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the-blind-assassin-12 · 4 years ago

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Pygmalion

Word Count: 2,258 (oops) Character: Sam Adams A/N: I don’t even know what to say aside from that this made me laugh at myself the entire time. Happy Birthday to everyone’s favorite rebel, and a huge shout out to everyone’s favorite custom pop artist.

(ARTIST APPRECIATION SUBMISSION)

Happy Sunday friends! And a very happy 298th birthday to the one and only dirty rotten rebel bastard, Sam Adams! This submission made me so happy because it’s SO creative and the artist is incredibly talented and absolutely deserves this spotlight. I have to admit that I was far too terrified to write a longer, period appropriate piece for Sam, but this idea pop-ed (see what i did there??) into my head and I ran with it.

So thank you to the anon who sent this submission in for @its-my-little-dumpster-fire ‘s custom Sam Adams Funkopop! And thank YOU Mrs. Dumpster-Adams, for sharing your incredible artwork with us all! The submission also mentioned the amazing illustrations that you added to your masterlist and the animated art you shared for a few of the characters- Neil in all his sparkly glory was my favorite! You astound me with your ceaseless list of talents, woman. There’s literally nothing you cannot do if you try your hand at it. So from this anon and I to you: THANK YOU FOR GIFTING US ALL WITH THIS FANTASTIC, FUN FANART. YOU ARE TALENTED. YOU ARE APPRECIATED. YOU ARE A WEALTH OF HISTORICAL INFORMATION AND OBSESSIONS, AND YOU WOULD MAKE AN EXCELLENT COLONIAL. Too bad it’s 2020...

(Would you just lookit the detail!!! My goodness.)

Pygmalion

This isn’t happening. It can’t be happening. You kept your hands at ten and two as the city lights faded, giving way to the darker country roads, your grip on the wheel so iron fisted that the bones of your knuckles were straining at your skin. It can’t be happening, because if it is then I’m crazy and I’m not crazy, so… You nodded to yourself. So it’s not happening. I’m going to look to my right and he’s not going to be there because this is not happening. Taking a deep breath to steady yourself, you exhaled slowly and turned your head towards the passenger seat, expecting - hoping- to be met with nothing but the pattern of your material interior. But instead your eyes landed first upon a pair of legs in linen trousers before scanning upwards and taking in a thigh length overcoat atop a dark waistcoat, the color of which you couldn’t be sure was from dye or dirt, accessorized with a mustard cravat. It was strange attire to see sitting in your passenger seat, but even stranger was the man wearing it. A tricorn hat that he’d been wearing was now sitting on his lap, his long hair corralled in a small tail at the base of his skull. Shit. It is happening. I am crazy. Okay. You let out a little puff of air that was part laughter, part disbelief and part surprise as you flicked your eyes back to the road.

Samuel Adams- or at least that’s who he claims to be- was sitting in your passenger seat. Either that or you were having the most vivid dream that your brain had ever conjured. You cast another sidelong glance at the man, who was gripping the handle above the window with his right hand, his left clutching the chest strap of his seatbelt. You’d had to reach across him to pull the belt down and into the lock, his earthy scent filling your nostrils as you did. Leather. Tea leaves. Gunpowder. Dirt. He smelled exactly as you always thought that he might, which briefly made you question why you’d spent so much time thinking about that, but you were distracted by his startled jump as you clicked the seatbelt into its lock. After convincing him that it was a safety measure and that you would be wearing one, too, he watched in awe as you drew your own seat belt down and pressed it into the locking device, the word ‘remarkable’ slipping from his whiskered lips in an astonished gasp. If this is a dream, I can wake myself up. Keeping one hand on the wheel, you took the other off to pinch yourself, hard, using your fingernail to bite into the fleshy part of your bicep.

“Ow.” You muttered to yourself. Okay, so it isn’t a dream. I have a founding father in my car… completely normal.

.. .. .. .. .. ..

Your day had started out just like any other; just a humdrum Sunday, which meant taking the dogs out before heading into work for the morning, and running to the grocery store since you’d been putting it off all week and all that was left at home were a few packets of Ramen that were older than the framed degree hanging above your desk. The only exception was that today happened to be Sam Adams’ 298th birthday, and since you were new to the Boston area, and since you were quite possibly the biggest American History buff in the state if not the country, you decided to head downtown to see what kind of festivities that the city had planned. The brewery was more packed than usual, as was Griffin’s Wharf, both locations offering special tours and discounts in honor of Boston’s favorite son. But you weren’t looking for a drink, and you’d already visited the wharf when you had come out to Boston looking for a place, so instead you spent the day at the State House, walking the FreedomTrail, and eventually ending up at Faneuil Hall, where the man of the hour’s likeness stood tall in bronze, surveying his city. “Happy Birthday Sam,” you said to the statue, “wish you were here so you could see all the hullabaloo the city kicked up for you today.” But you hadn’t been expecting a star to shoot across the sky at the very second that those words left your lips, and having had your fill of the city for one day, you turned to head back towards where you’d parked your car. That was when a searing flash of light came from right behind you, making you spin back around to see what had caused it.

What the he- the thought died mid word as your mouth dropped and your eyes grew to the size of the silver coins you’d seen displayed in one of the exhibits earlier that day. Blinking furiously as though the rapid opening and closing of your eyelids would change what you were seeing, you told yourself that what you were seeing couldn’t be real. And yet, the pedestal holding Mr. Adams’ statue was empty, and there was a man standing beside it that looked as though he had just stepped from the pages of one of the many history texts you kept on shelves and tables and in piles on the floor of your home. What...the...hell?

The stranger before you seemed just as stunned as you were, the overwhelmed look on his face turning to one of horrified shock as he took in the sites and sounds of the city. Oh my god. This is...this can’t be… Oh. My. God. Just as the bell from a pizza delivery man’s bicycle chimed, the colonial time traveler jumped back, one hand going to the holster on his waist, dirty fingers seeking out the pistol that hung there. Oh, that’s not good. You had no clue what was going on, where the man came from or what kind of trick this was, but you knew for certain that a colonial era gun going off in the city’s center would only make things worse.

Stepping forward, you held up your hands and approached the man like you might approach a frightened horse. “Hey there, it’s- No! No, I’m not going to hurt you, just…” You pumped your hands, heart racing as he lowered his pistol shakily. Releasing a relieved breath, you wondered how on Earth this was happening, and why on Earth it was happening to you. “There you go, easy. It’s okay.”

“Who are you, miss, and..and where...what’s…” he worriedly looked around, taking in the tall buildings, streets paved and crowded with vehicles, and bright lights. “What’s happened to Boston?”

Oh boy. I swear, the crazies really sniff me out, don’t they? But you couldn’t ignore the fact that where just moments ago there was a huge, heavy, solid bronze sculpture of your favorite founding father, there now stood an empty plinth. And a man who looked like he had never taken a shower in his existence. You told him your name, which he repeated immediately in his serious tone as though to commit it to memory. “Um...nothing’s happened to Boston per say, it’s…” you struggled to find the right words. “Do you...do you know what year it is, sir?”

“What year it is? Why of course I...it’s 1778, but I…” he looked back at the empty structure and then again at you, confusion only growing in his warm brown eyes. “Something isn’t right, something’s…something isn’t right.”

“Alright, it’s alright, d’you…” you cleared your throat. “What’s your name?”

“Samuel. Adams.” He reached up to remove the hat from his head, touching it to his chest. Beneath the hat his unkempt hair was flattened aside from the strands that hung free around his forehead. “My friends call me Sam.”

I was afraid that’s what you would say. You sighed. “Alright, Sam.” I can’t believe I’m… You suddenly realized that while the two of you had yet to garnish any attention, the fact that the Sam Adams statue had gone missing from its pedestal would not go unnoticed for much longer, and you did not want to be anywhere near it when people did notice. But I can’t just leave him here, I have to… “I can...yes, I can help you, but we can’t stay here, alright?”

He nodded eagerly, thanking you, and against your better judgement, you took his elbow in your hand and led him towards your car, planning to bring him home, let him clean up and get a good night’s rest- but that was the extent of your plans, as you decided that the rest would depend on the next few hours. This should be interesting…

.. .. .. .. .. ..

“Are you hurt?”

He hadn’t said much since climbing into your car, seemingly as shocked to be there as you were to have him there, but his question came without the skittish nervousness that had been present in his voice at first, only genuine concern in his words now. Maybe my brain is hurt, but… Another little burst of incredulous laughter burst from you as you turned your car onto your street. “Uh, no I’m,” clearing your throat you threw him what you hoped was a reassuring smile but what felt more like a hysterical grin. “I’m fine just...this is...I’m fine.”

“I thought I heard...it sounded as though you were in pain, are you certain you’re alright?”

Pulling into your driveway you fought the urge to laugh, swoon and scream all at once. “Yep, I’m...not hurt. Don’t worry.” You put the car in park and took the keys from the ignition, the sudden quiet startling him just as much as the instant roar when the engine had come to life. “Here we are, home sweet home.” You undid your seat belt, feeling his eyes on you as you did, and then reached over to open his as well.

“Oh,” he put up a hand and you froze. “May I?” There was an intrigued twinkle in his eyes behind the uncertainty and confusion that made you smile. He wants to…

“Be my guest, Sam.” You watched as he extended his pointer finger and pressed down on the red button to release the metal clasp of the restraint.

“Fascinating.” The seat belt snapped back into place and though you could tell that he was still distressed and disoriented, he chuckled in surprise as the harness retracted.

“If you think that’s fascinating, wait until you try a shower.” You winked at him and got out of the car, helping him open the handle on his side. This is insane.

“A shower?” He paused in the middle of your walkway and looked up to the night sky. “There aren’t any clouds, it isn't going to rain.”

“No that’s…” you sighed, turning your key in the lock. “Not what I meant. Just...come inside, okay?” The last thing I need is my neighbor peeking out the window to see this. He agreed, following you inside where you instructed him to wait in your living room as you searched your room for spare sweatpants and an over-sized tee that would fit his tall frame and broad shoulders, depositing the items in the bathroom before getting the water started. There’s no way he would be able to figure out modern plumbing. You chastised yourself for believing even for a second that he was the real Samuel Adams, and not some crazed costumed performer who took the man’s birthday too far. Once the water had reached a decent temperature and you’d set out towels, soap and the clothes you’d gathered, you left the bathroom and headed back out to find him hovering near your desk.

He pointed at the framed diploma as you entered the room. “I’ve never heard of this University before. Did you attend it?” Of course you hadn’t, it wasn’t founded until almost a hundred years after you… You nodded and he looked impressed. “I had my schooling at-”

“Harvard,” you said the word with him. “I know.”

He regarded you curiously, one cheek growing slightly rounded as he gave a sideways smile. “Hmm.” Hmm? What’s he… But before you could wonder what was going through his head, his long fingers closed around a small item on your desktop that made you gasp. Oh, I didn’t even think about… “What is…” He picked up the small figurine which was wearing an outfit stunningly similar to the one that he had on. “Is this...me? What is this?”

“Uh...yeah that’s um… it’s called a Pop?” You shrugged. This is so stupid. “And I uh...made it. Well I didn’t make it, I…” what am I saying? “I bought it, it looked different when I bought it, but then I customized it, you know, with paint and… um...to make it look like, yes. To make it look like you.”

He smiled again, still looking just as confused as he was when he appeared out of nowhere, but entertained and interested in seeing where that confusion would take him when it finally lifted. “Fascinating, truly.”

He set the figurine back down where he found it and crossed the room to where you stood, finally giving him a smile of your own. “If you think that’s fascinating…” You trailed off into laughter. “Come on, bathroom’s this way.”

You led him down the hallway, trying not to laugh as you heard him exclaim “An entire room just for that bath? Fascinating!”

I had a blast writing for this amazing artist and her wonderful work! If you are an artist in the Ben Barnes fandom, or if you would like to surprise an artist with a quick little drabble, send me a message or link me to the piece that you would like me to write about. Let’s show these talented folks how much we appreciate them and the beautiful things that they create!

#ben barnes fanart appreciation #ben barnes fanart #ben barnes characters #ben barnes fandom #its-my-little-dumpster-fire #mrs. dumpster-adams #sam adams #samuel adams #HBD Sam!#298 never looked so good #sam adams sons of liberty #sons of liberty fic #sort of #pygmalion

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cheappanelblog · 3 years ago

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thekytchensynk · 4 years ago

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Save the Earth (Fictober Prompt 17)

Prompt number: 17

Fanfiction Fandom: Ducktales

Rating: G

Warnings: No Warnings

Read this story on AO3

Fenton thought Huey was many things. The kid was smart, smart enough that the sciency side of Fenton’s brain could already see a bright future out there for him. He didn’t always have the world smarts to match the book smarts, but hey, who was Fenton to judge that? Wasn’t he the same? The kid was thoughtful too, seeing quick answers to immediate problems. He could get overwhelmed, he could get tunnel vision, but he was a kid. He had a lot of time to grow out of those things.

But moments like now, Fenton wished he’d grow out of some of them just a little bit faster.

“But if you just redirect the old cooling vents through the pie filling receptacle, you’d get the same thing as your pies, except an area of effect!” Huey said, moving around Gizmoduck with impressive speed as he examined the locations of the vents.

Fenton wretched him run around, torn between a cringe at the thought of what Dr. Gearloose would do to him if he started digging into the suit’s guts -- much less letting a kid do it -- and a genuine amusement at just how excited the kid got about mechanical mundanities.

And he supposed he could see where a multi-target pie filling attack could come in handy. Though the speed at which the suit put pies together made it basically a moot point in most instances. However…

“I thought we were here to work on your Crime Prevention badge,” Fenton said, trying to steer the conversation back toward their actual purpose.

“Yeah, sorry. I just can’t help myself.” Huey didn’t sound very sorry, and again, Fenton found it hard to be bothered by that. When Huey had asked to join him on a patrol so he could document potential safety improvements to this area of the city as part of his badge progress, Fenton had been happy to agree. Truth was, he didn’t just owe a lot to Huey’s uncle, he owed a lot to Huey himself. If he hadn’t been quick to act…

Well, things could have gone a lot worse.

The pair of them began walking through the area. This side of Duckburg was in the middle of a renaissance of sorts, which was partly why Huey had chosen this area for his project. It had been an industrial and warehouse section, but as the companies had moved production to cities without eccentric billionaires whose meddling in the arcane routinely caused massive property damage, it left large swaths of cavernous, abandoned property. Recently, the city had made moves to reach out to the owners with grants, and to condemn properties whose owners could not be found, so they could tear down buildings which were becoming dangerously dilapidated. Several development companies had moved in, and the skeletons of new construction were all over the place -- a business park, a lot of retail, a transit hub. There were plans for a small park and a slightly larger amusement park.

As he’d explained when asking Fenton to accompany him, this area attracted Huey’s attention because it had fallen into a sort of valley, where there were so few people here that the police didn’t spend much time here, but the buildings were often half finished, making them easy targets for criminals looking for a place to hide or plot.

And Fenton thought the kid had probably asked for his help in part because as a hero, he’d be security-minded as well, and partly because that whole family was always on the go, always bosy. Wasn’t that why Mr. McDuck had given the OK to Gizmoduck in the first place?

But honestly, Fenton was glad he had, and here was a reason he was here in his suit and not just as plain old Fenton Crackshell Cabrera. Because Huey was right. Criminals had been using this area for a variety of activities. He’d had to step in on a few of them. And some of them were petty shoplifters checking out their haul of clothes or electronics, but some … some were a bit more serious.

It should be fine during the day, but just in case … well, just in case.

They made their way up a broad central street with the skeletons of buildings under construction on either side. Up ahead, the road came to a T-shape intersection at the park. Some of the trees remained from before, fully-grown arboreal specimens, but many of the trees were just saplings, hend straight by stakes and loose wiring. The grass had mostly grown in, but he could still see the straw peeking through where the more recent seed had been sown.

“This is going to be a very nice area when it’s done,” Fenton observed. He could see the business campus up on the other side of the park, its taller, tan buildings looking over the mostly adolescent trees.

“I agree. Which is why I don’t understand why they don’t have a comprehensive plan for maintaining the security of these sites,” Huey said. He had the tip of his pencil in his mouth as he observed the locks on the chain-link fences around the construction sites. “I understand the logistics have to be tough, coordinating so many companies, but really! It’s in all their best interests.” He shook his head and made some notes in his notebook.

The park looked to be in good condition. They walked down smooth cobblestone walkways, noting all the benches and garbage cans. (“Garbage cans aren’t just there to keep the litter down,” Huey told him, tone confident, like he was giving a school presentation on material he already knew by heart. “A cleaner park encourages people to visit, and the traffic can help keep people from using the place for more nefarious purposes.”)

The next stop was the business park -- a nearly completed campus of buildings that all shared the same general features, but in different dimensions. The closest one was a seven-story buildings with an all-glass front facing the street. Another stood only three stories but had a much larger footprint, in an L shape, with a grassy area nestled in the crook. A few benches and a little stone garden made the area inviting, and a couple picnic tables might tempt future employees out there for a lunch in the sunshine.

The exteriors looked good, but Fenton knew the insides were basically half done -- drywall and flooring was still going in, some of the windows still filled with boards and sheeting instead of glass, things like that. The low L-shaped building seemed to be a particular favorite of ne’er-do-wells who used this area as a hideout.

“They did a really nice job around here,” Huey said, with sincere appreciation. “But I think they definitely need a couple more cameras. Look, what good is that going to do?”

He pointed at a camera, mounted under the roof overhang of the L-shaped building. Instead of watching either of the two doors it could see from there or the courtyard and the road beyond, it aimed high and far to the right. What could it see there but the wall?

“Give me a second to check that out, Fenton said, speeding over to underneath the camera, then extending the suit up until he was face to … er, well, face? With it. It looked even stranger from up here. There was a bend in the metal holding it to the building. Eyes narrowing, Fenton reached toward the rubberized coverage protecting all the wiring. It looked like someone had sliced it, and when he pulled it back…

Yup. Cut wires. I guess this helps explain how they keep getting in there.

As he returned to the ground, Huey arrived and asked, “What’s wrong?”

“Looks like vandalism. We should inform the police and the security company.”

“I-”

“Eat gum, polluting scum!”

Fenton started to turn, saw an indistinct blob of … something coming at him and acted on instinct. He put himself between the projectile and Huey in the split second before it hit. Hoping this wasn’t some sort of explosive or-

The stuff hit not with a slam, but with a weird sort of gooshy sound. At the same instant, his movement slammed to a halt, rattling Fenton a bit in the suit. A moment later and the readouts were screaming at him: air intake blocked -- missile hatches sealed -- sensors malfunctioning -- Movement systems locked. Even the visor had been blacked out by the attack. He tried to raise the arms, to try to scrape it clear, but his arms only moved a little bit before seemingly being yanked back to the position he’d been in when he was initially hit.

Fenton wasn’t panicking, not yet, but he was worrying. Can’t move, can’t see, can’t use most of the suit’s functions. What do I do? I need to see. And the suit is useless. Maybe once I see the problem…

“Blathering Blatherskite.”

Usually, the keyword would release the whole suit. This time, the suit tried to do as usual, but whatever held it wasn’t letting go even for this. The pieces just kind of came off and remained around him in a jumble. Fenton shoved his way free of the pieces, doing his best to avoid the sticky, rubbery substance that had immobilized the suit. It didn’t quite work though -- he was lucky enough to only come away with some missing feathers on his arm and the side of his neck where the stuff touched him and he’d had to rip himself free. Huey helped him once he got partway out, and together they moved away from the suit -- which now looked like nothing more than a jumble of metal pieces wrapped in pink. He looked toward the third-story window where the shot had come from. Who could have-

“Hey boss! It’s just a regular guy,” A voice with a heavy drawl drifted downfrom above. From one of the windows. “It’s not a robot, just a suit.”

“Huey, we need to get out of here,” Fenton said, trying to keep an eye on every window at once.

But before they could run, someone leaned out of one of the windows again. This time, Fenton got a good look at the weapon. It sort of had the look of a rocket launcher, but it definitely hadn’t shot a rocket. It actually looked like chewing gum. The area had almost no cover. And that weapon likely had some range.

“Change of plans,” Fenton said, and apparently Huey was already on the same wavelength because he’d already started running toward one of the windows that had plywood in place of glass. The guy upstairs leaned out, trying to keep them in sight, but theplywood was on the inside. And the two ducks hopped into the recess just as he fired the gun again. A mound of the pink goo plopped down where they’d just been.

Up above, they could hear the voices echoing. “I think I missed em.”

“Them? I thought you said it was that one robot guy.”

“Well, the other one was a kid. What, I’m going to be worried about a kid?”

“That kid probably has a phone on him! They both do, numbskull! Just arm the bomb and let’s get out of here.”

Fenton and Huey exchanged a look. Bomb? What had they stumbled into?

Because of the unfinished walls, they could hear scuffling around upstairs, then the sound of footsteps pounding across the floor, receding away from them down the longer wing of the building. As they faded, Fenton’s mind was going a mile a minute.

“We need to get out of here,” he said, more to himself than Huey. “But there could be other people here. Even if they didn’t trap anyone else with that strange weapon, what if there are people working on the buildings? Even if not here, depending on how big the bomb is, it could take out others. If I … wait! Where are you going?”

Huey had pried up the corner of the board covering the window and slipped inside just as Fenton noticed.

“We have to find that thing and defuse it, right?” Huey called back through the board.

He knew the futility of shouting at the kid to come back, to run, to get out of here. He was already inside, and his family had a reckless streak a mile wide. Even Huey, for all his plans and lists, could succumb to it when there was a clear right and wrong in front of him. So cursing the string of choices that brought them here, Fenton kicked at the board until it moved enough for him to slip inside after the boy.

Finding the bomb turned out to be a pretty simple mystery to solve. They just followed a trail of food waste up a set of cement stairs to the third floor, down a hall and into a sizable space that, once finished, might eventually be a conference room. A few bugs milled around the banana peels and bread crusts that lay scattered around the large wooden box -- and the mass of wires and electronics inside.

Fenton peered inside. Not an explosive, not really. It looked like … chemicals. At least two vials. The sides of the glass containers were frosted, preventing him from even guessing what was inside. The timer -- there was always a timer -- said they had a bit under 10 minutes to deal with this thing.

Fenton squeezed his eyes shut, trying to remember back to working on circuits. Mechanical stuff wasn’t really his forte. The vials were touching. Would the “bomb” mix them by opening a passage to one from the other, or just crack them both, releasing the chemicals into the environment where they could mix freely and…

“I think I can defuse this.”

Honestly, for a couple seconds upon seeing the messily made bomb, Fenton had forgotten Huey in the urgency of stopping it from going off. Explosions were bad. But chemicals … anything could happen. They could go a lot further than a blast radius. Linger for years. They could make this whole area uninhabitable. Go into cloud form and move over other parts of the city. And do who knew what. Quirky villains could come up with things that did more than just poison a person.

But Huey was here, and he was staring intently into the guts of the thing, as Fenton had a moment before.

“You think you can defuse … a bomb?”

“Well, it’s not something I’ve had a lot of practice at, but I may have gone a little … overboard … studying for the Junior Woodchucks’ robotics and circuitry badges. Plus, I may have studied up on it specifically, just in case.”

Fenton wasn’t even sure how to take that. Was this that hyper preparedness talking? Or was this a situation where he considered finding a bomb such a legitimate possibility that understanding how to handle one was just a natural course of study for some afternoon?

But then again, he realized, this kid had rewired the Gizmoduck armor, sight unseen, on the fly. He looked nervous. But he was also concentrating, using the pencil from before to carefully push back the wires here and there. He … honestly did look like he knew what he was doing, and Fenton would only be guessing. If he knew what the chemicals were in there, he might be able to come up with something to neutralize it at the moment of detonation. But he was flying blind.

“Ok,” he said. “You take care of that. But if you want me to help, or take over, just say the word. OK?”

“Sure. Give me a minute,” he said. Then, after a couple seconds, his fingers stilled as he added, “or an hour. I wouldn’t say no to that.”

“I don’t know if we can do anything about the time,” Fenton said, willing his voice to say calm. “So if you are anything less than sure about this, say so. Otherwise, I’m going to call the police. Let them know. They may have some advice.”

When Huey didn’t ask for help immediately, Fenton stepped away to let the kid concentrate and called the cops. They got the details from him, and said they’d call back the moment they got ahold of one of their bomb experts.

That done, he went back into the room and sat nearby. A show of support and trust. And to be there, just in case the kid needed him.

Twenty minutes later, police were sweeping all the buildings on the site, looking for any more bombs or other weaponry. A talkative young detective was supposed to be taking Fenton’s statement, but things weren’t exactly going like that.

“I mean, want to get angry at businesses that are polluting the river or something, sure, I get that.” the detective looked like he hadn’t slept properly in some time. He had his notepad and pen out, but was gesturing with them instead of using them for their intended purpose. “But they were mad because tearing down rotting old death traps was killing bugs. Bugs! They’re really escalating though. A bomb? Usually they just chain themselves to the front door of the company headquarters or something.”

“That sounds … inconvenient,” Fenton said, a bit at a loss as to why the guy was telling him about the suspects like this.

“It wasn’t that bad,” the guy said. “They kept only chaining themselves to one door and there were like … four. So it was a strange choice. Though I guess I’d prefer they keep doing stuff like that to repurposing used chewing gum as a weapon or trying to seed a building with poisonous mold spores.”

“Should you be telling me this?”

“Ah, probably not,” the detective said, but he didn’t look terribly bothered about it.

As he wandered off, Huey ran over. “The reporter wanted to ask me about how I defused the bomb,” He said. “Dewey is never going to believe this. Or else he’s never going to forgive me.” He seemed really gleeful about either option.

“Well, I’m just grateful,” Fenton said, putting a hand on Huey’s shoulder. “You really came through. If they have a hero badge, I’ll nominate you.”

“There isn’t,” Huey said matter of factly. Then, after a pause, he hesitantly asked, “but once you get the suit out of the gum -- and speaking of that, I’d recommend peanut butter for that -- can we finish the safety survey?”

And how could he say no?

#fictober20 #17 #ducktales #huey #gizmoduck #fanfic

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ao3porcelainstorm · 4 years ago

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poison ivy & stinging needles 27

On Ao3

Masterlist

Pairing: Sherlock/OFC

Rated: M

Warnings: eventual violence, torture, swears, adult themes (no explicit smut)

Chapter 26 - Chapter 28

Chapter 27 - Unwell

I might be okay, but I’m not fine at all.

(—)

A month after Sherlock’s death and Amelia found herself standing at the front of his grave with a single pink carnation dangling between her fingers.

“It looks nice,” she commented to John, studying the newly erected grave marker. “Very... him, I guess.”

The friends stood in silence, staring down at the ground, each juggling their own complex emotions about the whole situation.

“I’ll let you-,” John cleared his throat and shoved his hands in his coat pockets, shuffling away to give her some privacy.

Others had clearly come to pay their respects since the funeral. Notes of gratitude and blooming bouquets covered the sleek obsidian stone.

“This one means ‘I’ll never forget you’,” she mumbled, feeling a little foolish talking to a rock. “I thought it was a little more appropriate than bringing a sprig of aloe to symbolize ‘grief’. Granted, I ended up digging through an old farmers almanac for reference since I left my books at Baker Street and well-.”

She stepped up to the grave and draped the carnation over the top. Stepping back to her spot, she tugged at the sleeves of her coat anxiously.

“I dropped out of therapy,” she confessed quietly. “I think John knows, because he’s been asking about my appointments. She just kept bringing you up and I just couldn’t- it still really hurts, you know?”

The stone didn’t reply, though a small sparrow did hop near the carnation and poke around its petals.

“I swear I saw one of the nurses who was there the other day,” she continued, biting her bottom lip and staring up at a nearby tree to try and blink back some tears. “John swore it was just some lady from your homeless network, but she was wearing this bracelet that I swear-.”

“Maybe I should go back to therapy,” she muttered under her breath. “I just have this overwhelming feeling that this isn’t... it’s never this simple with you. It just doesn’t add up. I can’t talk to anyone about it because they think I’m this crazy grieving mess- which is true but- come on. We both know I’m right.”

The sparrow pooped on the stone and fluttered away.

“Right,” she nodded to herself, laughing at how ridiculous she felt venting to a grave.

(—)

Amelia found herself at the grave again the next day.

It was raining, so she’d bundled herself in one of John’s old rain coats and huddled under an umbrella. She was alone this time, but brought another flower.

“Purple hyacinth,” she held up the small flower to the stone. “It’s means ‘sorrow’. Pretty apt, don’t you think?”

She moved to place it next to the carnation from the day before, but found the flower was missing. A quick glance confirmed the weather hadn’t knocked it astray, so she assumed it was snatched up by a bird or passing mourner.

“Maybe they needed it more than you do,” she reasoned before telling him a funny story John had told her the day before.

(—)

Amelia wanted to visit a third day in a row, but before she left for the graveyard, she wanted to pick up another flower at the small flower shop near the site.

It was while she was debating between a violet and a blue salvia when she noticed a familiar face parting the graveyard.

Replacing the flowers into their displays, she darted after the person. Against her best judgement, she called out and flagged her down, throwing on a smile when she greeted her.

“Uh, hi,” she started, catching her breath. Amelia knew she needed to play this subtly. She thought back to the ways Sherlock had explained how to pull information out of people. “We’ve met before, haven’t we?”

The woman blinked at her in confusion a few moments before her expression lit up with a brief recollection.

“You’re Holmes’ lady,” she noted with a nod. Her expression immediately fell somber. “I was just paying my respects. You know, before he died, he helped land me a job over at the DVLA? Just said he owed me for all my help over the years.”

So John had been right, Amelia noted, giving the woman a once over. She must have been part of his homeless network. Though not that she was face to face with her, Amelia was even more convinced she was the same nurse she’d seen that day.

Amelia continued idle chatter a moment, more formally introducing herself and inviting her to a late lunch at a diner up the street.

Sarah, Amelia later learned, was quite clever.

She’d shared a bit of her sad tale, of addiction and a string of abusive partners that landed her locked outside her flat one day with no where to go.

“Holmes helped cover some basic living expenses,” she explained, sipping at a mug of tea. “He knew I’d made some connections in the streets and the work was easy to come by. Even once I’d found a flat, I helped him. Nothing easier than dressing in a mess and watching all day.”

“You said he helped you get a job at the driver’s licensing agency?” Amelia inquired casually.

“He mentioned his brother could pull a few strings,” she shrugged. “I’d been trying to find more stable employment for a while now. Go back to school. That sort of thing and he offered to help.”

“Just out of the blue?” Amelia chuckled in disbelief. “That hardly sounds like him.”

Sarah laughed, her lips smiling in an unspoken agreement.

“You know him best,” she hummed. “He needed a little help with a case. Just some eyes and ears. I found a few people I trusted and I had an interview the next week. Just a shame what happened, the poor man. I don’t believe a lick of it.”

“It’s a bit sad the jurors came clean after the fact,” Amelia agreed bitterly, the sweetened tea she’d sipped going sour in her mouth. “I’m glad I ran into you, Sarah, truly. I haven’t had the best time talking to anyone about this and well... thank you.”

Sarah seemed moved by the confession and took Amelia’s hand tenderly.

“Oh it’s no problem, you seem like a sweet girl,” she sighed before reaching in her purse and pulling out a piece of paper and pen. “Text or call me anything. We can do lunch again or I’d be happy to visit the grave with you.”

She scribbled down her details, passing the note to Amelia with another genuine smile. Before long after that, she had to leave, citing a meeting with a cable installer.

“I lived under an overpass,” she stated, sighing. “Now I’m scheduling services like a real adult. It’s something, isn’t it?”

“You never mentioned what Sherlock needed help with?” Amelia chuckled, helping her toward the exit and holding the door open. “Was it a recent case?”

Sarah paused, hesitating slightly before that disarming smile flashed back on her features.

“Kind of,” she answers cryptically. “Got to play a little dress up, which was a nice change of pace.”

“Huh,” Amelia shrugged. “Sounds like Sherlock. Be safe.”

They parted and Amelia fished the small paper out of her coat pocket to enter in Sarah’s information into her phone. She was almost confident her suspicions were right, though almost switched to definitely when she flipped the paper over and realized with was a business card.

A business card with Inspector Greg Lestrade’s name and contact information printed on the other side.

(—)

Later that night, Amelia brought the subject up to John who chalked it up to coincidence.

“But how could it be a coincidence? She had to have been there,” she insisted. “Maybe I mistook her clothes for scrubs. We both know Greg hands out his cards to witnesses in case they remember something.”

“You said she was homeless, right?” he asked tersely, glaring up from his newspaper. “Maybe she was offered some help? Or witnessed some other crime? Greg is a very busy man, his world doesn’t revolve around the great Sherlock Holmes.”

“You have to admit it’s weird,” she challenged. “I knew I recognized her face and sure enough, she said she’d been visiting Sherlock’s grave!”

John tensed and folded his paper under his arm, standing abruptly.

“Look, I don’t know what’s going on with you, or why you’re so preoccupied with all of this, but it’s not like you’re going to find any answers,” he snapped at her, retreating toward his room. “It’s just going to lead to more hurt. Sherlock is gone, Amelia, it’s time we move forward with our lives.”

He closed the door to his bedroom on that note, leaving Amelia standing in the middle of the apartment with her mouth agape.

He’d called her Amelia.

John never called her Amelia.

She wasn’t sure what to do. Deep down, she knew John was hurting as much as she was, perhaps even more. They’d been as close as brothers, and she could imagine the betrayal he felt at his friends final decision. Maybe even guilt.

She certainly felt it. Everyday she felt it.

Moving toward the door to his room, she knocked lightly and listened for a response.

When none came, she decided to just apologize and let him know she was going out for the night.

“Don’t wait up,” she added with a mumble, grabbing her things and leaving the apartment.

She wandered through the neighborhood a while, collecting her thoughts as nighttime began to fall over the city. London had such a unique air to it that varied so much from her home in New York.

Her home.

She supposed London was her home now, or at least Baker Street. Now she wants so sure. Amelia had put her home in a person, rather than a place, and now she felt unbearable lost.

Hands stuffed in her pockets for warmth, her fingers touched Lestrade’s business card. She pulled it out and frowned at the office number listed.

It wasn’t too late. Maybe he was still on duty?

But what could she ask him? That some random woman named Sarah was at the scene of Sherlock’s death?

It was probably like John said, a big coincidence. It wasn’t like Sarah had shoved the detective off the rooftop. Amelia had seen enough to know he leapt of his own physical will- his emotional notwithstanding.

The was no way Lestrade would even let her access the files either. Thatd be ridiculous. A total breach in protocol-

“Looks like a Sarah Patterson was interview the day of the suicide,” Lestrade bit into the sandwich Amelia had brought and plucked the file out from one of the boxes stacked next to his desk.

Tossing it toward her, he focused on the meal, thanking her again for offering to pick something up on her way over.

“You’re just going to let me read this?” she asked, eyeing the folder suspiciously.

“I think yoI forget I’m used to dealing with your dead boyfriend,” he replied bluntly, cringing when she frowned at his words. “Sorry. Still fresh. I know. I get short when I’m dealing with- it’s why my wife- just open the damn thing, get what you need and let me know if you’re going to do something stupid. Least I can do is make sure you don’t get yourself killed.”

Amelia snorted back a laugh in response, flipping through the file and skimming through the details.

“It says you interviewed her,” she noted in surprise. “Do you remember what she looked like?”

Lestrade huffed out a sigh, leaning back in his chair.

“You’re aware I talk to a lot of people, every day,” he explained. “Just give me her ID number and I’ll pull her up in the system. I’m sure there’s a driver’s license on record with a picture.”

Amelia listed off the numbers in the corner of the file and after typing in the sequence, Greg turned his computer monitor around to show her the woman’s face.

Sure enough, Sarah, the woman she’d met earlier, was staring back at her.

Amelia looked back down at the file and noted the details.

Sarah was apparently a nurse who’d witnessed the fall and responded immediately. She’d taken the pulse of the subject and was able to describe the state of the body with somewhat harrowing medical detail.

“Get what you need?” he asked, turning the computer back toward him.

“I think so,” she closed the folder and passed it back to him. “Any chance I can get a copy of that license?”

“It’s on the printer on your way out,” he nodded toward the photocopier outside the office.

“You’re a gem, Greg,” she smiled up at him appreciatively.

“Let’s do dinner with everyone or something soon,” he called after her. “You look terrible and I know Molly misses you.”

“Right,” Amelia answered absently, snatching up the paper and typing the ID’s address into her phone.

(—)

Amelia stirred to someone nudging her foot.

“Dr. Brenner, this isn’t exactly the best neighborhood to take a nap in,” Mycroft’s voice stated dryly.

Eyes snapping open, she jolted awake, disoriented from her dazed state.

“What are you doing here?” she yawned, double checking her wallet was still safely tucked away in her coat.

“I could ask you the same thing,” he replied, gesturing to a waiting car. “It’s nearly 4 in the morning.”

“I was waiting for a friend,” she lied, and Mycroft quirked a brow. “Why are you on this side of town?”

“Your phone’s GPS went offline,” he answered. “This was its last location.”

“Why are you tracking my phone?” she asked, trudging toward the car and sliding inside when he opened the door.

“Because I had an inkling that you would go off and do something irrational like sleep on a bench in an unsafe area in the middle of the night,” he stated. “There is still an ongoing investigation into Moriaty’s holdings and you are a prime target now that my brother has... passed.”

“Aw-,” she hummed, leaning back into the comfortable interior and closing her eyes. “You’re like my guardian bureaucrat. Did you volunteer for the job? Or does someone in your office have a twisted sense of humor?”

“Would you believe me if I said both?”

“And here I thought you hated me.”

“Hates a strong word.”

“Dislike then.”

“I was under the impression that was how you regarded me.”

“I’m a little ambivalent given the fact you traded your brother’s life for some ill gotten victory on a maniac.”

“His death prevented thousands more down the line.”

“Thanks Spock, cool motive, still killed him.”

“Are you still living above the flower shop?” he asked, changing the subject.

“It’s not really a flower shop. Burnt down remember?” she replied, opening an eye to peek at him. She supposed if he was tracking her phone, he probably knew all about her and John’s move to the new flat.

“Have you considered reopening? It might be a nice distraction from your internalized rage,” he suggested, crossing his arms.

“Is that your interpretation or John’s?” she challenged, opening her other eye and glaring at him.

“Mrs. Hudson’s,” he answered with the smallest smirk. Amelia could have smacked him for finding any sort of amusement from this, but god if the Holmes’ brothers didn’t share that identical grin. “She’s concerned. John hasn’t been answering my calls, but apparently he’s been sharing quite the stories with her.”

“Internalized rage is a bit of a stretch.”

“Grief is a complex emotion, we all handle it in different ways,” he continued. “I know my brother was… special to you.”

Amelia let out a dry laugh at his words. Special. As if Mycroft wasn’t well aware of the relationship between the two of them. As if he hadn’t found her shaking on the roof, meters aware from where the detective had leapt to his death.

“And let me guess,” she saw they were approaching the street of her apartment. “You handle it by being a total jackass? Or is that just how you normally deal with the deaths of siblings?”

“In my position, you have to take the positives in even the most devastating of circumstances,” he murmured and Amelia caught him glance down at his lap. Was that a little emotion she spied? “I regret the loss, but he was my brother and I have to respect the decision he made to protect others. Certainly that hasn’t been lost on you?”

The car came to a stop at the curb and Amelia reached for the door, pausing as she considered his words.

“It wasn’t,” she answered. “But I firmly believe the world would have been a better place is he were still in it.”

“I think we can both agree on that.”

(---)

Chapter 28

#Sherlock Holmes fanfiction #sherlock BBC #sherlock fanfiction #Sherlock #Sherlock Holmes #sherlock/original female character #Sherlock/OFC #sherlock/reader #Sherlock/OC #original female character #sherlock original female character #sherlock ofc

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julictcapulet · 5 years ago

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So if you don’t know, Rosh Hashanah (the Jewish New Year) has come upon us, and after a not so great year, I have been lucky enough to still have a group of friends I can turn to when I’m in need, both irl and on this site. Everything is already so long, so I won’t ramble more at the beginning, but all I can say is even if we don’t talk as often, or even if you don’t think you’ve had an impact, just know that I had a very tough year that took a massive toll on me and even if you reblogged something about our ship or replied to one of my posts, that’s enough to give me a bit of happiness. I’m very excited about this, I really am.

part i. to my partners

I’m lucky enough that I have quite a few plots, all of them with partners who I adore and admire and am in awe of, and believe me when I say it wasn’t hard at all to write my own personal letter for each of you <3

@abernathywrites - I don’t think there’s a word to describe your writing other than wonderful? I’ve fallen in love with Sebastian and Bella, my depraved and corrupt murder couple, and I’m so pleased to say I get to write with you knowing just how talented you are. You’ve got a way with words that I just hope to meet halfway, which is one of the reasons it takes me approximately seven thousand years to get a reply, but I enjoy our plot so much knowing how many layers there are to it.

@aguswrites - oh KAY we have two plots together now and I am so invested in both of them like our minds…..are so iconic. I swear, we kinda just yell stuff at each other that don’t make sense or connect and then twenty minutes later, we’ve got this sprawling plot with intricate relationships and amazing muses and I’m so in love with it all. I really didn’t expect it to spiral into the absolute mess that it is—when we were first plotting, I was hoping I’d be lucky to plot with someone who didn’t mind darker plots and oh my gosh, I wasn’t disappointed. You’re one of the funniest people I’ve plotted with but you still write so exceptionally well in a darker setting and I love it so much?? I cannot even begin to explain how much I love our murderous near-sociopathic isolated and tragic children, and our badass criminal would-die-for-each-other-without-question squad. I truly just enjoy chatting with you and sharing memes and writing with someone who has the same kind of excitement as I do, it’s such a wonderful feeling and I hope you know the excitement is reciprocated <3

@arisaint - We’ve literally just started our ship and I am already so excited about it. The time period, the differing personalities, the sCaNdAl…I’m game for it all and what we’ve got so far is just so great, I’m so happy I’ve got such a talented writer to plot with and someone who’s so sweet and nice to talk to about whatever we feel like <3

@bvckywrites - OH BOY can I just say? How much I love our ship?? I think, at this point, we’ve taken the brand Homoerotic Sexual Tension and Subtle Animosity and made it our own. I’ve had so much fun with Sage and Val over the past few months, one of my favorite dynamics I’ve written so far. Every ask meme I write for them kills me more and more with each one I get sent but it’s so effortless to write for them, and that’s one of my favorite things to find and I’m so happy I did :)

@billeypiper - Ah yes, how could I forget the person who gives me literally every single ask meme I want? I love Madelaine and Milena so much, they’re such different muses and that’s why I love our ship. It’s ridiculous how long it takes for me to write one (1) sentence but my interest/love for our girls has never wavered, and I hope you know that <33

@danascullyrps - I’m absolutely so behind on our plots it’s a tragedy wow I promise to get my shit together asap because everything to do with pirates is like…gold for me and I love where we’re going with this.

@grcvitywrites - No, we haven’t yet started our plot, but does that mean I’m any less excited? Absolutely not??? I’m the type of person who’ll get most of their muse from messaging about headcanons and talking about our muse’s backstories and it’s so much fun to do with you :)

@meghvnmvrkles - I owe replies and I’m mad about it because I’ve been so excited about these guys for a while now lmao. Anything to do with secrets being exposed and gossip girl and terrible people doing terrible things to each other is right up my alley and I am so ready to really get into this plot because it’s gonna be such a great time I can’t wait to finally finish them okay ily <3

@of-marauders - I love our ship dynamic so much wow it’s so interesting and heartbreaking and sad and I’m so excited to get to the next bit!! Something with so much worldbuilding and background information is something I’ve never really had before in a plot and it’s a shame because I’m the type of person who likes to know everything about the environment I’m writing in. And that’s why it’s so great that we’ve got a plot going because I’m wholly invested and can’t wait to continue.

@pcralta - My lesbian victorian vampire ex-girlfriends will be the death of me and no, I’m not upset about it at all what do you mean? All the angst and pining that’s going to come with our plot is exactly my cup of tea and even though we’ve, like, just barely started, I already know your writing is great and so is Aurora and so are you <3

@princessflowerwrites - HEY THERE I LOVE YOU AND YOUR WRITING AND YOUR ENTHUSIASM FOR LITERALLY EVERYTHING EVER?? You’ve got this infectious kind of happiness when we message that it’s practically impossible not to catch it, especially when you start sending inspo and headcanons for our ships and it’s so nice to have a partner who’s so into our plots I love it so much. You’re just genuinely a great person who likes to send some good inspo posts and really, that’s something everyone should have on this website because it’s a great thing :’)

@rosecolore-d - I MIGHT CRY WRITING THIS??? Listen. I’ve been through a few different ways of writing this out, but I hope you like what you get because that’s pretty much how I get all my replies out to you lmao. When we first started writing together, I just kept hoping that our ships wouldn’t die out because of how much I loved our plots, our muses, the way our writing styles worked together because they can be so different from one another in one reply and then so similar in another. You’ve evolved my taste in music through your playlists, I’ve both laughed out loud and teared up reading some of your messages and headcanons, I’ve stayed up until 5am sometimes talking back and forth with you and it’s one of my favorite things that have ever come out of this website. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: We stan our couples who sin or we stan no one at all. Aaron, my Soft and Emo songwriter with the biggest inferiority complex I’ve ever seen, and Camille, my manipulative, won’t-have-sex-unless-she-might-die-in-the-middle, evil bitch, are now two of my absolute favorite muses to write. Yeah, it may take me six months to finish an ask meme but it’s literally only because I’m trying to figure out the best way to make you feel the angst and pining as much as I do. I cherish our ships and our friendship okay ily <33

@vii-writes - The first time you ever messaged me was to compliment my writing and honestly, I don’t know if you’ll ever grasp how much that meant to me. I’ve started ships with people through liking their posts or getting the courage to message them first or reaching out after seeing a plot we were both interested in, but I had never had someone reach out to me after they’d read some of my meme responses and wanted to write with me because they liked them. I am so in love with our kids, I’ll go down with Celia and Anthony. I am so happy we started talking and every time I see I have a message from you is a great time <3

part ii. to the ones i admire from afar

If you’re on this list, take this is my formal invitation to come talk/plot with me because I admire you all from afar <3

@fablehaven @ofaphroditea @sidneyyprescott @shutuprhian @chvrliehunnam @maraswrites @faithwritess @stardustmsings @cass1x1 @gothgf-writes @kaylasmuse @slytherin-writes @gortlys @asteriasrp @starswrites @malfoire @sanktas @astral-projects @lanacondorwrites

happy new year.

#had to repost bc tumblr was being a lil bitch with the last one thx #sorry about that #follow forever

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victorianoir · 5 years ago

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The Detective and the ManFatale, Part 1

Sorry I haven’t been keeping up here. But I’ll be adding the rest of what I’ve written since the last chapter I posted on tumblr. And I’ll add it to the MASTERPOST of The Detective and the Tech Guy here, as well. If you want to read this chapter on the fanfiction.net site, you can read it here: BOOP.

Enjoy!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

She found herself nodding off at her desk yet again, thanks to the long night she'd had.

Reaching up, she gave herself a few light smacks to the cheek and blinked, stretching her arms above her head. A satisfied smile made itself known on her face. The extra tiredness was more than worth it. Not sleeping more than the two hours she'd gotten earlier this morning? Worth it.

Part of her had been reluctant to say yes to Chuck when he proposed they "adventure" last night. Well, honestly, she'd misunderstood at first when he'd said they should "adventure", because she'd taken it in an "exploration" sort of way. It wasn't her fault, really, since they'd been wrapped up together on his couch watching TV at the time. Or not watching TV, because they were actually making out heavily with the TV on in the background. So it only made sense that she'd taken "We should adventure" as "Let's move from second base to third base".

Then she had realized he'd meant outside; actually going somewhere in the middle of the night and adventuring in the city.

She'd been more reluctant about that. Obviously. What woman wouldn't be when she had a Chuck Bartowski to enjoy being pinned under instead?

She snorted to herself and pushed her hands through her hair.

God, she was tired. Even if driving over bridges, climbing to the tops of hills, looking up at the stars from their spot on the sandy beach after walking along its shores, was all worth it.

Why did she even come to the agency today? She was her own boss. She could've taken today off, kissed Chuck goodbye as he left for work, and stayed all wrapped up in his bed for the rest of the day, sleeping the tiring (but invigorating) night she'd had off.

But that wasn't how she wanted to operate with Walker Investigative Enterprises. She was a damn professional. And she'd be here, yawning and all. Because she was honestly between cases and really needed to up the marketing to get someone with a case in here. Granted, most of the work she needed to do was ugly, horrible paperwork. Filing things for taxes, making sure the IRS didn't come busting her door down.

She yawned again and groaned, thumping her forehead against the top of her desk, taking a deep breath, and letting her eyes shut.

It was worth eventually walking up that hill to watch the sunrise with Chuck's arms around her.

Totally worth it.

And God, why hadn't she stayed in bed? Professionalism really was a lousy trait for someone to have.

Suddenly, she heard the soft sound of the hinges on the outer door to her agency creak, and she lifted her head, sitting up straight.

"Uh…ahem…anyone here? Is there a, um, a bell?"

She rushed out from behind her desk, opened her office door a bit more and stepped out. "Yes. Good afternoon. May I help you?"

The man lifted both eyebrows as he peered at her, and she couldn't help but notice the almost charming slow smile that presented itself on his handsome face. "It's a great afternoon suddenly, from where I'm standing."

She gave him an exceedingly polite smile. If this was a client, she couldn't afford to be rude. Literally, she couldn't afford it.

He cleared his throat, shaking himself a bit, seeming almost self-deprecating. And then he smirked a bit, as though…Well, he seemed pretty aware of himself. There was a thread of amusement at his own expense, which she didn't expect. "Right. Uh, I'm here to see the, um, private investigator. Detective Walker? Mister Walker? Not sure which…"

"I'm Sarah Walker, private investigator."

"It's you?" he asked. He pushed a hand through his wavy jet black hair, and grinned. "Wow, that's your name on the door, huh?"

"Yes. It is."

"Oh. Right. Sorry. I'll stop being such a prick and get to the reason why I'm here."

She wished he would. She was too tired for him to be standing here doing the same thing a lot of people had done when they first saw her. The gawking, either at her being a woman, or perhaps at the fact that she was as good-looking as she was, or both. The asking of that age-old question: "Really? You're Walker?"

Yes, asshole. Really.

She didn't care if this guy was handsome in an old school Alain Delon sort of way, or that he had a nice lilting accent that sounded like it might be British…but not at the same time. She thought he was probably South African, but the accent felt…different. A little off, maybe.

It was still freaking annoying that he fell into the same trap everyone else had.

"Uh, so…" He cleared his throat and shut the door behind him finally, straightening the tan suit he wore. "Well, I think I need your help."

"You think?"

"Well, I guess I know I need someone's help." He shook his head. "And I need someone good, someone who can be very discreet."

"I'm both of those things," she said, smirking a little.

A bit of a flirtatious look came over his features and he crossed his arms at his chest. "And confident, too. I like that."

"Why do you need a private investigator, Mister…?"

"Cartwright. Robert Cartwright. You can call me Robbie."

"What can I help you with, Mister Cartwright?"

"Not Robbie, then?" He chuckled and nodded. "Sorry. You're a professional. I should treat you as such. Inspector Walker? Detective?"

"Miss is just fine."

"That is good news."

The meaning wasn't lost on her, and she pretended it was, seemingly continuing to stare at him, waiting for him to actually get to business like he said he would ages ago. She was too tired to play games but she wanted a case to work on.

He cleared his throat again. "Right, well…It seems I'm in a bit of trouble, Miss Walker."

"All right. Come into my office and we'll talk about it."

"You mean you'll take my case?" he asked hopefully.

She sent him a bit of an amused look. "Did I say that?" she asked over her shoulder, eyeing him, and she led him into her office, gesturing for him to take a seat across the desk from her, taking her own seat after. "Can I get you water? Coffee?"

"Do you have any whiskey?"

"No."

"Well, good. I'm a champagne man, myself."

Sarah smirked. His sense of humor was catching her off-guard in a similar way to the way Chuck's had, especially when she'd first met him a few years ago, sitting across from him in his father's office, not expecting him to be so handsome or charming, to the point where she'd found herself flirting with him without realizing it.

She wouldn't be flirting with Robbie Cartwright at all, and certainly not in the way she'd flirted with the tech nerd.

She was more than simply taken. When it came to Chuck, she was fully off the market, even for something as innocent as flirtation. Even if it was almost…intriguing…how similar parts of this man were to Chuck, while also being incredibly different. Maybe it was the place he was coming from, the way Chuck felt very sincere in everything he did while this man just made her feel a bit…not guarded, per se, just…on her toes.

It was very strange. She wanted to work it out more than she wanted to hear about his case, she found.

"I don't have champagne."

"No, I expect you wouldn't. Not here, anyway. Perhaps when you fix this issue of mine, we can find somewhere that does have champagne and celebrate?"

"Please, let's not get ahead of ourselves here, Mister Cartwright. I haven't taken your case. I still don't even know what it is yet." She went into her drawer, pulled out her small notepad, a pen, and leaned back in her chair, crossing her legs and propping the pad on her knee as she waited patiently.

"Yes. Sorry. I shouldn't just assume you are single…" He pulled his chin back a bit and looked at her through his eyelashes, as if hinting he wanted to know if she was single. She didn't owe him any information about her personal life or romantic life. And anyway, whether she was attached to someone or not, he owed her more respect than to be broaching the subject of champagne or celebration when he'd literally just walked in to ask her to help him with an 'issue'.

"Mister Cartwright, your problem you need help with…?" she finally prompted, as if she didn't even notice the way he paused significantly.

He seemed to pick up on what she was doing and seemed to appreciate it as he smirked and nodded. "I apologize. You're…very distracting." She had no response to that. "Right. Yes. Well… There is this…acquaintance, shall we say, of mine. Normally, I try to mind my own business, especially when I don't know a person, right? But there's just something about him that seems…not right."

"How so?" Sarah asked, twirling her pen in her fingers.

"Jerald Brown. Have you heard of him?"

"No, I'm afraid not."

"He's an alleged philanthropist. Think he has a tech company or something. But I keep hearing things about business dealings that just don't add up. And with the connection he has to philanthropy, the amount of people who depend on him being on the up and up, it's genuinely concerning."

Sarah frowned, giving him a dubious look. "What does that have to do with you, Mister Cartwright?"

"Maybe I'm just a good guy."

He chuckled when she gave him a flat look. She wouldn't stand for a potential client treating her like she was stupid.

"I'm sorry, you're right," he said, smiling, his light blue eyes sparkling. "I'm an okay guy. It's mostly that I'm thinking about maybe doing some business with him. I want to make sure he's not involved in any illegal business dealings. I don't want to be hoodwinked or have my named tied up with his if he's…disreputable. I want to know he's a good family man."

"Are you a 'good family man', Mister Cartwright?" she asked, without a hint of flirtation.

He apparently took it that way, though, as he grinned and leaned forward. "I am not, Miss Walker. Any particular reason why you ask?"

"Yes," she said, smiling a little. "Because I wonder why you require a potential business partner to be a good family man if you don't require that of yourself."

"Oh." He sat back again. "Perhaps—and I'll admit this to you, Miss Walker, because I'm not claiming to be an angel by any means," he said, with a mischievous look she might've been more attracted to at some other point in her life, namely the past, "I might be something of a hypocrite. Perhaps I expect more of my colleagues than I do of myself." He shrugged. "Isn't that human? Don't we all?"

She sniffed in amusement. "Touché."

He grinned again at her assenting his point.

"So, will you take my case, Miss Walker?"

Sarah eyed him for a long time, flipping her notepad shut, open, shut, open… There was something about him that intrigued her. And it wasn't exactly a good intrigue she got from this first impression, like she'd gotten from her very first encounter with Chuck; it wasn't a need to know more about him, to know him better because he seemed like it would make her feel good to know him. No, this was different. She wanted to get to the bottom of where this guy was coming from because he wasn't like other people she'd met. Something set her on edge and she wanted to know why.

It wasn't just the clicking lilt of his accent or the way he seemed to emphasize certain words in his speech, every syllable coming out measured and precise as if he was parsing words. The more he sat across from her and spoke to her, the more his charm was less genuine and more a blanket to cover something else, or it was a distraction perhaps.

But she wanted to keep this guy around, she decided, keep him in her sights. She found she didn't care much about Jerald Brown. Robert Cartwright had her full attention.

So she nodded. "All right, Mister Cartwright. I'll look into Jerald Brown for you. It might take some time. I need to tail him, get some information, meet with contacts." She climbed up from her chair and set her notepad and pen on her desk.

"Take all the time you need, Miss Walker." He clapped once and stood as well, smiling in relief. "As long as it's discreet. I don't want a potential future business associate to know I've sicked a wicked P.I. on him."

"Wicked?" she asked, smirking.

"Mhm. Oh, don't worry. It's a compliment."

She gave him a look, then pulled her calendar out, scanning it. "Do you have time to meet again on Friday? I'll draw up a payment plan, we can go over that, and we'll solidify what you need from me."

The look on his face told her he was just barely resisting the urge to tell her exactly what he needed. And she was glad he was holding back. She didn't want to have to draw lines with a client. It was demeaning.

"Here?" he asked.

"Yes. Please. Noon work for you?"

"Friday at noon." He straightened his suit again. "Shall I bring the champagne?"

"I don't drink when I'm working, Mister Cartwright."

He held his hands up. "Of course. But may I try again to ask you to call me Robbie? I might be a bit too entrenched in my South African ways…"

She wasn't sure that was a South African thing. It sounded more like a Guy Who Was Attracted To A Woman sort of thing. But she didn't care enough to dispute him. "If that makes you more comfortable, then I will."

"It does."

She nodded, neglecting to tell him he could call her Sarah. Because, honestly, he couldn't. "All right. See you on Friday, then, Robbie."

His wide smile was charming again as he flashed her a double thumbs up. "Sounds great. Thank you for considering my case, Miss Walker."

She nodded, watching as he left. And it wasn't until the main door out into the hallway shut behind him that she let out a long sigh and sagged against the desk her assistant would sit at. If she had one.

This was going to be interesting.

Very interesting.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Chuck was in the middle of blowing a robot's head off when he heard the door to his condo open. "Hey, hot stuff," he called over his shoulder, not looking as he finished off another robot.

A few seconds later, as he beat the level, pumping his fist in front of him with a "yessssss", he felt her cool hand slide over the back of his neck.

"You knew I wasn't Morgan, right?" she asked. "I feel like I just need to make sure."

He cracked up and saved, turning it off altogether. "He doesn't have a key to my place. You're the only one who does."

"Good point," she giggled, leaning down and kissing the top of his head. He noticed she had her briefcase draped over her shoulder but she wasn't in her work clothes, in stretchy pants and a V-neck shirt instead. "You don't have to turn off your game."

"Nah, that was a good stopping point."

"I'm going to be doing work anyway." She lifted her briefcase and huffed, plopping down onto the couch next to him and swinging the strap off over her head, dropping it to the floor next to her feet, kicking off her sneakers and tucking her legs under her body.

He lifted his arm and let her lean into his side, draping that same arm over her shoulders and pulling her close. "Paperwork?"

"A case."

"Oh. Oh!" He squeezed her shoulder. "Hey! A case! That's awesome! Tell me everything. The whole thing. I want to know every detail."

She giggled. "Chuck, I can't give you every detail of every client's case."

"Fiiine." He gave her a put-upon sigh and got his hair ruffled for it, giggling and trying to push her hand out of his curls. He managed to wrestle her down into his lap, her head resting on his thighs and she beamed up at him, blowing some of her blond locks out of her face and threading her fingers with his, resting them on her abdomen. "You can tell me, like, highlights if you want."

She giggled. "You win. But only because it's really adorable how excited you are about my work."

"That's mostly just because it's you. I hope you know that."

Sarah's blue eyes softened and she reached up to pinch his chin. "I love you a lot." He just grinned down at her, resting his hand on her head and stroking her hair back from her face. "So, yeah. This, uh, rich guy from South Africa wants me to look into someone he's thinking of doing business with. That's all."

"Ah, doing some vetting, huh?"

"Mhm."

"Some discreet vetting. That's the best kind."

She chuckled. "I guess so. It's not as easy."

"But you got it. You're incredible at being discreet." He shrugged. "You're incredible at everything."

Sarah beamed up at him. "You're being so cute and schmaltzy tonight. What's up with that?"

"I dunno," he said with a chuckle. "I missed you. Haven't seen you in, like, two and a half days. Do you get to tail this guy?"

She made a face, probably at his quick change of subject. But she still answered. She was too used to him doing that to her, he thought. "Yeah, I do. I have to, I don't get to. Tailing people isn't fun in any way, shape, or form, Chuck."

"No, I'm sure it's no piece of cake or anything. But it is kinda cool."

"You just think that because you watch too many movies that make it look cool. It's completely boring and exhausting."

He huffed. "I'll take your word for it. Since you're a professional. So is this South African guy just wanting to make sure he won't get himself into trouble being connected to this other guy?"

"Yes. Cartwright seems…I dunno…" She paused, biting her lip. "There's something I can't quite put my finger on. He's charming, doesn't seem like a terrible person or anything. I've spent the last few days just doing a quick check on him, building a little dossier of sorts. Mostly keeps to himself, stays out of the limelight… couldn't really find any pictures of him as a result. At least nothing prior to a few months ago."

Chuck had already pulled his phone out and brought up Google. "What's his full name?"

"Robert Cartwright," she said, giggling as he typed it in. "You really think I didn't Google image search him? There are literally no pictures of the guy. Anywhere. Just a recent picture on some low-tier celebrity blogger's page."

"That's impressive." He scrolled through. There really was nothing. "Oh. What about this guy?"

"Mm. No. That's not him. That's for some crab shack restaurant or something in Maine. A different Robert Cartwright."

"How did he manage this? I want to talk to him and ask him. Because I would love this to happen when people Google search for Charles Bartowski. Instead of that stupid fuckin' picture of me from that celebrity video game tournament when I'm practically biting my tongue off in concentration. Four years later and I still don't know how to purge the Internet of that damn picture. Headphones smashing my hair in all these weird directions."

"I love that picture. I'm gonna print it out and frame it…keep it on my desk at the agency to remind me of how lucky I am."

"Stop it."

She giggled with her tongue between her teeth. "And I'll tape a hundred dollar bill to it to remind me of how rich you are, which is why I'm really lucky."

Chuck's jaw fell open as he cracked up, trying to grab her as she bolted upright out of his lap and dove out of his reach.

They eventually settled into their routine of sorts, Chuck strewn long ways across the couch, his head in her lap, his laptop propped on his abdomen, Sarah holding the file she was building on the Jerald Brown "mark" she'd eventually told him about as they talked about the case here and there.

It had surprised him. He'd heard about Jerald Brown even if he hadn't ever done business with him, or even crossed paths with him. But the man seemed like he was genuine, not a criminal, even above reproach, if the things Chuck heard about him in the past were any indication. He told Sarah that, in not so many words, and she'd seemed to mull it over for a while.

"Okay, here's what I don't get…" she said finally. "Are you busy? May I confer with your stellar brain?"

Chuck snorted. "You may. Though my stellar brain might need a martini to really feel stellar. I held off on a martini earlier because I think I just had a sixth sense you'd be coming over tonight and I should wait."

"Awww, are we at that point in this relationship when our minds are melding?"

"Oh, definitely," he hummed. "I'm gonna mind meld with you right now. You're going to ask me why Cartwright isn't as handsome or as cool as I am, even if he is from South Africa and has a tight accent."

She laughed, her head falling back. "How did you do that?" she asked, booping him on the nose. He chuckled. "He does have a tight accent, though. But I was going to say I don't get why Cartwright is so paranoid about Jerald Brown."

Chuck shrugged, shutting his laptop with a yawn and reaching over to set it on the coffee table. "You said he keeps to himself, stays out of the limelight. Maybe he's just like that. Paranoid. Thinking everyone's out to get him, steal from him. Even guys on the up and up like Brown."

"But does he hire a P.I. for every single business transaction, every partnership? My fees aren't exactly cheap, and I'm on the lower end of the private detective LA circuit. Why is he so paranoid about Brown in particular?"

"Maybe he knows something about Brown he isn't telling you. Like, he's testing you to see if you can figure it out for yourself."

She gave him a look. "Chuck, what would be the point of that?"

"I…" He thought for a few seconds. "Don't know. Sorry. I'm just lobbin' ideas atcha. Seeing if anything sticks. I don't know of anything Brown might be hiding."

"You might be right and he's just paranoid. I bet you are right, actually. He just doesn't seem like that type of guy. He seemed…outgoing. Kind of mischievous and teasing. He didn't really fit the paranoid build."

Chuck froze a little. Something about the way she'd been talking about this guy made him sound like he was on the younger side, but also that he might be…compelling, charming. That interested him. And set off a few quiet but definitely still there alarm bells. But there was also something about the way her eyes became so sharp, her lips pursed, like she was deep in thought, working something out… He knew her enough to know there was more to this guy than met the eye.

"Just how much about this guy's build did you notice, Sarah Walker, P.I.?" he asked, widening his eyes and sitting up, shifting close to her and facing her full on.

"Shut up," she giggled. "You know exactly what I meant."

"Yeah, yeah. Sure. He's probably, like, some ManFatale…flipping his hair and giving you a dark, dangerous look as he tells you he's in trouble." She began laughing and shaking her head as he affected an old-timey accent. "I'm in big trouble, Sarah Walker, P.I., and I need help. I need ya help, see?" He smoldered to finish it off.

"Why do I even like you?"

"Martinis and money."

Sarah cackled and slid her fingers into his hair at the back of his head, leaning in to give him a long kiss. "Mmmm, both of those things help." He loved the cheeky way she smiled at him, biting her lip. "But speaking of martinis…"

"On their way." He pecked her lips and got up from the couch, yelping as she gave his backside a swat while he moved past where she sat. "You know, sometimes you do that and I feel like a piece of meat," he teased, going to the bar and grabbing everything he needed.

"Wait, do you really?" she asked, and he looked over his shoulder to see that the look on her face was one of sincere concern.

"No," he said with a snort. "You just got through talking about my stellar brain, after all."

"It is pretty stellar."

"Thank you. And so is yours. You're like if Poirot was an incredibly sexy woman in her twenties instead of an old Belgian man with a crazy cool mustache."

She giggled. "Would you still love me if I had a crazy cool mustache?"

"What?" He finished the martinis in record time and went into his kitchen to grab a few olives for himself. "I think I would love you extra, if I'm bein' honest."

That earned him a strange look as he came back in with their drinks, one in each hand.

"No, seriously. Maybe while you're tailing Jerald Brown you can wear one for me, huh?" He made a play growl sound as he carefully sat next to her and handed her a martini.

"You're so weird and I love you so fucking much." She sipped her martini and moaned. "So much. How is it this good every time?"

"Baby, I'm a masterpiece. Obviously." He chuckled as she let out a bubbly giggle, tugging on one of his curls.

"You kind of are, though."

"Mm nope. I have my faults."

"Sure. So do I. And yet…you masterpiece." She shut the folder on her lap and set it to the side, on top of his laptop.

"Oh. Folder's away. Uh oh. What are you up to—? OH."

Sarah had swung her leg over to straddle him, martini still in hand, interrupting him with a slow, and sizzling if he did say so himself, kiss. When she pulled back, she took another calm sip of the drink.

"I have an idea."

"Please God tell it to me," he breathed out in a rush.

That made her snort, and yet it didn't break the heated mood even a bit. "What day is tomorrow?"

"That's a question, not an idea—Sorry. Uh, Thursday."

"Thursday. Well, I don't have anything pressing at the agency. Do you have anything pressing at B.E.C.?"

"No."

"You sure?"

"I'll cancel everything."

She beamed. "You don't have—"

"Listen, if you weren't currently sitting on my phone, I would've already texted Adisa to cancel everything for tomorrow by now."

Chuckling, she leaned in and kissed him again. She had this way of coupling a slow, heated kiss with stroking his hair that made him feel like he was sitting in a fire pit in the middle of the Saharan desert.

"Let's stay in tomorrow," she murmured against his lips.

"Perfect. We can do an X-Files marathon."

Sarah giggled and shook her head. "Stop it." She kissed him again.

"No, I'm serious. Nothin' like aliens and—"

He stopped when she pressed her finger to his lips. "Okay, you really need to know when to shut up."

Chuck smirked. "Yeah, true. It's one of my faults."

"I can work with it."

"Oh?"

"I have ways of shutting you up."

"Do y—Oh. Oh, wow you do."

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Chuck was in a bit of a sour mood as he pulled up to the parking lot beside the building where Sarah's agency was. That was why he was here in the first place, wasn't it? To get rid of his mood. His girlfriend had a singular way of chasing the dark clouds away.

Also, he was hungry and he thought he'd treat her to lunch.

He hadn't seen her walk out of her apartment this morning with a packed lunch like she did more often these days. It saved money, she said, his frugal and responsible private investigator.

Well, she'd save money today, because lunch was on him.

He needed to get his mom's stinging barbs from earlier out of his mind. He needed to get rid of the anger he'd felt at her words. And he needed to do it before he got up to Sarah's agency, because she'd see the look on his face no matter what he did to hide it, and he'd have to tell her that his mom was being awful about her again.

He hated that it hurt her.

He hated that his mom still did this.

He and Sarah were approaching their second anniversary: it was almost two years since that morning they ate breakfast together on the floor of his half-demolished hotel room in Paris, when they decided to make a genuine go of it. And his mom had known about their relationship for over a year now. She still couldn't just…be nice.

It had felt a lot worse today because he'd almost let himself hope that Mary Bartowski was starting to come to terms with her son's relationship with the woman Pinkerton sent to protect him two and a half years ago, her son's relationship with the woman he had more than proven he was in love with. And he felt like Sarah had more than proven she reciprocated his feelings.

His mother had been almost pleasant, in a sincere way, the past few weeks. She'd extended a genuine invite over the weekend for Chuck and Sarah to come have a meal with the whole family. That had included Devon's parents, even, which was just…unheard of. Even when she had asked Chuck about inviting Sarah's parents, when he told her that they weren't in the picture, since he didn't really know much more than that honestly, his mom had seemed sorry and sympathetic, rather than using it as yet another reason to hint something was wrong with Sarah. There was no tone when she'd said, "Oh. Poor Sarah. I didn't know." And it had given him some hope.

But today, she'd gone back to her usual business when she'd visited Chuck in his office, asking whether Sarah was getting clientele yet, if "after all of this time", she actually had a job. As though the months and months of her building up her agency wasn't literally a job, even if she didn't get paid for it until she took on her first case.

It was worse because he'd built so much hope, only to have it dashed. Like she'd been saving it up for the exact purpose to make him feel even more like shit. He knew that wasn't the case. And he knew she had misgivings about Sarah for reasons that were real for her. But she was wrong. And until she accepted Sarah, she'd always be wrong.

He needed to find some way to deal with it besides being so angry all the time. He was well past done allowing his mother to hurt Sarah, and that meant keeping these small rifts he had with his mother over her from reaching her ears.

Taking a deep breath, he got out of his car and headed inside of the building, pressing the button and waiting for the elevator.

He straightened his blazer and took another deep breath. He was about to see his favorite person in the world for the second time in one day, if waking up beside her this morning counted. He counted it. And he was incredibly happy about it, ready for it. He needed it, frankly.

Even just seeing that epic door of hers, with the foggy glass and her name printed on it: Walker Investigative Enterprises. It filled him with joy. She was living her dream. She was here. They were here together.

His mom could frankly sit down and shut up. He tried not to inwardly wince at that thought. As though wherever she was, Mary Bartowski might feel or hear his thought about her, fly to his side, and ground him, send him to his room, bar him from his video games.

Chuck opened the door to her outer office and stopped when he heard voices inside of her personal office. Oh…she had a client, a visitor, someone was here. He felt like maybe he should turn back, leave, and come back in fifteen minutes maybe. He could text her first. And then he'd come back.

Or…

He could eavesdrop…since that was what he wanted to do more. As much as he knew he shouldn't. But he just wanted to.

So he oh so silently crept in and eased the door shut. The hinge creaked a bit and he made a note to bring some WD40 at some point to fix that. But he didn't hear the voices stop, so he assumed they hadn't heard.

"This fee is more than doable," the man in her office said, his voice wafting out of the not-quite-shut door. "In fact, it feels like a steal. Why don't you let me give you more up front?"

"It isn't necessary," Sarah said. "I have a set rate I charge my clients depending on the type of case and the work that will go into it. This is a fair price to start."

"It's too fair. I'll up it by thirty-three percent." The man chuckled. "Oh, come on. You know, I'm trying really hard here to thank you. A little kindness, you know…" Chuck rolled his eyes at that. "For someone I like." That made him frown a little. "And it helps that upping the paycheck I give you means I might get even better work from you."

"I do my job pretty well with the rate I set."

"That's not what I mean at all."

"No, I know," Sarah said, being more than reasonable, Chuck thought. "Robbie, please just agree to this, read through it, sign. That's all I need from you. This amount here, write me a check up front. And the rest when I finish the job. I reserve the right to charge more depending on the work I end up having to do for the case."

Robbie…?

"You're really stubborn, you know that? But I'll match your stubbornness as we continue to see one another, you just give me some time." There was a pause, the sound of papers being turned, the scratching of a pen against paper. "This is a lot better than an Apple terms and services agreement, I'll tell you that. You get right to the point, don't you, Sarah Walker?"

"I find brevity works better for everyone involved."

"Oh, not me. I love complications. I'd have complications' children if it was at all possible."

Chuck heard Sarah giggle at that. He felt a bit of heat come up from his collar, knowing how foolish it was immediately. Even if this Robbie fellow was obviously charming and even more obviously flirting with his girlfriend, his girlfriend hadn't flirted back—nor would she. It wasn't his ego telling him that, it was his trust in her, in them.

And he needed to cool it with the green-eyed monster.

But he found it even harder to do when he leapt back to the visitor chair and sat down, grabbing the issue of Cosmopolitan that was sitting there and picking it up to pretend he was reading it, because out came a stupidly handsome man, dressed in a spiffy, tailored suit, insanely perfect swoosh-hair, and blue eyes that were literally sparkling as he looked over his shoulder at Sarah as she followed him out of her private office.

"So you're shooing me out—?" The words died on the stupidly handsome man's lips as he noticed Sarah had stopped, looking at something else. That something else was Chuck and he was pretty mollified and gratified both by the dazzling smile she flashed him after her client spun to see what she was looking at. Or whom.

"Oh," Sarah said. "You're here."

"I am." He nodded once, then looked down at the magazine in his hands. The page he'd randomly opened it to in order to make it seem like he wasn't eavesdropping was absolutely a full-page How To chart for oral sex. "Ahem." He dropped the magazine back to the table. "Interesting…articles…in there. Informative," he said, tugging at his suit a bit to straighten it.

The stupidly handsome man seemed to just be standing there awkwardly then, and Sarah snapped out of her amused, but somewhat searching look, and gestured towards the door.

"Mister Cartwright, I'll fill you in on what I find Monday when we meet again."

"You don't work on weekends then, huh?" Cartwright asked, smiling teasingly.

"I do, yes. Hence why I'll have something for you on Monday."

Yeah, you stupidly pretty assmunch, Chuck thought to himself with an inward smirk. God, she was so hot.

"Oh. That makes sense." He chuckled self-deprecatingly, then turned to eye Chuck a bit expectantly.

It became clear to everyone in the room that he wouldn't leave without some sort of an introduction. So Sarah, very reluctantly Chuck saw, moved between them and reached out in his direction. "Oh, excuse me, Mister Cartwright. This is Mister…"

"Bartowski," Chuck said, stepping closer and sticking his hand out. "Charles Bartowski."

Robert Cartwright's eyes widened in recognition as he took his hand. "As in Bartowski Electronics Corporation?"

"That's the one, yes. Nice to meet you, Mister, uh…"

"Cartwright," the other man said with a grin. Sarah gave Chuck a bit of a droll but amused look that only he could see.

"Cartwright, yes. Sorry. Have so much on my mind, always."

"Oh, yes. Yes. So you're seeking Miss Walker's services as well, are you?" He crossed his arms at his chest.

"Yes. Yes, I am…seeking Miss Walker's services." He shared a bit of a look with Sarah and he could see that telltale sparkle in her blue eyes, the way she twisted her pursed lips to the side, probably to keep from smiling or laughing.

"Well, I don't think either of us has anything to worry about. You're highly recommended, Miss Walker. I've heard nothing but very good things, and I get around and hear…well, quite a lot. In my business." Cartwright clapped his hand on Chuck's shoulder, even though he'd been talking to and looking at Sarah.

"Yes, Walker Investigative Enterprises operates with the utmost discretion. So discreet. Professional." Cartwright turned back to Chuck as he responded.

She mouthed "Stop it" from where she stood behind Cartwright, her eyes wide, amusement threatening to boil over.

"Indeed, Charles. Indeed. Well, Miss Walker, I'll let you see to your other client, I suppose, though it's hard to pull myself away, I admit…" the other man groused, and then he reached out his hand towards Sarah for her to shake. He held onto her hand for longer than Chuck thought was necessary, then bid his goodbye and swept out of the place.

He was charming as all get-out and it made Chuck feel…grumpy. And what in the hell was with the strange clip in his accent, like he was concentrating? It didn't feel like an easy charm and it unsettled him. It was probably jealousy. And he was even grumpier about that.

But then Sarah sidled up to him, twisted her hands in the lapels of his jacket, and pulled him in for a slow kiss. "Mmmmm," she hummed, before pulling back, their noses and foreheads pressed together. "Why didn't you just let me tell him you're my boyfriend?"

"Honestly? Two reasons. The first is that he'd trust a recommendation from a super rich tech guru with high expectations over a recommendation from your boyfriend." That made her grin. "The second is that if you told him I was your boyfriend, after all of that flirting he was doing at you, it'd be a little embarrassing for him and I wouldn't be able to hold back the hubris. Which is just rude."

Sarah looked like she was going to laugh, but then an intelligent spark lit her eyes and she pursed her lips, raising an eyebrow. "He wasn't really flirting that bad…"

"Uh, yes. Yes, he kinda was. I mean, he doesn't seem like a full-fledged garden or anything…"

"Garden?" she asked, making a face.

"Seedy. It's a new thing Morgan and I came up with. The term'll catch on. Just wait."

"Oh my God." She just shut her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose, her usual reaction to the weird phrases he and Morgan tried to trademark.

"Wait." She looked at him funny. "Are you…jealous?"

Chuck scoffed. "Nah. It's just…I mean, I walked in and you called him, um, Robbie. And when he flirted with you, there was a liiittle bit of a giggle that came out of you. I'm just sayin'. I heard it. But…I mean, no big deal."

"Chuck, stop."

"No, it's just that he looks like someone took him right out of GQ's Face Edition."

"There's no such thing."

"If there was, he'd be the cover. He's a ManFatale, Sarah. Don't let those baby blues fool ya. That one's dangerous." He leaned his face close to hers and narrowed his eyes, lifting an eyebrow.

"Oh my God," she groaned, letting her forehead fall to his shoulder. "Chuck, I was—" Then she stopped, pulling back a bit and looking up at him through her eyelashes. "I really don't have to explain myself, do I?" It was more of a statement than a question.

"You know you don't," he said softly.

"I didn't think so."

"But seriously, he's kind of too charming. That's weird. And also, how'd he know who I am, Sarah?"

She gave him her 'what the fuck' look. "Chuck, I literally just told him who you are. I introduced you to him."

"No, I know. But he knew Bartowski Electronics Corporation. What's that about?"

"Seriously, Chuck? It's not exactly like B.E.C. isn't well-known. You were on the cover of Forbes with your dad. Where do you think all of that money I'm dating you for comes from?"

"Haaah," he drawled mockingly, sending her a faux glare that made her giggle. "I'm just saying, I'm a little suspicious."

"You're a little jealous."

He held up his fingers. "Just this much. That's all. He looks like a god, Sarah. And he was flirting. Admit that." She conceded with a small shrug. "Am I allowed a little jealousy? Even if I acknowledge it's silly?"

She giggled quietly and kissed him again. "Yes. It's good for my ego. But that doesn't mean you can start flirting back at that Benji Thompson guy's daughter who was at your parents' little anniversary shindig a few months ago."

"Marilyn?"

"Yes. Her."

The way she narrowed her eyes was extremely gratifying, and he held onto the sensations of knowing that interaction had made Sarah into a bit of a green-eyed monster. Not to mention she'd remembered Marilyn Thompson even all these months later. Hmm. "Well, at least we're being ridiculous together," he snarked.

Sarah snorted. "True." She kissed him one more time, then fixed the collar of his suit jacket. He didn't know if it really had needed fixing or if it was just a habit of hers to play with it. "What brings you here today, my tech guy? Miss me already? Even after this morning?"

Her blue eyes glinted with what she'd done to him this morning and he cleared his throat, his hands balling into fists over the waist of her pencil skirt she wore. "I think especially after this morning, if I'm bein' honest."

That made her giggle.

"I actually wanted to take you to lunch. If you haven't eaten."

She hadn't.

And that was how they found themselves sitting across from one another at a breakfast and lunch cafe a few blocks away from her office. He watched as she hungrily shoved her burger in her mouth and took a massive bite. He was glad he'd pulled her away to eat. Any later and she would've let herself start to become Hangry Sarah. And Hangry Sarah was almost as bad as Hangry Chuck. God, the few times Hangry Sarah and Hangry Chuck had met…scary. Truly scary. Morgan had nearly been murdered but thankfully the chef had fed them fast enough to protect himself.

So he waited until she'd gotten enough into her system to eat a bit slower before he brought up the other thing.

"Hey…So…Interesting timing, me coming to take you to lunch today, what with your meeting with Cartwright and everything being today as well." She made a questioning face as she sipped her ice tea to wash the burger down. "Well, because I was actually going to talk to you about that case. Cartwright's case I mean."

"Why? You have info or something for me?" she asked around a fry.

"Yes." He cleared his throat. "So, this um…" Chuck leaned in closer to her and lowered his voice. "Jerald Brown guy, the one Face Edition is having you investigate." She gave him a flat look at the new nickname he was using for her client but he ignored it. "He works in the tech industry."

She nodded. "Yeah. He has a large share in Gridiron Technology."

"GT deals mostly with the big machines, like the big security systems, power grid, all that digital stuff big firms and factories are using to operate and protect their businesses." Sarah nodded again, as though she already knew all of this. "GT is looking for a new investor. Someone else they can bring in to buy some shares and add some power and money to the whole thing, get back some clout after their stock took a hit last year."

"Cartwright," she said.

"Mhm, that was my thought."

She smiled at him. "How'd you find all this out?"

"Babe, I'm in the know. Duuuuh." She rolled her eyes as he picked at the lettuce on his own burger and put a bit in his mouth. "This is my playground. My dad's pals with all of these guys. Or at least, he knows of them. And because he does, I tend to learn stuff, hear stuff as well. But!" Chuck held up a finger. "This is really hush-hush. They don't want to seem like they need this investor. So they're being discreet, operating it under the radar, so to speak."

"So is that shady? Seems like it could be shady."

"It could be, but it'd be a lot of damn work and for what reason? There's also the fact that Jerald Brown has a reputation."

"What kind of reputation?"

"A really good one. Family man, good business, fair, honest."

"Family man." She rolled her eyes. "That's such a loaded phrase."

He winced. "Really good point. He has a family and he seems close with them, though."

"You ever meet him? Do business with him?"

"No, but…I mean, speaking from experience, I'd say Brown is a lot more trustworthy than this god-like Casanova giving you money to investigate a guy who seems pretty upstanding."

"Chuck, your green-eyed monster is showing."

"No, it's not that," he hissed. "Brown is a tech guy. I trust a tech guy over a smarmy rich guy who, frankly, you don't even know where he gets his money. Let's be real, here. Um, also, Jerald Brown can be found on Google."

"Stop," she said in a flat tone. "Chuck, come on. You're being biased because Brown works in your industry and you heard Cartwright flirt at your girlfriend."

"No, I—Sarah, please. You know I'm not that childish." She smirked and he frowned at her. "Fine. Look. Just keep what I said in mind, huh? And maybe look into Gridiron Tech a bit more closely."

"That's good advice, and I also appreciate you giving me that info about GT, Chuck. Thank you," she said, sliding her hand over his on the table and squeezing. "And please, try not to be too jealous. Said with no sarcasm and full seriousness. His Alain Delon looks don't have any effect on me. Not when I have my very own curly-haired, handsome moneybags."

"Talk about my money too much and I'll start getting ideas."

"Oh? What kind of ideas?"

"Expanding the company to make even more money. Gotta keep ya around somehow." She laughed and he put his tongue between his teeth, wrinkling his nose cheekily. "With all these Alain Whoever ManFatales kicking your door in, one of 'em might succeed in sweeping you away from me otherwise."

"You're such an idiot."

"Buuuut you love meeee."

"On Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays."

Chuck snorted and ate his last couple of fries. "I'm really glad it's Friday, then."

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pinkwessman-blog · 5 years ago

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Where Common Machine Learning Myths Come From

There are a lot of misconceptions about ML that can have a negative impact on one's career and reputation. Forrester and ABI Research weigh in.

Forrester studies recently released a record entitled, shatter the seven myths of gadget getting to know. In it, the authors warn, "unluckily, there is a pandemic of ml misconceptions and literacy amongst business leaders who should make vital selections approximately ml tasks." Also see: sites like omegle

whilst executives and bosses speak about ai and gadget studying, they now and again make genuine mistakes that reveal their true degree of information. Forrester senior analyst kjell carlsson, who is the lead author of the report, said in a recent interview that he is heard audible sighs over the telephone whilst specialists listen what lay people have to say.

"whilst the top of product says some thing like, 'we are the use of reinforcement getting to know due to the fact we're incorporating person feedback into the developments modeling,' it is probably not an excellent component," stated carlsson. "i have been on panels with different analysts and i'm listening to aspect like, 'with unsupervised gaining knowledge of you not need people involved or education' and you are like, wait, what?"

abi important analyst lian jye su stated in his experience, maximum executives have a few sort of ideas around the fundamentals of gadget getting to know and the "garbage in, rubbish out" principle, but most of them accept as true with device studying models are black containers and that system studying calls for large quantities of records.

"i'd argue that that is particularly because of the superiority of convolutional neural networks that require big amounts of information and by hook or by crook work higher with more numbers of convolutional layers, and that i consider such perceptions will slowly disappear as soon as other device mastering algorithms become greater famous," stated su. One issue is education. Precisely in which ought to decision makers learn the truth approximately machine mastering? There are lots of practitioner and business-stage options, even though the intersection of the two is what forrester's carlsson thinks is lacking. Kjell carlsson, forrester kjell carlsson, forrester "in which i suppose we want the most paintings and the most assistance is assisting parents from the business aspect understand the technology enough to recognise what is this truely correct for? What sort of troubles can i apply it to?" said carlsson. Following are some of the factors that cause commonplace misperceptions. The terminology isn't properly-understood

part of the trouble is the terminology itself. People every so often interpret synthetic intelligence as machines that suppose like human beings and device studying as machines that examine like humans.

"information scientists aren't the nice at nomenclature," said abi research's su. "i might argue we analysts are partly guilty for this, as we regularly use huge phrases to introduce new technologies."

unrealistic expectations

there may be a standard false impression that ai is one, massive effective thing, which ends up in the perception that ai can do anything. As a substitute, deep learning is now and again interpreted as "better" than different styles of gadget mastering whilst unique strategies are ideal to unique sorts of use cases. It is no longer very useful to just begin with what you need like changing every body in the call center with a virtual agent," said forrester's carlsson. "they are plenty greater installation in an augmenting fashion to assist anyone in the name center."

abi research's su said unrealistic expectancies is one case in which hype takes over rational wondering. In his experience, executives are thinking much less and less approximately waiting for the impossible or the incredible. Lian jye su, abi studies lian jye su, abi studies failure to apprehend the probabilistic nature of machine getting to know

historically, software has been built deterministically, which means a given enter have to result in a given output. The equal is genuine for rules-primarily based ai. On the other hand, gadget mastering has a margin of blunders.

"inside the gadget mastering global, it's perfectly viable that you may by no means be capable of are expecting the element you need to predict because the signal isn't in the records you've got," said forrester's carlsson. Abi studies's su stated one of the arguments towards the usage of device mastering is the probabilistic nature of the outcome. It is in no way as clear cut as the traditional guidelines-based ai utilized in industrial machine vision. Overlooking vital details

an engine manufacturer desired to are expecting when components needed to be replaced. The employer had an abundance of records about engines and engine disasters, however all the information become lab records. There were no engine sensors operating within the subject. So, the model couldn't definitely be deployed as intended.

"there is genuinely nobody inside the agency who oversees all of the various things at the information engineering facet, the device studying facet," stated forrester's carlsson. There's additionally a piece of common sense that comes into play that could wander off between technological abilties and the roi of these abilities. For instance, fashions had been built that endorse accurate bills for salespeople to call. The trouble is that the salespeople had been already aware about those money owed. Failing to understand what machine getting to know ‘success’ method

laypeople frequently count on extra from system gaining knowledge of and ai than is practical. While a hundred% accuracy might also seem affordable, substantial money and time can be spent eking out yet another 1% accuracy when the use case won't require it. Context is crucial. As an example, accuracy stages range whilst someone's existence or liberty is at stake versus the possibility that a percent of a populace is probably mildly indignant by means of some thing.

"there's a whole faculty of concept around quantization, where, depending on the character of the ai responsibilities, an affordable degree of reduction inside the accuracy of ai models can be proper as a change-off, provided this lets in ai to be deployed on part gadgets," stated abi research's su. "in any case, we people are often not as accurate. Having stated that, sure applications together with item classification, disorder inspection, and satisfactory warranty at the assembly line do have stringent necessities that call for repeatability, and that is wherein traditional guidelines-primarily based ai might be preferred."

forrester's carlsson stated anybody can create a model that could quite lots bring about 99. Ninety nine% accuracy. Predicting terrorism is one instance. It takes place so once in a while that if the model predicted no terrorism all the time, it'd be a hyper-correct model. Failing to go after clean wins

science fiction and classified ads lead human beings to accept as true with that they have to be doing some thing incredible with ai and gadget getting to know while there may be a whole lot of cost available in use instances that are not very horny.

"whilst you say gadget getting to know or ai people robotically think that they must be going to some thing that is mimicking human conduct and that's regularly missing the widespread capacity of the era," said carlsson. "device getting to know technologies are truely desirable at running with statistics at scale and doing analysis at scale that we human beings are definitely horrible at."

7 guidelines to maintain in mind

1. Understand the capabilities and limitations of machine studying, and to some extent the makes use of instances to which exclusive techniques are desirable. That manner, you're less possibly to mention something it's technically faulty. 2. One system studying technique does not suit all use cases. Class use instances, which includes figuring out snap shots of cats and puppies fluctuate from finding a formerly undiscovered signal in information. 3. Device gaining knowledge of isn't a set of "set and neglect" techniques. Models in production have a tendency to "waft" this means that they come to be less correct. Device mastering fashions must be tuned and retrained to even maintain their accuracy.

"in software development, there is this information about the want to be iterative," stated forrester's carlsson. "in terms of applications that are relying on system studying fashions, they ought to be even greater iterative because you're iterating at the information, the commercial enterprise use case and the methods that you're using in tandem. None of them are ever virtually fixed at the beginning of a project due to the fact we do not know what statistics you've got, or you do not know what commercial enterprise use instances that statistics should assist."

four. Machine learning accuracy is relative to the use case. Further to considering the dangers related to capability errors, recognise the art of the possible changes over time.

"a 50. 1% pc vision model is wonderful. Or you could say 60% accuracy or 70% accuracy is way higher than some thing we've got carried out before," stated carlsson. Five. Context is essential. Ai and device mastering can not reap the identical results no matter context. Context determines the strategies which can be higher or worse and the extent of self belief this is perfect or unacceptable in a given state of affairs. Context also has a bearing on what information is needed to solve a positive trouble and whether or not biases are applicable or unacceptable. As an instance, discrimination is taken into consideration a awful factor, normally speakme, however it's comprehensible why a bank wouldn't loan just all and sundry millions of bucks.

"in many instances, device [learning] is actually horrific at figuring out beyond biases that had been hidden in statistics. In different instances, the great of the facts matters, which include pixel depend, clear annotation, and a smooth statistics set," stated su. Then again, the cleanest statistics isn't always useful if it's the wrong records.

"oldsters are assuming that machine studying or even ai goes to in some way do something magical whilst the statistics isn't always around and that that doesn't work. [conversely,] folks are assuming that as long as we've got plenty and lots of records, we are able to be able to do something magical, which frequently does not keep either, stated forrester's carlsson. "having bad satisfactory facts at the proper thing [can] without a doubt [be] better than having huge amounts of data on the wrong factor."

6. Remember the fact that machine studying is a combination of hardware and software. Specially, abi studies's su stated the software program abilities will only be as exact as what the hardware can supply or is designed to supply. 7. Traditional guidelines-based totally ai will likely co-exist with gadget studying-based ai for quite some time. Su said a few obligations will continue to require deterministic selection-making instead of a probabilistic technique. For greater approximately gadget studying inside the corporation test out those articles. A way to manage the human-system workforce

5 iot challenges and possibilities for this 12 months

what is subsequent: ai and facts traits for 2020 and beyond

lisa morgan is a contract writer who covers huge information and bi for informationweek. She has contributed articles, reports, and other sorts of content material to diverse publications and web sites ranging from sd instances to the economist sensible unit. Frequent areas of insurance consist of ... View complete bio we welcome your feedback in this subject matter on our social media channels, or [contact us directly] with questions on the site.

#tech

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readingwebcomics · 6 years ago

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Analyzing Questionable Content: Pages 151-200

High school bully or not, I’d like to reiterate the fact that Dora’s presence is so terrifying that it can repel a trained government agent. That’s a level of badass we should all strive to be.

…I mean like, don’t actually beat people up and steal their cigarettes, lung cancer is bad. But still!

Before getting into things, I’d like to open with a little bit of bookkeeping: First, as was pointed out to me by at least two different people, I COMPLETELY misread #123 – it was Marten who was helping Steve out on a date, not the other way around. This was completely my bad, so I personally retract everything I said about Jeph’s timescale.

Secondly, on my point on Dora’s identity crisis, user Scarlet Manuka had this to say:

For the time frame of Dora's goth phase, I think that Jeph is actually trying to present this as a genuine identity crisis for Dora - but it's also likely one that's been a long time building up. She's probably been becoming increasingly disenchanted with it for the last couple of years, and given that Raven complains that she's missed fifteen or so meetings, it looks like she's already subconsciously let it go quite some time in the past. I think we're seeing more the conscious realisation of a process that's already happened. In many ways that's what an identity crisis is: the realisation that the slow incremental changes we all experience every day have added up into something big while you weren't looking, and that something you thought was part of you really isn't any more.

That’s a perfectly fair point and one I didn’t consider. Thanks for bringing this up, under this light the time frame of Dora’s realization and her gradual shift into a different identity over the course of the next few comics makes perfect sense.

Finally, it was pointed out to me by Marco on the QC Forums that it’s only fair to link to the comic itself in these posts. While I had figured it was really simple to find the comic for whoever’s reading it considering it’s one of the biggest, longest running webcomics out there, they do have a point that I at least owe it to supply links to the site in these posts. So from now on, the dumb intro blurb to each of my posts will hyperlink to the first comic in the batch I’ll be talking about. That way, you can read along with the analysis if you so wish. Cool? Cool.

Now with that all out of the way, let’s move on to the analysis. Agent Turing has nope’d out and Dora saw herself out, letting Marten know that if he buys her dinner she’ll call it even.

This is a weird case of me totally getting WHY Jeph’s going this particular direction – he needs Marten and Faye at an ice cream shop to reveal a bit more about Faye’s backstory, which we’ll be touching on a bit later – but the particular setup for doing this feels… off. This right here reads like a textbook case of a writer going “Fuck, how do I get these characters to do XYZ…” and this being the best solution they could come up with. What’s worse about this is that only a few panels later, Jeph offers a much better alternative:

Literally all he had to do was have Faye be the one to bring this up: Instead of the panel with Marten blatantly asking “So THAT happened, what do you want to do now?” have Faye be the one to bring up that Marten owes her a little something for helping out with the situation, he brings up the ice cream parlor and then the rest of the comic goes on as normal. This may sound pedantic, but it’s a case where just a slight change in wording makes all the difference between sounding contrived and sounding natural.

I have… issues with this comic.

On one hand, Faye is opening up more about her past. A small, innocuous thing spurred her on to open up a little more to Marten, the reminder cracking her mask and showing just how much trauma she’s really containing within. You can tell this is more than just “bringing back memories” – his death had a profound impact on her, there’s something she’s not wanting to bring up or discuss but is being partially dragged to the surface. This is good character writing, and an amazing step in Faye’s character arc. It spurs curiosity, sparks intrigue, makes you WANT to keep reading to see the next time Faye’s mask cracks because you want to see what she’s hiding underneath it.

On the other hand… there’s no nice way to say this – at this point, Jeph is not talented enough at drawing to portray this from an imagery standpoint. The faces are too stiff, the expressions to stock. Faye doesn’t look like tears are escaping from her despite her best efforts to keep a straight face, she looks like she’s mildly disinterested and a blue line to represent tears was drawn on top of her face. Writing can take you far, but the thing about comics is that the written word is only half of the story. Anything you sell with words, you need to also be able to sell with expressions, with physicality and staging.

I’m not an expert in art – not by a LONG shot, I couldn’t draw a comic to save my life – so I can’t exactly offer any advice on how he could’ve made this work better. I’m at least glad to say that with time Jeph came to improve his artistic style, making moments like this feel a lot more natural down the road. He eventually gets comfortable enough with his drawings that he’s able to tell a story using JUST body language, which is admirable. Clearly, we’re not there yet… and unfortunately, it hurts the mood that this comic is trying to sell.

After a week of guest comics, we continue the story with Faye sharing stories about her childhood with Marten, showing just how comfortable she’s become around him that she feels at ease sharing details about her past she likely wouldn’t share otherwise.

Oh, and we’ve got some revelations about Marten’s past here. The Thanksgiving comic where he talks about how his family drives him crazy is starting to make more sense now, isn’t it?

Here, we see three things displayed. First, the fraction used in Marten’s dialogue instead of just saying “half”. I… don’t get why that is. It makes me irrationally angry though. I’m aware that’s fully on me.

Second, this serves to showcase both Marten’s blasé attitude about his strange upbringing and offer potentially an expiation as to why he seems so passive about everything. I’ve offered up the idea in a previous post that when he goes out and makes a choice, it’s enough to completely shift his entire world, so that may have served to encourage him not to not want to rock the boat and keep his head low. This, however, might serve as an alternative explanation, or at least another piece of the puzzle – growing up in a… let’s call it “untraditional” household where his parents were clearly quite open about what they were doing with his son, the fact that Marten grew up to be rather milquetoast serves to make a certain degree of sense.

Third, Marten’s being sassy. I like when Marten’s sassy. As I said, his character kind of… devolves in later comics, so seeing him have a spine enough to throw this out is always fun to read. Plus, it also serves to showcase how comfortable the two of them are with each other that Marten can sling this stuff out without fear of retaliation.

Setup...

The next day, Faye’s leaving for work when a surprise visitor comes to their door.

Marten’s comment always makes me laugh. This comic in general is just hilarious, from Amanda – Faye’s sister’s name is Amanda by the way – triple bomb thrown right into Faye’s lap to Faye’s 404 error to Marten not even missing a beat in his reaction to what’s going on in front of him.

Honestly, I’m with Marten here. And once again, I’m afraid I have to point out the fact that Jeph isn’t quite talented at drawing facial expressions yet ruins the punchline to Faye’s joke in the last panel. At least the writing serves to keep the humor going strong, and don’t mistake me here – these next few comics are gut busters. I fucking love the chaos Amanda causes by just stepping into their lives.

Oh yeah, I guess I should talk about Amanda now, shouldn’t I? Well, uh. Hm. She’s a Lesbian. And she’s a bit of a troublemaker. And like a little bit of a ditz?

…yeah that’s literally all I can think to describe her as. Cut me a little bit of slack here though, at the time of writing we’re on page 4010 and I’d be genuinely surprised if Amanda was in more than 50 pages total. The only real significant things I can think to say about her as a character is how what she says and does serves to inform Faye’s character.

Like right here – we can see the whole “doesn’t plan much further than the very next step you’re about to take” mentality runs in Faye’s family. Also, Jeph’s trying different angles out! Good on him, even little changes like this can serve to make the action feel at least slightly more dynamic!

“Clitoriste” is an amazing word and I hope to find a way to work it into at least one conversation before I die.

Amanda hangs around the coffee shop, swapping sex stories with Dora as Faye desperately tries to claw her own eardrums until Marten comes along. And as I’m saying this, I realize with hindsight that Dora’s being super cool right now, not only letting her loiter around her business but also realizing she was kicked out of her house at least in part because of her sexuality and so is letting her know “Hey, fucking girls is AWESOME, right?” to keep her mind off current events. The more I talk about Dora, the cooler she gets, seriously.

“Aerodynamically curvaceous” is another amazing phrase, this one great enough that Jeph eventually made it into a T-shirt. Seeing as I have as many curves on me as a string bean does, there’s no way I could get away with wearing it myself, but the fact that the shirt exists makes me a little happier to be alive.

Anyway, this comic goes on to show that despite the circumstances, Amanda is taking this rather well all things considered, and Faye has faith that given some time to sit with the information their mom will come around… Also that Faye was a damn good student, which might go on to explain how she was able to absorb so much information about guitars when her ex rambled on about them so much – she just retains information THAT well.

This comic… raises a LOT of questions. The last comic involves characters from another webcomic entirely, making this a fun little Easter Egg/crossover sort of deal. That being said, this raises a LOT of questions about the continuity of QC. Does it take place within the universe of Diesel Sweeties? Or does Diesel Sweeties exist within the universe of QC? The fact that we have a humanoid robot here – does that serve to shed a light on AI development in the QC universe? Did Jeph consider what AI development there would be at this point in writing? I assume not, as thus far the only intelligent devices are Anthro PCs. Is Clango an Anthro PC? Is he a prototype of a more advanced synthetic?

These are questions that were never intended for me to ask, aren’t they? Yeah. That’s what I figured. Considering the fact that Amanda has a girlfriend is canon, and the following phone conversation on the next page is canon as well, the best way to rationalize this is to just pretend that last panel doesn’t exist. Remove it entirely, and this strip fits in perfectly with QC’s established continuity and universe thus far.

Unless you REALLY want to find a way to fit Diesel Sweeties into QC’s universe, which I suppose wouldn’t be that difficult considering it’s a non-plot focused gag-a-day comic, but that’s entirely up to you.

Oh, and speaking of the conversation the two have over the phone:

Credit where it’s due, Dora’s expression on the first two panels is clearly different from the standard set of facial expressions Jeph usually puts on everyone. It’s always nice to see some experimentation! And here’s another situation where Amanda’s main purpose is to drive forward Faye’s character – here we get another hint of something that happened in her past, confirmation that she hasn’t dated anyone in a long time and some kind of source of a reason why she hadn’t. The scar on her chest, the death of her father, the lack of a love life stemming from some event… pieces to the Faye puzzle are falling into place, but we still don’t have everything. We’re given just enough to inspire further curiosity though, which – and I know I’ve said this a hundred times before, but I will say it a hundred times again – is good character writing.

…all that said, I sincerely hope that phone was shock proof. I don’t think her Mom’s exactly going to be in the mood to get her a new one.

Considering Amanda stole her credit card and all, I don’t blame their mom for being furious at her. That said, it’s nice to see that it didn’t take long at all for her to calm down and want to talk things over.

And here, we have specific confirmation that there was a set of “circumstances” that led Faye to want to leave home and move up here. Another piece of the Faye mystery falls into place.

Amanda’s immediately heading off to the airport to return home, leaving Marten and Faye to reel in the wake of an… I’d say it’s fair to call it an intense day.

HAH! If you haven’t read all the way through QC, you don’t understand why that’s so funny in hindsight. Trust me, give it another few hundred comics and it’ll make sense. God, I wonder if that specific reference was intentional on Jeph’s part, or if he just likes Vespas? Then again… he IS an anime buff, it’s entirely possible both events stem from FLCL.

Oh hey, there’s that pink Anthro PC again. We saw them back at the LANPark. Haven’t added them to the character list though since we don’t even know their name, but it seems like Pintsize has friends and a life off-panel. Good for him! I do wonder what ends up happening to these guys later though… Most likely they all just drift apart and move on with their lives.

...Why am I so sad all of a sudden?

And here we see an example of the two of them openly flirting with each other, dipped deep in sarcasm of course but that’s just how these two roll. Their inter-personal relationship has progressed really well and at a nice, natural pace so far. At this rate, something should be coming to a head very soon – either one or the both of them need to acknowledge the fact that they’re getting closer, or something’s going to happen that will throw a monkey wrench into the dance they’re performing.

Ugh. I’m coming to hate whenever Marten says “What do you want to do now?” Maybe it’s just me, I’m willing to accept I’m reading too much into this, but whenever he says that all I hear in my head is Jeph going “I can’t think of a more natural way to transition into this next scene so I’ll have Marten ask this question to push the scene forward.” It just feels like bad storytelling to me, it really does.

Now, I need you to hold onto your seats right now, because what you’re about to read next might just be the greatest comic you’ve ever read in your life. The mere act of seeing this may very well knock you out of your seat. Are you ready for this? I don’t think you are – I don’t think ANY of us are. Brace yourselves.

My man, Jimbo! And yes, he is officially called Jimbo now, so we’ll be changing the name in the character stats screen at the end of this post. And this man, this absolute LEGEND, is living the dream – quitting his blue-collar job to pursue his passion in writing! He’s worked hard to get where he is in life, and now that he’s here, the fruits of his labor are paying off! As a commercial electrician who’s writing on the side, I strive to be like Jimbo one day. God bless you, you absolute PINNACLE of human achievement!

I can’t NOT show off more Jimbo comics, he’s just that great. Also, Faye’s drunken antics are fucking hilarious.

Credit where it’s due to Faye for not only helping Jimbo out with his writing but also doing it as a completely on-the-spot Haiku, while totally piss drunk. Not even going to lie, that takes talent.

Faye’s willingness to engage in behavior like this raises… questions. Questions that I’m not entirely comfortable asking right now considering the author’s own past with alcohol. I’ll touch more on it when we reach the batch of comics 501-550, I’m going to need more time to prepare myself to talk about it in a way that’s as respectful as possible.

And finally… the moment of truth. When long-time readers of QC remember the Pre-500 era, there are two things that come to our mind: The actual conversation that happens at issue 500 that marks the transitional phase of QC into the kind of webcomic it is today… and the headbutt-crotch-vomit comic.

Behold.

I’m not even going to try offering commentary here. Absolutely nothing I could say can be better than what you just witnessed in this comic.

This page right here… it has an interesting dynamic between its first and last panels. Panel one, again, Jeph takes the time to make a new facial expression for Faye as she’s waking up, one that looks nice and works with the dialogue to communicate how she’s feeling. And then in the last panel… well, I don’t think it’s exactly controversial to say that her face in the last panel doesn’t communicate the confusion and rage she’s supposed to be feeling as expressed in the dialogue, is it? Jeph is getting there, his artistry is clearly evolving, but he’s not quite talented enough to pull it all off quite yet. Still, little improvements should be applauded!

And here we get another character confirming suspicions raised back in #172, that being Faye clearly has some relationship hangups stemming from something happening in her past. This raises some concerns considering their more flirtatious behavior around each other and their developing inter-personal relationship. At this point, SOMETHING has to happen to inspire a reaction or change out of one of the two, or they may very well find themselves trapped in stagnation… keep that in mind for a little while longer. On the art side of things, something to note that I just realized… Steve has a shine in his eyes to make them look more natural and full of life, but Marten’s doesn’t. Is there any particular reason for this? And why am I noticing it just now? Actually looking back a few comics, the “shine in the eyes” detail only started with #186… again, in all characters except Marten. Is there a significant reason for this? Or is it just a detail that’s easier to do with the shades of color in people’s eyes except for Marten’s for whatever reason? I don’t have an answer, but it’s something to keep in mind at least while we watch the art evolve.

Also, one more thing?

Either Marten’s a liar, or Faye’s ass is just THAT good that it converted him. My money’s on the latter, considering people routinely talk about how baller Faye’s ass is.

Yes, I did just use the word “baller” unironically. No, I don’t have any shame, thanks for asking.

…payoff.

And again with the fucking contraction thing… It’s not subtle if other characters are pointing it out! I know, I’m the only person willing to die on this hill, and I KNOW it’s long-passed and nobody’s concerned about it anymore, but it genuinely bothers me! This is a stupid character traits that… bah, I’m not going to repeat myself again. On a lighter note, this particular comic showcases how much better Jeph’s gotten at drawing faces. It’s not much, but it’s better than the stock expressions that most characters usually wear, and you can see some subtle actions and thoughts expressed in the way Dora or Faye’s eyebrows move, in which direction their eyes are facing… it’s nice stuff.

I won’t show everything in these next three comics, but I wanted to showcase this series of events at least because this is some good character writing that says a lot about both Steve and the new girl Jeph introduces.

Setup…

Payoff…

…and subversion of expectations.

Sorry Marten, but I’m with Steve here 100%. That was clever, well-played, and EXTREMELY hot all at once. It’s too bad we don’t end up seeing much of Ellen after this because she has SUCH a strong established introduction.

And what fortunate timing – we have another collection of guest comics, which ends RIGHT at #200:

And here we go – the spark of conflict in the relationship dynamic between Marten and Faye that I predicted we needed. How’s Faye going to deal with this? How’s Marten going to deal with this? What if on this date it turns out he’s actually, seriously interested in Dora? Would this push Faye to action? She’s made it clear, at least to the people around her, that she’s not interested in pursuing something with Marten… so what if someone made her put her money where her mouth is? Well, we’ll find out one way or another come the next batch of comics.

While we’re still talking about this batch however, let’s do our usual deal of comparing the art shift between the first and the last comics in the batch:

This is a clear-cut example of a lot of small, subtle tweaks happening over the course of a long enough period of time making a clear, distinct difference. The biggest change, of course, being the faces of everyone as I’ve been bringing up all throughout this post – everyone looks so much more EXPRESSIVE. You can get a proper read on someone’s mood based on just how they look alone now, and I find that super impressive… admittedly, it also makes me wish that Jeph could/would re-do the ice cream comic in this newer art style to properly capture the expression on Faye’s face that he wanted to capture, but you know. Would’ve, could’ve, should’ve.

So what did I think of this batch of comics so far? Personally, I think it’s the best batch yet – the best improvement in art, the most introduced on Faye’s character, the best sarcasm from Marten… a LOT was improved in this batch, and that deserves praise. I like where the plot is going, I want to know more about Faye, and I am hooked on the will they/won’t they story, especially with the newer developments in the complexities of their relationship web coming into play.

All that said, let’s take a look at the data analysis for this particular batch:

Marten: 34/50 – 68%

Faye: 33/50 – 66%

Dora: 12/50 – 24%

Amanda: 12/50 – 24%

Steve: 6/50 – 12%

Pintsize: 5/50 – 10%

Jimbo: 3/50 – 6%

Ellen: 3/50 – 6%

Turing: 1/50 – 2%

Grand Total:

Marten: 166/200 – 83%

Faye: 163/200 – 81.5%

Dora: 51/200 – 25.5%

Pintsize: 50/200 – 25%

Steve: 22/200 – 11%

Amanda: 12/200 – 6%

Sara: 7/200 – 3.5%

Jimbo: 5/200 – 2.5%

Turing: 4/200 – 2%

Raven: 3/200 – 1.5%

Ellen: 3/200 – 1.5%

Scott: 2/200 – 1%

Miéville: 1/200 – 0.5%

Ell: 1/200 – 0.5%

Do note that in this last batch, 12 of the 50 were non-canon guest comics, so I didn’t count any characters showing up in any of them. Either way, it looks like Amanda was in enough comics to create a barrier in the stats between main and major supporting characters and minor characters as far as amount of time they’ve shown up in the comic goes. I don’t know if anyone else finds that as interesting as I do, I just think it’s neat.

In any case, tune in next week for the exciting conclusion to the double-date story! And a trip to the hospital!

…the two things aren’t related, I swear. See you then.

#Questionable Content #Faye #Marten #Pintsize #Dora #Steve #Long-Form Analysis #Analysis

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rmctheclown-blog · 6 years ago

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Why Employing Golf Clash Cheats is So Amusing and Why You Should Take into account Using one particular Of These Cheats

Let's chat about Golf Clash. It truly is an great online recreation for the cell mobile phone. It can possibly be played on iOS, Android, or any other running program truly. It operates on Apple iphone as nicely as Samsung and Nokia, and so on. Several people make a decision to use cheats when actively playing Golf Clash. Why a person may possibly question. But this specific someone probably has not experimented with employing Golf Clash cheats them selves. It really is a great deal of exciting and provides tons of positive aspects to the surface area. You can get unrestricted coins and gems, even though minimal to 1 day-to-day use, this even now adds up to a ton of gems and cash in excess of the system of a number of days. Can you picture employing this cheat device every solitary day? That is a ton of on the web currency! You can almost certainly even promote coins and gems to your buddies or household, to earn some further quick income. In any case, in case you are pondering exactly where to find one particular of these Golfing Clash cheats, you can go to this site to give you an case in point. This is not the only Golfing Clash cheat out there of training course, but it really is 1 that I can individually advocate to you. I have utilised it a lot in the past when I utilized to enjoy Golfing Clash, but given that of late I have not experienced the time to engage in which I sort of regret. I genuinely liked that match and cherished spending hours at a time just currently being a nerd! The spouse missed me, yeah, but it was so exciting! And I don't complain when she is doing here on-line shopping! Anyway, we're receiving off subject here. Back again to Golf Clash. Let's speak much more about this Golfing Clash hack I was chatting about. It truly is basically an on the web generator which functions on some secured proxy servers on their stop. What that implies is you will not have to worry about acquiring banned due to the fact you never ever downloaded the cheat to start with. There are no traces again to your account which implies there is not likely to occur something undesirable to you. You can just sit again and unwind and get pleasure from the sport with your freshly additional cash and gems. This certain resource is possibly the only Golfing Clash cheat that operates in my encounter. Because consider my term for this - there are a whole lot of faux kinds out there, and you do not want to waste your valuable time on those. You want to pick a hack device that performs. So ideally you can recognize that I connected you this functioning a single. Some folks are in opposition to employing cheats for online games, and some aren't. Personally, I will not thoughts making use of cheats or hacks for online games. They are enjoyable and provides you added pleasure when playing. You get this feeling of getting excellent to your opponents. You come to feel unstoppable and robust! Everyone will think you are the ideal Golfing Clash participant in the entire world! And all simply because you know of a Golfing Clash hack instrument that they do not know of. How wonderful is that? I believe it truly is quite cool. I'm sorry if I have rambled for too prolonged but as you can inform I am fairly passionate about on the web game titles and their feasible shortcuts. If you don't know how to administrate a single of these Golf Clash cheats, you can check out out the video that is put on the website. On this site there is a Youtube online video embedded which you can just take a look at to information you by means of the process of using this generator. Since I realize that it can be challenging for a newbie to use a single of these hacks. But the developer has been quite excellent at instructing his users. It has fairly a handful of great features but the two major kinds are the most essential types. And people are the limitless cash and gems. Because this is fundamentally what everyone in Golfing Clash desires, and what everybody is striving to get their hands on! Typically you would have to shell out a ton of money to get these things, but not any longer. That is also why I explained you could probably receive some cash promoting these to buddies or household. Because they are fairly high-priced if you buy them in the Golf Clash retailer.

I consider it is like $200 for some details, I suggest critically, how insane is that! No 1 can afford that variety of cost for some basic recreation factors. I believe they must think about reducing the rates. https://www.linkedin.com/post/edit/golf-clash-cheat-works-best-hack-2019-benne-rynke and women would possibly think 2 times about cheating in Golf Clash to start with. Don't you think? I certainly would. But as of now, and owing to the unfairly large prices, I will have to resort to using a Golfing Clash hack resource. And that is wonderful by me. I hope you appreciated my little rant below. As often, have a nice working day, and have a great match! Now go be the manager and king of Golfing Clash!

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alarmingpredicament-blog · 6 years ago

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Zcode System Discount & Review

Hey, it’s John here.

And you’re studying my straightforward, no BS evaluate of what I really consider the Zcode System.

Note that this a review though, not the actual Zcode website. Click here for the Official Zcode System Website.

Why am I writing this? Well, when I stumbled across Zcode System for that to start with time, there weren’t many genuine opinions all over so I imagined I’d create one immediately to aid any of you who're while in the identical place I was.

But be warned, I’ll be going into the two the good and the terrible points, so if that is anything you could possibly not choose to hear, then you may too leave now.

Anyway, let’s get on with the assessment.

So just what's Zcode System anyway?

“Zcode System” is often a detailed sports investing plan that's created to give you assistance on what sports occasions to bet on and which ones to prevent. It does this by analyzing an enormous database comprised of 13 years’ worth of sports information and spits out its prediction dependant on this proof.

Z code system provides predictions on all significant U.S. sports activities including the NBA, MLB, NHL, and (beginning in the couple of weeks) NFL.

For instance, on Aug. 20th the Atlanta Braves played the Washington Nationals. Zcode gave the Braves a 55% possibility of winning the game, but the odds on them were only two.27. Zcode determined that there was no worth in this bet, so it advisable which you don’t bet this game.

It did, on the other hand, give the Below seven.five Runs bet a 64% of hitting. On an even-money bet just like the MLB Over/Under, there was superior value, so Zcode gave it a 5-star rating, its highest bet rating.

Evaluation like this can be offered on just about every game.

Click right here to the Official Zcode System Web site.

I’ve tried very some “sports investing systems” over the past 12 months or so and do not get me wrong, I’ve observed some winners and some stinkers. Zcode will be the initial program I’ve viewed that not simply provides you with the picks, but also tells you WHY it’s giving you these picks employing straight-up statistics, not “gut feelings”.

Here’s exactly how Zcode system achieves an 86.5% success charge:

Zcode suggests you stick to the A-B-C betting strategy. That is definitely, make a 1-unit bet. In case you reduce, create a 2-unit bet. If you shed that, produce a 3-unit bet. When you misplaced that, reset and begin back with your “A” bet. Employing this A-B-C method, you'll want to come ahead about 86.5% of your time with every A-B-C series you perform making use of Zcode. Pretty good odds, however it is actually a small misleading, and that’s why I desired to clear the air now.

What are the Undesirable issues about Zcode System?

“What? He’s gonna give us undesirable factors, also?!” Heh, yeah, actually. I promised that this will be an truthful, no BS review, and I strategy to stick by that.

- There is many information. So much so, that it can be overwhelming at times. Analyzing pitcher ratings, Energy Rankings, Win/Loss streaks, and all that jazz. Beginner sports activities investors may be turned off by all this information. You are able to effortlessly have 20 encouraged bets going, specifically in the course of peak betting seasons.

- The selling price. At $198/month, it’s by far the most highly-priced sports activities investing process I’ve run into so far (nicely, not together with people “expert picks” websites).

UPDATE: All will not be doom and gloom, however. Very frequently, the Zcode guys could have a 75%-off sale, meaning you may get the whole method for $50/month. This tends to make it pretty simple to establish a great bankroll even when you’re beginning out using a $1 betting unit size. The only catch is that you have to become on the mailing checklist to have the e-mail. I think you can also Google “Zcode discount”, but I’m not certain if that works any longer.

==> Click here to get on Zcode’s mailing list and claim your 75% discount

And therefore are there any Good issues about Zcode System?

Nicely yes, basically, you'll find. Quite a couple of to be straightforward.

- BY FAR the most beneficial matter about Zcode must be the brand new done-for-you techniques. They're verified trend lines that get all the guesswork from betting. They may be so freakin’ straightforward a youngster could make money (which I really do not propose on account of underage gambling laws and everything). These lines stretch back for a long time and present you each and every and each and every bet created all through that time time period. Some of these lines have made over $1 million given that their inception. If you are looking to make some serious funds with sports investing, this is often, hands down the most effective spot to start out. I was creating fantastic revenue ahead of, but Holy Crap has this taken it towards the upcoming degree.

- The forum. Zcode not only offers you the machine recommendation, but a very active community also weighs in and offers their two cents about each game. Perhaps there is a essential injury that Zcode doesn’t learn about? Don’t fear, the forum members will allow you realize about it just before you plunk down your bet.

- Zcode is consistently becoming up to date. It’s not an e-book. It’s a residing, breathing, sports activities investing procedure. I can not inform you the number of instances I’ve been disappointed seeing “Copyright 2008” at the bottom of the guidebook that I just bought. Quite a bit can transform in six years (Saints and Seahawks 1st Super Bowl victory, any one?). How do I realize that these techniques nonetheless do the job? I actually appreciate that the Zcode guys retain it fresh.

- The help personnel is excellent. This isn’t some deal that some man threw on Clickbank 3 many years in the past and left up there to suck up cash, there are real humans behind Zcode (27 of them for being precise). They generally get back to my help tickets inside of 24 hours.

All round, what do I believe?

Zcode System is, in my eyes, the top sports activities investing software/system I’ve run into. Ron, Mike, Steve, and their crew of programmers invested above two many years beta-testing Zcode prior to even launching it live, and it seriously exhibits. I’ve personally been employing it for close to three many years now and yes, I’ve made funds. Lots of income. The done-for-you trend lines alone are worth the rate of admission.

The 75% low cost can make this truly a no-brainer. If you’re severe about generating dollars via investing in sports outcomes, you owe it to yourself to offer Zcode a test. You can get begun with as little as $100. Stick to it, follow the method, and you also WILL earn cash.

Hope my evaluation has helped you,

John

==> Click here for your Official Zcode System Website

#Zcode #zcode system #z cide system #zcodesystem.com

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legalblog139 · 3 years ago

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Tell Me About Yourself On A Dating Site

Examples to Describe Yourself on a Dating Site Creatively Construct Your Headline. Would you like to write for us? Well, we're looking for good writers who want to. Be Honest/Genuine. An online dating profile speaks for who you are as a person, where those who come across it will. See also: how do you answer tell me about yourself on dating site when was the first digital answering machine invented 4 pics 1 word answers 7 letters texas jp exam what is the passing score for postal exam 473 how to answer tell me about yourself on dating site issa essay question answers word connect level 1008 answers. Tell me about yourself dating site - Register and search over 40 million singles: voice recordings. Find a woman in my area! Free to join to find a man and meet a man online who is single and seek you. Find single man in the US with rapport. Looking for sympathy in all the wrong places? Now, try the right place. Here s exactly what you re going to get: The most-recommended method of how to answer 'tell me about yourself'. Tell Me About Yourself Dating Response, us voice dating ll cool, christian dating sites in durban, craigslist dating service detroit wi/ Making a Move Tell Me About Yourself Dating Response on a Date. 1 Make a move during a movie. Here are some things to tell about yourself in the first date intro: Where you are from, for example, city or location within a city. What you do – professionally, if you’re working, or what you study, if you’re a student. Your top hobbies or interests. Your living situation, for example, living alone, with roommates or with family.

Filling out an online dating profile is kind of like performing an audit of your personality, your interests, and your values. You’re essentially forced to acknowledge your talents and your triumphs head-on, which can be hard for some people. Completing your profile is an exercise in complimenting yourself, and that makes some people squeamish. But selling yourself doesn’t have to be uncomfortable—it can be fun.

What do you do for a living? What’s your ideal Saturday night? What interesting things make you a desirable and unique individual? If you have good responses to these questions, you owe it to yourself to make your answers shine. The online dating community will thank you. These are important questions that help your potential dates understand your likes and dislikes and decide if you’re a compatible match. Chances are, the things you pay close attention to when you evaluate others are the same things they’re using to evaluate you. And yet, some people tend to sell themselves short in their own profiles, or don’t recognize that certain details are attractive to others. They don’t give themselves enough compliments.

Why? Maybe they’re worried about revealing too much, or seeming too forward. While it’s important to make a good first impression, you can’t worry too much about how other people will perceive your profile information. Maybe you’re worried your PhD will make you seem brainy, or you’re hesitant to share that you have a child. These details—these compliments—are what make you, you, and your true self should be celebrated. As long as you’re honest with yourself when you fill out your profile, you’ll attract the right kind of people.

What is a compliment exactly? It can be anything from being a good listener to being an excellent dancer. They’re accomplishments people commend you on, traits you’re proud of, and achievements you’re working towards. Complimenting yourself might feel unnatural at first, but you aren’t making information up—you’re just showcasing the special parts of your personality.

Let’s look at two example sentences and compare:

Bio 1: Hi, I’m Janet. I work in accounting.

Tell Me About Yourself Dating Website

Bio 2: Hi, I’m Faith. I work in accounting, but my real passion is making people laugh, and my friends say I’m pretty good at it. The only thing funnier than my jokes is my laugh—it’s pretty loud.

Who would you rather go on a date with: Janet, or Faith? I’m willing to bet you’d choose Faith, because her profile reads as more interesting and human. There’s nothing wrong with working in accounting, but simply stating the fact is a little boring. Faith knows there’s more to her job than meets the eye, so she added a quick personal anecdote that you can ask her about. She also gave a nod to her loud laugh. Coupled with the photo on her profile, she’s helping you envision what she’s like in real life. You’d choose Faith because with just one sentence, she already seems dimensional.

You can do this too!

Don’t be afraid to elaborate on yourself in your profile like Faith did. You don’t have to stick to just the facts—you can pepper in anecdotes that help paint a clearer picture of your personality. When you compliment yourself, you realize your strengths and see what others find attractive about you. Then, it becomes easier to identify even more of your positive, desirable personality traits. Soon, you’ll have so much to say, you won’t know when to stop. I’m officially giving you permission to color outside of the lines on your online dating profile.

You might be hesitant because complimenting yourself can feel like gloating. And in a way—a good way—it is. But don’t think of it as bragging. Instead, think of it as packaging your strengths and personality traits. If done correctly, it’s like bragging rights you earned. When you venture into the online dating waters, talking yourself up isn’t boasting—it’s doing the work you came to do. Trust me: You’ll be much more likely to find the right match for you if you do a little selling.

So, this is my challenge to you: Give yourself a compliment. Hey, give yourself two or three compliments—the more the better. Take a minute to write a list of things you like about yourself, things you admire and accomplishments that you’re proud of. Then, see how what you wrote compares to the information you present in your online dating profile. If you’re clearly and honestly representing your strengths, good for you! If your strengths aren’t coming across that clearly in your profile, try adding one or two into the mix. If you see it, believe it and say it, others will, too.

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Let’s look at two example sentences and compare:

Bio 1: Hi, I’m Janet. I work in accounting.

You can do this too!

Tell Me About Yourself On A Dating Site

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agentelmo · 7 years ago

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The X-Files MSR Analysis Series: Season 1 Episode 10

“Fallen Angel”

Previous episode analysis - 1x09 Space.

From an MSR angle, Fallen Angel tells the story of Mulder’s personal angel, and how different his life might have been if he had never met her. We see here (and many times in the future) that when Mulder tries to go it alone, he doesn’t get very far. There are parts of this episode which feel like a glimpse into the life Mulder might have led if Scully had never came into his world. A crazy man running around the forest with a gun and a camera, getting nowhere fast and most likely winding up in prison, and/or fired from the FBI. Or living the life of a nomadic hermit, holed up in a tin can clipping away at newspapers and squinting at blurry photographs.

Then perhaps he might have turned to squatching much earlier in life, and you know that 90′s Mulder squatching would have only led to bad things. Very bad.

So the episode starts with Mulder in Wisconsin about to 007 his way into a quarantined area. The news is reporting it as an ecological disaster, but thanks to Grandpa Deep Throat, Mulder knows it is actually a UFO crash site. Papa Throat tells Mulder he has 24 hours tops to get in there and check out this downed UFO before the cleaners break out the military strength Mr. Muscle.

Fuck me, can I please jump into this screencap and suck on that bottom lip? HNNNNNGGGGGG... I feel like I am channelling someone. Is that you @defnotmeyo?

Clearly Mulder has failed to inform Scully of his escapade. At this point in time, Scully is still completely unaware of Deep Throat and the fact Mulder gets a lot of his information from him.

This failure points to the fact that Mulder is still holding off from completely trusting Scully. He can see she has integrity; despite her assignment to the X-Files being a means to an ends - a surreptitious attempt to spy on Mulder - she takes this assignment seriously and applies her scientific rigour to his work honestly and faithfully, and he sees that.

She has supported him steadfastly throughout their short partnership, but he still cannot shake that she was sent to spy on him. He cannot trust her with this greatest of secrets - the knowledge of Deep Throat’s existence.

It’s fair enough really, because as much as he really wants to trust Scully (and he really does want to trust her) he is still uncertain. The way he behaves around her says to me that he has a deep affinity for her.

Superficially he’s definitely low key attracted to her from the word go - she’s a beautiful woman - but deeper than that, they fall into sync with one another almost effortlessly at times, even when they’re at odds yelling at one another, they’re both learning that they can push each other and it will be okay. They will have each others back. The events of Ice taught them that.

But Ice also asked a question that Fallen Angel continues to pose. Can Mulder trust Scully? He desperately wants to trust her, but old habits die hard. Mulder’s motto is trust no one, after all. What if Scully’s entire purpose is to gain his trust and smoke out the insider leaking information to Mulder? While it’s no fun from an MSR angle, it does make sense that Mulder still doesn’t entirely trust Scully - he’s still weighing her up.

So he goes it alone. First mistake. And Mulder decides to go on this jolly jaunt through the forest cosplaying as the Milk Tray Man.

“All because the lady loves...”

Sorry non-Brits, you’ll have to look that one up.

He poodles through the forest trying to look bad ass, but fails spectacularly owing to the fact he has probably the dorkiest run ever. Sorry Mulder, you just can’t look cool running over hill and dale.

We know Mulder can look sexy running - he has a lovely bit of sexy running in season 6′s Milagro, for example.

Phwoooaaaaar, keep running G-Man.

But here, in this episode?

Yeeeeeah, not so much.

Look at him... boing, boing, boing!

What’s actually most surprising about this whole sequence is that he gets away with it! He dangles underneath a military vehicle and very obviously plonks on the floor with a soldier so close by he must have been asleep not to hear it let alone see it.

I think it’s safe to say that Mulder’s knowledge on stealthiness was probably lifted exclusively from Tom Clancy novels.

Either that, or he has stealth cheat codes enabled.

Now I can’t decide if this is Mulder’s “I can’t believe I just got away with that” face, or his “I think I just rolled in badger shit” face. Hmmm...

So Mulder bounds through the forest until he approaches a light in a clearing...

Creepy X-Files forest aesthetic on fleek.

He then reveals his true passion in life, as a photographer for Alien Vogue.

Work it, baby.

Going solo out here turns out to be pretty dangerous, so with no one to watch his back, Mulder finds himself getting butt-stroked.

Wait, what?

Honestly, that’s what getting pummelled in the face with a rifle butt is called! To be honest, I’d butt-stroke Mulder any day of the week. Know what I’m sayin’?

After a serious talk about breaking federal law with the designated bad guy of the piece, Colonel Henderson....

...Mulder is imprisoned.

Divine intervention is unlikely, Mulder.

So quick run down. Mulder gets a hot tip, tells no one about it, runs off without Scully and ends up in military prison. What a thoroughly unsurprising turn of events. When Mulder goes it alone and tries to do anything without Scully, he gets his arse handed to him.

Sorry Mulder, them’s the rules.

But it’s here we are introduced to Mulder’s mirror image. The man Mulder might have become himself had it not been for a lucky sequence of events in his life that led him to having the right people around him at the right times, whereas Max Fenig clearly did not.

Say hi Max.

Nawww... Max is instantly endearing in his overt politeness and kooky appearance. What we come to understand later is that Max recognises Mulder and he’s being such a try hard, wanting to be buddies with Mulder, because from observing his life from afar he feels he knows him. I mean, we can all relate, right?

But Mulder is actually surprisingly dismissive of Max, and I think even somewhat judgemental. He gets one look at Max and thinks he has the measure of him. He ignores his polite invitation to talk and rolls his eyes as he turns away.

I think Mulder might at times think himself above these kinds of people, the crazies who sit in fields on garden furniture holding up colourful “take me to your leader!” signs. I think that’s what Mulder sees when he first looks at Max - the archetypal UFO wackjob. The living embodiment of why his work isn’t taken seriously.

For a moment here, Mulder treats Max with the same dismissive disdain that other people have treated Mulder in the past.

Just to drive home the comparison between Max and Mulder, he utters Mulder’s favourite catchphrase of all time - trust no one. Mulder might not want to admit it now, but despite their personalities being very different, these two men clearly think alike in many ways.

Side note, Max is quite possibly one of the best supporting characters the show ever had. In all 10 seasons.

Mulder continues to roll his eyes ignoring Max, until Max asks if Mulder saw anything. Mulder plays his usual trick, to get information out of others rather than giving up any of his own, by playing the contrarian.

But Max isn’t so easily fooled, it seems.

Notice how Max is rubbing his ear in this moment? What makes him so sure? Well maybe it’s the fact he’s been abducted by these “alieums!” several times already - hint, hint, rub scar. FORESHADOWINGGGGGG!

Now finally, finally. Scully arrives... I mean, it’s only been a good quarter of the flipping episode without her. Geez... so her big dramatic entrance is entirely appropriate.

And glorious.

Imagine a church chorus as she enters, because the symbolism is so heavy handed here. Scully arrives, bathed in bright white light - blinding Mulder with her brilliance - liiiiiike.... an angel perhaps?!

While the crashed UFOs are referred to as fallen angels, Scully is the true angel of the piece. Mulder’s guardian angel. A supposed proxy of his enemies, sent to spy on him to do the bidding of the Syndicate, essentially. But in actuality is the only one truly looking out for him - and him alone.

But of course, Mulder knows he’s about to get a royal roasting. So makes a ill-considered attempt at being charming.

I love that comment though, “I didn’t order room service.” Because when Mulder does order room service, he orders a hot red head in a trench coat? I’m not sure we’re thinking of the same kind of room service here, Mulder. Rawr.

But Scully isn’t interested in banter, she’s here to tell Mulder he’s really done fucked up this time. That the higher ups are using his latest tomfoolery as an excuse to cashier Mulder out of the FBI.

Poor Scully. How frustrating this man must be to her in this moment. She’s trying to save the X-Files here, Mulder, did you miss that? She’s trying to save you too. Without Scully, Mulder is heading for a personal disaster, because he frequently cannot see the forest through the trees. So focused on his present goal he fails to see the larger consequences - or rather sees them, but doesn’t care - the sacrifice is worth it to him. The Truth™ is all that matters.

Only Scully is fighting to pull him back from the edge, and when he seems utterly blasé about the fact the X-Files might be shut down, she loses her cool.

In fact, I think this is the first time we see Scully genuinely pissed off at him – like really furious. She’s been varying levels of irritated, but this time she’s actually livid with his behaviour, and not just because he’s disregarding the rules.

In past episodes Mulder’s lack of respect for protocol saw Scully concerned about her career and what the consequences of being associated with this man and the X-Files would mean for her, but now she’s trying her damnedest to save both.

She’s angry because she cares and not just about their work, it’s established as far back as Conduit that she has more than just a professional interest in Mulder. She cares about him. She sees something in him worth caring about.

Steady on, we’re not quite at that point yet.

She cares about him as a friend and knows the X-Files are important to him - he would later refer to the X-Files as his life’s work - so of course she’s frustrated because she is trying to understand him, but can’t grasp why he would put the X-Files in jeopardy like this. To her, it makes no sense. To a new audience it makes no sense either.

Except that it does. What we will eventually establish with hindsight, is that this kind of behaviour is Fox Mulder all over. For merely a glimpse at the elusive truth, Mulder would risk everything. He is a master of self-sabotage - he is determined to barrel headfirst into self destruction - and the fact Scully is there to save him time and again is such an incredible stroke of fortuitousness on his part that, sometimes, I’d swear the Cigarette Smoking Man chose Scully for this purpose all along.

So moving on, and Mulder is being pretty flippant about Scully’s explanation of what was out in the woods; he mocks her, even. His attitude towards her similar to his dismissal of Max earlier. A slight “you-have-no-idea-what-you’re-dealing-with” smugness.

But is this really fair of Mulder? I mean, this disarming as fuck smile is definitely not fair of Mulder because hot dayum... But yeah - not what I meant.

What I meant is Mulder has information she doesn’t and that puts her at a disadvantage that she cannot overcome as a scientist who works off of evidence - proof.

She only sees Mulder seemingly pull this information out of his arse, so of course she isn’t going to believe him. Like in Ghost in the Machine, he’s not giving her enough to go on. It’s his own fault that she is so resistant to his version of events. His lack of trust in her is what is bringing this all down.

This is when we see why trust is so key to their relationship, as Scully will say much later in season 6′s The Beginning - it has always come down to a matter of trust between them. When they don’t trust each other, they both spin their wheels in frustration.

This is another episode where we see the outline of their working dynamic being drawn. As Scully will poetically put it one day, they are perfect opposites of each other, and as such their relationship only soars when they both trust in each other’s judgement, abilities and dedication to the truth - whatever that might be.

When mistrust, doubt and even resentment seep in, the differences that when perfectly aligned make them so strong, can instead work full force against each other, tearing them apart. Funnily enough, a good example of that is in The Beginning too.

But in this moment, Mulder doesn’t believe Scully puts the truth above protocol and he still isn’t sure if he can trust her not to report everything he tells her to the people he believes work against him. So he continues to hold out about Deep Throat... and, for now at least, they continue to grate against each other.

But hey, don’t worry about it. Any time you start to feel down about how Mulder and Scully are at odds with each other, just remember that one day these two Spooky babies will be having kinky handcuff sex. Canon kinky handcuff sex.

The next little scene with them has it’s MSR charm in a way. Because Scully is effectively Mulder’s jailer (a fact he amusingly references later with a bit of 70′s pop culture). She’s escorting him back to D.C. to face an Office of Professional Responsibility hearing - OPR!

We hear about OPR quite a bit over the coming years with these two, don’t we. Which is why these early brushes with pissing off the higher ups are so interesting to go back and look at, because it’s such a stark reminder of how their love and dedication to one another eventually takes over all reason - for both of them.

We know there will come a time when there will be no lengths to which Scully will not go for Mulder. From being thrown into prison, to sacrificing her job, to going on the run and harbouring him as a criminal fugitive for 6 years. This episode serves to highlight the beginnings of this behaviour in Scully. Her going against the rules for Mulder.

So, knowing she’s been sent there to take him back to D.C., Mulder changes tack, he wants her on board, he values her insight and abilities so he wants her to help him on this now that she’s here. When she’s there, undeniable and in his presence, it’s almost like he can’t help himself but to put his faith in her.

Scully, bless her, does her best to hold on to being angry at him. But Mulder’s incessant charm always screws her over in the end. She can’t resist him - and I don’t mean sexually, I mean just his boyish enthusiasm and unshakeable determination seems to always chip away at her resolve.

It is, after all, as she says much later in I Want To Believe, why she fell in love with him. So it makes sense that in hindsight she often gave in to him like this because she secretly found his stubbornness equally as endearing as she found it exasperating.

The Last Detail, starring Dana Scully! Ha, back in the 90’s you could quote 70’s movie classics and you’d have half a hope in hell anyone knew what you were talking about, Mulder.

So The Last Detail is a movie about a young naval officer being escorted across country to prison. But before his two jailers take him there they decide that, since he will be going away for a long time, he should first get to enjoy what life has to offer. The film stars Jack Nicholson so I think that voice Mulder puts on is his Nicholson impression. Yikes.

So is Scully going to show Mulder what life has to offer before hauling him off to OPR? WINK WINK.

Maybe that’s what Mulder was hoping for ey? Although, for Mulder, the height of what life most has to offer is bumming around Wisconsin looking for downed UFOs. Pfft. Spoil sport.

What I also like about this exchange before they enter Mulder’s motel room, is the fact that not so long ago Mulder was completely at odds with Scully, but Mulder so easily lets their disagreements go and slips straight back into their comfortable bantering.

It’s like whenever he is with her, he is unconsciously trying to charm her - he seems to turn it on whenever they’re alone together - it’s that little bubble they have that we’ve talked about in the past; once they’re in there together they are in a world of their own. While she is still clearly annoyed with him, he’s trying to entice her in to that bubble with a bit of casual flirting and she fights to hold on to her annoyance.

Course, the banter bus is forced to a sudden halt when Mulder and Scully realise someone has broken into and trashed his motel room.

Check out Mulder’s Ken doll pose.

I like how Mulder gets his quip in about how house keeping hasn’t been yet, but when Scully goes to say something in response, Mulder shushes her.

Piss taker.

The way Mulder goes for his gun, forgetting he doesn’t have it anymore - because of course he doesn’t, Mulder losing his gun is like, his favourite thing to do after secretly staring at Scully. His little head shake and her face fully communicating her thoughts on the matter. You don’t need me to translate, just look at that face.

“Soooo um... do you think she’s still mad at me?”

Yes, Mulder. Yes I do.

So the intruder turns out to be Max, and they drag him out of the bathroom so he can explain himself.

The best part of this conversation is when protective!Mulder body checks Max when he attempts to shake Scully’s hand.

Sit the fuck down, son.

It’s the only time Mulder becomes defensive in this whole scene, even though he’s just heard people have been spying on him for years, it’s only when Max makes a move towards Scully that Mulder gets visibly agitated.

Nobody touches bae, Max. No touchie.

There’s an entertaining beat later in this conversation, when Max explains that he read Mulder’s Omni article on the Gulf Breeze UFO sightings. Omni, interestingly enough, was a real magazine that was published in the 70′s through to the mid 90′s. It contained articles on both science, science fiction and the paranormal. Sounds right up Mulder’s passage. What?

Mulder seems to be slightly embarrassed to have this revealed in front of Scully, as his eyes dart to her immediately and he stutters before responding.

That’s his ‘please don’t judge me’ face.

He already knows from The Jersey Devil that Scully thinks he has no life, and so to have his personal pursuits just openly revealed - that in his free time he writes articles for a paranormal magazine under an assumed name, no less. Yeah, he doesn’t want Scully to pity his spartan existence any more than he thinks she already does.

Now I want to take a moment to dissect this phrase Max uses.

“The enigmatic Agent Scully.”

Because where does Max get the notion that Scully is enigmatic? Enigmatic, of course, meaning mysterious, indecipherable, puzzling etc. Max says that he’s been following Mulder’s career – meaning following his cases – through viewing his travel expenses. He would have been able to see where he was going, but not necessarily what he did when he was there. So I wonder if these NICAP groups are actually spying on Mulder and Scully? Do they go and hunt them down, look into what they’re investigating – observe them?

It might then explain why Scully is described as enigmatic – these people, who are clearly believers like Mulder - would find Scully completely inscrutable. A huge sceptic investigating the paranormal? Questioning her partner at every turn? From their perspective Scully would seem a rather enigmatic figure. An oddity. As Max himself says....

Perhaps these people were paying far more attention than Mulder realises.

While Mulder is clearly flattered by the attention, Scully finds it all rather tiresome.

Bless Max, he does not pick up on Scully’s unimpressed tone of voice whatsoever.

Mulder does though, and attempts to appeal to her own vanity.

Although to be entirely precise, Max did say enigmatic agent Scully, so despite apparently having a photographic memory, Mulder couldn’t accurately remember what was said only 2 minutes ago.

Look at the smile on his face though, keep trying to reel her in, Mulder. She’ll crack eventually! Mulder seems quite tickled at the idea of Scully being described as enigmatic. I think Mulder likes to think Scully is actually quite predictable, but she proves him wrong on that count several times as the series progresses. She can certainly keep him guessing.

So Max then invites Mulder and Scully into his trailer home, and Mulder can barely contain himself.

I can’t tell you how happy it makes me to see Mulder so tickled by something, and the first thing he does is look down at Scully to share the moment with her.

She’s fighting not to smile, look at her face. She still wants to be annoyed at him. But he’s still chipping away at her resolve... chip, chip, chip.

This scene is quite heavily contrasted with Mulder’s first meeting with Max, where he was so dismissive of him. It kind of shows how Mulder’s single-minded focus on seeking the truth can actually dehumanise him. Because now he’s like a kid in the UFO candy store. He’s charmed by the hokeyness of Max’s trailer; in fact, the manner of decor - the haphazardly placed belongings mixed with newspapers clippings, photographs and stacks of books - bears some resemblance to the ordered chaos of Mulder’s basement office at the FBI.

Later, in season 4′s Tempus Fugit, Scully will remark that Max and Mulder are kindred spirits in “a deep, strange way”. That only the two of them could appreciate living like this - the nomadic, frugal life of a UFO hunter. Singularly obsessed, pinning newspaper articles and blurry photographs to every blank surface available.

She didn’t know how right she was, did she.

And that’s the MSR angle here, because I genuinely believe that Mulder could have easily ended up like Max if he hadn’t met Scully. In fact, we see in I Want To Believe how close Mulder is to the Max Fenig lifestyle. Without Scully working by his side, and the FBI to channel his energy, he effectively turns into Max - a recluse who sifts through paranormal paraphernalia by the ton, looking for some kernel of truth to prove the existence of extraterrestrials to the world, all the while slowly disappearing into himself in the process.

We see in season 10 that his home office that once kept his obsession contained - away from the rest of the house - away from the rest of his life, has now expanded out into pretty much everywhere - consuming everything, including his relationship with Scully.

What that says to me is that he really needs Scully to keep him balanced, and that’s what we see the first glimmers of here, in Fallen Angel - a need for someone to balance his obsessive nature, his single-mindedness, his propensity for self-destruction.

Oy... this got depressing.

So Max plays Mulder and Scully a recording he lifted from a police dispatcher radio transmission to a deputy who was the first to respond to the UFO crash - of course not knowing what it was he was dealing with. It sounds like this deputy and a fire crew were attacked. This spurs Mulder on, the look in his eyes as he turns to Scully tells her everything she needs to know - he’s not gonna let this one go.

DUN! DUN! DUUUUUUN!

She’s equally surprised to hear what happened out there, and now Mulder has finally cracked her - she’s on board. Even if she doesn’t believe the truth is “alieums!” she sees there is more going on here than meets the eye, and this is how these two work together so well.

Because even if they don’t agree on what is happening, they can still work together so long as they always share the core goal of finding the truth.

Now we are going to take a side step into Mulder’s Kitchen. Pull up a seat, we’re gonna delve into some mythology stuff for a moment.

So, this episode is a mythology episode before the mythology even existed. So some elements of this episode tally up with what we come to know later of the aliens, but then other things certainly do not. For example, the alien here is clearly incredibly powerful, much more powerful than the aliens we will encounter later - it’s main abilities being that it can turn invisible and PASS THROUGH SOLID OBJECTS. We don’t ever see that again - thank God!

The alien bounty hunters we see later are significantly nerfed - their greatest abilities are shape-shifting and super human strength. So is this alien here something different?

Something infinitely more interesting that this alien does do, is exhibit an ability which reappears in season 10. It’s this high pitched squealing noise that causes damage through the auditory cortex in the brain.

In season 10′s Founder’s Mutation, Dr. Augustus Goldman’s children that were experimented on with alien DNA are also able to exhibit this high pitched frequency which causes a very similar painful reaction. It’s literally the same sound, but a different pitch. Go compare them!

Towards the end of Fallen Angel, Max also hears this sound and he repeats over and over that he’s in pain, clutching at his ear that pours with blood.

Similarly, this ability the children have in Founder’s Mutation causes blood to pour from the ears, nose, mouth and eyes of Dr. Goldman.

I have no idea if this is intentional or not, but it’s shockingly similar. If it is intentional, then will we find that William has this strange ability too?

But that’s getting away from Fallen Angel, and into season 11 speculation territory.. so moving on!

Mulder and Scully visit the hospital to find out what happened to the deputy and the fire crew, and as Scully chats with the Doctor in charge about radiation burns, we discover a fascinating factoid about Scully.

Forensic medicine, ay? I mean, that’s not surprising at all, really, but still... GOOD TO KNOW!

Next we get a Mulder-Scully walk and talk. Hospital corridor too, classic!

Mulder, stop looking at your hot partners lips and concentrate, man!

Mulder is actually positively buzzing; hearing that the deputy and fire crew had severe radiation burns.

Look at how closely they walk together too, they’re bumping shoulders the whole time. Mulder really has no concept of personal space.

I like this scene because it’s Mulder being as excited as a kid at Christmas, and Scully is throwing out an alternative explanation, but he just keeps coming back at her. It’s a very familiar song and dance.

But this is what they do - Scully makes Mulder work for it, and completely opposite to what was intended, she ends up not debunking his work, but makes it stronger - actually gives it more weight, rather than less.

So what happens is that surprisingly, Scully doesn’t outright dismiss what Mulder is saying, but she is still relentlessly focused on keeping Mulder out of trouble, by getting him to the OPR hearing.

Mulder, however, remains pretty indifferent about it. He listens to her, but he’s not really all that concerned. He feels he is so close to catching a glimpse of something here, that he is willing to sacrifice even the X-Files to stick around and follow it through.

But ultimately what he’s doing here is incredibly reckless because he hasn’t actually seen anything. I mean, let’s go back and review. All he’s seen is a mangled crash site which could have been anything - let’s be honest - and some emergency services personnel with reported radiation burns. What it comes down to, is that he’s risking this mainly on the word of Deep Throat.

He needs Scully to remind him of what he needs to do – to think of the bigger picture. But poor Scully is just ignored – again. She’s trying really hard to save his ass, but seems intent on going down in flames.

Ah I do love a good walk and talk though. This is how I like my baby agents. Walking and talking and arguing and Mulder being a little bitch, and Scully exasperatedly trying and failing to get Mulder to see sense. Ah good times!

It’s at this moment, Colonel Henderson arrives with several of his men suffering from more radiation burns. GASP! Mulder tries to reason with Henderson about hunting the alien down, but is thrown out of the hospital, while Scully - she’s a medical doctor don’tcha know - is asked to stick around and help treat the soldiers.

Mulder decides to return to his motel to look for Max - what an irony, the only one with the means to help him continue his search is the UFO wacko.

But Mulder arrives to find Max having an epileptic seizure.

And Mulder is a pretty sweet guy really, right? Taking care of Max. He’s pretty caring when he wants to be.

Holding him through his seizure...

...getting him a glass of water... even if Max looks terrified of glasses of water...

...and tucking him into bed.

Naww… Mulder’s paternal instincts on display here.

Oh...

Oh God.

I need a minute.

Okaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.

So after playing daddy to Max, Mulder notices that Max has a scar behind his ear. A rather grim looking scar, too. Eugh.

Mulder has seen this before... in an X-File of course, because everything is in an X-File.

I have bad thoughts looking at those pianist fingers. Seriously. No more fanfic for me.

Mulder has clearly had these documents faxed over to him, but who exactly did that? Who would he trust at the FBI to go through his files, not to mention the fact he’s currently up for disciplinary action right now, so who would OK these documents being sent?

Meh.

Who cares, we have got some hot glasses!Mulder action for you. KAPOW!

SHAZAM!

Mmm, yes. Ring Ring... It’s OPR here! We’ve decided to drop all disciplinary action, Mulder. Just be sure to wear those glasses from time to time and all is forgiven. HNNNNGGG.... Ahem.

Scully arrives back from her voluntary stint at the hospital - I hope she got paid for that. And she’s exhausted and dejected. Mulder has his theories, but wants to know what Scully’s thoughts are.

Nice one. Excellent theory there, Scully. Well thought out; good reasoning.

I kid. I kid.

I like this conversation, because for Mulder’s part, he’s showing that he values and respects her opinion, even when she hasn’t got one ha. Even though Mulder is used to her going against him, he’s willing to hear it - he’s willing to be challenged, and that’s why their dynamic works for him, because he doesn’t take her stance personally. He understands and values where she’s coming from, even when he doesn’t agree.

And the same goes for her, it’s why their dynamic works between them and them alone - because Scully listens to Mulder when most sane people wouldn’t, lets be honest.

But ever the guardian angel, Scully continues to remind Mulder to keep his eye on the ball.

His trust in her is building, because even though he’s aware her primary goal is to get him back to D.C., he trusts her to tell him the truth when he asks her to do him a favour and examine Max’s scar.

In a demonstration of her integrity, and her loyalty to Mulder, when Scully asks...

and Mulder responds by being a fucking tease...

Scully agrees to examine Max, not based on any claim Max is making - Mulder points out that it’s not Max who thinks he’s an abductee.

She agrees to examine Max against her better judgement and only because Mulder asks her to.

Nothing more than that. Which is a pretty big deal. “I do it all for you, Mulder.”

Unfortunately when they go to find Max, he’s missing and they overhear on his radio scanner that someone from Colonel Henderson’s patrol has spotted someone trespassing where they shouldn’t be.

Mulder and Scully both realise this must be Max.

Scully realises first what this means though, that Mulder isn’t going to be catching that flight to D.C.

The frustrated look on her face is the look of someone who knows exactly what’s about to happen... she knows this man well enough by now. He’s not going to do anything he doesn’t want to do - but she will still try to fight him on it. She isn’t going to give up that easily.

Mulder, on the other hand, looks at her with a face that says “I wholeheartedly concur Scully, lets go save Max!”

Wait, what?!

There’s a hint of desperation in Scully’s voice, she really is trying so hard to keep him out of trouble and protect their work - protect him.

He literally ignores every word she says though, and continues to obsessively pursue this lead. I honestly think the only reason he stops and engages Scully, is because he can’t find the damn car keys. I think if he had the keys and she didn’t get in the car, he would have just took off without her, because we all know he’s very capable of that.

But because he knows she has the keys, he takes a moment to explain his thinking.

Mulder’s theory is basically that Max wasn’t chasing the UFO, that it was in fact the other way around. The UFO was there for Max.

I don’t think Scully believes Max is being abducted by aliens - we know she doesn’t believe in that; but what she does know is that she cannot stop Mulder when he’s like this; he’s going with or without her. She knows trying to get through to him will only push him away, so she gives up trying to fight back.

She really should have just clobbered him with one of their FBI issue torches and shipped the stupid fucker back to D.C. in a suitcase.

As it stands, her only course of action is to go with him - to try and stop him doing something he might later regret. So reluctantly, she hands over the keys.

This is a dynamic that plays out again and again from this point onward. Mulder bullheadedly wanting to plough on ahead regardless of the consequences to himself (and frankly to Scully too sometimes) and she trying desperately to pull him back, only to end up being swept along for the ride in the end.

This dynamic is usually balanced out by then Scully serving some pivotal role in being there – usually saving Mulder’s life.

But oddly, not this time.

They find Max who is babbling about the alieums coming to get him, but then Mulder bizarrely sends Scully outside.

His confidence in her ability to hold off a shadowy military clean up crew is sweet, but she had no chance.

She’s grabbed immediately and Colonel Henderson completely ignores all of her protests.

In the end, Scully being there this time served no purpose at all.

But then again, Mulder being there served no purpose either. He wasn’t able to stop Max being abducted and he gets flung across the warehouse by the invisible alien for his trouble.

Mulder is lucky that this alien knows he’s one of the the main characters of this show and didn’t decide to irradiate him to death like every other human being it had encountered thus far.

When Mulder gets up, Max is being abducted, and Mulder cannot do anything to stop it.

The next thing we know, Max is gone and Mulder is left with nothing but his NICAP cap.

I got abducted by alieums and all I got was this lousy cap.

The next scene is of Mulder and Scully finally at the OPR hearing. Somehow Scully managed to get him there on time, it seems. This scene ultimately foreshadows what occurs at the end of season 1 which is the closure of the X-Files.

By rights, it should have happened here – it’s almost like Mulder knew someone would swoop in to save his ass, because he really didn’t give two shits about getting back in time.

We see at the very end of the episode that Section Chief McGrath is on the Syndicate books, and has been working to get rid of of Mulder.

But is saved by Deep Throat.

However, his motives are suddenly cast in shadow. Is Deep Throat on Mulder’s side or not?

What it does reveal is that, without Deep Throat, Mulder and Scully were doomed before they even stepped foot in the OPR hearing.

Scully, again, being the bastion of loyalty and integrity that she is, tries to defend Mulder until the very last. Even when she’s denied permission to make a statement on Mulder’s behalf she does it anyway. Or at least tries to.

She really doesn’t want their work together to end. That’s my greatest take away from this episode. That Scully wants to be out there with Mulder - and she’s willing to fight for it. If she didn’t, then she could have just let this play out, but she fights and fights - until someone shuts her down - to stay by Mulder’s side and continue with him on the X-Files.

You know what I said about Mulder’s charm earlier? He turns it on for Scully, and he’s trying to be charming here - but it’s not working.

When Scully wishes Mulder luck, he banters about how he’s surprised he lasted this long.

This is probably the most touching scene between the two of them in the whole episode, because for the first time, Mulder acknowledges Scully’s feelings when he tells her not to worry. He can see she’s feeling defeated and is concerned for him.

What I think he fails to realise is that she’s not just worried about him for his sake. She doesn’t want to stop working with him too.

The look of utter defeat on her face when she thinks it’s over - it’s almost like she can’t look him in the eye because she thinks she’s failed him in there.

He keeps putting on the brave face though. Trying not to worry her. He looks so sickeningly vulnerable hobbling away on those crutches. And this quip..

Ugh it just hits you in the heart, doesn’t it?!

Maybe he should have been fired here, then he could have asked her on a date because they’re not partners anymore and he’s out of the FBI. Then they might have got married and had babies and AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

No, brain. Stop.

Being serious now... because as disarmingly charming as Mulder is being, isn’t this all a little bit too casual for a man who is about to lose everything?

It’s actually in moments like these that we see how easily Mulder becomes his most reckless and self-destructive. He wants to believe so badly, that all else falls to the wayside when someone dangles a tantalising piece of the whole in front of him. His singular obsessive nature is so easily turned against him in this way.

Which is why he needs Scully to look out for him.

Mulder thinks he’s grasped something huge here, but we know that it’s merely a fragment of the whole, and those greater truths he will discover in the next 9 years would have been utterly lost to him if he didn’t have Scully there to keep him on the right path - keep him grounded.

He seems to have all but given up hope of continuing on the X-Files in this scene. Perhaps that was the reason for his casual attitude all along - he knew they would use this to get rid of him no matter what he did.

Perhaps he’s about ready to jump full blown into Max’s lifestyle – forget procedure and the FBI – that’s all just getting in the way.

Mulder gives an incredible speech here which seems to point to that conclusion, in a way. That the truth will out, regardless of the machinations of the FBI, whomever they serve and whether or not they fire him. He will keep pursuing the truth.

Man, what a mic drop moment.

But if he had been sacked here, Scully would have been reassigned and he would have gone right down the rabbit hole without her. See season 2.

Again, it’s incredibly fortuitous for Mulder that he met Scully. She really did save him from a life of ridicule and obscurity, a life in his season 1 youth he might have embraced in some petulant act of defiance against the world. But that ultimately only he would have suffered from... and Scully.

Mulder was, and always has been, walking a very fine line between obscurity and legitimacy… and while Mulder is indeed a brilliant man with an incredible mind – a beautiful mind as Scully would later describe it in The Sixth Extinction – he is constantly under attack, whether that be from his traumatic past, or the forces within and without the FBI that seek to turn him on himself or on those around him.

In short, he could have very easily fallen off the edge if he had no one to hold him back.

Scully truly is his guardian angel.

Next up... 1x11 - Eve.

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