#why can you stage a whole fucking intervention but u cant just hang out for a little while sometimes
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mental-skillness · 2 months ago
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raisamariannas · 6 years ago
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Cakes & Yogurt
A texting au where Ronan doesn’t hate his phone, Cheng plans too many parties and Noah is worried about Blue.
Henry Cheng to gangsey: Hey lovers
Henry Cheng: I have some thoughts about Ariana Grandes God is a Woman that Id like to share
Ronan Lynch: oh my god
Ronan Lynch: i cant even
Ronan Lynch has left this group.
Blue Sargent to gangsey without Cheng: ronan
Ronan Lynch: no
Blue Sargent: you dont even know what im going to say
Ronan Lynch: call it a guess
Blue Sargent: asshole
Noah Czerny to Richard Gansey: do you think blue would be offended if we staged her an intervention?
Richard Gansey: why does she need an intervention
Noah Czerny: i was helping her clean her room in fox way and i found eight empty yogurt packages in her trash. i think she has an addiction
Richard Gansey: well
Richard Gansey: I think she'd be quite offended, yeah
Richard Gansey: are you willing to risk that
Noah Czerny: no. she kind of scares me
Richard Gansey: well that's just cuz blue is scary
Adam Parrish has added Ronan Lynch to this group
Ronan Lynch to Adam Parrish: traitor
Ronan Lynch: you will regret this parrish
Adam Parrish: Boo fucking hoo
Adam Parrish: I’m trembling in fear
Ronan Lynch: you should be
Ronan Lynch: ill tell everyone your secret
Adam Parrish: What secret?
Adam Parrish: Everyone already knows that I like doing homework
Ronan Lynch: not your boring secrets
Ronan Lynch: juicy ones
Adam Parrish: Never type the word juicy ever again
Ronan Lynch: juicy
Adam Parrish: Oh God
Ronan Lynch: juicy juicy juicy juicy
Adam Parrish: What did I get myself into?
Ronan Lynch: J
Ronan Lynch: U
Ronan Lynch: I
Ronan Lynch: C
Ronan Lynch: Y
Adam Parrish has blocked you
Henry Cheng to Blue Sargent: ronans birthday is coming up
Blue Sargent: vampires dont have birthdays
Henry Cheng: i think we should do a party for him
Blue Sargent: cheng
Blue Sargent: darling
Blue Sargent: its not going to work. ronan will refuse to go and you know that
Blue Sargent: just like you knew last time… and the time before that… and the time before that
Henry Cheng: he cant keep ignoring my parties forever! 
Henry Cheng: this time will make it a surprise so he cant run away!!!!
Henry Cheng: again
Blue Sargent: oh my poor summer child
Ronan Lynch to gangsey: adam uses a grammar app to fixes his texts
Blue Sargent: WHAT
Noah Czerny: oh my god
Richard Gansey: my whole life has been a lie
Henry Cheng: I KNEW IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Henry Cheng: nobody knows the proper use of a semi colon
Henry Cheng: had to be fake
Adam Parrish: HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?
Ronan Lynch: rule number one of keeping a secret parrish
Ronan Lynch: never sleep with a lynch
Adam Parrish: Jesus Christ
Noah Czerny to Richard Gansey: i dont think she ate anything other than yogurt this past week
Richard Gansey: we only need to worry if she starts sweating yogurt
Henry Cheng to gangsey: pizza tonight?????
Adam Parrish: I have a final coming so I need to study
Ronan Lynch: im going to annoy adam while he studies
Blue Sargent: sure!
Richard Gansey: if blue’s going, then im going
Ronan Lynch: hold on
Ronan Lynch: let me barf real quick
Henry Cheng has created the group “Ronan’s 21st birthday bash”
Henry Cheng has added Adam Parrish to this group.
Henry Cheng has added Richard Gansey to this group.
Henry Cheng has added Noah Czerny to this group.
Henry Cheng has added Blue Sargent to this group.
Adam Parrish to Ronan’s 21st birthday bash: I feel like I need to be the first to say
Adam Parrish: This group is a terrible idea.
Henry Cheng: ok...
Henry Cheng: does anyone have declans number?
Blue Sargent to Noah Czerny: im never going grocery shopping with you again
Noah Czerny: what did i do?
Blue Sargent: you removed all of the yogurts from our cart and said it was for my own good
Noah Czerny: it is
Blue Sargent: i will block you
Ronan Lynch to Adam Parrish: can i see you today?
Ronan Lynch: we never hang out
Adam Parrish: I can’t, I’m sorry
Ronan Lynch: why not?
Adam Parrish: I have a meeting with my professor
Ronan Lynch: why does that sound like a lie?
Adam Parrish: Because I’m lying
Ronan Lynch: spill it
Ronan Lynch: what are you actually going to do today?
Adam Parrish: I can’t tell you
Ronan Lynch: thats ridiculous
Ronan Lynch: of course you can
Adam Parrish: They said that if I told you, they’d cut my coca-cola t-shirt into shreds
Ronan Lynch: whos they?
Ronan Lynch: adam
Ronan Lynch: whos they?
Ronan Lynch: ADAM
Adam Parrish: seen at 05:32 p.m.
Ronan Lynch: asshole
Henry Cheng to Richard Gansey: youre on baloon duty
Richard Gansey: i was meant to do this my entire life
Adam Parrish to Ronan’s 21st birthday bash: Ronan is suspecting something is up
Blue Sargent: told you so
Blue Sargent: nothing gets past that boy
Henry Cheng: relax
Henry Cheng: hell just prod around some more and then give up
Richard Gansey: you have too much faith in him
Ronan Lynch to Richard Gansey: what the fuck richard
Richard Gansey: hey wassup
Ronan Lynch: tell me
Ronan Lynch: what are you all hiding?
Richard Gansey: i don’t know what you’re talking about
Ronan Lynch: keep lying to me
Ronan Lynch: just one thing gansey
Ronan Lynch: i know where you live
Richard Gansey: how can you be so scary through a text?
Blue Sargent to Noah Czerny: can you help me pick out the cake tomorrow?
Noah Czerny: ok. you did ask what cheng told you to ask, right?
Blue Sargent: yes
Noah Czerny: blue
Blue Sargent: noah
Noah Czerny: blue!
Blue Sargent: hey he’ll love it alright!
Blue Sargent: its much better than what cheng wanted me to had written
Noah Czerny: what did you had written?
Blue Sargent: "happy birthday, dickhead”
Noah Czerny: BLUE
Ronan Lynch to gangsey: lets hang out tonight
Adam Parrish: i cant
Ronan Lynch: why not?
Adam Parrish: i have to work
Henry Cheng: i cant either
Henry Cheng: i have to organize my clothes
Ronan Lynch: what
Ronan Lynch: who does that?
Richard Gansey: blue and i cant go either
Richard Gansey: we have to make out
Richard Gansey: heavily
Richard Gansey: with each other
Ronan Lynch: you fuckers
Henry Cheng to Ronan’s 21st birthday bash: its tommoooooorrrrrowww
Adam Parrish: Thank God
Adam Parrish: I hate lying to him
Blue Sargent: its so sad seeing him alone
Blue Sargent: i never thought id say this but i want to hug him
Ronan Lynch to gangsey: i hate you
Ronan Lynch: traitors
Ronan Lynch: assholes
Ronan Lynch: ill never talk to any of you again
Blue Sargent: oh who are you kidding
Blue Sargent: you couldnt survive without adam
Ronan Lynch: who could survive without adam, honestly
Henry Cheng: did you like it?
Ronan Lynch: i hated it every second of it
Ronan Lynch: except the cake
Ronan Lynch: i liked what the cake said
Blue Sargent: OH MAN
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