#why are you people making me defend this man who i couldnt care less about. gawd
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oflgtfol ¡ 1 year ago
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like i dislike obi-wan because i think he's overrated and he's the epitome of pretty white boy that the fandom fixates on and ships him with literally every single character in the entire franchise as a form of the roving slash fandom etc. but then seeing people dislike him because like oh he MISTREATED anakin or whatever it's so annoying like how dare you make me want to defend this bland ass white bread milquetoast man
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denkilightning ¡ 3 years ago
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you popped off in my tags and everything you said is right!!! and people will mock gnf fans for defending him when it’s like this is because of you constantly discounting his abilities or dismissing the effort he puts in??? whether it be streaming or just showing up on other people’s streams like ??? also irks me when people call him super immature “he’s 25 but he acts 12” have you seen a 12 year old ever in your life?? feeling very parasocial about him today - (everybodyscupoftea)
oh gosh thank you!!! im glad you like what i said
the worst thing is that its not just like non-gnf stans, its sometimes the fucking gnf pfps that shit on george. ive been actually thinking about this for a long time so apologies if i jump from point to point without clear pacing
the reason why is because george shows a fuckton of autistic/adhd traits. george is a grown man who couldnt care less about when his best friends of years say horrible shit to him so obviously he wont give a fuck about some parasocial fucks who feel entitled to his existence.
but the way this fandom is so fucking casually ableist towards george is out of the fucking roof at this point. like people are less casually ableist towards dream, a person with diagnosed adhd who talked about it multiple times. george doesnt act like a child he acts like an autistic adult. an unapologetic one on top of that. but because george hasnt mentioned anything
and i think thats the problem: people shitting on others for having ND traits is considered completely normal, until the person is diagnosed with something. thats when allistics start to pretend to care. because thats all they do
people found in george their outlet for being absolute pieces of shit with a bunch of emojis for comedic effect slapped on. because george doesnt give a fuck. he will have his own best friend put him in situations where practically anyone else would either start crying or start a really heavy argument and come out completely unbothered.
if youre degrading someone for showing autistic traits, it doesn't fucking matter if the person is autistic or not, youre still a fucking asshole.
george is a record breaker, he puts so much effort in everything he does, and hes one of the kindest creators the internet has seen, but because people have to squash him to a trait list that fits in a sentence, the people chose 'hes pretty but hes a fucking weirdo' and just fucking ignore all the rest. and as an autistic person that really makes me feel fucking unsafe/uncomfortable.
because all that practically-bully behaviour that goes unchecked won't stop on george, it'll just spread on bullying other ND people especially fucking kids and there are very few people with skin as thick as georges
this is probably not the best of my ted talks /lh but thank you all for attention nonetheless
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soopysoap ¡ 4 years ago
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Uh, I read your post about having an 80's au for the foreigen kids. And since I'm a Foreigen kids stan, can you tell me more about it?
HI. ANON? ILY.
They're really just random n messy ideas and i forget how many there are but i'm throwing them all here
so the whole thing takes place in highschool and mainly surrounds the cockswolds cotswolds (mainly mark but rebecca is usually there too)
most of them are seniors, rebecca's a junior
mark is an unpopular nerd, therefore the main character because it's the 80s. so is rebecca but she's not the main character
uhh everyone else is kinda just there
like there are no side characters all the foreign kids are kinda equal focus- wise but the main one is mark i guess
like the leader of their group idk idk
estella is the stereotypical rich popular girl, but she's also a closeted lesbian they're all closeted tbh so she's trying to hide that from her mom. Her mom, instead of being all 'Blah blah blah brrak hearts to fuel my life' or something she's just obsessed with status and how popular Estella is. She's always pleased when Estella has a boyfriend, but it's not often. Basically Estella is more smiley and happy than she usually is, but she's stil usually indifferent. Smiles either when she's genuinely happy or wants something. Most of the time she's deadpan or rolling her eyes
Gaydamien is the rich popular jock, his ego is huge. His dad (since he cant be the son of satan in this one) is the principal of their school. He usually gets what he wants, no matter what. Instead of "You dare [insert something here] to the Prince of Hell????" its that but with "Damien Thorn???" yknow because of his last name. He's been dating Estella to boost his ego, mainly. Doesn't realize he likes guys yet. Estella and Damien hate each other, but everyone believes they're dating because they're too scared to say otherwise. They complain about each other to each other AND to people in private.
Pip is just- he's less of a nerd but more of a kid that's just. There. He isn't nerdy but he definitely isn't popular. At all. He's just a pushover man idk what to tell you. He's usually being bullied. He has a huge crush on Damien, because he got him out of trouble with some other jock like. Once. Always gets giggly around him, it's funny to watch. Also very passive aggressive @ Estella because she's dating him. They have very few classes together, but whenever they do he's always like "hey :) so hows damien" and she responds with "why would i know" and he's like "because??? youre dating him???" and she looks really confused for a second and then is like "OH- Oh yeah okay uh. I don't know. So." and then she starts complaining about him or something and pip is all ":) why not just break up?"
Pip also hates Christophe
Which, speaking of, Christophe is also an annoying egotistical jock who plays football with Damien. Damien and Christophe are best friends. Christophe and Gregory are dating in secret
Gregory is the stereotypical gay kid. No other way to put this. If Ryan Evans from High School Musical had a superiority complex. He's a theatre kid, and takes pride in tha- OH MY GOD. Rachel??? Maybe he's Rachel Berry from Glee??? it would kind of work idk,, ok uh anyway yeah he's always bullied for being openly gay and it sucks but he took defense classes in Yardale (yes he's still a transfer from Yardale, yes he constantly mentions it) so he's able to hold his own. But Christophe usually steps in to get Gregory out of there and tend to his wounds.
Rebeccaaaaaa she's the unpopular girl, just started school and doesnt know shit about it after being homeschooled almost her whole life. Has a little crush on Estella, but Estella "Doesn't" notice her. (Estella just thinks of her as some pretty girl who isnt worth her time) Rebecca usually keeps to herself, is usually gossiped about. Estella never gets involved, but whenever she'd get asked about it, instead of defending Rebecca she just says "I hardly believe any of the rumors. She was homeschooled, not taught in witchcraft or satanisim. Or whatever else everyone's saying. Everyone should really calm themselves, if they were so worried about what people thought of them when Rebecca started going here then they should get that in order first before ruining Rebecca's social life. God. You all have to grow up." So, not necessarily a defense but also not an insult. Rebecca still finds it sweet.
Mark is a neerrrrrrd 80s main character. Minus the popular love interest and yearning 😩 And also if the main character had a god/superiority complex.. he's bullied the most other than Gregory, mostly by Damien n Christophe. Girls don't like him, guys don't like him, he really only had Pip and Rebecca for a while. Pip because he's overly nice to almost everyone and wanted to befriend Mark immediately. Usually during lunch Mark sits with Pip and Rebecca. Mark has to hear about Damien all the time from Pip though, so that's annoying.
Uh I know that Pocket is TECHNICALLY a foreign kid but idk shit about him and dont really think about him but he's Estella's cousin and often hangs out with her since he doesn't really have a friend group. He's also really good friends with Pip. BUT since this is a horror au he dies off early
After theyre all friends some stuff happens yada yada yada Gaymien realizes he's pan and has a crush on Pip, Estella takes Rebecca out for a makeover , Christophe gets severely injured because this is a horror au as well, Damien and Pip make out at some point-
Estella and Rebecca both know that theyre Lesbians but they refuse to admit that they like each other
Kinda thinking of this as if it was stranger things or something so i definitely want there to be like... a series of bad events. everyone thinks everythings cool and fine and whatever and there are moments where our group kinda just get to chill n' be kids. idk i just want there to be a falling out in the group and then they all realize they need each other or something dumb like that
also for some fun chill moments we can have estella and rebecca walking around holding hands and laughing n' stuff bc they love each other idk idk
and after the falling out when they all join together again estella is the first to see some scary stuff but she was also the first to drop everyone except damien and christophe (because of her mother) and so she blames herself and doesnt think she can go to them and just has to deal with it on her own
eventually she tells damien who immediately tells pip who immediately wants to get the group together again
everyone's (the cockswolds) are reluctant to hang out again because of the way they were just forgotten so easily, but they go anyway. because of the horror stuff. they both are pissed at estella though
at some point estella gets badly hurt and rebecca saves her and starts nursing her back to health
estella: why are you... why are you doing this. dont you hate me?
rebecca: i'm doing it because i actually care for you, idiot.
estella: i care for you i just... couldnt...
rebecca: what? spend time with a lowlife like me?
estella: you know thats not what i meant-
they go on like that for a little while longer until they wind up confessing to each other "Because I love you! Is that so fucking hard to believe?!" Would be rebecca's and Estella's would probably be "I don't hate you! You're my favorite person, and I hated having to stop hanging out with you! I love you, okay?!" it would be :) fun
damien and estella come out to each other first. well- damien doesnt really come out he just tells her how confused he is and they hug it out and estella tells him she's a lesbian and they both talk a little while longer and decide that breaking up would be the best idea
thats all i've really figured out for sure,, i have some more ideas but this is. a lot already so. i'm just gonna stop before i write too much 👉👉 anyway, anon ily ty for this. also sidenote: the horror stuff has to do with weird sacrificial cults. i know i have nothing for that and really only talked about how everything starts and drama instead of the interesting stuff but 🥴 i have no defense i just love my kids ok drama is fun
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faemen ¡ 3 years ago
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WAIT YOU DONT LIKE MIKAN OR KAITO HOW
thank you for asking! not sorry for the rambles!
tw mikan, kaito, chiaki, kaede, kokichi slander and spoilers for sdr2 and v3 under cut!
first of all, look. im not a terrible person and i know mikans backstory and literally everything but i STILL cannot fucking stand her. but unlike SOME PEOPLE im not gonna MAKE FUN OF HER TRAUMA and things.
i know she has her reasons but honestly her constant apologizing bothered me to no end and i know for a lot of people, once they saw her smile they fell in love or something, but instead i felt gross and wished she would stop. her voice is irritating too. ugh everyone makes me feel bad for hating her since i KNOW she has her reasons but i cannot. stand people like that shes so annoying and clingy and ughhh. also i get way too many requests for her constantly and i never liked her in the first place. too much fan service as well
kaito? fuck that dude legitimately! i dont even like maki all that much but it really irked me when he kept on downplaying her like that. and punching shuichi after he just WATCHED SOMEONE DIE? yes, i do think saimatsu went wayyyy too quickly to actually be meaningful, but she fucking died bc he pointed it out! anyone would cry why would you say he needs to man up tf?????? and also with joe being the exception, best friend bro type characters who cant take a hint fucking. i cannot deal with them at all bc i have too many irl who'll latch onto me and think im lonely when im alone on purpose.
i hate doing pushups and i hate this guys attitude and although i never played his chapter it honestly wouldnt have affected me at all. hes annoying and clingy and you can tell me how hes smart bc of his ultimate and that hes sexist and homophobic bc of who he was raised by but i literally dont care. its the way he acts for me. why is he even so liked i LITERALLY dont get it. he wasted his aesthetic too tf
anyways have some more bonus rants since youve activated me
chiaki. yes, yes i know that anime her and game her are different bc of her being an ai and stuff. guess what? i dont care. you can try and defend your favourites all you want, but seriously. chances are i know more than you. anyways i hated how we were supposed to care about her dying in game when all she did was kinda stand around and be helpful ig. she was way too bland and nice for me. i wont go as far as to call her a mary sue, but shes just. bleh. blehhh i dont care about chiaki at all i cannot connect to this sleepy gamer girl in any form. her execution and aesthetic are cool from a design pov but yeah. in anime form she was actually worse imo! bc in game she didnt really randomly be loved and adored by everyone, while she was way too nice. also once again WAY TOO MANY CHIAKI REQUESTS I SWEAR
kaede! you mightve been able to tell this by now but i do not like people who push friendship onto me and thats literally ALL kaede did. while valid and i dont really care about either of the characters involved, i have a personal vendetta against saimatsu bc it felt like a romance movie with how fucking QUICKLY it developed in a GODDAMN death game. if some blonde girl started talking about how shes gonna end a killing game id boot it out of there SO QUICk not stare lovingly into her eyes as we hold hands. her though, other than that bit, i do think she was killed off way too quick and she had a lot of potential. her story is cool from a writers perspective, as with the thing where she was trying to help by being positive but ended up making things worse. but she really severely overestimated herself. and from a fans pov? i fucking hate positive characters who try to make me positive. let me be a grumpy bastard in peace
KOKICHI mkay i like the other antags bc they have actual reasons but kokichi just exists to be a fucking clown. i do not like him i hate sharing a birthday and a height with him and i DO NOT GET. THE FANS. AT ALL? what is there to like? hes an annoying little bitch who wont stop laughing. OKAY BUT ONCE AGAIN. from a writers pov hes really underdeveloped bc while i appreciate his role in the story, and his morally grey character that is willing to do a lot for the greater good, his motivations do... not make sense? whatsoever? we dont know anything about his backstory PLEASE for the LVOE OF GOD stop calling him your uwu gay pg panta yandere boy. there is nothing to defend at all. yes he has a major impact on the plot but guess what. as a fans pov i literally couldnt care less. and for the final time PLEASE GET YOUR SOFTCORE PINK KOKICHI STUFF ELSEWHERE i am going to EXPLODE
thank you again!!!!!!!! and yeah blablabla youre valid for liking them just dont attack me or try to change my opinion. thanks.
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orchidbreezefc ¡ 5 years ago
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OKAY COOL I WAS ON THE FENCE ABOUT POSTING MY OWN EXPERIENCES IN THE KFAM DISCORD BECAUSE A POST ABOUT People Being Mean To Sage Specifically SEEMED KIND OF MASTURBATORY OR SELF-PITYING OR WHATEVER BUT IF WE REALLY ARE GOING TO STILL BE OUT HERE PUSHING THE This Server Is A Lovely Familial Community And Dissenters Are The Problem NARRATIVE EVEN NOW? HELL NO. ABSOLUTELY NOT.
obviously this is hard to be objective about. this stuff is a lot less concrete than my first post, a lot more based on vibes i got, which, yknow, is why it’s not in my first post. but if anyone identifies with this, if anyone sees their own experiences in this discord reflected in mine, then it’s going to be worth the worry i’m reading too much into things, or others thinking the same of me. if i can help anyone who felt like THEY were mistreated there and weren’t sure if they were reading too much into things, then. it’s worth it. especially since the M.O. in there was ‘everything’s fine and if not we’re going to MAKE IT FINE by silencing anyone who disagrees’.
a lot of talk has been done about the censorship (word used loosely, first amendment protects from the government not from the mods etc, definitely a specific suppression of dissenting ideas though) the mods have been doing--once more i suggest @kfam-tea for receipts and screenshots. not something i feel great about, but not something i have personal experience with, so i won't speak to it. see also my first post about my interactions with the creators. it touches on the dogpiling, which i'll go into more depth on in this post. you can find it [link: here].
so. the first thing in the official discord that tipped me off about the hivemind samethink phenomenon is that the whole place is distinctly frosty on the subject of samben. that’s a post all its own, one that follows through to numbers on ao3 and whatever, but i’m not here to make a ship manifesto. suffice it to say i got attached to the ship upon listening, inhaled the (suspiciously small) ao3 tag, and was stopped in my tracks at the discord server where any implication of such ship inclinations were met with silence and pointed changes of subject.
distinctly weird. distinctly unusual fandom behavior, that i couldnt even hint around shipping the two men whose incredibly profound relationship is literally the crux of the show, who have exchanged ‘i love you’s, one of whom is confirmed gay--all other romantic entanglements aside, because when have those stopped shippers? that was weird. i realize that's maybe a bit tinfoil hat of me. it could have been the goldfish-bowl big-brother-is-watching vibe from having creators in there, except, as i said, it carries to other sites.
anyway, much more concrete was when i spoke out about my thoughts on ben’s actions in ep68. again, enough there for another post, so tl;dr: he was doing his best, he’s a good guy and a good friend, but his actions DIRECTLY outed sammy to the WHOLE town, without allowing sammy to say the words himself. it was an accident, yes, but it had tangible, harmful consequences, and even accidental harm warrants apology. it should at least be... acknowledged. at some point. by the show OR the fandom. it's a disservice to ben himself to never get the chance to own up to it.
this was an unacceptable take. i tried breaching this topic and making my case twice, and got THOROUGHLY dogpiled both times. a dozen fans crawled out of the woodwork to argue heatedly, sometimes getting quite aggressive, sometimes toeing the line of outright hostility toward me personally. definitely some downright rude messages. not once did anybody speak up to defend my right to put forward my dissenting opinion, let alone SUPPORT my argument, god forbid. ben’s were the actions of a good friend, i was told. outing someone to their whole town without giving them the chance to say it on their own terms didn't qualify as harm at all, i was told, on account of ben's heart being in the right place.
still, the opinions being argued matter less than the attitudes and behaviors. people don't have to agree with me about that ep, i don't care. i do care about being given the right to, as a single person on my own, have space to make an argument without being shouted down by a dozen people. i do care about how it fit into a greater pattern of forbidding any criticism of the show, and ben in particular, who is a good friend and therefore all of his actions are good and harmless, who is our resident heterosexual unassailable paragon of purity. which might explain the samben problem--sammy/ron[/jack] was perfectly fine, even popular, but there was never a whisper of shipping ben with anyone but emily. they're Official. theyre The Perfect Couple. don't you dare challenge that (and for the most part, i didn’t dare. i quickly learned not to).
my [link: previous post] details kyle's response to these fun events, where he specifically went out of the way to follow me being shouted into silence (a result of me being driven to literal tears and shutting down rather than invite more argument) with a warm congratulations to everybody for their conduct in this discussion. because that's the kind of conversation kyle wants to specifically and explicitly praise and encourage, i guess.
anyway. this contributed to the growing sense over my time in the discord that people held a certain distaste for me but didn’t want to say anything direct. instead they talked around me, ignored me, immediately changed the subject from my messages, the whole while bestowing constant glowing compliments on each other and endlessly repeating saccharine sentiments about what a nice family type community they were, how grateful they were for the discord being such a positive space. i suppose that’s an easy impression to get when negativity is ruthlessly suppressed (and apparently outright censored nowadays) and instead of insults or, god forbid, communication with people with whom folks might take issue, they just (more or less) silently stonewall and cold shoulder them.
again, i could be misreading cues, being egocentric or tinfoil hat by reading this pattern into how i in particular was treated. either way, the fact that i was given the fandom friday shout out the week after KFAM live was definitely... strange. fishy, even. i was already mostly out the door at that point, had been for weeks--it was actually in my last few days speaking there period. i felt strangely guilty that they would dedicate a day to me when i didn’t like being there much and hardly spoke any longer. one thing’s for sure: my congratulations were fewer and more impersonal, perfunctory, and/or generic than other fans got (i kept a screenshot). i still have no idea what to make of that one, but there you have it.
p.s.: since vagues are in vogue now apparently, i might as well mention the person who's been accused of being A Problem In The Discord For A While Now, among nastier things, which definitely is not an effort to justify kyle's passive aggressive response to their untagged post which used the phrase 'death of the author', or kyle subsequently crying on twitter about death threats because apparently he couldn't be bothered to google a basic literary analysis term and thought if he was vague enough nobody would look into what was actually said. i guess he was right, if the hundreds of asspats and outcries against The Evils Of Podcast Fan Meanies were any indication.
i digress. i just wanted to testify that the fan in question was one of maybe three or four people on the server who consistently treated me nicely and acted like they liked me. and that another fan who claimed to be uncomfortable around death-of-the-author-person was the person who came the closest to being outright nasty to me when i expressed a critical opinion. make of that what you will i guess!
p.p.s.: if i never say anything more about this whole thing or the creators’ part in it, i do want to say for the record: noah james is fully exempt from all of this and remains absolutely wonderful and a whole treasure. like dont pedestalize male creators and assume them incapable of wrongdoing etc etc but i had an hour long midnight denny’s breakfast sitting across from him and he was nothing short of an angel the whole time. sweetest guy i’ve ever met. he hasn’t breathed a word about any of this drama. he may not even know it’s going on because he’s too busy being the most beautiful and talented man in america or something. i love you noah
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willow-salix ¡ 4 years ago
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Isolation update! Big thanks to @hodgehegposts for the prompt and fun chats.
Day 67 of Isolation on Tracy Island and today I learnt that the Tracy’s and I have totally different ideas of how to protect ourselves.
Some of us were watching a movie and some of us, namely Kayo, were attacking everyone stupid enough to go near enough. 
“Arghhh,” Gordon screamed as he flew backwards and landed on his butt with a bone rattling bump.
“Who’s next?” she asked, beckoning us forward.
Alan rubbed his butt in remembered pain and shook his head.
Kayo looked at Scott.
“Nope, I’m secure enough in my masculinity to know that it's not a good idea to go up against you.”
“John?” 
“Erm, let me think...no.”
Virgil was on the upper level, headphones on, totally in the zone while he painted and we all knew that nothing would get him to move bar an emergency call and that wasn't likely to happen any time soon.
She looked at me.
“Nope, don’t even think about it. I don’t know anything about your fancy moves, I’m no karate kid.”
“You don't know any self defence at all?” Scott asked.
I shrugged. “Well, I know enough to protect myself in a packed bar, does that count?”
Apparently it didn't, because less than ten minutes later I had been wrestled into my workout gear and was standing on the mats in the gym.
“I don't have a good feeling about this,” John muttered to Scott.
“Nonsense, she needs to learn, it’s important she can defend herself if the need arises. Do you want her getting hurt because she doesn't know how to take down an assailant?”
“Of course not, but it’s her.”
“True.”
“I can hear you both, you know!”
“Busted,” Scott whispered to John, who sighed, knowing he was very likely to get yelled at for that later. And he would be right.
“Don’t listen to them, don’t let them put you off, you can do this,” Kayo encouraged me. “You can’t be that bad, you must know something. You said you could defend yourself in a packed bar, so lets start there, show me your moves.”
“I don’t really have a set of moves, I kinda just make it up on the fly,” I admitted, ignoring Scott's snort of amusement and John’s groan of disbelief.
“We can work with that, on the fly is what we do best. Scott?”
“Yeah?”
“Attack her, grab her from behind.”
“I dont think so.”
“John, you do it then.”
“I value certain parts of my anatomy.”
“Gordon?”
“Sure, I’ll do it, what's the worst that could happen?”
John actually laughed at that, he knew never to annoy me.
“No, I don’t want to hurt anyone,” I said, backing away.
“You couldnt hurt me, don’t worry. I’m just gonna grab you and all you have to do is break my hold.”
“You sure?” I asked. “I fight dirty.”
“So do bad guys,” Kayo laughed.
“I can take it,” Gordon assured me.
“OK,” I shrugged and turned around for him to grab me.
“Just do what you would do in a crowded bar and someone grabbed you,” Scott instructed.
I nodded.
Gordon waited a few seconds and then grabbed me, one arm around my chest, another around my waist.
I didn't bother struggling, I leant closer.
“Hey, Sailor, oh, you’re strong. Are you single? Because I’ve got four kids at home that desperately need a daddy. You don’t have a fear of commitment do you? Because I feel like we could have something really special, you know? Do you feel it too? This special thing between us? Wanna get marrie-”
“I’m out!” Gordon dropped me like I was a hot potato.
I turned around, waiting for my praise.
Scott cracked up laughing, almost falling over, only his grip on John’s shoulder keeping him upright? 
“That’s what you do in a bar?” John asked in utter disbelief. “You’re never going out alone again.”
“What if your attacker isn't some creep in a bar, what if he’s following you home and jumps you in an alleyway?” Alan asked.
“Why would I be in an alleyway?”
“He could grab you and drag you in,” Scott answered, finally gaining control of himself and managing to stand on his own.
“Who’d want me?” I argued. “I’d open my mouth and he’d run away in fear.”
“Truth,” Gordon muttered.
“Grab her again,” Kayo ordered.
“Do I have to?”
“I’ll do it,” Scott sighed, stepping up to the bat.
“So no words, just fight? Anything goes?”
“Yep, fight like your life depends on it,” Kayo instructed.
“Sorry,” I told Scott in preparation for kicking his butt.
“Don’t be,” he scoffed. “Do your worst.”
I started walking.
“Oh, look at me, an innocent-” 
John snorted. I ignored him.
“-unarmed girl, all alone on this dark, dark street. It would be so terrible if someone was to grab me right about now...”
Scott struck, looping his arm around my neck and another around my waist. 
I went limp and he fumbled to catch me, seizing the opportunity I lifted my foot and stamped down on his toes.
“Oww, dammit!” 
Not giving a second I slammed my elbow into his stomach and jumped, smacking the top of my head into his chin. When he let go to grab his chin I spun round and went for his chest, grabbing and twisting.
“She went for the nipple cripple!” Alan screamed in delight as Scott screamed in pain.
I let go and dragged him into a hug. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, you told me to fight!”
Scott accepted the hug, still whimpering pathetically.
“I said I was sorry, you know I love you!” I stroked his head getting a handful of gel which I sneakily wiped on his shirt when I patted his back.
“At least she kept it above waist height,” John commented.
“Well, that was…” Kayo started.
I waited. 
“Unorthodox and creative, but a woman wouldn't fight like that. Care to take me on?”
“Sure,” I shrugged. Nothing like taking down the big bro to give you a little confidence..
“Show me how you’d take on a female attacker.”
“Give me a second!” I stuck my hand in John’s pocket and retrieved the hairband I kept there for emergencies and tied my hair back.
“OK, I’m ready. Come at me!”
Kayo launched at me and I was immediately on the defensive. I head back, hands up, nails like claws.
“What are you doing?” Gordon asked.
“Cat fight, baby!”
“Cat fight?” Alan whispered to John who shrugged.
“Your hair looks awful today and those pants make your butt look huge!” I yelled at her.
“What?” she paused before aiming a punch my way but I screamed in her face and ducked, making her jump.
“Those boots give you cankles!” I kicked her in the shin and she yelped, hopping on one foot for a second, rubbing her leg.
I scrambled to my feet and grabbed her by the ponytail, yanking hard.
“Get off!” she yelled trying to spin out of my grip.
I let go and literally kicked her butt. I never go for the back, go for the butt, they never expect it. The sole of my foot hit her square on the cheeks and she stumbled in shock. That was my cue. I leapt on her back, screaming my best Xena impression, throwing all my weight on her, riding her down to the floor. I wound her hair around my fist and leaning all my weight on her shoulders, I pinned her down.
“That is not how bad guys fight!” she yelled, squirming.
“No, it's how London girls fight. I take it you’ve never been in a drunken cat fight with someone who thinks you stole her lipstick? You’re just lucky I didn't unleash my claws and go for the eyes, or smash your face into the floor.”
I got up off her back and helped her up.
“That was dirty,” she scowled at me. “I do not have cankles.”
“I did warn you all.”
“What are cankles?” John asked Alan, who shrugged.
“You don’t have a big butt either,” I promised her. “I was just trash talking.”
“Can you girls do that again?” Gordon asked, grinning at us. “Maybe have a pillow fight too?”
Kayo and I didnt dignify that with an answer.
“I think it’s time we teach you some basics,” John insisted.
“You still don’t believe I can take care of myself?” I huffed, folding my arms.
“Oh we know you can, but just in case you aren't attacking drunk people-”
“Hey! They always attack me first!”
“You still need to learn some real self defense,” Scott finished for him.
“Real self defence? How are your moobs, my man?”
“Oww, you’re mean when you fight,” Gordon accused.
“I...I do not have moobs!” he turned away, anxiously smoothing his hand over his pecs, just to be sure.
“Yeah, OK supermodel, you’re out of here,” Kayo ordered. “You guys too. We’re gonna start running through some basics. So, unless you want to be the attacker again, I suggest you get going.”
They got gone.
It was easier without them there and Kayo is actually a really good teacher. One day I might even be able to fight off a bad guy without resorting to a crotch shot. A girl can dream.
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lexinthelibraryofdreams ¡ 6 years ago
Text
Enemies To Lovers
Imagine:  Friends/Enemies to lovers
Pairing: Theseus Scamander x Reader
Words: 3667
A/N: Week two, day six of the Leather and Lace + You Keep Me Warm Romance Event. Did this get out of hand? Yes. Do I care? Barely. Hope you enjoy. If anyone wants to request a character, feel free to do so :)
Warnings: none, I believe. If you want me to add anything, feel free to tell me :)
#
The first time you met Theseus Scamander, you immediately hated him. In your opinion, he wasn’t suited to be the head of your department and from the first meeting on he seemed to return your feelings. You barely left the office, stuck to your neck in paperwork he assigned to you. 
The more time went on, the more he seemed to ignore your requests to actually hire a secretary if he wanted one and allow you to do your job. You were getting frustrated with your job but were also too prideful to quit, which you assumed was what he wanted. 
#
“Sir,” you greeted him after entering his office with the finished reports again. He didn’t even bother looking up and you closed your eyes for a moment to center yourself. With more force than necessary, you put down the stack of papers on his desk. “Look, if you won’t even bother to greet me, at least don’t insist on having me deliver the reports personally. Then you don’t have to ignore me.”  You knew how disrespectful you sounded but you were past caring. He wouldn’t get rid of you unless he would forcibly remove you from the office.
Now he looked up. You only stared back, setting your jaw stubbornly. “I do not appreciate you tone, Miss Y/L/N,” was the only thing he said and you had to mentally hold back to not hex him. Straightening your back, you replied, “Well, I do not appreciate being degraded to your secretary when I should be out there and support my colleagues in the field. I know that I have the skills to perform the tasks of an actual auror, so I don’t see why you insist on holding me in the office.” He reached forward and took the papers you had brought him. “It is my decision to make who to send out and who to keep back. If you wish to keep your position, do not question my decisions any further,” he replied, the waved towards you. “You are dismissed.” A part of you wanted to argue but instead you abruptly turned on you heel and exited the office, throwing the door close in your anger. You ignored the few eyes on you as you made your way back to your desk. The few people that were actually here and not on the hunt for Grindelwald and his followers weren’t benched like you, they simply finished off reports from missions. Reports that would inevitably end up on your desk the next morning. One day you would probably snap and light them on fire the instance they arrived. 
#
A woman entered the office but you ignored her presence. At least, you tried until she stepped up to your desk. Hesitantly you looked up with a blank look, trying to look as busy and interrupted as you could. “Do you need anything?” you asked, not bothering with a greeting. You had seen her before, she was part of some other department in the Law Enforcement. She seemed to be friends with Scamander, considering they often spent their breaks with each other.
Now she looked down on you with an unreadable expression. “Could you ask Mr Scamander if he has time? I wanted to talk to him.” You raised an eyebrow at her. “Sorry, Lady, but I’m not his bloody secretary. He just punishes me for existing with having to read over reports he is too busy for. Someday he’ll probably ask for a coffee. For all I care, he could burst into flames right now and I wouldn’t be bothered at all. Anything else?”
She looked a little taken aback at your hostility towards your boss but only thanked you and wordlessly retreated to his office. 
#
Later you learned that the woman was none other than Leta Lestrange, his fiancĂŠe. That outburst would probably fall back onto you but you were past caring.
#
“Y/L/N,” he said, approaching your desk. You plastered on a sweet smile and waited for him to ask whatever he wanted. “Go get your coat, you’re accompanying me.” It was almost embarrassing how quickly you got to your feet, slipping into your coat and following him wordlessly. Though you wondered what caused the sudden change but you wouldn’t test your luck with asking about it.
In the lobby you met up with several other aurors, the head of the Department of Law Enforcement and - of course - Leta Lestrange. You only gave her a semi-politely nod before listening to Travers. 
After the short briefing, you followed them outside and disapparated. The bridge leading to the castle was still like you remembered it and a nostalgic feeling welled up inside you. Your happiest memories all were bundled in the place but you knew you weren’t here for fun.
#
Interrogating Dumbledore went as well as you expected. He stayed polite but passive, not wanting to join the war that was inevitably coming. Or maybe it was already waging, it was hard to tell with how blurred the lines were. 
As you turned to leave, he called out to both you and Scamander. You were at the door already, looking at him expectantly. He warned you, should Grindelwald call for his followers to assemble, that you shouldn’t interrupt. 
On your way to the bridge, you walked next to Scamander, both of you silent. You admired Dumbledore for defending his point despite the pressure against him. You looked at your boss who seemed lost in thought. “Will you follow his advice?” He shrugged lightly. “I don’t know yet.”  You met up with the others again. It occurred to you that that was literally the first conversation between you without any malice behind it. Admittedly, it felt good.
#
Your next stop was Paris. Despite the urgency of the situation, you looked around to take in at least some of the sights. “First time in Paris?” Scamander asked suddenly and you looked at him before nodding. There still were more negative feelings between one another but since your visit in Hogwarts, you offered a less hostile stand, being more passive in your dislike of him.  If he noticed it, he didn’t comment on it.
#
“Where’s Scamander?” Travers asked and you only shrugged. “Why does everybody expect I know where he is at any given time? I’m not his secretary,” you replied, a little on the edge because even Travers was under the impression.  At least he looked more bewildered than offended by your harshness, then ordered for you to go and find him. You tried your hardest not to roll your eyes and trailed off to search and ask around.
In the end you found him locked in a room and tied to a chair. “Mr Scamander, what a coincidence to meet you here,” you said, leaning against the doorframe. When he stopped struggling to look up, you couldn’t hide a gleeful grin. “Looks like you’re in some kind of situation. Once you’re done here, Travers is searching for you.”  You turned around to leave, when you heard him struggle some more. “Y/L/N, wait!” he called out and you feigned hesitation. A heavy sigh sounded from behind you, followed by a “Please. I need your help.”
When you faced him again, you wore a big smile. “Really? I wouldn’t have noticed. I mean you normally got everything under control.” He made a face at you. “What do you want so no one will hear about this?” You raised an eyebrow at him and decided to test your luck. “An explanation and for you to get an actual secretary, so I can finally do my job. Maybe, if you’re feeling generous, even an apology but I’m not greedy.”
He sighed again, looking defeated. “It was your father. When he resigned, he requested for you be kept off the field. I know you’re more than capable but he is a scary and influential man, even if he has retired and I did not want to risk my career for that.” He paused and you thought about it. It made sense. Still, he did not have to be so unpleasant about it.  “I’m sorry,” he added and he seemed to mean it. You exhaled, then waved your wand and the rope fell to the ground. “Thank you for being honest. Though I’m still kind of angry you wouldn’t have told me without blackmail. That’s not a good way to keep up a professional relationship.” He stood up and straightened out his jacket. “I know. And I meant it when I apologize. I’ll try to be more open about your father’s requests in the future.”
“Appreciated,” you replied and followed him back to Travers.
#
You had tried to remind him Dumbledore’s words but he had just waved it off. “If you don’t think you can handle it, stay here,” he had said and you adamantly shook your head.
Now you stood there, watching in horror as blue flames devoured colleagues in front of you. Even though you were standing at a good distance to it, you could feel the burning heat on your exposed skin as if you were standing in it. Screaming from one side caught your attention and you saw Scamander as he tried to get to his fiancée. His brother was by his side, trying to drag him away from the flames when they burned the woman to ash. He was screaming and fighting against the grip, so you bolted down the stairs and grabbed him by the arm. “There is nothing you can do Scamander. We have to leave. Don’t let her sacrifice be a lost cause!” you yelled at him and that seemed to get to him a little. You made it out of the mausoleum barely as blue flames burst through the openings and burned everything in their path. Your hand was still wrapped around his upper arm when you were joined by an old, sickly looking wizard.
The circle around the graveyard was quickly formed and once you claimed your position, you drove your wand into the ground with a yell. A golden line formed on the ground and you watched as the flames were encased by the ward and orange flames until they were dragged into the building and finally snuffed out.
#
You stood next to your boss on the bridge as you watched his brother talk to Dumbledore. “He was right,” the man said and you looked at him. It was one of the few things he had said after watching Leta die and even though you still didn’t really like him, even you would try to be nice. “What do you mean?” He gestured towards Dumbledore. “He warned us. You were there. You tried to remind me but I brushed it off because Travers told me so. We never should have entered that mausoleum.” You hesitated, then placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. “I did warn you but even I couldn’t have imagined that. It wasn’t your fault. She made her own decisions.” You looked out towards Hogwarts. So many students behind the wall didn’t know what had happened only hours ago. Since the obscurial joined Grindelwald, you wouldn’t even deem this place safe and there was hardly anything better protected. “A lot will change, I suppose,” he said, following your gaze. You hummed in agreement, then added, “A lot already has.”
Your little group disbanded, one by one of those that were left walking past the wards and vanishing into thin air. You turned to follow and to your surprise he fell into step next to you. “What are you going to do now?” he asked, hands shoved into his pockets and eyes focused on the stones below them. You shrugged. “Get some rest. Grief those we lost. And when it is called for, fight. That means, if I’m allowed to leave the office now, sir,” you replied and noticed the ghost of a smile cross his lips.
“I can hardly bench my best auror now, can I?” he said and you gave him a firm smile before disapparating.
#
The next time you stepped into the office, it had changed. Some tables had been cleared which tightened a knot in your stomach. Another desk had been set up before Scamander’s office. A woman was sitting at it, avidly reading over some papers. She looked up and gave you an easy smile as you approached. “Ah, you must be Miss Y/L/N. I’m Priscilla Selpie, Mr Scamander’s new secretary and assistant. He asked me to send you inside once you were here.”
You thanked her with a nod and a smile then entered after knocking. “So you actually listened to me,” you said instead of greeting him and he looked up. “Good morning to you, too. And you actually still don’t care for politeness.” He rounded his desk and leaned against it. You doubted that he had slept much since your return from Paris, judging from his messy hair, his pale face and the very noticeable bags under his eyes. Even his suit jacket had creases where they didn’t belong, completely untypical.
“You know, maybe you should listen to another advice of mine and try to take some time off. You just lost someone, it is understandable,” you said and he shook his head. “I got restless at home. It was bad. This way I can keep busy and distract myself. And try to find the man who is behind all of this.” You looked at the picture of Leta Lestrange on his desk and he followed your gaze. “You hated her, didn’t you? At least, that’s what she thought.” Now it was your time to shake your head. “No, I hated you. I felt really more indifferent towards her than anything else. Admittedly, I was wondering a little how she could love an ass like you but now that I’ve seen some other sides of you... She seems less of a lunatic and more of a normal woman with a type.”
A fond smile crossed his face. “So, hated? Past tense?” You rolled your eyes at him. “That does not mean that I like you, Scamander but... let’s just say that my feelings towards you are neutral. I hope that’s enough for now.” Still, your tone wasn’t harsh. You did have more than enough time to think about what happened and what he told you and in the end he was deemed potentially likeable. Maybe, in the near future, you could even become friends.
He looked at you for a moment, then nodded. “For now.”
#
And friends you did become. It was two years after the graveyard and you knew that he wouldn’t have it easy today. You greeted Priscilla who smiled at you cheerily and entered the office without knocking. “Alright, Scamander, time for dinner.” Even though he had asked you along the way to use his first name, you refused to do so, just because of how much it annoyed him. Still, it was different than before, spoken with at least 40% more fondness and 75% less irritation. Of course, those numbers varied from day to day.
He didn’t look up. “I’m not really in the mood for dinner” You didn’t bother and forcibly closed the book he was reading, staring down at him. “Well, then you better get in the mood quickly because we are going. You have no say in that. I’m not going to let you gloom in your office for the rest of your day only to end it with a bottle of bourbon. I watched that last year.” He leaned back and rubbed across his neck, clearly tense from looking down the entire time. “I don’t see you barge into my brother’s house to invite him to dinner,” he replied and you raised your eyebrows at him. “Well, Newt has a friend and a nice American lady by his side, so he doesn’t need me but you do, so get up before I hex you.” He reluctantly did, whether because of your reasoning or your threat was unsure but irrelevant.
He followed you out the building and towards a cozy muggle restaurant close to the ministry. “Why aren’t we going somewhere... uh...” You grinned as he struggled with finding the right word, then interrupted him. “Because you need a break from magic and everything that comes with it. So we’ll eat at a muggle place.”
#
Despite his original hesitation, he seemed to enjoy both the food and the surroundings. Afterwards, you insisted on taking a walk. He walked beside you for a while without saying anything. “I should probably go home... I don’t want to bother you for longer.” You gave him a pointed look and he almost helplessly lifted his shoulders. “Scamander, I already said I’m not going to let you drink your sorrow away. At least not alone. Now come one, I have some drinks at my place.” You offered him your arms and when he put his hand on it, apparated you both to your place. He looked around, the first time he set foot into your flat.
“Take a seat,” you offered and he sat down on your sofa while you retrieved the bourbon and two glasses, placing them on the coffee table and filling them.
#
In the end, he slept on your sofa after pouring his heart out to you in a less-than-sober state. Whatever he had told you, you would keep it to yourself, you decided.
#
On the third anniversary you repeated it. Again, he stayed on your sofa for the night and you woke him up the next morning with a strong coffee. He sat at you dinner table while you prepared some breakfast and seemed to watch you. “How personal did I get?” he asked after a while and you laughed a little. “Even more than last time.” You watched him for a moment before returning your attention to the food in front of you.
He had told you how he wanted to move on but still felt guilty about it. That he knew he couldn’t stay like this forever but that he didn’t want to disappoint or forget her, let alone give off the feeling he wanted to replace her. Then you hadn’t said much with real essence but now you wanted to do so. Still, you couldn’t think of the exact words. And a while ago, another issue had occurred.
Finally you could understand how Leta could have love an ass like him.
#
You entered his office and put the mug down on his desk. “I thought you could use a coffee. This mission was hell.” It wasn’t the first time you did field work but surely the hardest. Or at least second hardest. Nothing would ever trump Paris. At least you hoped it wouldn’t. He took the coffee and sipped on it before thanking you.
“Anything you want?” he asked and you shook your head, leaning against his desk sideways to watch what he was doing. “I finished the report and handed it over to Priscilla. You should take a break. If you continue to squint at the paper like that you’ll get wrinkles or need glasses. Or both. Probably both.” He gave you a tired smile and stretched a little before standing up and joining you on the other side of the desk. His elbow bumped into yours as he took another sip.
“You are always worrying about me,” he teased and you laughed. “Someone has to. You’re clearly not doing it.” He smiled and now intentionally bumped his elbow into your side. Both of you quickly sobered up, then he spoke again. “You know, I’ve been thinking a lot lately. We started out literally hating each other and now... never would have imagined that when we first met.” You nodded, smiling into your mug. “Likewise. But I don’t mind this at all.”
He hummed and you could see from the corner of your eye that he was watching you. “Can I help you with something?” You put your mug down on the desk and looked at him. His expression seemed clouded for a moment, then he leaned forward. You unintentionally held your breath but he stopped and pulled back, then turned away. “Sorry. I’m... I just...” he sighed and you put your hand on his which was gripping the edge of the desk hard. “I know. It’s okay. I understand.” He turned around only to look at you with surprise written on his face. “How do you... wait... the anniversary?” You nodded and gave him a warm smile. “Take your time, Theseus. I won’t go anywhere.” This time, you used his first name intentionally.
Now you leaned forward, to press a kiss on his cheek. “I’ll leave you to it.” You picked up your mug again and pushed away from the desk, not getting further than a step.
His hand around your wrist stopped you. You halted, waiting for him to act, which he did by spinning you around and planting his lips on yours. You willingly melted into him, trying not to drop your coffee, smiling against his lips the entire time.
When you parted, you looked him into the eyes and planted another short kiss on his lips. “That was quicker than expected.” He smiled, a little sheepishly even, and brushed some hair behind your ear. “You made it easier. I’m glad I drunkenly confessed that. Otherwise I might have let you walk out,” he said and your smile only widened. “Would have been a shame, really. But I’m glad you didn’t.”
Whatever this would grow into, it somehow had been years in the making, neither of you could deny that. It truly had been a wild ride and with the uncertainty of the future, it would surely stay just as interesting but it was easier to look ahead when you knew someone by your side.
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angrylizardjacket ¡ 6 years ago
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time’s arrow {Roger Taylor}
Anon asked: Hi, I love your roger/ben imagines so much and was wondering if you could do some angst with Roger x female, maybe they are good friends and she sees him with another. Whatever you would like! Thank you x :)
A/N: 2727 words. A story told through Seasons. I took a little bit of liberties with the prompt, if that’s okay? This hit me like a lightning bolt and I had to write it. Angst with a happy ending. (I’m just trying to show I’ve got versatility in writing, okay?)
Warnings: Implied sex.
You meet him in Spring, before it all begins, he sits up the back of your Intro to Head and Neck Anatomy lectures, the only class with open spots available by the time you were looking for a science credit. You find out he’s in a band three weeks into the first class, finally going to the local bar, sick of cramming your brain full of information you’re not even sure is necessary for your degree. He grins at you and wow okay, you didn’t even think he’d recognise you.
“You’re in, um,” he’s leaning against the bar next to you in this dimly lit pub, grabbing a drink between sets. Faltering for a moment, his eyes travel down before you clear your throat, angry at yourself for blushing, but his smile widens, “my class.” He finishes, taking a sip of his beer. You agree, rolling your eyes at him, but even that seems to amuse him. He asks your name. The guitarist is calling him over, setting up for the next set, but you tell him before he leaves. Something tightens in your chest when, later that night, he catches your eyes mid-song, his look of intense focus shifting for a moment as he grins, giving you a wink.
He takes to sitting next to you in lectures, chewing the end of his pencil and taking occasional notes in a falling apart notebook that looks as though he uses it for every class. You catch lyrics in the margins and at the bottom of some pages, but he’s cagey about that in a strange way, just says you’ll have to come to a gig to find out what they’re about. So you do.
Gigs become a regular for you, and you start to become friends with the girls who frequent the shows, often hosting predrinks in your dorm room for Mary and her friends on a Friday night. You learn on one of those nights that at least two of the girls have hooked up with him, and there’s a strange, sinking sensation in your chest. You’re not sad, or at least, you tell yourself you shouldn’t be. You and Roger are just friends, it’s not like there’s anything going on there, sure, sometimes after a really good show he’ll give you a pash, but it’s- that’s just him. 
It’s not like you’ve never thought about it, but you also know his reputation, and that it’ll do more harm than good to get involved with that. He’s the one mistake you don’t think you want to make.
It’s Summer, a few years later, when they trade in the van to get money to hire the recording studio. Roger had really loved that van, and he lay on your sofa for a solid hour grumbling about it, about how Freddie had some kind of nerve. You roll your eyes at him, call him a drama queen, which he takes offence to, but moves obligingly when you sit down, letting him rest his head in your lap.
When you raise the point that it might be worth it, he looks frankly aghast, griping about how he has to catch lifts everywhere now. He calms down somewhat when you start carding your fingers through his hair, though he still pouts.
“If it comes to it, I’ll buy you a car, you baby.” You snort, despite the fact that you’re currently barely making a living wage on some retail job, it’s not where you’d thought you’d be after university, but sometimes that’s just how it is. He looks up at you, and when you look down at him, he’s looking very intense. Perhaps he might say something poignant about your offer, you think, but instead he reaches up and pokes your nose.
“I can see up your nostrils.” He tells you, and you smack his hand away, scowling. You stand abruptly, ignoring his complaints, smoothing your pants out against your thighs.
“Come on,” you offer your hand, which he regards with both confusion and a bit of disdain, “you can’t mope around my apartment and complain about the band again. We’re going out.” That gets his interest.
You’ve been to bars with him before, and usually you go home alone while he gets the pick of the prettiest girls of the night, or he decides to wingman you, which hurts your heart a little, but you won’t decline. You were attractive in your own right, you won’t deny that, you didn’t technically need his help, but a selfish part of you likes the way the attention to you, even if it’s to help you get with other people.
Tonight is different, tonight he doesn’t leave your side, he slings an arm around you as the two of you stand by the bar watching the truly mediocre band they had on that night. 
“You know why they aren’t recording an album?” You ask as the set ends.
“Because they didn’t sell their van?” Roger mused, vaguely bitter, but not melancholy as he swirled the last of his drink in his free hand.
“No, it’s because they’re terrible.” Turning, you smile at your own blunt remark, and when he looks back at you, he’s grinning with a little disbelief. There’s very little space between the two of you, but that doesn’t make your heart race anymore, he’s your best friend, close contact was part of the bargain. But he kissed you, quickly, without warning, and when he pulls back, he turns away to order another drink like nothing had happened.
Your mind is spiralling, this isn’t post-gig excitement, this wasn’t something you were expecting. The selfish creature in your chest that you tried to deny for so long was crowing with victory. Taking a quick look around the bar, you don’t recognise anyone, though there are a few girls who look like they’d be his type- but his hand is moving to wrap around your waist as he turns back.
“What was that?” Voice quiet, you take his drink and have a sip of it yourself, the movement done from muscle memory alone. He raises his eyebrows at you, not regarding the drink, that was a usual occurrence, but at the question. He doesn’t seem to know how to answer, baffled at the question. Dropping you gaze, you take a sip of your own drink. “Why me? Why tonight?” You asked. Looking incredulous, he stepped back, looking you over.
“Have you seen yourself tonight, love? Couldn’t help myself.” You’ve heard him talk like this before, to other girls, not as blunt, but with you he can get away with it. The creature in your chest is elated, and you find yourself smiling, actually blushing. He moves closer once more, his arm around you, voice low as he spoke into your ear. “Trust me, you look very fit tonight, any man would be lucky to have a crack at you.” Heart in your throat, you hope you’re reading the situation right, at the same time ignoring the part of you that knew this was a bad idea.
“Even you?” You turned to face him, watching the way his smile shifted to a smirk, and he pulled you a little closer.
“You know I’m always feeling lucky.” 
You kiss him, feeling your blood thumping in your veins, selfish and excited in equal measure, but with his hands on you, you can’t find the focus to care about the former. 
Once the bad starts up again, Roger pulls away, making a face at them, asking if you wanted to get out of there. You do, and the two of you are elated on the quick walk back to his apartment, stopping only when he pressed you up against the wall of an closed shop to suck a hickey into the skin of your neck. You catch sight of it in his bedroom mirror, but he’s pulling off your jacket and you have better things to worry about.
It’s not weird, like you thought it would be, when you wake the next morning and he’s curled up, fast asleep with his back to you, but your chest aches just a little. He avoids eye contact over breakfast, though you chat like normal. The gripes about his van have died down, though he makes an offhand comment about things are changing that you read enough into to realise what had happened.
“You’ll always have me, Rog.” You reach across the table to take his hand, and he finally looks you in the eye, he looks so relieved, not that he’d ever say it. Afraid of losing another thing he cared about, he had panicked last night and tried to keep you close in the only way he knew how. He certainly loved you, but not in the way you wanted him to. Giving his hand a gentle squeeze, you give him a smile that doesn’t reach your eyes. It’s not his fault.
Bohemian Rhapsody airs in Autumn, you’re regional manager now, and you’re sitting in your office when you hear for the first time; you almost scream when the first harmony comes in after the radio host introduces the song.
“You’re a star, Rog!” You gush over the phone on your break, unable to wait until that night when the band was having a celebratory get-together to talk to him.
“Of course, I am, you think I sing that high to be paid in peanuts?” You can hear the smile in his words without even seeing him, and being able to hear his voice warms your heart.
“That was you?” You laugh, the ‘Galileo's playing back in your head, and you try to picture him singing it, which only made you laugh harder.
“Oi,” he bristled, indignant at your laughter, “I’m the only one with the range to execute Freddie’s vision.” You could see him in your mind now, proud and stubborn, standing tall to defend the decision.
“I’m proud of you.” Suddenly sincere, you find your smile turning to something more genuine as you think back on far he’s come.
“Thank you.” His own voice has become less animated, more sincere, though you can still hear him smiling.
“Love you, Rog.” You tell him, just as you always did when you parted ways.
“I’ll see you tonight.”
He’s grinning, draped with casual confidence in an armchair in Freddie’s living room when you arrive, and you feel like you’ve been taken back five years, the casual enthusiasm he’s exerting. Smile brightening, he stands when he sees you, striding across the room to enfold you in a hug.
“Good to see you!” He practically beams at you, holding your shoulders as he looks over you, as if assessing you, seeing if anything has changed.
“Of course, you’ve been holed up for weeks, I wouldn’t miss this for the world!” Though he’s in front of you, you’re words address the room as a whole, and when he steps back, Brian moves in to hug you as well, asking how you’ve been.
The boys are your friends, all of them, you’ve been around for most of their big band moments, and it eases something in your chest to be here for this one too. But then the ease sharply tightens as a woman you’ve never seen before sits on the arm of Roger’s chair, and he rests a hand on her thigh, smiling up at her.
Mary follows your gaze, and her smile is sad as she pulls you down to sit beside her, asking you about your thoughts on the single. You answer, though your heart’s not in it, and the selfish creature in your chest rears it’s ugly head after such a long slumber. 
The monster has shifted, changed and grown, it hadn’t cared about him running around with any pretty girl he could find for the past few years, but this was different. Roger had made it clear that he was far from sacred, but this was the band, this was Freddie’s home, this was the place of some of your happiest memories; this was yours. 
You stay well into the early hours of the following morning, despite the interloper, but Roger still stopped you at the door.
“I’m really glad you could make it, I feel like I haven’t seen you in ages.” He’s smiling at you, but you don’t smile back. It’s been a long night of being kind and pretending that you’re heart didn’t hurt.
“Well, you’ve very busy.” You shrug, punctuating it with a yawn. His expression turns confused, and you open the door.
“Y/N.” He tried to get your attention, but you left, throwing a goodbye over your shoulder to him. “Love you.” He calls through the door, but you stay quiet, refuse to say it back, just keep walking. You’re too tired to be upset, but maybe you’ll get there tomorrow.
Things change, and you’ve grown to accept that, but sometimes old aches don’t heal like they should. Or at all.
“I’m getting married.” He calls you at the end of Winter.
“Oh.”
“Oh?” 
Your relationship’s been on the mend in the years since the Bohemian Rhapsody launch night. You two smile and laugh like you had when you were younger, and you’ve learned to listen to his exploits and his gripes about women, offering your own about your partners, though they’re few and far between. He’s still your best friend, and you learn to act like it. 
“Congratulations.” Your voice is flat. It had been a shock, you’d heard about his latest on-again off-again girlfriend, and had even offered advice in certain situations, actual advice, no malice at all.
“Thanks.” He doesn’t seem to know where to go from here, and silence stretches out between the two of you.
“I should go.” You finally murmur.
“What? Why?” He spluttered, and you sighed deeply.
“Was there something else you wanted to talk about?” You asked, closing your eyes and leaning your forehead against the wall.
“I- no, but I want you to be there.” He paused. “And I wanted to be the one to tell you.” Clenching your jaw, you make a snap decision.
“I can’t-”
“Why not?” He actually sounded angry, which was perhaps warranted, though your next words shut him up.
“Because it hurts, Roger.” After a beat, your voice is quiet. “Because I love you.” Taking a breath, you let yourself relax. “I want you to be happy, but I can’t watch you marry someone else.” There’s silence for a very long moment, but you hang up before he can respond. You take the phone off the hook. You need to be alone, just for now.
“After everything, you still-?” It’s the first day of Spring, and he’s on your doorstep, seemingly unable to say the word love. You’re wearing your pyjamas and he looks like he’s just walked out of a Rolling Stone cover shoot, though he just sort of looks like that now, you supposed.
“Don’t worry about it.” You try not to betray how much his visit shocked you, or the way his very presence after your recent conversation hurt you.
“You’re my best friend! Of course I’m gonna worry about it!” He threw his hands up in the air, exasperated. Sighing deeply, he stepped forward. “I thought I fucked everything up when we hooked up, I’m sorry, I panicked.” He was looking at his fidgeting hands, rather than your surprised expression. “And then... I thought I fucked it up again when I chose the band over you.”
“You never-” You tried to protest, but he smiled self-deprecatingly.
“No, I did. I loved you, and I thought that would get in the way of the band.” Clenching his jaw, he looked up and you could see the regret in his eyes. “It was easier to fuck around that tell you I love you.” Your breath stopped in your throat as he finally walked closer. “And I thought after everything, that you deserved better; you know what I’m like, why would you-?” But you cut him off with a kiss.
“You’ll always have me.” You murmured, finally letting yourself smile. Nothing about it felt selfish, in fact, it felt as though the sun was finally shining on you, warming you from the inside out.
“I know,” he agreed quietly, wrapping you up in a hug.
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avatarxfrozen-blog ¡ 6 years ago
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Bar Fight
Because I love protective little sis Anna.
“What were you thinking?” 
Anna didn’t meet her sister’s gaze, but she didn’t apologize, either. Beside her, Kristoff squirmed. His movement didn’t go unnoticed. 
“And you! What were you thinking, letting her do that?!” 
Kristoff cleared his throat nervously and spoke in a voice nearly an octave higher than usual. “I-in my defense, I tried to stop her! This black eye came from her elbow when I tried!” 
This time, Anna did grimace. She hadn’t meant to hurt Kristoff. Elsa groaned and buried her face in her hands. After a moment, she waved her hand. “Alright, fine. You can go, Kristoff.” 
Kristoff hurried to his feet. Anna shot him a panicked, pleading look. He just shrugged and gave her a look that clearly told her she deserved it before he left. She resisted the urge to stick her tongue out at the door. 
“Anna.” 
She looked at her timidly. “Yes?”
  “What happened?” 
“Nothing.” 
“You sent a man to the hospital. You’d better have a good reason.” 
She shook her head and looked at the ground. Quiet footsteps approached her and her head was tilted up to meet angry yet worried blue eyes. She hadn’t exactly come out unscathed.
  “Tell me. Now.” 
Anna made a decision right then and there. She would not tell Elsa the truth. It was a dangerous decision, for Elsa would be furious if she found out, and an angry Elsa was way too reminiscent of their mother. But she just couldn’t know.
  “I got in a fight.” 
“I know that, but why?”
  She shrugged. “It was stupid. I can’t even remember what he said.” 
Elsa rubbed her temples. “Anna, I should not have to tell you this, but you cannot fight people just because you’re angry. As a princess, you have to set an example.” 
Anna shot to her feet, an angry response on her tongue, but last minute, perhaps for the first time, she held it back. She bit her tongue and clenched her fists. “I know,” she responded robotically. “I’m sorry. I will not do it again.” 
She felt Elsa’s eyes burning into her. She prayed that she would just believe her and move on. After a few moments, Elsa spoke. “Alright. Go find Gerda and let her take care of your wounds. I’ll see you at dinner.” 
Anna nodded stiffly and walked out. ‘She can’t know, she can’t know.’ As much as she wanted to defend herself, she wanted to protect Elsa more. ‘She can’t know what they said about her.’ 
* 
If Anna would have looked behind her, she would have seen Elsa looking at her suspiciously. She went back inside her study, closing the door behind her, and sat at her desk. For the next hour, she tried to work, but she just couldn’t focus. Something wasn’t right. It wasn’t like Anna to take an accusation like that without replying with some sort of justification. She knew she had wanted to. But what held her back? And she had lied to her, as well. She could tell. It wasn’t just ‘nothing’. Despite her feisty personality, Anna was a gentle person. She’d never hurt anyone without a reason for doing so. 
‘Maybe they insulted Kristoff?’ She shook her head. ‘But why would she lie about that?’ 
Finally giving up on getting any work done, she decided to find the ice harvester himself to find the truth. She walked to the stable and found Kristoff there, talking quietly to Sven. 
“How’s your eye?” Kristoff yelped and nearly tripped over his own feet. She cringed. “Sorry.” 
“No, no, it’s alright. I’m fine.” He rubbed the back of his head. “So, what brings you here?” 
Elsa approached him and hesitantly patted Sven’s nose when he stretched his neck out to greet her. She examined his stiff posture and how he refused to make eye contact. “Kristoff, relax. I’m not angry at you.” She frowned at his swollen eye. “Would you like some ice for that?” 
He slumped in relief. “Yes, please.” 
She made a handkerchief and filled it with ice and handed it to him. He sighed in relief as the cold soothed his skin. After a moment, she spoke. “Kristoff, what happened today? Anna won’t tell the truth, she actually lied to me, in fact. But I need to know the truth.” At his hesitance, she added, “You’re not betraying her. I won’t even tell her you told me.” 
He finally gave in. “Alright. I took Anna to the local bar. Not to get drunk!” he added hurriedly. “She just wanted to check the place out. Then she heard this guy say, uh...” he hesitated. 
“Something about you?” 
He shook his head. “No, it was about you.” 
Her brows shot up. “Me? What did he say about me?” 
Kristoff again shifted nervously. “I probably shouldn’t say. It wasn’t nice.” 
Elsa sighed impatiently. “Please, just tell me.” 
“He called you a-please forgive me for saying this-an ice bitch. And some other stuff I promise you don’t want to hear and I can’t say.” 
She had to say that stung a little, but she already knew some people had less-than-positive opinions of her. She chose to ignore it for now. “What happened next?” 
“Well, Anna heard, so you can imagine how upset she got. When she lunged the first time, I caught her, but she elbowed me in the face, so I let go. Then she proceeded to beat the living sh-uh, beat him up.” 
Elsa nodded. “So, she beat him up...for me?” Her throat was suddenly dry.
  Kristoff’s face softened. “Yeah. She really loves you, you know?” 
Elsa couldn’t respond vocally, but she nodded. She turned away when her eyes began to sting. He was kind enough to pretend not to notice. She finally composed herself enough to speak. “Thank you for telling me. I’ll go talk to her.” 
She went back to the castle and straight up to Anna’s room. She knocked gently. “Anna?” 
There was silence, and she was afraid she was being ignored, but then the door opened. Her heart broke at her red eyes that meant she had been crying. Anna stepped aside so she could come in and shut the door. Elsa sat in awkward silence, wringing her hands, trying to come up with words to express how she was feeling. Eventually, she just gave up and, in a very Anna-like manner, pulled her into a hug. Anna gasped in shock, but then recovered and returned it, for she could never refuse her hugs; she had gone too long without. 
Elsa tried hard not to cry, and she was mostly successful. She waited until she had composed herself before pulling away to look at her. She took her hands and rubbed them. “I...know what happened. What really happened.” 
Anna’s eyes widened. “How-Kristoff!” She growled the last part. 
“Don’t be mad at him, I made him tell me.” She squeezed her eyes shut; she didn’t know where to begin. “Anna, I...thank you.” She pulled her back into the hug as a few tears ran down her cheeks. “Thank you for defending me. I...you...” She buried her face in her shoulder. 
Anna was confused and concerned. Elsa wasn’t usually like this. “E-Elsa?” 
“I’m sorry,” she mumbled, voice shaking. “I’m just not used to having people defend me, that’s all.” 
Now that made Anna want to cry. She hugged her tighter, burying her face in her neck. “Of course I defended you,” she said. “You’re my sister. No one’s allowed to talk about you like that, I don’t care who they are. And he was wrong.” She moved her head so she could kiss her cheek before continuing the embrace. She was perfectly content to stay this way, no matter how long Elsa needed it.
  Elsa finally leaned back to hold her face. She smiled warmly, eyes glistening. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.” When Anna just grinned back, she peppered her face with kisses, because she loved her more than anything. Anna’s giggle, like always, made her heart sing and reminded her that maybe Anna was right, maybe she wasn’t all those things after all. 
She pressed a final kiss to her forehead before leaning hers against her. “Can you do something for me?” 
“Anything.” 
“Try not to send anyone else to the hospital next time someone says something offensive about me.” 
Anna giggled. “I will make no such promises, but... I guess I’ll try.” 
Elsa sighed and shook her head fondly. “I guess that’s all I can ask.” For she didn’t want to change her. She loved every bit of her, slightly violent tendencies and all.
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anastasiaskarsgard ¡ 5 years ago
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Hydrangea - Chapter 1
The home was large and imposing. Located on the second largest island, in the Stockholm archipelago, it was connected to Stockholm by a bridge, which meant it was in the perfect location to quickly reach the rest of civilization whenever the moment was required -- but was enough out of the way that I didn't have to be bothered by anyone. The quiet location of the home allowed me the peace and privacy recent events, had made so valuable.
Upon stepping inside, I noted the dust that covered every single surface within the home; and on the kitchen table -- sat a magazine from six years ago. It had been a while since anyone used this place. It had been in our family for several generations, and although it was grand and beautiful in the summer, it was a hard place to live in the winter. Just heating it, was a small fortune, especially considering it had no protection or barriers to help shield it from the ferocious frozen winds, that relentlessly lasted the coldest months of an already savage cold.
 My tiny Pomeranian, Max, took a moment to sniff around. He was as fearless as he was adorable, and I could only pray that he managed to stay out of trouble. Max was my loyal little man, and when i was at my lowest, he really helped me keep going. I had given up on myself, but I couldnt let my little Max down. I leaned down and gave him a quick back rub, before he trotted off to sniff around some more. I could only imagine the sensory overload all this was to a little city dog, that now had an entire new world to investigate.
I walked around the house, going from room to room, opening up windows to let in the fresh air. I peeked over at my neighbors house, and was pleased to see people were there.
Back when I was growing up, I would come here every summer, without fail. During that time, I had managed to develop amazing friendships with the children who had lived next door -- Bill and Eija Skarsgard. Bill was the tall and lanky boy who would always have scrapes and bruises, and absolutely zero fear whatsoever. Eija, was just as bold as her older brother. She never failed to be confident in any situation -- even when I was hesitant about something. In fact, if I tried to chicken out, or god forbid, not even try, she always found a way to change my mind. I was a naturally timid child, but they would have none of it. There were 3 older brothers, and although theyd often humor us, they were too old to play our silly games of pretend.  But looking back on the events that led me here, I couldn't help but wish I’d stayed that sweet timid girl, that cried when i caught a fish, because id made its mouth bleed. Being fearless and passionate hadnt gone well for me.
These days, from what I'd seen online and read about in articles, it seemed that almost all of the Skarsgard brothers were actors. I remembered the father was some sort of artistic type, and was shocked his sons had followed suit, all but one of them, got so embarrassed by his unapologetic nudity. The boys I grew up playing "make believe" with as children, were now critically acclaimed actors. Not only that but beautiful ones at that! Bill had grown into quite the looker. He was handsome by anyone's standards,  with his rich and dark brown hair, sinful full lips, chiseled facial features and penetrating green eyes. Looking at him in magazines, it was mind-blowing that this was the same boy that helped me build dams out of stones, or dig in the dirt for hours. I was sorry I'd lost touch with them but was too shy to reach out to them now that they were famous. That wasn't why I missed them, although I'm sure that's what they'd think. I hoped that the fame hadn't gone to their heads and that they were still the friendly, free-spirited family that I had always remembered them to be before I couldn't find the time to come back to this place.
When you're a teenager, you don't want to escape the rat race; you want to be in the thick of it. I was by no means a party girl, but I did enjoy an active social life in my teens, and all through college. I was obsessed with getting good grades and was a bit of an overachiever, so I kept myself busy. I was always aloof with boys because frankly, they all seemed more trouble than they were worth. I had high standards and was of the mindset that I would rather be alone than settle for someone perfect for me. Then I met Adam.
Adam appeared perfect, at least at the surface. He was naturally athletic and tall, attractive by conventional standards; and very funny -- as well as charismatic and successful. He honestly had it all, or so I thought. People, myself included, were instinctively drawn in by him. Adam could always be counted upon for a good time with a great story. He was your typical all-american boy next door that you wanted to do bad things with. It’d actually flattered me, when he took an interest in me, and tirelessly pursued me.
If I had to describe myself, physically, I was fortunate enough to be naturally conventionally attractive as well. However, I had a standoffish vibe. In my defense, resting bitch face is a thing that can’t be fixed for some people, but with every cloud, there's a silver lining. Especially since it's saved me from numerous creeps approaching me, and at least gave me the illusion that I blended in, and didn't draw much notice.  I HATED being the center of attention. On a Friday night, you're more likely to find me at home curled up on my couch engrossed in a good novel -- rather than dealing with strangers and drunk people.
I had a very secure career as a  business analyst, for a big utility company; so I was not the person you ever wanted to see. I analyzed our various departments and employees, to always be sure, we work at our most financial efficiency, and if I did come to see you, it wasn’t because to give you a high five. As long as I kept us out of the red, and looked professional and clean, they really couldn't have cared less about aging or being fashionable.
As time progressed within our relationship, I thought nothing of it when Adam got a new assistant at work named Alexis. Alexis had a lovely face and Victoria's Secret body. She was slender, and never appeared to have a single strand of hair out of place. A few friends made comments, but I defended her, annoyed people only looked at her superficially, and didn't take her seriously. I had suffered this same plight, my entire life, so I refused to acknowledge her beauty as anything suspicious. She was brilliant and tenacious, and her organizational skills were spectacular, and coming from me, that's quite a compliment.  She also knew a lot about healthy eating habits and managed to share diet and exercise tips with Adam when he started to find it difficult to fit in some of his suits. I thought it was sweet of him to make a new friend, and treat her like a peer and looking back, I want to choke myself.  I was, quite frankly, the most naive, trusting idiot on the planet.
It started simply; she would occasionally "forget" to give him some messages from me and once in a while laughing a little too much at one of his jokes that just wasn't as funny, or always would touch his arm or back or shoulder. Honestly, it was a tint bit annoying, but he had always been a handsome, charming guy, that made people feel comfortable. She wasn't the first one to be a bit too familiar, but at the end of the day, he loved me and wanted to marry me. I had no reason to not trust him because of her actions. If I'm honest, I probably should confess I am a bit of a reclusive type and am not very attentive or needy. Alone time is right up there with oxygen, for me, so I have to trust completely, or I’ll drive myself nuts.
If I’d paid closer attention, id have questioned why he started staying later and later at the office. I just assumed he was taking on more cases, that he had gained from all the free publicity when he had represented a notorious South American cartel crime lords son, and saved him from what was thought to be a certain a guaranteed death sentence. He’d still received a life sentence, but considering the 74 crimes had been guilty of, that was damn near a miracle! So, I didn’t mind when he had to cancel several dates with me. In fact, I was proud of him for getting more work, rising in the ranks of the legal hierarchy as well. Then there was his sudden disinterest in looking at houses with me. One of the most significant conflicts in our relationship had always been that I refused to move in together until we were married. Since we were going to be getting married at the end of summer, he had been foaming at the mouth to pick out our future home, but now it was like he planned on buying a house after we were married. I didn't let it bother me though, I figured that because of his busy work schedule, it would just be easier for me to take photos of the houses for him, and put them all in an online portfolio for him to review at his convenience. I even went as far as completely buying his bullshit excuse of "needing something to hold back his hair out of his eyes, while he was at the gym" when I found a woman's hair tye in his fucking bathroom. (Believe me, if I could go back and slap the shit out of myself --) :
It wasn’t until I received a call from my gynecologist with the results from my yearly pap smear -- that I was doused in the cold hard reality of what was going on. I had chlamydia, and quite frankly -- I wanted to cut his manhood off and make him eat it, I was so mad. I stormed into his office and burst through the doors dramatically slamming the test results on his desk in front of him. And you want to know the embarrassing part? I still didn't think it was Alexis.
“What dirty ass whore, have you been sticking your dick in? Who was worth throwing us away, because its fucking over.” I said menacingly enough, he scooted back a bit.
“I dont think you should talk about her like she cant hear you, for fucks sake,” he said looking over at Alexis who continued to work quietly and avoid eye contact with me; almost pretending as if nothing were wrong and she could not in fact hear me.
I was at a complete loss. I stood there with my mouth agape, trying to process this information, and when I could feel the lump in my throat rise, and the tears threatened to fall, I turned on my heel and left, without saying another word.
Looking back, I should have noticed several signs that something was amiss.
About six months ago, he became very concerned with his appearance; hitting the gym, eating healthy, buying anti-aging products, investing in several expensive wardrobe pieces, getting a new hairstyle. I had found it funny that at 30 years old, he was having a mid-life crisis. I’d tease him about it a little bit, and he’d just roll his eyes and say he wasn’t a natural stunner like me.
I’ve always been very low maintenance, but that’s because my body knows it has to keep it together because I’m not doing a bunch of crazy stuff to stay young. I’m totally fine with gray hairs, wrinkles and wearing my Juicy tracksuits that haven’t been in style, for a decade. There were better odds that I’d get superpowers than I’d get Botox.
I had been so blind. Such a fool.
When Adam came by my home to pick up his possessions he’d left there over the years, she came along and even had the audacity to come inside with him. She had this smug look on her face, and kept whispering to Adam and giggling. I knew she was trying to get a rise out of me but was a lady dammit... I held it together until they finally left, and as I closed the door and locked it behind them, I pressed my forehead to the door, willing myself to stay strong, but my legs got so weak, and the air felt like it’d been knocked out of me. And I suddenly felt far too heavy to stand. I crumpled to the floor, and curled myself into the fetal position, and cried like I, ve never cried in my entire life. Hysterical, slobberyface, sobbing with boogers, till my throat and diaphragm hurt, and then I cried some more.
My heart was broken. I felt like my life was over, and my chance at happiness had left with him. I sunk into a pretty deep depression and stopped cleaning the house and speaking to anyone outside of work. If it hadn't been for my loyalty to Max, I don't know if I would of left my house. I had to take care of Max tho, so I pressed on although I was a shell of my old self.
I’d torture myself looking at their social media accounts, with all their cute little pictures and sappy comments. I’d never been one to post 1000 pictures of my life or write to my boyfriend. I saw every day, professions of my love for all the world to see. I updated my Instagram maybe once a month, unlike Alexis, who seemed to update hers about once an hour. It was disgusting.
That’s how I saw the hydrangea bushes.
I always loved hydrangeas and had asked Adam if I could plant some at his office, and he’d always said they were too problematic. I’m an analyst, so rather than argue, I gathered various varieties and strains, what their strengths and weaknesses were, what colors were offered, how often they bloomed and what was required to keep them alive. I had presented Adam with the top 3 hydrangea candidates in folders that were the color they’d bloom to be, and was rather pleased with myself. He’d been busy at the time and handed the folders off to Alexis, promising to look them over later. I asked him a few times if he’d gotten a chance to look them over and he’d get annoyed, so I just let it go.
Now I was sitting here, seething with rage, looking at Alexis, posing next to a sizeable Bloomstruck hydrangea bush holding my motherfucking folder.
I don’t know what came over me, but I had to destroy that bush.: I stayed up all night, figuring out the best strategy. Finally, I decided to go by his office before sunrise, since no one would be around, for me to douse said bush in lighter fluid and walk away to let it soak in. Eventually, once they had arrived at the office a little bit later, I would wait for them to all be inside and then casually stroll on by and toss a lit match in the bush.
 Burn baby, burn! 
His office building was made out of bricks and the flowering bed was also encased in bricks; there was no risk of it getting out of control.
I jogged by, splashing the contents all over the bush, and then crossed the street to the parking garage, where I took the stairs up to the sixth floor, where I could see them arrive without being seen. People never look up.
It didn't take long before I saw Adam’s shiny black Mercedes pull into his reserved parking space, and imagine my surprise when Alexis got out the passenger side. I guess he was giving her rides to work now too, or maybe they even lived together. Frankly, I didn't care, but they were not getting happily ever after, with my favorite fucking flowers!
They kissed and held hands, in front of God and everybody. It was repulsive and so unprofessional. He pulled her into a deep kiss and then went inside, leaving her outside. What was she doing? I bet she was going to take some fucking selfies. She walked over to MY bush, digging in her purse. More pictures with the bush, but when she pulled something out of her purse, my stomach dropped. In her hand, she had a cigarette and a lighter. She tried to light her cigarette, but it was a windy day. Thank God, I breathed a sigh of relief until she huddled down into the bush, using it to block the wind and lit her cigarette. I'm not exaggerating when I say; she quite literally burst into flames.
 I watched in horror, as she ran around flailing her arms and screaming completely engulfed in flames. Then I turned around, and I ran as fast and as far as my legs would take me in the opposite direction.
I want to give a huge thank you for helping me with editing @imaginationlane. She is such a good writer, and she took the time to help point me in the right direction and I'm very thankful. I actually edited something!!!! Yeah!!!
If I should keep going, like or comment or reblog. I welcome any comments, good or bad.
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starpiper3 ¡ 6 years ago
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A Dark Step
Chapter 1
A bitter… bitter taste really, it was all she could ever think about. Just because she was raised and modified to be a part of the omnic faction didn't mean she was any less human… or did it? 
She threw a stone into the small river under the bridge. The rings it left behind soon faded away. It only reminded her about her home life. She had no human to relate to, no human family, siblings, aunts, uncles. There was no one she could relate to. For she was a monster of her own being. 
Another pebble carelessly flew through the air. She wanted nothing more than Overwatch to pay. She wanted them to pay for what they did to her perfect family. For doing everything in their power not help her when she needed them most. They were awful people really, and she hated everything about them. 
They took everything she ever had. The happy little life the omnics had made for her. They all looked after her and treater her as their own. Letting her use her mechanics to explore the base she lived at by creating and intensifying their weapons and armor for battle. Yet, Overwatch gave her no mercy. Her closet, bed, bathroom, mail box, a full fridge, a warm fireplace, her tail, her wings…granted the weren't the best models, but…
She gritted her teeth both from the pain and the cold. How dare they, how dare they. Her tattered shirt was both wet and cold, as the seasons were in the process of changing. There was no where for her to go. Granted, she heard rumors that the Overwatch HQ always had rooms open to the homeless and would grant shelter for the night, yet she couldn't imagine stooping down to their level. 
Just then, footsteps echoed through the small space. A quick breath was brought into her lungs before holding it for a moment. If she had to run, she would, yet staying was also a very dangerous choice, a choice she was willing to make. As she had nothing left to lose, not even her dignity. Wiggling further into the darkness, she watched the three strangers approach the opposite side of the water. A lean figure following a caped figure, or so it seemed. 
Floating..? She questioned, her eyes following the leader of the two. A soft grumble left one of the bodies. Her eyes narrowed. The familiarity of it was all too close to that of the leader of Talon. She heard many stories about them and their kind. How they were even more merciless than Overwatch, how all they did was take. It seemed so cruel to be so, yet they were beyond the destruction that Overwatch caused. They weren’t portrayed as the good guys like Overwatch was. They weren’t seen as peace like Overwatch was. They were a special kind of annihilation. 
“The winged beast was it?” The voice rang out, no doubt in her mind that it belonged to that of Widowmaker, the co-leader of Talon, “How she tried so hard to save what little she had, to fight on the backs of her omnic family. But alas, why should Overwatch care about a little orphan girl and her Omnic people?”
She gritted her teeth as a growl entered her throat. How dare she talk about her family like that! The thought of them going around acting like they were all that really pissed her off. They were everything to her as well as all she had. She had no blood line, as she knew in her heart from long ago that they were killed in the lanky on going war. 
“She used her enhanced abilities to excel herself, making wings and a tail in order to fight back the Overwatch forces. Yet, due to her miscalculations, ended up destroying more of herself than she could bargain.” The man, presumed to be Reaper, leader of Talon, said in a hushed malicious tone. 
“What do you two want?” She barked as she stood from her shadowed corner. Her body shook from the cold, not from fear, for she had concurred much worse than these low life’s. In the frigid air, she didn't have anything more than a tattered t-shirt and a pair of ripped up jean shorts, yet it wouldn't stop her from fighting. She winced when she put weight on her left leg, forgetting that she had slipped and fallen down the concrete stairs a while ago, almost sure that she had fractured her leg in one way or another. 
“Wounded, I see, well there’s really no point in running away anyhow,” Reaper snickered as he floated over to her side of the river. Trying to hold her ground, she pulled her arms up to defend herself, yet the weight her leg was baring quickly became too much. Falling back on her behind, she looked up at the masked man, prepared to protect herself no matter what the cost, “we’re not here to hurt you, only to offer you a fresh start.”
“A fresh start? A fresh start? You really think that I would take up this ‘fresh start’ to the likes of you!”
“He means a second chance at taking down your beloved Overwatch.” Widowmaker whispered, after landing gracefully next to her. 
Her eyes widened and trembled with rage, as if her irises were wound with animosity. “Oh,” she drawled out as if she were on some psychotic drug, “Oh is that what you mean? Is that what you truly mean? Don't you dare lie to me now!” she growled deep in her throat, “Such offers,” she took a breath seething through her teeth, “such offers don't tend to come up so easily from the leader of Talon without a price.”
“We would give you all the resources you'd ever need to get back upon your feet. A room, computers, a bed, a pace to stay. After working for us for a bit, you’ll eventually gain battlefield status. And with that brain of yours,” Widowmaker tapped her forehead gesturing to her bionic enhancements, “ I’m sure the research bit of it will come rather easy.” she said smirking the whole time.
“So what do you say little one?” Reaper asked extending his hand to her.
The thought was exquisite, exciting, ravishing. A second chance to take down her biggest opponent? An offer she couldnt back down on. But…
“Wait, what’s the catch?” She said with a hard glare on her face, “Of course you guys are the actual bad guys, or at least thats how everyone these days sees it. So there must be a catch.”
“No catch little girl-” Widowmaker started.
“I’m 17,” she sneered, “17, no home, no family, no place to go. I’ve made it like this for weeks. So you better not talk to me like I'm some petty little child. That’s rule one for a person of the likes of me.”
“Well then, I see you are a feisty little one. A perfect addition to Talon. With that attitude we will get you going on the field in no time.” Widowmaker snickered, “The only catch, is that you work under the oath of Talon, never giving in to the lies of what Overwatch holds.”
“Bullshit,” she said with a slight smile on her face, “is that really all? You really think, that someone like me would just give in so easily? HA! They’d have to kill me first!” She practically yelled.
“Do you want this life time opportunity or not?” Reaper spit out.
“Well Christ man, hell yes I do.” She said, a venomous feeling running through her veins. Reaper let out a maniacal laugh before asking her name.
“Surely you must have one.”
“The name is Lyra Azrael Ruta, given to me from the leaders of the Omnic faction, and the pleasure is all mine.” She grimaced as she gave a bow, a large demonic smile plastered on her face. Lifting herself back to an upright position, she noticed Reapers hand was extended towards her.
“Well Lyra, welcome to the team.”
“Hey! Who goes there?” A man shouted in the distance, as the three had been spotted by a near by civilian.
“What can I say? Girls got a pair of lungs,” Widowmaker snickered before turning to Reaper, “Shall we?” 
To the man’s dismay, the three disappeared in a cloud of black smoke, unable to be traced by any naked eye or machine. 
Much to Lyra’s luck, her real vengeance began tonight. 
|=/ 
~Starpiper3
I’m sorry… it has been quite a while hasn't it?
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bangzchan ¡ 6 years ago
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nah she was just pretending to write in chinese by writing ching chong somethin somethin
Anonymous said:It was a drawing of a man eating with Japanese writing on the side. And Lea the racist wrote in the caption ‘ching chong’. That’s a derogatory term used to mock Chinese people. There was nothing vague about it. Quite frankly if you don’t find it racist then you’re part of the problem.
oh alright ,didnt know that. yikes.. i thought it was just about her translating smth incorrectly
Anonymous said:I don’t hate Lea, it’s just that she has a weird vibe. I don’t know how to explain it, they as a couple are strange. On the other hand I see the relationship of Maiken and Cengiz, they transmit a completely different energy, it’s nice to see them and it makes me very happy that they are together. I don’t know if it’s me but for me is very cringy when I see Lea 🤷🏻‍♀(sorry my english)
ur english is fine! i dont really know anythin about cengiz and maiken’s energy,dont even know what to think about henrik and lea’s tbh klsjdf but like i understand if one of them is more what you find better to follow/look at
Anonymous said:The Chinese thing was her literally uploading a pic of someone eating noodles and the caption was Ching Chong soo.. it was on her public Facebook post and it was from a few years back she was probably 13😬 soo Yes is wrong but she was an actual child living in one of the whitest countries in the world so unless she does something like that now I think people should move on and stop minding her Also I know this because back when those hate accounts happened they uploaded this and I was curious 
i mean if she doesnt see it even now that it was a bad thing to do then like…doesnt excuse her where shes from and all.. im not a fan of ppl bringing up something from years ago though especially when they were around that young age, bc we’ve all done smth we now know was unaccaptable, im not trying to justify anything or whatever i just think we used to be put out to lots of things that were so yikes now that you think back to it (and even now but now youve got more of an opportunity to look things up and everything?) like maybe a movie you used to find funny now you watch again and its so cringy, the humour is just racist/sexist/homophobic lines but no one said anything about it and its sad bc it shows how you were brought up and how your parents/relatives and other ppl around you didnt “teach” you what is supposed to be common sense..you know what i mean? its just very frustrating 
Anonymous said:Lol Lea posted a pic of herself kissing Henrik and wrote the caption as “congratulations for the gullruten award henrik and tarjei” like wHeRe’s TaRjEi and wHaT dOeS tHiS pIcTuRe hAvE tO dO wItH their gullruten award lmao. She’s just 1 insecure little girl who cant stay quiet without shoving in peoples face that shes with Henrik when He’s out there MAKING OUT with TARJEI on LIVE TV. Honestly why is she evn with Him if shes so insecure&doesnt trust him. She doesnt have to prove herself to d world
I meant.. Henrik clearly flirts with everyone.. its kinda his nature. But he isnt cheating on her (i hope so) and she should stop being so paranoid and try to prove herself to the world that Henrik is still hers. And honestly… if shes that scared.. why is she with him.. this all becomes Eva’s storyline here.
Most of the time Lea did that whenever someone talked about henjei and that it was real. And if peoples hate comments bothers her so much. theres something called turning off the comment section and putting your account on private. She only wants the attention. Theres a big chance she started dating him for the fame but then fell for him later.
im sorry, im not tryin to defend lea and honestly i couldnt care less about their relationship but its been bugging me…… just because she posts pics of herself with her boyfriend doesnt mean shes insecure in their relationship or that she doesnt trust him.. could be, but neither me or you know that and almost everyone in a relationship posts lots of pictures of themselves like theres nothing unusual about it?? also they were together/going out way before s3 got big so like ..she was proud of her boyfriend so she decided to post a pic of them, congratulating.. also the “clearly flirts with everyone” its called being nice and friendly to ppl? and no offense but instead of telling her to go private or turn off comments, maybe ppl should stop commenting hate about how shes ~using henrik when we dont know anything..do yall realize its not your relationship/life and that you dont know more than what they share? theyre both adults they can decide who they want to hang out with and if its good or not
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wadupimjared ¡ 5 years ago
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i'm stuck with the bruises you left behind
LOCATION: Jared & Ashlynn’s apartment
TIME FRAME: April 25th, some time around 9pm
WORD COUNT: 2256
NOTES: jared and ashlynn fight, and he fucking just gives up.
It wasn't that jared didn't love ashlynn, he did, or at least he used to. and now at least it seemed like everything was wrong with them. She hated how much time he was with the boys, hated when he was on tour, hated whenever he wasn't with her. he couldn't be there twenty four seven for her. Telling her about the party was a mistake and a half.  he should have just said he was going out, full stop. but nooooo he had to say it was landon's birthday and it was at Cam's. that just sent them into a fight and him just giving up not wanting to deal with the fight. He texted cam he wouldn't be able to come and to take a round of shots for him, before he went into his office - trying to advoid Ashlynn for the rest of the night.
ashlynn was pissed. how could he not tell her what was happening? and just throw it on her like that? the fight had been long, mainly one sided, with her doing most of the yelling. but could she care? not at all. she let out a puff of air as he walked out of the room, rolling her eyes as she laid back on the bed. after a couple of minutes, she walked out of their bedroom, taking a couple of steps down the hall to enter his office, "are you gonna go or what?"
Jared's office was more or less just where he had his guitar's stored, it was honestly more of a man cave the anything, with the flat screen tv, and him actually owning one of every game system, and them all working, all nicely stored in a shelving unit. Looking up from playing black ops when she walked in. "And risk me having to bring you home cause Janelle will kick you out the second you step foot into their house, no thanks." his eyes locked on the tv, not even looking over to her.
"the fuck you mean she'll kick me out?" her hip popped out, and her hand moved to rest on it. with her eyebrows raised, she took a couple of steps into the room, her fingers trailing over all of his gaming systems, not thinking twice when a couple of them knocked to the side, "i don't fully get why the fuck they just hate me so much."
Jared let out an annoyed sigh the second she touched his gaming systems, having him pause the game, pulling his headphones fully off looking at her. "Oh i don't know would you like me to list every single girl fight you two have been in since you where fourteen?" He questioned. "Or the fact that you had the nerve to get someone to stuff the ballet box for our senior prom, making it so you won, with zero campaigning if i remember where Janelle campaigned her ass off. You two have never been friends. So I think there is a long list of reasons why they don't like you very much."
ashlynn couldn't hold her scoff in as jared began speaking, "and what the fuck would the problem be with that?" she spoke, her head cocking to one side, flicking her finger off the shelf, holding it up to her face, "it's fuckin' disgusting in here, you really need to at least clean something," she rolled her eyes softly, turning her head to him now, "i wanted it, so i got it. what's the problem with that? she can deal - and she did deal. it's not my fuckin' fault if she's still hung up on it. they? what? they all don't like me? what a bunch of dicks - that's ridiculous."April 26, 2020
Jared just rolled his eyes, not feeling like dealing with this, pressing the center button on his xbox controler to turn everything off, tossing it to the side. "Look none of the boys much care for you, janelle hates you, and your attitude is something that briar doesn't fucking need in her life. So you can fucking stay here and i'm going to hang out with my friends."
ashlynn moved around slightly, making it so her back was leaning against the shelves, her eyes trained on jared, "i don't give a fuck if janelle hates me, and i don't give a fuck about what that annoying little princess needs or not. i'm your girlfriend, you need to be taking me to these fuckin' things. what the hell is the point of us dating if you really just don't care that we are at all!" she shot, her eyes narrowing slightly.
"You fucking should." He crossed his arms. "So you rather go to a fucking party where half of the people don't like you and make everyone unhappy. Thats fucking rich coming from you. Plus im not going to ruin landon's birthday over that." He mumbled. "Maybe you should go stay with your parents for a few days." His voice not wavering from the tone he had been using with her, but it was softer almost like he didn't want to do that but it was getting to some of the last straws.
"why the fuck should i?" she spat, shaking her head disapprovingly, "i'm sure i'm not going to make a single person at that stupid party unhappy at all. why the fuck would that ruin his birthday? god - you're so fucking dramatic!" ashlynn exclaimed, rolling her eyes back. though when he spoke, her face softened slightly, "why?" her words came out softer, her brows furrowing.
Jared let out another annoyed sigh. She wasn't getting it. "Dramatic? Seriously Ash?" He shook his head. "I'm going by myself. When i get home I don't care if you actually went to your parents or you went some place else, but i don't wanna see  you when i get back." He licked his lips letting out a sigh.
as he continued, ashlynn visibly changed, her face was much softer, her shoulders had dropped, "baby," she pleaded, taking a couple of steps towards him, her hands reaching for his arms, "i don't want to leave - please just stay with me? i'll make - i'll make some cookies, and we can put your favorite movie on or something,"
Jared didn't want to give in. he wanted to go to the party, he wanted to have fun with his friends. but she had that way of pulling him back. Letting out a small sigh "okay." he mumbled.
ashlynn grinned as he agreed, "yay!" she leaned up on her toes, pressing a kiss to his lips, "what should we watch? star wars or something? and - we have oatmeal or chocolate chip cookies, which ones?"
A smile crossed his face, but it was kind of forced, kissing her back quickly. "Mm we can watch star wars." he  leaned himself on his door frame "You are the only one in this house that like oatmeal" Jared said with a sigh.
"oatmeal is good!" she defended, squeezing his arm gently, "come on, let's go make some! we can make both - how's that?"
Jared nodded slightly "Sure we can do both. thats fine." he followed her to the kitchen, though his feet where dragging like they were made of lead not wanting him to go.
ashlynn grabbed his hand, nearly dragging him into the small kitchen of their apartment, already beginning to pull the things she needed to make the cookies. the dough was pre-made, so all she really needed was a cooking sheet, "star wars, right?" she reiterated.
Jared leaned on the counter, watching her, but started to text Zach and Cam. He really tried. "Star wars." He said softly, grabbing at one of the raw bits of the chocolate chip cookie dough popping it into his mouth, hoping salmonella  took him out
"who're you texting?" she asked, turning her head as she pulled off chunks of the cookie dough, slapping them onto the baking sheet.
Jared wanted to lie, but it didn't come out, "Just Z & C...telling them i can't make it." he mumbled, before grabbing some more of the raw cookie dough.
"mm," she hummed softly, "bet they're pissed, eh? mad that i ruin everything," her tone was sarcastic, her eyes rolling yet again, "stop eating the cookie dough, would you? i'm trying to make cookies here."
Jared sighed "Upset yeah." He mumbled, trying to easily slip the next thing in. "Cam did remind me we have a band thing in LA. this week." He stayed glued to picking at the cookie dough, clearly not planning on stopping anytime soon.
ashlynn let out a puff of air, shaking her head as he said they were upset. she really couldnt care less if they approved of her or not, “in la?” she asked, putting the last of the cookie dough down on the pan, “so you’re going to leave now and then leave for tour too? thats - whatever.” she mumbled, slamming the tray into the oven.
Jared looked up. "Ashlynn you knew what you were signing up for dating someone in a band" He reminded her, hoping she'd just finally snap and do the break up but it always seemed harder then he thought. "Its only gonna be a few days.."
"we were dating before you were in a band, jared." she shot, slamming the door to the oven closed, "yeah - it's gonna be a few days now, and then you're gone for the whole fuckin' summer, and you won't even let me come with you. but all the other girlfriends can."
"Well, tencally speaking. we where a band then too.." He flinched when she slammed the oven door.  "Do you get the buses aren't that big and everyone would hear this" He motioned to the yelling and the fighting "Do you really want this fucking aired out?"
"it wasn't anything like this though," she mumbled, turning around so she could face him, "so fucking what? it's not fuckin' fair that the two of them get to go - and i have to stay here!" ashlynn whined, crossing her arms over her chest, "it's not like it already isn't! you tell the two of them fucking everything!"
“Do you really want me to tell the boys that it is t fair and they have to tell both them “sorry you gotta stay home cause ashlynn doesn’t find it fair” he arms went up into the air sighing “they are basically my brothers so yes I do”
it just isn’t fucking fair that they both get to come and i don’t,” her arms tightened around her own torso, letting out an annoyed sigh, “like - why the fuck am i the only one who doesn’t get to come?” she shot, her eyes narrowing slightly as she looked at him.
You know exactly why but you clearly don’t get the reason why!” His voices finally raised a little “plus I don’t need all this fighting on tour!”
“what the fuck is the reason why, then? just fucking tell me!” she yelled, her voice raising just a bit higher than his own, “what the fuck are we fucking doing then, jared! if i just have to stay here and watch you leave every other fucking month!”
Jared shook his head “you fucking tell me what you’re doing then! If you are just as unhappy as I am just leave!” His words didn’t mean to be harsh - they rarely were.
ashlynn flung her arms to her sides, her hands hitting her hips, "what the fuck do you mean?" she shot, throwing one of her hands up now, "unhappy? fuck you jared - whatever. why don't you leave if you're so fucking unhappy."
Jared just shook his head "yeah im gonna leave my apartment." He laughed shaking his head. "This is why i told you to go to your fucking parents house, so shit like this wouldn't have fucking happened" he threw his hands up in the air.
"our apartment." she spat, pursing her lips together, "why the fuck do you despise me so fuckin' much? it's not my fault you're always off and on and off and on! leaving every other fuckin' day just to be with them, i don't fucking get it."
"It was my apartment before i said you could move in" He ran his hand through his hair shaking his head "I'm fucking working 90% of the time when i'm with them. You can't really think we're just fucking around Ash." He sighed "I'm going out and i really don't want you here when I get back." He was done. so fucking done. He grabbed his wallet and keys going to the door.
"what the hell is your point? i pay rent, do i not? this is our apartment." she reminded, her tone filled with nothing but anger, "you cannot tell me you idiots don't spend most of the fucking time just fucking around, not getting shit done. - it shows, jared, it really does." ashlynn yelled, her hands flailing up in the air, "if you walk out that fucking door right now, we're over! you're done!"
Jared had stopped in his tracks hearing her words, there was so much anger in them, and he honestly was tired of it. "Like i said, I don't want you here when I get back." His tone was low as he opened the door stepping out of it, slamming it behind him.
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tumblunni ¡ 7 years ago
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Bunni continues to play Richard And Alice! Random thoughts and stuff!
* I’m really not good at point and click advantures, so i dunno if my opinion is very valuable, but this one just seems... not good, gameplay-wise. The sections are all different lengths and difficulty levels in each chapter, and not in a fitting way. Like so far the only one where I had to combine two items was the first chapter, it took me ages to figure out what the game wanted me to do with the bedsheets. And then the second chapter had like zero point and click at all, you just had to find one toy brick and stick it to block one hole, then it was just story cutscenes. And now in chapter three we have a suddenly huge snowfield to explore with your painfully slow walk speed, yet there’s only like one thing you need to find and just... I’m getting surprisingly anxious worrying if I missed something cos i only found that one thing! There was a whole section i didnt explore cos i didnt realise you couldnt go back outside after you managed to open the door. And what was with the misdirect of Alice saying ‘maybe i can reach this window if i have something to stand on’ and then instead she just shot off the lock on the door? Does that mean there were multiple solutions to this puzzle and thats why the place was so huge?
* Anyway, the story continues to be intriguingly good! I continue to be really engaged in poor Alice’s journey through this post apocolyptic snow world with her lil son, and I continue to be really worried what happened to that son, since this is a flashback and Alice met Richard alone... Also I like the continuity that Barney is continuing to talk about the close call they had last time with a monsterous bastard who kidnapped them. This poor lil 7 year old is struggling to keep up and struggling to keep smiling so his mum won’t be sad, and its just SO COLD and he doesnt understand why they left ‘the safe house’ because he doesnt understand they were prisoners there. And god, its so sad cos you can understand how Alice might be getting frustrated with him, and you can understand that she KNOWS she’s being irrational, but she’s just so scared that she sucks at keeping up a brave face for her kid. But I think she’s doing a great job, she’s way more of a badass survivor than anyone else would have been in this situation! And Barney is being incredibly good too, he’s being really patient and obedient to his mum and he’s a really considerate kid, he gave his mum his toy car cos she was getting sad remembering when her husband was alive and they used to ‘go on adventures’. (”But we’re on an adventure now, mummy!”)
* And MAN I am REALLY WORRIED for this poor kid, he’s been showing signs of getting sick as they were travelling the snowy wasteland and I hope they can at least get a break now they’ve found this abandoned house to sleep in. BUT NOPE! Alice finds mysterious scary notes with some sort of log of... people...? It definately doesnt feel like just someone recording visitors or survivors they met, its got a weird sort of... priorities, to what was written down. ‘Fem. caucasian. 20s. Compliant. 65lbs.’ And then what struck me as especially weird was that someone would classify a kid as ‘Female. age 7. 21 lbs’ instead of like.. actually writing that it was a kid. This is someone seeing these people as.. merchandise. You never really get an answer in this chapter but I think it’s someone who was offering survivors fake shelter and then cannibalising them T_T The chapter just ends with Alice finding an ambiguously scary room with a bloodstain, but this is the only shelter they have, so all she can do is lock the door again so her kid doesn’t see, and barricade the front door in case this cannibal cult comes back for their home base... *shudder*
* But also seriously, why did I collect like five other red herring letters as well as the cannibal one? And a rusty saw and ammo for a different gun. Was that JUST red herrings or did I miss an optional puzzle?
* Its actually a weird relief to get back out of the flashback and back to our slightly-less-horrible horrible situation in present times. Sure, Alice and Richard are locked in prison, but in this apocolyptic scenario its a relief to be somewhere where you get daily food and working electricity. There’s even a tv that only sometimes doesnt work! And they have each other, and they’re building up a nice friendship now, and it just feels quite optimistic. Richard’s even getting a bit of a crush on Alice, even though the attempts at flirting between the two of them are failing horribly cos they’re both total goobers. i dunno, if they do get together in the end, I totally wouldnt mind it! I dont think its really necessary though.
* Aww but the more we learn about everyone’s backstory, the more I really wanna hug em! We still dont know very much about Richard, but we’ve learned now that he had an ‘average childhood’, at least, by his definition. And he lived in some sort of small country town, and he joined the army in order to see more of the world. But it went really badly and he got sent to prison for rebelling against a superior officer who made a clearly immoral order. JUSTICE FOR RICHARD, GRARR!! And then Alice continues to be way more well developed and interesting, even though I do still feel sympathetic for richard, yknow. Just a lil frustrated that it took us so long to even hear that lil bit about him, when he’s supposed to be the ‘main character’. Seriously he seems like just a framing device for us to talk to alice and see her flashbacks! Anyway, now we’ve learned that Alice didn’t have much of a childhood, because she was hospitalized for a long time. And she talks about how she felt like a burden and felt suicidal and how she never even got to make any friends til she grew up and became a lil more healthy, and then she sorta ended up in an unplanned pregnancy with the first man she ever dated, and never had a chance to pursue her dream career and just... wow Alice dear god, someone up there in the heavens hates you! God, I hope this game has an actual happy ending, please! And also it makes me EVEN MORE WORRIED about what happened to her kid, now im starting to worry if maybe he inherited her childhood disease and like.. it only first started manifesting during the apocolypse and she wasnt able to find a doctor in time.. or something... MAN THIS GAME IS GIVING ME A MILLION WAYS THIS SWEET BOY COULD DIE
* Oh but one random complaint... much as I care about Barney, he kinda isnt a very well written character. They fall into a lot of super outdated ‘fake movieverse child’ cliches instead of like.. bothering to listen to what actual kids talk like. He’s always using that fake cutesy talk like ‘i made you a waffle but i eated it’. Its rather jarring! ...but still I WILL DEFEND MY VIRTUAL SON FOREVER dont you dare kill him off just because his dialogue is poorly informalized!
* The next chapter is kinda boring, its not really even a chapter but just an intermission to show us some more gameplay and nothing else. Richard and Alice do nothing but have an awkward fetch quest to find enough stuff to make a pole to reach the termostat outside the jail cell, and then after all that it ends up failing anyway. I guess at least we do get a bit of character development cos we get to see them both frustrated and having a bit of an argument, then making up again, and etc. But meh, bring on the next actual plot flashback!
* “Why does Daddy live in the ground?”
* thats it im done this is how bunni is slain fucking hell
* god, I dunno if I made the right choice but I chose to be honest with the kid and try and explain what death is. I got to hear the backstory of how the dad died, so i THINk that was the right choice? It seems he died back when barney was too young to even really know him. It was at the start of the apocolypse and the family was doing semi okay living in a shared shelter with a bunch of other people. But then it was the start of government aid breaking down and society crumbling, and a gang stole the last food ration pack from them and the dad thought he could reason with them. And its just so sad cos Alice is thinking of all the ways it could have been prevented! ‘We’ve gotten used to surviving with less now, what if we’d just let that food go? we could have lasted’ And what if they’d shot first and asked questions later, instead of trying to be diplomatic. And apparantly back then things were a little less abd so there actually was a trader they could have got more food from, but resources were limited so they decided it wasnt worth it at the time. And the after the gang killed the dad and some of the other leaders of the shelter group, it seems like things just collapsed in a power struggle and thats how Alice ended up alone... And you just have this sad sidequest to gather flowers for his grave and then Barney is all ‘i dont really know him and i dont understand so i feel bad that i cant cry’ and then he’s asking if dead people can hear you from down in the ground. And I picked being honest again, and Alice didnt say yes or no, she just admitted that nobody really knows what happens after you die, and you have to choose what you want to believe. So Barney chooses to try and tell his dad about how they’re having a good day playing in the snow on this adventure, and Alice tells him that Barney’s grown up so big and strong, and Barney says ‘Yeah! Strong like a lion! Or you, daddy!’ and BUNNI’S SOUL SHATTERS INTO A MILLION PIECES
* i am gone i am deceased at this deceaseness aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
* And there’s like an optional note you can find that tells the story about some unnamed kid who was living alone with their friend Lucy and they were trying to survive without any adults to help, and its all SCARILY VAGUE and I hope we get to learn more about them later cos it just says how the same gang who killed the dad was just.. ominously circling around the area and Lucy was acting weird and then dissappeared, with a letter saying she chose to leave for [insert name of far away settlement here] but it was really suspicious and the unnamed kid thinks that the gang was threatening lucy and they must have kidnapped her and faked this note and then the diary just ENDS it just ends with the kid talking about how much they love lucy and cant live without her and we dont know if they found her or if she even really was kidnapped?? ITS SO VAGUE! its so vague that honestly im only just assuming the diary writer was a kid too, i mean maybe they were lucy’s parent or sibling or something? or maybe both them and lucy are older? but the way it was written sounded like they were like early high schoolers or something (then again this game is bad at writing kid characters so maybe not) I MOURN FOR YOU, UNNAMED DIARY PERSON AND LUCY OF MYSTERY
* OH GOD DOOM when it went back to modern day, now its got all mysterious and weird and sad too, AAAARRRGH the heroes are still in prison, but the guards have stopped coming to their cell and theyre stuck here scared and worrying and you dont know if the obvious has actually happened... i mean maybe the prison has been abandoned or everyone died and now they’re stuck here locked in their cell and AAAA eventually the cold will start seeping in and kill them too and AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
* okay im gonna go get back to playing this game
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from-a-distant-end ¡ 7 years ago
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hello! you all may know me as the person who makes (used to make, more accurately) manga edits for this teeny fandom, or you may know me as this-world-of-his, a somewhat inactive Miharu rp blog, but anywho, I also wrote the first chapter of that Nabari no Ou - Harry Potter crossover 
and since its been years and i couldnt seem to get past the first chapter for anxiety reasons, I figured if anyone was interested still, I could upload the parts I have written already, including wand selection in Diagon Alley, in the train to Hogwarts with Harry, Ron and Hermione and the naberry children I decided to take along with Miharu and Yoite. and I believe other random moments that’ll make its way onto here for you to read as well.
so I’ll upload the parts I find in the order I find them in because my folders are a mess and to sort through them chronologically and upload them in that manner would be time consuming when tbh I’d rather just get it all out there without going through that much trouble. so without further adieu, thank you and I’m sorry. 
“It’s a school?” Yukimi repeated incredulously. “In England. And you want to go?”
“Miharu’s going,” Yoite clarified.
“Oh, is he?” The blond man turned his attention to the youngest ninja sitting contently upon the couch, juice box resting within his grasp. “You’re a member of Kairoushuu, kid. We need you here in Iga and Banten, where eyes can be on you all the time. What happens if some creepy ninja’s in England and kidnaps your guys’ asses, huh? Then what am I supposed to do? I’m not wasting money on airfare to rescue you. How’re you even gonna get there, does the little letter tell you that?”
Miharu nodded, emerald eyes tiredly glued to the baseball game upon the television. “It says transportation is provided. We just wait at the location that’s written and someone will pick us up and take us to… Diagon Alley.”
“I say no. I can’t let you go now, okay? I don’t care how legit this is made out to be. We almost have all the forbidden technique scrolls and as soon as we get our hands on that Engetsurin, we’ll be good to go.”
“He said we’ll be safe there. It’s a magic school, Yukimi. Ninja can’t get in,” Miharu continued. “Something’s coming after us, from their world.”
“You don’t know that. You’re as safe here as you’d be anywhere else in the world. Why listen to that old coot anyhow?”
“He seemed like a real wizard,” the youngest countered bluntly.
Yukimi scoffed. “Do you ever hear yourself, Miharu? Wizards aren’t real. They’re fairy tales; made up.”
“So are ninja, outside the Nabari World,” he defended quietly. “They have their own world too.”
Yukimi appeared unmoved. “You’re not going.”
“We’ll run away.”
“Like hell you will,” he huffed. “Yoite, move. You’re taking up the couch.”
“Let us go,” Yoite demanded lowly, watching the blond plop down beside him.
“Is this some kind of conspiracy? Get off my back. No means no.”
Miharu allowed a small frown to slide onto his features. He slipped off the sofa. “C’mon, Yoite, I think if we get everything packed now, we’ll be ready by the time they come,” Miharu suggested lightly, walking to the jacket he had placed on the coat hanger.
“Kid, would you stop messing around?” Yukimi warned, but nevertheless, rose as well with slight concern the two children in his care would somehow find their own ways to England.
“Will you take us there?”
Yukimi remained still. “What am I supposed to tell your grandma?”
“I’m moving in with you.”
“She doesn’t even know me!”
 ----
They had boarded trains many, many times in the past; living in Japan, that was essential for any traveling one might do. The pair had become glaringly familiar with the processes of departing and arriving. However, the ticket lightly grasped in Miharu’s fingers was surely mistaken in its platform number. He wrinkled his nose, sighing as he lowered it back down to his lap after reading it over for what seemed to be the hundredth time that half-hour.
“I don’t think they numbered it right, Yoite,” Miharu mumbled, absently handing the paper to his companion, eager to release it from his hold. “It says Platform 9¾. Trains aren’t numbered like that in Japan so… What do we do?”
“We could ask someone,” Yoite suggested quietly, his slightly blurred vision scanning the sea of people bustling by, miraculously somehow all unable to crash into one another.
“Okay. Go ahead.”
“You can ask.”
Miharu shook his head silently. “I don’t want to.”
“Me neither.”
“Did you notice a bunch of people would be over there with a lot of stuff and animals,” Miharu pointed towards a brick pillar stranded in the center, “then they’d just be gone? There’re too many people.” Yoite stood, Miharu’s green eyes darting to him in question before rising himself. “And I don’t even see some get on any trains. Where do you want to go?”
“We should look around.”
“Yeah. Maybe we missed it.”
The pair gathered their belongings and proceeded to venture into the mass of wandering train-boarders. The young ninja was sure to catch of glimpse of every platform sign (they walked by seven, eight, nine, and even ten) though it began to make him more and more uneasy about being in England, especially if he and Yoite couldn’t even locate a simple train. How were they supposed to get to their school? Perhaps this was all a joke. Miharu’s heart sank at the notion and fingered the seemingly authentic letter sitting in his pocket, stealing a troubled glance at the older boy.
“Do you want to rest again?” Miharu asked, halting beside Yoite. After making their dawdling round to each of the platforms, according to the ticket, their train was due to head off in less than ten minutes. “We’re gonna be late anyway,” he added bluntly. “We can just call Yukimi and ask him to fly out and get us. Kouichi and Shijima are probably boarded by now. I didn’t charge my cell phone either.” Miharu leaned his back on the brick wall behind him. Perhaps it was better this way, with Yoite’s Kira having so much of an effect on his body. The two of them would be gone for a whole year of school’s time. England’s time, Miharu reminded himself, fighting away an oncoming headache. That included three months off for summer, instead of one in May like in their home in Japan. It would definitely take some getting used to.
However, what would be the point in the end? Yoite wasn’t doing too well as it is, losing more and more of his senses, and… to be so many miles away from home? From comforting walls and floors, and people? And medicine? How long would Yoite even last once they arrived at the school? A month or two? Then what, the older boy… is gone one day,, perished into dust and Miharu would have means to even say goodbye, join him in his last few, precious moments? The school could be huge for all the pair knew. There were too many unanswered questions and Miharu suddenly understood all of Yukimi’s uncertainties and fears. England definitely wasn’t the place to learn dominance over the Fairy. One wrong move without the watchful eyes of hardened allied shinobi and he could topple London with a sneeze.
And being surrounded by magic for as long as their stay? Miharu slowed to a halt and peered at a crack near his shoe. Was that really smart? Was magic anything like chakra? 
“Excuse me, you’re in the way of the entrance,”
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This is why we can't have nice things Gabby. Please read if you have time, just sharing my thoughts a little.
Got assaulted by my sister over a pair of leggins, if she had just let it go i could have looked tomorrow but she had to punch me when i asked her to leave. And i did find a pair of leggins i can't remember if they're mine. So i did the only thing someone salty af would do, marked them with my initials, shoved them in her face and told her they were mine. But as my sister is the biggest failure in humanity i know she still believed they were hers. But it looks like i won for now, She acts as she owns everything in our house including the house itself, she owns 95% in our shared bathroom because she places her million of things on every available space there is and i have one tiny shelf, there's like no reason for me to have anything nice because she will take it. i'm so enclosed and store everything in my own room because sooner or later that shit will disappear. She's disgusting, annoying and the litteral worst type of person there is. So utterly selfish, stuck up, can't think for her self kind of person. And me as her sister is only good for serving her, there's so much fucking wrong and fucked up things with me because i'm not living up to her standards in what a little sister should be. Because apparantly i'm suposed to humor her and agree with everything she says...is she fucking insane? Just because i like sitting around in my underwear and play videogames and my room is "boy-ish" and i only care about essential hygene products and clothes rather then lots of lots of makeup and being a godamn fahsionista i'm not "normal". She calls herself a feminist but shoves that gender role bullshit down my fucking throat. Like different opinions doesn't even exsist in her dictionary, she is correct, she has the only will. Ofc she will think that because she only values her own opinion and can't respect anyone elses. She's like an obstinate fucking toddler and idk how to deal with this. So this scenario when mom bought her some soda, like a 2 L bottle. The one mom bought me today is 1.5 L. I would not say anything because maybe the store only had that soda, or maybe mom just grabbed one, or she didn't remember what she bought and is really tired from work and i'm just glad she didn't forget to pick that soda up from the store. But oh boy, my sister though, she would have screamed bloody murder at mom then start a fucking civil war with me because she wants half of what i have then. I'll still come out with less because she thinks she deserves more. Because it's unfair, well newsflash asshole, life aint fair. It annoys me to death how unacceptable she is of someone having more or better then her..... I don't fucking understand how she thinks, shes so stupid and overdramatic.... She has no fucking shame or compassion or humanity and it's honestly so sad that it is this way. My family is litterly the weirdest collection of selfish, racist, homophobic, biggoted cheating assholes i know and all i can say is thank fucking god i became nothing of that, thank god i don't drink, smoke, do drugs or is a garbage piece of human shit. I have a bad example of pretty much all bad there is in my closest family. I mean, i became a ball of anxiety and depression but hey thats waaaaay better then some fucking redneck biggoted asshole. My family is like a bunch of hardcore christians in a way except it's for the swedish lineage. YOU CAN ONLY BE SWEDISH IN THIS HOUSE. is basicly what my parents say aka i'm banned for speaking another language or things they don't understand or want to hear. I love my dads argument that only retarded fucking toddlers speak english. I would call that a gifted toddler u piece of shit. AHHH MAN, they hate me for being so "cultural" just because i can speak like 3 languages and some fucking latin, because i'm not interested in swedish culture. Because i'm different. Like i said different and different opinions is a bad thing here. And i'm not suprised parents don't understand anything whats going on the times and this world. Stuck in their little rutine and safe bubble of their work and home. Ofc they wont think anything different because they dont get involved with something else. As someone who invests in a lot of time on social media and see a lot of whats going on the world and different cultures and opinions, ofc i would have a broader perspective and way of seeing things. Thats not gonna change. I'm not gonna force any parents to see my way because thats a shitty thing to do. But i just wish, if someone bothered to read all this shit. No matter what, why can't parents be supportive, you don't need to understand it, you don't need be a part of it. Why can't u just tell ur own child like "ohh u wanna do that thing, well good on u! And have fun" is that too much too ask? Supportive parents could change childrens lifes, because no matter what happens you know mom and dad got ur back. So why is it that people like my parents cant even talk to their own kid unless its to relay information about something they have planned, or when they want me to do somethint. They dont ask about me, how im doing or what im thinking. It's probably been 10 years since i last trusted my mom to tell her anything i felt. And ive never talked to my dad that way unless its to defend myself for some bullshit. They cant even remember the names of my friends ive had for the past 7 years. They honestly couldnt give 2 shits about me as a person and it breaks my fucking heart having to deal with this shit. In like 90% of my conversations with my parents its either an argument or im lying trough my teeth to make it seem like im fine, that everything is fine. Because i can't trust the bastards with even my life, which why i fear for my godamn life everyday that they will get tired of me. Which is hella unfair seeming as my sister is barely employed and works like 3 months a year the last 3-4 years. For now i'm being forced to get a drivers license so i can get a job. But when i do get a job and make a decent wage im gonna move into town which litterly makes my cars useless as monthly bus card is probably cheaper then maintaining a car and paying for a parking spot and i would have to look for an apartment with a garage....no thanks..and everyday....just a parking spot at work would be like 1/3 of my salary. Because thise things aint foe free. But i guess i'm gonna be glad once i have a drivers license, even if i dont use it. But i am petty as hell that theyre gonna force it on me and not my sister. If you actually read this you deserve a godamn gold star. Or like an entire cake.
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