#why am i having morose 2am thoughts at 8pm
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I think the worst part of the holidays is people asking me what I’m doing for the holidays.
#its always well meant you know#and do i bum them out by saying that my relationship with my (step) mom is strained#and my dad is dead so i cant build the strained bridge i made with my mom#and also the idea of the holidays makes me full of stress if i try for nostalgia because most of my holiday memories are of my mom yelling#and also I��m playong the waiting game of when is the grief gonna get me this year#cus lord knows it’ll never be when I expect it#so I’ll probably spend Christmas day alone in my apartment not reaching out to anyone cus i dont want to distract them from their day#or do i go the bubbly ‘haha i celebrated the solstice this year’#bah#why am i having morose 2am thoughts at 8pm#lux.txt#grief posting
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