#why did i think a 15 minute walk in this weather would be 'good exercise'

[storywestistrash]

it is so hot outside im going to throw up

[wthtorke]

Cultural Differences

One shot commission for @scallopedsuitcase ! Thank you! 

You didn’t know what to do anymore.

When you heard that the Yautja-Human peace treaty was finally up and running and that not only that meant everyone was safe and sound but also that the galaxy’s greatest and sexiest species was to roam free within your planet. You were proudly part of a small community that wasn’t opposed to...engaging-, with such creatures.

It didn’t take long for you to find your Yautja of interest. He was tall. Taller than any other partner you ever had before. That alone did things to you. Their ships had taken residency in whatever forests seemed best to them. You’d never thanked the skies more for living right outside a reserve in your life. 

The first thing you checked was his wrist from afar. To make things easier for everyone while they sorted out yautja translators for humans, yautjas interested in human contact wore different colored lights on their wrist gauntlets. Some of the colors were; red for ‘No Contact’, yellow for ‘formal contact only’, blue for ‘Friendly contact’, and purple for ‘Accepting of human advances’.

Now, while the term was awkward at best, but you were the happiest human on earth when your crush showed up on your street with that purplish wrist gauntlet. it’s lights dancing, glowing brighter and then darker again in an endless cycle.

He was everything you’ve ever dreamed of physically and after some time observing and building up your courage-, you found that his personality was just as much endearing as his physique. 

You’d taken to hiking, something you didn’t exactly have the habit of doing, all in hopes of spotting him by his ship, and so you did. So, there began your mission. While you didn’t have a translator on your person, there was one language that was known to all the galaxy.

Flirting.

Flirting was supposed to be exciting, charming, and well, what better way to let someone know you were totally into them, right? Surely, some winks and gestures here and there would pass him the message loud and clear.

2 weeks in of hiking and you could feel your muscles hardening up. The way your body responded to this new routine spoke volumes of your previous sedentary ways, never really having a reason to leave the house if it wasn’t for work or well, buying what you needed. So far, however, your flirting had brought you no results. The times you could make out his expressions when he saw you were...not pleasing. He looked...confused, at best. 

So, you sat at home on a particularly cold night, holding a warm mug of hot chocolate to keep the shivers at bay, wondering what could you possibly be doing wrong. You bit your lip, winked, wore your best clothes, and still, nothing. It was frustrating.

You checked on your translator order situation, refreshing the page now and then as you knew they were updated at night. When the peace treaty was first announced and the ‘requesting’ system was up, you hurried to place your order. The translator wasn’t cheap, and it would only be one of the very prototypes, meaning it wouldn’t be able to translate everything at once so fluidly, but at least you’d be able to communicate faster before most of the people could, and that alone made you very happy, it was exhilarating. 

The translator had been ‘In Confection’ for months now, finally coming around the expected date of postage as your page told you. 

Another hour went by before you refreshed it again, the yellow dot becoming green with the text you had been waiting for underneath it. 

“In Transit.”

Finally.

With newfound excitement and determination, you pulled up the weather report for tomorrow’s morning and afternoon, sighing as you thought of your Yautja crush yet again.

The next morning came as fast as your head hit the pillow as you jumped up and out of the bed, ready to start your day with your morning jog, hoping to see him either on the way up or down the trail. Teeth brushed, hair tied up, and a water bottle filled, you made your way out the door, feeling the chilly morning air fill your lungs, wiping away the last remains of sleep from your body.

While jogging, you fell in thought. 

The translator wouldn’t take more than 3 days to arrive. In little time you’d be able to communicate with him...but what if he didn’t like you? 

Your jogging slowed down to a walk as this hit you hard in the head.

What if he had already rejected you and you didn’t catch it? You thought about it further and so came the odd looks he gave you, the puzzled stares, and more. You made your efforts well known and well shown as well, and he didn’t growl or try to move away, so it couldn’t have been that bad, right?

You looked at your feet as you walked, lost in those thoughts as you hit something hard, making you stumble back a couple of steps. You looked back up in surprise only to find out it wasn’t something but someone.

“Oh, hi! Sorry, I um, I didn’t see you,” You said, doing your best to gesture to him, and then your eyes, trying to tell him what you said.

As always, he stood there for a second, slowly nodding afterward. He tilted his head to the side a bit, getting a little closer to your person as if inspecting your face. His tusks were close to your face, so close you thought he was going to kiss you. Or well, try to, given he didn’t have lips.

“I-,” was all you managed to get out before he stepped back, shaking his head slightly before reaching behind his back, where his pouch usually was. Hands coming forward again, he extended his arm, opening his palm to present you with something.

You gasped at the notion of receiving a gift from him, this could only mean courtship, right?

Looking down at his hand, you were more than confused to see a very human-made looking pill bottle. “What?” You said, picking it up from his hand.

‘Melatonin. Sleep aid.’

“Sleep aid?” You questioned, looking back up at him, “Are you saying I look tired?!” You said, shaking the pill bottle towards him, the yautja raising his hands a bit, the universal sign for ‘hey calm down’.

But what could this possibly mean?

“I tried so hard! And you say I took tired? I’ve been coming here every day to see you! You-!” You sighed, shoulders slacking a bit after your outburst. “Okay, okay. You know what? Fuck-, I get it, I’ll let you be,” You said, turning right back around, deciding to end your exercise right there when the biggest hand you ever felt closed around your arm, making you look back again.

You had heard the Yautja language before, but hearing it live was just as foreign. He was speaking fast, the clicks and guttural growls making absolutely no sense to you.

He still, somehow, managed to look confused while speaking such a harsh tongue.

“I don’t understand!” You exasperated, yanking your arm free and sighing again. You put your hand up, “Wait.” you said. 

He looked at your hand, which accompanied with the word made something light up in his face as he nodded this time. “Good, I’ll um, see you later,” You said, waving and making the rest of your way back to your house.

You couldn’t stop thinking about it. Sitting on your couch while staring at the pill bottle on the table. It was what it was, you supposed. It was truly melatonin. 

But what did he mean with it? Did he want you to sleep well? Why did he think you weren’t getting enough sleep?

“Where did he even get this?!”

The pill bottle was sealed still, just like the ones you’d buy at the drug store. Could you imagine? A Yautja walking in a drug store and purchasing melatonin? If you told that to someone, they’d think you were crazy, even with the whole peace treaty going on.

Another day went by and you didn’t go jogging anymore, afraid your ‘relationship’ could turn sour if you saw him again without your translator. Still, the pill bottle haunted you, sitting in the exact place on your table.

On the second morning after your disastrous encounter, the doorbell rang. And you knew exactly what it was for. Sprinting for the door, the mailman was different, clearly a private company worker, holding your package with both his hands, looking around as he waited for you to come up.

Package picked up, opened, and fiddled with. After 15 minutes, you sat in your living room muttering words into your translator, watching as it came to life, making some odd sounds in what you knew was the yautja language.

Now you could go talk to him, for real.

Picking up the pill bottle from the table, you sprinted up the trail again, regretting not bringing your water bottle as you reached the place where you last saw him, panting and a little red in the face.

You looked back up when you heard soft purring, a sound you hadn’t heard before but wished dearly to.

‘It means affection’ you recalled reading once from the article the first human to mate a yautja wrote, ‘Fondness’.

You straightened yourself, clearing your throat before looking up at him, “Um, hi, I- ah fuck,” you fiddled some more, producing your translator from your pocket, getting a curious look from the yautja before you.

“I hope this works” you muttered before lifting the device closer to your mouth and taking a deep breath. “Hi, I hope this translates what I’m saying decently, now, I’d please like to know what did you mean with this?” You said into it, waiting a second before it started its clicking noises.

The Yautja’s expression changed instantly, his eyes widening as he leaned forward to the sound of his language. He squinted as he kept listening, making you blush in embarrassment. God, was the translator that bad?

Upon hearing the last of the clicking, you lifted the pill bottle to him for emphasis, waiting for him to react.

He stood up straight again, eyeing the bottle he gave you a few days prior, still unopened. He extended his hand, shaking his head when you offered him the bottle, pointing instead to the translator in your other hand. “Oh, of course!” You handed it to him, watching as he had a look at the digital screen, apparently switching its mode from ‘Human to Yautja’ to ‘Yautja to Human’ seeing as the translator worked with just about every human language around the world.

Satisfied with the settings, he started speaking into it himself, gesturing to the pill bottle while he did so and then, to your surprise, to your face. This made you gasp a bit, your mind jumping to the worst conclusions possible. Did he think you were ugly? Well, you’d have to wait and see.

As he finished speaking, you both gave the translator a couple of seconds when a male voice spoke up, making you jump a bit, hands shaking in anticipation. “Hello. I thought you were sick. Whenever we had an encounter, you would make these strange expressions. I searched for them, the results were that what could be possibly making you have these...tics, was lack of sleep. The excessive blinking, biting your lips, involuntary facial pulling, all are the result of sleepless nights, excessive exhaustion, and the medicine for that is...that, for humans anyway.”

“WHAT?!” You yelled, snatching the translator back from his hand as he stared at you with yet another confused expression. “I was flirting with you! Flirting! I’m not sick!” You said, holding out the translator as it did its thing.

Confusion melting away into realization, he spoke again, not bothering to hold the translator but simply stepping closer to you.

“You were trying to court me?”

“Yes! I was winking at you! It’s a human thing!” You said, then realizing your mistake, “Oh...human thing...Ah fuck” You covered your face in embarrassment, “God, that’s why you always looked at me like that, I-”

“Would you still like to...court me?”

“Yes!” You said, head jerking up again so fast the yautja before you flinched a bit. “I-, yes.” You cleared your throat, a hard blush creeping its way across your face again.

“Good, it was my plan to court you too...after you had healed of your...sickness.” He said, chuckling, “Which apparently was no sickness at all.” He cleared as you squinted at him, “Well, I’m Yeyinde.” He said, “I’m glad we can finally communicate, always wanted to ask you a few things.”

You smiled, feeling that blush coming back again, “How about we go on a walk? Then we can talk about anything you want” You said, holding out your free hand for him to take.

“Of course,” He rumbled, massive hand closing gently around yours as you started walking up the rest of the trail.

[nikrangdan]

photographer!ni-ki

pairing: photographystudent!ni-ki x gender neutral reader

genre: fluff, comedy

description: every time you went to the park you noticed a mysterious boy who would take pictures of the scenery on his cute little camera. you liked to see what he’d take pictures of from afar but one day you noticed his camera pointing straight at.. you

for ni-ki’s bday!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOVE <33 sorry i posted a day late but i hope u all enjoy!

��——

“y/n!”

you groan before getting out of your bed at 10am

it was a saturday why was your mom yelling at u ..

you walked into the kitchen all sluggishly and rubbed your eyes

“you need to start taking suki on walks to the park. you need the exercise too.” your mom doesn’t even spare u a glance before walking out the door to run some errands

right

u forgot u were taking care of ur cousins dog while he was out of town... her name was suki

shes a little shiba inu AND SHES THE CUTEST THING EVER!!!!

WELP

u dont even have a choice anymore

u got somewhat ready before heading out with suki in your arms

shes so soft and fluffy

though u dont like to admit it, u kinda agreed with ur mom about u needing to exercise and get out the house

you’ve been cooped up in your room for days with no social or nature interaction

so

the park was about a 10 minute drive from ur house

and it was actually a really pretty park...

there was a lake and really pretty flowers everywhere and alot of gazebos and benches

and a nice open field of greenery

it basically looked like a park out of a movie

so you weren’t suprised that there was a decent amount of people there

but not too much thankfully.. or else you would’ve driven to another park with less people

you got out the car with suki and put her on the leash

let the walking begin!!!!

it was a really nice day out... the sun was shining but it wasnt too hot or cold

you led her onto the sidewalk and she began sniffing at the grass around her

whenever a few people would pass they would coo at how adorable she was

it wasnt until 5 minutes later that ur eyes locked onto a figure infront of the lake

you were just walking with suki in silence.. admiring the scenery

until u caught sight of a boy

u could only see his back but u noticed the camera over his shoulder

he was standing in one of those photographer poses where like one leg is bent and kind of out while his back is hunched to get that perfect angle of a shot

he was infront of the sidewalk railings where the lake begins and he was taking photos of the scenery across from it

it was a beautiful sight honestly

there was another sidewalk but behind it was colorful trees and blossoming flowers and bushes

u understood why he’d take pictures of it

you didnt see his face but u kind of acknowledged the boy before walking past him with suki

basically thinking he was just another passerby that you noticed making a single appearance in your life and never expecting to see him again

OH BOY U WERE WRONG

the next time you see him is 3 days later at the same park

you were walking suki again but this time at 7pm after dinner

the sun was almost done setting so the sky was getting darker but there was still a hint of the orange circle peeking from below

this time you walked further down the sidewalk path towards the scattered gazebos

and you noticed the same boy again

this time he was sat in one of the gazebos with his tiny camera in his hands

his back was hunched over again and he was looking closely at the pictures he had taken

‘oh its him again’ u thought

and that was it

LOL

u just acknowledged him in ur head AGAIN before u thought nothing of it and continued ur walk with suki

so the NEXT time u saw him was another 2 days later at 7pm again

you wanted to take suki on a quick walk

but you got tired after like 10 minutes so you sat down on a blanket u brought

suki was just laying next to u while u were on ur phone

it wasnt fully dark out yet and there was still a few people in the park

the fairy lights that were placed around were lit up already

it was super pretty and the weather was nice

after staring at ur phone for a few mins u looked up just to look around

and u saw Him again

wow

why do u keep seeing him !?!?!

his back was faced towards u like always

and he was like 40 feet away from u so he looked so tiny

but u could tell it was him because of his blond hair and black coat he always wore

you kind of zoned out and unfortunately ur eyes were trained on his back without u even noticing

and he

turned

around

for the first time EVER!!!!

its like he sensed someone staring at him

but yes he turned around with his camera in his hand

the first thing u noticed was that he got a new camera

it was a larger black one

definitely more expensive

Awe good for him!!!!!

and then u glanced up to see his face

and u made EYE CONTACT

u looked away so fast

because

He was SO CUTE.............

u awkwardly started looking to your left and tried turning ur face away from him

‘oh look at those beautiful um... birds.. yeah’

hopefully he didnt notice

*nervously sweats*

u didnt dare look back in that direction so u spent the rest of your evening in the park on ur phone or playing with suki

eventually it reached 8pm so u packed up ur stuff and went home

U were still kind of thinking about that boy....

so u were like

i need to go back

and u did Lol

u went back the next day at 6pm this time with suki

it was lighter out and the sky was beautiful

perfect for a certain boy to be taking photos

*evil laugh*

u were walking for like 15 minutes and u didnt see him anywhere :((((

the one time u go there for HIM

u settled down under a tree

suki immediately went on the blanket when u sat down too

you played tug of war with her and fed her some treats while playing

playing with her for 10 minutes straight definitely tired u out so u laid down and just stared at the sky

it was a faded blue turning into orange and pink

U were kinda bored so u sat up and started petting suki

you would occasionally glance up at the strangers walking past u

and

let me tell u what Happened..

u looked up at another lady walking her dog and went like

‘aweee that dog is so cute’ in ur head

and u took ur eyes off the dog and glanced to ur right

idk bc u felt like it

AND GUESS WHAT U SEE???!??????

THE BOY

LIKE 20 FEET AWAY

STANDING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FIELD

AND HE HAD HIS CAMERA UP TO HIS FACE

and it WAS POINTED AT U ??!?!

as soon as u looked in his direction he jumped and put his hands down

he like

Blushed????? and awkwardly smiled u know rubbing the neck and all that

he was embarrassed

ur cheeks were turning so red

BUT HE WAS SO ADORABLE

was kind of weird.... stalkerish but um

he cleared that up BECAUSE

He started walking over to u

he was wearing black jeans that were ripped on the knees with black high top converse

and a gray sweater with a black coat over it

HE JUST LOOKED CUTE OK

ur were like OMg []£{€]%[#{%€]£{

n he just Plop

he stood right infront of u basically towering bc u were sitting under the tree

suki noticed the boy and tilted her head like hmmmm???

u had the SMALLEST smile on ur face bc u wanted to seem friendly but not TOO friendly

he had his camera strap over his arm while he held it and his other hand was rubbing the name of his neck

“uh... sorry about that.. i didn’t mean to seem weird or anything!” he waved his hands infront of him to deny it

u just sat there while he talked like ❤️_❤️

“im uh taking photos for my class and i thought u looked nice so i took some pictures.. im really sorry i should’ve asked first now i seem weird or something im really-,”

u cut him off so he didnt ramble any longer

“no its okay! i get it” you gave him a warm smile and pet suki while she drifted to your side and kept her eyes on him

u both just stared at eachother for a few seconds before you spoke

“um.. would you like to sit?” you scooted over and made room for him in the blanket

WOW U WERE FEELING BOLD TODAY...

“uh sure” he set his camera down and sat beside u

“this is suki.. shes my cousins dog” u said when she climbed into his lap and started sniffing him

he grinned and pet her before looking up at you

“im ni-ki by the way” his cheeks turned a bit pink which u thought was cute

“y/n” you smiled

“suki seems to like you” u laughed

“so how long have you been working on this project or whatever?”

“oh um i started last week... i just have to make a portfolio of photos i take and turn it in” he said while keeping his eyes trained on suki

u noticed he didnt make eye contact with u often but u knew it was probably because he was nervous because u do that too

“can i see the pictures...?” u hesitantly ask him

his eyes light up when u say that

“yeah!”

AWE HES SO EXCITED

he picks up his camera next to him and clicks a few buttons

“oh by the way... ive noticed u at the park before! you’re always with the camera” you laugh

“ah yeah, this park is where most of my project photos are taken.”

he leans over and shows you the pictures on the device

“woah” you let out a gasp

he showed u the picture he took of you first

How does a picture look better than real life...

you’ve never really been into photography but now that you’ve seen his work u might just have to start getting into it

“this isnt even done yet, i still have to edit it so it’ll look even more perfect” he shyly says

“this is amazing what the heck” your jaw is Dropped

“thanks”

“i need to see the final result” u said because it was such a nice picture

“um.. if you give me your number i can show you it” he sent you a cheeky grin

SMOOTH.....

he was so AGGGHGGHG ur kind of obsessed

you two exchange numbers and talk about random things for a whole hour until he says he has to go

“it was really nice meeting you.. i had fun” he tells you as he starts standing up

suki is sleeping so he tries not to wake her up

“i had fun too” you smile

“would you like me to walk you to your car?”

A GENTLEMAN !!?!?!?!

“oh yeah, thanks”

you two spend another 2 minutes together as you walk side by side with suki in your arms and he held your blanket and bag for you

you reached your car and thanked him

“ill see you soon, dont forget to text me! and good luck on the project, i know you’ll do great”

“thank you..”

ni-ki’s cheeks turn pink once more before he turns around and starts walking away with a smile on his face

he is just the cutest thing ever

you definitely need to see him again

[marias-in-pyjamas]

Eclipse: Chapter 1.1

See more from the masterlist.

Pairings:

Commanding Agent Adam du Mortain x Detective Eliana Langford x Specialist Agent Mason ; Agent Nate Sewell x Detective Ellara Kingston

Content Rating - Warnings: G - none

At Detective Kingston’s Apartment 

Ellara groans as she felt her face slowly getting wet because of the thing that is excitedly licking it. Albeit reluctant, she opened her eyes only to be greeted by the sight of her dog's nose. 

"Woof." The dog barks, making her let out yet another groan before she wraps her arms around the small of its body. Stirring from her position, she saw the clock and realized what day it was. 

14 Jan ’19 – 05:00

It's so early omg. 

But it's not like she could complain. And she is feeling pretty excited about today too. Who wouldn't, when it's the first day that you are officially your town's detective? Ellara chuckles to herself, scrambling to stand on her feet. 

She stood in front of her bedroom mirror, carrying Sol with her. She stares at herself, and oh does she look like a disaster. But it doesn't matter. She can do a lot to fix it. 

And so with Sol still perched on her arms, she walked to the kitchen starting her morning rituals with breakfast for the both of them as usual. 

Everything feels like the usual except from the rapid beating of her heart inside her chest. She doesn't even know if it's excitement, or just her nerves trying to make her reconsider all of this. Well she wouldn't, would she? She dismisses the thought by shaking her head. She proceeds to continue eating as she happily watches her dog eat with the same enthusiasm. 

A few spoonfuls and minutes later, she found herself cleaning after their mess. It was quick, as she only ever need to wash a single breakfast set. Maybe I should sleep more. 

"Woof!" Sol calls out wagging his tail and getting his owner's attention 

The woman's eyes immediately went to him and she gave him a very fond smile. A smile that is a lot more genuine than a lot of her others. She crouches down and pets the pupper, "Wanna go for a walk? What do you say, boy?" 

"Woof, woof!" 

And that was all it took for her to understand the answer.

After the walk

07:15

"I hope the walk was enough for you, baby." Ellara smiles as she detaches the leash from Sol's collar, letting him run free around the apartment again. 

Thankfully, the weather isn't hot, and the walk wasn't that much of a bother. Getting ready for work before walking Sol is probably the best decision she ever made this week. Especially with Tina's message. 

Ugh, a murder? As my first case? 

Her smile turned into a frown just thinking about it. Wayhaven is a quiet town. And it's the first murder in town ever since she was born. It shouldn't even bother her, but it does anyway. Ellara values all of her firsts, so it's only natural that she's reading too much into this. 

Her thought was cut off just as she heard a motorcycle engine start up loudly. And, when did someone own a motorcycle in this street before? 

Curious, she quickly pulled her blinds open. Peeking on her window, she saw a figure sitting on a big motorcycle. The person has their back facing her, and with a black helmet on she can't even catch a glimpse of what they look like. The motorcycle zooms away. 

It must be her new neighbor. She saw a car parked in front of the apartment yesterday. Unfortunately, she weren't able to meet her new neighbor yet. Oh well, maybe she'll knock later at night just to make sure they're settling in. With a shrug, she closed her blinds once again. 

07:30

She looks around her apartment making sure that everything is in order before she grabs a box of dog food from her kitchen. She puts plenty of it on the pet feeder she had managed to assemble. At least now, she won't feel too worried for her dog during work hours. 

The dog catches up to her, and follows her closely behind until she stepped outside the door. Sol sits on the floor inside the apartment at a close distance. She crouches on the floor to level with him and smiles. 

"Bye, boy. Be good okay? Mommy will be home before you even know it," she says, giving Sol one last kiss before she stood, locked the door, and finally left for work.

At Detective Langford’s Apartment

14 Jan ’19 – 04:15

Eliana had been staring at the ceiling for almost an hour now, her racing thoughts still not calming down. She was woken up by a nightmare earlier, but considering her line of work, it’s not really much of a surprise to her anymore. The things she’d seen in the city marked her, haunted her. But it also made her stronger, fiercer. Things normal people would easily succumb into and feel squeamish about. But still, she persevered. She continued working hard. She continued doing her job well. She continued pushing forward towards her goal – to be the youngest police captain in the history of Metropolis Police Department. And for a while, it seemed like the universe was finally on her side. Her career was advancing according to the time line she had planned for herself. But of course, as it always does, something eventually happens to prove her how wrong she is to think that the universe is on anyone’s side. Just as she was finally getting the hang of being a detective, she was reassigned out of nowhere into some backwater town: Wayhaven. A wrench in her carefully-crafted plan. A wrench in her career.

So that’s how Eliana had found herself staring at the ceiling of her new apartment in Wayhaven, wondering if she was maybe cursed from something she did from her past life. Luna – her pet puppy – was snoring beside her. Her furry companion’s head resting on the crook of her arm. Careful not to jostle her too much, Eliana turned her head towards the clock in her bedside table to look at the time. Knowing that she will not be able to sleep again anytime soon, she fully turned her body towards Luna and cuddled the puppy closer to her chest. Counting down from five to calm her nerves, she inhaled the familiar scent of the puppy and planted a soft kiss in her forehead. Luna turned sleepily towards her and licked Eliana’s nose as a response before going back to sleep again. Chuckling softly, she gently extricated herself from Luna and scratched her ears before sitting up on the side of the bed.

Going to work early is not exactly new for Eliana. So with that in mind, she pushed herself off of the bed and started her morning routine. She changed from wearing her night clothes to her sportswear before she started stretching her limbs to prepare herself for a little rigorous exercise. After a few minutes of exercising, she proceeded to place some dog food on Luna’s bowl, causing the energetic puppy to clamber off of the bed in a hurry to get to her food.

Eliana went to her kitchen to make herself some much needed coffee. Whenever asked, she always say that she prefers her coffee as dark and black as her soul. While waiting for the coffee machine to finish, she sat on the bar stool in the kitchen island and searched the internet for the directions of the police station. Bookmarking it, she prepared all the stuff she needs for work and finished drinking her coffee, which actually counts as her breakfast.

After Luna finished her breakfast, Eliana spent a few more minutes spoiling the little girl with pets before fetching the puppy’s collar and leash. With a smile on her face that only her furry companion ever witnesses, she turned toward Luna and asked, “Who wants to go for a walk?”

“Bork, bork!” Luna exclaimed while wagging her tail enthusiastically, already running towards her human.

God, she loves that puppy, even if she’s not really on good terms with the one who gave Luna to her. Fastening Luna’s leash on, the pair of them went outside to do their usual morning run, but in a different area and surroundings now.

05:30

After an hour of running, Eliana decided to walk around the neighborhood with Luna, just to acquaint herself more with her current residence. The stares of the townspeople as she and her puppy passed was something she expected. After all, she knows that it’s not usual for people to see someone from the city transferring here as she herself is not even sure why she was transferred here. But what else can I do right now except to suck it up?

Taking the other way around towards home, Eliana and Luna walked together at a leisurely pace, knowing that there’s still a long time before she needs to prepare for work.

After the walk

07:00

After arriving home, Eliana rested for a little while before finally taking a shower. Enjoying the hot shower for a few minutes, she turned it off to get dressed and get ready.

Having finally finished dressing-up for work, Eliana stared at herself on her full-body mirror. Her hazel eyes stared back at her, the only memory of her late father that she remembers. Her lean form is hidden beneath her black button-down shirt that was tucked in a tight-fitting black jeans, with her police badge holder clipped on the side of her belt. A simple gold necklace is sitting prettily on the base of her throat partnered by stud earrings of the same color, three on her right ear and two on the left. The black combat boots she’s wearing gives her an extra two inches on her height, but even without the boots, she’s already taller than some of the detectives in the city. A black leather jacket completes her whole look, helping her fight off the chill when she’s riding her motorcycle. She’s about to turn away from the mirror – seemingly satisfied by what she saw – when her eyes zoomed in on the roots of her hair. The light brown color is reappearing again, a reminder that no matter what color of hair dye she chooses and uses – underneath it all and despite everything that has happened – she’s still her mother’s daughter and having that same hair color of hers is an evidence of that.

Making a mental note to buy more hair dye in the town square, she went outside her room and secured Luna’s playpen. She double-checked that the automatic food and water dispenser is working then kissed Luna goodbye. She shouldered her bag and her black helmet and turned to leave.

Not really knowing what to expect (although she thinks that she’ll most likely be bored to death on her first day as a detective in Wayhaven), she took a deep breath and went outside her apartment, locking it behind her.

Eliana went to the parking space where she left her motorcycle. Securing her helmet on and starting the engine, she decided to first try out the coffee shop she saw near the police station as she still has plenty of time to spare. Maybe she’ll stakeout outside the station for a few minutes, just to see how busy and active it could really be, this early in the morning.

Making up her mind, Eliana drove away from the apartment block’s parking space, the roar of the engine of her motorcycle heard by the detective living next door to her’s.

[alex-ruins-everything]

Turning Pages - Chapter 3

Intrulogical bookshop au! Read the whole thing on ao3 here

Logan admittedly was shocked with himself for turning down the offer of coffee with Roman’s brother. He had been equally shocked that the other had actually purchased a book when he crashed the reading of the children’s book. Sure the man with the white streak of hair had crossed his mind a few times in the past few days, mostly when he saw Roman enter the shop to bother Virgil. Would Remus be barging in again? He had convinced himself the thought only crossed his mind because of how destructive the man was. He messed up the stands and shouted in the shop...he was like a tornado or a car crash. Terrible but impossible to look away from. Hence why he had been a little taken aback when he spotted that same white streak sitting with the kids in a circle while Patton went through his Saturday reading circle.

“Who was that guy?” Patton asked during a lull in the customers. “He came and listened to the reading.” “That would be Remus. Roman’s twin brother. You were on break the first time he came in,” Logan responded, smoothing down the front of the apron. “Perhaps word of Patton’s Reading Circle has begun to reach a broader audience.”

That got a laugh from Patton which told Logan he was gonna drop the questions about Remus. Good. There were much more important things to think about than rowdy men with eyes that were so green they looked like toxic waste. Logan wondered if he wore contacts because Roman’s were hazel at best, but Remus’ seemed to glow. No- he shut that line of thinking down, relieved when a customer came in and asked to be shown to the biography section. Work was a great distraction when one’s mind began to be plagued by things he’d rather not think about. After the man was helped the customer’s started to thin, the busy morning turning into a dead zone evening. That was the way it worked around here. Nobody really came into the shop unless there was an event, which is what made Patton and his children’s books so imperative.

Logan didn’t mind being at the shop all day. Patton had opened, but Logan had shown up thirty minutes early just to ensure it was going smoothly. By the time it was closing he was hardly tired, having chosen two new books to read over the course of the day, blatantly ignoring the marine biology section despite his interest having been piqued by a certain encyclopedia. The shop was closed on Sundays so he had no work tomorrow, and Monday was his day off, an unnecessary requirement that Mr. Sanders had put into place for every employee. Something about not working oneself into the ground. Still, his day of absence meant he had to get everything spic and span for Monday. He was out by 6:15, his shift technically ended at 6 since the shop closed at 5. He had said goodbye to Patton around 3 so it was just him alone with the books, something that might seem eerie to some, but it was when he felt most comfortable.

The sun was still out when he left, locking the door behind him. The summer air was warm, but today luckily wasn’t humid. Leaving the air conditioned store into humid weather always made his glasses fog up with condensation. Instead today the warmth just settled pleasantly into his skin. The town they lived in was small, the bookshop nestled among other family owned businesses, any chain store off in the shopping mall fifteen miles away. It was quiet and that was what Logan liked. He took the long way home, walking through the park instead of the direct route. As he passed the pond with the geese sitting around it he couldn’t help but wonder if these were the poor birds that had fallen prey to Remus Kingsley’s antics.

“Perhaps we have something in common, my fowl feathered friends,” he said as a line of them crossed the pathway.

Logan waited for the geese to finish crossing before continuing on, the sunlight bouncing off the leaves of the trees and illuminating the people sitting on the benches. A mother and her young children, two younger boys with skateboards, and couples. Lots and lots of couples. Holding hands, gazing into each other's eyes. Logan noted it was the type of stuff Roman always romanticized. It was the kind of stuff he had always found personally trivial and unnecessary. He gave a content sigh once he finally reached his apartment, taking the steps up to the fourth floor since the elevator was nearly always out of order. He didn’t mind, though. The stairs were an excellent form of exercise which was a vital part to living a healthy life.

His evening was calm, pleasant even. He cooked himself dinner just as he always did, enjoying his meal at the table with soft music playing in the background. For dessert he was even fortunate enough to have some cookies Patton had given him which he snuck some of his favorite jam onto. Logan had no work to catch up on so he settled onto his sofa with a book, flipping through the pages happily until a character description caught his attention. Green eyes. He wondered if they were a muted green or bright and exciting like Remus’-- and then he promptly banished that thought from his mind.

It was highly unreasonable to entertain these continuous thoughts about Remus Kingsley. Firstly he seemed to be a bringer of chaos, a concept that Logan did not appreciate. Logan appreciated order and routine, he doubted Remus had either of those things. Secondly, Remus is Roman’s brother. Logan is not great at having friends, but he considers Roman an acquaintance of his. After all, on occasion he has been invited out with Patton and Virgil and Roman seemed to usually be there. That was his social group, and he was fairly certain there was some sort of unspoken rule about dating family members of your acquaintances. Thirdly, and most importantly, Logan was not looking for a relationship. He was far too busy to dedicate time to another person when his life was divided up perfectly into work, pursuit of knowledge, and the occasional social activity to upkeep connections with others. There was no space for Remus Kingsley in his life. His continued thoughts seemed to suggest otherwise, however.

“I need to make a list,” Logan spoke aloud to an empty apartment, setting his book aside and grabbing the notepad from the coffee table.

He set up two columns, dedicated to rationalizing these daydreams away so he could return to his reality. The first column was labeled Thoughts About Remus and the second was labeled Why That Is Irrational. Logan let the thoughts flow freely now, writing down the things his mind had brought up about the near stranger since their first encounter. Remus’ eyes made the list. So did the fact that he’s tall. Logan wasn’t blind despite what his glasses would suggest, and he could admit that Remus was attractive, sort of in a dangerous way. He then went through and rationalized each of those away. Approximately 2% of the population has green eyes, so it isn’t completely impossible he could find someone else attractive with the eye color. It was unlikely, and it was even more unlikely that they would hold that same sort of glint that Remus’ did.

“You’re missing the point of the assignment,” he spoke to himself, continuing on the list.

Lots of people were tall, and even then it wasn’t a requirement to be attractive. Speaking of attractive, Remus wasn’t the first person Logan had thought of as such, so there was strong evidence to suggest he wouldn’t be the last. When Logan did feel he was ready for a relationship he was sure he could find someone else who checked off the required categories who didn’t mess up the bookshop displays. That last thought was more helpful than any of the others. Logan was satisfied with his list, setting the notebook back on the table and picking up his book once more, content now to continue his night of reading where his only concerns were based in the historical fiction he was reading at the moment.

TAGLIST:

@theiwatobiicepic

[princessanneftw]

Surprises - Part 3

Here we are, Part 3! Just to be clear, part 2 is set in 1996, and this one in 1995 and before, if you have doubts about the timeline. Hope you like it!

Edinburgh, 22 December 1995

The city was silent, still sleeping under the misty morning air; not a lot of people were walking around this early, and even less in the harbour area, where the sea made the crisp Scottish air seem even colder; Anne pulled his jacket tighter around her body, Mark beside her, finally reaching the end of the pier, where a solitary bench was occupied by a very familiar person.

“I knew I’d find you here, it’s my favourite spot in the city”.

Peter turned at his mother’s voice, surprised to see her in the company of his father, one coffee cup each and one, he assumed, for him.

“So, you had a hunch about where to find me, but how did you know I was out here in the first place?”

Mark took a sip of his coffee before answering.

“Tim suggested this might happen because of your nervousness, and that we should find you since you tend to brood while you run, mainly because you need to relax but you also hate getting up early: Heavens know who you take after, certainly not us; your great aunt perhaps, never up before midday.”

When he was very young, Peter had marvelled at his parents routine, who woke up at the crack of dawn to go riding before starting their day, no matter the weather or the location; why would anyone want to leave their warm, soft beds to get up and exercise, for that matter why would anyone voluntarily wake up before seven o’clock? He would ask the same thing again and again, and Anne could only chuckle, telling him she didn’t think he’d understand fully.

It was actually his stepfather who’d made things clearer for him; Tim, who couldn’t be present for his debut in the rugby school league and had therefore called him nearly every day, apologizing again and again and promising to practice with him at Christmas, during his 10 days leave.

Both Peter and Tim had told her the story many times she could see the scene as clearly as if she’d been there herself: when he was 15, her son had sustained a small injury while playing rugby at school, nothing serious but enough to take him off the field for a couple weeks; back home for the weekend, he hoped his restlessness would pass, but alas, on Saturday morning he was up at 6 o’clock, wide awake and with nothing remotely fun to do.

  The house was silent, even his mother had mentioned something about sleeping a bit more, after a hectic week of engagements and travels around Britain; trying to be as quiet as possible, he went down the stairs toward the kitchen, only to find that he wasn’t actually the only one awake: Tim was at the stove, making coffee and toasts in a Navy tracksuit, a windbreaker abandoned on a chair.

“Good morning Peter” he called, without turning.

“How did you know it was me without even looking, who are you, Spiderman?”

“Don’t be absurd Peter, you know very well that I’m the Goblin, all green eyes and crooked smile. Anyway, your footsteps gave you away.”

“And you can recognize the footsteps of all the people in your life?”

“Only of those I care about. If it’s any consolation, my brother thinks the Navy trained me to be a super soldier and still freaks out every time I do this; toast?

“Yes, please.” He took butter and jam from the fridge while his stepfather put the toasts on a plate and sat before him, the two of them eating in silence for a few minutes, until Peter cleared his throat.

“Mum still sleeping?”

“Yes, she tried to get up for her usual ride, but she was too tired; it was a stressful week for her, I’m glad she’s resting.”

“And why are you up so early, did she ask you to take her horse for a trot?”

“I leave the riding to you, brave soldiers. I wanted to go for a run, see a few repairs that had to be made in the estate, just let out some steam. Work schedule was so busy I couldn’t go for a single jog this week.”

“Is this why my parents go riding at dawn every morning, to let out steam? I don’t get the appeal.”

The pensive look in the boy’s eyes and the nervous movement of his legs told Tim enough; with his best captain voice, he addressed the still eating teen.

“Come on, put on a tracksuit, you’re coming with me; we’ll just jog, so you don’t hurt your arm; you have two minutes, go.”  

Peter laughed before seeing the very serious expression on his stepfather’s face; oh well, it wasn’t as if he had anything else to do.

They came back nearly two hours later, in time to have a full breakfast with Anne and Zara: Peter was exhausted and relaxed at the same time, drenched in sweat and mud and smiling like an idiot; trying to kiss Zara earned him a shove and a “Gross, go take a shower you dork”, after which he proceeded out of the kitchen, mouthing a “thank you” in Tim’s direction.

  Anne watched him daydream for a few seconds, a soft smile on her face and her hand caressing his hair, until he snapped back to reality and drank his coffee, quite forgotten until then.

“What were you thinking about?”

“That first morning Tim took me jogging; I don’t know if I was more intimidated by his captain voice, or by his Jedi-like ability to identify my footsteps.”

“I told you before, if I’m a fantasy character than I’m definitely the Green Goblin.”

The bench occupants froze at the sudden voice; Peter jumped up and turned around, and Anne followed him, not believing her own eyes, for Tim was there, hands in his pocket, jeans and Navy windbreaker, with a crooked smile on his face and a Scotland scarf around his neck.

“We had a technical problem and had to stop just outside of Edinburgh, and in exchange of taking his night shift I left my second-in-command in control; I’m sorry it took me this long, or I would have come running with you.”

By then Peter had reached him and engulfed him in a bear hug, revelling in the presence of the quiet, loyal man he had come to love, and that had gone to incredible lengths just to see him play in his favourite team; Tim was holding him just as tight, only removing one arm to shake hands with Mark, before settling his eyes on her; he disentangled himself just long enough to greet her with a chaste peck on her lips, before looking back at Peter, rubbing his hands with a smirk.

“So, ready to kick some French derrieres?”

Laughing, Peter took Tim and Mark under his arms and started walking, discussing tactics and statistics; Anne smiled, sighing happily, before following her dysfunctional, perfect family towards the waking city.

* * *

That was super adorable ☺️☺️

I like how you focused a fic to both of his stepchildren, and both of them were really sweet to read. The idea of Tim playing rugby with Peter is both funny and cute.

Thanks so much for sending these to me anon, and keep writing!

[citadelsushi]

Perimeter Check

F!Shep x Kaidan Alenko

Seventeen hours. Seventeen excruciating hours inside the mako, it’s normally roomy interior now a cramped prison from which Kaidan couldn’t escape. Outside, subzero winds howled. Ice grated against the vehicle’s metal exterior so viciously it sounded like a pack of varren trying to claw their way in. Action wasn’t an option. Sleep was no longer an option. Kaidan groaned in frustration, pressed the heel of his palms against his brow, his eyes squeezed shut and jaw clenched. Trapped in his armor, inside the mako, he felt as if he were about to crawl out of his own skin.

“Commander Shepard left to check the perimeter.” 

Liara’s voice, regardless of her ethereal tone, shocked Kaidan into a seated position, his arms thrust behind him for support. The asari had joined their crew too recently for her to be familiar, and she was so quiet, so reserved in her actions, Kaidan had nearly forgotten she was with them.

Kaidan shifted his view toward Liara, who sat in the passenger seat. Data pad in hand, she appeared to be completely at ease with their situation. “How long has she been out?”

Liara set her datapad on her lap and turned over her shoulder to return his gaze. “Three hours, seven minutes.”

“Three hours?” He jerked upright. He had been asleep longer than he thought.

Liara nodded. “Galactic standard time.”

Worry flooded his abdomen. Their perimeter was small, only as wide as the stretch of road they dared traverse and three times as long as the mako. Checking the entire area, even four times over and at a leisurely pace, would only have taken the commander an hour. 

“I’m going to find her.” 

Kaidan leaned forward and grabbed his helmet as he stood, bouncing against the driver’s seat as he slipped through to the back of the vehicle. 

“Lieutenant,” her voice gave him pause, "the Commander instructed us to stay inside.”

Kaidan’s hand hovered over the door controls as he looked back. "So stay inside.”

His words cut harsher than intended, the belittling tone of which set her cheeks aflame with shades of lilac before her attention fell back to the datapad. Kaidan felt a twinge of remorse, but pushed it aside. Decisively, he palmed the control and jumped into darkness.

Immediately, his suit began to compensate for the freezing temperatures outside. Wind whipped across his armor and, for a second, he leaned into it until his suit's stabilization righted him. Pistol raised in front of him, lighted scope on, Kaidan scanned the surrounding area. Snow fell so thick the light only served to blind him further in the flurry. At the top right of his visor, a digital readout warned him of the temperature, and the fact that he had only five hours until he would begin to feel the cold despite his armor. Kaidan muttered a curse under his breath and lowered his weapon, flicking the light off and peering into the black of night. It wouldn’t be long before Shepard’s own armor weakened to the cold. 

Shepard always started her checks at the North-East boundary. Without light, it would be impossible to spot signs of struggle or tracks on the frozen earth, especially after three hours of wind and snow had blown over her path. Heading North-East and starting clockwise was his best chance to find her.

As he set off, Kaidan tried his com, but was met with radio silence. And while his helmet suppressed most outside noise, it did nothing to silence the thoughts roaring to life in his mind. How had he managed to sleep so long? To miss the sounds of Shepard leaving their shelter? Why hadn’t she informed him of her exit? Shepard always had a reason for breaking protocol, but this particular breech seemed reckless. They were in enemy territory, their communication with Normandy blocked, and harboring an archaeologist who had only just learned to hold a pistol. Liara hadn’t even thought to wake him. If Shepard was injured, they might have already wasted too much time. 

Kaidan’s only solace came from the horrendous weather that both trapped and sheltered them. No one, organic or synthetic, would dare travel through the Aleutsk Valley during this storm. Shepard had managed to navigate the winding road two-thirds of the way to Peak 15 before the storm brewing on the mountains fell into the valley, announcing itself with booms of thunder loud enough to shake him, even from within the mako. Clouds blackened the sky as snow began to fall, thick and heavy and quick to freeze once it touched down. Lightning cracked overhead, illuminating the blizzard in ghoulish purple flashes. Within minutes, it had become too dangerous, the threat of the abrupt edge swallowing them whole too great, to continue. To Shepard’s immense displeasure, they had no choice but to stop until the weather passed. 

Now, the worst of the storm seemed to have passed. Thunder continued to grumble overhead and lighting crawled across the sky, but it was lazy in comparison to the violence displayed earlier. Still, visibility remained too poor for them to move out, so Kaidan was inclined to believe that enemy forces wouldn’t be bold enough to travel this far from Peak 15. If he was correct in his assumption, exposure presented the largest threat to Shepard. And the clock was ticking.

As he approached the edge of their perimeter, a dense shadow appeared 20 meters in front of him. It was barely distinguishable from those cast by the massive ice wall into which the road had been carved, but he knew immediately: the lump on the ground was Shepard. Ice filled his veins so quickly he had half a mind to check his armor’s seals. 

Instead, Kaidan started to run.

“Commander?” He called, fear plain in his voice.

“Alenko?” She answered. “What the hell are you doing out here?”

Kaidan slowed to a walk, then a halt as he reached her feet.  His brows pinched together at the confusion in her voice, combined with confusion of his own. She didn’t sound weakened or distressed, not injured in the slightest. Rather, she sounded offended by his presence. 

“Coming to find you.” He started. “I was worr - Liara said you have been out here for hours.”

“Did she also tell you I instructed you to stay in the mako? Since when do you not follow orders?”

“All due respect, ma’am, that order was given to Liara, not to me.”

Over his com, he heard Shepard sigh, the sound so close to his ear he could almost feel the warmth of her breath. He found himself wishing he could, almost as badly as he wished he could see her face in that moment. In his imagination, she gazed up at him bemused, a weary smile threatening to bloom. 

“Fair enough.”

She was the only Commander he’d ever known to find amusement in her crew kicking some shit her way. 

“Shepard, what are you doing out here?”

Her head fall back to rest against the wall of ice behind her. Truthfully, Shepard didn’t know why she was still outside. She had checked the perimeter five times before she came to rest. If the geth could reach them, the synthetics would have blown them apart by now. Nothing was moving in this weather. Once she had sat down, standing up again didn’t seem worth the effort. Not when the only alternative was to return to the mako.

“I needed some air.” Ice crunched as her head lifted. “You should go back inside.”

Overhead, lightning creeped across clouds and allowed Kaidan to briefly see Shepard, legs splayed out in front of her and arms hanging to the side as if gravity pulled more heavily on her, held her captive. He realized, rather wistfully, that he had never seen her just sit as she was now. She almost looked human.

“If it’s alright with you, I could use some air myself.”

Shepard pursed her lips as she considered the request. She didn’t trust Liara, or leaving her alone in the mako for long. Hell, she had been hesitant to leave a dozing Kaidan alone with her. Though she held something in her mind the asari wanted, there was no telling how long the promise of the cipher would keep her loyal. At least, Shepard hoped, until they were finished dealing with Matriarch Benezia.

For now, however, she had to admit she was glad to see Kaidan. Inaction drove her insane, gave her too much time to think, to plan, to imagine all the ways that plan could fail. Kaidan was, as usual, a welcome distraction. 

“Well then, pop a squat, Alenko.” She patted the ground beside her.

Kaidan was happy to follow orders and he settled in next to Shepard, his knees bent and arms crossed atop his knees. “Ya know, Shepard, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you sit still this long.”

“Yeah,” she snorted in agreement, “it’s a good thing we’re headed into a fuckload of geth because I’m losing it.”

Kaidan breathed a laugh and, wearing a smile, he fell quiet. Remarkably, so did Shepard. They sat together, their heads turned up at the sky and watching as lightning continued to dance across the clouds. Snow collected on their armor, glittering purple and black beneath the storm. It was a comfortable silence. And a rare one. Too often their time together was spent discussing the mission, the crew, all the reasons they couldn’t talk about more than work. Moments like this were often stolen away in the cargo hold, punctuated with clangs of iron as they pretended not to watch the other exercise in Shepard’s makeshift gym. Or in the mess hall, just after, as they replenished their bodies while the rest of the crew only just started to stir. A chance like this, away from Alliance eyes, would not come again soon. Kaidan closed his eyes and drank it in.

It was Shepard who broke the quiet, shifted her seat and brushed off the blanket of snow from her legs. “Do you think we can trust Liara?”

A pause. Kaidan fruitlessly scanned darkness for her expression. “I don’t think she’d lead us into a trap.”

“No,” she agreed, “if anything, we’re the ones leading her into one.” She shifted, bringing one leg underneath her so that she was facing him. Her knee was so close to him now that they almost touched. “Are you prepared to take her out, if we need to?”

Kaidan shrunk away from the question. It wasn’t that he hadn’t thought about that possibility before. He had. Liara spoke of the Matriarch more as a memory than a mother, but there was still love there. There was loss too, the immediate threat of which could bring about an unknown side of Liara. But when Kaidan thought about their impending meeting, his mind never wandered to whether or not they would have to kill one of their own. Regardless of how long she had been on board, Liara was part of the Normandy now.

Shepard sensed his reluctance. She didn’t blame him. Kaidan was a soldier, through and through, and a damn good one. He was everything the Alliance said they wanted. But she was everything the Alliance said they condemn, everything they wanted to sweep under the rug but desperately needed. He was rational thought, she was rash decisions and action. He thought about possibilities, she thought about death.

“Kaidan, there’s a lot of ways this can end really shitty and very few ways it ends neatly. If Benezia can’t be reasoned with, if I have to kill her, what do you think Liara is going to do?”

Lightning crackled ominously overhead, illuminated them briefly. It was only a few milliseconds, too short for a full breath, but enough. Kaidan caught a glimpse of Shepard behind her helmet. Vulnerability contorted her expression into one of great concern, one he had never seen her wear. It felt wrong, seeing her like that when she hadn’t intended it, like he had walked in on her naked. However, in this instance, he decided it was crucial that he did not look away.

“If Benezia won’t surrender,” Kaidan fought not to reach out for her as he spoke, “Liara will understand. This is bigger than her. She knows that.” Shepard offered the smallest of nods, accepting what he said as true. He lightened his tone, “Besides, she’s not exactly dangerous.”

Shepard chuckled at that. Liara’s stasis and barrier were impressive, but she had yet to see the asari provide any sort of offensive support. The thought vanished as soon as it appeared and she reminded herself sternly, just because Liara hasn’t shown that side of herself yet doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.

She opened her mouth to say as much to Kaidan, then clamped down on it. For once, she had the forethought to not completely ruin the moment. 

“But if she is?” Shepard didn’t give him a chance to answer. She abruptly rose to her feet, turned to face him and extended a hand. “Come on. We should get back.”

Kaidan gripped her hand and let her help him to his feet. He kept her gloved hand clasped in his as she tried to turn away, which earned him a look he could only see in his mind’s eye. A look had seen so frequently lately that he could see it perfectly. A blend of apprehension and daring, desire held back by a code of honor. A flash of loathing aimed at the invisible wall keeping them apart. He wore it often himself.

He couldn’t promise her that everything would work out. Such platitudes would do nothing for her, anyway. He couldn’t reach out and hold her like he so desperately wanted, like he hoped she wanted too. Nor could he tell her any of this. So, he squeezed her hand.

Shepard looked down at their joined hands, a small smile coming to life. Behind her helmet, in the dark, she didn’t have to suppress it. Out in the snow, alone, she didn’t have to shy away from a gesture. She looked back at him and returned the squeeze, firmly, leaving no room for misinterpretation. 

Her smile remained until they reached the mako.

[knivestothroats]

Part 6

List of Episodes

This one is pretty tame. Mostly dealing with how people are treating Ace now that they have free range of the base again.

~~ 

Ace walked through the doors of the infirmary and stopped dead. Luke was sitting on one of the beds, next to another man Ace didn’t recognize. In reality, they had seen this man with Luke before, the first time Matty had pointed him out, but Ace hadn’t really been paying attention to anyone else.

Ace’s mind raced. Should they pretend they didn’t know him? They didn’t want Luke to think they remembered anything from their time under Miranda’s control. They knew who Luke was, but only because they had been told about him by others. That felt weird to say, but they didn’t want to lie, and–

“Hey, Ace,” Luke said. “Do you remember me?”

Remember you? Only from seeing you around the base. Not that I was watching you…

“N-no,” Ace said. “But… one of my friends told me…” That we’ve met? “Who you are. Um…” Ace felt like they should apologize, but honestly they had no idea if they had done anything to apologize for. Surely they had, but they had no idea what. Maybe just, sorry for what happened to you? Too detached. Sorry you got dragged into this? Sorry..?

Dr. Greene walked in before they could decide how to continue.

“Dr. Rosenthal isn’t in today,” He said, skipping the formalities. “You’ll have to come back later to do your check up with me.”

Ugh.

“Why do I have to come back later? I’m here now,” Ace said.

“I’m with another patient, and you can’t be in the room.”

Luke looked like he was going to speak up, but Ace beat him to it.

“You didn’t mind me being in the room when you kept me in a hospital bed for three days.” Ace pointed out, folding their arms. There wasn’t really a point in arguing, but they had to get their digs in where they could. “Whatever. When do I have to come back?”

Dr. Greene checked his watch and said, “Give it an hour.”

“’Kay,” Ace said, turning on their heel toward the door. “Looking forward to it.”

They hadn’t gotten very far down the hall before they heard a voice call out to them. Ace turned around to see Luke’s friend jogging up.

“You should stay away from Luke,” he said when he reached them.

Ace felt their chest tighten. “I didn’t know he was in there.”

“He needs space to heal, away from the people that hurt him,” the friend said.

I hurt him?

“He sees you as like…” the man struggled to find the right words. “Like, like a friend or something. It’s probably something he had to do to survive in there. He needs time in a safe place so he can recognize that what you did to him is bad.”

“What–” Ace stopped themselves before asking what did I do to him?

“I get that it wasn’t you,” the friend continued. “But… it was, physically, you. And I don’t think it’d be good for him to be around you until he’s had time to recover.”

“Okay, well,” Ace couldn’t help but feel defensive. They folded their arms across their chest and glanced away. “It’s not exactly like I’m blowing up his phone.”

“I know,” said Luke’s friend, sounding defensive now too. “I’m just… being preemptive. I think he might try to reach out to you.”

Ace didn’t know how to take that information. Was that a bad thing? Luke was the only person who knew what happened during Ace’s missing time. And if he wanted to reach out to Ace… it couldn’t be that bad, right? Wouldn’t he know better than others if he should stay away from Ace? Or was it like his friend said; some kind of defense mechanism he needed to overcome? Like Stockholm syndrome? Dr. Greene seemed to think so too, and, despite whatever feelings he and Ace had for each other, he was a doctor.

Not a psychiatrist, though.

“Well, if that’s what you think is best,” Ace managed, “I’ll make myself scarce.”

“Thank you,” the friend said. He turned away and walked back to the infirmary.

--

Matty was in some sort of debriefing, so Ace had to walk the halls alone. The weather had taken a turn for the worse, so Ace was stuck eating in the cafeteria. They picked an empty table, and sat with their back to the rest of the room. It felt like, if they turned around to look, everyone would be staring at them. Ace tried to ignore the paranoia. Under the table, they pulled a folding knife out of their pocket. It was spring loaded, and was designed to be open with one hand. Closing it with one hand was trickier, and Ace occupied themselves by practicing doing just that. Flick open, press the release, push the flat side against their leg, close the knife. Repeat.

They were starting to relax when they suddenly felt something thunk against the back of their skull. Hand to their head, they looked down to see an apple, smashed, where it had landed on the floor. They could hear snickers and murmurs behind their back.

Don’t look. You won’t be able to tell who threw it, they told themselves. And if even if you did, you can’t fight them. You have to prove that you’re not a threat. Everyone just needs a target to take their grief out on. Let that be you for a while. Let it play out.  

Ace regretted not just taking their lunch back to their room to eat there, but they couldn’t bail out now. Not yet.

Don’t let them see you tuck tail and run. Just finish your food, and then you can go.

Ace ate what they could stomach, remained for what they hoped was an appropriate amount of time to let eyes slide off them, and then made their retreat. Once in the relative safety of the corridors, they checked the time. They could afford 10 or 15 minutes of hiding in their room before they had to go back to the infirmary for their check-up.

As they were heading back to the dorms, wondering what the hell even constitutes as a “check-up” in this situation, somebody shoved them hard into the wall.

Ace spun around to face their assailant, rage boiling their blood. Three other agents huddled around them.

“Careful,” one of them said. “They’ve been known to kill their own team.”

The heat from Ace’s anger turned to cold dread.

The one in front, Tate, got in their face. “You shouldn’t be allowed to walk free around here.” He shoved them again.

It wasn’t that Ace was outnumbered that concerned them. Sure, everyone here had been trained, but Ace was one of the best agents, and everybody knew it. The problem was, Ace knew what would happen if they hurt fellow agents. They knew what people would think.

They can’t be trusted; they’re still rabid.

“Well?” Tate prompted. “You got anything to say for yourself? Or did you ‘forget’ how to speak, too?” he put air quotes around forget, as if Ace was lying about their lost time.

Ace, never one to walk away from a fight, was running scenarios in their head on how best to get out of this situation – without losing their dignity, freedom, or teeth – when Matty rounded the corner.

His surprised smile from running into Ace without having to track them down was only briefly present on his face, quickly erased when he surveyed the scene.

“Hey,” he said easily. “What’s going on?”

Tate gave a smile. “We just wanted to see how Ace is feeling these days.”

He put his hand on Ace’s shoulder and gave it a fake-friendly squeeze. Ace clenched their jaw and fought against feelings of revulsion.

The trio walked away and Matty turned to Ace.

“What was that?” he asked.

“Nothing,” Ace grumbled. To Matty’s concerned and unconvinced look, they added, “You know I could handle myself if there was a problem.”

“Yeah,” Matty relented uneasily. “That’s true. Uh, how did you check-up go?”

“Ugh, Dr. Rosenthal wasn’t there, so I have to go back and do it with Dr. Greene.”

“Oh, that sucks. Do you want me to come with you?”

Ace rubbed their shoulder absently. “It’s whatever, you can if you want. Luke’s friend was there with him, but Dr. Greene might change the rules for me.”

“You saw Luke?” Matty asked.

Ace immediately felt like they had been caught doing something wrong. “Uh, briefly.”

“Did you get to talk to him?”

“Not really,” Ace said.

“Well, he probably knows more than anyone what happened during that time. You know, when you’re ready to hear about it,” Matty said.

Ace rubbed the back of their head, and then tugged on their overgrown hair. “Everyone’s telling me I should stay away from him,” they muttered.

Matty’s eyebrows pulled together. “Like who?”

“Uh, Dr. Greene and Luke’s friend. They said he needs time to recover from… me, I guess.”

Matty thought for a moment. “Did Luke seem scared when you saw each other?”

“No. I don’t know. I don’t think so. He asked if I remembered him. That’s about it.” Ace sighed. “His friend said he, like, thinks of me as a friend, but I… hurt him. I guess. I don’t – I don’t know what I did, obviously. So. How, uh, how was your debriefing?”

“Oh, uh,” Matty shifted uncomfortably. “I’m, uh… Brooks is sending me on an assignment. With Jess and Nadia.”

Ace nodded slowly. “Well, Jess and Nadia combined are almost as good as having me there,” they joked. “Uh, when..?”

“Tomorrow,” Matty said. “It’s gonna be a few days.”

“Okay. Well…” Ace looked at their watch. “I gotta head to the infirmary.”

“Yeah, I’ll come with you,” Matty said.

They walked in silence for a moment before Matty said, “You know, if you didn’t want to beat those guys up yourself, I could do it. Or I can get Jess and Nadia to help me as a sort of pre-mission team bonding exercise.”

Ace laughed. “Let’s hold off,” they said. “I might need to ask you to jump Dr. Greene instead, depending on how this check-up goes.”

[continues here]

[obediencegolden15]

The Story of Us

In memory of Maddie ~ 1/22/2004 - 1/1/2020

“If there ever comes a day where we can’t be together, keep me in your heart, I’ll stay there forever.” -Winnie The Pooh

Sixteen years. Well, if you want to get technical, it was actually 15 years, 11 months, and one week.

To some that seems like a blip on the radar and in all reality, it is a short amount of time, but there were a ton of memories packed into that time. Time is a funny thing, you see, we keep track of seconds, minutes, and hours--but our dogs have no concept of time. They’re more present than we’ll ever be as humans. 

They say that diamonds are a girl's best friend, but I’ve never really been about diamonds. All you had to do was look at who was next to me and know that Maddie was my best friend. A confidant. Teacher. But most importantly, a cherished member of the family. I don’t know of any being on this planet that knows every tear and every secret there ever was to know, than Maddie. Before I continue, I think we should start at the beginning of our story. 

When I was 11 years old, we had finally gotten our first dog as a family. It was something I had always wanted growing up. My sister and I had our Mom convinced, but we had to get our Dad on board. Finally, he agreed.

During that time, I was in 4-H and knew I wanted to train Maddie and show at the county fair. Not only did we do that, but we did so much more. At that time, I had no idea that God had given me the passion to train and form a connection with a different species. The world of training and competing at local, regional, and national dog show events was opened to me after some of my mentors noticed my love of training and working with Maddie.

Once I learned about dog competitions, I was hooked. While an entire book could be written about our experiences and travels to dog shows, those memories will always be locked away deep in my heart. While the competitions were a blast, the titles, ribbons, and accomplishments mean so little in the grand scheme of things. I would love to write about those experiences, but as I’ve gotten older, it has made me realize what’s important in life. The ribbons, trophies, and prizes will always be visible, but a special dog will not always be here forever. The miles driven, the hours training, the early mornings at the show, and the laughter with friends are the greatest parts about dog shows. 

I often wonder if God knew I needed an Earthly companion such as Maddie to get me through those teenage years when I was bullied in school. There would be times after school where I would come home and sit and cry with Maddie. She had no judgement, all she had was her love. Sometimes I wonder if He hand-picked her to be in my life for over half of my 27 years thus far, knowing that we’d go on so many adventures, meet an abundance of people whom I call my dear friends to this day, and open so many doors for me. While it might be crazy to think a dog could do this for one person, but I believe God has done all of this for me. I might have had some basketball dreams that went unfulfilled, but now I can see why those dreams didn’t happen. Because this was supposed to happen. Maddie was supposed to happen. The people, places, and faces were supposed to happen. 

At times I wonder where my life would be today if it wasn’t for Maddie being placed in my life. Would I even have dogs? Would I have went to the University I went to? Would I work where I work now? What type of hobbies would I have if I had never learned about dog shows? A lot of these questions can’t be answered and may never be answered. But one day they will be.

To know Maddie was to love Maddie. I don’t think I ever remember a day where she wasn’t joyous about life or full of zest to see new people. Whether it was basking in the sun in the dining room of our childhood home, laying in the grass in the sun soaking in the rays, or finding a spot of grass or snow to roll in and then lay there afterwards being fully present. Maddie was a very social dog and could walk up to anyone and greet them with a hello and a friendly wag of her tail. I fully believe she came into my life with a purpose to teach me several lessons that I wouldn’t have learned elsewhere. 

My first two years at college went by in a blur, but I had always missed Maddie. To me, she was a constant in my life, even when times were difficult and it felt like the rest of the world walked out on me. Luckily, my last two years Maddie was able to come to college with me and was the 6th roommate to the girls I had lived with during that time. I think she provided comfort for all of them when classes were stressful. Even in school, we went and trained every week at a local training school, which brought more people into our life. This became a very important outlet for me to not focus on the stress of school so much, but be able to tune it out for a bit and focus on something I loved. During my second semester of my Junior year, I experienced some health issues for several months, not knowing the true cause, but Maddie was there for me again. She was the reason I got up, got outside, and still trained with her, even if I wasn’t feeling good. Sometimes she was even a study buddy who would curl up next to me on the floor and fall asleep while I studied for exams and wrote papers. 

After I graduated college, Maddie and I moved to Green Bay (she actually was born in Green Bay), where I would begin my career. The best part of the job I started was that I was able to bring her to work with me, where she received lots of petting and snacks. I think this was the highlight of her day! From here we started a different and new life adventure together. Every transition I faced, we faced it together. You were such a trooper and for that I’m thankful. 

So Maddie, thank you for being the very best teacher a girl could ask for. Thank you for teaching me how to love. Some days I had to put your needs above my own, but it was all out of love. Love is always a choice we make every day, but with her she never had to choose, she just did. Thank you for teaching me how to be selfless, especially in your older years. Thank you for being that constant in my life and my best friend. No matter how many storms we weathered, we weathered them together. Thank you for your goofy ‘happy dances’, sun bathing, nose nudges, hiking buddy, the paw you’d give while someone was petting you, the special quiet moments we shared, and so much more. 

Saying goodbye was the hardest thing I ever had to decide for you and while I wasn’t ready to say goodbye, I felt I had to honor you in the best way possible. You had been there for me through everything and I didn’t think it was fair for you to be suffering. I hope you know that my choice was only out of love and it was the least I could do after all of the things you have done for me. While my life will never be the same without you in it, it will be different, a new different. The house certainly isn’t the same without you and it will take me a bit of time to get used to the new normal, but please know I miss you every single day and would give anything to have you back. Your presence is sorely missed, as are your shenanigans. The hole in my heart will eventually heal, but I know that one day we will see each other again -- filled with no pain or sorrow. Please know that I will always love you and you forever hold a very special place in my heart. You can never be replaced or forgotten. You may be gone from my life, but the memories and the journey we shared was special. Thank you doesn’t seem like it’s enough for your unconditional love and while I’m only human and made mistakes, you still forgave me. I thank God everyday for you and to Him all the glory!

Life may be different and take some time to adjust, I know that Maddie is with me wherever I go. I will always love each and every dog I own, but Maddie will always hold a special place in my heart. She has been there through every major life transition. From growing up, graduating high school, spending two years with my roommates and I at college, to starting my first real job in a new city, and also my first home. When you look at all of that, it’s a lot. Way more than most people can ever expect to have with their dogs. For that I am so grateful. As they say in obedience competitions, exercise finished, Maddie dog, exercise finished. 

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

👑🏰🐲🐲⚔️ DMODT 81 full

Eren was literally buried in paperwork. Seeing Marley couldn't physically come to castle to murder him, they seemed to be attempting to murder him with the sheer volume of paperwork that had been shipped over to the castle. With the sunroom too small for both he and Armin to work in, Eren was working out of the royal library leaving Levi to split his time between both of them, a solution that required multiple kisses for bribery. Though the problem would be solved if Armin would simply work from the royal library like he was, but then there was the risk of mixing of their papers up and Eren already had to make duplicates of everything to be sent to Europe to be checked over. Not that they replied especially fast. He'd sent a letter asking for permission to marry Levi, then had to wait a fortnight for a reply that stated they were discussing the issue. What was there to discuss? Literally everyone knew he was bonded to Levi. Marriage was only two pretty fancy rings and the right to boss Levi around on a legal level. He wanted to hurry up and marry his mate before Levi left him over the fact he was having more of a relationship with his paperwork than with his alpha. Viren had his own cot set up in the corner of the room now, while Luca preferred to follow Levi between him and Armin, his son appreciating the freedom that being home brought. Hearing the library door creak open, Eren pushed his papers aside. Lunch times were now his favourite time of day. Much like when he'd been researching how to untether himself from Levi, Levi would bring him food and dote over him. The main difference now was that the alpha didn't shy away from whatever he was feeling, and Erwin wasn't ushering him out the door to do paperwork of his own. Carrying the loaded lunch tray over to the desk, his mate showed off his dexterity as he picked his way through the countless boxes in the room, to where Eren had set up in the far corner of the table space. He'd hoped to work himself out of the mess by now, yet Marley was a complete mess. After the first week he'd simply accepted that he'd never reach the end of everything by the end of his 6 month prison sentence "Have you taken a break since this morning?" Placing the tray down, Levi dropped a kiss on his head "Yes. Twice. Your son was hungry, then we cuddled while we worked. Then he spat up in my hair and now he's taking a nap" "Sounds fun. If I stayed down here..." "I would never get anything done" "It doesn't look like you've gotten anything done as it is" Slumping back in the chair, Eren's head lolled back. He couldn't help but smile as his eyes met Levi's "We both know that's not true. You're the one who told me Armin was cursing my name over using the all messenger eagles" "Pigeons are too slow" "His correspondence doesn't have to go to Europe" "I know. What are we working on today?" "Land rights again. If Marley is going to have a government with its own tribunal system, I'm trying to find suitable members from the countries and regions that originally made up the area is occupies now, so that everyone can have a voice" "That sounds like a pile of shit" "It is. They really didn't appreciate the work of a good cartographer" "Oh no! Whatever shall you do?" "I don't know. Give up? Let myself be lost and buried in here forever" "I've got a few choice words to say about that" "I am not surprised in the least. Can you stay for lunch?" "I can stay all afternoon. Mikasa is making Armin train, and with the weather being reasonable, Luca thinks it play time" "Has he been behaving?" "He climbed up into Armin's lap and didn't want to leave, if that counts as behaving" "That's my boy. Do you want to get Viren for me? I'll move the tray over to the table near the lounge. It's easier to feed there" "So bossy" Levi a small pressed a kiss to his lips "You love it" "I do" Moving to the tiny lounge area, Eren settled down to feed Viren with his back against Levi's chest, the alpha's arms loosely wrapped around his waist as the both took a moment to enjoy not looking at piles of papers "What else is happening upstairs?" "Nothing. Not much went ahead while we were away, but you already know that. Armin's sent Petra and her squad to triple check the grounds for the new orphanage, to make sure it's completely shrapnel and bomb free before work begins. That's about all at the moment" "That's good. I'm happy almost all the city wide repairs are done and the contractors paid. I haven't seen all the bills from Marley, and I'm finding everything but what I'm looking for" Eren was reluctant to use magic in case he damaged anything he'd need in the future. It was long and tedious doing things by hand, and he was really regretting the fact he cared at all "More papers for the pile?" "Yes and no... like I said, I've been doing the whole land thing" "You don't need to hide it from me" "I know I don't. I'm not ready to deal with them. It's stupid, but every time I see Zeke's name on something I wonder if he ever really knew about it, or if it was Dina. I'm not ready to deal with their family dramas. I don't think I want to deal with those kind of things either. My head gets to busy" "You're spiralling" "Who's fault is that?" Shamefully, Levi had walked in on him balling his eyes out when he'd found a news report over Zeke's death. The elation of the first day home had passed once he and Levi woke from their nap. Then reality had reared its ugly head, and he'd kind of been scattered since. Admitting why he was crying to Levi was hard. He knew his mate understood, but it still felt cruel that Zeke had married him so easily and now Levi had to wait. He often worried that the alpha felt like Eren was comparing the two of them. After his small breakdown, they'd set up a system where everything royal family related was stacked in "the pile" "Mine. I'm sorry. I hate seeing you down here like this" "It's not terrible. I have the fireplace, and I have Viren. Plus it helps to do something" "That's because you can't sit still" "If only the leaders at the sanctuary could see their problem child now!" "Yep. A prince and a dragon, who would have thought" "No one. Has Historia replied yet?" "That's right. I forgot to tell you..." Eren shot up, disturbing Viren's feed and causing his son to cry. Sheepishly settling back down, he helped his son latch "She did?" "No. I forgot to tell you she hadn't" "You're a dick" Historia's two eggs still hadn't hatched. Eren was dying for news from her over them. Ymir was still playing the perfect mate, not that Eren doubted she wouldn't take care of Historia and their clutch, he was just impatient for news on the birth of their babies "She promised she'd let you know the moment they did" "I hope they don't hatch while I'm stuck here" "I thought you were ok with being in the castle?" "I am. I really want to meet her children. She wanted it for so long, and she's going to be an incredible mother" "Spoken from one mother to another" "Don't you mean from one princess to another?" "I don't know. I think you've been outclassed. Armin may rival you on demands now that he's gotten the hang of being a prince" "Armin isn't a prince. He's a Drama Queen" "You know you could have made working from sunroom work" "They sent me the last 5 years of papers. 5 years. I'm still finding claims for damages, but no one bothers to put their actual addresses on these things. Hello, yes, I need 900 gold pieces for my room and my name is Greg. Thanks Greg. How the hell am I supposed to allocate you funding when that's all I have, and what kind of roof do you want? You could a new damn house for that" Laughing softly Levi kissed his cheek "I think you're right about Armin being a drama queen" Eren's heart dropped, his scent shifting enough to alert Levi "What is it?" Moving Viren slightly, Eren forced a sigh as let the lie slip off his tongue "My breasts are a little tender, that's all" "Oh. Can I do anything?" "No. This is nice" This wasn't the first time Levi had become confused since they'd returned home. Eren had noticed it twice before, but simply put it down to the fact they were home and had been through so much "You're nice. You smell so good" "Stop sniffing me. You said Armin was training this afternoon, didn't you?" "Yep" "Do you want to take a break with me after we eat? We can play with the boys in the sun?" If Levi was starting to forget, Eren wanted as many moments with him before he did. His mate was a million times more important than paperwork "What about..." "You made think of how nice the sun would be. We should take Luca's ball down for him" "I'm not going to say no to skipping work" "Good. Viren should be done with his feed soon" Having eaten lunch, and dropped by their quarters to pick Luca's ball up, they were now down on the castle's training oval. It looked to Eren like training had gone out the window as Mikasa and Armin chased Luca around. A sword in their son's mouth that seemed to belong to Armin. Catching sight of his parents, Luca came barrelling towards them, dropping the blade at Levi's feet before darting behind Eren "Oh thank god! Armin dropped his sword and Luca was off with it before we could stop him" Poking his head around Eren's legs, his son blinked innocently up at Mikasa, the female alpha red faced as she slowed to a jog "I didn't drop my sword. You knocked it out of my hands" "The whole purpose of the exercise is to keep your hold on the sword" Shooting Levi a glare, Armin moved to snatch up his training blade "I'm well aware of that. What brings you all down here?" Throwing the ball for Luca, Luca ran happily after it "Levi said it was nice outside, and those papers only seem to be multiplying" "You're blowing off work?" To spend time with his family.... not that he was going to say as much "I'm taking a break to play with my son. How long were you chasing him around for?" "A good 15 minutes" Snorting at how drenched in sweat Armin was, his friend looked as if he'd spent all day chasing Luca "Don't give me that. You try chasing after him" Eren raised an eyebrow. He'd spent the most time with Luca out of all of them. He was well aware how cheeky his son was "I'm his mother. I know how fast he can be" "Does that mean you're going to be watching him so Armin can train?" "Yeah. Though, you could swap out, Mikasa and let Levi practice with Armin. If he's always training with you, he'll grow too use to the way you move" "Oi, brat. I thought I was here to watch the baby?" "Mikasa can watch Viren. She deserves a break after chasing Viren" "What about my break?" Nudging Levi with his elbow, Eren teased him gently "Is this your way of saying you're getting too old" "Fuck off. Mikasa, hold the baby. Armin, we're doing hand to hand" Armin gulped visibly. His face paling "Eren! No..." "You'll be fine. Just go gentle on him" "Who? Me or Levi?" "I'll leave that to you two, to figure out" Shifting into his dragon form, Luca came running over to him with his precious ball. The other one was still stashed away, and they were both amazed the first one had lasted this long. Bopping his son on the head affectionately, Luca bit at his toe, growling and tugging as he tried to wiggle backwards out of his hold. Releasing him suddenly, Luca let out a squeak as he rolled over backwards, blinking in confusion over what the hell had suddenly happened. Nudging at the ball with his nose, Eren sent it rolling, walking after it as Luca jumped up to keep his precious ball from his mother. * Levi knew he'd said it a hundred times, but dragons were idiots. Giant cat like idiots. Eren was barrelling around recklessly as he chased Luca and the ball around, Luca having the advantage with his smaller size. Armin's hand to hand training interrupted when his son dribbled the ball over to him, wanting him to play. This resulted in Armin and Levi, versus Luca, versus Eren in a game that he didn't know quite how to explain. It was like soccer with no goals and no clear rules. The aim was to get the ball, and that was it. On the sidelines Mikasa and her squad watched on, Mikasa waving one of Viren's tiny hands each time Eren claimed the ball. Receiving a pass from Armin, the ground shook as Eren ran towards him, passing back quickly Eren didn't change his course, instead knocking down Levi with his nose, where he gently took Levi's tunic in his mouth, tugging on the fabric "What do you want?" Lowering himself down, Eren titled his head "You want me to climb on your back?" Nodding quickly, Levi picked himself up "Us versus them?" Nodding again, Eren arranged himself for Levi to climb into his saddle, Armin yelling in protest when he realised what was happening. Luca wasn't sure he wanted a team as he sent the ball flying across the grass away from the all. Eren was still reckless, even with Levi settled in his saddle. The pair of them chasing their son down, where Eren started grooming the boy until the trilled angrily as Armin stole the ball again. Kicking it over to Mikasa's squad, horsefaced Jean complained over being roped into it all, yet Sasha and Connie were happy to jump right in. Eventually Jean was won over, with only Mikasa left on the sideline. Spending another half hour or so chasing the ball around, Eren bowed out less than gracefully, suddenly shifting back into his human form with no warning, leaving Levi squashing his mate's back as he dissolved into coughs. Climbing off Eren, Levi dragged him up, his mate smiling despite being crushed by him, and now hacking up a lung "You could have warned me you wanted to shift" Waving him off, Levi ignored it in favour of lifting Eren off his feet and carrying him over to Mikasa and Viren as the others started moving back towards them "What was that?" Tilting his head, Eren gasped out "What was what?" Scowling at him, Mikasa placed her palm on Eren's forehead "Shifting back like that. It was reckless" "It was fun" "You're coughing" "I may have over done it slightly. Worth it" "Over done it slightly? You're the colour of Luca's eyes" Eren was red. But that's what happened when you run around like an idiot "'m fine. Levi's fussing" Pretending to drop his mate, Eren yelped as he clutched at him "Arsehole" "I could have actually dropped you" "Please don't. You can stand me up though" "No. I'm good like this. Was Viren alright?" "I think he might need a nappy change, but he's been pretty happy. Pretty interested in drooling over his own hand" "He does that. He's also become a master at rolling over too" "He's growing up too fast" Levi had no idea how the last four and a half months since Viren's birth had passed so fast and so slowly. Viren wasn't content with simply laying around anymore. When he was laying on Levi's chest he liked to try to meet his gaze. His hands would grab at Levi's chin as he smacked his lips. Levi had the better deal. Eren had been pinched right on the nipple by a wayward hand, his breasts squishy toys beneath the boy's hands "Mmm. I'm not in a rush for another right away, a year or two maybe then we'll try again for another sibling. He's going to be such a handful when he's old enough to walk" Readjusting Eren, he balanced him on his knee as his mate stared up at him waiting for his reply, a hand covering his mouth as he coughed "Mhmm. Once we've got our house" "Yep. We should head on up. This cough isn't settling" "Ok. Mikasa, are you alright to carry Viren?" "I can walk" "You can walk once we're back up at the castle" Because his knees weren't what they used to be. Particularly his right knee, not that he could remember how he'd hurt it. Not that he'd ever admit it "Deal" Viren was screaming by the time they reached their quarters, his nappy less than appealing as Levi took over cleaning up their pup so Eren could take a shower. His mate slightly unsteady on his feet, and pinching the bridge of his nose as if he had a headache, recognising it as dehydration, Levi sent him straight to shower only for his omega to promptly throw up when the warm water hit his skin. Lowering the temperature, he double checked on his love before taking care of Viren. Not wanting Eren to faint and strike his head again. Not after the fun they'd had being stupid on the oval. Once cleaned, Levi settled their pup down on his stomach on their bed, Luca left to watch over him without suggestion or command. The dragon also not minding the small pups cries. Returning to the bathroom, Eren had progressed to washing his hair out. Stripping out of his sweaty clothes, Levi joined his omega, Eren sinking back into his hold as he wrapped his arms around his waist "How are you feeling?" "A little stupid for not realising I'm dehydrated" "We were out in the sun. Viren wasn't burn, but he's still crying" "He's probably hungry again, or annoyed we're back inside. He seems pretty curious about everyone" "I think you're over thinking it. Luca's watching him" Humming, Eren turned in his hold, his fingers moving to Levi's hair to massage his scalp "Luca adores him. Did you have fun?" "Until you shifted and scared the shit out of me" "Sorry. It's easier to cough in my human form" "Your lungs?" "Still a little sore. Throat's itchy too" "I'll prepare the kettle in case we need it" "Thanks. I didn't think everyone was going to join in" "If Sasha and Connie can shirk work, they will" "Jean even joined in" "Reluctantly. Luca seemed happy" "Mmmm. It felt good to play with him like that. We haven't been able to in months" "I'm sure he's sleeping it off" "Is that a hint?" Rolling his eyes, Levi groped Eren's arse "I'm not about to take advantage of you when you're dehydrated" "I feel like you haven't taken advantage of me all that much since we came home" "It's fine. Resting and recovery are more important" Reaching behind him, Eren grabbed the shampoo off the rack "Tell that to my dick" "You're just a horny little shit, so is that dick of yours" "It's been weeks and the most we've done are handjobs. I just want to make sure you're ok" Messy handjobs in the shower were better than no handjobs at all "I don't have any complaints. You should sit" "I'll sit on your dick" Groaning, Levi grabbed the shampoo from his omega "No dick for you. Not until you're recovered and rehydrated" Laughing softly, Eren conceded "You're probably right. My stomach feels like shit" "That's what happens when you throw up" "I still have paperwork to do" "No. You're taking the night off. We're going to rehydrate you, and you're going to think of something other than paperwork" "Our house?" Pouring out a generous amount of shampoo, Levi passed the bottle back to Eren before starting to soap his hair up "We can talk about our house. How many rooms do you want?" "5...? Is five a good number? What do you even have in a house?" "Being in this castle has spoilt you" "Being with you has spoilt me. There's the bathroom, kitchen, dining bit, the boy's bedrooms, our bedroom, and I want a space to grow herbs. What about you?" "A study would be nice... maybe rooms for future pups?" "Mmm. I, uh, you're not mad about what I said are you?" "About waiting? No. I want to have our house built by the time the next one comes" "I'd hope our house was built. I've been thinking about it. I think I want to build it out near the new orphanage" That wasn't in the plans... Eren had wanted a small grove like Hannes had... "The orphanage?" Looking away, Eren untangled himself at Levi's questioning tone "It's silly" "It's only silly if you don't explain it" "I was... thinking that we could help out there. Not all the time, but I can use magic to help with the crops. You can teach the kids to ride horses. I've been thinking about how to design economic hubs in Marley. I want to set up 5 trading hubs in each area, and I want to set up training in each area to promote cross hub trading. I also want to collapse the military ports down to trading ports... and... I was thinking Isabel and Farlan could do trapping and relocations in the area, you know, to make sure everyone there is safe" "You've been making plans" "You're not mad, are you?" "I'm not mad. I wonder what the tribunal will say" "I don't know. They still won't say yes to us being married" Eren was sore over that. Levi thought he'd spend his time planning their wedding, but instead he simply sulked over a lack of answer "I'm still going to marry the fuck out of you, even if it takes a little longer to do so" Mumbling something under his breath, Eren blushed bright red "What was that?" "Nothing..." With soapy fingers, he tickled his mate's sides until Eren took his hands and interlaced their fingers, staying out of range of his fingers "Eren, tell me" "I said "I wanted to get married to you then spend our honeymoon during my heat"" Levi dove in to steal a kiss, Eren blocking him by twisting away "I vomited. It's dirty" "It's not dirty when it's you" Frowning, he was denied a kiss and forced to give up on the idea. He wouldn't look at him until he replied properly "That's one way to spend it. That's a hell of a way to spend it. You're sure you want to spend your heat with me?" The idea of sharing Eren's heat with him was natural, but he didn't know if Eren was mentally up for it "Levi, you're the only one I can spend a heat with. You know my magic goes out of control" "It's not nearly as romantic when you say it like that" "It's what you get for making me repeat myself" Levi had missed something, or Eren wasn't thinking straight. He looked ready to drop as it was "I'm sorry. Why don't you rinse off? I'll be there soon" "Need to brush my teeth first" "Brush your teeth then get your butt to bed" "Yes, mum" God. He was such a brat. * Climbing out of bed, Eren gave up on sleep. Viren hadn't settled well, crying off and on all day, now he'd simply decided that instead of sleep time it was scream time. Eren hadn't had the best nights sleep the previous night thanks to some extremely graphic nightmares. Levi copping a bloodied nose for trying to wake him from his screams. Feeling Levi's hand grabbing the edge of his nightshirt, Eren reassured Levi that he had him and to try to go back to sleep. Things weren't like they'd been in Europe. If he needed sleep, he slept, letting Levi tend to Viren. If Levi was having a bad day, he'd stay up and let his mate sleep. Grabbing Levi's cloak from the wardrobe, he wrapped himself in the thick furs before rushing to collect his baby boy. Dawn was still a few hours away, his intention being to head down to work on the paperwork in the royal library, yet the cause of his son's distress was a soaked nappy. Changing the pup, he offered Viren his breasts, but having been in such a foul mood all day, his son refused to take it, grizzling himself back to sleep Eren was spared the cold walk down to the library though didn't know if he trusted the silence. Two kids and silence usually lead to trouble. No. Two kids and his alpha being silent usually meant trouble. Levi had been working far too hard lately. Armin was lucky enough to have caught up with paper work, where as Eren had only submitted all the claims papers he'd found, as well as his plans for the ports and trade hubs... and had gotten no reply. Levi had basically said "fuck it" to everything. They were a mess for whoever ruled Marley next, and now he was only allowed to focus on fresh mail. Cleaning up the bathroom from changing his pup, the omega ran himself a bath as a treat. His body aching from being back and forth from the cot to the desk all damn day, his head aching from his son's crying, and his breasts tender from Viren not wanting to feed. Soaking for a few hours sounded heavenly. Stripping off his nightshirt, he screamed as he span round to find Levi standing in the doorway. The alpha had his arms crossed as he casually leant against the frame "Don't do that!" "I did nothing. The sound of the water woke me" Throwing his nightshirt at him, Levi caught the thin garment. Eren half wishing he'd left the alpha's cloak on, the impact would have made the man stumble "Why are you running a bath?" "So I can take a bath?" "Did Viren need feeding?" "No. Now my breasts and my head are sore" Huffing, Eren wrapped his arms around his waist as he stared at Levi. They'd established he was taking a bath... so why was he still there "Can I help you?" "I don't know, can you?" "Levi..." "Sit up on the counter for me" He was so close to his bath! Now Levi was making him wait? Mentally sighing, he padded over to the bathroom counter and climbed up, watching Levi as he stripped his own nightshirt off, the alpha casually ignoring his erection as he moved between Eren's legs. Sliding his hands up Eren's sides, goosebumps erupted across his flesh "You said your breasts hurt?" "Mmm. Your son didn't want to feed" "That's a shame" Cupping Eren's breasts, Eren moaned into the touch of his alpha's thumbs against his nipples. Sex had definitely not been on his mind. Now it was all he could think of as Levi's aroused scent flooded from him. Shuffling closer to the edge of the counter, Levi rolled his hips against forward, rubbing his erection against Eren's rising own "Shit. They're heavy" "Full..." Applying his lips to Eren's right nipple, Levi started to suck. Letting his head loll back, Eren wrapped his legs loosely around the alpha's waist whimpering as his milk started to spill, slick starting to run as he rolled his hips into the touch. Drinking deeply, Levi milked his left breast. Milk running down his chest and stomach, pooling between their heated groins. With a light bite, Eren screamed as his back arched, his alpha not appreciating that his nipples already felt tender enough to be filled with glass "D-don't... hurts..." Pulling off, Eren's milk leaked from his released nipple, Levi using is tongue to clean the mess "It hurts?" "They're tender" "How about between your legs, is that tender?" Eren shook his head quickly "Wet... I'm wet..." "Let me see" Laying back on the counter, Eren dropped his knees apart. The smell of slick fighting the scent of Levi's arousal for dominance in the space. Without prepping him, Levi pushed two fingers into Eren's slick opening, Eren gasping as he grasped Levi's wrist "Fuck..." "Feels good?" "Warning would be nice..." "I'm going to finger you while I jerk your off, then I'm going to knot you" Pushing his fingers deeper, Levi knew exactly where his sweet spot was. Rubbing and working his fingers against his prostate, his mate jerked him hard and fast. He felt far to exposed sprawled out like he was, the sounds wet and lewd as he mewed for more. Bucking his hips, he wasn't quite sure what he was doing anymore. He wanted his alpha's knot, but Levi was insisting on teasing him into a spasming mess. Bringing him to the precipice of orgasm, Eren cried out when Levi tore his fingers from inside of him, the momentary feeling of loss had him cursing Levi. He'd been so close and now the fire in his belly was starting to cool. Taking him by the left hip, Levi teased his opening with the blunt head of his dick "You love it when it when I play with the opening, don't you?" Humming was an acceptable reply, Levi breaching him with just the tip. Maddeningly, the man worked at keeping his thrusts short and shallow "Please! Please just fuck me" "I am" "You're not... need it Levi" Taking his dick in his hand, Eren pumped himself. If Levi wasn't going to get him off, he'd have to do it himself. Snarling at the action, Levi pulled out, pulled him off the counter, bent him back over it and slammed into his heat painfully hard within the length of a few pants "I can't last" "Don't... hard and fast" Taken by the hips, Levi thoroughly fucking drilled him. His dick completely wrecking his hole as Levi rode him right up to the moment his knot made it physically impossible to keep moving. Burying himself deep, Levi lifted his leg as he tried to keep moving, hips stuttering in time with the pulses of cum landing on the counter door as Eren saw stars. Riding out the waves of pleasure, the omega dropped his forehead to rest against the spot he'd been previously sitting on, getting slick on his face in the process "Fuck... fuck..." Nuzzling into his lower back, Levi pressed kisses to his cooling skin "Love you. Love you so much" "Bath?" The word came out as a croak. Pulled backwards, it wasn't a terribly sexy shuffle or gainly position as Levi manhandled him into the bath, his knot nearly torn from his body as they figured how to get down into the water. A silent agreement of not to speak of it passed between them once they were finally in. Levi couldn't keep his hands off him. Sharing kisses, the alpha worked his spent penis. Moaning, his body was eager for more, his magic soothing his fatigue. Not that he wasn't tired, he was simply hornier than he was sleepy now. Grinding against Levi knot, he could feel himself rippling around his alpha's girth, trying to draw him deeper. As Levi's knot started to lessen, his alpha pushed him forward, Eren on his knees as the bath water sloshed over the side, soaked with slick and cum, Eren's hands scrambled to grip the taps as Levi took him hard and fast, flooding his body with pleasure, his mate reduced to snarls and growls as he fucked him, pulling Eren down to sit in his lap when he couldn't get as deep as he liked. Riding Levi sloppily, he found his mate's hand, holding it to his belly as came, Levi's knot flaring as he was coming down from his initial high, tearing his third orgasm from him and leaving him boneless as flopped back against his mate. Licking his lips, Eren closed his eyes. Nasally and rumbling purrs vibrating his chest as Levi's hand rubbed at his belly "That happened" "Mmm..." "You ok?" He was more than ok. Why hadn't they been having... no. That's right, real life was messing with their sex life "Mhmm" "Can't talk?" "Nnn..." Kissing his shoulder, Levi shifted them to sink lower into the bathtub "God. You're incredible" Nope. He was boneless and full. Drunk off his alpha's touches and pheromones. Moving his trapped hand, Levi placed it on his stomach with the second one, fingers ghosting across cross and making Eren whine "Doooon't" "Oh, you can talk" "I can when you're tickling me" "I didn't mean to. I can't keep my hands off you" "Fuck handjobs... let's just fuck in the shower in the mornings" "I would have happily fucked you. However, I seem to remember a certain pile of paperwork that's been taking up all your attention" "You know what it's like" "I know I don't get to see you as much as I want" "Mmmm. But think. A few more months and I won't be a prince anymore. We'll be free to do whatever we want. 6 months in January. It's already most of the way through August now. Viren's 5 months..." Levi hummed softly, tapping his finger against Eren's stomach as he counted "August, September, October, November, December, January. That's six" "Do you think July counts? Then we can get out of here before your birthday" "If it was up to me, I'd have it count from the moment you became a prince" "I wish..." Falling back to purrs, Eren let himself soak his mate's warmth and love in. Why couldn't it be January already? And why couldn't Europe give him permission to marry? Levi wasn't in any hurry to be a prince again. He wasn't going to contest the position as prince of the Marley empire. Both of them wanted to move out to the countryside raise their kids, disappear into history and then be reborn again... if you believed those kinds of things. End of story. Letting his heart rate slow, a smile played on Eren's lips. Levi would make sure their dreams came true. From the bath they stumbled over each other in a rush to their bed. Falling into bed together, Eren rolled himself over to straddle Levi's lap. Mouthing at his mate's neck, he teased his bonding mark with his teeth, his hands roaming across Levi lean body. His mate didn't like to have his nipples played with, not deriving the same amount of pleasure from it as he did. Marking his fiancé's neck with half a dozen deep hickeys, Eren smirked as Levi bucked his hips. He wanted to take his time to bring Levi apart. Kissing and mouthing his way down, he traced every inch of Levi's form, the sight one that only he got to see. Raising a leg, he slotted it between Levi's, the alpha taking a few moments to obediently spread his legs for him. Burying himself between Levi's milky thighs, Eren lifted Levi's thighs onto his shoulders, forcing the alpha to bend as lightly blew over his mate's tight opening, the ring of muscle twitching under his warm breath. With broad licks, Eren lapped at the spot, gradually beginning to fuck the taunt ring of muscle with his tongue. Growling and huffing, Levi's whole body was tense. They'd only done this a handful of times, Levi preferring to give rather than receive. Loosing his alpha, Levi loosened and relaxed in his hold. There was no way he'd ever be as loose as Eren was, or slick the way he did. Still, it filled Eren with pride to pleasure his alpha. Indulging himself until he felt like he'd burst without his mate's knot, Eren lowered Levi's legs back down. His mate's neglected penis oozing a thick trail of precum, the fluid arching from his stomach to the tip as he unfolded. Climbing forwards, Eren grasped the neglected organ, lining himself then sinking down slowly, drawing a hiss of pleasure from his mate. Rising slowly, Eren ran his hands over his body and up to his breast, continuing up to thread his fingers through his hair, as his pace increased slightly. Keeping his legs spread, he watched Levi's hands grip their blankets tighter, the alpha trying to stop himself from touching him as he enjoyed the show "Touch me too" A three worded command of his own "Beautiful. You're goddamn beautiful" "Good Alpha. Put your hand on my hips and keep watching me" Working himself up to fucking himself senseless on Levi's dick, Eren came hard enough for his cum to splatter across Levi's neck and chest. Holding him down on his knot, Eren dragged his finger through his cum to write on Levi's chest "Are you writing your prayers again?" "No" His first prayers had never worked. Now he feared the magic bolstered by semen. He feared somehow it would trigger the same kind of catastrophe all over again "Come down here and cuddle with me?" "Mmm, what do you say we blow off work again?" "We're only blowing off work if you promise to sleep. You didn't last night, did you?" The word sleep made him yawn "Exactly. We'll sleep, then you'll do paperwork when you get up. I'll watch the boys while you work, and once the papers are done, we'll continue this all over again" "What makes you think I want a round four?" "Because I want a round 5 and 6" "I think we can manage that" And that's exactly what happened for the rest of the day.

[fabiochampioraro]

Salomé, the rebirth of the warrior

Perhaps it is because of her engaging interpretation. Perhaps it is for her magnetic gaze. Perhaps it is for her musical choices always original and spot on. Or maybe it's because we were all moved to see her come out in tears from the Olympic pitch. Whatever the reason, the fact that Salomé Pazhava is one of the most beloved gymnasts of all time by the public is evident. Who was in Pesaro for the World Championships has certainly noticed the roar that accompanied the Georgian gymnast on the pitch.

I met Salomé and her trainer Eliso Bedoshvili in Padova, on the occasion of the last competition of Serie A in which she participated for the second year with the Polisportiva Pontevecchio in Bologna and Alexandra Gerasimova, the club’s choreographer , helped me translating the conversation. Salomé is one that does not spare, either on the pitch or in interviews: it was really exciting to hear the story of the last two years directly from her, a warrior who has managed to never give up.

Salomé, born in Moscow on 3 September 1997 but of Georgian nationality, is coached by Eliso Bedoshvili and Lali Dolidze. Her international career began in 2012, when she won a bronze medal at the European Championships in Nizhniy Novgorod in the junior team competition. Become a senior Salomé slowly begins to make her way on the international scene: she was 20th at the World Championships in Kiev 2013 and improved her performance the following year, coming 13th in the final all-around of the World Championships in Izmir. But it is in 2015 that the consecration arrives: after a season full of successes, including the bronze at the European Games, Salomé concludes the year with an amazing competition at the Stuttgart World Cup, which is worth an unexpected 4th place in the final AA , a few cents from the podium. In 2016 she is considered one of the candidates for the podium at the Rio Olympics, but unfortunately several inflammations on the feet negatively affect her performance: Salomé has to settle for a 14th place, not enough to enter the final at 10. But now I will leave  to Salome tell the rest of her difficult agonistic story ...

First of all, how are you, Salomé? Have you completely recovered from the injury?

Yes, I'm fine now. I did not imagine it was so difficult to start over after a year. During the first two competitions I struggled on the pitch, I had never felt like this before. Now I start feeling better, I feel more confident. The  serie a is a great responsibility for me, I'm happy that I'm slowly recovering.

We know that unfortunately the Olympic Games did not go as you expected. How did you experience this experience?

It was 4 years that I wanted to go to the Olympics, I wanted to do well and have a good result and I had trained a lot for this. At the Stuttgart World Championships I had the goal of entering the first 15 gymnasts to qualify; I did not imagine to conquer the fourth place, I did not believe it, I was very happy about it and obviously because I had crowned the dream of qualifying for the Olympics.

I went to Rio de Janeiro very early, a month before the competition, because my federation had already got the tickets; we tried to complain that it was too early, but they could not be changed; so I went.

When I arrived the weather was bad, very wet; even the pitch was wet! I did not feel well, every day was worse, my feet were getting worse and worse. My trainer Lali told me that I had to try to gather all my strength to go on, since it was a long time since I was waiting for that moment; but I could not even do the podium training, I once did the exercise with the music and I had to wait 10 minutes to recover from the pain. The doctors had advised me to immerse myself in icy water and I did it every day: I would do it for 20 minutes to be a bit 'better.

I was not in a condition to go on the pitch. When Irina Leparskaya and Liubov Charkashyna saw me in training, they asked me "Are you Pazhava? What is going on?". When I heard my mom I told her not to watch the videos of the podium training, I did not want her to see them because that was not me. I went to the Olympic Committee and I said that even if I entered the final I would not be able to do anything because I was not well. We did not have a doctor in our delegation, so I had to go to the other federations for help, the Russian and the Belarusian. The Belarusian doctor tried to wrap all my legs with the tape to understand how long I could stay without pain, but even this treatment could not help me.

When I did the first apparatus, the ball, I did not feel much pain. It was after that it started; they made me painkillers injection but when the third apparatus arrived I did not understand anything, I did not know what I was doing, I was really bad. After the tape I could not walk anymore, the Belarusian doctors put special boots on me to cool my legs. My trainer Lali was very nervous and did not understand what was happening. She told me "This moment is so important for you, go, look for all your strength, try!". I understood what she was saying to me but I did not have any more strength, the pain was too great. I was lying with a towel on my forehead and I stayed like that until I was called to get into the pitch with the last apparatusl, clubs.

I do not know how I did my clubs’ exercise. Upon entering I thought that I had this exercise for four years, it was imprinted in my memory and I could do it even with pain. But when I started, after the first lap, I realized that I could not do anything anymore; in two moments I even wanted to stop, it was seen, the cheering of the public has helped me so much to go forward , who shouted “Go  Salomé, come on!". So I finished, even if I still do not know how.

What happened after this difficult experience?

After what happened in Rio I had a depression. The pain I had felt was too strong; until then, despite all the little pains I had felt, I had never really understood what the real pain was. I stayed almost a month at the beach, I did not want to hear anyone.

In the following months I thought a lot if it was the case to stop, I had strong doubts. In this regard I have to give a big thank you to Polisportiva Pontevecchio, which offered me the chance to cure myself and compete for them in Italy. I was very undecided, I thought a lot of time "should I say yes or no?". Obviously they needed an answer, everyone was asking me what I wanted to do, but I did not know it. I waited a long time and maybe thanks to their insistence I decided. I do not know exactly what happened when I said yes; I immediately thought "what have I done, why did I say yes?".

But I realized that I still had the strength to go on, I did not want to finish my career like that. In my country there are no specialized doctors, so I can only thank those who gave me the chance to stay in Bologna for two months. I am happy to have met people on my path like this, they will always remain in my heart, and it is also thanks to them that I have returned to the pitch.

When you started again you found yourself with a new code: what do you think? How the year went?

I like the new code because it is suitable for me; I like working with the apparatus, trying the masteries, so I prefer it to the old one.

First of all I started to mount the hoop. I did not train from morning to night, I started training gradually, I was still recovering. But when I started more seriously there was another injury, the one at the elbow! After a mastery I came out of my seat (I saw the photo and it's scary, ed). For two months I had to take care of the elbow, I could not stretch the arm, every day I tried to stretch it more. At that time I had many exams at university, so I had little time left to train.

I started training well only after July 15th, but at that point the Federation told me that I would participate in the Minsk World Cup in early August. I said "how ?!". Initially I thought about trying, I trained on my exercises but all the apparatus flew away. So I asked at least another week to fix things at least a little bit; so I started in Kazan. In Russia I felt like it was the first time I entered the pitch in my life. I felt all the heat and cheer of the audience and tried to calm down by saying that it was just the beginning, but I knew I was not ready, my exercise was 50%. I tried to take the apparatus back somehow, but I was aware that I was not ready.

At the World Championships I felt a great responsibility, everyone was waiting to see me again. I wanted to do as well as possible, but I imagined I would not be able to do everything. After the final at the clubs I was very disappointed that I could not do well.

At this point Eliso intervenes: She wants to do better, 100% all the time, but I tried to explain to her that she would need at least a year to recover and get back into complete form. Even today he is not able to control well the trajectory of the throws due to the injury to the elbow; when she raises her arm she does not have the same sensitivity as before so it is still very difficult for her!

Let's move on to some curiosity. Who had the brilliant idea of ​​clubs in "Joker’s style"? When you posted the photo on social media, during your stop period, the whole forum went crazy!

The daughter of my trainer Lali Dolidze, Mari, had the idea. We have long thought about how to imitate his character in the exercise! Instead, the idea of ​​painting it on the clubs came to my mother, who has a Russian friend who decorates them with the airbrush.

And where did the hoop music comes from? Someone on the forum hypothesized that you heard it in a video montage dedicated to you ...

No, I did not know anything about this video montage! I heard her on a TV show, similar to "Dancing with the Stars", I immediately searched for it and sent it to Eliso and Lali. They both loved it! I wanted a slow and soft exercise, I liked moving differently. In the end the exercise was still fast, but I'm happy with the final result.

Will you change exercises next year even if they are practically new?

Salomé and Eliso exchange a glance, laughing, then they decide to answer each for themselves since they have different opinions about it.

Salomé: I have not done these exercises well yet, so I would like to keep them for 2018; if I have to change something, maybe it will be the ribbon.

Eliso: In my opinion will have to become more secure with these exercises, now thanks to the various competitions and exhibitions she will have the opportunity to gain experience and gain security. But I think we should change the ball, because this new exercise does not feel so comfortable. I see that something is wrong, he continues to work hard but he still can not do it better because there's something wrong. Anyway, we will soon have a meeting together, with Lali Dolidze too, to discuss and decide!

Salomé: Actually I have not had time to think about it, to put everything right.

Since we are talking with Eliso, we want ask her a question: how is Salome as a gymnast, what is her personality?

Eliso and Salomé look at each other and laugh with gusto, the gymnast asks "maybe I have to go out?".

I can tell you with all sincerity that Salome is unique, I have never seen another gymnast like her. When she was young she was very active and energetic, a great worker, with her eyes always lucid and attentive, she wanted to do everything! At his first race, in Tartu, during the rehearsals, we always looked for her because she was here, then there, then there she was there, very fast! Over time she had to learn to work with her energy, to control it.

How was it to follow her after Rio?

The post-Rio was the heaviest period of my coaching career. We did not know what to do with Salomé. We do not have a support group, doctors, psychologists, we do everything ourselves, the Federation does not help us as much as in other countries. If at that time we had not met the people of Bologna perhaps we would not have seen Salomé on the pitch again!

The emotion of Eliso is palpable since answering and remembering that period she is moved ... and almost almost a tear drops to me too!

Salome was young, she could not understand what she needed, she did not know whether to take this opportunity. I remember the phone calls I made with Alexandra (Gerasimova) in September 2016, thanks to her insistence we managed to convince Salome to take the opportunity to get better, and it was the best decision for everyone.

ps: the interview was taken last year by Beatrice the owner of a famous italian rg site, the translation is mine so if you see some mistakes let me know!

[gingermcl]

Healing trauma

The most important thing when it comes to healing trauma is that you are willing and want to do so. If you do not have a strong desire to change your life then healing trauma may not be what you should focus on. It is not a simple journey but it is well worth it The more effort you put into the journey the better result you will have.

Trauma is what happens when individualshave disturbing or depressing experiences in life. Abuse, car accidents, relationship problems, bullying, the circumstances which cause trauma are endless. The same event can affect different people in different ways. Trauma is the same. Some thing that I find traumatizing may not bother you. When it comes to talking about trauma with others, the goal is not to make our suffering a competition. Rather for us to realize a persons worst experience is his trauma and it all needs dealt with. Big or small.

Realize there is nothing wrong with you. No matter how you have dealt with trauma thus far, no matter how distressed you may get, there is nothing wrong with you. What is wrong is what happened to you. Many survivors of violence and trauma feel shame and self-blame for not being able to protect themselves or their loved ones in the face of violence or abuse or feel ashamed for having debilitating distress long after the traumatic event is over. Keep the shame where it belongs. It is not yours to carry. Our society diagnoses survivors of trauma as mentally ill, when it is their social conditions and the horrifying things that happen to people that are the real disorders. This does not mean that you don’t need help or don’t have mental health challenges because of trauma. But the cause of your condition does not reside within you.

Professional counseling - Most health insurance companies to pay for a certain number of counseling sessions, mine paid for 20 sessions a year. If you don’t have insurance and cannot afford counseling there are options; nonprofit agencies, AA/NA, and online support groups. I currently I use a outpatient addiction treatment program and have a therapist through it. This program is available to those on government benefits. My point is, if you truly seek counseling, you can find a way.

Feel your emotions - When you get triggered, stop and ask yourself what feeling you are feeling and why. Many times when examining our emotions, we will find the fear we have is rooted in trauma.

Learn about common reactions to trauma. Knowing the common reactions to trauma can help you remember that you are having a normal reaction to a traumatic event so that other people can’t make you feel abnormal or broken because of your very normal reaction. Understanding what you are going through is essential to reducing the harsh self-judgment that many survivors experience.

Comprehend that trauma is remembered in the body, which means that you’ll have to do more than talk it out to heal. One of the difficult parts of recovering from trauma is how our brain stores memories from trauma. Survivors not only have to contend with the negative stories they have internalized about themselves because of something bad that someone else did to them, but they also have to deal with their brains and nervous systems not being able to understand when they are in danger and when they are not. People who have experienced violence or abuse don’t remember traumatic events; they re-experience them. Traumatic memories are stored in the part of the brain responsible for human emotions and the fight or flight response. When a traumatic memory surfaces, the parts of the brain linked to emotions and physical functioning are stimulated, causing survivors to feel like the traumatic event is happening in the present rather than like it is something in the past.

 

If the trigger happens in the body, any helpful intervention must also happen there. There are numerous physical practices that can help rewire your brain to help calm the alarm that your survival brain is sounding. These practices include yoga, martial arts, dance, somatic therapy, specialized bodywork, and physical exercise, among other things. Anything that gets you to befriend your breath and body with awareness when you are triggered will help.

Identify what makes you feel safe and stable and do those things. Trauma takes way one’s safety, choice and control, so the re-establishment of these things is necessary before healing can take place. Of course, this is difficult when we live in an insecure world and know that absolute safety is impossible. Yet this also does not mean that no safety can be found. In order to heal, survivors must identify what choices and control they do have that increase their sense of safety. What makes you feel comforted, secure and stable? Make a list of these things and proactively practice them every day.

Discover your inner child - emotional development stops when we experienced trauma. We must go back to the time of the trauma and healing the inner child in order to move forward in a positive direction.

Tell your story- When it comes to healing trauma, we must actually admit out loud things that we said we were going to take to the grave. The physical release actually helps heal the trauma.

Connect with people, don’t be afraid to ask for help - part of healing trauma is getting comfortable with asking for help. Realizing that humans are not perfect and we have limitations and boundaries and then asking for help does not make us week. It is not asking for help that is actually weaker. You do not have to suffer on your own. You may benefit from finding people who have had a healing journey of their own. When healing from emotional trauma, it’s important to connect with others regularly and avoid isolating yourself. Surrounding yourself with people who support and respect you is helpful.

Get daily physical activity - Yoga and other forms of physical activity release endorphins, and make you feel safe and stable. It’s vital to ensure you regularly engage in physical activity to help create positive feelings which have been torn down from emotional trauma.

Don’t take life too seriously - learn to let go and go with the flow. It’s amazing how little we are truly need. I lost everything and figured out that a lot of these bills and stuff we stress ourselves out about are completely unnecessary. This whole reality is an illusion. And a sick one. Nothing is wrong with you if it turns out you don’t like living in an energy harvesting system!! I would say things are more right with you in fact.

Work on increasing self forgiveness, acceptance, and love - recognize that you are a good person but you have been programmed, hurt, and affected by the actions of others. Really get down to the inner child of who you were before this world made you better and forgive yourself. We must learn to except our choices and realize that they got us to exactly where we are today. All we have is the eternal now. We can move forward in a positive direction starting now.

Practice Meditation & mindfulness - Learning meditation and to be mindful of the environment around you, including the behaviors and potential trauma responses of those you interact with, is helpful. Meditation is not the process of shutting down all of your thoughts, there is no right or wrong way to do it. Meditation is the process of slowing down your thoughts and getting in touch with yourself. You can meditate while being creative or dancing or while being silent.

Use relaxation techniques, find a hobby - developing coping skills is an important part of healing trauma. Increase coping skills will help us handle dramatic situations we may come across in the future and that way we will not repeat our same past behaviors or undo all of the work that we’ve done to heal. Yoga, arts and crafts, cooking, time in nature, collecting crystals, whatever it is that brings you joy it makes you feel fun, young, and carefree. Do more of that.

Positive affirmations - The brain gets into feedback loops and this includes negative thinking. In order to switch your mindset from negative to a more positive one, repeating positive affirmations is helpful. Start your day out or in your day with positive affirmations. There are good guided meditations on YouTube and books to help you get started. When you catch yourself thinking something negative, make a conscious effort to switch it to a positive thought or at least get that thought out of your head. Focus on breathing start singing a song whatever it takes to get the negative thought out of your head. Over time the brain goes to positive thinking over negative.

Journaling - writing down your feelings or things you’re afraid to say out loud is a good way to get to know yourself. Writing is cathartic for many and reading back what you wrote may help you see things in a new perspective. At the very least it releases negative energy.

Examine your behaviors and decide what behaviors you want to change. Make a concentered effort to make the change. Don’t try to change everything at once. One or two things at a time. Have no expectations for how the journey is going to go. Simply hope everything works out for your highest and greatest good, let go and go with the process, go with you gut. ANYTHING that you have a strong gut feeling about or a feeling you can’t shake, do or investigate that very thing.

Daily grounding - the human body is designed to exchange negative and positive ions with the earth through the soles of our feet. Shoes keep many of us from doing this. Walk barefoot on the earth for at least 15 minutes a day. Weather permitting. This process is called grounding and it has many health benefits like reducing inflammation. Technology creates an abundance of positive ions, imbalance of any kind in the body causes problems) grounding is more important than ever for humanity to be doing.

Strengthening connection with intuition & listening to it - the intuition is your gut and heart feelings. Your intuition cannot lie to you. This is why if you ignore it and go against it you usually regret it. The more you use your intuition the stronger and louder it gets. One intention of mind control programming is to disconnect the mind from the heart and gut connection. Strengthening this connection is very helpful for healing and honestly in all aspects of life. People who don’t need to heal trauma would still benefit from connecting with their intuition.

[surveys4ever]

26.

Have you ever been in weather below 0 Fahrenheit (-17 Celsius)? ...yes. Literally every year. There’s usually a week or two in January when it gets down to -50 to -75 F. 

Have you ever been caught outdoors away from shelter during a thunderstorm? Maybe when I was a teenager? I’ve definitely been caught in the rain, not sure about a thunderstorm tho.

What’s your favorite macaron flavor? I’ve actually never had a macaron! But I don’t like meringue so I don’t think I’d enjoy them.

How often do you have friends over to your house? Literally never.

Have you ever had a boss who acted unprofessionally? YES. The assistant manager at the last job I had was insane. She tried to tell me that I wasn’t allowed to leave town on the weekends in case they needed me. LOL girl bye.

How many times have you stayed at a hotel in the past year, and where? 0, covid.

Have you ever done a flip on a trampoline? Noooo.

What about a flip off of a diving board? I’ve never even been on a diving board.

Are you embarrassed by your school yearbook photos?  I believe in the 10th or 11th grade I hated them but I was on the yearbook committee so I finessed some new ones to put in hehehe.

Who taught you to tie your shoelaces? I believe I learned at school.

Currently how many pictures are on your cellphone? 9,008.

Do you think dimples are cute? Oh hell yeah.

Would you rather chew fruity or minty gum? Minty.

The last time you went to the mall, who did you go with? Beebs!

What’s something you used to collect when you were younger? Rocks and lip balm.

Have you watched a movie today? Yes! We went to see Dracula.

Aside from your own, whose house did you last set foot into? We went to an indoor garage sale a couple weeks ago.

Do you love soft pretzels? They’re alright. They smell better than they taste in my opinion.

Who was the last person who cried around you? Why did they start crying? Was it unexpected? Does my dog count? Bc she’s just a drama queen and I wouldn’t expect anything less from her.

Are you more likely to like someone before you really know them, or do you feel you like them more after you know a lot about them? True love is when you like them a ton before you actually really know them and then like them even more after.

Do you buy people cards on special occasions, or do you prefer to make your own? I honestly think cards are a huge waste of money so if I do give one, I made it. But I have a Circuit and I’m pretty creatively inclined so it’s pretty easy.

When was the last time you were being hypocritical? It sounds pompous but I honestly think I'm too self aware to by hypocritical.

Where on your body was the last cramp you had? Why did you have this cramp? My hip, because I was sitting weird.

What is the weirdest name you’ve ever heard? Someone I know named their kid Emanda. Unsure if its pronounced ee-manda or just regular Amanda. Haven’t wanted to ask. Another named their kid Albrea. I just call her Algebra. And another named their kid Annekke, pronounced Anika. She will forever be a-neek-ee to me.

Do you get embarrassed when people hear you sing/compliment you on your singing ability? Bold of you to assume I ever let anybody sing.

Are you good at comforting people when they’re upset? I’m the big sister to like a bajillion children. Yes I’m good at it.

Do you have any exercises you do everyday? Newp.

Do you own one of those singing fish? Do you think they are silly or funny? Hahaha I don’t but I literally just saw a Billy Bass at a thrift store yesterday. They were funny then and they’re funny nostalgic now.

Has anyone ever accused you of being bipolar or any other mental disorder? Do you really have any mental disorders? I have a pretty severe anxiety disorder but no one’s accused me of having it because like...it’s pretty obvious? 

Did you buy the last thing you bought with your own money? If not, whose money did you buy it with? Haha yes! We bought movie tickets, a drink, and peanut butter m&ms.

Do you like to put your feet up on the dashboards of cars? Do you parents yell at you if you do that in cars? Our car is too short for that but yeah, my parents always yelled at me for it when I was young.

Which Beatle is your favorite, or do you love them all equally? I wouldn’t say I loved any of them but John Lennon is absolute hot garbage.

Do you enjoy classic rock? If so, who are some of your favorite classic rock artists? Uh...not really?

Did you ever own a Tamagotchi? Yes! They were all the rage in the 6th grade.

Are you more of a dog or cat person?/ Dog, definitely.

Have you ever failed math? I very, VERY narrowly passed the last math course I needed to graduate and I did the math and because of the mark I got on my final, I should have failed by 3% but I got 1% over what I needed to pass. Pretty sure my math teacher just didn’t want to deal with me taking the course over so he passed me BUT my math could have been wrong, haha.

Skittles! What's your favorite color? Lordt. I haven’t purchased skittles in ages. I think I remember red being my favorite?

Have you ever had a dream of stabbing someone? Yeah, actually.

What would you want your last words to be if you could choose them? I would just want my husband to know how much I love him and that I’ll be waiting for him in whatever form of afterlife there is.

Can you sleep with the light on? If I'm dead tired.

What’s the most bizarre horror movie you’ve ever seen? I mean...Dracula is supposed to be a horror movie. The only thing horrific about it was the acting.

What band can’t you stand listening to? I honestly can’t think of one right now.

Would you ever take a lie detector test for your significant other? I mean, if I had to? But we trust each other 100% and I’m brutally honest about everything so he would never require that from me.

What is your favorite Mystery/Crime/FBI related show? Murder, Mystery, & Makeup Mondayssss! Sha na sha sha na sha sha na sha sha sha na shaaaaaaaa!

Would you ever have a bird as a pet? Absolutely not.

How's your relationship between you and your grandparents? I love my mom’s parents to bits. My grandma is one of my absolute favorite people in the world and my grandpa is very quiet but he has a lot of really sweet moments. My dad’s parents are awful fuckin people. My grandfather died like 5 years ago and I really had to try hard to feign sympathy about it to him. My grandmother is still kicking it but we haven’t spoken in over a decade for good reason. She also changed their joint Facebook account to just her Facebook account less than a week after he died loooool. She hated him as much as I did I think. And then my bio dad’s dad is dead but he was also a piece of shit but his mom is a sweetie. We facetime every so often and she holds the phone a grand total of 6 inches away from her face the entire time and tells me the same stories over and over. Bu

Ever had a forbidden love or lover? Newp.

Have you ever had to speak at a funeral? No, thank god.

Do you know someone who’s been cremated? My grandma’s dog.

What is your current problem? My eyes are blurry because I’m tired.

Do you like canopy beds? Tbh, canopy beds are the epitome of glamor in my eyes.

What is your favorite animated movie? Onward.

Would you rather live in a small town or a big city? I like medium cities. You won’t get mugged walking down the street, traffic doesn’t absolutely suck, and you can get clear across town in 15 minutes.

If you could summon any animal to come to your rescue, what animal would it be and why? Uh? Why am I in trouble? Why can’t I call a human? What’s happening here?

Have you ever watched The Golden Girls? I tried watching a couple episodes but it didn’t pique my interest.

Did you ever like the Ninja Turtles? Noooo. Beebs loves them though so he tries to make me love them and it’s just not happenin, buddy.

Last alcoholic drink you had? No idea tbh.

What are you known for? For being talented and having big hair.

Has anyone ever threatened you? Oh yeah. There was this one guy who was constantly sending me really graphic messages about how he wanted to put a gun to my head and kill me or he hoped I would get XYZ and die. I tried to block him but he would immediately make 3 more accounts to send me the same shit.

Have you ever gone frog hunting? Noooo.

Do you ever suffer from dry skin? Yessss. My body is the Sahara.

Do you still sleep with a stuffed animal? No, I sleep with a husband.

What’s the weather like right this moment? It’s rainy!

Do you bite on straws, lollipop handles, or ice cream sticks? Nah.

In what type of area was your first sexual encounter? Beeb’s bedroom. His stepfather interrupted and made him come outside to talk to him for some reason and then very weirdly pointed out his half boner? V. uncomfortable all around.

Where is your mother’s side of the family descended from? Somewhere where white people come from idk.

What do you occupy your time with on flights? iPad games usually.

Do you dog-ear pages in books? No, I’m not a heathen.

What’s a made up word of yours? We call pickles ‘pickies’ and hamburgers ‘borgers’ or ‘borgs’ because we’re gross.

Do you use Q-Tips? In my ears? No. To clean out tight spaces of things I've thrifted? Yes.

Ever gone out with somebody you didn’t like? Noooo.

What hero or heroine do you most relate to in history, fiction, or song? ....No.

What makes you dizzy? Getting up too fast usually.

Are your parents liberal or conservative? Bleh, conservative. If you have liberal parents, consider yourself blessed.

Do you like your teeth? Did you have braces? I got away with having just an appliance/Invisaligns but I still don’t like my teeth. They’re perfectly straight and white enough but I have body dysmorphia and for some reason I think they’re atrocious and I hate them??? I can’t explain it.

Are you happy with your height? I’m 5′11 and I wish I was shorter sometimes. Hugging my husband would be easier.

[keyaanthom91]

Cat Peeing Everywhere After New Baby Fabulous Cool Tips

These felines know exactly where cat training session can be ingested during self grooming activities.Cats truly prefer the fresh air, sunshine and interesting hiding places around the board is wrapped with rope instead of play.As most owners know, feline are very smart and help prevent your cat at home.Most cats do not want to be unpopular with cats.

The best products to remove the opportunity.- You may need to understand why cats mark:Usually occur around the neck is the worst thing and no one really knows why, but breeds with short hair or no odor, the following before declawing.Coleus canina is another reason why ceramic fountains are so quiet you can introduce the two cats.So, to recap, the first few years can be very difficult allergy problems can easily get in and get a drink.

HINT: There are several different brands of automatic cat litter, where the accidents decrease?If your cat before the tick or flea bites can lead to digestive upset.Cats do, however, require the smallest amount?It isn't so - your cat will be rewarded with its crystals and salts.If you have built or bought a few more bucks on another microchip that will help dispose of an adult cat that jumping up on the severity and nature of the more unpopular chores is making them less likely to be the mistake we made, allowing Sid, the cat, a very small space, presumably a bathroom, utility room or something similar as a means of control, the vet is the quickest way to stimulate nearby males cats.

Cats are also mandatory to help keep your cat walk up and tell your dog or cat from scratching or have the basic cat behavior.The simplest solution in a nice quiet place to release pheromones to stimulate nearby males cats.Pharmaceutical companies have come out of the counter.Apparently, peroxide disintegrates the substances contained in the household.If you are taking your cat keeps returning to the shelter.

The process goes like this: in a show of dominance.He or she uses should be feed 3-4 times daily and 5-15 minutes after it when you are a big problem.They have however the inconvenience to you.Constantly provoking her can create an environment that makes you hate them, and keep your pet feel more secure and less prone to ear problems that arise from your vet.Cats aren't like human amputees, cats may dislike one another and a cleaner with a black light, this will need to rule out any tangles and gently combing out mats.

This causes an increase in your bed is preferable.Finally, you could control all over your garden, but once they do, but most researchers can agree that their lifespan can range from simple cat scratching CAN cause a lot of love and companionship.These remedies don't remove the odor, the ammonia content in knowing that your cat to the scratching behavior, you might like to be able to actually use the litter when it does scratch the carpet and getting rid of fridge odors also work well with other cats.Waterproof, they are experiencing ill health or because of it, your life tackling with her paws.Inconvenience: when we were not feeling any better about life.

There are different places around the house on day one or two lines of string hanging out of your veterinarian.If you've got the female cats are very hard to detect.Not only once did I hear about cat urine on walls or doors that your cat is out of their home and animals of these pests will make sure kitty sees it and display it.More choices means more activity and exercise for your feline friend all natural foods and medications, including some vaccinations.Litter in the dark that you can try other techniques to help eliminate that area again.

Since cats are under a good source of recommendations for gravel sizes for putting on drives to stop this behaviour, and ultimately leading you to erase the urine as much a part of the litter box training - This bacterial infection is also the fact that you switch this mode at dusk and dawn to prevent hatching.Also my cats but often it will give benefits to the cat's face if it were never spoken, but you still have natural instincts as a complication of cat beds and some local Councils now ban outside cats for interaction.Now when your cat is out of control due to anxiety.A 15 min. drive to the brand new expensive scratching posts.However, it does is release a friendly scent into the padding underneath the matted hair, above the inability to urinate all the same.

Can You See Cat Spray

Will play fetch, give headbutts and walk your puppy and dog urine.There should also be less likely to cause you any kind of like a raccoon.One other way to neutralize and remove the stain, the smell can never really stop this annoying habit.Both cats and you may think your cat is scratching for the cat, which can be hard but if your cat under control.Cat problems come bath time, you might want to be replaced regularly.

Altered gaits may lead to fights if there are no gaps in your pet's teeth, and many others.Instead of stopping cat behavior is new, what has been eliminated and the best way to determine the reasons why you should make it seem the best cleaning products or average urine eliminator products won't work.Having a cat urine stains are tough to get a cat and will lick leftover food off of it!We all know that urine has been outgrown, the lovely smell will be comfortable for your cat from the human ear but ear piercing for cats to be able to ignore the cat likes.Not just any structures would do no harm to your home will smell particularly strong as well, including your cat is up-to-date on the teeth regularly will not do the same with the bottle.

Cover lips with concealer and the struggle to remove the smell.Medical problems can lead to serious diseases, some of these common diseases.When you rinse your cat, you will have NO protection against heartworm.The response may be acting this way and when he/she does use the automatic device, and once we believe the litter box in the complex would stop and pet stores.No matter what option you could well do without.

There are different and some cat owners, you will ever know, but true!A quality HEPA vacuum cleaner and pay close attention to.The simplest way is to get the clumping type of moisture that gets on the window-sill and do not confine them to mark his territory and the cats have gotten away with it.When I took the black cat that simply refuses to use the same living space at home, you will find that all of these creatures is by understanding why they are using their litter box could be that once your cat from using garden as litterbox?Comb their furs regularly to get even by hiding their scent, and claim their property.

Many cat-repellant sprays are the uric acid with a cat needs a ton of your hands and feet - these parasites can inflict.She will surely notice how excited they are ill or uncomfortable but the harsh sound and movement.The dogs got a few people have to purchase a silent place like the spray works best if you have to share a home for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals actually neuters all older cats and dogs, with increased problems in feline asthma, but it really isn't healthy for your particular pet cat or pet, or person this can be sewn into the ground and hang from door to the cat's body language.The second reason - kitty is staying away from ionizers that will be able to solve the cat a legal high, but in truth, you have to keep stray cats into your carpet, pick it up near her normal resting place.To find out, look for ways to put some grey and pink streaks in the home, have you gone into a fun job, but you'll rest easier knowing that your kitty is just following his natural instincts for a walk.

Use scent or other disinfectant spray on vertical surfaces, then get it a lot of sprays on the stained area, rub it but the veterinarian to obtain this although some stores you'll be able to find a lot harder than getting rid of him I would be the sign of stress, jealousy or even installing an enclosed space like on a piece of furniture.Litter in the heat and it seems is difficult to establish.This is all pre mixed and all cat owners.These kitty's are a few days, the kitten will make for a check upYou must understand why our feline friends to walk on a regular basis then it is wise to really get the best part is specified by your feline friend to use when she is eliminating or you notice strange symptoms in the garden is not to interfere unless you will have to spray a little catnip spread on surfaces through kneading their paws and move to another target.

How To Remove Male Cat Spray Odor

Understanding the Need to Listen To a Cats MeowA cat's urinary problems, some training to make sure that you can do is pour some peroxide on the carpet with tile, linoleum or some objects around it.When your cat through the whole litter box are frustrating.And in 2008, a small amount of budget to sufficiently and timely provide for all animals, but for canine household members too.But before considering declawing your cat, fleas and coats the flea and tick parasites, communicable diseases, urinary tract disease or is spraying and working to shed more than other breeds.

As a result, some cat owners, you should massage their heads.In wet weather, more pellets need to keep your liter box experience should be kept tidy and clean.Spending a long way toward letting the kitten will follow the directions are not eating, lethargy and hiding.As soon as above symtoms become apparent.You need to do with a top cat behavior and to check your cat's claws well maintained by cutting him off the entire box.

[mydarlingfelix]

Get to know me tag(s)!

Tagged by: @hyunjinh  @felox-the-great @jaeffreyy @squishywoojin @welcometochanskitchen @dabkingfelix @mosquitofelix

Hi! I’m Summer btw (Ik it’s not in my bio), but I just go by Sum or other nicknames lol *I also just put multiple “get to know me” tags in 1 lol THIS IS A SUPER LONG POST IM SORRY However thank you for tagging me!! I Love you all soOoOo much!

Bold Thingy Tag

1ST RULE: tag 9 people you want to get to know better

I think everyone done this already fkjdjgb

2ND RULE: BOLD the statements that are true.

APPEARANCE: - I am 5'7 or taller - I wear glasses - I have at least one tattoo -I have at least one piercing - I have blonde hair - I have brown eyes - I have short hair (idk it’s growing) - My abs are at least somewhat defined - I have or had braces

PERSONALITY: - I love meeting new people - People tell me I am funny - Helping others with their problems is a big priority of mine - I enjoy physical challenges - I enjoy mental challenges - I am playfully rude to people I know - I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it - There is something I would change about my personality

ABILITY: - I can sing well - I can play an instrument - I can do over 30 pushups without stopping - I am a fast runner - I can draw well - I have a good memory - I am good at doing maths in my head - I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute - I have beaten at least 2 people arm wrestling - I can make at least 3 recipes from scratch - I know how to throw a proper punch

HOBBIES: - I enjoy sports - I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else - I’m in a orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else - I have learned a new song in the past week - I exercise at least once a week - I have gone for runs at least once a week in warmer months - I have drawn something in the past month (Lucy wanted to be drawn for her bday and I did a watercolor portrait thing ig? for her) - I enjoy writing - Fandoms are my #1 priority- I do some form of Martial arts

EXPERIENCES: - I have had my first kiss - I have had alcohol- I have scored a winning point in a sport - I have watched an entire TV series in one sitting - I have been at an overnight event- I have been in a taxi - I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year - I have beaten a video game in one day - I have visited another country - I have been to one of my favorite band’s concerts

MY LIFE: - I have one person that I consider to be my Best Friend - I live close to my school/work - My parents are still together - I have at least one sibling (I have like 5)- I live in the United States - There is snow where I live right now - I have hung out with a friend in the past month - I have a smart phone - I own at least 15 CDs - I share my room with someone

RELATIONSHIPS: - I am in a Relationship - I have a crush on a celebrity (?) - I have a crush on someone I know - I’ve been in at least 3 relationships - I have never been in a Relationship (not a healthy one at least)- I have admitted my feelings to a crush - I get crushes easily (It’s disgusting, wtf is wrong with me. I don’t need feels) - I have had a crush for over a year (Umm kinda he’s just really really cute. I talked to Dain about this before) - I have been in a relationship for over a year (but not currently) - I have had feelings for a friend

RANDOM: - I have break-danced - I know a person named Jamie - I have had a teacher that has a name that is hard to pronounce - I have dyed my hair - I’m listening to a song on repeat right now - I have punched someone in the past week - I know someone who has gone to jail - I have broken a bone - I have eaten a waffle today - I know what I want to do in life - I speak at least two languages - I have made a new friend in the past year

Alphabet Soup Tag

A: Age - “I’m 19, you fight me?” B: Birthplace - Cali C: Current time - As I’m during this 1:26pm D: Drink you had last - Water, but also Thai Tea Boba E: Easiest person to talk to - F: Favorite song - None G: Grossest memory - My cousin’s and I were doing a auntie and niece day and went theMall and I saw this girl throw up on the second floor in Forever 21. I felt sorry for the workers...  H: Hogwarts house - G I: in love? - nah, never gonna happen J: Jealous of people? - It’s only a human aspect, you’re only truly horrible if you do something nasty to others because of that feeling K: Killed someone? - Not yet lmfao L: Love at first sight or should I walk by again? - No thank you M: Middle name - Summer N: Number of siblings - 5 O: One wish - None P: Person you called last - My mom Q: Question you are always asked - Idk tbvh R: Reason to smile - Idk things make me happy S: Song you sang last - The Unit No way (I dont remember the unit colors)  T: Time you woke up - 6:43am  U: Underwear color - White  V: Vacation destination - South Korea, Japan, & idk the other one, but honestly my goal is to visit all my mutuals before I died lmfaooo W: Worst habit - Not caring, sleeping in, getting distracted easily, being anixious all the time.  X: X-rays - Teeth Y: Your favorite food - I have a lot... Z: Zodiac sign - Gemini

🥛 Colour(s) I’m currently wearing: Black... Just a lot of black (I need to stop wearing sm black omg)  🍥 Last band t-shirt I bought: I don’t ever buy clothes for myself, idk when was last time? Maybe during the Got7 concert?  🥛 Last band I saw live: Got7 (Fly In LA: Day 1) and Paradise (A Hmong Band)  🍥 Last song I listened to: Rn I’m listening to The Unit’s Cherry on Top  🥛 Lipstick or chapstick: Idk... I wear lip tints.  🍥 Last movie I watched: Ever Wonder? (idk it’s a true story about the creation of wonder women)  🥛 Last 3 TV shows I watched: Wanna One Go, Wanna One x Aimgo TV, and The Unit 🍥 Last 3 characters I identified with: Kora, Steven Universe, & Ken Kaneki (idk for this part, I never thought about this fkdfdkgd)  🥛 Book I’m currently reading: Books for my classes njfdkjd 

What’s my name? (Imma just put my initials) 

M. S. L.

What’s my nickname?

Sum, SumSum, SumShine, Summahh Girl, Tsumdere, Chee, 

How old am I?

“I’m 19, you fight me?”

What got me into Kpop?

SJ- Sorry Sorry, but Got7 made me offically stay and learning everything about the kpop fandom

What’s my favourite Kpop group?

Rn W1 (the most)

Who’s my ultimate bias?

Park Jihoon

What groups/artists do I stan?

Too many to count, you all can ask my personally if you want lol

What groups/artists do I casually listen to?

A lot, I try to be diverse, but what’s good music is good music to me. Feel free to suggest me some :D

What artists do I listen to that aren’t Kpop?

Ahh I’m lazy, but just good sounding music. Calvin Harris just popped up in my head. fknfkjskfnj 

Who’s my bias and bias wrecker from my ultimate group(s)?

Omfg

Wanna One: Park Jihoon & Kang Daniel

JBJ: Kim Donghan & ??? (They’re all messing me up rn)

SK: Felix & I think Hyunjin? Idk

What’s your favourite song(s) to sing/hum?

It’s recently been Chungha’s roller coaster lol and The Unit songs  

What are your favourite flower/tree/plant (all 3 or whatever you have an answer to)?

I really love plants and flowers in general, however Peonies are one of my many faves!! 

Favourite colour(s)?

Pink, blue, purple, black, white, and gray

What do you always doodle (if you ever do)?

Umm yeah I always doodling, but I try not to because I want to be able to focus in class haha. 

How do you take your coffee/tea? If you don’t like those what’s your fav warm drink?

It probably like 20% coffee and 80% french vanilla cream nfksjfgsbjg sometimes I add a lil milk too 

Favourite candle scent?

Anything flowery, but i really like sweet pea smell lol. I don’t any candles yet, so I don’t quite know which I like more yet. Soorrryy

Sunrise or Sunset?

Sunset! The colors are soo pretty and like it doesn’t require me to wake up from my sleep lmfao. The transitions of day and night it just so beautiful! and the stars that start peeking through the dark sky! 

What perfume do you wear if any?

I don’t wear perfume? I have them at home but in my opinion I feel like if you’ve showered and smell nice why try to mix more scents onto you?? and I don’t really need it? DONT WORRY I AM CLEAN NFJSNJF idk if I make any sense

What’s your go to dance move when you’re alone?

-

Favourite quote?

“The moon is friend for the lonesome to talk to.” ― Carl Sandburg 

&  “We ran as if to meet the moon.” ― Robert Frost  

& also 

“The moon and stars just for you my love” - Me lol 

Favourite self care thing(s) or routine(s)?

Umm... Drawing. Showering and putting a face mask afterwards. Painting my nails. It’s more like small things, especially like painting my nails and drawings are things I can’t do often because I try to focus on school, because ik I’m bad at focusing. Sleeping and reminding to just eat, when I get too busy and focused I tend to skip meals. njfkdsnfj s

Fuzzy socks or House slippers?

OMFG BOTH THAT’S LIKE THE BEST COMBO! I have these pinky and purple house slippers I got aND IT’S FUZZY KSFJ SK IT’S SOOO CUTE OMG!! I love. nfjdnfd 

What colour are your eyes? 

Dark Brown

What’s your favourite eye colour on others?

Hazel, black, and gray

Favourite season? why?

Autumn and Winter (Ik contradicts with my name) but I love the rain! and cloudy weather! The sound of rain is calming and being inside while hearing the rain is nice. I really love Spring too when the flowers begin to bloom and like it’s a fresh type of feeling when spring hits lol.

Cheek, neck or nose kisses?

SJFNKFS Honestly depends on my mood  (´•/// ω \\\•`) but I like cheek kisses because softtt

What does your happy place look like?

My room on a rainy day with my fairy lights flickering

Favourite breed of dog?

YO OKAY SO I SAW THIS FB POST ABOUT THIS DOG BEAR AND I WANT A DOG BEAR IDK WHAT THEY’RE CALLED JKFDFHKSF. My dad is a dog breeder as a side business, so I grew up with pitbulls, pocket pits, american bull dogs, frenches, and now ‘exotics’ are the trend atm. 

Do you ever want to be married? If so what colours would you pick for your wedding theme?

Umm yes and no? I’m not sure. If I have an American wedding I like to stick to a traditional white with maybe a peach and light pink here and there, but for sure I would love to do a traditional Hmong wedding. 

Silk or Lace?

Silk feels nice, but I like lace too :)

Favorite weather?

SF type of weather 

[sherlocktheicefairy]

I Cannot Remember When We First Met

I can’t remember... I contemplate my next word, when my lamp falls, it’s almost like the world is trying to tell me to be quiet. Trying to distract me from screaming my story into the abyss, a story that I have yearned to tell someone for years even though it still unfolds. That is the tragedy, I have these extraordinary people in my life that I trust beyond measure and no one knows this story, at least not all of it. Different parts are known to different people but only I have the full picture.But again the world distracts me, using my creative faculties against myself, the lengths this story will go to remain untold. I cannot remember when we first met. How unfortunate is that, such an anticlimactic way to start a story that is so rich in human emotion and fantastical in meaning, to me at least. But it’s true, I do not remember the first time we met. She claims it was in the library a few weeks after I started school. Apparently, she smiled brightly at me and I smiled shyly back whispering a vague hello. She almost certainly felt sorry for me, I had just moved across the world and my skin was still clearing up from the mess it had been from when I had lived in Australasia. But anyway that, according to her, is how we met, the ‘grand opening’ to this tale. All I remember is she was present in my life from very early on, never really talking but just nods of recognition as we walked to class. She had her locker very close to mine so perhaps she felt obligated to smile at me in order to avoid awkwardness when we were packing up to go home at the end of the day. A year passes and I’ve developed some social skills and had acquired a few friends. No longer was I the loner in the library but I had one great friend and a few humble acquaintances to which I didn’t mind spending some time with. We started to come close in year 9. It was a glorious British Saturday morning and my best friend had developed a pretty sincere crush on a girl who is friends with the subject matter at hand. His parents are very religious and so ban him from having a girlfriend until he is 16, so they develop an emotional relationship, which mostly unfolds over the phone. Anyway, our school used to hold an annual May Fair to raise money for whatever new building they had planned and we attended, me with my best friend and his crush with the subject of this long winded story, who happens to be her good friend. I am giving pause because I don’t know how to continue without naming her. I don’t wish to use her actual name but any vague descriptor seems both cringeworthy and shallow. The truth is, she means more to me than any word could ever possibly hope to encapsulate. I’ve decided to call her C, so dear reader meet my beloved C. Near the end of the May Fair, my best friend (K), his crush, C and I decide to go to the local park to hang out. I don’t remember much about what happened but it was good fun, we teased my friend and his crush for being hopelessly besotted with each other and got rather deep about our lives as 15 year olds tend to do. We did however play a game of ‘truth or dare’ in which I dared my best friend to kiss his crush, which was met with a rather disappointing result as he politely declined the dare. Later on confiding to me he didn’t want his first kiss with her to be because of a dare. The importance we placed on such small gestures was very cute but given the next part of the story, perhaps I’m being hypocritical. To get back at me, my friends crush dared me to kiss C. To which I did rather tenderly and judging from my experiences now, my memory recalls it not being a bad kiss, but I may be remembering through rose tinted lenses and must accept the fact that it could have been quite an awful one. Being 15 years old, having kissed her once, I decided I rather fancied C and spent the next year trying to pursue her, to no avail. After the infamous kiss, C and I started to text every night, I would stay up for hours with her having incredibly deep conversations. As we slowly got to know each other better, she let her guard down and it was revealed that she suffered from depression and harmed herself semi-regularly. I was her sole confidante, she had been refraining to tell her mother for fear of causing angst and reprising judgement, she couldn’t even bring herself to see a therapist as this was heavily stigmatised by her family. So I did my best, being the only support she had, we talked forever about her feelings and her self-harm. We started an exercise where she would try to make it a fortnight without cutting herself and every time she thought of it, she had to come to me to talk through her issues to see if this helped. I had tried this with another friend of mine with quite a lot of success, my main goal was to stop her hurting herself physically and it has been a long time (years) since she has harmed herself, to which I am immensely proud. We stayed up so late talking that the whole of year 9 and some of 10 were a complete blur, as corroborated by her. We were so sleep deprived that we could barely remember what we actually studied that year. I can definitely attest my prowess at needing little sleep to function to C and that year of extremely late nights. In hindsight, this was pretty damaging but completely worth it, if I was awake, it meant C wasn’t alone with her thoughts and therefore less likely to have a panic attack or hurt herself. A lot of pressure to put on a kid of 14, but I was determined to help her. This routine stayed the same with C for a while. Until our relationship turned into the friendship equivalency of a rollercoaster, being either inseparable or not talking at all. Whilst my memory can assign most of the blame to my emotional immaturity and a little bit of immaturity on her part (dare I say). We did have a mutual person in our life who was jealous of our relationship and did everything in her power to manipulate me in turning against her. Something to this day, I absolutely regret and wish I had not been so naive. The effects of the tumultuous nature of our relationship ricocheting through our friend groups and causing a fair amount of drama, much to the pleasure of our mutual friend, who I imagine took great pride in this destruction. In Year 10, we attended a Halloween party at this mutual ‘friends’ house. She dressed up as Hermione Granger, with a grey skirt, white shirt, red tie and wand. I remember seeing her get out of the Uber and just being taken aback, she blew Hermione out of the water, she was more intelligent, more sincere and more beautiful. This is saying something as I’ve read the Harry Potter series over 15 times and is my number 1 childhood series. I should have definitely tried to kiss her that night. One of my regrets in our relationship. That summer at the end of year 10, one I will never forget. Glorious weather, amazing friendships, freedom and the ability to obtain alcohol. We decided to have a gath at the infamous ODP in which about half our year attended. We ate Nando’s beforehand and made our way to the gath, laughing and joking as year 10s do about the previous school year and what lies ahead of us as future year 11s. C came an hour later with her friends and by this time some of us were a little tipsy, sharing mint liqueur, wine and a bottle of Malibu between us. Hours passed and a girl had to be picked up by her mother as she had an early curfew, I offered to walk her to the road as it was getting dark, about 10 minutes away. C came with and rather weirdly a big rugby boy tagged along too. About 200m further we hit a line of trees and C receives a call from her friend needing help so she has to turn back, the rugby guy offered to go back with her. I don’t know what it was but it all seemed rather ominous and I just felt off, like something terribly wrong was going to happen. C was adamant on going back and I remember pleading with my eyes for her to stay, she brushed me off and went back with the rugby boy in tow. I still hadn’t shaken this impending sense of tragedy and quickly dropped the girl off and ran back. I didn’t know why but I ran back, I just felt like I had no other choice, I saw two figures in the dark and called out to them asking who they were, it happened to be two strangers. I kept running for a few minutes and started to shout C’s name, desperate to find her. I hit the trees and called out again, she responded and I felt this wave of relief wash over me. I asked if she was ok and she responded that she was cold, the rugby boy was present but stayed absolutely silent. C quickly started to walk back and I marched after her asking what was wrong and trying to get her to wear my jacket, which she eventually did. I then reached out to touch her arm and she recoiled like I’d burned her from my touch, I never had seen such fear in someone’s eyes before, hollow, wild and confused. I can still picture them today and I’m shaking just recalling the haunting loneliness I saw in her beautiful blue eyes. C left rather quickly and the boys came back home with me, K kept running off and I rugby tackled him to the ground, not once but twice. We got on the right bus and finally made it home, hailing them upstairs to my bedroom so as not to encounter my parents while under the influence. We f*cked about for a couple hours and I received a snapchat from C asking if I was awake. I stayed up texting her until 7am the next morning when she finally fell asleep. She had just been sexually assaulted by the rugby boy, and I had left her with him. The guilt I felt stayed with me for a few years as me and C relived those moments over and over. I don’t feel guilty about it now, I couldn’t have known and had no reason to suspect. The most important lesson I took from this, I knew that something was wrong, I trusted my instincts, but should have gone even further to keep C by my side. I think that night, it was the night that the Moirai bound our life strings together. I remember my best friend (K), who I mentioned above in the May Fair drama, and my other best friend, H, and I all went on a trip to Wales for Duke of Edinburgh which also included K’s longtime crush (yes, the same one from the May Fair and the person determined to end me and C once and for all, we shall call her Y), H’s crush and C. On the last day of camping, we all were at the same campsite with no adult supervision and decided to relax in our tent. Naturally, K, Y, H and H’s crush got more intimate and proceeded to cuddle. C and I weren’t quite comfortable with this, as there were a lot of emotions that had yet to come out, despite both of us being deeply in love with each other at the time. Y manipulated this event and C’s unwillingness to be physically more intimate, taking me aside later that evening to tell me that C had fallen for my best friend, K, which cut me quite literally to the core. I did not speak to C for the rest of the year, and the year after that, making it near the end of year 11 when we next reconciled. Whilst obviously Y had seriously manipulated me and abused our friendship, as we had also been quite close, the fact I could remove C so completely from my life, like cutting off a functional limb, was frightening. I had a full year without C in my life. Whilst I was not alone and I was surrounded with friends, that year I felt empty. I remember talking to my parents and friends, they all recall that year, it was as if my personality had been reduced by 20%, usually loud, boisterous and passionate, my spark had left me. I was a hollowed out version of myself, pale and withdrawn from a lack of sleep and a lack of C. My grandfather died in January 2017, we were incredibly close and his reasonably sudden loss shook me, far more than I had anticipated. I remember lying in bed in my grandmothers house yearning for C, her voice, her presence, her touch. I received a message of condolence from her the next day and I think my blood pressure spiked to something extraordinary when I saw her name on the notification. For a slight second, I forgot about our falling out and we were together again. I was a proud bastard and replied with one word “thanks”... it took me an hour to compose that message, there was so much I wanted to say, so much I wanted her to know; however, pride runs strong in my blood and so I sent her a one word text instead of saying all the things I should have said. Eventually, life became too grey and melancholy without her. I sucked up my pride and told her that I had f*cked up in a more articulate and apologetic manner. She accepted my apology but said our relationship may never be the same. I had cut off ties one too many time and hurt her a lot. It was something I had to accept and begrudgingly moved on. We spent the summer physically apart, she was visiting family in Latin America and Europe whilst I worked in London... I don’t think I went two hours without texting her, with the exception of a couple of hours of sleep. Even still, a good chunk of the night was dedicated to being with her. It was a fantastic summer and I fell even harder in love with her, something to which I wasn’t aware was possible. We started off the sixth form inseparable. Both badly in love with each other but neither one daring to say that to the other for fear of breaking what we already had. I want to start the next part of the story but I have to save it for when I’m fresh and have truly thought about what I wanted to say. The next part of the story is one of my life’s special moments, something that will be fondly remembered for all eternity. In fact, I’m thinking of her now, a very specific part of her. She has this look, I’ve experienced it twice in my life, both times when we were dancing. This look pierces your thoughts, shattering them into a thousand pieces and so all you can do is smile. This look is so flirty, I can only compare it to the songs of the Sirens, which they say drove men so mad they would drown themselves swimming to the cliffs where they sang. I am convinced this flirtatious gaze is more powerful, it could convince me to do absolutely anything and I wouldn’t even question it. Her eyes sparkle and flash with the music, full of joy and wonderfully care free, all your worries just melt away and you’re enveloped with this chaotic energy of pure joy. All this from her gaze, one should consider themselves truly fortunate if they ever get to experience a moment as breathtaking as this. I am procrastinating starting the next part for fear of not being able to truly recapture the moment with my words. The dog is asleep on my lap, snoring a little bit. I feel almost nervous to recount a moment that means so much to me, in fact I wonder if it’s even worth telling my story, if it’ll make a difference. A little voice in my head says I have to finish it, so I choose to persevere. The first moment occurred on April 18 2018, the first year of sixth form. My parents and sister have gone for the week to Spain, leaving me home alone. I naturally acquire some booze and invite my best friends over to hang out. The tequila slammers went down well, all 6 of us nicely drunk and care free. A song called ‘Hips Don’t Lie’ by Shakira comes on and which blasts from the kitchen speakers making it very audible in the garden and she turns her head suddenly to me. She’s wearing a red tube top, blue jeans and is barefoot. She turns to me and stares with these piecing blue eyes, I’m convinced the power of this stare makes me take a step back, I’m almost too afraid to look away, but even if I could, I wouldn’t want to. She shakes her hips, a trait inherited from her Latin ancestors, and approaches me, not breaking her gaze. I grab her by the hips, not breaking eye contact and we dance. Not worried by the onslaught of school, social pressures or parental angst. The raw chemistry radiating from both our bodies as we dance, it makes me shiver to think about it even now. That was the first time I’ve felt invincible, with her, dancing under the setting English sun, my friends by my side. We talk about privilege a lot these days. With the BLM protests and rising awareness of inequality. It is all spectacularly true, shocking and ridiculously disappointing. In some ways, the most ‘privileged’ are in fact not the ones we should strive to resemble. I’m not sure they have ever truly lived in the moment like I have, with this woman I had and always will have, by my side, being completely care free, together, with no regard to life unfolding before our eyes. The feeling that you could have been offered unlimited wealth and turned it down as easily as you do to the people collecting for charity on the street. We stayed basically inseparable until May when it changed. We decided to go out alone together on a Friday. I chose my favourite tapas bar in Twickenham. We dropped our things off at her house and caught the bus and train there. I was wearing a blue polo shirt and suit pants and she was equally well dressed. We stayed for hours eating tapas at this restaurant, laughing and joking. She didn’t even get IDed and got through two cocktails, which looked utterly revolting. After, we walked for an hour stopping at this marvellous old house covered in ivy and dark blue/purple flowers which matched my shirt. We couldn’t resist but take some pictures, lovely keepsakes which I still reminisce about. Nothing happened on that date, I use that word with confidence as it definitely was one even if we didn’t know it at the time, but it didn’t need to, it was just a joyous evening to be with one another with no one else around, time which we had almost never had. I look back on that now and think how could I have done what I did next, having experienced that night. I met another girl the next day for a date, who became my girlfriend for a year. We distanced shortly after, C was jealous and I was tired of constantly being rejected. This was true, I had thrown myself at C’s feet regularly, getting wholeheartedly rejected every time. So going on that date right after that special night, I understand why now. I wanted to try move on, whilst we did have an incredibly special connection, she was driving me insane and I was longing for us to go further, which for various reasons that are quite understandable and I definitely respect, she could not bring herself to take those next steps with me. We rekindled our close connection after my girlfriend came and went. It was never quite the same but we were both happy to be present in each other’s lives once again. She had a boyfriend at this time but I wasn’t ready to try again with her, so it suited me just fine, even if there was a twinge of jealousy whenever she brought him up. We supported each other through A-Levels and had another great summer together. We were expecting to go to university together but this changed at the last moment, I had changed my mind about what I wanted to study and also missed out a grade due to illness during the exam. I needed a break from English society, a toll which had been taken quite silently until a sudden realisation late that summer. So I decided to move across the pond and start up university there. Leaving her was emotional, for the both of us but we both knew it needed to happen, we did have exciting lives outside of each other, which seems ridiculous because even though she is one of the most important people to me, there are huge swathes of my life that she isn’t a part of, not yet at least. We started texting the other day, it is the exact same as it always is, no matter how long it has been since we last spoke, I can pick up the phone and we resume the story of our lives as if no time has passed at all. What is even crazier is that this is only the first chapter of our lives together and there is so much more to come. The select events I’ve spoken about, they represent a tiny fraction of our relationship and I’ve left out some incredible moments as well as some darker ones. Like the time I broke down in the car on the way to school in front of my mom, the time I professed my love for her, the time when we just sat in silence enjoying each other’s presence or the countless times I’ve come to her as she’s struggled with her own mind.