#why did i decide to use white text??? i've tried black but Idk

[butterfilledpockets]

PHEW that one took a WHILE! hid lottsa little details in this time :)

I am so excited for all these guys to meet (I have written the dialogue and drawn teh thumbnails) I really hope you guys liked this one because i am actually quite proud of these pages :D

previous ---- part 10 ---- next

[cielsosinfel]

I haven't done a reading log update in a while, but that's mostly because I have been struggling to finish books for the last few months (finish much of anything tbh. College and volunteering keeping me busy)

Some books I've finished mostly-recently:

Kindred by Butler: I found this a lot more meaningful a read than Parable. The characters and their relationships carry the entire story, which is... a lot different than Parable lol. And it opens SO STRONGLY. It's harrowing, and painful, and masterfully paced, and I love the main character Dana so, so much. I don't feel like I can speak much on this book considering the subject matter, but I do think it is one of the most thoughtfully written novels about trauma bonding (in a VERY specific context of Black people living under white supremacy and colonialism , and slavery in specific) I have read.

Jamaica Inn by du Maurier: I finished this like, yesterday, and I have mixed thoughts. When I first started reading it I was super engaged and speeding through it- it has all the baggage you'd expect from a white upper-class writer from 1930s Britain, but I liked the flow of the prose, and I really liked Mary as a protagonist, her drive toward action and her response to trauma, to the trauma her aunt is going through (though I also have thoughts there about the number of times her aunt is compared to a child.) I did think it was interesting that the novel is basically about the misogyny women must live through from men, even while it's bogged down by the author's own misogyny unquestioningly regurgitated as basic truths throughout the text.

But the last bit was just kind of ehhhh. There's a lot of very uncomfortable ideas around "evilness" being an immutable quality you are born with, something genetic (the Merlyns... even though Mary rides off with Jem Merlyn in the end, the fact he's "tainted" by his bloodline is never really contested, she just decides she'd rather risk the unpredictability of life with a criminal man that go back to the comfort and safety of her birth village), and (visible) disability being a sign of "evilness" and depravity (what the FUCK was up with the plot twist with the albino pastor being a secret evil pagan lmao lmao I thought it was interesting he was being framed as sexually predatory given he was the religious leader of a village and well-respected, albeit also impossible to trust due to the albinism being "sinister" and "abnormal" and "inhuman," but then sike, he's just an evil pagan wannabe. I guess to a contemporary reader the albinism alone would have been a sign he's not a truly moral upstanding Christian like he tries to appear as? idk)

Also there's a lot of racist elements to how Mary's uncle is described on top of the "he's evil because his father was evil because his father was evil etc" shit. (He's a white Brit but the language used....) and there are like several really erotically charged scenes where he shows mary how easy it'd be for him to sexually violate her, which is, well, something.

i don't regret reading it, I think it did illuminate a lot of why some trends in M/F romantic fiction exist. but jeez. a lot of thoughts.

i always writ ethe most about books i didn't like!!!

I've also been reading a lot of books about... whaling lol specifically in the context of 19th century US history.

The one book I finished was:

Black Hands, White Sails: The Story of African-American Whalers by Patricia McKissack and Frederick McKissack: TBH I only finished this because it's very short. I didn't realize it was "juvenile nonfiction" when I checked it out (not surprising actually, Patricia McKissack was a famous children's book author and wrote some of MY favorite childhood Royal Diaries books), so the writing is very simple, brief, doesn't go into too much detail about anything, and does try to present history almost like a storybook "narrative" to keep a child reader's attention. It's not badly written but it was not what I was hoping for or really want to read as an adult lol

I do think this was a good introduction to a history I have never once read about though- that is, the history of African-American men and women in the US whaling industry, how the whaling industry was inextricably linked to the Trans-Atlantic slave trade and also to abolition efforts, and the little-acknowledged-in-the-modern-day racial, ethnic and cultural diversity of whaling crews. It was one of the few occupations willing to hire free Black Americans, and also one of the few that people who escaped slavery had a chance of being hired onto with little questions asked (heavily due to the fact the early whaling industry formed in Nantucket which was a Quaker stronghold. And also heavily due to the fact they basically had to put up with insane amounts of economic exploitation if they didn't want to end up back in slavery.)

I think this is also a good intro to whaling as an industry in general. And it has a very good bibliography.

Besides this, I checked out a bunch of ancient tomes from the 1920s or earlier about whaling history from the public library, and some primary sources from my college's library (the journal of Mary Chapman Lawrence, a "whaling wife," and the journal of Nelson Cole Haley, a harpooner.) But I have... not made much progress on them cus I'm bogged down on other things. oops.

[hoseokslefteyebrow]

You've Met With A Terrible Fate, Haven't You? || BEN DROWNED

Pairing : Yandere! Ben Drowned X Reader

Genre : Fluff, Angst, Yandere

Summary : Appears as a normal dude, but plot twist he's really not.

Wordcount: 4k lol

WARNINGS : This is fic is labeled as Yandere, for those who don't know what it means: "Somebody who is sweet and kind at first glance. But when it comes to their love (crush)they will act obsessive and violent." - Urban dictionary, poorly (but still disgustingly) described dead people, I know Ben originally doesn't kill but in the story he does, idk? Shit written¿ 

Also disclaimer this is my first time I've tried doing a yandere and it's obviously not my strongest point. Hope you enjoy either way.

You glance at the abandoned game console which your friend had dumped at your place earlier this day.

According to him, something was very, very, wrong with it. The Nintendo 64 was old, of course, but your friend mentioned not being able to pass the boss battle. He mentioned something along the lines of 'it keeps glitching and Link keeps dying'. In other words ' I know you're a hacker and I suck at this game, please hack it for me so I can feel less like a loser'.

You keep writing the email you're supposed to sent to your boss for another thirty minutes, before letting your curiosity lead you. 

Before you know it, you've plugged in the old console with more cables than originally planned because of how old it is, and with how modern your tv is. The first odd thing that strikes you is that there's only one account on it, and it's not labeled with your friend's name. 

Instead of 'Noah', it's labeled with 'BEN DROWNED' in bold passive aggressive letters.

Simply pushing it to the back of your mind, you start playing.

The second odd thing about the game is that the game has a specific date and it mentions how far BEN, or well, Noah is in the game. Yet when you click it, you have to start all over.

You shrug that off too, simply noting it as the game being old.

Before you know it, several hours pass, and you're finally at the boss battle Noah mentioned. Deciding to see if you can beat it first, you do not plug your laptop in at the Nintendo 64, and opt to play instead.

However just like Noah mentioned, you die as soon as you're close to winning and the game starts glitching.

It takes you barely ten minutes before you're fed up with it, and soon enough you plug your laptop in. You start up some programs and open up a few sites, quickly starting to work. Your fingers glide over the keys of your laptop as you type in the codes in order to hack the game, however after a few minutes, the game starts glitching heavily, and suddenly there's a sentence in bold red letters on the screen of your tv.

' YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE THAT'

It says before the glitching becomes way too much, and some weird kind of red circle appears. Your eyes widen before unplugging the tv and game console, forgetting that your laptop is connected to it.

You miss the small glitches on the laptop screen.

- - - ᒪᓍᗩᕲᓰᘉᘜ - - -

He gritts his teeth as the access to his portal is suddenly denied, the power cut early enough to avoid him.

His red eyes wander in the green coded space, looking for an exit, something that'll make sure he can get his hands on whoever this is. Lucky for him, there's a small white space what'll lead to the outside of it.

Once he's trough, he realizes he's still close to his victim. In fact, he's even closer now.

He smirks as he realizes.

Killing her is fair game now.

- - - ᒪᓍᗩᕲᓰᘉᘜ - - - ᖴᓰᒪᘿ ᓍᘉᘿ - - »

You tap your chin as you look as the items on the shelf.

" Should I get the red one or green one?" You mumble to yourself.

" I'd recommend the green one. Green is always better." A voice from behind you startles you.

You whip your head around to look at the stranger who's talking to you.

Behind you is a male you don't recognise from anywhere. And as you start to study him, you realize he's quite handsome. He's got blonde hair, blue eyes and a rosy skin colour. He's wearing black ripped jeans, a dark green shirt, along with a black zip up hoodie, which is left open, he's got a few black ear piercings in his right ear, and has a gold chain around his neck, which disappears beneath his shirt, weighed down by a charm hidden away from your eyes. To top it all of, he's got a matching dark green beanie on top of his messily styled bangs.

" What? Did I say something wrong?" The blonde boy suddenly sweats.

You smile and shake your head.

" No, you didn't. I just tough I was alone here." You smile at him.

ØⱧ ₴₩ɆɆ₮ⱧɆ₳Ɽ₮, ɎØɄ Ⱨ₳VɆ₦'₮ ฿ɆɆ₦ ₳ⱠØ₦Ɇ ₣ØⱤ ₳ VɆⱤɎ ⱠØ₦₲ ₮ł₥Ɇ ₦Ø₩.

" I take that you talk to yourself then?" The male spits at you.

You're not sure if that's meant offensive or not.

" Um, yeah? I tend to do that sometimes yeah." You say, looking down at your hands who're still holding the red silk scarf and green silk scarf.

Đø₦'₮ ฿ɇ ₳₣ɽ₳łđ, ł ₩ø₦'₮ ⱨʉɽ₮ ɏøʉ. Øɽ ₩łⱡⱡ ł?

The unknown male's eyes soften subconsciously, looking at you with an emotion you're not familiar with.

" My name is Ben. What's yours?" 

Ben? Haven't you heard that somewhere before?

You smile at him, oblivious to the fact that you're talking to a killer.

" I'm Y/N. Nice to meet you Ben."

- - - ᒪᓍᗩᕲᓰᘉᘜ - - - ᖴᓰᒪᘿ ᓍᘉᘿ - - - » ���ᐸᘉᓰᐺᘿS ᓍᖇ ᕼᘿᗩᖇᖶS ? ¿ »

His mind flooded with ideas.

There's so many options on what he can do to her.

Should he mess with her laptop?

Should he just kill her now?

Or should he become closer?

Maybe he should.

He looks at her trough the screen of the laptop, which is almost always open, today not being any different.

He watches her as while she watches something behind the laptop, from the sounds he can hear trough the mic, she's most likely watching tv.

Perhaps he should become closer to her.

Pull her closer only to have her blood staining his hands.

Oh yes, her blood shall soon become his.

- - - ᒪᓍᗩᕲᓰᘉᘜ - - - ᖴᓰᒪᘿ ᓍᘉᘿ - - - » ᖽᐸᘉᓰᐺᘿS ᓍᖇ ᕼᘿᗩᖇᖶS  ? ¿ » - - - ₭₦łvɇ₴

She doesn't realize it when her laptop suddenly starts itself up, nor does she know that there's a figure crawling out of it.

He stared at her with deciphering eyes, silently wondering how she isn't dead yet.

If this was anyone else, he'd had them killed already. Their blood would already be staining his face and she would already be screaming in pain and dispair.

Yet here she was, laying peacefully on her bed. Asleep, obviously not dead. 

He wonders exactly what he should do next. She doesn't know that he's standing right next to her. It almost makes him laugh.

She doesn't even know that he exists.

She doesn't know that he's here.

He glares at her before moving back into the world of codes and technology.

For now, she lives.

- - - ᒪᓍᗩᕲᓰᘉᘜ - - - ᖴᓰᒪᘿ ᓍᘉᘿ - - - » ᖽᐸᘉᓰᐺᘿS ᓍᖇ ᕼᘿᗩᖇᖶS  ? ¿ » - - - ₭₦łvɇ₴ - - - ᖴᗩᓰᒪ

" And then it suddenly started glitching and stuff. Weird isn't it?" You finish off your story as you look at your new friend, Ben.

After meeting in the grocery store, he had suddenly texted you. 

Not knowing how he got your number, you got concerned, and asked him. According to him, you had given it to him yourself. At first you didn't believe him, until he told you to check the time of his first message, which somehow was indeed around the same time you were in the grocery store. After that you just shrugged it off as that you forgot it yourself. After all, you knew yourself to be a person with the memory of a goldfish.

Today the two of you met up again, for the fourth time this week.

" Odd indeed. What did you do after that?" Ben asked, acting as if he's interested, even tough he's really not.

" I unplugged it. I think I'm gonna lay off hacking for a while." You shrugged, taking a sip of your drink.

Before he could even think of a response, there was an unknown woman at your table, also holding a cup of coffee.

" Y/N? Long time no see." The new woman greeted you with a smile, sitting down beside you on the booth.

Ben scowled at the newcomer.

Ⱨø₩ đ₳ɽɇ ₴ⱨɇ ₴ł₮ ฿ɇ₴łđɇ ₩ⱨ₳₮'₴ ₥ł₦ɇ ₩ł₮ⱨøʉ₮ ₥ɏ ₱ɇɽ₥ł₴₴łø₦

" Hey, Sara. It's indeed been too long. How are you?" You started chatting with Sara.

Meanwhile Ben's anger only grew.

" My names Ben." Ben suddenly dryly joined your conversation as he slammed his drink down onto the table aggressively, looking straight into Sara's eyes.

" Sorry. Didn't see you there. I'm Sara nice to mee-"

" Yeah, yeah, whatever. Leave. We didn't invite you to come sit with us." Ben spat at her, looking at her with an intense look in his eyes.

Both you and your friend turned to look at him in confusion.

" Is something wrong with me being here? Did I offend you?" Sara asked, genuinely concerned.

Ben was fuming now, on the inside. Who does this girl think she is? First she comes to sit at their table uninvited, then she's capturing the attention of his new favorite plaything, and now she's questioning him? She has to go.

- - - ᒪᓍᗩᕲᓰᘉᘜ - - - ᖴᓰᒪᘿ ᓍᘉᘿ - - - » ᖽ���ᘉᓰᐺᘿS ᓍᖇ ᕼᘿᗩᖇᖶS  ? ¿ » - - - ₭₦ŁVɆ₴ - - - ᖴᗩᓰᒪ - - - ᖇᘿᗷᓍᓍᖶ SᖻSᖶᘿᘻ

He heard her conversation with a male he certainly doesn't know trough her phone, using the microphone without her knowing.

According to what he knows, they're on a date. And according to her contacts, his name is Jaime. He can't find where they met, nor did he know why they met up.

But now that she's checked her reflexion one too many times, and made a pic of her full outfit to send to him, probably to mock him for not having her, ɏɇ₮, he realizes that she's on a date.

After some research by surfing quite literally trough the internet. It turned out this 'Jaime' person was Mexican, and had a soft persona. On his facebook page were pictures where he's working with animals or doing volunteers' work or overall just something where he's helping others. He found the black haired male pathetic, weak even.

In all honesty, even he himself didn't really find him a threat. Not when he looked like that and was overall just kind and bambi looking.

However, all his expectations are thrown out of the window when he hears them say their goodbyes.

" You know, I had a lot of fun tonight. You're really a nice person. In fact, I'd like to go on another date with you again." This voice was definitely that of a male's, probably Jaime.

" I agree. I had a lot of fun too." She said.

₣Ʉ₦? ⱧØ₩ ₵₳₦ Ł₮ ฿Ɇ ₳₦Ɏ ₣Ʉ₦ ₩Ł₮ⱧØɄ₮ ₥Ɇ?

" Good. Do you have a ride or would you like me to drive you home?-" He blocks out the rest of their conversation.

It appears that the good guy needs to go too.

- - - ᒪᓍᗩᕲᓰᘉᘜ - - - ᖴᓰᒪᘿ ᓍᘉᘿ - - - » ᖽᐸᘉᓰᐺᘿS ᓍᖇ ᕼᘿᗩᖇᖶS  ? ¿ » - - - ₭₦ŁVɆ₴ - - - ᖴᗩᓰᒪ - - - ᖇᘿᗷᓍᓍᖶ SᖻSᖶᘿᘻ - - - ᖇᘿᗷᓍᓍᖶ ᑢᓍᘻᕵᒪᘿᖶᘿ - ᓍᕵᘿᘉ ᖴᓰᒪᘿ ∆

" We should spend more time together." Ben says randomly as the two of you snuggle on the couch.

You giggle, your ears tinting red.

" We're already together all the time tough." You tell him softly.

" I know, but still. By the way, did your stupid date reply yet?" He asked, eyes focused on the tv in front of the two of you.

" No, and don't call him stupid." You pout, softly scolding him.

₲ØØĐ

He grins at you with mysterious eyes.

You shrug it off, knowing it's part of him. The two of you have been hanging out for a while now. Almost three months to be precise. And you two have gotten very close. What used to be keeping distance and keeping the line between acquaintances and friends, had turned into friends or something more. You two almost hung out every day, you were basically attached to each other's hip now.

After a few peacefull moments, you excused yourself to the bathroom.

Right as you left, your phone rang.

He turned to look at the disturbing sound  his eyes widening at the name which is appearing on the screen.

 SARA

He stumbled over the couch to pick it up, an unpleasant feeling of suprise rising whitin him.

" Y/N?! You have to listen to me! Ben is not who you think he is! He's this-"

" I'm this what?" Ben smirked.

Damn you were taking a long time in the bathroom, not that he minded.

The other end of the line was dead silent.

" Don't worry. You don't need to say anything. I'll come home soon. And trust me, once I am, you will never be able to speak a word again." He spoke, an eerie calm in his voice.

" Goodbye, Sara." He said before hanging up.

" Sara called?" Your voice suddenly startled him.

" What? Oh, yeah. But she was in a hurry so she said she'd call you later." He smiled innocently.

You nodded and the two of you resumed watching the movie.

" Isn't there a way, that we could spend more time together?" He suddenly wondered out loud.

You sighed and turned to face him.

" I'm sorry Ben, but I have a job and I like spending time with other people too. So I'm afraid not." You told him softly.

An idea coded itself into his mind.

JɄ₴₮ ₮ⱤɄ₴₮ ₥Ɇ, ɎØɄ'ⱠⱠ ฿Ɇ ₥Ł₦Ɇ ₴ØØ₦

- - - ᒪᓍᗩᕲᓰᘉᘜ - - - ᖴᓰᒪᘿ ᓍᘉᘿ - - - » ᖽᐸᘉᓰᐺᘿS ᓍᖇ ᕼᘿᗩᖇᖶS  ? ¿ » - - - ₭₦ŁVɆ₴ - - - ᖴᗩᓰᒪ - - - ᖇᘿᗷᓍᓍᖶ SᖻSᖶᘿᘻ - - - ᖇᘿᗷᓍᓍᖶ ᑢᓍᘻᕵᒪᘿᖶᘿ - ᓍᕵᘿᘉ ᖴᓰᒪᘿ ∆ - - - ᕲᓍᘺᘉᒪᓍᗩᕲᓰᘉᘜ

You sighed in dispair in the night air as you walked home. Once again, you were rejected in a job interview.

A few days ago you were fired from the job you actually liked. You couldn't understand why either. You didn't do anything wrong, you were quite hardworking and always finished the documents in time.

Your supervisor looked afraid, terrified even when he told you to immediately pack your bags and leave, and ever since you just can't seem to get in anywhere. Not even the gas station wanted you in charge.

" Well hello there. What do we have here." A creepy voice suddenly sounded from behind you.

You turned around only to be greeted by a man with a creepy smile and even creepier, eye lid-less eyes. He was holding a knife, making his intentions obvious.

You didn't need to think twice about his intentions and whipped your phone out of your pocket with the intentions to call the cops and running.

The killer sadly isn't stupid, and has you on the ground under him whitin seconds.

Your phone's screen crack and slides to the other side, the dialed number not pressed on call yet.

" Don't cry sweetheart. It doesn't suit your pretty face. Don't fret, I'll make sure, you'll smile forever. " The killer tells you happily.

Both of you don't realize that your phone screen suddenly lights up in a green colour. Nor does either of you realize the figure crawling out of it.

The both of you don't realize, until the killer is off you and tackled down on the ground beside you.

" I've told you before. She's fucking mine. Go bother someone else." Ben's voice sounds suddenly.

You turn your head to look at him.

This time he does not wear jeans and a sweater. No  this time, he looks like he came straight out of a... Video game? He looks like Link, the main personage of the game which your friend Noah had dropped off at your place around six months ago. 

Ben never told you he was into cosplaying.

Your ears suddenly tinted pink as you realized, he called you his. Suddenly you felt a little giddy, the guy you like so much might actually like you back.

The killer underneath Ben growls out something you can't hear before throwing the shorter off him and leaving.

" Are you okay?" You ask him.

He turns to you with red eyes.

Red. Fucking. Eyes.

And that's not the only thing about his eyes that changed.

Instead of the usual white eyes have, his are now black.

And even there it doesn't end.

There's blood running down his eyes onto his cheeks, as if he's crying blood.

You take a step back.

What the fuck is this?

" Don't be afraid! I know I look a little... Weird, but it's all just part of my..... Cosplay." He explains.

You ponder over it.

He's never gave you a reason to not trust you right? Or did he? 

You ignore the instinct to run away from him, instead choosing to calm down and follow your heart, which is telling you to trust him.

" Come with me. You can stay at my place tonight." Ben tells you, holding his hand out to you.

You take it.

₲ØØĐ ⱠŁ₮₮ⱠɆ ₱Ʉ₱₱Ɏ

- - - ᒪᓍᗩᕲᓰᘉᘜ - - - ᖴᓰᒪᘿ ᓍᘉᘿ - - - » ᖽᐸᘉᓰᐺᘿS ᓍᖇ ᕼᘿᗩᖇᖶS  ? ¿ » - - - ₭₦ŁVɆ₴ - - - ᖴᗩᓰᒪ - - - ᖇᘿᗷᓍᓍᖶ SᖻSᖶᘿᘻ - - - ᖇᘿᗷᓍᓍᖶ ᑢᓍᘻᕵᒪᘿᖶᘿ - ᓍᕵᘿᘉ ᖴᓰᒪᘿ ∆ - - - ᕲᓍᘺᘉᒪᓍᗩᕲᓰᘉᘜ - - - ᕲᓍᘺᘉᒪᓍᗩᕲ ᑢᓍᘻᕵᒪᘿᖶᘿ ›

It took longer than expected to reach his house. The whole road to his house is creepy. Ben appartly lives in this supermodern house in the woods.

Which is off already, the woods are known troughout the whole town as mystery. According to urban legends, there's creatures loving in there who shouldn't exist. Because of that, there's barely any people there. According to Ben, everything is all clear and safe, and you trust him with your heart.

You don't question him after his answer and instead follow him into the,indeed very,modern little house which is situated hidden behind the trees.

You get directly hit in the face with a copper scent as soon as you step foot into his house.

" Would you like something to drink?" He asks you as you enter his house, neither of you bothering to take your shoes off.

" Just water please." You tell him as you study the place.

The inside of the small house is more modern than the outside, with a big living space and an open kitchen. There's also three doors in the hallway.

One to the bathroom, one leading upstairs and one leading into the basement.

" Here you go." Ben returns, handing you a glass of water.

" Thanks, aren't you going to take off your make up and lenses?" You ask him.

His smile fades a bit, and for a moment you think you've accidentally offended him, but he nods with a pout before you can think about it twice.

" Yeah, that's probably a good idea. The livingroom is at the end of this hallway, feel free to make yourself comfortable." He smiles before going upstairs.

You stand still for a moment in the hallway as an eerie feeling suddenly starts crawling up your spine.

You ignore it, and instead start walking towards the livingroom.

Until the sound of something falling reaches your ears.

A sound that is directed from the basement.

Your first idea is to call for Ben, to alert him that you two probably aren't alone.

You don't do that however, because it could just be something falling off a shelf, right?

And so you decide to investigate it yourself.

As soon as you open the door to the basement, you're directly hit in the face with a very prominent copper scent. The same on you already smelled when you entered his house, except it's way too strong and there's something eerily familiar about it which you just can't pinpoint.

You silently push the door open, and turn on the lightswitch to the basement. Behind the door is a stony staircase, the rest of the basement is hidden away behind a wall. Curiosity takes over you, and you make your way downstairs before you can think about it twice.

As soon as you near the bottom, you spot blotches of red. The deep red substance is spread like a trail from he bottom stairs onto the rest of the room.

And then it clicks in your mind. It's blood. That's also the smell in the air. Was the intruder injured?

You step down the stairs while following the blood trail with you eyes.

You stumble back in fear and unpleasant suprise at the sight that greets you.

There's dead people down here. Most of which you don't recognise, but a few you do. 

You gasp as you look into a pair of wide blue eyes.

Sara.

She's sitting there, eyes wide open, with cuts all over. There's big ones in her rib case and near her organs, you can even see Intestines spread over the floor.

She's obviously dead.

But how come she's here?

Ben didn't do this? Did he?

Next to her is Jaime, who's eyes are closed but his chest is rising and falling.

He's alive.

You run over to him and shake him awake, not minding the blood that's now on your hands.

" Jaime! Please! Wake up!" You say desperately, tears now escaping your eyes.

" Y/N? Y/N! You have to get out of here. Ben, he's not who you think he is!" He tells you desperately.

" I'm not leaving you! Can you walk?" You ask him trough your tears.

" I'm chipped Y/N, you have to go. Get help. Ben's insane. He's a de-"

" Demon? Mass murderer? Failure? Dead? Is one of those what you wanted to tell her? How dare you lie to her! I'm none of those!" A voice suddenly booms trough the air.

You turn around while starting to shake. Jaime tries to hold you close to him with the little strength he has left. There Ben stands, still with red pupils and black eyes, dried red streaks still on his cheeks.

" Don't fucking touch her." Ben screams angrily, ripping you all but gently away from the male, causing you to tremble against him.

" Don't be afraid my love, he won't touch you again." Ben sushes you.

Is he really thinking that you're afraid of him?

" N-no. Let me go. Do-don't touch me." You tell him, pushing away from him.

He looks confused by your behavior.

" What's wrong baby? Please don't believe whatever lies he told you.-"

" What lies?! That you've killed my friend?! That you've killed these innocent people?! That you've chipped him?!" You yelled.

" They all deserved it Y/N! They're all in the way of our love!" Ben yells back desperately, stepping towards you.

" I don't even know these people!" You say, stepping back into the wall, knocking into a shelf.

You turn around to see what you knocked into.

Wait, is that the Nintendo 64?

" They all stared at you with sick twisted ideas! They really do deserve it." He tells you.

Suddenly it clicks in your mind.

" You're Ben from the game." You state.

He nods.

" Yes bu-"

" How?.."

" You clicked my game onto your computer remember."

" It was you wasn't it? You're the reason I've lost my job. You're the reason my friends all turned their back to me." You wishper, eyes now gathering in your eyes.

You've been so incredibly fucking stupid.

He's the reason your life has turned down the drain.

" Yes. But it's good right. Now we can finally be together." He says like a crazy man in love.

Which he is.

You start sobbing as you fall onto your knees realizing, all these people here. They've all died because of you.

" Hey, don't worry my live. We can now finally be together."

ɎØɄ'VɆ ₥Ɇ₮ ₩Ł₮Ⱨ ₳ ₮ɆⱤⱤŁ฿ⱠɆ ₣₳₮Ɇ, Ⱨ₳VɆ₦'₮ ɎØɄ?

 ᘜ ᗩ ᘻ ᘿ  ᓍ ᐺ ᘿ ᖇ.

[cliquestitsandicks]

Tracking Kat

Episode 1: Kat is mourning the end of her relationship with Adena. It has been 5 weeks since the breakup in Paris. She's still looking at old pictures of them and posted one. She still hasn't sent Adena's equipment to her, even though Adena has been texting her asking for it. By the end of the episode, she's admitted to (in order) Alex, Patrick, and Jane & Sutton that she is not okay. She is still sad about the end of her relationship. Alex tells her "you're so hard on yourself. You got your heart broken. There's no expiration date on heartbreak. You move on when you're ready to move on and when you *are* ready, you will find someone amazing. Someone who will never leave." Then Patrick is an entitled, invasive dick. She told her girls she wasn't ready for it to be real yet and that's why she hadn't told them... but she broke down in front of them. She'd finally accepted it was over. End of the episode, she makes an instagram post exposing her vulnerability to the world and packs up Adena's things for good.

Episode 2: Kat injects Jane for fertility treatment. She is very familiar with Jane's reproductive system at this point - best friends. She learns the Wild Susan, a club Adena took her to that became a safe space she frequents and which happens to be 1 of only TWO lesbian bars in the city, is closing. She learns the only reason it's happening is because developers want to gentrify the neighborhood. We learn Kat has a lawyer (not sure how that may come up later) that she met through the #BeReal campaign. Anyway, Kat throws a queer prom as a fundraiser to help save the Wild Susan. It ultimately fails because $42,000 in one night from poor people is a bit much. But it was a valiant effort and, as Kat learns, the gentrifiers were well aware of its impossibility. This episode is leading up to her political career. "I've been so into my feelings lately, it feels really good to challenge my energy into something that really matters". I am so proud of Kat. In Season 1, I would have worried she was avoiding her feelings, but the writers made a big deal of showing she's done the exact opposite of that in the prior episode.

Episode 3: Kat has been researching councilman Reynolds and he's a total piece of shit - helping gentrifiers, cutting funding to parks, and voting against paid maternity leave. She's fired up. Our girl is P A S S I O N A T E & informed! We meet the councilwoman for whom she plans to volunteer and her campaign manager, Tia. Tia's a tiny, bubbly boss with natural hair and a bright smile and we see Kat brighten up. We later learn she and Kat have more in common, both being NYU grads (actually overlapping while there) and both brilliant. Tia, however, is not from a wealthy and connected background. In their initial meeting, Kat tells Tia "I'm just looking for something to channel my rage and depression". Kat enlists her besties to help get the councilwoman to unseat problematic Reynolds. Sutton clearly sees something between Kat and Tia because she does a friend's background check (checking the social media) and tells Kat she looks very single to which Kat responds "it really doesn't matter because I'm still getting over Adena" and Jane seems skeptical of Kat's protestations with her silent smirk. We learn Kat has really soft lips. Kat is the voice of reason for Alex, being the first one to acknowledge the hypersexual "dangerous" Black man depiction that will likely be projected onto him if he admits he is the man in his friend's story. Then we see her naturally command the crowd at the rally. Again, I am so proud of Kat. She isn't holding back when she knows she should speak up. She's taking control of her narrative. She's fighting for what's right in a constructive manner. And now Tia, who has way more experience with this than Kat, is recommending she run for office.

Episode 4: We start the episode with Kat describing what would be her district and job description to her best friends. She's looking excited about the potential to do something that matters and really help people. In her conversation with the Toby (?. don't know, don't care), we get to see more of Tia being supportive of Kat and Kat being confronted with whether she's motivated to actually run or just wants someone to beat Reynolds. We learn Kat had an abortion in 2013 when she was 20 AS IS HER GOTDAMN RIGHT BECAUSE IT'S HER BODY, but it's something she's felt some sort of shame/concern over seeing as nobody close to her knew about it. Then, and this is so great, after telling her friends she has the conversation with Tia. Tia shares that she's had one as well and completely understands not wanting it to be public knowledge, but in sharing her experience educates Kat on yet another way vulnerable people are having their rights stripped, this time through manipulation and "crisis centers" that shouldn't exist. Tia remains supportive and doesn't pressure Kat at all with her decision. "I am by your side if they come for you, but you gotta do what's right for you". When we get that great speech from Jacqueline we see Kat being moved my the statement that you'll never know what you're capable of if you don't take a leap faith to face challenges that frighten you, then you'll never know what you're capable of. [i'd like to pause right now to say Jacqueline is fucking wonderful and i love her like my white auntie. also Sutton needed to hear that again just as much as Kat and i really appreciate this entire moment.] When Kat leaves Jacqueline's celebration, she passes by one of those "crisis centers" Tia told her about and decides to use her voice to help others. "I like to think of myself as a pretty strong, empowered, forward-thinking, open-minded woman. But, up until now, I haven't been able to talk about my abortion. If me putting myself out there helps even one woman to feel less alone, less ashamed, and less guilty then it's worth it." And just like us, dear Tia is blown away. She actually exhales a breath she didn't know she was holding and biiiiiiiitch (!!!! excitedly). and then they're dancing! This is the episode, upon rewatch, when i recognize how often Tia touches Kat unnecessarily.

Episode 5: Kat's entire recap includes Tia, ending with Sutton saying "she seems to be very single". Her very first scene, Tia is complimenting her walking out of some campaigning event we later learn was a Town Hall. Can we just talk about Kat's blazer for a second? First of all, i want it. Second, how did they find something so perfectly her? It's colorful but still semi-professional, fun, but still about her business. Heart-eye inducing. ok. So the next time we see Kat, she and Tia (whose last name they finally mention as Clayton) are reviewing campaign platform and doing debate prep at Kat's apartment. Tia's complimenting Kat almost continuously at this point. Clearly she's impressed, borderline gushing. and Kat tries to brush it off. Tia's not letting her. And there's this moment when Tia forces herself to break eye contact with her (around 5:40 of the episode). The show tells us Kat still hasn't dated since Adena, but Sutton brings up the "stupid smile" she gets whenever Tia's mentioned. She's making better decisions than Patrick and her being compared to Patrick is lowkey happening a lot. I'm starting to wonder if they're setting up Kat taking over digital if she doesn't win the campaign. Ok, the song choice as they pan to Kat and Tia... "I never normally check my phone 10 times in a minute. I'm not the girl to be kept on hold 10 miles from the finish." Again, Tia is very touchy with Kat, never anything inappropriate of course, but the hand is always on the back or the arm. and their interaction is just.. lovely. I squeal. it's so cute. they're so comfortable. Kat invites Tia to the dinner BEFORE (i got the timing on that mixed up before) Tia says she's "a boring straight girl" [the test determined that was a LIE... nah, my good sis Tia is dealing with some internalized homophobia which is no joking matter, but we don't learn that until the next episode]. Apparently, Kat can cook now? So she just liked Adena's food better i guess? idk... anyway. I get why some of the things Tia said can be taken as flirting, but i still believe that you accept what someone says is their sexuality until they say otherwise. yes, that's even when they're saying things like "when i see what i want, i go for it" and "Annndd she can cook. it's hot" and looking at you like that. Kat telling Jane to apologize because he's her boss and she got suuuper disrespectful and would absolutely deserve getting fired makes me proud. She's the mature friend now. She's the one with a level head on her shoulders. Kat finally makes her feelings known to Tia, but this is after Tia has already stated she's straight. Tia reiterates that this is a professional relationship and apologizes for Kat getting the wrong idea. I'm reminded of when Alex Danvers told Maggie Sawyer she was into her and she was rejected... but in that example i was floored and heartbroken for Alex because ugh, i just didn't see that coming. With this, however, it felt like Tia was clear in her words even if it shocked the hell out of me what the words were. So i didn't feel heartbroken for Kat. I thought... tbh... she brought it on herself for refusing to respect Tia's "no", however soft it was. But the writers did let us know it wasn't over with the music selection... Kat looking at "You and Tia make a great team :)" as "I'll go to war for you" plays.

Episode 6: All the emails have been released and Kat has no worries at all about that because she's a professional. And we get to see her be a boss addressing the entire group. Patrick isn't there this episode (YAY for our sanity!) and i think Kat being a boss so often when Patrick isn't around is intentional. When we see Tia, she says last night is forgotten but she thinks it's a bad idea to remain Kat's campaign manager... which is clearly a hard rejection. One can argue that it's too harsh for someone merely admitting they were into you. But it's just as easy to argue that it's appropriate after telling someone, very clearly, that you are not into them romantically and them ignoring that and saying that you were flirting with them on this date they never called a date before you were already there?? so i'm not mad at it. At the end of the episode, we find out that Tia was rejecting herself, not Kat. Turns out, Ms. Tia Clayton has known she's attracted to women since she was in high school, but she "didn't want to want it". Tia is so TINY AND ANXIOUS ABOUT HER SEXUALITY AND MANY OF US HAVE BEEN THERE. But... and i say this in jest... for someone who is really trying not to be out in the open with her gay, she sure was comfortable kissing Kat all outdoors for anyone to see. My good sis is smitten. I'm excited for the story. Again with the music during their scenes though... "I cannot fallll in love with youuuuu. I cannot feeeeel this way so soon, so soon." Also, my girlfriend and I have watched the gifset of the kiss over the phone and swooned (we live in different states for now). This episode, we also got the flashbacks (i missed Lauren so much). Kat's got red streaks in her hair, is a friend to strangers, has regrettable sex with men who taste like pickles, and is cute as a button. She also called Jacqueline "Mama Jackie" and that's it; that's her name now.

[shanastoryteller]

SHANA HOW DO YOU START WRITING A STORY? I have the idea of how it will end and a VERY BASIC plot, but I've never attempted to write an actual book before and all I have are half-finished stories. How do you start the first chapter and plan for plot-related scenes? How do you weave a narrative out of the tiny bits of actual story I have? Any advice here? :(

oh wow i’m just the WORST at advice!!!

but i talk here about my horrible and messy writing process when it comes to starting a story

and i’ve talked about my shit outlines before, but i guess here take a some examples?

under the cut i’ll put my outlines for cut from the same cloth and chapter three of survival is a talent. idk if can really recommend planning this way because it’s … a disaster, but it’s the way that works best for me ???

also i want no sass from any of you about my horrible outlines, YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO SEE THEM THEY’RE JUST FOR ME, but i’m making an exception and posting them just as an example of how i plan stories, because i get a lot of asks about it

especially with survival is a talent, you can see my final product deviates from my outline A LOT. so i’m also very against sticking to your outlines. 

also, honestly, if it’s under 10k i … probably didn’t even do an outline. i didn’t write a single thing down when i was writing an invincible summer until the partway through third chapter, so more than 50k into writing it

anywho, here you go, i hope this helps???

arranged marriag au

izuku attended UA in the general mprogram, and eventually switched to support

he got one for all when he was 13 and kept it a secret for Reasons

all for one is maybe probably dead? no he’s the big bad. but he hasn’t been active.

all-might is the only dad he’s ever known, his real dad being very absent. inko isn’t thrilled about the turn her sons life has taken, and has a kinda strained relationship with toshi, but she knows her son loves and respects him and she can’t deny him that

all-might’s issues with his form aren’t as bad, and they’re a huge secret - no one but the ua teachers and some other people know. endeavor finds out and threatens to tell everyone, unless izuku marries his son. toshi is fucking pissed that endeavor would even propose that, but izuku doesn’t even have to think about it. he agrees instantly.

his best friends are mei hatsume and hitoshi shinso. bakugou is his best best friend.

he acts under the secret identity deku as all-might’s sidekick. bakugou is also a side kick, and one of the few people that know all his secrets. also one of the few people that are publically known to know both izuku, his childhood bff, and deku, his fighting / hero partner.

his cover is working with mei in her support items company, and he actually does contribute a large amount to that. todoroki thinks he has an intelligence quirk.

everyone thinks izuku has the same quirk as nedzu (high spec), just to a lesser degree, and that he just thought he was quirkless until he went to ua and nedzu took an interest in him. in reality it’s just a cover and he really was quirkless, but now he has one for all.

bakugou to todoroki: he has the same quirk as principal nedzu. if i’m worried about someone, it’s not going to be midoriya.

shouto takes midoriya to this hero social thing, and watches him and bakugou interact, and is like um???????? and everyone is like uh okay, this is fine, it’s nothing to worry about i’m sure.

they go home, shouto is jealous but feels like he doesn’t even have a right to be jealous, and midoriya is like, well, i was hoping to dance with you actually, or sometihng equally sappy, and then they have sex

the just. have a lot of FUCKING sex.

someone kidnaps midorya because he’s shouto’s husband, and a bunch of other people, and the truth comes out when he fucking DESTROYS them

midoriya tells shouto the whole truth, and he has shouto’s mom move in with his mom, and izuku and shouto live happily ever after

oh also deku officially comes out as deku

so, background pairings: aizawa/hizashi, tenya/mei, kirishima/bakugou/uraraka

add in scene where pro heroes are called away “should we all really be going?” “we’re leaving the sidekicks behind, it’ll be fine.”

bakuou discovering his mom has been take. mei being taken for tenya. others. uraraka’s parents. didn’t take someone for everyone, only the top sidekicks.

todoroki did get a message - they’re broadcasting everything. they’re all gathered in izuku’s house. todoroki is a mess. the rest of his family show up. inko and yukiko are fast friends, even in a criss.

bad guy monologue. izuku being like wtf?? discovers all for one is in charge.

shinsou, bakugou, and inko trying to come up with reasons to do nothing. bakugou wants to charge in, even though it’s a trap, but shinsou tells him they’re fine, they don’t know. bakugou is worried that izuku will choose to protext his secret over over saving everyone.

heroe are on their way back. they don’t know what’s going on.

once izuku gets confirmation that all the hostages are in the room with him, he goes wild. hand guy is about to touch mei when he does it. reveals that he’s deku to the world.

bakugou and inko go wild. they all get a text with a location. everyone bucked up to go.

they have to fight all for one. todoroki pov, notices how similar deku and bakugou fighting is to izuku and bakugou dancing.

izuku finally tales all of the one for all quirk to beat all for one. he gets away, but he’s hurt.

family reunion scene. everyoen takes their respective loved ones and bounces. have people reactions to deku.

izuku and shouto have a Talk and then there is Sex

add nezu scene and shiga deciding to send nobus

siat third year

draco keeps offering to curse his cousin and his family. harry discovers that draco has rather a lot of freedom, as his parents, especially his father, is rather busy. draco casually uses the floo network to visit pansy and blaise often. harry thinks draco’s parents are rather cold, and uncaring. draco thinks that harry’s family needs to be cursed.

they got each other bday presents, but are saving them until they see each other at hogwarts. draco got harry gifts from japan, where he visited the past summer with luna and his mother. harry is incredibly worried that draco will think it’s stupid, but he picked the first iris that bloomed and carefully pressed it, and did the same for the most beautiful iris each full moon, so he has a mini boquet of iris flowers.

chapter opens with harry panicking about aunt marge. he calls draco, who tells him to take the knight bus and stay calm. mention the dog. draco’s worried, clearly, but he won’t tell harry why.

draco talks wistfully of meeting harry in diagon, but they know its a bad idea. show a scene of draco with pansy and blaise. mention dobby.

draco is super worried about harry one the train.

mention draco’s silver buttons

add in crookshanks

golden trio have a convo about draco’s dad and allegiances. mention imperio and vertisarium.

draco knows what sirius black being free means because he’s not a moron. it takes a while for him to figure out that harry doesn’t know, then he tells him. draco talks about his cousin. says he’s a black and can’t be trusted. “draco, you’re a black.” “yes, and very few people trust me.”

the thing with buckbeack really is an accident. harry is really worried about draco - it is a lot of blood. lucius comes down, furious. draco tries to tell his dad he’s fine, but he stands up too suddenly and whites out, and lucius has to told him up right. is upset because his son is hurt and because he can’t be affectionate with him in front of all these people. lucius decides buckbeak needs to die.

draco tries to pretend his arm isn’t bothering him, which it is because it’s a magical wound. but pansy does all his chopping and what not and draco just oversees.

draco doesn’t like lupin, and won’t say why. he and hermione have a convo about it, and decided not to say anything, for very different reasons. or he just assumes hermione told him. “i really need to stop assuming people tell you anything”

use polyjuice so harry can go to hogsmead?

draco and the twins develop a friendship.

draco becomes a chaser in 3rd year, and gives harry way more of a run for his money as a chaser. he scores so many points for his team that sometimes even when harry catches the snitch, they still lose. this is also why the twins become friends with him, because they spend a lot of energy constantly trying to knock him off his broom

sirius gets in and draco freaks the fuck out, as do the other slytherins. draco looks him over. sends over luna to sleep by harry, who brings ginny.

snape does werewolf lessons

hufflepuff vs gryffindor game. draco’s the one who performs wingardium leviosa to save him, subtly. only his friends and a couple of professors notice. not a soft or nice fall, but it means he just has bruises and broken bones. later, lupin will realize the wingardium leviosa that saved harry was draco’s was harry. maybe draco’s charm gives dumbledore enough time to cast his?

draco has to go home for christmas because otherwise his parents will go mental. but he gives harry his gift with stern instructions not to open it until christmas. they talk on christmas, and harry sees that draco has already hung the flowers in his room. says his mom helped him. harry asks about his dad, and draco says, “dad doesn’t have an opinion about interior design. mum just does whatever she wants and dad pays for it”

everyone gets together to try and think of a way to save buckbeak, but lucius is pissed

when harry is training with lupin draco bursts in, goes in front of harry, realizes its a boggart when it changes forms, and uses ridiculous to stop it. he then turns his wand on lupin, using the disarming charm. harry wakes up and stops him from cursing him, then when he calms down asking him what he’s thinking. “oh like, you’ve never been attacked by a professor before?” “thats…a fair point.”

except now lupin has seen draco willing to take a dementor’s kiss and fight a professor for harry, so this mortal enemy thing isn’t going to work. draco tells lupin he knows he's’ a werewolf, and threatens to expose him to the school board if he doesn’t keep his mouth shut about all of this. or nah, says his mom said to let her know if lupin so much as looked at him funny, and she would destroy him. draco says and lupin ever hurts harry he’ll use his father’s solution instead, and lupin half smiles and compliments his buttons. draco says yes, they could do a lot of damage, even with simple wingardium leviosa charm. then that lupid realized it was draco who slowed harry’s fall before. draco makes comparison between buckbeak and lupin. harry’s like he’s a werewolf?? “obviously, didn’t granger tell you?” joke about needing a memory charm. lupin knows they’re not enemies, doesn’t know they’re soulmates.

draco taking patronus charm classes alongside harry after the confrontation with lupin.

while hermione is being ostracized by ron and harry. she hangs out with the slytherins. her and draco really do get along scarily well. draco agrees with hermione that the firebolt should be inspected. very odd moment for everyone, really.

scabbers is supposedly eaten by crookshanks

harry says that cho is kinda pretty and draco gets pissy. harry and ron vs draco and hermione. they’re both just like what the fuck m8.

buckbeak verdict is announced. draco is like !!! what do you want me to do ???? and it’s actually ron who’s like don’t worry about it mate, we know you tried, can image my dad would be too pleased if i was mauled by buckbeak

slytherin vs gryffindor game - harry still catches the snitch and they win, but thanks to draco on chaser they only win by 100 points, so slytherin still gets the quidditch cup. wood curses up a storm that malfoy switched to chaser, he’s far too good at it. draco is worried harry will be pissed they got the cup, and he’s a little indignant, but mostly he’s … kinda proud of draco? because there were almost no fouls this game. slytherin won mostly fair and square. lee jordan spends a lot time commentating that malfoy switching to chaser was the worst thing that ever happened to gryffindor.

draco follows them down to hagrids. finally admits that he feels guilty and stiffly apologized to hagrid, saying he tried to talk his dad out of it, but he wouldn’t listen. hagrid is instantly endeared, because he is the best person in all of the hp series. says something about he shouldn’t have brought something that dangerous. draco calls hagrid ‘scamander stock’ and he tries to make it sound like an insult, but by the way hagrid tears up it’s clear it’s a compliment. they see lucius and the executioner coming, and draco panics - his dad will be pissed if he finds him. hagrid hurries all of them out and gives draco and affectionate pat on the way out.

they all end up following into the whomping willow. sirius, lupin, and snape. pettigrew.

draco is more concerned about sirius than lupin - figures a black with a vendetta is more worrisome than a werewolf. look at his mother, after all. he and sirius get into an argument about it all. is like wtf about the scabbers thing.

snape appears, they fight. harry disarms him, and draco is like fuck this noise he uses the memory charm on him from behind, then ron knocks him out. lupin: “i thought you struggled with non corporeal tied charms.” draco: “…. i do.” no one has any idea what condition snape will wake up in. draco’s like if snape finds out about us, that’s fucking it, he’ll never keep the secret. golden trio’s like that’s your head of house!!! and draco shrugs and is like whatever he’s kind of bastard, really. and sirius laughs and says he’s not all bad or something like that.

deal with the pettigrew thing

snape has only lost a few hours worth of memory. he asks why draco was there, and draco is like ??? i saw someone sneaking around and told you and followed you out, what the heck.

draco and harry go back in time. draco knew about the time turner. harry “why does no one tell me anything” potter. he summons a snake, and harry uses parseltongue to tell it what to do. it captures pettigrew. draco and hermione are anxious, looking for whoever cast the patronus, but harry realizes it was him, and does it. they steal buckbeak and take him to sirius. they’ve captured pettigrew. trials are not easy things, so black should stay away until some sort of bail is posted on him or something. but authorities do get called.

pettigrew does escape custody, but not before everyone sees him. so he still helps resurrect voldemort, but the sirius’s trial / case is still be reviewed. MOTHERFUCKING PLOT TWIST lucius agrees to represent sirius in trial. people point out that won’t help his believability any, and naricissa is like my cousin deserves the best and the best is my husband, get fucked.

draco’s talk with lupin. banishes his silver buttons, and says that lupin should stay because he’s a great teacher, and exactly what they’ll need to survive what’s coming. call’s it his “furry little problem” unknowingly echoing james. lupin laughs, lighter. harry bursts in saying he’s heard. draco is like oh good, maybe he’ll listen to you. but lupin ignores them both and ruffles their hair.

silver trio is there. just. reacting to things, hanging out.

ginny sticking her nose in things, while being bffs with luna.

maurader’s map locked so it can’t be changed or altered. our group amends it so it can’t be altered by any but the original six.

add crookshanks and scabbers