#why am i so attracted to dad bod hop?

[resident-gay-bitch]

rewatching stranger things s1 and it’s traumatic. i’m going though the emotions rn.

[crushzone]

Hi Nin! I know this might be weird of me to ask because you are an artist yourself, but I am rather new here and was wondering if you have any other artists you'd recommend? If not that is ok!

Hi there, not weird at all! I LOVE supporting fellow artists, I find their wonderful talent and dedication incredibly inspiring, seeing their beautiful works on my feed constantly reminds me to take a step back from my exhaustion and to simply remember why I love to draw to begin with: because it’s fun.

I’m usually really picky about artists I follow and their style, but when I find the ones that I enjoy, I go ALL OUT with my support. So without further ado, the following artists listed are those I am not only in love with, but those who I genuinely look up to. 

So make sure you stop by their page to show them some love and appreciation for their hard work (because hard work extends beyond the individual pieces they’ve made, it’s also for the countless hours they’ve spent on practicing and perfecting their craft, constantly challenging themselves to learn new techniques). 💛

👇🏼👇🏼 Nin’s Artist Recommendation👇🏼👇🏼

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@aku-jumbi - HQ!!, Various, You all had seen me share a BUNCH of their works on my blog, but it’s just because their art is so SOOOOOOOOO good. Your style leans toward photorealism, while still maintaining its painting-like quality, so if you had ever wondered how your favorite characters may look like irl, they’ve got you!!! Watching your speed painting is so fascinating, idk how you do it, but you’re always killing it every time (Like our process is so different, so it was really interesting to see how you approach your works you know?). This piece of Kei Tsukishima and Oikawa Tooru are two of my favorite works you’ve done!

@achieve-the-sun - HQ!!, Various, Let me start off by saying that I love Morghy’s art so much, that they are the first and only person I had ever commissioned from so far. They drew Keishin and I sooo adorably, it brings me so much joy to look at it on the daily. Your style reminds me of freshly baked cookies, or the warmth of bakeries, I can’t help but feel a sense of coziness whenever I look at your adorable artworks. This piece you did of Kageyama and Hinata was what had drawn me to you. Everything from your color choices, fluid gestures, and expressions are such a delight to look at!

@chaotickatts - HQ!! I am so in love with Katts, you all. I had never seen anyone draw like this, her style is really unique. I can go on forever about why I love your art, but one of the biggest things that drew me to your style is the way you draw bodies. I like the variation and realistic details you include, for instance, I absolutely adore the way you gave Sakusa more moles on his body, and the way you drew dad bod Osamu. Idk, I think there’s so many different types of body shapes and details out there, and it brings me joy to see you being so inclusive of them in your art.

@namusw - Hunter x Hunter. Was drawn to their Hunter x Hunter works and I don’t even watch/read that manga. Honestly, just check them out, I love everything about their works, they are also a killer at both traditional and digital styles. This piece of Hisoka, Illumi, and Chrollo was the one that made me fall in love.

@cranbearly - HQ!! I really adore the way they draw expressions and their coloring style (inspired me to attempt some flat coloring). This piece of Oikawa and Iwa made me follow them instantly. Expressions are so difficult to nail, and you’ve done such an amazing job conveying every emotion the characters are feeling, I’ve learned so much just from looking at your works, so thank you for blessing us with your craft.

@a-zebra-was-here - HQ!! Their art has a very carefree type of vibe and their coloring style brings me so much joy. I’ve really enjoyed your drawings of the Miyas’, this piece of the twin was what got me, and this other piece, the first image of young Miyas’ was so SO well done, I am in love with the way you colored that. 😻 

@erionmakuo - Various, dude....I want to cry, I don’t even know what to say, EVERY SINGLE PIECE of your artworks just BLOWS ME AWAY. The way you color your art is just so ethereal, the color schemes you had chosen, the way you mix the color of your lighting, textures, and everything in general, I can go on about this all day but just hop on to their blog and you will know exactly what I mean. I don’t have a particular piece that drew me in because I was blessed by all your works at once.

@uranarino - HQ!!, Your artworks bring me so much joy. If I have to describe your style like an experience in life, I would say it reminds me of how it’s like to fall in love with someone for the first time, if that makes sense. That sudden overwhelming feeling you get when you’re doing the most mundane things with someone you care about, only for time to stop as you realize how in love you are with them? Yea, your art captures that really well. These two pieces of Kuroo returning home with his groceries and of him taking a day nap with his cats was what had drawn me to you.

@queenoftheantz - HQ!!, Various, Their style is really unique, it kind of reminds me of an adventurous graphic novel or something you would see on Cartoon Network (idk, I thought of Chowder, but please, I really mean it as a compliment, I just really love the fun cartoon style you have.) They also do some animations! I really love this piece of Kyotani you did, the landscape and colors look SOO GOOD!!

@noodlemanjpg - HQ!!, Various, love LOVE your style and the way you draw expressions. I also really love how you color, your works “appear” effortless, but I know a lot of knowledge and precision is put into crafting it. This piece of Kuroo x Yaku being all cozy at the couch was what had drawn me to your blog, it makes me smile every time I look at it. Kuroo’s smitten expression is just...ahsdl;adjs I can’t help but smile with him.

@diabolism666 - HQ!!, c’mon, you can’t be in the HQ!! fandom without at least seeing one of their artworks. In fact, I had seen your art even before I’ve gotten into this show, and it was love at first sight, lemme tell ya. EVERY. SINGLE. THING. you had drawn are so good, it doesn’t even matter if it’s a more simplistic drawing or elaborate one, I am just always staring at it in awe. Thank you for being so incredibly active about it too, idk how, but you’ve produced so many amazing drawings and we’re just incredibly grateful for it. You draw some of best Tendou, Reon and Toshi out there. Your works have so much range, I really feel like you can draw ANYTHING hahaha.

@viria​ - Various, Viria *sobs* your works are so good. The way you draw faces and affection just gives me butterflies. I don’t even watch Fullmetal Alchemist, but this piece you did of Edward and Winry made me fall so deeply in love with your works. Your style has a certain softness to it, even when it is of an angry character, and I love it.

@nipuni​ - Various, another artist that I am incredibly nervous to tag because your works are just out of the world. You also seem so so nice and is always incredibly helpful whenever anyone sends you an ask. Just...I have the biggest crush on you and your works. EVERYTHING you had drawn is so stunning, and I mean it. The details, pose, composition, and coloring, it is just so perfect, I could pull up particular artworks, but I was really blessed by it all at once. If you are into fantasy-esque realistic looking portraits, check her out, she exudes so much knowledge and talent.

@hinamihere - HQ!!, Your artworks are soo stinkin adorable. Your color choices, expressions and the way you draw hair is just so cute, your art always bring the biggest smile to my face. This piece you did of Akaashi and Bokuto was what drew me to you, when I saw it, I “awhhh”ed so loudly, my hubby had to ask me what’s up, and when I showed it to him, he had the same reaction, even if he’d never seen Haikyuu!!

@oxxuri - BNHA, so SO good, the way you color, light, and draw is so beautiful. Every single detail, down to every lashes and strands of hair is so beautiful. You draw some of the most attractive faces I had ever seen, these drawings of Aizawa and Midoriya brings me so SOOOO much joy, and I don’t even know anything about BNHA.

@amezure - HQ!!, their comic strips always make my day, I was giving their blog a peep so I can pull up specific examples and my statement is instantly confirmed when I stumbled across their newest comic art of Kuroo and Bokuto and started laughing HAHA. 😂 Your self study sheets are incredibly informative and I find myself referencing them often, it’s so nice to see my favorite artists continue to polish their craft through endless amounts of studying, practice, and analysis. It serves as a constant reminder for myself to do the same. I love the way you draw people (check out this piece of Bokuto x Akaashi), but I ESPECIALLY love the way you draw animals. (Specifically anything that has to do with lil owl Bo and Akaashi 🥺)

@obobro - Avatar the Last Airbender, HQ!!, I am absolutely in love with the way you color and draw portraits. Your drawing and detailing has so much range; you have a series of hand drawings, and that alone already displays so SO much range. I was really drawn in by this drawing of Tsukki, Zuka + Azula, and of Sokka + Katara, you can really tell they were related and I love it so much. Your art has so much life to it, it’s truly fascinating. 

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I have a couple more artists to recommend, so if you’d like a part 2 to this, please lmk.

But yes, I genuinely stand by my recommendations, these guys are so SO good at what they do and I am currently sweating because the thought of tagging all my artist crushes in one post is actually kinda scary lol.

Hope this helps! ✌️ 

[polywogslovetales]

Because I Learned The Hard Way

Normally this is primarily a journal of my poly experiences but I have had a few people join exploring polyamory and I wanted to make a post about things I have learned about polyamory since I began this journey.  To clarify, what I am going to say applies specifically to how I view and interact with the poly lifestyle.  There are as many was to do this as there are people who do it, so I am by no means speaking for everyone.  I’ll start with a short list for those who don’t want to read the whole post but I will explain my thoughts behind each below.

So, here is what I learned the hard way:

1) Your partner does not complete you, you are whole by yourself. 2) Jealousy is normal, but not in charge 3) Your emotions belong to you, not your partner or metamour 4) Rules constrain more than they help. 5) Disagreements are healthy, fighting is not 6) Sometimes your fears will be made manifest; partners do leave.

Your partner does not complete you, you are whole by yourself. There is this myth that seems to pervade monogamous culture and many of come from monogamy and bring this idea with us.  The idea is that your partner (be they a nesting partner or longtime love) is your “other half” or sometimes “your better half.” While this may seem like a harmless and cute way to refer to your significant other, I find the idea behind it troublesome.  I am 27 and have been with both of my partners for about 2 years.  I love them dearly. I don’t like imaging my future without them.  But they do not complete me.  I am a whole person by myself and if they both leave I am still whole and still valid.  I think Its important to see yourself and your partners as distinct individuals who have chosen to spend their time and energy on each other.  Now, if you are 72 and have been together forever, then some of that “other half” mentality is a little reasonable.  But I don’t have near the shared experience with a partner to even come close to thinking of them as a part of me.  And even if I did, I still think it is better to view your partners as individuals. I believe that doing so helps keep a better hold on ourselves and to remember that our partners are people too, with their own needs, wants, emotions and agency.

Jealousy is normal, but not in charge. I firmly believe that jealousy comes from one place: our own insecurities.  Why else would it matter what my partners find attractive in someone else unless I feel like that is somehow encroaching on what makes me attractive or else that some other person has what I feel I don’t.  Jealousy is the active manifestation of our own personal insecurities.  Now, that being said, jealousy does not just vanish because you decide to be polyamorous.  We all experience it in different ways and to varying degrees but most of us do experience it.  I, for instance, have to actively work against weird feelings I have whenever M is seeing someone new and I am still far away meaning that the new partner is getting more time and physical affection than I am.  I want that same time and attention.  Or when either M or F start seeing someone new and I realize that i’m a little short and rocking a dad bod, whereas they are taller and more in shape. IT IS NORMAL TO FEEL INSECURE.  And it is healthy and important to talk about these feelings with your partner but with the intent to explain and get validation, NOT to blame the other person.  My partners are very good at making me feel loved, attractive and validated. Often, expressing any weird feelings I have results in a lot of affirmation and an increased sense of closeness. If I am feeling jealous it is my responsibility to either healthily cope with that feeling or make significant changes in how I approach relationships.  It is important not to let jealousy be in charge. Jealousy should not make decisions.  Now, I think it is important for partners to be supportive of each other while growing through jealousy.  Often we need a little extra affirmation and attention when we are feeling jealous, but that does not mean I get to decide anything about my partner’s relationship just because I feel jealous. This encroaches on their agency.

Your emotions belong to you, not your partner or metamour. This one is a hard one for me still but I work on it.  Emotional responses (like jealousy) to a situation are not in our control and generally valid.  Feelings need to be heard, they only get worse when forced to be quiet, but if we don’t approach them carefully they can turn ugly.  Lets say your partner starts seeing someone new and it makes you feel a bunch of new, complex emotions many of which don’t feel nice.  A lot of times we find ourselves blaming that partner or metamour for those feelings.  We should not. Our feelings are our own and they do what they want.  It is not our partner’s fault that them going on a scheduled date makes us feel unsafe and small.  Its not our metamour’s fault that their relationship looks a little different than ours does with our partner and seems better because its new and different.  Our emotional reactions are ours. As a second part of this, having an emotional response does not mean it should be listened to.  Every emotional response is valid, but that does not mean that the response accurately represents the world and should be taken as one voice to listen to, not the only voice.  Both of my partners are good at this, but I see this with F a little more directly due to his proximity.  Back when J was still in my life, I remember a day when F was having a powerful emotional response and desperately needed attention and affirmation.  I asked J if she would mind if I left for an hour or so to spend time comforting F (I had scheduled this time with J so it was her time).  She obliged and I went and held F for a while and loved on him as much as possible.  After he had gotten in a good cry I went back to J.  F made it abundantly clear that even though he felt some powerful emotions, some of which hurt, he did not want that to be the reason I stopped spending time with J.  Later we spent a lot of time together affirming each other and slowly those feelings subsided. (You can check out the post “The Most Romantic Words” I made about the situation. Search the tag “sometimes things hurt” or just “f” and it should pop up). NOW, it is important to note.  That situation only worked out because I gave F the attention he needed.  This idea is NOT an excuse to ignore your partner’s feelings or for them to ignore yours.  Just a reminder that feelings aren’t the boss and exploring polyamory means figuring out which emotions we can work through and what we need from our partners to do so.

Rules constrain more than they help. When I first really started being poly I had this thing called the “veto rule.” It made sense to me at the time.  I didn’t want polyamory to ruin the relationship I had with S.  I thought that as a failsafe we could institute a rule whereby if a metamour was making us severely uncomfortable we could ask each other to not date that person.  It was meant to be used only in dire circumstances, but it existed.  And in general we approached new partners with a short rulebook for interactions, again with the intent of keeping our relationship with each other safe.  I find this line of thought can be very destructive.  Rules can very quickly become legalistic and I find that people end up fighting about those rules and how they should be interpreted more than applying the reason behind them.  I find that it is better to talk to your partner about what you need from them, more than what rules they should follow.  Its more about boundaries than it is about rules.  For instance, I find the idea of what I call “overlap” a little uncomfortable.  I would not want a partner to have hot, amazing sex with a metamour and then immediately come hop into bed next to me.  I’m not bothered by the idea of them having sex, but I don’t necessarily want to smell it on them.  I have asked both of my partners to please shower in between.  Or another example is that I ask my partners not to leave marks on me (and I try not to leave marks on them) because it can be a little weird to kiss someone’s neck and discover there is a hickey right where you wanted to kiss.  Another boundary for me involves communication.  I would like updates on how a new relationship is going, but I don’t need a play-by-play.  Milestones are more helpful and I reserve the right to ask if we can discuss it later.  Lets say I am having an insecure day and my partner is trying to update me on something new in their relationship. I might explain that I don’t have the emotional fortitude for that discussion right now and will ask about it when I am ready.  None of these are rules, but all of them are boundaries I have found that keep me comfortable and happy.  If a partner accidentally pushes one of those boundaries (maybe a mark was left accidentally) i’m not going to punish them for breaking a rule, but merely remind them of my boundaries and politely and lovingly ask that they be observed.

Disagreements are healthy, fights are not. Everything I have said up to this point is a possible source of contention.  I have had disagreements about boundaries and emotions with partners plenty of times.  Sometimes these disagreements are very unpleasant and hurtful and result in a lot of tears and complex feelings.  NONE of that is an excuse to deliberately hurt my partner.  Disagreements are when adults talk to each other about something they view differently and any negativity that might have resulted from that difference.  Fights are when adults let that negativity precipitate and to anger, insults, statements made to hurt, and even violence.  FIGHTING IS NOT HEALTHY. Disagreeing is healthy.  It is important to work toward tactful explanations and calm interactions.  Its ok to step away from a situation for a bit and come back with a cool head, even in the middle of a discussion.  

Sometimes your fears will be made manifest; partners do leave. Even with all of the positive interactions, validation, affirmation, consideration of feelings and healthy discussions, sometimes it just doesn’t work.  Sometimes your fears and insecurities will seem validated.  Both Z and J left my life in a way that was painful and made feel small.  Both spent enough time away from me that they fell out of love with me while falling in love with someone new.  This is literally one of my biggest fears with polyamory.  And it happened.  To this day I have to remind myself that there is nothing wrong with me.  I have to remind myself that I could not have done anything to prevent that and even if I could have it would not have been responsible.  Sometimes things just fall apart.  That does not mean polyamory is not right for you.  It does not mean polyamory doesn’t work.  It does not mean there is anything wrong with you. IT DOES NOT MEAN THERE IS ANYTHING WRONG WITH YOU.  But I will make this promise, if you view yourself as a distinct, whole individual who has practiced excellent communication through the entire relationship, it leaves you feeling better at the end than if you had not.  I KNOW I did everything I could in those relationships.  I was the best partner I could be.  And M and F regularly validate and affirm that communication and intention when it comes to my relationships with them.  I stand stronger knowing that I was an effective partner.  Does it hurt? absolutely.  Z left over a year ago and J not long after and I still wake up feeling small sometimes.  But I press on without fear because I am still the best version of me I have ever been.  

To Recap: talk to your partner and figure out where your boundaries are.  Do this in a calm and thoughtful way.  And remember that you are enough by yourself.