#why are y'all getting so damn pressed about me jokingly saying

[shinxeysartgallery]

You DO realize that its not actually shard thats coming to speed battle right? Thats metal 3.0

he's not coming back. get over it fan brat

Did I not literally refer to him as Metal Sonic 3.0 in the first fucking line of that post? (https://www.tumblr.com/shinxeysartgallery/748519077573804032/holy-shit-metal-sonic-30-not-a-skin-i-expected)

Look! You can even see it in the URL! You don't even have to actually click on it to see that I said that!

Me saying I could "pretend Shard was alive again" was meant as a joke; I know it's not actually him. The whole context for that was based off the fact that Shard's design was based off of Metal Sonic 3.0. They're both totally separate characters though. That would be like me saying that Surge and Starline are also the same characters as the Ashura and Wechidna glitches, respectively, because that's what they were inspired by. That's stupid.

I already know they killed him off because of the mandates and that it's also why a character like him can't ever exist again. And I also know they'll never bring him back because the Archie canon is dead and discontinued, resulting in all Archie-exclusive characters being effectively dead and disallowed from canonical use. That's not going to stop me from making jokes, AUs, or the like though.

"Get over it fan brat" why don't you get a fucking life instead of bitching in peoples' inboxes over trivial shit like making an obvious joke about a character skin? Go touch some grass for god's sake; y'all are terminally online.

[panda-writes-kpop]

Gunslinger! Dami - Glitter ‘n Gold

A/N: Hi guys, girls, and non-binary pearls! I cannot believe that it's been a year since Shoot To Kill has come out. Where has the time gone?!?!? Anyways, that is currently my favorite Dami fic (currently is the key word because y'all are in for a treat come Dami's birthday 😉), so I had to write some additional fluff for it! It isn't as long as the original, but I love it just the same. ❤️ (Random fun fact: Shoot To Kill was the first fic of mine that included curse words lol.)

TW: Heavy spoilers for the first part, guns, barfights, someone gets shot, doctors, needles, threats, blood, a lil' angst but mostly fluff, cursing, attempted use of Southern slang, someone is also held against their will and interrogated, Villain! SuA (obviously she doesn't act like this irl, it's just for the sake of the story and ✨️ dramatic tension ✨️)

Summary: Our favorite gunslinger comes back into town - only to meet up with an old "friend" who isn't about exchanging pleasantries. After a quick scuffle and a trip to the doctor's, Dami has to take care of business on a trip that was supposed to be about being around you. That, however, does not stop Dami from pulling you deeper into her orbit and the world that she lives in as someone who's sworn to protect this stretch of the world from the bandits who have been hurting them for years.

♡ Masterlist ♡

“Put your goddamn hands in the air!” The brown-haired woman with the bandana over her mouth screams.

Gahyeon side-eyes you before placing her hands in the air. You, on the other hand, scoff and shake your head.

“You pesky bandits never learn your lesson, huh? Pathetic.” You spit at the woman’s shoes, and she angrily grabs the fabric of your shirt.

“Do you have a death wish?”

“Yeah, Y/N, do you?” Gahyeon jokingly asks as you watch her grab a gun from under the counter.

The woman focuses her attention on you as she pulls her mask down.

“Do you know who I am?”

“Am I supposed to?” You roll your eyes before the woman presses the barrel of her gun to your forehead.

You nervously bite your lip as she harshly laughs.

“Now you’re scared, huh? I’ll cut to the chase - tell your woman that she owes us money for the services we provided her with or next time, we take your body as payment.”

“What woman are you talking about? A lot of women find me charming, if you know what I mean~” You wiggle your eyebrows at her as she scoffs.

“God, you really are dumb! I’m tellin’ the boss about this, I hope you know.”

Gahyeon brandishes her gun and points it in the direction of the woman.

Unfortunately for you, the woman buries the barrel into your hair before turning the two of you towards Gahyeon.

“I wouldn’t try nothin’, miss, unless you want a bullet in their pretty lil’ skull.”

The doors to the saloon slam open, and you dryly laugh as Gahyeon gasps.

“Put the gun down, SuA.” Dami says before aiming her own gun towards SuA.

SuA chuckles before turning you and her towards Dami.

“Do you have the money you owe us, sweetheart?”

Dami scoffs at the thought.

“As if I’d give common thieves any of my hard-earned money.”

“And to think that long ago, we used to be sisters, Dami. What happened?”

“I changed and became a better person. You didn’t.”

Dami sighs before she turns the safety off on her gun.

“Last chance, SuA. Put the damn gun down. I’m not playin’ your games.”

SuA lets out a villainous laugh.

“I don’t think you understand what’s going on here. I have something you want, right?” She gently traces your face with the barrel of her gun, and you flinch as the gun stops right under your chin.

Dami looks unbothered, but her grip on the weapon in her hands has tightened a lot.

“If you harm even a single hair on their head, I’ll tell Siyeon everything.”

SuA stops at the mention of that name.

Who are either of these women, and why are they coming after me and Dami?

“You wouldn’t dare.” She hisses, but Dami does not give in.

“Try me. You know how good my words are, SuA.”

SuA pauses for a moment before shaking her head.

“Boss’ll have my head in a noose, so I’m afraid that I can’t help you there, Dami. It was nice seeing you, though.”

Within a second, SuA pulls her gun away from you, turns toward Gahyeon, and fires the gun in her direction. Gahyeon screams in pain when the bullet hits her, and she drops the gun. Another shot is fired, but your ears are still ringing from the last one, so you can’t tell if it’s from SuA or Dami.

What you do know is that SuA’s grip on you has lessened, so you throw your elbow into her stomach. She stumbles back and lets go of you, which allows you to grab the gun that Gahyeon dropped.

You look at Gahyeon, who holds her bleeding arm. She musters a smile, and you reciprocate one back to her.

“Get her back for me, ok?”

You toss her a nearby bar towel before nodding.

“Keep pressure on the wound. I’ll be back in a second.”

You turn back to see Dami and SuA walk towards each other. SuA tosses her gun on the ground, and a wicked smile is on her face.

“No guns, okay? Let’s have a bar fight, like the good ol’ times.”

Dami sighs before discarding her gun as well.

“I’m not showing you any mercy.”

“I wouldn’t expect you to.” SuA looks over to you with that sickening smile on her face. “You can shoot me after we’re done, sweetheart. I just want to give her the beatin’ that my boss asked me to give her.”

Dami softly laughs.

“You’ve never won a bar fight before, SuA.”

“I’ve never won a drunken bar fight.” SuA corrects Dami before raising her fists up. “Let’s dance.”

You cautiously set the gun down as Gahyeon winces.

“You doin’ ok?”

“Not really. It’s not everyday you get shot, ya know?” She laughs before hissing in pain. “Why aren’t you watchin’ the fight?”

“I don’t want to, Gahyeon. Simple as that.”

“Yeah, I don’t know if I would want to see my girlfriend kick someone’s ass, either.”

You glance back at Sua and Dami, only to see that SuA has already been knocked to the ground.

That didn’t take long.

“What’re you gonna do, Dami? Kill me? We both know you don’t have the guts to do that.” SuA weakly says as Dami smirks before pulling SuA’s hair so their eyes would meet.

“Of course not. I’m just going to send a message.”

“And that would b-” SuA isn’t able to finish her sentence as Dami lands another punch, which knocks her out.

You wince and Gahyeon cheers as Dami lets go of her.

You immediately stand up and walk towards her. When you get close, Dami visibly relaxes before grabbing your waist. You cup her face and stare into her eyes for much longer than you probably should have.

“Oh, Dami…” You trail off as you notice a small cut on her lip.

“She played dirty. If you knew her, it wouldn’t surprise you.” Dami shows you a small cut on her hand before pointing to the small blade in SuA’s hand.

“I’m glad you’re okay.” You softly mutter before pressing a kiss to her cheek. “I worry about you a lot, Dami.”

A light smile plays on her face.

“Me too, Y/N, me too.”

“HELLOOOOO?!?!” Gahyeon yells. “Listen, lovebirds, I’d love to sit and watch you flirt with each other, but I am currently bleeding out and I think your happy lil’ reunion can wait a few moments!!”

~

“My goodness, Dami, you really ought to send a letter the next time you come to town. That’s so I can prepare myself for any bodily harm that comes my way.” Gahyeon jokes as you and Dami carry her to the doctor’s in the dead of the night. “I thought gettin’ beat up was bad, but man, does a bullet to the arm hurt like a bitch!”

“Yeah, that’s why people usually try to avoid being shot.” You dryly comment, which causes Dami to laugh.

“You didn’t even sweat when she held a gun to your temple, Y/N! Believe it or not, some of us actually fear death!” Gahyeon angrily says before loudly huffing. “JiU’s gonna kill me…”

“No, she’s going to sigh deeply and give you a disappointed look.” You correct Gahyeon, who shakes her head.

“Yeah, and then I get lectured for an hour to ‘make more responsible decisions’.” Gahyeon rolls her eyes at those last few words.

“Is she wrong, though?” You tease as Gahyeon scoffs.

“Your girlfriend-”

“-saved our asses, so I’d be saying ‘thank you’ instead of whinin’ and complain’.”

“Ugh, fine,” Gahyeon tilts her head towards Dami, “thanks for helping, I guess.”

“It’s my pleasure, Gahyeon, although I wish you hadn’t gotten shot.”

“Me too!” Gahyeon exclaims as you hold back your laughter.

“Is this… JiU a friend of yours?” Dami asks, and you nod.

“Yeah, she’s just a few years older than us. When we were kids, JiU used to babysit and take care of Handong, Gahyeon, and I when we were ill. If you had known her for as long as Gahyeon and I have, you’d see why being a doctor is right in her wheelhouse.”

Gahyeon’s eyes shine with excitement.

“Y/N, do you think she has the cherry lollipops?”

You can’t help but laugh at Gahyeon’s cuteness.

“You’ll have to just wait and see.”

Gahyeon pouts, and you find that the three of you have started walking in a comfortable silence. That gives you time to think, but you’re not sure if that’s a good thing or not.

SuA knew Dami… I wonder if that was one of the members of the outlaw gang that Dami was once a part of. It feels improper to ask now, but I want to bring it up sooner rather than later.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Dami asks, and you offer her a warm smile.

“It’s nothing, really.”

“Are you sure? You looked deep in thought.”

Should I say something now, or should I wait?

You shake your head before responding.

“Yeah, I’m good, Dami. Thanks for asking, though.”

~

The three of you stop at JiU’s front door. You carefully lean forward and knock on the door while trying to balance Gahyeon in yours and Dami’s arms.

“You think she’s up?” Gahyeon softly asks before you hear shuffling come from the inside of the house.

“Well, she is now.” You mutter before JiU opens the door.

She sighs deeply before opening the door wide enough for the three of you to enter.

“Set her in the guest bedroom. I’ll grab my supplies from the bathroom.” JiU instructs as you and Dami head towards the bedroom.

Once you reach the bed, you both gently set Gahyeon down. You roll your shoulders a couple of times in order to get the pain out of them, but Dami seems completely unaffected by the matter.

“I’m back.” JiU says while entering the room. “Where’s the wound?”

“Right forearm.” Gahyeon says before untying the towel from the wound.

JiU gasps before opening her medical bag.

“This is going to hurt, Gahyeon, but bear with me.”

“I’ll do my best, doc!” Gahyeon gives her a cheerful smile as you walk over to Dami.

“Can we talk in private for a moment?” You softly say, as not to alarm Gahyeon or JiU.

“Not a fan of medical procedures?” Dami teasingly smiles at you, and you shake your head at her.

“C’mon- I’m serious, honey.” You calmly say.

“Lead the way, darlin’.”

You take her hand before turning to JiU.

“I’ll make you a cup of tea as thanks, JiU.”

“I’d appreciate that, Y/N, because I don’t think Gahyeon wants me putting stitches in her while I’m still tired.”

“I need stitches!?!?” Gahyeon yells before squirming on the bed.

“-And that’s our cue to leave.” You blow a kiss to Gahyeon, who rolls her eyes at you, and you then exit with Dami in tow.

As soon as you’re out of earshot of JiU and Gahyeon, the question that’s been on your mind comes straight out of your mouth.

“You knew SuA on a personal level, right?” You stop walking once you reach the kitchen, and you let go of Dami’s hand as you throw a couple of pieces of firewood into the barely-lit fireplace.

“I’d figured you or Gahyeon would ask, but yes, I was friends with her when we were in that outlaw gang.”

“Why didn’t you tell me that you owed them money, Dami?” You gently ask before grabbing a kettle from a cupboard.

“I don’t owe them anything, sweetheart.” Dami lightly scoffs. “Is that what she told you?”

“Yeah, and something else.” You mutter under your breath as you grab some tea leaves from a jar on the counter.

“What else did she tell you? I know for a fact that SuA is not a woman who just shows up and demands payment.”

“I- She-” You bite your lip and sigh before filling the kettle with water. “She said that if you didn’t pay them, they’d take me as payment the next time she showed up.”

Dami immediately walks over to you with a worried look on her face.

“What!? Are you serious?”

“Yes, Dami, I am!” You turn to her with tears in your eyes. “They said they’d kill me!”

You place the kettle down before Dami pulls you into her arms.

“Oh, my love… I can’t imagine what you were thinking at that moment.”

“I’m scared, honey, I really am. Gahyeon might think I’m fearless, but she doesn’t know that I put up one hell of a front for her sake.”

Dami gently runs one hand through your hair as another rubs your back.

“I’ll take care of this, I promise.”

“Are you going to leave me again, Dami?” You gently ask while looking her in the eyes.

She shakes her head before reassuring you.

“If I go anywhere, you’re coming with me. I refuse to have any harm come to you or anyone you care about.”

“Dami!” You exclaim before letting the tears fall down your face.

“I’m right here, Y/N.” She softly whispers. “I’ll always be here when you need me most.”

~

You link arms with Dami as she carries a tray of full tea cups.

“Thank you, Dami.” You say before opening the door for her.

She offers you a slight smile before turning to JiU.

“Here’s your tea, JiU.”

“Ah, thank you, Y-” She pauses while reaching for the cup. “I’m sorry, but I don’t believe we’ve met before.”

“That would be correct.” Dami sets a tea cup on the nightstand for Gahyeon before offering you one.

You warmly smile at her before taking the cup from her hands. Dami grabs the final cup and sets the tray down as JiU takes a sip of the tea.

“That’s a good thing because being someone I know is not a good thing.” JiU jokes as Gahyeon softly whines.

“JiU, you’re so mean to me!”

“I think you’re forgetting that I haven’t even told you off yet…”

You watch Gahyeon becomes pale at the thought of one of JiU’s lectures.

“Sorry, JiU.” Gahyeon curtly responds.

“This is Dami,” You say to JiU, “and she’s the girl I’ve been talking to you about.”

“Ah, I see. You’re the one she’s been hopelessly in love with for so long. I’ve been wondering when I would meet the person who made Y/N write all of those love letters~” She teases you as you start to stammer.

“Ji-JiU!”

“I found them to be quite endearing and charming, like Y/N themselves.” Dami wistfully says.

You nearly spit out your tea as Gahyeon laughs at you.

“Aww, is our Y/N flustered?”

“You better watch it before I tell JiU to add more alcohol to your wound.” You say as Gahyeon shrinks into herself.

“There’s no need to be violent, you two.” JiU warns before pulling out a needle and thread.

“Oh God, this is the worst part!” Gahyeon laments as you reach over and squeeze her hand.

“Good luck, Gahyeon. I think you’ll have earned yourself a couple of cherry lollipops after all of this.”

“No, Y/N, I want the whole bag!” She yells as you set your tea cup on the nightstand, right next to Gahyeon’s cup.

Dami places one hand on your shoulder before wrapping the other around your waist.

JiU smiles at the two of you before beginning to work on Gahyeon.

“You, Y/N, and your lover are too cute!”

~

“That was fuckin’ awful!” Gahyeon mutters as JiU puts the last of her equipment away.

“Do I need to lecture you about your language too, or is the one about your personal safety enough?”

Gahyeon nervously laughs before profusely apologizing, and JiU chuckles before shushing her.

“I was kidding, Gahyeon. I think the bullet wound is enough of a consequence for you.”

“Do we need to look out for any infections, JiU?” You softly ask.

“No, but I appreciate the concern for Gahyeon’s well-being.” JiU sends a sharp, noticeable glare to Gahyeon before continuing. “She can stay with Yoohyeon for the time being.”

“Yoohyeon?! Does this mean I have to eat her cookin’?”

“Be nice, Gahyeon, especially since she offered to take you in.” JiU softly says.

“I can’t take her to my place?” You ask, and Dami confusedly looks at you.

“Your place?”

“Yeah,” You smile at her for a moment, “I finally got the courage to get my own place. It’s right in town, too.”

“That’s great, Y/N.”

Dami’s encouraging smile makes your heart flutter, and Gahyeon smirks before laughing.

“I guess all of those talks about marriage and settling down weren’t just empty promises~”

“Gahyeon!” You yell before looking away in embarrassment. “I think she’s feelin’ well enough to walk herself to Yoohyeon’s house.”

“I agree. I can take her there, though, if you want.” JiU offers, but Dami is quick to respond.

“We’re going to need you to come with us.”

“And why would that be?” JiU asks.

Dami shakes her head.

“Somebody had to give her the bullet wound, and I think Y/N will agree with me that they’re in much worse shape than Gahyeon is.”

~

“Oh my God…” JiU trails off as she notices SuA tied to a chair in the back of Handong’s bakery. “What did Gahyeon do to her?”

“That wasn’t Gahyeon, doc.” You mutter as JiU gasps.

“Dami, you…” JiU trails off as Dami looks away in shame. “You know what? It doesn’t matter. I just need to fix her up and then I’m free to go, right?”

You hum in response, and JiU quickly gets to work as Handong approaches you and Dami.

“You two owe me big time for this one.”

“Yeah, I’m well aware of that, Dongie. What do you need?” You ask.

“I want one of those peacemaker guns that you and Dami have.”

You nod your head.

“I’ll talk to Gahyeon’s dad, and I’ll see what I can get around for ya.”

“Thanks, Y/N.” Handong says before turning to Dami. “It’s been rough around these parts, in case you haven’t heard.”

“In what ways?” Dami softly inquires.

“Well, there’s been more bandits comin’ around and tryin’ to rob me blind. I can’t take it any more, so that’s why I’m askin’ for a gun. Alongside that… business has been slowly goin’ downhill since…” Handong trails off as tears start to build her eyes. “Sorry, I shouldn’t be cryin’ like this in front of you.”

Dami looks towards Handong before looking back at you.

“What happened?”

Of course Dami would want to know. That’s why you and Handong haven’t talked in months, but you don’t want to tell yourself that.

You start to become uncomfortable as Handong wipes tears from her eyes. You wrap your arms around yourself before biting your lip.

“It’s better if Handong explains. It’ll come out worse than I mean if I talk about it.” You explain before glancing at JiU and SuA.

“Y/N, you can talk about-”

“No, Handong, you should talk about her. She’s your grandmother, remember?” You shake your head before sighing. “I’m gonna get some fresh air. You can come and get me when SuA’s conscious.”

You go to walk out, but Dami grabs your arm.

“You don’t want me to go with you?”

“No, you need to hear what Handong has to say.” You squeeze her hand before pulling her hand off of your arm.

You manage to turn away from the both of them before the tears start freely flowing down your face. You make it outside of the bakery before you hurriedly sit on the ground in an effort to calm yourself.

The bright moonlight seems bleak as the rest of the world seems to be silent in the wake of your misery.

It’s only fitting that no one is here to see what I’ve become - what her death has made of the person inside of me.

You pull your knees towards your chest before you close your eyes. The tears won’t stop coming out of your eyes, even as you wish for them to stop.

It’s hard for me to admit that I miss someone who never even really loved me. I was the adopted child - the one she never asked for nor wanted. Ms. Betty always took care of me, even though I wasn’t her favorite. In her own way, she loved me.

…I couldn’t stand to live in the bakery after her death, so I moved out. Handong and I grew apart - we didn’t feel like siblings anymore, and that hurt the most. She was one of the few people that really cared about me, and it’s a tough pill to swallow. We don’t talk or joke everyday like we used to. How has everything changed so much yet so little at the same time?

“Y/N, darlin’, where are you?” Dami’s voice permeates through your thoughts as you open your eyes.

“Over here.” You weakly call out before pulling yourself off of the ground.

You wipe a few tears from your eyes, and you notice that they’ve finally stopped flowing from your eyes. You shiver as a cold breeze suddenly hits you.

Why didn’t I think to keep a jacket with me?

“Y/N, I-” Dami pauses for a moment, “Handong told me everything.”

“I figured.” You mutter softly.

“You’ve changed and gone through so much, my love. I wish I could’ve been there for ya.” Dami steps closer to you as you turn to her.

“How have I changed? Is it a bad thing?” You start to grow worried as Dami quickly grabs your hand.

“No, no… that’s not what I meant. You’ve… matured a lot, even though you were mature when I first met you. Something seemed different about you, but I couldn’t quite place my finger on it.”

You intertwine your fingers with hers as you take your free hand and place it on her cheek. You cup her cheek and begin to absentmindedly rub your thumb back and forth.

“You don’t mind the changes?”

Dami takes her other hand and places it over the one that rests on her face.

“At this point, there’s very little you could say or do to make me love you any less.”

You raise an eyebrow at her statement.

“Are you sure about that?”

“Positively. Unless you’re going to be someone like SuA or any other bandit, then you’ll always be the one for me.”

“You always know just what to say, you know?” You laugh softly as Dami smiles at you.

“It’s a gift that I’m more than happy to spoil you with.”

“Alright, you charmer, let’s go back in before we catch somethin’ out here.” You let Dami guide you back inside, but you stop at the doorway.

Dami notices, and she turns back to look at you.

“Do you need someth-”

You softly kiss her lips before placing one hand on her waist. She responds by kissing your back and placing a hand on your chest.

As you pull back, Dami can’t help but chuckle to herself.

“What’re you laughin’ at, huh?” You jokingly scoff before pushing her away from you.

She can’t help but smile as she pulls you back towards her.

“I might know exactly what to say to you, but you somehow always know what to do in order to make my heart race. Consider yourself lucky, Y/N.”

~

“Is she up?” You ask as you and Dami re-enter the back of the bakery.

“Why don’t you ask her yourself?” Handong says as JiU backs away from SuA.

“Ah, is this really how you treat your guests? How rude of you, Dami~”

You squeeze Dami’s hand, and she gently squeezes your hand back.

“Who sent you, SuA?”

“Wait, you two know each other?” Handong stares at Dami in disbelief.

“You don’t need to be here, Hando-”

“I’m staying right here as long as SuA, or whoever the hell she is, is in my bakery.” Handong defensively says as JiU waves at you and Dami.

“Let me know if you need me again.” JiU quickly says before slipping out of the bakery.

“Where’s the doc goin’?” SuA asks with a grin on her face. “I enjoyed seein’ her pretty face.”

“JiU has a sixth sense for being able to detect violence before it’s goin’ to happen.” You sternly say as Handong tries to hold back her laughter.

“Yeah, that’s true.”

“SuA, who sent you?” Dami takes a step towards SuA, who simply laughs.

“You and I both know exactly who did it.”

Dami sighs before shaking her head.

“That’s what I was afraid you would say.”

“You mind fillin’ me in here, Y/N?” Handong exasperatedly says.

“Dongie, Dami used to be a part of a group of infamous bandits before she broke off from them. SuA, as you can probably guess, is a member of that group of outlaws.”

“Why didn’t you say that before? I would’ve ended her way before you even got to the doctor’s with Gahyeon!”

“Dami said she wanted to talk to SuA to see if she could get anything out of her.”

“I won’t tell you a damn thing. You can hurt me as you may please, but that won’t stop them from getting them what you owe them.” SuA dryly says.

“What do I owe them, SuA?” Dami probes as SuA scoffs.

“The money for takin’ you in as a runaway. Kids aren’t cheap, ya know?”

“Don’t you make plenty by schemin’ and hurtin’ innocent people?”

“You’re really gonna pull that morality shit on me, huh? Fine, since we’re on the topic of morals… how do you sleep at night, knowin’ you killed a man?” SuA leers, which causes Dami to flinch.

You immediately let go of Dami’s hand before walking towards SuA.

“That’s enough from you.”

“Oh, and what else do you have to say, you-”

SuA stops talking the moment you wrap your fingers around her neck.

“Dami might be nice enough to give you mercy, but I won’t hesitate to put you six feet under if you fuck with me or anyone else I care about again. Are we clear?” You hiss as SuA gets in your face.

“You’re bold, huh? I like people like that~” SuA suggestively raises her eyebrows as you immediately let go of her throat.

“God, you’re disgusting.” You roll your eyes before walking back to Dami.

“Only for you, sweetheart~”

“Okay, now you’ve successfully pissed me off.” Handong steps towards SuA as SuA decides to jeer at Handong.

“What are you going to do to me? You work in a bakery!”

SuA immediately eats her words as Handong slaps SuA across the face. You gasp in surprise as Handong, trying to be intimidating, leans over SuA

“That’s what I’ll do to you, and I won’t hesitate to do more. Like Y/N said, we aren’t the saviors from storybooks with good morals. You mess with the bulls here, and you get stabbed with the horns.” Handong threatens as SuA recovers from the slap.

“Do your worst, bakery girl.”

“Oh, believe me, I will,” She grumbles before walking away from SuA, “but for now, I’ll leave you be.”

“I’m surprised you didn’t try to stop me or Handong.” You mutter under your breath as you take Dami’s hand in yours.

“I don’t think either of you mean what you say, but I can only hope that SuA believes every word of it.” Dami whispers back before rubbing her thumb back and forth across your hand.

“Me too, Dami, me too.”

“What’s the plan now, you guys? Talkin’ didn’t work, and neither did the threatenin’. Guess you all are as useless as you look.”

Ding!

A light smirk plays on your lips as you look towards Handong.

“Won’t you get the door for us, Handong?”

Handong smiles back at you.

“It’d be my pleasure.”

“What are you two doing?” Dami softly asks as SuA looks around the bakery.

“Apparently, Yoohyeon was tryin’ to organize a music festival in town in order to drive more business here. In doing so, she managed to capture the attention of one of the most popular acts out there - The Songbird herself, Siyeon.”

“Siyeon’s here?” Dami asks loudly, and you can’t help but smile as SuA squirms in her seat.

“Yup, she was staying with Yoohyeon for a few days in order to figure out the finer details, but Siyeon was more than happy to come over here when she heard that her beloved SuA was in town.”

“I-I’ll do anything for you guys! Just let me go so she doesn’t know about me bein’ a crook and thief!” SuA yells as she tries and fails to get out of her rope handcuffs.

“You tell your employers that Dami is more than willin’ to pay for the debts if they’ll stop shootin’ and hurtin’ every innocent person just for a chip to cash in.” Dami says as SuA violently shakes her head.

“They’ll never agree to that!”

“Then you better figure out where you’re gonna get that money from… unless you want your head to be on the choppin’ block.”

“Got it! Just let me goooo!” SuA whines as you slowly walk over to her.

“Don’t even think about pullin’ anything, alright?” You mutter before untying her.

SuA nods her head over and over until you’ve finished untying her. Once the final rope lets go of her, SuA immediately runs out towards the front of the bakery.

You hear her excitedly greet someone, and they talk for a little while before leaving the bakery.

“That worked out better than I thought it would’ve.” You say as Dami nods in agreement.

“I couldn’t have done it without you, Y/N. Thank you for stayin’ by my side, and for standin’ up for me. I appreciate it.”

“It’s no problem, Dami… I just wish that you didn’t have to work while you’re visitin’ me.”

“Nothin’ feels like work when I’m with you, darlin’. Besides, don’t you have a house tour to give?”

Your eyes light up in excitement as you start to lead Dami towards the house you own.

“I can’t wait to show you what I’ve done with the place. It really feels like my home now.”

Dami raises an eyebrow at you.

“Don’t you mean our home?”

You look away for a moment, flustered, before smiling at Dami.

“Of course I did! What was I thinking?”

[romanstheory]

Best Friend a Damian Priest One Shot

Warnings : Smut, Fluff, Language, Risk of Being Caught, Nipple play, Size Kink

Word Count : 1,103

18 +

This is abnormally long for what I usually do for these but I was real into it 😂

Damian and I have been best friends since NXT. We had a break from communication once I got called up to debut on RAW while he was still waiting his turn. The day he debuted we reconnected like we had never taken a break. We go together like bread and butter, the perfect match. I started off as a sort of shy girl, small and silent unless spoken to. Damian has always been quite the opposite, loud, tall, and the life of the party. He brought out my voice, he's my favorite person. A few RAW superstars decided to get to the next city a couple days early and get an air bnb together. We all decided we should treat ourselves after an amazing Wrestlemania weekend.

Damian has just joined forces with Edge and I've just won the RAW Women's Championship. We're both on a high, and who better to share that with than your close friends? "You need any help?" Damian asks me as we both get out of the car, we've just arrived at the air bnb. "I'm a big girl, I think I got it" I say jokingly as I go to the trunk to get my bag. We're the last to arrive, so we're greeted by all of our friends. "There they go!" Angelo Dawkins says loudly with a drink in his hand. "What's up man!" Damian says pulling him into a hug. "Girl you look so good! Hi!" Bianca says smiling. "Hey beautiful!" I reply with a smile. "Aye so we already got our rooms, we figured y'all would be fine sharing a room. It's at the end of the hall to the right" Montez Ford says from the sofa.

"I mean I don't care, do you?" Damian says looking down at me. "No, I don't mind" I say as we walk down the hall. My mind couldn't help but wonder how these next few days would go. He's my best friend, but we've never shared a room together. Sometimes in hotels we would do those weird connected rooms but that was as close as it got. The room has one bed and a pull out couch "I can sleep on the couch" Damian offers. "Okay" I say softly. Damian looks over at me "What's wrong mami? You look like you just saw a ghost" He asks me. "Just... Thinking is all" I reply. "If you're afraid of the dark, I'll keep you safe" Damian says with a chuckle and a wink. We join the rest of the superstars for a night full of laughs and fun. Damian kept being subtly flirty with me all night, and I would be a liar if I said I didn't enjoy it.

The guys all went to go night swimming, leaving all of the girls inside. "So are we gonna talk about how Damian clearly wants you or not?" Zelina says looking at me while taking a sip of her wine. "Girl I mean it's real obvious" Bianca adds. "We're best friends, we're just close" I reply quickly. "He wants to be close alright" Zelina jokes. The guys come in and my eyes immediately go to Damian. His tall stature and tattooed body sends shockwaves through me. I've never looked at him like this before, but damn he's sexy. We shower and get ready for bed, Damian tosses the pillows off of the sofa to pull out the bed. "Why don't you just sleep up here" I quickly offer. "Scared of the dark?" Damian says jokingly before plopping down on the bed next to me. We get under the blankets and he wraps his big arm around me.

I swear it felt like my heart skipped a beat in that moment. I laid my head on his chest "I like you" Damian says into the darkness "A lot". My heart felt like it was going to pound out of my chest "I like you too" I say to him softly as I flick the lamp next to me on. Damian pulls me into a soft kiss, his big hand cupping my face. All I could think about was him on top of me, pressing his body against my short frame. My hands explore his penis over his night pants causing it to become stiff. He pulls down my loose top, exposing my breasts as he softly pinches and twirls them between his fingers. He bends down, and flicks my nipple back and forth with his warm tongue. I'm already filling with lust. We slip our clothes off, I cant help but admire his body again.

His tattoos fit his body seamlessly. "I'll be gentile, I don't wanna hurt you" He says as he plants another kiss on my lips, slowly making his was on top of me. I can hear voices outside of our door, people are having conversations. I can feel the warmth of his erect penis at the entrance of my vagina. His massive frame hovers over me as my body relaxes in anticipation for what's next. He kisses my lips and trails then down my neck, ending at my breasts. He pushes himself into me and immediately I moan loudly. "Shhhh shh" Damian says quietly. He begins stroking slowly, seemingly out of fear that he may snap me in half. I lift my legs up above his head, allowing him to stroke deeper. "Shit you're so wet! Oh Dios!" Damian groans softly.

The headboard bangs against the wall and the bed creaks as Damian gives me deep strokes. He begins to sweat as our bodies collide. I can't control my moaning, it get louder and louder before Damian covers my mouth. "Shhhh" Damian says again to me. I can't help it, he fit inside me perfectly, his penis curved up naturally stroking my g spot. It's like our bodies were made for each other. My climax is approaching and I can tell his is too. I begin stroking my clit to reach it faster. Soon I practically scream into Damian's hand as I reach my climax. My creamy juices wrap around his penis as he continues stroking, making that noise mac and cheese makes when you stir it. Damian begins breathing hard as he pulls out of me quickly, shooting his load onto the towel laying on the bed next to us.

He takes his hand off of my mouth and kisses me again. "That was hot" He says smiling at me. The two of us cuddle for the rest of the night, my head on his chest as I drift off to sleep. Damn that was good.

[scandeniall]

cooking with the boyfriends

With Osamu, Atsumu, Suna, Iwaizumi

notes: I was forced to help cook tonight and thought about cooking with some boys and right now i find drabbles to be very fun to writeso here we are with another disaster by ri :)

Osamu: Can I start this list without putting osamu first. Now y’all may think he’s the perfect bf to cook with? WRONG. Now he’s not the worst (ie his brother or suna) but he’s not the best. Will always be the one to offer to cook and if you be like “let me help” he’ll say yes but end up taking over 90% of the time. Ask him 1 question about the dish and he’s like “ok let me show you how babe,” and you never end up completing the task yourself. If he wants to humor you into thinking you helped he’ll ask you to pass him ingredients. But one good thing is that depending on the thing he’ll be the type to kinda just press his body against yours and guide your hands for a solid 3 minutes before he’s like ok this isn’t comfortable and kinda just lightly moves you to the side to do the task himself. If you offer to cook for him one night he’ll try to not intrude he really will but will probably ask like a million questions. “Did you level the flour?” “Do you have all the ingredients out already?” Please get him OUT of the kitchen so you can do your thing like damn. Criticizes your chopping skills but at least offers to show you how to do it better (not that you ever learn). When it comes to music he either cooks in complete silence or like something smooth and sensual. Overall I’d give him 7/10 because control freak in the kitchen but he tries to be considerate and is still really sweet. Plus food always comes out 1000/10

Atsumu: LMFAO OK. Now I head canon him as not being the worst cook in the world but he isn’t the best by a long shot. Like he can make maybe 3 meals. Pretty useless when it comes to helping you though. Mostly just distracts himself and you. Ask him to prep the meat and like he’ll do it for 2 seconds before mentioning something completely off the wall and before you know it y’all are involved in some dumb ass conversation about what if you created your own food fungi and how would you do it and what if you made cotton candy kombucha with it? Also criticizes your chopping skills but unlike his twin he can NOT do better. “Babe yer supposed to dice those look like blocks” “You do it then” *pause* “I cant right now I’m busy but just know I can do better” he cant. Tries to recreate some dish osamu made for him with you and y’all end up calling the twin like 100 times because Atsumu kept forgetting the steps. Very proud when y’all do make the dish and he literally scarfs it down so fast. Unless it’s gross y’all both looking at each other like 👁👄👁 and blaming the other. Type to eat while cooking. Like as soon as you take one piece of meat off the stove he’s eating it and you gotta swat his hand away. Cooks with the music loud as hell and it’s something very upbeat which can add to y’all getting distracted. I’d give him 6/10 because while it’s lowkey a struggle he’s kinda fun and most of the time the food comes out edible

Suna: now this man is absolutely USELESS. First of all you literally have to beg him to come cook with you “why” “because it’s romantic you jackass.” And eventually he agrees. Does not know how to cook any hot meal. Burns the water because he puts it on then walks away and forgets. Acts like he can’t fucking read when you ask him to go get an ingredient. “Which one is that?” Like baby read the label. Might follow you around the kitchen for a little but does nothing helpful. Just stands to the side leaning against the counter and watches. Occasionally makes some comment like “are you doing that right?” You: points to something and asks him to reach over and get it. Suna: 🤨 lol. He doesn’t move a muscle so you’re like ok annoying and when you reach around him to get it the type to lowkey grab you by your waist to stop you from even doing what you were gonna. “Fine I’ll get it” he really couldn’t have done that from the beginning huh? If he does actually get something for you and it’s on the other side of the kitchen the type to be like: catch. Cooks to trap music lowkey although i use cook lightly. Just bobs his head and raps along occasionally feeling annoying enough to literally come and do it right in your ear. Another that eats off the food before you finish cooking and will lowkey laugh in your face when you glare. Yeah just push his ass out the kitchen not like he was doing anything useful anyways. I can also see him as the type to jokingly cheer when you’re finally like: ok get out. Overall 3/10. Utterly useless but he is appreciative and will thank you for being the best while y’all eating

Iwaizumi: the perfect man really. Takes initiative if you want him to. Also really cool with falling back and just helping. Pretty much does whatever you ask of him. Pretty decent cook. He has a few dishes in his arsenal, but has burnt food more than once. Anyways need him to go get the ingredients out? He’s on it. Ask him what the recipe calls for? Will print out the whole thing and even read it out to you if you want. Cooks in sweats and a tight tank so that’s pretty hot too. Once y'all are comfortable with each other (and obvs if y’all in the kitchen cooking together) gives the back of your shoulder kisses. Puts his hand on your lower back when looking over your shoulder to see what’s going on and it do be 🦋. Makes jokes about “please don’t poison me” He cooks with whatever’s on your playlist really. Has some favs with heavy drums but no real preference. Sometimes he finds himself just standing and watching too but will also be considerate enough to be like “you need anything?” Most likely to just check you out the entire time though. Love him. Perfect man that does what you want and he’s very hot. Arms be OUT so you staring respectfully too 🥵. Anyways meals come out pretty good so overall Iwa 10/10

[thetwstwildcard]

Thanks for the tag Az 🧡

My mind immediately goes to two dorms that I would hate to be in: Ignihyde and Octavinelle

Ignihyde: First off I would not respect Idia at all tbh. I'm loud, social and while I'm decent with technology I'm not good enough to say it's my specialty. The aesthetic isn't my favorite. On my disrespect for Idia I respect people I can look up to (aka yes I know why he is the way he is but I won't look up to him as a superior)

Octavinelle: Better vibes, hate the dorm members. While I doubt myself, I know I'm smart (with my lowest grade being 98% with about a month left in classes). I've dealt with many a legal paper so I wouldn't fall for Azul's UM. Wouldn't trust Jade as far as I can throw him and am too much of a joke to take Floyd seriously (flashback to a pissed off ex threatening to strangle me and my only response was "Kinky~" )

For dorms I can see myself in:

Savanaclaw: Aka the one I get in tests a lot. I was a varsity/state ranked athlete back in highschool, love to work out(can/have jokingly bench pressed my friend), did club soccer for 12 years (and still do soccer). But given a sport I will go all out until I physically cannot play anymore (one time during a game my mother came to pick me up when I had a mess of mud and blood on my uniform while smiling because it was fun. Be careful around goal posts). I was raised in sports culture so I know how to deal with all the dude bros and I will "metaphorically" bite back.

Pomefiore: Did modeling as a kid, my mother is a hair stylist and my sister is a cosmetologist. I have a 9 step morning skin routine and a 11 step night skincare routine (not counting any face mask). Have silk sheets for my skin and hair care, constant hair treatments and expensive hair products (my moms client literally gave me a around $200 conditioner [damn rich people]). I also have my own style and love dressing up.

Dorms I can possibly see myself in:

Heartslabyul: My kinship with Riddle of being raised by a narcissist 🤣 I have a good memory and am detail oriented so I'd remember the rules (and am good with remembering bs rules normally). Would totally think of some loopholes in the rules.

Diasomnia: Obviously can't say I'd for sure have strong magic (because magic isn't real irl) but I'd go off of loyalty. Malleus is one I can actually respect, I would love to talk to Sebek (because I like seeing people excited about things/look at the fandom, a ton of y'all are Sebek but towards the other boys). My love of small animals being around Silver and my similarity to Lilia.

Scarabia: The better smart dorm. I like the people in this dorm so much more than the octo trio. Cunning and careful planning are things I'm used to. I'm great with written tests too.

[masterofmaagnetism]

wait okay #8 from that list w lester trying to get you + bo together would be so good omg??? + wanted to say that jesse's design is super cute!!! (also: I'm liking house of wax so far!! haven't gotten to The Boys yet but y'know. Dalton is giving me rlly weird vibes tho)

[ yeah Dalton sure is! he's gay for Nick though he's so so so gay for Nick they've fucked i know they have BUT 8 is so SO good, that is ABSOLUTELY something Lester would "joke" about (he's serious) wjehbfhjwbewhjfjewh ]

[ Prompt: Person C is talking jokingly(?) about how they have already planned everything for A's and B's wedding. They only have to give them to go to put the plans into practice. (8) ]

[ Characters: Lester Sinclair (Person C), Bo Sinclair (A), Jesse Monroe (B) ]

[ Warnings: n/a ]

"Jesse! Your favourite colour's still green right?" Lester called from the living room, making Jesse look up from the dough he was kneading.

He was quiet for a moment, wondering why the fuck he was asking. "Yeah, it is," he replied cautiously. "Why're you asking?" he continued, glancing at Bo- who was helping him- only to find him just as confused.

"Oh, just plannin' your weddin' with Bo. Figured you'd wanna wear your favourite colour. Plus I gotta come up with a theme an' everythin'," Lester replied cheerfully, making both his brother and friend freeze.

Bo was the first to break the silence, letting out a sharp laugh. "Good one, Lester, real fuckin' funny. Don't joke about shit like that. You know neither of us are inta marriage- hell, we ain't even inta each other."

Rude. But correct. "He's right, Les. You can't plan weddin's for people who hate each other," Jesse contributed, chuckling softly to himself before getting back to work.

"I ain't jokin'!" Lester was quick to defend himself, practically pouting as he turned to look at them through the little window into the kitchen. "Y'all are perfect for each other! C'mon, ya can't tell me ya don't see it! You're just hidin' your attraction for each other 'cause you're scared!"

Wow, hit the nail on the head.

"Lester, shut the fuck up," Bo finally snapped, reaching the end of his patience for this conversation. "We ain't gettin' married, we ain't gonna get together, and you need to stay outta my damn business."

That made Lester quiet down, staring for another moment before sitting back down on the couch.

"Bo, you didn't have to be so mean," Jesse told the man in a hushed voice, gaining a glare from him. "I'm the only person here that ain't a Sinclair. Of course he wants to see us together, he wants somethin' new."

Bo stared down at him for a long moment, before he let out a sigh. "Fuckin' hate it when you're right," he growled.

"I know," Jesse replied with a grin, pulling Bo down to press a joking kiss to his cheek. "Maybe you should do something to me to feel better~"

Lester didn't get to know what went on in Bo's bedroom, and he never would, but neither of them would ever admit that maybe he was right.

Maybe they were scared.

(Spoiler alert: they were)

[also-ennoit]

okay rant time (there's cursing)

ughh sooo i don't even know where to start like it's soo dumb and i shouldn't be bothered by it but i am

soo i have 3 younger siblings (twins and a sister) and they're in school and of course they want to go out with friends and go to games and stuff like that but that "stuff" costs money and we don't and have never gotten allowances bc my mom never had the money to do that so she gives them money now when she has extra but she primarily pays for everything and those three have been breaking her bank almost every weekend (not including holidays and birthdays)

so my mom told them that they won't be doing anything for the next two weeks bc she wants to save her money and im like jokingly saying "danggg, that's tough" but one of the twins is like "but mama this and that" and my sister is asking my mom "why and what are you doing for two weeks?" so as an older sibling does im like "she just said she didn't want to do anything at all as not have anything to do or pay for" and my sisters just keeps pressing and just like "she has to have a reason to not want to stuff for a bit, cuz ur acting like ur stuff is more important than mama wanting to reasonably chill out" and she my sister is talking over me and holding her hand at me to talking and getting mad and like wtf did i do cuz clearly you didn't understand

and so now im just like well fuck, i honestly don't care that she mad at me or whatever but like what has always hurt is when people dismiss me and talk over me and the fact that im used to that just makes it worse bc im a very quiet person and i just don't talk a lot unless something needs to be said and then when people just pass over what i say it's like damn y'all really don't give two fucks about what i say even if im right and i am always trying to prevent them from getting in trouble but nobody listens to me and that shit just really hurts bc i've been treated like that practically all my life (at least that's what it seems like) and that just reinforces me to go back in my shell and not say anything at all or share my opinions or feelings cuz nobody seems to care unless it reflects badly on them and im already soft spoken and i don't like to raise my voice in situations like that cuz i hate yelling and like just my sister getting louder and more angry at me is just saying that the louder you are means ur more right like i fucking hate that so much and then im left feeling shitty bc i had an argument like what the actual fuck and i think im done so ima just shut up cuz i don't even like cursing this much

[absoluteindulgence]

How the Boys Give/Recieve

A/N: GOOD EVENING/GOODNIGHT Y'ALL IT'S 3AM WHERE I AM LOL. TAGS: @royaltywritesstuff, @burnedbyshoto, @ikinabi . I HAD ANOTHER NAUGHTY HEADCANON IDEA AND WANTED TO SHARE THEM WITH YOU GUYS. THIS HC IS LONG AF, SORRY IN ADVANCE BUT ENJOY THE FOOD. THE CHARACTERS ARE AGED UP (18+). THANK YOU FOR THE SUPPORT.

☀️🌞MIRIO🌞☀️

Give:

My baby is sweet and kind! Hella, eager to eat you like his last meal!

Will tell you to pee before and after sex (because he cares).

After you come out of the bathroom, there are towels for your body and pillows for your head. (He's always prepared).

He gets cocky when you get comfortable on the bed, telling you, “You’re gonna need the pillows big time.” You don’t even bother asking why, but your imagination roams. 

When he lays you down, he grazes your legs lightly. It’s therapeutic but also makes your senses aware and sensitive to his touch. Mirio is a little impatient to taste you, so he won't tease you longer than 30 seconds.

This dude will literally whisper "ITADAKIMASU" to your pussy. You're going to melt.

“Hey Sunshine, I’m sorry I lied to you. Remember how I told you I love to eat Ramen, it turns out that’s my second love. My first is you.”

Melt, reform, then EXPLODE.

His kisses are littered all between your inner thighs, reminding you how wonderful you are. Goes on to call you his Sunshine and Sunflower.

He's hella skilled because you taught him what you liked. He always pays attention to your body. From your breathing to the way your thighs shake.

His tongue on your clit is a signature of, many swivels, sucks, and spelling "I love you."

Receive

He’s a beefy boi, so imagine what’s underneath the underwear. Change your hero name from Lemillion to LePacking, honey

He's very enthusiastic, damn near antsy all from you just touching or staring at his piece.

He calls his cock "Your Love Rod" or "Man muscle" I'M CACKLING

It's really all jokes, but if you do say it while stroking him, dick gon twitch something crazy.

He gets all shy when you’re talking to him before placing your mouth on his tip. Jokingly tell him, “Your precum is enough to put in a cup, baby.” His face is gonna be RED.

Enveloping his cock in your mouth was trouble at first, but now you gobble him up like a thick ass banana. He’s always vocal, from light moans to deep groans. Very loud at times, groaning your name, telling you, “Damn, you’re so fucking good at this.” He’s usually out of breath.

He likes to grab your hair or the back of your head and apply a little pressure. He won’t always do it, but he knows you like the contact. Mirio’s eyes will occasionally be closed as his muscles tense. 

Sometimes you'll say, “Focus on me," and as soon as your eyes meet, you suck him off like a jolly rancher. His face is stuck in surprise and lust.

Bonus: Also, sidebar because thanks to @coconutnunnicorn​ , I will add that this fool does come home one day with that funny ass elephant hammock g-string, and it makes for a weird night. You spend an hour laughing, trying to breathe air back into your body, but that goes nowhere. He makes the noise, and you fucking lose it all over again. Imagine Mirio singing the chorus to Work It by Missy Elliot. We really love this dork lmao

❄SHOUTO🔥

Give:

His hands are so skilled, whether it's to massage your back, feet, or hands. So imagine how it feels when he massages your inner thighs.

Its the most sensual feeling imaginable. Shouto takes pleasure in pleasing you since you do for him in so many ways.

He doesn't just focus on your clit because that's not the only way of pleasure (he looked it up on google and tried new methods on you)

He likes to lick your inner and outer lips (labia majora and minora) since it shocks you, sometimes you'll hear a low chuckle and die on the inside from the heat of his mouth fanning over you.

His kisses to your clit are just as passionate as if he was kissing the lips on your face. He doesn't hold back from massaging your inner thighs, either.

He loves to squeeze and kiss them might leave a couple of hickies after stimulating you.

His thick fingers are always hooked inside you, waiting for your walls to clench around him.

Your moans are chaotic cries as you whisper or shout his name. 

Receive

So you pretend like you don't know what you're doing with him at times since his size is abnormally thicc. You tease him saying he can't fit in your mouth.

Shouto is so fucking sassy, so he looks at you like, "Oh yeah? And yet you called me during your break telling me to shove it down your throat."

You giggle while rubbing your hands down his chest, taking tiny licks at his shaft. They start gentle and rise to be longer. Your tongue circles his tip and boom, you’re deepthroating him.

His eyes shoot the deepest level of lust you can fathom as you give him eye contact. A cheeky smile creeps upon his face as he praises you.

“You take me so well” headass

Suck his tip like a Capri sun, and his toes will curl, but if you swallow his whole cock, he might lose control, and his quirk goes off. How do that D*ntyne Fire and Ice taste?

😈SHINSOU👿

Give:

Ultimate tease, swear to our lord and savior, cory in the house.

He likes to overstimulate you, lightly pressing his hands into your inner thighs, repeatedly saying that you're good enough to eat. Kissing your hip bones as he leaves hickeys and love bites from your belly button to above your knees.

"All of a sudden, I think I'm a cannibal" That line is gonna make you look at him with worry until his warm tongue meets with your awaiting bundle (compliments to Lyssa lmao)

Your moans make him suck and swivel faster until you release.

Your body heaves up and down fast as you try to regain your composure.

Shinsou is the type to close your thighs on his neck or face then ask, "You think we're done, Kitten?"

He gets back to business, and in between licks on your overstimulated clit, he says, "I - don't - think - you’re - loud - enough." His finisher move to end all your orgasms is spelling your name because you’re all he thinks about.

Waking up the morning after, your voice is gone, but he's already making you tea and your favorite breakfast.

Receive:

THICKY WITH THE STIFFY UH

He listens to 69 once, and that’s how he initiates head with you almost every time.

You wanna slap the shit out of him but take it out on his cock instead. Which he likes.

His cock is long with a decent girth. Like when you slap it up with your hands or lips, usually, he bites his own lips watching you do it. His dick twitches wild when you gargle him.

He likes to see how long you can keep eye contact, especially if he’s pulling your hair. I feel like he doesn’t mind your teeth grazing his skin because it’s a testament to how big he is in your mouth.

He’s disgusting in the sense where he likes you to spit all on his dick, “Wet it up nicely, Kitten.”

💥KATSUKI💥

Give:

Everything is a damn competition for this bastard. How many times can you cum? How fast will your legs shake? How many times will you pull his hair?

He pays close attention to your reactions.

He has a big mouth and knows how to use it.

So many times you'll tell him he's a shit talker and he grabs his junk saying, "And you know I can back it up. Now get on the fucking bed".

Sometimes he's rough on purpose because you react a little differently. And it's not the awkward way, but sometimes when you tell him to keep going, he goes beast mode on the pussy.

Grabbing your breasts or thighs, grunting as he eats. He licks your entire vaginal area. The first time he did it, you laughed because it tickled, but now it's become an overwhelming sensation for you.

You grab his hair with your thighs/legs tightening around his head, trying to push him away. But he grabs your thighs tighter, spreading you as wide as possible while holding them down.

You try to struggle, but he says, "Princess, I'm trying to eat. Are you going to let me?" After you nod, he says, "Then open your fucking legs, or I won't let you cum."

After you behave, he starts slow and but gradually gets faster and acts more ravenous than before.

He likes to spell out his (full) name fingers deep in you because, like I said, he fancies a challenge.

Receive:

He can be a real roughhouse at times

This asshole doesn’t care how you decide to suck him off, he’s a meaty big boi and loves threatening you with his dick.

EXAMPLE: “Bakugou, why the fuck did you delete the new episode of my favorite show.” “Because I’m tired of you fucking whining about you missing it.” “Well, how the fuck does this change what I’m going through?” “You’ll be quieter.” “Fuck you, Ratsuki” “Say it louder so that I fuck your mouth.” As you’re about to say something, he throws you DVDs of the whole fucking season. Before you can thank him, this entitled little bitch says, “You want an apology, you can suck it out the tip of my cock.”

Usually, you would get mad, but you happily oblige yanking his shit damn near from his body.

He curses you out, but you end up stroking him, a hand gripped tightly around his shaft with your mouth like a sturdy suction cup. He is surprised by your force as he adjusts while seated. He wants to hold your head down but wants to see how far you go without his help, shit-talking in the midst of it all, “Yeah, baby, I told you, you’ll be quieter.”

You roll your eyes and lick his tip gently.

Any other time he's not an asshole, you are a PRO with his THICC stick of dynamite. Sucking, Spitting, SLURPING (BECAUSE HE LOVES THE SOUNDS) HE THINKS HE'S BETTER THAN SPAGHETTI OR ANY POPSICLE YOU PUT IN YOUR MOUTH. You joke about how he's not gluten-free, and he will groan, making you laugh and making him nut.

Whether on purpose or accident, he says, "Here's your new skincare." If you know, you know.

Bonus: First, imagine your neighbors hearing this little argument, 0-100000 real quick. Second, imagine making Bakugou nut after you’ve over-stim him just because you laughed. Does that make him sensitive, or just hearing you laugh made him reach his limit? Also, I got the apology line from the artist ChuuRingo on Twitter!

🌋EIJIROU🌋

Give:

This man is so fucking gentle.

The first time he went downtown, he asked what you liked and wanted to know how you felt. The second time, did everything right/everything you wanted without asking.

Now every time after, your body is left in shakes and sweats.

He loves to leave you in a puddle.

Kiri loves to climb on top of you, kiss you all the way down to your sweetness. Breathy gasps escape your lips when his lips make contact with your neck, collarbone, the top of your breasts.

Sometimes he gets sidetracked playing with your nipples but still trails his kisses down your stomach till he reaches his right destination.

Kiri tries different techniques all the time, they all work wonders on you. He is so needy for your moans and touches. Rubs you wherever his hands will roam, his body worship coming into play.

He’s a little crazy because he loves when you squeeze his head between his thighs. Let him know you’re close to coming. There have been times where he almost passed out, he never told you. Kiri said that he would be happy to die between your legs, though. You jokingly tell him that’s manly but really apologize for having so much orgasmic strength.

Kiri loves to spell your name and his, his tongue is exceptionally fast so you can only imagine that he’s been practicing to do that with you for a long time.

Receive:

He loves to look at your lips and reminds you that you're so beautiful while giving him the good old skippity mmmmmbop

He's so cliche at times that he will tell you, "Damn, I haven't activated my quirk, yet I feel unbreakable already."

Cornball city, Mirio, and Kiri put your clown wigs back on.

He's so confident in your skills as he lays on the bed you share, spread the fuck out while you crawl in between his legs.

You tease him a little, but he's patient. He knows you're building up suspense or staring at his huge cock. Knowing that you love his size, girth, and the color of his throbber.

There are times that after he finished making you cum through oral that your orgasms lubricate your throat and relax your jaw. So it leads to super happy fun times for Mr. Red Daddy Riot.

Now you, like a challenge. Challenging how strokes, how many sucks, how many times you can lick his balls before he nuts.

His body shudders no matter where you put your tongue.

If you swallow, he goes above and beyond for you for the next six-eight sessions, or even if you seriously tap out. If you spit, he's gonna cuddle you into oblivion as you guys have a cheat day date with ice cream.

Finished 2:30AM EST 1.30.2020

[theficplug]

🅶🅸🆁🅻🆂 🆃🆁🅸🅿

𝓅𝓉 𝟤

𝒲𝒶𝓇𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈: 𝟣𝟪+ , 𝓈𝓂𝓊𝓉

𝓔𝓻𝓲𝓴 𝔁 𝓑𝓵𝓪𝓬𝓴 𝓡𝓮𝓪𝓭𝓮𝓻

{𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓭𝓮𝓻 𝓰𝓸𝓮𝓼 𝓸𝓷 𝓪 𝓬𝓻𝓾𝓲𝓼𝓮 𝔀𝓲𝓽𝓱 𝓱𝓮𝓻 𝓰𝓲𝓻𝓵𝓼 𝓭𝓾𝓻𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝔀𝓲𝓷𝓽𝓮𝓻 𝓫𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴 𝓹𝓸𝓼𝓽-𝓫𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝓾𝓹 & 𝓶𝓮𝓮𝓽𝓼 𝓔𝓻𝓲𝓴 𝔀𝓱𝓮𝓷 𝓼𝓱𝓮 𝓷𝓮𝓮𝓭𝓼 𝓱𝓲𝓶 𝓶𝓸𝓼𝓽. 𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓲𝓷𝓽𝓻𝓸 𝓽𝓸 𝓪 𝓼𝓮𝓻𝓲𝓮𝓼. 𝓘 𝔀𝓻𝓲𝓽𝓮 𝓮𝓿𝓮𝓻𝔂𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓸𝓷 𝓶𝓸𝓫𝓲𝓵𝓮 𝓼𝓸 𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓼 𝓯𝓲𝓬 𝓰𝓸𝓽 𝓭𝓮𝓵𝓮𝓽𝓮𝓭 4 𝓽𝓲𝓶𝓮𝓼😂. 𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓼𝓽𝓻𝓾𝓰𝓰𝓵𝓮 𝓲𝓼 𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓵. 𝓘 𝓱𝓸𝓹𝓮 𝓽𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝔂'𝓪𝓵𝓵 𝓮𝓷𝓳𝓸𝔂✌🏾 𝔁}

His fingertips danced along your spine following the golden sunlight against your umber skin. While you laid next to him softly placing kisses to his shoulder and chest.

You smiled to yourself remembering how damn near perfect last night was. He didn't ask anything of you after giving you one of the most mind blowing orgasms of your life.

He just cuddled you almost swaying you as you fell asleep nestled against his side. 

You felt him toss and turn until you wrapped your arms around him. Although he's never admit to being a little spoon.

"Damn, it must really be paradise here. 'Cause it can't get more perfect than this. I haven't slept all night like that in a long time." He says lowly his voice slightly raspy and deeper from the tiredness lingering. 

"I mean besides the morning breath. Whew yours is kicking." You say to him jokingly before he scoops you closer into his arms and kisses all over your neck. 

"Come shower with me then?" He proposed, already halfway out of the bed. 

After grabbing your things you headed towards the large bathtub with him. It was absolutely breathtaking and you still couldn't imagine how you pulled off getting a ticket for this luxurious cruise. 

"What's on your mind? " He asks while pulling you closer to rest against him. His warm wet hands soothing over the kinks in your back. 

"Just thinking of how quickly everything has moved. First it was the breakup and then getting the position I've always wanted. And coming on this cruise and finally reuniting with you. It has just been a world wind of emotions. But as corny as it is. I'm glad that I'm with you right now." You say quietly before looking up at him and pressing a soft kiss to his lips. 

"You still got them same ass big brown eyes. The kind you can't forget if you tried to. I never really gotta chance to say I'm sorry. I ain't mean to take off like that. I had some things that I had to take care of back then. Things that I'm still taking care of now. Things that I wanna tell you about but I feel like that's too much too soon." He says never once breaking eye contact with you as he chose his words carefully. 

You eyed him for a moment wondering what changed with him when he left. You wanted to question the scars that carried ghosts of his past etched across his skin or to ask him why he trembled when you held him last night. But you settled on a gentle kiss to his chest.

" All that matters right now is that you're safe. In time maybe you'll comfortable enough to tell me all about it. I believe that everybody's gotta past. It's alright" You soothe him and you can feel him for once relax against the bathtub. 

You slowly glide your hand down his body to stroke him softly. 

You noticed that eye contact is a big thing for him as you watch him melt under your gaze and touch. 

You pump him slowly as you rest your forehead against his and press a kiss to his lips. 

You sink down onto him slowly. Taking a moment to work him in fully before working all the way up and back down again to find a rhythm. "I'm glad that I'm here with you." You repeat against his lips as you slowly start to ride him. 

At first he just holds onto you as if you're going to float away. He's kissing every part of you that he can touch before burying his face in your breasts as you hold his head against you. You maneuvered lower so that he can tug teasingly on the right nipple then the left. 

Your hand smacks against the the outside of the bathtub as a kneejerk reaction to him beginning to fuck you back. His hand gripping onto your right hip tighter as he angles you slightly and drives into you at a new angle. 

"Eriiikkkk. Right there. Right there. Keep going baby-" You whine into his mouth as you find the right rhythm between the two of you.

You roll your hips down while he's giving deeper strokes into you from below. 

"You close huh? Don't run from it. Come on. Don't hold shit back from me." He demands as he grips your left hip harder holding you into place as he pounds into you and uses his other hand to massage your clit. 

That one last stroke had your arching your back into him and he took the opportunity to latch onto your nipple again nibbling it as he strokes you through your orgasm not stopping the rhythm between lightning fast strokes and then rolling his hips. 

You squeal as you hold onto his shoulders and bounce yourself through it before falling forward into him. 

"Nuh uh. Don't hold back neither. Give me that shit. You're hard as a fucking brick for me. I know you wanna cum. C'mon bae." You tease you whine your hips fluidly against him teasing him up and down you. 

He groans loudly and squeezes your cheeks hard holding you against him as his head rolls back and you grip his beard for him to look at you.

"Please, cum for me." You whisper to him as you feel him throbbing and pulsing ready to spill over for you he leans up and leave kisses down your neck before biting onto your shoulder hard as his stomach clenches and he releases for you.

"Goooddd. So good for me. " You moan praising him for giving you what you wanted.

After showering for real this time he left you to do your makeup and pick out an outfit for the day.

"I don't know how I feel about this look. I mean we're supposed to dock in like an hour and go sightseeing . And I'm late. I was supposed to meet the girls for breakfast. 10 minutes ago. So, this is good?" You say to Erik showing him the cherry red sleeveless dress that draped off over your back with a slit up the thigh.

It was the perfect shade to make your bronze skin pop along with the matching red lipstick and a simple winged liner.

You leaned your weight to one hip and smoothed out the dress smiling to yourself for a second as you watch him eyeing you up and down.

"You look so damn fine. I wanna spend all day in bed with you but these niggas tryna go snorkeling and shit." He says to you as you shake your head while laughing at him. 

"That sounds fun though. I think we're gonna hit up all the major food spots and tourist-y things we can today. But I'll meet up with you tonight. Gimme kiss." You say to him before you both head out. 

On your way to the elevator you finally check your phone and see all the missed calls and texts from Derrick. 'Shit.' was your only thought as you scrolled through them. 

"I'm not gonna apologize cause I'm grown. I can do whatever with whoever I wanna do it with. But I didn't mean for you to hear all of that. I must've called you by accident last night." You say to him as he answers the phone.

"So are we even now?" Is the only thing he asks as you shake your head at how unbelievable he is.

"Not even close. Look I've gotta go. I just wanted to call and clear the air so that you don't think this was something planned to "get back at you "." 

"To be honest I deserve more than an accidental call. I'm sorry. I really am. I know that I fucked up a good thing. I hope that someday we can at least go back to being friends." He says and for a moment you wanna believe that that's possible.

"Friends don't do that to each other Derrick. Like I said I just wanted to clear the air. I gotta go." You say hanging up quickly once you make it to the cute little cafe on the second floor of the ship.

You take a deep breath in before walking in and over to the table where your friends already eating and cackling about something. 

"Good morning y'all. I- I overslept." You say to them with a small smirk while sitting down.

"BITCHHHHH. Yo ass got good dick glow written all over you. That birth control was doing its job this morning! " Khadijah laughs as you throw an orange slice her way.

"Sebastian wasn't it though. 2 words. Chicken Nugggeeeettt. He's sweet as gold and we have so much in common but like y'all. " Khadi adds 

"UH UUHHH. Girl, and he was talking big game and ended up whipping out the shrimp?" Tasha says to Khadi in disbelief 

"Good morning. It looks like you had fun last night. Here we ordered you shrimp and grits and we're gonna need the full run down. So here" Tasha says as she puts the breakfast platter on your side of the table and Lynelle leans in closer. 

"Shush like you and Tasha's bag wasn't buzzing its way through TSA. Y'all I ain't even gon lie. Mans ate the soul clean outta my body. I was shaking and shit. I thought I was bout to morph into something. I'm like girl is this the moment where I turn into a Demogorgon. And then he just like held me and that kinda intimacy I hadn't felt in so long. Everything was going good. Morning sex was bomb...But then the gag is i must've accidentally called Derrick right before that cause he heard everything." You say and then watch Tasha , Khadi, and Lynelle cut up.

Tasha was clapping and laughing as Tasha and Lynelle tried to hold it in before laughing until the point of tears. 

"Wait , wait I'm hollering." Tasha yells 

You set there with your arms crossed before cracking into a giggle of your own.

"I don't know why I felt bad. But I did after I found out what happened. Is that weird?" You ask as you push the food around the plate. 

"As a psychologist, I want to say something profound like. Dopamine causes us to try and find the love object, hence why we spend days thinking about the other person. It’s for this very reason that it can be so incredibly hard for us to move on to a relationship with someone else. We tend to idealize our exes and distort the memories we have with them. We romanticise the reality and forge an idea in our minds of what life with them is like when often it’s not the truth. But as your best friend I just wanna say fuck Derrick and his feelings." Khadi says bluntly while sipping on the mimosa

"She ain't wrong. He didn't really take your feelings into consideration when he did what he did. So, i'm with Khadi on this one. Fuck Derrick." Lennie says as she raises her glass

"FUCK DERRICK" y'all say in unison as all 3 of you raise your glass for a toast. 

--

After the ship docked and you realised you were gonna be staying at a villa not too far from Erik's everything seemed to go smoothly.

You and Erik ended up venturing off together to all the little boutiques and food spots on your list.

Tasha and Lennie wanted to do all the cute tourist-y things on their own little list.

Khadi ended up going with Sebastian to do the snorkeling activities and meeting the dolphins. It turned out that they both love the ocean and marine life.

After sending each other quick texts about the change of plans. You agreed to meet up for dinner and to test out Club Jenja later on.

He didn't smother you when you and the girls danced at the club. But you could feel his eyes on you when men got too close to you for his liking. He did come by occasionally to ask you if you were okay or if you needed a water. Or if he just wanted a kiss from you.

He was currently standing by the bar talking to his boys when you notice a dark haired woman and another girl saunter up to him.

While they were standing there telling him their whole life story it seemed. His eyes never left yours.

"My feet hurt." You say to him as you walk over to as if the girls aren't standing there.

"Let's go then." He replied simply already done with the scene and just wanted to be chilling with you.

Your feet were done at this point from dancing all night in them skinny ass heels and he ain't hesitate to carry you bridal style to the Uber.

You wasted no time pulling off your look and slipping into one of your oversized shirts.

"You play too much. Why you left your girlfriend hanging like that?" you ask him laughing softly into his shoulder.

--

Of course he wanted to stay at your villa tonight.

You were both a little tipsy on the shots from the bar and realised that honey whiskey made both of y'all all lovey dovey. 

"She really said I hope y'all enjoy your honeymoon. You a cute couple. Maybe she seen something with us." he says repeating the elderly lady that y'all met in a souvenir shop earlier. Then pondering the thought

"She was really cute though." You say to him as he helps you wipe your makeup and adjust your head scarf in the back for you.

"You wanna use this face mask? You gotta lil sunburn right here on your nose. I told you to wear sunscreen. Talking bout lotion gonna cover it." You scold him softly before giving him a kiss to the tip of his nose. 

"Yeah , lemme go pee real quick." He says before moving from sitting between your legs on the bed.

You knew that you both weren't going to sleep anytime soon. So, you grabbed the laptop and turned on your playlist which mostly consisted of smooth r&b.

You watched as Erik walked out of the bathroom grooving to music and leaned down to kiss you.

Safe to assume that it's impossible to get over how his kisses made your skin light up like the 4th of July.

3 glasses of wine later and y'all were deep into conversation about everything from is there life on other planets to life paths.

"I think if I wasn't a stylist I'd be a criminal psychologist. That type of stuff has always seemed interesting to me." You say as he asks if you watched the new I Am A Killer series on Netflix.

To him revealing that he has a 4 year old daughter.

"Ava? She's the most adorable little thing. I can't wait to meet her one day." You say as you look at the pictures of her. She had his nose and head shape but with hazel eyes. Her adorable 4c fro adorned with jewels and cornrows in the front clasped with berets.

You think for a second wanting to ask him about the situation with the baby mama but didn't want to pry too much into it. Especially if you too planned on just keeping things casual.

"I met her mama while I was deployed. She got ill, and ain't really make it too many days past Ava's 2nd birthday." He says as he rub the back of his neck and shake his head.

You let out a small pout before pulling him in for a warm hug. You lay back with him in your arms and scratch at his scalp gently.

"I can tell that she was a good woman. Just look at how smart and kind and caring Ava is already. She taught her so much in such an unfortunate amount of time." You say thinking over the appropriate answer for the situation.

It's wild to think about this man was your best friend for years. And it feels like everything and nothing has changed all at once.

"I hooked up with Mr. Thomas after graduation." You blurt and Erik looks up at you for a minute before laughing hard as fuck.

"What the fuck? How? When?" He asks as he shakes his head still laughing.

"Well, he been a whole ass snack since junior year and I saw him during the girls trip to Mardi Gras . Like around carnival time. And we just got to talking. He stopped teaching math and now he's like traveling the world and all of this stuff. " You say laughing

"I can't believe that shit. I used to be disrespectful as fuck to that nigga too. He know I was good at math and cause I used to skip his class he always tried to play me like I ain't know nothing. Like nigga I didn't need to cheat off nobody homework or test." He says scoffing at the thought before his phone begins to ring

"We going to the zoo today. Sing the song daddy." Ava asks and she nods before saying hello to her and her grandmother.

"Isn't she lovely. Isn't she wonderful-" He's cut off by her with a shake of her head.

"Not that one - the other one papa." She tells him and you look over to see him thinking before he dramatically says "ooh that one."

Your heart melted as they started singing together. She's smiling and laughing with her father as tried to sing with him.

"We're gonna have a good day. And all my homies gonna ride today. And all these mommies look fly today. And all we wanna do is get by today. Heyyy. We're gonna have a good day. And ain't nobody gotta cry today. Cause ain't nobody gonna die today. You save that drama for another day. Heyyy we gonna have a good day." He finishes and you swear that your heart grew at least two sizes watching him interact with her.

"Have fun at the zoo with Grandma, let her put the sunscreen on you when you get out , and say hey to the penguins for Daddy alright? I'll call you later. " He finishes and he says goodbye to her grandmother before ending the call.

"We came up with it when she start going to pre-school. She hated being away from me . So every morning we would sing the song together and she gets all the special hugs before she goes out the door to carry with her to have a good day. I don't miss a day." He explains and you couldn't help but kiss his face all over.

He was such a multi-faceted person to just sit back and admire. You could get use to this eventually being everyday.

But , a tinge of sadness couldn't help but wash over you . Thinking of what could've been if things hadn't happened the way that they did with you two.

You both eventually drift off while holding him in your arms, tipsy as hell, and feeling full of love.

 

Taglist:

@blackmissfrizzle @chaneajoyyy @sheisexcellent1 @fd-writes @theogbadbitch @yoyolovesbucky @destinio1

Lemme know if I missed anybody x

[toutallyahoe]

Sweet Mornings ~ Sebastian Moran (Sherlock)

Requested By: --

A/N: i know that this dumbass hasn't even shown his dumb ass in the Sherlock series of BBC but who gives a shit?

i also know fully well that some speculated that Mary Morstan is BCC Sherlock's Sebastian Moran but who gives a fuck?

i want him and im adding him one way or another people!

also, didn't the Sherlock fandom adopted Michael Fassbender as Sebastian Moran's face or something?

because i know you gremlins did so that's the headcanon of his face we're going too; but Paul Anderson (Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows) works too but ahdjskfjkajdjsjd whatever!

here's a fluff with the assassin who BBC SHOULD HAVE BROUGHT IN DAMN IT

anyways... here's a Michael Fassbender as Sherlock fandom's Sebastian Moran to make y'all love him

love him you gremlins

also, fun fact: i could careless for this dumbass but when writing those angsty obsession series of James "Jim" Moriarty and his poor [Name]... i changed my mind from a future idea for that series...

speaking of those angsty obsession series of Moriarty... i should continue that asdfghjkl

─────────────────

A soft smile etched onto [Name]'s lips as his [Eye color] eyes looked at the body pressed close unto his form. Right arm wrapped at the sleeping form of the blond haired male as he looked at the face of the other layed beside him.

"Good morning," [Name] softly murmured, knowing full well that the supposed to be sleeping male was awake. And he was right. The blond merely replied a soft and tired groan on his greeting. Chuckling softly, the [Hair color] haired male brought the blond close to him. His other arm wrapping the other's form as he murmured soft nothings onto the blond's form.

"Come on, loser," [Name] mused at the other. "Get up, we need to get ready for the day," the blond merely groaned again.

"If it wasn't for that almost close reference of Mean Girls, I would have hit you," Sebastian had grunted, eyes shut close but a smile on his lips as he nuzzled his face onto the [Hair color] haired man's neck. Sebastian heard the other man chuckle at his reply as he felt his back being traced with fingers by [Name], drawing patterns.

"So, you mean that if I did not try to quote Mean Girls, you would have hit me?" [Name] had asked.

"Yes," came Sebastian blunt reply. [Name] couldn't help but chuckle at the blond's answer as he brought the blond closer to his body. "Not because you feel at least an ounce of love for me?" [Name] had asked as he took a deep inhale on Sebastian's scent. A content hum leaving his lips as his partner still smelled-- oddly enough-- as that lavender and vanilla scent he grew to adore.

"No, not because I love you, you dork," Sebastian had said as he opened his eyes as he felt [Name] ceased to draw patterns on his back but instead had his hands, well, at least one of them, to be entangled on Sebastian's blond hair. The [Hair color] haired man softly running his fingers on Sebastian's scalp, making the man softly sigh. Content the blond was as he pressed himself more closer to [Name].

"I love you," [Name] softly murmured onto Sebastian's ear. The blond merely rolled his eyes as he wrapped his arms around the other's body.

"Gee, I do hope so," Sebastian sarcastically said. "It would be very awkward if you don't. Being married for three years and all," the blond mused as a soft smile on his lips as he heard [Name] chuckle.

"My Jove, has it been three years? It feels like yesterday we just had our wedding," [Name] had softly murmured as he placed a soft kiss on Sebastian's forehead. A groan leaving the [Hair color] man's lips when Sebastian scratched his unclothe back.

"Stop being so sappy," Sebastian had retorted as he backed away a bit to look at [Name]'s face who merely sent him a grin. "It's too early in the morning for it."

"I can't help it, love," the [Hair color] haired man softly said as he saw Sebastian's eyes soften at his nick name for the other. "I still can't believe that I had managed to catch such a handsome and loving husband after all," [Name] said which made Sebastian let out a laugh.

"Such a sappy dork you are," the blond mused as he sat up, [Name]'s hand getting off of him as he also unwrapped his own arms off the other as he did. Looking down at the [Hair color] haired man laying beside him, a soft smile on Sebastian's lips as his blue eyes stared lovingly at the other's [Eye color] ones.

"I love you, dork," Sebastian had softly said as he leaned down, putting his hand on the other's chest as he connected his lips with [Name]'s.

"I love you too, Sebbie," [Name] cheekily said as he and the blond parted. Not missing Sebastian's eyes rolling at what he had called the blond.

"Stop calling me 'Sebbie'," Sebastian said, a small hint of annoyance in his tone but [Name] didn't mind it.

"Your boss can call you that but not I? Your beloved lover? How cruel," [Name] had said as he smiled when Sebastian sent him a small glare.

"Beloved? As if you dork," Sebastian had jokingly said. "But you know how Jim is," the blond had said as he saw [Name] nodded.

"How is he by the way? I haven't heard of him since that time he visited because he was... um... bored," [Name] stated as Sebastian groaned at that memory.

To say the least, the blond's boss was an... eccentric man.

The 'Napoleon of crime' as what others seemed to say as Jim was the consulting criminal and arch enemy of the consulting detective, Sherlock Holmes. A very dangerous criminal mastermind.

'And a cock block.' Sebastian annoyedly thought as he remembered that time Jim visited the two. Sebastian and [Name] were making out on the couch of their living room and things were going more heated as each second pass. It would have ended with the two making love it if wasn't for Jim slamming the front door and shouting how bored he was. Not even paying mind [Name] and Sebastian in a very intimate position on the couch, looking at him both shock and annoyance as the criminal merely strolled in and went to the kitchen to get something to eat.

"My Jove, he was such a cock block," Sebastian bluntly said. Tone laced with annoyance from remembering that memory. [Name] only sent Sebastian a grin and shaking his head.

"He was, wasn't he?" A soft chuckle leaving his lips as he too remembered that day. It was quite awkward that day was, but Jim was an interesting man and he enjoyed talking to the consulting criminal. As long as the criminal doesn't get his husband hurt or killed, he was fine with what ever the dark haired man does.

[Name] code of ethics were rather on the grey area. This was probably why he wasn't that freaked out when he had found out that the man he was dating for years was an assassin before he had asked the blond to marry him. [Name], to say the least, was also a very eccentric man. On some occasions that is. And Sebastian adores it.

"He absolutely was," grumbled Sebastian as he heard [Name] chuckle again. "I still can't believe he had done that... that ass," said the blond as he felt the [Hair color] haired man ran his fingers on his arm.

"Well, we could continue where we left off that day... and maybe a second from last night?" [Name] teased as he sent the blond a knowing smile. Sebastian looked down at him as he rolled his eyes.

"Hm, let me think about it," said Sebastian as he pretended to think for a moment. [Name] humming as he grabbed Sebastian's hand that was on his chest and intertwined with his. The [Hair color] haired then move their intertwined hands close to his face as he placed a gently kiss on the blond's hand.

Sebastian smiled at the other's soft and gentle actions as after a second or so, the blond moved a bit. Moving himself on top of [Name]'s stomach as he sent the man a smirk. Squeezing [Name]'s hand that was on his as he placed his other hand on the [Hair color] haired man's chin. Tilting [Name]'s head a bit as Sebastian leaned down and placed his lips with the other.

"Let's continue where we left off," Sebastian whispered as he parted from the kiss. He felt [Name] squeezed their intertwined hands as he placed soft kisses the [Hair color] haired man's jaw.

"This is quite a sweet morning," [Name] softly said as Sebastian hummed.

"Quite sweet," muttered Sebastian as he continued. "I'll be getting fucked and received some fantastic aftercare after this," he said as he heard [Name] chuckle. Feeling the other hand of [Name]'s placed on his back and began drawing patterns.

"How shameless of you to say such a thing," rolling his eyes at that, Sebastian pulled away and leaned back. Sending the [Hair color] haired male a grin.

"That won't be the only shameful thing you'll be hearing," Sebastian teased as he saw [Name] smiled. The [Hair color] haired sat up as Sebastian adjusted to his new position. The blond placing himself on the other's lap as he let go of [Name]'s hand on his and instead wrapped both of his arms on the other's neck. His hand playing with the [Hair color] locks of [Name] as he looked at the other in the eye.

"Now, hurry up, we need to continue where we left off after all," Sebastian said as [Name] chuckled. Snaking his hands on Sebastian's hips as he leaned close to the other. Placing a soft yet passionate kiss on Sebastian's lips.

"Yes... let's continue, love," muttered [Name] through the kiss as Sebastian pulled the [Hair color] haired male more closer to him.

[lovelyparkers]

hard as nails (1)

hi hi 50k special!! this is gonna be either two or three parts and it's a lot different from what i've written before but i think y'all are gonna like this anyways so... i hope y'all do enjoy this

summary: being a teenage vigilante can be fun, especially when you're on the bad side and spider-man is your nemesis. 2k words

warnings: swearing, reader is a saucy and spicy little villain, peter is a blushing mess sometimes, angst, fight scenes!! violence!

you never expected to get in the way of queens well renowned hero—spider-man. that is until you had to relocate to queens from the bronx. it was...definitely a change from all aspects. your dad moved out with you, wanting a better place to go to school for you, since you had been leaving home very often for...you know, villainous duties. yet you were an extraordinary student, which led to you being enrolled in midtown school of science and technology. as well as having to scope out queens at night and having several run ins with the spider-man.

the worst part, you know you went to school with the masked hero because you frequently saw him entering the roof of the school in his suit. now you, you were way more careful and you worked alone, besides for a woman in her 30's who had taken you under her wing, trained you, and demanded you commit crimes for her and for yourself. she was the base operation and you did everything she asked, even when you moved, she moved. you were like her little goon. you excelled in combat and had unusually incredible strength due to being caught up between some dangerous radioactive weaponry in your sophomore year back in the bronx. you began junior year at midtown in queens, you made some friends, but knew to keep your distance. spider-man had become your main and pretty much only focus since you arrived. you know what they say, keep your friends close but your enemies closer.

you didn't want to hurt or kill spider-man, you just wanted to make his life absolutely miserable. that's how you worked, manipulate and mess with, not murder. you stole pretty much anything you could get your hands on because well, you were broke. you beat people up, robbed stores, manipulated civilians, and threatened people. yeah. your dad could barely afford meals for you both and lived in a very rusty apartment. but hey that's life and you were making it through. well, illegally. you told your dad you got a job at night in queens when you began showing up with money and clothes and food and god knows what else. it was a perfect alibi for a father who really didn't even give a shit.

and this spider-man, oh this lovely beautiful boy, was getting in your way. you were just trying to survive right? that and doing things for this mystery woman. and gosh did you want to find out who was behind the mask. it was obviously a boy your age. every night you tried to find him, meet up with him, talk and find out about him and of course, fight each other. he never hurt you though and you knew he had a soft spot for you. maybe it was your flirty nature.

and now you were on a rooftop at midnight, sitting with your nemesis.

"violet," spider-man called out, "nice to see you again."

your 'villain' name was violet because of the violet mask you bought from party city awhile ago. it was...fitting. and a pretty name that sounded so good coming from his mouth. you may have had a little tiny teeny crush on him. he looked fantastic in that suit and imagined what was underneath. little did you know he did the same about you. black leather pants and a black and violet zip up top matching your mask.

"hey spidey! catch any criminals tonight?" you asked.

"mmm none yet because you're out here."

"awe baby am i distracting you?" you walked over to him, close enough for him to rip off your mask.

"kinda," he replied, masked eyes slanting down.

"well tell me about yourself before you get in my pants. who is spider-man."

"wouldn't you like to know. is violet your real name?"

you scoffed, "do you think i'm dumb?"

"no i just- no."

you took your hand bringing it up to lay on his shoulder and slowly and teasingly dragged it over his abs.

"you're really ripped babe."

"don't babe me, you know i can take you."

"oh so you think you can take me? what about that one time i had you pinned down outside your school."

"how do you know i go to midtown," he asked in a panic.

"i knew it! so you do go there! i've seen you entering through the roof. watch yourself."

he grabbed your hand, locking it with his own. he stared at your signature red nail polish which made his head run wild.

"i've got you now. you watch yourself."

you twisted your wrist and swept a leg under his causing him to fall, but he caught you and brought you down with him. you fell on top of him with a groan.

"damn spidey. getting right into it are we?"

"shut up," he said and rolled over so he now had you pinned down on the roof.

he twisted his head at you, eyes focused on your face and you neatly done hair in two dutch braids. you noticed his distracted state and smirked pushing him over so now you straddled his waist and pinned his arms to the roof. just like before.

"still distracted i see?"

"well i cant help it sometimes. even though i'm supposed to hate you."

"awe spidey. you're so sweet. but you know i'm not gonna let you go."

you leaned down into him to whisper in his ear, "you're too pretty underneath me."

he strained his neck back, melting because of you, "stop," he demanded.

"no," you said jokingly then pressed a kiss on the cheek of his mask. you didn't know it but the boy was blushing underneath. you got up and let him get up to follow you. you walked to the other side of the roof, showing off your hips.

"don't get into any trouble tonight, whatever your name really is."

"sure thing babe."

he jumped off the roof backwards, watching you then swinging away.

—————————

you arrived to school the next day with a little more intuition about the masked hero. his voice was distinct. it was higher than most boys, and you doubted he used a voice changer because it would have that staticky feedback. and you swore you had heard that voice somewhere, but you couldn't put your finger on it.

"hey y/n," peter parker, you chem lab partner said smiling and sitting down next to you.

you hesitated, "hi...peter."

you gave you a confused smile and opened his books.

you think you have your guy. huh. easy as that. you tapped your red nails on the desk.

you scribbled up a note to spider-man and well, peter. after lab and working closer with peter, you realized his demeanour and actions were very similar to spidey, further proving your hypothesis. you followed him to his locker, close behind him, and waited by a water fountain till he left his locker, then slipped the note in.

at the end of the day peter headed to his locker, opening it when a note fell out. he picked it up and looked around the hall. the note read:

hi spidey. i know it's you. and gosh it's about time. meet me on top of the tall apartment complex on grand central parkway tonight at 9. thanks petey xoxo, violet

it was written in purple ink and adorned with a red heart next to your name. oh shit. he was fucked.

when peter got home he was panicking. this villain went to school with him. a literal manipulative villain. and you were his age! he wondered if he knew you. you obviously knew him.

————————

peter showed up to the spot at exactly 9 pm to find you in your suit. upon his impact, you jumped up, running to greet him.

"oh peter! you made it. i'm so glad because i—"

he grabbed both of your wrists tightly and put his face in yours, "how? how did you find out."

you gulped, "you're not a very careful person peter."

he ripped off his mask, there was no point.

"look at me," he demanded and you gladly did. you bit your lip at the sight of his messy brown locks and stern brown eyes. was he always this hot when he was angry?

"you can't tell anyone. and i know that won't stop you, but guess what? every time we hang out and fight and you flirt or whatever, i could easily rip off that mask, what, is it from the dollar store? or—"

"party city," you cut him off.

"stop! listen to me! i could've easily ripped off your mask at any time. but i don't. i never do. you know why? because you're different. your funny and you don't actually hurt me but i have to stop you because you hurt others. and-and you're so cool but you're a villain. and you're really pretty even though i can barely see your face and...yeah. now that i know you go to my school, i know you're someone like me. you're just a troubled kid who got caught up in the wrong crowd. but you're the bad one. and i'm sorry and i like spending time with you but you can't do this to me."

you gulped again, looking down at your feet. you could tell he meant what he said. and like you had always promised, you never wanted to deliberately hurt spider-man. or peter.

"i-i'm so sorry. i shouldn't have—i'm sorry."

"it's okay, just promise me you won't tell."

you reached your hand up to touch his cheek, red nails stroking his skin, "i promise."

"thank you."

"i should go. i'm sorry peter."

you hopped off the roof and he watched you leave. you had to go meet up with your head lady who was named daria. she told you to expose spider-man and get him off your radar, but you made a promise and now you were kinda scared.

"so, did you find him?" daria asked.

you hesitated, "no, not exactly."

she walked over to you and slapped you across the face.

"i'm disappointed in you. you find him or else i cant deal with you anymore."

you just stood there.

"say something!"

"i cant find him," you lied, "it's impossible."

"you're lying. i know you are boyfriend girlfriend with him. it's all over the news. you get him tomorrow night. nothing more."

"yes daria."

you left her shady apartment and headed straight home, done for the night. she genuinely scared you and you were worried she was going to kill you if you didn't turn peter in. but you couldn't do that to him? could you?

the next morning during chem lab you were late. you joined peter at your table. you had a wicked purple and yellow bruise on your face, which peter took notice of. it was from daria.

"y/n oh my god, are you okay?" he asked pointing to your face.

"'m fine," you replied covering the bruise with your hand. peter watched your fingers cover the bruise. your painted, red, fingernails.

[another-blog-bites-the-dust]

Lap of the gods.

Summary: Two gods from different worlds prove that opposites really do attract.

Warnings: a lil bit of angst but nothing major, ughhhh sweet Roger melts my heart 😭💖

A/N: I still can't believe how much you all are liking this series! Thank you all so so much!! 😁😘 I'm sorry this part is a tiny bit short- I was going to incorporate the next part into it but I felt like it didn't flow as well. But I hope y'all enjoy! 💖

Part 3.

——————

"HERMES!" You screamed out into thin air, the god appeared before you in a matter of seconds. "I need you to fetch someone. The person who sent the flowers. He wants to visit the underworld."

Hermes coyly grinned "Ahh you met with him then. What did you think of Persephone?"

You narrowed your eyes "I think it's none of your business!" You hissed. "Just fetch him!" You tossed him a coin and Hermes bowed with a sigh before vanishing. You sat waiting patiently with Cerberus by your side.

Roger paced in his room waiting for Hermes. He wondered if you had been lying- that Hermes wouldn't come and that Roger wouldn't get the chance to see you again. He wouldn't blame you, he could see how much the other gods had chipped away at your trust. He hated that they had done that to you.

"What are you doing?"

Roger yelped and jumped, the voice had startled him. "Don't you know how to announce yourself?"

Hermes smirked "I don't need an announcement..." he narrowed his eyes at the god. "But seriously, why are you walking back and forth about your room? It's weird."

Roger glared at the messenger "I'm just...passing the time."

Hermes hummed, unconvinced "Passing the time or worrying about going to Hell for the first time and breaking your underworld virginity?" He laughed and shook his head. "The only thing you have to worry about is Hades and saying things that won't make her kill you."

Roger let out a shaky breath "She can kill a god?" His lips and fingers trembled.

"Of course she can!" Hermes incredulously replied. "She's a killer queen..." he stepped into the centre of the room and held out his hands for Roger to take. He pulled them back with furrowed brows when he took a good look at what Persephone was wearing. "You're not going to wear that down there, are you?"

"Why?" Roger narrowed his eyes "What's wrong with it?" He looked down at his outfit. He didn't see anything wrong with it.

Hermes rolled his eyes "Are you serious? You're going to the most depressing, ghoulish, macabre, unhealthy-"

"-Okay I get your point-" Roger uttered.

Hermes continued "-gruesome, grisly, grotesque, ghastly, horrible, unwholesome place to ever exist...and you're wearing white with buttercups in your hair." He added, mockingly.

"You're wearing white?!" Roger shrieked and motioned to the messengers outfit.

"Yeah, but I'm special," he flashed a pearly grin. "Plus you're going to be there for a lot longer than me today so..."

"Fine!" Roger slapped his thighs, growing impatient. In a flash his white robes changed to all black with specks of gold and dark ivy in his blonde hair. "How's this?"

Hermes smirked, jokingly "The black looks more like a dark grey but alright..." Roger opened his mouth to give him a piece of his mind but before he could reply to the messengers comment, he found himself in a dreary cave next to a river and a boat with a hooded figure in it. Persephone looked at Hermes. "This is a rarely used gate- it's not as brutal to look at as the main gateway to hell. You'll still have to go across the river Styx, however. Since you're not dead I don't know how this will pan out but pay the man anyway." He tossed Roger a danake coin. "Just give the lovely Charon here," Hermes jumped in the boat and playfully shook the disgruntled figure at the end of it "Your coin and he'll take you across the river of hatred to the palace. I have special access to the palace so I'll meet you at the end of your trip." Hermes stepped out of the boat and pushed Roger towards it. "For the love of all things impure, don't fall out of the boat and into eternal damnation." He clapped Roger's shoulder.

"What do you mean-" Roger cut himself off, Hermes had gone. "Eternal damnation...?" he uttered to himself before turning to the hooded figure at the top of the boat. Roger placed the coin down on the wooden seat in front of him and Charon slowly dragged it towards him and into his palm. The boat started moving.

"He's on his way," Hermes announced to you. Your eyes were fixated on the hundreds of flowers still in your throne room. "Hades...?"

"What?" You snapped out of your trance. "Oh, yes. When you collect him bring him in here," Hermes nodded and was about to walk away but you spoke up. "What did he look like?" You asked and Hermes turned slowly on the spot with a raised brow "When he saw the passage?"

"Scared." You felt a twang in your chest "Yet curious...I think he might pleasantly surprise you today. He made an effort for you." Hermes tightly smiled and bowed before leaving. That eased you a little...yet worried you at the same time. Why did you care so much about how the pure, angelic, beautiful god felt?

"Beautiful...?" You murmured to yourself and looked down at Cerberus feeling conflicted. You had never thought such a bold compliment about another god before.

Roger felt like he had held his breath for every antagonising second he had been on the boat. He didn't know what he was more nervous about- falling out the boat, the fact that he was in hell or that he was about to see you again. The screams were making his blood curdle and the heat was making his cheeks bright red. You were only scratching the surface in regards to how you described the place- it was much worse than Roger expected.

The boat came to an abrupt stop and Roger glanced up when he saw a figure. "You survived your journey then?" Hermes chuckled. "C'mon...she's waiting for you." Hermes put an arm around Roger's shoulders "And whatever you do...don't piss her off because I won't be there to help you out." Hermes pushed Roger into the palace. The naive god was in awe of everything. Persephone never knew such a magnificent palace could be in such a dismal, depressing place. It was black and red with gold gilded everywhere. Diamonds and precious crystals were oozing out from every area Roger scanned his eyes over. Then he smelt the flowers. That was a good sign- at least you still had them and hadn't burnt them to a crisp yet. Hermes stood in front of two large doors and cleared his throat. "May I present to you," he opened them and Roger felt the air rush from his lungs and his heart race. "The queen of the underworld."

Roger stumbled forward with his mouth gaping seeing you on your throne, the room was incredible but you were breathtaking. "Persephone," you stood up, a long train flowing behind your jet black dress. Your fingers shone with jewels and gold and a black lace cape cascaded down your back and arms- a bedazzled golden crown sat on top of your head. Roger swore he could see fire in the rubies. "Hello..." you approached him and dismissed Hermes with a glare.

Roger fell to one knee in front of you, the action made you eyes widen and brows raise. "Hades..." you weren't sure if it was the flames, but Roger had a twinkle in his eyes. "My queen." He pressed a kiss to your knuckles.

That really shocked you. For one- he didn't wince at your warm touch, secondly- he was on one knee kissing your hand. But the thing that shocked you the most was that he called you his queen. You slowly pulled your hand away, almost unwillingly. His skin was softer than the finest velvets you dressed in. "I hope you've prepared yourself," you said and Roger looked up to you "I'll be taking you for the...tour."

Roger smiled, the dark ivy in his hair only brought out the blonde more and the black fabric against his skin sent a chill down your spine. Hermes was right, he had made an effort for you- an impressive effort. "Cerberus!" The god grinned, extending his arms out and your hound from hell ran over with a happy expression on all the three of his faces. "Oh hi!" Hi good boy!" He cooed, laughing when the dog licked his face. "Such a handsome boy! You look much better this way! I missed you!"

A genuine smile appeared on your face, Roger saw it and he stopped petting your dog. It was the most beautiful sight he had ever seen in all his life. When you noticed Roger looking at you with a toothy grin on his face your smile fell and you became stern again. "Cerberus," you called for him "By my side." He huffed and walked over to you.

Roger stood up and brushed himself off "So," he grinned "Where to first?"

"We'll go to the realm that isn't as bad as the others- Elysium." You said and walked alongside Roger out of your palace. Your boat was waiting for you and you extended your arm out to let him on first.

"This is a lot fancier than the boat I came to the palace in," his lips curved upwards and he held his hand out for you to take. You gladly took his hand and he helped you onto the boat.

You sat across from him and crossed your legs on the ornate seat. "This is one of my personal modes of transportation," you explained. "You don't think a damned soul would travel in a boat kissed with diamonds, do you?" You asked with the slightest hint of amusement in your voice. As soon as you said the word 'kissed' Roger's eyes flickered to your lips, they had a bright shade of crimson on them making the rest of your stunning features pop. "Elysium is the place for the especially distinguished. It isn't as strenuous on souls as the other parts of the underworld are. They have it easy there...too easy..." you added, almost annoyed. Roger smirked and the little puff of amused air leaving his lips intrigued you.

"Why is there a place like that here?" He chortled.

Your eyes looked off into the distance, your fingers clasping together loosely. "Even a wretched place like this deserves some beauty...the darkest of places will always have glimmer of light." Your eyes flickered to Persephone who was looking at you with that same twinkle you saw in his eyes earlier.

Roger kept asking you questions and you were happy enough to answer them, he was immersing himself in the experience well. Even when you took him to the more gritty areas he seemed unfazed- probably because he was looking at you half the time. "I tried to find out more about you, mainly from your father," you stopped waking and sharply raised a brow "Dropping subtle hints here and there but..." Roger sighed "He mainly talked about your two brothers."

"Of course he did," you said in a completely unsurprised tone and continued walking. "My wonderful, amazing brothers!" You faked your praises. "One a god of the skies and the other the sea. Although, Zeus and I have rulership over over some areas of the seas. Mine is the darkest of abyss'. The very pits of the ocean. By my fathers request." You lowly spoke, staring off into space. "I think he's afraid of me..." you murmured to yourself but Roger heard. "Well, here we are," you walked back into your palace to your throne, sitting down on it and looking down to Roger. "I can send for Hermes to take you back. I hope your visit wasn't too disappointing."

"It wasn't," he grinned and pet Cerberus again when he approached the him. "I actually hope to visit you again."

You didn't answer him for a moment, he was engrossed with petting the hound. The sight gave you that tingling feeling in your chest again. "Perhaps you can." Roger stopped petting the dog and looked up to you in shock. You tossed him another coin "Maybe you'll even reach third time lucky and I'll give you special access- then you won't need to cross the river, you'll end up right here."

"I'd like that...I'd like that a lot." Roger grinned and stepped forward towards you. Cerberus didn't even let out a growl, you knew that was a good sign. It meant that your guard dog found him trustworthy and unthreatening. He pulled out a flower from thin air and handed it to you "Because maybe you needed one more," he softly spoke, his eyes fixated on your facial features.

You looked up from the ice white flower to Roger. He went to step back but you reached out your hand and grabbed his wrist in a moment of sheer madness. Roger's eyebrows almost few off his face but he smiled at the warm contact. "Why?" You seriously spoke in a dark tone and his smile fell ever so slightly. "What are you trying to gain from being here? Is this some sort of act of defiance against the other gods up there?!" Your voice raised slightly and you stood up. "You provide so much happiness, vegetation, flowers, life..." Your voice cracked ever so slightly. "So why would you come to a place that is barren?!" You questioned. "Those things do not and will never exist here so why come and why want to come back? What could possibly bring you joy here?!"

"You!"

You stumbled back a little in shock- completely taken aback by his response. Then Hermes arrived, looking between the two of you and feeling the tension. "Are you ready to leave, Persephone?" He asked.

Roger looked deep into your eyes. 'No'. "Yes."

You nodded to Hermes and in a flash the pair of them disappeared. You sat back on your throne and admired the rose in your hand, it managed to make you smile.

•••

Hermes kept a pair of narrowed eyes on Roger when they arrived back his room. "Why are you so infatuated with Hades?" He asked. "And don't try to deny it- I see how much you're trying to impress her."

Roger shook his head, he was back in his normal robes gazing down and wondering what you'd be doing and if you'd be still holding the rose he gave you. "She's...different," he smiled. "I don't know what it is but I feel alive being with goddess that lives in such a dead place. And I made her smile!" He longingly sighed and placed his hand to his heart while biting down on his lip. "Ugh that smile! I wish I could make her do it more often because it's just so damn beautiful- even more beautiful than all the flowers I've created!"

Hermes folded his arms "I see..." was all he said. He did see. He could see how much the poor god was falling in love with you. But maybe that was a good thing. "I best be off."

"When you you come and get me tomorrow?" Persephone asked.

"Tomorrow?" He repeated with raised eyebrows. "What do you mean by 'tomorrow'?" Roger showed the messenger the coin you had gave him. Hermes was shocked. You very rarely had guests, let alone invite anyone back twice- especially the very next day. Hermes blinked and slowly nodded "U-uh..." he let out a laugh as he breathed out and scratched his head "Okay...alright, tomorrow."

"What is it?" Roger asked, putting the coin away in a safe place. Hermes didn't reply- he just held out his hands with a smirk and then left. Roger huffed but looked down through the clouds again, his mind drifting back to you.

———————————

• Part one • Part two • Part four •

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[allyhq]

TIMEFRAME: June 10th, evening.

LOCATION: The apartment.

TAGGING: Brady Clarington & Stevie Evans. ( @therealstevee )

WARNINGS: None, just dumb boys and some lowkey feels later.

“Dude, if you’re gonna make shitty videos can you at least not be in my room to do it? ‘Cause only one of us is gonna have to edit all the shit out of it when you’re done.” Not that Brady was actually going to sleep or anything like that. He just liked giving Stevie a hard time, and no doubt did so more than anyone else. He sat up in his bed, reaching up and running a hand through his hair. “And if you try to put me in this vlog I will end you. And your career.”

Stevie lowered his phone just slightly, but didn’t stop recording. “Uh, excuse you. Fired.” He zoomed in towards Brady’s face and grinned to himself before finally stopping it completely. “How dare you call my videos shitty. ‘Just okay’, yeah. But shitty? I thought we were friends.” Stevie came over and let himself fall heavily on the bed beside him, the phone still in hand. “Come on, just one sec for the thumbnail. Let everyone see that bedhead look you got goin’ on, you’ll gain like a thousand followers in like ten seconds.” He raised the phone up, camera pointed towards them, but he didn’t press record just yet. He was mostly giving him a hard time, but he wasn’t gonna film him without his permission. “Let me be the camera man just this once.”

“Bro, I’m about to roll you right onto the floor.” He thought he could just sit on Brady’s bed, in Brady’s own room and disrespect him like this? Unbelievable. “Jeez, fine, put me in the freaking vlog.” He paused. “But for the record, you’re way overestimating your instagram power and I think the universe knows that.” He waited until Stevie started recording, and then Brady reflexively threw up a peace sign at the camera. “Sup fam? Tell ya boy to stop harassing me in my safe space.

“Sounds fun bro, but you don’t have to hurt me. I’m clean; I showered.” Stevie defended himself lightly, truly not thinking that there was any issue with him being there. In fact, he scooted up further on the bed after he’d kicked his shoes off, getting far enough to sit up next to him. He wasn’t thinking about invading his space at all, although he made a mental note to bring him a Starbucks later on for putting up with his ideas. “You’re underestimating our fans. I’ve gotten a buncha DM’s about them wanting to see us in bed together so I’m just listenin’ to the audience.” At that moment, he held his phone up and hit record. At Brady’s response to the camera, he fake glared in his direction. “Hey! I always let you in my room, that’s not fair. Sorry guys, I’m pretty sure I just woke him up, but uh — here he is. I know you hate me and all Brady, but can we do one Q&A? Please? I might have asked them to send us questions earlier.”

“I don’t think this is exactly what they meant by that.” Though Brady was sure this would be taken out of context once it went live on Stevie’s channel. He’d obviously seen the comments. Stevie never really thought about how stuff like this would be taken, it seemed, but Brady always took note. Not that he’d ever say anything, because he knew the truth so it shouldn’t be a big deal. Brady rolled his eyes, but Stevie had already promised his audience something to look forward to, and Brady wasn’t about to be the asshole that let that all go to waste. “Ugh, fine. But we’re keeping it surface level. Not in the mood for your deep questions.”

Stevie just smiled at that and shrugged. He knew what their followers said about them, and it never bothered him in the slightest. It was always kind of funny to him, and he'd be lying if he said he didn't like the attention his videos brought him. Brady was his best friend, so he never thought twice about joking around with him about it. Brady was straight, so he knew he never took him to heart. "I promise, no deep questions. An' you can cut this out and edit it to make me seem like the bad guy. I owe you after this, dude." He said, his tone almost apologetic, hoping Brady wasn't really upset about it. Quickly, he got into character, clearing his throat dramatically and grinning easily as he held the camera up so they were both in view. "Okay, time for a BRAVIE Q&A." He shook the camera a little in his hand, creating his own sloppy affects. "I'll just do what I remember, sorry if we leave anyone else guys." Stevie squinted as he strained to recall the questions he saw on twitter, and he turned his head towards him. "What's the biggest thing I do that annoys you the most? And you CAN'T say breaking into your room." He wagged his finger in his direction. "That's already obvious.”

Right, he did have the power of editing. Brady liked having control over things in general, which was probably one of the biggest reasons he was ever okay with being in these videos. At the end of the day, he had a huge say in what parts of himself were shown. “The thing that annoys me most?” Brady repeated, thinking about what the best answer would be. “Probably just taking my shit without asking. Like my clothes you wanna borrow or whatever. Like... I know I do the same thing to you, but it still annoys me when you do it.” He shrugged. The least he could be was honest.

Stevie sat up straighter at that, not truly hurt but playing it up for the camera. Sure, okay, he might’ve borrowed things from time to time. He might even be borrowing one of Brady’s shirts right now. But what was so wrong with that? So maybe Stevie's boundaries weren't the greatest, but he never thought it bothered him that much. “So you can take my stuff but I can’t take yours? Well okay.” His brow furrowed as he processed, and he addressed the camera. "If y'all wouldn't mind me borrowing your clothes, like this video. One of you could be my replacement Brady." He joked. "I wasn't asked, but my biggest peeve is when you get mad at me then do the same thing. Like eating the last waffle. How are we even friends?" He teased then waved towards Brady's phone. "Wanna pull up twitter and read off a couple'a questions for me? Your pick."

"Did I say that?" Brady challenged. He and Stevie were always like this, just back and forth banter and picking on each other. He rolled his eyes at Stevie's response, but grinned regardless. "If I eat the last waffle, I replace them. Like, damn dude, I'm not an animal." At Stevie's suggestion, Brady shrugged. "Not really, since this wasn't my idea, but I guess it's kind of expected of me now." He grabbed his phone and went over to Stevie's twitter so he could find the questions. "Uh... okay, while I'm looking why don't you tell me the thing you like about me?"

"You didn't not say it." He replied back, the grin appearing on his face as though second nature. It was always so easy to tease Brady; it'd been that way since they met. "Okay, I'll give you that. It's having to wait for the waffle I don't like --- ya boy gets hungry." He conceded, jokingly. Stevie sat up, almost excited that Brady was finally getting into it. About time. The only thing was that his question caught him off guard, and he looked at him for a moment in thought. It took all he had not to blurt out something dumb like your eyes or your smile or i like the look you give me that i never see you give anyone else. But he had plenty of practice keeping those thoughts quiet, so he immediately shut them down. "I like a lot of things about you, dude. There's a reason you're my freakin' camera man - don't act like you dunno." Stevie said sincerely with a shrug, trying to play it off. "But the thing I like the most?" He considered it briefly. "I like how you never treat me like I'm dumb. Even when I am.  And how you put up with stupid shit like this." Ain't that the truth.  Stevie scooted back some and peeked over his shoulder to read the question's as Brady scrolled. "I'd ask you the same but I feel like I'm pushin' my luck here."

There were few things Brady wouldn't do for a waffle, so he had to give it to Stevie. Dude had a point. "I'll try to make a household announcement when I eat the last one so at least you're aware." And he would certainly remember to yell it at the top of his lungs. Brady pressed his lips into a tight line when Stevie started answering the question, mostly because...well, he didn't really expect it, he supposed. He thought Stevie would have more of a joke answer, and he wasn't prepared for his stomach to sink the way it did, even if it was just Stevie being a good friend and saying something kind about him. "I mean, you're not dumb, you just...do dumb things sometimes. But like, whatever bro, we all do." Brady shrugged, trying to push it all to the back of his mind. "I like that you haven't fired me and kicked me out yet," Brady said with a smirk, still scrolling through the questions. A cop out? Sure, but that was Brady for you. "Here's one. What do we wanna dress up as for Halloween this year?"

Briefly Stevie imagined Brady with a giant megaphone to alert him whenever they were low and the important stuff --- like waffles. That'd be the only legitimate reason to get a megaphone, but he had a feeling that they'd abuse that fast. Wow, he was really maturing. As Stevie finished speaking and Brady had a chance to process what he said, Stevie was suddenly nervous. He wasn't shy about telling someone when he cared about them. His family always was affectionate and vocal about those things. But for the first time he was briefly concerned he'd said too much. But thankfully Brady didn't notice. Stevie relaxed with a small grin. "Yeah, I know. That's the other thing I like about you. You do dumb things with me." That's what he liked about him from the start, after all. "Uh --- I have fired you. Several times actually. Not my fault you keep coming back for more."  He wasn't able to read a lot of the questions as Brady flicked passed them, but there were some he caught glimpses of that he was glad Brady decided to skip passed. Yikes they had some dedicated fans. At the question, he felt his energy rise, and he gently hit Brady in the arm. "I was thinking about this, dude.  I have a couple of ideas. But I'm thinking we blend is as the security and see if anyone even notices us. We can film the whole time at one of the giant ass parties and they can't even kick us out for it. Smart, right? Unless you got any better ideas?"

Brady shrugged. “Yeah, I guess that’s true.” He had, in fact, been fired several times. He just never took it seriously, because obviously Stevie didn’t mean for it to be taken seriously. Until the day he did, at which point... well, Brady would probably figure it out pretty quick. “Bro, that’s the best.” The idea of playing the part of security at a party they clearly were not security for was downright hilarious. "I don’t have any better ideas. That’s kinda perfect.” He sighed as he continued to scroll. “Alright, let’s see here...”

[catshapecuck]

“I could start smelling you”

So do y'all know that part in the dark vs anti bloopers where they’re looking at each other and then start laughing and Jack jokingly says “I could start smelling you” well I’m awful and decided to right a short one shot based around it sorry anyways so this one shot is all basically in Jack’s pov unless stated otherwise there’s no septiplier it’s mostly just anti being a dick it didn’t turn out exactly how I wanted but anywho enjoy I guess (if you want a version without zalgo just comment and I’ll post it)

[]

“So it’s decided then. The Jackscepticeye will be spending the weekend at my house. Wow, I think I might just faint.” Mark says while fanning himself exaggeratedly.

I roll my eyes. “Shut up, Mark. Or should I say Markiplier?” I raise my eyebrow at him, teasing.

He chuckles. “Alright, alright. I gotta go give Chica a walk. I’ll see you friday?”

“Mhm. I’ll text you the flight times. Bye!” I smile.

Mark waves with a bye before ending the call.

I sat back with a sigh. I couldn’t remember the last time we’d gotten to sit down and have a good chat, nevermind see each other in person.

I hear a giggle beside my ear. “Lo̸o̢k̛s͟ ̵li͘k̡e͝ ̶y̛ou ͘a͝nd yo͏ur p҉r̨inc̨e͝ ͟wi͠ll͜ fina̡lly͡ ͠b̶e̸ r̴e̕u̢nìte͜d̶ ͘aft͜er͝ s̴o ̶lon͏g.̕ ̢A̷h̀,͜ yơun̢g ͡love,͞ ͏h͢ow̕ ̧p̀r͞ec̵io͟us̨.͜.͝.͏” I roll my eyes.

“Knock it off, Anti. For the last time, we’re just friends.” I didn’t even turn to look to the side, already knowing he’d be right there floating in the air, a smirk plastered on his face.

“T͢h҉a̕t’s ̧ẃh́at t͢h҉e̶y ̛all say, ̵Jack̶ie..̶.” I sigh again. God, it’s like talking to a brick wall.

“I don’t have time for this right now. I need to start preparing back up videos and getting my shit together; go and play games or somethin’.”

“H̀mp̧h͢,͞ ͡you̧'͜ré n̶o͟ f͝un̕..̛.”

I shiver as he enters back into my body, most likely going back into the mindscape to sleep.

Not only was it gonna be hard enough to film enough videos for 3 days whilst getting ready to go spend the weekend at Mark’s but Anti isn’t gonna make it any better. Mark knows about Anti and I know about Dark but the two haven’t met and neither have we. And Anti being Anti well… You just never know what he’ll do.

This is gonna be a long week…

_

Mark’s POV

I wave and press end call.

“So I take it Sean will be spending the weekend with us.” I jump and turn my chair around to look at Dark who stands on my left in his usual stance, hands behind his back.

“Jesus, Dark. You can’t just sneak up on me like that.”

“My apologies; so is that a yes or no?”

“Yes, Sean is coming over for the weekend.”

“Ah, I assume Anti will be coming as well. I can finally see what I’m up against.”

I rolled my eyes. “You’re not "up against” anything Dark. In fact, you need to be on your best behavior.“ He glowers and says nothing before dissolving back into the shadows. I sigh.

_

"Ąh̛, t͜he ͏s̕w͞e̴ȩt̵ ̴smell ̵o͠f̵ di̶ab̶etes͏ ̛and͢ ͠d͟emoc͝racy͢.͟.̸.̷ ̛J͟u͏s̢t ̧h́o҉w̕ ͟I͡ ̸ṕi̵çtured͏ ̴it."͟ Anti says as soon as we get out of the little tunnel connected to the airplane. He’d come out as soon as I’d gotten off the airplane. I guess he’d gotten bored of just annoying me in my head so instead decided to annoy me in person. No one could see him except me obviously and it was hard to berate him without looking insane. He kept glitching ahead of me as we made our way to get my luggage but had now settled down to float beside me.

"I ͝çan'̛t wa̶i̕t҉ ́t͞o ͝f͜in͝a͏lly̷ s̴ee͘ M͠arki͞m̢oo͠ in p̷ers͏on. I҉ ̸w̨ond͘er h̛ow ̀t҉áll͝ ͝he҉ is̶…̵"̨ Anti had been talking about Mark the entire flight and wouldn’t shut up to even let me take a nap.

We get to the luggage conveyer belt thing and wait for it to start coming out. Anti walks back and forth in the middle of it, hands behind his back.

"You sound like you’re more excited to see him then I am.” I say under my breath.

“W͞èll͢ ýou͠'͞re͢ ͢co͜n̢st͡a͢n͞t͟l͟y t̀a͏lk҉i͞ng to͡ ͟him ̷a͠n͡d̢ yoų ̧k̢eep̛ ̀re͝f̨u̧sin͟g t̛o s̵how҉ ̶me͟ ̶hiś ̨I͟P͘ ̕ad̨d̀rȩs̕ş ͝so tha͢t͢ ̴I ça̕n ͞go͜ ̴s̴e̛e͠ ̸h҉i͟m ́so͜ ͜th͢e̡ m̵yster҉y͝ is ̵kill̕in͟g mȩ.̧”

I wish.

“Well now you can finally see him. You do know you’ll also be seeing Dark too right?”

He shrugs. “́Ȩh͝,͢ I c̵óu̧ld reálly ̶do̢ ẃit̢ho͜ut ̸him̛ ̶b͟ut hey͞ wha͝t ̷c͝a͞n ̡you͞ ḑo?̕"̵

I grab my luggage from the conveyer belt and Anti appears beside me, well, behind me on my suitcase as I start walking.

"́So lover ̀b͝oy ͝i̧s͡ ̢picking ̢you ̧u̡p?"̷Anti says with a teasing tone. I roll my eyes.

"Yeah, why?”

“̛O͝h̴ y̵'̡know, th̕e͝y ̀s͞ąy͜ 9 ̀o҉u̧t ̕of҉ ̕1͘0 p̨e͏opl͡e͡ ͠d̵ie͘ ̧f̨r͠om̷ ͝di̵str͘ác̸t̨ed͝ d͡ri̢v͞įng͏.͏.͞.̴”

“Anti…”

“͘A͜n̨d͠ I͘'d̶ ͟be͏ ̷p͞r̨e͝t̛ty dįst͜r̸ac̨te͠d ͘myşel͠f wit͘h͞ a̴ļl t̵hat ͟he͜a͞t ́g͢o̸iǹ'͏ on͜…͏”

“Anti, don’t you dare…”

“́He̸y, I'm̢ ̡j̴u͡st̢ ͟şa̵y̨in̡’ ͏tha̵t͏ ͞m̢áyb͞e yo͜u sh̢o͘uld ͘p̶ųl̸l̸ ov͘er b͞e̢f͘ore҉ you͜ ̨d̴e͡çide t̀o ̡pu̸ļl ̡oùt́ if̡ y͝a̵ ͘kn͝o̢ẃ ͠w͝hat I͞ m͡eaǹ..̛."͜

"Anti!” I shout, stopping in the middle of the airport, people sending me glances of what is probably what-the-fuck-is-wrong-with-that-guy as Anti giggles and then bursts out laughing, retreating back into my mindscape.

“Hehe… Sorry?”

_

“Welcome to my humble abode,” Mark says bowing dramaticallyat the side of the door. I laugh and walk inside, my suitcase trailing behind me. He shuts the door then leads me to his guest room where I put all my stuff.

“I’ll get dinner started if you want to settle in or something.”

I smile. “I rather harass you while you cook instead.”

He laughs and we head to the kitchen where I sit at his breakfast bar while he goes from cabinet to cabinet pulling out various ingredients and pans.

“So what’re ya making?” I say.

“It’s a surprise.” Mark stops for a second to wink at me and I laugh.

“Speaking of surprises-”

“Mark, where is my book? I know you moved it, don’t even try to lie.” I turn my head to the side to see who I assume is Dark coming from the hallway into the living room.

The whole place is pretty open so the kitchen, living room, and dining room are all together in one area and then there’s a hallway that leads to my room.

“Oh, I hadn’t realized you were here yet. Hello, I am Dark. You must be Sean.” He says as I hop off my stool to cautiously walk towards him. He keeps his hands behind his back but gives a small bow.

“Yeah, that’s me…” Wow͞, y͟ou h̵a̡v͏e̢ s̴u͡c̷h a wa͡y w͡i͏t̀h̀ wor͢d͢s͝.͡

“Shut up…” I whisper. Dark looks at me quizzically. “Anti,” I say, pointing at my head.

Mark comes around to join us in the living room and stands next to Dark.

“Ah, will he be joining us this evening?” Dark says.

“Um, I don’t know… He’s kind of…” W̷h̸at d̨o͞ ya̛ ́ḿe̛a̸n you ̀d͞on̨'͞t̕ kno̸w?͜!́ S҉o͏ He̶ ̧c͞an͞ ̀c͡óm͜e͏ ͡ou͠t̕ ͝but ̢I̧ ͜can̕'t̸!͏ ̸

“God, you can come out just stop yelling…” I say, rubbing my temples. As soon as I say it, the tv turns on to static, the coffee maker sounds like it’s dying, and the lights start to blink. Mark looks a bit worried as this all starts while Dark just looks around not betraying what he thinks.

“Jesus, you’re dramatic…”

_

Mark’s POV

Glitchy giggling is heard all around as what looks like green smoke starts to come out of Sean’s chest like a stereotypical ghost. He shivers as soon as it stops and starts to form into what looks like a human.

The smoke becomes clearer and what’s left standing is an exact copy to Sean but with ripped black jeans, a black shirt, gauges, and huge cut across his throat, blood oozing out of it.

He opens his eyes and I almost jump as his eyes are fully black but soon clear to Sean’s regular blues.

“O͜h̀, h̕o̕w ex̴cit̕i͠ng!̛"He giggles and starts to step towards me. "Mar͞ki̵m͡oo in͝ ͜th̴e̵ ̴fl̀e͟s͝h̵ an͘ḑ ̴his͜ ͝emo͡ ͠siḑek̡i̡çk̀…͡ ͡I͞'͝d t̷h҉ǫug͜ht you ͠w͝o͡u͢l͠d̴ be tal͢l͞eŗ.̸” His whole body glitches and then he’s behind me. He keeps going around me, glitching here and there… smelling me?

“Are you smelling me?” I ask but look towards Sean who is still rubbing his head.

“Yeah, he does that whenever he meets anyone. He’s like a damn dog…” He basically whispers the last part.

He finally stops glitching everywhere but is now in front of Dark. Oh god…

“Ah ͜an͝d͏ ̢Pa͟nic̕!At t́h͡e͘ D̷i̡sco h͜im͠sȩl̀f.̡..̵”

“I have a name.” Dark says, clearly irritated.

“̛Óh͜, I͘’m s͡orry͟ ͘Dar̛ki͘po̡o, ͠yǫu ̀k̸n̡ow̵ w͘ha͠t'͏s̶ r̶ea̢ļly̵ fu̵ņny̛?̴ U̧m ̕yeah͡,͘ ̷I̧ ̷do͟ń'̸t ̴ca͏r͠e.̨"̡

Dark seems to grow angrier and I can already tell…

This is gonna be a long weekend.

[thesinglesjukebox]

BRUNO MARS FT. CARDI B - FINESSE (REMIX) [6.77] This one's for you, James! (Spoiler: the next two are also for you)

Katie Gill: I am 100% here for the Bruno Mars Tour Through The Decades. 1970s retrofunk, 1980s Kool & the Gang R&B, and now 1990s Bell Biv Devoe New Jack Swing -- complete with an amazing homage video (they kept the frame size, y'all!). As always, Mars gives us a pitch-perfect homage that's draws enough from the original style for a beautiful throwback but adds in fun, fresh takes. The song lyrically doesn't bring anything new: it's just 'damn we look good.' But more and more, it seems you don't really listen to a Bruno Mars song for the lyrics; you listen for whatever throwback sound he's reworking today and you watch to see Mars be a legitimate showman, giving it his all with his charisma and borderline impeccable dance moves. Cardi B is also in top form: she matches Mars's infectious fun and swaggering confidence level for level. Considering what a boring blight 2017 top 40 pop music seemed at times, what a refreshing way to start off the new year. [9]

Edward Okulicz: I hear those drums and this is instantly Cardy! Cardi! Cardé! Very affectionate, very accurate, and very welcome. I wouldn't have said no to more Cardi, but I still enjoy the song when she's not around. [8]

Maxwell Cavaseno: During the holiday visit, me and my father caught up and I showed him a bunch of current generation female rappers that he didn't know of: Molly Brazy, Bali Baby, Asian Doll, Queen Key, just to name a few. Of course he knows about Cardi so we both brought her up and he jokingly called her "The New Real Roxanne." Ironically here she is on this Bruno remix of early-'90s New Jack Swing, the kind of stuff Full Force would've primed up for Roxanne to guest on or even rap over herself -- and she sounds actually like she's having fun. Bruno, on the other hand, is kind of just way too stiff to really engage with. For all the obvious Bobby Brownisms he's going for, the Vegasness that runs through him keeps him from hitting the sweet spot of engagement. Still A+ effort on both parties. [6]

Julian de Valliere: In "Finesse," Cardi's your charismatic friend, Bruno's that guy from her work who you've said hello to once, and the 127 second space between her appearances is when she takes a trip to the restroom while he makes small talk and you keep glancing at your phone's lock screen. Still, everyone has a fantastic time when she's around. [7]

Anthony Easton: I wonder if Cardi B's charm is a kind of rough hewn minimalism, and I know Bruno Mars' charm is mostly a whole scale riffling through nostalgic desire. Neither of those modes read finesse to me. [4]

Alfred Soto: I get that fans get off on Bruno Mars releasing eerie simulacra of extinct R&B sounds. "Finesse" is his Teddy Riley or "Poison" Move, and it's the aural equivalent of a Meryl Streep performance. [5]

Austin Brown: The single cover says it all, really -- the queen of the new generation of hyperreal, social media-bred celebrity, mugging for the camera next to an unconvincingly stony Bruno Mars, once described by TSJ's very own Katherine St. Asaph as an "animatronic sequined suit" for Pitchfork. Cardi's verse is tacked on at the very front, after which she disappears entirely until she throws in some outro vocals. As a result, the two parts of the song (which was basically "fine" before) work great independently, but feel like a weird medley of two generations of pop sitting next to each other. Oh, and here's some added weirdness: the two generations aren't even their native ones, with Cardi mining peak hip-house while Bruno sticks with new jack swing. Come on, Diddy and Blackstreet already figured out how to make this work fluidly more than 20 years ago. [4]

Thomas Inskeep: I love the hell outta Bruno's 24K Magic album, and this song was always a highlight, as New Jack Swing as it gets -- the production/writing teams of Shampoo Press & Curl and the Stereotypes are on their shit. Adding a rap intro from the hottest woman of the moment makes it even mo' betta, though I wish they'd brought her back for a 16-bar bridge, too. Mars may be the ultimate musical chameleon, but damned if he doesn't sound the most comfortable plumbing the sounds of '80s R&B. More, please. [8]

Will Rivitz: I'm kind of ashamed it's taken me this long to fall in with Cardi B. "Bodak Yellow" and "Bartier Cardi"are both phenomenal songs, to be sure, but to me they've never sounded like the glamorously regal performances others have advertised, the rapper vibrantly excellent but not unquestionably dominant. It's taken till this, a new jack swing song which would seem well out of her wheelhouse in which she nevertheless so commandingly stomps all over the track's first thirty seconds that Bruno Mars almost feels like an afterthought, but I finally understand what her fans have been saying. [8]

Katherine St Asaph: Things I didn't expect but probably should have: A) Cardi B turning around "Bodak Yellow" with a pop-rap verse this effervescent B) on a Bruno Mars new jack swing track. Can 2018 be full of this kind of good surprise? [7]

Will Adams: The song knows which side of the bread is buttered, which is why Cardi B kicks things off with a verse that proves her versatility as a rapper. After that, the excitement wears off a bit. As I've mentioned before, merely recreating the sounds of yore as meticulously as possible doesn't always result in a modern jam. And while Bruno Mars is absolutely the best man for the job, "Finesse" rides the line of novelty and creates distance between it and me. [6]

Joshua Minsoo Kim: Not much is as emblematic of Bruno Mars's modus operandi as a music video shot in 60fps with a 4:3 aspect ratio. He creates nostalgic music that's as flashy as it is alien-like, and the only way he seems comfortable overcoming the latter is by doubling down on the former. A line like "Blame it on my confidence, oh blame it on your measurements" is as garish as it comes, but his commitment to the shtick overcomes any apparent personality deficiencies. It reminds me of why a lot of K-pop is successful, and it's one of the reasons why I believe some people have been making comparisons between it and Mars's music for the past few years. Naturally, "Finesse" was produced by The Stereotypes, and this ends up being a stronger effort than Korea's recent new jack swing efforts precisely because of how effortlessly fun it sounds. It's, of course, in no small part due to Cardi B's presence--she plays her role comfortably, utilizing lines and a flow that feel like a love letter to the '90s. With "Finesse," she's already more versatile than many of her peers, and it's the best case for her staying power yet. [8]

Alex Clifton: I still hear the chorus as "trip to Inverness," but I don't even care. This is fun! Cardi B and Bruno Mars are an unexpectedly charming collaboration--Bruno brings his usual upbeat magic and Cardi lets loose a little. It's a delight to hear something that simultaneously invokes the 90s while never actually feeling dated; it's just a shot of joy. I'm ready to start off 2018 with a good party banger to cleanse myself of the past year, and this fits the bill. [8]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox ]

[theficplug]

{My Boyfriend Does My Makeup with Trevante}

{The YouTube Series}

Warnings: none , fluff

Trevante  finally had some time off after his latest film had wrapped and although you were both private about your relationship. You decided to give your boos (your viewers) something special for 307k. 

"Welcome to or back to my channel my boos. I have a special guest today. Everybody say hello to my boo bear. Who agreed to do the My Boyfriend Does My Makeup Challenge with me. Say hey baby." You say to him as he flashes his pearly whites at the camera and you can already tell you're going to have to filter the thirst comments. 

"Hey , I'm uh Trevante y'all probably have seen me in a few things. If I seem like that familiar face that you can't put a name to. That's why. Also looking forward to playing some characters that don't die halfways through." He says jokingly at the end before giving a shy awkward little nod to the camera. 

You take his hand in yours and nuzzle closer into his side to get him to relax a little. 

"What I think a lot of people don't know is that even though he's always in front of the camera. He's also kinda shy and doesn't like a lot of attention on him, but unfortunately for you baby is that BOI WE FINNA BE ON YOUR ASS IF YOU MESS IT UP." You say jokingly as you set out all of the makeup and a little cheat sheet to tell him where everything goes. 

You watch him break into a smile and throw his hands up.

"Ye of little faith. That hurts bae." He says pretending to be hurt with his hand over his heart dramatically. 

"I'm only joking. I believe in you. Gimme kiss?" you ask before he pokes his lips out for you to press a soft kiss to his lips. 

"Alright , I'm ready. Today we're gonna use the Fenty foundation? We're just gonna take Miss Riri's stuff and rub it in, all over the face. You don't really need a sponge or brush or any of that. That's all to get you to spend more money." He says to the camera as if he knows what he's doing. 

You try to hold in your laughter while looking at the camera and shaking your head.

"You're doing good Tre. I feel prettier already. What's the next step?" You ask him as you watch him work. His tongue slightly poking out as he's concentrated on getting your face to look "right". 

Sometimes you just get caught up in how beautiful and kind he is. He always takes care of you and tries his hardest to be involved in anything you're interested in.

"I feel you eyeing me while I work and lemme just say it's highly distracting ma'am. I'm a professional." He says jokingly before giving you a quick kiss. You tug at his bottom lip before kissing him again.

"SHE GETTING DEMONETIZED Y'ALL. We gotta keep it pg." He says before working his way down the little cheat sheet you've left him. 

"If you poke me in my eye. I'm swinging." You say to Trevante as he grips your chin gently while trying to apply eyeliner.

"Y'all see how she be treating me? Gon beat my ass in front of all of y'all like that.  Lemme stop before that's all over Twitter. Shhh, stop fidgeting let me get it right. " He says and you can feel the felt tip going past where the little flick needed to stop. 

"How do I look baby?" You ask as you batting your eyelashes at him and watch his face scrunch slightly at messing it up.

"Hollup it's whopped on that side. Give me a wipe from over there please. . . You said earlier that you wanted to ask me some questions." Tre says to you not bopping along to the soft music playing in the background.

"If you could not love me in this way anymore. Do you think you could love me in a different way? Because you know how when some people break-up. It's so traumatic for them that they can't bare being around the person that they were with because the love there is different." You ask the heavy hitting question that came from an insta sticker. This man was actually a giant teddy bear and pouting at your question.

"For the record I ain't going nowhere. This man put a ring on it." You say giggling and waiting for his response.

"I love you in all ways , always. You know that. But, I'm tryna think about what you're asking. You're saying if weren't together no more. Could I still love you? Absolutely, we were friends before even getting together. When we met in the makeup trailer. I knew that you were going to be important in my life. And that I was gonna love you in some way. But I am grateful that I get to love you this way. I get to love you romantically , emotionally, spiritually, and (cover your ears kids) physically. I'm in love with you." He says before giving the camera a wink and blowing a kiss at them. 

Your jaw drops slightly at his response. You could not be more in love with this man if you tried. You thought to yourself before leaning in to kiss his nose and then all over his face and finally his lips. 

"Damn, I mean I think I like you or whatever." You say to his as he smacks his teeth and shakes his head while laughing at your response. 

"I'm in love with you too Nemour. I only had 3 questions picked out. So here's my second one. When is the wedding? Someone on Instagram asked." You say to him as he nods 

"We have a date and it's in my fiancee's favorite season and that's about all I can tell you on that. But I'm sure when it's all said and done she'll put a cute little video package together for y'all." He says as he applies highlighter to your nose and you look at him before bursting into laughter.

"Of course. I promise my boos will be included into the wedding somehow, but Y'ALL lemme bring the camera in please look at how this man got my nose looking like a Christmas ornament. We're going on a lil date right after this. I'm finna be looking shhmmooking hot." You say sarcastically and he couldn't even stay pressed as he breaks out into laughter with you. 

"Okay so you're on the last part of my routine which is lips. So before you start I'll ask one last question from Twitter. It says what was our first impression of each other." You smile at the question remembering exactly what he was wearing and everything.

"Well I met you while working on the set of Predator. I was like damn okay lil chocolate drop. Can I get your number? No, but really I thought you were beautiful and funny and just like full of light. There were some early morning call times where I was just grumpy as hell and had to wake up at like 4am and have to hang off fake plane for who knows how long. But there you were in the trailer already dancing around to this one throwback song and giving everybody positive morning affirmations.

Just getting shit done too. I was just standing there watching you in your element. Your lil fro bouncing side to side as you swayed around getting all of your supplies together. And I remembered you ordered everybody breakfast with like Uber Eats or something. Your energy had me hooked from the start. I think I'm more of a morning person now because of you." He says as he picks out the lipstick color.

"You never told me that! That's so sweet boo bear. I was just trying to make everybody feel better 'cause those were some long ass hours. Trying to add all the lil scars and makeup and everything so early in the morning was a lot. But I got to spend more time with you so I wasn't complaining. My first impression of you hmmm. I think I was shocked at how beautiful you are! Wait , wait lemme explain. I've seen you before on that one Tyler Perry show as Ramsey before you got killed off. And just like when I found out you were going to be in that film. I was nervous as hell. And when you walked into the trailer with your beanie almost over your eyes and your headphones on like you were too cool for school. I knew I had to play it cool. I just like sauntered over to you and offered you a breakfast plate. It worked though. Cause you was grooving to Brandy too. After that I realized how you have the driest humor, and yet you are the funniest person I know. I mean like dad joke central with him. He be slapping his knee and everything y'all. But he could've been a whole comedian." You say to the camera and he waits for you to finish before he starts applying the deep plum shade of lipstick.

"My humor may be dry but you still be doing the scatter run when I do the Norbit voice." He says laugh softly at you already about to start wheezing. 

"Done?" You ask him as he sits back admiring his work. 

"I don't think I did too bad. Look" he says handing you the mirror as you look closely

"My lashes barely hanging on and my eyeliner doing the Cha Cha Slide but other than that I think it looks good. You did a good job baby." You say giving him a kiss as he smirks into it. Already getting the big head.

"I'm coming for your brand baby. Multi-talented." He says to the camera.

"Alright and with that I'mma end this video before his head gets even more inflated. I seen some juicer questions earlier but y'all there ain't no tea. We sexy but our own type of sexy. I gotta show y'all the photos from Halloween when we dressed as Marcus Burnett and Mike Lowry from Bad Boys... We're that couple."  You say chuckling softly.

"Alright my boos, y'all know what to do. Like , comment , and subscribe if you want. Turn on the notification bell so you can know when your faves fave post again. Who knows I might get him to do the No Hands Kissing Challenge for 400k. And an OnlyFans video for 1 million." You say half jokingly as it flies over his head for a moment before the lightbulb goes off. 

"I don't know about all that maybe 5 milli. Alright y'all , be kinder to yourselves and stay blessed. Byyyeeeee" He says in your voice as he does your outro and you couldn't wait to just wrap your arms around him and love on him.