#why am i crying over veggi scraps

[bees-and-puppycat]

"even vegetable scraps have their uses" ---actually sobbing

[keepingcalmisoverratedgoddamnit]

Well fuck,

A thing happened to me today as a couple of you know and, well, my hand slipped. @weirdo-in-a-cat-sweater pushed me.

Gabriel had been minding his own business. No really! He’d been sitting at his usual table at Charlie’s café, working on his next book, minding his own business. Things were slow at the café that day so whenever people walked in the movement made him look up on autopilot. Which is why, when He walked in, Gabriel looked up at the counter.

Gabriel’s mind ground to a halt as the hottest guy he’d ever seen in his life walked up to the counter and placed an order. He was tall and broad in ways that made Gabriel want to be curled up against his chest, with long brown hair that almost reached his shoulders. He was dressed in an expensive looking suit and carrying a mess of important looking papers in one hand. He started to turn, and Gabriel got a glimpse of bright hazel eyes and broad shoulders before he caught himself and ducked back behind the screen of his laptop blushing furiously. He hunched in on himself and rubbed a hand over the back of his neck, shoving his glasses back up on the bridge of his nose he forced himself to keep typing and not look over at the table next to him.

Time ground on and Gabriel found it almost impossible to focus on his work, so he opened his Tumblr account instead and messaged Charlie. He heard her phone ping with his furious messages but didn't look up to where she stood behind the counter. She was trying to convince him to go over and talk to the hot guy, and he was desperately trying to sack up and go over.

In the end, blushing furiously and purposefully not looking at the Adonis at the next table he went over to the counter to get a fresh coffee and stole some receipt paper and a pen from Charlie and, quickly scribbling a note, demanded that she deliver it with one of the oatmeal cookies he supplied the café with each week. Then he ducked back to his seat and kept his head down to try and get some work done, carefully not looking as Charlie headed over to the table with the cookie and the note.

Sam had been desperately trying to organise his notes in the recess of the trial to make sure his client had the best chance of getting off without jail time. The kid didn't deserve it, he'd been kicked out of home for being gay and wound up on the streets, the charges were a simple B&E and all he'd done was break in and sleep on the couch of a house he'd thought was empty because it had been below zero. Sam was pretty confident that he'd get off with a warning but he wanted to be sure, and he needed to go see Cas at the refuge after the trial so he needed to get the final arguments done and a verdict handed down as soon as possible. He'd ducked into a coffee shop for a veggie burger and a coffee while he scribbled counter-arguments to the other guy’s points. Faintly he noticed the guy at the table next to him tapping furiously away on his laptop, glasses perched adorably on a cute nose and golden brown hair swept back from his face, curling a little at the collar of his hoodie. He was packing up his notes to head back to the courthouse when the waitress came over with a cookie and a handwritten note on a scrap of receipt paper,

 Hi, this is probably awkward and weird, but I think you're gorgeous and I'd like to buy you a coffee. If you're interested feel free to join me or not as the case may be.

He smiled a little and grabbed the waitresses attention,

"look I'm running late for court but, who was this from?"

She grinned at him and pointed to the writer in the glasses at the next table,

“from that idiot,”

“could you tell him I'm really flattered, and I feel terrible not coming over, but I really am running late."

With that, he dashed out of the café and up the street. At the door to the courthouse, he unceremoniously shoved the whole cookie in his mouth and instantly regretted not savouring it. It was the best damn thing he'd ever tasted, and it was gone. He patted his jeans pocket where de tucked the note. He'd have to go back tomorrow at lunch and see if the guy who’d given them to him wanted to buy him another. Grinning he pushed through the door

In his periphery Gabriel saw the guy get up, he refused to look up from his laptop. This was it. Yeh or Nay. He kept the guy in his peripheral vision and held his breath; he was blushing and trembling with nerves. Then, suddenly, he was gone. Gabriel wanted to cry, Charlie met his eyes and ran over.

A growl of frustration resonated in his chest,

“God I am so stupid! What was I thinking Charlie?!”

The next few minutes Charlie couldn’t get a word in around Gabriel’s self-flagellations. She let it go on for a little while and then when he paused for breath she closed his laptop and placed his coffee beside him,

“He didn’t reject you, dummy,”

Gabriel looked at her askance,

"He was running late, he asked who it was from, and I told him you, and he said to tell you he feels bad, but he's running really late, and he had to go."

Gabriel stared at her in disbelief, and then another thought struck him, and he wailed,

“CHARLIE! I AM A MORON!”

She blinked at him in shock, Gabriel almost never raised his voice, something to do with his brothers arguing growing up,

“I FORGOT TO PUT MY NUMBER ON THE NOTE!”

The rest is here on Ao3. Hope you all enjoy. @arvit @annie-thyme @spookydefendordreamer and also @belehakalife idk if it's your thing but have some fluff.

[sniperofmyheart]

STORY STARTERS MEME

Rules: List the first lines of your last 15 stories. See if there are any patterns. Then tag 10 of your favourite authors!  Do it if you are interested? @maychorian​ @danosphere91​ Tagged by @justira​

I don’t even know if I have 15 stories. I am going with the first paragraph or first indent not including dialogue if that makes sense. Starting from most recent. I am including different chapters as otherwise I won’t have 15. I feel like I am missing a WIP but I can’t find it found it!

1. Sad Fic (WIP no real title yet)

“Hey guys!! Look who we’ve got!’

They hadn’t even arrived at Wano, and Luffy was already screaming. He stood on the railing and pointed proudly at Sanji, who tried his best to hide behind Brook.  So much for a silent approach.  Having just escaped from one Emperor, Sanji couldn’t shake the feeling that any second Kaido would come barrelling down on them. Best not to tempt fate. The Sunny pulled  into the hidden harbour with very little fanfare, besides the fanfare that Luffy self generated. There was a crowd to greet them but first glance he couldn’t spot any familiar faces. There wasn’t a smile among them.  Luffy was smiling enough for them all as he danced along the railing and dove into the crowd, his arms swinging back and shit, Sanji  and the rest was dragged down as well. One of these days he was going to figure out how far that his damn captain could stretch and stay a good foot beyond that near any high places.

2. Chopper’s Dream (WIP. Title to change)

The lights were off in the infirmary. Sanji had seen Chopper run in not too long ago, so just in case, he knocked as he entered. Chopper did take reindeernaps in here after all.

“Chopper? I brought some tea and cookies, the ladies didn’t want it all”

The small reindeer had his head on the desk, turned, eyes staring into the wall

Sanji carefully set the platter between Chopper and the wall, and waited.

Chopper continued to stare through the ever so delicious tea and cookies at the wall.

3. Raftel (WIP)

They had finally made it, Raftel. The imposing cliff face loomed over them. All those years of fighting, crying and laughing, suddenly felt very small before it. Even Usopp, brave warrior of the sea that he was, felt his knees shake a little. This was the end. The last island, X that marks the spot.  What could possibly be up there that was worth all this? Even with everything  they had seen, if he was really honest with himself, Usopp had no idea what the One Piece was. A mountain of gold? “Made you look” ponoglyphed into a wall? A doodle of sea gull with God D roger’s autograph at the bottom? Nothing could surprise him anymore. He looked over at Robin, she probably had a better idea. Even with the wind splashing the stinging seawater into the crew’s eyes, she kept looking forward, unblinkingly.

4. Reindeernapping Chapter 4 (WIP)

The Sunny was docked slightly away from the main harbour, tucked away half hidden. Apparently the locals (thanks Franky for the intel) were okay with pirates as long as they were seen and not heard. Zoro was on the deck trying to sleep as  Luffy continued the Chopper hunt. Cause of course Chopper might of just fallen asleep in a barrel or climbed up into the crow’s nest. Zoro couldn’t wait to see the shit cook’s face when he saw his kitchen, Luffy had opened every single drawer and cabinet, on the off chance that Chopper had somehow managed to shrink down to 6 inches and decided to hid with the spoons. Once he had satisfied himself that Chopper hadn’t buried himself into any of the bags of flour Luffy stumbled from the kitchen, caked in white powder and launched himself to the figure head. He lay out and stared at the sea

“This is sooooo booooringg! I want to look for Chopper too!”

5. Emergency Food Supply (WIP)

It has been 19 days, three hours, fifteen minutes and 30 seconds since they had last eaten. Not that Chopper was keeping count. Counting required energy. Luffy’s stomach didn’t so much as growl anymore, it was just a dull constant roar against the ocean.  Despite Thriller Bark being behind them, they still couldn’t find their way out of the fog that was the Florian Triangle. 

6. Shut Up Kiss Chapter 3 Lusopp 

They were sailing away. The cannonballs crashing into the ocean were so loud that Usopp could barely think straight, but the silence from the ship was deafening. They were going to leave him.

“If that’s what you want… let me say one last thing. You guys…” he tries to yell but it only comes out as a kind of whisper. What was the point, his throat was already sore from screaming and they were sailing away.

7. Physician Inquisition

“I HOPE YOU CHOKE ON THAT APPLE AND DIE YOU BASTARD!”

BZZZZZZ

“GOD DAMN CHARLEY HORSE!”

BZZZZZZ

“HEY I AM NOT A HORSE! I AM A REINDEER”

BZZZZZZ

Nami poked her head into the sick bay,

“Is everything all right in there?”

8. Don't Play With Your Food

Sanji stared at the freezer door and took a deep breath. He must have misread it, or it was mislabeled, or this was all some kind of fevered dream. If this was a fever dream, he expected some beautiful dancing ladies. He opened the freezer door and pulled out the parcel. Venison. So not dancing ladies then. In little black letters clear as day and beside it almost as an afterthought, reindeer. It sounded like a devil fruit, the venison venison fruit mode reindeer. A small slightly hysterical laugh escaped his mouth and he bit his lip but it still echoed through the kitchen. This wasn’t a devil fruit or some kind of joke, it was a slab of meat. Reindeer meat. In his freezer. Outside he could hear the tap-tap of hooves and a gentle high-pitched laugh. Their emergency food supply new crewmate, he really should stop those jokes, was fitting in well. He stared harder at the letters willing them to rearrange themselves. Fantastic.

9. Wedding Feast

“Welcome to my humble kitchen Lord Sanji” the head chef was groveling so hard his white chef hat scrapped on the ground. His hat seemed wrong, too small.

“Get up. I just wanted to have a look around, it is my wedding feast after all.”

The chef straightened himself.

“Why yes Lord Sanji, of course. I had heard rumours that our great Lord spent some time at a restaurant, so any comments or suggestions are more than welcome.”

The bustle of white smocks around him, the sizzling of pans and the smell of garlic filled the room. Throw in some swearing and a few half dozen tattooed men and you would almost have the Baratie. For the first time since he had arrived at Germa Kingdom, he almost felt at home. He had missed the bustle and the noise. The kitchen was never quiet even back on the Sunny. Someone was always whining for more meat, trying to sneak sake or sweets, and trying to drink all of his milk or cola in one go. Or just dropping by to talk and getting bullied into cutting veggies and washing dishes. He really should ask Franky to put a lock on the door, give him some peace and quiet for a change. But then the ladies wouldn't be able to drop by. Choices choices.

10. Man Overboard

“MAN OVER BOARD MAN OVER BOARD”

Sanji was already in the water looking around frantically so Usopp though it was safe to check who had fallen in. As Chopper and Luffy were the ones yelling their heads off a bit further down the ship with fishing rod in hand, or well hoof, it wasn’t them. Brook had come running over with his violin (how that would help a drowning person is anyone’s guess), and he could see one of Robin’s hand with an eye in the centre sprouted on the side of the ship scanning the water as well. So it wasn’t any of the devil fruit users, that was a relief. Nami had poked her head out of the girl’s room to see what the fuss was about her mapping pen still in hand and Franky had poked his head out of the bathroom. Which left Zoro. Had he somehow managed to wander off the ship into the sea, was that even possible? There weren’t any marine ships around so it wasn’t a surprise attack that had knocked him in. Maybe he fell asleep on the railing and tipped over? But just as Usopp had settled on this, he heard a loud voice behind him “What is taking that damn curly brow so long?”

11. The Question

There is a rare moment of silence, the Merry has burned and the Straw Hats are wiping their eyes and trying to catch their breath. The mighty Sogeking takes a deep breath and grabs Luffy’s hand, half dragging him away from everyone else. Or at least he tries to, but dragging a rubber man by the hand is surprisingly difficult and kind of awkward. You end up standing a few feet away with his stretched arm between the two of you as he picks his nose with the other. After some anxious head tilting and whispering what could be misunderstood to be the word meat, Luffy shuffles over. It is quiet and Luffy has to lean in a little to hear it properly but Sogeking manages to squeak it out

“Can I join the crew?”

no bravado no tall tales and Luffy just smiles.

“No way!”.

12. Reindeernapping Chapter 3

He had built the Shark Submerge III to carry up to three people so with only himself inside there was plenty of room, but the metallic echo of his own breathing and the itching sense that time was passing too fast was making Franky feel queasy. Being a dozen or so feet underwater and forced to wear unnatural pants wasn’t helping matters either. He would give anything for that squeaky little voice to start chirping away, dancing around the cabin asking silly questions about what each button did. Instead there was silence. Franky stared out the reinforced glass viewing window scanning the ocean view. If Little Bro was here, he wouldn’t miss him. One of the handy things about being a cyborg was that blinking was purely optional. With a few drops in his eyes every morning, he might blink once or twice a day, if at all. He had won a lot of money off Long Nose Bro that way, the poor kid couldn't say no to a staring contest. Franky usually wore his shades to avoid giving anyone the creeps but with an empty submarine, that wasn’t an issue.

13. Reindeernapping Chapter 2

The pink and purple smoke was still hanging in the air. Franky couldn’t help asking

“How do you guys usually go about finding lost people? This can’t be the first time this has happened, right?”

“ Chopper just tracks Zoro-I mean Chopper tends to sniff people out” Long Nose answered.

”Fantastic ”

He had seen a bit of their finding people attempts back at Water Seven, and been less than impressed. Franky sat down with a thud on the grass.

14. Reindeernapping Chapter 1

Grocery shopping was distinctly not super. Franky and Reindeer Gorilla had gotten stuck with last minute supplies duty as Cook Bro was too busy protecting the fresh meat and booze from Straw Hat and Sword Bro. Cook Bro had given them an extensive list and Reindeer Gorrilla had his own list of herbs and textbooks he wanted to get. It all added up to quite a haul so someone needed to order and pay while Reindeer Gorilla lugged everything around. Merchants didn’t take kindly to animals placing orders. So Franky volunteered to be Reindeer Gorilla’s designated human. He wanted to get to know his new crew mates outside the yelling and screaming that was Enies Lobby. The market place was jam packed, a lot of elbows to the stomach and competing smells that didn’t quite go together. Fresh flowers, half rotten cabbages and the body odour of the crowd (he was going to have to force Lil Bro to take a bath eventually, the smell was ridiculous) were enough to make his nose rust. It kind of reminded Franky of back home, he has barely left it 72 hours ago and he was definitely not crying. Rubbing his super dry eyes, he stared down at Cook Bro’s list. It seemed like he had everything. A note was scribbled on the bottom ‘Absolutely no cotton candy, that means you Chopper' Franky snorted.

“Reindeer Gorilla, look at this-”

But he was speaking to thin air. The parcel packed Reindeer Gorilla was gone.

15. Shut Up Kiss Chapter 2 Lusopp

“Thinking back, when I was about to sail out, you guys asked me to join you. That's all that's tying us together. We don't have to-”

Something slams into Usopp’s face and everything goes dark. Luffy had been across the room sulking in the wrecked table, right? Had Luffy punched him? Or Gum Gum belled him in the face? Usopp peeks his eyes open, he didn’t remember closing them, and finds himself staring into black circles. Luffy was close, too close. Close enough for Usopp to pluck out his stupid eyelashes one by one. The words won’t come out, he can’t breath. Something was blocking his mouth or rather someone was. Luffy. This wasn’t a surprise punch to the face or a head butt. This was something else.

[neriad13]

I am spiritually exhausted.

At first I was really annoyed by it. I’d gotten enough rest, drunk enough water, been eating fruits and veggies. And yet...I feel like I’m a thousand years old. My legs ache. Whenever I lay down I could sleep for an hour at minimum. Did I run a marathon in my sleep? Stop it body, I did no such thing. You’re being ridiculous. I have to work. It’s busy season and there’s a tournament this weekend, god, stop.

And then I realized that I’d felt this way once before. 

It was immediately after my sister had died. Watching her go through cancer treatment was like carrying an unbearably heavy weight across an uncaring desert. You can’t set it down for anything and you can’t stop, no matter how the sand-laden wind stings your eyes or your tongue swells in your mouth. Stopping is Death. Slowing is failure. Failure is not an option. 

And when it was over...

The funeral was done, the well-wishers gone home. I’d been hugged by a hundred people I didn’t know. That was when I set down my burden and started screaming internally for real.

oH my GOd whAT THE FucK diD yoU DOOOOOO???!!!!!!!

LOOK at thaT THING, the fuck, the fuck, THE FUCK what the shit oh god

a person cant carry that without breaking their spine and you - HOW??? WHY??? No, no, no...

I...I can’t...okay? 

Just...let me heal...I’ll tell you when.

I don’t think I had a single scrap of energy for, at the minimum, an entire month. In all likelihood it went on longer. A lot of that time is blocked out from my memories. I was mostly shuffling to and from work, alternating between crying in the clothing racks and playing video games endlessly. There was school in there too, somewhere. I’d spent so much effort willing my sister to live. Emotional work had more of an effect on physical health than I’d ever thought possible.

So...two days ago I came out to my mom. I’d been hiding my true self from her for an entire year. I was perpetually terrified to talk about anything LGBT+ related to any family member. If I mentioned it and then they asked me if I was...? No, no, no...can’t do it. Error. Blue screen of death. The only thing that convinced me otherwise was the presence of a solid backup plan if I no longer had a place to live. And the gnawing hurt that someone I was once close to really knew nothing about me.

She took it surprisingly well, considering. She'd had her suspicions, as I'd suspected. She asked me if I was happy. Crying, I'd told her "yes." She was not so sold on the butchness as she was the straight-up lesbianism, but that's a battle I've been fighting for a very long time.

That night, I was over the moon. I rolled around in bed excitedly, chatting with friends about it in the wee hours of the morning, unable to sleep even after I'd put the laptop aside. In the morning, I was dead.

I forced myself blearily through the workday, drove home without incident, walked the dogs and collapsed, unconscious the second I hit the bed. I didn't think I'd ever been that tired before.

I spent the rest of the evening reading things that made me smile and watching funny videos. Something had happened yesterday. I figured that the only thing I could do was be kind to myself tonight. I made sure to get to bed on time and spend a reasonable portion of the night sleeping.

That...was not a thing that helped.

I suffered through another workday, making 1382679909 fruit cups for the incoming golfers' breakfast. On the way home, I was nearly sideswiped by a speeding van that my weary brain could not see.

And then, sitting at my desk, the house still, the dogs content, I turned around and looked at the enormity of the burden I'd left behind me. All that effort covering the queer things about me, my life, my friends. All that time spent planning and plotting this moment, dreaming of the day when I would be free. All those months of fear and longing, of silent seething, voiceless rage. How does anyone do this without breaking?

I haven't totally made it across the desert yet - there's still my father to come out to. That one may well prove to be much more difficult. But it isn't nearly as bad in my mind as I used to think it was. I've done the impossible once before. A second go? Right now, that's nothing.

After I nap for a week, maybe.