#why are you defending AFAB transfem bitches

[lesser-vissir]

Why is it that every time trans women stand up for transfem being a politicized category and not an identity that some intersex moron comes in and talks about how mean "perisex trans women" are.

[lor-e-lai]

Ok, let’s talk earnestly ; Why are you okay with a afab harassing transgender girls? Your bio states you are TMA but you continue to defend and be mutually friendly with a user who hates us, explain.

aite so obviously i dunno who you are and i'm not either of these people and i wanna say come back with a warrant but sure let's have a genuine chat

i know it's considered lame online to ask people to do their own research and actually form an opinion based on the reality of what has happened and whatever power has transacted, but the answer to why i feel the way i feel and think the way i think is just... that.

the trans woman i assume we're talking about lied about a black person online inciting death threats against... the creator of homestuck... when he didn't. she shouldn't have done that, and she really shouldn't have doubled down on the idea that she can't be antiblack (especially in the hilarious way she did it)

what is really challenging to me about this ask is the way it is using its identity markers. you say "afab" like tyler isn't a trans person, you reserve the word "transgender" for the girls you are (i'm assuming, i don't know who you are) are close with or "sided" with. my bio "states" i am TMA because I am. you want a selfie, i'll post a selfie.

i am, also, white, as is the transgender woman i assume we're talking about. an identifier you didn't mention for tyler is that he is black. naturally, as white people it should be our responsibility to listen FIRST AND FOREMOST when a black person tells us we are being antiblack. and yes, that SHOULD trump what we perceive as a transphobic microaggression (obviously violent transphobia we shouldn't ignore it.)

see, if it were as simple as you described it in the ask, i wouldn't be so readily defending someone, but it isn't that simple. because of the way i grew up and the people that taught me to be conscientious and sensitive (all the trans women that personally mentored and supported me were black) i just can't stand the idea of wanton ignorance to the subconscious colorism that informs the actions of people.

i can't really address you, the asker, directly because to me you don't actually exist. the only thing i can tell you is i think the way i do because i love trans people, and i want to be good to people who experience vectors of oppression outside my own lived experience. i find ideas of transfeminine separatism to be contrary to everything i've learned about queer unity and liberation.

do i think tyler shoots his mouth of sometimes? yeah, sure. but that's only an irredeemable crime and "harassment" because he's black and people are willing to ignore his identity as trans. do i think trans women on this site are actively harassed and that this site has a MASSIVE bias against transfem ppl? Duh. But this isn't a symptom of that.

i don't even really know why you want MY opinion on this, i'm just some bitch, but there you go. if you wanna talk more you can dm me as long as its in good faith

[unhinged-transmasc-man]

Most of the underlying logic of who gets targeted is "look at these delusional stupid attention-seeking faker girls who wanna be special". Surprise surprise, it's misogyny, which is part of anti-transmasculinity as well. The idea that womanhood and femininity is "inherently more queer and morally pure" means that anyone afab who has a non-woman or masculine/male-leaning identity (especially trans men) are automatically viewed with suspicion and bigotry for being gender traitors. It's a combination of radfem and exclusivity poison.

There's a reason that trans radfems are taking a slur invented by 4chan incels (theyfab) and using it gleefully, when that wouldn't be acceptable in any other circumstance. They aren't just using it towards afab nonbinary people, they're using "theyfab" (along with this TME nonsense) specifically towards trans MEN as a form of violent defending and misgendering. "You aren't real men, you delusional little bitch, except you are also a dangerous predatory male for existing even while I'm actively misgendering you, and it's actually transmisogynistic for you to oppose me using slurs specifically invented by 4chan incels against you. Don't you know you're stealing transfem valor by saying TMEs face transphobia? Transphobia is a LIE created by trans men to disguise that they benefit from oppressing trans women, only trans women face transphobia." (I've seen this last one practically verbatim, absolute wild).

Afab trans people (specifically trans men), bi people, and ace people are considered both overly powerful and influential and oppressive, and also a tiny minority leeching off the "real oppressed queers" (aka trans women who have chosen the "right gender" and cis fem lesbians for being morally pure and only associating with women and femininity, which is why butches are so demonized for liking masculinity). This is fascism!

In the end, it's just the "whiny sjw blue hair and pronouns" that conservatives do, except reinvented to be about "protecting real queer people".

Every few years there’s a shift in the discourse where someone decides that there’s a group of queers who aren’t “really” queer and for reasons unknown decided that they will focus all of their discourse on trying to discredit that one group.

It used to be “straight passing” bisexuals. Then it was “Theyfabs�� and “transtrenders”. Then it was “hetero aces.” Now it’s “transmisogyny-exempt” people. And the thing you find every time is that the people writing angry multi-paragraph screeds about how these “invaders” are “stealing resources” or “silencing people” but they can never actually point to more than one or two examples, at best, of this happening.

But if you repeat something enough with a strong enough conviction in your voice, people will pretty much always be willing to think you’re right, even when you aren’t.

This is the basis of fascism. Exclusionary rhetoric is fascist. No one is immune to this thought process. You have to actively work on avoiding it.

“Did you just call me a fascist because I’m concerned with TME people silencing trans women” i mean, yeah. I did. Fix yourself, and I’ll be willing to talk to you again. I won’t apologize for what I said, mind you. But you can always fix yourself.

I used to think like that. I used to talk about how you “need dysphoria to be trans” and how bi people can “pass as straight” and how trans men “take up our space.” And I was wrong about all that.

There’s enough space in the queer community for everyone. We are always stronger when we understand this. Please, look towards unity rather than division. Fix yourselves.

Being wrong doesn’t make you a bad person. Changing your views is not evidence of weakness. Your friends will still live you if you change. Please.