#why are we SO informed and rightfully advocating for so many good things
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I’m so goddamn tired. I hate it here so fucking badly. I hate it here. It’s 2024. We know better and yet we are pushing these ads and these dogs everywhere, STILL - why do we as a society love animal cruelty so much?? I will never understand.
I’m going to be brutally honest - people are stupid. People will not open their phones to google for three minutes before buying an expensive dog, that lives for 15 years - and media affects people IMMENSELY. Remember how everyone and their mom got a husky (an extremely hard dog to keep, because they’re working sled dogs) after game of thrones? How every single child got a rat after ratattouille, and how most likely a lot of them were abandoned? This happens with frenchies and pugs as well because they are featured EVERYWHERE.
”Oh wow its so ugly i love it ;;” ”Oh it’s so cute I want one!!” No. Dogs who need surgery where you cut their nostrils open just to be able to breathe a /little/ better is not something you should want or support. Animal cruelty is not something you should want or support.
This is a chart for assessing stenotic (pinched) nares in brachycephalic dogs. The open nares seen here are not even actual normal nares - this is what they look like in non-brachy dogs.
There is no other way to say this: these dogs can’t breathe. That’s why they make noises like little pigs - they can’t actually get sufficient air into their lungs because their airways are so closed. They are partially suffocating - every single minute of every day.
Here’s the reasons why:
- the nostrils are closed. you can see how hard and panic-inducing it is to ”breathe” like that by pinchig your own nostrils for a little while. it’s very common to have surgery to cut the nostrils open - but even if it might help a little bit they’re only ONE reason why these dogs suffer
- the face is flattened - this is why the tongue cant actually fit in their mouths, which of course makes the tongue constantly dry and uncomfortable. they also have teeth problems because, again, the teeth literally cant fit in their mouths. they also can’t cool down the way dogs normally do by panting - because the area in their nasal cavity where this happens is extremely small. this, together with the breathing issue, makes them extremely prone to over-heating and dying as a result.
- their soft palates are, again, too big for their mouths and make the dogs’ airways more closed as a result. surgery to cut this soft tissue away is common.
- their laryngeal sacculis are often inverted - think of a pocket of your trousers that is turned inside out. these sacs are located in the back of the throat and further obstruct the airways
- laryngeal collapse is also not uncommon
- their tracheas are VERY thin. That’s why breeding for a different type of bulldog and pug etc is important and thats why ONLY opening the nares and lengthening the snout is not the answer - if the trachea is the dimension of a straw, they will still be unable to breathe properly - and you can’t assess this without image diagnostics, of course��
- because these dogs struggle to breathe and are prone to over-heating they can have trouble exercising and this easily get overweight. The extra fat will collect around the neck, amongst other places, and this can pinch the anatomy of the throat and airways of the neck even further
- some symptoms of BOAS (brachycephalic obstructive airway syndrome) that people find ~cute and unique include:
-> snoring loudly and snorting when breathing. This is because of the obstructed airways and means they struggle to breathe both while asleep and while exercising/walking
-> ”smiling” (pulling corners of the mouth up) and rolling the tip of the tongue is something seen when the dog is labouring to breathe
-> these dogs often find toys to keep in their mouths when they sleep - this is not normal, they do this deliberately because they can’t breathe.
-> these dogs are the ONLY dogs who will be happy about having a tube inserted into their trachea while undergoing surgery. Normally you remove this the second the dog starts to come to - because it is extremely uncomfortable having essentially a straw inside your airways - but for brachy dogs they enjoy being able to breathe fairly comfortably and they will sit fully awake with the tube for long periods of time. It’s heartbreaking.
PLEASE don’t get these dogs and please call out advertisements etc promoting them - because we all know that they are already extremely popular and that marketing sells even more of them. It’s downright evil, and it’s animal cruelty in the name of ~marketing. Yes of course there’s a lot of them in shelters needing adoption - BUT it’s very important to know what you’re getting into. A lot of these dogs DO need surgery to be able to breathe at least partially, and these are invasive and very expensive.
This was just off the top of my head but here’s a link with more info -> BOAS in dogs
#animal welfare#french bulldog#pug#deadpool & wolverine#sorry i know this is likely too long for anyone to actually read but i saw this as soon as i woke up and i get so extremely sad and upset#why do we not care about animal abuse and animal welfare?#why are we SO informed and rightfully advocating for so many good things#and then we’ll turn around and say ’oh i want one!’ about dogs who shouldn’t even exist#and cruelly mock and bully and judge people for not wanting to contribute to the absolutely horrific meat industry?#anyways……. i hate it here 🥰🤗🤗#wearing my ’trust me i’m a vet’ t-shirt#that i don’t own because i refuse to acknowledge the fact that i am….
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2020 blog update
Hello. No idea if any of you ‘remember’ me but I do seem to have a fair few followers on here. I managed to access the login information for this account and it is safe to say this blog is dead. I denounce everything I stood for on this stupid shit.
I’m writing this because it’s what the blog deserves. Not looking to be dramatic, not looking for sympathy, in fact I think i’ll get a bit of backlash for this but bring it on.
The past and the present- a summary
I had this blog when I was 14, unfortunately way too young to have a social media presence (one which carried any responsibility like this one anyway). No matter what age I said I was, no matter how I portrayed myself or how you, my followers interpreted me, I was a sad young trans guy desperately hoping to look big, cool, masculine and stoic, and that manifested in the most toxic way possible.
I’m 17 now, still very very young, and after developments in my life, especially pursuing my medical transition and becoming happy within myself, I no longer hold such toxic beliefs as I once did. I am happier with myself and no longer feel the need to sacrifice others’ dignity, respect, and unfortunately sometimes on this blog, privacy, for my own. I was a very insecure, stubborn, and ignorant teenager, who dealt with a lot of denial. I’m not blaming the way I treated people online on other factors, but of course external factors came into play. I was dealing with bullying and insecurity, with parental problems, and with loneliness and depression. I seeked some sort of community, and I wanted to push myself away from the ‘weak’ trans community (the way I viewed it at the time). I wasn’t in denial personally, with the fact that I was trans (being gay is a different story- I was in complete denial with the fact that I’m gay), more just with the way other people viewed me (I will expand on this). I could elaborate on the way in which I viewed other people and the way that projected onto my conduction online, but it is a complex and confusing story. I have completely changed my viewpoint on trans ‘discourse’, I am open minded, I am close friends with people I would have turned my ignorant nose up at years ago. I am so proud to say that I am a completely different person now. I grow every day, it seems, and I can assure that I will never return to this ignorant mindset.
Growth
With experience, I have grown too. Obviously, from 14-17 i have become more mature. I have different experiences now as well, for example, I don’t bind often at all really anymore, because its more comfortable and can sometimes make me more dysphoric to know I am binding. I’m bringing this up because I bet you back when I was active on this blog, I would’ve laughed at the more mature, tolerant me, and probably went on a tyrade about how I was a fake trans guy or less of a man for not binding. I often wonder what ‘old me’ would think of ‘new me’. Now obviously, three years isn’t a hell of a big difference, but to a 17 come 18 year old it is. I understand I am not an adult yet, but I’ve always taken pride in conducting myself with a sense of maturity and articulacy, and for this post and platform especially I feel it is appropriate.
The Truscum Mindset
Back when I ran this blog, I was in an echo chamber of like minded people, which didn’t help my ideological development. I watched youtubers like Blaire White and Kalvin Garrah, who I thought gave me a balanced, moderate, and fair opinion which is clear is not the case. Back then I would’ve scoffed at the idea of Blaire and Kalvin and other similar people as being radical or a gateway, but I urge you, if you feel you are slipping to obsession with those ideologies, to seek to widen your opinions and associations. I understand it’s a fairly niche discourse topic, but for me it opened a wider rabbit hole into the alt right. From wanting to fit into the lgbt and wider communities as a masculine male, this opened up the black hole of the alt right, I browsed (now deleted) subreddits and 4chan boards, and forums that put me in a very negative and dangerous place. If you’d like me to make a post elaborating on this, I am more than happy to, but this post is to address conservativetranny.
Denial and owning up to responsibility
Back in 2017/18, I was very much in denial of certain aspects of myself, especially my sexuality. I am gay. I thought that this was, and especially as a trans guy, a demasculating quality. I still deal with those feelings sometimes, as a lot of young gay guys do, but thankfully it does not manifest itself as toxic as it once did. I just wanted to portray myself online as how I thought I wanted to be viewed-I didn’t want to be viewed like ‘any other trans guy’. I wanted to be different, but now I can appreciate individuality and I can also embrace being trans as well.
I used to think that having alt views was the coolest thing ever, which contributed to my slip into the alt right, something on which I’ll elaborate on in later posts. I am now an advocate for deradicalisation, and being rational, truly rational. I’m also an advocate for maturity and owning up to your mistakes.
I have hurt people, especially in my personal life, throughout my time as a stupid, thoughtless immature teenager and i am sorry, from the bottom of my heart, for that. I now respect the hell out of those people and unfortunately, but definitely rightfully so, they have lost their respect for me. I don’t blame them, because as I said, up until very recently I was a horrible, toxic person. With maturity, in the past half a year I have been able to own up to my mistakes and I am now taking responsibility for that. No excuses, because I was a shitty person. Of course there is a line between excuses and justification, and I hope those which are reading this can distinguish and appreciate this difference.
Self Hatred and Truscum
Back when I ran this blog, it was very easy to tell I was self hating. Everything I wrote on here, pretty much, was hateful except for the odd two posts that were about something unrelated to my ideology. I was extremely dysphoric and in a bad place when I wrote these things and certainly projected my insecurities onto others. I wanted to find a community of different thinking people that would accept me, and this community was certainly the wrong turn. I had a feeling that it was wrong at the time, but I was too naive and cowardly to own up to it and seek a way out. I kind of just naturally fell out of it, a a lot of things happened in my personal life in late 2018 that forced me out of trans discourse and into much more toxic places like the alt right and true crime fandoms, and I think I’ve only recently ‘found myself’ in the past year or so. I might make a post on self growth on the future as I intend to keep this blog to elaborate and voice my opinions on deradicalisation and highlight the importance of owning up and self awareness.
Don’t fall into the rabbithole
I’m not too acquainted with trans discourse anymore, so I’m out of the loop on this one, but I’d imagine that there’s still ‘transmed vs tucute’ ideas. Kalvin Garrah’s community comes to mind, I haven’t watched his videos ‘as a fan’, if that makes sense, for a while now but I am aware he has a large fanbase of young trans teens that were in a similar mindset to where I was back when I ran this blog. I would love for this post to reach his opposers and supporters for that matter, as a means to show them that they don’t have to fall into this cycle of hate which can be very damaging. I used to be an avid fan of Kalvin, and Blaire White, amongst others. I watched exclusively their content alone and formed my opinions around theirs. If you’re doing that now, I urge you to consider other people when you do. Think about the people like Brennan Beckwith, people who were severely impacted and hurt by hateful rhetoric. Those people are human too, and with maturity you will learn that people with different experiences and views are, at the end of the day, the same as you, and they have feelings as well .I’m going to make a post in the future about Kalvin Garrah, certainly, but maybe Blaire White as well.
Why now?
You may be wondering why this post is being made now of all times, and that is a question that has every right to be asked. I feel as if this timing is right because I finally possess the level of maturity needed to own up to my mistakes and tell you that I was wrong and it was certainly wrong to post those opinions and mistakes online for all to see, and put people in my real life on blast like I did.
I had completely forgotten about this blog, and forgot about the rude and ignorant words I had written towards the people in my real life, until chance had it that I was in contact with one of the people mentioned in this post. [https://conservativetranny.tumblr.com/post/169351517511/no-one-pretends-to-be-trans]
I’m not going to go into the nuances of the conversation we had, but it turns out they had, for a while and definitely rightfully so been hurt by the fact that I had mentioned them, by name, in this post. And while I’d of course still like to keep these people anonymous and will not sacrifice their anonymity in order to tell a story or ‘save myself’, this post is quite funny to read back on as I am good friends with the people referred to as ‘P’ and ‘Shadow’ now.
This is the end of this post, as I feel I have said everything I have wanted to say regarding my previous conduct on this blog. I’m going to change my name on this blog and my bio as I do intend on further posts in the future. I’m not sure how many people, if any, this post will reach, but I’m satisfied I have written this anyway. I certainly do plan on writing future posts but I’m not exactly sure how to formulate them. But thank you so much for reading this far, and if you have, I appreciate it.
#truscum#transmed#ftm#trans#dysphoria#kalvin garrah#kalvin garbage#terf#deradicalisation#i have literally no idea how to tag this#tucute#do people even say that anymore lol
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I noticed some posts pointing out how in the trailer, Ruby and Nora are actually saying what Ironwood had been saying the previous Volume: "This isn't just about Atlas, this is about the whole world," as well as pointing out how their new plan is ultimately abandoning the city they were trying to protect for a safer area and the whole reason was because not everyone made it out, but ultimately dividing everyone further because of the secrets they kept and the trust lost. Your thoughts?
Hey there Miki-chan o/ Apologies for taking so long to respond.
Hmm… those points seem to imply as if the heroes were firmly against the Amity project from the start? I was more under the impression that our heroes took no issue with Ironwood’s plan to restore communication to the rest of Remnant. Where they disagreed was in his decision to inform the world of Salem’s existence considering the grim repercussions it may have sparked as well as how Ironwood’s plans, while with good intentions, were simultaneously affecting the wellbeing of the People of Mantle considering that funds and resources that could’ve been used to reinforce the Kingdom were being pooled towards Amity Arena. Hence the conflict with Robyn Hill and the Happy Huntresses.
With Salem showing herself for the first time in centuries, Ruby and Nora are correct in their remarks. As Ruby rightfully pointed out in the V8 Trailer, currently Atlas (and by extension Mantle) is only Salem’s current target. As soon as she achieves what she desires, gaining the Relic of Creation for herself, she will most definitely move onto claiming the remaining two Relics in Vacuo and Vale. Possibly setting course for Vacuo since she already has her Grimm pawns stationed at Beacon Academy still trying to find the Relic of Choice hidden within the Vault of the Fall Maiden.
The way how I see it; both sides of the coin are in the right to some degree. Ruby and Nora are right for being concerned for the rest of Remnant being victimised by Salem.
Hoooooooooweeeeever…. in this instance, I may have to sort of side more with since he is also very much correct that the People of Mantle and Atlas need their help currently. While the rest of Remnant will be next, at the moment Salem is mainly focused on the two Solitas kingdoms so they should concern themselves with the current target and do what they can there to help the Atlesians and Mantlese who will be hurt then and there in Salem’s pursuit of the Relics.
Basically Ren is more right in saying that the rest of Remnant can wait since Mantle and Atlas need them at the moment so therefore they should be given more priority at the moment.
The rest of the Remnant is safe for the time being (unless Salem sends forces to attack the remaining kingdoms while launching a full frontal assault on Atlas and Mantle at the same time).
It’s a tricky situation and like I said, both sides are technically in the right. But if I had to side with one, I agree with Ren with doing what they can to help Atlas since stopping Salem from destroying Atlas and Mantle and keeping her away from the Relic of Creation does seem like the bigger priority since it has the bigger consequence should they fail.
Buuuuuuuut…at the same time, finishing Amity Arena should also be prioritized since it prove advantageous to everyone and actually help them in the long-run with potentially saving the People of Atlas and Mantle. Personally I’m still under the impression that Atlas will fall taking Mantle along with it. However there is still allusion of Vacuo Kingdom coming to Atlas’ aid that was teased by in V6.
There is still Tyrian Callows’ remark about the fight being turned favourably in our heroes’ corner should Ironwood finally come to his senses and call upon aid from Vacuo. And based on what Watts’ said, technically Oz is the one who can talk some sense into the General.
So with that in mind, this makes me think that we might end witnessing a case where Atlas and Mantle are destroyed but not before our heroes are successful in launching Amity Arena, restoring communication to all of Remnant and possibly sending a distress signal to rest of Remnant warning them about the threat of Salem.
And in response to said distress, Vacuo is the kingdom that answers Atlas’ call for help and much like how Vacuo Kingdom had Vale’s back during the Great War, Vacuo will have Atlas’ back as their leaders send their forces to aid the Atlesians. So while Atlas and Mantle will be destroyed, the People of both Atlas and Mantle will be taken to safety in Vacuo.
I’d like to think that will happen since I don’t think Atlas will survive Salem’s attack. And if Atlas falls, so will Mantle and both kingdoms, that once were praised as the most technologically advanced citadels in all of Remnant will cease to exist.
Both Atlas and Mantle will die---or at least Atlas will surely die--- and its people will probably have to start from scratch; possibly leading to the refugees of Atlas and Mantle reuniting and coming together to rebuild their fallen kingdom---one that both sides can call home. That’s how I see things potentially going but that’s just me.
That being said, I do find it a little strange that JNR_RWBY’s plan was now to abandon the People of Mantle. Wasn’t their concern for the treatment of the People of Mantle by the General and his forces and disliking the effects his actions were having on them not what made characters like Ruby suspicious of him in the first place?
Correct me if I’m wrong here Miki-chan but…wasn’t Mantle the group’s core motivation for their deceit towards the General? It feels as if the pages have now been flipped within our young hero group in respect to their aims. Back in V7, Nora was one of the folks on JNPR_RWBY advocating for the security of the People of Mantle and now when given a chance to aid them, she thinks it best to focus less on the refugees of Mantle and more on warning the rest of Remnant?
Whereas Ren whose intentions seemed to be more in line with Ironwood's is now pushing for protecting Mantle. I guess in that respect, I can understand Ren since the Mantlese were currently going through what he went through back in Kunoyuri. So in that sense I would understand why he would wish to focus on saving as many people down in Mantle as they could now that the real threat is here and Ironwood straight up left the People of Mantle to die out in the colds with the Grimm.
But in this case, I would've expected this to be an instance where Nora and Ren would be in agreement considering their shared experience from the Fall of Kunoyuri and how that event affected them. Not to mention that Nora wanted to help the People of Atlas and Mantle more than ever. Now when given a chance to focus on helping the people, her choice is deviate attention to restoring Amity Arena?
Nora Valkyrie During V7:
“You have to remember that the kingdom lost the Great War. The People of Mantle needed a sign of a brighter future and that sign was Atlas. After all, a home in the clouds is about as bright as it gets.” “…Unless you’re the one having to look up at it.” (V7CH1)
“…I still can’t believe you’re going to that thing.” “Just because Ironwood dislikes Robyn doesn’t mean we all have to. From where I’m standing both of them seem to be trying their best to help Atlas. As to who’s doing a better job” (V7CH6)
“The Amity Project is completely stalled.” “But we’re so close. There has to be some way we can finish the tower.” “There is. Declaring martial law.”
“You’re not actually considering that, aren’t you?”
“What’s more important? Establishing communications. Unite the world or appeasing a few city blocks?”
“Don’t make it sound trivial when you know it isn’t. You keep talking about how we just need a little more time but you’re not the one having to struggle.”
“We have all had to make sacrifices for the greater good. Mantle has had to bear a lot of the burden, yes, but---“
“They’re bearing all of it! The longer this waiting game goes on, the harder each day gets for people down there and now you want to send in more soldiers? You can’t force people to fall in line. If you do that then you’ll just be trading all of these problems for the Grimm!” (V7CH7)
Nora Valkyrie in the V8 Official Trailer:
“Atlas is only Salem’s current target. Once she’s done here, she’ll move onto the rest of Remnant.”
“There are people here who need us right now.”
“We need to warn them!”
…??? Yeah, I expected Nora to be the one to push to help the People of Mantle with Ren since…she was mostly doing that through the last season.
I mean don’t get me wrong, I find nothing wrong with the heroes wanting to restore Amity too since like I said before, it will prove advantageous to them in the long run if through the tower, they’ll be able to warn the other kingdoms about Salem while possibly sending for help.
It’s just…I figured Nora and Ruby would be more favourable towards helping the People of Mantle since that’s what got them in trouble with the General in the first place? It even lent to some of their actions like how Yang and Blake went behind everyone’s back and told Robyn about Amity Tower.
I don’t think the case if that Ruby and Nora wish to abandon Mantle for a safer area, I think it’s more along the lines of them mimicking Ironwood’s actions of leaving the People of Mantle by the wayside while prioritizing the completion of Amity Arena. So basically…the more I repeat it, the more it sounds as if Ruby and Nora specifically have dropped the protection of Mantle (the protection of few) in favour of completing the Tower which could ultimately aid in the protection of everyone since by restoring communications to the world, Atlas could call for aid and this will help Mantle as well.
Or, as Nora put it, they could use the Tower to warn the other kingdoms of the potential of an attack from Salem.
Which…could technically prove more harmful than good since what if…Amity is completed but the minute Atlas sends out a distress signal, Salem instead decides to use Amity as a platform to broadcast the destruction of Atlas Kingdom to the whole world?
Basically imagine…all of Remnant (or at least it’s primary leaders meaning the Councils) being an audience to the fall of the what was originally their strongest kingdom with the impending dread that their kingdoms could be next?
Imagine if something like that happened and the restoration of the tower leads to providing the perfect catalyst to descend Remnant into more chaos, actually serving to accelerate Salem’s plans than put a stop to it. In the instance of this, forget division amongst our heroes---something like that could result in dividing the world and sparking another war.
Heck, imagine if…this results in the kingdoms or rather certain kingdoms choosing to side with Salem for their own and since our heroes stood against Salem, they ultimately made the kingdoms who swore loyalty to her their enemies as well.
All of that is up for consideration but it doesn’t appear to be of concern to our heroes for now. What are your thoughts on that? (Not sure if I actually answered your question. Sorry, I get so swept up in my tangents that I wonder if I actually do answer you at some point with all my jibber-jab so if I have or haven’t, please let me know XD)
~LittleMissSquiggles (2020)
#squiggles answers: rwby#nora valkyrie#ruby rose#rwby volume 8 theories#rwby theories#miki-13#squiggles answers
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The Scariest Encounters Women Have on the Trail are with Men
One of the more chilling episodes in Wild was when Cheryl Strayed encountered two hunters in Central Oregon, one of whom made her rightfully uncomfortable . . . “She’s got a really nice figure, don’t she?” the sandy-haired man said. “Healthy, with some soft curves. Just the kind I like.” And it got worse. In the end, she was able to extricate herself but not without considerable anxiety.
Natasha Carver in “Walking Down a Dream” from The Pacific Crest Trailside Reader: California shares a story of camping near a road. A car stops late at night. Natasha and her hiking partner feel very exposed and very vulnerable. Indeed, the scariest encounters women have on the trail are with men.
This article, taken from the Daily Beast, focuses on the AT . . . but, in general, the issues are . . . sadly . . . the same.
By Melanie Hamlett, the Daily Beast
As a 30-year-old nurse who works with terminally ill patients, Julia (who prefers to remain anonymous) asked herself one day what she would be proud of doing if she too were given a diagnosis of only six months to live. Shortly after, she left Pittsburgh to start hiking the 2,190-mile Appalachian Trail—a highly coveted peacock feather in the cap of outdoor adventurers. But this epic odyssey from Georgia to Maine proved to be far more challenging for Julia and over a dozen women interviewed for this piece because of one factor.
Their being female.
It’s no surprise women experience annoyances like casual or even outright sexism in the outdoor adventure world, but on the Appalachian Trail some are facing more traumatizing problems like stalking, sexual harassment, and even assault. Last May, the unthinkable happened—a brutal murder.
People had been warning local officials for six weeks about James Jordan, a violent “fight angel” who is currently being tried for murder in Virginia. In April numerous hikers reported disturbing behavior, including being verbally assaulted by Jordan and even threatened with a machete. He was later arrested on multiple charges, including possession of weed, and was ordered to stay off the trail. In May he returned anyway and allegedly threatened to pour gasoline on four campers and burn them alive in their tents.
He later chased two of them down the trail before finally giving up. When he returned, he allegedly stabbed Richard S. Sanchez Jr. to death, then chased Sanchez’s female hiking partner down the trail and stabbed her. She only survived because she played dead, then ran down the trail for help once he left. Jordan was found and taken into custody early the next morning. This tragedy became a traumatizing reminder that even in a majestic wilderness sanctuary like the Appalachian Trail, America is a violent, scary country, especially for women.
As a frequent solo traveler and former professional wilderness guide, I’m a huge advocate of women exploring the world, especially alone. It’s empowering as hell. I’ve never let fear (or too many episodes of Law and Order SVU) deter me from solo adventures. The point of telling the following stories isn’t to scare anyone off the trail but rather to educate women on how to protect themselves and to ask should-be male allies to stop turning a blind eye. Until the outdoor industry, which prides itself on being quite woke-ish, is ready for its own #MeToo reckoning, women won’t feel safe.
“Women have no way of knowing who will be the next James Jordan versus who’s just an awkward dude or entitled asshole.”
The Appalachian Trail is a microcosm of American culture but with far higher stakes. Statistically, women are way safer on the trail than on college campuses or in even their own homes. There’s only one rape reported (....reported) every few years on the trail and the chance of getting murdered there is 1,000 times less than in America as a whole. And yet, the absence of deadbolts to lock oneself behind or of multiple witnesses around to deter violent men from attacking us means the occasional trail creeper can be a million times scarier and more dangerous. The only thing protecting a woman alone in a tent from that sketchy stranger she previously encountered on the trail or the seemingly cool one she’s been hiking with for weeks is a thin piece of nylon. “I physically ran into a bear,” says Julia, “and I’d take that over running into a crazy drunk dude any day.”
Despite having overwhelmingly great experiences with trail men, all of the women I spoke with encountered men, especially older white ones, who either made sexist, condescending comments or made them feel unsafe. “I even got ‘smile more,’” Julia says. “It’s exhausting.”
Surprisingly, even woke-ish/feminist-type men creeped many of these women out. Julia said one of her first hiking partners, who seemed progressive, asked to rub her legs. Later, another one repeatedly hit on her and made her feel unsafe. The other guys in her group eventually sided with her and ditched him, but only after she showed enough evidence, like his unnerving texts. The men just didn’t see it, she says. “I’m thinking, how the fuck do you not see this guy is a creep?” Later, while hiking alone, a random guy aggressively probed her about where she was going and who she was with, then found her 200 miles down the trail and threatened to come into the women’s tents while they slept.
Hilary York, a 30-year-old piano technician from Denver, felt a bit gaslit by should-be allies. There were only three men who made her really uncomfortable during her 2,190 mile trek, two of them sketchy enough to scare even the men away. But the third was “your standard hippie type” who undressed her with his eyes and was clearly looking to hook up. When she told her guy friends he made her uncomfortable, they thought she was being dramatic and overly sensitive. Her female friends, on the contrary, unanimously agreed he was creepy. “I think the most frustrating thing is having your intuition downplayed,” says York. Which is why she turned to Facebook.
Most people go into the woods hoping to escape the traps of modern life, especially social media, yet women on the trail don’t always have that luxury. York says an Appalachian Trail group for women on Facebook has become a priceless space that helps women feel as comfortable, safe, and empowered as possible. The moderators are careful not to allow any man-bashing or vague accusations.
As a woman who’s worked almost exclusively in male-dominated industries, namely the outdoors, comedy, and film, I too have relied on whisper networks to feel safe, which is what this women’s FB group does. York says this group was quite critical in getting important information out about James Jordan when rangers couldn't. Oddly enough, the FBI is in charge of crimes committed on the AT because it’s administered by the National Park Service. Some hikershave criticized the FBI for failing to warn or protect everyone from a man they knew was dangerous.
There are a lot of men out there scaring the shit out of women in other ways, which is why we need men to be more thoughtful, pay attention, and be better allies. The stakes are too high in the woods. Women have no way of knowing who will be the next James Jordan versus who’s just an awkward dude or entitled asshole and relatively harmless. Women have to assume the worst.
Since York hiked with a man and has a solid poker face, she felt lucky compared to the “kinder-faced, solo female hikes.” Kristin Forster, a 28-year-old pastry chef living in Hamburg, Germany, had previous experiences with a stalker on the PCT (Pacific Crest Trail), so she knew how to handle sketchy dudes—be nice and calm but don’t answer their questions. But stranger danger wasn’t her problem in the end.
“Other hikers along the way also promised to back Cowan up and help her. But when it came to actually doing anything, none stepped up.”
For eight weeks Forster hiked with a trail partner who seemed chill and supportive. Being on the trail, she says, means you get closer to people faster, especially during extreme weather situations. Like me and my coworkers when I guided on the trail, Forster and her hiking partner would have to snuggle to warm up on brutally cold, rainy days. During one of these times, she felt his dick in her back. “That’s when it got weird.” She doesn’t blame him for getting a boner at all. But when she casually reminded him that she had a boyfriend back home, he flipped a switch and started mocking her and being super mean. She eventually left him because he made the trail so intolerable for her.
Beth, a 39-year-old consultant who’d rather remain anonymous to protect her safety, hiked with a seemingly cool guy for 10 days before he started to attach himself to her “like glue,” hovering over her constantly, even when she needed alone time. She tried to hike ahead several times, but he’d always catch up. After Beth reminded him she was in a committed relationship with a guy back home, he started making comments on her appearance and how attractive she was.
One day he walked up on her changing clothes in one of the shelters, despite her warning him, saw her full frontal naked, then got defensive that she was upset. “I was completely humiliated yet I convinced myself it wasn’t a big deal,” she says. She eventually decided to ditch him for good. Afraid of his reaction to feeling rejected, Beth waited until they were at a hostel in town with the safety of people around to break the news. “His face literally blackened.”
She felt safe once the trail logs were showing him 2-3 days ahead of her. Then she ran into him. He admitted he’d seen her name registered at a hostel and had taken a “zero” day (zero miles) to wait for her. Panicked, she ran after another guy hiking by, told him she was being stalked, and asked if he’d let her hike with him for a bit. Her stalker passed them shortly thereafter and was never seen again. Beth and her new hiking partner, who became a dear friend, hiked all the way to Maine together.
“As women we are programmed to be nice and polite,” she says, “and I actually found it harder to advocate for myself because I had gotten to know this guy.” Other men have since tried to attach themselves to her on long-distance hikes, but she’s learned how to protect herself sooner. “A lot of men on the trail are desperately lonely and will prey on women who come across as sweet and compliant,” she says. Especially if you don’t set firm boundaries out of the gate.
Jessica Cowan, a 38-year-old freelancer from Ohio, set out on the AT alone, assuming she’d find a “tramily” (trail family) like everyone talks about. But she never quite fell in with a group hiking her pace. When she met her stalker, who we’ll call Doc, he seemed charming, generous, and cool. Although she made it clear she had a boyfriend and wasn’t looking for a trail fling or a relationship change, he eventually started to express interest and asked about her relationship. “I found his behaviors really, really creepy, but when I talk about it, nothing I say sounds incredibly creepy,” she says. “I don’t know if it's an overreaction on my part… or if I’m gaslighting myself.” She was even hesitant to use the word stalking when telling this horrific story.
When crashing in shelters, he’d try to scoot his mat next to hers to sleep, wouldn’t avert his eyes when she announced she was changing, and even got caught staring at her when she was using a privy one day. After seeing Doc go on some hostile rants over the smallest things, she knew he was truly unstable. It was another woman briefly hiking with them, a psychologist, who helped her realize he was obsessed with her and that she needed to get a lot of miles ahead of him.
After that, Cowan tried everything to keep distance from Doc. She “slack-packed” (paying someone to drive her gear up the road), pushed her body to the limit, day after day, and even bought a new tent with wildly different colors to camouflage herself. Whenever she thought she was far enough ahead of him, another hiker would say he was nearby. Doc eventually caught up to her at a hostel after paying someone to drive him up the road.
Cowan finally filed a police report so they’d at least have him on their radar. Hostel workers promised her not to welcome him, but in the end, only one kept his word. The rest gave him the benefit of the doubt. Cowan thinks it was just easier to take his money. Other hikers along the way also promised to back Cowan up and help her. But when it came to actually doing anything, none stepped up. Despite her having mostly pleasant encounters with men on the trail, their blind-eye approach was disappointing. “I think a lot of men are guilty of taking that path of least resistance.”
Cowan did keep her boyfriend, Cowboy Knueve, apprised of the situation the whole time. “You have no idea how much sleep I lost,” he says. “I was sitting home worrying about her and this asshat.” Right after Cowboy dropped her off at the beginning of her hike, James Jordan murdered one hiker and wounded another on the trail in Virginia. “I knew how important this whole thing was for her,” he says. “It just pissed me off that he ruined her trip.” Even though Cowan told him she had it handled, Knueve finally drove 700 miles to make sure.
Knueve stayed with Cowan at night and ran shuttles for fellow hikers during the day while she hiked. He says he met at least a half a dozen women who’d done a lot of night hiking and “busted their ass” to get away from this same guy. Cowan and Kneuve tried to warn everyone about Doc.
One day they actually saw him at a campsite, so Knueve decided to confront him. Having googled the guy, he knew he was a multiple felon and had been charged for unlawful imprisonment of a woman. “I wanted to spray the man and kick him until he’s tired…. but I didn’t want to go to jail.” Instead he told Doc he knew he was stalking women and harshly warned him to stay away.
“If anyone fucks with me on the trail this year, I’m gonna punch you in the fucking face and carry the fuck on.”
Before leaving to go home, Kneuve drove Cowan 200 miles up the road to give her a safe distance from Doc. Shortly after, though, they picked up another hitchhiker and she was running away from Doc. That’s when Cowan realized this just wasn’t fun anymore. “I should only have to worry about where I’m getting water and where I’m gonna sleep,” she says. “Not if he’s gonna turn up.” She made it a few hundred miles farther, but finally gave up. Instead of enjoying any hard-earned sense of accomplishment or pride for hiking one thousand miles, Cowan couldn't feel excited about her milestones. It all seemed pointless. “I felt like I was running for my life every day.”
“I encountered a lot of promises of support that didn’t really hold up. Except for my boyfriend, I didn’t see anyone else confronting him or calling him on his bullshit. I think they all just wanted to stay away,” she says. “Especially after the murder.” She’s still amazed that one man could affect hundreds of miles of hiking for so many people. More than anything, Cowan hopes this story will lead to men stepping up. Or at the very least, believing women.
Having solo hiked the Appalachian Trail before, Missy Barger went into her 2019 hike already prepared to play by different rules than men have to. “We have to be hyper aware, but also not jump to any conclusions,” says the 49-year-old photographer from Boston. She watches men closely but plays it cool, never giving them hugs or smiling too much. “And men?” she laughs “Well, they... just get to hike!” Being older, more experienced on the AT and more confident than a lot of her twentysomething female peers, she knows she’s regarded as “one tough motherfucker.” That usually “keeps guys off” her. And yet, despite all this, even Barger ended up with a stalker.
She’d been camping right down the road when the murder happened, so she was even more careful this year. “An odd person doesn’t strike me as different. We’re all odd… cuz we’re out here,” Barger says. But when a guy, who we’ll call Bear, started going on aggressive political rants and undressing in front of her, she knew it was time to bounce. The next day he popped up on her path and wouldn’t let her through. When he appeared a third time and started to verbally assault her, she and her “tramily” hiked four hours in the middle of the night in the pouring rain to get away. They later reported him to the Appalachian Trail Conservancy (ATC).
In the end, Barger had to skip the whole state of New Jersey and half of New York to get away from Bear, but she went back and completed that section later. This detour and return trip cost her nearly $600. Whether it’s the actual price of shuttles, extra nights in hostels, a new tent to camouflage yourself or the emotional burden of fearing for your life, the “female tax” is a hefty one, even in the woods.
Luckily, Barger found great male allies, like Eric Bellavance. This 51-year-old heavy equipment mechanic from Boston and trail vet waited to pursue a romantic relationship with Barger until after they completed the trail. One way he believes men can be supportive of women is to use more self-restraint than they might back home. “You want to be extra aware of being creepy. It’s that simple,” he says. “If they’re whipping off their clothes, just turn away and start doing stuff,” he says. Give them their privacy and space when they need it, keep your distance, and don’t touch them, he says. While Bellavance thinks most thru-hikers, by a certain point, become acclimated on how to interact with women and not freak them out, there are still those who do whatever they want because “it’s kinda lawless” on the trail. “They’re out here because society won’t tolerate their behavior back home,” he says. “We’re all out here because we don’t fit in society.” But this lack of social codes and rules is exactly why women need men to be more careful and step up.
Bellavance says some day-hikers and locals will hang out on the trail and wait for solo women to pass by, just to prey on them. Warning others or reporting them to authorities is one thing men can do. Sometimes he says hikers have to take trail justice into their own hands, though. Last year a section-hiker touched a woman in her sleep at one of the backpacker hostels, so Bellavance and his friend tracked him down and threatened to kick his ass if he did it again. When another male hiker exposed himself to a woman on the trail, Bellavance welcomed her to hike with them.
“We are asking men in the outdoor industry to listen, believe us, step up, and use your privilege to call out other men.”
“I look at it this way—it’s already hard enough, women don’t need any shit from men.” Bellavance lets spooked women latch onto him when they need to since women are way less likely to be approached by a guy when they’re already with one. He never asks women for their phone numbers, real names (most go by a trail name), or social media handles because he knows men are harassing and stalking women online too. When Barger hikes solo, a lot of men ask to be snapchat friends. “Fuck, I just want to hike,” she says. “I have to have extra guardrails up when I post on social media.”
In general, Barger has run out of patience for men’s bullshit. “If anyone fucks with me on the trail this year, I’m gonna punch you in the fucking face and carry the fuck on.” She refuses to be scared off by men and encourages other women not to be either. To help protect current and future female hikers, Barger is very active on FB groups.
Unfortunately, those groups aren’t always safe either.
Shilletha Curtis, a writer from Newark, New Jersey, plans to hike the entire Appalachian in 2021. As a Black woman and a lesbian, though, she’s not sure who will have her back out there, as she’s already faced harassment on her trail day hikes. In a co-ed AT Facebook group, white men have already been harassing her about her recent publication, some posting “Hikers Lives Matter.” The male FB administrators have accused her of race baiting when she talks about racism on the trail. “We need to make these groups a safe space for everyone, not just white members, as Black people do hike.” Latrina Graham’s powerful essay about being a Black woman just trying to hike goes even deeper into this huge problem.
Until white hikers, particularly white men, do more to make the trail safer for everyone, what do the rest of us do? Not hiking isn’t an option, nor should it be. Most women I spoke with agreed that the best way to stay safe is to trust your intuition and to avoid gaslighting yourself or being too “nice.” Always sign guest books as two people or use a male/ambiguous name, invent a “dude backstory” about a “friend” that’s nearby, and never post photos at recognizable spots on social media. Obviously it’s #notallATmen making women’s lives hard... but it only takes one.
We are asking men in the outdoor industry to listen, believe us, step up, and use your privilege to call out other men. That’s what will help us feel safe. We are tired. We need your help.
Because we belong here, too.
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Azaleas
Author: Randombtsprincessa
Characters: Jeon Jungkook x Reader (2nd POV)
Words: 9.9k
Genre: Smut
Summary: The Last thing you wanted was Jeon Jungkook on your case...but maybe you can find it in yourself to come to enjoy it.
Disclaimer: Most of the legal terms and phrases and references are what I found online. If anything is wrong, please forgive me and don’t take me to court.
Warning: A lot of legal talk, Courtroom scenes, Drug trafficking, Wrongful arrests, Cops being morons (sorry cops of tumblr), Inappropriate Courtroom conduct (sort of), Mean teachers, mean classmates, Depiction of drug addiction, Explicit Smut, Protected Sex, Consent taking (Yes, that is a thing, a good thing), Fingering, Oral (Male receiving), Profanity.
A/N: I just...it’s Jungkook guys.
“You’ve got to be joking!” Your sharp voice cracked across the desk over to your boss and friend, Shin Yuna.
Her eyebrows rose, hands coming down to brush against the beige blazer she had on, “No, not really.”
You looked down at her posh office then back at the equally posh woman in front of you. “Since, when have we needed Of Counsels?” You asked.
“We don’t; but this isn’t my prerogative. It’s Hyejong. She thinks we need a broader outlook on a few of our cases.”
You could tell Yuna was trying hard not to roll her eyes at that statement. If there was someone who was even surer of her capabilities than you, it would be Shin Yuna.
“I see,” You mumbled.
Yuna gave you a second or two of an unreadable stare, one that you were well familiar with during your time watching her in the courtroom. It was challenging, goading; it made you want to snap. You couldn’t count how many people had cracked in the stands under that gaze.
You, however, were just feeling nervous.
“What is there, something else?”
“I think it would be best if you got it from me lest you get a nasty shock during the first meet. The Of Counsel is Jeon Jungkook.”
You stared at Yuna.
“Jeon Jungkook…as in…”
“Jeon Jungkook; the successful prodigy of Min Associates; Yoongi is very kindly letting him fly solo and rightfully so. The man has been winning almost all his cases since Min put him in the chair.”
“Yeah, even against us.” You reminded her.
Your mind went back to where you and he had last met. The courtroom, of course, with his and your staff surrounding you as you laid your defense. The judge passed the sentence, in Jeon’s favor of course and you watched the client, your charge of a few weeks now, be dragged away…again.
The last thing you remembered was the smug beam on Jeon’s face as he shook hands with his congratulators.
“Yes, even against us, this is why Hyejong wants him with us on the defense this time. If we can remove him from the prosecutor’s choice, we can get our client off.”
“Do you think that we can’t do it without him?” You asked.
“I couldn’t say. The only way to know is you. You are our first choice of Defense, Y/N. You’re smart, and you know how to bend the rules, manipulate the jury, and work the loopholes. You’re one of our best. The only thing you have to do is…work as best as you can with Jeon. I know you don’t like him.”
“With reason; he’s egotistical and -,”
“And knows what he’s doing…please, try to be patient.” Yuna cut you off to add and you sighed, slumping against the leather chair.
“There’s another thing.” Yuna said, shuffling a few pens on her desk.
“I’ve spoken to Hyejong and we agree that it’s time that our firm has a few changes. We’re sponsoring a few interns who will become advocates, lawyers and attorneys soon enough and we need to manage them as well. For that, we need someone who knows the ways of this Office well. Hyejong retired from the court long enough ago to handle that. So, we have agreed it’s time to pick our Junior Partner.”
You looked up quickly at that, making Yuna smile.
“Yes, I know, it’s a step towards your ambition and since you’re the only active attorney in our firm, you are the natural choice. Don’t get me wrong, you’ll have to work for it. Earn it,” she stressed.
“Of course,” You mumbled, a wave of giddiness swiping thoughts of Jeon Jungkook out of your mind.
“Your first step would be to handle this case in the presence of Jeon Jungkook.”
…and those thoughts were back.
The wood of the conference table felt smooth under your palm, fingers trailing over the filigree traced into the dark oak and the faux leather of your folders.
The atmosphere in the room was tense at your end, your secretary Mina leaning in to whisper to you.
“What are we actually waiting for?” she asked.
You cast a glance at the rest of the members in the room. Hyejong was staring at her nails, Yuna out the window. The last participant present was a young, bright man who worked in the tech and investigation department of your firm.
Jung Hoseok looked up from his phone at your perusal of his pushed back hair, and graffiti shirt and shot you a wink. You rolled your eyes pointedly before looking at Mina.
“For Jeon Jungkook and Park Jimin,”
“It’s 9:13,” she whispered.
“Yes, Mina, turns out our new colleagues don’t respect punctuality.” You murmured.
You were hoping you hadn’t been loud but Hyejong turned her sleek head towards you.
“Y/N, I expect some manners from you!” she admonished.
“Yes, Miss Shin,” you demurred even as Hyejong continued. “At least when the man gets here,”
You caught Yuna throwing you a quick smile just as the door opened with a brisk knock.
Jeon Jungkook entered the room in all his glory, a waft of high-end cologne reaching your nose. You kept your eyes focused on your portfolio, catching the glimpses of his branded suit and perfect glossy hair when you darted them once across the room.
“I hope I’m not too late. I had to visit with Mr. Min before and it took longer than I expected.” You heard the voice come from the front of the room, following Hyejong’s prim voice quickly putting him at ease.
“Fantastic, I brought Jimin with me already so if you’re ready we can start with the primary discussion.” Jeon continued.
“Of course, we have Miss Y/L/N leading the defense; you’ll be working with her.” Yuna said and there was a pause in which Mina quickly prodded you.
You stood up, finally making eye contact with the handsome man who had begun to walk up to you with his hand extended.
“Miss Y/L/N, it’s good to meet you out of the stands.” He joked.
You smiled back politely, feeling the gaze of everyone in the room fixed on you. “Likewise, Mr. Jeon, I hope you enjoy working with us.” You said.
“I am very sure I will, Miss Y/L/N.”
He smiled again when you shook your hands and then sat down into the seat next to you, gesturing for the man with him to come over and sit in the one next to him.
Jimin, round cheeked and plump lipped, gave you a dazzling smile that you happily returned before following his boss’s directions.
“So, what are the premises?” Jeon asked.
Yuna looked at you and you opened your files.
“Lee Jiyoon, 24 years old Biochemistry student was arrested with white substances that upon arrest and examination were found to be cocaine. Amount was alarmingly over the normal rates sold on the streets under patrol watch. Miss Lee has pleaded innocence in the face of being unaware that the white stuff was drugs and to look for the man she had been dating for only a couple months.”
“She’s a biochemistry student? Didn’t she wonder what the substance was?” Jeon cut in.
“She says she didn’t even open the bag. She was just going to dump out the things he’d left behind when he wouldn’t return her calls and the patrol cops caught her in the park near the trashcans.”
“They wouldn’t believe that she was just dumping out an ex’s belongings?”
“They had sniff-dogs and that alerted them. A check later she was taken in.”
Jeon put his fingers to his chin.
“She called for the attorney?” He asked.
“No,” Yuna put in. “I don’t think she would’ve been able to afford us. We were called in by the DA to act as defense.”
Jeon nodded.
“Well, seems straightforward enough. Should we go visit the girl?” he asked.
You glanced at your bosses before nodding, standing up with the others. Mina began to wrap up your things as Hoseok introduced himself to Jeon when Hyejong spoke up again.
“Mr. Jeon, we’ve assigned you an office next to Y/N’s. You’ll show him the way, won’t you?” She asked and you forced a bright smile, nodding as Mina and Hoseok followed the women out.
Yuna didn’t look back at you as the door shut and you were left with Jeon Jungkook and Park Jimin.
There was a split second of a pause as the final swing of the closing door ended before you turned to the two men.
“If you would follow me, gentlemen,” You walked around the table and let yourself out, taking the familiar path to the hallway of private offices.
The Firm building was separated into three floors, the highest one belonging to the bosses while the second was for attorneys and business spaces and the lowest level was for techs.
Jeon sped up a little to fall into step with you.
“So, Miss Y/L/N, I hope that we’ll be able to work together smoothly.” He said.
You threw him a side eye.
“Has there been an indication to otherwise?” You asked.
“No, no, it’s that simply I’ve found I’m not usually well received by the ones I’ve won against.” He said.
You bristled at the underlying hints of condescension in his tone.
“Well,” You paused in front of the door to the office next to yours. It was emptied recently and cleaned out, perhaps for Jeon already. “You’ll find me completely amicable. We’re going to go visit the client in an hour without the secretaries this time.” You informed him before walking to your own office, taking care not to obviously slam the door shut.
The seating of the prison meeting room was all cold steel and though you were experienced in sitting in them for a long time now, you could never really get used to it.
Your eyes wandered to the black mirror on your side and caught Jeon’s refection. He’d been silent all through the drive to the Prison house, eyebrows drawn slightly together and a muscle in his jaw tense. You had to be lying if you said you didn’t find that jaw clench attractive.
You turned your head back to the front again just as Jeon’s eyes found the mirror as well, meeting yours for a split second.
Just then, the locked door to the room opened and Lee Jiyoon was led in.
You hadn’t been able to get her off on Parole, since drug trafficking was a serious crime but you had been able to get her away from the real inmates, putting her in the in-house arrest of the prison itself. She was allowed to keep her own clothes and had most basic privileges in the house but unless you could get her off she was still basically a criminal to them.
The green tips of her hair looked frizzed and unkempt as she sat down with a thump, the long chains around her wrist undone by the security before moving to the back corner.
You saw her glance once at Jeon and looked at him to see him looking at the security before turning his eyes to you, nodding for you to start.
“How are you, Jiyoon?” you started.
“Feeling like I got arrested for something I didn’t do,” she replied dryly and you smiled, lips pressing together.
“You won’t have to be here for very long.” You tried to reassure and she shrugged.
“Honestly, I wasn’t expecting to have someone try to get me off the charges but I guess it’s nice that you are. I’ve heard you’re good.” She said.
“Everyone has the right to ask for a lawyer. Weren’t you read your rights when you got arrested?” Jeon cut in.
“It wouldn’t matter. I was panicking when they cuffed me. I really don’t remember much about anything once I was brought in.” Jiyoon said.
You made a note in the edge of your pad about talking to the arresting officer.
“If you weren’t read your rights, you’re technically not supposed to be here.” Jeon said.
“It’s my word against theirs anyway. I want to know if you’ve found that shit bag Kinjo.” Jiyoon asked.
You sighed.
“We had a sighting a few days ago. Looks like he tried to make a run for it; we have the police in a few states alert to where he might go to.”
“Good, he deserves to be pissing in a metal pot, living in a room with four other people, not me.”
“We’re doing everything we can. The best chance we have is pleading an emotional case. The jury is likely going to go for sympathy for a girl who was throwing her ex’s things away.”
“I don’t know about that. How many people are going to believe that someone like me got emotional over a guy in two months?” Jiyoon rolled her eyes.
“In any case, play to your femininity. This is really not the place to argue feminism. This is just about getting you out of the court and having your name cleared.” Jeon put in.
Jiyoon stared at your colleague a few seconds before looking at you.
“Who are you, again?”
“Jeon Jungkook, I’m providing assistance to Y/N on your case.”
Jiyoon narrowed her eyes before shrugging. “Whatever; when will you next come?” she asked.
“For now this is out last visit, we’ll see you in court on the day of the first trial but your mother is going to be visiting and bringing a few things. Stay safe,” You said, getting to your feet, Jeon following.
“Right…I don’t want her to see me like this but I guess I can’t choose.” Jiyoon looked at the bulky guard who moved to bind her wrists again and you offered her an encouraging nod as she was led away again.
“So, what did you think?” You asked, driving back to the office with Jeon looking over your notes from the previous sessions with the client.
Jeon hummed and you turned to look at him.
“Mr. Jeon,” you called for his attention again.
“It’s a little early for me to form solid assumptions.” He muttered.
“So…is that your way of saying you don’t think she’s innocent?” You asked.
Jeon looked at you. “You’re a lawyer, Y/N. Is that how you read between the lines?”
You decided to ignore the jibe.
“The first trial is in two days. I just want to know whether I have to waste time convincing you of her innocence.” You grumbled.
“Come now, Y/N, in our profession, when has anyone ever been truly innocent?” He smirked and you spent a few extra seconds on time looking at him before sighing and looking to the front again, back to ignoring him.
“Nice job at the defense,” you looked up to see Jeon Jungkook standing over where you were busy filling out some paperwork in the hall of the court room.
You looked back down.
“Thank you, congratulations on the win.” You returned politely.
“Thanks…mind if I sit?” He continued.
“Be my guest,”
Jeon sat down next to you, unbuttoning the suit jacket he had on and leaned back sighing. “That was one tough case. You nearly beat me there.” He said. A subtle hint of flowers reached you but you continued working the pen.
“Well, you won. Another meat suit for the prison,” you mumbled.
He chuckled. “Are you bitter, Miss Y/L/N? I assure you, you don’t need to be. A few years down the line, you might be glad he’s behind bars. Once a man has gotten taste of vice, he rarely ever lets it go.” Jeon said philosophically.
You finally looked up at the gorgeous man next to you.
The first time you’d ever seen Jeon Jungkook was when you were under Yuna’s wing, learning from the very best in your opinion.
She’d been up against Min Yoongi, acting prosecutor in his days and under his wing was the exceptionally bright and handsome Jeon Jungkook, with his soft edged face, doe eyes and a floppy mass of hair. He also smelled very nice, floral and soft.
He’d been so cute; you’d blushed when Yuna and Yoongi had introduced you two, the long standing friends hoping their charges would maybe hit it off.
You would have, if not for your stupid crush, long gone now that you had been losing your cases to him. The amount of wins you had was laughably low to the ones you’d lost against him and while you had a generous reputation in the up and coming law community, Jeon was a stellar genius.
Now, Jungkook had definitely grown into his own, refining with age. His softness hadn’t completely gone, the curve of his lips bore testimony of that and the big nose and eyes were still there, but now he had a jaw line to kill for and his hair was so perfectly styled, it drove a person to want to mess it up just for sadistic pleasure.
And you still liked looking at him…
All in all, Jeon Jungkook was your favorite but worst nightmare.
“You’re very down on your sex, aren’t you?” you asked.
He shrugged a smile on his face. “I am, I’ve seen the worst specimens after all. We all need a better half to keep us in line.”
You rolled your eyes at the line and he quickly shook his head.
“I’m not trying to be sexist. I’m just saying that no one on this planet, not even women, I’m sorry, is completely innocent.”
“Very biblically primitive of you,”
“It does have a few points of note.” Jeon looked down at his watch before up at you.
“I would love to continue this but I have another meeting to get to. Maybe we should meet sometime, have dinner or something.” He suggested.
“Sure,” you muttered watching him leave. It took you a minute to realize that Jeon had taken the soft smell of flowers with him.
Neither of you reached out for that dinner or something sometime.
“We never did get to do that dinner.”
You glanced at Jeon, jumping out of your own similar thought. Was he thinking of that too?
“We got busy.”
“Yes, I’d still like to have that in my schedule though.” Jeon answered and you laughed.
“Smooth Jeon,”
Jeon put his head back to the headrest, head turned in your direction. “You don’t like me very much, do you?”
You frowned. “What makes you say that?”
“I’ve seen you around me. You get all stiff and formal with me and you don’t really smile all that much. I know you think I’m egotistical and smug. The only times we’ve had a normal conversation, I can count on one finger.”
You raised your eyebrows.
Looks like you weren’t all that discreet in your actions.
And now you couldn’t help but feel a little bad…
“I don’t mean to do that, Jeon. You’re exceptionally good at the job, I respect you for that. Just because I’ve lost a few cases to you doesn’t mean I’m going to let my emotions control my intelligence. I don’t completely hate you.”
“Completely…?” Jeon picked and you had to laugh again.
“Maybe I did think you were a little egotistical and smug, Jeon.” You allowed.
“Call me Jungkook. We should try finding out the judge too, if he’s someone I know, we can easily influence the case.”
You blinked at how fast he changed the subject.
“Isn’t that...wrong?” you frowned.
“It won’t matter once I win this case for you.” He said, going back to the notes and your hold tightened on the wheel.
“Will the judge allow for Kinjo to be tried in place of Jiyoon?”
“Oh well, I guess we can find out when I help you win this case.”
You pursed your lips at the 180. His ego definitely wasn’t that little.
Mina was already waiting for you when you entered your office and took off you coat.
“Thank you,” you mumbled, your coffee handed to you as you sat behind your desk.
“So, how did it go?” she asked.
You leant back into the plushy chair and closed your eyes for a second.
“It was normal. There might be a point to pursue about whether or not Jiyoon was read her rights when she was arrested. Have Hoseok look into it,” you told her.
“Right,” Mina quickly wrote it down.
“And where are we with the boyfriend?”
“We had a sighting in Busan but we still need to process some paperwork before we can extricate him. I told Miss Yuna and she’s doing it now.”
“Good,”
“And…?”
You looked around to your secretary in question. “And what,”
“How did it go with Jungkook?” Mina broached.
You blinked.
“It was fine.” You said, wheeling the chair closer to the desk and opening your laptop.
“Just fine…?”
You shot her a look. “What do you want me to say, Mina?”
“Didn’t he do anything? He looks like he’s into you. No flirting?”
Your gaze turned sharp.
“Mina,” you warned.
“Oh come on Y/N, I can tell. I’ve been your secretary for two years now and we’ve been around Jeon Jungkook long enough. He’s into you. Badly,”
You looked down to your emails, ignoring your heated cheeks. “I gave you some work to do, I believe. Don’t forget Jeon Jungkook is here at the moment. You don’t want him to hear these assumptions.”
“Or…maybe that’s exactly what he wants,”
“Enough Mina, leave the sleuthing to Jung and get back to work.”
Mina slumped in her seat, pouting at you before sighing, pushing herself up and out of your cabin.
You watched the door shut before taking in a deep breath, opening the first of many emails to reply.
The court room – a familiar setting to you – almost as familiar as your home, was lightly buzzing by the collecting group of people required for trial.
Jiyoon and you had discussed at the first appearance about whom and what to call on and you were glad to see your words had struck true. Jiyoon’s mother and brother were present at the front of the public seating, looking rightfully worried.
The attorney seats comprised of Yuna, Mina and you, Jeon and Hoseok right behind you.
The judge’s bench was empty and you turned to throw Jungkook a questioning glance. Jeon met it with pursed lips, not choosing to say anything.
You turned to look at the prosecution instead.
The sight of Kim Namjoon sitting in the front chair made you start just a little when the call for rise came.
The room stood up and an elegant woman with wrapped hair in a bun entered, wearing the judge’s gown and taking her seat.
You clicked your tongue mentally. She was unfamiliar, must be new.
“Take a seat, folks.” She called out as you regained your seats.
She ruffled her papers in a flurry then looked up.
“The case for Lee Jiyoon against State begins now.”
Jiyoon sat in the neatest attire they’d managed to show that she was a respectable person and not a lowly drug dealer.
Namjoon, tall and impeccable as usual walked up to her.
“Please state your name for the record, Miss.” He began.
Off it went.
Namjoon had called in the arresting officer, one of Jiyoon’s teachers and a classmate, one that Jiyoon looked confused and outraged had come to testify against.
“Are you the officer who responded first to Miss Lee’s suspicious activity caught by the sniff dogs?”
“Can you describe her behavior that night?”
The cop went into detail about how Jiyoon looked dazed and scared that night, insisting that it was a sign of her guilt.
Even as he questioned the teacher, it seemed they all thought that it was possible since she might have ‘strayed’ after her dad left her mom. The class mate went on about her boyfriend looking not quite right.
You clicked your pen, signaling to Mina.
She leant in.
“I want you to dig into the teacher and this girl, everything from grudges to grades, I want It.” you mumbled to her. Your secretary nodded.
“No more questions, you honor.” Namjoon turned finally, nodding at you.
“The defendant may ask the witnesses questions.” The judge said.
You stood up, brushing the edge of your skirt before calling for the cop.
“Officer Chui, you’re the leader for the night time patrol, correct?” you asked.
The man nodded, looking disinterested at the cross-examination.
“Right and how many kids have you seen in the park at that time matching Miss Lee’s description?”
He glanced at Jiyoon sitting at your side and shrugged. “A few,”
“Would you say that they all looked uneasy at the sight of you?”
He snorted. “Kids always have something to hide. So yeah,”
“So, seeing that you knew that, why would you assume that Jiyoon was particularly guilty of a drug crime?”
Chui paused, looking uncertain for a second.
“She was throwing things out of a suitcase. The sniff dogs caught a scent.”
“Why did you go to her in the first place?”
“I…don’t know.”
You glanced at the jury.
“Officer, did you read her, her rights when you cuffed the defendant?” You finally asked and the man paled.
“I’m sure I must have.” He mumbled.
“Are you? Are you really sure, because the rest of your men don’t recall anything of that sort. Without the rights read, my client shouldn’t have been in the containment she was put in.”
“She called for you right? She has a lawyer so I must have said she had right to an attorney.”
“How long have you been with the Drug Patrol, Officer Chui?”
“Objection,” Namjoon called finally, his deep voice calm but audible across the room. I turned to look at him. “What is the Relevance?”
“Relevant, your honor,” you cut in immediately. “A man with a shorter period of work experience will often make mistakes, small or big, like forgetting to read the rights.” You moved away from the Officer to pull up a sheet of his data, handing it to the Judge’s clerk.
“The records say he’s been with night duty for only half a year. He was coined Chief because the department of the area is new and they didn’t have a lot of people to pick from. Mr. Chui was the longest there.”
“It must have slipped my mind but she got them at the establishment. She was told she could get an attorney.”
“Miss Lee, was this before or after interrogation?” The judge finally asked.
“After, your honor,” she replied meekly.
“Anything said during that examination is nullified then.” You pointed out.
The Officer stared up at you, gaping.
You sighed to yourself. First step was getting the evidence against Jiyoon thrown out. Thanks to Chui, that had been made possible. Now only to get the jury to believe she was completely clean. You’d have to know about the two witnesses.
“Does the defendant have any more questions?”
“That will be,” you began when another voice spoke up from behind you.
“Actually, your honor I would like to call for the second witness. I have a few questions for her.”
You swiveled around to see Jeon walked over to the front. His eyes were intense, staring you down to let him do this and you glanced at Yuna who quickly nodded.
Returning the nod, you gave up the stage to Jeon; catching Namjoon’s puzzled look but unable to answer it as you sat down.
“What the hell is he doing?” You asked Mina
“I don’t know boss, I really don’t.”
The woman came into the stands, looking equal amounts excited and nervous at the prospect of Jeon Jungkook. You scoffed lightly but you couldn’t blame her.
“Your name is Park Cheri of Dais Academy?” Jungkook began.
She nodded, mumbling out a yes.
“Can you tell me about your relationship with Miss Lee?”
You leaned back in your seat as the woman talked about being her Chemistry teacher since the beginning of her studies, giving a few details here and there of her life that you turned to Jiyoon for. The fearful nod of her head confirmed your fears.
“So, you have a habit of talking with all your students like that and pry into them?”
“Objection, Mr. Jeon, the point of the question?” Namjoon spoke up again.
“Point, Mr. Kim is that we just found out that Miss Lee’s evidences are dismissed due to her Miranda rights. It isn’t fair for a teacher, someone who is supposed to be in a position of confidence to come and try to give assumptive testimony.”
“I am not.”
“So, then are you a psychologist?”
“No,”
“Then what makes you so sure of Miss Lee’s mindset due to her parents’ separation?”
“Every child is…”
“Has Miss Lee shown signs of such behaviors before?”
“I wouldn’t know.”
Jungkook looked at the now muttering jury and then at you, a raised eyebrow and smirk accompanying.
“So, then maybe you shouldn’t try to use information like that to gain a few minutes of popularity without properly verifying it, should you?”
“Your honor, Mr. Jeon is being insulting.” Namjoon stood up, frowning.
“Retracted, Your honor,” Jungkook smiled pleasantly at the woman who looked furious now, glaring at the suited man as she was excused by the judge before announcing a date for the next session.
The room began to flood and even as you stood up; you saw Jeon looking pleased with himself, as usual, grinning up at Yoongi and Kim Seokjin, Namjoon’s older brother and owner of Kim Co.
“Wow,” you heard Hoseok say behind you before popping a bubble and you turned to seethe at the man.
“Y/N,”
You turned your companion of the night with a smile, raising your arms up around his neck for a brief hug.
“Hi Joon,”
“It’s been a while, how have you been?” He asked, pulling away from you to pull out a chair for you, letting you slide in.
“I’ve been fine. What about you?” you asked as Kim Namjoon sat down in front of you.
He’d ditched the suit jacket and tie, loosening the top few buttons of his shirt, glasses gone and you had to be honest, a tousled Namjoon looked even better than his put together self.
“Can’t complain, busy as hell, you know how it is.”
You did know.
That had been one of the reasons why you and he had to break up.
Kim Namjoon was the middle child of Kim Co. He and his two brothers were born to be lawyers it would seem. You and he had met in law school, hitting it off immediately. You’d been best friend till dating had seemed to come as easy as your friendship.
Your whirlwind romance had lasted for a very long time, rose colored glasses on both your eyes. He was smart, kind, highly knowledgeable and you were sweet, patient, firm in your ideas and grounding. Together you had been invincible and when you’d gotten your degree and entered work life, the cloud of marriage loomed closer than ever.
Of course, real life knocked some sense into both of you as work schedules clashed and you both decided to call a much needed break.
That didn’t mean your friendship suffered. Namjoon was still your dearest best friend and you held the same spot for him.
Drinks in hand, you began to talk about anything that was unrelated to your case, his booming laughter echoing when you admitted you’d hoped it would be his youngest brother, Taehyung who would be prosecuting.
“He’s still getting the ropes, love.” Namjoon chortled in explanation before sobering.
“So, Jeon, huh?” he asked.
You pointed you glass at him. “I don’t want to talk about that.”
“Really, I remember him being the topic of most of our bedroom rants.” He grinned.
“Shut up, Joon.” You smacked at his arm just as he pulled it away.
“I’m serious. I was really surprised when I saw him on the Counsel. I didn’t think Yuna would ever pull it and I was ever surer you wouldn’t.”
“I didn’t have a choice in the matter. Yuna promised me if I got this case working beside Jeon done smoothly, I’d be considered for Junior Partner and at this moment, winning is in the pocket because I’m the only attorney there with the highest commendation.”
Namjoon nodded as he swigged at the Old Fashioned again.
“You’re as ambitious as when we met.” He commented.
“Not all of us are born into the Law Family who owns the best Firm in the city.” You smiled teasingly.
“Hey, I work as hard as you do, thank you very much.” He pointed at the bar tender for new drinks.
You stared at him as he mumbled to the tender when he glanced at you again.
“Don’t check me out. It’s weird.”
“You’re weird.” You countered very eloquently then grunted in displeasure, looking down at the fresh drink in front of you. “Ugh, I hate getting drunk.”
“We’re lawyers’ babe, but we don’t always have to be at the game. Just relax.” Namjoon slurred and you watched as he looked startled at his own tongue before looking down at his new drink as well.
“Let’s just get a taxi home.” You both said out loud together before grinning woozily at each other.
The patter of pressed keys filled the softly lit space of your office as you typed out a session report for Jiyoon’s case. Your eyes were getting harder to keep open even as you did your best to focus on the blinding white of the screen page when the knock came.
You frowned. You had sent Mina on home an hour ago.
“Who is it?” you called first.
“It’s me,” you heard Jeon Jungkook reply and you huffed in confusion. What was he doing here at this hour?
“Come in.”
Your counselor walked in, probably looking just as you felt. The shine of his hair had dimmed, eyes looking darker, or maybe that was just the ambience of your office.
“What are you doing?” he asked.
“Reports; what about you?” you leaned back in your chair.
“I was catching on a few of your last reports. Ones where Jiyoon told you whatever she knew about that deadbeat drug man and I saw lights on here.” he told you, taking a seat at one of your chairs.
“Did you find anything?”
“I don’t know just yet, we’ll have to wait.”
You stared at him.
“Sure,” you returned to your work and he paused.
“Is everything ok?” he asked.
“Sure,” you repeated.
Jeon stood up, moving to your table to place the tips of his fingers near your elbow.
“Are you upset about the teacher?” he asked, inquisitively.
“Why would I be upset about that? You took hold of my interrogation and it worked well for you, didn’t it?”
You knew your passive-aggressiveness was getting you nowhere. Either Jeon was too tired to understand what was wrong or you weren’t being mean enough.
In any case he pulled away, shrugging powerful shoulders under his unbuttoned suit jacket.
“Alright, I just wanted to let you know that you should lead with the girl tomorrow, before bringing Jiyoon in for questioning again.”
“I know; the girl is a problem. Mina brought me her details and she has no idea what’s coming for her tomorrow.”
Jeon looked down, a smile blooming across his lips.
I’m probably going to be a little late tomorrow to the hearing.”
You hated it but your eyes snapped up to his.
“Why are you going to be late?”
He watched your face slump a tiny bit and smirked, reaching up to loosen his tie as well. The action was simple, yet you could feel your throat close up.
“Told you, I’m going to win your case for you,”
With that, he was marching out of your office, a taps of his dress shoes fading from the wooden floors as far as you could tell before piercing silence fell again.
You glanced at your laptop, feeling drained then at your empty coffee cup.
Your report could wait, your mind blatantly told you and your fingers moved, snapping the lip of the laptop down with no shame.
Grabbing your work files and stashing them into your briefcase, you lunged out the door, eager to get home to your bed when you caught a flash of color in Jeon’s open office door.
Backing a few steps, you stared at the small pot of blue azaleas nestling in the corner of his desk before you shrugged to yourself, feet picking up the journey to the elevator again.
True to his word, Jeon Jungkook was late to the courtroom.
Yuna, sitting beside you again, turned her stern questioning gaze to you and you offered her a small, ‘He’s just running a bit late,’ before you had to stand for the judge and the hearing’s second day began.
Namjoon was back to his best again and while you and he exchanged a small smile during the lull of conversation, both of you became professional real quick.
He didn’t have any questions today, turning cross-examination to you and you were more than ready as you called for Jiyoon’s classmate.
“Please state your name for the record.”
“Son Susie,”
“Right, Susie, you’re Miss Lee’s classmate, correct?”
“Yes,”
You glanced down at the heaps of fliers in your hand.
“How close would you say you are to Miss Lee?”
She glanced at Jiyoon at the bench who was daring her to lie with her eyes.
“Not really all that to her, but I know the boyfriend.” She said.
You glanced at Namjoon, a small nod in his direction.
“Miss Son, this trial is for Miss Jiyoon Lee, not the boyfriend. Why would you apply with Counselor Kim for this testimony?” you asked.
“I…look, Kinjo is bad, ok? Anybody affiliating with him must be too.”
There was a pause and you chanced a look of disbelief on the judge’s face, using it to fuel your punch.
“So, you made a guess as to Miss Lee’s innocence?”
“Your honor,” Namjoon called but you beat him to it.
“I’ll rephrase that. Why did you not tell Mr. Kim you were one of Kinjo’s ‘affiliations’?
The blow had landed. You could see the jury had put its heads together. You held in your grin, knowing Namjoon probably had his head in his hands, figuratively at least.
“I…we broke up.”
“He dumped you. For Jiyoon; would you say this was your shot at revenge? Or were you really concerned about Miss Jiyoon’s future?”
“Objection,”
“Retracted; do you have any concrete proof of Miss Lee’s misconduct?”
She was quiet for a bit, even after you repeated the question and she sighed.
“No, for the record I really thought he must’ve turned her into a drug peddler when they were dating.” She said.
“The session is based on facts, Miss Son, not your thoughts.” This time it was the judge. “We will dismiss this witness of yours, Counselor Kim.” She told Namjoon.
You were backing away to the seats again when Jimin leaned over to you a mumbled word in his voice.
“Jungkook is here, Miss Y/L/N. He wants to show the courtroom something on your behalf.”
You turned a puzzled look at Jimin before nodding and standing.
“Your honor, we have some evidence we would like to enter into consideration.”
“What more could there be?” Namjoon stood up as well.
“The perpetrator himself, Mr. Kim,” The voice came from the doors where you turned to see Jungkook, perfect as usual striding towards the front, two officers holding a cuffed bedraggled man with them.
His face was swollen, eyes bloodshot and skin pale.
“Kinjo,” you heard Jiyoon gasp and Jungkook nodded.
“We found the man himself responsible for this your Honor. He was good at hiding but not that good when you’re high as a kite.”
There was a flurry of movement as people began to fidget in their seats to get a good look at the man.
You glanced at Jungkook, jaw dropped even as he smiled, teeth on display, childishly pleased.
The car drew into one of the open guest parking spots of the apartment and you glanced down at your phone, making sure that this was indeed where Jeon lived.
Getting out you pulled your coat tighter around you before walking to the double doors of the apartment building, giving your name and contact before moving to the elevators, taking it right up to his floor.
Your mind flowed in contemplation, chalking up exactly what you were going to say to him. He hadn’t told you about anything before going up against the teacher, he hadn’t told you about going after Kinjo, finding him and now you wanted an explanation.
You were the face defendant here and you had a right to know what he was up to.
You made a final check of Jungkook’s address before shoving the phone away for good, taking a deep breath, facing his mahogany door. Your hand rose before raining a light drizzle of knocks on it, drawing back quickly.
It took a second, his voice calling out from inside to wait and you did before the door swung inside, revealing a rumpled Jeon Jungkook, a simple black t-shirt and sweats on him, a far cry from how he’s usually dressed for work. Glasses perched low on the bridge of his nose.
“Y/N,” he frowned, opening the door a bit more, “What’s going on? What are you doing here?”
“Are you busy, I need to talk to you about something?” you asked in turn.
“Yeah sure,” he moved away, opening the door further to let you in and you moved into his apartment, hearing him close and bolt the door.
You stood with your back to him, studying his home as he set up the security.
Jeon Jungkook’s private space was just like him; neat, organized and gleaming with proper care. It was nice to see he wasn’t a complete frat boy with his house. There were familiar blue azaleas scattered through some nooks and a pleasant smell drifted from them.
Now you knew why he always smelled so floral.
You turned to see him move away from the door, running his hands over the back of his sweats to his waist.
“Yeah, so what’s wrong?”
“What are you trying to do?” you asked, filter less as usual.
He tilted his head in question and you sighed in annoyance.
“The case, Jeon; you didn’t confer with me about the teacher, about Kinjo, you didn’t confer with me about anything. You just barged into my case like it was yours and I don’t even know why you’re doing it. Is it to make me look bad or something? Do you want people to think I’m stupid? Or is it purely selfish, you want people to think you’re so smart?”
“Whoa, back it up there.”
Jungkook moved closer to you, frown etching deeper into his brows. “What do you think is happening here? I’m not doing anything like that.”
“Then what is it that you’re doing?” You crossed your arms over your chest.
“I didn’t ‘confer’ with you about the teacher because it struck me on the spot and I didn’t have time to talk it out with you and neither did I want to drag it out for another session. It’s a small case, Y/N, it’s better to wash our hands of it faster so Jiyoon can go back clean.”
“What about Kinjo?”
Jungkook sighed, placing his hands on your shoulders. You shot his hands a glance but he didn’t remove them.
“That’s on me, I’ll admit. I had Jimin go on with Hoseok to look for him from day one. When Jimin told me they’d had a hit, I didn’t want to get your hopes up until I had some proof.”
“So, you just dragged Kinjo right into the courtroom, without telling me.”
“Yes, that was stupid but I just…” he trailed off, looking around his house once before at you, bottom lip caught between his teeth.
“I just wanted to impress you.”
You froze, looking at him with wide eyes.
No, he did not just…
“You what?” you asked sharply, certain that you had lost your hearing and he let out a pointed exhale.
“Call it stupid, but I’ve always been doing shit to impress you.”
You stared at him, still shell shocked, your mind rewinding to each overconfident grin he’d ever shot your way after his wins and he expected you to believe that he was trying to impress you?
“What the fuck is wrong with you? You call that impressing me?” You shook his hands from your shoulders, stepping far away from his hold.
Jungkook didn’t follow, choosing to watch as you paced.
“You were fine when we met. I thought you were cute at first then you turned into a smug, overconfident jackass almost overnight. Each and every case you’ve won against me, you’ve rubbed in my face and you really thought that your Gaston act impressed anyone, let alone me?”
“You thought I was cute?” he asked instead, a small smile brushing by his soft lips that I wiped off by smacking his chest.
“You aren’t anymore.”
“Oh come on, Y/N,” He scoffed, grabbing your hand. “You can’t tell me I’ve never once made you look twice at me. I know you have.”
You scowled heavily at him, trying to tug your hand back.
“Not for the reasons you think,”
He rolled his eyes in turn, using the hand in his grip to pull you swiftly against him, his hard chest pressing against yours as he wound his free arm around your waist, holding you in place.
“Then enlighten me,” he whispered.
You sucked in a breath, outrage ready to pour at him when he dipped his head, too quick for you to stop and pressed his lips against yours, drowning all the rages you could’ve hurled at him.
Your words guzzled out, a squeak replacing them as your own free hand came up to bunch the fabric at his shoulder. He pulled away, too fast for you to have gotten in and grinned at you.
“Did that impress you, Counselor?”
“Fuck you, Jeon.” You snarled, breaking his hold on you to grab his face between your hands, pulling his face down to kiss him properly, mouth open and teeth clashing once, twice before a tandem took its place, slow but rough.
“Oh I plan to let you do that.” He muttered against your mouth, his own hands coming up to cup your face, pulling away to peck at your lips, tugging your bottom petal between his mouth, leaving a stroke of his tongue on it.
You keened into him, balling the material of his shirt, feeling him guide you to the back of the couch, propping you against it.
“I’m thinking you didn’t plan to have sex with me tonight?” Jungkook asked, suddenly pulling away to give you a dilated look. You stuttered a little, blinking before looking down at your outfit.
“Clearly not,”
Jungkook looked conflicted and you gave him a warning tilt of eyebrow. “Are you going to pack me up and send me off to home?” you asked.
He laughed, hands possessively gripping you to him.
“Sure, and miss this…? I’ll be damned. No, I’m just thinking of the hearing tomorrow and time.”
“I’ll be fine, I’ll get home early.”
Jungkook let out a pained growl, running his lips down your jaw line. “That’s exactly the problem.”
“Are you planning on continuing this or not, Jeon?” you asked, finally.
“I definitely am, provided you let me take you out on a date tomorrow and we’ll see where it leads.”
You gave him a scrutinizing look before shrugging and Jungkook lunged for you, kisses hot and heavy again.
Your eyes fell closed, heart rocketing in your chest as Jungkook’s fingers reached the top of your coat, lifting the flaps to drop them on his couch.
Jungkook trailed a finger, the tickling sensation trickling slowly towards the buttons, dipping into your cleavage. He hissed. “Take your top off,” he said, disentangling himself from you to take a couple steps back, eyeing your chest.
You followed the same line he had made you, dipping you own fingers to the plunge as well, keeping his eyes there as you started to pop open buttons, each inch of skin exposed scorching immediately under Jungkook’s searing gaze. You let the shirt slip off your shoulders, aiming to be dainty and it fell away from your skin, landing on the sofa as well.
Jungkook was already moving even as the fabric left you, his own hands gripping the edge of his own shirt and lifting it over his head. The smooth planes of his stomach caught the shine of his ambient lighting and while he wasn’t muscular, he definitely took care of himself.
The defined abdomen clenched under your scrutiny and you reach out, placing a hand on the hot skin there, running it higher up his chest to curl around his neck, pulling him down to kiss him again.
The kiss was breathier than before, his hot exhale caressing your lips as he dragged his hands down to your legs, hoisting them up and around his waist.
You let out a squeal, feeling him chuckle at your reaction as he tracked a path to what you supposed was his bed room.
Sleek reds and grays, he nudged you down into the foamy mattress, keeping the lights down to a bare minimum.
“Nice house,” you complimented when he returned to you and he grinned.
“I’ll give you a proper tour tomorrow,” he said, before his lips took over your own again, tongue softly lapping at the seal of your mouth, asking for permission.
Even as you teased him with no entrance, he was moving to the button of your pants, a quick flick of his fingers undoing them before they were crawling down, taking the trousers off with them. Your teasing, soon changed to a soft whimper when his fingers met the line of your panties; tugging at them to snap back against your skin and you gasped at the sudden move, letting him enter your mouth with a wide grin.
You hiked your legs up, clasping them around the back of his knees when he threw off the material and he took the hint, beginning to push you back to rest against the pillows.
He pulled away, eyeing you lying in his bed before he held up a finger, crawling towards one of the nightstands, most likely to fetch a condom.
You smirked, sitting up to undo your bra and slid your panties off quickly, tossing them to the floor while he turned, glasses gone, eyes blowing open wide to see you spread your legs for him.
“Wow,” was all he said, quickly crawling back to you, condom thrown to a side as he placed a hand on the hot skin of your thigh, running it up to the apex, before chancing a look up at you.
“May I touch you?” He asked.
You smiled up at the nervous glint in his eyes. “Yes,”
Fingers entered you with no more hesitation, making a loud groan erupt from you as your back arched, your core pushing further into his hand.
“Fuck,” he hissed, hand travelling down to grip his cock, already pressing into the fabric of his sweatpants.
“Why don’t you get rid of that?” you asked breathily, watching him struggle to get traction as he tried to palm himself and he grunted a complaint before pulling away from you to quickly tug the rest of his clothes off, throwing them away wildly.
A soft sigh of relief escaped him when his visibly red hardness met the cool air of the room and he watched as you trailed the tips of your own fingers down to your hole, easing a finger in and letting out a tantalizing whine.
Jungkook leaned forward, eyes fixed on you as the top of his hair brushed your stomach. He licked a quick stripe over your clit, before his free hand was coming up to pull your hand free and into his own mouth.
His tongue wrapped around the digit, sucking over the essence that clung to it and he closed his eyes, letting out a pleased hum.
The sight made you gulp when he opened his eyes, fixing you with a steady gaze.
Popping your fingers out his mouth he made a show of licking his lips when you jumped into action.
You pressed up against Jungkook, pushing him back into position to lie back on the pillows before you were wrapping a hand around the base of his throbbing member.
Jungkook let out a choked sound, lifting onto his elbows, watching as you bent over his cock, letting pooled saliva from your mouth drip on to the tip. Your hand dragged painstakingly to the tip, thumb swirling over the top to mix your juices and his precum together.
“Jesus, Y/N, that’s so fucking hot.” Jungkook whined, rubbing his hands over his face as you gave him your most sultry look.
Jungkook felt around for the foil and handed you the packet, letting you rip it open and slide it onto him. Rolling it on, you smiled, biting on to your lips.
Holding his gaze, just as he had done to you, you slowly pushed him into the cavern of your mouth, taking in each inch of covered skin methodically, rubbing the surface of your tongue against the hardened velvet.
Jungkook was clawing at his hair now, whining even more than you as you popped up, letting his cock cool down while smiling coyly, rubbing your thumb over your lips to gracefully wipe the string of juices your action had left.
“Y/N, please, please, sit on it,” Jungkook cried, his hands, strong with desperation pulling you on top of him.
“Whoa,” you said, reaching out to balance yourself on top of him as he reached down between your bodies, lining him with your core.
“Shh, relax,” you crooned, speaking softly as he turned a pained look to you.
“I can’t bloody well – oh – my, fucking god.” He growled, as you let yourself sink down on him, his length sheathing into your hot, wet clenching pussy.
Jungkook threw his head back, hands digging into your hips as you began to roll over his. Every clench and drag of your walls against him made him let out a soft grunt, eyes closed as he let you move and take control.
He looked beautifully fucked out…because of you.
In front of your mesmerized eyes, his nipples swelled and you did the one thing your own pleasure hazed mind could think of.
You bent over him, hair tickling his chest as you engulfed his peak into your mouth, tongue brushing over it while your fingers sought the other.
Jungkook’s voice broke into a long groan, eyes flying open to look at you sucking away at his chest and his grip on you tightened, if possible, lifting you till he was pounding up into you.
Your control snapped, as the angle he was holding you in, allowed him to hit that stupidly sweet spot and pleasure sparked white gold in your vision. Jungkook pulled you closer to him, mouth nuzzling into your breasts, pants falling from his open mouth.
He flipped you, in a broken, graceless maneuver before he was plunging into you again, keeping your legs open for him, one hand wrapped around your ankle, pushing it high and back as he calculatingly stroked against your spot and your toes curled, and one hand clawing into his sheets as he pushed you into oblivion.
Hot, fiery pleasure burned you through, singing your body as Jungkook followed with a deep growling grunt ending in whines as he emptied himself into the rubber.
It took you a few moments to open your eyes, Jungkook collapsing over you to press tired kisses against your shoulder, a deep hum of satisfaction sounding in your ears.
It was going to be hell getting up and going to work tomorrow.
“Keeping the defense and the jury in mind, we clear Miss Lee Jiyoon of all charges.”
There was a pause, a small lull as the judge signed her statement, snapping the nib in place before a light buzz of cheer broke out.
You turned back to your bench with a grin as Jiyoon jumped up, shock written clear over her face.
“Did…I just get acquitted?” she whispered even as her mother called for her attention.
You smiled. “Yep, you did and we have information that Kinjo is going very far for a very long time, so you won’t have to see him ever again.”
Jiyoon smiled widely, throwing an arm around you that you patted before she was racing off, green hair flying, into her mother’s arms.
“Good job, Y/N; Drinks are on me, as are those junior partner papers. My office, tomorrow,” Yuna muttered as she followed Yoongi out. You gestured Mina to meet you at the car, walking out of the courtroom.
“Y/N, great work in there,”
You turned to see Namjoon walking towards you, hands tucked into your pocket, beaming.
“Hey, you too,” you grinned as he pulled you into a customary one armed hug, a rough pat on your back.
“Well, good luck on your next one, I’m hoping to go up against you again in the future.” He crowed.
“Sure, as long as it’s not Jungkook.” You mocked back as his eyes flickered over your head; a teasing smiled tugging at his lips.
“Jungkook, huh?” he asked and you flushed, looking down as he stepped back.
“Mr. Kim,” you heard another voice join you and Jeon Jungkook stepped next to you, bowing his head towards the older man.
“Counselor Jeon,” Namjoon nodded back, glancing between the two of you with a smirk. “Seems like you guys talked stuff out,”
“Shut up, Joon!” you gasped and he laughed, dodging your smack before looking at Jeon.
“Take good care of my girl, you hear Jeon?”
“Loud and clear, Mr. Kim,” Jungkook mumbled as with a parting smile Namjoon left you and him.
Even before you blinked, you were in his arms, strong bands of muscle holding you as he grinned cheekily down at him.
“I’ll be sure to take care of my girl.”
“Your girl?” you laughed up at him.
“Yep,” he leaned in to place his mouth against your temple. “I hated waking up without you in my bed. I like you that much.”
“Right, do you have evidence to support your claim?” you asked, turning your ‘attorney’ look on him.
He rolled his eyes. “I do, in fact,” he slipped something from his pocket, holding a blue azalea stem out to you.
“I saw you had a fascination for this.”
“It was more like fascination as to why you always smelled like one.”
Jungkook paused, looking down at the flower before laughing out loud, tucking the flower into your ear.
“Now you can smell like me, in more ways than one.”
You groaned at the innuendo. “What am I going to do with you?”
“You’re stuck with me. Deal with it.”
#jungkook smut#jungkook fanfic#jungkook angst#jungkook scenarios#jungkook imagines#jeon jungkook#jungkook#bts jungkook#bts#bts smut#bts angst#bts fanfic#bts scenarios#bts imagines#azaleas
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By M’gann
Welcome one, welcome all! M’gann here today, since I’m the only one in the superhero community with experience running a blog. It’s a pleasure to meet you all, even if it isn’t under the most ideal of circumstances...
This is the Justice League’s official tumblr blog! Since our identities were outed, we don’t have to worry about accidently leaking personal information anymore, and we decided to create various social media accounts so our actions are more public and available to everyone, and totally not because if we didn’t, our actions would have to be monitered by the government and none of us want people following us around at all times, or Secretary Ross anywhere close enough to have his eyes on us!! :)
(Scarlet Witch/Wanda just burst out laughing, and she doesn’t have her phone on her, so I think she’s reading my mind, now I know how it feels, but at the same time, I’m glad I made at least one person laugh with that)
If we just post what we’re up to, then we can just refuse to post about when we go to the bathroom unless it’s important, which was a big concern for us all when people following us was first brought up. But that’s besides the point!
This blog will contain all the stuff we’re posting on other social media, so you can just follow us here to get all the tea!
... My uncle just came in to inform me that those of older generations might not know what that means, and that I have to try to not leave anyone out.
‘Tea’ means gossip.
Okay, so starting off this blog with a bang, the entire superhero community (which also includes vigilantes, anti-heroes, and villains, not just superheroes, it’s just quicker to say!) decided to all create twitter accounts to post their name, if their identity was revealed and their civillian name. Now, I don’t know EVERYBODY in the community, so I put in everyone who commented superhero-like stuff on the post. I’m pretty sure that they aren’t real heroes, but it’s better safe than to be rude and exclude people! Besides, I didn’t know about the Defenders half an hour ago until I heard someone in the house exclaim that someone named Daredevil was finally getting media coverage because of this. Apparently a few people in the house were fans of him. __________
Okay, so... You guys weren’t there, but I stopped writing for a few hours to attend a justice league meeting with the avengers and quite a few other people, and here’s what was ultimately decided:
Because we have so many enemies, it isn’t safe for any of us to live alone anymore, so we’ve basically all moved in together? Well, not all of us. Those who had their identities revealed, and those who lived with them, or could have their identities revealed based on everyone else.
For example, Batman had his identity revealed, which, by the way, what???
Bruce WAYNE??
But yeah, Batman had his identity revealed, but Robin didn’t. The new Robin. Not the first one. Nightwing is his eldest son, Dick Grayson. But people can figure it out based on his height. Which, by the way... Bruce has his reasons for letting him into the community, give him some slack. He’s been getting a lot of hate from it. And speaking of Bruce Wayne, it is his manor that we’ve all moved into, since it’s large and has excellent security. I haven’t met his other kids yet, so I don’t know if they already knew their dad was Batman, and their siblings were Nightwing and Robin. I’ll ask them when they show up. __________
Okay, so I left to get food for five minutes, and when I came back, the og JL members were staring at my screen and laughing their heads off while Bruce sat by the side and scowled. So... I’m concerned. If this post never goes up, assume I’m dead.
BUT ANYWAY!!!!!!
I made everyone in the house promise not to read the comments on the original twitter post, and only read them here, as some of us wanted our accounts not to be spammed by their friends. Like, Garfield uses his account to advocate for animal rights, he doesn’t want to constantly respond to other supers’ messages. He’s too busy for that!
The mess on Twitter, as follows: __________
Youonyourphone,situpstraight! @ #1FBIAGENT Plastic Man, aka Patric O’Brian. I was outed, which makes my job VERY interesting now... (read: awkward)
Winged Warrior @ Hawkwoman ✔️ Shayera Hol. I have wings. If you couldn’t figure out my “civillian identity” by me walking down the street, earth is too dumb to save anymore
r3d @ 70rn4d0 The children chose this name for me. Red Tornado, AKA John Smith.
Green Arrow @ notrobinhood ✔️ Oliver Queen, revealed too... Let’s hope this doesn’t affect STAR labs... Sorry PR department. :/
Adam @ DrStrangeJunior League doctor, last name strange. The avengers already have a doctor strange, and I’m younger than him, hence DrStrangJunior. I never really had a hero identity in the first place, but everyone insists that I’m a part of the group, so... yeah
Big Boy Blue @ TheREalSuperman ✔️ Clark Kent, Kal-el, Superman. Speaking of, why was @ Superman already taken?
Aquaman @ KingOfAtlantis ✔️ Even though I don’t REALLY have a secret identity, I have to do this anyway for some reason? Arthur Curry.
rocket @ PCHOOOOO raquel ervin. rocket. the only reason icon is around so bow down to me. Tim chose my name.
therapist @ capitalsareimportant Black Canary. Dinah Lance-Queen. Betcha Imma bout to lose my job.
take the shot @ harperoy Red Arrow, Will harper, Previously Speedy. I had this @ before... everything
Fastest Man Online @ 2fast2type ✔️ flash, barry allen, dying inside BECAUSEI’MLIVINGINABILLIONAIRE’SHOUSENOWANDTHEREISSOMUCHFOOD
zatanna @ annataz Only one name, Zatanna. That’s both my civillian name and my superhero name, but my stage name SOMEHOW is still a secret??? smh everyone’s blind...
cptnmarvel @ SHAZAM! Captain Marvel. The male one, since apparently I have to say that now?? My identity is still a secret tho!
Themiscyra❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🖤 @ Wonderous ✔️ Wonder Woman. Princess Diana. However, my Civillian name is Diana Prince __________
Now, The Green Lanterns... Kilowog got an account first, and it didn’t end well... __________
Kilowog @ GreenLanternOFFICIAL ✔️ As one of the Green Lanterns assigned to this sector, I decided to join in on this internet stuff, since it seems so important to everyone on this planet. Kilowog here! Green Lantern.
John Stewart @ GreenLantern1 ✔️ SOMEONE stole @ GreenLanternOFFICIAL 🙄
I CAME FIRST! @ OriginalGreenLantern ✔️ @ GreenLantern1 ???!?!? ONE!?!?! I WAS THE FIRST HUMAN GREEN LANTERN THANK YOU VERY MUCH JOHN!
John Stewart @ GreenLantern1 ✔️ It was the first thing I thought of aside from GreenLantenOFFICIAL, don’t yell at me!
I CAME FIRST! @ OriginalGreenLantern ✔️ why didn’t you just do GreenLanternJohn instead of stealing what was rightfully mine?
John Stewart @ GreenLantern1 ✔️ Hey, you aren’t the boss of @’s!
I CAME FIRST! @ OriginalGreenLantern ✔️ who says I’m not?
John Stewart @ GreenLantern1 ✔️ You’re obviously not!
I CAME FIRST! @ OriginalGreenLantern ✔️ but who says?
John Stewart @ GreenLantern1 ✔️ Me!
I CAME FIRST! @ OriginalGreenLantern ✔️ but you’re not the boss of me!
John Stewart @ GreenLantern1 ✔️ Since when?
I CAME FIRST! @ OriginalGreenLantern ✔️ since i’m your senior!
John Stewart @ GreenLantern1 ✔️ I’m older than you!
I CAME FIRST! @ OriginalGreenLantern ✔️ i’ve been a green lantern longer!
John Stewart @ GreenLantern1 ✔️ That doesn’t matter!
I CAME FIRST! @ OriginalGreenLantern ✔️ then if it doesn’t matter, change your name!
John Stewart @ GreenLantern1 ✔️ To WHAT?!
I CAME FIRST! @ OriginalGreenLantern ✔️ GreenLantern16 or something, i don’t know!
John Stewart @ GreenLantern1 ✔️ There aren’t even that many Green Lanterns!
I CAME FIRST! @ OriginalGreenLantern ✔️ there are hundreds of us!
John Stewart @ GreenLantern1 ✔️ I meant HUMAN Green Lanterns!
I CAME FIRST! @ OriginalGreenLantern ✔️ then fucking specify next time? is that so hard?!
John Stewart @ GreenLantern1 ✔️ Fuck off, asshole!
I CAME FIRST! @ OriginalGreenLantern ✔️ you first!
John Stewart @ GreenLantern1 ✔️ That’s not even an insult!
I CAME FIRST! @ OriginalGreenLantern ✔️ and yours was?!
John Stewart @ GreenLantern1 ✔️ Shut up!
I CAME FIRST! @ OriginalGreenLantern ✔️ just change your name and i will!
John Stewart @ GreenLantern1 ✔️ You can’t change your @’s, just your user!
I CAME FIRST! @ OriginalGreenLantern ✔️ then get a new account!
John Stewart @ GreenLantern1 ✔️ That’s a pain though!
I CAME FIRST! @ OriginalGreenLantern ✔️ suck it up!
John Stewart @ GreenLantern1 ✔️ You’re the one who started all this!
I CAME FIRST! @ OriginalGreenLantern ✔️ you started the argument with Kilowog’s account when he’s not even on the planet anymore!
John Stewart @ GreenLantern1 ✔️ It was a joke! You’re the one who took it seriously!
hey Guys @ GreenLantern ✔️ hey Guys...??
I CAME FIRST! @ OriginalGreenLantern ✔️ ...
John Stewart @ GreenLantern1 ✔️ ... __________
hey Guys @ GreenLantern ✔️ ok so kilowogs off planet, and the others are refusing to use their accounts after the incident where i murdered them both, so im doing their introductions for them
hey Guys @ GreenLantern ✔️ @ GreenLantern1 is john stewart, obviously. @ OriginalGreenLantern is hal jordan, and yeah, he was the first human lantern. and me? the only Guy who had the bright idea of actually checking to see if @ GreenLantern was available like a normal person?
hey Guys @ GreenLantern ✔️ i was off-world when everyone’s identities were revealed, and thus have my secrets!
hey Guys @ GreenLanten ✔️ well, i mean... i didn’t exactly hide it before, so some people might know, but im loving the fact that i kept my identity secret when batman didnt, so i decided to keep it to flaunt that fact to the others. peace out __________
Ro(g)y @ arsenal The OG Roy Harper here. Arsenal. Previously speedy.
Kaldur’ahm @ Aqualad ✔️ My user and @ says it all. I was revealed. Uselessly, but still revealed.
Mygreatestachievementwillbebeingborn @ Impulsive Bart Allen, AKA Impulse. My identity WAS revealed, but good luck finding out who I am. ;-)
Apollo’s Crockpot Sister @ Artemis ✔️ Artemis, AKA Artemis Crock. Now y’all can finally stop asking me about my name.
From Fanboy To @ LagoonBoy L’gann here. Lagoon Boy. I’m green, you should be able to know what my civillian self looks like. It’s not like I can hide.
buzz off @ bumblebee I wasn’t revealed, but... being a superhero would be a suitable excuse for being late to classes... Karen Beecher-Duncan, Bumblebee! (Don’t worry, I discussed revealing myself with the entire league, and they said it was cool)
World’s best dodger and bullshitter @ Guardian Bumbles’ loving husband, Mal Duncan.
hello megan! @ hellom’gann ✔️ M’gann M’orzz AKA Megan Morse AKA Miss Martian. Superboy doesn’t have an account, but also didn’t get his identity leaked (somehow) anyway!!
Wall-Man @ It’sKIDFLASH ✔️ Wally West, Kid Flash. Nice to meet Y’all
Apollo’s Crockpot Sister @ Artemis ✔️ Y’all
Wall-Man @ It’sKIDFLASH ✔️ Okay, you used it just two seconds ago so don’t @ me
Jaime @ ScarabHost ✔️ Jaime Reyes here. Now, the previous blue beetle is in a coma, and has been for years, I’m the new one. I just never had a public enough persona to tell everyone that I’m not just him with a new suit before...
Cassie @ WONDERgirl ✔️ Come to my room @ ScarabHost, I have marshmellos to cheer you up! Yes, you can come too, @ Impulsive 😋
Mygreatestachievementwillbebeingborn @ Impulsive Like you could keep me from food. 😜
Dr. Tony Stark @ youknowwhoiam ✔️ I Am Iron Man
Hawk-ayeeee @ hawkeyeshadow Clint Barton
Brunhilde @ TheLastValkyrie All in the name.
Platypus @ TiredOfTony Col. James Rhodes, AKA War Machine, previously Iron Patriot (Thank goodness)
The Black Panther @ Kingofwakanda ✔️ T’Challa of Wakanda.
godofhammers @ kingofasgard ✔️ I am Thor, son of Frigga
Captain American’t deal @ Steven19 ✔️ Steve Rogers, Captain America.
My Name’s Not Scarlett @ It’s Wanda ✔️ Scarlet Witch
On your above @ FalconPINCH ✔️ Sam Wilson
🅱️lums @ WhiteWolf James “Bucky” Barnes here. Previously Winter Soldier... Sorry.
Toaster @ Eyesight ✔️ Vision Stark.
Dr. Tony Stark @ youknowwhoiam ✔️ I’m crying.
Master Of The Mystic Arts @ DrStephenStrangeMD ✔️ I didn’t change my @ when I got into this world
Fury @ DirectorOfSHIELD ✔️ My name is already there.
Not That Maria @ AssistantDirectorOfSHIELD ✔️ Maria Hill, Assistant Director Of SHIELD
I am Groot @ Multilinguism I am Groot.
PETER NO @ GamoradaughterofABITCH Gamora.
PETER YES @ STARLORDOFFICIAL Peter Quill, Starlord!
Chocolate Works @ WeAreVenom Identity kept, bitches!
Shield Maiden @ LadySif I am Sif.
T’Challa’s babysitter @ GeneralOfWakanda ✔️ I am Okoye.
Logan @ Wolverine ✔️ I would reveal my identity, but I don’t know what it is myself.
Laura @ Wolverine2 ✔️ OMG DAD! You got your memories back, stop making amnesia jokes, they’re lame!
Logan @ Wolverine ✔️ This isn’t Private Messages sweetie
Laura @ Wolverine ✔️ FUCK
DannyRand @ AngstPuppy Iron Fist here!
notthedevil @ kurtthenightcrawler I’m blue, it’s not like I can hide?
Godda go feast @ Quicksilver Pietro Maximoff, Wanda’s twin brother.
Freshuricado @ WakandaHeadOfScience ✔️ Princess Shuri. I don’t have a hero name, but I sometimes fight with gauntlets, so...?
Best Grandma @ Gi-Ant-Man Scott Lang here, also known as Ant-Man!
The Wasp @ HopeVanDyne ✔️ Scott’s better half.
Quill chose my name @ trashpanda Rocket Raccoon. That’s my name, nothing else.
Iron Daughter @ Blueberry My name is Nebula Stark, Gamora’s sister.
Dr. Tony Stark @ youknowwhoiam ✔️ 😭😭😭🥰
bobby @ Iceman So... My identity wasn’t revealed, but... most mutants at the school don’t really hide their identities, so everyone knows who I am here? But I didn’t wanna get left out of the train, so I’m Bobby Drake. AKA Iceman
Unbreakable @ LukeCage I don’t have an alternate name?? Yet my identity was still secret somehow?? (Well, not anymore) I hate everyone’s blindness. No offence to someone though, you know who you are.
Drax @ Drax I am Drax!
Jessica Nones @ AliasInvestigations ✔️ I never hid, but I guess I’m finally advertising.
💚🔪💚@ Iammantis! Hello everyone! I am Mantis!
DIDN’T CHOOSE MY OWN NAME @ ItIsBEN The Thing. Ben Grimm.
NAME WAS GIVEN BY DUMBASS BROTHER @ butiapprove The Invisible Woman. Sue Storm.
CHOSE MY OWN NAME @ FLAMEON The Human Torch. Johnny Storm
My name wasn’t chosen by me @ butitboostsmyego Mr. Fantastic. Reed Richards.
CHOSE MY OWN NAME @ FLAMEON YOU MESSED UP THE CAPITALS ORDER!!!
My name wasn’t chosen by me @ butitboostsmyego SIGH
__________
So, quick note, the next people... Well, I haven’t got any confirmation that they’re ACTUALLY heroes. But I don’t wanna exclude anyone, and they might just be obscure vigilantes that I don’t know about, but they commented on the thread that only heroes were meant to, and it’s not like believing them to be heroes will get me hurt like it would on a mission if they were villains in disguise, so... I’m just going to trust them this time! __________
Anathema @ Device I’m Anathema Device, and I’ll be doing the technology side for Crowley, Aziraphale, and Newton Pulsifer.
Adam @ DEATHJR Kids of the Armageddon’t, unite! (Except Warlock, cuz he didn’t actually save anything) Adam Young here.
Pestilance? @ POLLUTIONJR Brian here! (My mum says I can’t give out my last name until I hit 18, sorry for the lack of syncronity...)
Adam @ DEATHJR (It’s all cool Brian, not your fault!)
Cuz common sense is the rarest resource @ FAMINEJR Well, most of us can unite, anyway... I miss Pep, even if she had a weird name that I’m pretty sure was fake, looking back on our childhood.
MY NAME IS AWESOME, FIGHT ME @ WARJR You wanna go, Wensly?
Pestilance? @ POLLUTIONJR YOU’RE ALIVE?!!
MY NAME IS AWESOME, FIGHT ME @ WARJR Yeah, I’ll DM you three my number so we can catch up.
Pestilance? @ POLLUTIONJR Is it really her though?
Adam @ DEATHJR Well, you DID forget to put your name down Wensly. Nice to see you again Pep!
Pestilance? @ POLLUTIONJR But they could have just hacked your computer?
Adam @ DEATHJR If she did that, she would have called him Wenslydale, not just Wensly. She knew better.
Cuz common sense is the rarest resource @ FAMINEJR One way to find out. @ WARJR, say you’re name to us all within the next five minutes!
MY NAME IS AWESOME, FIGHT ME @ WARJR Pippin Galadriel Moonchild, Pleb. Bow down to your missing member.
Pestilance? @ POLLUTIONJR OMG, I’m legit crying you guys...
Cuz common sense is the rarest resource @ FAMINEJR IT REALLY IS YOU!
Adam @ DEATHJR Glad to know you’re safe and sound, Pep. 🖤
MY NAME IS AWESOME, FIGHT ME @ WARJR Puh-lease. You really think *I* could keep out of trouble?
Adam @ DEATHJR Glad to know you’re sound, Pep. 🖤
MY NAME IS AWESOME, FIGHT ME @ WARJR Glad to be sound, Antichrist! 🖤 Still haven’t learnt what safety is tho... :P
Pestilance? @ POLLUTIONJR Pepper? Living a calm enough life to be SAFE? Wouldn’t dream of it. 🖤
Cuz common sense is the rarest resource @ FAMINEJR Send me your number so I can cry while hearing your voice 🖤
MY NAME IS AWESOME, FIGHT ME @ WARJR Sure, it’s in your DMs now, and Wensleydale? You were right. “Pippin Galadriel Moonchild” isn’t my real name.
Cuz common sense is the rarest resource @ FAMINEJR FUCKEN CALLED IT!
Pestilance? @ POLLUTIONJR WAIT WHAT?!
Adam @ DEATHJR THEN WHY DID THE TEACHERS CALL YOU PEPPER TOO??!?
MY NAME IS AWESOME, FIGHT ME @ WARJR Think that’s bad? Remember how all that Stuff™ went down when we all were 11? Lies, I was 9.
Cuz common sense is the rarest resource @ FAMINEJR BUT YOU WERE IN OUR CLASS
Adam @ DEATHJR WHAT THE HOME PEP?!
Pestilance? @ POLLUTIONJR HOW DID THE TEACHERS LET YOU TWO GRADES ABOVE WERE YOU REALLY THAT SMART??
MY NAME IS AWESOME, FIGHT ME @ WARJR OF COURSE I WAS YOU ASS! But nah... I ran away from home, hitchhiked, skipped the county, forged my ma’s signature to put me up for adoption, stole some adoption papers, and placed them on the mayor’s desk filled in, and as far as anyone was aware, I was now the daughter of the local hippie
MY NAME IS AWESOME, FIGHT ME @ WARJR I picked “Pippin Galadriel Moonchild” as my name because I was a massive nerd.
Adam @ DEATHJR THERE IS SO MUCH TO UNPACK IN THAT I DON’T KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN, WHAT THE FUCK PEP?!?!?
MY NAME IS AWESOME, FIGHT ME @ WARJR I’m an agent of Chaos.
Two Seconds Away From Giving Up @ JERomY Kid... __________
This thread wasn’t important, but... I just found it heartwarming that they found eachother after assuming Pepper was dead, and I found it funny. __________
Miraculous @ LadybugOFFICIAL Okay, I have convinced all of the team to say their name and position. I even managed to get everyone to get matching Team Names, and put their superpower as their user! Only those with identities revealed will have to say their name, however.-OGLB
Miraculous @ LadybugOFFICIAL This account is run by two different ladybugs. If you don’t see a signature at the end of a post, it’s Bugette, the current Ladybug. If you do, it’s me, the last Ladybug. -OGLB
Cataclysm @ ChatNoirOFFICIAL My identity is still secret, suckers!
Like I’d tell you @ RenaRougeOFFICIAL Rude. Alya cesaire. I’m a retired hero, but doing my best every day to be once again worthy to wield a miraculous. I doubt it would be the same, however, as @ NeurofoxinOFFICIAL is a much better fox than I am it seems.
Miraculous @ LadybugOFFICIAL DM me -OGLB
Miraculous @ LadybugOFFICIAL Alya! You were meant to put your special power in the user! :(
Like I’d tell you @ RenaRougeOFFICIAL I was going to, but then Viperion pointed out to me that our powers were too obvious by our special power name, and that the two of us in particular needed others to not be aware of what we can do to make us all safer.
Miraculous @ LadybugOFFICIAL That is a very sound judgement! I’m glad you thought ahead and made the wise deciscion!
Your new goth gf @ NeurofoxinOFFICIAL Rena, you’re a better fox than me, it just seems like that due to self-doubt. You are more suited to the fox than I am, it’s just that the fox is needed that I am even a holder at all. WHEN you get back on the team, I’ll either be retired or given another miraculous instead. I just have the better name.
SHELLter @ CarapaceOFFICIAL Not gonna say my name, but it’s pretty obvious if you pay attention, so just like... watch if you wanna know?
Chloé Bourgeois @ QueenBeeOFFICIAL ✔️ I used to be the best holder of the Bee Miraculous, but I gave it up to @ HoneyBeeOFFICIAL, and they are acceptable.
Wenom, uwu @ HoneyBeeOFFICIAL Thank you Chloé! I couldn’t ask for a better predecessor!
Chloé Bourgeois @ QueenBeeOFFICIAL ✔️ You are most welcome, HoneyBee!
Miraculous @ LadybugOFFICIAL Uhmm... Chloé? You were meant to put your power in the user, not your name. And everyone knows what you can do, so there’s no point hiding it from everyone. -OGLB
Chloé Bourgeois @ QueenBeeOFFICIAL ✔️ You misunderstand, Ladybug. As Chloé Bourgeois, I am well known for being rich and famous.
Miraculous @ LadybugOFFICIAL And? -OGLB
Chloé Bourgeois @ QueenBeeOFFICIAL ✔️ Being rich IS my superpower.
Miraculous @ LadybugOFFICIAL SMH -OGLB
BRB, Got sword homework @ RyukoOFFICIAL @ QueenBeeOFFICIAL @ HoneyBeeOFFICIAL I am Ryuko. While the previous Hawkmoth knew my identity, the new one does not. So I will remain in the shadows, as it is now safe for me to do so and wield once more.
Miraculous @ LadybugOFFICIAL I thought we all agreed to put our powers in our users!!
BRB, Got sword homework @ RyukoOFFICIAL My skill with a blade is much more beneficial than my power over storms, I thought it more prudent to use the talent that I actually worked for. Besides, @ ChatNoirOFFICIAL sent me a meme, and it was enough to make me laugh in front of my mother, so I decided to use it.
Miraculous @ LadybugOFFICIAL DM me about how she reacted...
Miraculous @ LadybugOFFICIAL ^Same, and Chat, stop spamming our inboxes with memes! -OGLB
Pls don’t need me so I have to use it... @ ViperionOFFICIAL I am the Aforementioned Viperion. And yes, my weapon IS what you think it is. No-one knows who I am as of right now.
Your new goth gf @ NeurofoxinOFFICIAL My identity is a secret but my name is Neurofoxin.
Creation @ Ladybug Tikki here! The current active kwamis are going to sound off. Our usernames will be what we are the kwami of, and our @ s will be what animal we represent!
The ORIGINAL @ Catwoman Plagg here.
Creation @ Ladybug PLAGG!
The ORIGINAL (Destruction, THERE, HAPPY TIKKI!?!?) @ Catwoman UGH!
Avatar @ Fire Nation Dragon Well, since Plagg already broke the rules... Longg here. And I am technically not exactly breaking the rules..
Creation @ Ladybug See what you’ve caused?!
Emotional @ Peacock Duusu here!! :D
Intuition @ sassysnake Sass here.
Timey-Wimey @ BunnyIsLate Goodbye and Hello! I am Fluff, and I won’t be active on twitter often unless I will.
Trixx @ FoxyLad Technically, I’m also following the rules. 😎
;) @ Multiplication I know I just put my special ability down, but if I put my animal representative down (rat) I’ll ruin the joke... Mullo here.
Subjection @ Busylittleworkerbee I feel like I’m one of the few that still actually listens to Tikki... Pollen, at your service!
Y’all better be rich if you talk to me @ TransportationTeleportationHorse Just providing a friendly warning... Kaalki here, and I only interact with the best.
Protection @ Turtle Wayzz here, feeling like a fool since I decided following Tikki’s rule was a good idea. __________
These two groups seem like they work together? Or they’re both coincidently animal-themed, and I’m making connections when there are none. The next few are seemingly one-off people! __________
Caroline @ GLaDOS While I never saved the world myself, I saved the life of someone who did, and that should count for something.
Refined Pig @ Waddles ✔️ ((I know this is an account for my pet pig, but the creator of this account, me, has saved the world, and Waddles was there, along with my brother, @ ConspiracyTheorist))
The government isn’t the only one hiding the truth @ ConspiracyTheorist ✔️ You make me sound like a sidekick like I didn’t save your behind multiple times.
Danny Phantom’s cousin @ CALLHIMINVISOBILL Dani Phantom here! I save Amity Park, plus the world, and I’m cute to boot!
Red @ Huntress @ CALLHIMINVISOBILL is my sidekick, ignore her.
Danny Phantom’s cousin @ CALLHIMINVISOBILL Rude!
Danny PHANTOM @ GhostKingOFFICIAL ✔️ DON’T CALL ME INVISO-BILL
Danny Phantom’s cousin (Ghost Princess?) @ CALLHIMINVISOBILL You love me! 💙💚
Danny PHANTOM @ GhostKingOFFICIAL ✔️ I know you are using those for the color aesthetic, but I hope you know the blue heart represents loyalty, because you have absolutely none of that for me.
Danny Phantom’s cousin (Ghost Princess?) @ CALLHIMINVISOBILL True... How’d you even find this account anyway?
Danny PHANTOM @ GhostKingOFFICIAL ✔️ I know better than to not keep an eye on you. I’ve known for months. __________
And that’s all for now! I know we’re missing some, like Batman and my uncle, but they should be on by tomorrow. An update will be posted then!
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Racism, Tone-Policing and Speaking Out in Fandom
Unequivocal condemnation of fanfic or art that glorifies or romanticises the Nazi regime and/or promotes a narrative which erases its significant horrors feels like it should be an easy position to take. A no-brainer. This wasn’t an example of art designed to make us uncomfortable or to provoke discussion; it was an unthinking, romanticised depiction of a regime that committed galling atrocities, swiftly followed by the lightwashing of a canonically black fictional character. We inhabit an online space where misinformation travels rapidly, where white supremacism thrives. This should be a something people can publicly condemn without worrying unduly about any potential backlash.
The fact that even speaking out on this topic has caused people - including queer, Jewish people - to feel silenced, attacked, tone-policed and chastised as they share their reaction to something they consider abhorrent is symptomatic of a much broader issue in fandom spaces broadly and it is that which I want to talk about in this post. I don’t want to conflate racism in fandom with the now two instances of Nazi-themed Harry/Draco art, but I think a lot has been said on the latter and want to take the opportunity to use what has happened over the last two days as a jumping off point to think about the former. When it comes to callout, to speaking out and to our responsibilities as fans, I think there are important connections.
The unfettered protection of freedom of content creation is something I have passionately defended and will continue to do so throughout my time in fandom. This is demonstrated by the spaces I have either created or moderated for several years, most notably HP Kinkfest and HP Horror Fest. However, protecting that position is often the point at which conversations get closed, the trump card played to end all other discussions that might make us - and by us I mean white fans like myself - uncomfortable with the conversations being instigated. I’m not convinced that ‘unfollow me now’ posts are ever particularly helpful, as they have an air of performative allyship about them, leading to echo-chambers and knee-jerk responses, and one thing we are particularly bad at these days is engaging with any difficult topics with nuance.
As ever, this post is long, and there are some resources at the end should you wish to keep reading.
Difficult conversations in fandom are those which force us to critically interrogate our own modes of fannish engagement, and the extent to which we listen when invited to consider if the things we uphold as progressive are really progressive at all. Perhaps the fallout from this latest debacle is a good time to sit back and consider the things we speak out about, the things we don’t speak out about, the centering of white voices and perspectives, the privilege that comes from being able to leave certain discussions to other people simply because they are difficult and, by extension, the groups we expect to take on the responsibility and emotional labour involved with speaking out. Perhaps this might prompt us to examine the way we react to things without thoughtful critique of broader socio-political structures in place that become part of fandom’s hierarchy of conversation and content creation.
It is not enough to react to a something that creates a visceral response from the majority of people in a fandom but then ignore the less comfortable questions that flow from it. To assert a position on extreme examples of something that is not okay but then refuse to listen to people who express discomfort about things which might harsh your own fannish squee or might force you to consider the less instinctively obvious ways you might be contributing to racism in fandom is an inconsistent, safe way of engaging with the complexities that come from critiquing fandom spaces. The appearance of now two pieces of art that provoke almost universal fandom-wide disgust cannot be the only time we actively demonstrate an interest in expressing vocally that racism and white supremacy has no place in our fandom spaces.
We are ten years on from Race Fail ‘09 yet conversations around race are still being derailed, tones being policed, POC fans being portrayed as particularly angry, impolite or prone to complaint. I have seen this happen on multiple occasions, where the platform for critical discussion of content creation in fandom has been stripped away, or people have been silenced, in pursuit of protecting the fun part of fandom, the right to produce content unfettered, protecting the ability for women to create uncensored. I fundamentally believe the latter is an important, joyous and political act of fandom experience, but it loses some of its politicised resonance when that starting point is used to silence others trying to start critically nuanced discussions.
Freedom of content cannot be the point at which we disavow ourselves of any responsibility to question the things that inform our own perspectives. We cannot allow our passionate defence of that position to cloud our ability to listen to other perspectives. I’m not here to protect the children, but we must not conflate resistance to conservative-leaning narratives that advocate for sanitised and problem-free content, with the issues fans from marginalised groups try to raise about the way fandom has work to do when it comes to having proper conversations around queerness, race, misogyny and so on. We cannot on the one hand rush to condemn a pretty obvious issue, and on the other fail to think about the other questions it raises because it might stop us from having a good time.
The difficult conversations that spring to mind – the ones that get immediately shut down – include thinking critically about objects of fandom, the tendency to approach questions of social justice through an American (frequently white) lens, the continued dominance of white, cis-male slash ships, inability to critique - or listen to critique of - the things we love when canon or creators make decisions that leave people distressed. The conversations include thinking about how fictional characters are romanced or sanitised to the point at which their fanon portrayal erases any of their past political choices, tokenism, shutting down conversations around racebending and failing to understand why – for some POC fans – that doesn’t feel representative when it is handled unthinkingly in fanfiction produced by white authors.
To refuse to engage with these questions often involves shouting over or silencing people who are trying to explain why something makes them uncomfortable in pursuit of protecting freedoms afforded to us as we create unfettered content. I’m not suggesting that we should not be free to create content – we are, all of us – aware of the slipperiness of that particular slope, but with that freedom comes a responsibility. If we care about the voices frequently talked over within our fandom, we – and I include myself in this – need to be better at listening when people force us to examine our own modes of engagement. This involves taking the time to conduct our own research, to take that responsibility upon ourselves instead of expecting others to educate us. It involves researching political posts we put on our blogs together with assessing the fandom content we produce and engage with. Are they accurate? Are they correct? It involves labour, time taken to educate ourselves, and balancing speaking out with knowing when that becomes speaking over, knowing when to sit down, shut up and listen.
I am writing this because I have been culpable. On many occasions I have remained silent on issues or refused to confront difficult situations for fear of losing friendships or to protect my own status within fandom. I have found certain conversations uncomfortable and have therefore avoided them altogether for fear of being seen as a trouble-maker, or someone who is trying to police or gatekeep fandom content whilst simultaneously wanting to so fiercely protect freedom of content creation. I have had several friends call me out on this, and my discomfort with taking on fraught topics when feelings are involved is something I have had to re-examine. Thank you to the friends who have challenged me on this. It is a brave thing to do, something I haven’t always responded well to, and I appreciate you for a much-needed dose of honesty. This post by @dictacontrion (rightfully) made me uncomfortable because it has called me out. In particular, this:
If we are not willing to speak up and take action, if we are not willing to risk our comfort, risk our status, risk our ease in order to defend freedom and equality, than we are not defenders freedom and equality. If we are not willing to speak up and take action in defense of our principles, our principles mean nothing.
I am working on my own methods of fandom engagement. I apologise for all of those conversations I have taken myself out of because they were hard, and I promise I will strive to do better. As noted above we are a decade on from Race Fail, but these patterns continue to occur. I want to conclude by noting that the perspectives I have outlined above do not come from my own work. They come from the – often free and emotionally exhaustive – labour that has been put into raising these issues and asking those difficult questions within fandom space and within the broader sphere of fan studies. The work of Dr Rukmini Pande, Stich’s Media Mix and the many guests that have featured on @fansplaining episodes have been instrumental starting points for me and I have included some of the links below for that I would encourage people to consider listening to and reading together with exploring the links in the show notes and the Twitter accounts, blogs and tumblrs of the featured guests.
Episode 22A - Race and Fandom Part 1: Fansplaining’s Flourish and Elizabeth follow up on the last episode’s questions about the impact of racism in the Star Wars fandom—and how it’s a microcosm of fandom at large. They interview Rukmini Pande and Clio, and they hear clips from Holly Quinn, Shadowkeeper, and PJ Punla. Topics covered include the historical presence of fans of colour, space nazis, femslash and its discontents, and the Filipino perspective on the whiteness of media.
Episode 22B - Race and Fandom Part 2: In the second and final installment of Fansplaining’s “Race and Fandom” episodes, fans of colour continue to speak about their experiences in fandom. Elizabeth and Flourish interview Jeffrey Lyles and Zina, then hear clips from Roz, Traci-Anne, and zvi LikesTV. Topics covered include being Black and Jewish, Star Wars weddings, cosplaying characters of color, and why kink is never divorced from the real world.
Episode 89 - Rukmini Pande: An episode where Dr. Rukmini Pande, a fan studies scholar whose new book, Squee From the Margins, explores race in both the field as well as fandom at large. Topics discussed include defining the boundaries of “fandom,” how queerness and gender structure fan studies while race typically does not, closed vs open digital platforms, how fandom discussions of racism are often relegated to “crisis points,” and more.
I also recommend the Transformative Works and Cultures Journal special edition on Fans of Color, Fandoms of Color (Vol 29 (2019)) which is freely accessible and edited by Abigail De Kosnik and André Carrington.
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I really love that you mention this, because we are actually taught, clinically, to consider social anxiety disorder as what we call a "differential diagnosis" (which is basically clinical talk for "these two diagnoses often present VERY similarly, so if you are considering the possibility of one, you should make sure to assess/rule in or out the other as well) for Autism Spectrum Disorder as a diagnosis.
Which is sort of my way of saying, yes! There really is a lot of overlap! To the point that there can be some really interesting conversations about similarities and distinctions between the two, and mental health professionals should keep up to date on those to ensure they are able to provide quality care for clients who might share these experiences. This is, to be fair, often easier said than done when you're expected to do so for the entirety of the contents of the DSM lmao. I can certainly acknowledge I don't keep up to date on every bit of differential diagnosis research, and have my small areas of specialization instead.
But that's sort of the point! As a clinician at a practice, it's really common for my boss to reach out to us about our skills and knowledge on specific diagnoses or modalities, because the client has requested someone informed on those topics. In my own journies on the client side of the table, I also do this! I try to only work with mental health care professionals who report a specialization or expertise or license in a specific diagnosis I carry or therapy approach I want to have access to. This is easier to do when we as clients know the specific clinical terms for what we're needing expertise in. When I've got my clinician hat on, I'm really explicit with clients about what techniques we're using and how to ask for these things from others. A truly unbelievable amount of my talks with clients fall under the heading of "psychoeducation". This is basically trying to convey as much of my expertise about the way one might experience traits and symptoms associated with their diagnosis, and how to advocate for themselves within the healthcare system. It is very much our right as clients to learn about these things, and part of why I talk about things like this here is because, at least for mental health experiences I share, I think it's good for this information to be a bit....normalized? Like, I think we should be able to talk openly and confidently about our health experiences because that is actually pretty key to obtaining quality care and support when we need it. I'm not able to speak to every experience, but I can speak to mine as someone in the dual role of "person who needs mental health care" and "person who provides mental health care". I think the more of us talk openly about our experiences of the neurodiversity of humanity, the more we can force the issue of creating entirely new systems of care that actually come from an origin point of our humanity and right to compassionate, evidence-based care. I really hope that's true, but I know that the question "who can talk openly about this" is a deeply loaded one. There is no disconnecting other systems of oppression from the way mental health and neurodiversity are conceptualized in our societies.
I recognize the space that I occupy as a dual stakes participant in the current mental health system as being highly valuable, privileged, and rightfully mistrusted by many who know first hand how harmful our current system can be. I am under no illusions that what we have now is at all acceptable. I do my best to pay forward quality care I have been fortunate enough to receive, and to challenge care that I know (sometimes first hand) to be harmful. This is not enough. Systemic problems cannot be resolved by individuals, and ultimately it is only through collective direct action that systems come to an end or evolve. But the good news is I know it's not just me! There IS collective action about this! So I'm not one person trying to be a hero, I'm a face in a crowd singing for change like a chorus. I like that for me, and try to make choices where I can that supports collective actions in a variety of directions. Trying to be open about my own body-mind experiences wherever I can is one of those choices.
Anyway, this took a very extended trip from start to finish, but I'm hoping that how I got there makes sense to others.
I was talking to a client today about "how to identify masking" as part of the process of learning how to shift masking from a reflexive coping strategy to a voluntary and conscious one and I feel like it led to a really important shift in framework FOR ME about masking and social distress.
Paraphrasing, the ideas we came to are as follows:
One of the reasons masking can be so difficult to recognize is because, essentially, masking is the act of performing "yourself" as a mirror for the other person you are interacting with. It's this idea of "I will micro-manage my own mood, affect, behavior, mannerisms, and environment in order to reflect back to you whatever version of "self" you need from me because if I don't there will be consequences". So because masking is essentially performing "mirroring" as selfhood by amplifying or minimizing aspects of yourself based on what you think the other person wants to see in you, it varies significantly from one context to another. The major commonality is that it takes up an INCREDIBLE amount of energy, mental and emotional resources, cognitive processing power, etc. So you don't identify masking by specific behaviors so much as by the feeling of "having a significant amount of your mental/emotional resources be occupied by the act of social interaction" to the point that it doesn't leave enough left-over for other cognitive tasks, or leaves you feeling exhausted and worn out, or basically by the impact that masking has on you during and after.
In this framework, part of why we get so anxious about new or unfamiliar people or situations is because we don't know how to mask in that context yet, and so until we get there and figure it out, we're basically just terrified of what could go wrong since we don't know what we're walking into.*
*This is the underlying framework of anticipatory and obsessive anxiety as well. Anticipatory and obsessive anxiety functions as the mechanism by which we conduct both predictive reasoning-basd advance planning and review/self-correctionof our mental predictive model.
Autistic aversion to uncertainty has a lot to do with our need to be able to use predictive reasoning-based advance planning to cope with "social deficits" aka how much harder it is for us to interpret subtextual/nonverbal cues, learn/meet social expectations, and work through/around disordered sensory processing. That predictive reasoning requires us to be familiar, in advance, with the stable constant factors that influence decision making in social contexts. If we aren't familiar with the constant variables than we can't plan, if we can't plan than we are more likely to make noticeable social mis-steps, and if we take notable social mis-steps there are consequences. It becomes necessary for us to be hypervigilent to observable patterns in other people's behavior in order to try to reverse engineer the social interaction playbook on the fly. That ends up making us more likely to assume personal responsibility for predicting and managing the emotional regulatory needs of people around us at all costs, replicating the behavioral/cognitive impacts of chronic traumatic stress due to the activation of our sympathetic nervous system from chronic hypervigilence.
Essentially, masking is a cognitive defense mechanism to severe and/or persistant traumatic interpersonal stressors. As the neurological impacts of chronic traumatic stress heal, we mask less frequently. But in order to heal from chronic traumatic stress, the human brain requires a safe environment that does not trigger a retraumatization episode or replicate feelings of helplessness/fear for safety. In other words, reducing/terminating masking safely requires us as autistic people to have consistent access to social environments in which we are able to utilize autistic interpersonal boundaries without fear of consequence or chonically unmet need. This requires the people around us to be able to respect not only autistic interpersonal boundaries, but also autistic self-expression/advocacy modalities and mediums.
I feel like a lot of the pieces of this framework have been rattling around in my head for a while but the flavor of words hit just right today and all the connections snapped into place.
Anyway, I'm still sort of sorting through the clinical implications of this framework but I think it's a direction I want to keep exploring for sure.
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Welcome Rachel! We’re pleased to announce your audition for Garrett Hall / The Heir has been accepted! Please send your account into the main within the next 24 hours. We can’t wait to have you join us!
{{ PLAYER INFORMATION }}
NAME: Rachel
AGE: 19
TIMEZONE: PST
PRONOUNS: She/her, though I’m pretty relaxed about pronouns addressed to myself.
ACTIVITY LEVEL: I’m not normally busy over the summer. I could write at least once a day unless executive dysfunction takes hold, which isn’t a normal situation for me. My free time will slim during the weekdays when September starts due to school, but I keep my schedule spaced out so I can get writing and other things done.
PREVIOUS ROLEPLAY EXPERIENCE: I first made a role-play blog in 7th or 8th grade, and have rped for several years afterward on Tumblr and other platforms such as Google Drive, Discord, and RP Adventures. While I’ve had good times and made a couple close friends online, I have admittedly left Tumblr altogether because none of the communities I found were safe spaces for me. But I’ve had Karo, Lance, and Rachel advocate for this group and I’m really missing a quality rp experience
PERSONAL TUMBLR CONTACT: Removed for Privacy
TRIGGERS: None that I know of right now. I have some pretty strong trypophobia? But the things that I see as triggers are very personal, and not something that can be easily set off online.
{{ CHARACTER INFORMATION }}
CHARACTER NAME: Garrett Hall
PRONOUNS: He/him
AGE: 30
ORIGIN: The Heir
FACE CLAIM: Dan Stevens (Primary) or Arthur Darvill (Secondary)
QUOTE: “I never wanted this destiny. But now, I need it more than ever.”
OCCUPATION: Having recently left a lofty career as a lawyer outside of Newhaven, Garrett has recently gained a job as an accountant for a humble bakery. The explanation will be included in his biography.
PERSONALITY: [Intelligent] Even without the dual wielded powers inherited from his parents, Garrett grew up a prodigy of all kinds. From a young age he mastered languages from the English, Russian, and French he heard daily, to Spanish, sign language, and Mandarin. Kinesthetic intelligence developed in his training and play, both effectively honing his body for a future of constant movement. In school, he set academic records that have yet to be beaten. For much of his childhood, he was educated in classes above most children his age until his parents moved him back down, rightfully fearing the neglect of his emotional needs. With the focus on his own growth, Garrett came to brush off those who seemed lesser than him, whether he meant to or not. Sometimes he did. Without establishing connections with the rest of the essentials for life, Vlad and Chantelle worried for his future. However, Garrett refused to ease his burdens, continuing to cultivate his mind and the skills he proved good at. After all, it’s what all the people wanted from him, right?
[Blunt] One of the few things Garrett struggled with has always been social interaction. He can and has come off to others as rude and irritable, not just because he is, but also because he lacks the understanding of sensing others’ emotions and following that to a proper response. As a result, he simply says and does what is on his mind.
[Emotional] While he would argue his brain to be his greatest strength, Garrett is almost entirely emotionally driven, and rather impulsive at that. He is the type of person to act first and apologize later than to ask for permission or another’s point of view. As much as he pretends to be an impervious wall to those around him, Garrett is prone to wear sad eyes and scrunch his face to avoid a fit of helpless snickers. Plus, there’s the avoidance of sad films; he has made many people uncomfortable with gross tears. He has also grown acutely aware of his personal traits and needs, as well as the ways his actions affect the lives of others. This may be the biggest cause for his return to Newhaven.
[Observational] This trait is somewhat tied to those addressed before. Garrett is smart; he sees things and does everything he can to understand the who, where, when, why, how, and what to do next. It is much easier for him to go through this experience with the theoretical, scientific, mathematical, and rhetorical than it with the human mind. Humans are not so predictable, and Point A does not always lead to Point B with them.
[A Grade A Asshole] That’s it. This is him. We’re done here. In slightly more seriousness, he can really be a jerk. This is important when connected to his impulsivity and inability to understand people. Garrett has made a number of mistakes that hurt other individuals in his own self-destructive spiral. When he says and does what he believes needs to be done, his methods can be… questionable at best.
[Troubled] Both Garrett and Legacy behave complete differently for the same reason: he doesn’t know how to amend the person he is with the person he wants or needs to be, as well as what is expected from him. His entire sense of self has been fractured, and it shows. Garrett attempts to push himself almost completely from the kind of person most would accept, much less want to be around. Legacy is quite the opposite, the golden boy he was fated to be since the very beginning. But neither of them are the real him. He doesn’t know how to get that back.
BIOGRAPHY: On March 28, 1990, everyone in Newhaven knew about the first son of Gryphon and Bogatyr, heroes of The Guild. The journey of Gryphon’s pregnancy was followed by the public since she first left the front lines to preserve her health and that of the baby. His name was never released, of course, lest the heroes, his parents, would be revealed.
They called him Fledgling, born with the beak of an an eagle and destined to follow in the footsteps of his father and mother.
Behind the mask, the Halls were a loving, if somewhat overinvested nuclear family. Vladimir Hall, cheerful father and knightlike superhero, lived as an interpreter of numerous Slavic languages for immigrants such as himself. Chantelle Prevost-Hall had more of a challenge to balance out her heroics and her civilian life as a popular stunt actress, but she was more than up to the task for what she felt was the right thing to do. They adored Garrett, and later their second son, Vincent, who inherited none of the family’s powers. But if Chantelle were to look back, she would see that her presence in the boys’ emotional conflicts was a place she fell short, and where she was needed more than ever. For Vlad, he was kind, he was affectionate, but the man simply could not empathize with his sons of a different generation and culture. Where they faltered to meet their children’s needs, they compensated in support of their education, social lives, and especially Garrett’s own unique abilities.
Along with his astonishing prowess throughout his years of education, Garrett was trained in his superhuman abilities — plural after his secondary power manifested at age 4 — so that he would flourish as a sidekick to the heroic power couple Gryphon and Bogatyr, and eventually ascend to become a hero of The Guild. Everybody knew this. People gossiped, journalists followed the masked child’s every move, and where they failed to catch anything of note, they could glean some off of the proud parents themselves. Nobody was more excited for Fledgling’s next development than them.
That is why Garrett never told them how he really felt. His fears, his anxieties and insecurities were clutched to his chest, and he never spoke a word of his peers and other adults who saw him as the loner, a shortcut to their own successes, or the perfect target to push into the dirt. When he came home with a soggy bookbag and a busted lip, he said he fell into a fountain. When given the silent treatment by his younger brother, powerless and painfully average in everything but heart, he said he had eaten the last of Vincent’s favorite snack. When someone spoke about Fledgling and his sparkling future, he smiled and kept his mouth shut, even though he screamed on the inside, “Does anyone care what I think?!”
The last flickering light of hope turned to smoke when he learned the answer. Almost 18 years old, freshly dubbed a hero in his own right, and he had nobody. Even his best friend, his favorite person, his first love, only looked up to the heroic side of the mask. Just like everyone else.
Fledgling was so lucky, wasn’t he? To be the child of heroes, to be anywhere close to Spectrum, to be a hero himself.
That’s not me.
The rest of that day was a blur. He went to his room, threw on a jacket, got in his first — and only — fight with his dad, and then he was gone. He doesn’t remember what he said that evening. Only the rage, the guilt, the fear, but not enough to pretend he could ever make his family proud. Fledging was declared to have stepped down a week later, when the Halls had to realize that Garrett wasn’t coming home.With no contact, no leads, no motivation for him to completely run away, it was as though Garrett simply dissolved into thin air.
The years following were just as foggy when Garrett tries to look back. He wandered the streets, learned what it’s like to fight for his life, hitchhiked out of the city, and worked the odd job here and there until a kind samaritan had pity and took him in. He got into college with a double major in law and accounting, then law school because you can take the boy away from heroics, but you can’t take the hero out of the boy. He became a lawyer in the city on the outskirts, and a good one at that. It wasn’t until the last year that he was found by his brother, now an officer who begged and bothered for his return.
He got through to Garrett. This was not the life he wanted to lead anymore. In the span of a day, he quit his job, said goodbye to the person who took him in those years back, and disappeared into the night. The second time he ran, this time to the very place he yearned to leave behind.
His abrupt resignation would not bode well if he applied to another law firm, and between the deskwork and the effort outside of the office, he would hardly have time to have a full night’s rest. It was Vincent’s suggestion to start small instead, so Garrett pulled out his second degree and took the first accounting job he could get, at a bakery just mere blocks from the apartment he rented out. It was the perfect foundation to slip into the evening sky for the first time in years, wings bared for all to see.
After everything he did, it all lead back to putting on those golden shackles.
{{ VIGILANTE INFORMATION }}
VIGILANTE NAME: Legacy
PRONOUNS: He/him
APPEARANCE: In his teens, Fledgling was designed by his parents a fun little getup of dark gray nylon striped with scarlet lightning bolts beneath his armor. The material of the armor (described in powers) remains a mystery to both Bogatyr and his son. It appears as strong meteoric iron, but has never been broken beyond a few significant dents, which is repaired on its own when released from the wielder. In that time, he always wore his helmet to conceal his identity, shaped like the head of an elaborate eagle for his gryphon traits within.
Years later, it is hard to tell if the newly named Legacy has changed completely or not at all. The body armor stays the same as it was, though larger to fit his grown physique. Underneath, he bears a flexible black shirt with a jagged gold stripe up the front and two slits near his shoulder blades, a fairly plain pair of snug black trousers, golden bracelets that reach from wrist to mid-forearm, and a set of sandals that shift to wrap around his legs when his feet transform into the claws of a lion. When without his helmet for protection, Legacy wears a gold and silver masquerade mask of a gryphon, similar to the kind his mother used to own.
SIGIL: A heraldic emblem of a gryphon in silver.
COLOUR SCHEME: Goldenrod (#DAA520), silver (#ACACAC), and black (#000000)
FIGHTING STYLE: Close combat, minimalizing serious damage.
CLASS TYPE: Offensive
MORAL ALIGNMENT: Lawful Neutral
POWERS: [Gryphon Physiology] From his mother, Legacy possesses a genetic structure that can shift from fully human to a more animalistic form. This ability is not powered by emotions or the person’s control, but is merely another body for him to inhabit. However, the more he changes at once, the more painful the process becomes. He has to physically make alterations to his muscles, bones, and every part of his body, which is hardly a natural effort. The most he can accomplish without causing significant injury to himself is manifest his wings, talons, claws, and bird-like eyes. Garrett has only tried to fully transform once as a teenager, but he failed impressively and never made an attempt since.
His strength and other physical attributes rely on his own fitness, except for the strength of his wings, massive and powerful to carry the weight of a grown man and then some, thus entirely capable of blunt damage should he risk injury to one of his most sensitive body parts. Another consequence is that his clothes get torn from the transformation if they are not specifically altered for this ability.
Gryphon and Bogatyr discovered his inheritance as soon as he was born; it was undeniable when they saw a beak in place of a wrinkled nose and mouth, and a head of pale, downy feathers. His parents made the decision while the medics tended to the newborn. They kept his identity a top secret from the disappointed city, known only to the doctors and the closest members of The Guild as they trained him parallel to his growing up.
[Armor/Weapon Manifestation] “He is his father’s son,” said Gryphon, hiding a smile behind her hand as Bogatyr slammed the door open with 4-year-old Garrett swinging a knife behind him.
“Mama! Look what I made!”
Bogatyr is able to create a full suit of armor around his body as well as an impressive range of weaponry as long as they are predominantly composed of metal. Legacy, on the other hand, can only make himself a sophisticated shortsword, shield, and the very basics of armor: visor, breastplate, shoulder guards, and simple coverings for his arms and legs. This ability also lasts for no more than a couple hours without causing significant strain (one and a half hours while part-gryphon), and can only bear up to the force of twice its mass without visible damage, likely due to a weaker version of the mutated gene. But the flexibility works well when he shifts forms with Gryphon’s power. For both men, the properties of their manifestations has no match to any known type of metal, but most closely resembles heat treated L6 Bainite. Between them and those who worked on research with them, they suspect the armor may be connected to iron and other materials from their bodies. For obvious health-related reasons, though, there have been no tests on either Bogatyr or Legacy.
{{ STATS }}
OBSCURITY: 1/5 (-1 obscurity)
CONTROL: 4/5
LUCK: 3/5
---
STRENGTH: 3/5
SPEED: 4/5
CHARISMA: 2/5
INTUITION: 3/5 (-1 intuition)
AGILITY: 3/5
STAMINA: 3/5
INTELLIGENCE: 5/5
DURABILITY: 4/5
{{ EXTRAS }}
HEADCANONS: -Even though he contains enough issues to fill a personal Pandora’s Box, Garrett does not come from a life of abuse or neglect. At this point in time, he’s come to accept that a number of different causes – miscommunication, insecurity, undiagnosed anxiety and depression, and outside forces that would take a second list to name off – resulted in his ultimate act of running away. He only wants to make his round of apologies and decide where to go next.
-He’s a devoted night owl, for better or for worse.
-Those from the Guild are likely to know his real identity.
-Because his father’s Russian, his mother’s French, and he was raised in Newhaven, poor Garrett speaks with an accent that is an unholy amalgamation of all three.
-Sometimes he tries to meme. Don’t let him.
-Legacy is surprisingly good at working with others. Garrett’s just an ass.
ADDITIONAL INFORMATION: -Garrett is part of Dimetre’s ex-lover/friend plot, but with a couple minor changes. He’s the character who inspired that plot, haha!
-Songs: Luck by American Authors, Stroke by Stroke from Jasper in Deadland, I Was Me - Imagine Dragons, You Don’t Know from Next To Normal, May I by Trading Yesterday, Lullaby for a Stormy Night by Vienna Teng
-Aesthetics: Papers and folders on a tabletop, the constellation Lyra, tears smearing the ink on a letter, golden wings, fallen angel, coffee with foam art, snowfall on a veranda, gleaming steel.
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Abuse is Complicated
I’m writing this after having read Moses Farrow’s article.
What I’m about to say might cause offence (especially if interpreted unfavourably), or else it might seem ill-intended or unsavoury in some way. It strikes me that on its own, none of these is ever a good reason to shut up.
All I can do is insist that my aim is broadly to help rather than harm, regardless of how clearly and carefully I manage to express what I mean. For what it’s worth, I’ve tentatively concluded that my view here isn’t being obscured by any privileged blindspots, at least to the best of my ability (given the optical disabilities potentially conferred by said blindspots). And perhaps most importantly, I’m willing to listen to contrary views and I’m open to changing my mind.
After writing the above disclaimer, I must say that the forthcoming post doesn’t feel quite as controversial as it did initially. I dunno, maybe it is. In any case, the subject of abuse is certainly (and rightfully) a sensitive one.
Whatever the status of Moses Farrow’s article in relation to the accusations about Woody Allen, when it’s considered in wholly abstract terms I think it’s an important contribution to the conversation about abuse. It speaks to the care and critical thinking with which claims of abuse and abusive situations ought to be treated.
This reminder is two-fold and bidirectional. First, it should remind us to be wary of confirmation bias. E.g. we should be careful not to believe Moses Farrow’s version of events primarily because we want to enjoy Woody Allen’s films without guilt. Such motivations are often tacit and easy to deny (or to repress, for that matter).
Second, and from the opposite direction, it should also remind us of just how complicated abusive situations often are. Generally-speaking, it’s too easy and self-serving to immediately jump into firmly advocating for x, where x is the simplest story that initially rings true for us, or fits with our anecdotal experiences or sociopolitical agendas.
In particular, one complication that the article raises (whether or not it’s relevant to the specific case of Mia Farrow vs Woody Allen) is the following rather counterintuitive fact:
falsely accusing others of abuse is a prominent characteristic of abusive people.
Needless to say, this fact alone serves to massively complicate outsider interpretations of abuse claims, even though the informal benefit of the doubt should probably lie with accusers rather than the accused, for broadly pragmatic reasons (and contrary to the legal presumption of innocence, which itself exists for broadly pragmatic reasons). Of course, it’s also the case that truly accusing others of abuse is, by logical necessity, a characteristic of targets of abuse or people speaking on their behalf. However, unlike the above, this fact is hardly a counter-intuitive one.
Given that making false accusations of abuse is a prominent characteristic of abusers, why is it somewhat counterintuitive? In part, I suspect it’s counterintuitive just because it implies that in many cases of alleged abuse, appearances are not merely deceiving but exactly the reverse of what is true (or, to be more accurate, the negation or contradiction of the truth). Such pills are always going to be hard to swallow. Separately, I suspect it���s counterintuitive partly because we’re falling prey to something that usually serves us well—namely, our empathy—and that our empathy is letting us down in two different ways.
First, I suspect that our empathy is letting us down because it makes it hard for us to imagine that some people are wired very differently from ourselves. Automatically, we tend to try to explain other people’s behaviour by using ourselves as a model, and projecting onto other people our own most likely reasons for the relevant behaviour. Because of this, it can strike us as the height of implausibility that someone would make a false claim of abuse, merely because there are very few possible contexts in which we imagine that we (or people relevantly like us) would have a compelling motivation for doing so. (Why would they lie? It’s too risky! Why would they risk the humiliation, invasions of privacy, victim-blaming, character assassinations, and negative attention unless they were telling the truth?!)
Let’s put aside the fact that there are people who are psychotic to varying degrees, and therefore might firmly and inflexibly believe things for which they have absolutely no evidence. Even so, there‘s a substantial chunk of the population (approximately 10 in every 100 people) who not only lie frequently, but also have pathological motivations for lying that would seem bizarre to a person who was relevantly psychologically healthy, and would be difficult for such a person to comprehend.
Indeed, this is a large part of the reason that making false accusations of abuse is a prominent characteristic of abusive people in the first place. Broadly-speaking, lying to get what you want, and compulsively shifting the blame at any cost, are themselves abusive behaviours. The personality disorders that dispose people to abusive behaviours also dispose them, inter alia, to impulsive risk-taking, psychological projection, lying, confabulating, creating drama for it’s own sake, seeking attention (sometimes even if it’s negative), and compulsive blame-shifting. Thus, in effect, such disorders dispose people to making false accusations of abuse, in circumstances in which no healthy person would have any motivation to do so, and even in circumstances in which doing so would be not just risky but inevitably self-destructive. If you don’t suffer from one of these personality disorders then unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately) you have very little hope of grasping the mindset and motivations of such a person. In lieu of this intuitive understanding, you simply have to take into account, as a brute fact, that approximately 10% of people (and probably slightly more) can have pathological motivations for falsely accusing others; motivations that would seem bizarre or prohibitively counter-productive to you.
In effect, when it strikes you as implausible that a particular accuser would be lying, it does so only because of your tacit assumption that the accuser is unlikely to be pathologically abusive. However, this assumption could easily come from the fact that you’re also tacitly assuming the wrong reference class—namely, the general population. A random member of the general population is rather unlikely to be pathologically abusive (since this is only true of roughly 10% of that population). However, the general population isn’t the correct reference class. The correct reference class is the population of people who’ve made accusations of abuse (whether true or false). To oversimplify slightly, a member of the general population will have made an accusation of abuse if and only if she either has been a genuine target of abuse, is a spokeperson thereof, or is actually a pathological abuser herself. Overall, this makes up a relatively small percentage of the general population. However, since making accusations of abuse is a prominent characteristic of pathological abusers, pathological abusers make up a sizeable proportion of those who’ve made accusations of abuse (whether true or false). In other words, pathologically abusive people are drastically over-represented within the correct reference class (the population of people who’ve made accusations of abuse, whether they be true or false). Accordingly, while it might seem implausible that a particular accuser would be lying for pathological reasons, it also follows from the mere fact of the accusation that the likelihood of such pathology is actually relatively high; indeed much higher than one might intuitively expect. By extension, one ought to expect the likelihood of an accusation’s falsehood to be much higher than one would expect on the basis of intuition (assuming that the relevant intuitions arise from familiarity with the general population, tacit beliefs about the average person, or tacit beliefs about people who’ve been selected completely at random).
The second way in which I suspect that our empathy is letting us down is far more straightforward. Simply put, we’re more likely to believe and want to comfort and defend those who are presenting to us as victims of abuse, and more likely to want to disbelieve, condemn, and punish those who are presenting to us as perpetrators of abuse. Generally-speaking, of course, these are good inclinations to have. However, it’s important to remember that abusers are good at exploiting those very inclinations for their own benefit. Indeed, this speaks to many of the reasons that abusive people make false accusations in the first place—namely, to garner sympathy, save face, avoid responsibility, get attention (even if it’s negative), shift the blame onto others, devalue and discredit others, punish others, force others to remain in their lives (rather paradoxically), and so on. Indeed, in genuinely abusive situations, it’s terrifyingly common that the real abuser appears to be a sympathetic victim, while the real victim appears to be an unhinged aggressor or crazy person (usually the result, in part, of trauma from having been abused).
I should reiterate, at this point, that I‘m not intending to suggest that Mia Farrow’s accusations about Woody Allen are false or pathological; nor am I intending to challenge the informal social practice of erring on the side of accusers rather than the accused, when it comes to the benefit of the doubt. It’s just that if Moses Farrow’s article is true, then it would seem to imply that Mia Farrow’s false accusations are indeed pathological in the relevant way. And, as is typical of such cases, it would seem that the personality disturbances from which the false accusations arose would have originated with Mia Farrow’s own traumatic experiences as a target of abuse. In this way, Moses Farrow’s article raises the issues that I’ve discussed whether or not it happens to be completely true.
Regardless of what you might tell yourself, you’re not siding with or protecting victims of abuse by ignoring complications of this kind, in order to settle for a simplistic narrative that just so happens to support your existing prejudices or accord with your confirmation bias. Instead, you’re actually providing aid and protection to abusers—specifically, those abusers who are counting on the fact that you’ll ignore the possibility of their own abusiveness, while they set about destroying other people’s lives. Abusers can only count on this because the possibility of their own abusiveness is not always immediately obvious, because this possibility complicates matters (and we prefer our matters to be easily digestible and outrageous, rather than indefinitely uncertain and emotionally confusing), and perhaps because they know that we’re wary of contributing to the very real problem of victim-blaming and invalidation, which genuine targets of abuse so frequently face.
I guess what I’m saying is that these things are pretty complicated, and we should always be wary of a simple and emotionally-resonant explanation, whether it resonates with us because it soothes us or because it horrifies us. In fact, it’s precisely when things are at their most emotional and confusing and distressing that our hard-won critical faculties are most important. It’s when we’re feeling a powerful emotional push towards believing something, or when things just seem self-evidently one particular extreme way, that we should be most careful to engage in self-questioning and scientific reasoning, and to recall what we know about our own cognitive biases and misleading intuitions.
There are good pragmatic reasons for resolving to err on the side of accusers, rather than on the side of the accused. But in light of Moses Farrow’s article, one is forced to ask: which of the accusers, exactly? By themselves, surely all of the following are relatively bad answers to this question: ‘the one who first made an accusation’, ‘the one who made the first accusation that I heard’, ‘the one whose accusation, if true, makes me feel better about watching certain films’, ‘the one who’s accusation fits with the kinds of abuse with which I’m most familiar, or fits with my uninformed preconceptions about what is likely or plausible’, ‘the one whose accusation pertains specifically to sexual abuse’, ‘the one whose accusation pertains specifically to the abuse of children’, ‘the one whose accusation would most horrify me if true’, ‘the one whose accusation pertains specifically to the abuse of someone of gender A by someone of gender B’, ‘the accuser who is gender A rather than gender B’, etc.
I admit that prior to reading Moses Farrow’s article, I erred on the side of believing that Woody Allen must have done something abusive. I’m sure that this belief involved some countervailing of the potential for confirmation bias, since I do like Allen’s early films. I’m also sure that the appearance of Allen’s guilt wasn’t helped by the social oddness of the relationship between Soon-Yi and himself, along with the very real potential for exploitation or an asymmetry of power there. Also, you know, it’s tempting to think that where there’s smoke there must be fire (a belief that’s justified roughly in proportion to the number of independent scientific verifications of smoke, together with the average amount of smoke thus verified). Also, if Allen did even some of the alleged stuff, then that would be really bad. And so on. Of course, by itself, none of these is a particularly good reason.
I’m not sure where I stand now, after having read Moses Farrow’s article. Many of the details seem convincing to me. But who the fuck knows (apart from the people who are directly involved). And I guess that’s the overall point, as unsettling and unsatisfying as it might be.
Regardless of how one should err pragmatically, perhaps the surest belief that one can form, upon hearing a claim of abuse, is that some instance of abuse has almost certainly taken place, even if it’s not the particular instance that’s asserted by the claim.
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Untangling the Moral Mess of “Star Wars The Last Jedi”: Part I
AKA My thoughts on “Star Wars The Last Jedi” Activism and Representation through Race, Sexuality, and Gender Politics:
Feminism: Older Women who are not Carrie Fisher! Women of Color! Non-sexualized Asian woman who is not terribly skinny too! Women in power who don’t have to sacrifice their femininity to maintain authority! Everything seems great… until we get to Rey and/vs Kylo Ren. There is so much to unpack, I’ll be doing that in later things. For now, I feel like to pull off Rey’s change in mindset, there needed to be at least another week of interactions with her and Kylo Ren. The movie takes place over 3 days at most, and almost immediately after TFA as well. They needed more time, as exemplified in Sketches from Superheroes’ wonderful analysis found here (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=234SXSWgxLw&t=394s).
LGBTQIA issues: Once again, Finn and Poe have a great dynamic that I would love to see explored more. The supplementary material goes further than the text toward LGBTQIA representation (with Poe saving his mother’s ring for the right ‘partner’ rather than woman and Admiral Holdo being implied pansexual with her line ‘it’s a big galaxy’). However, we get to my sorest spot: Rose. I swear to god, I see one more post hating on her and I will release the full fury of the dark side on that unfortunate mother fucker.
My apologies for the brief lack of professionalism. And I understand concerns that her presence was to deter StormPilot/FinnPoe shippers. But there was always going to be another character added to the good guys to be the Lando of the team; as such, it also makes sense that she would have chemistry with Finn, as he is the Han Solo character of the new series. As for StormPilot shipping… this movie had the words “Finn. Naked. Leaking Bag” in it, so I think there is still plenty of subtext for us to enjoy, even if Disney is not yet ready for that next step, Capitalist Cowards that they are.
That brings us to the especially sore spot, AKA The Racial politics of TLJ: this one seems to have just about everyone divided.
Finn is still portrayed as a deserter in spite of having grown past this in TFA, with his storyline not having much of a ‘point’ in the movie.
Rose’s arc is nonexistent/entirely revolves around teaching a man (Finn) a lesson.
Poe is being stereotyped into a ‘hot-headed latino’ who is being talked down to by white women, who ‘the movie wants you to hate.’
All of these are valid readings.
However, I feel they are somewhat incomplete.
Finn was running to protect Rey, who he faced Kylo Ren for in TFA. It has been maybe a week since his desertion from the First Order. His arc and eventual attempted heroic sacrifice was about learning to fight for something bigger, not just fight for the few people he cared about. He probably should have had more time undercover on the ship, a longer fight with Phasma (especially that deleted scene where she guns down troopers he was convincing to defect), and more contrast between himself and Kylo Ren as duel main male characters in the series, but I’m confident he’ll get more screen time in the next movie.
As TV Tropes notes, “many [fans] were disappointed with the fact that after being built up so heavily as the Decoy Protagonist, Finn failed in his two major action scenes in the previous movie. Having him fight Phasma and giving him his own subplot seems to be an attempt to rectify this. Although it's somewhat undermined by his character being relegated to the C plot and superfluous to the main story” (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/YMMV/TheLastJedi).
Rose had arguably the most defined arc in the movie; she is so selfless, she is the one person Leia trusts to take care of deserters. Her sister gave her life for the Resistance and Rose was willing to give her life and others’ lives as well. Only after meeting Finn does she realize that a completely selfless path is also self-destructive and there is also merit in selfishness (which also works into Poe’s theme of retreat not always being cowardly). While it could have been pulled off better, I think their scene on Crait with the speeders is sweet. Their kiss was a little odd, but it’s also John Boyega/Finn, so I get the attraction on Rose’s behalf.
Of course, the big one is Poe Dameron…
I am probably not the best person to talk about this as I am half-white and half-Asian, but I personally do not feel he is particularly out of character. First time we saw Poe in TFA, he abandoned his mission to save the villagers and shoot Kylo Ren, almost getting himself, his droid, and the map caught. He was already shown to favor all-or-nothing tactics, also evidenced by his run on Starkiller base, which had high costs due to miscalculations of how well shielded the target was. Same happens against the dreadnaught, only this time with him disobeying direct orders, as well as getting most of his men killed.
Leia, who sees him as a surrogate son as well as a future successor and therefore treats him as such, slaps him and demotes when he gets others killed in his defiance. After rightfully demoting him, he then tries to mansplain the situation to Holdo when she’s in charge and refuses to accept that he messed up and that his actions have consequences like not being privy to the plan and having to follow orders. Upon first viewing of the movie, most people side with Poe as we also don’t understand why Holdo is withholding information. But when Poe is given information, he starts throwing things on the bridge (which he was banned from) not unlike Kylo Ren and then organizes a mutiny. Yet he faces no further disciplining and learns his lesson about when you should fight and when you should flee.
The difficulty is balancing what needed to be said with the character to do it with. It is a classic trope that heroes disobey direct orders for a risky mission and when they pull it off, they face no repercussions. Was Poe the correct character to subvert this story with, as hot-blooded latino is a harmful stereotype that persists to this day? Probably not, but this is also a lesson that needed to be taught and I don’t think any of the other characters would fit in with this lesson, as it wouldn’t work as well for someone of lower or no rank like Rose or Finn or Rey.
Concerning the overall socio-political economics and the commentary surrounding it… I like the Casino scene. I didn’t at first as like many I felt it was a pointless red herring, but then I realized it was the entire point of the movie. The last scene with the slave children regaling tales of Luke Skywalker and the force sensitive one gazing at the stars with Rose’s Resistance ring wouldn’t make any sense if it had been omitted. This section got at both Rose’s theme of “It’s not just fighting what we hate, it’s saving what we love” and Poe’s theme of “we are the spark that will light the fire that will burn the first order to the ground;” in order to keep that spark going they need to save and inspire people like the slave kids, not just destroy the enemy like the First Order. That’s what makes them the heroes.
People compare this sequence to the prequels and they’re right. Because as bad as the prequels were, they were also right in some parts. War is perpetuated by the military industrial complex. The biggest threat to democracy is not necessarily outside forces like terrorists or war, but internal ones like corrupt politicians chipping away at peoples’ rights until they have none left. Perhaps if more people had listened we wouldn’t be in our current political situation. Or maybe we would. Again, I think people’s dislike of it has a lot to do with pacing and energy, as everything with the resistance feels very urgent, yet Finn and Rose spend a lot of time ogling at the rich and on this side-quest that ends up hindering more than harming.
In general, I think a lot of this backlash has to do with the fact that our heroes are extremely flawed here. Luke almost killed his nephew and then abandoned the galaxy (The Jedi Way™). Poe and Rose believe in victory at all costs, not thinking about the next fight so long as this one is won, which gets a lot of people killed. Finn is still trying to run (if for more selfless reasons this time around). Rey put her faith in a man she barely knew… twice. For the first time in a long time, we have heroes making mistakes and as leaders, they are not the only ones who pay for it, which is jarring but perhaps the most realistic part of the movie.
A main theme of this movie is gambling and the risks vs the benefits, hence the scenes on the Casino planet and the focus on the Millennium Falcon’s dice; a lot of characters gamble with their lives… and they lose. Poe/Finn/Rose arguably gamble the fate of the Resistance on DJ and lose. Holdo and Leia gamble on their small transports going unnoticed by the First Order and them having allies they can fall back on and lose. Rey gambled on both Luke coming back and Kylo Ren turning and halfway lost both times. Snoke felt invincible since he can read everybody’s thoughts before they happen and didn’t realize he was gambling with Kylo Ren until he lost. Kylo Ren gambled with his whole family and got his power but is left kneeling on the floor of an empty resistance base, clutching a pair of dice that weren’t even there.
Overall, this movie is riling both the Alt-Right and the Social Justice advocates. I personally believe it still plays more toward the latter than the former (especially with how they show the Space!Nazis to be Butt Monkeys and ineffectual toxically masculine losers), but cannot and will not discount people who take issue with these portrayals. If I have said anything that is downright racist, sexist, and/or homophobic, please tell me and I will re-evaluate my position. For now though, I feel The Last Jedi is the next step in an ever progressing galaxy.
I may do more parts of this series, focusing specifically on Finn + Rose, Leia/Holdo vs Poe, Rey vs Kylo Ren, and/or Luke, but for now, these are my thoughts. Hope they do something for untangling this complicated halfway living in a long time ago while also in a time and place very here.
Pictures are from Dichos de un Bicho and Kat Blaque’s Facebook pages.
#The Last Jedi#Feminism#LGBTQIA issues#Racism#Sexism#Homophobia#Rose Tico#Finn#Poe Dameron#Admiral Amilyn Holdo#Episode VIII#TLJ#Star Wars#Leia Organa#Rey#Kylo Ren#Phasma#Snoke#Kat Blaque#Dichos de un Bicho#Sketches from Superheroes#Disney#SW: TLJ#Star Wars: The Last Jedi
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Speaking Freely: Sandra Ordoñez
Sandra (Sandy) Ordoñez is dedicated to protecting women being harassed online. Sandra is an experienced community engagement specialist, a proud NYC Latina resident of Sunset Park Brooklyn, and a recipient of Fundación Carolina’s Hispanic Leadership Award. She is also a long-time diversity and inclusion advocate, with extensive experience incubating and creating FLOSS and Internet Freedom community tools. These commitments and principles drive Sandra���s work as the co-founder and Director of the Internet Freedom Festival (IFF) at Article19. Even before launching the Internet Freedom Festival, Sandra was helping to grow and diversify the global Internet Freedom community. As their inaugural Director of Community and Outreach, Sandra led the creation of Open Technology Fund’s (OTF) Community Lab. Before her time at OTF, Sandra was Head of Communications and Outreach at OpenITP where she supported the community behind FLOSS anti-surveillance and anti-censorship tools. She also served as the first Communications Director for the Wikimedia Foundation. As a researcher Sandra has conducted over 400 expert interviews on the future of journalism, and conducted some of the first research on how Search Engine Optimization (SEO) reinforces stereotypes. She also provides consultation on privacy-respecting community marketing, community building, organizational communication, event management, program design, and digital strategy. All while serving on the board of the Open Technology Fund, Trollbusters, and Equality Labs. In recent months Facebook, and others, have proposed the creation of oversight boards to set content moderation policies internationally. In the US, the fight to protect free expression has taken on a new urgency with Senators Graham and Blumenthal introducing the EARN IT Act. A bill that, if enacted, would erode critical free speech protections and create a government commission with the power to codify best practices, with criminal and civil liability on platforms that failed to meet them. With these committees in mind, I was eager to speak with Sandy about how these proposals would impact communities that are often the most directly affected, and the last consulted.
Nathan "nash" Sheard: What does free speech mean to you?
Oh, that's a good one. Free speech, to me, means the ability to share your thoughts, your analysis of things, your experience as a human being. Your experience can be anything from what you lived, to the challenges that you're facing, to your goals and hopes for the future.
The reason I'm wording it that way is because it really bothers me how free speech is being used recently. Hate speech, for me, is not free speech. I think that's why I'm phrasing it that way because I really think that the idea of free speech is to not censor people. To be able to express ideas and experiences and things like that. But it does not constitute an opportunity to basically hate against others or bring people down.
My partner is a philosophy professor, so I think of it in relation to critical thinking. I think of creating spaces that allow people to be honest and truthful, but towards improving society, not making it worse.
nash: What are your thoughts on responsible ways to navigate concerns around censorship and speech that is hateful or incites harm?
If I had that answer, I think I would be a billionaire right now. I think there's a very clear distinction, when folks are trying to debate, or share information, or when they're attacking another group of people. From my perspective, when speech incites violence or hatred against another group of people, that's not free speech.
Nowadays, because of the context, because of the situation that we're living in, ensuring that speech doesn't lead to violence is really important. I think that a lot of times, cultivating healthy communities, whether it's local advocacy, parents, professional or society in general, it requires not just having these debates about what exactly is free speech, but really about investing more resources and energy in creating tools that allow us to create safe spaces for folks. Once you have a safe space where people feel protected, and there's rules that each community is able to create for themselves, you know what's acceptable and not acceptable.
You can have free speech without hurting others rights, so I don't think it's a question of semantics. I think it's a question of shifting our culture to create safer spaces.
nash: What do you think about the control that corporations have over deciding what those parameters look like right now?
I think they're doing a horrible job. In fact, it gets me really angry because a lot of the corporations that are dominating these conversations have more resources than others. So, I think for them, really, they need to have a wakeup call. Communities have to start shifting resources into creating safe, healthy spaces. These corporations have to do that as well. It's kind of like diversity and inclusion, right? Corporations may have diversity and inclusion initiatives but that doesn’t mean they really cause change or really care. Same for other areas. It feels as though the safety of people and community health is always the last thing they consider.
So, I think that if they're going to be leaders. If they're creating these tools, or spaces, that they want so many people to use, they have a social responsibility to make sure that what they're offering is not going to harm society. That it's going to protect society. So, I think it's really about them readjusting where and how they're spending resources. Obviously, it's a complex question like it's a complex problem, but it's not impossible. In fact, it's very, very, possible. But, it requires intent and resources.
nash: Are there steps that we as folks engaged with technology the way we are—and in the technology space with the intent to empower communities and users—should be taking to help reclaim that power for the users and for communities, rather than leaving those decisions to be made within the silos of corporate power?
I mean, more and more people, rightfully so, are pushing for more community-owned infrastructures. Ideas on what that will look like are really diverse, and it's really going to depend on the community. Some folks will advocate for mesh networks, others will advocate for alternatives to Facebook and Twitter.
I really think it's up to the community to decide what that looks like. We need to start brainstorming along with these communities, and finding ways to shift how we've done tech. In the past, a lot of folks kind of had an idea, and then they started working on the idea, and then whoever used that tool, or not, that was the end of it. I think now we really have to—especially if we care about movements and the users right to privacy and security—we really need to start working more hand in hand with not just users, but specific communities, to basically help them and empower them with options of what they can use. And, also, empower them to make decisions for themselves. That's a really hard shift. I feel like in some ways we're going towards that direction, but it's going to take a kind of reprogramming of how we do things. There are so many things baked into that—power structures and how we relate to the world, and how others relate to us. I do think that investing more in brainstorming, in conjunction with communities, of what the possibilities are, is a really good first step.
nash: Some in the platform moderation community are looking to committees that would decide what is acceptable. We should obviously be exploring many different kinds of ideas. Still, I get concerned with the idea that a committee of folks who might exist and move around the world in one context will be making decisions that will affect folks in completely different contexts that they might not be able to relate with. Do you have thoughts on that strategy?
It's a really broad question, and it's hard because I think there are different situations that require different measures. But what I would say is 'localize, localize, localize'. If you have moderators that are looking over content, you have to make sure you have a variety of moderators from different cultural backgrounds, different languages, different socioeconomic backgrounds, so they really understand what's happening.
This problem requires a lot more investment, and understanding that the world is very diverse. You can't just solve it with one thing, so that means investing in the actual communities that you're serving. Using India as an example—India is a country that has multiple languages, multiple groups. That means that your moderation group, or your employees that you hire to do moderation, are probably going to have to be plentiful and just as diverse. The bigger tech companies may realize how much money actually is required to solve the problem, and may not feel ready to do that. But the problem is that while they're questioning what to do, or coming up with what they think is a simple solution to a very complex problem, it's going to impact more and more humans.
nash: I get concerned that we won't be able to move in that direction and not create a scenario where only Facebook or Twitter have the funds to execute these schemes effectively. That we'll set up guidelines that say you must do x or y, and then in doing so we inadvertently lock in Facebook and Twitter as the only platforms that can ever exist, because they're the only ones with the funds to comply effectively.
Like I said, it's a very complex problem. You know, when the Internet first started, it was almost like tons and tons of small communities everywhere that weren't necessarily connected to other folks around the world. Then we moved to this phase where we are now. On these large global platforms like Facebook and Twitter and Instagram where we're connected globally. I can find anybody in the world through Facebook. I think that we're going to start seeing a shift to more local groups again and mesh networks. Or, whatever that may be for your community.
I think a lot of these companies are going to see a decrease in users. Lots of people in my life that don't work in tech are ready. They're just overwhelmed with the use of these platforms because it really has impacted their real human interactions. They're looking for ways to really connect to the communities that they're part of. That doesn't mean that you won't be able to connect to folks you know across the globe, but communities can mean many different things. Communities can mean the people that live in your neighborhood, or it could be colleagues that are interested in the same topic that you're interested in.
The issue is that it's a more complex problem than just Facebook or Twitter, and honestly it really just requires rethinking how we are bringing people together. How are we creating safe spaces? How are we defining community? How do you bring them together? How do you make sure they're okay? It's a rethinking. The Internet's not that old. Right? And so it's not surprising that in like 2020, I think we're in 2020, that we're starting to reconfigure how we actually want that to impact our society.
nash: I really appreciate your thoughtfulness here. Do you have any final words you would like to offer?
This is really an important time for everybody to get involved in their communities. I just see how tired people are. And we really need to build more capacity. So, whatever people can do. If they're interested in supporting an open Internet where people are secure and protected they really really really need to start supporting the folks that are doing work, because people are really really tired and we need to build capacity, not just in existing communities but we have to build capacity where capacity doesn't exist. Going back to what you were saying before about platform accountability. Creating a group is not going to solve it. We need to invest in people and invest in people that can help us shift culture. That's it.
nash: thank you, so much.
from Deeplinks https://ift.tt/2xyofji
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Expert: Leading a double life When my partner, Barbara, first opened an account on Facebook, she used it in a way that most people in Yankeedom use it. Her network was an eclectic assortment of family, current and former workmates, new and old friends, neighbors and relatives living in other parts of the country. Most of what was posted on this account were pictures of kids, dogs and kitty cats, vacations, dinner outings, jokes – nothing too controversial. Like most members of Yankeedom, religion and politics were off limits. However, there was a kind of politically unconscious assumption operating that liberal values prevailed and that somehow the Democratic Party embodied those values. I nicknamed her Facebook account the “Suzy Cream Cheese” account after the Mothers of Invention’s album because it only dealt with surface preoccupations. As the most recent US presidential primaries heated up and people took sides about Hillary, Bernie and Jill Stein, the Suzy Cream Cheese page started to be “not nice”. The political unconscious became conscious. The assumption was that all women – in the name of feminism – should vote for Hillary. My partner thought this was a very shallow understanding of feminism and posted an article she wrote that was published in a number of online radical newsletters titled, “Feminism is Bigger Than Gender: Why I’ll Be Happy in Hell Without Hillary.” Oh dear. After she posted that article on Facebook, she got the cold shoulder and lost a couple of friends. Around that time she opened up a second “political” Facebook account and started adding to it a whole new group of far-left friends and acquaintances. She continued posting “suitable for family viewing” comments with her Suzy Cream Cheese account while posting and responding to socialist and communist posts on her political account. The Two Faces of Facebook Neither Barbara nor I are sociologists of social media or specifically of Facebook, so what follows is experiential. However, we do know a thing or two about how capitalist institutions operate in general and Facebook is no exception. The primary purpose of Facebook is to sell ad space to marketers. But how do you reach the Yankee public? You make it easy for Yankees to set up individual accounts so that Yankees can do what we do best—talk about the micro world of family, dogs and friends. In the process, hopefully people will purchase some of the products or services touted in the ads. Facebook has also made it possible for individuals to join groups and set up pages that then allow them to place ads to publicize their group or organization. For Facebook, reading groups, hobbies and support groups are fine. But Facebook has encountered a problem that many other capitalist institutions have. The problem is that you can set up the conditions for selling your products, but you can’t control people’s motivation for buying the product, (joining a group or setting up a political page) or what they will do with the product (what kind of group they will form). Facebook could even tolerate political groups. But the political imagination of Facebook consists of Republicans and Democrats. What Facebook had not counted on is the proliferation of political groups that exist outside both parties. As most of you know, there are many anarchist groups, Leninist groups, social democrats and even council communist groups. On the right there are all sorts of nationalist and fascists groups. It is safe to say that Facebook, as a capitalist institution, does not want to host these groups but until recently has not been able to do anything about it. Planning Beyond Capitalism Meets Suzy Cream Cheese Facebook Six years ago Barbara and I co-founded an organization called Planning Beyond Capitalism. The name pretty much says what we are up to. As an anti-establishment organization our main problem was, and still is, outreach. We stumbled and bumbled our way with the help of some anti-establishment social media whizzes who convinced us we could reach a lot more people through placing ads on Facebook. Facebook calls it “boosting”. At first, we were skeptical because the language used in placing an ad on Facebook seemed to have nothing to do with politics. They were ads for businesses. They encouraged us to “pick the right brand” and “target our audience” for best “market return”. We weren’t a business and we weren’t a non-profit. The best category we could find was “community organization”. One of the things we do on Planning Beyond Capitalism is to select one article from a left-wing news source and write one post and commentary each day. We call this “Capitalist News Interpreted”. We publish these posts daily on Facebook, but don’t “boost” them. But every couple of months or so we write a longer article, in which we make an analysis of world events, mostly in the United States, from the perspective of our organization. We put these in the category of Perspectives. Over the course of two or three years we found four or five political newsletters in which to publish our perspectives. In addition, we decided to “boost” those perspectives on Facebook. Our pattern was to boost our perspective for one week for the cost of $30.00 to run for one week. This money came out of our own pockets. We were able to select our demographics – age, gender, interests – and we could post it to almost any country in the world. In selecting our audiences when we first started boosting our posts, the choices of “anarchism” and “socialism” were available for us to select. Typically, in a single week we reached about ten thousand people – with a ratio of people in that audience of people who “liked” our perspective from about 20% to 33%. The number of “shares” in a week ranged from 75 to about 250 depending on the article. In the process of doing this, we began hearing from people in other parts of the world. Some of those people then began to write for us. We were pretty amazed that Facebook approved of virtually all our perspectives in 2016 and 2017 despite our anti Democratic Party, anti-capitalist slant. Here are some of our titles: No Pink Wooly Caps for Me Open Letter to the Sandernistas: The Political Revolution Continues – Hearts, Bodies and Souls Planning Beyond Capitalism meets Big Brother Facebook Things began to change for us on Facebook when I published an article on April 1st of this year claiming the Democratic Party was worse than the Republican Party for 90% of the population. After we posted a link to it on our Facebook page we tried to boost it. Greater of Two Evils: Why the Democratic Party is Worse than the Republican Party for 85% of the U.S. Population Facebook rejected our ad and we contested that rejection. They said it was sensationalistic, involved hate speech and promoted violence. We contested this rejection and after two arguments from us, won our appeal. We ran the ad for two weeks because of its popularity. It reached 38,000 people, had many hundreds of shares and we gained about 100 new followers. The next article we published was written by an Iraqi comrade of ours living as a citizen in Russia. The article was about why Russians are upset with Americans. Why Russians are Upset With Americans – Seen Through the Eyes of an Iraqi This ad was again disapproved by Facebook but for different reasons: it was “political”. We contested this as well. Below is our argument: We have been boosting posts on FB for 2 years. Every single one of them has political content. Why is this particular one being singled out? However, this is the first article that we’ve published about Russia, written by someone living in Russia. We believe that you are not authorizing this ad because it is a favorable account of the Russian people, which does not conform to the Democratic Party’s anti-Russian ideology. This article was written by a Russian citizen and is written from his own observations and viewpoint. Furthermore, his sources are documented and it is neither sensationalistic nor violent. We are not advocating for Russian foreign policy. We are talking about average Russian citizens. If you read the article, you would see that your response is exactly the reasons Russians are upset with Americans. Their experiences are suppressed, while we maintain the stereotypes of them as in the cartoon image that leads the article. This, to us, constitutes blatant discrimination. Facebook’s response was a boilerplate line about what constitutes a political post. Their policy about political ads had changed as of May 7th, 2018. It implied that their disapproval had nothing to do with its content. It was because the category was “political”. We were told that in order to consider having our ad approved, we had to register as a political organization. In order to do this we needed to: * Be citizens of the United States * Provide proof of citizenship * Provide a residential address * Provide a drivers license number * Provide a Social Security number All this – simply to place a political ad. Doesn’t this sound like we are registering to be investigated by the FBI or CIA? Oh, no that’s just left wing paranoia. Further, they said it would take up to six weeks to verify this and to approve our ad. But not to worry, they would delete all our information once it checked out. As the author of the article on Russia, Jamal pointed out his other two articles that had been accepted by Facebook were far more political than the one they just rejected. But that was before their change of policy. Jamal rightfully pointed out that the rejected article was more historical, sociological and cultural than political. However, the upper middle class honchos of Facebook, having taken one class in political science in the United States, cannot tell the difference between sociology, political economy, and culture. Their formula is: Russia = political = bad America = Democratic Party = good To paraphrase an old country tune, “Take this job and shove it”, we told Facebook to “take your political registration and shove it”. No, there is no “Iron Curtain” in the US. That is for Russians. Our Analysis of Facebook We think it is reasonable to suspect that Facebook wants to get rid of its “political underground”, the groups that exist beyond the two party system. Why? For one thing people at both extremes of the political spectrum are likely to buy the products that are advertised on their pages. The second reason is that our ads are chump change for them. Getting rid of us will cost them close to nothing in revenue. The third reason is political. Facebook, like most media institutions, is committed to the Democratic Party. Cleaning its house of “Fake News” (the news and opinions of the socialist or fascist sides of the spectrum) will steer people back to reasonable choices like the Democratic Party. It is our belief that this change in policy requiring organizations like ours to register as political groups has occurred in 2018, in part, because this is an election year. There are other indicators Facebook is closing ranks. In selecting an audience for our article, we noticed the choices given under political interests on the left, the furthest left available to choose was “very liberal”. There was no socialist choice even though a self-proclaimed socialist ran as a Democratic in the 2016 primaries. If anyone reading this has recommendations for alternatives to Facebook that would allow us to place political ads to broaden our reach, please contact us. It’s time for those of us on the far left to find an alternative to Big Brother Facebook. • First published at Planning Beyond Capitalism http://clubof.info/
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WHAT WOULD WONDER WOMAN DO?...about the Westboro Baptist Church (Originally posted Feb. 11, 2016)
The vitriol with which they spew their venomous zealotry has made them a national household name, and rightfully so. That’s right, the Westboro Baptist Church is at it again. They claimed to be going to San Francisco last weekend, for the 50th annual SuperBowl, and pledged to picket last Saturday morning’s book signing of Square Zair Pair, A new children’s book by Journalist of The Year award winner Jase Peeples. The writer received multiple threats of picket. However, one can’t help but wonder...Why a children’s book? Well, I think it is pretty clear that the ‘Church,’ which has been deemed a hate group by both the Anti-Defamation League and the Southern Poverty Law Center, has proven that they are not above much in this world. Founder Fred Phelps was first brought national attention in 1998 during his picket of the funeral of Matthew Shepard, a Wyoming man who was killed for being gay. The church’s fire and brimstone antics have continued even after Fred Phelps’ excommunication and subsequent death. Matter of fact, their picketing of funerals and LGBTQ events has become happenstance in America. Sadly, they vowed to turn their attention to children last weekend. Mostly because Peeples’ Zair Square Pair delivers a message about the importance of acceptance and diversity, and that is a message, in the words of the WBC, that “God Hates.” I personally come from a strict Pentecostal Christian upbringing. So, the group has both fascinated and confounded me for a very long time. As with everything in life that confounds me, I continue to pose the same question. Today I ask, in the case of the Westboro Baptist Church: What Would Wonder Woman Do?
Both are creatures of myth and story (yes, I said it). Both are products of divine birth. Both were gifted with divine powers. Both charged by the almighty(s) to show the world a better way. If you’re wondering who I’m talking about it’s Jesus of Nazareth (Jesus Christ) and Diana of Themyscira (aka Wonder Woman). Many aren’t aware of the clear and direct Messiah-like parallels of her story, but I’m here to tell you that they are there. Or at least they were there for the character’s first 70 or so years prior to DC Comics’ ‘New 52’ revamp...
Dr. William Moulton Marston III’s depiction of Wonder Woman’s divine birth, but that’s fodder for another article. Today I’m going to concentrate on the character’s first 70 years with an emphasis on Dr. Marston’s original creation. Because ultimately, that’s the source material and what I believe for what Wonder Woman was intended. In my humble opinion, the ideals of Jesus Christ and Wonder Woman are complimentary and very near to be equally parallel. Since the WBC has claimed to follow the teachings of Jesus Christ, I figured I would take their most popular three word slogan “GOD HATES FAGS” and utilize it as a template, to compare: a) their Lord and savior’s message, b) Wonder Woman’s message and c) how the church falls in line with said doctrine. All in an effort to lead me to an answer of ‘what Wonder Woman would do’. Okay,...here we go!
FIRST WORD: ‘GOD’ – Who is this God in the bible that the Westboro Church follows? The Christian faith says that God is three in one: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. So, when referring to Jesus Christ we are also referring to God. Well, the bible also gave a very clear and direct definition of who God is. In 1 John 4:8 says that “...God is Love.” (Siri, create a Reminder for me to thank John for being so thoughtful and breaking it down for us). Ok, so how does the bible actually define love? 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 says that, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” By these definitions, God is love and love is exhibiting goodness and kindness...Seems pretty simple to me, right? Dr. Marston also seemed to have similar views.
In the previous photo, Marston’s Wonder Woman proved to the personifications of Love and Wisdom (Aphrodite & Athena), that she was worthy to have people obey her, due to her mastery of love and wisdom. Essentially, in one panel, Marston made a clear statement that Diana being of service to love and wisdom was the prerequisite for her to lead. His character was literally governed by the two ideals, and was commanded to lead with love and wisdom. Seeing this panel really blew my mind on so many levels. Those who I personally consider to be some of the greatest and most memorable writers of Wonder Woman (Perez, Jimenez, Rucka, Simone, Badower, etc.) continued to expand upon Marston’s idea of Wonder Woman being a creature governed by love and wisdom. It’s very clear, to me and in my opinion, that both God and Wonder Woman have love as their foundation. I have yet to see a display of that kind of love (patience, kindness, etc.) from the Westboro Baptist Church. As a matter of fact, I’m not sure if they are aware, but the Westboro Baptist Church has exhibited the equal and exact opposite of every single description Corinthians gave of what love is supposed to be. Especially with the word ‘hate’ being at the nexus of their most popular slogan. Which brings me to the next word in today’s template for examination...
SECOND WORD: ‘HATES’ – I can’t blame the Westboro Baptist Church for concentrating on this particular word. Hate is actually mentioned often in the bible, and they do a very great job of listing many of the mentions of hate in the good book. There is a definite through line of ideas about hate weaved through the holy text. Though ultimately, if you ‘hate’ and claim to be a follower of Christ then you, “...shall not inherit the kingdom of God.” Galatians 50: 20-21. This passage is conveniently left out of the Westboro Baptist Church’s list of hate mentions. God (Jesus) also told us himself (directly) that one of the greatest commandments was to love our neighbor as ourselves, and John 3:14- 15 says that, “...Anyone who hates another brother or sister is really a murderer at heart.” And aren’t we all brothers and sisters in the Lord? So, if I’m correct, God pretty much sees hate as a sin, because “Vengance is MINE sayeth the Lord.” Romans 12:19.
It seems to me that Wonder Woman continues to reflect similar principles of loving everyone regardless. Marston exemplified his intention with Wonder Woman when he has her saying things like, “...keep your hands extended to all in friendliness but never holding the gun of persecution and intolerance.” I personally don’t see any kind of ambivalence there. It’s very cut and dry; always be friendly and don’t persecute or be intolerant. Three words sum it up for me: Don’t hate people. That’s were Wonder Woman seemed to stand in my eyes. It’s a stance that once again parallels what I’ve garnered to be the bible’s. Unfortunately, that doesn’t seem to be the interpretation of the Westboro Baptist Church with their “God Hates Everyone” slogans. Moving on...
FAGS – This is not a word I would use in mixed company. I believe it to be common knowledge that usage of the word ‘fag’ is clearly one meant to be derogatory towards homosexuals. Since today I’m comparing Jesus Christ and Wonder Woman (a comparison I know for which I’m probably going to catch a little heat), I’ll defer to what each of them has said in their books. Because I feel it is always better to get information ‘straight from the horse’s mouth’. Otherwise, you run the risk of playing the telephone game. First, let’s look at Diana. She was always an advocate for all people. In the previous panel she talked about learning love and respect for human rights. Since Marston did spend some time as a Hollywood writer of sorts, and he was consistently liberal with his views (especially on relationships...*cough-cough*), I can only speculate that he was in support of LGBTQ rights. Some of the greats expanded upon this idea as well. Perez introduced a gay couple with whom Diana spent time, Jimenez reinforced this, and Rucka eluded to a possible gay relationship. But it was Jason Badower who had Diana come right out and say the obvious. In Sensation Comics Featuring Wonder Woman issue #48, she says to Superman, “Clark, my country is all women. To us, it’s not ‘gay’ marriage...Its just marriage.” Jesus Christ was also very good at articulating his stance on gays. He said....oh wait. That’s right. He didn’t say anything at all. Well, I guess that’s that.
I can’t help but notice that the WBC continually puts special emphasis on the word ‘fag’ and systematically adds it to the majority of their phrases describing sinners. Again, just to clarify, they do not attribute this singularly as a derogatory adjective describing gays, but to most things describing sin... curious. My guess is that if I had the magic lasso and wrapped it around Shirley Phelps, she would reveal that my longtime theory is true. My theory is that Fred Phelps was actually a closet homosexual, who in the last year of his life started coming to terms with how harmful it is to hang on to hate. Then when he decided a love based approached was more appropriate, and revealed this new discovery and updated philosophy to Shirley Phelps she excommunicated him from the church in August of 2013. I can just see the knee jerk reaction someone would have when being on the receiving end of that information. I can only imagine how painful it would be to have the foundation of your entire value system be pulled out from beneath you in one fail swoop. Denial via excommunication would be a totally logical and instinctual action in these circumstances. Yes, this is probably the most obvious answer, because it has been proven time and time again, that those who dig in their heels the deepest, and are the strongest advocates against homosexuality; it is those are who are usually struggling with it the most. So, yeah I think that the Westboro Baptist Church is based on the beliefs of a closet homosexual. Why else would “the lady doeth protest too much?” But again, it is just a theory and I could be way off here. Regardless, it’s plain to see that once again, the ideals of Jesus Christ and Wonder Woman appear to line up almost perfectly. While the Westboro Baptist Church’s do not.
So what I’ve learned here today is that in my eyes, the Westboro Baptist Church doesn’t seem to line up with the principles of Jesus Christ. Yet, they are principles Wonder Woman seems to continually parallel. I find that it is unfortunate that a pagan seems to embrace and uphold the principles of Jesus Christ better than a group that claims to serve him. We have seen the group behave unapologetically offensive, express hate, and insight anger and discord in people. So, what would Wonder Woman do? In the previous, we saw that Wonder Woman is of service to love and wisdom via her greatest weapon: truth. I realize that we don’t all serve the same God, but something tells me that isn’t the case in this situation and that there is a clear and identifiable inauthenticity going on here. I think that Wonder Woman, although always prepared for battle and having the power to do what is necessary, would see through the veil of inauthenticity and would first extend her hand in friendliness. Gail Simone had a fantastic quote coming straight from Wonder Woman’s mouth that exemplified this: “Don’t kill if you can wound, Don’t wound if you can subdue, Don’t subdue if you can pacify, and don’t raise your hand at all until you’ve first extended it.” I think that Wonder Woman would always look for truth in the situation. That she would inspire conversation and debate, very much the way that Rucka depicted her in her Reflections book tour. I think that Wonder Woman would see through this hate, and would use Aikido like principles via her greatest weapon of truth to redirect this hate into love. But do not ever take Diana’s mastery of love and wisdom to be a sign of weakness. Love is never weakness, it is strength and power personified that always wins over hate and war. The Westboro Baptist church proved that when they didn’t show last Saturday to Jase Peeples’ book signing, as reported by theHuffington Post. Jase had organized an anti-Hate rally to combat the ‘church’s message of hate with one of love and acceptance. Peeples wrote on his invitation that he wanted to combat their message of hate with one of acceptance and love, and was prepared to engage in actual open conversation. The church of hate knew what was in store for them. They knew this was a loosing battle because like each and every time #LoveWins!
You can check out and purchase Peeples’ book on Amazon and a big thanks to the Westboro Baptist Church for giving the publicity to the book and helping to spread the message of diversity, acceptance, and love.
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How ‘Legally Blonde’ Hinged On One Ugly Gay Stereotype
It could’ve been Elle Woods’ chirpy resilience in the face of Harvard snobbery, the universality of the “bend and snap” or how she saved Cameron Diaz from buying that absolutely abhorrent angora sweater, but for whatever reasonablenes “Legally Blonde” punched me at the right time.
I nearly instantaneously identified with the infinitely quotable comedy of law corrects, learning shadows of myself in Elle( Reese Witherspoon) she was upending the expectations of what a blonde “mustve been”, as I was unsuccessfully attempting to integrate pink into my strict secondary school dress system. The “be yourself/ girl power” takeaway word apparently meant sufficient to yours truly to follow Elle’s escapades for two increasingly inauspicious sequels, a Broadway show and even a neighborhood Kidz Theater production of the musical at the ripe age of 24.
Not all heroes wear last-place season’s Prada shoes, OK?
This week tags the 15 th commemoration of “Legally Blonde” and, like any dutiful devotee, I established it my mission to break out that DVD I plagiarize from my older sister’s best friend( this provides as my official defense) and rewatch the movie. I still laughter at many of the things my middle-school-self determined fascinating Elle’s suggestion to Selma Blair’s character to “try not to look so constipated” but underneath the cotton-candy-colored aesthetic, I was confronted with something better ominou. For a movie that appealed so heavily to this preteen lesbian boy, it sure did traffic in homosexual stereotypes.
While the film has been rightfully defied for its flimsy feminist principles Elle’s knowledge of whisker treatments, instead of legal instances, for example, is what assures her the big win how “Legally Blonde” participates with its gay attributes deserves more examination. Holding Elle’s climactic jubilation in court depends upon outing a closeted consortium boy on the sit, this seems worth noting on its anniversary.
Ah yes, the pond boy, Enrique Salvatore( Greg Serano ). He’s the lynchpin in Elle’s defense case with fitness guru Brooke Windham( Ali Larter ), who’s been accused of assassinating her husband. As the primary witness for the department of public prosecutions, Enrique claims that he and Brooke were taking part in an clandestine thing with plans to deceptions the recently deceased for all he’s merit. During a recess, an impatient Elle ascertains herself waiting behind Enrique at the water fountain, tapping her toe in thwarting. He responds to her twitch with a now-classic retort:
( Mind you, he extradites this cable while wearing the sparkliest red-faced and dark-green button-down shirt in recorded biography, boasting an image of the Blessed virgin on the back .)
Putting those Harvard Law School skills of deduction to measure, our budding young advocate realizes that he couldn’t ought to have having an thing with her patron because, duh, he’s gay.
“Gay souls know designers, ” she tells the team matter-of-factly. “Straight mortals don’t.”
Armed with this information, Elle’s romantic interest, Emmett( Luke Wilson ), tricks Enrique into outing himself on the stay where you are exposing his boyfriend’s reputation is Chuck, a statement he immediately regrets manufacturing. Of track, Chuck is also in the courtroom and tornadoes out before weeping, “You bitch.”
** Elle and Emmett smile at one another **
Watch the stage below:
Omigod, you guys , I don’t even know where to begin.
Perhaps I was so dazzled by the pink-fueled theme of empowerment or Ali Larter’s devastating courtroom lewks ( clearly the latter) that this blatantly problematic representation of a homosexual humanity barely registered.
For some reason, I quickly accepted and at the least partly internalized that gay servicemen a) must have an encyclopedic knowledge of fad, b) hide their sexuality for self-serving concludes, and c) exist to be either sassy or sexualized.
Brooke eventually is acknowledged that she applied Enrique because of how good he searches in a Speedo. Noting Cher tapes in the reserve home is another accusation introduced against him in the scorching conversation over the puddle boy’s virility.
Even if you did identify with these stereotypically gay traits, expending the film’s reasoning, there is no other possible reason why someone might mask their sexual orientation other than to addition traction in court. Yes, he was lying on the hold. Yes, he’s an obstacle to Elle’s exultant trajectory. Yes, this film is a total camp fest. But the absence of any sense or shame for outing person in such a public way is gravely cringeworthy in retrospect.
People choose to remain in the closet in certain spaces for myriad rationales apart from sassily stepping on Elle Woods’ toes, like workplace discrimination, violence against LGBT parties, access to dwelling, family pushes, etc. The only insight “weve received” into Enrique’s inner life comes from how distraught his boyfriend is when he tries to cover up their relationship. Moving coming out funny is a sensitive task, especially within the context of a campy rom-com geared towards straight audiences.
Compounding these problems is, of course, the depiction of the character’s hasten, which is played for pranks( meet costume description above ), while also reinforcing racist tropes about Latinos being duplicitous and untrustworthy.
These topics were simply reinforced by the stage adjustment, “Legally Blonde: The Musical, ” which debuted on Broadway six years old after the original movie. The kitty boy’s testament was, in fact, expanded into an entire chant titled “There! Right There!( Gay Or European ?), ” in which the company offers reasons why he’s one or the other.
Lyrical sample: “Look at that brown, that hue skin/ Look at the killer influence he’s in/ Look at that slightly stubbly chin/ Oh please he’s gay, wholly gay.”
So what are we to construct of Elle, the pool boy, his public outing and “Legally Blonde” 15 year later? Although the gay dog subplot in “Legally Blonde 2: Red White& Blonde” might recommend otherwise, illustrations of homosexuality on screen have thankfully progressed since the movie’s handout. Cinemas of that era were rife with problematic depictings of lesbian parties. Seem no further than Witherspoon’s next commercial stumble, “Sweet Home Alabama, ” to find another speciman of extreme insensitivity to the LGBT experience. In a drunken violence, her reference outs a childhood friend at a barroom surrounded by his closest pals. Gay beings in these movies don’t exist on their own terms, but instead for the aim of advancing the journey of an Elle Woods or a Melanie Smooter( yes, that’s seriously her character’s appoint in “Sweet Home Alabama” ).
Since Elle hurled her graduation hat in the air, we have become less willing to accept these portrayings of LGBT life, as the consequences of marginalization are more acute than ever. When I watched “Legally Blonde” for the first time in middle school, I was a 12 -year-old closet case ashamed of all the ways I might be different than the sons who didn’t drag their parents to Reese Witherspoon star vehicles on the weekend. How could I understand the implications of a persona like Enrique, when the as of every pun on screen was what I so deeply horror in myself? Now, as a proud gay husband willing to expose his love of some “chick flick” 15 years later, I refuse to accept these representations because “Legally Blonde” and its gathering deserve so much better.
The strongest happening about these cinemas is, and will always be, Elle Woods. But she can only shoulder so much better slipshod plotting and simplistic characterizations before these trouble recognises start to detract from why this universe was attractive in the first place. To truly honor “Legally Blonde, ” we should celebrate where the film succeeded and acknowledge where it fell short, because whoever said you can’t experience a movie while at the same time being criticalwas seriously disturbed.
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A few weeks ago, Dries Buytaert, founder of the popular open-source CMS Drupal, asked Larry Garfield, a prominent Drupal contributor and long-time member of the Drupal community, to leave the Drupal project. Why did he do this? He refuses to say. A huge furor has erupted in response not least because the reason clearly has much to do with Garfields unconventional sex life.
More specifically, Garfield is into BDSM. Even more specifically, hes a member of the Gor community, an outr subculture of an outr subculture, one built around a series of thirty-odd books by John Norman which are, basically, John Carter of Mars meets Fifty Shades of Grey. Essentiallyas I understand ita community who are interested in, and/or participate in, elaborate (consensual!) sexual subjugation fantasies, in which men are inherently superior to women. I know all this because of Garfields lengthy public response to his ouster, self-deprecatingly titled TMI about me:
Yes, I am one of those people Despite the total lack of evidence that alternative lifestyle cultures offer any harm to anyone, there is still a great deal of prejudice and bigotry regarding it someone, I do not know who, stumbled across my profile on a private, registration-required website for alternative-lifestyle people that information made it to the Community Working Group (CWG), who concluded there was no code of conduct violation present for [them] to take any action on in my first contact with Dries, he asked me to step down from Drupal Drupal has been the cornerstone of my career for the past nearly 12 years Dries wouldnt budge on me leaving, including making it clear that it wasnt an option, but an instruction informing me that Id been summarily dismissed from my position as track chair and as a speaker at DrupalCon, per [my] conversation with Dries here I am, being bullied, harassed, and excluded because of my personal activities, which I dont even publicize much less advocate for in tech circles.
Buytaert (who is also co-founder and CTO of Acquia, a Drupal platform which has raised ~$175 million over the years and has been struggling to IPO for a few years now) retorts:
when a highly-visible community members private views become public, controversial, and disruptive for the project, I must consider the impact all people are created equally. [sic] I cannot in good faith support someone who actively promotes a philosophy that is contrary to this any association with Larrys belief system is inconsistent with our projects goals I recused myself from the Drupal Associations decision [to dismiss Garfield from his conference role] Many have rightfully stated that I havent made a clear case for the decision I did not make the decision based on the information or beliefs conveyed in Larrys blog post.
Sigh. This sad mess is something of a perfect storm of Code of Conduct conflicts. It is one which raises a number of interesting questions. It also raises several quite boring ones, so lets get them out of the way:
Does this matter? (Isnt this just prurient clickbait?)
Is it OK for an open-source community to ban/ostracize a member for being involved in BDSM, or other forms of unconventional but consensual adult sexual behavior?
More generally, is it OK for an open-source community to ban/ostracize a member purely because their belief system perhaps better described as a complicated fantasy milieu in which they happen to spend their personal time was doxxed?
These questions are boring not because they are unimportant, but because the answers are so obvious: yes (no), hell no, and hell no.
Ill unpack the first: open-source communities/projects are crucially important to many peoples careers and professional lives cf the cornerstone of my career so who they allow and deny membership to, and how their codes of conduct are constructed and followed, is highly consequential.
I really, really hope I dont have to unpack the two hell nos. But in case I do, let me quote this excellent blog post from Nadia Eghbal:
In the past, Dries mightve kicked Larry out because BDSM is a threat to family values. Today, leaders like Dries kick Larry out because BDSM is a threat to gender equality. Unfortunately, the end result is the same Beliefs are not actions. We cannot persecute people for what they believe, no matter how much it disgusts us, and simultaneously maintain a free and open democracy If diversity is our dogma, call me spiritual, not religious. I still pray for the same things as you, but I wont be at the witch trials.
Which is brilliantly put and I hope settles the previous questions. However. The Garfield Situation also raises two questions which are far more complex and interesting:
Under what circumstances, and via what kind of due process, is it OK for communities to publicly condemn people for secret reasons?
Is it OK to ban/ostracize community members for (legal) behavior which occurs entirely outside the community?
Obviously sometimes organizational decisions have to be made based on information that must remain confidential, for legal or ethical reasons. But if youre making such a decision, you really have to do so in the right way. What is the right way?
Probably something close to the opposite of what Buytaert and the Drupal Association did. Even if their decision was correct, which currently seems at best suspect, their complete lack of process transparency, and Buytaerts vaguely worded hinting-without-really-saying-anything statement, makes it very hard to have any faith in it.
Their accusations are so vague nonexistent non-accusations, really that Dries & co. could surely have told the community substantially more (indeed, anything) about Garfields problematic behavior, if any, without revealing sensitive information. For instance, they could have said theyd received reports of threats, harassment, or coercion by Garfield, if any such reports existed. They have said nothing of the sort.
(For what its worth, a well-informed source of mine reports: Its worth noting that a handful of women who worked with Larry did not report harassment or abuse from him in the workplace. We cant know for sure if he committed offenses, but if there were allegations or even rumors of his mistreatment of women we would be having a very different conversation right now.)
They could also have cited which elements of the Drupal Code of Conduct he violated, if any. They have not done so but theyve expelled him anyhow. Isnt that Code of Conduct, and its associated Conflict Resolution Policy, supposed to be what dictates the rules of behavior and interaction in the community? Doesnt overruling that written code with arbitrary decisions made for secret reasons reveal that in practice it is an irrelevance with no actual weight or importance?
I reached out to Buytaert in the hope of clarification; he did not respond.
Its hard not to get the impression, from the little that we do know, and the manner in which it has been miscommunicated, that whats actually deemed unacceptable here is that Garfields kink has spilled outside of his personal life i.e. that his real sin is that he was doxxed. Which, as noted, is firmly in hell no territory.
It is of course entirely possible that this impression is incorrect, and that Buytaert and the Drupal Association have done the right thing. But they have offered no evidence, no arguments, and no reasons for their decision. It seems obvious to me that they have a moral obligation to their community to do so. You cant ban people without at least sketching the outline of what it is they did wrong. Just trust us is not enough
especially since it also seems possible that the CTO and co-founder of a heavily funded pre-IPO company has participated in expelling a man from what his been his professional community for the last twelve years, ignoring that communitys own Code of Conduct and Conflict Resolution Policy, because it was decided he was guilty of, essentially, thoughtcrime; that no real accusations have been made, and no allegations of problematic behavior have been cited, because none such exist.
A third plausible scenario, based on the tea leaves of Buytaerts phrase actively promotes, is that Garfield has been banned for expressing views outside the Drupal community which are deemed unacceptable inside. This is not a new issue in the open-source world: I wrote about it last year, in the context of Curtis Yarvin and Opalgate:
Should communities accept people who hold repugnant views, as long as they dont express them within that community? Or should they be expelled, because its assumed that their views influence their community work in a negative way, or because their presence makes other people feel unsafe?
Personally, both answers make me feel deeply uneasy. Humans are messy, complex, and contradictory; human interactions are that squared; the results are so complex and context-sensitive that they often need to be judged on a case-by-case basis, rather than by any hard-and-fast rule.
although in those cases, the views in question were clearly expressed publicly, not privately, and were not intended as part of any BDSM fantasy world. Does that apply here? Who knows? Certainly not the Drupal community.
Its impossible to judge the Garfield situation, because all we are permitted to know is that it has been prejudged for us, by people who refuse to tell us anything about either their evidence or their decision process. It is, however, very easy to judge whether the people who have made and communicated this decision are, by the way they have done so, actually serving their community. And that answer is, once again, Im sorry to say: hell no.
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