#why am i here at this game again
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love how this game hides belian and zio from you in the hero journal like I literally do not wake up and go to pvp everyday looking at their cancerous asses
#they arent actually cancerous i just hate them#my cleave team is so scuffed everyday im surprised im still in challenger#why am i here at this game again
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heeyyy gaaanggg
the pose and the background of the album version (left) are based on oingo boingos only a lad album art. not cause i think he has anything to do with it but just cause ive been wantin to draw that pose for like. weeks and i didnt know who to put there. so why not my latest bug man.
#my art#digital art#digital painting#fanart#resident evil 7#ethan winters#goddd PLEAAASEEEE#i havent known if i was gonna post this or not multiple times in the process of drawin this. but ultimately i spent too much time on it to#NOT post it. embarrassment be damned#but at the same time what am i even doin yknow. what is this what is goin on pleaaseee PLEASEEEEE#I DONT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT RESIDENT EVIL!!! I DONT KNOW N O T H I NG I KNOW LESS THAN NOTHING#HOW?? HOW DID I GET HERE??? WHY DID THIS HAPPEN???? i know exactly the answer to all those questions but it still boggles me how fast this#happened. usually it takes WEEKS if not MONTHS for me to start makin fanart. this was faaasttttt TOO FAST and im like. genuinely constantly#thinkin about this game. im ALWAYS thinkin about this game. part of why this took me so long to do is cause i always wanna play re7 or thin#about re7 in a strange and deranged way. ive actually genuinely been SICK WHAT HAPPENEDDDDDD#im losing it!! anyways this took me a looonggg ass time and i redrew it soo many timmmessss#i did like. 3 lineart passes. the album version i did 3 shading passes. i really struggled!! and ultimately i dont know how i feel about it#like i kinda resent it. for takin so long and makin me suffer so much#never again. never again will i spend that much time on a drawing. i HATE when drawins take a long time. i HATE that. it makes me madddd#ive been insane. ive been so insane. and im not gettin better like i cant sleep sometimes cause im thinkin about this game and this guy and#that gal like i think about them!! so! so much!! oh my god!!#in the time it took me to finish this ive done like 10 sketches for other pieces like. and ive had like 3 ideas ive written down.#and like 50 that i havent written or sketched.#IVE WRITTEN POETRY!! P O E T R Y !!!#i write the occasional poem when im feelin some kinda profound emotion but i NEVER write poetry about media SOBBING#anyways thats the post i think this is the beginnin of the end so lets hold hands and pray. ugh sorry if i get sick. im shakin.
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TES Summer Fest Day 1 - Forbidden
A 7 year old Vanus "Trechtus" Galerion stays up late one night reading with his dad.
#tesfest24#tesfest#tes summer fest#vanus galerion#the elder scrolls#tes#elder scrolls#eso character featuring daggerfall era lore so idk what game to tag#mine#i know the blanket is rough. am never drawing a blanket ever again#my art#finding out that vanus was originally a dev ttrpg character makes it make more sense why he has such a protagonist-esque backstory#anyway if you read this far down in the tags here's a misc vanus headcanon for you: his dad's name is also trechtus (making vanus a jr) and#that is part of the reason he was so ok with his name being changed. it reminded him too much of his dad and old life
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we should talk about this scene more often
#my posts#my aftg posts#aftg#all for the game#kevin day#tfc#the foxhole court#the sunshine court#i am once again asking you to reread every kevin scene#'one of us had to make it and i wanted it to be you' absolutely destroys me. he told kevin this oh my goddddddd#and everything kevin says here is just#tells you everything you need to know#he doesn't want this but he's not like neil!!!!#which is why later on he asks neil how he does it#with scenes like this in the books i really don't understand how he was misunderstood for so long#neil's perspective of him might be biased but you can look past that once you realize#and if you actually /read/ kevin's dialogue it's all right there#anyway i love the specific flavour of kevneil scenes
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Trying to ignore the fact I won't get to pull any banners on whb
#hrrr#Idk why Im sad to just see all these 1 year birthday banner and battle pass but I can't even pull a x10 or it's paid currency-#shoku downloading the game again telling herself to not expect banners or pulling but here I am again
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returnal did not cure my depression but it did give me a strangely healing new perspective that makes it all a bit easier to bear. that perspective being 'I may be having a rough time right now, but at least I'm not inside the head of returnal protagonist selene vassos'
#thank god -- at least -- for that! she's going through it in ways few have ever gone through it before#returnal#selene vassos#beat the final boss today! though since the achievement says 'finished act 2'... I take it we're not done here yet haha#the cycle begins again baby!!!#I cannot convey to you just how stupidly fun this game is to play the gameplay is honestly astonishingly good#I am an avowed Platforming Hater and even I have fun with some of those parts because the mobility is done so well#and the running and shooting bits are fully *chef's kiss*#there are a couple of places where I think they don't signal quite enough what they want you to do#but hey I did figure it out eventually right lol#if anyone plays this game after me and sees this listen to my words of hard-earned wisdom... the abyssal vault stays unlocked#you only have to find and use the key the once. that's why you're running around the whole level crying b/c you can't find it#let that knowledge be my gift to you
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alexa play gary come home :((
#pens lb#i miss him....#i know playing a goalie while hes hot is a thing. i know that. but whats the long-term plan here? you're going to have#ned still increasing his chances of injuries and fatigue AND a goalie who hasnt played in weeks#its unfair to ned and its setting jarry up to be a scrapgoat in important games#like im not a big fan of the bruins but theyve been doing the right thing in actually alternating their goalies every other game#so the other gets to rest while staying sharp and they're both well experienced.#jarry has 6!!!! shutouts!!!! and thats while being the goalie for the fucking pittsburgh penguins!#you KNOW he can play. you know hes good. why are you purposely setting him up to fail.#and ned has been wonderful! i was so nervous he was going to be traded after not being played for a good bit. i love my eyebrows boy and am#so happy and proud he's been having these opportunities to show how good and valuable he is to this team#but overworking him to such an extent is (once again) setting him up to fail just as much as its setting jarry up to be that scrapegoat#mike sullivan i am shaking you by the shoulders demanding to know what the fuck has been up with these lineups lately
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Every day I wake up, I'm full of inspiration and ambition, I lollygag a bit, I kinda skirt around it, I actively avoid The Thing I WANT to do. Then I just kinda give up and do something else.
#idk what's up w this but like. the more intensely i WANT the more i can't bring myself to do it.#like feh example like you'd think bc it's ALL i'm on about. i'd be deeply IN the source material#and i have felt i've been away doing my own thing for too long i need to revisit it. i Need to#but for some reason it's unbearable. not bad. i just can't bear it. i do NOT know what's up w that#i wanna keep listening to a playlist too (hoping it's still up) but like. i broke away. and i am struggling to return.#AND LIKE. BEYOND FEH. i feel this about video games in general like i have to do something that requires no commitment.#labyrinth of galleria was great for this. for some INEXPLICABLE reason. it is just a COMPLETELY different experience#like. the feelings i feel when playing galleria vs like etrian odyssey where i'm VERY attached to my guys#the most upsetting side effect is i feel like i'm losing alfonse's voice like i feel like i used to be able#to mimic his speech patterns PERFECTLY. but everything just feels off or not cleaned up enough#and again i can't fucking bear it. like i am almost going to fucking cry about it. like what is wrong here.#like WHY can't i get myself to DO. THE THINGS. I LIKE. THAT BRING ME JOY. THE COMMITMENT.#i think i'm also worried like i don't wanna get to the point where like. my blorbos are unrecognizable.#spent too much time in my head and now they're all warped and weird. but like. like. for some reason.#esp if i feel this INTENSE fucking affinity it's like. i get in this weird headspace where can't look directly at it.#i should do ANYTHING else. what is my fucking PROBLEM.#does anybody have a cure. or do i just give up forever.
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#not tagging this properly so hopefully only my followers see this#i'm purposefully not adding super popular characters#i will say this though my jean idea is like so damn cute okay like#IT'S CUTE#I KNOW SHE'S NOT GOING TO WIN BUT IT'S A DAMN CUTE IDEA#I'VE SAT ON THIS IDEA FOR MORE THAN A YEAR#i have an idea for navia#but i dont have any ideas for the rest of the characters#after i finish this freminet fic i'll be out of longform wips so i need to build up my stash again#what can i say tho#uh...#ayato will probably be comedy#gaming will maybe be uh.......... hahahg-ratedomegaversehaha....#idk abt tighnari#albedo will probably be a fantasy!au or isekai or...... slice of life maybe?#chongyun will probably be angst#kaveh idk but i like bullying him#sethos idk either#furina will probably be angst or hurt/comfort#yae miko will be angst/drama probs#navia is romcom#jean is slice of life and pining#doesnt the jean one sound cute you guys should vote for it#no jk vote for whatever you like#i'm sorry there are no popular characters on here but like.....#i either dont know much about them (kinich). theyre overdone (alhaitham/wriothesley)#or i have no interest in them (wanderer/neuvillette/etc)#ooh come to think about it i should add the traveler#why no venti? i am already working on something for him#why not zhongli? bc i vowed to never write romance for him until i finish the bookkeeping!series
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28 for the ask game !!!!! ^_^
28: do you collect anything?
send me a number!! 💌
#also very fun conversation starters!!! i like to think it helps people get to know me a little#my favorite pairs rn are my spirited away soot sprite socks and my i need to pee socks#the soot sprite socks are knitted and the material is nice and breathable. and it has a cable knit along the middle its rly cute ^_^#the i need to pee socks is like this guy on a horse and hes holding a flag that says 'i need to pee.' and at the foot it says 'again'#that one is actually one out of three blue q socks which are probably my favorite brand cause theyre so silly and good quality#the other ones say pro wrestling!! why? because!! and these wrestlers beating each other up. on the sole it has a guy#saying somebody bring me a folding chair!! and the third one says 'i am going to get shit done' and on the sole it says 'later'#id love to get more blue q socks but theyre a little hard to find around here besides ordering online#i wear different funny socks every day of the week and its fun to see peoples look of delight when i show them#ask#ask game#answered#doodles#yapping
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Tag drop: Aventurine.
#aventurine. [ mr. cavalier gambler: uptight. overcautious. inferiority complex. you've won so much but you're still so afraid of losing. ]#aventurine: ic. [ they see only the straight flush. they don't know the other hand below the table clutching your chips for dear life. ]#aventurine: inquiries. [ time to make a move my friend. say goodbye before you shuffle off. it's… best to die without regrets. ]#aventurine: countenance. [ now go. and pick the clothes that you like. then choose your desired identity and use them well. ]#aventurine: introspection. [ “sleep is the rehearsal of death”? why does life slumber? because we are not ready for the final rest. ]#aventurine: meta. [ the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason. but you've never gone in any other direction. ]#aventurine: little notes. [ you will keep winning; having never lost before. but why you? why... must it be you? ]#aventurine: wishes. [ even if the chance of winning is close to zero. well... you can't win if you don't play; right? ]#aventurine: etc. [ the chance… no matter how small: the potential is what you hang onto. that is what justifies the gamble. ]#aventurine: ipc. [ … i'll give you that and much more than that. the ipc will give you whatever you want. even what you don't want. ]#aventurine: trio. [ three cornerstones who for a measly penacony... offered their everything. you're more united than the family. ]#aventurine: astral express. [ friends: the game has commenced and you cannot choose to decline… nor do you have grounds to. ]#aventurine: fate. [ if the dice of fate are always weighted then that is our destiny. why then... do we struggle against it? ]#aventurine: past. [ our paths will cross again beneath kakava's shimmering auroras. farewell: kakavasha. ]#aventurine: luck. [ he's only drunk on the moment that makes his very life quiver. hell is only one decision away from heaven. ]#aventurine: topaz. [ i never expected the beautiful and kind-hearted director topaz to resort to distorting concepts like that. ]#aventurine: topaz. [ but since i survived i realized: wherever you go that's where i'll follow; nobody's promised tomorrow. ] immobiliter.#aventurine: jade. [ it's often used as a counterfeit for jade. but it looks like jade… can be substituted for aventurine too. ]#aventurine: veritas ratio. [ unfortunately for him; i make for a more competent conversationalist than the other dimwits around here. ]#aventurine: black swan. [ nothing remains hidden from you… does it? i will find my place in the web of your schemes; memokeeper. ]#aventurine: sunday. [ is this what the harmony represents? is it built upon constraint and coercion? ]#aventurine: acheron. [ only by casting aside reason does one truly gamble. “emanator” — I know you'll match my wager. ]#aventurine: v. youth. [ but the sun could not kill me and the quicksand sent me back to the embrace of the guild and the ipc. ]#aventurine: v. penacony. [ i seem that way because i am nervous. maybe you can help. what do you say; put our palms together a last time? ]#aventurine: v. future. [ the once falling die has at last landed on its earthly rest. quietly… peacefully: it at last landed. ]#tag drop#[ ... i wanted to add in a tag for robin. but i think that may have to come personalized. ]#[ /rubs hands together. lets see if any of these are broken. ]#aventurine: robin. [ so she sings; but does she dance? ] avaere.#[ okay i changed my mind-- there's a robin tag. ]
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currently resisting the urge to start another Astarion or Gale origin run
i’m trying to establish a common timeline for their relationship for bloodweave fic writing reason
i’m just so obsessive about being accurate to canon in my writing even tho I know that technically there are different canon versions of their relationship
but like… there’s a reason why my name on Ao3 is canon_complient
i think i have a pretty good rough timeline worked out but i have to fact check myself and the wiki can only help me so much
#but i can’t be out here with 3 unfinished games#granted they’re all in act 3#but i still haven’t finished my first game with my tav#i’m very close tho#and in my Gale origin i’m almost just as far#my Astarion origin game is still at the beginning of act 3#but like >.>#i need to see some stuff from act 1 and 2 again#why am i like this lol#anyways…#Sophia talks too much#Astarion#Gale#Bloodweave
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#tw suicide#idk i feel like i am probably gonna kms after TIT#i would do it sooner but i asked one of my friends to come with me and it would suck if i made him go alone#and it is something to look forward to which is helping me hang on i guess#but ughhhh once uni starts again in september i know everything is gonna fall apart.#i already got an extension on my thesis due to being a useless shell of a person who can't motivate themselves to do anything atm#but i was supposed to get some work done over the summer and have so far done nothing#hence why i want to kms before i have to talk to my fucking supervisors again and admit yet again that i simply cannot do this 😭#and it's not just this. my executive dysfunction has been so bad over the past couple of years and it's only getting worse#to the point where i can't imagine being able to work at all. and if i can't work i can't get out of my parents house#and then what the fuck is the point.#every time i see someone on here talking about bonding with their parents over dnp I'm like damn what's it like#to have parents who actually want to talk to you DSFGJJKL i know they let me live in their house at my big age#but that's only bc id literally be homeless otherwise and they're not like evil. they just don't love me#also went through a deeply embarrassing breakup recently#tl;dr ive been in love with this person for over a decade and i thought they were the dan to my phil or vice versa.#then after 10 years they left me and i'll spare the details but it has me wondering if they ever loved me#i thought it was a “let's live together and get a cat one day” relationship#but now i feel like for them. it was just a “sex and video games” type situation#i am trying soooo hard to at least be creative bc that makes me happy sometimes but it's hard to not be overly critical of myself#and now im getting to a point where i can barely even find any joy in this space any more. for a bunch of reasons#most of which revolve around me being extremely sensitive. and this is like my last bastion of dopamine so that fucking sucks#idk i don't see the point in my life any more. a social worker actually told me recently that i should consider euthanasia so.#it's just completely over for me i fear#this is not even mentioning all the damn migraines. and all the other ways in which my body simply doesn't work properly#sorry for this weird ass vent I'm not in therapy any more bc i couldn't find a therapist willing to treat me+all my diagnoses at this point#and im scared my friends will stop wanting to talk to me if i talk to them about this. several of them already have#the 2 friends i have left anyway. that's a whole other thing. when they said it's hard for autistic ppl to make friends i took that persona#so uh at this point it's vent here or develop a substance abuse problem. and im already halfway to having a substance abuse problem#anyway dan and phil for the love of god please fucking post something tonight. unfortunately you are my only hope
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Watch out.
#mvf art#fossil fighters#fossil fighters champions#joe wildwest#zongazonga#fossil fighters fanart#fossil fighters champions fanart#horror/#eyes/#(insert PT bloodied bag speech here) why yes i am inserting that game into my art again#joe wildwest fanart#fossil fighters joe wildwest#fossil fighters champions joe wildwest
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Genuinely baffling that so many people like to hc that Zelda's new court in botw/totk and going forward would have patriarchal leanings and that she would have to adhere to tradition to keep their favor or w/e, when like. The Kingdom has been destroyed and displaced for 100 years 😭 its so stupid, she doesnt even want a kingdom in the first place
#nico rbs#i dont even really like the Wilds games and yet here i am rambling again abt botw/totk dnjdhdb#like i dont think fans are thinking for more than 2 seconds when they do this#its SO confusing like. please ask yourself why you think Zelda would rebuild a court/kingdom with patriarchal leanings 😭
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series i’m gatekeeping from my family vs series i’m ✨ok✨ with my family knowing i’m into:
#‘why do you gatekeep hw from your irls?’ well. the thing is. i just ✨don’t want to✨#and. like. i’ve already led my family to believe that i bought bl manga when i was buying idol sengen at animate#so i think im already past the point of no return in that regard. so. um. yeah.#thank you village vanguard for the unexpected μ’s content in 2k24 you truly are yappa saikyou#i s w e a r falling back into my ll phase almost 10 whole years after i first got into it is unexpected tbh#compounded with the fact that i can now actually afford whatever im looking for. so. like. my wallet is in crisis lol#i had just reached my savings goal last month but now i’ve overspent bc i saw great deals on resold honoka-chan hoodies and i couldn’t help—#so now i have 2 identical hoodies lol. but i’ll keep one of them safe in its packaging bc im unwell like that ig#my merch whaling is out of control i s w e a r but my oshis are just too cute aaaaaaaaa#i probably should open another savings account instead… maybe that’d keep my spending under control…#b u t for now honoka-chan jersey im looking for you#tfw ur oshi is decently unpopular amongst the fans so hardly anyone resells her merch lmao#so ig the relatively fewer fellow fans she has are more dedicated to her than fans of other more popular characters lol#but at least her stuff (when resold) isn’t as overpriced as the actually popular members (birb and tomato)#so my wallet isn’t crying as hard as it could’ve been? ig? hunting for almost 10 year old merch is a pain fr though#either way. the grip idol series have on my wallet is truly insane#i wonder how many bags of chips i could’ve bought with the amount i’ve spent on hw and ll merch to date…#at least a thousand… i think. maybe even 2 thousand if my past gacha game whaling is taken into consideration…#…this is probably why it’s important to have a decent paying job ig.#oh well. at least i may be making b a n k this month with how much ot i’ve had to do this week so far…#i hope i won’t have to work till 5am again over the next 2 days… that had been a horrible experience.#help what am i even talking about anymore why am i having a life crisis right here and now u m.#anyways. dni if you dislike honoka-chan. thanks for coming to my crisis rant. see you when the last stage mv drops ig ok byeeeee
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