#why can't i ever fucking trim anything right

[urlovebot]

cw: perv!sunghoon. sunghoon does your laundry so: panty sniffing.. and licking, possessiveness, exhibitionism, praise, overstim, hands free orgasm again (?), dry humping but solo (???), sunghoon creams his pants twice lmfaoooo what a loser.

a/n: nastiest thing i've ever written so if it isn't for you, i get it 😭

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sunghoon knows its wrong. he knows its gross, a little fucked up but he can't help it. especially not when you ask him to wash your laundry with his to save on some money.

he couldnt help but dig through your pile, searching desperately for it and- oh! he's found it.

a worn pair of your panties. they're different than he imagined. he's spent hours thinking about it before. he thought they'd be plain, no lace, no pattern. multiple pairs but not alot of difference in color. mainly ones that match your skin tone. you wear alot of light clothing and he sees nothing when his eyes scan your body, spending more time on your ass than anything else. he knows that you dont wear low rise anything so they must be high cut? maybe hipsters? he's sure its nothing out of vanilla for you.

so why would you own a pair of white, bikini shaped, lace trim panties? this soils the picture he had of you in his head. all of his research- all of this knowledge he had of you.

he inspects the garment in his hand. this can't be yours right? sunghoon brings the thin, thin piece of clothing to his nose. it's definitely yours. he can smell the faint scent of your body wash on them.

now he's upset; nearly distraught. why would you own a pair of panties like this? who would you need to impress-

were you fucking other men? were you- sunghoons stomach drops- were you letting them taint you? a different, even more devastating thought springs forward and sunghoon is nauseous. are you not a virgin?

the sadness fades and is replaced by wild, unadulterated anger. his fist closes around the flimsy cloth. god hes upset, frustrated nearly to tears but never at you. never at you. you could never do wrong, his perfect angel. his pretty princess would never do wrong. he knows this, but he's got to take action. do something to solve this issue, make you clean again.

sunghoon brings the panties up to his nose and lets out a whimper at the scent, its tangy but theres a hint of sweetness. fuck, he's hard now. he palms the outline of his cock through his sweats; you smell so good. he knew it, knew that you'd smell good. he tracks what you eat, when you eat it, how you eat it. he makes sure to prepare good, balanced meals for you. he buys you all of your multi-vitamins, tracks the amount of water you drink to make sure you're never dehydrated. he knew you'd smell good, he made it that way.

he feels his cock leak into his underwear. he knows its wrong, knows its fucked up and dirty, but he does it anyway. his tongue pokes out to lick the center of your panties- oh. oh. his eyes roll to the back of his head. it tastes- no, no. you taste good. he feels precum dribble out of his cock and now he feels his underwear get a little damp.

he presses his palm harder against his crotch and takes another, more confident lick at the spot where your pretty pussy would've laid and now he's whining and humping into his hand like a fucking dog. he stumbles at the sensation and catches himself on a washer and he's reminded that this is a public laundromat on campus. a more secluded one, but public nonetheless. the thought of someone catching him makes his head spin.

everyone knew you were roommates. you were so, so popular amongst your peers. so sweet and kind, a smile that lights up a room, an infectious, contagious giggle. and sunghoon, who was so, so handsome but as much as he was handsome, he was shy. didn't talk much to anyone. except for you. he'd stroll with you as you bounced next to him, talking about your day as you both walked back to your dorm.

what better way to claim you than for someone to walk in and see him fucking himself and holding your panties up to his face. the thought turns him on so much that he squeezes his eyes shut and lets out a strangled moan.

god he needs it. he needs to fuck you in front of the whole campus. all of those men that violated your princess parts- he needs them to watch as he stuffs his girthy length into your pussy. he wants them to watch as he stretches you out. he's sure you'd struggle against him as what he had in girth he also had in length, but he knows you'd like it. he knows you'd love being filled up by him. by him.

he's so fucking mad. how could they? he slams the fist holding your panties on the washer as he continues to fuck and grind into his hand.

fuck those men that defiled you. fuck them for touching you that way, putting their filthy hands on your precious body. he'd fix that. cleanse you. cum all over your pretty frame, cover you in it. your face, your tits, cum on and in your tight little cunt. he prays you'd let him fuck your ass too so he could fill that up as well- shit.

he feels it coming. he feels the onslaught of pleasure start to pour into his body. he wants to hold off- wants to hold his cum until he can spill it inside of you but he cant. he's gonna cream his pants like hes a teenager again.

he laps at your panties again and he cant wait to taste your pussy. he can't wait until he can eat you out for hours, have you cum on his tongue over and over and- oh-

his eyes squeeze shut again and he bites his lip to try and conceal his moans. he can't tell if its working though, his ears are ringing and the only thing he can think of is roughly humping his hand to get off.

he whines and whines and whines as he feels himself let go, ropes of cum seeping through his underwear. its spurt after spurt and now his hand is wet and its starting to stain his sweats but he cant stop. his cock has a mind of its own, twitching and jumping and fuck- he's so sensitive.

he stops cumming, stops shooting his load into his underwear. he whimpers and removes his hand from his pants but his hips are still stuttering against nothing.

god he wants to feel it. he wants to know how it'll feel when he slides his cock into your warm, tight, wet cunt. he wants to feel his balls slap against your ass from how hard he's fucking you. he wants to feel your pussy gush around him, cover his cock and balls in your juices. he hopes he can make you squirt so you can drench him in you and- no. no no no-

sunghoons knees knock together as he feels himself cum in his pants again and he might actually pass out this time. its dry, nothings coming out but he feels euphoric. his hips fuck into the air and its so fucking gross, he feels so gross and so dirty but its only for you. only for his pretty princess.

[lumibuns-blog]

Ghost x Soap's roomie

Ghosts and Gaz stay the week and Soap's apartment. Ghost falls head over heels for you and can't seem to think of anything else.

its just two idiots in love at this point and also Soap and Gaz are there too lmao. I have more for this concept on my page or under the tag if you like it💪

Dinner was finished quicker than Simon would have preferred considering he still couldn't get the image of your sly smile out of his head, not to mention the piece of food he was sure was stuck in his throat from the laughing fit you had sent him and Gaz into with your well timed nut-tap. You were intoxicating to him, it was almost insufferable how unable he was to get your voice, your face, your figure, everything, out of his head. He could swear that he's never felt this way before about anyone, ever. It was like the moment he set eyes on you, his mind had made itself up and all he could do was let himself fall even further and further in love with you.

So he now watched as you forced a very upset Soap to do the dishes, not without great effort.

"aw 'bon why tha' hell do I have'ta do this shite it's fuckin feechie" he whined

"'cause I do the cooking, that's the deal we have" you bit back "plus, I've cleaned our bathroom before" you turned to face both Simon and Kyle, Simon couldn't help but notice he was the one you locked eyes with "you wanna see nasty, use the shower when he's finished" you sighed

"oye! Not fair" Johnny warned, an accusing finger pointed towards you "you shed more than a hound when 'ure in there, ya clog the damn drain"

"excuse me! I clean up after myself at least, any hair you find in there is yours!" you yelled back, clearly embarrassed

"nae, ma' hair ain't long with split ends, er' whateva' the hell 'ure always moanin' 'bout in there"

you had half a mind to hit him across the face for that, "I don't know, hairs getting a little long there princess" you teased, gesturing to his grown out mohawk "need to get it trimmed? or you worried they might leave you looking bald again like last time?" you grinned

"awe no way!" Gaz grinned "you got pictures?" he ran over to you. Simon was curious too but didn't make a show of it, settling to sit back with his arms crossed instead, surveying the chaos.

"sure do" you beamed, ready to pull out your phone

"Naw naw!" Johnny scrambled to intercept his friend "nae happenin'"

you flung the phone behind you, out of his reach "then wash the fucking dishes man" you scoffed, shoving the sponge into his chest "thought they called you Soap for a reason?"

"feckin whatever" Johnny groaned, returning to the sink and flicking the tap on

you beamed and turned to head towards your room, calling out your dibs on the shower. Not before holding your phone up to Kyle and Simon, mouthing an 'I'll show you later' before slipping out of view.

"cheeky little mother fucker..." Soap mumbled, the half smile on his face turning into a look of disgust as he touched some wet food.

"so...." Gaz started after a moment "Never did decide where we 'going to be sleepin' mate?"

"well 've only got two beds" Johnny said, back turned to his friends "an' mine can only fit one a you's plus ma'self" he continued "an' like -ell I'm not going to sleepin on 'ma own bed while 'm home , so one ya will have-tae take the couch" he paused "unless the other one wants to bunk up with 'er" he laughed

Simon froze simply at the idea, suddenly incredibly uncomfortable in his slacks at the thought of being right up next to you while you rested. If you were closer would be be able to put his hands of you? trace the contours of your waist with his finger tips, burry his nose in the back of your head and wrap his hulking arms around your smaller figure? Feel the curve of your ass as you pressed against-

he bit the inside of his cheek and gripped the counter top so hard his knuckles turned white, "I'll take the couch" he huffed "'ure smaller anyway" he gestured to Kyle

"Whateva' mate" Gaz rolled his eyes, taking his friends jab in stride.

You had claimed dibs of the shower first because you were well aware that three, probably filthy, men (all of which had to be over 6 feet) were bound to need to use it as well and it would be pointless to try and wash your hair after that disaster.

"I'm done!" you called absentmindedly from the hallway, a towel wrapped around your body, wet hair sticking to your neck and back. Simon had found a very interesting part of the ceiling to focus on while you went back to your room, "try to not blow the thing up, I've got a down payment on this thing" you said, closing the door behind you.

silence fell over the room once again, as all three men glanced between themselves. Gaz was first, he took off at a run towards the bathroom door, determined to be second. Soap started off not more then a moment after him,

"aye ya prick, it's my house this?!" he grabbed for Gaz who held on steady to the door

"exactly mate! we're the guests!" Kyle chided "so be a good host 'an bugger off!"

"Nae 'm not lettin' you's skimp me outta a hot shower" Soap yelled attempting to pull Gaz back, but the man had such a a tight hold on the door he might've pulled out the hinges first.

you reopened the door after hearing the chaos, still in only a towel "the hell is-?" you were cut off almost immediately by ghost stepping in, he grabbed them both by the back collars of their shirts with what seemed like minimal effort, and pulled them off each other.

"Gaz you go first," he growled "Johnny, at least finish drying the bloody dishes before you go runnin' off" he shoved your roommate back into the kitchen

"Lt.! 's no fair he's goin' first! Why do you get to decide?" Soap griped

"on base 'er not, 'm still in charge." Simon said plainly, narrowing his eyes towards his friend, "just be lucky I'm the one yellin' at you for tusslin' around inside"

"In 'ma own home!" Johnny threw his hands up in defeat as Gaz pumped his fist before closing the bathroom door.

for a moment, your eyes met Simon's as you peaked from behind your door and they lingered there. His gaze was so was piercing as he glared from above his mask, that he had (unfortunately) put back in after dinner. His eyes only remained that way for a moment however, for as soon as they met yours, they softened. The harsh lines fell away instantly and his pupils began to dilate when they met yours, not aware you had been watching the whole ordeal.

'why did his eyes have to be so pretty?'

He coughed quickly, tearing his gaze from you before returning to the kitchen himself. Leaving you awe struck, fanning your face behind the closed door of your room.

When it was finally time for him to take a shower, Simon allowed himself a moment of respite in the bathroom before actually cleaning himself off. Away from Johnny's teasing glances and their incessant banter that he hated to admit he had come to be too fond of to reprimand them for, and they knew that all to well. Above all else though, it was a moment to internally process seeing you in nothing but a towel because when he had tried to think it over out there, the evidence of that was all too noticeable. You had looked so fucking good, wet hair, glossy skin, that towel that did absolutely nothing to cover up the swell of your tits as you pressed it to your chest. Even the simple fact that your cheeks still flushed from the heat of the shower sent his whole body into overdrive.

'shit- right, the shower.'

He broke from his thoughts to finally enter the shower but that did nothing to aid him in his situation. On the ledge was your shampoo and various other soaps, much like how your side of the sink was covered in various products and bottles he couldn't name even if he tried. Johnny's side had a toothbrush that was joined by Gaz's wash bag, and that was it. In the shower however, he only saw what were clearly your products. He grumbled and opened the door just a crack,

"Either 'a you got any shower gel?" He yelled through the crack, rather embarrassed at his current situation, "lef' mine at base."

"jus' use 'er's!" Johnny called back from his spot on the couch "'s what I do anyway..."

"You what?!" you yelled from across the flat

"dumbass" Kyle scoffed

"kidding, kidding!" Johnny laughed "Mines the one with the green lid mate, ya don' see it?"

"Fuckin hell...neva'mind!" Ghost responded, closing the door again. He swore he wasn't seeing straight. It didn't help that the whole bathroom already smelt like you, your intoxicating scent invading every breath he took. But to use your products? That was some shit couples do, and he had to stop his mind from getting away from him with that fantasy.

Stepping into the shower once more he located Johnny's soap. Spring rain?, no fucking wonder he hadn't noticed it, who would've thought Soap would use something like this? He quickly washed himself and got dressed, rubbing his hair dry with a towel as he exited the bathroom.

You stood in the kitchen, a large sweatshirt dwarfed your frame. You seemed to be waiting for the kettle of the stove to heat up as you noticed his presence.

"oh I can take that" you smiled, walking over to him and holding out your hand to take his towel from him.

He very reluctantly gave it to you, worried it would smell bad or have something gross on it he hadn't even realized. "was just about to start another lode anyway" you chimed, opening up the closet door and throwing it in the machine before starting it.

Simon couldn't help himself "Colors I'm assuming?" he joked

you whipped around to face him "Now don't you start" you scolded, but the smile and deep red of your cheeks was unmistakable, "Johnny's enough to deal with on his own" you headed back to your kettle

"'m sorry, I'll try to be less of a pain in the arse to ya than he is" Simon chuckled

"that's a low bar" you laughed dully "but thank you"

Simon found conversation to flow freely with you, like it does with the rest of his team but only after he had gotten close to them. He had only known you for a day but still found it so natural to speak to you (if he ignored the deafening sound of his heartbeat and the massive lump in his throat).

"want any tea?" your offer broke the silence as you grinned and held up the now boiling kettle.

"uh- sure" he nodded, was his heart getting louder?

you tossed open one of the cupboards "pick your poison" you chirped, gesturing the stocked shelf of teas.

he rounded the island to inspect the selection, peering over you in such a way that his form eclipsed yours and forced you to move back against the counter top. You held your breath.

"'ere" he handed a small tin containing a non-caffeinated herbal blend down to you and stepped away "is it any good?" he asked, pointing lazily at the tin that you now held.

you tried to shrug your flustered feelings away "Better be, 's what I'm having" you turned to grab him a mug from the shelf.

Simon smiled to himself at the knowledge he picked the same type of tea as you purely by coincidence. Moments later you were handing it to him, "here ya go Ghost" you said placing the hot mug in front of him

"Simon." he responded plainly

"Hm?" you tilted your head a bit

"Simon's fine, ya don't need to be calling me that 'Ghost' shit 'ere" he was staring holes into the kitchen island, wondering if it was weird for him to be asking you to call him by his given name.

"Alright, Simon it is then" you beamed, not missing a beat

christ his name sounded so good when you said it

"sorry guess it was just habit, seeing as thats what Johnny calls you whenever he's home"

"'s fine" he mumbled, a brief pause hung in the air as you both took your first sips of tea. You were right, it was good.

"where they at anyway?" Simon tried to fill the silence

"probably giggling under the covers by now" you scoffed "why? trying to get rid of me?" you joked

"'s not it" Simon answered quickly

"I know I know- I'm just teasing" you smirk "Johnny told me you were a bit quiet so don't feel pressured to talk 'er anything"

He appreciated the sentiment, but not talking to you was possibly the last thing he wanted to do right now. "What else does the little twat say?" Simon asked, a little gruffer than he intended to sound, but his reputation was on the line here.

"Oh just stories from all the dangerous stuff you all get up to, usually the ones where he can say he was the hero" you fully laughed and it sounded like music to Simon's ears "That and he complains about all the work he has to do, usually when he wants to get out of chores"

"sounds 'bout right" Simon smiled lightly and you could have sworn it was the most beautiful thing you had ever seen.

At least you didn't think he was some sulking, menacing, edge-lord. I mean he most certainly was most times but he would really prefer it if you didn't think of him like that. Now he just had one more thing to clear up.

"jus' so ya know... I- I didn't use your body wash" he practically had to shove the words out of his mouth he was so tense, but to his surprise you just laughed.

You smiled brightly and waved your hand dismissively, "Don't worry I didn't think you had, I don't blame you for not finding his soap though" you held your mug close to your chest and smiled fondly "He used to use that Head and Shoulder's stuff, you know the one? Anyway, it was nasty so I got him some better stuff and he actually likes it, even if he complains he smells 'like a chick' now" you put that last part in air quotes.

"fair", the soap Simon used on base was Head and Shoulder's. He made a mental note to throw it out and get better stuff the second he got back.

Conversation flowed freely for the next couple minutes as you both finished your drinks, you mostly asked about what it was like living on a military base and he asked about a bit about your graduate studies. Happy just to learn anything about you. When you set your empty mug down on the kitchen counter, he silently glided over with his own and took your mug in his other hand, filling them with water in the sink.

"you really don't have to do that, but thank you" you smiled softly, a yawn escaped you, feeling the tiredness begin to catch up with you.

"don't mind it" he dried his hands off with the kitchen towel. When he looked back at you his heart swelled. you were smiling lightly in the dimly lit kitchen, eyes squinting from even that being too much light. You swayed back and forth slowly, heading nodding slightly every couple of moments. He felt bad for keeping you up but more than that he wished he could just pick you up and whisk you off to bed, curling up next you you and letting you snuggle into his chest. But there was no way he could do something like that, not now anyway, so he settled for the next option

"you look like you're about to fall over love, off to bed now" he said, his voice quiet and gentle as patted you on the back and steered you towards your room.

"aye aye captain" you lazily saluted him and he couldn't help but smile "let me know if ya need anything" you called from the hall "night!"

"yeah g'night" he groaned, shoving himself onto the couch that was much too small for him. He would rather freeze than make you get up to get him another blanket or something. And even though he felt perfectly comfortable he couldn't seem to get to sleep, his heart was just too loud.

*I might make Price come over to give the boys something they left behind just so he can meet/flirt with reader and Simon and get all grumpy and jealous cuz it would be cute <3

Tags:

@sleep101 @urbimom @noisydelusionlove @plk-18 @pinkyfqiry @wwe1rdc0re @vmaxis @jenlvr01 @lovelovelovelovelove987654321 @ifsunmibts @callmeluno @nina-from-317 @strawberrygateau @leryg0 @weemansoap @dreamtofus @imjustheretofightforlove @electricmentalitypersona

[auspicioustidings]

Based on this. You are in Finland full of self-loathing and the 141 needs a fat wife if they want to win some beer.

You aren't exactly on holiday in Finland. It should be your honeymoon but since you caught your groom balls deep in your maid of honour you instead have used it as an escape from the country. You just cannot be around the people you love right now, can't have them all look at you with all that pity. Even worse is that some of them probably don't even blame him. Your former best friend is a size 8, perfect hourglass figure. Your former partner is trim and decently fit. They look like they belong together more than you and him ever did.

You hate yourself. You hate looking in the mirror. You hate how clothes fit you. You deserved it you think.

"Not a chance MacTavish, that's my wife!"

"Away and biel yer heid, I saw her first!"

"Actually I saw her first!"

"I outrank all of you muppets so I think you'll find that is my wife!"

It's a racket in the little cafe but you don't pay much mind, still just staring out the window and wondering if you could ever deserve anything. One of the servers comes to take your empty cup and grins at you, telling you in her heavy accent that she would personally go for the one with the mask since he's the biggest. You don't understand when you look around and there are a lot of locals smiling happily over at you while four Greek Gods of men are having a scuffle, moving slowly in your direction. More people chip in, arguing about who you should pick, some lamenting that they would claim you themselves if they thought they could.

One big man does try, basically some Viking God, but he's playfully (you hope it's playful) spear tackled by the man with the mohawk before he laughs and backs off.

When Gaz with warmed cheeks and excitement in his eyes gets to you while Soap is busy with the viking and Ghost and Price are wrestling one another he asks if you'd do him the honour of being his wife. You nearly choke, but he explains that the wife carrying competition is today. You look around, bewildered, ask him why he wouldn't pick any of the other women in here given that they are all gorgeous slim things.

"Fuck all use to us, need a nice soft bird with lots of fat" says the man in the mask.

Price scowls and whacks his lieutenant upside the head because he sees how you look a second away from crying.

"You're gorgeous sweetheart, he didn't mean anything by it. The prize is the wife's weight in beer though, so he's right about a little lady not being much use."

You don't know what to say. You don't know if this is mortifying or not given that everyone around you seems to not be looking at you with sneers or laughing at you, but instead looking with soft smiles that convey fondness. They think this is adorable.

"Dinnae listen tae their nice soft birds and sweethearts! I'll be a better husband bonnie. I'm shorter aye bit look at the power in these legs, naw going tae drop ye. And I'll split that beer 50/50!"

And then they're arguing. The four of them are arguing and trying to put forward a case to you about why they would be the best husband. When it starts to get raunchy, you fluster and stop them. But fluster is something. It's not self loathing. It's been weeks since you felt anything but self loathing. So even though you are sure everyone can feel the heat rolling off of you in waves at how bashful you are under so much attention from such attractive men, you pick one (the others are devastated but vow that you're only a wife for the competition, that after they should get another shot at convincing you that they're the best option).

And they do. Even though the man you picked doesn't win (gets DQ'd actually since you are heavy and he decided that you were getting over that damn finish line so the four of them took turns) they take you out for drinks after. You think you feel humiliated that they couldn't carry you a long distance, but you don't have time to sit with the feeling because they drown it out with how warm and giddy they make you feel.

They insist that they will compete next year, so you have 365 days to pick a husband. When you make a quiet comment about how you'll lose weight by then so they can carry you the whole way, they nearly riot as they assure you that they would be a shit pick for husband if they didn't spent the year getting stronger so they can carry you just how you are. Plus they'll not be losing any beer thank you very much.

By the time the next wife carrying competition rolls around you are a different person. You're wearing clothes that fit instead of trying to hide your body. You laugh and flirt back with the barista instead of assuming they are making fun of you by flirting. And you don't care if your husband makes it over the finish line, just that you have fun and laugh and joke about the attempt. Of course it's not entirely certain who that husband is yet, got to keep them on their toes after all.

[n30n-l1ghts]

Tokyo revengers basic NSFW headcannons pt. 2

Characters- Taiju, Inui, Koko, Ran, Rindou, Sanzu, Izana, Shinichiro, Wakasa, Benkei, Takeomi

Read the first part here

Proofread by my lovely partner @nxll-n4m3

Taiju-

Chat I think we know. I think we KNOW this man has a MONSTER cock chat. Ain't nobody arguing that. He's 6'5" and built like a fucking 18 wheeler, yeah no question he's hung. 8.7. and I KNOW that's unethical. Trust me, he knows it too. And he'd be more cocky about it if it didn't dissuade almost everyone from even attempting to take that. I feel like he wouldn't have much, if any experience. I can see him sleeping around a teensy bit to relieve stress and then getting really guilty about it. But then again, he's a very pious man, so I can also absolutely see him saving himself for marriage (though he might cheat a teensy bit with oral or mutual masturbation) speaking of which, this man is SO guilty about falling for a guy. You're gonna have to deal with the world's most internalized homophobe ever. Religious trauma is a hell of a thing. A swift topic change, grooming. I don't see him caring much, but he will tidy it up a bit if you want him to. All while very loudly grumble curses under his breath of course. Long, thick, black and surprisingly not all that curly.

Seishu-

He gives me the vibe of someone who can be surprisingly subby if he trusts you enough. But he'd need to REALLY trust you to be that vulnerable in your presence. He's absolutely a switch and I don't think he actually has much of a preference, apart from the fact that he's more top and dom leaning the less he knows you. Then again, he has to trust you a fair amount to get into bed with you anyways, this boy does not sleep around even a little. Actually he hates the idea and finds it a little scumbaggy. As for physical description, pretty middle of the road both in size and grooming. 6.2-3, absolutely a grower and not a shower. His cock is the same really pale colour as his skin. He keeps himself a little tidy down south, but can't be bothered to give it more than a trim every now and again. Wispy and blonde, honestly looks almost white in the right lighting.

Koko-

Fancy rich boy smells like fancy rich soap and fancy rich cologne. Nah jk, that man wears perfume not cologne, and honestly, more power to him, he pulls it the fuck off. I think he's very cleanly. Clean, orderly, and fancy shmancy. Tell me why I think he'd own stupid expensive lingerie? I know he would. He swears up down and sideways the first time you find them that they're not for him to wear (they totally are). Pretty big toy collection too, can't convince me otherwise. This man needs his ass ate, I don't make the rules, I just work here. He NEEDS IT. He's super clean down there so it's not gross or anything, and it's just about his favorite activity. In other words, eat the rich- (who said that-) decent 5.7, not particularly large, but enough to get the job done. He's another one I feel like honestly might prefer being clean shaven. He might have a small tuft of curly black hairs, but it would definitely be meticulously kept as he can't stand the feeling of too much hair down there, it annoys him to no end.

Ran-

Biggest tease. BIGGEST TEASE. Brat. BRAT. He's a switch, but by God is he a pain in the ass as a bottom. He doesn't know the meaning of the word submit. He will get on your nerves and try to provoke you until you're fed up and just bend him over the nearest surface. Lowkey gives me the vibe of an exhibitionist. Like, semi-public sex would turn him on so much. Drag him into a bathroom or random alleyway and he'll pop an instant boner. Definitely a brat taming kink and it goes both ways, it's just whoever feels like putting the other in their place, he's cool with it either way. Pull his hair, wrap your hand around his throat, he's a lil freaky freak like that. Really though, an experimentalist, he's willing to try damn near anything at least twice. Definitely has a fair amount of experience, total fuckboy over here. He has a revolving door of guys and gals that want to get in those pants. It's really not that hard to do, what is hard to do is get into that heart. (Cheesy I know) But seriously, if you somehow manage to actually bag this man, you have him under lock and key and he's yours forever, loyal as a dog despite what you might think. Probably about 6.10ish maybe pushing 7" when fully erect. Man's is six feet tall, he's got some length to him, just saying. I feel like he would stay on top of grooming pretty alright, largely because of how much he likes to sleep around, he needs to be presentable down there at all times just in case he randomly bags a hottie while he's out. After getting into a relationship, he's a bit more indifferent to it, but still likes to keep it a little tidy for your sake.

Rindou-

A lot of people assume he's also a fuckboy because of Ran, he's not, and that assumption actually bugs him a lot. He finds sleeping around to be pointless and stupid, and he lowkey kind of silently judges Ran for it. He's a sadistic assholes that loves mocking your whining. At least in the bedroom, he's surprisingly sweet otherwise and just in general. But that same sadistic side that shows when he's fighting shows through during sex. I feel like he might bottom with some convincing, but he'll also be a brat. (A brat that sobs openly when edged enough) However he'll do the same to you when things are the other way around. To my masochistic brothers, here's your man. He's safe and consensual about it, maybe periodically checking up on you but he will absolutely pull your hair, bite you, whip you, spank you, slap you, hell maybe even spit on you if that's your thing. He's a pretty big S&M guy in general, but is the world's biggest enthusiast of *safely* practicing bdsm. Informed consent is key with this man (as it fucking should be). He's the type who likes music in the background, but he is willing to let you choose the music. He can go without, but he prefers it with. 6.7 in length I feel like sounds about right for him. He may or may not decide to actually groom down there, no real guarantee, it depends on the day and how he feels. I headcannon him to be borderline or straight up gender fluid, swapping between cis masc and enby. Some days he prefers it with a little bush and other days he's just like "No. No this cannot do, it must go." So, y'know- ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

Sanzu-

Oh, where do I even start with this batshit crazy bastard of a druggie (He's just like me frfr). Admittedly, probably doesn't sleep around much, even though he tries. His crazy scares almost everyone away, if the scars didn't already do the trick (wanna know how I got these scars lookin' headass) but honestly, you probably met him at a bar or a club, and he was probably flirting with you because he's high as shit. I can't see him easily getting into a relationship, but when he does he's absolutely infatuated. Devoted. You are his god. It's almost unsettling how far he's willing to go for you. That also translates into the bedroom. He has his preferences, (AHEM body worship) but assuming he truly does love you and it's not just some spur of the moment one nighter, he's more than willing to do anything, and I mean ANYTHING to please you. No kink too nasty or too far for him. He'll do that in everyday life too. If want him to buy something for you, legal or illegal, he'll do it. He'll make it happen. You hate someone, or someone getting creepy on you? They suddenly go *cough cough* "missing". He loves him some high sex, but I can see him wanting to be at least mostly sober during sex if you're dating. To savor the experience, really. He would totally get high after though. Snorting lines after sex is his go to. A little on the smaller side-ish, maybe around 5.4 or so. But he can use it pretty well if he's sober. He gets sloppy and borderline animalistic when high. He does not care AT ALL about grooming, but again he'd blow up the sun for you if he truly loves you, so he'd do it before you could finish blinking if you ever asked him to.

Izana-

Our favorite half Filipino boy right here. First things first. Sensitive. This man is so incredibly starved for attention and love, he can handle the hardest punches like a champ, but if you lightly and lovingly trace his skin, he's gone. He's dead, putty in your hands. His mind buffers like he's running on widows xp with dial up. He cannot compute this. Rough sex he's fine with, it's probably what he's used to, what he's comfortable with. But soft, gentle, slow sex? It's gonna take a minute to build up to that point. But seriously, hold this man like he's made of glass for a minute, he needs it. He'll complain about it, but he loves it. He so desperately needs someone to show him that sunshine and rainbows even exist at all. He's possesive too. If you show him an ounce of affection, he'll demand gallons and will never let anyone near you. Because how dare you even consider showing anyone else that same affection? It's like how he hates Mikey because of his jealousy over Shinichiro. Anyone who he deems to be a threat, he'll hate them (he's borderlining yandere) Really he's just jealous because he's insecure, give him reassurance and he'll calm down. Well, somewhat. I can imagine him being pretty middle of the road, 5.8 would be my guess. Another type who doesn't pay much mind to his grooming down there, especially in the time skip. Much like Sanzu, this man damn near worships you, so yeah, he'd start manscaping in a heartbeat if you wanted him to. Just ask and he'll do it. Main difference is with Sanzu you 100% have to tell him verbally or he'll never pick up on. Izana may or may not notice if you dislike it, still better to just tell him though. (Communication is good chat, talk to your partners jfc)

Shinichiro-

Awkward dork. Total dweeb and I mean that in the most affectionate way possible. He's a loser and a lame-o, and we all love him for it. He's so babygirl coded fr. He will do everything in his power to please you (and probably fail miserably) whether in the bedroom or not. He tries though, his heart is in the right place and that's what counts. Though he can get a little dejected and self conscious about it, so you just have to remind him that it doesn't bother you and that he's fine the way he is. Please tell him he's fine the way he is. He's tried to dirty talk once before, but ended up stuttering and then became self aware halfway through, visibly cringing because let's be honest, whatever he said was probably pretty cringy. But it just wound up in both of you laughing about it, both in the moment, and looking back on it later. But he does really love you, and it shows in everything he does. I feel like he'd really like cuddle fucking and missionary. Really, he just wants to feel close to you. He likes to be able to hug you while you fuck. He can't dirty talk for the life of him as previously discussed, so he's usually not very verbal, only really moaning out curses or your name. Don't get me wrong, he's vocal, just not verbal. Occasionally when he's in the mood for a more rough type of encounter, he can and will turn into a babbling mess underneath you. However, if you dirty talk to him at all, he will absolutely lose his mind and go beet red, hiding his face in your chest or the crook of your neck. This boy loves nothing more than looking into your eyes, carresing you and kissing you during sex. He's a hopeless romantic is what he is. Actually decently long, 7.6, makes sense, he's over six foot. I feel like he'd definitely try to groom down there when you're dating, but he might fuck up a little and nick himself a couple times. But as always, hell make an effort to look his best and do his best for you.

Wakasa-

Ahem. Point to the best ass eater please?

👉w a k a s a i m a u s h i👈

But seriously. This man's tongue is magical (yes I'm biased, he's my fav leave me tf alone) but really, he gives me the vibe of someone who knows what he's doing. He's got experience and ✨talent✨ in regards to sexy time. And he's strong enough to toss your ass around like a raggedy anne doll, even despite how short he is. C'mon, he's owns a gym and he absolutely kicks ass in a fight, you cannot convince me he couldn't throw me like a tennis ball (I want him to so badly.) Stoner vibes. Hardcore stoner vibes. This man is constantly at least a little buzzed and he's absolutely a plug. You cannot convince me otherwise, I won't listen. This shit is gospel. I feel like he'd be willing to put in some effort for his s/o, but he's a total pillow princess at heart. Whether you're riding him or railing him, as long as he feels good and doesn't have to do shit, he's a happy boy. Really he's just spoiled, doesn't feel like working for a damn thing. He'll get really pouty if you make him beg or work for it, but if you torment and torture him enough he'll comply eventually. Waka is another body worshiper I feel like. Sure, he's a pillow princess, but he likes to have his hands roaming every inch of you at all possible times. His hands and his lips. The softest touches paired with the softest kisses, peppered all over your skin because he just can't get over how perfect you are to him. If you've read my Akihiko x Stoner reader fic, I can imagine that type of scenario. You riding him or him riding you while you share a blunt, just hotboxing yourselves in your room with slow, lazy sex, all of your sense through the damn roof. Another music lover, just something soft and really chill in the background, even better when paired with a good blunt. He's touchy in general when he's high, always having to have contact with you, and he just can't keep himself off of you, same applies to the bedroom, always caressing you without even realizing it. He's packing a relatively solid 5.6. not shabby considering that he's five foot fucking three. Short king, but we love him anyways. I SAID WE STAND WITH OUR SHORT KINGS. He strikes me as the type who grooms semi-frequently, but doesn't obsess about it. He's a lazy guy, but at the same time he doesn't like to be gross y'know? He maintains it, but it's the bare minimum.

Benkei-

Gentle giant, anyone? Because that's what he is. At least when he's with you. Sure, he's only 6'2", but he's pretty fucking wide too. That, and his overall demeanour and personality just gives him the vibe of a big guy. Despite his strength and his tendency to have a hot temper sometimes, he's surprisingly gentle with you. Of course, that's unless you ask him not to be. He'd never dare lay a hand on you in everyday life, but the bedroom has different rules as we all know. He's a big fan of setting up concrete and mutually agreed upon boundaries, and there always has to be a safe word. (Honestly how it should be) Even if you don't have a consent kink, it is undeniabley impressive how hot he can make asking you for verbal consent. He needs explicit verbal consent each time, and absolutely refuses to do anything if either of you are even a little intoxicated unless it was previously discussed. He's such a gentleman in that respect honestly. He'll always listen to your preferences and prioritize your needs first. Even if your into that freaky shit and he's telling you he's just using you as a cock sleeve, really he's always chasing your pleasure more than his own. It's just how he rolls. 7.10, and I will not elaborate. That seems pretty appropriate for him, honestly. He likes to have a bush, but he likes to keep it well kept and trimmed, like how he keeps his beard quite orderly. So there is a tuft of hair down there, black or white, I'm not sure (his natural hair colour isn't confirmed, but I doubt he'd bother dying it.) and it is very well kept. Manscaping is just a part of his everyday routine, same as maintaining his facial hair, he doesn't even think twice about it anymore.

Takeomi-

Another slightly awkward dork, but he tries to pretend he's all confident. May or may not lie about how much experience he has. He might tell you he's slept around a fair bit and dated a lot of people to impress you, but it's obvious he hasn't by how nervous he gets around you. He desperately tried to hide his nervousness too. We all know he's greedy and can get a little self obsessed at times. And I can see why that might make you think that he'd be too much of a narcissist to be a good partner, and I'd say you're only about a quarter right. Yes, having a partner like you would absolutely go to his head a bit. He thinks you're like the best person to ever grace this earth, so he thinks it's a major flex that you'd choose *him* of all people. He would absolutely show you off like some kind of trophy, number one hype man right here. You become his source of pride, next to his gang. I fully believe he's another straight up worshipping type, he thinks you're way too good for him, and as a result hails you like some kind of god and will flaunt you with pleasure. Though if close enough to him, he might be more willing to be vulnerable around you and admit to his overwhelming insecurities and lack of self esteem. It's no secret that his sense of self worth is derived from achievements and material possessions, which is just a tad bit of an issue. Just a tad. This all 100% translates into the bedroom. Tries so hard and fails so miserably to act confident. He'd be more likely to top especially towards the beginning because he feels he has something to prove, he feels that he needs to be more dominant just to show you he cares. But with some time, discussion and a fuckload of reassurance, he'd be willing to bottom. May or may not feel a bit emasculated by it though. Could be a bit of a whiner/whimperer, but again, it takes him a minute to be that comfortable. It's not that he doesn't trust you, he just really doesn't want you to think less of him. Same thing applies to grooming. The only reason he even tries is because he wants to look halfway decent for you. He wants to impress and come across as though he cares. If he cares for himself that makes it seem like he's more capable of caring for you, right? Well, that's his logic anyways. Likes to keep a decent sized tuft of hair because it makes him feel more masculine. Pretty well kept though if I'm being honest, he does a halfway decent job.

[zyettemoon1800]

Hi! Can you possibly write a NSFW alphabet fir hobie brown?

Aftercare

He is so loving after y'all are done. He will go run you both a bath while he gets you both something to eat. However, if you don't want to move or eat anything, then he will just get a towel and clean you off, and make you drink a cup of water before going to bed. If you are also a Spiderman/ spider woman he will make some lame excuse to Miguel as to why yall you can't leave the bed.

Body part

On him, he loves his hands and how they grip your plush stomach or thighs or how he can make you messy in under ten minutes.

Cum

Though he loves you and wants to spend the rest of his life with you, he does not want any kids as of right now and he is not a fan of wrapping it up so he will most likely just pull out and cum on your stomach, face, ass, or back. However, if you are on the pill and you don't mind, he will happily cum in you.

Dirty Secret

I can see Hobie as an exhibitionist. He wouldn't mind taking you underneath a table, on top of a skyscraper, or in an alleyway. However, the one place that he wants to do it more than ever is in Miguel's office. Just the thought of Miguel catching yall makes him ready to explode.

Experience

He is not a man-whore however he has had his fair share of bedroom guests.

Favourite Position

Any position that has you on top of him. He hates the idea that women should only be a bottom and will fight anyone when he says that having women on top is even better. He also likes it when you sit on his face. Weight is not a thing he cares about and he wouldn't mind suffocating beneath a fat pussy and some thick thighs.

Goofy

He is not an overly goofy person when you two are having sex. He might crack a few especially if it's your first time and he is just trying to lighten the mood and get you to relax.

Hair

He does not shave and is a firm believer that you should not do it either. The hair is there for a reason so let it be. Now if you wanna trim it or make your bush into some cool shapes, he is all on board. Depending on what shape you are trying to do, he might just do it with you so yall can match.

Intimacy

It is not rare for him to be seen hanging off of you in some way or another. It's not that is jealous or anything, he just loves being by you.

Jack off

If you are not around and he really needs to rub one off then he will jack off. Always if you are not in the mood, then he will take care of himself

Kinks

Slight Daddy Dom kink

Slight Breeding kink

BDSM ( can go both ways)

Cum Play

Pet Play ( on your part)

Food Kink

Location

He usually will just go into your or his room because he knows that it is the safest option. However, he will also do it on top of a random skyscraper or somewhere in the Spider HQ.

Motivation

Just sit on his lap or bend down to pick up something and he is already to through you on the nearest surface.

No

He is not sharing you with anyone and he will not do anything that you are uncomfortable with or anything too risky

Oral

He is much more into giving than receiving when it comes to orals. He prefers to be buried in you more than anything. However, he wouldn't mind if you gave him a blowjob as a way to get him up in the morning.

Pace

His pace can change from a flip of a coin. Somedays wants to go hard and fast to get rid of any stress that he has, while other times he is soft and sensual.

Quickies

Yes, especially when he should be out on a mission or on patrol

Risk

This man will fuck you in an alleyway by a very busy street and won't stop even if he hears people getting close to yall

Stamina

On a good day he could go maybe three times with ten-minute breaks in between and a round could last for about 20-30 minutes.

Toys

He doesn't mind you using toys on him or on yourself. He is a fan of vibrators and handcuffs.

Unfair

If you are being a brat and just giving him a hard time for no reason then he will edge you for an hour or two and no amount of crying or pleading will make him stop.

Volume

He has always been a vocal person so of course that would extend to the bedroom. He will be in your ear moaning and groaning while calling you a good girl or a slut all depends on what you fancy.

Wildcard

He is known for just throwing you over his shoulder he wants your attention. It doesn't matter who you are talking to.

X-ray

He is about 7 inches soft and 8.5 inches hard. He also has the Jacob's ladder piercing.

Yearning

You really don't have to do much to get him excited, however, he is a sucker for some short shorts or a body con dress. Seeing your curves and rolls just spill over just does something to him.

Zzz…

He doesn't go to sleep directly. He will make sure you are all good and he may play with his guitar for an hour before cuddling up with you.

[gallaghersgal]

hi! i'd like to ask prompt 😈  ─  decide who has been the naughtiest and the nicest and give each other rewards & consequences accordingly  ( can be funny/platonic or sexy/nsfɯ, depending on muses’ relationship ) with lip gallagher x maybe innocent northside!reader

thank you <33

who's naughty and nice || lip gallagher

pairing: lip gallagher x fem!northside!reader

warnings: NSFW 18+ ONLY. porn. oh my god so much porn. lingerie. oral (m receiving). first time, p in v, unprotected. lots and lots of good girl. rambling poetically about sex and love. mention of a random ass made up ex.

a/n: what's one step above overboard? whats where i went with this request. enjoy!!

wordcount: 2k

inspecting the lingerie set lip had gifted you in the mirror, you can't deny. you look sexy. it's a red set with fluffy white trim, perfect for christmas. your parents were out of town for their anniversary. the two of you have the house to yourselves.

"what do you think?" you ask, turning from your shoulders so your ass remains on display to your boyfriend where he sits on your bed. he's got a shit-eating grin on his face, reaching his arms out and beckoning you over. "hold on!" you remark with a giggle, "i've got to put on the finishing touch."

you fish a matte red lipstick out of your makeup organizer, forming your lips into a perfect o. you apply the lipstick, looking him in the eyes as you place the cap back on and toss it onto your desk.

"pretty baby," lip drawls. "fuck- c'mon stop fuckin' teasin' me. jesus!"

he's wearing a christmas sweater you'd bought for him paired with a pair of boxers, jeans long since discarded. you can see the obvious tent, and you grin.

you sit down on the edge of the bed, leaning in to kiss him on the lips. "you've been so good to me this year," you murmur against him.

"yeah? 'm i on the nice list baby?" his pretty eyes stare into yours, twinkling in the light of your desk lamp. "y'gonna give me a present?"

you giggle, nodding and kissing his cheek before crawling over to straddle him. his hands fall so easily to your hips and you revel in the warmth of his skin against yours. time like this with lip is precious. the quieter times, just the two of you. you cherish them.

"my pretty baby," he whispers. it's reverent. he never thought he had a chance with you. "my girl. my smart girl, my kind girl, my sexy baby. all wrapped up like a perfect fuckin' present. and all f'me, too."

a whimper passes through your lips as he bites at your neck, soothing the skin with his tongue. he grinds his hips up into you, holding you down against him. "whatcha wanna do tonight? anythin' you want, no pressure or anything. 's just me, yeah?"

"i know," you coo, running your fingers over the heated skin under the hem of his sweater. "i..." you trail off, biting your lip and feeling your skin flush. god, why was this so hard? it's just lip, you tell yourself.

one strong hand lands under your chin, tilting it up. his voice is soft when he speaks. "hey, kid, look at me, yeah?" he's good to you. god, he's so good to you. you look him in the eyes, face burning. "hi baby," he whispers.

"hi lip."

"there we are, lemme see that pretty smile." he kisses your forehead, each of your cheeks, your nose, and then your lips. "listen, you don' gotta be scared, or embarassed, or anythin' you're feelin' right now. i can see the gears turning in that pretty li'l noggin of yours." he taps the side of your head and you giggle.

"lip... i wanna," you suck in a soft breath, tummy flipping as his thumb rubs your cheek. "i wanna suck you off."

lip swears under his breath, pupils dilating ever so slightly as he bites his lip. you can tell he's eager. "shit- baby girl," he grins, pressing a kiss to your lips. "'m not gonna say no t' that. are you sure? i know y'never-"

"i want to."

you're firm, ready to try something new for your boyfriend. he gives so much, pleasuring you with an intensity you've never experienced at your own hand. you want to offer the same to him.

a grin spreads across his face as eager hands strip off the christmas sweater. your fingers trace over the newly exposed skin, trailing down until they brush the waistband of his boxers. you slink down, keeping eye contact until you're level with his hips.

lip watches in wonder as you trace delicate, curious fingers over the outline of his cock. he's hard, and so so warm under your hand. his own hand comes to hold your cheek, gentle and reassuring. it's so easy to love him, you think.

you press one chaste kiss to the head before your fingers pull his boxers down. "tell me if i'm... tell me if 's not good, okay?

lip chuckles, "sweetheart, if lizzy fuckin' walker can do it you can, m'kay? y'gonna do great." your lips form a stubborn pout, eyes narrowing as you look up at him. "shit- yeah, no ex talk. 'm sorry baby."

he pats your cheek sweetly, "you're gonna be fuckin' perfect. i promise." his smile is genuine, cheeks rosy, chest rising and falling with soft breaths, and you wonder why you had ever been scared.

you sink down again, salty taste meeting your lips as you take just the tip into your mouth. he's thick, barely enough to fit into your hand, but you're determined. you take the base in your hand, pumping in soft strokes the same way you've seen him touch himself. a grunt falls from his lips as you take him deeper, swirling your tongue around the head.

"easy baby, teeth," he murmurs. "tha's it. good girl."

you pull off of him, stroking him a few more times before licking him from base to tip. you squeeze your thighs against each other as you press wet, open-mouthed kisses along his length. "lip, y've been so fuckin' good to me," you tell him, sending vibrations through him and tingles up his spine. "wanna treat you the way you treat me."

lip groans as you lick over the tip, taking him a little deeper than before. the feeling is addictive, you can feel his heartbeat throbbing through the vein that runs along the underside of his dick. "shi- shit, pretty baby," he whines. he fucking whines. it's exhilarating.

you pump him quicker with your hand, swirling your tongue all around what you can fit in your mouth. his hands are gripping your hair, gentle tugs here and there as he starts to lose himself in the pleasure.

you're soaked, the lace of the pretty panties he had gifted you becoming tacky with the feeling of your arousal. lip coos down at you, "pretty baby, so good to me. y'feelin' good? huh?"

you draw off his cock again, keeping your lips seductively parted as you peer up at him. you nod slowly and wipe your mouth with the back of your hand. lip's hands move from your hair to your waist, yanking you to him.

"my pretty fuckin' present. lets get this off'a ya," he murmurs against your lips, slipping his tongue into your mouth as he unclasps your bra. in an instant his hands are on your tits, caressing the soft skin. "all soft 'n willin' 'n pretty f'me, yeah? my good girl."

"lip," you murmur, your speech slurring against his mouth. "i wan' you t'fuck me."

"baby-" he gasps, fingers playing with the little ties at your hip. "wanted this so bad, didn' wanna ask-"

"shhh, please. jus-" you break off into a moan when lip sucks your nipple into his mouth. "ah! jus' fuck me, please i want it."

in one smooth motion you're flipped on your back, whining at the force of it. his hands pull at the strings holding your red panties up until the fabric hangs loose. you could never get tired of this. he's so pretty, so sweet, his blue eyes keeping yours in a steady gaze as he pulls your waistband down slow, slow, slow.

warm breath fans out over now bare skin, goosebumps erupting over your whole body. "so fuckin' perfect. lemme kiss ya, sweet girl."

you whine when his lips make contact with your clit, placing one chaste kiss there before paving a trail up your body. a string of hickeys and bite marks is left in his wake until he arrives at his destination.

then, he kisses you like he needs it to breathe.

which, truthfully, he kind of does. you're his resolve. his shelter.

"'m gonna be real good t'ya," he whispers, like a promise. "you want me t'stop, or do anythin' different, y'just tell me, okay?"

you smile at him, leaning up to kiss him once, twice, until you can't breathe. then you tell him, "i trust you."

"good, tha's how we want it." his hands are gentle along your body, fingers dipping into your core. his thumb ribs your clit for a moment, just to hear you whine, before one finger slips so easily inside you. "fuck, baby, y've never been this fuckin' wet. think you can take another?"

you nod, moaning as a second finger fills you so deliciously. it's so good. he's so good. you buck up against him, craving it harder, deeper. "please, lip, need you."

"shhh, i know. my good girl." lip lines himself up with your entrance, pushing in slowly.

your head tilts back with a sweet whine as he fills you. lip's feeling it too, a soft groan falling from his mouth as his eyes screwed shut in pleasure. your skin together is so warm, the feeling so intimate. you could never feel anything but this when you were with him. warm, safe, adored.

his hips have stilled, cock deep inside you and throbbing with the feel of it. "c'mon lip, please?" you ask, voice soft and quiet. with a whisper of a kiss against your chin he starts to move, and god, it feels like heaven. you watch with curious, lidded eyes as his hips move against you. the way his abs flex, the way his chest heaves with every stroke, it's all too much.

the feeling builds, and lip smothers your cheek with kisses. "so good, fuckin' tight as shit. squeezin' the life outta me, jesus."

you whimper his name, grabbing onto his arms and relaxing your body. "wan' it harder- come on handsome," you beg.

his teeth bury into your shoulder as his hips speed up. "tha's my girl, takin' it so well. how y'feelin? good, huh?"

"g-good. so good."you can barely speak, whines and babbles spilling from your parted lips while the white hot coil in your stomach twists just that little bit tighter. "'m close, fuck! i'm sorry i-"

his lips silence your words as he fucks you harder. "don' say any of that, y'doin' so good."

you begin to lose any semblance of focus, eyes darting about the ceiling tiles as the wave of your pleasure begins to crest. the sounds of the city, the quiet hum of the fan, the music playing from your ipod in the corner, all of it fades. all that's left is the obscene sounds of skin on skin.

one rough palm meets the underside of your knee and he murmurs against your skin, "this 's gonna make it feel better." he hooks your leg around his hips, pushing in deeper and drawing a lewd moan from you. "that's it. you gonna cum f'me?"

"y-yes! fuck, yes, lip-" your thighs begin to shake as your orgasm builds, teetering just on the brink of being washed over with pleasure.

the moment the rough pad of his thumb brushes your clit, the tension snaps. you throw your head back with a chorus of curses and moans of his name. your vision goes white and your body goes limp, letting go and choosing to feel. feel the way his hips begin to stutter, the way his hand eases your clit through it, the way his mouth buries itself in the place where your shoulder meets your neck and whispers a sweet string of praises.

"w-where," lip asks, "fuck- baby, where?"

"inside," you whimper. "don' care- please," it sounds restless coming from your lips.

he cums inside of you with one final stroke, body going limp on top of yours, and then it's all sweat sticky skin and soft kisses and whispers of your affection. he praises you like never before, whispering how good you've done and how pretty you are. his pretty girl.

when you've both come down from the high, after you've showered, indulged in your full nighttime routine, and made lip do the same, you lay limp and sated in his strong arms. one hand finds it's place on your ass, the other circling gently around your shoulders to hold you close to his body.

"merry christmas, pretty girl," he murmurs.

"merry christmas lip."

end.

my masterlist. my winter sleepover.

[octuscle]

I like to be a fighter from Albania, Serbia or another country like these: good looking, strong and proud and producing at least 12 sons as little fighters too. Dream or reality? you choose, chronivac

Strange wish for a 45-year-old administrative employee at Swiss Post. This is not exactly the place for fighters…

When you finish work, your body feels exhausted. Not like after a physically strenuous day… More like after hard work. Or after a visit to the gym. Not that you've ever been to a gym… Or ever worked hard physically… It's a strange feeling. And it doesn't go away when you enjoy the end of the day with a beer in front of the TV as usual. Actually, you should have been watching a thriller right now. But you're watching the Serbian soccer league. One hand on the beer bottle. One always on your cock and your balls…

Something is different the next morning… You have a lot more beard than usual. Looks good. Why do you always go to the office clean-shaven? You trim the beard a little. Feels very normal. Where's your deodorant? Never mind, I'll have to go without it today… You grab your briefcase, pack your breakfast sandwich and set off for work on your bike. You sit down at your desk. You start working on files. You have trouble sitting still. Shit, you need to move! During your lunch break, you go to the Balkan grill. And you don't realize that you're talking in Serbian to the other men who are taking their break standing up. After your lunch break, you make your rounds through the building. Your job at the in-house post office is not particularly demanding. But you can't imagine working at a desk. You need to get moving. That's why you can't wait to go to the gym after work. Get your muscles burning first. And then train your skills as a street fighter in the ring.

It's a long streetcar ride to the council housing estate on the outskirts of the city. It's one of the first warm evenings. A few of your neighbors are sitting with a beer at the playground in front of one of the run-down apartment blocks. You join them. You don't feel like going back to the small apartment you share with your siblings.

You share your room with two of your brothers. They both work on the assembly line and are on the late shift this week. You try not to wake anyone when you get up at 4:30 am. The garbage collection job is hard work, but it pays well. You can save a lot of money so that you can soon afford your own little house in Belgrade. Zurich is a good city to earn money. But not to live here.

You are a man's household. You can see that. Your bathroom is pretty filthy. Well, you don't really hit the toilet bowl yourself when you piss. Apart from that, just a bit of washing up. What's the point of more? You'll start sweating faster than you'd like.

Most of the guys who work with you are from the Balkans. Many from Croatia and Bosnia. Their parents often fled from your parents during the civil war. But you don't give a damn. The Balkans are the Balkans. In a foreign country with the snooty Swiss, that welds you together. You are a close-knit community. A community of real men. Not wimps like the locals. You are brothers. You have more brothers than the six men you share the apartment with. And you all meet up at the gym in the evenings. The only place where you spend a few of your hard-earned Swiss francs. The rest is saved for a better future.

There is no better place than the gym. Hard training, hard fights, hard sex. Yes, sometimes you also have to bang a woman. So as not to get out of practice. And Swiss whores are easy to come by. You're all real guys who look and smell like men. The whores don't find anything like that among their fellow countrymen. But it's even better if one of your compatriots or an inferior Christian from the Balkans loses to you in a boxing match. The loser gets fucked. And you fuck a lot!

[cowgirlcherrie]

hiii :) i was wondering if you could do headcanons of modern! ellie

Hiii lovie of course!!!! ♡♡

a/n: this is kinda drabble-ish but would love to do more of these, so keep requesting them LOL! This is a little sporadic but I love it, so I hope you enjoy <3

warnings(?): not really much mostly fluff sfw, with slight suggestive undertones but really if you squiiint

modern! Ellie headcanons

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

♡ Ellie would definitely be in college, part of her doesn't know fully why she applied but she was giving it a shot

♡ totally an undecided major, science? teaching? psychology? She really doesn't know at first but settled on psychology so she could get her degree

♡ makes you wear a necklace with her initial on it (totally possessive)

♡ magically always had weed, which was also confusing at first but she just had that good of connections around town with local plugs and dispensaries.

♡ always has a blunt tucked behind one ear

♡ makes you trim her hair because she doesn’t trust anyone else touching anything on her body.

♡ always loosing her lighter so you bedazzled it and she literally never lost it after that, she would rather die before losing that lighter now

♡ if you have stuffed animals, she tries to remember their names but gets them wrong every time

♡ A few months into dating when labels were now on the relationship, would gift you little things and act like it wasn't her.

♡ once gifted you pre-rolled blunts and you were definitely confused but before you could give them back would kiss your cheeks before saying "No take backs"

♡ keys jingle when she walks, and it's loud asf too!!

♡ whenever you can't find her she's definitely in the gym

♡ low-key would get addicted to going in her free-time ( gym rat ellie ?????)

♡ definitely rubs your back while you are studying or working from home, keeps one arm rubbing circles in your lower back and another on her phone, she enjoyed the comfort of being close even though you kept shushing her. (she’s definitely playing subway surfers or scrolling on tiktok)

strong believer that she would accidentally get tiktok famous, but everything she would post after that one thirst trap would be just videos of you

♡ loves dressing you up, quite literally sits at the edge of the bed while you try on different clothes leaning back as you come out of the bathroom,

"Twirl for me doll,"

" I love that color, you should wear that more often"

♡ one day when you see her playing guitar and beg on her lap that you want to learn, Ellie will literally take you to the guitar center the next day to get you your very own

♡ spoils the crap out of you!!!!!

♡ lovesss teasing you and resting her hands on your upper thigh especially when you wear something revealing like skirts or shorts, she tucks her hand way too close up.

♡ touchy touchy touchy! always has to be touching you somehow

♡ leaving kisses on your neck 24/7 because of the way you jump when her lips touch your skin

♡ skincare nights go so crazy, took a lot of convincing, but will be right next to you with a facemask on while you watch a good show

♡ definitely dominant 80% of the time

♡ pet name Warriorrrr ( baby this...doll that) she literally doesn't stop

♡ if you ever go to a party together definitely shares alcohol with you so you don't drink too much

♡ if you are drunk after will take your make-up off and do your night time routine for you

♡ wakes up late as fuck!!! totally wakes up at 2pm like its nothing

♡ definitely mean to everyone else but you.

I'm talking about glaring at people 24/7, crazy attitudes, and people basically asking for permission before they speak.

♡ whenever she catches you doing your natural hair, begs to help which results in her wanting to do it every washday

♡ at first, Ellie didn't understand the hype behind matching fits but does it just for you

♡ overall Ellie is just a simp for you like literally only cares about you, weed, and getting money

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 5/28/2024

we are rapidly approaching the one-year anniversary of my ill-fated cross country move. i have changed from having a bad time in massachusetts to having a bad time in texas, but this time with my best friend's shoulder to cry on in real life. so an improvement i suppose

listening

i can't fucking believe this wasn't already in my driving playlist. thanks autogenerated spotify dance playlist

-

reading

the maltese falcon by dashiell hammett. i didn't really appreciate philip marlowe the-human-detective-not-my-cat's bisexual eye for interior design and outfits until i started reading this book. this passage really threw me with regards to shoes before pants in what i assume is a fairly normal suit and not a specific type of formalwear? i have a very specific blind fashion blind spot and that's pre-wwii menswear

this led to an absolutely VICIOUS argument with my bestie bc our grandfathers were from very different eras and held themselves to very different levels of formality. hers was a fancy white collar bastard and mine wasn't. i never saw mine in a suit outside a funeral.

anyway i KNOW that the fashion in the latter half of the twenties up to WWII was for a very wide legged pant (the oxford bag) and i GUESS you could certainly shove your whole goddamn shoe down that leg but like. it threw me. socks before pants, certainly. especially if you have to fuck with sock garters. but shoving your whole shoe down a pant leg seems. well it just seems. there's an order of operations i thought was sacred for most things. was the seat truly so tight in an oxford bag. are suspenders really that awful to bend over in. so much womens formalwear is uncomfy on purpose so i feel like i have a skewed view of acceptable pain for an outfit to cause you

why am i reading this? can you think of a more on-brand book for me to read? please let me know if you do and i'll add it to The Pile

-

watching

the tremendously charming soviet childrens film The Tale of Tsar Saltan (1967, Ptushko). court intrigue! a swan princess! giants marching out of the sea! a slightly unsettling squirrel puppet shelling gold and emerald walnuts! a lot of sight gags, some lovely ballet sequences, and there are so many little moving parts to look at in each scene. at its densest it's like howl's bedroom in howl's moving castle

this was on my library's streaming platform Kanopy and i had credits to use up.

-

playing

two things in genshin that took absolutely forever to accomplish:

i finally maxed out the overall XP system (not the character XP system) so the game's just been chucking in-game currency at me instead, which has been helpful!

and i finally caught two thousand fish! very nice to clear like forty fishing spot markers i put down on my map, in advance of the forty billion markers i'll want to put down to mark stuff in the next big release at the end of the summer.

i forgot that i can use my desktop for things that aren't genshin and applying to jobs, so i reinstalled steam and fired up powerwash simulator. they popped out one new DLC in the year since i touched it, a santa's workshop level last winter. a good hour well spent. i spent a LOT of time with this game right before my move last year and it did genuinely help my anxiety.

-

making

not a fallow week but a pictureless week. ended up painting most of my best friend's bedroom bc we didn't have anything better to do on a saturday night. i think this was the hardest i've ever raw-dogged a painting project bc we had no tarps or painters tape or paint trays or rollers wider than 3". just a bucket of paint and a need to make the half-painted bedroom wall look nicer for her new job zoom training. we have to do a lot of things like move the bed and paint that wall, and paint the ceiling, and do all the trim + doors, but it does look much nicer on zoom now!

[kerakeriza]

may i ask why you dislike the gray suit of damian, while I don't have an opinion on it I'm genuinely curious to yours

OH I AM HAPPY TO ELABORATE!!! please excuse how angry i sound. that is because i have been frustrated and angry all freaking day and i am so so glad to have an outlet for that anger via totally destroying the absolute TRAINWRECK that is his ugly gray suit.

here is the reference picture i will be using.

literally the worst color balance ever. why are only his mask, belt buckle, and shoelaces green? why is only the inside of his cape yellow? why is everything else gray!?!?!??! just the whole color pallete and the amounts of each color is horrendous. i can't even begin to describe how awful the PLACEMENT of each color is either.

2. his mask doesn't even fucking connect in the middle. he looks stupid. really, really stupid. he's not some mysterious magic guy who would have a reason to have his mask look like big bug eyes. he just looks stupid. we all know he's a powerless vigilante. it's dumb.

3. WHY does his collar splay out so weakly. either go all the way or don't go out at all. and why are the collar and hood's insides suddenly red? is he roleplaying as dracula? is that his problem? notice how it doesn't FUCKING match the mask. there is zero gradient here. straight green to red. he's like if a vampire was being forced to dress up like santa claus. why is he giving christmas? it's stupid. don't even get me STARTED on the random fucking... bars? under his neck. what the fuck ARE those? they're literally pointless. they clearly aren't holding anything together. they look nothing like cape clasps. they're literally just random metal bars on his clavicle for no goddamn reason. it's stupid. he looks stupid.

4. again a horrible awful terrible color gradient. deep vampire red to fucking cool dull gray. WITH YELLOW BEHIND HIM... ughhh. and the R looks so fucking stupid. he looks like he bought a knockoff red R from comic con or something and just pinned it there because that's where the R is ~supposed~ to go and not because it makes any sort of sense. why is it right smack dab in the middle of that red outline? it looks RIDICULOUS!

5. more random pointless garbo. the fuck are these straps for? just to make the suit harder to draw? is he trying to crush his own ribcage? the fuck are these FOR? besides looking ugly and stupid i mean. and why are they a lighter gray? they clash even more with the red than the darker gray does.

6. you look at this tiny baby cuck gloves and tell me that looks even halfway decent. first of all - again the red looks like ass with that yellow backdrop. is he cosplaying a condiment drawer? he's rocking both ketchup AND mustard i guess! and why the fuck are the gloves so SMALL? so SHORT? why have them cuffed to look like armor if they're just gonna be so small they invoke fully cloth gloves instead? the fuck is that for? and where did the SPIKES go? he LIKED the glove spikes. he was very obviously aiming for fatherly approval. it's not as if you can convince me he has his father's approval NOW, looking like such hot garbage. he looks like if condiment king had bad sushi for lunch and threw it back up and damian dug his costume out of the bile.

7. tell me, is it supposed to be a D? or an arrow? you'll notice how neither of those options make for an actual good idea. and why. is. it. GREEN! it matches NOTHING! and once more, the light gray? seriously? over a black belt on top of a darker gray suit? i can't even fully articulate just how ugly that fucking belt buckle is. awful shape, worse color, and it looks like a piece of shiny plastic that's painted to look like metal but really you know damn well it's plastic because you got it at the fucking dollar tree.

8. does the designer of this atrocity know that all the pointed edges only work if it looks intentional? the red tunic with yellow trim made it look good. it slayed. but the same monotone gray all over the tunic just looks sad. weak. like nobody bothered hemming his clothes. but that's not even the worst part. the worst part is how overdone all the sharp pointy triangles get. once you see the boots it's like, oh, he's just all edge and no point, huh?

9. why the fuck are the red outlines so BOLD here. so PROTRUDING... it looks just plain creepy. and why does the actual knee have to be the same color as the red of his pants, which are the same color as his tunic? it's so fucking BORING!

10. oh boy more useless metal bars clinging to his clothes for no reason! again, it's ugly as shit, has no purpose, and only exists to make the design look somehow even worse than it already does. NEXT!

11. these disgusting, grody ass pixie boot sneakers make me wanna snap somebody's neck. why are they so short? why do they have a double cuff? why are they literally just fucking sneakers with a rhino horn glued on? why is there a red squiggle down the middle? why are they a light gray? why is the sole red? did he buy them from the toddler section? actually, no, even toddler shoes have better color coordination than whatever the fuck is going on here. those green laces are the worst part of all. couldn't even do a dark gray for that, huh? the literal worst possible choice in color is exactly what they went for each fucking time but ESPECIALLY for these fucking boots. no, they're not boots, they're sneakers. my bad. these fucking SNEAKERS are so goddamn WACK that i think the only way anyone would actually buy them and wear them is if you slapped a 10,000 USD price tag on them and sold them under the gucci label, making way for young money influencers to waste all their cash on ugly garbage just to make a statement about how much money they have instead of spending their time and resources on actually developing a sense of style. but that's being generous, because not even gucci would sell something this fuck-ugly.

i'd waste my time redesigning this suit but i fear it'd drive me insane. my time would be far better spent analyzing costumes that actually look good and talking about why they work and are not so ugly they make me wish i could pour bleach into my eyes without dying.

[omgahgase]

modern au were obi-wan is the bob ross of the PBS channel and cody tunes in for every episode

i saw a video of bob ross doing his thing on tiktok and my mind immediately conjured up obi-wan as bob ross, thus leading to cody developing a lil super fucking big crush on the pretty painter with a nice voice. i don't really know where i was going with this, but i had fun while doing it, and isn't that the whole point? the fic's under the cut, i hope you enjoy!

it started off as him dabbling in the arts, wanting to learn how to paint landscapes bc, as a nature photographer, he can capture nature's beauty, but he just can't paint it from his mind's eye.

he heard from his brothers about a tv show starring a guy who paints beautifully in simple and easy instructions so cody—thinking it's not possible to fuck it up if even his most creatively challenged kin can do it—can do it as well.

only, cody did fuck up and it's bc the guy who greeted him with a friendly, "hello there," and said that they're going to paint today is super fucking pretty and has the gentlest, most relaxing voice cody has ever heard. he's wearing a simple button up and slacks, his beard is neatly trimmed, and his eyes—dear god his eyes. they're a stunning light blue but under different lighting they shift from green to grey to—is that a mole? cody squints, leans in real close to the tv screen, and he groans. this guy has a beauty mark to the right of his nose, a little ways below his eye and it's so fucking endearing. he even has an accent, one cody can't decipher when his gaze is trained on the painter's—obi-wan's, his mind helpfully remembers—long, elegant fingers. hold a brush, a knife, gesturing in quick, stuttery movements, anything his hands do, cody's eyes follow relentlessly. obi-wan is saying something about happy clouds and reassuring his audience that even if they mess up, it's okay bc it's their world that they're creating so mistakes are happy little accidents and, suddenly, cody doesn't care about his blank canvas. all he wants to do is watch this pretty man with the velvet soft voice speak to him and say that life has its ups and downs but it's still a beautiful thing that cody should be happy to take part in.

and cody is happy, very happy, actually, bc with his new found motivation to watch every single episode, he learns how to paint. he learns newfound patience for himself that he thought he mastered after raising so many of his brothers. hell, he even develops a celebrity crush on obi-wan bc no one has ever spoken to him like that and, despite it being through a screen, cody feels as if he's painting with obi-wan for real, as if he's right next to cody, guiding him through creating trees and oceans out of nothing.

though, after so many weeks of watching, cody's crush stays as stand-still as ever when the person you long to know on a personal level doesn't even know you exist.

cody guesses that's why he books a little trip to the mountains, to take a break from the screen and from painting to go back to his first passion of photography. cody hikes through the shrubbery and finds himself wandering on a cliff looking out across the deep, green valley of forestry and rivers, content to snap as many photos as his camera's memory allows. he breaths in the fresh, crisp air and feels at home amongst the chirping birds, the sounds of shifting earth and rushing water, and for the first time in months, cody allows himself to forget about the pretty painter who so carefully carved himself a place in cody's mind.

(and in cody's heart, but he's not ready to admit how far his crush has gone.)

it's sunset when cody starts descending down the mountain trail and sees an open area overlooking the west. his photo-hungry brain tells him to capture one more picture of the sun's rays, the oranges, reds, and yellows blending into deep, dark purples and blues. he quickly jumps off the trail and makes his way to the opening through the trees, but stops short when he notices a painter, engrossed in his art and the beauty of the sun setting behind a curtain of mountains, facing the spectacle at the perfect angle—the same angle cody was hoping to stand in.

it's fine, though, because after carefully stepping around the painter because cody knows on a deep, personal level how frustrating it is to be interrupted in the middle of your craft, he finds a spot that's just as good as the one he wanted. cody gets his camera out and takes the obligatory photos his brain is telling him to take. After a couple dozen, he feels satisfied with the landscape's outcome, but a louder, more intuitive-feeling voice is saying to snap a photo of the painter.

cody doesn't photograph people, he found that he'd rather take his skills to the outdoors where he feels more comfortable, but now he has a deep, almost painfully knowing need to take at least one picture of the man standing with his back to cody. so cody does. he moves quietly, swiftly hopping over fallen twigs as to not step on one and spook the painter (and ultimately rat himself out in the creepiest way possible). cody has a stunning view of the canvas and it's breathtakingly likelihood of the setting sun and blooming night sky, but the man's face is covered by the collar of his jacket and the beanie sitting low on his head. cody feels a pang of disappointment at not being able capture the man's side profile, but the sun is quickly fading and he's in a race against time to still have enough lightning to showcase the canvas, so he snaps a photo.

then that photo turns into two, then three, and by the fourth one, cody's camera is bursting with shutter sounds that echo across the clearing. but the painter still hasn't noticed him. cody, thanking whoever's looking down on him, is eternally grateful because with how he's crouched behind a tree and pointing his camera directly at him, the painter wouldn't hesitate to call authorities on him at first glance.

with his need quelled, cody decides on one more photo for the road when a merciless gust of wind rips past both of them. the painter's hat floats off his head and he immediately drops his brush to reach for it, collar lowered and face fully exposed in cody's direction and—

"no fucking way," cody whispers.

click!

the fly-away beanie hits cody right in the face and over his camera lens, but he got it. he took a photo of the painter who, in just the few seconds his face was unobstructed, struck a chord of familiarity deep in cody's chest because he looks exactly like the reason why cody decided to escape into the mountains.

frantically, cody ignores the "hey!" called out to him in favor of scrambling behind his hiding place and desperately scrolling through his photos for the last one taken. he mentally curses himself for not changing the default settings and starting from his most recent photo as he fingers through the hundreds of previous ones he took. cody is almost to the bottom with the tiniest sliver of hope a frenzied, erratic thing rattling around in his chest when he hears footsteps getting closer.

he's there, he's almost there, just a little further down and he'll see if it's really—his camera dies. right in his hands.

cody lets out a frustrated, low guttural groan at his luck because of course this happens. he wouldn't have expected anything less when it comes to him because only cody can develop a crush on a man who doesn't know he exists then creepily stalk someone who looks scarily similar to said obtainable man. who's cody kidding? he's hallucinating, for christ's sake. he would've followed an apparition off a cliff if it looked like obi-wan and cody isn't afraid to admit that now.

the footsteps grow in volume until a pair of heavy hiking boots stand right in front of cody, most likely attached to a pair of legs that'll lead up to a man who's seconds away from calling the police.

"excuse me?" he says.

"yeah, yeah," cody waves him off, dejected and uncaring of how rude he might sound. he stands on shaky legs and shoulders his camera, eyes unable to move from his feet. he unclenches the beanie in his hand and dusts off pieces of leaves imbedded in the knitting. "Sorry about that, i'll delete the photos if you want. i know i didn't get your permission and it's super fucking creepy of me to just take photos of you—"

"on the contrary," the man says, "if you were taking photos of me, i'd very much like to see them.

the man has such a familiar accent that it has cody's head shooting straight up because there's no fucking way.

"hello there," obi-wan greets, grinning that sweet, gentle smile he wears during every episode of his show.

"uh—um. h-hi." god, could cody sound anymore stupider?

obi-wan's smile broadens and isn't that something? being on the receiving end of something cody's ever seen through a screen? cody feels like he just ascended.

"would you mind sharing them?" obi-wan asks, pointing to cody's camera. "it's not every day i allow someone to take candids of me, especially by someone as handsome as yourself."

okay, cody must've hit his head on something because the guy he's been crushing for months did not just call him handsome. there's just no fucking way.

"uh—i, um," cody clears his throat and manages not to choke on the embarrassed little stutter of his voice, then says with barely any mind, "yes, i'd like that."

if the sun were to burn out in that instant, then cody believes that the unrestricted smile obi-wan gives him could take it's place. it's bright and so genuine for someone he doesn't know let alone just met, and cody thinks he's undeserving of such a thing.

"wonderful. if you'd let me just pack up my things, then we can walk back together."

"i can help!" cody so foolishly blurts. he flushes, cheeks warming under obi-wan's gaze and...and he really doesn't care anymore. Because obi-wan's laughing and the corners of his eyes are crinkling in that cute way he laughs at himself when he makes a mistake on his canvas, and cody thinks this is the most mortified he's ever felt. but dear god is it worth it. he'll embarrass himself to hell and back if it means obi-wan can giggle like that again.

obi-wan takes him up on his offer and that's how cody finds himself standing stiffly next to him, holding open a briefcase as obi-wan carefully places each tube of paint back into it's labeled home. he handles his equipment with grace, the same way cody handles his cameras, and it strikes it then: that he's actually here. obi-wan is in front of him, talking about his reasonings for trekking out this far from his studio and why he's so particular about the set up of his paint, a fact cody knows from his hours of sitting in front of a screen with or without paint and a canvas, and he's speaking to cody in that soft, gentle tone of his that cody—cody can't make a fool of himself anymore than before, so what's there to lose?

"i watch your show," cody says all in a single breath. obi-wan stops talking, a bit startled from cody's outburst, and raises a curious, bushy eyebrow.

"do you now?"

cody nods because it's the only thing his body knows how to do while under the undivided attention of a pretty man.

"yes, all the time. i-i've seen every episode. and i've even thought of sending in a letter and photo of my paintings but i just—i never did."

obi-wan hums, inquisitive, the sound warming something gentle behind cody's ribs. "why is that?"

cody shrugs. he's not about to admit that if he did then he'd be acknowledging how permeant obi-wan's become in his life, a deeply-rooted thing that cody thinks about every hour of every day and has never felt such strong feelings for despite never meeting in person.

that is, until now.

"didn't get around to it," he says instead. obi-wan takes that as an acceptable answer, though, because as soon as it fully sinks in, he's leveling cody with a hopeful stare so promising that the warmth in cody's chest implodes, nearly caving him from the inside out.

"well, i'd love to see those too, if you'd let me." obi-wan swipes the tip of his tongue across his lower lip in an unsure fidget—an action that cody's eyes greedily devour because how could he not?—then he's speaking with certainty that cody only wishes he could have. "i'm not sure why we're meeting like this, nor do i think it's just a coincidence that my hat decided to leave my head and assault you like that." they share a laugh, a private, little thing that cody's going to treasure forever. "but i feel like—like something is telling me to not let you go."

cody eagerly nods along because he knows. he's felt that exact same stomach-swooping tug the moment obi-wan appeared on his screen with a blank canvas and an open smile, happy to meet someone he can't even see.

"same here," cody agrees. "i feel it too, like there's something leading me to you. a—a sort of—"

"force," obi-wan breathes, eyes shining in the dimming light of the setting sun. "yes, exactly that. i'd like to further understand that feeling, why it's there and what not. and," obi-wan takes the case from cody and steps closer to him, until there's barely a foot's length of space between them. standing this close, with obi-wan looking directly into cody's eyes, cody can see that obi-wan's taller than him by a few inches at most. cody would've never learned that though a screen.

"i'd like to get to know you, too," obi-wan says, voice a velvet soft litany in cody's ears. "if you'd let me that is," he adds as an afterthought as if cody would say no.

as if cody would say anything other than yes.

"i'd like that." he smiles, the corners of his lips stretching side across his face, a mirror imitation of obi-wan's.

the sun has fully descended behind the west mountains by the time cody and obi-wan are finished, everything packed up in the bag that hangs from obi-wan's shoulders. the ground lights on the trail illuminate the path back to the main road and they follow it engaged in conversation about cody's work and obi-wan's humble beginnings, for the tv show and even before his decision to become an artist.

"i wanted to be a singer," he confesses, shyly looking down at his boots as if they're more interesting than the disbelieving look on cody's face.

"you can sing?" obi-wan nods, a cute, little shake of his head and cody's heart soars. "i can play the guitar. and i sing a little, too."

"really?" it's obi-wan's turn to look at him, eager and nothing short of extraordinary. "amazing. then you can serenade me as i paint elaborate landscapes dedicated to your likeliness."

that pulls a laugh from cody, the sound a joyous echo in the forests space. "don't get ahead of yourself, pretty boy. serenading is third date material," he says, then promptly shuts his mouth. maybe cody can get stupider because what the actual fuck? he chances a glance at obi-wan to make sure he hasn't disrupted the casual thing they have conspiring between them, but his expression in unreadable in the dark of the forest.

in that next second, they step back onto the main road and underneath a streetlamp shining down on a large map that reads 'YOU ARE HERE' with a bright, red arrow pointing at their location. in the light, cody can see obi-wans pondering stare, the furrow of his brows and hand under his chin. cody closes his eyes, sure he messed up a good thing before it even started.

"would dinner tomorrow night at my hotel count as our first, then?" obi-wan asks, timbre high and expectant.

cody releases the shaky breath that was caught in his lungs, relieved. then, because he's feeling bold and stupid and so revved up on everything obi-wan, he says, "no, that would count as our second. splitting a shake and some fries at that mcdonald's down the road can count as our first, though."

obi-wan starts to grin that happy pull of his lips cody's seen as many times as he can count on his tv and he wonders how many dates it'll take to kiss a different sort of happiness to obi-wan's mouth.

"sharing milkshakes already, are we? how brave. we've already evolved so far into our relationship and i don't even know your name."

cody mentally berates himself because, yeah. with all the excitement and emotions running him through the ground, he forgot the most important thing when trying to shoot your shot with the pretty painter: his goddamn name.

"i'm cody. cody fett," he introduces, hopefully sounding cooler than he really is when he's pushing 35 and desperately pining over someone he's met just shy of ten minutes ago. though, cody's known obi-wan for months now, so maybe he's not a total loser. cody shifts his camera strap more securely over his shoulder then extends his right hand. "it's a pleasure to meet you. and you are?"

obi-wan giggles and no matter how many times cody hears it from now and how ever long he's able to, he's sure he'll never get used the gentle chime of it, how it's directed to and for him alone.

"hello there, i'm obi-wan kenobi." obi-wan takes his hand in a firm grip and cody swears sparks fly from their joined palms. "and, i'd love to join you for a milkshake. chocolate flavored, please."

that catches cody off guard. "chocolate? i would've figured you'd be more of a vanilla type of guy."

obi-wan releases his hand but holds onto cody's fingers, letting them hook over each other in the shared space between them. "you have a lot to learn, my dear. i have many secrets that people don't know about me."

cody sucks in an optimistic breath, eager to learn every single one.

[ashintheairlikesnow]

How's Oskar doing? He was always such a sweetie 😔❤️ still playing Xbox I hope

"Come on." Oskar looks over his shoulder, to where Arvid stands shaded by the porch, squinting daggers in his direction. "Come on, Arvid, please."

"No." Arvid's arms are crossed, almost hugging himself, as he glares balefully at the sun-dappled front lawn of the perfectly nondescript house he lives - and works - in the basement of. "I hate outdoors. You know that."

"But it's not so bad." Oskar sighs, turning to raise his chin to enjoy the breeze that sets wind chimes tinkling at the neighbor's house. It ruffles his hair and Arvid, reluctantly, acknowledges to himself that the pet looks kind of cute that way. "You'll like it."

"I can assure you I fucking won't." Still, Arvid takes one step and then another. Oskar's expression lights up when he notices. "Why can't we just drive?"

"Because it's only a two mile walk to the game store, I googled it. And I want to see the trees. And grass. And flowers and-"

"Okay, okay. Shut up." There's no sting in Arvid's voice and he steps gingerly onto the sidewalk. The sun bakes his Tshirt against his back, and his pale skin seems paperwhite. Oskar, by contrast, looks like someone who probably tans easily, or he did before. "Don't think this means I'll get you your boba if you make me walk like this."

Oskar stops before they even get more than two blocks away from the house to inspect bark in a tree, running his fingers over it, rubbing a thumb. His eyes are wide and fascinated. "Arvid, look."

"What? It's a tree. What the fuck is so special about a tree?"

Still, he stands next to Oskar and looks.

It's... just a goddamn tree. Oak, or something. Standard stereotype tree doing nothing for anyone.

"Bark feels so weird," Oskar murmurs. "Not like I thought it would. I thought it would be softer. But it's so rough."

"What do you mean? You've never been right next to a tree?"

Oskar hesitates, then shrugs, looking down with a shamefaced smile, nudging at a root pushing up pavement with the toe of his shoe. "... Well... Not real ones."

Arvid blinks. "What?"

"Well. I've only been outside in your yard and there aren't any trees in your yard."

"... Yeah, but. You've definitely gone outside other places."

Oskar looks over at him. "No."

"No?"

"We aren't allowed outside in training. I don't remember anything before that. I was in the Facility, and in a box, and then in your house. There aren't any trees in the stores we go to. I've never been outside before you. I haven't ever touched a tree before today. Or anything nature-y out here."

Arvid inhales, looking up at the canopy of trees, trimmed back unnaturally in one spot to free space for power lines. He has so much work to do.

Then he looks back at Oskar's gentle smile.

"Ugh... Fine. Fuck it. Come on." Arvid turns and walks a different way, heading down the sidewalk fast enough that Oskar has to half-jog to keep up with him.

"Wh-where are we going?" Oskar huffs. "The game store is the other way!"

"There's a stupid plant store down the road here, and they have a farm stand. You can go pet the pretty flowers or something. For a minute. Pick a couple out and I'll buy them. After that we'll go pick up the game."

"Really?" Oskar settles back into a regular rhythm beside him. "Arvid-... And we can get boba after? And Takis at the gas station?"

"Sure, yeah, whatever you want. It's your first day outside, or whatever, so you might as well enjoy it. Don't thank me."

Arvid keeps his scowl on, but when Oskar's hand brushes his he allows himself to grasp the pet's warm fingers with his own.

"Thanks," Oskar says, in a whisper.

"Fuck off," Arvid snaps in return. "I said don't thank me."

But Oskar just keeps smiling.

Takis do sound pretty good, anyway.

[slamminslamminmcgill]

Do you think you’d be interested in doing a nsfw A-Z for BCS characters but mainly Jimmy😳🥴

ive had this in my drafts for the longest time but this was such a good idea!!! i rly wanna do more prompt type things so i may try to find some more :3

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

jimmy is the sweetest most cuddly loveydovey man you'd ever have the pleasure of banging 🥺🥺🥺 lots of hugs and kisses and telling you what a great job you did and oh my god you're so gorgeous he could do this every night

saul is not as affectionate but he'll give you some praise. maybe a high five and a "woo! nice job, kid!" if he's feeling silly. unless it's during business hours. then it's "get back to work, mr. squidward."

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

partner - chest. man is a boob fiend. partly why trans men are a guilty pleasure for him bc whether they've had top surgery or not he's fixated on their chests

himself - i actually don't know? maybe his hair. he seems to put a lot of effort into it (even when he starts going better call bald 😔) so i think maybe that. also he loves having it tugged on bc he's a slut

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

facials. dirty boy loves making a mess of you >:3

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

i expanded on this here but basically he's repressing his bisexuality. he would like to have sex with men more often but he can't bring himself to go out and get some dick. again, trans men are a guilty pleasure bc to him they're a compromise. he rationalizes that it's not really gay if he has a pussy (let him have this he's trying)

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

he is VERY sexually experienced with cis women. not at all with anyone else. but he's a quick learner. regardless of what setup anyone has, he'll figure out what makes them tick

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

cowgirl!! ride this baby boy he loves it. he likes it bc he loves having someone push him down and take what they want from him (and also he doesn't have to do as much work which is great for his old man joints 😌)

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

he'll be silly goofy in foreplay, but he gets more serious as things heat up

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

fuzzy wuzzy baby boy 🤗🤗 he may trim a LITTLE if it's getting too wild but never totally shave

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

depends! not at all during his saul era. as jimmy he's more likely to be sweet with you in that way

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

the first time he touched his prostate he screamed and came harder than he ever had before and he's scared to do it again

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

dirty talk!!! he's got a lot to say. he just loves seeing the effect his words have on you and how they can really make the difference between good sex and mindblowing sex

also when he's having sex with other men chances are he's topping, so if they're okay with it he'd be into calling them slurs bc it makes him feel powerful

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

car sex! getting ridden in the driver's seat, his body pressed on top of yours as he fucks you in the backseat, bending you over the hood, he loves it all

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

he's a shameless flirt. he'll go in with STRATEGIC rizz to try to get someone in bed with him, but he CANNOT deal with reciprocation. the second someone shows a crumb of interest in him he fumbles. and if you fire back with sass he'll basically beg you to take him right then and there

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

he cannot take extreme pain. he's curious about masochism and likes getting slapped/spanked and having his hair pulled but he's not into anything that would bruise. he's sensitive :( also he likes choking his partner but he doesn't like getting choked himself

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

absolutely loves receiving it!! he loves having his balls licked ehehe they're sensitive

loves giving it too BUT if it's not a cis woman's pussy he's in the trenches. the first time he saw a t-dick he was stunned. but, being the man of reason that he is, he figured "well! that looks like a little dick. can i suck it?" and immediately tested his theory and fell in love with t-dicks

when it comes to amab dicks? he's trash. he cannot suck dick to save his life. no lips and too bad of a gag reflex ☹️

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

tends to be on the faster/rougher side. slow and sensual is only if he's in a long term relationship with someone (or if he's subbing and needs his partner to be gentle)

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

man CANONICALLY gets blown in his office during the work day. he loves em

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

see above.

also! generally yeah. i think he's in the camp of "don't knock it til you try it" so he'd be down to try almost anything once

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

old man. he can maybe nut once or twice before he taps out. but he'll always make sure his partner's taken care of

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

YES i think he'd have a pretty decent arsenal. he's got a couple vibrators for partners and some cock rings/sleeves for himself. for either he's probably got a ballgag and a blindfold and he's definitely the type to own a pair of those cheap fuzzy handcuffs.

also i can't get this idea out of my head of him trying to talk himself out of it but finally cracking, buying a buttplug, and then never trying it out because he's scared 😭

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

if i have to answer this question im logging off y'allready KNOW

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

jimmy's a whiny bitch and he's LOUD!!!!! saul does a better job of keeping it down (he actually tries to stifle himself a bit bc he doesn't wanna show feelings teehee send this man to therapy)

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

he has a piss kink. cope.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

abt 5.5 inches, fat, uncut, big juicy buals

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

i think pretty high! mentally he's always down but he got old man dick (canonically takes viagra 💀) so he can't go as much as he'd like

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

after a particularly intense round he'll conk out almost instantly. but most of the time he's down for cuddling and pillow talk

[mettatons-fat-doughy-asscheeks]

📖 Mettaton, but he's in a world of all kinds of infinitely regenerating candy.

*It was a very alien kind of feeling. Most people haven't walked on roads made of taffy or across a field of those sour ropes that took the place of grass. A surreal constructed world with houses, nature, and even lakes of soda. Simply without another sign of life who was using it or who could possibly built it all.

*One bite can't hurt...

*Time began to fly by after that first bite, time and more and more candy that is. A nibble here, a few clumps from the ground there. He started trying anything that looked new that he came across. Despite all the time passed it was only when drops of frosting from a massive cupcake car smeared against his chest that he'd noticed it was bare, that this entire time he'd been dressed in nothing but a tight pair of pink shorts. It only added to that dream like quality.

*Well there aren't any consequences in a dream are there?

*It was a fair way to think about it. Nothing like this could be real. All those flavors were just his processors firing off in his sleep mode providing artifical sensations. So why not experience more of them? Start eating entire chocolate branches off those trees and picking the green apple leaves right off and munch on them after. Stuff his face with handfuls of spongecake walls insulated with buttercream.

*I can't help myself here

*His inhibitions slipped more and more with every treat he partook in, and no matter how much destruction followed in his wake he could always come back for more it seemed. Gingerbread neighborhoods, caramel apple orchards, gummy museums? He barely took in the scenery it was all just more treats for him. Treats that never filled him up, instead settling heavily in his middle for moments before melting away his muscle mass into pure blubber. Pecs softened into plump and perky tits that formed rolls beneath his softening arms, melding into the burgeoning layer of backfat he was acquiring. His abs were a thing of the past, replaced by a gut that started round and taught but glurped and slorshed outwards with flab that rolled at his navel forming a two layer cake of lard. His toned thighs joined in with his perky butt in deciding to go soft and flabby, cellulite forming on them both as those cheeks widened into a doorway filling wideload.

*Moooore... Candy.... More.... Sugar

*His thoughts slowed like molasses, devolving into a single minded desire to eat more of the sugary world around him. The damage it did to his figure or the way it made him sluggish and encumbered wasn't even a consideration. Not when he could shovel armfuls of donut innertubes at the citrus soda beach. His perception of time may have been shot before but it was non existent now. He could have been wandering this place for years at this point, sporting a body that would make sense for an all candy diet taken on that long.

*Muh OUUUUUAAAARP gut want wheeeeeeeze more canduh mnfff

*The formerly fit and trim robot had become an unrecognizable behemoth of pure undulating blubber. At 6'6.6" in height it was a real testament to his uncomprising gluttony that he'd managed to make himself wider than he was tall. His bloated lard sack of a gut jutted in front of him, dragging along the ground and leaving a trail of slimy sickly sweet smelling sweat behind as if he were a slug. Flopped atop that double rolled monster were two tits enormous enough to make any woman jealous, engorged nipples pierced by thick candy cane barbells that sank slightly into those puffy areola. Those massive udders were slathered with the colorful remnants of his past conquests, the trail leading upwards to a pancake stack of tirelike chins that head head sank ever so slightly into. His face was truly a testament to just how much of a fucking whale he'd turned himself into. His cheeks spread out over his chins, which themselves pooled onto his shoulders and the mountainous backfat behind him, and even began to slightly encroach into the lower peripheral of his vision. His lips weren't spared either, the usually black pair were slathered in sweet and pillowy like his moobs had been when he'd taken his first bites. Thickened drool flowed from them, sparkling with a mysterious carbonation. His hair was messy, though sill parted neatly, and seemed to have grown a small bit. It didn't manage to hide one of the strangest features on that plump head of his, the fact that even his forehead had begun to take on a small amount of pudge, letting itself he seen slightly from within his vision much like his cheeks. Around his sides his pathetic and nearly useless arms sat comfortably atop an avalanche of lovehandles capped off by a peak of fat sideboob. Following that avalanche down lead to a massive shelf of ass that took up nearly enough of his backside to begin to sag to the ground a lot like his greedy gut had. It of course help up a very impressive cliff of blubbery backfat, enough of it to fondle like it was the front of an avarage fatty.

*Whuh.... That?

*Oh? That unusual. There looks like a person in the distance. Hope they don't get starstruck seeing a famous celebrity in the place like this. If they can recognize him still that is.

EXTREME SLOB CONTENT UNDER THE CUT

*Seeing something new? That called for an investigation. Time for a first step towards it.

*Hnnnngh mnfff FRRRPPPPPPPPTTT

*Of course it's not easy moving a ham planet like him. It requires serious serious effort. And effort with a destroyed digestive system like his meant totally voiding his bowels. Visible smoggy purple farts vented from his bloated slimy donut-like asshole, a signal of things to come. It didn't take long for it to be followed by a torrent of thick rainbow syrup squirting out at amazing force, piling up behind him as he glacially waddled forwards towards the distant unfamiliar thing. That purple pollutant obviously smelled sweet, like fermenting a patisserie. His technicolor waste on the other hand was distinctly more fruity, a Fanta syrup medley. He was like a bloated portable corn syrup factory. And he was in total bliss.

[saltygilmores]

THOUGHTS WHILE WATCHING GILMORE GIRLS: S3/EP6: AKA LORELAI GILMORE HAS FINALLY LOST HER FEW REMAINING MARBLES (PART 5)

This is going to be a short one because I need as much room as possible for the next scene (if you don't know what it is, you'll know soon) so let's get this out of the way. Lorelai begins to stew in a jealous rage over Sherry and Crusty's Relation-Shit. . So she escapes to the bathroom, where she opens Sherry's medicine cabinet, tilts her picture frames and yanks some towels off the wall.

Okay Lorelai but that was the only thing Sherry got right about the little scheme she hatched to kidnap Rory (again).

A custody battle has broken out out between Sherry and Lorelai as they fight over who gets custody of Rory on weekends, like she's 4 years old or the class hamster. ( as if Rory isn't 18 years old and as if this Creepy Sherry person has any say in absolutely anything ever on Earth). Mini Lorelai Jr. here is a pathological people pleaser and it's pretty much 95% Lorelai Senior's fault she ended up this way, that's why she agrees to everything. Wait, why is Lorelai suddenly taking her anger out on Rory? What is happening? But on the other hand, please, Rory... GROW A SPINE. I'm begging you.

Okay, NOW what crazy nonsense baloney are you on about, woman? Please. Enlighten us on why you wished this unborn child who is not biologically related to you in any way and holds aboslutely no fucking signifiance in your life should have been a boy.

Jesus Christ, Lor. Rory: She couldn't choose the sex of her baby. Lorelai: Well if Ms Mani Pedi can schedule her birth then she could do that! In 2002 the year of our Lord Lorelai has never heard of scheduled c-sections. But "I have to do GiGi at 5" is still one of the great unexpected one liners of this season that got a genuine laugh out of me, figures it would have to come from someone so unimportant as Creepy Sherry. I'm just going to quickly summarize Lorelai's break from reality (which she only had an extremely tenuous grasp on to begin with before this point) and why she's mad at Sherry: -Sherry's baby is a girl -Sherry's baby is a scheduled c-section -Sherry enjoys manicures and pedicures (something that is hardly out of reach for middle class peasants like Lorelai, you can even get a manicure at Walmart for Pete’s sake) -Rory and GiGi sound "identical" (Ror-Ee/ Gee-Gee) so Sherry is stealing her baby’s name from 18 years ago -Sherry referred to Gigi as a "ballerina" -Sherry has a personal preference for the color green instead of pink for her infant girl --Lorelai hates the jazz music being played at the baby shower; she's also upset imainging that Sherry is forcing her poor Crusty to listen to boring jazz against his will, tainting his apparently perfect taste in CrustyMusic (and I wish Sherry would force Crusty listen to so much boring jazz that he falls asleep and starts sleepwalking and walks through a plate glass window, but we can't always get what we want can we Lorelai) -Sherry had the unmitigated gall to pick up Crusty's cd collection from piles on the floor and organize the cds neatly onto a shelf (this one really upset her) -Lorelai is laboring under not one but two simulatenous insane delusions, one being that Sherry is desperate to copy her right down to her (ADULT) child's (not choose-able) sex and name, but at the same time Sherry is also sticking her nose up at Lorelai’s unremarkable middle class-ish motherhood with her trim pregnancy figure, fancy scheduled birth, organized home, sophisticated taste in music and pedicures -Lorelai wants to "mess up her bed" and "rearrange her whole house" and "un color coordinate her sheets" as if poor Sherry's bed hasn't already been tainted by having sex with Crusty on those sheets -Lorelai wasted her day because she could have been out shoe shopping instead of attending this baby shower (who's fault is this? I thought Rory had a driver's license? What ever happened to that? Why couldn't Rory drive up to Boston alone? You offered to take her). -Lorelai asks Rory if she could set Sherry's house on fire.

[monty-glasses-roxy]

Roxy reacting to her nails getting clipped :(

Whining. She's whining so much. You think she's gonna sit still while people touch her paws and claws? No! Absolutely not! She can't even sit still long enough for someone else to do her hair or makeup most of the time and she LOVES having her hair and fur brushed! She does NOT like her paws being touched!

Well she doesn't care any other time. She's had her paw beans poked by Cassie and Chica a good few times and never bat an eye. As soon as someone is holding clippers though? No touch. Go away. No one can touch her paws ever. No one has ever succeeded in one piece. Not even Cassie! (Lies) No one can touch them ever!

She wriggles around if someone else is holding her and kicks and fusses so fucking much. She will maybe sit still if there are lots of treatos for her, but otherwise it's not happening. She HATES her claws being cut more than her claws being too long. So she says, until her claws are too long again...

With her hand paws, it's generally expected to go much easier than her feet paws and uh... Yeah no that's completely wrong. Roxy is all sad whining, pulling her paws away every two seconds and unlike a regular dog, she has the ability to grab whoever's doing this and forcibly stop them. It often doesn't, so when she gets too agitated and has had enough, she just chomps their arm instead. It always looks really aggressive, but there's no power in the bite. Worst case scenario is it'll feel like she's pinched them or there'll be a little superficial scratch that'll heal in a few days or something. The aggressive show is just to make sure they fucking stop.

Why is she so bad? Well for her hand paws, she loves her claws being long and sharp. Who doesn't want longer, sharper claws? Roxy just wants to be able to cut through metal like butter is that so much to ask?! Her paw pads and claws are also pretty sensitive so it doesn't feel great in terms of sensory stuff either. For her foot paws? They're just more sensitive and after the chew on with her hand paws, she was immediately held down for that and the whole thing just makes her feel super vulnerable. But she can get past all that!

It just also fucking sucks and she hates it! And her paws always feel so weird afterwards and her claws can't cut through ANYTHING right afterwards and she doesn't like it! So don't you dare try and cut her claws! Even if she asked for help with it! Do not! Lmao she's like the "no take. Only throw." meme with her claws sometimes

But also there's another element here. Since this is all presuming she's biological like in Meteors or any other AU like that, there's also the problem of the quick. It's a small blood vessel in the claws of the dog that you have to be very careful about not accidentally cutting when you trim their nails. They bleed a lot when cut, and it probably hurts like a bitch so it's obviously not great to cut those at all.

If anyone cuts the quick on Roxy cause she wouldn't sit still she will never forget it. All the sad and pathetic dog whining is gone now. It's all growls and violence. A yelp is your only warning before she's biting you and means it this time. This is when the light scratches I mentioned start happening, she still doesn't do any real physical damage, but she's giving them the cold shoulder for like a week. Does it hurt a lot? No not really. Feels like she stepped on a Lego or something, she's fine. Just stings a little bit when she walks on it for a few days which sucks and she's gonna let the whole world know about it just you wait lmao it's her new excuse for not doing things and no one's gonna hear the end of it for a few weeks now you mark her words

"But why can't she just do it herself?" Here's the thing. She will never do it herself. Ever. She won't even file the claws down cause that feeling goes straight through her bones. She will put it off forever and ever until the hand is forced, she will NOT do it herself. So they normally get really bad before someone else does it as a last resort.

Thankfully, she doesn't need her claws cutting very often. They wear down on their own with all her running around and clawing at things so it's only if she's been particularly unenergetic that this becomes a problem. Which doesn't really help her get used to it so that's not helping, but hey! She doesn't have to deal with it that often! That's a win, right?

But yeah, trimming Roxy's claws is an exercise in patience, and a test of how many treatos does it take to convince her this is worth it. There's not a snowballs chance in hell they're all getting done at the same time unless she's sick or something and can't fight back very well. She does tell people to stop when she's had enough btw, she just finds she's not listened to unless she non-verbally threatens to snap someone's arm like a twig between her teeth. Works like a charm!