#why does a random group of women get to absolve you

[boomturkey]

My head is in my hands, and all I want is for Solas Dragon Age to acknowledge the harm he has done, own his mistakes, make amends to those he has harmed, and seek atonement through restorative justice.

Stupid egg and his crimes will be the undoing of me - 15k words, jfc. THIS IS ONE CHAPTER (tis shall be broken in twain, probably)

[devastatinglygreen]

Brosephine back to say “Did you ever know that your my heroooo”

When I tell you *that storyline* still makes me irrationally angry bc not only is it SO far removed from the book and the relationship between those characters (HIS COUSIN????) It changes the Polin dynamic so much. We knew as Polin shippers we’d have to deal with the “I’ll never marry/court Penelope” but to watch him do all of that right in front of Pen while book!Colin specifically says he never proposed to anyone else???? And Colin already has enough doubt and second guessing about his place in the world as the third son. VERY UNNECESSARY to add in some more insecurity and question of whether or not his real fiancé is lying to him! Nah for these reasons alone S3 will be superior bc at least it made fucking sense.

Also as a Plant Daddy and Eloise fan I’d love for their story to be next, and think it’d make the most sense given where the story left off (My conspiracy is given that Ben was often with Hy and Greg this season when he wasn’t being the story bicycle means he’s not mature enough/ready for his love story yet) BUT is that just going to be used as more angst for Pen given what *that storyline* meant for her? This is why I have CVDPTSD.

"you're everything i wish i could beeeeeeee"

it's so random, really. and to make her a featherington cousin when her being a bridgerton cousin is literally the crux of why eloise writes to phillip is wild but whatever.

we get it, the show likes love triangles but she wasn't even interested past her own interests and you know how shows often write women with an ulterior motive that either condemns or absolves them? it was like that but make her inherently unlikable on top of it.

also i feel like the triangle needs to know it's a triangle to work and also love triangles are awful and we need to stop relying on them because the show doesn't really put any effort into them. debling? colin never even speaks to him (10/10 no notes on that, that's hilarious actually) but stares hatefully. that man wasn't even aware there was one, he was like i need a wife and i want to see some penguins.

(tho pour one out to knowing, with your whole heart, had there been another female for colin that pen had to suffer through, she'd have been called petty and immature if she'd acted at all the way colin did)

i do think s3 tried to fix some of his insecurity, pls no one throw tomatoes at me, by having him search for the physical connection with randoms that left him wanting. it was a very clear way to have him understand the difference in how he felt after being with penelope. and how clear they made it that he was in love, he was telling everyone about it, he wasn't using it as a defense to get people to take him seriously, he was like, i don't think you understand, i am losing my shit about being in love, this has never happened before i am stupid in love and also possibly the most motivated man on the planet i cannot pick a struggle. i need to see my wife immediately.

they were also not subtle about anthony being like at least you're getting married for all the RIGHT reasons this time. LIKE LOVE. because that wasn't it the first time, bro.

either way. still. they had to do way too much work to bring him back around to book colin's revelation of how nothing like penelope had ever happened to him before.

i would loooove eloise next but idk. i'm down for a conspiracy theory. and yesssss, you know they'd love to have shoved all the angst down penelope's throat about it. cvdptsd fr fr.

support group is tuesdays at 7pm. bring cookies. or cake (don't worry, we looked into it and it does not get you pregnant).

[mithliya]

My point is that if thea-nymo was this big bad meanie y'all are trying to say she is then why is she still posting? If she had done wrong and her blog had been found out, why is she still posting on it? That's proof she didn't do anything wrong or she would have switched blogs, right? Her blog is still up, not termed at all. If you search for her username or satoryuga's username literally the only people talking about either of them in this context are TERF blogs, which is pretty damning and makes it look like y'all picked a random woman in the fandom to choose as your scapegoat for your own actions. You say others were harassed, can you prove trans people were involved in that either or is it just wishful thinking on your part? Satoryuga in their own post does not mention trans people even once. And yes I highly doubt MRA groups in Korea exist and if they do, they exist the same way they do in the rest of the world which is a bunch of fringe men on the internet who aren't actually taking action in real life or have the power to attack some random person. Love bombing is exactly what it is because y'all are doing it to absolve yourselves of guilt when you probably were involved in some way and then blame it on trans people which is exactly what y'all are known for doing so congrats on getting a random Korean person doxxed and assaulted I guess? Big win for "feminism"!

Also I found this post from someone in that fandom that literally SAYS y'all did! https://www.tumblr.com/tsunflowers/702085867986157568 "I’ve heard from another person that when someone who received similar harassment said they would abandon their blog they were suddenly swarmed by terfs trying to comfort them and saying look at what those awful trans women did to this innocent cis woman. obviously my suspicion is that those terfs are the same people making the accounts to spew hate speech and they just switched to a different set of accounts once the violence had its intended effect"

wow lots of bullshit here and you obviously are trying to ensure your side is justified no matter what despite several openly anti-terf pro-trans individuals speaking openly in support of the doxxing and harassment.

1. why would this person stop posting? idiots like you all justified it and turned a blind eye, some even praising it, this person even being called out was reduced to some terf thing and was dismissed by other TRAs. same way outed rapists and pedos on here managed to get away with it by saying it’s all terf lies and are still posting on tumblr to this day.

2. “that’s proof she didn’t do anything wrong” no it isn’t, it is proof of how devoid of morals all of you are because none of you cared enough to hold the person behind it accountable, instead you justified this person and allowed them to get away with vile racist & misogynistic harassment. not shocking because you lot have allowed all sorts of racists and predators and misogynists to get away with the same as long as they were on your side.

3. “only person talking about it are TERF blogs” almost like only people who actually cared and took issue with what happened were terf blogs while you lot turned a blind eye and even praised the doxxing and harassment bc satoryuga deserved it for merely being labelled a terf.

4. “i highly doubt korean MRAs exist” so now you’re also accusing the victim herself of lying and inventing something. one second of googling showed me you’re wrong

5. claiming “terfs” are behind it baselessly. very typical tactic of yours. anything we do thats bad is actually terfs’ fault!!! oh proof?? uhmmmm well they were supporting the woman getting harassed which actually is a manipulation tactic :// oh the person who took responsibility for it is a trans women? oh well a terf must’ve made that up. oh you found a blog of a trans woman who coincidentally used the exact same wording in regards to satoryuga, supported the doxxing and harassment, and even liked posts that praised the person that doxxed her and spearheaded her harassment? well uhhh that doesn’t count bc if it were this person they’d totally not be on tumblr anymore!!

you’re stupid and an apologist. don’t msg me again.

[stickykeys633]

Changing thing up a bit @capricornsicle, that other post was becoming unwieldy.

You think you’re on a crusade to expose fandom racism and bias in Teen Wolf, but in doing so, because TW is such a specific beast, you make assumptions and add unnecessary hyperbole to your arguments. 

You’ve assumed and ran with the idea that I’m white (many do, which is strange since my icon is a black woman) and you’ve treated me a certain way because of it. But then in the same breath you’ll say there’s inherent bias against Scott McCall, a character that many people saw as white played by an actor who is white passing. 

There’s also this underlying statement that any majority of people see Scott as Latinx and automatically make it a negative thing which again, isn’t true, specifically not in Teen Wolf. 

I’ve found the antis like to take black racism experiences and try to fit Scott into that category, but even a small thing like colorism makes it so it’s not equitable. 

that’s a general statement about fans and critics alike holding characters of color up to a higher standard than white characters. It’s not everyone, it’s certainly not an attack on anyone, but it happens a lot, across various fandoms. White characters are much more often forgiven for the things they do than characters of color who do the same things.

This doesn’t happen with the frequency you think and in the Teen Wolf fandom when it does happen it is rarely if ever in regards to Scott. Other, more evident characters of color yes.. And the wild examples that the antis present are never equitable. Even when presented with context, they often have to padd it and stretch it to make it seem like some infraction has been done. What it does is seek to absolve Scott of ANY wrong doing, when really there is fault laid at both parties. 

I’ll provide a couple of examples in the moment, but the bottom like is that Stiles/Derek/Peter stans acknowledge their faults and many times love them because of it. On the show Scott was never given the chance to acknowledge his faults, the show refused to admit that he needed to grow and be redeemed of anything. This was a misstep because he became unpalatable, not as a perfect icon, but as someone whose actions didn’t hold relevant consequences. 

The Donovan Incident

Now, I disagree with some key points, but overall I think this is the most important part:

They fought, like teenagers do, especially teenagers who have gone through that kind of trauma, and then, in 5x13, they’re talking outside a gas station, and they talk and get over it,

If everyone could agree that this happened, this would be a much better place. But antis will not chalk up the experience for the contrived nonsense it was and become so enraged when people blame Scott that they can’t let it be and suddenly we’re all racists. 

Which, using racism as a tool to sooth butthurt is not okay and we see it time and time again. They take every seedling and think, “how can I add racism to this so I get my way?” which is pathetic, but also sullies the impact of real racism on the show. 

During this time Tracey was murdered, Mason was non-existent, they killed Noah and Lucas sent Kira to the desert and left her there. But being mad at Scott for intentionally misunderstanding Stiles is what’s racist? This is why antis and SDP Stans constantly bump heads. Everyone has been in a friend group where some new interloper comes in and riles things up. Usually trying to steal someone’s man, but you know there are certain things you do when that happens and Scott made ALL the wrong moves. He knew Stiles didn’t trust Theo and openly disliked him, it should have been an immediate red flag when Theo started in with Stiles violently killing someone in cold blood. Additionally, I would have LOVED if the show made the connection to Scott still being traumatized by Nogi, but again, the show made it seem like Scott was JUST FINE! and again, a disservice was made to his character. 

The point is that a not insignificant number of fans label Scott as a constant bad friend, as someone who’s always a bad influence on Stiles, and that’s really not the case.

People who label him as a constant bad friend use this as ONE example of it. I actually questioned their friendship after Motel California. I remember there were a couple of beats that made it clear they weren’t sandbox buddies, and probably met in the community little league (was it little league or soccer that they met Theo? I forget?). There have been several instances of them not being as close as they claimed. 

If Stiles can be forgiven for throwing lacrosse balls at Scott (which really fucking hurt, speaking from experience) and keying some random loner kids’ car to get him beat up because Lydia kissed him

Just a side note, Stiles was havign his fun, yes, but Scott was completely complicit in these scenes and knew 100% what was going on. Stiles was helping Scott by testing his tolerance and helping him control his heartbeat and yes they did it in bonehead teenage boy ways, but there was nothing malicious or racially motivated about it. Talk about holding characters to different levels. You’ve all made the white characters irredeemable supremacists when nothing in the canon alludes to this. 

a few antis forgive Stiles but condemn Scott. And that’s because of racial bias that makes those particular antis hold Scott to much higher standards than his white friends, which is a nice way of saying it’s racism.

Which again, is wrong in that you have absolutely no way of quantifying this for every viewer. There’s no such thing as special Scott centric racism. If someone is racist, they’re going to show it against anyone not white on the show, and that’s simply a) not the case and b) impossible to determine from the asks of one anon and some misinterpreted fic. 

Liking Scott isn’t pro-POC, no, but it is tied to racial issues in Hollywood, popular media, and fandom. Scott being Latinx (despite the fact it never comes up, he’s played by a Latinx actor and is undoubtedly TV’s favorite “ambiguously brown”) makes him connected to racial issues.

But it doesn’t, because Teen Wolf was specifically created as a world without color so coding Scott as race-neutral meant that audiences had the choice to view him that way and many did. I mean, look at the show, he has two white Italian actors playing his parents, his last name is McCall and his mother’s maiden name was Delgado which could mean anything. Jeff had a habit of casting white women with Latinx last names they got from a gracious step-father, it’s not a leap to say this was true of Melissa. This is why I refuse to give the show any representation points. Diversity sure, they’re there, but they’re not well represented and again, this neither starts nor ends with Scott McCall. 

Liking Scott is something that a lot of viewers of color end up doing

Again, not entirely true. Liking Boyd? Yes. Deaton, Morrell, Kira? Yes. Scott? Sure... the response to Scott from Latinx fans was varied in interesting ways. Some went up hard for him and while I don’t acknowledge the show’s version of Scott, I write him as half Mexican in every fic. There are some who, like you, were so excited to see someone like themselves and that’s beautiful and awesome. There were also some that started excited but then were like “oh, he’s playing a white boy” which people like to forget was VERY much a thing. There was no reason to think Scott was white and in fact when Jeff received the Alma award, it was for casting Posey and not necessarily having a Latinx character. In the beginning of Teen Wolf he was actually asked if Scott was white (the phrase they used was “All American” which...), And there were still others who hated Scott instantly and thought he was wack and did NOT see themselves in him.

So even within the Latinx community alone there were several opinions. Now spread that out to hundreds of thousands and then millions of viewers. So when you say “Liking Scott is something a lot of VOC end up doing” you’re creating a value based judgement on the idea of liking YOUR version of Scott McCall. 

Which isn’t fair and isn’t correct. 

YOU ended up liking Scott because YOU appreciated the interpretation. No one can take that away from you. But when you cast this net of racism, you’re gonna end up with a lot of things that don’t fit the term and a lot of people mad that they’re caught in your web of racial bias. 

if it’s the burden of POC to fight for representation tooth and nail, then that’s the fight I’ll be fighting.

Part of it is that sometimes I worry that if I don’t post about them, if I don’t post gifs of them and talk about them and make them be part of the teen wolf tag on this site, no one else is going to.

We talked about this with your first post. Generally I’m sympathetic, but I do take issue with your methods. Yes, I’ve seen those gif tax posts and I love the concept, but... tax is something you pay in the exchange for something that you want. I don’t see POC characters as tax and I get it’s just a clever way to name what you’re doing, but I think it makes it so negative when celebrating the POC characters should be an enjoyable and inclusive thing. 

If you feel alone, it’s because you haven’t reached out to anyone. I know a lot of creators who make content for characters of color, The problem is that when you accuse people of focusing on white characters in a show FULL of white characters and cover them with a blanket of systemic bias, you’re alienating a lot of people who don’t want the drama. 

Someone just released some ao3 stats of POC characters in Sterek fics verses TW fics as a whole and Kira was sadly underrepresented, showing up in just under 45% of fics. My answer to that isn’t to scream at Stereks about how racist they are against Asians. Instead, I wanna have a Kira appreciation event, but until I can, I make sure to write Kira into my fics because I love her. I repost gifsets with her in them, I comment and seek out people who create for her and support them and if you approach some creators, the’re happy to be amenable. I’ve left comments on fics asking for a certain character and sometimes they rightfully say no, but sometimes it’s not a problem and the change is awesome. 

I feel like the bulk of antis have an idea in their mind and don’t give anyone else a freaking chance. And then, when anything negative is said about Scott, they go awf like SEE!!?!> RACISM!!!!!! when it’s honestly not the case. The anon doesn’t represent even the minority of the majority of stereks. Tumblr doesn’t, ao3 doesn’t, twitter doesn’t. That’s why it’s so much less stressful to find out ways to insert diversity and representation rather than browbeating others to do it out of shame.  

There’s this perceived bias that worms it’s way in that simply doesn’t exist at the levels you think it does. Because not only are you assuming that people dislike the characters of color because of their color, but also that they harbor negative feelings.

But, as we’ve learned from K-pop fans, it seems white people are much more willing to enjoy and put out East Asian representation than representation of people darker than them

Kira was undoubtedly brought in to bring a more Asian audience, but again, racism isn’t a pick and choose kind of thing. People who hated Kira and love Scott do not see Scott as Latinx. And Kira has more posts by a small margin mostly because she was there and she had a family and large ties to the plot. Not because kids loves k-pop (which wasn’t even that big during her run). 

And THIS:

Boyd is stereotyped as the big, buff Black guy who’s aggressive and athletic (but almost never seen as the brains of the group, despite his intelligence,xxx and comes from a poor background and answers to an assertive white man without question

Boyd was specifically not stereotypes as aggressive and athletic, and in all fanfic is usually the one who reasons and is most level headed. He came from a poor background, but so did Isaac, and he questioned Derek and Scott. This is what I mean, while I agree that it’s your interpretation, you can’t say it’s a universal interpretation and then judge others because of it. 

The only time I care is when people specifically dislike Scott because of perceived affronts to Stiles and/or Derek, and I say “perceived” because I refer specifically to ones those specific anons and antis take completely out of context, blow out of proportion, or just make up.

Lol, again, your perception, because I can give you several canon based reasons to be upset with Scott, but of course you’ll find a way, no matter how tangential to twist it, because he’s your fave and canon is a mess. This is the freaking point. Let people have their stories. It’s not hurting you if you also add in yours. 

I do not believe it is possible for a 16-year-old to consent to a romantic and/or sexual relationship with a 24/25-year-old, but this post isn’t about that

Please don’t believe that you’re the first person to try this argument because you’re not and also Derek was at most 23 when Stiles was 17 (and to make it more interesting he was 19 in the original unaired pilot, but they aged him up so Kate wouldn’t be full on statutory rape, good times!)

https://stickylovessterek.tumblr.com/post/151831687742/sterek-is-not-pedophilia

Now you might not like it, and that’s totally fine and valid. But age has no basis in their relationship. I’m more interested in power dynamics, which is why I didn’t like Aria/Fitz on PLL or Marrish (which I could have been on board for, but this show is trash). 

with perhaps me as Stiles, you as Scott, and the anon playing Theo during his villain phase circa season 5, trying to turn two people against each other over a larger ethics debate

Well, no, clearly I’m the Stiles since I’m right (i kid, I kid), but honestly, you’re the one putting the anon in this. I’ve been ignoring their hyperbole and we’ve been telling the antis to pick and choose and be discerning with their posts. That has nothing to do with me. If we’re Scott and Stiles then it’s one of us talking and the other not listening and doing theings they’re own way and the fact that both of us have different ideas as to which is which is really part of the fun. 

But it’s not racism. 

[naylar-draws]

She Giggled: Meta-textual Shit About That Time Merlin Flirted With an Underage Girl

So anyways, y’all know that scene? The one people really hate where Merlin flirts with Claire? When I first saw that scene, it made me really uncomfortable, and I had a hard time pinning down why. So I was thinking about that instead of sleeping and now I’m writing this instead of sleeping.

Disclaimer: This isn’t Merlin hate discourse or some shit. I know there’s been discourse about the hate train and this whole rant/analysis has nothing to do with it. I do my best to stay out of fandom discourse and I ain’t gonna ruin my streak because of a crusty old animated dude. If you’re looking for hate, it ain’t here. If you’re looking for analysis on a particular scene in the context of Trollhunters being a fictional text created by real people, then welcome friend. I also know this is an art blog, but I have other hobbies too dammit.

Anywho here’s my humble opinion/analysis on the scene and why it failed: (roughly 1300 word rant/analysis under the cut)

Objectively, it’s gross: an old man flirting with an underaged girl, referring to her as a “lovely creature”, touching her in a non-platonic way etc. these are behaviors that, in real life, shouldn’t be acceptable. These are behaviors that I can say from personal experience are not pleasant to be on the receiving end of. These are also behaviors that women experience regularly and are often told that they have to put up with. Stay with me I’m going more in depth.

So why is the scene within the show unbearable? I’d say because of the in-text reaction to it. (Now I don’t have Netflix this month so I’m going from memory and can’t pull up screenshots bear with me) The response that draws the most attention is Claire’s giggle. She giggles in response. She appears shy at first, Merlin walks up to her and gently lifts her chin, and her response is positive.

Now, one could assume that she was laughing out of nervousness. I could relate to that. The times when I was underage and being hit on by significantly older men, my first reaction was to giggle or chuckle politely, do nothing to upset them, and then extricate myself from the situation however I could. However that’s irl and my being uncomfortable existed with or without any external observation. Trollhunters is a fictional text whose job is to communicate everything it wants to to the viewer. Anything it does not communicate does not tangentially exist. That means that if the creative team indeed intended to have Claire’s giggle be one of discomfort, it would be their job to communicate it to the viewer via cinematography, her body language, dialogue, or an extra scene where she discloses her feelings on Merlin’s actions, that she did feel uncomfortable. All it would take would be a nervous side glance and a brief close-up shot of her face or something of the like. However, the scene only displays her reaction as a surface level giggle, which portrays a positive reaction.

The other reactions in the scene are Jim, Toby, Aaarrrgghh, and Blinky’s. The issue here is that they don’t react. None of the characters bat their eyes at this. Now there’s that screenshot that I’ve seen going around where Blinky is looking at Merlin with indignation while the wizard is ugh caressing her chin. The point being made, partially in jest, is that Blinky’s angry about it just like the viewer. But that screenshot is actually slightly out of context. During that part, Blinky was reacting to something Merlin had said that was entirely unrelated to the inappropriate behavior. Someone could say that maybe the Trolls don’t know about such human customs and that’s why they didn’t bat an eye, and Toby and Jim are uncomfortable but don’t feel like they’re able to speak up or some manner of such. But, again, nothing in the text shows or says this. Again, all it would take would be a shot of a nervous glance. If you assume that one of the characters did indeed feel discomfort, then feel free to assume it, idc. But at that point it’s a headcanon. And headcanons, while they can make canon more fun, are by no means a way of dismissing canon of the roles it failed to fulfill, or absolving it of issues with its content.

Okay, but maybe someone would say that you don’t need characters to tell the viewer what’s right or wrong. Obviously, the scene was meant to show Merlin as the unsavory sort and somehow also comment on society’s intentional obliviousness to the lighter forms of sexual harassment. To which I would respond by saying that if that were the case, then the creative team would have to communicate that message if not by the characters, then by the cinematography. For instance, a change in shot composition, lighting, camera movement, or by the sound design or the background music. To which that scene has none of that. It is something that happens and then is immediately forgotten about, no significance whatsoever is added to the part where Merlin flirts with an underage girl in the context of the episode or overall show.

If the creative team intended to comment on Merlin’s specific actions of flirting with Claire, then they failed, and it did not make it into the finished product.

People might also say that it’s fine because Merlin, a fictional character created by a group of people, is from the middle ages, and during that time Claire would have been considered an adult. This is an argument I have multiple problems with that I will not get into, but first of all, the show does not communicate this. If they really wanted to address the social changes Merlin has to adapt to, the creative team would have had Toby and Jim onscreen explain to Merlin that 18 is now the age of adulthood, slavery is no longer okay, and equal rights are a thing. Also on a storytelling level, they would need a way to juxtapose Merlin’s way of thinking with another character’s or by cinematography to show that the characters who grew up in modern times don’t think underage flirting is okay like he does. Which I’ve already established did not happen.

So at the end of the day, what does Trollhunters have to say about Merlin, an old man, flirting with an underage girl and, urk, gently lifting her chin like a goddamned creep if in its text all it has is non-reactions, no commentary, and a single positive reaction? Well, perhaps not an endorsement of, but most certainly an unintentional normalization of such an action.

And you know what, who cares? Right? Its just a random kids show. Why did I write all this down? Well, partially because I’m a film buff who over-analyzes fictional texts on my free time. But also because this is just a minor example of how fiction reflects even the less than savory aspects of our society. The creative team of Trollhunters probably didn’t see an issue with Merlin flirting with an underage girl, or if they did, it wasn’t a large enough one that is was removed from the finished product. And also, because this is a very good example of the greater issues of the show. Specifically why Merlin breeds so much hate: because the text of the show does not do enough to comment on his moral ambiguity (he is framed as a morally gray good guy who “looks at the bigger picture”, but not all of his eh, less than savory actions are addressed and it leaves viewer feeling as though some of those behaviors are then seen as normal which can leave a really icky feeling [see the Philadelphia Story to get more of those nasty feelings]). Also the fact that while the show is not overtly sexist, it is most definitely filtered through a, eh hum, slightly uninformed male gaze. Only uninformed males (and maybe some females with internalized sexism) would assume that an underage girl would have a positive reaction to an old man calling her a “lovely creature” and gently lifting her chin and leaning over her so the old man is effectively looming over her and ugh why did it have to be like that. (If people are interested I’ll do an analysis on Trollhunters and gender ‘cause boy do I have things to say about gender and sexual dimorphism in this show)

PS to anyone who says that the creators are just waiting to address these issues in Wizards, no film maker worth their salt would intentionally do that, what the heck? who wants to deliberately make a children’s show and add an underage flirting scene and then just leave it unaddressed for years like jesus mcfeezus I would worry about more than their capabilities as a showrunner

[thommydarguin]

SB The Chocolate Drop

I will never pretend to know or act like I fully understand anxiety/depression however, running from your problems and absolving yourself of any real blame solves nothing Considering all the little beefs we have had, I look back at all of your failed relationships that you’ve told me about and I see them differently. Not to say they didn’t do anything wrong, probably majorly wrong.. but I’ve spent over a year watching you misread situations and coming to completely irrational conclusions, and feeling content that the world is against you. I feel as though you’re looking for so many things to fill in for the various holes in your life. I believe finding peace within yourself and learning to accept, change for the better and grow are essential I find it hard to just expect some person to swing in and cure you of it all. You’re riddled with insecurities and bottled feelings, neither which is inherently bad, but at certain levels, can be poisonous to you and others I recall the first time you really opened up about your D/A(depression and anxiety) and I felt so happy that you felt so comfortable enough to speak on it and I just wanted to be there for and whatever capacity I could handle. I wanted to be your calming Your peace Your happy place Trust Love Zen Your inhale Your exhale But I couldn’t At a time of sickness, you prioritized all but my general heath and saw no wrong in that and couldn’t even apologize or rather didn’t deem it worthy of an apology because to you, I did you wrong by being sick and missing a date. A date you were attending with other people and through it all, I deserved to be cut off. You blamed your D/A... You claimed to have cut everyone off 5 months..... 5 months for you to finally speak to me, and within that attempt I was asleep and upon responding, I was met with hostility and had to play nice and apologetic to get you to a decent demeanor. Which is a typical SB tactic of always bending situations to cater to you... and there are more to come, #staytuned So with communications finally open, I try several times to have a conversation with you to address what actually happened and what transgressed through these 5 months You avoid and evade with excuses rooted in your D/A Your anxiety is so suffocating that I even developed some form of it when interacting with you. Even so... I’m DYING to have you back.. You insist on getting brunch for our long waited conversation Now.... for this conversation to be all about misunderstanding and potential real beef... we shouldn’t be trying to have a fun date surrounded by white people drinking mimosas and bloody Mary’s ... At best, coffee or tea(not for me cuz I’ll throw up, remember this for later) Moving forward, we meet at the restaurant outside waiting to be seated... and you proceed to jump right in to coy small talk and catch up like besties who’ve been away for a bit with NO BEEF.... I’m not here to rock the boat and be unfriendly however I do believe it is imperative to get right to it being firm, direct and truthful. I fucked up and let her get us right back into the swing of things.. We order and get our food by that time I got fed up with her clearly avoiding the elephant in the room so with no Segway... I bring it up... But I’m already happy I get to see her beautiful smile that brightens my day Her piercing eyes that are so intense it damn near forces you into submission of shyness Cheekbones strong as Janet Jackson at her prime Skin just simply radiant (though she doesn’t agree) And of course a body hot enough to grill 4 grilled cheese sandwiches So ultimately... I fold And I don’t bring up my many grievances that I’ve been thinking about for 5 long months... Imma summarize the rest of the day but ugh .... We finished eating and went back to the house. Roommate knew she was coming so he locked his door in advance since she’s a habitual space invader. It’s been sometime since she’s last seen all of us so we’re in a new house so I begin to give her the tour. First floor Basement Back patio At this point I didn’t know if in fact roommate was home so we knock and he says he’s showering, he’ll be out in a little. She then try’s the door knob... It’s locked Then she tries to convince roommate to let her in which he ignores cuz duh... she continues .... I ask her clear and direct.. “please do NOT go in my room, just give me 10 minutes to take care of some things and then I’ll show you” I walk downstairs leaving her at roommates door and before I reach the kitchen, she’s telling me about my en suite.... I’m beyond pissed at how casually she dismissed and disrespected me. But I try to address it without blowing up... she dismisses it again I go downstairs and start playing music She shows up and as soon as I’m playing a song she doesn’t know or like... I hear “I don’t like this song” or “I don’t know this song” Aka turn off what you intentionally played that you clearly like and play what I wanna hear because it’s all about me. She does this very often but never in big groups It’s ALWAYS deplorable I also always let her dj so she can feel comfortable and know that I care that she is at ease. She has NEVER done that for me NEVER AND SHE USUALLY SKIPS MY SONGS MIDSONG... SHES THAT DISRESPECTFUL anyway.. I end up giving her my phone to play music because I’ve learned through her brainwashing, it’s best for all to give her what she wants than face her complaining. I had to teach her song sharing etiquette which she was extremely resistant to learning but after a slew of “pleases and thanks yous” she kinda learned but later still disregarded so roommate eventually took over with his phone cuz she’s inconsiderate. We then picked up an old friend mainly to annoy her but he really helped balance the group because that’s one more person to help her realize how she feels rarely takes into consideration anyone but herself. We then listened to music and drank till it was time to go to a bday celebration. When we got to the house party.. she laid eyes on the most handsome ginger in the city and instantly fell for him. By the time we got to the bars... she was all over him.... and EVERY single guy that made a pass at her... which is not a problem or issue but ginger liked her up until he realized she was giving everybody attention so he lost interest and moved on. Meanwhile I was being attacked by 5 random housewives... We finally leave that bar and see ginger hopping in an uber with 4 women happily. SB... not so happy and somehow confused at why ginger went and found other people who actually showed him interest. We hop to 2 more bars and by then, I’m spent and it stinks at the bar we’re at so I tell the crew individually that I’m out and catching an Uber The moment I smell fresh air I’m like... you know what? It’s a beautiful night tonight.. imma walk. 6 blocks later SB is tracking me down ready to go to We meet and she claims she’s pretty drunk and needs to pee.. I dunno why anyone would leave the establishment with a latrine without using it first then have the audacity to complain about it but whatever... She then flops on some stairs dragging on about her intoxication.... but never pulls out her phone to order her blood clot uber so now I gotta Buy it after already making peace with walking home and being happy I was saving money I didn’t need to spend Side note: I paid for brunch and said she could get me drinks tonight but didn’t end up drinking because niggas like her need to be babysat and it was a whack night and I don’t force fun with drinking...it’s a bad move.. So I order the uber.. we get home and she gets out stumbling.... I start leading her to the house and she starts repeating “I’m gonna throw up” over and over ... I ask her, do u need to go now or can you make it to the bathroom?? “I’m gonna throw up... I’m gonna throw up... I gonna throw up”... I said..” I get that so if u need to puke now... cool.. we outside.. I’ll hose it down later.. otherwise if u can make it to the bathroom.. let’s go in” “I’m gonna throw up... I’m gonna throw up... I gonna throw up”... That’s when flames came out my ears.... I said f it... and took her in and led her to my bathroom.. and closed the door to give her privacy.. she was in there for a bit so I changed and needed to go make pee so I went to roommates room and when I returned... she’s in my bed My bed rules have changed since she last saw me but because of me being a bitch... I was too scared to bring up my new rules... which is... NO ONE sleeps in my bed unless family or fuckin With the exception of L’s I’m willing to take which this constitutes...kinda... I’ll explain that in a sec So she’s in my bed... cool... then starts up her mantra again “I’m gonna throw up... I’m gonna throw up... I gonna throw up, I need a bucket”... I said “ no, you need to go to the bathroom.. “ but in classic SB fashion.. she dismisses me and keeps on with the bucket talk so like a bitch.. I get it and a bottle of water.. THEN finally relieved of duty I start to leave and she freaks out!! “Thommay.... Thommaaaaay... where are you?” “I’m right here” I said Thommay.... Thommaaaaay... where are you?” “YOU CAN HEAR ME, AND IF YOU OPENED YOUR EYES YOU’D SEE ME, IM RIGHT HERE!!!”I replied “I’m panicking ..... I’m panicking... where are you???” I had to walk my candy ass over to her and hold her hand while standing until she fell asleep.. and EVERYTIME I let go... I’m panicking ..... I’m panicking... where are you???” SO I, A GROWN ASS MAN... had to sleep on the rass clot bumma clot floor in my own home... in my own room.... Now you may be thinking to yourself... are you that obsessed with your rule that you won’t sleep next to her in your own bed? NO... but I ain’t dumb enough to willingly dive into the splash-zone next to ol pukey over here.... So a nigga slept on the floor... Hours later I did get on the bed in a corner but even that was whack so I said f it and went downstairs... Later on in the day I’m still unhappy with her performance from last night, so wherever she went.. I left... so now I’m in my room watching Planet Earth 2(super dope if u ain’t seent it) And she shows up while kickin it with my homie and just hops in bed with me interrupting our conversation.. Then proceeds to invite me to VIRGINIA to go get tea Now I simply didn’t wanna go anywhere that day, but I damn sure didn’t wanna go to another state and even more so wouldn’t wanna go for the one thing that makes me throw up... a known fact by all who consider themselves close to ya boy... So I sassily call her out on not really caring and being inconsiderate and she throws a fit, calls me an asshole and turns away.. Now at this juncture.. anyone being upset at my approach... that is warranted.. but☝️ when I asked if it is true she evades the question like a hotboxed fart in a car that smells like Chinese food. Then leaves to roommates room looking for validation... in which she got NONE!!! Now he told her ass he didn’t want no women in his bed at the start of the day and she tried to get nestled in real quick but roommate peeped game but since he knows how bad she is at not getting what she wants.. he just got up and started doing shit until she was too uncomfortable to stay and came back to my room... Meanwhile... I’m MAAAAAAAAADDDdddd comfortable now watching these goats doing parkour on the side of a mountain and she comes right back in and jumps in bed.... Then starts making whack commentary... to which receives one word(shut the hell up) responses.... Eventually she says too much and I go downstairs... Once I hear it’s over.. I come back to my room and praise Moses!!!! She’s getting herself together... I hop in bed and start the next episode of Planet earth... “I’m gonna go home now” “Okay” I replied Mind you.. that probably the first or one of the first times I didn’t walk her to her car and hug her goodbye Now she’s done other things worthy of being cut the F off But all I did was get sick.... So when I start texting her to actually bring up all the stuff I bitched out of from brunch and the weekend, I’m just tryna schedule a phone call or ft( that’s FaceTime for you poor android users) she once again bullies me into having this conversation through text even though I prepared it to work through speech by bringing up her D/A.... so against my better judgment.. I text her the whole thing and long story short(for this part at least)... She said I demonized her character... She’s literally saying SHE did messed up things to me... which hurt me... and in my attempt to explain to her what she did, what it felt like and how it made me feel... she’s the victim to me slandering her name and no friend would ever do that... Forget everything that she did to me... the problem lies within how I described how she made me feel to her.... I tell you people I can’t make this up She told me to F-off and all... But didn’t delete me from and any social media... wouldn’t even block me on her phone... I’m starting to believe she KNOWS she’s wrong but the breakthrough to follow is too much because she’ll prolly have to face how she’s likely done this to so many other people... ones she has actually demonized and pushed away while claiming they did yadada yadada yadada.... What I hate about this is that i still wanna be there for her If the day comes when she decides to recognize what she did and what she’s doing, I don’t want her to have to face that alone unless that’s what she wants. I love this woman And I wanna see her do great things but she has some walls up that are really hurting herself and others Anyway Rant over

[losdesnudoscas-blog]

Woman Inequality

As I stood there waiting for the disc to be handed to me in the second floor of the Oviatt Library, I was anxious to get this film done and over with. It was a class assignment, to watch this film that the professor said cannot be seen anywhere else. He had personally acquired these discs from Nicaragua on one of his visits there. This film was called La Pantalla Desnuda. None of my peers were stoked to have to go to the library and watch this film in the library; but it was an assignment that we had to do. So once I was handed the disc, I went to one of the monitors provided: sat down, set my back pack down, turned on the computer, opened the DVD player, waited for it to load, popped the headphones on and finally pressed play. AS the opening scenes occurred, it looked like the movie was going to be boring, but also different, sort of like a documentary. But as the movie went on, it kept me on the edge of my seat, and I was intrigued ball of the drama and tragedy that was going on. This film is relatable because we live in the digital era and I will argue how, in the film, there could be downsides to owning technology, such as a cellular device, and how it affects women. And also how they tackle the unequal gender relations, society’s treatment of young women’s sexuality, and women’s empowerment.

           La Pantalla Desnuda demonstrates that there is a double standard for men and women, of course -vast differences in the way each is perceived and expected to behave. Where the movie takes place, there is machismo; this is the belief that men are superior to women, both intellectually and physically. It can be the belief that women are the property of men and should be treated accordingly. There is also

marianismo, which is the veneration for feminine virtues like purity and "moral" strength. These two enforce a strict code of conduct on the sexes, generally demanding that men be aggressive and women be submissive. Esperanza dealt a hard reminder of just how unfair society can be toward its women     ―especially ­­its young women ― when a video of her having sex with her boyfriend, Alex, is posted to a site for everyone in her town to see. The recording wasn’t her idea, it was his. That didn’t absolve her in the eyes of the locals who were quick to label her as a slut and use her as such. The film raises the phenomenon of slut shaming. There is a scene where Alex’s dad says to Alex, “Why do you care about that whore”. Only two characters clearly came to Esperanza’s defense: Alex and, surprisingly, her mother. When Alex’s dad berates him for fretting over the hurt feelings of a whorish girl such as Esperanza, Alex wonders what year his dad is living in. Just because Esperanza is a young woman that does not mean she could be used only for sex. Women also have feelings just as equal to men. So when his dad was calling her a whore, it showed how he sees gender roles and how women should just stick to one thing and one thing only, and that is to please men. Then, local seamstress suggests Esperanza may not be as pure as her mother believes her to be, to which her mom replies back with, “No, she’s still pure!”. Sadly, everyone around her does no think the same way as her mother.

           There is this other scene that shows how unfair people treat Esperanza. She is in the bathroom and is trying to wash her hands. There is this group of girls who start mocking her by saying “Yaaa, yaaa, yaaa”. Esperanza runs out of the bathroom in tears, trying to get out of there. Alex gets to her and tries to calm her down but couldn’t. It wasn’t really the embarrassment that was getting to her, it was more that why did these girls have to be so immature about the situation. They acted as if they were five year olds mocking someone on what they said. That is one example on how girls abused Esperanza, which was verbally. Men on the other hand, try to abuse her physically. While Esperanza was waiting

for Alex at the gas station, there is a man who recognizes her and says “So la chavala del video verdad?” and he starts talking about how good she looks in bed. She starts walking away from the situation, but the man hops into a car and tells the driver that that is the girl from the video everyone knows about. He starts driving towards her and eventually gets out of the car and throws her in the backseat. He then tries to essentially rape her. But she was fighting back and the guy had enough and threw her out of the car. This scene shows how some people in society think. Only because it is a girl, does not mean that she will easily say yes to sexual activity when brought upon from some random, at least not one with morals. This grown man thought that only because it was a girl who he was trying to take advantage of was going to be easy to get with, but luckily Esperanza is a fighter and didn’t allow such thing to happen. Women should not be seen Justas objects and be used for pleasure.

           One final scene that stood out to me was one that was one of that lasts ones of the movie. Esperanza was able to show the real power she had as an independent. Alex came over her house and at the door was greeted by her mother who said, “Ella no te quiere ver”. Alex then walked to his motorcycle, where Esperanza was looking at him through the window. She had the power to decide whether she wanted to keep the relationship going or have it come to an end. Here is one of the only times you could really see women empowerment. He does she not speak up and tell him to come in? Alex had done enough damage to Esperanza, and her being a strong individual thought that enough is enough, so that is why she didn’t have him turn around. Even the mom had some empowerment when she greeted Alex. In the movie we don’t know if Esperanza actually said that she doesn’t want to see him, but Esperanza’s mother had to cross the line somewhere.

           We read a part of a text called Women Street Artists of Latin America, written by Rachel Cassadra and Lauren Gucik. These women talked about how they think it is important to be able to

express yourself as a street artist and not be afraid of what others think about it. I really enjoyed reading a certain phrase that they wrote that goes as follows. “Often artists urged women to move forwards sin miedo, ‘without fear.’ One artist had these words tattooed as a permanent reminder. This indelible phrase succinctly sums up a way for creative women to be existence for all”. This relates to the movie La Pantalla Desnuda to some extend on how women are something in this world and shouldn’t just be taken for granted. All women have feelings and also want to express themselves in one way or another, whether it is through art, or through words. Esperanza was emotionally shut down because of what others started to think about her. But like in the women from Women Street Artists of Latin America, she should not care about what others think about her and her feelings towards someone. I know it is hard because of a situation like hers, trying to avoid society, but she should’ve embraced it in a way that wouldn’t bring her down.

                        Technology can be used for many good and useful things on an everyday basis, but the way technology was used against Esperanza was the worst thing that could’ve happened to her. Even though everything didn’t go the way she wanted it to go, she was a very strong individual overall. Yes she cried, yes she was embarrassed, and yes she was annoyed. But at the end, she eventually stood up for herself and essentially said “no” to Alex, which was something she could had said to prevent all of these events from happening.

         Cassandra, Rachel, and Lauren Gucik. Women Street Artists of Latin America: Art without Fear = Grafiteras y Muralistsas En América Latina: Arte Sin Mideo. Manic D Press, 2015

 “La Pantalla Desnuda”, Florence Jaugey, 2014, Film