#why can’t i just be a normal productive person

[yourheartinyourmouth]

if anyone needs me i’ll be crying under the bed forever.

[thatone-highlighter]

I just got through the Earthlings arc during my SU rewatch and im absolutely facinated by Jaspers character

She’s such an effective antagonist for so long because she clashes with every other character so fundamentally. She’s got this completely foreign to the show worldview that is shown to be contrary to what the rest of the show is trying to say but she still feels like a real person and when you think about her she’s just as much a product of her circumstances as anyone else. She doesn’t want to talk it out with Steven because why would she? She was literally born to fight as has been doing so since the second she was born, it’s all she’s ever known and has been drilled into her head that that’s what’s expected of her, she’s rewarded for fighting well and watches as others are punished for doing badly, either by losing or by facing consequences for failing.

And then there’s the whole “perfect solider” part of her character. She was literally born more capable and with a higher status than everyone else. But because of the way home world is structured to reward her and punish people like the off-colours, she’s been indoctrinated into thinking that the reason she came out on top had nothing to do with how she was made and everything to do with her behaviour and attitude. Peak “pull yourself up by your bootstraps” type person but because it’s a fictional story you can see what happened to make her this way. Her and amethyst are fundamentally different, they’re different quartzes, they were born in different places, they were just created differently, from the start jasper was always going to be better at some things than amethyst and amethyst would be better at others than jasper. But because of the way jasper has been “raised” for lack of a better word she doesn’t see that, she doesn’t understand that her and amethyst are simply different gems who were made different, she’s better at fighting and is picture image of what a quartz “should” be so that means it’s possible and anyone who can’t live up to that standard simply isn’t trying hard enough. And she even manages to get that into amethysts head, if jasper is capable of this then that means that amethyst must be too, even tho that’s simply not true. Through no fault of her own amethyst would have to try infinitely harder to achieve even close to where jasper is, jasper started out with a huge head start and trying to play catch up does nothing but hurt amethyst. It’s such a good analogy for so many things I think

Her main role in the story is serving as a character who simply refuses to talk it out with Steven, but again, why would she? From her perspective the entire reason her life is like this, she reason shes spent her life fighting endlessly, all the suffering shes lives through, its his fault. Rose Quartz started the war she was quite literally born to fight in. Rose Quartz also ended that same war by killing the only person jasper ever had to look up to, forced her out of the only reason she had for existing (both as in to fight the war and to serve Pink Diamond). And then heres Rose Quartz once again, saying she wants to help her? Where was she offering help when jasper when she was living to fight as much as she was fighting to live? Where was this „help“ when she shattered Pink Diamond and Jaspers entire world with her? „Help“? Help my ass shes the reason everything thats gone wrong in jaspers life went wrong in the first place

And then she gets poofed at her lowest point, gets removed from the story entirely until Future, and Future does nothing to make anything better for her! Last jasper knew the person shes been seeking revenge on her entire existence cant even be bothered to remember what she did, and then she loses herself to the Earth and corruption, the very things she prided herself on being better than.

And then suddenly shes brought back and „hey guess what! That war we created you to fight in? The one you created your entire person around? The one you lost Everything in? Yeah so it was pointless. Actually the person you idolised for the past 6000 years is the same person who you thought killed her and have been seeking vengeance on for the same amount of time. Crazy how that happens. Anyways so do you wanna come hang out with us now that we sorted that out and were chill about it?“

Can you even IMAGINE what that feels like? No wonder she runs off into the woods and becomes a hermit what else is she supposed to do! Shes got nowhere to go! Her entire life has been turned on its head and she’s expected to just move on! That’s ridiculous!

And thats just the backdrop for her appearance in Future. When she finally does appear they kill her and thats the first and only time we ever see her happy. Someone Finally speaks to her in a way she can understand and she actually dies, and uses that to find herself a purpose. If steven is powerful enough to shatter her, a feat never before seen by a gem, then sure she can serve him, anything to give her life purpose again. and then they just forget about her! Steven literally ditched her in his house! They pull the rug out from under her Once Again. but now she can be „normal“ now she can do what other people want her to do so they all assume shes „better“ now.

I think future did her so dirty the original show handles her character So Well and im not really sure how else they could have gone further with her character because people like Jasper in real life dont really change. And if she were to change and agree with steven it would feel like the show saying steven was right and jasper was wrong and she should have listened to him from the start. Shes such an interesting character to delve into because shes the antagonist yes but shes a very specific type or antagonist that doesnt appear very often and when it does its not with as much backstory, even if just implied, or delving into the thoughts behind the actions. Its so interesting to me

[placeinthisworld]

.

[cloudcountry]

since you guys liked my idea so much here it is: WAYS THE NRC BOYS WOULD MAKE YOU WORSE

reader's personality is based more off of in-game yuu than anything? this set of hcs is a bunch of hypotheticals basically. this can be read as platonic or romantic idk each guy is written as if they are the closest person to you, friends or otherwise.

IF YOU SEE A TYPO NO YOU DONT

mentally preparing myself for the "i wouldnt do that!!!!!" comments...and post.

Riddle increases your attentiveness to the rules tenfold. No matter how meek you are, he makes your voice strong—and oh boy does it carry. You’re yelling at people for running in the halls, chastising them for not doing their homework, and opening your mouth wider when you speak. For a school full of troublemakers like Night Raven, the entire student body is so disappointed there’s another Riddle.

Trey makes you more passive, less likely to speak up when you see something. He’s always stood back in the shadows, watching over everything without saying a word, and it’s seeped into your personality, too. You’re spineless now. This world is unfamiliar, why should you try to do anything? You’d only stand out. You don’t want to be outstanding. You want to be as normal as possible. So you stand back.

Cater gets you wrapped up in the hype of social media. It started out as a way to indulge his interests but now you’re on Magicam all day, scrolling and scrolling and scrolling. You send things to your friends and say “hey, we should do this” but never make any actual effort to connect with them outside of that. You fall easier into jealousy because you’re surrounded by glamor.

Deuce makes you reckless. He’s so willing to throw himself into things and it spurs you to do the same, no matter how many times your teachers or potential upperclassmen tell you not to. You can’t hear anything but Deuce and his yelling, his enthusiasm and terror for whichever situation you two find yourselves in, knowing that you’d follow him anywhere.

Ace makes you all the more prickly, your sharp jabs and irritating smugness a product of spending too much time with him. You two are two peas in a pod, but to an outsider you two just seem...irritating. You have a talent for getting under people’s skin and have definitely gotten better at lying.

Leona thinks its so cute how you try to defend him at every twist and turn. Like no, he is as dastardly as everyone is saying. Why are you trying to deny it? You’re suddenly seeing reason in the most massive ego-ed people this side of Sage Island and Leona honestly doesn’t know if he should be concerned for you or be amused because of you. (This one in particular was inspired by @loser-jpg LMAO)

Ruggie could have made you prioritize yourself more, but you think he took it a bit too far. See, now you’re snatching cafeteria items and worksheets right under people’s noses, giggling as they demand you give it back. Sometimes they don’t even notice you, but even if they did you’ve learned how to be lighter on your feet.

Jack and you are incredibly uncooperative people (unless you owe someone, of course.) He’s guided you away from asking for help, insisting that the people here will take advantage of you then turning around to say that he doesn’t care, he just doesn't want to get wrapped up in your mess. It’s like you can’t trust anyone but him and your Heartslabyul friends anymore.

Azul has given you one nasty sense of perception, allowing you to key into every little detail and find loopholes in the things people say in a second. He’s turned you into a deadly asset, one he treasures just as much as the student body fears. You read over his contracts and point out what you would do to get out of them, and he adjusts accordingly. What a fine team you two make!

Jade makes it clear that his morals are less than savory, and will often encourage you to partake in things you really shouldn't. You rationalize it as Jade helping you go after the things you want, to finally take and take and take from people when you’ve been so selfless all your life, because it's what you deserve isn’t it?

Floyd will often rope you into his schemes, and it's not wrong before you start doing the same. Once a model student, attending every class, you now skip class and watch with amusement as Floyd threatens another student, hiding your smile behind your hand. They may plead for your assistance, but who are you to stop Floyd? This poor soul clearly owed something.

Kalim instills you with a sense of jealousy and helplessness. He has money to solve all of his problems, his life must be so easy. You’ve lived through so many overblots and received no help from anyone, but Kalim has always been so kind and generous to you. It makes you resent him a little, and anyone else who tries to help, because they all have things that you don’t and that's just not fair.

Jamil twists and bends your mind so much that you can do the very same thing to others. You’ve caught onto his little game and he knows it, eyeing you with anticipation whenever you speak in the same honeyed tone he uses when he wants something. You’ve gotten scarily good at hiding it too, shooting him a smug grin because you know he knows, but nobody else does.

Vil brings out so much confidence in your abilities it’s borderline arrogance. You know you’re capable, so why doesn’t everyone just let you handle this? You can do it, they can’t. So they should just step aside. You’re not doing it to be mean, so why are they getting so annoyed at you? You’re just better.

Rook has some eccentricities, and you’re well aware of them. They put you off at first, but now you’re used to him. It just seems normal now. You’re not sure why everyone makes such a big deal out of his tendencies, that’s just how he is. He’ll stalk you, hunt you down, but he’s having fun! Don’t spoil it for him!

Epel is actually the perfect fit for NRC, you think. He’s a troublemaker, he’s stubborn, and he’s so, so angry. But he’s right! Why should you respect people who claim to be above you? It’s so irritating that they walk around with those annoying smirks on their faces. You two should do something about that, don’t you think?

Idia has a very specific way of talking that can not only be confusing, but can also irritate the hell out of people. Of all things you could pick up from him, you picked up his smug jabs and insults, accompanied by a tooth grin and a laugh. It’s unnerving how much he’s rubbed off on you, a true testament to how close you too are much to the chagrin of the rest of NRC.

Malleus finds so much delight in being your bodyguard, your most trusted companion, that he doesn’t even bat an eye when you use his magic for your own gain. You’ve gotten soft, molding to whatever shape Malleus wants you to be just so he won’t leave. You’re helpless without him, only he has the will and the magic to protect you. So won’t he please stay?

Lilia has a way of dodging the truth, putting a smile on his face even when he’s hurting. It makes you think that, if he can do that, why can’t you? Lilia is smart, he knows how to go about life, so you should follow his lead and bury your problems until they’ll never see the light again.

Sebek has done nothing but berate you for being human since you met him, and even if you’ve gotten closer to him over the course of your stay in Twisted Wonderland, you’re starting to think he’s right. If you had magic, if you weren’t human, you’d be more powerful. It’s a fact. You could do so much more if you weren’t so weak.

Silver has made you complacent. He takes each step carefully, protecting both you and Malleus, so why would you need to protect yourself in any capacity? It’s so nice, having this safety net. If you could, you'd rely on Silver forever, never facing the cruel realities of the world that are blocked by his strong arms.

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

so… how does autism even happen? they say “there’s only in increase in numbers because they have better ways to diagnose” but I’ve seen two, normal and brain healthy adults have severely autistic kids. not to be “that person” but I genuinely believe it could be due to over vaccinating or all the chemicals we consume in food and products on a daily basis.

so are they just using the better ways of diagnosing as an excuse to why autism is increasing so they don’t have to admit they’re poisoning us? is it really a true statement that the amount of people born with autism has stayed the same and it is just because of better diagnostics?

I just can’t comprehend how two healthy adults, with no familial history of autism or anything like it, is at all possible. it must be what we consume, because the amount of chemicals and bioengineered products we consume daily now is absolutely mind blowing. I could totally see how a mother consuming these things whilst pregnant, and before, could lead to her birthing a child with brain issues.

i’m not trying to be ignorant - I just think autism (severe case - can’t be touched, can’t speak, can’t regulate emotions..) is really really really hard to deal with, for the individual yes but also for the parents. I couldn’t imagine not being able to touch or talk to my child, and I would feel absolutely awful if I caused that by what I consumed.

id like to be a mother someday, I have no family history of autism, nor does my partner. but… I know my limits, and having an autistic child would be quite the battle for me. even though mine and my partners bloodline is clean, is it still a likely risk?

Before getting started: I am NOT going over something like this again, so please do NOT send questions like this.

Question 1:

so... how does autism even happen? they say "there's only in increase in numbers because they have better ways to diagnose" but l've seen two, normal and brain healthy adults have severely autistic kids. not to be "that person" but l genuinely believe it could be due to over vaccinating or all the chemicals we consume in food and products on a daily basis.

Answer: two healthy people can have an autistic child. The same way two healthy people can have Down syndrome. Autism itself is a neurodevelopment disorder that affects how we learn and communicate. These disorders affect both the brain and spinal cord. If you do some actual research, the autistic brain is actually a bit larger than a neurotypical one. We have a smaller amygdala however, which helps regulate emotions. That could explain the emotional dysregulation. This disorder literally affects how the brain works. It’s not the same as a neurotypical one. We’re called neurodivergent for a reason.

Question 2:

so are they just using the better ways of diagnosing as an excuse to why autism is increasing so they don't have to admit they're poisoning us? is it really a true statement that the amount of people born with autism has stayed the same and it is just because of better diagnostics?

Answer: Autism itself is a complex disorder and was barely understood years ago. There’s no sign that vaccines are raising. If it were, then mostly everybody would be autistic. But this is not this case.

Here’s an article about the “autism epidemic” as people like the call it:

Question 3:

I’m not going into this part, because this is where you start to get delusional. Like I said before, it’s a developmenttal disorder that ANYONE can have regardless of family history. Yes, Autism tends to run in families, but there can be some where autism doesn’t run in families. Anyone can have autism. It doesn’t matter if it runs in families or not.

We have gotten better with diagnostics because of our more advanced technology. Autism isn’t rising. We’re just getting better at diagnosing and understanding the disorder. It’s still unknown what exactly causes it or how it happens. Some say it’s environmental, others say it could be genetics.

Yes, autism can be hard and difficult to live with. And the fact that you are insinuating that you wouldn’t or like to have neurodivergent child, then you probably shouldn’t be a mother. I would love my child and take care of them, no matter the circumstances. Even if they couldn’t talk, that wouldn’t make me love them less.

Do some research, spend some time talking to autistic people and parents to see their experiences and thoughts. We’re human beings, just like you.

[wakeup01]

Slip ‘n Slide

(2,000 follower special)

On the floor. Now! Put your face where it feels like it should belong bitch! Fuck, you can’t help doing what you’re told, can you? Good. I could tell by the first message you sent me, you were a needy slut. Message after message, needing validation, my attention. My time. But my time comes with a cost. Now it’s time to pay. Let’s get this done while your mind is horny and numb. Feel your body start to become more pliable. Compressing down, reshaping. Let it wrap around my smelly foot. Don’t resist, just let it happen. Let yourself become what you were destined to be. You don’t need arms, don’t need legs. All you need is an opening for my feet to rest; so open wide and let my foot stretch you out. You don’t need to move, to speak. You just need to exist, to be present. To complete the pair. To sniff and suck for eternity. A simple rubbery form designed to cushion my steps. Covered in a bunch of branding to signify your role as a product, uniform and non-unique. Disposable. A slide.

Size 11. That’s what you are. A size 11, Adidas slide. It’s what your label says. That’s how I’ll refer to you. ‘My size 11 adidas slide.’ What I’ll tell people when they notice you. ‘Yeah they’re new, look well sick, don’t they?’ And no one will question otherwise. No one will ever wonder why you smell of feet, why you don’t move or talk, or why you’re left lying on the ground - it’s just normal. You’re a literal footnote, barely worthy of remark.

No, you don’t belong to me, you belong to my chavvy feet. My toes, my arch, my sole. They own you. And my feet are gonna make sure you know that all too well. Your job is to protect them after all. That’s really the only use a filthy slide like you has. And I wear my slides without socks. How else am I going to make sure you smell like my sweaty feet? My juicy toes pushing into you day after day. Listening as the world goes by without your presence as if nothing had happened. Smelling my intoxicating scent as I hang out. Watching as the floor flies by underneath you while you worship my sole.

You WERE a person - had a name, a personality, and now you’re a fashion item for me to show off. Hate it all you want right now, but it won’t take long until you regard yourself as such too. Your mind irreparably warped by my constant heavy impression. By the bitter, salty musk clinging to your entire length. Soon enough, you’ll be happy to do your job. Feeling privileged for my kindness. Proud of that label sewn into you. That barcode number. Smelling my cheesy boy feet was something I chose for you. It must mean you did something right, right?

And you did. You whiffed my feet and gave up your body for something better. Something smellier.

An assortment of cheap materials. My slide. My latest fucking conquest. Accept my foul foot as your new god and prepare to fucking worship the sweat dripping from it. You’re finished!

Hahaha. Glad to add you to the collection, loser. Why should I ever have to buy footwear when there’s plenty of pathetic foot suckers just dying to stay at my feet. Permanently. You loved sliding into my dm’s unannounced, and now I’m gonna slide my big pungent foot into you. Enjoy, fuckwit. I know I will.

[anzulvr]

can you do a karma x reader but Korosensei just follows them around or he embarrasses Karma 🎀

Karma x Reader, where Korosensei embarrasses you both. Sorry for late replies as always & THANKS ALOT FOR REQUESTING THIS!! TELL ME IF U SEE TYPOS!!

— Korosensei has a lot of spare time on his hands tentacles. He can complete tasks that would take a regular person hours in a matter of seconds.

Which is why he often shoves his nose in other people’s business. He needs some way to keep himself entertained!

Unfortunately for him no matter how much he tries to set his students up together, none of them seem to make a move on their own accord!

Korosensei is 90% of the reason you and Karma are together.

You were too nervous to be honest about your feelings, confessing was out of the question.

Karma, he considered asking you out a few times but being inexperienced with romance (or any sort of affection ranging from friendships to his family life) , he didn’t know how to go about springing his emotions on you.

He planned it out himself a few times; ‘What am I supposed to do after I confess? High-five? Maybe a hug, nah I’m not a hug person.’

Karmas love language is mentally draining the people he likes, which is why he’s not the type to prepare huge romantic gestures all on his own.

He prefers pissing you off until you want to punch him. (He thinks it’s funny when you miss.)

Or getting his ears pulled when he’s saying something stupid and you’re trying to shut him up.

Korosensei knows you two won’t get anywhere without a push, he’s very observant with his students, he decided he could give you two the encouragement you needed.

Honestly what better self appointed wing man is there? Korosensei can pretty much make anything happen with his abilities! He does everything behind you and Karmas backs. He gets the students and his colleagues involved at times.

Karasuma has spoken against it, might’ve said something along the lines of “Stop poking your head into your students private lives.” But what would he know? Romance has to be pursued! Everyone knows if you can’t follow your heart Korosensei will follow it for you.

He can make the most random, insignificant moments about you two.

“Korosensei, do you have an eraser you could let me have?”

“Unfortunately I’m all out [Name]. Karma has plenty erasers you should ask him!”

Karma looks confused, his only eraser got stolen by Terasaka around 20 minutes ago when he asked to borrow it and never gave it back.

“I don’t? Terasaka has mine.”

“Nufufufu… check again!”

Within a second after you asked, Korosensei flew around the class and replaced everything in Karmas backpack with erasers.

Karma opens his backpack and erasers are the only thing in his backpack, he chucks a few at his teacher before giving you one.

Korosensei finds a way to preform extravagant romantic gestures on Karmas behalf.

That wouldn’t be so bad if Korosensei wasn’t so extra.

With his powers, he struggles not to get carried away with all the cool stunts he can pull!

Cue to him finding a way to write your names together in the sky (Like a sky writer) WITHOUT the airplane. Because he could probably find a way to do it himself. He’s faster than a plane and has nicer writing anyway.

As a teacher he can’t afford to hire [your Favorite music artist] to serenade you two. (Mostly because he’s horrible at budgeting and partly because Karma steals from him once in a while.) Any normal person would give up and maybe rent a boombox.

Korosensei doesn’t give in that easily, which is why he dressed up as the lead singer.

(imagine like his Karasuma Costume sort of situation) He had the rest of E class involved in the production.

Mimura on air guitar😭.

There’d be food catering and everything. The catering is Isogai who’s perfect for the job as he has experience and Maehara who keeps eating from the plates. (He gets fired and replaced with Meg.)

You and Karma both are pretty used to it at this point so it’s turned into something you poke fun at together. Free food is free food.

The most ironic thing is, Korosensei had nothing to do with the day you both started dating.

It was during the island trip when the guys were talking about the girls they like, when asked Karma said that he’d have to go with Okuda because she’s good at chemistry and she’d be helpful with his pranks.

You overheard as you were walking past the room, it made your heart ache. The following days he’d gotten the impression you were mad at him, but couldn’t figure out what he did to upset you. You distanced yourself out of hurt, feeling like he’d been leading you on this entire time. Eventually he pried it out of you (he’s annoyingly persistent not to mention really good at convincing you to go along with whatever he wants.) In this conversation he admits, he wasn’t being serious with his answer towards the guys, that she makes a good friend but he doesn’t like Okuda in that way. He tells you he can make it up to you if you agree to go out with him. Once you agree he goes in for an high-five like he had planned earlier, but you go in for a hug instead. He reciprocates after the initial surprise wears off. Maybe he is a hug person.

[imyourbratzdoll]

𝒎𝒚 𝒅𝒆𝒎𝒐𝒏𝒔 𝒅𝒂𝒏𝒄𝒆 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒔

part 6 of 🌧️welcome to hell🌧️

summary - demons lingered in the back of your mind, causing you to think you aren't good enough and it doesn't help that steve is ignoring you.

warning - bad thoughts, self-hate, mentions of cheating, angst, barely eating, emotionally drained, feeling like you aren't good enough.

the gif I use isn't mine, headers by me.

part 1 - part 2 - part 3 - part 4 - part 5 - part 7

Warnings and Reminders - Please do not plagiarise, copy, repost/republish, adapt, or translate any of my work on any social media platforms, apps, or third-party sites. The only platforms I post my work on are: Tumblr and Wattpad. I do not own any character of any franchise (Marvel etc.) All my works are fiction and may be dark or triggering content: READ ALL WARNINGS BEFORE PROCEEDING.

What if you and Steve were meant to part ways, only so that you could find each other again. What if you were destined for each other? But instead of being together now, you both needed to grow separately, and soon the two of you would meet again in the coming years when you were both ready.

You didn’t know who you were anymore. You were no longer the person you were before you met Johnny, and you weren’t exactly who you were when you were with him. You felt stuck and horrible. You hadn’t gotten better after the divorce, not even when Steve entered your life. 

Somehow, you lit up his darkness and he silenced your mind. Around him, you felt as though you could finally breathe. But why couldn’t you relax?

Your eyes fluttered open as you woke from your slumber and you just laid there, staring up at the ceiling. It had been a few weeks since you bumped into Steve and you wondered if you had done something wrong.

Steve helped you with your bags, placing them on your kitchen counter before he turned and looked around your place with a smile, his hands stuffed in his jean pockets. “You have a nice place, it suits you.” God, why could you two stare at each other and feel so connected, but then so awkward when trying to find something to talk about. 

“Thank you. You really didn’t have to help me.” You gesture towards the bags before you begin to unpack them, hoping that the cold products haven't warmed too much. 

Steve waves you off. “I didn’t mind. Like I said, I wanted to help.” It felt so natural as he began to unpack the other bag, like this was your routine. The two of you moved so gracefully, like a puzzle piece fitting perfectly into its spot as you moved around the kitchen, putting things away.

Once you finished, your eyes locked onto Steve’s as he leant against the counter. “W–Would you like something to drink? Or eat?” You watched his eyes flicker down to your lips before meeting your eyes again. 

“Water, please.” Did his voice get deeper? You felt like you could drop at any second with how he looked at you. You moved quickly, hands shaking slightly as you filled up a glass before handing it over to him. Steve grabs it gently from you, his fingers brushing against yours and sparks erupt at the touch, causing a soft gasp to escape you. “Thank you.” 

You watched him drink, how could such a normal thing look so hot and sinful when he did it? His eyes never left yours, but yours left his when he moved the glass away from his mouth. You watched his tongue flick out as he collected the water that glistened against his lips. This felt so wrong, but so right at the same time. 

You blink and clear your throat, quickly moving away from him before you do something you may regret. Steve moves over to the sink, washing the glass for you before putting it away. Your mouth hangs open slightly, not even Johnny did that. You would always have to clean up after him. 

Stupid, stupid, stupid. Stop comparing the two! 

But they look so alike… You can’t help but think. It was strange.

You shake your head from your thoughts as Steve touches your shoulder gently. “Are you okay?” 

You hum. “Oh, yeah. Sorry.” You felt like you were suffocating, like this was all a dream. If this was a dream, you didn’t want to wake from it. You let out a shuddering breath as you stare into Steve’s eyes, you could see concern swirling around. “I’m okay. I just got lost in my thoughts.”

Steve nods as if he understands, and the weirdest thing was that every thought seemed to disappear as his hand brushed against your hip. Neither of you could deny the pull, and it scared the hell out of you.

You barely knew Steve, and yet you felt so safe with him. You nearly cried as he pulled away, stepping back, his hand now falling to his side. His phone didn’t go off, but he pulled it out. “I have to go, my friend messaged me.” He gestured to his phone, and you felt your heart sink. Maybe it was inevitable, maybe deep down all men really were the same. Be it in friend, brother, father, or lover form. It was a curse that no woman could seem to break. “It was lovely to see you again, and if you ever need me. I’m right across from you.” He gave a smile so fake that you wanted to believe it to be real. And then he left, leaving you to stand there as your thoughts crashed into you. 

You blink tiredly from the memory. 

Maybe he got scared as well. Maybe he had his own demons, one in the form of an ex. Your chest tightened at the thought of him with someone else, and then you sighed.

He’s not yours, idiot. He never will be, so stop being so pathetic. 

You groan, your thoughts have become meaner lately. You slide out of bed and head over to your closet, scratching your head as you stare at your clothes. Your lip turns as you don’t like anything you see, maybe this would be a good time to have a day to yourself. Well, technically everyday now is to yourself because you left your husband after catching him fucking your best friend.

Your nose scrunches as the image of them fucking pops up into your head. They were your own demons that would possibly forever haunt you. 

You grab some jeans, a plain black shirt and underwear before heading into your bathroom. As you place your things down onto the bathroom counter, your eyes catch your reflection, and it was like death was staring back at you. It seemed the physical toll had slipped from your attention, you had thought you were doing okay aside from the nasty thoughts. Sure, you didn’t eat as often, but it wasn’t because you were starving yourself. You just hadn’t been as hungry, anytime you would go to eat, those two would pop up into your head and your appetite would disappear.

You stripped before slipping under the water. Now you understood why Steve would avoid you like the plague whenever you bumped into him in the hallway. 

You hated this stupid pull that you kept feeling, it was like a constant tugging. It kept trying to pull you in the direction of Steve, like somehow it knew he was close and craved him to be near you. You wished you could grab some scissors and cut the cord that was attaching you to him. Maybe then he could be free of you, free of the burden you seemed to carry. 

You shoved your head underwater, wanting these thoughts to disappear. Maybe taking you along with them. You stand under the shower for a bit longer before slowly getting out and drying yourself off. You don’t dare look in the mirror in fear of what you would see. You hurriedly dress yourself and walk out of the room, grabbing your shoes and bag.

As you exit your apartment, you are met with Steve leaving his. Your eyes widen for a split second before you quickly look down and walk away, not caring that you didn’t lock your door. You didn’t want to burden him with your presence. When you’ve made quite a distance between the two of you, you let out a deep sigh. 

Was this how it was going to be for you? Forever cursed from love and happiness?

You were going to be okay. You had to be.

Steve watched with a saddened look as you walked away. He knew he was being an arse, he didn’t mean to, really. It was just that anytime he was around you, or thinking about you, he would feel this intense feeling wash over him. Steve had felt those feelings the first time he bumped into you and then the second two years later. He was scared, scared that he may end up hurting you. Of course, he didn’t know he was already doing that. 

You walked through the doors of a local second-hand shop, a place you generally enjoyed shopping at. You head straight towards the clothing section, beginning to flick through. 

“Wanda! Did I tell you the news about Steve?” Without meaning to, your ears perk up at the name. You knew it could be a possibility that it was another Steve, but subconsciously you listened in. 

You had heard that voice before, though. You just didn’t know where from…

“No, what about him?” You pick out a few pieces of clothing as you listen in. 

“He finally found someone! He met her once before, but they ran into each other again!” A tug at your heart, even though the person might not be your Steve. “He constantly spoke about her even when he didn’t even know her, now that has doubled. You remember right?” 

The other woman hums. “Oh yeah, isn’t that why everyone teases him?” 

You round the corner, eyes widening a bit when you spot the woman talking. She was the same one from when you had bumped into Steve the first time. Your heart tugs like crazy because you knew this couldn’t be you, they were talking about. Steve had been ignoring you, so why would he talk about you to his friends? 

Natasha looks up as she’s about to reply and you immediately look down, pretending you are looking through the clothes in your arms. You don’t see her nudge the woman next to her, gesturing to you or the fact that they are now approaching until it’s too late.

“Hi. I know you.” You look up surprised. Natasha smiles teasingly. “You’re Steve’s girl!” 

You shake your head, clearing your throat awkwardly. “Uh no… I’m not his girl…” You stumble slightly. “I—I know him! But uh, we aren’t…” You gulp, this was painful.

The women smile. “Okay, you aren’t his girl now. But you will be!” Wanda replied, a giant grin on her face. “Oh, sorry! Hi, I’m Wanda!” 

“Y/n, and I don’t think so. Steve and I aren’t even friends.” You begin to chew on your bottom lip, needing someone to talk to about this, but you didn’t have any friends… You also didn’t know if you could trust having a friend again. You swallow, your throat suddenly feeling dry. 

Natasha’s brows furrow, “Wait, don’t you guys live across from each other?” You nod, “And you don’t talk?” You shake your head.

“Dumbarse” She mutters under her breath, shaking her head. “I’m sorry about Steve. He’s made it sound like you guys were close.” Natasha facepalms. “I am so going to kick his arse when I see him.” 

“You don’t have to, it’s okay.” You try to fake a smile, but it feels like they can see through it. 

Wanda grins. “Why don’t you join us? We can forget about men and just shop!” 

You made it back to your apartment after spending the day with Wanda and Natasha, you hadn’t felt this happy in a while. As you hit the last step, your head lifts and your eyes connect with those beautiful blue ones. You feel your throat dry and your stomach twist. 

“Y/n…” You slowly move forward, berating yourself for allowing your heart to feel something for him. You were already so broken, why did you think anyone could love you. Your gaze flickers to the bouquet of flowers in his hands, noticing how they shake slightly. Maybe he had a date and wasn’t expecting you to show as he was leaving. 

You continue to walk, hoping to slide past him and into the safety of your home. Even though it felt so lonely inside. Steve reaches out, grasping your arm gently, causing you to stop and look at him. Neither of you can ignore the spark that lights from your touch. Unable to ignore the pull anymore, it felt as though time had stilled as you once again locked eyes. 

“I’m sorry… I’ve been an arse.” Steve frowns, all of the negative feelings he’s been feeling have finally come crashing down on him. 

You shake your head, giving another one of your fake smiles. “You don’t have to apologise, Steve. It’s not like we were friends or anything, you don’t need to be nice to me.”

His hold on you tightens slightly, Steve wonders who the hell hurt you to make you think that. He stares deeply into your eyes, hoping that you can see he’s telling the truth. “I do. Because I am sorry. You didn’t deserve me ignoring you, especially if you think it has anything to do with you. I was in the wrong, and I’d like to make it up to you if you allow me.”

Another choice for you to make. One where it could go incredibly well or one you would regret forever. 

You stare at him for a few seconds, trying to find a sliver of a lie. Your gaze moves down, and you look at the flowers. “I got these for you… I didn’t want to apologise empty–handed.” 

And like that, your demons quietened. “I’ve never received flowers before…” His love roared louder than your demons, silencing them. 

You looked back up at him and made your choice. 

The gravitational pull between you had become stronger, finally feeling like it was ready. It seemed the universe and all the galaxies had a talk and said,

“Yeah, It’s time.” 

thank you for reading!

feedback and reblogs are greatly appreciated.

[jiangwanyinscatmom]

Thoughts on “How Jiang Cheng treats Jin Ling is normal because that’s just Chinese parenting”?

I was explaining to someone why I considered the way Jiang Cheng talks to Jin Ling to be abusive, and got hit with that.

I have noticed that parents and guardians in xianxia works sometimes speak quite harshly to their children in punishment scenarios specifically (plus there is frequently corporal punishment involved), but Jiang Cheng’s way of talking to Jin Ling feels like it’s on a whole different level. I can’t think of any time he speaks to Jin Ling like a normal adult.

Am I being gaslit here?

This argument in a gif.

First: There is no excuse to say that corporal punishment is a necessity to use against children and has lasting trauma against those that have had it used on them in the form of consistent psychological maladjustment including depression, unhappiness, anxiety, feelings of hopelessness, use of drugs and alcohol and can alter dopaminergic regions of the brain which hinders long term mental well being and inhibits behavioral responses emotionally and cognitively for themselves and social interactions. Up to some themselves beginning to engage in aggressive and physically abusive behaviors themselves.

Two: Verbal abuse is still... abuse. Some have defined it as the production of psychological and social defects in the growth of a minor as a result of behavior such as loud yelling, coarse and rude attitude, inattention, harsh criticism, and denigration of the child's personality. Other examples include name-calling, ridicule, degradation, destruction of personal belongings, threatening the torture or killing of a pet (and doing as such),excessive or extreme unconstructive criticism, inappropriate or excessive demands, withholding communication, and routine labeling or humiliation. 36.3% of children experience emotional abuse globally.

A consistent usage of this is not something to continue to normalize or excuse in parents, guardians and figures of authority of children. Verbal abuse is also not seen as a pressing issue as it is not physical harm enacted and still considered something that cannot be lawfully punishable despite the widespread statistics of its repercussions on the development of children and their adulthood life interactions.

At any rate, the author of the three novels condemns the abuse of children by several adults that engage in this behavior from Shen Jiu abusing his position of teacher and master over Luo Binghe because of jealousy. To Jiang Cheng and Madam Yu for physically and verbally degrading children they are guardians over and said children participating in dangerous antics to be praised for their skill or continued loyalty theyare said to owe. Jun Wu for trying to groom and gaslight another child (Xie Lian) to become another abuser and killer simply because he did not like the way said child interacted with the world with the position he had socially.

We also see from all three of these same works, is that these characters do also begin to physically abuse these same children as well as engage in isolation and negligence of them more than once. Enough that the audience should understand that these adults are not misunderstood AS THE ADULTS WITH CHILDREN UNDER THEIR CARE.

And as I have said before, whatever love may exist in Jiang Cheng for Jin Ling (and he desperately does, that isn't in dispute at any time unless someone who reads this is that stupid to come to the conclusion and say JiangWanyinscatmom is saying Jiang Cheng never cared or loved his nephew at all), does not negate the abuse that he has exhibited from the start of his very introduction when he threatens Jin Ling with abandonment when he says this:

江澄话中带刺，又是一转：“还站着干什么，等着猎物自己撞���来插|你剑上？今天你要是拿不下这大梵山里的东西，今后都不必来找我了！”

Jiang Cheng's words were full of thorns, he turned around and said, "Why are you still standing there, waiting for the prey to bump into you and pierce itself on your sword? If you can't hunt down that creature in Dafan Mountain by today, don't you ever come back to me again!"

[palms-upturned]

Addiction is a morally neutral circumstance. People do not become addicted to alcohol or other substances because they are bad people or did something to “deserve” it. It can happen for any number of reasons and circumstances and it can happen to literally anyone. But demonizing addicts especially harms the most vulnerable people among us— the homeless, the disabled, the poor, the traumatized. And especially people of color and/or the psychiatrically incarcerated. Everyone (not literally everyone, as in people from every demographic) drinks and does drugs, but cops pick and choose who to punish for doing so. Legal and psychiatric institutions will use addiction as a reason to strip a person of their rights and agency as a human being. People will use it as an excuse to ignore the homeless people in their community, to assume that they are in this situation because of poor judgment, that it’s useless to give them money because they’ll spend it on drugs or alcohol. They’ll justify calling cops on addicts and homeless people and anyone who looks or acts outside of what they consider normal because “I was scared and thought they were on drugs.”

Addicts are not inherently dangerous. There is no such thing as an inherently dangerous person. Some addicts may be violent and angry. Some people who’ve never so much as sipped on a beer may be, too. But what is proven to be true is that addicts are subjected to levels of violence and indignity and isolation that most of us can’t even begin to imagine. A lot of times, the addiction is a product of suffering that was already happening to begin with: abuse, untreated chronic pain/illness, poverty and hunger, trauma, the general misery of trying to survive in oppressive conditions. And when you treat addicts with scorn just on the basis of their addictions, you allow the people who actually have the power to do something about all of these systemic problems to successfully scapegoat innocent people in order to not have to do anything.

Be compassionate. Ask yourself why someone would be self-medicating to begin with.

[fuumiku]

They’re really interesting foils in many ways. I’ve always thought that Marcille & Mithrun have underrated dynamic potential. Give me the cringefail dungeon lords. Give me the elves with ears-centric metaphorical self-image issues. Give me the academic elites whose deepest strongest desires will always remain unreachable and the only option is to turn to the corrupt forbidden fruit of a demon pact. I am so so normal about Mithrun and Marcille

I wonder if the resemblance between captain Mithrun and general Hagreus aka Marcille’s fave in Dalclan is intentional… They definitely look very alike. It could represent idealization vs reality? Something something the romanticization of elves and their societal drama in their fiction vs a very real and imperfect product of their military system. The canaries certainly aren’t glamorous next to whatever Hagreus is the general of. I feel like she never had the opportunity to notice the resemblance herself bc within seconds of meeting him he was wrestling her on the ground but. If she had… She would so think he should have been his actor in the tallman stage play of Daltian Clan in that new extra comic hehe. I love the little details like Hagreus’ lips being drawn with extra details because they’re full and pretty while Mithrun’s lips are drawn with extra details because they’re chapped lmao.

This art is all silly and surface level but in my head mithrille is like so dramatic and I make up daltian clan level big plots with them gbdgd. I made a spotify playlist for mithrun if y’all interested, rn it’s mostly centered around cravings that consume and losing yourself and illusions inspired from his time as dungeon lord but it’s branching out. Varied vibes, levels of intensity and degrees of confusion and await you ✨ I would emotionally rant about Chainsaw Man ost lyrics and how they tie in with Mithrun and the winged lion’s relationship but this post is already a monster

I want more of these two please please please pleaseee just one or two interactions in the new canon content coming up… All they ever did was debate philosophy on desires and human self-fulfillment and try to murder each other, please… I never get to gush about them and I can’t shut up so if you want more thoughts I talk about them more below

To get a girl to peacefully accept arrest follow these simple steps: in private, ominously stand above her and forcefully interrogate her, while in public, tell her you’ve met before (untrue and also not a pickup line) and interrogate her with a thin veneer of decorum. If all else fails, threaten and follow through on said threat. My guy needs more than just physical therapy I’m afraid

Sorry if most of these were Marcille-centric with Mithrun standing there looking cool, if I were doing these more from Mithrun’s pov things would be like "She’s a bit much but I guess I don’t mind hanging around her." or "Oh you’re a half-elf? -insert elven supremacist rethoric-" or "I have to keep her from becoming demon stew." immediately followed by "Did someone say demon? Kill kill kill kill kill" since these are set prior to like really knowing another. Then things would be more like "huh she has bad tastes in novels but her magic research is pretty interesting" and "I’m lonely and don’t understand myself— Oh she loves talking about feelings? Oh shi-" That last one is an aspect of why I like Marcille and Mithrun’s potential dynamic lol. She’s very… Emotionally intelligent alongside being impulsive. You think you have no feelings because the world has beaten them out of you? Think again!! Marcille be upon ye! -In a therapy sort of way but mostly in a connecting with people and your own self through interpersonal relationships and talking kinda way. I just think a lively, upbeat, annoying friend way too interested in your personal life would do him good, the canaries are nice but like if Marcille went to prison and was a sort of extra new bunkmate I think that’d be interesting and fun to read is what I’m saying

Unlike Kabru she wants all the useless messy filler of his backstory, eating chips while listening. Like two chibi sets side by side, "me and my fellow canaries, name name and name-" "Hold on that’s too much info we have to compact this" vs "Then we were to sleep on the third floor of the dungeon, which had the look of a mausoleum, and name and name got into a fight over the campfire placement." while Marcille is like uh-huh what next what next while kicking her feet. She thinks of pre-dungeon pompous Mithrun and is like omg you went through a character arc and became better as a person- and then he opens his mouth and she’s like nevermind let’s keep working on that. She would also go "ew ur hair is greasy" and give him a full hair care treatment. What I’m saying is I need them to be forced to spend time in a dungeon together and become besties through a life or death roadtrip

Marcille is insecure about her ears, long, like an elf’s pride should be, but rounder, inelegant. Seeing Mithrun though, the epitome of beauty, with his half-cut ears make it a sillier thought. Not sure if Mithrun is the best person to reconnect with ur elven culture with but it sure is an option Marcille would so appreciate being around someone both cool headed and kind, I genuinely think they’d get along, like not that Senshi isn’t that too most of the time but I think Mithrun would be in a way that’s more refreshing to her. I’d be so curious about them discussing Dalclan, I doubt he’d have read it but she could make him read it, maybe post-canon with the excuse that they’re trying to find him a new hobby hah. He’d tear into the writing and everything but it’d be a fun time, I like to think that it’d make him a bit less prejudiced. Marcille @ Mithrun "👉👈 Soo maybe you don’t know these books they’re pretty recent having come out 50 years ago but…"

I’ve been in a Mithrun phase I want to make and read Mithrun-centric fics and angst so baaad. I razz him a lot here but he’s literally a traumatized military man that became obsessed with revenge due to bad coping and neglects himself in the process idk not much for him going on and some of it is because he has to work on himself, but hey no one’s perfect it all comes from a place of love and relating though I prommy. He’s the one ungodly angsty squeaky toy blorbo with brain damage rep I have don’t take him from me

[glow-worms-are-believers]

Meet your Death (dp x dc)

Danny remembers the day he died in patches.

He can’t remember what day of the week it was, but he can recall with perfect accuracy the feeling of the rubber jumpsuit on his skin. Sam and Tucker’s voices in his ears as he unlocks the front door are crystal-clear but what Sam had actually said when she’d dared him to go in the portal is buried deep in his brain. Jazz says it’s normal. She says memory can get weird when trauma is involved. Her books write that it’s good to talk about it but Jazz must see something in his face when she relays the information because her voice softens as she tells him it’s ok to let it be forgotten too. Then, she hugs him and Danny melts into it: his sister gives the best hugs.

So yeah, Danny doesn’t remember the day he died very well.

That’s why he doesn’t really understand why he remembers the woman so perfectly.

He’s not sure if she was real or a product of his electrocuted brain but she appeared like magic, just as he let out his death wail.

“Oh, damn. That’s not a fun way to go,” she’d said with a grimace.

And all of a sudden Danny had been out of his twitching, painful body, seeing it from the side. “What happened?” he asked, terrified.

He had felt her put a hand on his shoulder. “I’m sorry kid,” she said, and she sounded sincere. “You’ve just died.”

“What? No,” Danny had babbled. “No, I can’t. I’m going to be an astronaut.”

“I’m sorry sweetheart,” the woman repeated, squeezing his shoulder.

“But-” he tried as he caught sight of her kind expression and it calmed him slightly. “I’ve never even been kissed!” Danny had continued nonsensically.

The woman had let out a laugh. “Personally, I think it’s overrated,” she shared like a secret, good-humouredly.

“I still would’ve liked to try,” he’d pouted which had her ruffling his hair fondly and something settled in his chest at the gesture. Elsewhere, something clicked into place and most of the fight left him, his protests dying on his lips.

“Come on, honey,” she’d told him before putting her hands on his shoulders to steer him away from the portal. “Time to go.” So, Danny had let himself be directed after one last glance at his body.

He hadn’t even taken one step before a terrible pain shook his whole body and he fell to his knees.

“Danny!” The woman exclaimed, but her voice sounded faint to his ears.

The boy’s hands flew to his chest as he curled on himself, as the pain burned through his limbs before he once again let out a blood-curling scream. And all of the sudden he was back in his body with Sam and Tucker looking down at him, their faces full of horror.

“Danny!” Tucker had exclaimed and Danny had seen what looked like tears in his best friend’s eyes, meanwhile, Sam had looked him all over frantically to find an injury. Danny had tried to tell them he was ok, but his mouth had felt like cotton and his eyes had felt so heavy.

Just before his eyelids had slid closed, he’d thought he’d seen the woman from before peering at him confusedly over Sam’s shoulder.

[wolfgangvoncoltpost]

The amount of abuse being thrown in the direction of Oliver and Lou about this weeks episode is actual insanity.

Lou has been getting abuse for months for simply doing his job (most criticising his use of Cameo, which fair if you disagree with that as a source of income, but then hold all actors to the same standard? Eric Winter has Cameo but nobody is claiming that he is creating some kind of parasocial relationship with his fans…) The abuse he has endured from a certain sub-sect of the 911 fandom has been difficult to watch unfold and I truly think that it’s a good thing that he called it out in interviews this week - nobody expects to do their job and then to have hoards of teenagers online threatening death upon them.

It is disappointing that nobody from the production of cast spoke out about this, and now for his exit to be lauded as those very ‘fans’ of the show being a step closer to getting what they want? It’s frustrating to see. As a quick aside… if I see one more person using the phrase media literacy I might scream.

As for Oliver… this is a man who has given his all for eight seasons, has handled this storyline with care and who made a slightly off the mark comment in an interview and is being raked over the coals for it. The fact that people are taking these comments as an opportunity to make cruel comments about him as a person when he was being celebrated following the Halloween episode only the week before is such a jarring turn around that it does truly beg the question as to why people are watching the show in the first place. He can’t breathe without people claiming he is queerbaiting, or now supposedly being bi-phobic - those claiming that his silence is a sign of cowardice need to go outside and touch some grass. This is a man with hundreds of thousands of followers, and isn’t particularly active on social media as is, faced with the vitriol being thrown his way? I’d keep it schtum too. To put it simply as a fellow British person, if that man snaps back, he will do so harder than he has before… you all call him ‘Demon Stark’ when he doesn’t adhere to your beliefs of being squeaky clean and polished on social media normally, that’s him being British lite.

911 has never been a show about a single character or a single relationship and despite both sides of this ridiculous ’ship war’ thinking otherwise, it never will be.

Yes, the ending of this week’s episode was completely out of place and quite frankly, given the context we have been shown in the last episode, out of the blue - and yes, people may be disappointed. But that in no way shape or form entitles you to dogpile onto the actors who were given a script because they have done their job. Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr… it’s been nigh on unbearable, just wait to see where things go and for god’s sake, stop sending random actors abuse.

[gayfromusa]

Climbing Partners

[ Art from ksk199999 on DeviantArt, story by me ]

Brandon and Jordan (both 21) had been climbing buddies for about three years. Jordan always wanted a higher, tougher climb, and Brandon was always went along. Brandon loved the time he spent with his buddy, but wasn’t always enthusiastic about traveling so frequently to the mountains each summer. While he enjoyed the challenge, sometimes he just wanted to relax in the sun for a week instead of busting his ass climbing as a vacation.

On one sunny summer day at Brandon’s apartment pool during their breaks from college, Jordan asked Brandon about going for another climb.

“Hey man, how do you feel about going for a climb this weekend?”

“That sounds like a great time, but why don’t we just chill by the pool this weekend? I’d love to just hang with you. We can totally go on a climb next weekend though.” Brandon responded.

While his request was very reasonable, Jordan still couldn’t let go of the idea of reaching a new death-defying height and seeing the incredible views. Jordan made his point known to Brandon, “Dude, there’s always more time to relax, we won’t always be able to climb. C’mon, let’s do it dude.”

Just before Brandon could say something, he got a spam on his phone reading, “Buy now! The brand new Size Gun uses atomic energy technology to transform the size of those around you, to any height within the range! Only $50! Get it before the price goes up!” He showed Jordan before he tried to delete it.

“Dude, look at this bullshit!” Brandon laughed.

Jordan smiled, “Imagine if that was real dude, we could both have the weekend we want.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, you could relax all day by the pool, and I could be shrunk to make you the size of a mountain. Honestly the view of your apartment complex would be spectacular from a new perspective.”

Brandon started thinking. It was Tuesday, he just got a bonus from last week’s paycheck, and Jordan was absolutely right. He honestly was excited at even the possibility of a real man being the size of a toy in his hand. “You know, what if this thing is legit? There has to be some sort of legal thing preventing them from selling this, so why not try and get my hands on it before they get caught? And honestly it’s so cheap for what it’s offering.”

“There’s no way though, right?”

“I don’t know man, but even if there’s a small chance, I’d bet something for it. Let’s see if this is real.” Right then, Brandon clicked the link and ordered the product. He put priority shipping on it. “It’ll be here Friday. If this thing doesn’t work, then we‘ll spend Saturday climbing and Sunday relaxing, deal?”

“Dude, I’m so in. This could be sick.”

——————

Friday came and a package arrived. Brandon spent the night figuring it out and texted for Jordan to come over the next morning for a surprise.

On Saturday, Jordan knocked on the door of the apartment, and Brandon opened. “Is it real dude?!” Jordan asked with excitement.

“Well come inside and see!”

Jordan walked in and closed the door. Brandon led him to the living room where on the table sat a sci-fi-looking gun of sorts. “How does it even work??”

“Well I tried reading the instructions to find out, but they were in Chinese. Found a YouTube video where they basically said they can’t release how it works due to it being such a new technology. Anyways, it only works on biological matter. It’s not able to make anyone taller than their normal height, unless someone else is shrunk, then the height can be transferred to whoever. The limit on shrinking is currently an inch tall. It’s also supposed to make the person a bit more durable than you expect since it makes them more dense, but the guy said to still be extremely careful if ever handling a shrunken person.”

“One inch seems a bit tiny for climbing you, maybe we could do two inches instead?”

“Yeah sure, but don’t be shocked if you get there later.”

Jordan laughed off that last comment, “Dude I am so excited. I’ve kept on thinking about everything ever since earlier this week. Can we test it out?”

“Yeah man! It connects to my phone, then I have to make a profile for you. I made one for myself already. I’ll input your height and scan you with the gun. I hope you’re chill with it man, you have to be naked for the scan.”

Jordan nodded his head.

“Alright go ahead and strip.”

Jordan blushed slightly while he awkwardly got naked. He heard Brandon say it only shrank biological matter, so he’d be naked when he shrinks anyways. He really did want a climbing challenge, and only brought up this idea as a joke. Now that he is about to actually be able to do this, he started thinking about Brandon’s body. Brandon stood at a good 6’0”, and Jordan at a below average 5’8”. Brandon had impressive muscles, and occasionally Jordan wished he could feel them, but always wanted to respect Brandon and never asked.

But now Jordan was going to feel Brandon’s muscles up close, for maybe even a few hours. Even more pressed in his mind was Brandon’s specific features he might get to climb on. His feet, his pecs, his biceps, and maybe even other parts of his body. Thinking about all this gave Jordan a boner that he didn’t even notice, and he was already in just his underwear.

“You excited for today lil’ buddy?” Brandon smirked.

“I-“ Jordan blushed a bright red.

“Hey dude it’s alright, to be perfectly honest, I haven’t gotten the thought of you as a living toy out of my head”

“Oh, uh.. then let’s do this.” Jordan nervously took off his underwear.

Jordan, fully nude, stood before Brandon. Brandon pointed the gun and a fast burst of light emitted from it. Brandon set it down, while Jordan clothed himself.

“Why are you getting dressed? Your clothes won’t shrink.” Asked Brandon

“I wanna feel them get bigger on me.” Jordan said.

Brandon chuckled a bit, “Fair enough I guess.”

Brandon looked at the app on his phone. Jordan filled his profile for the app. He input his height, weight, sex, his feet size, then left blank the desired height spot for Brandon to fill out.

“I wanna start by just making you just slightly shorter, just to see if it works, how does 5’0” sound to you?”

“I mean 8 inches seems like a lot, but yeah let’s do it!”

Brandon once again pointed the gun, he pressed the trigger and the light flashed. No sounds or anything.

“Did it work?” Asked Jordan.

“I think so.. it’s not supposed to be instant, but shouldn’t take too- oh there ya go.” Brandon noticed Jordan’s eyes shrink down a bit.

Jordan felt a sensation through his body. His previously snug shirt and shorts now a bit loose. “Holy fuck dude it worked!!” Jordan reacted.

“Damn dude, my shorty got even smaller.” Brandon jokingly smiled.

“Dude I wasn’t short before. 5’8” isn’t short.”

“Maybe, but an angry 5’0” sure is cute.” Brandon began to laugh a little bit started messing with his friend’s hair.

Jordan’s face got a bit red again, then he pushed Brandon’s hand off his head.

Brandon didn’t say anything, just smirked and started inputting stuff into the app again.

“Hey! What are you doing now?”

Brandon pointed the gun and fired the silent blast again. “Made you small enough so you can’t fight back.” Brandon smiled.

Before Jordan could do something, he felt the sensation and this time got a bit dizzy. He fell back a bit, then his shorts fell down his legs and he tripped on them “What the- how big am I now?” Sitting with his butt on the ground, Jordan looked up and saw a staggering figure. His friend seemed more than twice the size of a normal human. He began to cower a bit as Brandon’s hands reached down.

Brandon laughed at Jordan’s choice of words as he crouched down and helped the little guy up. “You’re 2 feet small now.” Brandon laughed once Jordan was on his feet, seeing the huge oversized shirt on his friend was hilarious. He snapped a picture then removed the shirt from Jordan. “There you are again! All your glory. Still excited I see.” Brandon poked Jordan’s dick, Jordan tried to fight Brandon’s hand again but ended up pushing himself back more than doing anything to stop Brandon.

“I- I’m so sorry Brandon,” Jordan tried his best to cover the hard-on, “This is all so new to me, and seeing you so huge is kinda turning me on. We can stop if you want to, I don’t wanna do anything you’re not okay with.”

“Well I saw your hard dick earlier too bud, I kinda figured this was turning you on. Now that you’re tiny I can say that this is also really hot to me. I’m not gonna stop, no matter what you’re going down to two inches.” Brandon said with a hint of seriousness that hadn’t been there before.

Jordan was shocked. Brandon was speaking with such authority over him. He felt like a child, any sense of control was lost in that tone. A fear set in, he was at the mercy of this man. There was nothing he could do to stop his friend if he wanted to. Thankfully he didn’t want to.

Brandon shot the gun at Jordan one final time, then Jordan passed out.

——————

After what seemed like hours, Jordan woke up. He was outside, laying on a cloth surface of some sort. It was hot outside, around 80 degrees Fahrenheit, so still pretty bearable.

Jordan sat up and looked around. He was on a humungous beach towel that was flat on the ground. He looked up and saw Brandon laying back on a pool chair in just his swimsuit. He was sound asleep with his hands behind his head, feet on the ground touching the opposite end of the towel.

Jordan grew excited, it was time to climb his friend. The moment he’d been waiting for. He began to run to Brandon’s right foot, realizing the distance, he slowed to a better pace.

Jordan had never in his life imagined a foot this massive. Size 13 was big, but it had never seemed this big. Still, once Jordan reached the foot he realized he could at least climb onto the foot with relative ease. The smell was prominent, but Jordan didn’t think it smelled bad by any means.

He paused though, and decided to explore the foot a bit before venturing upwards. Starting with the pinky toe, Jordan compared his own body to it, roughy half his size. He was amazed at the size. Moving to each bigger toe, Jordan found the sizes so hot. Reaching the big toe, he laid down next to it for a moment. It was bigger than he was. He stood up and bent over onto the toe and spread his arms, feeling the massive toenail. He then went to the side of the foot, and positioned himself under Brandon’s arch, nuzzling into the soft skin a bit, and noticed that Brandon was a bit sweaty already, just from laying in the heat. Jordan didn’t want to leave, but he decided to keep going before the sweat got too much worse.

Jordan got up and walked back to the pinky toe to climb onto the foot, and crawled his way towards the leg hair. The hairs didn’t contain a lot of traction, so Jordan had to sort of wrap one around his hand and pull himself up little by little. Getting past the knee, Brandon’s thigh was much easier due to the less harsh angle. It was still tough, but not as difficult.

He then reached the next challenge of his journey, Brandon’s swim shorts. They were made of a waterproof material without a lot of traction for the tiny man to grab onto, so Jordan decided to crawl under the shorts. What was one more detour? The man was seemingly sound asleep, and seemed pretty comfortable with Jordan’s hard-on earlier, so why not stop by and see Brandon’s beast for a moment?

Jordan slipped under the shorts and made his way towards it in the darkness. Before that, there was a sort of net/mesh barrier he needed to get through. Managing to push it up and squeeze underneath, he was safe from falling because of the barrier. The overwhelming musky scent of Brandon’s cock began to hit, it put Jordan into a horny state of mind. Climbing over just a bit more, he bumped into the semi-hard anaconda. Pausing for a moment to reflect on what he was doing, he continued. Jordan began to nuzzle up against it, and attempted to reach his arms around, but was far too small to reach around the girth. Still he tried to squeeze. It began to grow a bit harder from the sensation he was giving it, that’s when Jordan backed off and decided to keep going.

Climbing upwards a bit more another issue arose, the elastic band around the swim shorts were skin tight to Brandon’s waste. He went in arms and head first and tried to army crawl under the obstacle. It took a few minutes but eventually he crawled up the other side, revealing a glorious landscape Jordan rarely got to see; Brandon’s beautifully toned and tanned abs.

He paused to catch his breath, and at the same time turned around. Jordan saw the whole apartment complex’s pool space. Given it was a nice weekend day in the middle of summer, there was actually quite a few people. Some families, a lifeguard, and even some pretty big guys, all enjoying the pool and the sun. Thankfully Brandon picked a spot away from most people which wasn’t by the edge of the pool. He was the only person in this corner. Seeing all the ginormous people going about their day, not realizing a tiny person was climbing the man tanning in the corner, was intriguing.

Jordan wondered to himself if Brandon was going to grow him back after this. The way Brandon seemed so eager to have power over him made him wonder if he should climb down now and try and find someone who would certainly help him get back. Then Jordan realized, these people might not see him, they could crush him and just think he was a bug. But even if he found someone who wanted to help, Jordan couldn’t grow back without the mass stored in Brandon’s machine, and without Brandon’s app. Brandon had all the power, even if Jordan was in someone else’s hands.

He turned back to the giant he was climbing and accepted his fate, feeling someone content. Brandon would certainly grow him back, he beat himself up mentally for considering that Brandon didn’t have his best interest in mind. After all, Jordan asked for this. Besides, Brandon’s abs were hot. Jordan climbed up a bit onto his friend’s belly and laid there for a moment. Spreading himself and feeling the muscles. He then got up and kept going.

Knowing his end goal was the top of Brandon’s head, Jordan realized he could never climb straight up Brandon’s neck, he’d have to climb onto his biceps and forearm to reach Brandon’s head. But now Jordan felt he needed to hurry, if Brandon woke up, Jordan would certainly fall flat onto the concrete below.

But Jordan couldn’t help himself when he reached Brandon’s pecs, again he laid down for a moment then spread himself out between them. His mind going back and forth, Jordan got up and kept going. Finally being able to stand when reaching the collar bone, Jordan moved pretty quickly towards the bicep. He laid against the muscle for a moment, feeling it with his arms spread yet again, and then his footing slipped.

Jordan fell what felt like almost ten feet, but was actually just down to Brandon’s rank armpits. Definitely no deodorant used today, not that Jordan was complaining. He had caught himself using the armpit hairs. And used the same strategy from before, and began to wrap his hands around the hairs to secure himself and climb up. He made his way up and this time didn’t fondle with Brandon’s ginormous arms this time, and instead kept climbing.

Using the last bit of his strength, Jordan finally reached the end. And laid on top of Brandon’s head in relief. Immediately, Brandon’s massive hand made a move to scoop Jordan. The hand enclosed around him and Jordan could barely move. He struggled for a bit but gave up upon realizing Brandon was up and walking, likely back to the apartment.

——————

Brandon opened his hand and placed Jordan on the desk in his room. Jordan collected his composure to the best of his ability and stood up and watched Brandon.

Brandon walked around the room a bit, picked up an old pair of socks off the floor and placed them in the laundry. He then took off his swimsuit, this time turned around revealing his muscles butt to Jordan. He threw the swimsuit into the laundry then turned and went to stand at the end of the desk. Jordan while on the desk was eye level with the head of Brandon’s dangling cock. His dick now appeared much more massive when it was freed from its mesh cage.

Jordan stared at the dick in front of his face for a moment, then began to lean his head back to look up at Brandon. Brandon was looking down at him with a pondering look in his eyes.

“Just so you know, I was awake the whole time.” Brandon stated.

“So you almost let me fall off your bicep??” Jordan seemed shocked. Why wouldn’t Brandon save his friend?

Brandon replied, “You caught yourself, I almost flinched, but I’ve seen your reflexes before and knew you could handle it. But regardless, do you remember the other parts of the journey?”

“The uh- oh, um..”

“It seems you rather enjoyed my feet, my abs, my pecs, my biceps, and not to mention my eight inch cock. I’m glad you took a fascination to me.”

“Wait, why are we in your room? Are you going to grow me back?”

“Not today. We said the weekend, remember? I want to play with you since you got to play with me.”

“Brandon, I-“ Jordan was shocked. He was reminded of his powerlessness from Brandon’s tone of voice. He had never seen this side of Brandon before today, and felt completely helpless to do anything besides comply. His dick got hard again.

“Jordan you are enjoying this more than I am, let me have some fun, okay?” Brandon left the room for a moment and returned with the gun, “To be honest, I wish I could make you smaller than an inch, but it’ll have to do.” The light flashed and Jordan felt himself dwindle down even tinier.

Brandon picked up Jordan with a hand that now felt twice the size. Brandon sat down on the carpet of the room and opened his hand and smiled.

“You are so cute, I’m so glad we did this.” Brandon said with a bit of a smile.

Jordan felt uneasy and turned on at the same time. He didn’t want to be like this tiny all weekend, but that thought started to fade when Brandon set him down. He tried to figure out where for a moment, but then realized he was laying between Brandon’s feet that were placed together. Brandon winked at Jordan then closed his feet softly.

Jordan could opened his mouth a bit and could taste the sweat from the gargantuan feet. Brandon slowly rubbed his feet back and forth a little bit, which caused such a pleasurable sensation for Jordan that he began to moan. Brandon heard the moans and stopped, picking out Jordan from his feet and bringing him over to his armpit.

“You know, I probably could have saved you now that I think about it, my armpit is pretty soft and could have protected you pretty well. Hope you enjoy bud.” Brandon said with a smirk.

Jordan was placed in Brandon’s pit once again, this time when Jordan grabbed the hair from the pit, Brandon closed his arm shut. The smell was ten times more potent, and the feeling of being enclosed under such a monstrous bicep was magnificent. The heat, sweat, and pressure only added to the experience. He had never felt more comfort, safety, vulnerability, and helplessness all at once. It was wonderful.

Jordan expected this to only last a minute or so, but instead it went on for ten or fifteen as Brandon walked around with Jordan before he could finally breathe normally again. He was plucked out of the pit, now smelling like it from the sweat, and held in front of Brandon again.

“I hope you enjoyed, I think I felt you ejaculate almost as soon as I closed my arm, but you’re still hard. Guess you wanna keep going.”

Brandon then brought his hand with Jordan in it down to the his dick. Without hesitation, Brandon grabbed his cock with the hand he was holding Jordan in, and began to masturbate. The cock was fully erect already, and Brandon slowly moved his hand up and down with Jordan being used as a sex toy.

Brandon then stopped for a moment to set Jordan down onto the desk once more, before continuing to masturbate at an increased speed and harder grip. Jordan sat watching the event transpire, only realizing a second before the climax what was about to happen as Brandon came all over Jordan’s helpless body, knocking him down. Brandon moaned as he released the cum.

He grabbed Jordan and brought him up to his mouth where he licked off the cum from Jordan’s back, then his front. The mouth and tongue were so huge to Jordan, and he could hardly process what was happened as he was receiving a sensory overload. When the second lick happened, Jordan came again.

Jordan was set on the desk once more as Brandon sat down in his chair and looked at Jordan. Brandon was smiling and had a look of glee in his eyes, “That was amazing, thank you for coming up with the idea for this weekend. I’m so glad I have you.”

[theambitiouswoman]

Hello there :)

Any advice for us girlies who feel as if they want to achieve their goals, know what steps to take, etc. But yet somehow in the middle of progress get burnt out and fall back down again..

Been kinda stuck in that cycle

I totally understand that feeling! The key is to pace yourself. It’s easy to push too hard when you’re passionate about your goals, but we won’t always feel inspired & motivated. Break your goals into smaller steps and celebrate mini wins. Taking breaks is okay and doesn’t mean you’re falling behind—it’s part of the process & gives you the energy to keep going. The success of your goals heavily depends on the success of your personal development. It’s not always about actively working on the goal or being “productive”. When burnout hits, try reconnecting with your “why.” Be gentle with yourself when things don’t go perfectly; it’s okay. It’s normal. That’s where you learn the skills you need, as long as you keep going.

You’re capable of achieving so much—just be patient with yourself along the way and never let your mind convince you that you “can’t”.

[ladylooch]

Bones - Part 4 [Mack x David]

A/N: *inhales and exhales heavily* Here we go.

I'm sorry...... & good luck. Would love it if you came to talk to me in my asks about this one.

Word Count: 5.1k

Rangers Looking To Make Moves, David Carlson could be one of them.

Insider Sources Hint at Huge Deal Between Stars and Rangers.

Rangers In Search Of Forward Depth: Potential Move Involving David Carlson?

“Mack? Ready in about five?” Her editor, Sonja, asks as she power walks by Mack’s cubicle. 

“Yep.” Mack answers back absentmindedly. She is currently scrolling through her newsfeed, scanning the ballooning elephant of David’s trade rumors. 

Mack tried to talk herself out of looking, but she hasn’t been able to put her phone away. Social media is a dangerous drug. Mack considers herself an expert navigator, but these rumors involve her life outside of 280 characters. The line between reality and rumor has begun to blur. While this happens in her brain, David says nothing. He probably has his reasons, but Mack can’t help but feel betrayed. Why isn’t he talking to her about this? Doesn’t he trust her? This feels like something they should be talking about, even Lucie said as much at breakfast last week.

Mack finishes reading over the comments of speculation. The rumors seem to be trending towards Dallas or Seattle. Mack’s stomach drops out when she realizes how far away both those options are.

“Ready?” Andrew, her colleague asks. Mack nods, putting her phone into her desk and gathering her notebook. The entire walk to the glass enclosed conference room, Mack tries to shed her personal life. Normally, she steps over that threshold and she can become whoever she needs to be to tell a story. Not today.

Today, Mack is quiet, listening to her team members add productive discussion for next quarters issues. Several locations are floated around that should make Mack excited and jumping to go for them. None of them do. Instead, she finds her focus trailing out the window to the building across the street. The world moves around her, but Mack feels stuck in place. Her least favorite thing.

“Mack, how is your hand not up?” Cecilia, another team member, asks. Mack turns back to her.

“What? Sorry?” Mack’s eyes divert to Sonja who looks back at Mack with a neutral face.

“Would you like to volunteer for Ireland?” Sonja repeats.

Mack has been dying to go to Ireland. There is so much to do there, so many different directions she could take her story, and although she has lived in and traveled all over Europe, she hasn’t made it there yet. She is constantly chatting with her coworkers about how she wants to do a story there. But now her hand stays in her lap. How could she leave the country with it being such tumultuous times at home? What if she leaves and David is traded? Coming back to New York and him not being here would slice her open. 

“When?” 

“Three weeks, but you could go as early as Thursday if you want more exploring time.”

“Oh. Um.” She anxiously rubs at her thighs. “I-”

“You could go after Cabo too.” Sonja answers. Cabo is the Allstar trip she has put together for the Rangers with recommendations from her colleagues. Everything is scheduled including a huge house right on the water. It has multiple pools, a hot tub, a private beach, and exclusive access to the Yacht club. 

“I’m gonna have to say no.” She hears herself say. WHAT!?She shakes off her inner demon who wants to launch a ‘just kidding’. Her whole team looks back at her with surprise. “I just need to stick around here right now. If that’s okay? I’ll take something close.” 

“We have that story on hidden gems in America? A lot of them are on the East Coast. Easily day trips.”

“Yeah, that sounds great!” Mack answers with enthusiasm she doesn’t actually feel.

The meeting moves on, but Mack can’t. Did she really just turn down Ireland for New Hampshire? With everyone’s assignments in hand, the meeting ends. Again, Mack is slow to react. Sonja stays behind.

“Are you okay?” She asks when it’s only the two of them. “You are not yourself.”

“I am a bit distracted.” 

“Anything I can help with?”

“Nope. Thanks for letting me stick around though.” Sonja laughs, shrugging.

“Something is definitely up if you’re missing out on Ireland. Let me know how I can support you, okay?”

Mack nods then Sonja power walks off to her next meeting. After swiping her phone from her drawer, Mack avoids sitting down at her cubical and heads straight to the bathroom at the back of the office. She walks into the last stall, letting her back hit the cool tile. Mack’s head finds her hands, awkwardly shoving her nose to the side due to her phone.

What the hell is happening to me?

Her phone starts to vibrate against her face. She pulls back, seeing David’s picture.

“Hello?” She answers quickly.

“Hi, are you home?”

“No.” Worry settles into her voice.

“Oh okay, no worries. I left my wallet at your place. Just figured it out, now Woody is buying me lunch.” He chuckles. 

“Oh, you can go grab it after lunch?”

“Okay, can I wait for you to get home too? Kinda miss ya.” 

“Yeah.” Mack smiles to herself. 

“I’ll take a look at your bathroom sink too. The water pressure is horseshit.”

“I put in a maintenance request.”

“Why? They didn’t fix it right last time? I hope they come up while I’m working on it so I can teach them what to do.”

“Please don’t.” Mack sighs, but she can’t help a little giggle.

“When will you be home?” He asks her. Mack can hear traffic whizzing by him as he presumably walks along a sidewalk.

“Probably a few hours.” She mumbles. 

“Alright. I’ll entertain myself.” He assures her.

When Mack gets home, she realizes that means he cleaned her entire apartment, fixed her sink, and has dinner in the oven. 

“Wow…” Mack trails off as she walks in. She puts her work bag on the counter and smiles at him by the stove. “Thank you. I haven’t had much time to clean.” She murmurs.

“I know.” He nods, toweling off his hands with the one over this shoulder. “I’ve been keeping you at my place a lot. I figure if I created the problem, I should clean it up.” He puckers his lips for her. “Hi.” He greets her after their kiss.

“Hi.” She smiles. It doesn’t quite brighten up her face or reach her eyes, which David takes notice of.

“You okay?” He tilts his head at her.

“Yeah. Tired.” She lies. 

Well, maybe not fully. She is tired, but the things that are keeping her up at night are things she could be discussing with him. Yet, Mack believes that if he wanted to talk to her about any of this, he would have already. She swallows hard, trying to will the anxious energy in her body away. David’s hands on her hips hold her in place when she tries to move around him. 

“I’m not believing that.” He smiles sympathetically. “But if you don’t want to talk about it, that’s fine.” Mack nods. She brushes her hand over his stomach as she walks past. She heads to the fridge to grab a sparkling water from inside. David watches her as she cracks the cap open, taking down a few gulps. She hiccups as she pulls the bottle down from her lips. “Why don’t you go change? That outfit looks great, but you should be comfy with the weather we are having.” He points to the window where sheets of snow fall down. 

“Oh that escalated.” Mack murmurs. She walks to the window, looking out at the droves of swirling snow flakes. She sighs, happy to be in here watching it than still commuting home.

“Mack.” David calls softly to her. She looks over her shoulder at him. “Go.” He encourages her, head tilted towards the hallway. She nods again, doing as he asks and wandering down to her bedroom. 

She knows she is spacey and acting weird. But she isn’t quite sure how to act with him right now. A giant elephant is sitting on her chest and he is behaving like everything is normal. Mack quickly changes into a soft sweatsuit in a sage color. She pulls her hair back into a pony tail, then pulls on new, warm socks with reindeer faces on them that her mom put into her Christmas stocking.  When she walks into the main area again, the TV is playing local news. The sports section is on but it rolls through without any mention of David, other than his goal a few nights ago, the last time the team played.

“It’s weird you’ve had so many days off.” Mack says, leaning against the counter by the bar stools. 

“Yeah. I hate it.” David shakes his head. He pulls the towel off his shoulder, tossing it onto the counter.

“What are we having?”

“Spatchcock chicken and asparagus.”

“Fancy.” Mack smiles at him. He stares back at her. 

“Why are you over there? C’mere.”

“You’re so sensitive today.” Mack rolls her eyes. “If you wanna cuddle just ask. No need to get grumpy that I’m standing across the room from you.” She tries to keep her tone light, but it’s a little snippy.

“Kay, get over here I want to cuddle.” He begrudges. Him and Mack both know she is deflecting. She doesn’t want him looking at her too closely right now.

Mack walks across the kitchen, sliding her arms around his waist. David crushes her into his chest and she can’t help but melt into him. Her shoulders drop, jaw unclenches, and mind quiets completely. The trade rumors dissipate. The worry about what could happen to them floats away. It’s just the two of them holding each other in her kitchen. David’s hand smooths over her pony tail, then begins to rub long strokes up and down her back. Mack turns her nose more into his chest. David tightens his grip on her, then drops his mouth to her hair.

It’s clear they both needed this hug. 

They don’t break away until the timer for the chicken goes off. David pulls it out. As it rests, he roasts the asparagus. Mack puts together a salad with leftover vegetables in the fridge. Then they sit down and eat dinner together with a glass of wine each. When it’s over, Mack and David move through the apartment in sync, cleaning up the main space. As the dishwasher roars to life, Mack flips all the lights off and takes David’s hand to lead him down to her room. 

There, they make love to each other. It’s soft and slow, filled with gentle smooches and quiet moans of pleasure. Afterwards, they tangle their limbs together. David falls asleep first, surprising to Mack. She studies his face as he sleeps, seeing the lines on his face soften in his slumber. With David out, a familiar monster begins to awaken inside of her. 

It comes out in the quiet, darkness of night. It confuses her and brings back all the things that had melted away when she was in David’s arms. A huge lump fills her throat. She rolls over to her other side. Doing so makes David’s hand fall off her hip. A cold shiver rolls through Mack as she buries her nose into the pillow case beneath her face. 

During sex tonight, David had murmured really sweet things to her. He told her he loved her. He told her how beautiful she looked today. He told her how much he missed her while they ran through their different, separate days, that the world gets quiet when she is in his arms. But he didn’t say anything about the rumors that swirl around him in his professional life. Every time he has an opportunity to tell her and he doesn’t, Mack can feel herself retreat a little more. 

Right before he drifted to sleep, David had sleepily murmured that he couldn’t wait until they find a place together. The memory of that now has a single tear dragging down Mack’s cheek.

Because for the first time, she doesn’t feel like her and David are on the same page. He is already thinking about them moving in together. She’s never thought of that. She’s never thought of anything beyond the current day with him. Now he sees a future for them that Mack isn’t sure she wants this way. A future outside of New York isn’t of interest to her. If David isn’t in New York, there is nothing tying them together anymore, therefore if he leaves New York nothing ties him to her anymore. 

Meanwhile, she has stupidly turned down assignments to stay with him. Her brain is consumed of thoughts of him even when she is away. Panic begins to thread through Mack’s body. She’s too in love with him. This is all way more than she signed up for. She never wanted this. He’s changed her entire life and she went along with it.

How could she have let this happen? How could she have let it go this far?

Mack rolls to her back, staring up at the ceiling. Tears race from the corners of her eyes, falling into her ear canals. This has gone too far. She can’t do this with him. With perfect timing as always, her monster starts to whisper:

You’ll never be able to keep him. You can’t pretend all the time to be good enough for him anyway.

Mack shudders at the words that slice deep into her soul. She wipes her tears then wills herself to sleep. 

In the morning, this will all look different. She is sure of that. 

Long before the sunlight streams into her room, David awakens her to make love again. He is above her, dragging his cock through her core with soft strokes that set her on fire. When she shudders through her orgasm, he fills her up with his own, then collapses into the bed next to her. As his breathing evens out, he brings her into his side, holding her close to him.

“I’m excited about our future.” David murmurs, fingers getting slower. “We’re gonna give Lucie and Connor a run for their money.” He kisses the top of her head. 

Guilt swirls through Mack’s body. 

David continues planning for a future with her while she is choking in fight or flight. 

A tear slides silently down her cheek. David’s soft breathing behind her tells her he has fallen back to sleep. 

Mack blinks more tears down her cheeks, bottom lip trembling.

He deserves so much better than this. So much better than her. Those words are no longer the dark monster from before. Instead they’re just the truth.

And she’s going to make sure he is free to find what he deserves.

In his arms, attempting to memorize his touch, she starts to make her plans. The Ireland assignment comes to mind.

On Thursday, she’ll go there. Do what she was always going to do.

Run.

Or fly… like the humming bird he compares her to.

He won’t be surprised. He’ll be hurt, sure. But he’ll move on. He has to.

She tells herself this is all for his freedom. 

But deep down, the monster reminders her its for her own.

- - - & - - -

(David)

On Thursday, David looks down at the burger he ordered, mouth salivating at the big, half pound patty dripping cheese and bacon grease. Now this is a damn burger. One he might even find in his home state. Props to the place for sticking to the owner’s midwestern roots. He assess the sandwich, deciding two hands on this one would probably be best.

“That looks fire.” Connor murmurs. He opted for a French Dip sandwich and fries. 

Between the two of them, there isn’t a green vegetable in sight. 

“I’m going to crush this.” David confirms. He unrolls his silverware set, putting the napkin in his lap just in case some drippage misses his plate. Connor does the same.

“I’m so excited to have beef. Haven’t been able to have it at home since…” Connor trails off. David raises an eyebrow. Connor grins then shakes his head. “I can’t tell ya.”

“Slut.”

“Can’t get enough of her, man. Don’t act like you don’t get it.” 

David smirks. He does get it. In fact, he almost cancelled on this lunch so he could stay home and bury himself between Mack’s thighs again and again. But Mack said she had to get some work done, so here he is for the second time in two days eating lunch with his D partner. Mack and David had transitioned over to his place last night to meet up with the Woods. He loves that she is comfortable working from his place when he isn’t there.

David swipes a tater tot through some ketchup then pops it into his mouth. He hopes by the time he gets home Mack is doing better. She was weird when he left this morning, weird last night too. He is glad they have some time together before he goes on the road this weekend. Mack has an assignment in New York that is keeping her home with him during that time. All he wants to do is go to the rink, order glutinous take out and fuck. 

Connor hulks down a huge bite of his sandwich as David digs into his burger. He needs his napkin immediately, swiping it across his covered lips. 

“So how you doing with everything, man?” 

David swallows.

“What do you mean?” He asks, then goes in for a second bite.

“With the rumors.”

“Oh. I’m not listen.” David dismisses. “I can’t worry about that shit and play. It’s too hard.”

“Yeah, I get it. I was the same. Where are you at with your contract?”

“Doug said we would talk about it after the season. My agent doesn’t think here is any concern. It’s not like I’m gonna ask for the bank.”

“No, but get what you’re worth. I need you around here with me. Can’t handle the Hischier girls by myself.” David chuckles. Silence fills the space between them as they both take a few more bites. “How is Mack taking it all?”

David pauses mid-chew. He shakes his head slightly, then answers when he swallows.

“We haven’t talked about it since none of it is true.”

Connor looks up quickly from his fries. They hover in his pile of ketchup as alarming blue eyes look across the table at David.

“Yeah, but you warned her and everything right?”

David’s tongue runs along his back molars as an awkward silence fills the table.

No, he didn’t.

“I mean, no? She knows that shit out there isn’t true.”

“Sure, but you told her that right?” Connor clarifies, pointing at the center of David’s chest.

David stares back at his defensive partner. Slowly, Connor’s mouth falls into a cringe.

“That is not the person to leave in the dark on those rumors, man.”

As if Connor’s words are the final puzzle, it all clicks for David. The way Mack was this morning. How she turned away from him immediately after sex last night. How quiet she has been, almost to the point of calculated. His heart hammers to a stop in his chest then a big intake of air raises his huge shoulders.

“Oh FUCK!” He yells. 

She’s running.

He knows it and the awareness cools his blood, sending a chill down his spine.

“What?” Connor asks, concern etching his brows together.

“She wanted me to go to lunch with you so she can run. I’ve gotta go, Woody.”

In a calmer moment, David would pull out his wallet and throw down a few bills. But a glance at his phone tells him he doesn’t have time. He’s been gone for over a half hour. She might already be packed and he’s gotta stop her. His long, athletic stride carries him the five blocks back to his place. He rushes by Philip without a greeting, then pounds the up button on the elevator.

“Come on!” He shouts when it takes too long. He eyes the stairwell, but his heart might explode if he runs up all those flights of stairs. The doors open and he almost barrels over a couple and their kid as he rushes in. “Sorry.” He mumbles, pushing the button for his floor, then the ‘close door’ one repeatedly until it does. He bounces on his feet, heart pounding in his ears as he attempts to catch his breath. The doors open, he flies into the hallway, not seeing her. He tries the door on his place and finds it open. 

Fuck, he hopes she is still here. 

“Mack!” He yells. 

No answer. 

His sneakers slap hard against the wood floors as he heads down the hallway. He can see her pony tail floating in the doorway. Instant relief flowing through him.

She’s still here. 

His relief is short lived when he walks forward and sees her packed suitcase on the bed.

- - - & - - -

(Mack)

Mack is zipping up her suitcase when she hears the apartment door open. Her gaze snaps to the doorway. David’s hurried foot steps rush down the hallway. She frowns, then goes back to stuffing her phone charger into the side pocket. This is not ideal, but she planned for it. She is ready for this interaction. Ready for him to beg her to stay here with him and prepared with an army of reasons why they are never going to work, now or in the future. 

“Mack, stop packing.” He calls to her from the hallway. Mack freezes. Of course he already knows. She keeps going, putting the suitcase on its wheels. They meet at the door of his bedroom. “Babe, I’m not going anywhere. I talked to management. None of this is real. I’m not being traded.” Disappointment has Mack sighing internally. She wishes he had told her this days ago.

“Okay.” Mack shrugs, keeping a blank face. David frowns. His eyes move to the right, looking over his room. Every single thing of hers is gone, down to the collection of hair ties on her side of the bed. “I’m heading out of town for awhile on a long assignment. I don’t know when I’ll be back.” David chews on the inside of his cheek, searching her face. He shakes his head slightly, looking confused and hurt.

“Mack, what are you doing?”

“I’m packing.” She swallows hard, hating the way her voice wobbles slightly.

“You’re going out of town. Why do you need your house slippers?” He motions to where they used to sit by the door.

“Because I want them at my place.”

“So, you going out of town means you aren’t going to keep anything here either?”

“I don’t see the point to that.” Mack shrugs. “Like I said, I am heading out on a long assignment. I’m going to be gone for awhile. I’m not sure when I will be back, so I’m taking everything with me.” 

“What?” He questions. “Where are you going?”

“Ireland.”

“Since when? You just told me two nights ago you were here in New York through the Allstar break, and suddenly you’re leaving for an undetermined amount of time?”

“Yeah. That’s this business.” She says flatly, unemotional. David shakes his head.

“What is happening?” He whispers, getting closer to her. He reaches out for her cheek and Mack immediately pulls away. “Is this about a few nights ago? I didn’t mean-“

“No. It’s not. But that was a reminder to me how… different we are. And I think we should be realistic about our shelf life.” David’s eyebrows furrow together. That hurt him. Mack looks away, not wanting to see the sting on his face.

This is inevitable, the monster reminds herself. She’s just pulling the plug before they go back to hating each other and make this harder for everyone around them.

“Shelf life?” He sighs heavily, stepping aside for her to pass by him. He is hot on her heels into the main area of his place. “What the fuck, Mack? We love each other.” 

“For now.” She shrugs her shoulder, going to her purse and double checking she grabbed everything she needed from the main area. She finds her water bottle and phone where she put them a few minutes ago. She’s officially packed. Mack grabs the key to his place, trying to ignoring the light up, corn key chain and the way it burns her skin in her hand. “I can give you your key back.”

“Stop.” David snaps, enclosing her hand with his. He grabs the keys out of her hands. He shakes his head, looking at her, panic all over his face. “Just…” He licks his lips, looking out at the city. “Talk to me.” 

“I am. You don’t like what I’m saying.” She retorts. 

“I don’t understand what you’re saying. We literally had an incredible night and I make a comment about how I’m excited to move in together someday, and you’re running now? What are you afraid of?” He emphasizes the last line at her, pausing with his hands out to the side. The Iowa keychain in his hand is blinking red, green and blue. Mack stares at it, pursing her lips. A huge lump swells in her throat. She tries to swallow but can’t. 

“I just don’t think this is going to work.”

“What?”

“You and me. So I think we should.” She moves her hands apart. “Go in different directions.” 

Stunned, David straightens. He blinks, trying to absorb the blow of her words. He runs the hand without her keys in it through his hair then blows out a heavy sigh. His hand roughly rubs at the stubble from where he shaved his beard off yesterday, leaving only his signature mustache. Mack blinks off the slight hitch of his breathing on the inhale. 

“Okay.” He nods his head, taking another deep breath. 

David stands on the other side of the island, green eyes intense with emotion as he pins her to the cabinets behind her. He shakes his head then stands to his full height. The keys in his hand slide across the counter to her. They skid to a stop next to her right hand. His arms cross over his chest.

“Okay, I’ll see you when you get back then.”

“David.” Mack rolls her eyes, throwing the keys into her purse.

Why won’t he let her go easily? How can’t he see what she sees? How different they are? How this started with them hating each other and grew into this thing that was never supposed to happen? How she isn’t meant for this WAG, farm wife, American lifestyle that he wants? She needs to be free- wings wide open so she can breathe. Not turning down assignments and worrying about moving to Dallas.

David doesn’t say anything else to her, just stares her down. Mack can tell he is holding everything he can inside. For her benefit or his, she can’t tell.

“I don’t know when I’m coming back.” She reiterates.

“Okay.” He is eerily calm now.

“So we should go separate ways.” 

“No.” He says clearly and assertively. “You wanna run from me, baby? Then just run. Go. But when you’re done with that, and you come back home, I’ll still be here, loving you. You can more your shit back in then too.”

Mack swallows, looping her arm through the handles of her bags, looking down at them because she can’t look at him. 

“It’s for the best.” She repeats. 

“Mack. I love you. So much.” He whispers, words rough and callused like his hands from working the farm his whole life. The words sound painful as if they rip up his body when he says them. Nothing like the ones he whispered to her last night when they made love. 

It almost gets her to stay.

She hesitates for three more seconds, but her mind screams go. So she does.

“Goodbye, David.” 

He puts his head in his hands as she turns to walk out of the kitchen. She can hear his heavy, uncontrolled breathing behind her until the closed door cuts them off. 

Mack doesn’t breathe the entire ride down the elevator. A numbness comes over her as she tries to convince herself to keep moving forward. She thought she would feel better after doing this. That she was holding them back, him mostly, and cutting the tie would give her back that feeling of freedom she craves. The freedom that he deserves too.

All she feels now is dead inside.

Mack walks out of the building, strutting across the sidewalk with her hand high in the air to hail down a cab. She isn’t sure how her feet are moving so fluidly with how violently she shakes.

“Goodnight, Ms. Hischier.” Philip calls cheerfully behind her.

“Bye!” She calls, waving over her shoulder. She can’t turn around. If she turns around, her feet are going to go right back through that door. 

And she just can’t.

This is not who she is.

She isn’t a WAG. She isn’t a farmer’s girlfriend. She isn’t anywhere close to wife material or a forever kind of girl.

She is a runner. A lone wolf. Who should have taken that elevator home a year ago instead of jumping into bed with her brother-in-law’s teammate. 

The words continue on like a self-deprecating mantra she can’t silence. 

David deserves better. He deserves a wife. Someone who wants to settle into that small country life with him, or in Dallas, and stands next to him through the storm. Not someone who can only see this working if all the cards are stacked in their favor.

Mack, I love you. So much. His voice rings through her brain.

“Fuck.” Mack sobs, shakily trying to breathe in the back of the cab as it pulls away from him. 

Over her heart, her fingers clutch his number on her neck. She pulls, snapping the necklace off her body.

“Ow.” She whispers to herself as her head falls back to the head rest.

If this was what she needed to do, then why does it hurt this damn bad?

Read more Mack and David here.