit too warm for him.

At first you lied peacefully on his arm only a few inches away from his torso. When he saw the lightning and heard the storm coming nearer, he knew you were going to wake up eventually. Still unconcious, you rummaged around restlessly, quivering everytime a flash flickered in the night sky. Then, when the rolling thunder roared through the city, you woke up, sitting straight in bed with a racing heart. You rubbed your eyes quickly before looking out of the window. A few seconds passed and you didn't dare to breathe, when you realized what was going on. A thunderstorm... The mere thought of seeing the flashes of the lightning shook you to your core.

Jumin watched you with dark eyes, eventually he reached out for the small of your back, softly brushing over the shirt you wore.

"shhhh, it's ok, M, it's just a thunderstorm." He whispered into the darkness, that was only lit when a new thunderbolt flashed across the sky. "Breathe, M" You whimpered, when his hand stroked over your neck and landed on your shoulder. The weight of his hand brought you back to earth. He was there with you. You are safe, unless...

After all these years you still didn't know why you were so afraid of thundestorms, everytime one appeared you didn't dare to move, especially when you were alone at nighttime, and you could only fall back to sleep when it was long gone.

But right now, you weren't alone. His scent, his voice, his touch. Everything reminded you of him. And it calmed you down. Much to your relief his scent lingered everywhere in his bedroom, this light fragrance of luxurious sandalwood and cedar wood, his perfume. He didn't wear too much of it, because strong smells sometimes triggered his migraine, but it was always there.

You lied back down and snuggled into his chest, breathing in. Smelling him made your heart skip, this odor he carried around with him day by day, like a light breeze on a rainy autumn day. His skin felt so soft and cool against your own.

"you're safe with me, M." Jumin says with a raspy voice, pulling you closer to him. Eventually the young man kissed the crown of your hair whenever a new flash lit the room, whispering soothing words into your curly hair every now and then.

To calm you down he tried to even his breath, still brushing over your back, and after a small time you shivered under his touch, enjoying the feeling of the spreading goosebumps.

"Jumin?" You broke the silence after a while. The thunderstorm seemed to be long gone, you could still hear it growl far far away from your place and you felt safe, for now.

"hm?" He hummed, sounding like he was only half awake.

"i'm sorry i always get so anxious when there is a thunderstorm." You sighed and started drawing circles on his chest. His heartbeat raced for a few moments, but fell back into pace, after he got used to your warm touch.

"it's ok, M, don't worry about it my love."

"i'm glad i got you next to me."

"i know." He yawned and made efforts to change his position, you changed yours too, and not even a second after that you felt him right behind you again.

The dark haired man put his arms around you, pulling you closer to his body, his strong arms wrapped around you to keep you away from all harm.

"Jumin?" You asked again.

"hm?" Jumin moaned.

"I love you." You whispered and kissed his hand. Your fingers softly brushed over his arm.

"Thank you, I love you too, my dear, now sleep well." He pressed one last kiss into the small of your neck, before he finally fell asleep, his face nuzzled against your shoulders, lips pressed on your skin.

[queenxxxsupreme]

Heeeey you absolutely queen of writing 😍 hope you're doing ok. Can I request prompts 2 and 35 from the angst prompt list for Eskel x reader, please?

A/N: Aw babe you’re too sweet! This was longer than I expected it to bed XD Thank you thank you thank you to my hubby @writingawaymylife for helping me with the ending and with literally everything else. 

Warning: Angst, mentions of blood, no comfort, sadness

Eskel hadn’t moved for the last three hours. He sat in a chair across the room from your bed, his elbows on his parted knees and his hands over his ears. His head hung as he tried to fight off the dark thoughts clouding his mind. 

Your screams echoed in his ears, sending chills down his spine and making his stomach twist into knots. You begged for him to help you, to save you from the bruxa that had taken you hostage. His enhanced hearing was a curse. 

He could still smell your metallic blood and salty tears. The image of you laying on the floor covered in crimson burned his eyes. There was so much blood that Eskel was sure you’d bleed out in a matter of seconds.

With tears in your eyes, you had managed to lift your head, weak and trembling. A ghost of a smile, fleeting and relieved, flickering on to your bloody lips. Your witcher was there, your savior had come to rescue you. But was he too late?

A hand on his shoulder made the witcher flinch. He lifted his head from his hands then turned his head to look at Geralt, who knelt beside him. 

“You need to go change your shirt.” The White Wolf said, encouraging his brother with a hand on the shoulder. 

The chest of the brunet witcher’s gray tunic was covered in your blood. 

“No. I’m-I’m not leaving until she wakes up.”

“You have a while.” Yennefer said, glancing over to the two wolves. “She won’t be waking for hours. A day at the very least.”

Still, Eskel shook his head. He was too stubborn to leave the room. 

He couldn’t look over to the mage, afraid he’d catch sight of your mauled, pale body. 

“Is she going to be okay?”

“It’s too soon to tell. It’s only been five or so hours since she was attacked. With the spell I’ve put her under, her body will produce blood at a quick pace as well as heal the damage done to her organs. She lost so much she was nearly dead.”

“I know.” Eskel muttered, rubbing his eyes.

“Don’t worry, Eskel.” Lambert spoke. For once, his tone was serious. “Y/N’s strong. She’ll pull through.”

Eskel said nothing. 

***

Quiet chatter pulled you from your slumber. Your eyes fluttered open to find yourself staring at a ceiling. 

Lambert was the first to notice your change in breathing, to hear the way you took a slightly deeper breath than what was normal. He stood to his feet and moved to your bedside. 

“Welcome to the land of the living.”

“Hi, Lambert.” Your voice was raspy and your throat burned. 

“How do you feel, Y/N?” Yennefer’s voice came from somewhere in the room. 

You lifted your head, wincing just slightly. 

“Worse than I did that time I took an arrow to the stomach in Redania.” You admitted. 

Lambert helped you sit up, sturdy hands providing support where you needed. Geralt placed pillows behind your back so you could lean against them. 

You thanked both witchers and looked around the room. 

Yennefer stood at the foot of your bed, one hand resting on the wooden footboard. Jaskier and Geralt were crowding the chest that sat at the foot of your bed. Lambert had returned to his chair near the White Wolf and the bard. 

You were about to ask for Eskel when your eyes caught sight of him. He stood by the door, brows drawn together just slightly as he watched you. He seemed hesitant on moving, like one wrong move would make you disappear. 

You could see the way he locked his jaw, see the muscle pulling taut beneath his lightly tanned skin. His fingers curled into fists by his sides. 

If he would’ve been able to, he would be crying now. But witchers couldn’t cry. They were physically incapable of it. That didn’t mean that Eskel didn’t feel the burning in his nose or the sting in his eyes or the ache in his chest. It was there, just unaccompanied by tears. 

“Eskel.” His name fell from your lips in a soft murmur. You were a little confused. Why was he not by your bedside? Why hadn’t he been the first one you saw? 

“We’ll give you both some time-,”

“No.” Eskel cut Jaskier off, pausing for just a second to clear his throat. “No. I-I need to go.”

“Eskel, wait!” You tried to call for him but your voice was just a squeak. Tears sprung to your eyes quicker than you could register. 

“He’s just….” Geralt tried to explain but he couldn’t find the right words.

“He was afraid he lost you.” Jaskier helped out, giving you a soft smile that did little to comfort you. “We all were.”

“But why-why did he go?” Your eyes remained where your witcher had once been. “I-I just-I….”

You wanted him to hold you, to kiss you and tell you that he was there to keep you safe. You wanted to be in his arms and to know that you’d be safe so long as he was there.

“I’ll go check on him.” Lambert sighed, slipping out of the room.

“It’s probably best that he doesn’t go alone.” Yennefer said, her words directed to Geralt.

“Right.” The witcher nodded.

You brought your gaze down to your hands, eyes closing tightly as you tried to think of what could be going through his head.

***

You had been up for three hours now, chatting quietly with Jaskier and doing whatever Yennefer asked of you. 

Jaskier was telling you a story about one of his times in Cidaris when he trailed off from his story. There was shouting from somewhere outside of the room. 

“You fucking idiot, Eskel! Why the hell would you do that?” Lambert’s loud voice could be heard. 

“Lambert, I don’t have a choice-,” Eskel tried to protest but the young witcher wasn’t having it.

“Like hell you do!”

“Enough!” Geralt’s baritone voice drowned out Lambert’s. 

You looked at the door, brows drawing together. 

“What’s wrong with them?” You asked quietly, hoping Yennefer had the answer.

“Hard to tell with those three.” Yennefer said. 

Eskel appeared in the very doorway that you were looking at. 

“Come on, Jaskier.” Yennefer moved towards the door, brushing past the witcher. 

Jaskier gave you a smile and a pat on the leg before he left. 

You chewed your bottom lip, fingers fisting the blankets so tightly you were sure you’d break one of them. 

Eskel stayed in the doorway, eyes on you. The longer you held his gaze, the more you felt your composure slipping away. The fear you felt when the bruxa had you, the absolute terror that ran through your veins at the thought of never being able to see him again. 

“Please-Please just…. just hold me.” You practically whimpered. You were trembling, shaking in fear. Had you done something wrong? Why was he avoiding you? Why had he said nothing to you when you woke up?

Eskel knew it was better to just stay there, to keep distance between you two while he told you what needed to be done. However, the irrational part of him that longed to feel your lips upon his cheek and to smell your floral scent told him to hug you. He was allowed to share one last hug with you before he left. 

He crossed the room cautiously before sitting down on the edge of the bed next to you. The sight of your Y/C/E eyes filled with tears made his chest hurt and ache. 

“I-I’m sorry that-that I scared you.” You whispered. You wanted to throw yourself into his arms and bury your face in his neck. But you knew how flighty he was, how easy it was to spook him. You didn’t want to do anything that might cause him to run again. 

“You have nothing to be sorry for, doll.” His rough voice was quiet as he embraced you in a hug. 

You melted into his arms, ignoring the stinging pain in your abdomen as you wrapped your arms beneath his. You were thankful for Yennefer’s magic. Because of it, you weren’t able to feel the excruciating pain of your ribs having been broken in numerous places. 

You buried your face in his chest where his tunic was unlaced, tucking your nose into the base of his neck where his collarbone was. Your tears were warm against his cold flesh, your hair tickling his skin. 

He rubbed your back for a moment before bringing his hand up to cradle the back of your head, holding you close. He hid his nose in your hair, eyes closing tightly as he breathed in your scent. 

“I-I was so scared.” You hiccuped. “I didn’t think I’d-that I’d ever see you again.”

He softly hushed you, whispering into your hair that he loved you and that you would be safe. 

After what felt like hours but could have only been a few minutes, you pulled your head from his chest to look into his honey eyes. His hand came up to cup your face, the rough pad of his thumb brushed a tear from your cheek. 

“Y/N…. I don’t…. I don’t think it’s wise that I see you anymore.” His words, though quiet and timid, hurt you more than any bruxa ever could’ve. 

Your breath caught in your throat, your heart stuck there, preventing you from breathing. You shook your head, brows drawing together as you gripped the sleeves of his tunic, now terrified to let him go.

“I know it won’t be easy-,”

“Eskel, no. No, no, no. This-This doesn’t have to happen.” You cut him off, your words coming out a jumbling mess.

“Yes, it does.” He carefully pried both of your hands off of him and stood up. “I-I can’t see you like that again. Covered in…. Almost dead.”

There was a voice in his head, screaming at him for doing this. You were the only light in his life, the only solace he’d ever been able to find in the hellish world. 

But he knew this was what was right for you. It didn’t matter how he felt. This was for your safety and wellbeing. He couldn’t live with himself if you died.

“But I-I didn’t die, Eskel! I’m-I’m right here! I’m here!” You reached out to take his hand but he pulled away. You drew your hand back to your chest as if he burned you. The way he pulled away made your stomach twist up into knots, a storm beginning to brew. “Eskel, my love-,”

“If you had died, Y/N, I would’ve….” He shook his head, turning his back to you as he ran a hand through his hair. 

“Eskel, but you love me! And I-I love you! More than I can ever tell you.”

“I love you. That’s why I can’t do this to you. I can’t keep you.”

“Please, Eskel, just please let-let me choose what I want!” You cried. “I’m afraid to live without you!”

“Are you afraid to die?” He turned to face you, those golden eyes you loved so much hardened. He was shutting down, pushing you away. That would make it easier for him to leave. “Because that’s what will happen to you if you stay with me.”

“I’m not afraid to die.” You shook your head. “I’m only afraid to lose you.”

The witcher shook his head, turning once more to leave the room.

“Eskel, wait!”

He stopped in his tracks but didn’t turn to face you.

“If-If you are honest about wanting to do this, just give me one last kiss.” You murmured, tears trailing down your cheeks. You brushed them away with the back of your hand. “Please.”

He turned around to face you, golden eyes gazing at you intently. He breathed deeply, doing his damnedest to keep the pain and anger at bay. He needed to stay controlled. He needed to do this. 

You were shaking like a frightened fawn, glossy eyes watching him, silently begging him to change his mind. Your fingers tightly fisted the blanket you were covered with. Your heart raced with panic. What would you do without him? 

His shoulders rose and fell with a heavy breath. Then he crossed the room. 

You were afraid to reach out and touch him first, to scare him away. So you let him make contact first, his large and calloused hands cupping your face and tilting your head up so he could once more look into your eyes. 

Seeing you so afraid and so upset was almost enough to make him change his mind. But then his thumb brushed across your cheekbone where a bruise rested. He locked his jaw for a moment, reminding himself why this was happening. You needed to be safe. 

“This is for you.” He murmured, warm breath flushing over your face. 

“I don’t want this.” You barely whispered, voice cracking as you gently shook your head in his hands. One of your hands came up to hold his wrist, the other finding the back of his neck to pull him into you. 

Your lips met with a bruising force. You would miss him, his touch, his taste, his scent, his voice. The bristles of his scruff scratched against your soft cheek as you gripped him firmly, afraid to let go. 

Your sweet scent filled his senses, making him forget everything for a moment. His rigid form loosened beneath your touch. His tongue traced across your bottom lip before he kissed you once more. 

Eskel’s kisses always had the ability to make things better, to calm you down or cheer you up. But this time, all you could feel was fear and abandonment. 

He pulled away but kept within inches of your face. 

“Please, Eskel. Think it over.”

His eyes opened to look at you. Your eyes were still shut but a tear was running down your cheek. 

You immediately found him when your eyes opened. His yellow gaze was hardened, devoid of emotion. You hated that he was so good at that, so good at pushing his emotions to the side even though he knew it would do him no good.

Silence fell between you, tense and scary. He pulled away from you, gently prying your hand off of him and stepping away. He let out a sigh, his brows drawn together in pain. He shook his head. You could see the pain seep on to his face. He didn’t want this either. 

For a split second, you felt joy and relief, thinking he changed his mind. 

But then he took two more steps back, bringing his hand up to his face. 

“I’ve had plenty of time to think this through.” 

You wanted nothing more than to follow him, to chase after him and make him listen to you. But you were bound to the bed, unable to get up because of your injuries. You were trapped, watching the love of your life walk away while there was nothing you could do about it.

Your muscles ached with how tense you were and how you were shaking as if you were freezing cold. You weren’t sure if it was from the pain from your wounds or if it was from the pain of your chest. 

The door closed quietly behind Eskel, and another silence consumed the room, consumed you. 

Your eyes remained on the door as you hoped and prayed that it would open again, that he would come back and fix what he had done. 

The door stayed shut, and the silence reigned.

Taglist: @pressedinthepages @MishaFaye  @whitewolfandthefox @ayamenimthiriel @c-a-v-a-l-r-y @wolfyland07  @belalugosisdead @persephonehemingway @romancebibliophilia @keira-hulmaster @dinonuggs69 @greatestauthorofmygeneration @shadow-hunters-lover @dancingwith-thesunflowers @tedi-fach-las @thecomfortofoldstorries @raspberrydreamclouds @natkowaa @disasteren @weathervanes-my-oneandlonely @onlyhenrys @crazybutconfidentaf @wackylurker @criminaly-supernatural  @Magpie343 @permanently-exhausted-witcher @hina-chans-stuff @the-space-between-heartbeats @havenoffandoms @carriebee1 @ger-bearofrivia @naominami @thefirelordm @writingawaymylife @reaganjenelle @badassspaceprincess @theawkwardpedestrian @scarlettwitcher @runawayolives @badassspaceprincess @just-a-sad-donut @summersong69 @an--actual--human--disaster @she-wolfoftheinquisition

[cicici03]

Just Listen- Chapter 1

Hi everyone,

So this is my first time writing my on imagines and/ or series. I want to thank @l-auteuse​ for telling me that I should just write this bad puppy out. I’m just going give a warning. I am very horrible at seeing some  my grammatical mistakes because I talk fast and do not stop. So if you see any please dm me or just politely leave a nice message! Plus I am going to make sure that my grammatical mistakes will gradually lower over the time of this writing journey. With that, I hope you enjoy!

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“No that is not how the papers should be Angelo” shouted Cierra while on the phone. While rubbing his eyes from sleep, Trevante looked at his wife which he has been married to for five years. While watching her pace back and forth with her assistant Angelo on the phone, Trevante just smiles to himself.

Looking at her skin that is deep like rich coco with a hint of golden on her cheeks. With her sweatpants and sports bra showing off her tone midriff. With his eyes landing on the one thing that made him feel a little pain in his lower region: her backside.

While Cierra was rummaging through her bag for some papers, Trevante creeped behind her and gave a little slap on the backside. Cierra snatched her head around and coldly stated “Tre, not right now! I am looking for something important for this new deal with the producers. So, can you just please leave me alone!”. Tre looked at his wife with much disgusted with her attitude.

Cierra is a very successful screenwriter in Hollywood. She has built her company, Ebonixs, to be something that all producers come to sought out new ideas and something that is to help diversify Hollywood.

Cierra been working on this company since she been married to Tre: he knew that. He was there for her through the thick and thin. Now that she has finally reached the top, he felt like the family was second to her job.

After that exchange between the two, Tre walk downstairs to the kitchen to fix breakfast. As he was taking out the ingredients, he heard little footsteps run down to the kitchen. “Is somebody there” Trevante playful asking.

The little footsteps automatically stop, and everything went silent. “Well I must be hearing things” Tre stated while cracking the eggs into the bowl. While whisking the eggs, the little footsteps where running again. This time the little footsteps ran full force ahead for Tre. Quickly, turn a rounded and catch the little person into his arms.

Plopping kisses all over the little person cheeks and tickling her, Trevante morning start to light back up. “Daddy, stop. I am going to pee on myself.” screamed Amya, the youngest out of their three kids, at the top of her lungs. Amaya came five years ago at Tre and Cierra’s wedding. With her wild hair all over the place, Tre put her down and went to refrigerator to get her milk.

“Well Amya that is what happen to kids who try to scare their dad.” said Trevante while handing her milk to her. The little girl giggled at her dad while running to the table to sit down where her coloring book was left at from last night.

While going back and fixing up the rest of the food, Amya and Tre heard footsteps and arguing coming down the stairs. Both looked at each other smiling and started to shake their heads. “Jakob you are so annoying. My friend does not want your ugly self!” exclaimed Mia finally entering the kitchen with Jakob on her heels. “Dad tell you daughter, that everybody says I look like you! If I am ugly then that means she is calling you ugly too.” Jakob uttered to his dad while sitting by Amaya.

“Y’all both need to stop! Plus, Mi-Mi why you always doing the men of the house wrong!” laughed Tre while giving a kiss to the forehead to Mia. “Daddy, I am only disrespecting the person who only have one hair for a mustache.” quickly stated back to her father. All Trevante could do was laughed. While giving everyone their plates, Trevante finally looked at his watch to see the time: 6:42.

“You guys need to go and eat so yall won’t be late for school.” stated Trevante while rushing to clean up the dishes. While back upstairs, Cierra was about to get ready to walk out the door. “Cierra, you really need to take a break from work. That is why I am here as Vice President and mostly your friend to tell you when you need to take off.” Logan advised her friend.

Logan been friends with Cierra since their middle school days. They became closer after Logan’s parents died, and Cierra’s parents brought her into their family. Logan knew that her friend was the definition of a hard-working, black women. With that, Logan could also see how Trevante was started to become frustrated with Cierra about working.

“Why do I need to take a break Logan. To please Trevante?” she questioned while putting on her classic Louboutin heels. “He should be the main person that understands why I work this hard. I am doing something for all black actors and actress all over Hollywood. I do not need this morning!” exclaimed Cierra while walking downstairs to the kitchen.

“Well just think about its Cierra. You really think you got it all together, but you do not. Trevante is really getting tired of it, and he could be gone before your eyes.” muttered Logan, hoping the friend did not hear the last part.

However, Cierra heard it loud and clear, which led Cierra to dogging her friend with questions. “Logan, what you mean by that? Have Tre said anything to you?” Cierra spluttered to Logan before getting to kitchen. “Cierra, you know I got to see if Ariah is up. I love you a bunch sugar lump!” Logan hurrying to get off the phone due to igniting a flame in the Rhodes’s household.

“Mom you finally are downstairs! Can you please tell your daughter to give me her friends number?” Jakob looked at his mom for assistance. Still baffled from the conversation with Logan, Cierra did not answer Jakob question.

With a couple seconds going by and Cierra rumbling through the refrigerator, Jakob turned back to his food defeat and crying angry tears at his mom. Mia looked at her brother with much sadness and pat him on his hand. Mia finally looked at her dad for help, and she never saw so much anger on his face ever since the incident with the golf cart.

“Cierra, did you not hear what Jakob said?” Trevante scowled with much demand in his voice. Everybody except Amya, who was in her own world, looked at Cierra. “Isn’t time for the kids to go to school.” Cierra grabbing her lunch she packed and heading to the garage.

Trevante look at his watch that read, 7:15, which made him curse under his breath. “Everybody put on their uniforms and finish getting ready. While the kids, rushed up the stairs, Trevante ran to the garage to catch up to Cierra.

Before Cierra could back out in her Telsa, she looked up and saw a furious Trevante walking towards her. Yanking the door open, Trevante gave a piece of his mind. “What the fuck was that Cierra. You are really pissing me off! It is one thing to be angry with me and punishing me, but it is a different situation when you bring the kids in to it!” Tre seethed with every word coming out his mouth.

It made him even angrier, when looking at the woman he has been with since he was sixteen years old: on her phone texting. It was not her regular phone, it was the phone that ruin birthdays, vacations, and date nights: her work phone. Tre snatch the phone out of her hand and read what she was sending.

                                                           January 17, 7:00 a.m.

Mike:

When are you going be at work? Has the hubby got you lock away again?

Cierra:

Haha very funny, he does not, and I should be there soon! I can not wait to see you again!☺️

Mike:

I can not wait to see you! You make my week exciting! 🤪

Cierra:

You do too! Make me wish I reconsider

“First of all, who the hell is Mike, and tell me how you were going to finish that text.” Trevante looking at his wife, who had a nonchalant look, with tears in his eyes. “Can you give me my phone back.” Cierra asked while not daring to look into her husband’s eyes. “Cierra look at me!” Trevante bang on the roof of the car. “Answer the damn questions!” screamed Trevante with tears coming down his eyes.

Cierra finally looked up and saw her husband face, but out of her peripheral, she saw the kids in their school uniforms looking at their parents in shock: especially their father. “Tre, the kids are here.” mumbled Cierra trying to not it makes obvious.

“Amaya, I know you did not potty like you should. Jakob, I know you forgot to grab your football uniform for picture day. Mia, I know you forgot to grab your P.E clothes.” Trevante recited to the kids while looking at his wife with sadness. That led the kids to scrambled off to get those important items.

Cierra looked at the clock, 7:45, needing to get to work for her meeting. “I need my phone.” Cierra looking at the bikes hanging on the racks in the garage. Trevante back away from the car, which brought Cierra to look up at him. With all the force he had, Tre threw it to the ground looking directly in Cierra eyes.

Walking back to the car, Trevante handed the phone back to her. “I hope you and Mike have a great meeting and I hope what you are reconsidering is a new office space. Not reconsidering, this marriage and your kids.”  Tre whispered in her ear. With making sure all her limbs were in the car, Trevante slammed the door, which made the car shook a little.

Cierra looked at him with much surprise and shock by the force. Trevante turn his back towards his wife and went into the house. While the garage door raised up, Cierra was left in her thoughts. With not one being about the situation that happen at hand.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

[princessamericachavez]

Fjorester moments in episode 72

WHAT A FREAKING GOOD EPISODE MY DUDES AND DUDETTES AND OTHERS

It was so wonderful in the best of ways, especially as a Fjord fan. 

I don’t even know where to start to break it down because SO MUCH happened! So be ready for a lot of rambling and screaming 

Cad: *Talking about how the Clay, Dust and Stone families were friends and allies once*

Jester: And lovers!

Fjord: Okay, Jessie. Just... pace it. 

Jester: They had a big orgy of Clay, Dust and Stone!

Fjord: Okay, the mist is getting to you a little quick here. 

I LOVE THIS BANTER SO MUCH IT’S SO FUNNY

FJORD IS SO AWKWARD AND SHE’S SO ADORABLE

also also

I STILL DIE EVERY TIME HE CALLES HER ‘JESSIE’

Fjord: I walk [into the water]

Jester: No, don’t walk in! Just put your finger in or something!

SHE’S SO WORRIED ABOUT HER IMPULSIVE DUMBASS 

POOR GIRL 

I think it’s low-key hilarious though that Jester, for all she can be a source of chaos in the group, has to turn into the voice of reason when it comes to Fjord’s impulses. 

It’s a funny little switch in their roles.

Jester helping Fjord with the falchion when he gets stuck. 

My favorite bit of that, though, it’s Matt’s narration because it makes it extra shippy? Like, it was just an assist and suddenly they are holding hands??

Matt: So as you’re about to wedge it out and lift, Jester walks over and puts her hands over yours and pushes in. 

Nice nice nice nice nice

Thank you, Mr. Mercer

Fjord: *starts to freeze because he put his head inside the water*

Jester: Aw :( Beau! Take care of- put the rod to Fjord’s head. 

Fjord: There’s really no need it’s just a- ahh

Jester: Is that better?

SHE’S ALWAYS TAKING CARE OF HIM AND IT’S SO SOFT AND REALLY I’VE SAID THIS BEFORE BUT FJORD GREW UP THINKING NO ONE WOULD LOOK AFTER HIM LIKE THIS AND NOW- NOW SHE’S THERE ALWAYS

Jester: Should we just, like, talk to the ghosts and let them know that we’re nice?

Fjord: Jester, you’re very... affable, why don’t you give them a word?

Jester: uh... hey ghosts!

IT’S THE HESITATION BEFORE THE WORD AFFABLE THAT KILLS ME GUYS

WHAT WAS HE GOING TO SAY? CUTE? ENDEARING? SWEET? NICE? SO MANY WORDS HE COULD’VE CHOSEN 

Fjord: *rolls his eyes at Jester reading Tusk Love*

Jester: Maybe I should not read this book anymore. 

Fjord: Distractions are good. Let’s keep going. Keep reading. 

Jester: Uhhh you want me to keep reading, alright. 

Fjord: It’s... not...

FJORD IS INTO TUSK LOVE CONFIRMED

Party: *discussing if the ghosts are following Cad or the group*

Fjord: One went up to Jester, though. 

WORRIED HUBBY IS WORRIED

this is, yet again, an instance of: Fjord pays extra attention to anything concerning Jester.

Jester using her eagle form to go for Fjord and Beau because they are og trio and she’s always here for them??? yessss

Jester: convinces the dawrves to let her write on their lore book

Cad: They can be a lot but I definitely vouch for them. 

Fjord: Aw, that’s nice Caduceus is vouching for you, Jester.

Jester: Yes, it really is!

Cad: Oh no.

FJORD + CLERICS IS SUCH A WONDERFUL DYNAMIC EVERY SINGLE TIME

Jester downright writing Captain Turkstooth fanfiction in the lore book —which will probably be considered Non-Fiction by future Dust generations. 

AND NOW

HERE WE GOOOO

FOR THE BIG CONVERSATION

OH BOY SO MUCH TO TALK ABOUT

Fjord: Hey, Jester. 

Jester: Yeah?

Fjord: You still got that thing where you send messages to people? 

Jester: Yeah! 

Fjord: You got any left of those?

Jester: Yeah, I got a bunch of them. 

I’M ALREADY SCREAMING, REMEMBER HOW EMO I’VE BEEN ABOUT HIM BEING MINDFUL OF HER SPELLSLOTS WHEN IT COMES TO THIS THE PAST SEVERAL WEEKS?

Fjord: Can I- Can I ask, like, a favor?

Jester: Of course! You can ask anything, Fjord. 

LISTEN LISTEN LISTEN SHE WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR HIM, SHE’S EVEN SURPRISED HE HAS TO ASK

Fjord: If I, like, conjured an image of what Vandran looks like, could you send him a message?

Jester: I could try, yeah. 

THIS IS SO IMPORTANT FOR FJORD. HE’S KNOWN FOR SO LONG AND HAS BEEN HOLDING BACK FROM TELLING ANYONE. 

Honestly, I wonder what pushed him to finally make that call. If it was something from their chaotic past couple days or something else that made him finally reach out. 

I mean, I HOPED with all my heart that he would go to Jester for a message, but that was like WAY BACK WHEN THE PIRATE ARC ENDED and now here we are like 30 episodes later but it finally happened!

Jester: What do you want me to say to him?

Fjord: Would you just ask him- tell him that I’m okay and if- 

Fjord: I don’t know. 

Jester:

HE’S SO NERVOUS AND SHE’S SO SOFT FOR HIM 

Fjord: I wanna know how he’s doing but- Caduceus check in with the Wild Mother and said he’s trying to attone for his past. I don’t know. Maybe he doesn’t care to be found. 

Jester: Maybe he doesn’t know you’re alive, either. Maybe he’s been searching for you. 

Fjord: Guess that’s right. 

I KNOW JESTER IS BEING ALMOST TOO POSITIVE RIGHT HERE BUT SHE’S SAYING WHAT FJORD, DEEP IN HIS HEART, WANTS TO BELIEVE AND SHE JUST WANTS IT TO BE TRUE TOO SHE WANTS HIM TO BE HAPPY

Fjord: Would you do me a solid and just... do what you do?

Jester: Sure!

LOOK AT THE FONDNESS IN HIS FACE I CAN’T

Jester: Oh, I hope I’m not bothering him after what you guys said, maybe- It’s fine. 

Jester: Hello! You don’t know me. I’m here with Fjord. He wants you to know he’s okay, and he’s thinking about you. Where can he find you?

Vandran: You said you know Fjord. Hah. Haven’t heard that name in a while. Glad he’s doing well. Let him know I’m okay, retired on an island. Good folks, he’d like it.

LISTEN EITHER VANDRAN IS FULL ON LYING or he’s doing that thing that Fjord has been trying so hard to emulate —keeping emotional distance and not showing any weaknesses. I honestly believe that Vandran cares about Fjord and was delighted to hear he’s okay, but he’s not just going to say it like that, especially to a stranger. 

It really puts into perspective how guarded Fjord has been with the Nein while trying to emulate his mentor. 

Fjord: Sounds like he’s okay. 

THAT LINE KILLS ME BECAUSE HE SMILES BUT THERE’S SO MUCH PAIN IN HIS VOICE

Jester: He retired to an island?

Fjord: God, I’ve been so- I feel like I need to find him and I just don’t know if that’s important... to him. Don’t know if it’s important to me, we’ve done so much. 

THIS IS SUCH A BIG DEAL, ESPECIALLY COMING FROM FJORD AND HOW HARD IT IS FOR HIM TO TALK ABOUT HIS FEELINGS AND STRUGGLES

This really calls back to their talk post-Plank King trial, where he also opened up about how hurt he was by Vandran’s hidden past. 

He only ever talks like this with her... and maybe Cad. 

Jester: Yeah, but- I mean... the way you talked about him. If you need to find him, then you need to find him. 

THIS IS SO IMPORTANT TO ME, HONESTLY, BECAUSE FJORD IS SO QUICK TO LET GO OF HIS PAST BUT JESTER PUT SO MUCH WEIGHT ON HER FEELINGS SHE REMINDS HIM HERE THAT HIS FEELINGS MATTER TOO AND THAT HE SHOULD LISTEN TO HIS HEART

Fjord: I feel like I need to find him because I feel like I owe him, but if he doesn’t feel like that, maybe it’s all in my head. 

Jester: You know, messages are hard, because you can’t see the person’s face. It did take him quite a while to respond.

Fjord: Right.

Jester: or all he knows, I could be someone bad trying to get a response out of him. He might not want to reveal too much. 

Fjord: Sure.... he was smart like that. 

YOU CAN SEE HIS WHOLE BODY LANGUAGE CHANGE AS SHE MANAGES TO CHEER HIM UP, GIVE HIM A SLIVER OF HOPE JUST WHEN HE’S FEELING FORGOTTEN AND UNIMPORTANT

Fjord: Thank you.

HE ALWAYS SOUNDS SO SURPRISED BY HER KINDNESS

Fjord: It’s been a long time. I just don’t know if what I wanted before is the same thing I want now. 

HE SAYS AND RIGHT AFTER HE SENDS HER A LOOK LIKE PLS TRAVIS HAVE SOME MERCY

I AM MARISHA’S EYES EMOJI

Jester: How are you doing? You were very quiet when we were in Nicodranas. You stood on the ocean and didn’t say anything. 

Fjord: I feel like we’ve all changed.

Jester: Yeah

Fjord: Me especially.

Jester:

THAT FACE AND THAT LITTLE SIGH SHE LETS OUT, LIKE SHE WANTS TO DENY IT BUT ALSO FEARS DEEP DOWN THAT IT’S TRUE

Fjord: He’s such a brave man and he did so much for me, I just wanted to emulate that.

Jester: I know.

THERE’S SUCH A PAINFUL EAGERNESS IN HIS VOICE AS HE TALKS ABOUT WHY HE WAS EMULATING VANDRAN. LIKE HE NEEDS HER TO UNDERSTAND HIS REASONS, THAT HE WASN’T JUST LYING, THAT IT CAME FROM A GOOD PLACE.

AND SHE SMILES AND SAYS ‘I KNOW’

OF COURSE SHE DOES

SHE’S ALWAYS KNOWN, WHICH IS WHY DEEP DOWN SHE ALWAYS KNEW HE WAS A GOOD MAN

EVEN WHEN HIS DISTANT PERSONA MADE HER SECOND GUESS IT

THIS IS HER SAYING “I UNDERSTAND, IT’S OKAY” AND IT MEANS THE WORLD

Fjord: Repay that, pay it forward. I don’t know. I feel like I’ve been so obsessed with this sword and how I got it, and Uk’otoa and the whole thing and I just feel like there’s more out there. It’s always more. Even Port Damali and before that, my world just got bigger and bigger and bigger and- The more time goes on, the more you realize there is and the more we affect and the more we can be affected. 

THIS CONFESSION KILLS ME BECAUSE IT SEEMS TO LOUDLY ECHO JESTER’S OWN PAIN AND ISSUES, THE SAME FRUSTRATION WITH HOW HARSH AND HURTFUL THE WORLD CAN BE

THEIR LIVES EXPERIENCES SEEM SO DIFFERENT BUT AT THE SAME TIME THEY ARE SO SIMILAR IN THEIR LONELINESS AND BOTH OF THEM FIGURING OUT THIS CRAZY WORLD TOGETHER

Fjord: And there’s a part of me that just wants to leave it all... behind?

AND THE WAY HE SAYS IT. HE SUDDENLY LOOKS UP TO HER AND ALL BUT REACHES OUT. 

THERE’S JUST A HINT OF YEARNING THERE THAT DESTROYS ME.

For someone who’s been so vocal about how much he loves this new version of himself and this life he has with his friends, this is probably the deepest confession, something he says almost ashamed, like he expects to hear he’s crazy... but Jester understands him so deeply, she’s as usual on the same page. 

Jester: Go somewhere quiet and disappear, and hope that it never bothers you again?

Fjord: Yeah.

Jester: Yeah, I understand that. 

IT’S SUCH A BEAUTIFUL FANTASY FOR THE TWO OF THEM, JUST FINDING A QUIET PLACE SOMEDAY AND LEAVING IT ALL BEHIND

LIKE IMAGINE IF THEY THROWBACK TO THIS BY THE END OF THE CAMPAIGN 

AND HE ASKS ‘SO HOW ABOUT THAT QUIET PLACE?’ OR SOMETHING

Fjord: I just don’t think it will let me. I feel like I’m trying to force someone that’s not gonna happen on its own. 

BUT OF COURSE, THE MAGIC BREAKS BECAUSE REALITY IS WEIGHING HIM DOWN AND HE CAN’T EVEN DREAM ABOUT BEING AT PEACE, OF MAYBE RUNNING AWAY WITH HER ONE DAY. 

Jester: do you feel scared when you think of Uk’otoa?

Fjord: I try not to think of... Uk’otoa. 

Jester: I mean, that’s where your magical powers came from, yeah?

Fjord: Yeah. 

Jester: You can’t escape that.

AND THIS. LADYS, GENTS AND OTHERS, IS THE MOMENT WHEN IT GETS SCARY.

WHEN JESER LAVORRE LOSES HER EVER OPTIMIST OUTLOOK AND SAYS SOMETHING SO GRIM. 

But that’s also the moment, it seems, when Fjord FINALLY FINALLY FINALLY OPENS UP ABOUT SOMETHING THAT’S BEEN DRIVING HIM NUTS FOR WEEKS.

Fjord: They... left... for a little bit. 

Jester: What?

Fjord: There was a night. I woke up and the sword as on the floor and I- I couldn’t do anything. 

Jester: When was that?

Fjord: ......A while ago.

HE HESITATES SO MUCH IN THIS LITTLE BIT AND IT KILLS ME BECAUSE HE KNOWS SHE’S NOT GONNA BE HAPPY THAT HE KEPT IT A SECRET

Jester: Fjord! Why didn’t you say anything?!

Fjord: I didn’t know what to do.

THIS IS YET ANOTHER ADMISSION OF VULNERABILITY FROM FJORD AND IT’S SO UNUSUAL I LOVE HOW OPEN HE IS WITH HER

Jester: But it came back.

Fjord: In the middle of the day. We were setting that ambush and Yasha...

EXCUSE ME TRAVIS WILLINGHAM HOW DARE YOU

Fjord: Yasha was getting those bracers made and... they came back after a little bit but- I didn’t know if I was gonna run or what. 

I was fully expecting Jester to freak out at the possibility of Fjord running away, ngl, but instead we got like THE HEAVIEST MOMENT IN THIS CONVERSATION

The moment where Jester got even more serious. 

The moment where she finally asked the question that’s been eating her up for months. 

The moment of truth that probably triggered what happened later that same night and pushed Fjord to make the biggest change yet.

All from three questions.

Jester: How did you feel when they were gone?

Fjord: Terrified.

AND HE’S VULNERABLE AND PAINFULLY HONEST ABOUT IT.

Jester: Did you want them back?

Fjord: Yes.

Jester: Would you do anything to get them back?

AND THAT’S THE QUESTION, ISN’T IT??

THE WHOLE DEAL WITH THIS CONFLICT

THE MAKE IT OR BREAK IT

AND FJORD DOESN’T PEEL HIS EYES AWAY FROM HER FOR A SECOND, NOT EVEN WHEN HE TAKES A MOMENT LONGER TO REPLY, HE LOOKS HER IN THE EYE AND REPLIES WITH THE SAME HONESTY HE’S SHOWN HER FROM DAY ONE

Fjord: No

Jester: 

AND IN ANSWERING THAT QUESTION, I BELIEVE, FJORD SEALED HIS FATE. 

I don’t think he knew the answer, himself, until Jester asked, until faced with the choice right now and having to look at himself and be honest. 

And the answer is ‘no’. He won’t. And that means Uk’otoa can’t keep pushing him, blackmailing him, keeping him hostage. Because Fjord now knows, with all certainty, that no matter how desperate and terrified he feels without powers he will not give in. 

And that, it seems, is all he needs to know to free himself.

Fjord: No, but... I feel like I knew what I was doing and now I realize I had no idea.

Jester: You’re not the only one. 

Fjord: Yeah.

Fjord: Thank you. That might’ve been the... check in I needed.

THE CHECK IN HE NEEDED TO FINALLY FREE HIMSELF, IT SEEMS.

Also I love how he keeps thanking her?????

Jester: I wish I could be of more help, though.

Fjord: No, you have been. 

Fjord: I’ve known you the longest in this. 

Jester: 

I’M FREAKING SCREAMING WTF ÑLDJAFDLÑKAJFLÑAK

I’M FREAKING BLASTING SUNFLOWER AT FULL VOLUME

HIS VOICE IS SO SOFT AND WARM

HER SUPPORT MEANS SO DAMN MUCH TO HIM

I’M SOBBING

Jester: I mean... the Traveler gave me my powers. Maybe if you, you know, don’t follow Uk’otoa you could follow the Traveler! Or someone else who could give you powers that are even better!

LOOK AT THE WAY HE LOOKS AT HER WHILE SHE OFFERS HER OWN DEITY TO HIM TRYING TO FIND A WAY TO HELP HIM HE’S SO SOFT

Fjord: How do you feel about Caduceus’s deity?

Jester: The Wild Mother?

Fjord: Yeah, Melora.

FJORD IS ALMOST HESITANT IN HIS ASKING BUT HE’S LOOKING AT HER WITH THOSE WIDE EXPECTANT EYES AND GOD HE TRUSTS HER SO MUCH AND HER OPINION IS SO IMPORTANT TO HIM AND HE REALLY HONESTLY IS ASKING FOR HER THOUGHTS IN THIS SUPER INTIMATE MATTER BECAUSE SHE IS THE ONE WHO KNOWS HIM BEST AND I’M JUST-

Jester: I mean, I saw her. When I was bringing Caduceus back.

Fjord: You did?

Jester: Mhmm. She popped in for a second. She... she seemed pretty nice. And she brought him back from the dead, I mean that’s always a good thing. That’s pretty powerful stuff. 

Fjord: Yeah.

Jester: He talks to her a lot. Not as much as I talk to the Traveler, you know, cause The Traveler’s always got my back and stuff but I mean, as far as other gods go she’s pretty good one.

WHY ARE THEY SO CUTE I CAN’T

FJORD’S FACE LIKE “WELL JESTER I DON’T THINK ANYONE TALKS TO THEIR DEITY AS MUCH AS YOU DO” I MEAN

Fjord: Okay

Fjord: I’m gonna see if she’ll... take an interest? I don’t know.

Jester: Wow!

SHE’S SO EXCITED AND HAPPY FOR HIM I WANNA CRY

Fjord: I don’t know how it works.

Jester: Me neither! We should figure it out! This is our new mission!!

SHE’S SO ON BOARD. SO READY TO HELP.

IF FJORD NEEDS HER THEN SHE WILL POUR HERSELF IN THIS

LIKE SHE’S BEEN DOING SINCE DAY ONE

Fjord: This- this is?

Jester: Yeah, remember, originally we were just trying to get you to that stupid accademy! That place is stupid! I hate that place!

Fjord:

Fjord: I don’t- I don’t mind having a new... mission. But if it is, can we just not... you know... tell everybody about... 

Jester: Alright! We won’t tell everybody but you and I will know this is our new mission. 

SHE’S SO HAPPY AND EXCITED TO HAVE A SHARED SECRET MISSION WITH HIM

THEY ARE A TEAM. THEY LOOK OUT FOR EACH OTHER. 

DFJAÑDFLJA

Jester: I would do anything to get you away from Uk’otoa, okay?

LISTEN

LISTEN

LISTEN

THIS KINDA DECLARATION OF PROTECTION AND SUPPORT DESTROYED ME 

BUT ALSO

THINK OF THE POSSIBLE ANGST OF JESTER TRULY TRYING TO INTERVENE AND A CERTAIN DEMIGOD NOT TAKING KINDLY TO IT UH??

I WANT P A I N 

but for now just fluffiness

Fjord: Okay

Jester: Okay.

Jester: Thank you for talking to me, Fjord.

Fjord: Sure.

Jester: Your tusks look pretty good coming in, by the way.

Fjord: Thanks.

THE PERFECT CUTE AWKWARD NOTE TO END THIS LOVELY CONVERSATION WITH

AND THAT WOULD’VE BEEN ENOUGH

BUT OH NO

THEN THE ANGST WITH FJORD AND THE SWORD

LISTEN LISTEN LISTEN OKAY

so 

way back when fjord lost his powers and told no one

and then he got all affectioned with jester

Travis talked about how the scare made Fjord value her constancy in contrast to the powers that he’d valued so much so far and could just be taken away at any given moment

He realized, a few weeks ago in-game, how much more important she is to him

So to have had this talk with her and have her entire support, finally coming clean about what happened and voicing his wishes for change and her being absolutely ride or die for him... and then losing his powers?

I am convinced that her input had a lot of weight in his final decision. 

Her asking him if he would do anything to get his powers back and him finally realizing no, he wouldn’t, was such a freeing moment, realizing he had the power to not be hostage of Uk’otoa anymore because even if the deity held his powers back it would not get what it wants from him

When the moment comes, he says “you need me more than i need you” and that is finally true because as much as he thought he needed his powers to be someone and be important, he now knows that he has something far more constant and powerful on his side, and that gives him the upperhand against uk’otoa

And he’s finally made up his mind, there is a plan, and there is Jester who will not stop until she finds a way to help him. 

And i want to believe that the moment he hesitated right before throwing the falchion into the lava, his mind flew back to that conversation and it gave him the strength he needed to free himself

I don’t expect this is the last we’ll see of Uk’otoa trying to screw with Fjord, honestly, but with Jester’s firm declaration of support, I expect they will be a united front against him in the future —along with the rest of the Nein, probably. 

Which brings us to

The morning after

Jester: Fjord, do you want some of my bead?

Fjord *in his og accent*: Yes, thank you.

Jester:

Fjord: 

Jester:

Fjord:

LOOK AT THEM COMMUNICATING WITH LOOKS LFDKJAÑFLDAJ 

I LOVE THEM

Jester: Fjord.

Jester *whispering*: You’re not doing the accent! You forgot about it!

IT’S SO FREAKING HILARIOUS THAT JESTER THINKS FJORD JUST GOT UP ONE MORNING AND ENTIRELY FORGOT ABOUT THE FAKE ACCENT HE’S BEEN PUTTING UP FOR THE PAST 8 MONTHS

but it’s also adorable how she tried to warn him quickly, ever the protector of his secrets

Fjord: [To Beau, Cad and Nott] I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry to ght all of you. You [Caleb] caught up and [to Jester] you have known me the longest.

Jester:

Fjord: I haven’t been entirely foreright with you. I sound like this.

Jester: Well, yeah, I know.

Fjord: I know you know. 

Jester: oh

HE SOUNDS SO SOFT

I’M NOT READY TO LEARN ALL THE WAYS HE SOUNDS IN THIS ACCENT WHEN HE TALKS TO JESTER

ALSO THAT MARRIED BANTER IS SO CUTE

Nott: What do you mean you sound like this? Some times? All the time? Really?

Fjord: Most of my life, yes. 

Nott: What was that other thing you were doing?!

Jester: He was Vandran.

I LOVE THE CONTRAST

ABOUT HOW MUCH JESTER KNOWS

I think it might be good that he had this talk with Caleb before because he took this group confession much more in a stride, but he also didn’t know that it was Vandran’s accent iirc or that Jester knew, and the looks he was giving her were so much fun!

Jester [about his fake accent]: It was charming

Fjord: I threw the sword into the liquid steel last night.

Jester:

Jester: I thought you loved that sword!

[later]

Fjord: I talked to Jester just before we went to bed.

Fjord: And I said I felt like change was needed. I didn’t like feeling like a pawn or a puppet and I didn’t know where that was going to lead. Also, if that’s the last key before this thing is unleased why not destroy the fucking... key. So I threw it in.

Beau: So do you feel like you still have the balls inside of you?

Fjord: Let’s see. 

Fjord: *fails to disguise self*

Jester: What were you trying to do?

Fjord: Let out a fart.

Jester: 

Fjord: No.

Nott: You’re powerless?

Fjord: I think so.

THERE’S A NEW KIND OF GOOFINESS TO THIS FJORD WHO IS NOT TRYING TO PLAY VANDRAN THAT MAKES ME SO CURIOUS 

HE’S PLAYFUL, AND MAYBE IT’S HIS NERVES, MAYBE THIS IS HIM WHEN HE’S NOT TRYING TO ACT LIKE HE’S ALWAYS IN CONTROL 

BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY

I CAN 100% SEE THIS FJORD BEING JESTER’S FIRST REAL FRIEND IN THE OUTSIDE WORLD, NERVOUS AND RAMBLY AND JOKING TO RELEASE THE TENSION, MAN SHE MUST HAVE LOVED HIM IMMEDIATELY 

HE’S JUST HER BRAND, EVEN MORE THAN WE EVER THOUGHT

Fjord: *is talking about his Uk’otoa dreams*

Fjord: *suddenly makes eye contact with Jester*

Jester:

Fjord:

Jester: *giggles*

Fjord: *snorts a laugh*

Fjord: *keeps talking about his missing powers*

I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THAT WAS BUT I WANT 20 MORE OF IT PLEASE AND THANK YOU

Jester: But you said they came back before.

Fjord: It did

Fjord: That was also without throwing the sword into a pool of lava

Fjord: But yeah

Jester: He’s gonna be real pissed at you, Fjord. 

SHE’S SO WORRIED FOR HIM

also the faces he makes

it’s gonna take me a while to get use to these new mannerisms from him

Fjord: Jester sent a message for me last night.

Jester: 

soft soft soft soft

Fjord *after using the scorhing ray glove*: But it’s the glove

Caleb: yeah, but it’s on your hand. Hold on to that. [To Jester] Where is that whip?

Jester: Here?

Caleb: Yeah, you have things that are more useful than this.

Jester: You can also have my axe!

Nott: you can have my dagger

Caduceus: I also have a shield

Fjord *holding back tears*: oh no

I’M CRYING

YOU WANT ONE

TAKE TWO

TAKE EVERYTHING I CAN GIVE YOU 

THIS MOMENT WAS SO WHOLESOME AND FJORD FELT SO LOVED I’M EMO ALL OVER AGAIN JUST THINKING ABOUT IT

everything about this episode was wholesome and fed my soul

i’m gonna have to lay down until next friday to really digest all of it

expect further meta and ramblings 

i’m so excited for what comes next!!!!

[fyrecrafted]

Knitting (Tom x Reader Fic)

A few weeks ago you found out that you and Tom were expecting your first child. The excitement you both had could light up an entire city. You both planned on waiting until after your first trimester, the most dangerous and common time to miscarriage, to make this new public... but Tom is fucking adorable and spoiled the news in an unexpected way. 

Tom loved your passion for making things. He had, on more than one occasion, shown off socks you had made him during interviews. It had become a joke with a few of the late night shows whenever he came on.  The day you started to suspect that something was amiss he went to the store and got the test. You both paced back and forth as you waited for the results. Every few seconds he would go stare at it, then come back. When the phone timer finally beeped he flashed by into the bathroom and squealed in delight. He ran to you and spun you around giggling like a kid. It took you a few minutes to get over the shock, but soon you were as excited as he was.   

   He later came to you carrying all the reusable grocery bags you both owned and a mischievous grin on his face.  “C'mon babe! I have an idea!” You would rather nap, but his energy was contagious and motivated you enough to get up off the couch.  

    “Okay, but I need to change. Im still in my pajamas.” He walked around you, checking you out.  “You look amazing to me. I don't care if you want to wear this out, but if you want to change, I'll wait.” 

  “If I wear this, I'm wearing my kitty cat slippers with it... so at least it will match.”

  “Lovely idea.” 

  You got in the car and buckled up as he put the bags in the back seat and then got in to the driver's seat. Every few seconds he glanced over at you and beamed. You were still nervous about all this, but you didn't want to spoil his joy. So many things could go wrong at this point and knowing this ate at you, you wanted this so bad... but... things happen... You just didn't want to get all hopeful that something you had wanted since childhood was happening, and then it just... not happen.

  “Don't you think its a bit early?” You asked as he drove through the streets.  

  He looked up at the sky through the windshield “Its already early evening, not very early at all.” he responded, seeming confused.

  “No. I mean...” you  sighed and he pulled over into an empty parking space. He turned to you and put a hand on your shoulder. 

“Are you alright?” 

  “yeah... Im just”

“Hon, if something isn't right you have to let me know. If you're not ready, its okay. Don't let my excitement make you feel like you need to go through something if you're not ready for it.”  

“No, it... it isn't that.” 

“Then what?” He caressed your face then put his hand behind your head and placed his forehead onto yours. “What's wrong, love?” 

 “Its so early. Things could go wrong. I could lose our baby at any moment. Even without anything happening. Fuck, Tom... there's a chance I already did and wouldn't even know yet. I'm so scared.” He pulled back and stared into your eyes, his face falling as your anxiety hit him. He bear hugged you as best as he could from across the center console.    

“I didn't even consider that. I got completely wrapped up in my own excitement. Ugh. I... I don't even know” He sat back in his seat, his hand massaging his forehead. “I don't know if this helps any, but... yeah I know how risky this part is, the statistics and stuff. In my head I'm already... fuck I doubt this is gonna come out right.” 

  “What?” you say as the tears of your pent up nervousness finally broke free  

“If something bad happens, at least this early.” He sighed and fought to say what he meant “I'm not okay with it, but I have already made peace with the possibility. There is no pressure on you, from me at least for this to go a certain way. If we have to try again, even a few times I'm okay with that. I know this whole process will be completely different from your perspective. Please tell me how you're feeling so I know how best to care for you, both of you.”

  “Okay.” you reply through snuffles and tears. He handed you a tissue and waited for you to let him know how to proceed. “It does help me a lot to know you feel like that. I'm still scared though. I'm so scared, that I don't want to let myself even get excited or want this too much.” 

  “What do you want to do? We can go back home and order pizza and relax if you want. No pressure. This was all a spur of the moment thing because I got excited.” 

  “Not, not if this is baby shopping stuff. I can't deal with that yet. Please.” 

  “It isn't exactly that. I guarantee you want to go where I was planning, but you may change the 'why' we are going if you want. It can be a 'me spoiling you a bit' thing if you like.”  

“I'm confused.”

“Do you want me to go ahead and tell you, or should it be a surprise?”

“Uh, you pick I guess.”

“Mkay, surprise it is then.” his voice had picked back up, but there was still an edge of reservation to it.  A few minutes passed. “close your eyes, dear.” You did. If it had been anyone else, this gentle command would have sent your anxiety reeling, but with him, somehow... it just felt okay.    

The car drove on for a minute or two more and pulled to a stop and parked. “Okay love, open your eyes.” You squealed in delight when you realized where you were. Right outside the huge crafts supply store you loved. “You said a few times that you wanted to make baby stuff as soon as you found out you were expecting. But if you aren't okay with that just get what you want for yourself.” 

  “What about both?”  

“Both is perfectly perfect dear.” He said with that glowey look he gets as he helped you out the car and grabbed you both a cart.    

“What if I get carried away again?”

“If I have to call a rental moving truck to get everything home, I will...” He chuckled, though you were pretty sure he wasn't joking.  

As soon as you entered the shop you went straight for the textiles section.  You had so many ideas, and without a budget to adhere to, you kinda threw stuff in the cart as soon as ideas popped into your head. The first few times Tom brought you here you had only bought a few things. You didn't want to be a bother, or feel like you were wasting his hard earned money. This frustrated him, so one time he followed you around, and grabbed whatever you longingly looked at but put back. Every. Single. Thing. You ended up going home with more crafts stuff that day than you probably had across your entire life. It was his way of begging you to allow him to spoil you, and it worked.    

You quickly lost track of your hubby, but didn't really notice. He texted you “You okay? We got a bit split up.” 

  “Yeah. I'm a bit worn out. Home and pizza?” 

  “Darling, you know I never say no to pizza... Want me to pull up the car and you go ahead and checkout?”

  “That works”

“Mkay”    

You snaked your way through the aisles towards the checkout, purchased the supplies, bagged them and wheeled the cart out to the car. Tom was waiting and quickly grabbed several bags and put them in the back seat. He was a bit slower with the rest, oddly enough. 

  “In a hurry hubbs?”

  “Pizza is involved.” he responded as he packed the last few bags and took the cart back inside. You got in the car and buckled up. When he came out you couldn't help but notice that glimmer of 'I'm very much up to something' in his eyes. He noticed you looking at him and quickly that impish glint flickered away. Professionally trained to hide mischief face...    

When you got home he asked for you to call in your standard pizza order while he brought everything in. The second trip he made to the car took considerably longer than the first. Just as you began to worry that something had happened, he came in.  

“Tom, is that a Loki sticker on your head?” He burst out laughing, put down the bags, pulled off the sticker and stuck it onto the refrigerator.    

“Yeah, a little girl recognized me outside and said they had to give Loki their sticker. It was adorable. Their mum wanted an autograph too and I ended up chatting a bit. Did you get the call in for pizza?”  

“Mhm. Should be a few more minutes.” 

  “Got any ideas for what to watch?”

  “Yeah, but its silly... we have seen it several times...”

  “Does it happen to star a certain actor we both intimately know?”

  “Yeeeeeah...”  

“Which one? Also its not silly. I am a fabulous actor and you like watching me and snuggling me at same time, and its fucking adorable.” the hint of glee and faux diva he added to his voice made you chuckle a bit.  

“I was thinking of watching The Night Manager again.”

  “Excellent choice. I hear that one of the producers may have a nice ass...” You gently elbow him and slap the referred to 'nice ass'. One thing led to another, and before you realized it, you were standing behind the main door, full on making out. His tongue invading every crevice of your mouth, his hands groped you all over. You returned these touches in kind. You both filled the room with moans until you remembered the pizza delivery person would be arriving soon. You pulled back and looked up at your tall husband. His eyes were dreamy and far away as they stared down at you. You looked down further and realized how much you had 'effected' him.   

A whimper from near your feet drew both of your attention. The cats and Bobby had been staring at the both of you for a bit. “I'll feed them and you get the pizza when it comes?” You ask him and he nods, still a bit stuck in the heat of the earlier moment. The doorbell rings as you fill the furballs' bowls. 

“OH MY GOD ITS TOM HIDDLESTON.” came from the other side of the door.

“Yes, it is.” He chuckled a bit.  

“My boss didn't tell me who I was delivering to, they just grinned and gave the order and address. I know its, like, completely unprofessional, but, like, can I please have your autograph?” You grabbed a sharpie and a piece of paper on your way to the door and handed them to Tom.    

“Of course. How would you like it made out?” Tom asked  

“Oh, I don't really care. I'm just a bit...” they squealed and tried hard to fight for composure. Tom wrote out a short note and signed it. He paid for the pizza and handed the pizza to you. 

“Hey, I know its a bit much to ask for, but can I have a selfie with you?”  

“Sorry, but we have a policy to not do pictures around the house. I hope you understand. If I see you another time, perhaps we can take pictures together then?”  

“Yeah, no, I get it. Totally cool. Thank you so much for being nice and the note and stuff already.” 

“No problem. Have a good night.” Tom ended the conversation as he closed the door.  

“You're gonna go there tomorrow aren't you...” Tom had a habit of going out of his way to be sweet to people.  

“Oh dear, you know me all too well.”  

A bit later you were both snuggled together on the couch, eating pizza, and watching The Night Manager together. He absentmindedly started rubbing your lower abdomen, but stopped short. “Is this alright?” He didn't want you to get anxious again about the baby.  

“Its fine” you reply as you snuggle even closer to him, your head on his chest and the sound of his heartbeat in your ear. The safety and comfort you felt began to lull you to sleep as the first episode ended.   

“Babe, I really need to pee.” He shifted uncomfortably until you untangled from him. He got up quickly and left the room.  

“Actually I should probably do the same.” you got up and waited for him to finish. After you finished you went back to the couch but he wasn't there. Rustling emanated from the other room, and soon Tom came in carrying one of the bags from earlier. He plopped down on the couch beside you and thought for a moment.  “Uh, if you're not okay with this right now just let me know, okay?” He asked.

“Alright. Whatcha got there babe?” 

  “I kinda...” He started pulling out yarn and a 'learn to knit' kit. “I wanted to know if you would teach me so I could make stuff for the baby too.” His cheeks blushed because he worried about your reaction.  

“Of course I'll teach you.” The show played in the background as you both knitted. You would show him a step, he would practice, and you would show him another step. He started with a basic stocking stitch scarf. You figured that would teach him quite a bit without being too complicated. He was soon making consistent progress and you were both able to get back into the show without him needing much help.    

Several weeks later he was away from home to film a part for an upcoming movie. The internet was flooded with paparazzi photos of Tom Hiddleston knitting baby booties and a cap. Speculation soared about whether the actor was about to become a first time father.

[myivfjourney]

Naps? Yes please!!

9/3/20

Ok, so it's been a few days since I've written - alot has happened!

Quick update to my last few lines in my prior post.

I got the "go ahead" from the doctor to begin stims..the TSH of 3.5 doesn't seem to be a current concern.

My husband got the job and signed his offer today ! Yay!

My meds didn't come on the Thursday like expected inspite being in the phone for 2 hours dealing with it. They came Friday after further investment of time.

Anyways...

Backtracking to last week of August...

I finished the last birth control pill August 24 and was so ready to move to the next step. I had so much back and forth phone calls with the specialty pharmacy that my meds came the Friday. I day before I needed to start them although my doctor and I confirmed the orders weeks prior. I was so upset. Had I not called to verify a few days prior it would have not made it in time. Always very people.

Anyways we begun stims on Saturday August 29th. My husband and I rewatched the videos to be sure we were "doing it right" ...we made it out the first night alive. Menopur stings ladies! But the good news is it does go away after like 1 minute.

I'm on day 6 of Stims right now and all I want to do these past few days is nap.

The stims have gifted me a small lingering headache and complete tiredness. YAY!..u really shouldn't have.

On the same day we begun stims I started spotting and by Sunday I had a heavy flow. Monday morning I couldn't wait to call and find out ...apparently its "withdrawal bleeding" from the birth control and also my uterus is shedding its lining. Since it measured 8" last time, I had lot to lose thus bleeding for 2 more days. I'm spotting today..still pink..but hoping it stops soon.

Last night I had to get 3 injections because the re-inject pen for Gonal would only give me a dose of 100IU since we've used 200 IUs each night thus far as my dosage (it comes as 900) ..but..the night before somehow when my hubby injected me, only 175 IUs discharged so I needed another shot of 25 to even out the 200. So needless to say two nights in a row I've had 3 stabs to the belly...how lovely! I've gotten use to it so its fine.

I visited the doctors office on Wednesday (yesterday) and looks like we're pacing well. They want to see me tomorrow again for further monitoring.

Can I just tell you about my left overies for a quick sec? I mean..I've already covered my periods so why not.

My left girl seems to be hiding out behind my uterus down under. So finding her is always a bitch. The nurse looked for a good few minutes before giving up. She then called in the doctor to look around for her. I waited about 5-8mins on the bed (on my period) after being poked around with the probe for several minutes. When the doctor came, in order to find her, I was asked to literally turn and lie on my right butt cheek while the probe was inside ...only then Ms. Lefty graced us with her presence....they got the picture they needed.. ( when he saw her I heard him count out to 10 but I didn't ask what it was..follicles? ) Gosh I hate this process. It's so gross. I wonder if it will be this hard when I'm going in for egg retrieval? I can't go on my right butt cheek under sedation...oh my God. The cramps that will follow...

I am hopeful for tomorrow's visit. I'm starting to feel very "lumpy" in the sides of my belly. Something is happening ...aka...growing!

The doctor didn't say anything about follicles yesterday so you bet your ass I'm asking tomorrow. I need to know what we're working with here. I was instructed to stay on my current dosage of meds until next visit.

Cheers to good news tomorrow. God knows I need it.

On a different note outside of IVF -

I lost my Job on Tuesday Sept. 1, 2020! My position was eliminated and I'm now a statistic of the wrath of Covid. I dont want to get emotional but sometimes I can't help but feel defeated. I need to find a sense of worth and value. I haven't spoken to my best friend or anyone about this process, my career downturn and how I'm feeling. Partly because I don't want to be pitied and treated "special" like a delicate lamb or something. You are my only outlet of expressing how I feel. The anonymity helps for transparency.

With my body not able to conceive naturally I've had to turn to science for my miracle....and thank heavens for science... while its a challenging process I was ..and still am..going to be strong and positive through it. But, things like losing the job you loved so much and the amazing benefits that it provides is a big hit. I had an amazing position with an amazing company...amazing compensation and worked with amazing people...and now its all gone. Officially on September 18 my coverage ends. Luckily my egg retrieval should be well before then.

My doctor will most likely opt for a frozen transfer (higher success rates) so that puts me into October and I feel like I'm in limbo. Do I still apply for jobs now knowing I have so many doctors visits still upcoming and when I get pregnant will I face any discrimination and not be hired?

I never heard back anything from the job interview last week btw. I must have applied to about 50 job postings at this point. No interviews and a few rejections but mostly crickets.

Am I worrying too much? 😕

Well you try going through Stims...tell me how you feel.

My hubby's position was also eliminated and so he was technically out of a job for a week. But his boss ( same company) before he got promoted reached out with an opportunity. He interviewed and got the job. So he's back reinstated with his company after 1 week and starts this new role (promotion with more pay) on Tuesday after the holiday. Crazy times I tell you.

Anyways...as usual I chirp away...more to come after my visit tomorrow.

Off to take another nap.....yawns!!!

[talltalesandbedtimestories]

A View To A Winchester (Part 7)

Series Page

Summary: Julie’s starting a new life after divorce in a home with a very nice view.

A Dean X OFC story. I got this idea staring out the view of my home office window and thinking how nice it would be to have Dean Winchester to ogle. Gotten pretty cute and fluffy, with some angst. I’m a few sections ahead now in my writing so the outline of the story is taking shape and smut is on the near horizon. This has been a fun escape during stay-at-home orders. Getting to know Dean through my heroine’s eyes has been a great writing exercise and therapeutic reduction in anxiety. There should be studies done on what staring at photos and video of Dean/Jensen does to the human body. (But the SPN fandom has probably done one already; if not, it could be the next big scientific breakthrough.)

Section Word Count:  3,385

Section Content: fluff, angst, R-rated language, drinking, Spice Girls references, Dean being Dean and turning ladies to puddles

Thank you to @deanwanddamons​ for reading some of the story so far. Appreciate it.

~~~~~

Dean had not returned the next day. But Julie was apparently on his mind. He’d texted her that morning with an update. Another job had dropped into his lap. One too good to pass up. He wasn’t sure how long he’d be gone. But he was looking forward to seeing her when he got back.

That was on a Monday. She filled that day with decisions about what to make for her “girl power get together” scheduled for the end of the week. There was also the necessary recuperation from overdoing it with the wine. She hadn’t been that hungover in a while. Bingeing on caffeine and “The Office” helped.

By Tuesday, she’d become ancy. Staying home was not going to work. If her mind was going to run around in circles, there would need to be something else to occupy it. Rifling through options landed on a trip to a nearby state park. She’d decided on one with a bit of a challenging hike. Composed of winding hills and trails near the Brandywine River, the nature reserve filled her senses, balancing the whirlwind of emotions. She spent close to an hour sitting beside the riverbed. A turbulent spot chosen where the white water rushed over boulders and splashed into a slight descent. The river’s frantic pace cancelled out the chirping of busy birds. A gauge nearby displayed a healthy amount of rain had occurred over the past few weeks.  

Even the intrusion into her personal space by a talkative, friendly dog walker didn’t bother her that much. The petite raven-haired woman, whose age was hard to pinpoint, made some chit chat while Julie trekked back to her car. Her name was Ina and she was new to Delaware. Currently, she was in search of a server job at a high-end restaurant where the tips would make it worth her time. “Any recommendations for decent food markets? Best place to order take-out, Thai being my favorite?” Ina’s chocolate lab, Cocoa, sniffed at Julie’s sneakers with abandon as questions were tossed in her general direction. Julie pet Cocoa, dodging some inquiries and rambling off information about places near her home. Cocoa got a few good scratches behind an ear before she wished Ina well settling into Pike Creek.

Wednesday ticked by even slower. Her fingers itched to text Dean. The basement had been the lucky recipient of her time and attention. A large amount of progress was made unpacking boxes, sorting out donations, and finding permanent spots in the house for decorative items. She broke down and reached out to her brother and sister-in-law, Patty, and face timed with her nephews later that night. 

By Thursday, she went over her mom’s house. They ended up going to the mall and then shopping for the food Julie needed for her Friday night get together. She was reminded by her mother to feed the ladies well, with various cooking tips. Dean was also a large part of her mother’s focus. Julie feigned as much non-interest on the Winchester topic as possible. But her mother knew her well enough. She was reminded upon leaving to feed him the lasagna in the freezer soon.

Karen, Stacey, and Cat benefitted from a substantial number of Julie’s hours in the kitchen that Friday night. She’d attempted chicken parmesan, one of her mom’s signature dishes. Sauce had simmered on the stove for a couple hours - not as long as Brigida’s, but not bad. They were on the second bottle of red wine, having moved out of the dining room and into the living room. Cat, sensible and responsible as usual, was abstaining and had driven the other former college roommates over to Julie’s house.

Streaming radio played. They ended up singing along to “Holler” by The Spice Girls, sans Ginger. Julie had always been eager to take Posh’s lines, mainly because hers were few and far between. But, Karen, with her mocha colored skin, coiffed haircut, and pencil-thin skirt wrapping a pencil-thin body truly embodied the word posh. In spite of all that, Karen tapped away on her cell phone while covering Scary’s verses.

Julie had always admired Karen’s drive and dedication. She even hoped to get the divorce thing down as well as Karen. Her two teenage boys were spending the weekend at the Ex’s. She was heading up to New York by train to see her wealthy lawyer boyfriend Saturday morning. Karen made more money than “new man” did. She was a partner in a very successful law firm.  

Stacey always loved Baby Spice. She had the requisite long blonde hair and blue eyes and curvy figure. She also apparently loved babies, as she had birthed three of them in her fifteen years of wedded bliss. The youngest child was two and at home with the rest of the brood that night. Her somewhat sickeningly sweet hubby was great with the kids, she gushed. “He doesn’t think he’s babysitting when he spends time with them.” She nodded and pointed at all three women in succession. Her affinity for wine had not faltered either from their college days. Stacey’s lips are already way too loose when she’s sober. Her rouge stained mouth was downright slippery at present, wet with a good Cabernet Sauvignon.

“Lucky you.” Karen quipped. “My ex went to the mat to get shared custody. Yet, every time it’s ‘his’ weekend, there has to be an argument.” Karen’s love for air quotes hasn’t gone away. She smiled over at Cat. “You should have tried harder to seduce me, Kitty Kat. Would have saved me decades of dumb dick.”

Cat, who always seemed relegated to Sporty Spice by default, pushed black rimmed glasses up the bridge of her nose. Her blue eyes crinkled behind the frames. “It wouldn’t have stuck, Kar.” She dipped and sipped at her soda. Sharp angles of her brown bob curtained a pale face. Stubby fingers with short nails - that she probably still bites - flicked the hair back. “Besides, I wouldn’t be happily domesticated with Sheila now. And you hate dogs. I have two, remember? Big ones.” Cat turned to Julie. “What about you, Jules?”

Julie’s eyes widened behind her own glasses. “Are you offering to try and seduce me, Cat?”

Karen and Stacey laughed. Cat blushed. “No, smartass. Are you going to get a pet to keep you company?”

Julie shook her head. “Don’t think so.” She was taking it easier on the wine than the other two, still milking her second serving. There would be no hangover repeat.

“Well, a man, then?” Karen asked.

Stacey guffawed. “It’s only been a few months. Give the woman a chance to grieve.”

“Grieve over what? A shitload of baggage she never checked on the flight.” Karen shot back.

Cat rolled her eyes. “Here they go,” she mumbled.

Julie cleared her throat. All three turned to stare in her direction. “There is… someone.”

Karen slapped her thigh. “That’s my girl!”

“Already?” Stacey’s lids blinked in rapid succession.

Cat waved a hand at Stacey to hush, looking at Julie the whole time. “Details.”

Julie began the very lengthy tale that was Dean Winchester. When she was done, she was met with mixed reactions from the trio.

“He’s been stalking you?” Karen’s brow furrowed.

“He’s a bounty hunter?” Stacey added her concern.

“What’s his name again?” Cat pulled her tablet out of the huge purse by her feet. She was a communications manager at a large non-profit and social media was her specialty.

Julie shifted in her seat. “Dean Winchester.” Defense mode shot up. “To be fair, it’s not like I was innocent in the whole stalking thing, either.”

“Yeah, but you didn’t go much beyond some Googling, right? He got downright illegal in his activity.” Karen shook her head.

“Hm.” Cat frowned. “You said he’s around our age?”

Julie nodded. “43, he said.”

Stacey wagged a sluggish finger. “Hey, we’re 40. Don’t age us all prematurely. Nature’s doing a fine job of that without any additional assistance.” Stacey’s starting to slur. May have to cut her off soon.

Cat ignored Stacey, swiping and typing. “I’m not coming up with anyone around that age with that name. Weird.”

“Why’s that weird?” Stacey asked.

“Everyone has a digital footprint. Something can be found on anyone pretty quickly. Even if it’s the smallest, inconsequential bit of data. But, to find nothing…”

Julie shrugged. “Maybe he’s good at covering his tracks.”

“Even more reason to be wary of this guy, Jules.” Karen attempted a maternal look. “He sounds like the epitome of a bad boy. Come on, a vintage muscle car? You’re a sucker for that type. We were study partners working on our Minors in Psychology together, remember? Think about it. Ten years with a man you thought was a good partner and reliable, only to have that rug ripped out from under you? I’d be searching for the exact opposite, too, faster than you could say peanut butter sundae.” No wonder she makes the big bucks. She presents a damn good argument.

“Karen’s right.” Stacey tried to sound soothing. “You’re in a very vulnerable state right now. Hormones are probably all over the place. Any guy with ill intentions could take advantage of that.”

Julie raised a brow. “If you saw this man in person, Stace… trust me, you’d be all aboard the Dean Train. Remember Gavin Teller?” Julie leaned forward for emphasis.

“Yeah?” Stacey squeaked out the question. 

“Imagine Gavin having aged to perfection, like that fine wine you enjoy so much.” She pointed at Stacey’s glass. “Now, square that. You get Dean Winchester.”

“We all remember Gavin in his heyday.” Karen let out a low-key whistle. “Damn. I may have to reconsider my opening statement.” Her original career path of a prosecutor fell by the wayside midway through her college career. An enticing salary that could be earned helping clients buy and sell publicly traded companies won out.

Stacey shushed Karen. “College quarterbacks don’t turn into bounty hunters.”

Cat raised both hands in the air. “That is an opinion, not fact. And a totally ridiculous leap. Besides, Gavin Teller sells cars at his dad’s dealership now, is bald, and has a pot belly. His local TV spots are downright cringeworthy. Such a pain in the ass when his company sponsored one of our events. Wanted his cheesy grin inserted in so many media posts. How is that better than being a badass bounty hunter?”

Julie smiled at the tension and exchanged a knowing glance with Karen. They had long suspected there’d been some sexual experimentation between Cat and Stacey around college graduation. It had centered around a night of lemon drop body shots.  

Stacey tilted her nose up. “He was always nice to me.”

“That’s because he liked how you looked in that cheerleading skirt, Stace. I know I did. But, really, Julie… you should be careful.” Cat repeated the other’s concern.

The doorbell chimed. Stacey gasped and Karen’s posture stiffened. Cat returned the tablet to her purse. 

“Did you order more food?” Nervous laughter from the ladies followed Cat’s question.

Julie shook her head. She looked at her watch. It was not quite 7:30 pm. Seconds later her phone buzzed. She tapped at the screen to view the text.

Knock, knock

“Oh, shit.” Julie whispered.

“What?” Karen placed her wine glass atop a coaster on the coffee table. Even in high alert, the woman has good etiquette.

“It’s him.”

Stacey cupped a hand over her mouth.

“Dean Winchester?” Cat asked.

“Yeah.”

“Why’s he coming by unannounced?” Karen was in full-blown fact-finding mode.

Julie wrinkled up her nose. “I may have told him to stop by when he got back.”

“How desperate are you?” Stacey scolded.

“Stacey…” Julie sighed.

Karen raised two hands in the air with a smile on her face. “This is great.”

“Why?” Cat asked.

“So we can all get held hostage by Julie’s lady killer?” Stacey’s voice got higher with each word.

“We can vet him.”

“Vet him?” Julie groaned.

“Yep.” Julie had seen that stern nod from Karen countless times. “If he seems like a creep, you’re done with him. I’ll call in a favor to get a court order issued if need be.”

Stacey nodded. “Yeah. Between the three of us, we’ll be able to give you a decent character profile. And Cat’s not affected at all by men…”

Cat slapped both palms on her thighs.

Karen waved Julie to the door. “Hurry up and open it.”

“This is a horrible nightmare,” Julie mumbled. Her stomach was doing somersaults. What the hell will Dean think? What will the girls do?

“Your phone’s buzzing again.” Cat commented. “Anxious little bugger, isn’t he? What did you promise the man?”

Julie took a deep breath, her hand on the doorknob. The last rays of daylight sparkled through the etched glass. Maybe this is good. I may really need an objective opinion. After all, he’s probably not as irresistible as I’m making him out to be. Context.

When she opened the door, Dean greeted her with a full watt smile. “Hey there.” The two words slipped out slow. His hands held the cake box, fingers thrumming against the cardboard sides. “I was told to deliver this as soon as I got back.” His tongue darted out to the side for a quick lick of his bottom lip while he inspected her.

Damn. He was outfitted in a light grey, muscle-hugging t-shirt and faded blue jeans. Positively edible. Fuck context. She couldn’t stop the smile from spreading over her lips. This will be fun.

He stepped up into the entryway, not waiting for permission to enter. His hands offered Julie the box. She was careful to grab the box from the base. He glanced over her head and spotted the company in the living room. His eyes narrowed, tilting down to look into Julie’s eyes. “Sorry. Am I interrupting?” He whispered. “I saw the car parked out front when I drove into the neighborhood… didn’t recognize it…”

Julie arched a brow. “Were you worried for my safety? Or being nosy?”

He grinned. “A little of both.”

She nodded him into the living room. “Come meet some friends.”

He nodded in return and shuffled into the living room, hands stuffed in his pockets, shoulders back, a swirl of timid confidence. The ladies were all up from their seats. The tiny living room felt even smaller with the congregation and Dean’s frame occupying some of it. Julie’s slow steps gave her time to take in the reactions, hiding somewhat behind Dean’s impressive stature. In his wake, she picked apart his scent. The heady mix of leather, sweat, and grease was sharp and crazy intoxicating.

Stacey’s mouth hung open in slight disbelief. Karen fiddled with her hoop earrings and gave Dean the full top to bottom to top inspection. Cat’s eyes narrowed.

When Julie strolled up to Dean’s left, she saw his cautious smile preparing to melt the group. “Dean, these are some college friends of mine.” Julie rattled off their names in order. “Karen. Stacey. Catherine.”

Cat smiled over at Julie, appreciating the replacement of her nickname reserved only for select company.

And, then, Dean unleashed the smile that Julie was certain would topple their wall of uncertainty. He extended his hand and shook each one with the right amount of strength. “Pleasure to meet you, ladies. I didn’t think Julie had any friends.” He chuckled. “She doesn’t get many visitors.”

“And you’d know that because of all the spying you’ve been doing on our dear friend, I hear.” Karen was ready to knock him down a peg or two right out of the gate. But the look on her face betrayed the lackluster attempt at disapproval.

Dean’s eyes widened and he stared at Julie. “Have you been talking about me?”

Julie pursed her lips.

Dean shrugged, intense eyes still on Julie. “Well, if you appreciated beautiful ladies as much as I do, you’d understand.”

Stacey cleared her throat, Dean reddening her cheeks even more than the red wine had. She looked in desperate need of fanning. “Where’re you from, Dean?”

The question pulled his gaze from Julie. He smiled at Stacey again. “Kansas.”

Julie tilted her head, wondering if it was the truth.

“Long way from Kansas.” Cat added.

“Well, I’ve been all over the country.”

The three nodded in unison. Karen asked, “Have you gotten a tour of Julie’s house yet, Dean?”

Julie’s eyes zeroed in on Karen with laser focus.

Dean licked his top lip. Julie caught Stacey and Karen taking particular notice of that sexy tick of his. Not the only one at the mercy of those physical attributes, am I, Ladies?  “Um, no. This is the first time I’ve been allowed entrance into Julie’s compound, actually.” He pointed to the sliding door. “I’m usually relegated to outside chores.”

“Uh-” Julie started.

“We were getting ready to take a look around,” Stacey interjected. “Jules, why don’t we get the full narrated tour with Dean, here?”

Julie could feel her cheeks blushing.

“Oh, that’s…” He laughed, protesting with a shake of his head, “that’s okay. I’ll leave you ladies to your night. I was only dropping off this cake.” He pointed to the box Julie was still holding. “Still pretty damn tasty after a week.” He grinned at her. “I snuck another slice before bringing it back.” He rubbed a hand on his thigh. “It was nice meeting all of you.”

The three nodded again in unison. As Dean turned their gazes all dropped to stare at his ass. Julie stifled a giggle and pushed the box into Stacey’s hands. She met Dean at the door. “I’m sorry,” she mumbled.

He bent close to her ear and whispered, “You’ll have to let me know if I passed the test later,” waited a beat, straightened his posture, then ended with, “Jules.”

The light spilling in through the front door glass lit up his eyes a crystal green. “You’ve already passed mine.” She whispered back.

“Good.” He grinned.

“What are you doing tomorrow night?” she asked.

His tongue peeked out only a sliver between his lips, revving up the grin even more. “Guess that depends on you.”

“Come over around 8:00.”

He tilted his head. “Is that a request or an order?”

She ignored the question. “Make sure you eat dinner ahead of time. Cause I’m not making any.”

Surprise mixed with amusement on his face. He glanced into the living room. The ladies were seated now, talking amongst themselves, but still staring at the pair. His gaze heated her back up when it returned. “Want me fueled up for any tasks in particular?” Julie shrugged in response. “Hm. Any other commands?”

“Just don’t disappear tomorrow.”

He nodded. “Yes, Ma’am.”

She sighed. “Don’t call me Ma’am.”

His eyes narrowed. “Kind of sexy when you’re bossy.”

She laughed, blushing again.

“And when you’re blushing.” He opened the door for himself, waved a hand to the women and then mouthed “See you tomorrow night” to Julie.

As soon as the door shut, Stacey called out, “I take back everything I said earlier.”

Karen added, “If you get kidnapped, give him my address so he can swing by and grab me, too.”

Julie giggled, walking over to the group. “Seriously, what did you think?”

Stacey’s eyes bugged out. “Oh my god! He’s gorgeous and knows how to use it. That’s dangerous on a ton of levels. But I don’t think he’s a crazy psycho.” Stacey fanned herself. “My husband’s in for it when I get home.”

Karen nodded. “Oh, he’s totally trouble and you’re in for an amazing ride. But, in this case, it’s not the destination but the journey. The journey all over that fine man, of which explicit details will be mandatory. Plus, he didn’t go for the bait to inspect your house. I think an under the radar creep would have been all for that.” She pointed at Julie. “But, we still get a tour as your oldies and besties.”

“Of course.” Julie turned to Cat. “What about you?”

Cat shrugged. “He seems alright. I still think he’s got stuff to hide, though. I’m going to do some serious digging.”

Julie frowned.

“Just looking out for you,” Cat added. “But he did have a really nice ass.”

Part 8

Series Page

[leelee10898]

Fast cars & Freedom: From the ground up (14/?)

Ellie gets a surprise visit and revelations are made. Catch up HERE.

Pairing: Logan x Ellie, Colt x Ellie

Raiting: Mature

It had been a few days since the Divorce hearing, well the hearing that came to an abrupt halt when she fainted.  Ellie sat curled up in the couch attempting to watch a movie, her mind everywhere else but. She finally had the answers, she knew who Luca's father was and she spoke with the Judge via CCTV. Big changes were coming and she wasn't exactly sure how to move forward. It was Friday night and she still had not heard from Colt.  Her dad and Sally away at the grand canyon, Luca had a long week at school and went down easy.

Riya had texted her several times asking her if she wanted her to come over and have a girls night. The doctor had given her the clear to leave with minimal restrictions except to stay hydrated and eat, that and follow up with her doctor. The diagnosis something she did not expect, she wasn't really sure how to tell those closest to her so she said nothing at all. Ellie heard the thunder outside, the rain had picked up as well.

 They weren't expecting a storm but they helped her sleep, and how she needed the sleep. She stood up, turning off the Tv and making her way to the stairs when she heard a knock at the door. It was 9pm, who would be there that late. She walked to the door, cautiously opening it, she was surprised to find two dark eyes staring back at her. "Colt?"

He stood there soaked to the bone "Come in here, what were you thinking driving your bike in the rain." She ushered him inside and closed the door behind him. "I don't know, I just needed to get out. So I drove, and I ended up here." He spoke as Ellie ran and grabbed him some towels. "I shouldn't be here." He wiped his face and headed towards the door.  "No. Colt wait. Don't go." He abruptly stopped, the sound of her telling him to stay made his heart flutter, but it was quickly snuffed out by the hurt and anger he had pent up. "Why do you care huh? Im yesterday's news. You didn't waste any time divorcing me." He snapped.

"Im sorry Colt. I-" she tried speaking but he cut her off. "I love you Ellie. I always fucking will, but you never gave me a chance." His voice getting louder. "I know and I'm sorry I hurt you but if you-"

"I know, You're sorry.  Sorry doesn't help my hurt. I should go." He cut her off again.

"You're an asshole." Ellie snapped, Colt gave her a half chuckle "I'm an asshole?"

"Yeah. And a cocky smart ass too." She stood her ground.  

"Well thanks a lot for stating the obvious.  I thought you were smarter than that." He scoffed at her. "Good luck with Logan.  I'm sure you guys will make a real great family." He turned hand on the door. "I couldn't go through with it." Colt froze in place, unsure if he hear her right, or if she meant what he thought she did.  He turned looking at her. "What did you say?"

"I didn't go through with the divorce. Its you Colt, it's always been you. I was just to stub-" His lips crashed against hers, silencing her immediately as she melted into his kiss. "I love you." She whispered as she pressed her lips to his again. "I love you too." He pulled back their eyes locked, searching one another for some sort of sign. Ellie pressed her body against his bringing her arms up around his neck, her hands threading his dark locks before slipping down pulling the damp shirt over his head.

They made short work of their clothes, Colt lifting her by the thighs and carrying her to her bedroom. He laid her down on the bed, he carefully climbed on top of her, his lips finding hers, this time much softer. "I feel like i'm dreaming. Like i'm going to wake up and you'll be gone. I'll be alone again."

She grabbed his hand guiding him up her sides "You feel that? This is real. I'm not going anywhere, I'm yours colt." Her words igniting a fire within him. "You're mine." He whispered into her lips as he lined himself up, and slowly sank into her. He set his pace slow and steady, he wanted to take his time with her, to show her how much he needed her, to please her. His hands tangled in her hair, their lips pressed together, swallowing each others moans, his thrust hitting just the right spot each time. He could feel her walls fluttering around him, he knew she was close,  he also knew he wouldn't be able to hold back much longer after that. He lifted her legs slightly so she could wrap them around his waist, he thrust deeper as she called out his name, coming completely undone. A few pumps letter he found his own release.

He rested his head against hers, looking into her eyes. "I love you,  so much." He kissed her nose. "Mmm I love you too." He rolled over on the side of her, resting his head against her chest. The steady beat of her heart beginning to lull him to sleep. "Colt."

"hmmm." He murmured.  "I'm pregnant." He propped himself up on his elbow "Yeah?"

She nodded her head. "I found out when I fainted at the court hearing. Im about 6 weeks.  Turns out, we're pretty good at making babies." She giggled.

In that moment Colt was over the moon, He got his wife back, and she was giving him a baby. "You have no idea how happy you have made me." He tilted his head kissing her. "Wait, you said babies. Are there two? is it twins?!"

"No. Just 1 in there." She waited for him to catch on, And finally he did. His eyes went wide. "Are you saying? Does that mean?" He sat up in the bed, the tears now welling in his eyes.  "Luca is your daughter. You were right all along." Colt was never one to show emotion, but his heart was so full he thought it would surely burst. He went through his whole life feeling like something was missing, feeling half full. He chalked it up to his father pushing him away, but now he knew that it was Her, this family they made, that was the missing piece.

Ellie told him about how she fainted at court was taken to the hospital where they ran blood test. Logan telling her she was making a mistake, his words hitting her hard. So when Darnell came in and they had the video chat with the judge, she informed her she was not wanting to go forward with the divorce.  Instead she wanted her last name changed, and pending a positive paternity test, Luca's last name changed to Kaneko as well. The doctor giving them the results to the paternity test right after, and then she found out she was pregnant.

Colt pulled her close to him,placing frantic kisses all over her face. "Are you happy?" She giggled as he pulled away.  "Hell yeah!" He grinned placing his hand on her flat stomach. "I can't wait to have a son. One of each, I just. I can't even wait. I love you Elle."

"How do you know its a boy. We have a girl, maybe it's another girl." She countered. He gave her a sideways smirk "wishful thinking."

"So um, not to kill the mood but. I take it Logan knows." She nodded her head yes. "He does. He was a little upset but honestly he took it pretty well. He's just excited to be uncle Logan, and spoil her rotten."

He chuckled "He's a good guy," Ellie shot him a surprised look "Don't make me say it again."

"And Luca? Does she know?" Colt traced lazy circles on her invisible bump.

"Not yet. I think we can tell her in the morning." She smiled down at him.

"Sounds good to me, but until then." He smirked as his placed open mouth kisses on her neck. "Were not getting any sleep tonight are we?" She softly moaned out. He shot her a mischievous look as he made his way down her body. "We have 6 years to make up for. What do you think?"

The next morning Ellie woke up to an empty bed, she would have thought he left if it weren't for the aroma of bacon teasing her nostrils. She got dressed and crept down the stairs to find a shirtless colt standing over the stove. She leaned up against the entryway watching him "the bacon grease is gonna get you." He turned towards her,  "No it's, oh shit. Ouch. Ouch. Not." He said dropping a slab of bacon i to the grease jumping back. Ellie squeal in a fit of laughter. "Oh you think that's funny?" He rushed over tickling her. "NOOOO, Colt, stop it." She giggled, finally he pulled her into him, wrapping his arms around her. "Morning Wifey.." He murmured, brushing his lips against hers. "Good morning, hubby."

They pulled away hearing the echo of little footsteps coming down the stairs. Luca appeared moments later, her eyes lighting up immediately "Colt! You're here, you're here." She ran into his arms. "Hey Princess. I missed you." He picked her up hugging her tight. "I missed you Colt. Don't leave anymore." She nuzzled her head against his shoulder. "I won't. I'm not going anywhere anymore, I promise." He sat her down at the table next to Ellie, he went over to the stove pulling the food of and plating them. He sat two plates full of food in front Ellie and Luca before grabbing his own and joined them. "Mmm chocolate chip pancakes my favorite. And mommy, look its Mickey Mouse!"

"Grampy told me chocolate chip pancakes were your favorite." Colt beamed. "Can you cook us breakfast every morning Colt?" Luca said as she enjoyed her breakfast. Colt and Ellie shared a look. Ellie cleared her throat "Well baby, we have something we would like to tell you."

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[juminsmysticmc]

Continuing with badass/tomboy MC could I please have the RFA + minor trio with an MC who does competitive shooting? Like pistol, shotgun, or rifle?

 RFA + Minor Trio with an MC who does competitive shooting

Oki doki so I tried to give my best….! Here you are! 

Jumin 

,,Huh…?’’ Jumin mumbled when he woke up noticing that your slender body wasn’t next to him. 

He got up and looked for you but didn’t find you. 

Of course he got worried but he needed to stay calm. 

But then he heard a few shoots. 

His heard began to beat crazily, were you perhaps in danger?! 

He rushed down to the place where he heard the noisy but found you in a white suit with a pistol, shooting at bottles. 

,,Mc?’’ he asked you and noticed that you had something like headphones in your ears. 

,,AH!’’ you shrieked and saw Jumin and took off your ears protection. 

,,What can I do for you, my lovely husband?’’ you asked him sweetly. 

,,I just wondered what you were doing….?’’ he mumbled, still surprised by you. 

,,Well, in four months I have to go to a competition and I thought that I should practice a bit after all what happened.’’ you explained. 

,,Competition….? At what?’’ he asked you. 

,,Well, this is some kind of shooting sports I’m doing and I have a competition…I need to become the best korean shooter to take part in the olympics.’’ you told him and where about to shoot again. 

,,Wait, let’s go to a professional hall while my people overwork this room for you….I want to support you.’’ he smiled and took your hand, ready to go to the best place in Seoul. 

Zen 

Your Zenny came home while you were watching a training video. 

,,What are you looking at? Shooting?’’ he asked you and looked into the phone you had. 

,,Yes…I need to learn a new tactic.’’ you mumbled. 

,,Why?’’ he kept asking. 

,,Because….you wouldn’t understand….I just need to enter the Nordic Rifle Field-Shooting and for that I need to learn something new…’’ you mumbled and went on. 

,,Mc, what are you doing?’’ he asked you again. 

This time you stopped the video and looked at him with annoyed eyes. 

,,Zenny, I’m a rifle shooter, I need to enter something to show myself and other that I’m good…you-‚‘’ 

,,Mc, if you don’t show me, I can’t understand…I want to support you so please tell me…’’ Zen was hurt by your words and you felt guilty and so the two of you visited a shooting range and showed him, what you were doing and Zen was amazed by you. 

Your art to hold the pistol, your elegant moves and your look. 

,,Amazing…’’ he moaned when you smiled at him, satisfied with yourself. 

Yoosung 

,,Where are we going?’’ Yoosung asked you when you told him that you wanted to choose the pace for your date. 

Yoosung was really excited to see the place you were taking him. 

But he never expected a shooting hall so he was somehow a bit surprised. 

,,Mc…?’’ he wanted to ask you something but the someone called your name and hugged you. 

,,So! This is your hubby?’’ the woman asked you and smiled at Yoosung. 

,,Yes, that’s my husband Yoosung. Yoosung, this is my student Ji Hoo’’you told him. 

Yoosung didn’t understand anything anymore. 

,,What?!’’ he asked you when you told him that you were a teacher and a pretty famous person in this sport. 

,,Why didn’t I notice…?’’ he asked you and made you laugh. 

,,Teach me too!’’ he insisted and so you taught him how you handle a gun and how to shoot at something. 

He was pretty bad but at least the two of you had a lot of fun. 

Jaehee 

,,Why did you move out from your parents place?’’ Jaehee asked you. 

,,Well…’’ you began. 

,,My parents weren’t really happy about my hobby. My best friend’s dad taught me how to shoot and supported me with paying my tuition together with my friends. And I was pretty good thank to the both of them but somehow my parents hated it. It wasn’t lady-like. And when my master died, my friend decided to move away and leave our hobby behind and I was left alone with my parents. I decided for myself that this hobby was the bets for me so I kept doing it and when my parents tried to take it away, I just ran away. And today I’m here, taking part in a Competition to become the champion.’’ you told her. 

Jaehee kept nodding. She didn’t expect you to be like that. 

Yes, you were a tomboy but she never expected you to do this kind of sport. 

But still she was pretty interested into it. 

She supported you and watched you while you were training every day. 

Your friend saw you grow, approaching hardship and good times and she loved you so much for choosing your own path instead of your parent’s path. 

Saeyoung 

Saeyoung already knew that you were doing this kind of sport. 

But he never expected you to carry your hand gun all of the time! 

So, when Saeran took out his gun and shot at Jihyun, you were quickly enough to shoot back, shooting away his gun without injuring him

Everyone was amazed for a short time, even Saeyoung, who didn’t expect this. 

A few years later your fiance could laugh about it. 

But he promised to himself that he wouldn’t do anything to tease you because you had a toy gun with M&M…. 

And well, whenever someone got on your nerves you shot at them…. 

And Saeyoung was one of the people who were haunted a lot of times….

So, a secret agent could be killed by his wife…..

Saeran 

None would think that you, the sweet girlish woman are the one, who won three times the gold medal at the Olympics. 

But it was true. 

And Saeran kidnapped you because of that. 

He loved you from the first time and knew that if something would happen to him you could either safe both or just yourself. 

And your life was the most important thing. 

He loved the shine in your eyes every time you were outside and practiced with your rifle. 

You even gave her a name, which made you even cuter. 

Though, he was a bit afraid that you could kill him in the future with one of your 50 Guns….

Jihyun 

To be honest Jihyun didn’t like these kind of things. 

,,That’s so dangerous!’’ he said and looked at the guns. 

,,Jihuyn, I can’t hurt anyone since the range is protected! And beside I think I’m kind of good enough to tell a human from a metal target!’’ you told him, kind of disappointed that he didn’t trust you that much. 

,,Yes but still!’’ he snapped. 

And you got angry. 

,,Do you know what’s fucking dangerous?! Leaving your girlfriend in the state you left her because she ended up brain washing so many people and killed the person who was dear to me! That’s fucking dangerous, idiot!’’ you yelled. 

Jihyun looked at you, he was shocked by your statement because he realized how right you were. 

,,I’m sorry….’’ he mumbled. 

,,You know?! This isn’t something you can be sorry about! Some scars won’t heal ever! It is dangerous but I’m doing this in a fucking hall where none can get hurt!’’ you sobbed. 

Jihuyn hugged you and said sorry. 

,,I’m afraid that you will hurt someone and will break apart because of that…’’ he mumbled and hugged your body. 

Vanderwood 

,,Woah.’’ he moaned when he first saw you. 

,,I’m good, right?’’ you asked him, proud of yourself.

,,Well, I know better killer. You’re okay. A beginner.’’ he told you and chuckled at your face. 

You were so angry that you kept practicing daily with him until he told you that you were perfect. 

And you soon became even better than Vanderwood who trained you. 

Some day you noticed that he did this all to motivate you. 

When you asked him why, he told you

,,I wanted to be sure that you could defend yourself and our family….the company won’t give up….’’ he mumbled and kissed. 

This was the sweetest love confession Vanderwood ever gave you. 

,,It would be troublesome to protect you….’’ he lied and made you smile. 

MASTERLIST 1MASTERLIST 2

31.01.’19// 23:13 MEST

Tagged: 

@foreversunshine-love @giulia2372 @milkyxstrawberry 

@widya345 @remiliadacalde @sailormoonrocks666 

[getting-rid-of-anniex]

An (Un)Healthy Check up

This is me, probably about 6 / 7 years old...?...(looks like I’m busy burying a vampire I’ve just staked?)...what I would give to let that little girl know that she really is enough, and to never let the world get her down so much so that she questions herself.

Fast forward 31 years and I’m now on a quest to try and get back to being as much like that carefree child. The most stressful thing I had to think about then, was whether I would get some sweets at the weekend and if Barbie and Ken would like the salon I’d made for them out of toilet rolls and a load of old boxes.

The unfortunate thing about ‘LIFE’ is that - ‘LIFE HAPPENS’(!) and the person you become is built up of many moments and experiences. In my case, my moments and experiences ended up helping to construct someone lacking confidence and overflowing with anxiety. I started dieting from about the age of 15 (and since then the weight only went up!) Friendships became toxic and I ended up having to build myself a new peer group. I developed a pattern of using food and drink to both celebrate and commiserate. I overindulged on happy days, sad days, sunny days, rainy days; to plaster over a stressful situation, and gee myself up when I needed some dutch courage. My health took a battering, developing asthma, bad knees (at one point the doctor did say I had arthritis...later on rescinding this?!?), IBS and depression. I’ve gone through stages of going totally bonkers with exercise, from running every day, to not at all and just lying on the sofa eating crisps. I tried so many times to follow weight loss programs - if only I’d saved that money instead. After repeatedly falling off the wagon I’d restart another program with so much excitement, only for the hard work to start and the realisation that this wouldn’t be a walk in the park, to hit. I’d throw in the towel and unhappily stuff my face (self sabotage anyone?) My stomach was in a constant mess resulting in time off work (and increased time in the loo!). I tried gluten free, but again after a month or two of symptoms easing and feeling good I’d then decide it wasn’t as bad as originally thought and devour everything in sight, only to go shooting right back to the beginning. As well as feeling like crap because my stomach was in agony, I’d also be mentally berating myself for not being able to stick to anything AGAIN. Why didn’t I have the ability to stick to anything? Especially when all the things I was doing, I was doing in the hope of helping myself?

Appointment no.1

After realising finally just how much I was hurting myself, and how much I was struggling, and after crying on the shoulders of some very amazing friends and family (I really hope you guys know who you are) I decided to see the doctor. To help with my IBS, anxiety and stress (which was a bowlful of Catch-22 IBS related loveliness!!!) I was prescribed anti depressants. Whilst these helped initially, they didn’t touch my inner demons. Self destructive patterns were repeated and the only thing I learnt, was how better to hide things from others.

This must stop!

Back in 2018 my body finally had had enough. After feeling like utter shite for months on end, monitoring over the course of a few weeks how my heart would start racing (just sitting at my desk) and having increasing episodes of hot flushes, I knew I needed to get in contact with the doctor. This time I really wanted to do something...and I was scared. The ball got moving though earlier  than I’d planned.

Sitting at work my heart suddenly started to race. (There were no harsh words/emails, up-coming meetings/reviews, and I hadn’t eaten a heavy or spicy meal, there wasn’t anything in fact that could explain why this was happening). It felt as though I was having a panic attack (although never having had one, I couldn’t say for sure?). Luckily I was able to get an appointment with the doctor (another one) later that same day. I feel forever grateful to have been given an appointment with this particular doctor. For the first time ever I felt listened to, rather than just hurried along with the explanation for everything being the bog (pun intended) standard ‘gluten intolerance’. This went so much deeper. I was booked in for blood tests (and stool samples - yuck!)  to check for any intolerances (also checking for Crohn’s and Celiac disease)/vitamin deficiencies, given leaflets on the FODMAP diet (although I do feel like this isn’t the full answer for my stomach issues, it definitely helped to fully monitor what foods were triggering my IBS symptoms). We also had a bloody good talk. I didn’t feel like I was just another foot through the door and that the clock was being watched; I really could have hugged my Doc. I left feeling so positive (for most probably the first time in years). Even if we couldn’t rule everything out straight away (there would be a lot of trial and error in the up-coming months), it felt as though someone was on my side and wanted to help. Someone had finally just sat and listened (I’m not including friends and family in that comment - believe me, they definitely have done more than their share of hand holding and listening. This just meant so much, having someone from the health profession listen rather than assume.)

Blood test results

Well the results came in: B12 deficient and lacking folic acid. (I did have to have a further round of blood tests to rule out Pernicious Anemia, but this came back negative.) I also had to provide a ‘sample’, but the only embarrassing part about this was the idiot monkey behind the reception desk deciding that she needed to shout out across the waiting room that my little tube contained pooh (ground please swallow me up!!!)

Diet

B12 and folic acid were tackled with supplement vitamins and a controlled diet (at the time I was going through the FODMAP diet - which was so hard to navigate. So in the mean time I’ve knocked that on the head, but have tried to limit certain foods and just be more mindful about what I am putting into my body - for example I don’t eat apples as they really don’t like my stomach, I have to be careful how much beetroot/coffee/chickpeas, nuts and chocolate I have and I do try to limit bread/pasta. I was put on a list to speak to a dietician....I’m still waiting to see them!)

I have also rejoined WW online (but if being truthful, I’m still struggling with this. It’s still that bit too easy for me to not track all foods). It’s definitely a work in progress. The recipes are fantastic - I just need to be more honest with it if it’s going to work. One positive with this app though is that it has helped learning to track my weight only once a week (I used to have a day ritual of weighing myself).

I’ve cut right back on alcohol (to be another post soon, as this is a whole other story in itself). I’m already feeling the benefits, and some of them in unexpected ways - my skin has never felt/looked clearer (and from someone who is obsessed with studying the wrinkles on her forehead, this has been a fantastic bonus).

Fitness

I’ve downloaded some fitness apps to try and increase the amount of exercise I do (sitting at a desk for 8 hours a day does not help with general fitness!)

ZR5K: I’m currently doing a 5K training app (learning to run whilst escaping from Zombies - I’ve not used this app when it’s dark, I think it would unnerve me too much).

Race at your pace*: I’ve signed up for ‘Race at your pace’ (it was only £10 (medal only option)...and I get a medal at the end - as long as I complete my target of 25 miles run through out January). This has been a real motivator - I love the idea of getting a medal at the end of the month. This has also been mega easy to implement - I just track at the same time as escaping Zombies! *£10 for a medal - more if you want a Race at your pace top. **mile target is set by yourself and you can complete it by either running/walking or swimming for that particular month. MapMyRun: I currently use this as well, to track where I’m going and how long it’s taking me. It’s been a brilliant tool for monitoring average pace, and I’m hoping as the months role by to see this improving. Yoga: I’m also starting to implement some yoga into my daily routine too. I find that as well as it helping to stretch and loosen my muscles after a run (very slow shuffle), it also helps me to unwind and switch off.

Mindfulness

Breathe: I have downloaded a relaxation and meditation app. As with all the apps I’m currently using, I’ve gone for the free option so with this particular one, I don’t get the longer/more specific meditations, but there are still a great range to select from. They have been really helpful unwinding before bed. I just need to get into a better routine of using this daily.

Supportive networks

The hubby, friends and family have all been invaluable to me getting to where I am now. My husband is an amazing man (also a pain in the arse, but hey - I’ll forgive him that) and I absolutely cherish all he does in order to help me on my journey to being a better, happier human being! I cannot stress enough, how you need people around you who (may not have the answers but) will listen - without judgement. I feel so incredibly lucky to have the people around me who I know I can talk to, cry on and ask opinions of. I’ve been incredibly honest with my boss. Luckily he is someone who I know I can talk to and he’s been very understanding. After worrying about time off work due to sickness (stress/IBS/depression issues etc) I opened up completely about everything - food, health (mental and physical)....and I’ve even asked if I can set my health goals as part of my personal development target at work. (Being proactive about helping myself can surely only have a positive impact on my work/life balance. A happier/healthier worker will have a better attitude at work and (I’m hoping) a more productive output???)

Other ‘things’

I’ve also tried to absorb anything and everything that is supportive, positive that will help shore up my personal goals on my journey to self improvement.

I’ve downloaded healthy living podcasts, listened to audio books on being alcohol free and been reading ‘self help’ books - such as ‘The Happiness Equation’.

So this is me - minus the fringe and wondering if I should have curled my hair (see, I’m still a stress head). I’m not 100% healthy or happy but I’m trying my hardest to get there. I’ve got a lot of things to figure out but this time I’m willing to try. I may not be a little six year old happily sitting on the beach, but I’m determined to approach life with that same open and curious mindset...and vampires beware, I’ll still stake and bury you, no questions asked if you try to bite!

______________________________________

That’s all for now folks.

Along the way Annie X came on the scene. I’ll explain my relationship with her in the next ‘session’.

Thanks, be kind to each other and I’ll see you next time R (and Annie X) x

[inevitable-anna]

Escape The Night S4X04 Spoilers.

Hello! I’m back with another reaction post for S4X04, and I shall hopefully have a reaction post for S4X05 up at some point tomorrow.

Here we go...

[[MORE]]

"The evil of the museum has begun to infect some of the heroes" while showing Alex and Destorm? Sketchy! (I also have a theory about this on my page if anyone's interested).

I'm worried that the Emperor is gonna have that woman killed for beating him at the game.

Phew! Oh okay, she's safe. I was getting worried there.

He wants to stay single because he finds the women are boring? Oookayyyy then.

All the doors are opening and this doesn't look good for the group!

Uh oh, that fog coming from the Chinese Dragon does not look good!

All the guys have disappeared?

*all the guys disappear/get kidnapped by a Chinese Dragon* Ro: "I kinda like this." Gabbie: "I agree." Colleen: "This is much better." Lol

Ro is the best! "Oh, my gosh. We could start an all girls' band." I love how they guys disappeared and she immediately wants to start a girl group!

Ro went for it with that Chinese fire cracker! Her groan after smashing it on her knee! That sounded like it really hurt! I’m glad no-one else smashed them on their knees and fired them instead!

It looks like in this episode, we are gonna get some more Ro screen time! Woohoo!

‘Mate’ Good thinking Tana! :)

The girls get told they have to try to court the Emperor and Gabbie immediately apologises to Tana because they know Tana is gonna fail the etiquette task!

The Sorceress is my favourite helper in all of ETN! "Isn't it obvious? Wed him, kill him, and take the kingdom." I love how she is completely serious as she says it.

ASDFGHJKL! I didn’t expect the girls to agree with her! Ro: "That's not a bad idea." Colleen: "That's better."

Oh okay, we're with the guys now... and they are all chained up. To quote ‘The Duchess’... “Kinky”!

"I know nothing, but I sure can act like I do." *the rebels immediately figure out that Joey knows nothing* Really, Joey? Really. ‘,:|

Am I the only one thinking that the rebels aren't very smart? If you want the guys to find the spear in an hour, then unchain them and they'll have more time to get your spear? ‘,:\

Okay, now we’re back with girls.

Hahaha! Oh my god... "I think mom, she's a little delusional cause her son clearly does not bat for this team".

Bretman made that board breaking challenge look so easy! Go Bretman!

Joey: *volunteers for strength pull ups challenge* Destorm: "We're gonna die." Mood.

Why do I love Ro making up her assassination plan so much? "Put the pin in my hair and I can just be like... *crazy unintelligible noise* in his... in his eyeball."

Colleen: "See now you're talking." Ro: "I feel like 'Kill Bill'." Ohh you know, typical girl chat. We always discuss ways to assassinate an annoying Emperor and steal from him.

I feel like if I was in this episode of ETN, the Emperor would probably have me killed within 2 minutes of meeting him...

I love Tana! “Okay, I'm at least gonna like, ho it up."

THE EMPERORS MUM'S FACE WHEN TANA SHAKES HER ASS IN FRONT OF THE EMPEROR IS HILARIOUS!!!!

I've actually lost it at this point! "Have you heard of twerking, my king?" "If we get married you can see it."

Oh my gosh! "I don't care if your mom's right there, I'll flirt with you right now."

Gabbie: "The way you're fingering those... two balls is very attractive." Ro, Tana, and Colleen: "muffled giggling". I don’t know how Gabbie managed to say that without laughing.

"I guess the Emperor really wants to know what twerking is. And I don't blame him." I choked.

Okay, back with the guys again.

Wow! Joey is killing those pull ups! And in full armour!

Alex... dude...

"I spent a lot of time in China. I actually lived there for a year, teaching English and we used chopsticks all the time." I'm a huge fan of Ro, how did I not know this?

Oh my gosh! Was not expecting Colleen to just throw the dumpling behind her! I’m sort of hoping that the Emperors mum slips on one, while she’s pacing.

Tana, Gabbie, and Colleen: *struggling to eat the dumplings and sometimes throwing them away* Ro: *eats them all and wins challenge*

“Aggressive with her mouth” and I opp...

Destorm did well on the chess challenge.

Never thought I'd see Miranda in ETN! Maybe she wants the Emperor to be her new bae?

"I speak conversational Mandarin Chinese." How did I not know this!?! Ro is surprising me left, right, and center in this episode! Go Ro!

I’m sorry but what was Tana doing?

RO IS MARRYING THE EMPEROR!!!! At least she’s safe from the death challenge.

The guys have the dragon spear! Yay!

What is it with Colleen and the word 'kinky' this episode? I swear that's like, the third time she's said it.

Of course, the Emperor wants a battle to the death at his wedding!

Alex is literally asking Destorm "So how do I be evil?" I don't trust him at all!

Gabbie votes for Destorm because she's sure that he can save Ro! I still want a Ro, Gabbie and Destorm friendship!

Ro's little gasp and her face, when she sees Alex and Destorm, is so sweet!

Ro: "A death duel at our wedding?" Emperor: "Of course, darling." Ro: "Is this really tradition?" Ro trying to get the Emperor to stop the duel. :(

Ro: "Who picked that entertainment... monster-in-law."

Aww! Ro trying to stop the challenge is so sweet! "You think we could've just done maybe like the cha cha slide?"

"This is for Lauren." What?! What the......... Oh no! No!

"Destorm. Did he just sacrifice himself?" Oh no... here goes the Destorm and Ro friendship I hoped for... :(

Gabbie is gonna feel guilty because she was one of the people who voted Destorm in, because she knew he could save Ro!

Ro... "Hubby, no, that's my friend." Her face after the Emperor stabs Destorm!

R.I.P Destorm Power.

First death- Executed with an arrow by the ‘Dark Army’.

Second death- Stabbed by the Emperor.

Ro is so shocked after the Emperor gets stabbed.

Okay, I feel sorry for Ro, she has just seen her friend sacrifice himself and get murdered by her fiancé. Then some random person comes in and stabs her fiancé, she didn’t like him, but I still feel bad for her.

"This is the Red Wedding. [laughing] What is happening right now?" I'm asking exactly the same question, Alex.

Ro: "This is the worst wedding ever! I've never planned a dream wedding, but none of these things would be on my Pinterest board." Yeah... this probably does make it onto a list of bad weddings.

"Please. Alex is as much of a villain as I am straight." I still think that you may be proved wrong there at some point, Joey. I don’t trust Alex.

"Death is coming for you." Well... that's... very... dramatic?

So that’s it for this reaction post, I’m sorry it’s late. But I should have one for S4X05 up tomorrow.

Have a nice day! :)