#why are legos literally so tragic

[danganronpasurvivoraskblog]

//SPOILERS:

My list so far is this:

Shinku - He's already shaping up to be a very good protagonist. I like his Ultimate Talent (as a writer myself) and his interactions and reactions are really engaging. Much like Makoto or Shuichi, he's rather self-concentrated and has a timid side to him, but unlike them, he's privy to the utter bullshit some of his classmates do in the moment, and he doesn't just let it slide. Though he acknowledges he speaks out of turn, he steps up and calls them out on it. And as strange as it sounds, I can already see the game leading to a moment where he is just gonna snap and fly off the handle, and I am PRAYING for it.

Dracul - I understand why Dracul died so soon, but I also wish he didn't. He was genuinely super cool and fun and I really hope Antebellum gets a school mode-esque minigame where we can get to know him a lot better. Especially since he and Shinku may or may not have a romantic connection, or HAD a romantic connection before anything else. His death left me incredibly bitter, especially when you discover Maiko's reasoning for it, as well as what she actually did to him, but I accept in the end that was the point.

Ismene - Might need to go a little further in with Ismene before I consider her top-tier, but so far she's pretty good. I'm eagerly awaiting to see how the story progresses with her and the conflict surrounding her.

Mononeko - I'm gonna get the mascot out of the way just before anything else, but Mononeko is kind of bland because he isn't any different from Monokuma. I suppose there's a limit to how much you can change the mascot character, but it's been done before with the likes of Kokorosaru (Kill/Cure) and Kou (Heartless Deceit) and I kind of wish there was a LITTLE more difference.

Maiko - I think I've made my opinion on her pretty clear at this point. As a person, I think she's absolutely detestable, and at the risk of sounding hypocritical with me being the creator of Kuripa, her whole vigilante thing took her down a very dark path and she evidently lost her mind a long time ago, and even her tragic backstory surrounding her whore of a mother doesn't excuse what she's done. That said, I have to bump her up a few tiers because the writing of her is very very good. They paint her in a sympathetic light, but not in a bright enough one that you can forgive her for what she did. After all, her primary motive for cutting open Draculs intestines and sticking him onto a giant cake was 1) Because he admitted to SHOPLIFTING as a kid, and 2) because her lead role as the character Melody Pretty; a character she became so obsessed with and who she found so much salvation with, that she started to believe she was the character in real life; was at risk of being replaced by someone else if she didn't kill someone.

Alora - She is INCREDIBLY boring. There is effectively NOTHING to her, at least not at the moment. I'm sure my opinion of her will change if she ends up getting better character moments later down the line, but I'm not really about characters who literally have one expression

Taka - The more I see of Taka, the more he grows on me. I do find it a little unfair that everyone was giving him shit at the end of trial 1. Yes, ok, tampering with crime scenes for a reason like wanting to be exciting is the ramblings of a crazy person, but instead of being in a situation like Kokichi or Nagito where they're doing it for the sake of complicating the case and making things difficult for everyone else, Taka doesn't seem to completely realize the complications of his actions until they're brought to light. Also, I was able to see his lego brick rant at the beginning of Chapter 2 and that was very funny. I think he's pretty solid so far.

Asuga - This is another character who I think I need to spend more time with before I actually formulate a real opinion on her. She's cute and funny and I do like her so far, but I haven't been given many reasons to LOVE her yet.

Eiichi - Eiichi is cool! I don't quite know what I was expecting from someone with the title of Ultimate Gacha Player, but I like how he's handled. People who play that kind of game typically get a bad rep, to which I like how he's not represented as some gross gamer trash, a la Hifumi. No, he's a genuinely nice guy who just wants to lend a hand, and I appreciate him for that.

Takiko - As much as I hate the Ultimate Sister talents in these games of fangames (like the Sada twins from Hope Restoration) Takiko is pretty nice. It is a very interesting concept having a child in a Killing Game where everyone else is adults, but also having that child NOT be a prodigy and just being a normal clueless kid who doesn't understand the concept of death. I think it's very creative and I'm here for it.

Yui - I have absolutely no idea why, but I DON'T FUCKING LIKE HER. Something about her really rubs me the wrong way, like she doesn't take any horrific thing that happens in the game seriously. And not even in the same way Ibuki does! Ibuki at least REACTED to the deaths and participated in the class trial as best she could! But for some reason, Yui seems weirdly at ease with everything bad that happens and makes me incredibly sus of her. I remember how post Dracul's death, she was complaining about her party was ruined, and Shinku tells her "Somebody is dead and you're upset about how your party, which was an obvious set up for someone to be killed, was ruined!? That's fucked up!" And I just thought "...YEAH! Yeah that IS fucked up!" Because I'm just so used to Kodaka's writing I don't give lines like that a second thought, but I'm not sure what it is, I'm getting MAJOR Kanade vibes from Yui.

Lyra - Lyra is my favourite character in the game as of this point. While I do think she might have ties to the deeper conflict of the game, at least she's an interesting and funny character that really gets me engaged with this game. Her dialogue is pretty golden at times and I just like her personality overall. She's cool, cute, funny, entertaining, and so many other great things all at once.

Emilia - Emilia hasn't given me many reasons to like her so far, but I don't DISLIKE her either. I will give her credit for at least being self-aware that she's kind of a bad person, and I can see she's trying to better herself. But until she's actually able to do that, she remains on the latter end of my ranking.

Mint - I think he's pretty nice. I do get the feeling he might snap at one point because everybody bullies him, but he's cute and I like him. I want the best for him and he's a precious bean. (Also lowkey loved seeing him in a dress)

Kotaro - Same case really. I do find it sad how the fact that he bribed his way into good education is never really dropped, despite the fact that Ismene and Mint's crimes revealed at the same time are definitely a lot worse. And I know there's got to be more of the story (I haven't done his FTE's by the way) because he IS genuinely a smart kid who knows a lot, so I know he deserves his Ultimate Talent. My guess is it may have something to do with family or health circumstances that stopped him from going to school; which I can relate to because that's a position I was in for a time during my early uni days. While I wouldn't go as far as to call him a fav, I still like him a lot.

Kiyoshi - I don't like him, but I don't think I'm supposed to. On top of him being an arrogant jerk, I had my suspicions about him being this creepy weirdo behind the scenes, and it turns out I was right about those. Not only with his crime reveal, but also the fact that he stalked Alora and Ismene, as well as the fact that he isn't even remotely apologetic about kidnapping girls, then blackmailing them into silence. But again, I don't like Kiyoshi, but with the way his character is set up, I think that's the point. You're not SUPPOSED to like this dude.

Rei - Last of all, I like Rei for the same reasons I like Lyra. I also like the fact that he’s this little stirrer of chaos, seeing Shinku step up and be like “Hm, yes, how far can I take this?” And I feel like as a character and with his talent, he has a lot of potential later down the line.

//My final list is this:

-Mod

[lorekeeper-backset]

You know what, here, have my "Why I love ORAS" essay I wrote for Playwriting class. Presenting:

How Pokemon Rotted my Brain (In a Good Way)

I’ve always been a fan of video games. Ever  since I was really little and watching my dad play games I was too young to play on his Playstation 2 or XBox 360, and then later when I was playing games like Lego Star Wars and Lego Batman on those same systems and later ones like the Playstation 3. But there’s one system, and one game, that have stuck with me to this very day. Not just in a metaphorical sense, in a literal sense.

To call the Nintendo 2DS a toy would be inaccurate. Such a complex device of computational power, all that fun and joy packed into that little tiny system. No, it was much, much more than a toy. It was, and still is, my most prized possession. 

I don’t remember when I received it. I remember that before I got it I would play 3DS games on my Dad’s 3DS and that when I got it, I used my own money to pay for it and that I got it instead of the 3DS because it was 30 dollars cheaper and they played the same games (for reference, a 2DS is the same system as the 3DS without the 3D function).

There are many games I played on that 2DS, almost all of them near and dear to me. Kirby Triple Deluxe, Kirby Planet Robobot (a personal favorite of mine), Pokemon Y, Kid Icarus Uprising, and many others. But one particular game has endured with me to this day. A game I’ve replayed time and time again, Pokemon Alpha Sapphire, released in 2014.

While my introduction to the Pokemon franchise was Pokemon Y, the game that made me love it was Alpha Sapphire. Along with its counterpart, Pokemon Omega Ruby, Pokemon Alpha Sapphire served as a remake of the Generation 3 games Pokemon Ruby and Sapphire (released in 2003 in Japan and 2004 in US). Pokemon Alpha Sapphire took me on an incredible Journey through the Tropical Hoenn Region, collecting Gym Badges and putting a stop to the evil machinations of Team Aqua. 

Particularly close to my heart, is the story. I’m sure a lot of you are quietly scoffing at the idea of a Pokemon Game having an engaging story. Especially a remake of Ruby and Sapphire whose main antagonists’ goals are famously “Expand the Land” and “Expand the Ocean” respectively. And if you’re one of those people who’s scoffing all I have to say is, go play Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire (or any Pokemon game post Gen 3, really) or, if you’ve already played them, replay them and pay close attention.

If you do, you’ll get to experience the tale of a man whose given up on humanity to the point where he’s determined the only way to fix things is to start over. The story of a man whose dedication to humanity’s progress means he is willing to endanger the world to provide more land to live on and try to fix overpopulation. The woes of a man who had power and riches but is crushed beneath the burden of responsibility which he refuses to share or pass off to another, attempting to carry it all alone, even when he would rather be pursuing his true passion for geology. The tragic tale of a woman who was raised for one purpose, one sole reason to exist, but whose destiny ultimately passed her by. And many more.

When I first played it I didn’t quite absorb all this, being 10 years old, but now, many years later, the story and characters of this game impact me deeply. They influence the stories I tell, and the characters I write. I even write my own stories about them, continuing their character arcs or retelling their stories in my own way. So, yeah, Pokemon Alpha Sapphire, the best Pokemon game, I’m not taking criticism.

[officeobject]

Tw for 9/11:

I had a dream, where people kept making jokes about 9/11. I also had some annoying people dislike me for some reason - I don't quite remember what happened - and also some teenage boy I had to start my morning routine with, outside of home. We walked by something, which I pointed out as a building on fire - a tall and important one (to the dream, IRL it can go fuck itself though), so we were told, we HAD to go in there, if there was no fire in our specific department, to get our passports and other important documentation (pretty sure most people have passports in their homes but okay), so I said that there was no way I was gonna fecking do that (and if you're in the same situation, fecking DON'T), and someone said it at the same time, so we just agreed to PRETEND to go in to get something and that we just happened to not be able to get it before it burnt, so we went in, some cocky teenage intern was mopping the floor at the entrance, some people were at some hair salon but without the hairdresser who I concluded had fled, and just stared, and I considered telling them there was a fire (yes they'd probably know), but I continued, went out, regretted not going after my passport (aka the right choice in that situation), went out, and I also had a dream that my baby doll could shit and pee realistically in a real diaper, and I hated that, and we needed more diapers, like, RIGHT THEN AND THERE, and it was A LOT of poop, and I needed more pads, and no the literal doll didn't ONLY poop when you feed it, and also my mom decided to write to the YouTuber, "Negative Legend", who was making a give-away of some rare/original Lego Batman, and my mom wrote like "I don't expect you to give me Lego Batman/I know you probably won't send me Lego Batman" and wrote why she wants it, and I of course suggested that she added that she had kids and all (and leave out details that makes it non-tragic), which she didn't, but she DID attach a traditional drawing colored by pencils, of Lego Batman, which honestly a kid could've drawn, and my mom draws better, and my brain is nervous for the day and/or is still feeling the emotions from the dream, so no, I haven't fully woken up, but holy shit, that was horrible, every part of it.

[benefits1986]

GPT Gigil Pop Cult

Eto ang isa sa top search result na nakakatawa at nakakatuwa rin naman.  Pa-deep everywhere. Sub strains, intuition, non-profit turned capitalist machine, talaga ba? LOL. Saka ‘yung tone of voice nilang dalawa, sobrang ugh din. ‘Di ko sinasabing masamang i-turn your passion into profit. Nope. Big no. Pero, ‘wag kang magpo-podcast ng wala kang masyadong baon kung ‘di kuda. Bitbit ka rin ng context. Tapos hanap ka rin ibang lodicake kesa kay E. Musk kasi ang dark masyado ng mga tinatawid niya kahit naman very impressive ng kanyang folio. ‘Pag pinayagan na niya mga junakis niya na magkaroon ng freedom pati ‘di na niya lespu mga jowa and ex niya, puwede mo pa siyang i-reconsider. LELS. HAHAHAHAHAHA. :P Try mo, because, why not? 

https://open.spotify.com/episode/6rAOusZcsuNtCv8mefmwND Some stuff worth looking into bago mo gawing go-to ang kahit anong AI ‘yan are the following:  -Saber Marionette (LOL. Rektahan, mhie. In Japan, sobrang weird ng culture ng love dolls na in all colors, ages and the works. Handmade na sila for quite some time and talagang makikita mong, humanity is at crossroad dahil even the mighty first world na sobrang dream kong puntahan is going down because gusto pa rin ng tao kahit si E. Mushhhhh pa ‘yan, is real, deep, sagad human connection. EMS. I am not a fan of the whole love doll universe and I don’t judge people who cling to this. Kanya-kanyang trip ‘yan e. Also, did you know, yung mga pedophiles, isa sa mga reasons nila why sila ganun is because they don’t see kids in the classy aesthetic playgrounds sa first world nila? Also, marami rin silang trauma nung childhood nila. And, wait! Sama mo pala dito ‘yung isang viral video na ginamitan ng “pedo prey” na catfish. And, Pinay siyang bata. Pota. G na g na g na naman po tayo, opo.)  -Ex Machina (para bawi naman ang kamunduhan mong ‘di mo man lang i-probe; tapos tawang-tawa ako na ‘di raw napanood nung isa sa podcast ‘to tapos kung ano-anong sinasabi about fear and unsure siya sa stand niya; wag mo kong gagamitan ng excuse na Gen Z ka. LUL.)  -Doraemon  -I, Robot  -Astroboy (bakit ba kasi sa dami ng galing ng bots, wala pa ring cutie robot na may bazooka sa pwet????)  -Prometheus (medyo weird pero check mo na rin kasi feeling ng mga tao sa earth, sila lang magaling to the point na pati Virgin, may pa-trip to the outer space shit na)  -Evangelion -Gudetama (on Netflix para pak na pak; kasi lahat tayo ay itlog, bound to be bulok sooner or later)  -Daimos na literal na about man and machine kagulo pero love story pa rin ang bida-bida; nvm, magunaw ang mundo -Untold: The Girlfriend Who Didn’t Exist (Netflix din ito and gigil din ako dito but next time na; for letting you see why dapat ‘pag may bet ka, meet up in the flesh agad kesa landian kayo to the max sa OL na akala mo mirc days pa tayo)  -Man vs. Bee (imagine mo ‘yung AI ang bee para mas graphic, it’s tragic and fantastic; it’s actually a very, very painful, tragic comedy about existentialism. EME.)   -Maniac (isa na naman pong Netflix, no chill na medyo ugh pero natawid naman. Imagine mo naman na designer drug on trial mode ang AI. Ikaw na lang bahala kung maa-addict ka para in-the-know ka much saka pakak ka.)  -Documentaries about YT and Meta content moderators (huhuhuhuhuhu. Sobrang basag ka ‘pag may pake ka pa sa real world and OL world) -Bicentennial Man (kabog ‘yung mga EP ng Black Mirror dito, mhie tapos sobrang dali niyang ma-chew and digest)  -Lego The Movie (’yung shots and scenes na It’s So Awesome. Everything is awesome, mhie.)  -WALL-E (because naiiyak talaga ako every time I watch this kahit ‘di halata)  -The Artist (sure akong marami pang silent films in BNW ang kabog, but, since millennial gaming tayo, super ganda niya na ‘yung bida is need niya na talagang mag-give way to the new era, in this case, creators and content peeps need to co-exist with AI. EMEEEEERUT.)  PS: Sabi pa netong isa sa podcast is... eliminate world poverty. BIG WORDS much, si kuya. LOL. HUY! World hunger muna pero no, walang AI ang gagamitin para pigilan ang first world countries na itapon ang food waste nila kahit puwedeng-puwede pang gawaing pagpag because, at the end of the day, we are living in a very material world, baby! :D Tigil-tigil ka.  Marami-rami pa ‘yan pero para ‘di ka maoverwhelm sa mundo ng man and machines, ‘yan muna. Gawaan mo muna ng mega Venn Diagram ulit sa papel o sa iPad mong pakak, saka tayo mag-tuos. I’m open to a good convo with sangria, paella and gambas OR puwede rin betamax, gulaman, saka calamares sa tabing-daan. Catch you later, kiddos! Ipon muna ako na pake para makapag-curate na tayo ng mga paganaps sa susunod na linggo onward. :D 

[spicyicymeloncat]

Ooh, maybe Morro for the doodle and opinions game thing lol 👀

Morro

Ahhh shadow the hedgehog! I mean, Morro. I’ll be honest tho, this guy has some wasted potential both in universe and as a writing standpoint. I love a good edgy parallel main character and he definitely has an interesting backstory and I wish we got more of him. Idk this is an unpopular opinion but s5 isn’t my favourite (although as I say that, I watched the first 3 episodes this morning and really enjoyed it lol) since it’s a little all over the place. But he’s still very interesting so I’ll get into it. (Note after drawing him and over analysing him for like an hour, I like him even more than I did when I started writing this lol)

(Ps: currently as of this post, I have no more suggestions so feel free to spam my inbox bc I like writing essays on legos and also drawing)

Morro is actually an orphan (or abandoned idk) which is big sad, and Wu finds him when he’s pretty young and he looks pretty experienced in foraging bins for trash which suggests he’s been alone for a while. Although it’s interesting he, as an orphan child, decided he specifically wanted to climb that huge ass mountain to find rubbish. Maybe he’s always been ambitious and decided “yep I can climb a mountain” or maybe he caused trouble in a village somewhere and had to run away, and decided the mountain was a safe, quiet bet. Either I love how Wu found a child and was like “yeah I’ll teach it to kill”. I don’t think Wu should’ve been allowed to have a child actually. But I’ve noticed, in Ghost Story, Wu talked about how when the fsm died he said he’d leave a message to find his tomb and Wu never found it. Kinda sounds like Wu has daddy issues. And so this arc is now about generational trauma. I think the fsm, yknow as an escapee of war himself, probably raised Wu and Garmadon quite strictly and Wu probably grew up with a lot of pressure, first as practically a demigod, and second as one who bares the duty of stopping/saving his brother from evil. So what does a man who was raised as a warrior at a young age do when he sees a young child? Try and raise it in the only way he knew how. Wu also having to deal with Garmadon leaving and also getting ghosted by Misako at the same time so I think Morro’s company would’ve been nice. The discovery of Morro’s elemental power is interesting because we know that wind was one of the elements, the fsm hadn’t mastered, so wu may have never even encountered it. Also since a lot of the elemental masters are shown to be fighters, it might mean that the EMs typically take up some sort of fighting job in general. Could that mean Morro’s parents may have died or got lost to combat? Maybe that’s why he had his powers so young. The more you think about it, the more tragic it gets. I think, with how much of a good omen Morro seemed to be, Wu probably expected he was the green ninja. Morro definitely would’ve had some hero complex, he came in, made his master’s life a lot less lonely, he’s gonna save the world and help Wu fix things with his family. And when he’s not that, he ends up doing a lot of unnecessary and concerning things to prove himself. He gets a little loopy (and honestly it would’ve been sick if they leaned into that in the present plot actually). Morro ends up leaving to go find the Fsm’s tomb and mannn you can tell how brutally militant the fsm and Wu’s relationship was when the former literally makes visiting his grave a test of honour for his son (Ik he also was hiding the realm Crystal but yeah). And Morro leaves. Which is such a L, especially for Wu considering Wu’s father left him with barely a hint of where he died, Garmadon left him to train far away, Misako also, like everyone leaves Wu. Maybe that’s why Wu didn’t go after him. Not only did Wu tell Morro about the green ninja but also about the fsm’s tomb which lead him to his death, so yeah it makes sense why Wu would be so secretive. Because not only did the prophecy push Morro over the edge, if Wu never talked about his father Morro may not have died.

Morro has a really cool intro to the series, from the VA change of the night guard, to Lloyd screaming off screen, and then the fight at the monastery in the dark, his aesthetic, pathetic fallacy (cool weather sets the mood) and his theme, it’s very cool. I do wish though, we got more of a visualisation of Lloyd and Morro fighting for control it could even have tied back to Garmadon and his evilisation yknow? Also Morro unfortunately has a redemption at death arc which is generally disappointing. He changes his mind about all his bitterness without really any reasoning. Wu doesn’t do anything in the season really until at the very last moment, and it just comes out of nowhere. Like s5 is not on my rewrite list but if I could change anything, one of those things would be giving Morro internal conflict. Make Morro feel Lloyd’s love for his family, make Morro briefly doubt what he’s doing and miss Wu. And mannn I wish Wu played more of a role in this season, in regards to Morro. Like Wu never got to see his own father’s tomb.

I get it though, there’s a lot happening with wu already since he’s trying Nya. I do like how he’s reluctant to tell Nya about her powers especially in the season where the villain is a villain because Wu said too much. Morro and Nya also have a few parallels, both are unable to handle failure and struggle to adapt when their life changes. It’s cool because we get to see Nya succeed where Morro didn’t (and that’s why she’s allowed to wear green). I think honestly this season should’ve had more Kai development considering Kai and Morro basically have the same plot, and it would’ve really wrapped up the staff scene in s4. Like maybe with Kai telling Morro of how he avoided being like him, how Kai chose to protect others instead of trying to earn a title that he didn’t need. Maybe that would have then played into Morro’s redemption later on.

Also how come Morro got sent the cursed realm? Well I have a theory but this is basically Ninjago speed run angst percentage. So to go to the cursed realm ya got to get cursed. So what if Morro managed to curse himself? Like his swore he’d find the tomb or else he’d go to the cursed realm and him making a verbal oath actually held weight because spooky superstition. Maybe he dabbled in dark magic to help him on his quest. Idk I just think it’s poetic that Morro’s downfall is himself. Although I wish I knew why he ended up being the preeminent’s lackey. Hmm here’s a suggestion, the preeminent, in true eldritch horror fashion, is like a goddess, like the compelling call of destiny, that has dubbed Morro as her own “chosen one”, which is why he has the highest status of all the ghosts. I just need the preeminent to be creepy.

All in all I think Morro has a really good set up I just wish we got more of a learning arc for him, just to back up his redemption. Villains like the overlord, or the Oni don’t need character development because they only need to be strong, and villains like Chen and Nadakhan don’t need development because they can just be incredibly smart from the get go. But villains that have shifting moralities need to get justification on why that is the case and with Morro and Harumi, imo I think Ninjago drops the ball, and their final moments of not being awful feel very rushed. Also I love Morro aesthetic and think he should be even more insane actually, have him be weirdly connected to the preeminent and also have him be almost delusional in his quest for power because it would be spicy. But in general, Morro is super interesting and that’s why I think fanon is more popular, because people like to lean in and see if they can push Morro where the writers didn’t (although it’s more likely fanon Morro is just popular because he’s emo). Also a note about DotD, I actually love that special mostly for the villain interactions because it’s just gorgeous. Now that Morro is over his intensely huge drama Queen arc, when placed next to the other he’s kinda chill and love the fact when he shows up he scares the life out of the other ninja, but he’s actually pretty civil and other than he can’t help himself from acting villainous. But he has a sense of honour and yknow he probably would’ve made for a great ninja.

Here’s a random hc to close this off, Morro actually loved pirates and would’ve had the time of his life if he was around for s6.

But that’s it for now! Morro good.

[sugar-petals]

♡ physical affection; levi

↳ NOTE. characterizing boyfriend levi, my passion project lmao! with some sexy moments included 👀

WORDS. ⇢ 7k

tags / warnings. ⚠️ smut, fluff, soft sub!levi x female reader, hurt/comfort hc, angst, shower sex, blowjobs + handjobs + boobjobs (yep. spoiling the captain), face-sitting, protected sex, soap kink, season 3-4 setting, no manga spoilers

Ready for a surprise? It’s not really about what kind of skinship he’s extremely selective about and what not. This is only something people would perceive about him at first glance. Instead, it comes down to how emotionally sheltered he feels. Because of his experiences, that predicates everything else. Which is why Levi’s sexuality is as complex as it is.

But also, in its sudden perfect expression once a person gives him a different perspective: That’s the time when he is touchier. The more in private, the better. The lights down low, with only a candle or two shining from another room. Broad daylight brings the harsh truths and the shaking ground. Nighttime is when Levi feels more intimate and open to caress, down his back and arms, the shoulders, the side of his neck. Done with extreme gentleness, and all of your deep respect.

If you offer him an environment of trust, Levi is open to almost anything and would even magically doze off in your arms for a little while. Breathing softly, resting for the first time in weeks, the brows becoming less tense the deeper he sleeps. You asking if you can stroke his hair (carefully, not messing it up or anything) is something he can’t say no to. The closet romantic in him will fulfill you any reasonable wish as soon as you’d ask anyway.

We know how receptive the captain is to a request, and how much there can be a soft spot for somebody in his heart. If you’re forward enough to just ask, Levi sets himself that goal and opens up. He is diligent with it just as you’d expect. That especially includes the things he says are „absolute horseshit nonsense“ and „disgusting, useless activities“ when reacting to newly formed couples kissing in the survey corps at the other end of the room. Is he a hypocrite and a hater? Actually— not at all.

Levi is a raised rather than born skeptic. Between courage and care, he is always gonna be torn. Both didn’t work in his favor at some point. But at the end of the day, he fears recklessness more than being cautious. Looking at these couples, he knows that they could lose each other the very next day. Or hell, the next hour. Not everybody has 200 titan kills. 

Not everybody is a physically indestructible Ackerman destined and designed to escape death and outlive others whether they want it or not. And showing themselves this vulnerable out in the open is even more dangerous considering all the political intrigues, chaos, attacks, and espionage going on.

When he’s scoffing at skinship in the survey corps, it’s not his intent to ruin the couples and their little happiness in the present moment (nothing he sees as more tragically precious), or say only he can have a relationship because he’s strong enough to make it survive. If anything, Levi is the prime example of how all his connections were doomed exactly because of his status pulling in all the danger. He very well and painfully knows.

What I mean is: He sees the brutality of consequences that can create more misery than if two people would just go about their business. Levi already dreads that the same might happen to him. But after all, the behavior of others is easier to rectify than his own undeniable feelings for you. Which he cannot control in any way, which is why he reacts to others instead. Looking at other people holding hands, he’s also afraid how dabbling in love is a distraction from threats that can even backfire on uninvolved others if someone is suddenly in harm’s way.

Levi does associate physical touch with something that takes an otherwise observing mind off when it shouldn’t be. To him, it creates something so valuable that can become an unintended burden through all kinds of circumstances, he’s seen it all, it’s terrible he had to. And the reason why he has such a torn relationship with it. You really have to know your stuff to build a resilient little bubble where Levi is not constantly hypervigilant and either past- or future-focused.

Which is pretty damn hardwired into him. It’s almost impossible to bring on that kind of atmosphere spontaneously. It has to be ritualized. His intelligence comes with the downside of overthinking and having problems with spontaneous romance, it’s good to direct his thought into something that’s always done in a specific, structured way. You sit down with tea, put the candles on, Levi finishes cleaning his weapons, makes everything combat-ready and usable in seconds, and you carefully lay down on his impeccably made bed together.

Which he never uses, Levi sleeps in chairs. Or on the ground, so he can feel any titan steps in the distance with his whole body, using the cleanest possible mat or towel as a mattress and nothing else. The bed he basically just makes to have it neat, and for you, and to have a spot to lay together. 

But yeah. He will never remove his harness. Not even when you’re sleeping with each other. He’s not once gonna risk having to put it on in a hurry. The only time you will be skin to skin with him is for not even five minutes under the shower. It’s when his cleanliness beats his anxiety around being always ready, which is why that’s a time to fully cherish.

And then, he really has no qualms about you wrapping your hands around his soap-covered torso in the shower anyway. It’s the only time his inner default germaphobe is not vehemently screaming inside his already heavy heart. It doesn’t have anything to do with you, this is about his demons only, confronted with the immense relief you give him. If the latter wins over his mind’s struggle, Levi might draw out the shower time sometimes.

The other voice that tells him ‚don’t make it end so soon’ is now finally convincing him. He will dial down the water stream so he can hear what’s going on outside better to compensate, to know if there’s any ruckus or approaching hazards. Levi has instructed a fast runner among the cadets to bang on the front door under any critical circumstances immediately in the first place.

Levi says he wants to save water, too. He won’t admit it, but he also turns the showerhead to a medium pressure to hear your calm, almost-quiet moans — the barracks have terribly thin walls — better when you’re sucking him off. Slowly, smoothly, not too much spit. Folded towel under your knees because Levi insists, and he is right. The showers in the survey corps have uncomfortable floor tiles. 

He makes sure you won’t get soap in your mouth as well, I don’t have to tell you that he is very circumspect. Levi isn’t usually feeling overly heated in moments like this, but he gets hard and releases fast. You swear his cum tastes like afternoon tea with milk but you won’t tell him that. And who doesn’t like tea and Levi’s homemade milk, no complaints alright.

What’s still a shame is that Levi, always being in such a constant hurry and alertness, puts too much stress on his body for him to become horny all the way. In fact, he often forgets it. He feels numb, and can’t fully take in the sensations. Levi has not been able to feel a lot of genuine pleasure in his life. 

A racing mind is an absolute sex killer, and his adrenaline spikes are so high in combat that most normal things don’t do anything for him. Which is why he brews his tea extra strong. But seriously: It’s a concerning thing. And it tells you to take your time. With his whole body, doing the things he loves the most. And what else could that be? It’s straightforward: Keepin’ it clean.

You make sure that Levi feels extra comfortable by thoroughly massaging his loins and thighs with a sponge during foreplay. Yes, you’re gently working him up. All in circles and light brushing motions. Lots of soap. Suave and bubbly, like silk on his skin. It’s handmade, with oat milk, lavender, and honey. For your honey. You regularly gift a new one to him to try out scents and have supply. You can guess how much Levi appreciates it, to the moon and back in fact. The present box is neatly stored on his office table where he can always see it.

Sending out its balmy fragrance throughout the day, making the room smell amazingly aromatic to him. His nose will never grow tired or accustomed to it. Levi puts the soapbox in a drawer within literal split seconds when someone who isn’t you enters the room. „Tsk, announce yourself when you knock…“ That could even be the newest recruit who doesn’t know anything at all about the place and people. But this is just a you and him thing.

Levi doesn’t want nosy questions from the squad even though nobody would probably even notice the soap laying there in its case, much less ask him about it or the fresh scent in the air because duh, it’s Levi’s office. But it feels absolutely personal for him — so he reacts sensitively about it. This man would probably protect your lavender soap with his blades if he had to. 

The captain is very secretive about your relationship in general. Who on earth would go as far as buy him a new scented bar of joy bi-weekly? At this point, he would crawl on hot coals, needles, lava, ice shards, desert sand, and a mile-long straight of legos (laid out by a maniacally laughing Zeke personally) for you.

Although you wouldn’t allow any of it. Nothing should ever hurt those kitty paws, I mean captain hands and captain feet. You’d put Zeke on blast on your own, luring him with a banana to confuse his senses and then, whack, homerun the monkey into the ocean with Levi’s bristle broom. Problem solved. Anyway.

 Levi wouldn’t hurt himself willingly that way either, the ice shards don’t stand a chance. He has sworn to protect his own life out of self-respect, to honor those passed by living on bravely toward the goal they worked for and being the one always coming home to you. You can rely on him.

So enough about gleaming hot coals and Zeke’s evil legos, back to the point — you already get what I mean. Levi might seem totally grumpy on the outside, but for sure is a devoted man, a caliber as always. He takes all of your presents to heart and is unbelieving as to why he’d be deserving of so much. You prove a point using the gifts as regularly as possible on his body. Where he can feel every bit of your fondness of him. And remember it with muscle memory. Oh shit, this soap does smell so good. As anything on him, who are we kidding.

Dousing Levi with all your attention is the best thing ever. He feels great relaxing with you, and his face softens up. He’s looking at you with a tiny smile in response to you whispering sweet things to him, all while you’re using the sponge on his legs, the chest, and ever-tense back that can definitely use some alleviation. „Thank you for cleaning me“ has got to be the best thing ever to hear from Levi Ackerman. It means the entire world to him. Captain, your mommy kink is showing. His arousal increasing is a natural side effect in no time.

Recently, you’ve been slipping his cock between your breasts as well, and it’s been slowing him down a lot after an eventful mission. While at the same time making him more in the moment, he really enjoys you gradually lathering him up like that. The feeling of skin on skin is amazing. It might be something that… often crosses his mind when he trains during the day, but he can blend it out for the important things. Until you do it all over again, and he ruminates about how much you turn him on until the sun rises.

You also never do a blowjob hands-free. Why would you, anyway? His body is amazingly buff and compact, you want to hold onto those gorgeous lil’ hips and his own hands that need a fair share of holding after carrying the world. You feel him twitching on your tongue when you run either hand over his ass and abs, making sure to trace across all his most erogenous spots there. What’s more: Levi feels really protected and soothed when he feels your palms on him under the streaming water, he can’t explain it.

That's why you like doing shower handjobs just as much. I don’t have to tell you that Levi really delights in them as well and his poker face regularly cracks a bit. His eyes fixate on you, you can tell the connection and involvement. He thinks your fingertips are heavenly, a welcome change to his rugged days. 

He loves how softly they tease and stimulate him with the smallest movements and subtle presses. Yes, Levi doesn’t like rough action, those are vulnerable moments. He has enough brutality elsewhere, violently jerking him off and insulting him would be entirely inappropriate and even scare him.

He’d probably brush your wrists off right away, it’d be so uncomfortable in the silence of the evening. A tender chain of kisses on the nose tip, chin, collar bone, and especially forehead gets him going a lot more. The more chaste and doting the kiss, the more he melts on the inside. 

His anxiety baseline goes down, and he feels like he can let you in. However you guide him and however you choose to indulge him with your lips, Levi is on board, quietly enjoying. Since it’s something that he’s still feeling so new to, leaving you the active role comes naturally.

Stroking him with a deep pace, carefully brushing your lips against his to give him goosebumps — Levi definitely grows into that. In those moments, he really feels taken care of, in safe hands, hands that will stay with him. He’s gonna be surprised just how good something like this feels many times. And be overwhelmed by pleasure to the point where it almost frightens him, he didn’t have that a lot until now.

The satisfaction of a spotless table simply does not compare. Just so you know: He will either be dead silent or mumble under his breath nonstop. That he is okay with you touching him below the belt and even take him in your mouth tells you how much Levi trusts you, how much he knows you love him, and how meticulously he’s already scrubbed and shaved himself beforehand. Yes, the sheer preparation. He puts a lot of work into his body. He couldn’t stand you becoming dirty.

That’s also why the shower is the place oral goes down. And even there, he uses like ten cleaning products to double rinse the stall and himself before and after. Mind you. He sees you eating healthy, brushing your teeth well. Your lips are very beautiful and a masterpiece of nature to him. So it’s not you who he thinks is dirty. Levi is pretty damn paranoid about his own skin and hygiene. If only he would think about himself the way he thinks of your body.

He feels like he has to earn it, be acceptable, and prepare himself endlessly to enjoy touch. Even then, he thinks he must be ugly and revolting. You have to respect him fussing about it rather than forcing him to cut down on his routines. You don’t criticize his perfectionism and see the motivation behind it. So instead, you reassure Levi your own way.

The more he sees you having fun and enjoying his body, the more accepted, confident, and clean he feels. Most people would like to see their partner play up the enthusiasm obviously (unless you have a ‚hiding his amazement’ emo boy kink, which is exactly why you like Levi don’t cha), but it’s particularly meaningful to Levi. Guess why he looks up to Armin’s mentality, and Hange is one of the few people who truly vibe with Levi.

She’s easily amused, dedicated, swooning, excited, and constantly eager. Levi does appreciate a bit of zeal in someone. If you’re a little ardent about touching him, it’ll give his esteem a boost he’s long needed, oh god. Nobody has the guts to praise this guy like that, even if he’s so extremely good-looking. Don’t let him off the hook there. Give him feedback, you’ll be surprised how much it resonates.

It’s already apparent to yourself how keen you are being touchy with him, hell, you’re so in love. Still, it’s a good idea to give him an idea how stoked you are. He doesn’t like it fast and brutally raw without a second thought, but passionate is a whole other debate. A simple „Levi, stay like this, let me do it“ or „Levi, you smell so good“ works wonders. Say what you think and his ease will set in. And I don’t have to tell you that you won’t look like sex is a chore anyway. With Levi, that’s an honor and a pleasure.

That he puts his faith in you and gives you his time is already a massive deal and goes against everything we know of him, what he’s used to, and how his avoidant personality works, being so ridden with losses. And it’s all because of how much you desire and approach him. That’s what it comes down to. 

Even if he’d suffer decades from yearning, he’d not go out of his way to kickstart something, never ever. He’d feel like he’d cause you so much trouble. You wanting him so badly and treating his body like a treasure on the other hand changes his mind.

It proves him wrong all the way. There is still time to enjoy love, the chance is now. Anything else would plague Levi with solitude and self-pity all over again. And the feeling of missing you around in his rooms. Two teacups on the table until he grows old and grey are his ideal of a good life, after all. He will open himself to your emotional and physical presence, realizing how touch-starved he is, and how much it improves his life to have someone to kiss and lay down next to at night.

The even breath at the back of his neck gives him a sense of finally someone sticking around with him side by side, even if he’s gone during the day. It feels good and right to be wanted by you, and nuzzling his face into your cotton dress. Your commitment gives him the little smiles and the silver lining he’s been searching for. He can’t label that feeling, but it’s joy of life and humankind, more than just a willingness for it. He would stay forever pained and bitter if he wouldn’t invite it in now, and you won’t waste that chance with being silent.

You’re attracted to everything about him, tell him, make him aware. The voice, the hair, the mannerisms, his height, his abilities, his mind, his care for others, the posture, how soft his cheeks are, the list is endless. Levi won’t miss how much he’s your type at some point. Which gives him a lot of ease, comfort. You show him that his inferiority complex was an entire smokescreen in his mind. 

He fucking deserves to be called handsome. And by the way — you can lust over him as much as you want when he’s made that time window for your couple stuff. It’s good if you make it as obvious as possible for him. Which is hard to hide anyway. You’ve been masturbating over Levi just sitting there sternly writing something. And he’s like why, and you’re like, it’s you! Look at you!

Levi does want you to touch his skin all over but it’s always sore. And he remains insecure on many days. So he only has particular comfortable spots in the first place. Since hardly anybody dares to touch him, and even if he pats someone’s shoulder nobody would ever be courageous enough to reciprocate, you would feel a bit like a lab scientist. Silently theorizing over him at first even if you really don’t have to. Other people say they’d rather run towards a titan than expose themselves to Levi’s moods, swords, and barking tone after trying to caress him in any way.

News flash, Levi has had such terrible moods since forever because there’s no affection coming to him from anywhere just because people decided he might not need it. And no, he won’t yell at you for touching. He finds it very sweet of you instead. Touching Levi always creates an occasion that will float around in his head for the entire day, that’s guaranteed. He sees how someone goes out of their way and cares for his well-being. He might not like it like standing in the middle of the whole corps, but anywhere else is fair game, at home anyway.

The pressure of dealing with threats he can manage to a degree, and he has lord how many coping strategies. The lack of love he cannot. Big difference that everybody seems to confuse. On top of how he has to be unrelenting in his position because battlefield and the Yeagers being a pain. Most people — except maybe Armin — see that as a closedness to touching altogether. 

The whole world seemingly can't intuit Levi’s craving of gentleness behind the arguably pretty convincing armor, but still. It seems like only a few souls ever think about the Levi that sits down on his bed in the evening completely depleted. You have to make it clear to yourself and him that it’s obviously a one-dimensional way of looking at Levi Ackerman and not good for him.

Which has covertly shaped how he interacts with others in return like a vicious spiral, which is why he blames solely himself for his depravation. And, how severe and untouchable the circumstances made his character. Yes, Levi despises himself for being inaccessible and unable to change it on top, added to how it happened to him over the years. 

Which he had pretty much zero influence on being basically at the gunpoint of life. It’s what you hate seeing the most and comfort him about with brewing tea. It definitely comes back tenfold, Levi won’t take it for granted when you brush out his hair and speak soothingly to him in the evening. „I don’t care, those are all reasons why you’re the apple of my eye“ seems to be what makes Levi’s heart a little mushy in particular.

He is very preoccupied with blame at the start of your relationship. Levi is torn apart by daily guilt and a constantly looming perception of failure to show an opening to his heart. He also crumbles under how the majority of people don’t take him seriously, overreact, or fear he snaps back into soldier mode — he doesn’t — when he does show affection. 

That you gaze behind his reputation and touch him without prejudice is the most important thing to him. You can ignore his mad and gloomy expression, Paradis has carved it into his face for half an eternity (the other half is for you and him when this is over). It doesn’t mean he’s angry on the inside about you. The causes for his madness are way elsewhere, knowing his early story it goes without saying. What made Levi callous and broken-hearted are things very opposite to you.

Those who only see and enjoy his fighting personality probably want him as their poster boy, people who are reflected enough to bother with the idea of a private, cuddling Levi are the only truly caring ones. Because private Levi needs that physical and emotional connection the most. Patting his cadets on their heads is only a little, albeit meaningful moment. The teacup is still half-empty regardless if you wanna think of it in those terms.

Because he can only do so much in terms of initiative — which already shocks people to the point of paralysis, which ruins the moment since he assumes it’s not appreciated then — and it’s only one-sided. Giving isn’t fully making him happy even if it’s his only option given how most people perceive him. 

The teacup only fills to the brim if Levi can let go for like half an hour getting some good ole kitty on your lap treatment. He silently lays there and enjoys your hand rubbing at the back of his neck. He looks genuinely peaceful that way. His hand palms gently at your thigh and knee, and rests there all tranquil while he ruminates about his day and how lucky he is to have you.

The whole ‚theorzing rather than going for it‘ thing stems from you listening to those people a bit too much at the beginning. Instead of asking Levi directly about touch, and to be fair: Not a single human being has done that yet, you try to figure him out at a distance. Which is also a good thing though. 

You learn about many Levi habits others would overlook, misinterpret, or don’t think have any meaning. The more you learn about him, the more understanding you become, the more protective you will be, the less he will avoid intimacy. Because Levi really doesn’t want to shy away, but often his body has too much memory in it to be instantly receptive. So it rather starts with the mind, then.

The irony is. Levi rejecting bonds with others as not to have them weigh heavy on his mind when fighting will only make it worse. You make a statement to him that if he fully immerses himself in what you have, he can fight better and actually be without those godforsaken regrets he’s always talking about. That’s why when you’re having sex, you make him look in your eyes and kiss their lids, and wrap your legs around him very firmly because Levi has to know he’s deeply yours. 

Hugs, the same thing. You squeeze the last curse out of him every time and tell him to hold you tight as well. You do have to tell him twice. Just because Levi is the strongest man in history, doesn’t mean he embraces very roughly. In fact, Levi is not used to this at all. Even more irony. Paradis’ ever-swearing, most badass titan killer with the physical excellence of a hundred acrobats can’t execute the simple act of putting his arms around you in a normal, casual way.

The why is the harder thing to talk about. Last time he got proper, truly loving hugs was way over 20 years ago. From Kuchel, during a time where he was too young to remember these things long-term. Let that sink in. It confuses him when he does it and even more so when others do. Kissing Historia’s hand even as a light official gesture was already completely unusual for him and a first time. 

Levi doesn’t go beyond what he sees others doing in that regard. No extra miles, just imitating. Now think of him with something as big a deal as embracing his lover for minutes. He lets his arms just hang there and you gotta make him learn how to intertwine fingers or how to press his palms on your back. You’re the one holding him tight there, while Levi’s mind and stare go blank, he’s even more speechless and perplexed after confronting his uncle back then.

I’m not kidding. You have to ask Levi to be forthcoming with those things as well, it simply does not occur to him, and he’s unsure about everything there is to it. What a loveless world this guy is in. If it already frustrates you to see him struggle, imagine how deprived he must be. One of his inner blocks is, Levi has major jealousy of guys who are what he thinks a better hugging height. It’s obviously the other way around to anybody who’d be in love with Levi. 

Of course he has the best hugging height by far. What’s not to like? He’s ideal. But in his perspective, imagine all these people above him wrapping around each other in moments of enthusiasm, shoulder-level on shoulder-level, or only with slight differences. And when it comes to him, it feels awkward because they feel strange bending down only for him and Armin.

And that’s probably the issue. Because it’s much better not to bend and try and intertwine, but just have Levi bury his face into your winter coat without a hassle. You don’t have to be perfectly chest to chest to make it work. Besides… romantic hugs are always a bit different. And, you invite Levi to do exactly that with you. Since Levi’s pet peeve is politeness, you’ll also have to show him the difference between mere courtesy and love, he hasn’t fully learned it either. 

But just so you know. Levi is not a naive baby or raging bull in a china shop once he has given his love to someone. He observes well, adapts well. When it’s heartfelt, when it’s the right moment, it comes out almost by surprise, he’s feeling it and he will respond to you. With serenity and intent.

If there’s someone who can be unpretentious with physicality, that’s him. He just has to transfer that to romantic gestures and Levi will be the perfect lover after some time. He’ll end up like, „Eh, so what. We do this hugging thing!“ — Hilarious. Levi, knowing his battle tactics, does have a sort of innate courage to approach bodies: This time, it’s about someone he wants to give pleasure and gratitude to, though. Which will feel very different. 

And you’re a lady he’s all whipped for, that changes everything. He might sort of try to lean at the wall next to you, to murmur about you kissing him after eating cake so he’s full of crumbs „and now I have to dust it all off again, hmph“, but he is not prepared for another kiss and you tickling him pinned against the wall (he’s not ticklish, but you still love it, and Levi has a thing for you being all over him despite his stoic face).

So yeah, Levi will be super grumpy and do the „Oi oi!“ thing, but also turn around so you won’t see the blush. Man, is he embarrassed. He will try to waddle away awkwardly to do paperwork, but no chance if you tug him back by the sleeve, dust off his shirt from crumbs, and squeeze his cheeks into a perfect Levi snoot. I’m telling you, he has a nice pouty face. 

He might assume that you’re out of your mind because nobody has done that with him yet, but once you tell him that you just wanna look at him because every day might be the last, he sees the point of your antics. Merely saying you kiss him just because won’t make sense to the captain, it’s gotta have a purpose for the future.  

So, you will tell him to always remember what your soothing lips do on him before he draws the blade tomorrow, and that he has plenty of filthy crumbs to come home to. „I think that’s right by what we’ve seen today“ is what he’ll admit, and carries you off to the bed to get grinding because all that stuff made him kinda turned on. Or rather, you grind, Levi on the other hand gets flustered. He complains about you being a tease at length since he’s having a huge she-pinned-me-to-the-wall boner. 

You sit on his face to take it even further and as his favorite treat, end of discussion, your goddess is here mister. Geez, you’ll make him a hot mess. That dick won’t go soft anytime soon. You’ll talk to him about when his face is already ruined with cake crumbs, he has nothing to lose, gotta clean up anyway. The grumbling noise from below tells you that the argument is a good one. For good measure, you palm at his trousers to see his legs react and his voice suddenly hitch. Ah, it’s a wonderful day.

Levi knows a thing or two about holding his breath correctly, but what he likes the most is that he feels perfectly sandwiched between thigh Rose and thigh Maria. Yeah, he does consider them his personal comfort walls and hopes they’ll always be there. Congruently, Levi wraps his arms around them, in fact it’s locking rather than wrapping, and you’re like I see wow he’s serious. 

On goes his tongue lapping away between your labia pretty much incessantly. The arousal is so intense, you have to breathe in yourself. Oh shit, Levi is gonna try to finish you off, shots fired. Not fast, but insisting. He does not bother with you panting pretty damn hard whatsoever. He’s calling people like that, but Levi might be the real brat all along.

Fair enough, he currently doesn’t hear anything, which he also loves the idea of. All day, people everywhere are talking nonsense, and now he gets to enjoy perfect silence. His ears are small, they’re easy to cover with thighs. He just goes on and on and gets you past lord how many brinks with a heated buildup. 

There are a lot of evil things Mister Zeke has said and committed, but by far the most offending thing he has yet insinuated is that Levi is not popular with the ladies. Blasphemy, treason, outrage, éclat, trickery, criminal offense, international slander, the most grueling case of fake news since the horse left the building, and no, Jean is not meant. With those oral skills, any lady interested in him would get a permanently bleeding nose and something else permanently wet as you can personally attest to.

If Paradis would even remotely know what he can do in bed (and they would if Connie told them, he lives next door), even more people would run down his house than they already do to get a piece of him. Jesus Christ, the Ackerstamina. But I mean. People are probably suspecting it. 

How can you not move like a god in bed if you can bend yourself into any Pythagorean shape mid-air. Him being a fighter also gives him experience with managing energy when you have sex, I’m not kidding. Levi can even handle you thrusting right back on his tongue, and even your jokes about how he’s getting the cream to his tea now.

Levi is already kind of dripping in juice. His fingers are sweaty, this time it’s something on his face and hands he prefers though. He won’t wipe it off just yet. So you take on the task to put a condom on him — kind of expensive, mysteriously imported, gotta make every one count my friend — and have Levi take you from behind to soil the bedsheets completely at this point. 

Levi lets all the leaking happen, of course he notices, and yet he’s too focused on you gripping his cock hard all the way. So much for walls. Levi has to surrender to the thought of you squeezing him in any way you fancy at this point. That doesn’t just include the face, that much he learned. His cock is gonna fall off, you tighten up so much and make him squirm, Levi’s all blissed out.

He can’t handle your ass either. He just stares like the Founding Titan invented a brand new method to hypnotize the Ackermans or something. Although. Why’d you need to come up with something, though? People they love completely enthrall them already. 

If we know something by now, it's that every Ackerman gets completely fucked in the head out of the blue and sent to another dimension when they’re with the love of their life, no hypnotizing device needed. Levi is clasping his teeth for his dear life back there. People asking him if he’s gone mad he’d answer ‚maybe‘, but if you asked him if this made him lose it he would admit it.

Since he doesn’t know what to do with his hands again, you ask him to place them at your waist. „Properly, now slide in, Levi.“ — He takes his time for the first few thrusts, grunts, but gets the hang of it, in fact he’s a pro in the making. All that vertical maneuvering can turn into horizontal maneuvering very quickly. Levi feels so strange and so good at the same time, it’s overwhelming. How can something he thought would be so dirty be this amazing? 

And since this position allows him to penetrate you even deeper, Levi gets the full experience of being inside of you times two. The wet noise already turns him on, his body feels so warmed up, and he feels really shocked he’s doing this. Although his face won’t show, it’ll be concentrated as before. On the inside, Levi is losing it.

He can’t get enough of your body and how you tell him what to do, Levi will be driving it home in no time. You’re gonna have your jaw dropped by how lusty he can get yourself, but also love how he’s really breaking a sweat just because of your hard grip. Who would have thought. 14-meter class titans got nothing on you. Levi’s entire neck and chest is glazed over. You call him out on it, all you’re gonna get is a little ‚tch, that’s your fault, woman‘. I mean of course it is. He’s literally at your mercy. I told you he’s hilarious.

Little did you know that Levi will straight-up ignore his sweatiness and just continue, one heartbeat at a time, to really fill you out and make you feel good. Can you imagine. Levi dedicating like 20 minutes to make sweet love to you doggystyle. 

He has a good feeling for keeping you just on the verge of cumming. He even reaches around to press two fingers into your clit after five minutes of figuring out his angles. You didn’t expect this at all. It’s as if Levi can read your mind going „but his hands are gonna get really messy, why?“ — he just goes on rubbing and says, deadpan: „Miss, do I look like I care.“

Some dirty things in the world are just there to annoy him. They’re not existing to make his life easier. And toilet humor-related things: We know Levi’s stance on that. Wet pussy on the other hand: Surprise. He thinks of it very differently. Levi is pretty caught off guard by the fact that you loving and adoring him is the reason you’re leaking so much. 

It sinks in (um, literally) that you’re all drippy because you really want him inside. Not to mention that he constantly realizes just how attracted to him you are. Your desire for him, that’s Ackerman kryptonite. Levi doesn’t miss your eyes, nope. That motherfucker is a damn good face reader.

And— How warmed up your body feels in his hands, how you’re breathing. How you’re telling him exactly how to tilt to hit the good spots. How you’re sucking in air when he does just that. How you sound, grip the pillow, the sheets. Your goosebumps all over your legs. How your lips part. How you wait for every thrust. The way you tell him how good it is. Your pulse. Your own sweaty back, letting his hands on your waist slip and slide a little with the rhythm. 

How he’s struggling not to moan his soul out and chokes back. How you’re softly moving to glide off, he’s gonna lose his mind. How much you’re enjoying him and how cute you tell him he is. Whatever you’d ask of him, he’s so ready to fulfill it. You having the absolute hots for Levi is probably gonna preoccupy him for the whole night while you’re sleeping and he sits in the chair.

He’s been shooting grumpy cat level eye daggers with extra Ackerpoison at the corps couples for walking around showing any signs of this. Making all those lovey-dovey faces or going to the back of the barn together. Levi has chased them with his favored broom to whoop-diddly-doop those horndog soldiers back on track, swirling his weapon of choice around to send a sweeping cloud of dust after them.

Whereas now… he has to deal with the fact that he really loves all that horny stuff. Cognitive dissonance 101 is striking him out of nowhere. I mean he’d not fuck in the barn, that one is truly disgustingly shittily bastardly filthy or however he’d word it, but you get the gist. He caught feelings and caught pleasure — and that’s such a good thing.

His problem is, Levi wouldn’t know how to fawn right back at you. Except saying „good job“ like he’d praise a cadet, but he decides that’s not something to say during sex. He’s very right about that indeed. So instead: He will always reply to you accordingly and with Levi-typical honesty. 

If you say you love how he kisses your neck from behind, he will tell you he’s enjoying it as well because damn he loves that spot indeed (titans can tell you a story about it… Levi has such a neck fixation, that fucker). And: Letting actions speak the loudest with him. He’s a practical guy. Levi’s hands can to the most complicated reverse grips and all that crazy human Beyblade shit. Getting you off at his fingertips is gonna be his easiest exercise ever once he gets into it.

He doesn’t even do it to show off at this point. Levi is just that kind of a sex machine and eager to please, not to mention god, is he obedient and a giver in disguise. If Levi were offered the most luxurious, expensive tea available versus your breasts to suck on for a week given he’s free of titan duty… that cup is gonna turn cold. He loves the skinship and he loves giving you a fuckton of orgasms, as many as you like and as many he has time for.

Self-explanatory, this is something he will not feel one bit of regret about. Hours touching you is the farthest from wasting time to Levi. The less he holds back with his love, the more secure things become. He doesn’t feel the misery he thought he’d run into, nor does it feel like a reckless act that’s only something feeble. 

The new soap every other week on his table alone reminds him you’re here to stay and like his every quirk, and make this a private thing rather than something to parade around. You never lied saying „Levi, you’re mine.“ He does wrap his head around the fact that all of this is happening with time.

Levi finds your relationship meaningful because it gives him feelings and exactly that emotional harbor he never had before, and he gifts you the reverence of your lifetime since Levi doesn’t half-ass anything. You reassured and guided him so much, he looks up to that, it breaks down his prejudice against loving more and more. That’s how you’ll feel intimate in all kinds of ways for very intense hours he can spare to make the most out of it. 

From the light touch at his arm to making out until the candles burn down. And if you tell Levi to sell the deal and dedicate his heart, how can he not take that as a serious order. He has to be guarded to put his guard down, and that’s what you can offer him, and he will create something lasting out of it. Promise is promise to him, we all know.

RELATED:  sub!levi hc (tea shop au) | life after war (levi’s happy end)

multifandom mlist | levi writings on ao3

© 2017-2021 submissive-bangtan. all rights reserved. no reposts and translations allowed.

[sketching-shark]

Monkie kid fandom: o well macaques a morally grey character he’s got a traumatic past and Sun Wukongs so mean and evil for leaving him

Reality: Macaque is literally ment to the representative of Sun Wukongs EVIL side and having a “traumatic past” doesn’t justify literally trying to kill people who had nothing to do with it he also traumatised Mk because he can and because he’s connected to Sun Wukong. Sun Wukong choose to change his ways macaque just decided “you no what am going to kill this monk because he’s connected to somebody who left me.” I don’t understand how people try so hard to Villainise Sun Wukong when’s he’s literally ment to be one of the first ever superheroes. 

Haha oh geez that is how it often feels.

Like at this point there does seem to be something of an effort to make Sun Wukong look bad in order to absolve Macaque of a lot of wrong-doing...But as you mentioned, besides it being the case that the Six-Eared Macaque was originally made to function as a representative and/or living embodiment of Sun Wukong's anger and violent tendencies (hence why Sun Wukong's a lot less prone to sudden acts of violence after he kills the six-eared simian in JTTW), given all the murder attempts and manipulation and literal acts of kidnapping/brainwashing/mind control he's committed in the lego monkey show, personally I feel like the dude is pretty much as viciously jealous & as willing to throw people under the bus to achieve his aims as he is in Journey to the West.

Like I know that Monkie Kid diverges from JTTW in a number of ways (a big change being that Sun Wukong had beat up a lot of demons instead of smashing them into meat patties lol), but one of the things that does feel like it's being lost in translation, as it were, is that the Six Ear Macaque was a villain not just because he beat up the Tang Monk, but because he wanted to take over Sun Wukong's entire life and identity so he could have all that glory and prestige for himself. To quote the macaque himself from the Anthony C. Yu translation, "I struck the T'ang monk and I took the luggage...precisely because I want to go to the West all by myself to ask Buddha for the scriptures. When I deliver them to the Land of the East, it will be my success and no one else's. Those people of the South Jambudvipa Continent will honor me then as their patriarch and my fame will last for all posterity." And in order to do this, the Six Eared Macaque had apparently made Sun Wukong's "little ones," his monkey family, his captives through either trickery or force, and gotten a number of them to take on the appearance of Tang Sanzang and the other pilgrims. It's also made clear that in direct contrast to Sun Wukong he doesn't care about these monkeys beyond how they might serve him, given that after Sha Wujing kills the monkey posing as him the Six Eared Macaque not only all but immediately replaces him with another, but also "told his little ones to have the dead monkey skinned. Then his meat was taken to be fried and served as food along with coconut and grape wines." So this monkey is not only willing to risk the lives of a lot of other monkeys for his own benefit, but is also a literal cannibal.

In Monkie Kid (at least according to Macaque, who is an unreliable narrator at best), he had been best of friends with Sun Wukong before Sun Wukong presumably went off to live in Heaven & abandoned all of his friends on Earth. And it is true that in Journey to the West, Sun Wukong had spent over a century of earthly years in heaven just enjoying himself before he gets into trouble by ruining the Immortal Peach Banquet and heading back down to his yaoguai kingdom. So in that regard, Macaque does have justification to hate Sun Wukong for having brought heaven's army to their mountain (of course you could say that starting a war over one banquet is a bit of an overreaction but that's a conversation for another day). What this does omit, however, is that the main reason Sun Wukong went to heaven in the first place is to see if he could get all of his monkeys to live up there, that he had spent centuries fortifying Flower Fruit Mountain from any and all threats beforehand, and that he brings back a bounty of immortality-granting wine, which all the monkeys eagerly drink. And perhaps most importantly, in the following war with heaven itself all of the assembled yaoguai were behind Sun Wukong 100%. He had already done so much for them, and they had already heard about how their great king was made to serve as a stable hand in heaven, and so got some sense of how little the heavens thought of them. This isn't to say that the Six Eared Macaque doesn't have reason to be mad at Sun Wukong or that the Monkey King doesn't share a lot of the blame for the events that led to the burning of Flower Fruit Mountain, but rather to say that all the assembled yaoguai weren't dragged into this war kicking and screaming. They seem to have regarded it as much as a power struggle with great potential rewards and which they could win as much as Sun Wukong did.

But going back to this version of the Six Eared Macaque, I find him interesting because I read him not as morally grey but rather as this frightening, somewhat tragic figure who's jealously of and resentment against Sun Wukong seems to have festered and grown to the point where it's become the sole defining feature of his life; like he's just gone from wanting to literally be Sun Wukong to wanting revenge against the Monkey King, and in all his centuries of living he hasn't allowed anything else to shape his life. After 500 years of apparently not really doing anything, after Sun Wukong made a reappearance Macaque just seem to be targeting anyone and anything that he thinks will let him hurt Sun Wukong, no matter the cost to others or to himself. It's like he was put into the role of Sun Wukong's doppelganger/shadow/evil clone, and he's now hellbent on staying in that position, no matter how much it hurts him or holds him back from cultivating his own individuality or his own story because that's the only way he feels he gain back his past power and/or stay connected to the Monkey King. There is something really tragic about a character who feels so damaged by and/or is so obsessed with the past that they stay in this stagnant position where they never even attempt to try something different from their destructive and self-damaging behavior, but that's precisely what makes Macaque a good villain as well. Besides being a clever and calculating villain, he never developed a sense of morality like Sun Wukong, he still treats everyone around him like tools, and his self-righteousness gives him "permission" to be a relentless monster to MK, all of MK's loved ones, and Sun Wukong himself. I know it's pretty common in media these days to start a villain down the path of redemption & into the bosom of team good guy by having them be hurt by an even worse villain, but personally I would love to see a story arc where Macaque actually has a realization of how horrible his behavior has been and to feel genuine remorse for it (maybe brought about by the violence he's likely suffering at the hands of the Lady Bone Demon, in a kind of "hey being manipulated and hurt for the benefit of others actually sucks oh no I can't believe I thought it was okay when I did it"), but then also has to face the consequence of his former student and former best friend (actually likely the entire monkie crew given the whole kidnapping/brainwashing/mind-controlling thing) never wanting anything to do with him again & cutting him out of their lives completely. I think he could still change for the better under such a scenario, but the seriousness of his bad actions shouldn't be swept under the rug.

In conclusion, I think a "redemption without forgiveness" story line could work really well for Monkie Kid's version of the Six-Eared Macaque in a kind of "you can't just do horrible things and then cry about your past like that somehow makes it okay" way, and smh at the Monkie Kid fandom for all the work put into giving Sun Wukong and only Sun Wukong flak for his and Macaque's fight.

Like if you have to demonize the Monkey King, at least go after him for having been a warlord.

[nicholasnelsons]

I'd rather stick my bare ass on a seat made of pins wearing LEGO slippers than suffer a tragic origin story era for miss Human Decency Who?

no you know what??? you’re totally right. taylor scenes really didn’t bother me too much prior until 5x07 because i knew she would eventually be gone and they weren’t that involved, but now??? idk man i’m kind of over it.

it’s hard enough to keep your storylines straight and add substance to it when you already have the amount of mains that 911 has, and it’s just frustrating as a viewer when there’s so many things that need to be addressed with other characters that literally haven’t been. if they want to do an background story, then why not do it on karen??? we’ve had her for five seasons and we know practically nothing about her. what about albert?? what’s going on with my beloved?? or a michael begins? RAVI BEGINS?? it’s just sus imo.

also it’s the fact that we KNOW who taylor is and really don’t need any backstory for that??? she’s a cutthroat reporter who is going to do whatever it takes to get her news story, and that’s that. it’s black and white. not every character needs a tragic backstory or trauma to “justify” their current actions, and i feel like a taylor background reveal would just be fox’s cheap way of trying to make me sympathize with taylor for what she’s been through, thus forgiving her for all of her wrongdoings, you know??? they could literally just address what happened in dosed and move on.

not to mention, the best thing about taylor was that she WAS unlikable and now they’re doing this weird thing where one minute she’s all “evan buckley this is about you” to “you’re not my only source” and it’s just clunky and confusing. they’re trying to make her a likable character when the bottom-line is that some characters just aren’t likable. and there’s NOTHING wrong with that. she was a character i liked to hate, but now i hate just seeing her on my screen.

[thechekhov]

Due to popular demand, I’m making a 4-part series about how to make a comic! Check out the other parts while you’re here!

1) Thinking of a story 2) Making characters (this part) 3) Drafting pages (coming not soon) 4) Presentation (coming eventually, we hope)

So, here’s the big question: 

How do you make a good character?

I’m going to have us step back for a moment to say:

There is no such thing as a “Good” Character. Because how good a character is or isn’t is subjective. We can argue back and forth for hours about what we value in a character, but no one will ever agree. You can’t make a character that EVERYONE will like, and you shouldn’t try to.

Instead, I urge you to focus on trying to make ONE or MORE of the following:

Relatable characters

Sympathetic characters

Useful characters

“What the FUCK is goin’ on here I just wanna know” characters

I think they’re pretty self-explanatory, but let’s go through it anyway.

1. Relatable Characters:

What is says on the tin. These are character you and someone else could relate to. Maybe they’re a teenager who hates school. (Timeless classic.) Maybe they’re a young adult down on their luck and in need of money, willing to forgo some moral standards to get by. (Millennials, roll call!) Or maybe they’re just like you (or literally you. We don’t judge self-insert. There’s a reason Write What You Know is a thing.)

Regardless of what you want to believe, many human experiences are universal. Some of them are universally unacknowledged, but they are still universal. You want to just be careful about falling into the ‘my character is so special and the rest of my characters are dumb’ trope. That isn’t interesting - or realistic. 

(source: xkcd)

2. Sympathetic Character:

I also call this the Looking Glass Character. 

Even if most of us have universal human experiences, many of our own experiences are also unique to us. Some experiences are things we will never live through - but we can still sympathise with the emotional state of the characters. If a story allows us to experience new things THROUGH a character, we feel connected to them. 

Keep in mind - this character still has to be somewhat relatable. We have to be able to say “if I was in this situation, I would do that too!” Allowing your readers to believe what is happening makes the reading experience more believable.

(I’m pretty sure none of us have been a half-gem half-human hybrid suffering through trying to right your defected-the-diamond-authority war-criminal mom’s past mistakes, but seeing Steven repeatedly say “I’m fine!” as he descends into madness is something we can all sympathise with.)

Similarly, if your character is in the woods and finds a tiny house on the edge of the prairie and it’s getting dark and the house has flickering lights - whether or not they go inside is inconsequential to sympathy. What matters is if they have a good REASON to go inside. Sometimes, it’s not the actions that’s sympathetic - it’s the motivation! 

(My sister disappeared in just such a house! I must get revenge! vs I’m a bored teenager with a potentially unrequited deathwish and/or a crush on a ghost. Well... scratch that, I can sympathise with both scenarios.)

3. Useful Characters

I was previously asked what to do to avoid making your characters into a Mary Sue. This part will be about that.

Let me start by saying: I don’t think Mary Sues are as prevalent as some people bemoan them to be. 

A Mary Sue is a character that is often described as ‘too perfect’ - they can do everything, know everything, never fail at anything, have a tragic past that excuses every emotional outburst, and are overall just ‘too good to be true’. 

I think, if played correctly, such a character can still be a good one. What makes all the difference is how useful these aforementioned traits are to the plot - or to other characters. 

Let’s acknowledge some universal truths (aside from the one about the men in want of wives and the relation of such a desire in proportion to their fortune):

The plot must go on. That’s obvious. 

In order for the plot to move, there must be things happening (in one sense or another). Also obvious. 

In order for things to happen, there must be a conflict or a tension of some sort. THAT is your litmus test for a ‘Mary Sue’ character. 

“If I remove them from the plot, will the plot suffer any holes? Will they impact the plot or impede it? Will their OP superpowers make some other worldbuilding completely useless? Will their incredibly tragic backstory overshadow another conflict between other characters?”

Characters should be like legos - they must have a function within your plot. Looking cool isn’t a function. Well, sure, it CAN be - but it must also be a function that doesn’t break Newton’s Laws. An object at rest will remain at rest. If your Perfect Character is already flawless, they have no reason to change, ergo nothing needs to happen. 

Make your character serve a use within your plot!

4. WtFiGOHIWK Characters:

Do you ever watch a show, or listen to a podcast or read a webcomic and think to yourself “Okay, cool, but what the FUCK is UP with _____? What’s their deal?!”

I like to categorize these characters in a group of their own. These characters are likable ONLY because we all have a socially wired brain that makes us CRAVE comprehension of social background like drugs. We CRAVE THAT MINERAL. And the mineral is - gossip. Backstory. Tea. The DEETS. 

Many characters are somewhat of an enigma, and the initial plot doesn’t give away all their secrets. We get hooked not because the characters are relatable, and sometimes not even because they’re sympathetic - but because their social tension within a group of other characters is RIDICULOUS and we are wired to want to understand them. 

Everyone has their own examples, but one of my favorites is this asshole:

Do I relate or sympathise with Dr. House? Broadly, no. He’s obscene, rude, and most of the time he’s not even the good guy in any given episode. But his morality roadmap resembles knitting directions for a scarf and his reactions to the most mundane situations are FASCINATING. 

(Never underestimate the power of human curiosity and how strongly it can work to make your readers turn to the next page, even if your whole plot is about a dumpster truck on fire next to a fireworks factory.)

Q: So how do I make a character?

There are several options:

- Wait and do nothing. The character will happen when you least expect it or are least prepared. Now they’re in your head. They won’t leave. aaaaAAAAAAA!

- Take a person or another character you know. Change 3-5 fundamental things about them (I don’t mean name, hair color and shoe size... I mean something PERSONAL, like background, motivations, religion, dream job, species, etc.) BAM character. (I mean, is it QUESTIONABLE to write a story about your sister as a lizard who wants to go to the moon? MAYBE. Should she still be more grateful than she is? ALSO MAYBE.)

- Take yourself and change uhhh... at least one thing about the character. Try to veil the fact that it’s actually just you. Fail. Wipe away tears. Write the story anyway. Hope no one notices. 

- Write a story in your head and then think “Who is the LEAST likely person to participate in these shenanigans?” There’s your character.

Q: What should I avoid in a character? 

Honestly, you can go around to 100 people and ask this, and they’ll give you 100 different answers. What people dislike and like in characters is so vast that there’s NOTHING you can do to stop people from hating on a character. 

But yes, there ARE some overused tropes and I want to share 1 rule that I personally keep to when making characters. (Keep in mind, this is MY personal list. It isn’t the end-all-be-all, and yes, you can argue about this. But don’t @ me, I don’t care.) 

DON’T describe your character as “______ is kind and friendly until you piss them off - then they will kill you.” 

This has been my biggest pet peeve since high school - and it’s unfortunately an absolute staple of any YA character. Someone is ‘friendly’ and ‘nice’ and ‘shy’ UNTIL - you hurt their friends. Then they go berserk. 

I know it’s tempting because ‘usually demure character lets loose their True Potential’ is a very empowering thing to see. (And I admit, I think Mob Psycho 100 pulled this Trope back in by the scruff of its neck and managed to get JUST the right angle for it to work.) 

BUT it’s overused and it tells us absolutely NOTHING about your character. It’s a calorie-free fact. Feels like a description but is actively devoid of any interesting information about your character. 

Why? Because literally EVERYONE is like this. 

We are all, at a baseline, somewhat friendly. That’s... just how most people are. Societal convention tells us we must behave with some semblance of dignity and respect towards others in standard situations in order to keep peace. 

And I daresay getting pissed off and Breaking Character is ALSO a thing that most humans experience. Getting angry when your friends/loved ones are hurt is the bare minimum necessary for being relatable. 

Not to say your character can’t do this but - it doesn’t need to be described as a part of their personality any more than, say, the fact that they have hair on their head. 

Q: How do I make my character more believable? 

Research.

We all hate that word, because school usually teaches us to think of research as boring but it is ESSENTIAL to your desire to make ‘good’ (relatable, sympathetic, useful) characters. 

IF YOU PLAN TO WRITE FOR AN AUDIENCE, THEN YOU NEED TO PUT IN THE EFFORT OF MAKING YOUR CHARACTERS MULTIDIMENSIONAL. 

That means - knowing their background. Knowing details. Knowing cultural, financial, religious terms you need to know to write them believably. 

I know, I know - what if I’m just writing for myself? you say.

Well, fine. If you’re not planning to have your work be widely public, if you’re just having fun and don’t care, then write whatever you want. Make a Japanese character with a Korean name. Force your UK characters to use USA slang. Forgo any historical accuracy. Change up facts! Erase the moon landing, whatever.

But if you want to share your work with people, and if you want people to interact with your writing on a more serious level, then you NEED to know how to use Google and gather at least SURFACE information what you are writing. If you don’t but pretend you did, people WILL be jolted out of their zone.

Research the things and people you are writing about. And more importantly - READ about the experiences of the people you are writing about! Avoiding Stereotypes in this day and age is EASY. You literally have an endless, free encyclopedia in your hands. If you can send a tumblr ask, you can google it. 

That’s all for now, and CHEERS!

[secretive3amramenmaker]

My Opinions On Jujutsu Kaisen That Literally Nobody Asked For

I finished binging the Jujutsu Kaisen manga in 48 hours. I am having some expresso, because I’m depresso.

Here’s a Sad Stitch to show you how I feel.

(And of course, warnings for discussion/ranting/kinda meta on the Jujutsu Kaisen manga below the cut, so please read at your own discretion!)

Sukuna is truly a Bastard™, along with Mahito. 

I just- *cries in Shibuya Arc aka PAIN*

*Pulls out megaphone* Nanamin. 

That’s all folks. Thanks for reading, have a nice day!

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(Just kidding!)

Ugh, NANAMIN 👏 WHAT 👏 A 👏 MAN 😭 😭 😭 😭 I became a certified Nanami stan once I saw the tired business man aesthetic (plus, his words about how work is shit? Truer words have never been spoken), and his little speech about adults and responsibility, how children no matter their circumstances are still children, and should be given the opportunity to act as such. Because, YES, FINALLY, A RESPONSIBLE ADULT WITH THE VOICE OF AN ANGEL aka the voice of Kenjiro Tsuda

Anyways, I love how the Jujutsu Kaisen manga shows that adults can handle things, and that is A-OKAY!!! If Jujutsu Tech follows the Japanese school system, Yuji is a first year in high school, so he’s probably 15 or 16 years old, way too early to go through Shibuya level of trauma (though, I think anybody is too young to have to go through what happened to Yuji in Shibuya). 

Children should have the privilege to be children. That doesn’t mean coddling, it means that children should have plenty of time to experience new things, enjoy being a child, and I’m so happy Nanami says this! 

In conclusion, Nanami deserves happiness and a vacation to Kuantan 🥺

YOSHINO JUNPEI!!! He and his mom deserve happiness, they’re both precious beans. I didn’t even realize Junpei was dead until 5+ chapters later. But it was too late, for I had already gotten attached!!! *cue curse worthy screeching* 

I was so excited for Junpei to join Jujutsu Tech, too! I had this whole headcanon of Junpei being HAPPY again, talking about movies with Yuji, interacting with the other first years, him seeing Panda for the first time!!! The thing was, back then, it wasn’t headcanon! I thought it was going to be facts, until Gege said ‘lol, you thought, peasant’, before spitting on any hope of mine for a happy Junpei.

(On a completely different tangent, I would be SO psyched if I got to meet a talking panda, we could act out all of “Kung Fu Panda” together, especially the chopstick scene, and maybe we could go to a zoo, just to mess with the zookeepers about a honest to god PANDA walking on its hind legs around the zoo)

‘If Junpei had lived’ is a phrase I think about a lot, and I think that is why the “Young Fish and Reverse Punishment” arc  was so crucial to the story and yet so tragic. 

Junpei has so much potential to be happy, and then he didn’t get the happiness he deserves. It really sets the tone, the high stakes to the whole manga, for we see the amount of damage a curse inflicts on somebody who could be in a situation like Junpei. 

As the readers, we understand the reasoning behind Junpei’s ideology, sympathizing with him as we see what horrible torment he has to go through. That very first scene of this arc, where the bullies made him eat the cockroach and BURNED HIM WITH A LIT CIGARETTE, and the teacher who saw all of this happening, JUST TURNS AWAY!!! It was haunting. But finally, finally, we get a light at the tunnel for Junpei in the form of our lord and saviour, the cinnamon roll of cinnamon rolls, Itadori Yuji. HERE is a person who is able to connect with Junpei, who wouldn’t dismiss how Junpei’s circumstances or feelings. and then Junpei dies.

(look at this cute face, how could you Mahito?!)

Also, the symbolism in the opening? The Junpei fish ENLARGING??? HNKDJSFLJDSF JUNPEI NOOO-

Also ALSO (sorry this is the last ‘also’), did we ever learn if Junpei was a sorcerer, or was he a window that possessed enough talent to summon a shikigami? I at first thought Junpei was a window, since he was able to see Mahito, and was hoping that we’d get a more detailed explanation of what windows actually do. (Do they just wander around Tokyo, or wherever they live, and act all ‘La Dee Da, just living my regular, normal life, oOOHHH is that a special grade? Tell that to the sorcerers, maybe I’ll get a bonus!’ Is their life basically a demented version of Pokemon Go? I have so many questions-)

All the villains were well written, and had super cool character designs. My top three villains other than Sukuna, my top three villains are Geto, and Mahito.

Geto’s backstory in the Hidden Inventory arc was so incredibly written, I especially liked the way Gege wrote how Getou’s righteous ideals gradually deteriorating throughout the Hidden Inventory arc as he realizes the depth of the curses of humanity, the dark hatred the “weak” hold towards things they have no understanding of. (i.e. Riko’s death by the Star Religious Group, Haibara’s death, and finally the villagers ignorant treatment and abuse towards Geto’s twins, Mimiko and Nanako, beating and imprisoning them for “causing” the deaths of the villagers) Geto’s chilling charisma and the reasoning behind his actions as a villain makes him a top tier villain in my eyes. 

As for Mahito, I love to hate him, and that why I think he is a great antagonist. I guess I’ve just been seeing a lot of villains that because of their tragic backstories, the readers or characters sympathize with them and rationalising their actions, turning the villain into a flaky antihero of lesser impact. It’s very refreshing to have a villain who is just pure evil. 

I think that Mahito fulfilled his purpose as an antagonist very well; his twisted ideals on the worth of human life foiling Itadori’s own ideals of giving others a “proper death”, the curse making Yuji continuously adapt both physically and mentally to defeat him. Physically, by learning new spells and techniques to defeat Mahito, such as the Black Flash (and possibly his own cursed technique! The weird “Past That Never Happened” in the fights with Choso and Todo), or mentally, by questioning his ideals, such as what exactly is a “proper death”, after Yuji had to kill the transfigured humans. 

(Ew look at this worm.)

Some Honorable Mentions of Good Villains IMO: Jogo, because I find his ideals of curses, who stem from the true emotions of hatred and fear, being superior yet suppressed by the emotionally faceted humans is definitely fascinating, and eerily reminds me of Geto’s hatred towards non sorcerers.  Dagon was pretty cute in his Cursed Womb stage, and I really liked Hanami because the eldritch environmentalist aesthetic is pretty coolio  👌 .

How do Inumaki children learn to speak if all the adults barely talk, only saying inane words like “salmon” and NOT ACTUALLY meaning “salmon, the fish” but an adult secret code for a definition that you might not even know?? Or do the adults just charmspeak the kids, like “SPEAK small child, and have full language comprehension, O tiny ball of pudge!” and boom! Babies talking in complete sentences, maybe understanding weird adult customs. Will the child know when then adult actually mean salmon, the fish, and not the code word salmon?

Let’s assume that Inumaki clan children from learning to speak to four or six years old will be able to speak normally until the clan technique sets in (because that’s when the jjk wiki says cursed techniques kick in). How do you explain to a toddler: “Hey sweetie, happy birthday, have a present! Oh, by the way, those cool tattoos of yours mean that you can’t talk normally to anybody anymore, EVER. Only using these specific words as code to mean these specific meanings, restricting any chance of normal interactions with non-sorcerers if by some inane chance you DON’T want to become a child soldier jujutsu sorcerer. Welp, guess you have to become a jujutsu sorcerer now! Make sure to restrict your choice of words, you could kill somebody! Have fun playing with your Legos honey, welcome to adult life.” Like, EXCUSE ME? 

You can’t tell mw a four year old is expected to understand that (or didn’t kill somebody by accident via cursed speech. That MUST have happened at least once). 

This is all an elaborate way of saying please give us Inumaki backstory, I’m very curious.

Anyways, thank you for reading my post, and I hope you have a nice day!

[naruto-bottom-text]

PSA

It has come to my attention that apparently this might not be clear: nothing I post on here is serious. This is all ironic, absurdist, dark humor(and no, that is not to imply that it is GOOD lmao. Its all subjective)

I do not legitimately get horny for Sasuke x Bob the Tomato. I do not legitimately think Naruto has 2 brain cells(he has at least 86 billion like the rest of us) I do not legitimately think Obito is a SIMP or that the friendzone is the literal reason he 'started a war'. Technically, Madara is responsible for everything and everyone's - Obito, Itachi, Sasuke, even Naruto - trauma anyways, bc he's a sick bastard who planned it all and is honestly insane just like Itachi and the rest. Is he insane from grief/childhood trauma? Antisocial personality? Narcissism? All of the above? Who knows, but that's a whole tangent, and highly speculative.

Along those lines, I do not legitimately put Madara or any other actionably immoral character on a pedestal. Do I think he's fucking evil? Yes. Do I think he's fucking hot? Yes. To quote Danny Gonzales: "Why do girls like 'em bad? I don't know, but its true."

[Sorry - refer to my Sakura post for an explanation on that front.]

Continuing, do I legitimately think suicide/murder/trauma/abuse is funny? Of course not. It's all fucking tragic, and frankly all are very personal issues. Hence coping via justgirlythings and other beyond stupid shit. Tbh, the entire show is fucking tragic for many reasons, be it backstories, or the plot holes, whatever the fuck kind of hail mary Kaguya was, Sarada genuinely wondering if Sasuke has the sharingan, the blatant homophobia in canon(esp. Boruto), etc.

Anyways, I know this is a shitpost account and probably none of my miniscule followers care(still appreciate u tho), but I'm not known for doing non-embarassing things. So I wanted to be clear about this stuff, even if it doesn't need to be said. Now back to our regularly scheduled programming: lego naruto

[spidercakes]

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five

Warnings: smut, light D/s dynamic, feminization.

*

Peter straddles Tony’s lap, one hand curled deep into Tony’s hair as he tilts his head to the side. Tony does most of the work for him, panting heavily as Peter kisses his way down his neck, hands on his ass squeezing. He’d thought about restraining Tony but that’d be a pain in the ass in the back of a car and he likes the attention anyway. Tony mewls as Peter nips at his neck, back arching up into him. “Yes, Peter,” he says, breathless. “Bite me baby, yes, like that- oh!” Tony says, arching up into him again as Peter bites at his neck gently. He hadn’t expected Tony to react so well to it but he can smell the arousal on him and the small little noises he’s making are fucking delicious.

“Didn’t think you’d be into that, baby,” Peter murmurs, nipping at his neck again and delighting in the sharp moan Tony lets out. He never really got what the hell alphas found so attractive about omegas putting on a show in bed, probably because it always seemed like a show, but he thinks he might see where they’re coming from now. He loves that Tony’s so responsive, always giving him little encouragements and praise and occasionally something different when he lets something that he’s into slip, like now. Even Tony had been surprised by their compatibility but Peter isn’t about to complain about it.

Tony huffs underneath him, letting out small little moans as Peter’s teeth graze his neck, teasing. “Yeah,” Tony tells him, “harder,” he adds, arm moving to curl tight around Peter’s waist when he complies. “Harder,” Tony tells him again, other hand moving up from under his ass into Peter’s hair as he presses his head further into Tony’s neck. “Come on baby, bite me like you mean it. Claim me,” Tony tells him and Peter moans, arousal flooding through his body because wow okay.

He bites Tony again, this time rougher though not enough to break the skin like a claim bite would. Tony’s reaction is instantaneous as the fingers he’s got curled into Peter’s hair tighten and his back arches, “fuck, Peter, yes!” he says, head thrown back in pleasure. Peter moans too, shivering in response to Tony’s obvious arousal. “Do it again Peter, please baby feels so good, please,” Tony says and Peter knows Tony knows he likes it when Tony begs. He readjusts the grip in Tony’s hair, pulling at it tighter and Tony mewls, hands shifting back to Peter’s hips and guides them into his own. Peter already knows what Tony likes, doesn’t need his guidance so he moves the way he knows Tony wants him to and shivers at the small moans Tony lets out as he clings to him almost desperately.

He nips his way down Tony’s neck, teeth grazing at the sensitive skin as Tony pants underneath him, noises growing a little desperate as Peter’s bites get a little harder as he moves his way down Tony’s neck. He licks and nips at the spot over Tony’s pulse, earning a small moan from Tony for his efforts as he tightens his grip on Peter’s hips. He pulls back a little, considering as Tony huffs at him, annoyed. “Peter,” Tony whines at him. He doesn’t need to say much more, they both know what he wants so Peter leans back in and bites him again, hard like he had the last time and Tony lets out a shout, hips shifting up into Peter’s. “Yes baby, oh,” Tony says, breathing heavily and Peter grins as he noses at the spot he just bit.

“Did you just cum?” he asks, tiling his head up to look at Tony. He knows the answer before Tony nods because his cheeks are a little red and he’s never seen Tony blush. Usually he’s shameless, sometimes a little too much so like when he decides to tell his whole class about their sex life. Peter grins and kisses him, “is that something you’d actually want?” he asks, “a claim bite?” That’d be... unusual to say the least and the way Tony tenses under him tells him he knows that too. “I wouldn’t really care either way,” he tells Tony. “Its not as if I refused to indulge you. S’good for me too.” The way Tony reacts never fails to get him going because he’s so damn vocal. Turns out he has a thing for that.

“Um. Yeah, a little bit,” Tony says softly. Peter raises an eyebrow and Tony looks away but Peter tilts his head back towards him.

“Stop that, you know I don’t care. How long have you known that you’re like... into that?” he asks. Can’t be new, he’s sure Tony put thought into why he reacts like that given that he’s also sure there’s more shame in his tastes than Tony is letting on at the moment. Alphas aren’t supposed to like being the more submissive ones and they sure shit aren’t supposed to like being claimed.

Tony shrugs, “long time, I guess. I always sort of related to omegas more than alphas. Its why I’m friends with so much more of them.” Yeah, Rhodey is the odd one out and when he’s not being weird he doesn’t really act like alphas are supposed to either. Namely, he’s not a self righteous pushy ass jerk who thinks he knows everything and he doesn’t have the emotional range of a half bent tea spoon with the full expectation that everyone in his life will make up for that fact. So basically he doesn’t suck as a person.

But Tony is significantly different than that too. He’s soft and pliant and he does his best to hide it probably because of social expectations but he’s listened to Tony’s friends talk, people have taken advantage of his soft and trusting nature and Rhodey is still suspicious of him because of it. And that doesn’t even touch on his obvious submissive tendencies. “Hmm. I always related to betas. They aren’t assholes or demure sex objects, they get to just exist in a way I don’t really get to,” Peter says. Not without his own set of social expectations that he’s always resented but he doesn't really want to talk about that so he leans in and kisses Tony again. “So,” he murmurs, “what else are you into? Anything I might like?” he teases.

Tony pauses, running his hands up and down Peter’s sides. “Heels, something pink and sparkly,” he murmurs.

“And I thought you had a thing against all the pink I wear,” Peter says, smiling.

“Well, I knew I wasn’t going to get you to wear red so I’ll take what I can get. Assuming that’s okay,” he adds, wrinkling his nose.

Yeah, its fine. “I used to wear heels all the time. Quent didn’t like them, fell out of the habit. Lucky you,” Peter says, grinning. Tony wrinkles his nose more but Peter figures he’ll make up for mentioning his ex with finding wherever the hell he put his shoe collection.

*

“Look I’m just saying its a sin that I didn’t get to see May lose her ass on Quentin’s mother. That’s hilarious,” Tony tells him.

Peter shakes his head, “it was an entire ordeal and that’s what everyone is going to remember about their graduation for the rest of their lives and I hate that.” But no, Quiet spun some bullshit story about Peter to his parents and his mother decided to be a dick to May about it and Peter didn’t expect her to literally whip out pages of texts from Quent just to point out that her son was a lying sack of shit but boy did May let her have it and with the receipts to back it up.

“Tell your aunt I don’t know her, but I would die for her,” Carol says from the back seat.

Peter snickers and shakes his head. He’s only met Carol like three times but every time she was an absolute delight. “Yeah, I’ll let her know.”

“Also I’m mad you I had to hear from Ned that you let lose one of the best insults I’ve ever heard,” Tony says and since when does he talk to Ned?

“You and Ned talk?”

“You told Quent the you’d slap his five head out from underneath his tragic ass hair cut and you let Ned deliver the good news?” Tony asks. “I’m mad about it.”

From the back seat Carol starts laughing. “Oh my god I should use that on my ex! Yon has dumb bitch disease and I hope its terminal,” she says. Peter snorts and starts laughing while Tony sighs.

“Not to victim blame but you should have known something was wrong with him when you found out his name was Yon Rog.”

“I thought he was Swedish or something, not the human embodiment of the black plague about to invade me, simple fucking Europe. It was an honest mistake,” Carol says in her defense.

“Have you ever met a Swedish person?” Tony asks, frowning at her in the rearview mirror.

“No, but I’ve heard good things and Yon has ruined the Sweds for me,” Carol says.

“You not knowing what the hell Swedish names sound like ruined the Sweds for you,” Tony tells her, snickering.

“Oh whatever, you dated someone named ‘Sunset’ and you were surprised when she was the fucking worst. No one named like a hippie is a good person and I’ll bet twenty bucks her personality was mostly astrology,” Carol tells him, throwing a fry at him.

“Yeah, I think her personality was more inspired by Lord of the Flies but okay,” Tony says. “She wasn’t into astrology at least so there must be a saving grace.”

Peter frowns, “must be? Someone hasn’t had to have a four hour conversation about their star chart. Not to paint a lot of people with the same brush but fuck people who are into astrology. Like really into it, not the horoscope readers,” he says. Tony looks confused and Peter wishes he could relate.

From the look on Carol’s face she also wishes she could relate. “Sometimes I want to know what its like to live in a world where only people named Sunset can hurt me. How have you never run into some astrology junkie and ended up listening to several hours of- I’m calling Rhodey he knows the answer. Rhodes, explain to me how Tony has not dealt with a four hour astrology lecture that’s more painful then stepping on Lego?”

On the phone Rhodey snorts, “turns out you can avoid all that if you loudly proclaim that anyone who believes in that shit is a total idiot with an IQ so small it barely rivals that of a fruit fly then word gets around and people don’t bring it up around you,” he says.

Carol nods, “definitely trying that at the next party I go to thanks Rhodes!” she says, hanging up.

“Pretty sure that was passive aggressive,” Tony says.

“It was but its also solid life advice and I’m going to live by it, can we get McDonalds?” she asks.

“I’ve known you for like ten minutes but if anything ever happened to you I’d kill everyone in this car and then myself,” Peter tells her and Carol grins.

“You watch Brooklyn Nine Nine?” she asks excitedly. Tony looks like he’s already regretting taking Carol with him but he’s the one who decided they should bond, he can deal with the results.

*

Tony has his face pressed into Peter’s neck, scenting him softly and its sweet how needy he is but he has other concerns. “I’m pretty sure Rhodey hates me,” he murmurs, kissing the top of Tony’s head.

Tony places a small kiss on his neck, “baby, he doesn’t hate you. He’s just overprotective. He’ll thaw eventually, its not like Carol and Maria don’t like you.” Carol has decided he’s the brother she wishes she had and apparently she’d never mentioned a brother before because Tony had no idea he existed, but Maria mostly doesn’t dislike him. Its like like they’ve spent time together for either of them to have much of an opinion on the other. He goes to tell Tony this but he leans into Peter, curling one leg up around his waist as he noses at the underside of Peter’s jaw. “Didn’t you say you got some stuff?” he murmurs.

Peter lets out a huff as he grabs Tony’s wrist and shifts them both, flipping over so he’s straddling Tony. He grabs Tony’s other wrist and pins them above his head, leaning his weight into it to keep him there. Not that he wouldn’t stay there if Peter told him to, turns out he’s freakishly good at doing what he’s told for someone with such a reputation for being belligerent. “Can you not be a horn dog for like five seconds, I’m genuinely sure Rhodey hates me and I don’t know why.” Its not like he’s done anything to him, or Tony, so he doesn’t get the suspicious looks he’s getting.

“Baby, it took him like three years to approve of Pepper and the most suspicious thing about her is the fact that she’s a business major,” Tony says. “Rhodey just thinks I do a bad job taking care of myself, which is true in his defense, but in this case his worry is unnecessary,” Tony says, leaning up a little to kiss him. He has only minimal success pinned the way he is but its cute still.

“Well, I can’t say I blame him there. I’ve met like five people who majored in business and they were all the worst. Obviously they aren’t all a bunch of pricks who support treating workers like shit for a buck but I have had bad luck with them so far,” he says.

“Well, if it makes you feel better Carol says ninety percent of all STEM majors she's met are insufferable jackasses who think math is a replacement for a personality and that they mostly just insult her humanities stuff so apparently we suck too,” Tony says.

Peter snorts and starts laughing because he’s met those people too. “Pretty sure no one told them that being able to get a job in theory doesn’t make you interesting or better than anyone. Seriously though, Rhodey hates me so can we deal with that?” he asks, pouting at Tony.

Tony pouts back at him, unfazed. “Can we get back to whatever goodies I know you brought with you?” he asks.

“If I give in to you will you take my concerns seriously?” he asks, lifting an eyebrow.

“No, but only because Rhodey’s worried that you’ll like... break my heart or whatever and I know you wouldn’t do that so he has nothing to worry about and neither do you. Did you get some heels?” he asks and Peter rolls his eyes.

“God, you are impossible to deal with, I hope you know,” Peter tells him as he sits back in Tony’s lap. “Don’t move, I have plans for you.” Tony grins, clearly pleased with this turn of events as Peter climbs off the bed and walks off to Tony’s massive ass closet. Its literally the size of May’s whole apartment and now he gets why Tony thought it was small when its really not. They actually managed to find something pretty big for a good price but if Tony has grown up in houses so large his damn closet is the size of an apartment he can see why he was confused.

He’s got a pile of stuff in the corner that, yes, includes a few things he got with Tony’s card but he’s going to leave them for now. He’s tired and he’s got plans for Tony but they’re nothing particularly strenuous on his end. Tony can do all the work while he sits back and enjoys it. He grabs the pair of heels that he’d gotten just to be nice to Tony and puts them on. They look a little gaudy with the pink he’s wearing but something tells him Tony won’t care much if the red clashes with his outfit. He’s got a weird obsession with the color and Peter thought what the hell, why not entertain it a little?

He glances in the mirror Tony’s got in the closet and he has to admit they are cute, not as cute as the pink sparkly ones he got too, but cute nonetheless. He’ll wear the other ones tomorrow while Tony inevitably pouts about them not being the red ones. He gives them a final glance in the mirror and walks out, finding Tony exactly where he left him, hands still above his head too. “So good for me,” Peter tells him and Tony looks over and smiles, probably noting the obvious height difference. “Come here,” Peter tells him as he gets the the edge of the bed. Tony scrambles over fast, eager, and Peter appreciates his enthusiasm. He sits on the edge of the bed and Peter leans into him, propping himself up with one knee on the bed beside Tony.

His hand immediately falls to the heel Peter is wearing, hand curled around his ankle. “You got red,” he murmurs, looking at them too.

“Thought I’d indulge you a little,” Peter tells him. Tony lets out a soft moan and presses his face to Peter’s chest as he runs his hand over the shoe. “But I will have you know if you have a foot fetish I draw the line. Feet are weird and I don’t like them.”

Tony snorts and starts laughing, “its the shoe, not your feet. I like the way heels look. Especially on you,” he murmurs, looking up at him. Peter presses him back into the mattress and kisses him softly.

“Want to know what you’re gunna do?” he murmurs, not waiting for Tony’s affirmative to continue. He knows Tony will do what he asks. “You’re gunna go down on me, make it good too, and if you don’t get off to that you don’t get off at all. Sound good?” he murmurs in Tony’s ear.

He shivers and lets out a small moan. “Yeah, baby, I can do that,” he murmurs.

Peter nods because he knows he can, and he will, so he climbs off of Tony and onto the bed, shimmying up it until he’s comfortable. Once he is he spreads his legs and gestures for Tony to come closer. He listens of course, eagerly, and Peter runs his fingers through his hair when he’s close enough. Tony licks his lips like he’s about to get a meal out of this and that’s weirdly attractive in a way Peter doesn’t understand.

He does, however, know Tony happens to be good at this so when he starts with small, soft kisses to Peter’s thigh while one hand runs down his leg, predictably to the shoe on his foot, he lets Tony take his time. He’ll get there and when he does it’ll be good. So he lays back, letting the sensation wash over him while he runs his fingers through Tony’s think hair. God, he’s gorgeous.  Peter figures if nothing else he does know how to pick ‘em pretty, especially Tony. He lets out a small moan as Tony sucks at the soft skin on his thighs, fingers tightening in his hair a little. “Come on baby, I know you’re not much of a tease,” Peter tells him. That’s not really true at all, Tony totally is a tease if Peter lets him but he isn’t going to be at the moment.

Tony lets out a soft noise of disappointment as Peter uses his grip on Tony’s hair to guide him where he wants him but he does what Peter wants nonetheless. He moans softly as Tony takes him into his mouth slowly, sucking softly and Peter huffs. “Baby,” he tells Tony in a warning tone, moaning a little louder when Tony picks up the pace.

He sits back, letting Tony do the work while he guides his head a little, fingers curled into Tony’s hair. “That’s it,” Peter tells him, “mm, fuck you’re good at this.” He never really used to enjoy this, Quent always whined way too much to make it worth his time, but Tony has a thing about his partner’s pleasure, doesn’t seem to draw much enjoyment out of anything sex related if he isn’t sure his partner likes it too and Peter’s happy to reap the benefits of it. Tony moans softly around him and his hips jerk up a little as his fingers tighten in Tony’s hair. He lets out another soft moan so Peter pulls at his hair experimentally again, pleased when he gets the same results.

“You like that?” he asks, remembering the way he’s reacted to it before. Hmm, probably should have picked up on that sooner. Tony lets out a small noise of affirmation and Peter runs his fingers through Tony’s hair. “Next time tell me that you like it right away- oh, baby, yeah like that. Just like that,” he murmurs to Tony. Fuck Peter always forgets how much he likes this, likes the way Tony’s so damn into it. He curls a leg around Tony’s back, pressing him in a little closer and Tony moans around him loudly, causing Peter’s hips to jerk again. “Fuck, baby,” he murmurs.

One of Tony’s hands curls around his thigh while the other moves down his ass, fingers prodding at Peter’s hole and he moans. “Yeah, baby, do it,” he tells Tony, tugging at his hair a little. Tony doesn’t waste time, doesn’t need to because Peter can feel that he’s slick, and presses two fingers in. His back arches and the hand in Tony’s hair curls tight while the other hand grips the sheets hard. “Come on, baby, give it to me,” Peter tells him, “m’close.”

Tony whines softly around him, hand flexing on his thigh and Peter throws his head back into his pillow. A thought occurs to Peter and he tugs at Tony’s hair, “wait, wait, wait,” he says as Tony lifts off of him, confused. “Here,” he murmurs, reaching up and undoing the collar around his neck before leaning forward and putting it on Tony. The way his mouth drops open and his eyes go glassy tells Peter all he needs to know. He reaches down and cups himself through his jeans, face pressed into Peter’s thigh as he moans.

“Did I say you could touch yourself?” Peter asks. Tony whines at him about it, giving him something of a desperate look but Peter grabs his chin. “Get back to getting me off, and if you cum in the meantime fine, but this is me time so get your hands off yourself,” he tells Tony.

He shivers and shifts himself a little, taking Peter back into his mouth and Peter moans. He can still see the collar on Tony’s neck, the rose gold standing out a little more against his tanned skin than Peter’s and fuck that is hot. That was another thing he never really got about alphas but maybe there’s something to it, something he’d never gotten before because he was the one expected to wear the collar. Tony clearly doesn’t mind given that he’s throwing himself enthusiastically into it.

“There you go baby, you like that?” Peter murmurs, hand slipping down through Tony’s hair to the collar, fingers brushing over it. “Like feeling like you belong to me?” he asks. Tony lets out a soft whine, rutting against the bed at Peter’s words. “You look so hot like this, my collar around your neck. Should get you one of your own,” he murmurs like he hadn’t already. Came with matching cuffs too and the mental image has him biting his lip to hold back. He can’t fucking wait to see Tony in them.

Tony tries his best to nod, not that he does a good job of it and that mostly encourages Peter’s mental images of Tony tied up, wrists above his head with the frilly collar around his neck begging Peter to touch him, do anything he wants to him. His fingers tighten in Tony’s hair as he toys with the collar around Tony’s neck. He lets out a soft keening noise, fingers tightening around Peter’s thigh in response. “Yeah, you want that baby? Wear my pretty collar in bed while I fuck you?” he says. Tony moans loudly, grip becoming almost tight enough to hurt. “Wanna fuck you too, see how pretty you look-” Peter starts but his words falter as he moans, “wanna see how- fuck, Tony,” he says, trying and failing to finish his sentence. “Baby I’m gunna cum, gunna- oh!” he says, hips jerking up involuntarily and Tony fucking takes it too. “Fuck yeah, baby, milk me through it,” he tells Tony, grip on his hair tight as Tony keep sucking him. “So good,” he tells Tony, “so fucking good.”

When Tony pulls off he’s spent, laying there like the sack of jelly he feels like, satiated. Tony plods off and comes back with a wash cloth and cleans him up some. Peter shivers at the touch but says nothing until Tony comes back empty handed and curls up next to him. He wraps an arm around Tony as he presses his face into Peter’s neck, scenting him. “Want you to fuck me using your slick,” Tony says like that’s just something you say. He tenses for a moment when Peter doesn’t respond right away but when Peter tilts his head up to force Tony to look at him the tension fades from his frame.

“Yes, baby. And I already got a collar, by the way. Thought you’d look hot in it. We’ll go through the stuff tomorrow,” he tells Tony. He shivers in anticipation and curls back into Peter’s side.

“Okay,” he murmurs.

They lay like that for a couple more minutes before a thought occurs to Peter. “Did you cum?” he asks, curious more than anything.

Tony snorts, “baby, I came as soon as said I belonged to you.” Well, there’s some knowledge he’ll use on a later date.

*

Tony and Carol are having it out over the last banana when Rhodey appears in the kitchen looking grumpy. Peter figures he’s not a morning person and he can’t say he blames the guy there. But he does stop dead in his tracks when he sees Tony. “Someone care to explain to me why Tony is wearing Peter’s collar?” he says in a tone that doesn’t exactly imply anything good but its the nasty look that he’s giving Peter, like he’s somehow forced Tony into it or something, that leaves him nervous.

“Oh hop off it Rhodes, Tony might have weird tastes but at least he didn’t cover being a pillow princess up with pretending to be dead,” Carol says.

“Excuse me what the fuck?” Maria asks, appearing in the kitchen and looking promptly disturbed. Rhodey rolls his eyes but gives Peter another dirty look before he makes his way to the fridge. Tony doesn’t say anything, just looks kind of shocked as he walks over to Peter. He wraps an arm around Tony’s waist and kisses him softly.

“Its fine, baby, he just didn’t expect it,” he murmurs. Not, he mentions, that Carol said anything and he knows she noticed. But he doesn't really feel the need to mention that.

[thegreatmercutio]

It’s Star Wars Day...so I thought, I’ll do a random rant reflections:

I wonder how much time has past? As you can see, he has his Sith iconic lightsaber. In which, if you read comics...depending which comic...he had to hunt down a Jedi, killed the Jedi, take his saber, take the crystal...and then he has to make it bleed...turning it red, Sith red.

These are the early days...when there are still “traces” of Anakin lingering in him. However, in my perspective, Anakin was always there, just hidden away behind the persona of Vader.

Depending if you want this, canon or legend...which to me is very disrespectful to just disregard years of comics and novels written by multiple writers with the approval of George Lucas...just because Disney has their own agenda...but whatever. That’s me. I personally, treated every thing that was officially released as canon. Disney doesn’t own my “point of view.”

What’s so interesting and very heartbreaking...is during the early years of Vader...which I really wanna see either in films or a live series (like The Mandalorian) or a movie...was his desire to resurrect Padme.

If you played the game, Vader: Immortal...in the game he tried to bring back Padme from the dead...by literally draining the life forces from all the living beings on the entire planet (there’s lore to it, Vader did his research...it’s fascinating, look it up) and he was willing to kill off more beings if needed. Also in the comics, he built his Vader’s Castle (the one you see in Rogue One and Lego’s) was to create a portal to the afterworld...so he can bring back Padme. And the thing is...to get to her, he had to kill every Jedi he has killed and any important figures (such as Yoda) and also re-live the key moments in his life—both the good and bad, both still hurts (and haunts) him. It’s really dark. It’s just rage, anger, pain, and death.

While all this is going on...he’s hunting down the Jedi’s and taking control of the galaxy for The Empire. And the one that’s on top of his kill list is sadly Obi-Wan. He blamed Obi-Wan for everything. He also blamed and hated Palpatine. Plotting constantly on how he could kill him. That’s the way of the Sith. You kill your masters.

The thing is...which poetic and tragic...was all he every wanted was Padme and his child. He just wanted her back. He turned to the dark side to save her. He sold his soul to protect her. And yes, he also wanted power, but power of the force. He has no interest in being an emperor. Honestly, in a dream he had while he was Vader...Padme was the supreme Chancellor...that’s what I believed he wanted, kill off Palpatine and give the Empire to Padme and he will be her reinforcement.

He really loves her. Love can make you very foolish, desperate, vulnerable,...and dangerous. He really means it, he can’t live without her. As Vader, he was constantly in pain (physically and emotionally) and enslaved and abused by Palpatine. It wasn’t really a life. Very depressing. He was more machine than human.

However, the tragic is...even though it hurt him, losing her and ‘constantly’ being haunted by her...gave him pain and the pain made him...more powerful as a Sith.

In honestly, he could have killed Palpatine so many times...but even so, he had nothing to live for...so like a machine, he just live on autopilot. Doing what he was made to do, but these early years...there was still hope and determination in Vader...very dark and Sith inspired determinations. And he also took in an apprentice, Starkiller...training him to one day, help Vader kill Palpatine. Look at all these potential plots.

For me, Vader would be a great new path. I know, some people don’t want it. Want him to stay kind of a mystery...but he really isn’t. He’s in 6 films and his present echoes in the 3 sequels, especially in Ben Solo/Kylo Ren. And those 20 years in between Revenge of the Sith to the New Hope are already told in the novels and the comics.

All these is a making of a potentially very good series or movie. These so much more we can do. Just hopefully, it will be done right.

...the one he sees Padme. I love it. He has been destroying and killing everything in his path...in his reality and in this dimension...yet the moment, he sees her...he’s Anakin again. He’s gentle, hopeful, and loving. He said this to her, “I can save you, I can save US both.” I interpreted it, by saving her...he will be saved too. He needs her. She has always been his anchor. Without her, the storm will consume him more. Of course, later...he is saved by his son. And in the one of the novel The Rise and Fall of Darth Vader, as Palpatine is killing Luke, while he’s watching it...he thinks of her...his thoughts were Luke is my son and Padme’s son.

Padme’s Son. In a Korean Web comic, retelling...the Return of the Jedi. As Anakin is dying, he thinks of her.

Side note, one of things I dislike about the sequels...is lack of any acknowledgement to Padme. Between Luke or Leia.

And sad thing is, no one ever really knew why Anakin turned.

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh S4 E3: So Many Dragons in This One

Y’all so I’m like getting over a pretty nasty cold that’s pretty much wiped me clean like a hard reset and this episode coinciding with it is something else because this episode is essentially a fever dream start to finish.

First off:

If your mind didn’t immediately start playing ska-like alt rock and go through every lyric from “Escape From the City” then I can’t help you. Because that’s where my mind directly went and stayed for the entirety of this episode.

Back in the museum, Yugi learns about some more crypto-history.

Because Y’all, Yugioh just LOVES to screw with history. I mean we’ve already seen what they did to Seto Kaiba’s timeline, but get a load of what they’re about to do with world history.

(Arthur now has the USA gradient because I was at a loss of how else to describe Arthur. If Bandit Keith comes back then I’ll be mixing fonts, yet again.)

This was done mostly to recap the last 3 seasons, but also to drop in some brand new lore that came out of freakin nowhere.

Atlantis.

Yes, he said Atlantis.

(read more under the cut)

In the actual dialogue of the show, Tea mentions she read a single book about Atlantis once in her life, and then Joey and Tristan go “Tea, you nerd!” and it’s like wow the standards are low in this group. One single book, boys? That’s all it takes to be a nerd? When you have any of the KAIBAS right over there? One single book is the requirement?

Starting to think no one in this universe knows what a nerd is.

So the underwater cave dwelling from a few episodes back is none other than the Atlantis ruins. I feel like this should be a way bigger deal in terms of like all of history, since in this universe, Atlantis is time wise at the dawn of (checks wikipedia)...proto-writing...and yet they seem to really have their math and large construction science down.

The arch wasn’t really utilized (I hesitate to say “discovered” as it is an arch) until about 2000 BC or so. Good on the Atlanteans, I guess?

Don’t know why we’re getting so sidetracked by cards when a civilization 10000 years ago could make immense underwater 60 ft castles that don’t immediately collapse under the pressure, but this is the Yugioh universe and everyone’s card addiction runs strong and true.

It just seems funny to me that Hawkins, who devoted I want to say like 60 years of his life toward becoming a walking encyclopedia about Egypt, got super sidetracked and ended up 10000 leagues under the sea in Atlantis. He just threw all that Egypt work completely to the wind and basically changed his career at age I dunno 70 or so. Or maybe this guy is only 50 but he just seems super way old to me.

(And raising his granddaughter for some reason? Hell knows what happened to Rebecca’s parents, but knowing Yugioh, it will probably be really, really tragic.)

So then, although Atlantis is in our world and under the sea, Hawkins decides to throw another fast one on us.

(I just chose a random number, but Buzzfeed decided Washington was 34th. Which is wild.)

Bro took this moment to explain to me in great and excruciating detail that the Atlanteans in Aquaman did in fact invent tanks. Aquaman is his favorite. Ya, I know.

So I thought “ah, this is the Shadow Realm” (since we have seen Bakura just make a monster a real boy before) but then it became kind of unclear if the Shadow Realm is a different realm than this other realm which is just where the nice monsters live. So um...I’m still not sure about that one, I’ll get back to you when it’s made clear (I may never get back to you on that one)

Then Rebecca decides to drop this lore about the ghost that lives in Yugi Muto’s head that we’ve been *pretty Sure* up to this point was strictly Egyptian dealing with strictly Egyptian things.

I am not entirely sure how we’re going to take a guy who lived 5000 years ago and explain why he’s living now in AD 2002 Yugi Muto’s head because of some guy 10000 years ago. But they’re going to try.

Like I’ve heard this referred to as a filler season, because it uh did not happen in the Manga. So, legally, they can’t really touch the manga at all (and I assume they were probably waiting for the manga to finish at this point), and so we’re just gonna...pull Atlantis out of nowhere because the nice thing about Atlantis is that it is so freakin old that it is well outside of copyright. Completely fair use. But it’s still kinda wild.

Also, Yugi made sure to off-handedly tell us that most of the monsters who’ve invaded their world have been very, very, nice, and that’s why everyone has been so chill.

I mean. OK?

You still have literal dragons flying around but apparently only some of the dragons are mean and attack, the rest just chill and float around like a fish or something. Personally, I wouldn’t be thrilled by this.

Hawkins notices Yugi’s enchanted dead guy necklace, and without asking “so...does this belong to a dead guy? Did you get this from the dead guy’s corpse? Yugi? Yugi, look at me. Yugi, young man, is this another dead guy necklace you’ve been carrying around in your pocket because I feel like I see a problem here, buster.”

Hawkins suggests, instead:

Oh OK...that’s a lot to take in.

Didn’t expect giant possessed lady statues but it’s a nice spooky touch. Can’t have enough giant possessed lady statues in your anime, honestly.

Also, I’m really glad they gave this skinny lady statue a double chin.

And after all that, Hawkins decides he’s done with his one single afternoon in Japan, and he’s going to go and travel 16 hours back to the US stuck in a plane within hearing distance of Rebecca. Worth that 32 hour round trip for that one afternoon in Japan (or actually one way is 4 hours longer than the other way or something? I forget the details.)

And like the show had him blush and then Tea got mad, but like Yugi also blushed when Mai gave him a note once that said “thanks for the help!” so I feel like Yugi just shuts down completely whenever he has to deal with girls.

Maybe this is just the face Yugi makes when he quickly enters the pyramid zone and is like “Pharaoh, it’s getting mad weird out there!” And Pharaoh’s just sitting on his throne eating cheese whiz straight out of a can in star pj’s with matching bootspants and he’s like “My Gods, Yugi! If I’m here, and you’re here, who’s driving the plane!?” and then they just start shrugging at eachother about who has to go on the date this time until Yugi snaps out of it.

ah, a disembodied voice.

Literally thought it was my own voice.

It keeps Yugi up for a while, but when has Yugi ever fallen asleep right away on this show?

After Yugi calms down enough to go the hell to bed, we zoom back to our Xtreme sports boys who have finally decided to stop Tony Hawking all over this island long enough to deliver the sober news that Gurimo is freakin dead.

Which they barely brought up at all because who freakin cares about Gurimo? This guy sure didn’t.

Cool. Good plan.

Hard to rebuild civilization without people. Just throwing that out there.

But ya. Lets go end mankind on Episode 3. Thought it would take a little bit longer for him to get enough soul juice but apparently he’s good on the soul juice from these three juicy cards that have no souls (I thought).

3 God Cards + 1 Gurimo - 1 Rex - 1 Weevil = Destroy Humanity

First, a dream sequence.

This is one bizarre ass dream sequence and like...I don’t even know if I have much to say because it’s like...so out of left field and both out of the lore of this show and just barely inside the lore enough for it to work.

Still feels hella out of nowhere though.

That may be just the Dayquil talking.

Either way, we get to have Yugi run around in pjs again, but unfortunately they have no stars so I just don’t freakin care when see it. I get that stars are hard to animate and he’s a year older and maybe grew out of the star pj’s but c’mon. We had a good thing going, show.

But they hear a voice within the pyramid, and I’m using Tea’s font color here but it’s not Tea, it’s another girl who is...a lot like Tea honestly.

So up to this point we’ve accepted that the puzzle is all of Pharaoh’s mysteries and also mixed with the memories of Yugi as well. We have a room of short term memory (that pharaoh never uses) full of little clones of Yugi’s friends. We have a room full of all the lego pieces that Yugi lost over his young life (and 2 very cursed tamagachis.) We have a room that has a gigantic guardian Dark Magician who almost killed Shadi once. We also have several rooms that are just traps that can basically kill you, or if you are Shadi, just totally set you on fire, because screw Shadi.

Also it has this room:

But we find a new room that is like an entire fantasy realm and it’s like...so what memory is this?

Somewhat confusing if you’re me and you’ve assumed up to this point that everything in the puzzle has something to do with Pharaoh’s past. Apparently there’s just a door to another world in here they just never knew was here.

Just this entire time Yugi and Pharaoh were completely unaware that they had a DOOR TO ANOTHER WORLD in their necklace. Which, as I mentioned before, is where all the duel monsters live, but looks nothing like the Shadow Realm, which we’ve seen before.

And like honestly I kinda just figured at first that the giant eye was supposed to be there eating dragons, as if this was some sort of cycle of life for the duel monsters, to be a dragon, grow old, and then get devoured by the eyeball in the sky to start over again as nutrients to feed the baby dragons.

But in fact the eye is Not Normal and we should be alarmed by it.

Very hard to know what should and should not be normal when I’ve never seen this place before, also it has three crystal dragons that I guess the other monsters MUST be worshiping or something because check out the purple tile palace they made just for these crystal dragons.

Like this made me ask a LOT of questions about the civilization of duel monsters. Like who made this? Did a bunch of Kuriboh make this? Hell does this civilization works and is it a monarchy and are there castes?

Do they do taxes?

And then we meet her, the voice asking for our help, it’s this girl. Dark Magician girl. Nice to finally meet you. Wish it had a little more build up and made more sense.

We’ve talked to this chick before. She was digital at the time, but she kind of pretends that she already knows Pharaoh and Yugi and they kinda just...take this as it comes. I mean there wasn’t much time to deliver this dialogue so they were like, if the lady in the cornucopia hat says so, I guess we have to do the thing.

It is nice that we do finally get an explanation for why Pegasus could make all these cards but could not resurrect his dead wife--being that she is...not from this world.

But like now the puzzle not only dives into Pharaoh’s past but is also just a straight up a dimension portal. You can just...visit these people whenever? I guess?

I was getting used to the puzzle being a very large metaphor, and I wasn’t actually prepared for it to have a utilitarian use like a Stargate. This asks a lot of questions, but put those questions aside because we have to adopt this dragon by pulling a huge ass sword out of it’s right eyeball.

This show is SO mean to eyeballs.

She explains that there was some lore that lead to this sword being plunged into this buddy’s eye over here but I forgot it already. It was like half a sentence and then it was gone and I’m on Dayquil and I’m sure it’ll come back. At some point they’ll bring it all full circle, I’m sure.

Like if this happened in a dream then does this place even exist on a mortal plane at all? Can it only be accessed through dreams and being dead? It’s kind of a fascinating concept since these duel monsters have to be summoned through paper, which has all sorts of relevant meaning in a lot of Eastern mythologies.

Stuff I’ll never know because say goodbye to the Duel Monster Land that Apparently-Exists-Now-And-Absolutely-Always-Existed,-Stop-Thinking-About-Who-Invented-Tanks,-It-Was-Obviously-The-Atlanteans-10000-Years-Ago, we’re gonna go and take this huge ass dragon we have no business inheriting but are anyway because the dumbass ghost in our brain has this grand reputation that he banished some sort of evil 5000 years ago but has absolutely no memory of how the hell he did that or what even occurred, and because of his completely wiped bean, this makes him a complete idiot at best and a complete psychopath at his absolute worst.

But yeah, lets take this dragon and see what happens.

You gotta bring furniture, but the dragon is free. 2 bedrooms, no rugs, it’s free.

I just realized we got a dragon and not the sword. Only in this anime.

And then he wakes up to the last thing I expected.

It was nice of Yugi to take the time it took for him to get entirely dressed and ready, but I guess if the world has to end you gotta go out in style. Which for him means his school uniform because, although Yugi absolutely hates this school for some reason, he has a lot of pride for it. Just a crazy amount of school pride for how rarely he attends school and for the lengths he went to get out of soccer practice that one time. But will Yugi be caught dead in anything but his school colors? No.

HOW IS THIS CITY STILL STANDING.

Also Kaiba must be having a wild time on the top of Kaiba Tower but maybe he took a helicopter a while back to go on a world dragon tour because we didn’t hear a peep out of him this entire very Very VERY dragon-centric episode.

Really weird how many dragons there are with so few Kaibas. It’s like the moment they turned around, every dragon on Earth came out of hiding to throw a huge ass dragon party.

PS get a load of this dragon.

Why would you ever give a dragon an ass?

I don’t even know how this is possible because it doesn’t have a butt crack, but it’s got serious ass going on. It’s the Lizzo of dragons, when you set it to defense mode, it probs just twerks to intimidate the other side.

(Yugi’s friends are so freakin patient OMG)

Also how the hell can Yugi play this card on his duel disk if neither Kaiba or Pegasus have any idea this card exists? Magic, I guess? The duel disk is part magic?

Not like it matters much, we know from Bakura that you don’t need a duel disk to make real boy cards if you have a millennium item anyway.

So at this point I’m like...I think I watched the last episode of the season, I think it’s...out of order and bro was like “nope...it’s Episode 3. We’re still on Episode 3.”

And so after that it closed the...dimension joining portal, which was a Golden Compass style aurora borealis, then Dark Magician Girl returned to her home planet.

...Which is also dangling around Yugi’s neck.

This was a lot.

I have a lot of questions.

Everyone in domino SHOULD have a lot of questions but I think they all went back to bed.

A tornado with a GLOWING EYE tried to destroy their city, and they just rolled over and went back to bed.

This season sure takes off really quickly holy crap.

Now fair warning, because I’ve been hella sick the next recap is uhh...a huge mess so it will probably be a week or so before I post it/even get to it. At some point I started numbering them completely wrong and I either saved 10 caps to a different folder or I never made them in the first place and I honestly am not entirely sure. Last week is kind of a blur and it’s a mess on my desktop right now, so my pacing is gonna reflect that because I am...behind...on everything.

Oh dude and actually now that I look at what date it freakin is, I have to go to one of my best friends weddings real soon so can we just say...it might be a few weeks before I can steadily update again? I have to learn a whole dance routine for this giant wedding and y’all, I am not a dancer. And, while my friends have had dance classes since they were like 5, I’m like...low key extremely certain I will fall completely on my ass. Anyway, there is no way out of this situation I thought would never actually happen, and thought was just a funny idea they invented when they got drunk at the bachelorette, but nah, they remembered, and this is really happening but the bride will think it’s funny so here we go.

PS this dance is to the only existing mashup of Bollywood and N*syncs Bye Bye Bye (which, yes, it is a breakup song) I hope you feel the second hand embarrassment through your computer, I am dancing for 300+ people. Directly following the groom’s parent’s dance, which is 10 minutes long, and for which they hired a professional choreographer. We are the only dance out of four epically spectacular dances that is from the bride’s side, and our dance is...2 minutes and the equivalent of a high school lipsync.

TBH I'm low key excited to do it because potentially it could be a really great story depending on the reaction of what happens.

Anyway, so if I disappear for a while only to post fanart I’ve drawn out of stress, that is what I’ve been doing in the background. I’ve just been trying to remember how to do the Bye Bye Bye dance correctly for 2 straight weeks while feverishly trying to catch up with all my other work.

Also, because I mentioned George Washington, I had to go and find the horny grandma clip from Gilmore Girls and I’m so glad that two people on the internet managed to clip it, and I can’t believe the only two people who’ve clipped this did it with their phones. In fact, kudos to this youtuber for videoing a Tablet with his phone, because there’s no better way to watch a show from the 00′s than to make you feel really illegal about it.

[ooops-i-arted]

May I ask about your thoughts on Rise of Skywalker?

You may indeed because I have Feelings and need Catharsis.  I’ll just start with general thoughts and put specific spoilers under the cut.

Edit:  I had a cut but it did not work??  Spoilers are marked in bold!!

I mean, it exceeded my expectations.  Of course, my expectations were “It can’t be worse than TLJ, right?  Who am I kidding, of course it could be” so…take that with a grain of salt.  I wasn’t bored out of my mind like I was during TLJ at least.

It felt like watching fanfiction tbh.  Like someone watched The Force Awakens and couldn’t wait for the rest so wrote their own Episode 8 and 9, but you can’t find where they posted the Episode 8 so you just have to go off context clues.  And it’s uh, typical fanfic quality but it’s still vaguely interesting enough to keep your attention even though it’s not your ideal standard of fic.

Also there is a plot hole/ass pull/that’s not how the Force works moment literally every ten minutes.  Like it loops around from being annoying to incredible to straight up ballsy.  If you are annoyed by that sort of thing, hoo boy, prepare yourself now because you’re gonna need it.

Look I feel mostly okay/somewhat positively right now but that’s because I want to try and get something positive out of it.  I wanted more from it than I got.  It was not good and I know it.  We deserved better.  Rey and Finn deserved better.  Han and Luke and Leia deserved better.  Kylo deserved worse.

John Williams did not have to go that hard with the soundtrack but he did and that’s why he’s the best composer ever.  It’s stunning and more than we deserve.

--SPOILERS AHEAD, DO NOT READ IF YOU DO NOT WANT SPECIFIC SPOILERS--

So when I said “straight up ballsy” with ass pulls I mean literally the first thing you see is “Palpatine’s not dead!” and then they never really explain it.  It’s incredible.  You have literal billions you could spend on budget and like….you write typical fanfic quality work.  Like I can’t even be mad, it just so incredulous I just get stuck in the wow stage and can’t move on to annoyance let alone anger yet.

At least they don’t do my boy Palpatine dirty.  He’s there.  He’s evil.  He’s the biggest ham in the galaxy.  He says “Do it!”  I am a simple girl with simple wants and this, at least, satisfied me.

The new trio actually ACTS AS A TRIO!!!  It’s honestly what made parts of this movie watchable.  Rey, Finn, and Poe are friends and they trust each other and they work together.  They don’t always agree but they are a team.

I for one love Threepio’s endless bitching and he gets lots of good lines.  ALSO HE DOESN’T DIE, THANK THE FORCE.  HE’S OKAY AT THE END!

You know who else doesn’t die??  Lando and Chewie!!  I was very concerned but they make it!

There’s no Mando cameo that I saw so I like to think that Mando is happily raising baby Yoda safely somewhere were he can eat lots of frogs.  Aunt Cara and Grandpa Kuiil visit on weekends.  (Alternatively, Mando got Lando’s call and just answered “Can’t you see the baby on board sign, do I look like I can go into battle???” then hands the baby a real toy that isn’t a choking hazard.)

Finn does not train as a Jedi because no reason but is blatantly Force-sensitive, operating on “a feeling” several times like Jedi are explicitly shown to do in other films.  John Boyega and Finn deserved so much better.

Especially because every single Rey/Finn scene is Finn supporting Rey, believing in her, helping her even though she’s struggling mentally a huge amount through the entire film.  There is so much friendship and trust there (and definitely a strong case for Finnrey) and it’s awesome.

It especially contrasts the fact that every single scene between Rey and Kylo is rapey, creepy, assault-y.  Rey is literally being assaulted by Kylo mentally and physically.

If you’re reading spoilers I assume you want to know…. there is a Reylo kiss.  A dry, bland, chemistry-less Reylo kiss that was so forgettable I couldn’t even be that mad about it, because the film acts like it never happened after.

But I’m still mad because I will never, as long as I live, remember refusing to hope or believe that the new films would have a girl be the main character.  And I’ll never ever forget looking up at the big screen on TFA night, in my Rey costume, watching her pick up that lightsaber and be the hero!  There was a Jedi on the screen who looked like me!  A Jedi who was a girl just like me!  And if I, a grown-ass 26-year-old woman felt that way, can you imagine how little girls watching that movie must’ve felt??  And now those same little girls watched Rey kiss the man who continuously stalked, harassed, and abused her.  Fuck whoever approved that.  May every Lego find your feet.

But I refuse to let the trilogy take Rey from me.  I love her, and if nothing else, she is the protagonist again.  She’s driven and proactive.  She wants to do the right thing but struggles to do it and it’s very human of her.  She may have incredible power but she doubts herself and wants to check herself.  But at the same time she also has kickass fight moves, is daring and badass.  So I got that, at least.  I adore her and she deserved so much better.

(Don’t get me wrong, Finn did too and I am definitely mad little black boys don’t get to see themselves as a Jedi hero onscreen, but Rey is really personal to me.)

Kylo is awful.  They don’t have the balls to make him a full villain but his ~redemption~ is weak and not really justified.  Every time he comes on screen he just drains any interest out of the film.  And he takes FOREVER to finally die.

The whole theater burst into laughter at his death scene though.  It wasn’t tragic at all, it was stupid.  Vindication tastes so sweet.

The worst thing though is that Leia dies to save him.  This greasy-ass womp rat is literally the reason the OT trio is dead.  They all died because of him.  Disney threw away Han, Leia, and Luke and all we got was fucking Kylo Ren.

Also they retcon “Leia trained as a Jedi the whole time!” but she puts away her saber because she had a vision about it being involved in the death of her son.  So not only does Leia die for Kylo, we never see her as a Jedi because of him either.

Although Leia training Rey was actually really cool, as was her having a saber.  (You know what would’ve been cooler?  Besides the Thrawn trilogy?  Actually seeing her as a Jedi.)

I don’t have a problem with Rey taking on the Skywalker name personally.  If Han, Luke, and Leia were in-character the whole time they totally would’ve adopted her and raised her to grow beyond her roots as Palpatine’s grandchild.  And she was positively impacted by Luke and Leia Skywalker so it felt like a spiritual adoption to me?  But ymmv and I’m definitely biased.  As I mentioned before, Rey has a special place in my heart and I’d originally hoped she’d be a Skywalker or Solo.

The worst part of this movie is that is that Palpatine has, presumably, canonically fucked.

Although honestly I don’t buy that, it seems way more likely he cloned himself and raised one as his son (”Hmm, that Jango had the right idea”) because we know how much he loves cloning.

Tl;dr I watched it once and that was Enough.  I’ll buy the soundtrack for sure, and a Black Series RoS Rey to go with my other two Reys, but probably not the DVD.  I’ve seen it and it’s time to return to obsessing over the Mandalorian and Baby Yoda again.

[mittensmorgul]

But what about the end of S5? (Sorry if you've answered that already.) Wasn't that about defying destiny, ripping out the pages, breaking all the rules, etc? Yet here we have TFW doing the same, except this time God is pissed at them...

The end of s5 kinda sucked, though? (sorry!)

It’s Chuck’s favorite brand of tragedy porn. Sam in the cage to be tortured for all eternity by Lucifer and Michael in a tragic-but-heroic self-sacrifice to save the world from apocalyptic destiny? While Dean loses everything he had, because of his promise to Sam to give up hunting and go live a normal life with Lisa, while meanwhile he spends a year miserable and desperate to find a way to save Sam... because unbeknownst to him Sam had been back all that time (but minus an important bit). Dean cut ties with Bobby and everything he’d ever known, put Baby under a tarp, and played Suburban Homeowner Dude for a year. And Cas... Cas was left to single-handedly stop Raphael from restarting the apocalypse in yet another act of tragic-but-heroic self-sacrifice that only ended up nearly destroying the world despite his good intentions.

Yeah, s5 kinda sucks, dude.

Granted yeah, what I described was the aftermath of s5, but NOBODY got a happy ending out of s5. Clearly, not even Chuck. Since his story went on.

Nothing ever really ends, and all that.

Chuck’s not about happy endings. 

and heck, here’s the post I made the other day about all the season finales, and how they were reflected and subverted in 14.20:

https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/184468093505/is-it-just-me-or-this-finale-kind-of

and granted, I don’t say much about 5.22, because... it was the Prime Iteration of the formula for Chuck’s non-endings, you know? It’s just... boring and predictable. Sad Men Get Sadder, Then Die Tragically And Heroically. It’s just... it looks really bad from out past that point, you know? Chuck sitting at his desk typing it all up with a self-satisfied smile, while delivering lines like this:

Chuck: So, what's it all add up to? It's hard to say. But me, I'd say this was a test... for Sam and Dean. And I think they did all right. Up against good, evil, angels, devils, destiny, and God himself, they made their own choice. They chose family. And, well... isn't that kinda the whole point?

Yeah, except... what did they get for it in the end? Their “choosing family” is literally the reason their whole family was dead. And Sam said that after reuniting with Dean in 8.01:

Dean: So you just turned tail on the family business?Sam: Nothing says family quite like the whole family being dead.

And yep... I mean... Chuck’s lil narration over 5.22 glosses over every inch of ugliness of their lives and focuses on a few easily romanticized points-- the legos in the vent, the army man in the ash tray, Sam and Dean carving their initials, occasional Special Things they did together like concerts or just watching the stars in silence... and just... that’s not the show I watched for five seasons leading up to this. That show was about what these two men had suffered through their entire lives because of this horror that happened to them, that they were apparently destined by God for, that destroyed their lives and literally ended with both of them in literal actual Hell... so...  Sorry, especially out past 5.22, when we’ve got confirmation that Chuck is just a character God played in his own story, it sounds like a lot of self-congratulatory whitewash, you know?

And now... I love the idea that his characters are actually getting to smash his song and dance guitar. That they want their own lives back, thank you very much. That they’re tired of acting out his more and more contrived dramas until he’s satisfied with their story. They just want a damn vacation, already.

wait, what was your question again? *scrolls up*

They only... kinda tore up the pages back in 5.22. I mean, yeah, the game was rigged so they couldn’t outright win. They couldn’t convince Michael to back down and not fight. They couldn’t convince Lucifer to just surrender. They fought for the best possible outcome they thought they could achieve, and it left them all with nothing. The concept of “family” and everyone they cared about was torn apart. The moment the story continued past that point, it became an intolerable ending. Why should they be forced to sacrifice their loved ones to save the world? Over and over again? In more and more horrific ways?

That’s Chuck’s story, not theirs.