#why does Pokemon make me cry

[xyztrio721]

I made a Sandwich in Pokemon Violet that I lovingly call “The Abomination”.

Why? It’s made with Strawberries, Apples, Bananas, Hamburger, Smoked Fillet, Prosciutto, Mustard, Peanut Butter, Chili Sauce, and Whipped Cream.

It looks like this.

Don’t let me near your picnic tables.

[shiocreator]

woag... love when the heros are fighting some high villain creature thats trying to destroy the entirety of the world and suddenly they are losing there is no way they will win

Then the people theyve helped along the way and befriended help empower them with their voices yelling their positivity that they can do it and it works

its so cheesy its SO cheesey but i cry every time i dont KNOW WHY-

[paradoxlemonade]

goddammit. I am just. SO fucking terrible at pokemon

I’m playing pokemon unbound atm and I had to lower the difficulty for the elite four fight. I’m now playing on casual and STILL getting my ass kicked by the champion match despite being slightly overleveled

so now my options are either overlevel to hell (makes me feel bad because I’m “cheating” and will take a long time) or get an entirely new team and EV train them to take down the champion fight (will be boring as fuck and will take even longer) [please no one come tell me that it’s not cheating because it’s a singleplayer game and an expected mechanic. I know this. I do not care.]

[cecilioque]

The Submas Designs are a lot more clever than you thought.

First lets look at the Submas overall design.  We know that the original design was intended to make the Subway Bosses look like clowns and kind of creepy (that backfired); hence the comically large shoes and exaggerated expressions. Let’s start to break down each part of the design. 

To begin, The Submas extreme expressions are a possible reference to the symbol of theatre; the mask of Tragedy and the Mask of Comedy.  The mask of tragedy is commonly portrayed frowning ( not necessarily cry) on a black base mask while the mask of Comedy is portrayed smiling on a white base masks. Sometimes these masks are gold or split black and white color.  The masks together represent the two extremes of the human psyche. Definitely the contrast we see between Emmet's smile and Ingo’s frown.

Next up, the coats.  These are obviously designed to look like train tracks.  The vertical grey lines representing the rails, the red brown the tie (the wood connecting the rails), and the buttons are the spikes that secure the track.  You can see the pattern best on the back of the Submas coat.  Looking at it you could laugh and say “I guess that makes the Subway boss themselves the train”, and you know what? You’re right.

This brings us to the most interesting part of their design, the color and pose.  Yes, there is an explanation to the silly pose too.  It’s so silly that we can just brush this whole design off as being another funny Pokemon character design; but unfortunately it’s actually thought out.  

The Submas themselves are the New York Subway. Or at least they are the personified version of it.  Let’s look at the colors again.  Black and White.  Very fitting for a game literally called Pokemon Black and White.  That alone brings us to some interesting comparisons with the game themes and pokemon.

Kudari or (Emmet in the English version) wears all white. He values routine and rules and is ultimately pretty point blank.  We can easily make that conclusion that  Emmet represents Reshiram and truth. If we break down his name we see that in Japanese it means something along the lines of “down train” or moving away/going down hill.  The different translations usually mean the same, except the name “Emmet” is a bit out of place.  A lot of people say the Submas names in English are most likely to be puns of “Ingoing and Emitting”.  But my crazy self did more digging and found that Emmet means “truth” specifically universal truth.  This name goes back to old German, Irish, and even Hebrew. All looping back to Reshiram and themes of the game. (On a funny side note, Emmet is also the Cornish word for ant; so Emmet having a Durant is really funny. ) 

Next up is Nobori or Ingo who wears a black coat and appears frowning. Despite that , his is very encouraging and excited about moving forward. This makes sense since the name Nobori in Japanese more or less means to move up/forward ( specifically up a mountain).  That’s why a lot of people believe that the poor man was eebie deebied for the pun because Warden Ingo works on Mt. Coronet. In English, Ingo is thought to be a shortened version of “Ingoing” which also aligns with not only the Japanese name but the character’s reoccurring theme of progress, moving forward, and ideals. In this sense Ingo very much represents Zekrom and ideals. 

Truth and ideals, Reshiram and Zekrom, Tragedy and comedy, white and Black.  All very good interpretations and symbolism for two funny train men. I would be satisfied with just knowing that, but no; the Submas are also a funny gijinka of the New York Subway.  This is the part the has me laughing at how simple it is and yet we just easily accepted that they were just a bit strange.

Take a look at this. This is a Zebra Board.  

Yep, it’s black and white. And do you know what? This MTA sign only appears in the New York subway.  What does it do?  These are used by conductors to indicate safety and that the train has lined up in the station. Every time the subway comes into the station, the conductor has to physically point at this board/bar to indicate that it is safe for the doors to open. The action is called "point and call" or "point and acknowledge".  This practice is used in a few other train/subway stations (such as Japan), but the black and white board is New York specific. The pose of the submas suddenly makes a lot of sense.

Other Important notes observations.

The Submas face represents the front of the train.  So their eyes are the lights (hence Ingos glowing eyes in PLA), their side burns are cow catchers ( see graphic), and the Medalion on the hat is round like a train number plate.  Another interesting thing is that the Submas use airline Captain Pilot hats like Japanese train conductors use.  The only part of their outfit that confuses me is the arm bands.  This is more of a police uniform element and not a train conductor thing.

so to conclude, the Submas are basically a reference to in game themes, Reshiram/Zekrom, Trains, and literally the New York subway

I am not an expert. These are just my observations. I could be completely wrong.  Take and add what you would like to.  If you have more to add about the design, feel free to reblog that info. I would also like to see your interpretation.

[mr-jack-letterman]

HELLO HI

God I love the Submas fandom, all of you are so nice <3

In any case, I have a silly Au for y'all to munch on.

Allow me to introduce you all to Covalent Twins :]

Covalent

Adjective

- Relating to or denoting chemical bonds formed by the sharing of electrons between atoms.

Or in this case, the sharing of Emmet between 2 Ingos from different timelines NSNDNNDDD.

This Au is essentially the answer to the question: "doesn't being sent to the distant past inherently mean you are also now long dead in the future you just left?"

The answer is yes and no btw

The explanation for this involves a lot of time nonsense that I'm very bad at explaining but the Tldr is basically this:

When Ingo gets sent to the past, this creates a connection between the past and the future. This makes time get all fucky and split into two separate timelines (Timeline A and Timeline B)

Timeline A:

Time in this timeline runs parallel to the future as long as Ingo stays within it (essentially, if Ingo stays in the past for 2 years, then 2 years pass in the present).

Due to this connection, Akari (aka Dawn) gets sent to this timeline (But not Timeline B) and the game events of PLA play out (+ a lot more Ingo bonding because uncle Ingo supremacy)

Akari manages to get her and Ingo sent back home with the power of Arceus, causing both timelines to merge back together again into one cohesive line with only the events of Timeline B being remembered by history.

Ingo and Emmet get their happy ending.

This Ingo got sent to Hisui when he was 29, stayed there for 2 years, and went home when he was 31.

And Timeline B:

This timeline was created as a cannon fodder timeline so Akari and Ingo can keep doing time shenanigans in Timeline A without disturbing the space time continuum even more.

This timeline is therefore not connected to the future the same way Timeline A is.

The Ingo of this timeline (Nicknamed "War" or "Warden" for simplicity.) lives through the PLA game events but with Rei taking the place of Akari.

War doesn't bond with him the same way Ingo does with Akari because Rei isn't a faller.

The events of the game are the exact same (minus the Arc phone, Rei taking the place of Akari, and catching Arceus).

Despite Rei calming the nobles and catching Palkia and Dialga, he is still not the chosen hero. Warden is unable to go home or regain his memories.

Warden lives in Hisui and serves as a warden for the Pearl Clan for a total of 7 years before dying alongside his partner pokemon, Gliscor (nicknamed Nimbasa), while protecting Lady Sneasler from a Zoroark attack at the age of 36.

Warden drifts as a ghost for many years, with only Nimbasa the Gliscor as company. He watches his friends grow old, and eventually die. They pass on to the afterlife, but Warden stays on earth, wandering the Alabaster Icelands and Mount Coronet, searching for people from a life he can't remember even in death.

Warden watches as Hisui changes into Sinnoh. Jubilife Village becomes Jubilife City. Pokemon species die out and new ones are born.

As the world slowly becomes more and more familiar, the great Sinnohs, Palkia and Dialga, take pity on the lost warden, and decide together to lead him home.

It may take 150 years, and many miles of travel, but Warden is pulled by an unknown force towards the Unova region. Though he is unable to touch anything or speak to anyone, it's all so painfully familiar.

He is pulled towards Nimbasa city, (ah! That's where he got the name from!) and eventually to an apartment.

There, he is greeted by a young girl, barely 17. A man in black, who looks exactly like him, give or take a few years and a few scars.

And a smiling man in white. The man he has been searching for for over 150 years...

And they're staring at him, truly staring at him, not through him.

Why is the man in white crying?

*evil laughter.mp3*

So yeah! The twins have an older brother now :D

I mean he's dead and also Ingo just 5 years older and from a different timeline but still!!!

If you've made it this far I believe you deserve a gold star ⭐ and also some art for your troubles.

So here's War and Nimbasa ↓

And some fluffy interaction between War and Emmet as a bandaid.

If you guys have any questions regarding how this Au works, or are interested in seeing more of it, don't hesitate to shoot me an ask :D

I hope I enjoyed reading about my silly Au, even if it was a bit long lol.

*fades back into the void of Submas fics.*

[cyberdragoninfinity]

I would love to hear your thoughts about the fucked-up turtle (Terapagos)

"Now let's talk about the turtle. Can we talk about the turtle please, Mac? I've been dying to talk about the turtle with you all day."

Ok so. Short Answer Re: Thoughts About Terapagos:

WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT THE FUCK. WHY DID IT DO THAT. WHY DID THEY [GAMEFREAK] DO THAT.

Long Answer Re: Thoughts About Terapagos [SPOILERS FOR THE SCARVIO DLC naturally. i havent seen Horizons so i dont rly know whats goin on with this little guy in the anime, just what we've got in the games]:

When the last little batch of new Pokemon in Indigo Disk leaked, about 12 hours or so-ish before the DLC dropped, I was at dinner with my bestie and we were looking at our phones like we were reading breaking world news. And I was looking at this tiny ass png of Terapagos's full Tera (Stellar) form.

And I immediately blurted out "holy SHIT it's turtles all the way down."

If you're not familiar with the phrase, check out its wikipedia page; here it's most relevant as a saying thrown around with regards to the philosophical concept of infinite regress, i.e. a series of elements (or questions begging an explanation) that that goes on infinitely with each member producing the next. So let's say the world rests on the back of a giant turtle--well, then, what does that turtle stand on to keep it from falling into the void? Why, another, bigger turtle, of course! But what about that turtle? Well, you're not gonna believe this, but it's turtles all the way down.

And here's the other thing about infinite regress: it's a logical fallacy, it's circular reasoning--honestly it's a little bit of a cousin to the "which came first?" chicken and egg argument. The question in these cases never truly gets answered, it just goes on and on forever. Bigger turtles on top of even bigger turtles.

It's a paradox. :)

So Stellar Terapagos, just look at that thing. Even its dex entries talk about how it looks like a planet, how it resembles "the world as the ancients saw it"--it's very much not only trying to evoke the World Turtle concept, but the symbolism of a classic paradoxical saying. So we've already got that going on with it, that already makes me bonkers. AND THAT'S JUST THE SURFACE LEVEL.

Cuz when we look at how Terapagos behaves, things start to go from "well isnt this guy a little weird" to "oh. oh this thing is kind of fucked up and terrifying, hello, what the hell is wrong with it" REAL FAST. Its two most stressed features we see in Indigo Disk are A.) its crystalline nature and how its the progenitor of Terastalization, but also B.) it is ferociously powerful and borderline uncontrollable. It's violent. It bursts out of a Master Ball and almost kills Kieran for daring to try and control it. Heath's illustration of its Stellar form in the Scarlet/Violet Book looks so otherworldly and almost cosmically horrifying. It has Weird Fucking Powers the game does NOT elaborate on (but I will; see more below.)

And also, hey, yeah, its Stellar Form looks like a stack of world turtles, but why the FUCK does its Terastal form also look like a goddamn dream catcher.

Personally I've been a big fan of the 'imagination theory' re: the Professors and the Paradox Pokemon and Area Zero, and folks have been arguing that Indigo Disk debunks that, but honestly I feel like we're loitering around some untold explanation that's even more bizarre. Terapagos is at least on some level tied to dreams and existentialism, and I really feel like there's more to Tera Crystals and Terapagos's relationship with them than what we've been told. Hell, its cry is even the noise we hear all game when we Terastalize our Pokemon, which produces its own myriad of questions (Are the Crystals some degree of alive? The Tera Crowns all do have Terapago's little turtle head at their base, too--does Terapagos physically or spiritually connect with a Terastalizing Pokemon? And what about that weird crystalizing the AI Professor does during its big boss fight? MUCH TO THINK ABOUT.)

Oh, speaking of Crystals--yeah. I can't NOT talk about the Indigo Disk Crystal Pool Postgame Secret when talking about Terapagos. ONE MORE SPOILER WARNING FOR THAT--SERIOUSLY GO TO THE CRYSTAL POOL AFTER GETTING THE DLC CREDITS. IT WILL BLAST YOU TO BITS. anyway.

Yeah so that's what I mean with Why Did It [Terapagos] Do That. The fact that you dont even need to have it in your party for the postgame Crystal Pool cutscene to trigger and for Terapagos to just pop out of the PC boxes on its own accord and warp space and time (and maybe even reality itself) to irreversible consequence, implying once again some great and uncontrollable power within this beast. Crazy Ass Moments in Pokemon History for CERTAIN.

And the thing that makes me most insane, thinking about Terapagos twisting time to allow you to meet the Professor, the Real Live Professor, to swap notes with them so to speak, the way it facilitates all of that, is the position it now puts the player and Scarvio itself in. If the Professor's research rests on the back of a white book given to them by a child, then what does the research of that white book rest upon? Ah, well, the expedition of Area Zero spurred forth by the fallout of the Professor's research. And what did THAT research rest upon, again...?

Turtles. The whole way down. Chickens and eggs and a paradox you're now responsible for. At the hands of a Normal Type Pokemon that tried to kill a 14 year old.

Terapagos scares the shit out of me. I love it so much. Why Did They Make It Like That <3

[kurooo-is-here]

Can I request Kieran comforting the player/reader after they have a nightmare? (INDIGO DISK SPOILERS***: Specifically about what went down in Area Zero, maybe about how the blast almost hit Kieran and reader feeling like it would have been their fault if something happened to him bc they drove him to seek out Terapagos in the first place?)

Heheh, I love writing comfort stuff :)

I think Kieran would be super good at comforting you since he's dealt with such intense negative emotions himself. He empathizes a lot with your panic attack and does his best to make you feel safe... because he never had anyone comfort him through his panic attacks.

Warnings: Reader has a small panic attack.

Notes: I hope someone gets the reference I put at the end :D

Mild Spoilers for the Indigo Disk DLC ahead!

Kieran woke up to find you sobbing into their blankets. He's immediately alert- what happened? Did someone hurt you? Why were you crying?

You let out a whimper when you realize he's awake. "S-Sorry, Kieran... I-I had a n-nightmare." You said through shaky breaths. You were barely able to breathe, your hands and body shaking, you were gasping for air- you were a mess.

Kieran's eyes softened. He sat up and embraced you, letting his hand trail to your back. "I'm here, Y/N." He said softly. "You're okay, I promise."

You sobbed into his shoulder, letting out tears you had been trying to hold back before. Kieran was patient with you. He encouraged you to breathe steadily, and kissed your cheek to comfort you. It was like... he'd done this before himself.

As you slowly calmed down, he kept his arms around you, giving you a sense of safety and relief. He gently held your hand in his, and kissed your cheek once more.

There was a brief silence before you spoke. "...I had a nightmare that you died. When Terapagos blasted that attack at you... in my dream, I couldn't save you." You said quietly. "I... I watched you die."

Kieran frowned. "But you saved me, didn't you? You were incredible back there."

"B-but..." You trailed off, hiccuping as the tears came back. "It's my fault that you even pushed yourself so far. You wanted to defeat me, so you put yourself in danger to catch Terapagos-"

"It's not your fault, Y/N." His voice was gentle, but firm. "None of that was your fault."

"But-"

"Y/N, you're the light of my life." Kieran said. "You are not responsible for what I did."

He leaned in and kissed your lips, as if he wanted to prove what he said. "And that dream wasn't what really happened. You saved me, and I'm alive and I'm still here."

You nodded, leaning into his embrace. "You're... you're right. I'm sorry. I just.. I panicked. It was so scary seeing you.. dead."

You held onto him tightly. "I don't wanna lose you. Not after everything we've been through."

Kieran smiled. "I don't wanna lose you either, Y/N."

As you laid down and drifted off to sleep, Kieran hummed a melody that felt oddly familiar. It was oddly sad, yet comforting. It reminded you of a Pokemon you saw in one of your dreams, where the world was sepia-toned and you could hear the Pokemon singing in the forest as leaves fluttered by.

His gentle hums and warm touch let you have a peaceful sleep that night.

[magicalrocketships]

Hello! I hope you are most well. I just got to share your baby Daniel in the going -Small verse with a friend, special place in my heart for him. Then I thought about it for two long and my thoughts wandered off rabbit-hole style. Do you have any thoughts on how adult Max might react if he'd met baby Daniel after his embarassment about going small and living with Daniel for three months? Baby Daniel doesn't know that! He just wants to love on Max.

Sending love, hugs, and cheesy garlic bread <3

Oh I HAVE thought about this a lot. Unfortunately my eyes are pretty blurry today (love you chronic illness, kiss kiss) so let's have some brief thoughts at 175% zoom and I'll come back to it another time

Max IS going to meet baby Daniel again. He's also going to meet baby Daniel when he's baby Max as well (and Daniel's mum and dad look after them). 

Max when he Goes Small doesn't have his competitiveness; he doesn't want to fight, he doesn't want to race, he doesn't want to come first. And a Max who isn't competitive and therefore also doesn't have to push through fear and never show it gets to… explore things differently this time around. And it's not just Max that learns that, it's Daniel too, looking after him. But it's Max who's ashamed of this little baby Max and doesn't want to be connected to him, wants to run away from him when he's big again. 

When Daniel Goes Small he doesn't feel fear, really (except if there's a dog, and he hides behind Max) - or rather; he does feel fear but he often doesn't know he should be scared. He wants to climb on the balcony wall to look over the side and see how far down it is (he's not huge on heights when he sees). He wants to ride his bike really fast and jump in the pool and make a big splash and he's not cold (he's really cold) and go in the fast car and can Max go faster please (holds on very tight to the seat but says wow extremely reverentially afterwards). He'll climb on things he shouldn't climb on, and open things he shouldn't open, and trusts everybody, and hates bedtime so Max has to carry a passed out Daniel to bed every night because he does not know how to get him to go to bed, and Max spends three days looking after him and at the end of it he's exhausted. 

But Max doesn't once think that Daniel should be embarrassed about baby Daniel when he Goes Big again. Not even when Daniel skids off his bike on the second day and takes all the skin off his knees and his elbow, and he cries loud and hard because there's blood and it's run down his knee and hit his sock, and Max ends up using half of some other mum's first aid kit to wipe the dirt out of Daniel's grazes and get antiseptic on them and plasters. Daniel gets to have chicken nuggets afterwards as a treat, and there's a little bit of Max that knows, when he was a kid, crying wasn't something he could do to get a hug and some chicken nuggets. And Daniel had instinctively cried out Max's name, but Max had already been running across the bike track to make sure he was okay. 

When Daniel Goes Big, he says thanks for looking after me, like he and little Daniel are the same person, like he's okay being a curly haired kid with poor judgment. Max says, "You will have to keep looking after your knees, the grazes are quite bad." Daniel looks down at the Pokemon plasters peeking out from underneath his shorts and shrugs. When I was a kid I was always doing shit like that. Thanks, Max. 

Afterwards, Max misses the noise. He misses the constant questions, the what's in there, how fast do lions go, why can't I, and the way he'd fall asleep passed out in Max's lap, still protesting he wasn't tired, protesting he can eat what he wants, asking how fast he was when he ran around Max's flat twelve times to get rid of some energy. 

Max doesn't think: you should be ashamed. 

He thinks: I wish I wasn't. 

(All actual parts can be found either in this masterpost or on AO3 here.)

[ghostbite0]

i got a ton of asks in my inbox so im just going to put all of them here so i don't spam u guys with it haha

this is really the only guy i use. felt pen on clip studio is excellent for the sketchier style i like! when it comes to coloring i just use a basic solid brush !

i imagine they do, and they each get assigned a baby (tanjiro with giyuu, inosuke with sanemi, and zenitsu with obanai) but it lasts for barely a day. inosuke has no idea what hes doing and obanai cant stand zenitsu

tengens wives find the situation hysterical but they help out however they can. ofc they all fight over tengen. they love helping out with the kiddies but they especially enjoy taking care of the younger ones-- they think mui, mitsuri, and shinobu are adorable! tengen definitely tries to flirt with them but hes a cringe fail ten year old

kanao, aoi, and the butterfly girls all help out as well. kanao and shinobu are typically glued together

shinjuro and senjuro are shocked to see rengoku (and obanai) and while shinjuro is pissed off at first, he can't Not take in his boys. senjuro and little obanai are super similar in nature so

urokodaki, tengen, and nezuko are worried but excited about giyuu's transformation. they're like lets freaking go. good childhood moment

and of course genya thinks the situation is hilarious and hes happy to get to spend time with his brother, although he's VERRRRY awkward. he's a bit avoidant at times but usually gyomei and tanjiro can talk him

aw thank you! to answer your question;; shinobu and gyomei basically spend time with him and are attentive to his wants/needs to help him recognize he does matter. rengoku and the others help with this! essentially love language stuff and affirmations and what not

ill be honest i totally forgot about this. yea! i would say the babies are only put in a very specific area of the manor and they deep clean it constantly. if they have a good amount of sick/wounded i imagine they have gyomei or etc take them in. im not sure! in my mind the hashira all rotate and babysit and etc

this 100% happens. urokodaki learned the news and had never traveled to the headquarters so fast

ohh this is a fun question! truthfully im not sure what the answer to this would be... i appreciate all the questions/ideas/etc!! if anything id love to have more questions about general characterization stuff, since thats my favorite favorite favorite to talk about!!! maybe more questions about like... what their relationships are like, do they have nicknames for each other, that sort of thing... idk! either way im glad people are interested :D

sanemi tries to make them laugh. he remembers his little siblings always cheering up when he would make silly faces and sounds, so he does that here

giyuu awkwardly pats the other baby's back/head and is like "there there" ... he remembers how sabito's hugs would make him feel better so he awkwardly hugs the other. most of the time obanai/sanemi stop crying purely bc they're confused as to why giyuu is hugging them

obanai would usually talk them out of it, but he can't do too much since he's restricted to baby babble. so instead, he will try to find one of their toys and "gift" it to them. ex giyuu was sobbing hysterically until obanai found his fox plushie and gave it to him

awww shucks... stop it u guys.....!

im doing ok!!! hanging in! got 3/13 commissions done so busy busy!

also, for future ref, i prefer being called "bite" !!! i know a lot of people call me ghost, so i just wanted to take a moment to correct that :D

awwwwww this is so sweet!! thank you so much!!!!!!

defintely one of the rodent pokemon. my favorite pokemon changes constantly but im told i have mimikyu / teddiursa / bunneary vibes. i also like espurr. i have no idea UWEIHRWE

i think he would be a little awkward at first but he would get the hang of it. most of what he does is just keep them entertained and make sure they arent sick or hurt. though he eventually builds up the courage to ask if he can feed obanai. from that point on whenever muichiro is babysitting he's the one offering to feed him, though someone else has to make the bottle-- he doesn't know how to do that

this is canon

Hands down, Obanai. Though I also feel really sad for Gyomei and Muichiro, and I think Tengen's story (what we know of it) is pretty sad. I don't like comparing traumas, though! but yeah. obanai is. wow. poor guy

and to those of you sending art requests; i see them, i promise! commissions come first, so they may take time for me to get done!

thank you guys for all the questions! i always love checking my inbox and getting an excuse to talk about things...

[harlowtales]

Big fight between Reader x Jack on his birthday releases tension in their relationship.

⚠️ toxic dynamics 18+ only ‼️

Jack and Urban blew out the candles together on their Pokemon cake. As the candles fizzled out and left trails of smoke Jack realized you were gone. “Where is she?” He wondered concerned “Babe?” Jack called out in the hallway of the bar where the women’s washroom was trying to find you. Rumbling beats filled the dark hallway. He didn’t hear you crying until he got closer.

He knocked and pounded “Baby? You ok?” He said not 100% sure it was you in there sobbing or some other drunk girl. He pressed a diamond studded ear to the door that was reverberating from all the bass to distinguish your voice and confirm it was you. Unfortunately he was familiar with that cry.

“Y…yeah???” You said shakily through your tears

“Baby what’s wrong. You disappeared. We sang happy birthday. Urb’s worried too.” Jack said through the door

You didn’t answer. You just couldn’t deal with it anymore. With HER….with THEM. Why did they always have to be at everything Jack did. Not one time could he just not invite his exes. Always shaking their asses right in front of him. It was too much. They knew it bothered you and Jack never said anything. Just said his “friends” were playing around.

“Jack go away.” You said finally and seething with anger. “Just… leave me alone, that’s all I want now.”

“What the fuck does that mean?” Jack said banging on the door. “Is it the girls?”

“Gee how did you guess?” You said sarcastically

Jack sank down to the floor in front of the door. You were right and he knew it. He was torn between old friends and you knowing he had been with them in the past. He regretted telling you, but this was one thing he didn’t want to mess up. No lies, just straight up honesty. He knew you were the one. That being said if it was him in your shoes around guys you had been with that you kept inviting to everything, he’d lose it. “Babe I’ve told you they’re just like that.” He reasoned. He didn’t think he had to explain much as he showed you every day how he felt with hours on the phone when he didn’t really have time, gifts showing up at your door when he was gone, FaceTime no matter what time zone he was in, the wining and dining, making you the face of Phocus to bring you into the business, and not exactly hiding you when he posted on IG lately. He told you he was almost ready to go public. You didn’t know but there was an engagement ask in the works. His team was busy planning the whole thing behind the scenes. But right now tequila had kicked in and you were in no mood.

“They’re just like that?” You said angrily “Some of them have an Only Fans for fuck sakes Jack!”

“Ok but am I on it? Babe please. I don’t want to spend my birthday on the floor in front of this door. Open the door….PLEASE” he begged

“You’re on the floor?” You asked through your tears

“Yeah. You think I’m moving from here as long as you’re in there crying?” You heard him say faintly, muffled by the door and thumping beats.

You blew your nose, wiped your tears and after a few minutes you slowly opened the door. Jack stood up and hugged you tightly. “Oh my baby girl” he said holding you close and kissing the top of your head. “Don’t fucking worry about them.”

“REALLY JACKMAN? Are you seriously looking me in my eyes and saying that?” You were a mess now. Your hair was dishevelled and your mascara was smeared. You pushed him away.

“Who am I fucking with?” He said irritated and raising his voice “Why we gotta do this every time?”

“Because your guest list needs to fucking change up that’s why, cuz you fucking playing around on me I just know it, them bitches is too bold with they booty all up in your face and what the fuck do you do? Laugh. You laugh and y’all have a great time and I see they stupid asses every fucking where, like what are you thinking? You know what? Fuck this shit I’m out. For good. You know how many guys I ignore? Nice guys too. Naw this is some bullshit Jack. I’m going to get some other business because your a fucking liar!” You pounded his chest and headed for the door but he easily blocked you and locked it. You furiously tried to get out.

“Are you done because I have something to say too.” He waited for you to finish going off but you weren’t going anywhere drunk and angry on his watch. He loved you even after all the things you just said and all that he knew he was doing to show you what his intentions were. Now in this moment he was hurt and mad. “We need to talk.” He motioned to a stall.

“Oh ok you want more smoke huh?” You challenged in full gangster mode.

He locked the stall door “Turn around” He ordered.

“Fuck you.” You shot back

“Turn.” He repeated

“I said…fuck y……” Jack put his hand over your mouth and his other hand found its way up your dress and yanked down your underwear. His eyes a wild brilliant blue piercing into yours.

“Jack!” You exclaimed breathlessly as you felt his fingers abruptly enter you.

“I’m too soft all the time so you think you can disrespect me but I am not playing. Do you understand?” He breathed heavily into your ear

“Yes. I do. I swear I do Jac…..Ugghhh” You said in delicious agony. He turned you around. His entry into you was slow and not graceful. Jack was gifted and as he opened you up your legs had to adjust and do extra duty to hold you steady. He picked up speed immediately and had you in a headlock as he proceeded to pound you so hard the whole stall was shaking and creaking. Jack was never this aggressive and you were trying to make sense of what was happening.

The sounds of loud tortured moaning and rapid slapping of your flesh collided in painful pleasure echoing throughout the bathroom. You were going to cum already. The tension mounting in your core with each thrust was like how the tension between the two of you had been building for months. He felt how wet you were getting and the tightening of your grip around him. It felt so good tears welled up in your eyes out of confusing ecstasy. “Jack…Jack please!” You pleaded hanging on to the stall door. You were pinned up against him in the tiny space as he relentlessly drove straight up into you in a rhythm that communicated how dedicated he was to his pain in this moment. Every vein was tensed. He was rock hard and void of sympathy for your screams.

He had never seen you lash out like this. You complained but never had this kind of an outburst. Sometimes he wondered if you cared as much as him but there was no doubt now. He was upset you thought all those things but was highly turned on by your display of raw emotion he had been craving at the same time. You felt his beard digging into your shoulder while he concentrated on making you feel every inch of him. Everything came rushing to the surface like all of your feelings.

He loudly called out your name “Y/N!” and shot a stream of desire into the furthest part of you. He stayed in you for a bit and held onto your ass trying to steady himself in exhausted frustration and satisfaction. He was drained. He wanted to send you a strong message that every ounce of passion he possessed was for you. He was mad at himself for making you question how much you meant to him. Knocking and pounding on the bathroom door jolted both of you out of the alternate universe you had been in for all of under 10mins.

“Hello! I need to fucking pee!” The voice said faintly through the throbbing bass in the club.

Jack pulled out gasping and you pulled up your underwear. “Babe” he said heaving “Let’s not do this ok?” You nodded trying to catch your breath not able to speak. You both walked out of the bathroom fixing your clothes and you gave the girl waiting to get in a smug smirk as you walked by. “Ooops! Sorry” you said in fake sweetness “Didn’t mean to hog the bathroom.” She glared back at you and Jack who flashed her a dimpled grin and flipped her off.

It was quite obvious what you had been up to. Your hair was still a bit of a mess and Jack was tucking his shirt back into his pants and readjusting his glasses. All the girls were looking you up and down in disgust as the girl fired off a text to them about what she had just seen. “Bruh” Urban said to Jack taking him aside “She was pissed huh?”

“Not anymore” Jack said “I let her know she’s the boss of these bitches.” He said tilting his head back and taking a long sip of well deserved water. “And I’m going to be changing up the usual VIP guest list.” He said looking around him making a mental note of who was on the chopping block. He shot you a look across the bar as you bit your lip and shot him a look back. You mingled and chatted happily with his friends and family in a totally different mood. “Happy Birthday to me.” He said to himself smiling.

***Had this sitting around since his birthday not knowing what to do with it***😈💋

Tag List: Please DM to be put on, taken off, or for me to follow you✌🏾Thanks for all follows 🙏🏾

***I write family fics, sweet, drama, smut***

@jacks-daycare @killatravtramp @jackslilsecrett @jackmans-poison @jharlowsangels @a-moment-captured @comehomeimissyou @hoodharlow @hotsforharlow @heavyhitterheaux @itsyagirljaz @iheartharlow @spicypiscesthings

[d3adbr3inc3lls]

I'm sorry if you've written something similar, but can you write an Amethio x Reader ff where his ceruledge and the mcs pokemon (gardevior if you need a specific one!) really like each other? bonus if amethio and the reader aren't fond of each other.

Amethio x Reader | Fic and Headcannons

Summary: You're part of the RVT and your Gardevior has been napping a lot more than she usually does.

You are part of the RVT, he is part of the Explorers. It was only natural that you two have a rivalry.

Everything about him annoys you, how was he so calm whilst he tries to steal something that belonged to Liko?

How and why is he so calm, it's Iike nothing bothers him, Nothing makes him tick.

How is he even this strong for a trainer who is your age? Does he even have a life outside training?

Probably not.

Either way, things could've gotten worse, and becuase the universe is against you, they did.

You never really noticed it at first, but your Gardevior, despite being feircly loyal, wasn't always at your side when you were at home -you never thought much of it, you let her roam around your home however she pleases- but then you start to notice it. Somstimes she is late for lunch, sometimes she'd take her sweet, sweet, time walking downstairs after you call her.

It never really bothered you, she could've been taking a nap, but the more it happened, the more suspicous it felt. You knew that some pokémon love to go outside and roam around, but she's too domesticated go out alone, unless she was starting her rebel phase.

It was all fun in games, you didn't mind her being a bit late, but sooner or later, you got an unpleasant awnser to her constant napping.

. . .

The sun hits your face at the perfect angle to annoy you and make sure you couldn't do anything about it. Your Gardevior is suffering the same fate, she shakes her head and lets out a soft cry before she begins to drag you to a nearby cafe.

You know that she's spoiled, but you can't bring yourself to do anything about it apart from feeding into it. Sometimes you're greatful that she's the only pokemon you have, taking care of 10 spoiled little kids would drain your money like there's no tomorrow, and it's a future you're not willing to face just yet.

You haven't even taken your eyes off of her for more than a minute as you pay for the pastries, and you find out that your Gardevoir has wandered off somewhere.

Calling out her name in confusion, you look around, knowing that she'd be nearby.

. . .

You couldn't help but groan in frustration as you saw the familiar black and pale blue/silver haired boy, walking with his Ceruledge and your Gardevoir.

You could see his eye twitch, giving way to some annoyance before being covered up by the constant neutral expresion he wears.

He says your name in his usual, formal, tone, glaring at you like you had just killed his mother infront of him.

"Amethio," You reply back, mimicking his tone as your eyes wander to your Gardevoir who looks up at you with a horrified expression before she walks over to you with her head down in shame.

You couldn't blame her for catching feelings, but it doesn't mean that you weren't allowed to dislike them.

. . . Headcannons . . .

I can imagine that the two of you would still have a rocky relationship, but you had to stop going at eachother's throats for the sake of your 'mons.

Over time, you and Amethio might have gotten closer, enough to develop a friendship, but it's fragile, and any wrong action would easily break it.

And due to you being a part of the RVT, and him being a part of the Explorers, you two are waiting for one to betray the other, giving both of you an excuse to never see eachother.

It'd be devastating for your 'mons, but it's a good excuse.

A/N: Finished this last week, I currently have exams... wish me luck chat... but I have one on Monday, and then I'm free for a while. Hopefully I'll start writing more,,,

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

That was really sad man. But it did get me wondering, what type of pokemon would Emily have? Maybe a Togekiss? (I'm loving this pokemon AU)

gods. combine "what pokemon would Emily have" with the fan idea of her eventually ending up in HELL and you can get

-> Chaggie's Absol starts being very interested in Emily during heaven / hell meetings and Emily is SO flattered and delighted she doesn't stop to think why maybe this disaster sensing pokemon is suddenly into her

Charlie does see the warning signs but she's not gonna believe in another bad thing so soon nope, she's very determinedly like "I think it's cute! It can just be a cute thing! Absol is allowed to make normal friends!!" while Vaggie goes "uh oh" and "sure sweetie" and sends the Absol up with Emily at the end of the next meeting- getting very VERY worried when the Absol actually GOES with the seraph no problem...

(plus side Pentious gets to visit and cuddle the old Absol buddy without it being an omen of his impending death yay)

-something something something Emily uses the Absol and Vaggie's observations of them showing up in Pride specifically for Extermination Day as another proof what heaven is doing is WRONG and BAD and needs to stop, something something Lute can't take a Seraphim actually "betraying" heaven by siding fully with hell like this- REALLY can't stand Vaggie being brought up and used against her again, something something the Absol warns Emily of the attack just in time to save MOST of her wings, something, Lute gets sword blocked by the Absol long enough for seraph Emily to get over her shock and one hit K.O. her out of the fight, something, a horrified Sera wants to find a way to heal Emily but also thinks she has to keep her little sister out of sight from heaven until then to not cause more harm (or Raise Questions), and Emily is like, Thanks But Fuck That And Fuck You Too

she ends up in hell (with her remaining wings) not long after Chaggie's Absol first started being friends with her and instead of casting blame she just LOVES the Absol all the more for helping make sure she got down there as safely as she did

Vaggie isn't one bit jealous when the Absol sticks with Emily instead of going back to following Vaggie around. Her own scars have healed up quite a bit- Emily's are fresh- Vaggie knows the feeling

Charlie looks on the bright side and notes that the impromptu haircut Lute gave the Absol with her sword while it was trying to keep her from Emily kinda makes the Absol LOOK like Emily now, with bangs and everything, which is ADORABLE and deserving of SO many cute pictures being taken!

(no Charlie won't be crying in her gf's shoulder about all this) (no she won't blame herself for it a little) (yes she WILL need to be physically held back next time she sees Lute- she held herself back before out of respect for Vaggie's choice to let Lute live but now Vaggie's gonna have to do that in real life bc Fuck That Bitch) (Vaggie will hold Charlie back for Charlie's sake alone bc Vaggie will be twice damned if Lute will be the reason her gf finally does a murder) (save it for Val) (she'll kill Lute herself before she let's Lute have the satisfaction of being that kind of scar on Charlie's soul)

Anyway!!!!

befriending Absol is wonderful for Emily and, almost, makes up for leaving her Togekiss behind in heaven....

...Togekiss don't like being around conflict or war, it was clearly bracing itself to go to hell with Emily but- Emily couldn't stomach doing that to her pokemon pal

She leaves it with Pentious, hoping it can help him stay safe up in heaven, and after looking up what Togekiss evolves from (the egg-like Togepi) Pentious tears up remembering his Egg Bois and sobs and curls his whole snake body around the Togekiss SWEARING to defend it with hisssss new life!!! Some old echo of Togokiss's old kindness sensing Togetic form kicks in and it immediately bonds with with Pentious It's a happy bittersweet thing for Emily to watch happen right before she leaves, and her last view of heaven is watching her (now clearly his) Togekiss help keep Pentious airborne like a living floatation device as he awkwardly tries flapping his new wings and waving goodbye at Emily at the same time

(Lute is NOT happy finding out the filthy Sinner infiltrator is being guarded by a pokemon capable of such powerful attacks now. She'd gone to a lot of trouble getting Togekiss AWAY from Emily before trying to get the jump on the traitorous Seraph, but now everyone is on their guard, and Vaggie's damn Absol ruined everything, and Pentioius's new Togekiss is JUST as cheerfully passive aggressively smug as Emily was. Which is INFURIATING)

[couldtransitionsaveher]

HAU from POKÉMON SUN AND MOON

JUSTIFICATION:

"Hau is so sweet and so nice and she has had a very special place in my heart ever since i first played sun and moon. Her bulbapedia page describes her as 'big-hearted' and loves pokemon, pokemon battling (which she does mostly for fun but learns to take things more seriously when they need to be) and food! She generally kinda does whatever she wants and still is silly even when people (like Gladion in their first meeting) try to make her feel bad about it. Like i said, i've adored her for years but my trans headcannon/reading is a lot more recent, but now i will never un-see it. (also my trans headcannon for her and my autistic headcannon for her are holding hands in my brain so if it ever feels like this is also a autistic reading of her character you're not wrong.)

Everyone sees Hau as just different, a tad off in some way or another, she has the exceptions of fallowing her grandfather's path but all she really wants to do is make people happy. Her grandfather is a very important member in their community, he's a jolly old man but can be pretty intense. He specializes in fighting types and his own son (Hau's dad) ran off to avoid Hala's exceptions for him. to directly quote bulbapedia: "One of the villagers in Iki Town, where they live, comments that as a [girl], Hau had once witnessed Hala in a rage, which frightened [her] to the point of tears. Nothing Hala did could comfort [her], which he claims is the reason why Hala is "too soft" on Hau".

It's also said that she basically never cries, which is interesting to me. Like she's not any kind of masculine ideal or whatever but i feel like she was exposed to a bit of that 'boys don't cry' idea indirectly. The one time we see her cry is at the very end of sun and moon when her friend (and implied crush) Lillie is going away to have her own adventure. Hau says that she hasn't said everything she wanted to tell her and that she's going to write her a really long letter. This was the biggest fictional lesbian moment of 2016 for me. I don't know how anyone can think she's a straight cis boy after that and i still think about this moment all the time.

I personally read this all as Hau, who loves her family and her community, is given exceptions that on some level she can not handle. To stop being that happy-go-lucky, to stop being too 'soft', to stop the way she is inherently. The ideal end to her arc and story is her realizing that she needs to stop living up to expectations that others give her and finding her own meaning to her life and who she wants to be, and personally i think she would find out that she wants to transition. Thank you and good night." - @pigeon-wizard

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[honeybeesadvice]

self care kit for regressors

be gentle with yourself little ones

hi! i'm in college and i'm researching things to put in a self care box for midterms and finals next semester because my first semester as a college freshman was not it

here's what i found for all my friends <3

this is a long post, get comfy friends

this post does contain links to amazon for reference/recommendations and you do not have to buy anything from there if you can't/don't want to

i found this gift box that's super cute, reusable, and you can choose any color you want. why a gift box? because self care is a gift to yourself

of course, you don't have to spend money on a gift box either! there's many tutorials on making shoe boxes, amazon boxes, and any other type of box i can't think of, to look cute and just your style.

you can also buy cheap gift boxes at walmart or target or any store you like to go to

enough of my waffling about boxes, here's the fun stuff:

emotional self-care

journal for writing down emotions and stuff. i'd recommend making a little agere journal for yourself since it's a lot of fun <;3 i use these pompts when i can't think of things

coloring books are my personal favorite, you can get nice ones for $20-$30 or a kids one of your favorite show!! here's a pack of 16 on amazon if you go through coloring books too another bulk pack(disney and other kids shows) pokemon and sanrio

colored pencils! if you don't already have some i would recommend crayola. this is what i have

cute pencil pouches!! for the colored pencils of course and they can be your favorite color or pattern <;3 this is one i've had my eye on bc it can hold 100 of those colored pencils(floral)

tissues for if you need a good cry. crying is actually super healthy and i wouldn't hold it in

optional: a paci <3 i can't use amazon and get an adult pacifier so i def recommend going to the store(on your own if you can) and get an 18m+ paci, the best for adults are 2-4 years if they sell them

physical

bath time!!:

get some yummy smelling body wash, it's nice

i have little fizzy tabs from mr. bubble and one of those is ~$5

bubbles!!

some little toys like bath crayons and rubber duckies are always fun <3

i would also invest in hair-care and skin-care if you don't already. it always makes me feels better

you can also get your favorite candy and your favorite snack for your box <3 a nice little treat for you

also, warm drinks are always fun! my favorites are angel milk(12oz milk, 1-2 tbsp sugar, a little bit of vanilla extract) and hot chocolate

and get some strong, but really good, scent. candles, scensy melts, and essential oils are perfect <3

mental

books! or if you don't like to read physical books, audiobooks. audible and libby by overdrive are good and you can color while you listen!!!

little puzzles or fidgets are also nice. my favrite at the moment are the little clicker toys(i like the noise) and pop-its

allow yourself to relax a bit with your favorite show!! write down a list of your favorites and put it in the self-care box, then you won't have too much trouble picking what to watch

these are all things that sound appealing to me so definitely look out for yourself and what you like. these are just suggestions that i wanted to share with you guys!!

be safe and take care of yourselves

[fallershipping]

I've been seeing myself rant and be angry far too often for my liking recently. I gotta tone it down by a lot and tackle the insecurity part of it.

When I started out this blog, Looker x Anabel was for certain a rarepair. Not sure what you'd call it now since I've given it so much love and art, but there are times when I swirling thoughts of insecurity. Nothing more than just pesky pests, but maybe just enough flying around to cloud my vision so I don't see the forest for the trees.

I think I just feel like my works, and perhaps by extension myself, the sort of odd one out. My artwork starting this blog out wasn't quite as polished as my preference for my modern work and I felt jealous of some other people in the Pokemon Interpol fandom pumping out gorgeous pieces. Stuff with great anatomy and great style. When I focus on that, I struggle to accept my own style, my own handle on human anatomy, my own grasp on color and background and why can't these people look as good as this person's work?

It's all internal, when I truly abstract it. I feel bad for once or twice I've seen my OTP or art referred to as 'boring' or 'annoyingly everywhere' or 'forced het garbage.' It does upset me so much that something that can bring me intense joy and comfort can the complete opposite for someone else, and that my actions could make someone else upset. I don't think anyone does but we have to live with it right? Fuck I'm actually crying as I type this.

Sometimes I can't help but feel lonely in the fandom. Like I'm just "that one person who ships these two for some reason," when they much rather see the characters with someone else or some other characters drawn or just anything else. I get lost in my thoughts questioning if my own tastes and passions aren't good enough, when they're just mine and that's all they're supposed to be. That my art is too flat compared to this person, too unfinished, too empty.

It's funny to think that I got attached to a ship of effectively two castaways. Two people with a very rare and hard to ever understand backstory-- torn from their homes, their home dimensions, having floated through space.

And all they ever wanted was a friend who knew how they felt when it seemed like the world didn't understand. Someone to rely on when everything hurts, when you feel like you lost yourself.

It's important to me. And when it is perverted or misunderstood or written off as something I do not stand for ... I guess it hurts. I guess it just hurts, just like everyone else.

addendum: it is probably a very personal thing for me that it's not just shipwise but i always felt like i was the odd one out growing up. i had niche interests, a lot of kids thought i was weird, I didn't fit in with girls and i didn't quite fit in with boys, such and such. i guess it manifests into my passions and it builds over time when i feel like i am just kinda alone.

[silver-itallics]

Last Light

Warnings: canon typical violence, heavy angst, hurt no comfort, you guys will be mad at me

a/n: I was thinking about when Leigh mentioned in the saw commentary that someone wrote a monologue from Lawrence's point of view after leaving the bathroom and I wanted to write one for Adam

"I'm a liar?"

"I wouldn't lie to you."

Liar, lies. Seems like either way, Adam is getting screwed over.

He sits in the dark, dingy bathroom, his eyes still struggling to adjust. His throat is raw and aching from all the screaming and crying. Not even the hardest sex could have done that to him.

God, he's really gonna die having fucked one person.

All of his relationships were mediocre, even the platonic ones. Scott treated him like shit, the guy probably hasn't even noticed that he's gone.

Has anyone?

Lawrence is someone that would be noticed, he's got a wife and kids for fucks sake.

"I've got a family too, Lawrence! I don't talk to them anymore, that's my mistake. A mistake I'd like to fix."

One of the last things he remembers at the apartment is scribbling "Call mom?" On a crumpled post it and sticking it to the wall. The paper has probably fallen down by now. Forgotten.

Are his parents even looking for him?

Probably not. They probably haven't noticed either.

Everything that Adam does ends up screwing him in the end, just like this. But he can't really blame anyone but himself, can he? Not even $200 was worth being stuck in this bathroom. Doesn't even soften the fact that he'll probably be here forever.

The money was meant to go for his food. Not a camera, not developing fluid, not even that shiny new pokemon game Adam wanted. Food.

A necessity he barely even had.

"Why? Call it my need to eat."

He remembers snapping at Lawrence like it was the most obvious answer. But food is a luxury even Adam can't afford. The guy lives off of ramen noodles and sodas from the gas station. Sometimes he even wonders why he never gained any weight since he ate such shit.

His mom was never the greatest cook, but he'd take soggy meatloaf and unseasoned mashed potatoes any day.

At the thought, Adam's stomach rumbles. His guts ache from hunger, but he's not a stranger to it. That's usually how his day goes.

He can't even blame Jigsaw for trapping him here. But in all honesty, Adam has done so much self sabotaging, that he's probably done worse to himself than the man that left him here.

He's felt worse betrayal than when the dead man stood up, peeled the fake skin off his skull and left him here.

"Game over!"

Dead man. Adam squints in the darkness, trying to make out Zep's corpse. He's not even sure why. The first time he saw a dead body, or what he thought was one, he puked his guts out into the tub. Couldn't even keep down his latest meal.

He'll probably starve even quicker now.

The room smells like blood, and his fingers are sticky from the same substance. Not only is he a voyeur, he's a killer. Maybe his last girlfriend was right: he's too angry.

Adam isn't very good at anatomy, at least the human side of it. But he knows he broke through layers of skin and bone when he'd crushed through the hospital orderly's skull.

"It's the rules!"

Knowing now, he feels guilty. Awful, even. Guy probably had a family too, even if he was a bit of a creep. Where do you draw the line of deserving a family? What's so bad that you no longer are worthy of someone related by blood? Adam's probably the worst person to ask that.

He'd stormed out on his parents after a petty argument, an excuse to leave. One that he'd been wanting to have since he was seventeen. Somehow, he'd convinced himself that they wouldn't accept him, even if they let him drop out of high school and didn't even call the cops when he left. But was that tolerance or pure disinterest?

Maybe he's not a total waste of time, since his mom had called not long before he got his power knocked out the same way he was.

"Adam, your father's not angry anymore."

Lawrence had a home, a family. A good one, too. The pictures he saw of Diana and Alison made him crack a smile. At least before the one with them tied up. He shivers, probably both from disgust and blood loss.

His shoulder aches, oozing blood all over his shitty thrift store clothes. Adam understands why Doctor Gordon left. He has some place to go, people to welcome him home with open arms. Most places Adam went, he wasn't even noticed.

He kicks with his right foot in anger, the chain rattling as he does. The metal bites into his skin and the amount of pain he's in is just frustrating at this point. Adam screams, but his voice is raw and broken.

As much as he hopes the doctor will come back for him, at least he has half the brain to know that Lawrence probably won't make it. The man that he's had the first physical touch from in months is probably bleeding out in the sewers, and there's nothing he can do about it.

He doesn't even have a choice to cut off his foot like the doctor did. Sure, the blood loss will probably kill him, but Adam is sick of waiting around for something to happen. A job to drop, a phone call.

But he can't even do that.

The hacksaw he found in the toilet had snapped in half. A result of his ever consuming anger. Seems like everything he does leads back to that.

"I see a strange mix of someone who's angry, yet apathetic. But mostly just pathetic."

If Adam isn't angry at the world, he's angry with himself. He feels like a waste of space on the good days and a tumor on the face of the earth on the bad ones. At least with photography he felt like he had a purpose, even if it was supplying creeps and weirdos with material. He wasn't really helping anyone, was he? Even Tapp ended up dead.

But Lawrence helps people. Even if he thought the guy was initially a jerk, Adam admires him. Misses the man's blood stained hands as he cupped his cheeks.

"I wanted to be a vet."

That way, he'd benefit the world somehow. Even if he was pulling tennis balls out of dogs' throats or cleaning up puke every day. He'd much rather smell vomit, as he's getting quite sick of the coppery scent of blood.

"That's nonsense. I've seen kids with brain cancer graduate high school from a hospital bed."

"They got further than I ever did."

Adam has been pretty able bodied his whole life. While he'd consider it a nuisance that his body doesn't match up with his own view of himself, that's not a disability.

Maybe his parents wouldn't even mind, maybe they'd help him with the cost of surgery and injections. But he hadn't even told them. His parents barely know who he is. Adam barely knows himself.

"What do voyeurs see when they look in the mirror?"

Nothing. The answer is nothing.

He's like a leech, sucking the energy and luck out of everyone around him.

Now he's left to sit in his own grave- metaphorically and literally. He probably won't even have the luxury of being buried or cremated.

Hopefully someone will come around and put him out of his misery. Like a calf with two heads or a dog with rabies.

But until then, he's left to wait.