#why does everyone feel the need to threaten or manipulate Natsume into helping them when he's like the nicest anime protagonist

[businesstiramisu]

The episodic writing of Natusme Yuujinchou improves so much across the seasons (esp the 6th) and i think the two Shibata episodes are a really good demonstration of this.

Honestly I don’t even have much to say about the first one, I don’t remember it very well. But suffice to say “Shibata is deeply unpleasant to Natsume but Natsume helps him anyways because he’s pathologically nice.” Not the worst episode but definitely not one of my favorites.

But S6 Shibata!!! Still an asshole, but like, an asshole who cares! Hilariously so! take the opening phone call --

What Shibata means: I want to thank you for helping me even though I was cruel to you, and check up on you to see you’re doing alright.

What Shibata actually says: Hey Natsume! You don’t have any friends so you’re free right? Want to hang out tomorrow?

Natsume: I’m busy, actually. Meeting *a friend* in fact.

Shibata: Okay great bring him too!

So then Natsume brings Tanuma along to another town, because, pathologically nice, see above.

And then Shibata’s like: Oh great you actually showed up! And hey you DO have a friend! I thought you were just making up excuses to blow me off.

Tanuma, just vibing: hey

[everythingsinred]

Let's Talk About NatsuMikan: Natsume (pt. 2)

And we're back with more exciting and mean Natsume! Here we will further explore Natsume's life and how absolutely dark his existence is, as well as some very important aspects of his personality that will be useful to us when NatsuMikan starts picking up speed.

Again, I am warning people that this whole essay in general talks heavily about topics like bullying, child abuse, suicidal ideation, and depression, so if those are triggering topics, it might be better for you to not read.

Previously, we were introduced to Natsume and he has sent Mikan on a dangerous quest to the Northern Woods. During that trip, she and her friends have captured his one and only best friend, Ruka, which will not bode well.

Chapter Five

Chapter Five is instrumental for completing Natsume’s introduction, long as it’s been. Natsume is a mysterious character, and he will continue to be evasive and strange for many chapters to come, but by the end of this chapter, we will understand some basic foundation for his character.

The chapter starts with Ruka’s point of view, recalling a moment when he saw Natsume cry, presumably after a mission. Ruka wonders why it’s only Natsume that has to go through “this”, and Natsume tells him that he can take it--for now. He says he wants to grow up and be an adult, to be big and strong enough to properly escape this hell. This is a consistent wish of Natsume’s, and in many ways his only wish: to grow up already.

Higuchi really out here trying to convince us this was supposed to be a cheerful story.

Natsume had to be an adult, had to make the selfless and responsible choices for the sake of his family and for Ruka, had to abandon play and smiles and laughter for a life of secret missions and frequent hospital trips. He’s dying and he wants to be an adult already because he’s certain he’ll never be able to grow up. He wants his body to match the level of responsibility he’s had to take on, but he can’t force the outside to match the inside, especially when he’ll probably be dead long before it happens anyway. This wish evolves and changes when he falls for Mikan, but it doesn’t go away.

He associates adulthood with control, because his life at the academy has been observing the adults control and use him. He wants control for once, to be able to make a choice and even just say no.

Ruka notes that Natsume hasn’t cried at all since that night, and that he now keeps all his sorrow locked away. This kid needs therapy, immediately. This is another reason that Ruka is so precious to Natsume. Ruka is compassionate and kind, so concerned about his friend that he would also shut away his own heart so that he can’t be happy for as long as Natsume is in agony.

Natsume has a scene of his own, where he snaps at Permy for saying that Mikan is full of crap and lying about being an alice. He points out that the academy is not an easy place to lie your way into, and Permy immediately backtracks and lies that she’s agreed with him this whole time. Like I’d said earlier about the loneliness involved in being surrounded by fans who don’t really know or understand you, having people all around you bend over backwards for your approval makes it clear that they really have no interest in what you’re saying, just that you’re the one saying it.

In the anime essay, I’d pointed out that because of their admiration for him, it would elude people that Natsume is in fact lonely. He speaks out against things and people rush to agree, not really considering why he might say that. This is a similar moment, though he doesn’t seem too bothered by Permy’s behavior. It’s still concerning, but it’s interesting to compare this “yes, man” attitude to Ruka’s.

There is obviously a difference between someone agreeing with every word of your mouth no matter how much it changes and contradicts, bending over backwards for your approval, and someone wanting to match you out of compassion, but Ruka’s line of thinking does still have some major flaws.

Ruka is a child, just like the rest of them, so even though this behavior is motivated by love and compassion, it’s still immature and raises some questions.

“If you won’t smile, I won’t smile either,” is a sweet line, but now Natsume is aware that Ruka’s misery is his fault. If he wasn’t so sad, Ruka could be happy. This doesn’t make Natsume happy; it just makes them both sad, and that doesn’t solve any problems. Naturally, Natsume would never say that, and Ruka would claim he’s unbothered and--just like Natsume--that he doesn’t care about hanging out with the others, but they’re both miserable now, and I think this is part of the reason why there’s a gap between them at the start of the manga, and why they’re a bit distant, despite being best friends.

They’re each other’s most important person, but they don’t really communicate that well, and Ruka constantly feels like a burden.

Natsume needs something that Ruka can’t give him, and that something is what he’ll eventually get from Mikan.

That being said, at the moment, Natsume is getting nothing but irritation from Mikan. When he finds out Mikan and her gang kidnapped Ruka, that irritation turns into rage and we see a final fundamental building block for Natsume’s character: his berserk button.

Natsume doesn’t care about the reasoning or justification for the kidnapping. He doesn’t care about explanations or common sense.

His rage only increases when he discovers Ruka was tied up and even beaten (he is told this by a classmate, when Ruka is actually unharmed). The other kids in Class B--his admirers--are terrified to see how scary Natsume is when he’s furious.

Natsume's biggest weakness is Ruka so Mikan is kinda fucked.

He doesn’t care about the game anymore. He only cares about Ruka.

So he goes to the Northern Woods, where nobody is expecting him. He tells Mikan to leave the school, which… she cannot do, obviously. He is overtaken by rage and he ceases to be reasonable.

He uses his alice on everyone but Ruka, and is about to use it on Mikan, but her alice nullifies it. Then Narumi kisses him, prompting him to pass out.

Here, we are introduced to a consistent character trait of Natsume’s, one that may contradict all that talk about forced maturity and selflessness. In fact, Natsume’s habit to go absolutely postal on anyone who threatens a loved one is a contradictory one. Going into a rage requires the sacrifice of common sense and reason for the sake of complete emotional detonation, and as a result he fails to understand that his actions could inadvertently hurt his loved ones or innocent bystanders. No reassuring words are enough to calm him down, and sure enough Natsume will destroy something.

It’s important that we see this trait now, as part of Natsume’s informal introduction, as we will see plenty more instances of it later on. In a way, going berserk for someone can even be a love language of his, where if a person being threatened is enough to set him off, he probably cares about them.

And just as interesting as seeing what he does in these situations is posing the why! Why is it that Natsume goes ballistic in these situations, when it requires the loss of the one thing he wishes he had more of, control? My guess is that Natsume has had a rough childhood and much of that time was spent running away from a dangerous entity. Staying cool and calculated under some conditions would have its benefits, but so would the quick-action and confidence that Natsume would gain by going berserk. When you have to protect someone, and Natsume has been in that situation many times, then it’s sometimes even beneficial to be able to lose yourself for a moment or two. But perhaps it’s not that either. Natsume is, despite all his airs of coldness and mystery, actually a very emotional person, and in that way he is easy to understand. Even if this isn’t a habit he developed by watching his loved ones ripped away from him through either extortion, manipulation, or just plain murder, it’s still something he might be predisposed to: attacking with everything he has despite not having a clear plan or even any real thought.

Chapter Six

We pick up where we left off and Natsume wakes up grumpy after everyone seeing him under the effects of Narumi’s pheromone alice. He causes more destruction, still in somewhat of a rage, and even causes Narumi a head wound though his teacher seems unbothered by this (or maybe even used to it, who can say).

The next thing that happens is that an alarm rings, signaling that Natsume is due for severe punishment, and, as Naru points out, not something he can help with this time. Narumi warns him to get a move on before a mystery enemy (Persona) arrives, and that is enough to scare Natsume into getting out of there. But not before he issues a word of warning of his own to Mikan, that she will regret coming to Alice Academy of her own free will.

Isn't it interesting how her optimism, something he hated so much about her from the start, ends up being something he loves about her?

I have very many thoughts about this warning. It might even seem like a threat, as if Natsume will go out of his way to make sure she regrets her decision, but he does no such thing. He is convinced that Mikan doesn’t need help reaching that conclusion--she will realize it on her own because the school is simply that terrible.

It makes a little bit of sense to view Natsume’s hatred of Mikan this way: Mikan skipped right into his own personal hell with a smile on her face and a bubbly attitude. Meanwhile, he fought and kicked and screamed right until the very end when he was forced into attending the academy. And Mikan is not some normal girl who might be able to live a quiet and pleasant life in the academy. She’s already been marked, what with all the games about her enrollment, and that might anger Natsume even more: she’s really naive enough to walk into a place that’s not just hell to him, but inevitably to her too. Because of this, Natsume hates her and is predisposed to hate her more the more cheerful and optimistic she is.

And, unlike in the anime, this hatred takes much longer to go away.

Anyway, we see Natsume again later in class, when he shows up late after having just been terribly abused as punishment for his actions in the Northern Woods.

In the anime, Natsume catches Mikan insulting him while wearing the punishment mask, and although he’s covered in scratches and the kids are whispering about his bad mood, there’s not much else to it. He doesn’t seem any more unpleasant than he’s been this whole time.

There's nothing funny about this but I will put here as a warning that anybody who jokes that kids should be hit will be hit by me!

In the manga, Natsume is so weak that he can hardly stand. It’s not just scratches, but blood and gashes on his wrists and legs. The mask is not only used to mark him, it’s also used to punish, by physically abusing him when Persona has better things to do.

He makes his way to his seat, but Narumi is on the way, just enough to make a quippy comment.

(I wonder sometimes about Narumi establishing himself as untrustworthy to the children, particularly Natsume, and how exactly that’s supposed to be a help to the student body at large. I mean there’s the possibility that Mikan is special, and her being Yuka’s daughter helped Narumi remember what he became a teacher for. In that case, it might make sense that Narumi, being so jaded and bitter, might be content acting as a villain to the abused children of the academy, and especially to Natsume, but I can’t help but feel that’s not the case. I don’t want to think that Narumi was willingly complicit and even amused by Natsume’s abuse. It’s difficult to tell for sure, though, because Narumi is way more mysterious than Natsume tries to be.)

Sumire tries to kiss up, whining to Natsume about how everyone is suddenly acting so nice to the new girl, until Natsume forcefully kicks her desk to shut her up. He only holds back with Ruka, who he would never lash out at.

Narumi then announces that Mikan shall have a partner, and that her partner will be Natsume. It’s funny because although Hotaru made it clear she didn’t want the job, Iinchou was willing to volunteer, but Narumi ignores that because he always wanted Natsume to be her partner. At this news, everyone is shocked, wondering if Mikan is supposed to be special, seeing as she’s paired up with Natsume of all people.

Narumi smiles to himself despite the chaos and then lets himself leave the classroom, saying, “let’s see what happens.”

Why does he partner them up?

Mikan thinks Narumi is crazy for this, and from an outside perspective it certainly might seem that way.

Natsume’s theory, as becomes clear later during the exams, is that this was organized by the ESP and Persona, perhaps as a punishment, but definitely with ulterior motives. He is closer to nailing it, but a little off. There is no way in hell the ESP would want to partner the child of rabble-rousers with the school’s pet child soldier. That’s a recipe for disaster. Knowing that the ESP was excited to welcome Mikan because of her alice, and that her presence at the school might encourage Yuka to try and save her, he wouldn’t have wanted to disturb his own plans.

So what is the reason?

It’s all Narumi, of course. Perhaps the O.G. shipper, Narumi could tell right away that Mikan’s nullification would be useful, particularly in regards to Natsume. Pairing them up is just another means to an end, as Narumi actually wants the kids to raise some trouble.

Chapter Seven

Being partners with Natsume is quite unhelpful.

Mikan ends up a No-Star and her Special-Star partner is for the most part absent throughout her ordeals, having to cope with it all on her own.

Chapter Seven is mainly lacking Natsume. He functions to not function for most of it, that is to establish himself as being a terrible partner.

There is a moment that stands out, when Mikan is writing a letter to her grandpa, where Natsume appears. Yes, he appears in her head to taunt her about her regret coming to the school, and she spites him by committing to optimism and determination in the future. But he also has a short appearance paralleling a panel of Mikan: they are both in their beds, awake.

WHAT WAS THE REASON?????!??!?!?

This parallel is interesting, their panels right next to each other. She is thinking about her grandpa, and we have no way of knowing what Natsume is thinking about, but there has to be a reason for him to appear despite having been mostly absent so far in the chapter.

To me, it’s another narrative tool to pair them together. They have been so far, in more ways than one, and will continue to be as they fall in love, and this is just another example of how they’d been fated from the start. Even when they hate each other, and even when they aren’t thinking of each other, they’re still tied. Looking at those panels, and seeing Natsume despite his relative irrelevance to the plot, seems to be a message that there’s more to come between them. I don’t know if any of what I’m saying makes sense, or if it seems silly, but there’s very little analysis I can do without just talking about potential.

Later, with Mikan in a new mood, ready to make the most of her situation, the kids are talking about her resilience with both her no-star status and having Natsume as a partner.

Ruka does the talking for Natsume, warning Mikan that she’s being watched and remarking that nobody should have been assigned a no-star for simply disturbing class.

Once again, Mikan and Natsume are paired: they are both treated unfairly, with Mikan given a no-star status she doesn’t deserve, and Natsume given a special-star status despite the fact that he doesn’t even go to class most of the time. They’re the exceptions to the rule, and the reader is made to wonder what exactly it is that they have in common that would result in this treatment.

Ruka tells Mikan not to trust any teachers at the academy, not even Naru, and this is almost like hearing from Natsume himself. Unlike Mikan, who will happily make strong bonds with teachers like Narumi and Nodacchi, Natsume has absolutely no positive adult figures in his life. His father is far away, his mother is dead, and every teacher is someone he holds either directly or indirectly responsible for his suffering. The adults at the school have failed him and he has nobody to trust. Something Natsume needs is a positive role model, somebody he can look up to and have faith in, because as it stands he’s a traumatized boy who absorbs negativity and takes it out in bad ways. A trustworthy adult would very much help Natsume grow and learn better coping skills, and in the meantime it makes perfect sense that he would act out and even be a bully at times.

Chapter Eight

Natsume has a habit of ignoring any and all episodes where Mikan has confrontations with her teachers. He is either dozing off or listening to music with Ruka, and doesn’t seem particularly interested in even watching.

That being said, we see a new side to Natsume in this chapter, a new emotion in a way we haven’t before: fear.

Natsume ditches class with regularity. He does not care about being present. For most classes, he would simply walk out and go screw around somewhere else, but with the dangerous ability class, he doesn’t have that choice.

The other teachers may be complicit, but they won’t do the abuse themselves. Persona is not above that, as we have already noticed despite never even seeing him so far.

If Natsume does not want to attend the dangerous ability class, then he has to run for it, and in this chapter he does, like his life depends on it, because his safety sure does. He’s only ten years old and forced to do horrible missions for the school. This is one of the scenes that reminds me that he is just a child. He knows he could get punished for running, but he does it anyway. Maybe, if he runs fast enough, they won’t catch him. Maybe, if he doesn’t get caught, he doesn’t have to go on a mission. Maybe, just this once, they won’t mind if he doesn’t show. It’s such a childish and desperate thing to do, to avoid pain at the cost of more pain to come.

Natsume is scary when he's scared...

It’s funny that as he is running from pain, he runs into Mikan, who will later alleviate his pain. For now, he just shuts her up so that Persona can pass the area while looking for him. We see Persona for the first time, what Natsume is scared of more than anything, and although his fear seems obvious, Mikan is preoccupied by annoyance for being shut up like that.

They bicker--or she bickers at him, mostly--until the middle schoolers encounter them and start bullying them.

Natsume is ready to ignore them and walk away, until Sumire’s brother calls him a murderer, reminding us of the rumor Hotaru and Iinchou discussed. Natsume stops, and Sumire’s brother whines that he’s just a special star because he’s “Persona’s favorite”.

Sumire and her brother have, like, nothing in common other than curly hair, huh.

Being Persona’s favorite is no privilege, as we know now from the run-in we just had with him and Natsume’s fear. This sets Natsume off and he starts some fires. When they threaten to call Persona, who Natsume was just running from, he responds that they can call him all they want, but he’ll burn them before he can get there to capture him. We see once again, through Natsume standing up for himself, that his berserk button lacks reason (as he is willing to sacrifice punishment by Persona again).

In a last-ditch attempt to threaten him, the middle schoolers threaten Mikan, who they perceive to be Natsume’s new girlfriend. (Calling her his girlfriend is interesting because it is even more proof that they are being narratively paired together! It shouldn’t be a surprise at all that they eventually get together, when almost everybody around them pairs them up like this, even when they can’t stand each other.) They do not expect that Natsume actually hates her, and genuinely doesn’t care if she gets bullied or not. He smiles in twisted amusement at this turn of events and walks away for good this time, leaving Mikan to be bullied.

Aw, he's smiling! How sweet.... oh wait that's a skull.

Now, Natsume is a good person deep inside, somebody who is selfless and kind in secret ways. There is no secret kindness about this scene. He is not a nice person, for sure, and this scene is proof of it.

Natsume is used to sacrificing himself for the comfort and well-being of his loved ones, so there might be relief in not caring about the comfort or well-being of somebody, and being able to choose his own well-being before that of somebody else for once. It makes sense that he would be so amused, because this time nobody has anything to hold over his head.

Conclusion

We have seen some more of the abuse Natsume faces on a daily basis. He and Mikan have been partnered up and they are presented narratively as foils and as pairs even outside of that dynamic.

For the next part, we'll see even more examples of them being paired together, as well as how Natsume is isolated from his classmates.

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[everythingsinred]

Let's Talk About NatsuMikan: Natsume (pt. 15)

I'm posting this on time! Yay! I'll try to be timely tomorrow as well. Be patient with me if I can't ;-;

This will be the final part of the New Year's Arc. Natsume and his friends reunite and fight to save Aoi. Unfortunately, this fight will take a victim, and for once it's not Natsume.

Chapter Sixty-Six

We see Natsume again, still in a stand-off with Yakumo. Things change, however, when Nobara “wakes up” in a trance. All thoughts of getting Natsume out of the dungeon are gone from her mind now. She’s just another of Persona’s weapons, ready to fulfill her orders without any pesky hesitation or guilt.

And even later, when Mikan rejoins the group, we can see that Natsume is guarding his friends with his alice while Nobara’s rages on. He suggests he and Mikan work together to stop Nobara. He can use his alice to protect them from the ice, and she can use hers to stop Nobara’s alice completely. It’s interesting that Natsume has gotten to such a nonviolent point. He doesn’t even like Nobara, since she’s a teacher’s pet and he doesn’t trust her at all. But he knows she doesn’t mean any ill will and it’s not her fault that she’s attacking them now. He could think first of trying to attack her, but it would be much safer for her if Mikan simply nullified her instead.

He’s come such a long way, from attacking Hotaru and Iinchou so Mikan would spill her alice to now choosing a less violent approach to tackling a person who should be an ally. Now, he won’t be nonviolent in every regard, and there’s little reason he should be, but moments like this are noteworthy. Even more, he’s the one to suggest to Mikan that they work together. They could be a team, like she’d wanted in the Z Arc. They could work together to beat Nobara, and Natsume is willing to admit he won’t be able to do it alone. Ultimately, he’s asking for help, and Natsume never does that.

"Let's do it together," because he can finally ask for help.

But really, for Mikan, it doesn’t take much effort at all. In fact, Mikan uses her nullification to get Nobara entirely out of the trance in no time at all. Nobara runs away, ashamed, and Persona emerges from the woodwork, irritated that he has to do all the work himself.

Mikan breaks Nobara out of it without any help, all on her own. It's foreshadowing for all Mikan will do by herself in the rest of this fight. Natsume wants to work together, but he would never want her to take on everything by herself.

Chapter Sixty-Seven

Persona’s presence has only inspired anger. Natsume attempts to attack him, but he’s no match against Persona when he’s carrying Nobara’s alice stone as protection. Persona then informs Natsume that he’s lost the deal. After all, Rui and Hayate weren’t defeated by him, rather by the people who followed after him. Therefore, Natsume won’t be allowed to leave the dungeon or ever see his sister again.

Despite all his best efforts, he's failed. All these risks he's taken in the past two days have been for nothing, have even caused more of a mess. And if he's stuck in a dungeon, not only will he truly never be able to save Aoi, but he won't be able to see Mikan or Ruka either. It's not like Persona doesn't have the power to do this, either. This is a genuine threat, and if he and his friends lose here, then Natsume will be screwed for good.

Mikan stands up for Natsume, but Persona attacks her, only stopped by one of Ruka’s mice, who quickly demonstrates what happens when someone is caught by Persona’s alice, the touch of death or corrosion alice. Only Natsume (and we, the readers) knew what his alice was prior to this, and it creates a new atmosphere of danger. Getting hit could get you killed. Any misstep could be deadly.

Something interrupts the fight, though. Aoi is shuffling down the hall, gripping the walls since she is blind.

She calls out to Persona, to Mikan, to the very few people she’s had in her life for the past two and a half years.

This is the first time Natsume has seen her in just as long, and he calls out to her. He wasn't supposed to see her. This was a trap, after all, and he'd been told he'd never see her again. To be able to see her despite that is excellent luck (and because of Mikan's help). He nearly can't believe that it's really happening. What follows should be a dramatic and emotional reunion. Sadly, that's not the way it goes.

Natsume failed Aoi so much. Look what he's done. She's blind and has amnesia all because of him.

He approaches, but before he can reach her, she asks nervously who he is. She's blind, so there's no way she'd recognize his face, but she can't place his voice either. It's like a sucker-punch, not being remembered at all by one of the most important people in his life. It's not just that she's blind--that's shocking news too--or that she's been held captive in a dungeon for years. She also can't remember him at all. To make matters even worse, Aoi asks instead for Persona. Natsume is immediately shocked. He’s been putting himself on the line tirelessly for years, and she has forgotten him. It’s just another way in which he’s failed to protect her, since she doesn’t even remember her life anymore. And for his role in her life to be filled instead by Persona is even more cruel.

Persona has been abusing Natsume for years while manipulating Aoi into feeling pity for him. One moment, he seems to treat Aoi with kindness, and the next he goes to Natsume and threatens her safety if he doesn’t obey. It’s enough to make anyone’s blood boil, and Natsume is understandably hurt.

Mikan, who has met Aoi already, tries to remind her that Natsume is her real brother, but Persona is eager to get back to business, so he dispatches Yakumo to immobilize Ruka, Hotaru, and Mikan.

Persona goes right back to manipulating Aoi, lying to her and telling her that Natsume is responsible for her loss of sight and memories. But Natsume doesn’t care about being hated or loved, he only cares about protecting. He stands in front of Aoi and tells her to run. This time, no matter what, he will protect her. He won’t ever let her be hurt again.

Natsume has been blaming himself for what happened to Aoi for years. The job of protecting her was put on his shoulders since he was little. It’s always been his duty to keep her safe, so if she is unsafe, it means he failed. He’s just a little kid. He may have a powerful alice, but he is ultimately powerless. He’s up against government controlled entities and adults with influence. He couldn’t do any more to protect Aoi than he already did, but he’s been living with the guilt of not doing the impossible, because he was told that was his duty. Natsume feels like a failure whenever he can’t properly protect someone because he thinks that’s all he’s good for. He will take the hits for everyone else, will take responsibility for everyone, put himself in the face of danger and death to keep everyone but himself safe.

To be hated or loved or entirely forgotten has nothing to do with his life's mission anyway. Natsume gives unconditionally. He doesn't want anything in return, because it's not an exchange to begin with. The people around him are precious, and their happiness and safety is important. They should have long, pleasant lives. He's just a soldier in comparison. His life was always going to be short anyway, so why shouldn't be dedicate himself entirely to preserving the happiness of others? Protect, protect, protect. Sacrifice, sacrifice, sacrifice. It's all he knows. How other people feel about him doesn't change his purpose at all. Whether he does it openly or in secret, he exists only to protect.

Aoi was his biggest failure, in his mind. He won’t allow anything to stop him from protecting her this time, to make up for the time he failed. His determination and promise of protection triggers memories in Aoi. She knew her brother very well, knew all his nuances and quirks. She's the one who first explained to Ruka that he's endlessly selfless, always protecting. If Natsume is anything, he's a martyr. He will make a bold proclamation of protection, or stand in front of somebody to guard them, or take a hit in somebody's stead. She can't help but recognize it, his most outstanding character trait. Nobody in the world is quite like Natsume in this way. She says his name, shocking and distracting him. He hadn’t meant to have her recall him. He was just doing his job as her older brother to protect her. Again, Natsume is resigned to being hated, disliked, and even forgotten, so long as he can do his job of protecting people. Of course it surprises him when it’s exactly that loyalty and protection that reminds Aoi who her most important person is.

Natsume just needed to be as much himself as he could and it triggered Aoi remembering him. If only this sort of thing could work every time.

But Persona isn’t as touched as the rest of them are. Aoi has lost her utility. She remembered Natsume and can no longer be effectively manipulated. Before he can turn his alice on her, though, Mikan saves the Hyuuga siblings. It's Natsume who initially told her in the Z Arc that she has to be vigilant, always watchful, when you're in a dangerous situation after all. If Natsume is distracted, and can't be vigilant, then Mikan will be in his stead. The danger persists, and despite Natsume's readiness to protect his sister, it's Mikan once again who tackles him, nullifying him, but also knocking his alice restraining mask off his face.

Now that Mikan has touched Persona directly without his mask on, she’s certain to die.

Chapter Sixty-Eight

Even Yakumo is put off by Persona’s actions. He obviously never expected to actually be involved in the murder of a little girl. Persona shrugs it off, calling it nothing more than an accident, but that sets Natsume off.

Mikan got in the way to protect him and his sister, and now she will die.

He was willing to work as a team, but he is not willing to watch her completely take on his duty as the resident martyr.

Natsume doesn't like being protected. It's his job, after all. His life is meaningless in comparison to everyone else's. Not only is it destined to be short anyway (so who cares if it ends earlier than later?) but being protected by somebody else means he failed. Somebody is hurt because of him. Natsume is angry at Persona more than anything, but he's also disappointed in himself. Mikan should never have to take an attack for him. She got hit because he was distracted and because he didn't stay vigilant. She's hurt because he didn't do his job correctly.

He goes berserk, his fire alice raging on, despite the barrier. He screams at Persona, but it’s not enough. He hunches over in pain and gasps. Keeping up his alice like this with the barrier is difficult, and even in his anger he can’t keep it up for long.

When Hotaru tries to attack Persona, he moves to get her instead, and Mikan, already struck by his alice, decides to hit him again. Natsume is horrified. He can yell at Persona all he wants, and could even kill him, and it wouldn’t undo the damage Mikan has just now taken for her friends. She’s done for already, but each hit of Persona’s alice has her that much closer to death.

This must feel awful, Natsume. Watching somebody hurt themselves ceaselessly to protect others and not being able to do anything to help. It's a good thing you'd never put anybody in that position, especially after experiencing it for yourself, right? RIGHT?

Mikan bravely declares that she will take all of his hits, to do anything to protect her friends. She tells them to run for it and leave her to face Persona, but Aoi rushes to confront Persona. She still mistakenly thinks there’s a bond between them, that maybe she can get through to him, but he quickly proves her wrong, telling her that he won’t hesitate to use his alice on her as well if she doesn’t move aside.

He’s about to attack her, but Mikan gets in the way, not keen on her sacrifice being for nothing. She protects Aoi, perhaps in Natsume’s stead. In her final sacrifice, she is able to crack his earring, which protects him from “looking like a monster”, and now he looks on the outside the way he does on the inside, entirely corrupted by his own alice.

Now Persona is no longer a threat, as he has run away, but there remains the problem of Mikan, who has been directly hit by his alice and doesn’t stand a chance of surviving.

This whole thing is quite interesting. Natsume is practically useless here. He doesn't protect anybody: not Mikan, not Aoi, not anybody. In fact, he's the one who has to be protected. Mikan did in one day what Natsume has been doing his whole life, and she's paying for it with her life, which is what happens when somebody always chooses the happiness of others over their own.

He's so physically unwell that even his anger and rage can't assist the situation. He can't do anything. Mikan gets hit over and over and over again and all he can do is watch helplessly. You'd think an experience like this would perhaps inspire some understanding in him. Watching somebody die for you is horrible, especially when you feel so powerless as it happens. You cannot stop it from happening. You just watch as they die. But Natsume does not come away from this, thinking about the potential consequences for his martyr complex. Instead, he will do everything he can to make sure nobody ever hurts themselves to protect him again. He will protect everyone even more, to save them from the death that awaits them if they have to protect him.

If they protect him, after all, it's his fault for not being as observant, for not doing a better job. He's the soldier, the martyr. He's the one who should die for others.

Chapter Sixty-Nine

Natsume went into the dungeon, willing to give up his life, fully aware that he might never see his friends again, because it was worthwhile to him as long as he could save his sister. Despite his determination, Natsume couldn’t protect anybody. Mikan protected him, protected Hotaru, protected Aoi. The girl he loves is going to die now, and it’s his fault, because he couldn’t actually protect anybody and in turn had to be protected.

Mikan was also saying very Natsume-esque things, like “it doesn’t matter what happens to me, as long as the people I care about are safe”, and willing to give up her future for the sake of Natsume and Aoi’s futures together. He’d never wanted to be on the receiving end of selflessness. That’s his job. He’s supposed to be the one sacrificing and dying for everyone else.

In this moment, he’s powerless, because for all his talk, Aoi is free because of Mikan, and now Mikan will die, and he can’t do anything about it.

Because of this, when they all rush to Subaru and Sakurano to get Mikan immediate medical help, Natsume speaks up and takes responsibility. He promises to take Aoi and leave the academy so nobody else will suffer because of him anymore. Besides, he won’t be allowed to live normally at the school anymore anyway (he'd be in a dungeon), and it’s best for everyone, in his mind, to have him out of their hair.

His determination crumbles when Mikan wakes up just enough to sadly ask him if he’s really leaving. She looks upset at the thought of him gone, and all his resolve falls apart.

He was supposed to be protecting her and he failed. She had to take it all on because he messed up, and now she's dying. And on top of that, he's hurting her, telling her he's going to leave her. He put her in this situation and now he's just gonna leave? What kind of monster is he?

Well, he was going to but how is he supposed to do it now when you look so sad?

He can't ever leave her.

But the upperclassmen rebuke his plan anyway as unrealistic and unsound. Natsume is physically distressed and Aoi is blind, so escape will not be so easy. Besides, there’s no guarantee that Natsume taking all the blame will mean anything to the ESP, who will simply punish everyone else involved in his stead. His plan was idealistic.

But Ruka brings up a good point: why should Aoi be forced to stay in the academy when she isn’t even an alice anymore? This leads to a better plan: cause a much bigger scandal around the academy than what happened in the Hana Hime den dungeon. They’d force the school’s hand and possibly be able to get out of the situation largely unscathed.

He stands by Aoi's side. He's going to protect her and save her, because he couldn't do it before. More than that, he knows he can't leave. He'll do what he can to prove to Aoi how much she matters because he won't be coming with her and she might not see him for quite some time, if ever again. If Aoi is safe, he can focus more energy on protecting others, especially Mikan, who will need all the protecting she can get now that she's upset the academy higher ups.

For now, what matters is that they start a scandal around Aoi being held captive and abused by the academy for years.

As a result, a riot breaks out, with people either outraged that a non-alice was allowed in their midst for long or because the Hyuuga siblings suffered so much so that Natsume could become a child soldier. Thus the ESP is distracted with trying to suppress that, though he does still blame Mikan for the whole thing.

Chapter Seventy

While Mikan recuperates, strangely saved by her mysterious stealing alice, Natsume has been causing mayhem with his sister. The school is unhappy and there will be serious consequences to come, but at least he won’t be trapped in a dungeon, and Mikan won’t die.

In fact, because this scandal has exposed the truth about Natsume's situation, on the surface, the school will have to put an end to the abuse they put him through. No more beatings. No more missions. It's all about PR, and apparently people don't like seeing that kids are abused by their school. For a moment, it might really seem like things will be looking up for him. Unfortunately, nothing is quite so simple.

It is time to say good-bye to Aoi, because she cannot be forced to stay with all the scandal surrounding her. Many kids are there, which Natsume points out since it was supposed to be a secret send-off.

So many people came because they wanted to meet Aoi and because they have come to the conclusion that because Aoi is leaving, Natsume has no reason to stay either. After all, he only came to the school to keep his sister safe. Now that she won’t be held over his head anymore, why would he stick around?

Yes, he stayed for Mikan and all that, but Natsume is somehow still somewhat surprised that so many other kids in Class B care about him and don't want to see him go.

And then we see a flashback, where Aoi begs Natsume to leave the school with her, even pleading that he doesn’t leave her on her own anymore. But Natsume doesn’t have a choice. Like Sakurano and Subaru said, even if it was feasible for him to leave the school, leaving would only put the rest of them in danger. They would be held responsible for what happened in his stead and they’d be punished for his sake. And Aoi was not the only person being held over his head to begin with. Ruka and Mikan and even Yo-chan are incredibly important to him, and they have also been used as blackmail for Natsume to perform on missions.

And more than anything, Mikan almost died to protect him. He failed and she got hurt, and he can't ever allow something like that to happen again. He will do anything he can to keep her safe going forward, and that will involve a great deal of sacrifice in the future. But he's always been the protector, so he is willing to throw himself into the role of being Mikan's guardian angel. From now on, it's all about her. He simply won't allow himself to fail her again.

He tells Aoi that he can’t leave. His friends are here. But he promises to see her again, when he leaves the academy. Aoi understands, and she’s happy for her brother that he has so many people he cares about who care about him too. She used to be the only one who really understood him, how selfless he was and how many burdens he was carrying. But now he’s properly understood by so many people. She can count on them to look after him.

Natsume grew up with the idea that he has to look after other people. Aoi tells his friends to look after him, letting it be known that Natsume needs to be protected sometimes too, and that he can’t be allowed to sacrifice himself forever.

Then, Natsume is able to see his father again, for the first time since he told the driver to speed up. His dad hugs Aoi, and the gate is closed, but Natsume still goes to hug them both through the gate. The moment is touching, as it’s the first time Natsume has been able to contact his family at all in more than two years, but it’s cut short. He can’t stand by the gate forever, after all.

Listen I tried my best but this picture got me bursting into tears.

This whole moment in time is just like the family visit: too short. It should be enough that we can see Natsume happy, right? He will get everything he wants for one split second, and then he will go right back to suffering, because that's how he was always meant to be. Eternally suffering for the sake of everybody else.

Mikan is then reminded that they all have to be on their best behavior going forward or they’ll risk losing stars, but losing any stars for Mikan would send her right back to being a no-star again. In response to her panic, Ruka tosses his stars. It’s only symbolic. He’s still a triple, of course. But tossing them is supposed to represent solidarity with Mikan, and understanding from Natsume. Those stars symbolized Natsume’s suffering and endless trauma. By throwing them, Ruka is telling him that he understands what Natsume went through for them, and that he’s okay with a no-star status if Natsume is less burdened. After all, Natsume shouldn't be going on missions anymore. If Ruka's star rank is lowered, it's worth it, because Natsume will be safe and happy in exchange.

Ruka is now intent on helping to protect Mikan’s smile, no matter the cost. He then thinks, “You’ve been ready to do that for a long time, haven’t you, Natsume?”

Natsume is very smiley for a kid whose gonna go "volunteer" to suffer endlessly for his friends and the love of his life.

After all, Natsume is staying, more or less, to protect his friends, namely Mikan, who almost died to protect him. He won’t let her give any more up for his sake. That’s his job, and he’ll go back to serving it with no hesitation. His missions are supposed to stop. Coercing him will no longer be about holding Aoi over his head. The school instead will shape it like it's his idea, his choice. He can stop, if he wants, but if he chooses to continue, very good things will happen for his friends.

His suffering in the DA class is about to get a lot worse.

Conclusion

Natsume put his life on the line, risking everything to save Aoi, but in the end Mikan is the one who paid the price. Instead of viewing Mikan's sacrifice as affectionate or touching, he's angry with himself for having put her in the situation to begin with. He will never allow her to be in danger again. No matter what happens, he will be there to protect her. It has just become his life's mission. Though Aoi is safe and his missions and abuse under the school should end, they have really only just begun.

Like I was saying, Natsume doesn't do very much at the end of this arc, which is kind of the point, but it also leaves some chapters' analysis somewhat threadbare. I apologize for that.

Going forward, we'll see that Natsume has a new attitude. The illusion of choice regarding the abuse he faces from the school has given him some semblance of peace, because he's content with his duty of protecting Mikan. Every smile from her means he's doing his job right.

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