#whosawhatsit? livestreaming a ranger mission?

[paldean-ranger-brandy]

Monday has been banned from the stream guys (wouldn't stop screaming every time Iono tried to speak).

[paldean-ranger-brandy]

Excuse me random anon, a) please don't take pictures of me at work and b) Brandy knows I have my Bulbasaur. I'm the one who let her know about these Pokemon turning up and mentioned the little guy. (Little guy is doing fine, got different set ups in my apartment for him and my Umbreon to take in account their needs and made sure I got advice for the right stuff from Nurse Joy).

Motherfucker, you see? This is what I'm talking about. Making everything hyper-public all the time just leads to putting random, innocent people on blast. If I could have just been allowed to do my job the same way I ALWAYS do it this wouldn't have happened.

Don't film people without consent. Don't film people at all. Don't film anything. Snap your phone in half and learn to commune with nature. Jackasses.

[paldean-ranger-brandy]

I think I found one of those weird Pokemon that's been hanging around Levincia last night.

*picture taken inside Levincia supermarket, an employee is seen from behind stacking shelves, an Umbreon is sitting by the employee's foot and a Bulbasaur is on the employee's other side passing a pack of cookies up with it's vines, a circle is crudely drawn around the Bulbasaur*

Besties I know we all want to be Solving The Mystery but I think there is enough filming people without consent going on in my life right now. Namely of me, by Iono, who wants to do another stream tonight. So if you could all just not tune in, that would be great.

Also that bulbasaur definitely belongs to that dude. We can't just start witch hunting every person with a non-Paldean starter. It's just not very cash money of you. Or actually helpful.

[paldean-ranger-brandy]

Why are you being terrorized by a fart witch

FUCK if I know man. She will not leave me alone though, I'll tell you that for free. She wouldn't sign off on the city search until I agreed to be in her little videos, so this is just my life now

[paldean-ranger-brandy]

[A link to a FarTwitch'd video clip. Press play?]

We seem to be starting partway through a stream, Iono is of course front and centre, smiling her big, shark-toothed smile at the camera. Brandy can be seen in the background, looking to be a combination of confused and angry. Medusa, the massive murderous mightyena, sits beside her wearing a nearly identical expression. The rest of the pack cannot be seen. They appear to be in some sort of meeting room.

"...What the fuck are you talking about?" Brandy asks, prompting a flurry of activity from the chat.

"Uh-oh, BWOMP BWOOOOMP!" Iono dramatically flinches, making an X with her arms and scrunching up her face in an imitation of anger that is clearly still meant to be read as cute. "No swearing on stream! We like to keep it fun for everyone at the Iono zone!"

"Okay, then edit it out or whatever." Another flurry of activity in the chat, the phrase 'bro doesn't know what a stream is' can be seen multiple times. "Anyways, I don't want to be in your video in the first-"

"Whosawhatit?" Iono cuts them off, quickly and effortlessly retaking control of the stream before Brandy can actually voice her protest. "Don't you worry, miss Ranger! I'll be sure to teach you allllll about the Iono Zone before our next stream."

"What? We don't need to-"

"Next time we see miss Ranger here, she'll be a certified streaming EXPERT."

"I literally just need permission for my team to-"

"WHOSAWHATSIT? Iono and miss ranger - thank you for the gift, Mr. Electrowebs! - are going to team up to take down a band of NASTY smugglers. Make sure you don't miss a second, we're gonna blow your socks off with a bunch of ACTION PACKED BAD GUY TAKE DOWNS."

"NO-"

"Catch us next time, for the IONO AND RANGER TEAM UP! Ciao!"

[Clip ends.]

[paldean-ranger-brandy]

Another Fennekin just turned up. I think. Looks a little different to the one the Poke Mart guy found, though.

*picture of a grey Fennekin taking a nap just inside the door to the supermarket in Levincia*

Nurse Joy popped in and collected it to check it over.

Not looking good! I did the typical first steps for investigating these things and there is no absent minded breeder or researcher we can blame for this.

Guess I have to pull a team together to do a little look around. Iono still hasn't acknowledged that message I sent her, should probably follow up there too.

Skies above, I hate urban missions.

[paldean-ranger-brandy]

Want me to hack the stream? I don't actually know how to do that but want me to try?

- @feindly-fire

Yeah put stink lines over her. It'll be funny.

[paldean-ranger-brandy]

I saw a strange Pokémon by the opticians in Levincia

I could scold you for telling me over rotumblr but with the way things are going I'm getting half of my information through a fucking Fartwitch'd stream chat so do whatever the fuck you want forever I guess

[paldean-ranger-brandy]

*link to security footage from Capbourg's Levincia branch showing a Rowlett flying in, briefly landing on a kid's head before flying off out of the store carrying the hat the kid was wearing*

Why's everyone on their damned phones these days huh? Why is this poor, clearly invasive, likely smuggled in pokemon gotta be filmed without his consent? Why can't he just do things like he's always done, without someone yapping beside him talking about clout and views and talking to some invisible entity named Chat. Why's it gotta be like this. For him.

[paldean-ranger-brandy]

*image of a Popplio next to one of the Crepe karts in Levincia* Nurse Joy's on her way over to pick it up.

Aye, I do have a team together now, so some of them are heading out to meet with Levincia's pokemon centres to gather some data about the pokemon that we've been picking up. The data a styler captures can give us a better picture of what we're dealing with, so that should give us a clue as to where to start with this whole mess.

I don't get to join them though, miss dipshit gym leader finally responded, she wants to have a meeting with me about it all. Blech 👎

[paldean-ranger-brandy]

Any idea what this is?

*image of a Rowlett sat atop the Pokemon center in the south side of Levincia*

Oh yeah, that's an image of a Rowlett sat atop the Pokemon center in the south side of Levincia.

The image description software goes hard on this app man. How'd it know where in Levincia this was taken?

[paldean-ranger-brandy]

I go to Naranja-Uva Academy. Last school year, I was doing the treasure hunt, near the end of it I was just outside Levincia with a friend and we found a Piplup and a Chimchar, I caught the Piplup and my friend took the Chimchar. We thought it was odd that they didn't register in the Pokedex. At first we thought it might be a glitch but we haven't met anyone else with either of them. We still have them and have evolved them. Are they not supposed to be in Paldea? Should we have not caught them? Do we need to hand them in?

No you don't have to hand them in or anything but you DO have to read Kazumi Langlois' book "A part of nature: Proper environment caretaking for trainers" front to back and then put the principles she describes into practice.

Also generally speaking if ever you catch a mon that doesn't register to the dex or that you think is weird you should report it - either at a pokemon centre or ranger base. We won't take it from you (unless it belongs somewhere else or needs medical attention) but we do need to know about that kind of thing.

[paldean-ranger-brandy]

*link to a video of Iono interacting with fans outside of her gym, a Popplio is occasionally visible, occasionally blocked by people, near the gym entrance*

Bitch someone get in her chatspace or whatever it is called and ask her to ANSWER HER FUCKING EMAIL

[paldean-ranger-brandy]

*link to video obviously filmed by a customer in a clothing store, the location tag of the video states Levincia Paldea. In the video, a Charmander has wandered into the store and is near a rail full of clothes by the counter. Behind the counter, the poor employee is obviously panicking about this strange creature and holding on to her Smoliv. The Charmander's tail flame comes dangerously close to some merchandise as several other customers are seen filming*

[The video file has been redacted from this post]

Thank God u filmed that poor employee and sent it anonymously to a ranger's personal blog. Genius move, absolutely the timely way to both get my attention and also violate the entire person's autonomy.

I did get a report about this instance a few hours ago (pokemon is fine). But even still, the best case scenario is still that you fucking sent in a report to my operator directly and then whipped out your camera to film this person for no reason. Worst case the report I got was filed by someone else in that store and ur actual first response was to film someone and send it anonymously. Dipshit behaviour.

Go apologize to that employee rn.

[paldean-ranger-brandy]

She answered it fucking wrong UGH I hate her so fyucking much

*link to a video of Iono interacting with fans outside of her gym, a Popplio is occasionally visible, occasionally blocked by people, near the gym entrance*

Bitch someone get in her chatspace or whatever it is called and ask her to ANSWER HER FUCKING EMAIL