#whoops here I go rambling about Dean Winchester again

[destiel-more-like-im-dead-again]

I’m supposed to be finishing my whumptober ’23 fic but I just keep writing new multi chapter prompts and concepts for myself

[holyhellpod]

4. Fambily

In this episode, we skim the surface of the fambily dynamics in Supernatural, which are--ah. Dicey at best. 

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Transcript under the cut!

Content warnings: domestic violence and family abuse

[Growl]

Ah, the Winchesters. Where do we even start. Unhinged, deranged, and continually traumatised in every way, Sam and Dean complete each other. At least, that’s what the show wants us to think. Despite the ways they betray each other, lie to each other, and  piss each other off, they are fambily. And fambily is the most important thing. The concept of Fambily in the show Supernatural (2005-2020) takes many twists and turns throughout its run. In the first five minutes of episode one, the heteronormative, nuclear family of John, Mary, Sam and Dean is ripped apart by an unknown, antagonistic force that represents all the evil in the world. It creeps into a nursery and eviscerates a white, blonde mother while preying upon a 👶, I mean, how much more evil can you get? It’s fantastic that, in the later seasons especially, Supernatural embraces this idea that fambily doesn’t end in blood, but blood doesn’t always mean fambily. By the end of the series, the fambily concept has expanded to include two dads, an aunt and uncle, and a thirty-year old infant. I’m going to talk about the finale in its own episode, so that my ire will have its proper outlet. 

When the show starts, Sam, Dean and John have each other, and only each other. By the time season 2 really kicks off, Sam and Dean don’t have John anymore, but they do have Bobby Singer. The concept of the triumvirate follows them throughout the series as though they’re in a less sexy Italo Calvino novel—first Sam, Dean and John, then Sam, Dean and Bobby, then Sam, Dean and Ruby, then Sam, Dean and Cas, then Sam, Dean and Mary, then Sam, Dean and Jack. It’s broken in seasons 13-15 when Cas comes back and they have a family of four, and then five when Mary can stand to see her boys.  

But the Winchesters are not the only fambily in Supernatural who matter. In season two, we’re introduced to the Harvelles, mother Ellen and daughter Jo, who are a hunting fambily who run a hunter pub in the middle of whoop whoop. A pub that Eric Kripke famously hated, and rejoiced when he burnt it down at the end of season 2, because the Winchesters and by extension everyone they know aren’t allowed to have anything good ever. It’s revealed in season two episode “No Exit” that John got Jo’s father killed on a hunt, which obviously affects Jo more than it does Sam and Dean. 

[Editing note:] Okay I’m editing this episode, and I’m not happy with it. I’m not going to scrap it completely because I think I do have good points to say, but the general analysis of this episode is so surface level. It is basically contributing nothing to the conversation. And I started this podcast in order to actually contribute something to the culture. I could make a bunch of text posts on tumblr or I could spend hours and hours and hours and hours of my life to something that — I don’t know. Is it bringing me joy? Not at the moment. But, yeah. So I’m not going to scrap this episode completely but this is my way of saying from now on the episodes are going to take as much as they will take and I will commit myself to having deeper and more thoughtful analysis. And if I have to spend an entire episode on one aspect of one thing, I will. I could be at university right now studying a masters or a PhD in fucking literary analysis but instead I’m sitting on my bed making a Supernatural podcast because it brings me joy. It does. It really makes me happy and I don’t want to abandon this project, because people are listening to it. I don’t know why, I don’t know what you like it about it, but you’re listening. And I just think I owe it to myself to make things that I support 100%. So I’ll continue this episode and hopefully this rambling hasn’t put you off it completely. But from now on, I’m going to really, really talk about things that matter in regards to Supernatural… Kind of an oxymoron. Kind of a contradiction. But things that contribute to the cultural consciousness instead of just rehashing the road so far. That’s all I want to do. I want to contribute. I want to say good…ful things. Okay this is making me happy. It’s already working, it’s already making me happy. I’m just going to keep rambling and laughing. Okay so, more thoughtful analysis, deeper analysis. Things that make you think. Things that make me think. Instead of just a bunch of words that mean nothing. Okay, continuing on.

Okay to figure out which episode this was I had to watch a little bit of season two, and I’m still on my season 13 rewatch. The difference between the two seasons. I don’t know if I can even put into words the growth this show has gone through, and the characters have gone through, over the last 15 years. It would be like summarising my own growth by combing through my extensive diary collection and the years of societally- and governmentally-enforced heterosexuality that has plagued my entire life. Those boys are babies in season two. The bootcut jeans alone. Sam is literally 23 years old. I don’t even talk to 23 year olds. I block them on social media.  

The Harvelles are a blip in the Winchester map. While the actors Samantha Ferris and Chad Lindberg did attempt to resuscitate their cultural currency months after the show ended by participating in an event — okay I can’t. I can’t even go into it. Like, clearly Samantha Ferris heard back from her representation as soon as she started posting those tweets and realised she wouldn’t continue to get money if she endorsed, well, the gays. And Chad Lindberg was just using the clout to push his Etsy wares like a 14th century merchant, so I gotta respect the hustle. But Jo and Ellen die in season 5 episode ��Abandon All Hope” and are barely mentioned again except the episode Ash appears in, season 5 “Dark side of the moon,” Jo in season 7, “Defending Your Life,” and Ellen in the season 6 episode “My heart will go on.” They didn’t exactly leave what you would call a lasting impact for the next, you know, ten seasons. 

To be honest, I’m not sure when it’s revealed that Bobby’s wife died after being possessed by a demon. It’s made clear in season 5 “Dead Men Don’t Wear Plaid,” and I did not have to look that up, because season four and five are burned into my retinas like a particularly nasty sun flare. Bobby outlines the horrific way he killed his wife, because why not throw some spousal violence into the mix, and later in season 7 “Death’s Door,” it elaborates on their life together. I saw this sentiment expressed on TikTok, which we all know as the foundation of cultural knowledge, which was that fambilies don’t need to be two parents and children. Fambilies can be spouses or partners. You don’t need to have children in order to be a fambily. I think that’s a very nice sentiment and I’ve chosen to adopt it for these purposes. Bobby and his wife Karen are a fambily. While Karen wants kids, Bobby chooses not to have them for fear of becoming like his father and repeating the trauma he inflicted on Bobby. Bobby and Karen’s fambily dynamic is ruptured in the same way that John and Mary’s is—by an intrusive, demonic force that brings Bobby into the hunting world and ends Karen’s life. But by the time we see him at the end of season 1, Bobby is already ingratiated into Sam and Dean’s lives as their surrogate father, and this bond only deepens as the show progresses. Bobby expresses the sentiment to Dean to not be like John, that Dean is already a better man that his father ever was. Isn’t that what we all want to hear? That we have superseded our parents and outgrown them in ways they could never comprehend? Don’t we just want to be better than the generations that came before us, in order to mould a better world for the generations that come after us? Don’t we want to make things easier for our children, and our friends’ children, and our siblings’ children? Dean is a better man than John, and Bobby is better man than his father ever was. It’s about breaking the cycles of intergenerational trauma. I have to believe that Sam, Dean and Bobby did this, because then it’s possible for me to do the same thing. Include here that speech about representation in media that I didn’t bother writing for the last episode. Bobby is the surrogate father to Sam and Dean, a better father than John was, a better hunter even. He crafts an entire network of hunters who report to him, as seen in the season 6 episode “Weekend at Bobby’s,” and he continues to act as Sam and Dean’s mentor until his death in season 7 “How to win friends and influence monsters”. An alternate universe version of Bobby is introduced in season 13, which I have my reservations about, and he and Mary get together, which again, why. Season 13 is so hard to sit through. 

A fambily that is introduced late into the series and is simply NOT given enough screen time is the Banes fambily. In season 12, “Celebrating the life of Asa Fox,” we are introduced to the Banes twins, Max and Alicia, who are by far the most gorgeous hunters we’ve seen in the series. They are hunters raised by a witch, Tasha Banes, who doesn’t appear yet, and they manage to survive the trial by fire that is overcoming the demon Jael. Later in this season, in the episode “Twigs and Twane and Tasha Banes,” both of which are written by the late great Steve Yockey, we are introduced to Tasha in a way that seems awfully familiar: Alicia calls Sam to say their mother has gone missing on a hunt, and hasn’t checked in in a few days. By the end of the episode, Alicia and Tasha are dead, and Max has ostensibly sold his soul for the power to bring Alicia back. The Banes twins’ storyline directly parallels Sam and Dean’s from the pilot, but it’s a tragedy from the outset. We already know Tasha is dead and they can’t save her, however, like Dean does for Sam at the end of season 2, Max chooses to save Alicia at the expense of his own soul. Spin off when. Banes twins series when. I’m waiting. They were in two episodes and I’m still thinking about them. The Harvelles are dust. 

In season 7, “Reading is Fundamental,” a waifish 17 year old honour’s student Kevin Tran breaks into a rehabilitation facility to steal a tablet. This starts a chain of events that ingratiates Kevin Tran in the apocalyptic, death-succumbing world of the Winchesters, starting with Dick Roman, head leviathan, and continuing, but not culminating, with his death at the hands of Gadreel, who was possessing Sam, it’s a whole thing. Any time you attempt to summarise anything on Supernatural, you sound like a lunatic. And I say that as someone who has a supernatural podcast, with an audience of only supernatural fans. We are lunatics, but we’re lunatics together. Kevin’s arc was cut way too short, but we at least got to see him with his momma Linda in the beginnings of season 8 with the unfortunately named episode “What’s up, Tiger Mommy?” It introduces Linda Tran as a capable and worldly woman, hell bent on protecting her son. She offers up her soul among other things in exchange for Kevin and the tablet with him. During the episode, she is possessed by Crowley, and Dean attempts to kill him, which would mean killing Linda as well. Kevin considers this the ultimate betrayal and leaves with his mum. Later in season 9 episode “Captives,” Linda is reintroduced as a captive of Crowley, who escapes with Sam’s help. Back at the bunker, she reunites with Kevin, who is now, thanks to the Winchesters’ incompetence, a ghost 👻. My macbook keeps suggesting little emojis in the smart bar so I just gotta put ‘em in. That’s the last we see of Linda, so I’m drawing my own conclusions about whether she gets to live a long and happy life. Kevin is a fan favourite and despite my reservations about Osric Chau which I will not get into like ever I really like Kevin too. He outsmarts Crowley many times and shows remarkable tenacity to get an impossible job done. His desire to see his mum again, the driving force behind his actions, mirrors Dean’s desperation to have his fambily together again like they used to be. I would call this a parallel but I don’t believe they purposefully did this, I just think they accidentally rehashed the same tired storyline they’ve been peddling since 2005. But yeah, if I was Kevin and all I had was my mum, seeing her again would be the driving force for my actions as well. Kevin’s father is never mentioned, and it honestly isn’t a big deal, which is great. Sometimes fathers are just absent, and you don’t need throw a hissy fit about it or make it your entire personality, Dean.

Missouri Moseley, played by the inimitable Loretta Devine, is introduced in the first season, episode “Home,” in which she helps out on a case involving Sam and Dean’s childhood house. We find out that Missouri is a long-time friend of John’s and helped him to understand that supernatural forces were behind Mary’s death. She is Sam and Dean’s first point of entry into the world of the Supernatural, and they didn’t know it until they meet her in “Home”. In season 13 episode “Patience,” another layer to Missouri’s character is added with the advent of her family: estranged son James and granddaughter Patience Turner, who is also a psychic. We get a lot of backstory for Missouri in this episode, even if it is sloppily written and contradictory to the way they initially set her up. If Missouri and James had been travelling when he was a child, why was she stationed in Lawrence in both 1983 and 2005? What did he mean that Missouri was hunting? I can’t be bothered unpacking the confusing bits of information presented in this episode. It’s not a good episode and I really don’t see why everyone goes apeshit for Bobo Berens. He kills Missouri in this episode, in a really horrible way. Like the history of Supernatural’s racism and misogyny should not be dumped on one man, but nor should it be perpetuated and it is continually throughout the entire show. Confusing, contradictory and badly written backstory aside, she is an interesting character, and her willingness to sacrifice herself to save her family echoes that of Mary in “Home”. I’m actually really mad that Patience never gets to have a relationship with Missouri, and later in season 13 episode “The Bad Place,” Patience’s father tells her that if she leaves to help The Winchesters and uses her psychic abilities, she’s not welcome back in his house. To me that’s just unnecessary. We have a family that has already been ruptured by the death of Patience’s mother, further ruptured by Patience’s father cutting off contact with Missouri, and then to go a step further he disintegrates their family unit by kicking Patience out. Like how much loss do the Moseley-Turners have to endure? It’s really just cruel at this point. But Patience does find family with Jodie, Donna, Claire, Alex and eventually Kaia, and while I love the concept of found family and this found family in particular, it comes at the expense of biological family, which is something that the show has pushed from the very first episode. So that’s evolution in itself. Going from “fambily is the most important thing to these characters” to “found fambily is where we find love” is great, but ripping apart a biological fambily like the Moseley-Turners, and indeed starting the episode by saying Missouri has been shunted out of her son and granddaughter’s lives for trying to bring her son comfort, is just fucked. Like, I couldn’t name a single Bobo episode that I actually like without having to comb through them. I’m trying really hard not to shit all over him because as a writer I know how much that sucks and I know how hard is it for any marginalised writers to get a start, but I’m allowed to have my vendettas. 

If you’ve watched the “Runs In The Family” angels MV from 2010, and only if you’ve watched the “Runs In The Family” angels MV from 2010, you will understand just how jacked up the angel family really is. The angelic counterpoint to Sam and Dean are the archangels Lucifer and Michael. We are introduced to two different versions of Michael—one in season 5, who possesses their dad in 1979 and their brother Adam in 2010—my god that was literally over a decade ago—and Apocalypse World Michael, played by four different actors: Felisha Terrell, Christian Keyes, Jensen Ackles, and Ruth Connell, who plays Rowena. I don’t know what in the hell Jensen Ackles was doing performance-wise when playing Michael, but I consider it a federal crime akin to drug trafficking or money laundering. As for Christian Keyes playing Michael, Andrew Dabb, you know what you did and you’re going to have to live with that.  

In season 5, during the apocalypse, Michael and Lucifer only interact in the last episode, “Swan Song,” but the entire season is built around their conflict. Lucifer disobeyed their father, and Michael as God’s most powerful weapon must defeat him. It’s meant to mirror Sam’s descent into, uhhhh, badness or something, disobeying John to run away to Stanford, or, like, drinking demon blood? It’s unclear. Lucifer and Apocalypse World Michael interact in season 13, and Michael kills Lucifer only to take over Dean’s body and start a season-long arc of, like, bad acting and barely thought-out plots. I would say to Jensen Ackles “don’t quit your day job,” but this is literally his day job. 

The angels as they’re introduced in season 4 are warriors of god, and all they know is obedience and killing. Even Cas can’t break out of the cycle of killing his angel siblings, and often justifies it by saying that it’s for the greater good, that he needs to do it to take down a stronger force like Raphael or Metatron. Anna manages to break free of her family by falling and becoming human, but when Cas betrays her and the angels capture her, she is lobotomised, tortured and sent back out to kill Sam. Then she’s burned to a crisp by Michael possessing John, not the last time a woman would burn to death on this show. The angels are dysfunctional at best, and actively hostile to each other, especially Castiel, the infamous spanner in the works. I could write an entire academic paper about how the angels think of Castiel as this rebel slut who murdered his way to the top and is going to be the downfall of angel kind, but Dean thinks of him as this little nerdy guy with a harp he carries around in his back pocket. Which honestly Cas would love because he’s obsessed with Dean and wants to touch his butt. I don’t know what else I can say about the angels without turning this into a dissertation, so I’ll continue on.

While all seasons of the show are about family, season six is especially about matrilineal family. It introduces the concept of the mother of monsters—Eve—and focuses on Mary as a solution to the loneliness the characters feel after her death. Samuel Campbell, Mary’s father, is brought back to life and manipulated by the promise of seeing his daughter again. He asks Sam and Dean what they wouldn’t do to see Mary again, which is kind of the general thesis of the show. What wouldn’t John, Dean and Sam do for each other? Dean sells his soul. John makes a deal with the demon who killed Mary. Sam teams up with Ruby to kill Lilith in revenge, which begins as a suicide mission because he doesn’t know how to handle his grief for Dean. The difference is that Samuel betrays Sam and Dean, his own grandchildren, for the promise of seeing Mary again. This cardinal sin alienates him from being a good guy, because good guys never betray Sam and Dean. Sam and Dean are our protagonists! Our heroes! The bringers of the light! The knights in shining armour! The white on rice. The cherry in cherry pie. They are the ones we’re meant to align ourselves with, because it’s their story the narrative is telling. And anyone who doesn’t align themselves with the Winchesters is an enemy who needs to be defeated.   

We’re introduced to the character of Gwen in the first episode of season 6, “Exile on Main Street”, and she says in the episode “Family Matters” that Samuel, the patriarch, doesn’t like her very much because she reminds him of Mary. While Samuel, Christian, Gwen and co are technically family, Dean has no connection to them past bloodlines. And as I said before, while family doesn’t end in blood, we learn throughout this season that blood doesn’t always mean family. Gwen dies in the episode “And Then There Were None,” because of course she does, and Mary doesn’t come back, at least not in this season. 

In “Family Matters,” the alpha vampire, played by the irreplaceable Rick Worthy, mentions that “we all have our mothers,” referring to Eve, the mother of monsters, the one who spawned every other monster and who has been trapped in purgatory ever since. Eve is pulled from Purgatory to wage war against the hunters and Crowley because they have been preying on her first borns, the alphas. I love Eve. I love her. She’s my favourite villain after Metatron. Mainly because I think she is like… sexy as hell. Like wow I am just so attracted to Julia Maxwell and this, like, bored smokey affect thing she does where she barely moves her mouth when she speaks and her strong brow makes her seem so intimidating. I don’t know anything about her personally, but I feel like she would’ve bullied me in high school, and I’m into it. It’s really hard to judge just from this one role whether she’s a good actor because Eve has such limited range and few things to do, but I really wish she’d gotten more screen time. Yeah, she’s doing the bare minimum and I’m completely obsessed. But Eve isn’t just a monster, she’s literally THEE milf. The original milf. And I really think she should’ve stayed around, but since they kept Lisa alive they had to kill at least one high profile woman. 

Continuing with the family storylines in season 6, Dean tries to establish a family with Lisa and Ben, and for the most part succeeds. He gets a job, plays the role of the doting boyfriend and stepfather, and protects them as best he can. I’m going to spare you the rant perched at the tip of my tongue about how this is at best a lavender marriage or staying together for the kid, and that Lisa only exists to be an ideal for Dean, not an actual partner he can grow with throughout the rest of the show. It’s his first attempt at a fambily outside of Sam, Bobby and John, and it fails miserably because Lisa isn’t a good match. The fact is, she will never be able to fit into the hunting world because of the way the writers wrote her—as mother and girlfriend archetype, and we’ve seen how well they do with those—in fact they actively paralleled it in “Exile on Main Street” where they had Dean hallucinate Azazel coming back and pinning Lisa to the ceiling. It couldn’t be more obvious that they don’t respect her. At least they didn’t fridge her for Dean’s man pain. It’s honestly horrible because Dean put so much effort into believing this was his one chance at happiness, and when it crumbles like a tim tam in hot tea he beats himself up for it and uses it as an excuse to never be happy. 

He does seem to be happy for the most part with Lisa, but because Sera Gamble doesn’t know how to write interesting or complex female characters, when Sam reenters the picture it once again becomes about the original premise: two brothers on the road, fighting the forces of evil. There’s no room for any women in that sphere. Up until this point I think—correct me if I’m wrong—there has been one female hunter who survived, and she was in one episode. The hunter Tamara in season 3 “The Magnificent Seven,” whose husband died in maybe the most sadistic way anyone has died on this show. Don’t rewatch it, just google it. All women die, including Mary, their mother, who is brought back in season 12 and killed in season 14. AND FOR WHAT? For WHAT Andrew Dabb.

Often, the loss of a parent, child or significant other is used to excuse bad behaviour and terrible choices. The hunting life causes Mary’s whole family to die before she can escape it, and because she makes a deal with Azazel for John’s life, the same demon John makes a deal with, Azazel kills her anyway. John abused his kids and brought them into the hunting life, because he was obsessed with getting revenge for Mary’s death. Sam does the same thing when Jess dies in the first season, and it starts a 15-season long arc of pain and misery. He sets Lucifer free in the season four because he is obsessed with getting revenge for Dean’s death and obsessed with the power drinking demon blood gives him. Then again, Sam is actually right for saving people by exorcising demons, which is literally the first part of the family business motto,  instead of just gutting them with the demon knife, but because Dean doesn’t agree with it, it’s bad. Sam always wants to do the right thing, he just gets a little caught up in the details. But you know what? Bloodfreak rights. 

When Cas dies in season 13, Dean is so overcome with grief, a grief that echoes John and Sam’s, that he mistreats Jack and threatens to kill him. In season 14, Nick, Lucifer’s vessel, boo snore hiss, kills everyone involved with the murder of his wife and child before he finds out that it’s actually Lucifer’s doing, and then he tries to raise Lucifer from the empty because he’s addicted to killing? Whatever, stop employing Mark Pellegrino. Stop writing men as obsessed with getting revenge 

The biological fambilies in Supernatural suck shit. Honestly every time I watch an episode about fambily I’m even more glad I don’t talk to mine. Dean and Sam need to spend some time away from each other, while they’re both still alive. Their fambily dynamic gets better as the show progresses, and I was pleased to see in season 12 that they do away with the codependency, constantly sacrificing themselves for each other, isolating themselves, betraying everyone they know for each other—they started to act like, you know, normal people. And that’s good. Sure, the show would not be anywhere without John sacrificing himself for Dean, and Dean sacrificing himself for Sam, and honestly that’s what made those first few seasons amazing. But after a while it becomes lazy writing, not parallels. A parallel that Supernatural pulled off is Sam comforting Magda in season 12 episode “The Survivor” in the way he needed to be comforted in season 1 and 2 as a psychic child. A parallel is Dean preparing Cas’s body for cremation in season 13  in counterpoint to the way Cas remade Dean’s body in season 4. This show can absolutely do parallels, some of the most beautiful parallels ever put on screen, but the last season was such lazy writing that I cannot forgive it. 

This has been an overall negative episode of Holy Hell, and that sucks. I don’t want to be so negative. I want to talk about the good things that Supernatural did, and share in joy with you all, so now I’m going to talk about the only positive I see with fambily in the entire show. 

For Dean, everyone older than him is a parent to disappoint, and everyone younger than him is a little sibling to protect. Cas is the exception, as there’s no way to define Dean and Cas’s relationship without acknowledging the reciprocal romantic ways they care about each other. Dean says on multiple occasions that Cas is like a brother to him, and that he’s Sam and Dean’s best friend. He actually drops the line, “After Sam and Bobby, you are the closest thing I have to family,” on Cas in season 6, and he acts like it’s nothing, but you can see in the expression on Cas’s face that Dean just recontextualised the entirety of Cas’s being in one sentence. Cas falls for Dean, gives up his family for Dean, and decides to follow him in the first act of free will we see on screen. And Dean, who has never known love without pain, says to Cas, you are fambily to me, I actively choose you, you belong in my life. But to belong in Dean’s life is to follow his plan, and when Cas doesn’t, he is punished for his hubris. Dean loves him, and he never even admits it.

Charlie becomes like a little sister to Dean, as does Jo. Jack is unequivocally Cas’s son, but becomes something of Dean’s son as well and some would argue Sam’s son. Claire becomes Cas’s daughter, but imprints so much on Dean that many, myself included, have come to consider Dean her father as well. If you subscribe to the idea that Dean and Cas are old marrieds, Dean would be Claire and Jack’s stepfather, and they would be a nuclear fambily all on their own. In season 14 “Lebanon,” when John says to Dean that he thought Dean would have settled down with a fambily, Dean says, “I have a fambily.” Just thinking about it gives me goosebumps.

Cas chooses to be a part of Claire’s life in season 10 “The Things We Left Behind” because he feels guilty about what happened to her after he possessed Jimmy, but after getting to know Claire he cares for her. The crime that is Claire and Cas not interacting after season 10, my god. That’s his daughter, you ghouls. But Claire and Dean do get more moments together. Dean, Sam and some British guy save Claire from turning into a werewolf, and Claire and the rest of the Wayward Sisters save Sam and Dean from the Bad Place. The Wayward Sisters are a found fambily all on their own, and since I could devote an entire episode to Jody’s little brood, I have chosen not to talk about them much, because this episode is at least half an hour, 34 minutes, and it would take up too much of my time. Claire is one of my favourite characters and I’ll be talking about her in the next ep, so stay tuned for that. 

Even before Jack is born, Cas becomes his protector. He goes from trying to convince Kelly to end her and Jack’s life, to being her pseudo-husband and the surrogate father to her child. To me personally, it’s the best thing this show has ever done. Cas, Kelly and Jack love each other in a way that is so wholly uncomplicated, that is so pure and so good. Once Cas becomes Jack’s protector, there’s never any question of whether they would hurt or betray each other. He is Cas’s son, his baby boy, and he loves Cas so much that he resurrects Cas from the empty. When they meet for the first time in season 13 “Tombstone” after Cas comes back, they fit into each other’s lives so easily. This is the part in writing this where I was absolutely sobbing my dick off. There are so many moments between them that show the kind of love that each of these characters deserved. Sam and Dean deserve to have that love from their father, and so does Cas. And together they build a family unit around caring for Jack that does indeed end the intergenerational trauma that plagues the Winchester fambily.

And that’s why season 16 is so important to me. I can make things better. Dean sorts his shit out, all of his shit: his alcoholism, depression, ADHD, borderline personality disorder, suicidal ideation, sexuality, gender, the fact that Cas is literally the love of his life and he gets to save him from the Empty the way Cas saved him from Hell. They plant flowers in the field where Dean spread Cas’s ashes in season 13, and they get married at Jody’s cabin with all their loved ones left alive. Claire walks Cas down the aisle and Jack is the flower girl, because he’s literally a three year old baby. Sam and Eileen raise a bunch of rugrats and the Wayward fambily continue the hunting legacy and have a Sunday afternoon roast every week. Dean and Cas raise Jack right, they cut up oranges for soccer practice and watch all his school plays. He and his cousins grow up knowing what it’s like not only to be loved, but to be looked after, to have all their needs met. They grow up normal, and the trauma that plagued their family is a thing of the past. It’s good, you know? It’s just fucking good.

[equisetumspn]

Party at Victor’s

”Cas, come on man. It’ll be fun, I promise. Everybody will be there,” Dean pleaded with Castiel. “Listen, I know we said that we would stay at home and watch movies with Sammy and Kevin like we did last year and the year before, but this could be our last chance at celebrating New Year’s with our friends. This time next year everything will be different and maybe people won’t even come home for the holidays. Please?”

Castiel sighed. How could he deny his best friend anything? He never could, and it had only gotten worse in the past year and a half. Ever since he realized that he not only had a crush on his best friend but was in hopelessly love with him.

They had been down by the lake the day that Castiel’s feelings caught up with him. Castiel had been sitting on a blanket, trying to concentrate on his book and listening to Dean and Sam laughing as they had chased each other by the edge of the water. Dean had flopped down on the blanket next to him, water droplets coming off him and landing on the page of Castiel’s book. Castiel had looked up at Dean. The sun had hit him, making his green eyes sparkle in the light and emphasizing his new freckles that had come out in the summer sun. He had said something but Castiel hadn’t heard a word, too distracted by the boy in front of him. It had been like he had never seen Dean before. Dean had needed to repeat himself two times and ask if Castiel had been alright, before Castiel had registered that Dean had been asking about going to go get some ice cream. Castiel had tried to blame being too engrossed in his book and an unexpected plot twist in it, but he hadn’t been sure if Dean had bought it since he had kept looking questioningly all the way to the ice cream stand.

That evening, Castiel had paced back and forth in his room, trying not to panic. Falling in love with his best friend was such a bad idea and it was such a high school cliché that he had felt his cheeks burn red when the realization had hit him all over again. But it wasn’t like he could just as sudden fall out of love with Dean and he didn’t want to risk the friendship, so after he had considered his choices, he had decided to suppress his feelings. It hadn’t been easy, and he had spent the last eighteen months pining and feeling jealous when Dean flirted with someone else or went on a date. He had told himself a million times that he was over it, that it was behind him, but then Dean smiled and Castiel’s breath caught in his throat and his heart flipped in his chest.

“Cas?” Dean was still looking at him with a small smile. Castiel felt the last of his resistance fade away.

“All right let’s go to Victor’s party. But I still want to see that movie.”

“Yes! I’ll ask Sam if they can wait with it until tomorrow. I’ll pick you up at nine, see you then!” Dean bounced out of Castiel’s room. Castiel could hear him scurry down the stairs and then the footsteps stopped and turned back up again. Dean popped his head back into the room “It’s gonna be fun, Cas, I promise!” Dean smiled at him and disappeared again.

Castiel fell down on his bed and buried his head in his pillow. He wished that they could have spent the New Year’s Eve with Dean’s younger brother and his best friend like they had the last few years. Instead of a night filled with popcorn and joking around while watching action movies, he started to mentally prepare himself for a long night filled with loud music, speaking with people he wasn’t particularly fond of, and, worst of all, probably seeing Dean dancing with someone else, maybe kissing them at midnight. Castiel hated the feeling of jealousy. He had no right being possessive of Dean. He told himself yet again that if Dean got together with someone he was going to be happy for him, a true best friend would be happy. He thought of Iago’s line in Othello, the one about the green-eyed monster that feeds on the meat while mocking it and he knew that if he saw Dean kissing someone at midnight, his heart would break and his own green-eyed monster would consume the parts. Castiel sighed again. It was going to be a long night.

 *********

 Dean turned onto Cas’ street a couple of minutes before nine o’clock. He parked across the street from his house and texted him to let Cas know that he was there. Dean drummed his fingers on the steering wheel to the beat of ‘Ramble On’ that blasted through the Impala. He got so into the song that he didn’t see Cas leave his house and jumped high in his seat when Cas knocked on the window on the driver’s side. Dean leaned over and opened the door on the other side, trying to glare at Cas who laughed at his reaction. It almost worked, until he felt his breath hitch when he saw that underneath the trench coat, Cas was wearing the soft button down in the particular shade of blue that brought out his eyes even more than usual. All of a sudden, he felt way too underdressed in his flannel. He scratched at the back of his neck and lowered the volume on Led Zeppelin. 

“Shut up Cas.” He started the car. “So are you ready to party?”

“Um, I guess.”

“Listen buddy, we don’t have many parties left before high school is over, so I’m glad we’re going to this one tonight. But, like, I also know that these aren’t really your thing so if you truly want to leave, you just come tell me. Okay? If it gets too much for you then we leave. Don’t want a repeat of what happened two years ago, okay? Promise you’ll tell me if you need to leave?”

“Dean. I can leave by myself in that case.”

“Nah-uh. That’s not how this friendship works. If you need to leave, we leave together. Capiche?”

Cas gave him a soft smile. “Thank you.”

  When they got to the party, the street was filled with parked cars and the music streamed out of the open door as people entered the house. They walked into the kitchen and found Victor distributing drinks to those who’d just arrived.

“’Course Cas.”

*

“Soda is fine, thank you.” Cas got his drink and left the kitchen, saying something about going to find Aaron to talk about a documentary they both had watched. Dean just shook his head and turned back to Victor.

“Hey Winchester! Good to see you man! Here,” Victor handed Dean a beer. “Novak, you want a beer too? Or a soda? Got plenty of both, and some stronger stuff too.”

“So, Vic, did you have a good time in Aspen? You got back yesterday didn’t you?”

“Yeah, the snow was perfect. It was great actually. It’s nice to spend time with family and do something fun, you know? But there’s like a limit on how much time you can spend with your parents and younger sister before you start to go a little bit crazy. Just glad I convinced them to let me have this paaartyyy!” Victor hollered the last word and the kitchen filled with loud whoops in response.

*

  “So Jo,” Dean said and cocked his head to the side. “Midnight’s getting closer. Any plans on who you’re gonna spend it with?” Dean smiled and wiggled his eyebrows at her.

  Dean had a great time. He was only a little bit drunk, the kind that just made the world seem like a happier place and made everyone funnier. He talked with Jess about her plans on becoming a nurse. He checked in with Cas. He stood next to Stevie and cheered for Charlie against Gabriel in what must have been the world’s most equal game of beer pong. Charlie finally won, but it was really close. He checked in with Cas. He danced with Lisa for a bit and then with Benny and Andrea. It was a good evening.

*

“Seriously Winchester?” Jo leveled him with a flat look. “You and I? Not gonna happen again. We tried that when we were fifteen. It was a total disaster, we even swore to not talk about it again, remember?”

Dean flushed at the memory. It had felt so wrong and things had been really awkward between them for a while after the kissing incident before they had decided to put it behind them. He grimaced. “Yeah, sorry. You’re right.”

“Of course I am. I’m always right. Besides, you and I both know that there’s someone else you want. And have wanted for a really long time.”

 “Wh- I… Uh… Wha- What are you talking about?”

“Don’t even try to front, Dean.”

Dean hung his head and looked down at his feet. “Am I really that transparent?” he asked quietly.

“No, you’re not. I don’t think other people know how you feel, but I’ve known you all our lives and I guess I just know how to read you.” Jo squeezed his arm and what she said made Dean feel little more relieved. Maybe the entire school wasn’t laughing at him and his ridiculously huge crush on his best friend behind his back after all?

“Dean don’t worry. I really think it’ll work out. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go and find Victor before midnight.” Jo winked at him and then she spun on her heel and walked away.

   He peaked into the kitchen but the only people there were those needing to refill their drinks. Dean couldn’t find Cas in the dining room where Charlie was obliterating people at pong again, nor among the dancing students in the living room, nor in the den where Aaron and Chuck played a video game that seemed to require a lot of tactics. Dean cursed Victor and his family’s way too big house, making it impossible to find people while he ran up the stairs to the top floor, taking two steps at a time. At the top he met Benny who come out from one of the upstairs bathrooms.

Dean blinked a couple of times, trying to process the last few minutes. Had he really suggested to Jo that they should kiss again? Jo liked Victor? Jo knew about his feelings for Cas? But most importantly, did she really imply that he might have a chance with Cas? He looked around the room and saw that several of his friends were already starting to pair up, even though it was almost ten minutes left until the clock turned twelve. Scanning the room, he realized that he hadn’t seen Cas in a while and he suddenly felt a rush of urgency to find him. Even if he probably wouldn’t be brave enough to kiss him at midnight, he still wanted to spend the last minutes of this year and the first of the next with Cas.

*

“Benny have you seen Cas lately?”

“I think I saw him walk out into the garden a little while ago.”

“Thanks man!” Dean ran down the stairs again and through the kitchen where Bela smiled dangerously at him and tried to stop him, but he tore past her out the French doors. The doors slammed shut behind him as he stepped out on the patio.

“Cas? Are you here?” Dean squinted out in the garden’s darkness. He walked down the steps onto the lawn. “Cas?” He called again.

“I’m over here Dean.”

Following the sound of his voice, Dean found Cas sitting on a bench by a hedge at the far side of the garden.

“Hiya Cas.”

“Hello Dean.”

“What are you doing out here?” Dean sat down on the bench next to him.

“I just needed some air.”

“Are you not having fun? Are you okay? I told you to come find me if you wanted to leave…”

“No, it’s been fine. I needed a little break, that’s all. It got so loud.” From out here, all that could be heard from the party in the house was the base from the music and the occasional excited yell. “Isn’t it close to midnight now? Shouldn’t you be in there? I bet there are a lot of them who’d want to spend midnight with you Dean.”

As if on cue, the music got quieter.

“Nah. I’d rather be here with you.”

Dean looked at Cas. Loud counting was now coming from the house. Before Dean could second guess himself, he leaned in and pressed his lips to Cas’. He felt Cas tense and Dean wondered if he had done something really, really stupid and ruined everything just because he lacked self-control for a moment, but then Cas melted into him and started to kiss him back. The shouts of ‘Happy New Year’ came from the house. Dean finally tore himself away from Cas’ soft lips and leaned his forehead against Cas’.

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.”

“No, you have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.”

Dean lifted his head and looked at Cas. “Wait. What?”

“Dean, I’ve been in love with you since the summer before junior year.”

He couldn’t help the laughter that burst out of him. “Well then I have you beat, Cas. I’ve been in love with you since we were fourteen.”

“Oh. Really?” Cas looked like he couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

“Mhm. Really, really.” They looked at each other and this time neither of them could hold in their laughter.

“Man, we really are a couple of dumbasses!” Dean said and looked at Cas’ eyes, shining with happiness.

“Maybe. I just wish we hadn’t wasted so much time…”

“Yeah, I get what you’re saying. I vote for us stop wasting time then.” Dean leaned in again.

Cas smiled into the kiss and when they broke apart, he asked “So what do we do now?”

“I say we kiss some more, you know, just to make up for lost time and then tomorrow I’m gonna take you on a date. A real one.”

“The first of many.”

“Yeah obviously.” They both smiled into the next kiss.

[perfackles]

Going to see a Led Zeppelin tribute band (Letz Zep) would be the perfect way to celebrate the end of their latest hunt, so Dean thought. Sure, it wasn’t the original band, but it was as close as he’d ever get. It was amazing they were performing so close to the bunker anyway, only an eight hour drive! How could they possibly miss out on such an opportunity?  

Castiel was the first to accept Dean’s offer to go. He felt tingly at the very idea of hearing this music Dean had introduced him to live. Neither Sam nor Jack wanted to go though. Sam for the fact he disliked the crowds at these things. Jack refusing as he was 14-hours deep into a 24 marathon and didn’t want to leave.

It took until the moment before the first encore for Dean to realize he’d spent the whole evening watching Castiel’s reactions to the music instead of watching the band itself -- he hadn’t even noticed them leave the stage. He heard their genuinely excellent takes on some of his favorite songs though and was delighted with the skill they played Stairway to Heaven, Whole Lotta Love, Rock and Roll, and so many others, but he hadn’t actually been watching them very much. 

"You really like it then?" Dean asked Castiel, not sure why he felt so nervous all of a sudden. “The music? I know it isn’t the real band but--” 

"That was truly fantastic,” Castiel reassured him with a gentle smile. He looked around them with a slight frown. “The band has finished, why is no one leaving?” He had to lean in close to Dean’s ear to be heard over the crowd still roaring around them. 

“Still an encore to go, dude!” 

“The what?” 

“Encore!” 

The band came back out onto the stage and picked up their instruments once more. The crowd was going wild. A few people turned on their phone flashlights and started to wave them through the air. 

“Screw that!” Dean shouted pulling a Bic out of his back pocket. Some things were just worth doing right. 

As the opening notes to Ramble On started playing, Dean waved the lighter through the air. A few more people around them pulled out lighters of their own. 

It was Castiel’s turn to observe the look of glee on Dean’s face. The way his bright, happy eyes reflected the dancing flames. Dean was laughing as he shut his eyes and stood softly swaying, indulging in the moment, letting the music wash over him. 

“Thanks to all of you for coming out to hear us play!” the lead singer rasped into his microphone. “You’ve been a great audience!” 

The band started on Thank You. 

“Here, you gotta give this a try!” Dean was suddenly pressing the plastic lighter into Castiel’s hand. 

Castiel frowned but rolled his thumb over the striker. 

No luck. 

He tried again, and again, and again, and still could not get the thing to light. 

Dean laughed again, spotting Castiel’s frustration. He cupped Castiel’s hand with his own and flicked the lighter at a faster pace than Castiel had been doing. 

“If the sun refused to shine,” flowed the music just as the lighter finally lit. “I would still be loving you.” 

“Thanks,” Castiel shouted. His arm shot up in the air to join in the swaying. He didn’t quite understand the ritual happening, but felt warmed by it nonetheless. 

“Mountains crumble to the sea, there will still be you and me,” the band finished. More applause and whoops came from the sea of humans around them. 

“Oh man, man that was so worth it.” Dean’s grin was infectious and Castiel couldn’t help but share in it. It had been mesmerising. Castiel had felt a connection to everyone there just in their joint enjoyment of the music. He’d felt a part of something bigger than himself. 

“Thank you, Dean, for inviting me. For introducing me to the music in the first place.” 

“Hell yeah! Thanks for not being a stick in the mud like Sammy. He had beer splashed over him at one gig and he’s hated them ever since. Well, plus that last one didn’t turn out so well for us I guess.” 

They got into the car and Dean started the engine. Many people wouldn’t think about making the eight hour drive back home immediately after, but Dean Winchester wasn’t most people. 

“What was the lighter thing at the end about?” 

“Tradition,” Dean grinned. He couldn’t seem to stop beaming. “Easier with a Zippo than those shitty Bics, burned my finger at one point, but still worth it.” 

He pulled out of the parking lot, left hand on the wheel, right arm slumped at his side.  

“Which finger?” Castiel frowned, pulling Dean’s free hand towards him for inspection. When he saw the sore spot on Dean’s thumb, without thinking he lifted it to his lips and kissed the small burn better. 

“Oh,” Dean gulped. “Um, thanks. It would have been OK.” He was very firmly looking ahead of him now, tips of his ears going red. 

“It’s no problem,” Castiel shrugged. “What happened to your Zippo?” he asked out of idle curiosity. Dean was usually never without it. 

Dean’d jaw tightened. “I had to, er, throw it away a while back. Sometimes when you gotta set something on fire, you want to make sure you get it right first time. No multiple fires, no partial burn.” His voice was getting distant now, frown lines appearing between his eyes. Whatever Dean was remembering, it was nothing pleasant, that much Castiel could guess. 

“Shall we listen to our mixtape?” Castiel asked, hoping to distract Dean from whatever misery he was slowly losing himself to. 

“That uh, that would be good.” Dean shot Castiel a quick smile. “That would be real good.” 

pssst this is the fault of/written for @helianthus21 thank you for conversing with me earlier on the topics of burns and gigs and ohh yesss. 

[netlifxandcastielclosed]

Forrest Green Forrest Blues (ch1)

Excuse me while I cry in the corner of this site because I deleted this original post on accident and I hate myself because I am standing in the doorway waving bye bye to all of those lovely notes and reblogs and kind words. Anyways, I am reposting this and I’ll be relinking everything. 

Pairing: Castiel x Dean (High School AU)

Words: 2160

Warnings: Nothing really in this chapter. Just getting some groundwork done and meeting the characters.

Notes: This series is based on a bunch of Frank Ocean songs. I got major destiel feels after listening to him all week. So here we go, some destiel AU for your enjoyment. Pull out the tissue boxes.

Summary: Castiel Novak, Carver High’s nerd of the century, always sits at the top of the bleachers when he best friend drags him to games.  He could care less about what the score is because his entire focus is on the feeling of the cigarette between his lips. His only pull to the field is when Dean Winchester, the popular quarterback graces the field with his presence. This is their last year before graduation and everything is about to change.

Ch. 2 Ch.3

Senior year for Castiel had begun and the hallway walls were plasters with student painted banners advertising the homecoming football game. The blue-eyed kid couldn’t wait for the year to be over. He wanted to get out of the dreadfully small town he grew up in and move to California where his sister now lived. He knew life had so much more to offer than stingy diners and suburban neighborhoods where everyone knew everyone else’s business. The biggest news to hit the town this month was that Mrs. Mills’ cat was saved from the old oak tree. What a joke.

Castiel walked mindlessly down the south wing with his best friend Charlie while she rambled on about her new classes and how she was planning to hack one of the teacher’s lesson plans.

“It will be the biggest laugh of the year if I get Mr. Singer to show the class that video within the first week,” laughed Charlie. She saw that Castiel was staring off into the distance, not paying attention to a word she just said. “Hello? Earth to Cas… It’d be funny, right?” She waved her hand in front of Cas’ face to bring him back to reality.

“Huh? Oh, yeah… sure, “murmured Cas, as he kept walking and nearly running into a stray garbage can.  

“Thanks for your support, best friend,” Charlie said sarcastically while she punched him in the shoulder.

“Sorry, Charlie. I’m just distracted.” Cas sighed and shrugged.

“No kidding… What’s got your brain all fuzzy?” They both stopped when they reached their neighboring lockers.

“Nothing. I just was thinking about California again.”

“Oh right. Your big plans to leave me high and dry after graduation! How could I forget?” Charlie closed her locker after picking out a few books and then leaned on it, waiting for Cas to gather his supplies. “You just can’t wait to leave us all here in the dust, can you,” moped Charlie.

“It’s not like that… plus you could always come with me if you wanted.” Cas finished up and they started walking to their next class.

“You know I can’t do that, Cas… I’ve got my mom to think about.”

“True. Sorry.” There was a brief moment of awkward silence but the five-minute warning bell cuts it off.

“Don’t worry about me, Cas. I’ll be fine here! I’ve got all these lame-os to keep me entertained.” She gestured to the rushing late students sliding through the halls. “ Tell you what… you can make it up to me by coming to the homecoming game tonight with me. I hacked the cheerleader’s uniform order and now their skirts are two inches shorter than they were supposed to be! It’s going to be glorious!”

“Really? A football game… can’t I just make it up to you by doing your English homework?”

Charlie didn’t answer him back. The screechy voice of their math teacher yelled at them through the door to take their seats. There was no use in arguing with Charlie anyhow; she was annoyingly persuasive without effort.

That night, Castiel sat at the very top of the bleachers while the rest of the school stood, cheered and sang along to their team’s fight song.  Sports were never Castiel’s cup of tea. He’d much rather be at home, reading books and listening to music. But the least he could do was pretend to have a good time. He watched Charlie gush over the cheerleaders and giggle at each of them trying to pull their skirts down further.

Cas was the only one who knew Charlie liked girls. In a small town like theirs, that news wouldn’t go over too well with the community. So he understood why she kept quiet but he felt special having been the only one she trusted enough. Cas hadn’t even fully come to terms with his own ever-changing sexuality. He hadn’t even told Charlie about it yet. But he wasn’t even sure what he could label himself as; he just loved… everyone. Not anyone in this town of course, but just people in general. They were all beautiful to him and he wanted to be able to experience it all without boundaries.

Finally, after what seemed like hours, the song was over and the game began. Castiel paid as much attention as he could to the game before some kids playing tag on the playground nearby distracted him.

“Wow! Did you see that play? There’s no way the other team can catch up now!” Charlie whooped and hollered down to the field as the team ran by and waved to their fellow classmates.

Castiel was just about bored out of his mind when something caught his eye. The quarterback was doing a victory dance surrounded by cheerleaders. He put his hands behind his head, made an arrogant duck face with his lips and swayed his hips from side to side.

“Oh great… here we go again. The beloved Dean Winchester, eating up all the attention being thrown at him. He just loves being a ham, doesn’t he?” Castiel rolled his eyes and pulled out a cigarette and lighter from his back pocket. He lit it and took a long drag.

Charlie wasn’t even paying attention to him anymore. For a nerd, she was surprisingly very into sports and she was wrapped up in yelling at the ref for a bad call. So Castiel sat back and babied his death stick while watching the next play. Without knowing why Cas couldn’t peel his eyes away from Dean. He scoffs at each of his arrogant movements but appreciated the way his body gracefully spun and dodged the opposing team. He couldn’t help but smirk to himself when Dean reached the end zone. Cas didn’t understand why he was taking such an interest in this guy… there wasn’t even anything entirely intriguing about him other than his obvious good looks. Castiel shrugged it off and then extinguished the ending butt of his cigarette onto the bleacher seat.

--

“Okay, class… today we will go through chapters two and three. Then I will assign you project partners for the year and we can get started on our first assignment,” explained Ms. Hanscum.

The instructions generated some bothered grumbles and a few eye rolls. Most of the class wanted to pick their own partners, which the teacher knew would just end up in a mess of distracted teens. So, she chose to randomly assign partners and avoid any of those issues. Ms. Hanscum was Castiel’s favorite teacher. She was funny, smart and accepting. All of which are rare characteristics to find in people of this humdrum town.

“Okay… let’s see… Kevin! You’re with, Lena. Hm… Sam? You’re with… Jo! Now Charlie… who should we pair you with… let’s go with Lisa.” Charlie whooped under her breath, happy she got partnered with the beautiful head cheerleader.

“Sebastian? I’m putting you with Richard. Just don’t take advantage of my kindness on this one, okay? No funny business!” The two trouble making boys gave each other knowing smirks and chuckled to themselves. Ms. Hanscum went through the roster one by one, pairing everyone off. Just when Castiel thought he was forgotten, he heard his name.

“Castiel?”

“Yes, Ms. Hanscum,” Cas looked up from his desk patiently waiting to hear who he’d be stuck with for the new few months.

“I’m pairing you with Dean Winchester.”

The charming green-eyed student looked up and caught eyes with blue ones. They exchanged awkward smiles and waves across the room and then waited for the rest of the class to be paired off. Class ended and the room was nearly clear when Mrs. Hanscum called Castiel to her desk before he left.

“Mr. Novak? Do you have a moment? I need to speak with you about something.”

“Sure, Ms. H,” Cas replied. “I’ll catch you later Charlie. Save me a seat in Bio.” The messy haired kid waved to his friend and then dropped his bag into a seat.

“Okay… so Castiel… I asked you to stay back after class to discuss this year's project partners situation.”

“Okay…”

“You’re probably wondering why I paired you with Dean Winchester.” The kind-hearted teacher sat against her desk, facing her student. “I originally planned on pairing you with Charlie because I know how well you two work together. Then I thought about you and about how incredibly smart you are and how it would go to such a waste if it couldn’t help other people.”

The praise made Castiel blush. Sure, Cas was smart but he also was kind of a rebel. Always making it a point to stick away from the social norm. But he made sure that everything he did, no matter how crazy or fun, it would never compromise his intelligence. Ms. Hanscum was still rambling on about how impressive Cas’ test scores were last year and to Cas it just went in one ear and out the other.

“So back to my original point… Dean Winchester.” She paused for a moment waiting for a response.

“What about him,” Cas asked nonchalantly.

“He’s smart. I know it… but he’s got this bad rap. He is under a tremendous amount of pressure to be perfect. He is the star of the football team and popular… he is under the microscope of this entire school and everyone expects beyond greatness from him. But his grades are slipping; he barely passed my class last year. I think he’s dumbing himself down to look cool. Like some cracked up joke that makes his friends laugh. I’d hate to see him fail over something so immature. So I think it is time for him to surround himself with other types of people.”

“Other people,” Cas asked curiously.

“Yes. People like you. People that aren’t afraid to be themselves or to take risks when they seem scary.”

“Okay,” said Castiel, still confused about her main point. “What exactly do you want me to do about this?”

“So I not only want you to be his project partner this year but I also want you to tutor him… and maybe think about spending time with him outside of school. You know… show him what life can be like beyond this town. There is a whole other world out there and I know you know this... I even hear from Charlie you are thinking of going to college in California.” Ms. Hanscum stood back up and started to organize her desk.

“But Dean doesn’t even know I exist. I don’t even know what I would say to the guy beyond giving him a few book suggestions. We come from two completely different worlds…”

“Exactly,” smiled Donna. “That is what I am hoping for… I know you can do this, Castiel. Just be yourself and everything else will fall into place.” She finished packing up her book bag and started to head out the door. “Thanks again for doing this, Castiel. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Castiel sat for a moment trying to figure out how it was possible to have agreed to this without even saying yes during that entire conversation. He shrugged it off, gathered his things and left the classroom. He was half way down the hall when he saw Lisa leaned on the lockers with Dean pressed against her. Of course, they were making out… typical. Head cheerleader dating the captain of the football team. Their school might as well have been the site for a bad teen RomCom movie. Castiel tried to avert his eyes as much as possible and scurried by them unnoticed. He was suddenly stopped short by a captivating voice. It was deep and smooth like a well-aged whiskey. 

“Hey, Cas! Wait up!”

“Huh? Me? Oh… Hello, Dean.”

“So I guess Ms. H talked to you about tutoring me after school, huh,” Dean commented through his side smile. Castiel noticed his perfect teeth and smooth lips. God, that was annoying.

“Yeah, she mentioned it I guess,” lied Castiel. “You knew about that?”

“Mhm… she asked me if I’d be cool with it yesterday.” Castiel was surprised. He didn’t think Dean even knew who he was, let alone have the guy talk about him with their teacher. He even used the shortened version of his name. “So did you agree? I could really use the help with this class.”

Then Cas realized that Ms. H probably only talked to Dean about the tutoring part of the deal, not so much the being friends part. He figured he’d spare the guy the embarrassment and act as if he knew the same.

“Yes. Of course, I’ll help you,” Cas said sternly but with a small smile.

“Great! That’s awesome… thanks, man.” Dean slapped Cas on the shoulder and he practically fell over from the impact. “This is going to be a great year.”

Castiel would later come to realize this was true. He just didn’t know it yet.

[caiotlyn]

Love in a Hopeless Place

Title: Love in a Hopeless Place

Pairing: Domestic AU - Dean Winchester x Reader

Words: 5344 (I’m so sorry)

Warnings: ANGST (but mostly fluff, so don’t worry!), cursing, one tiny mention of sex, prejudice against the reader, really entitled and stuck-up people, a verbal fight, implied drinking (…and a partridge in a pear tree)

A/N: This was written for @supernatural-jackles ‘s birthday challenge. My prompt was the GIF that’s included near the beginning of the fic (this was also my first time adding a saved GIF to any post, so I really hope it works, haha). Happy birthday, darling.

This fic got away from me, so I’m sorry it’s so long lol. Also, I apologize if any of it seems kind of rushed since I’ve had this mostly written for so long, but I couldn’t find a way to write some parts till today. Whoops.

This was sort of inspired by New Man by Ed Sheeran. :)

Any and all mistakes are mine and mine alone since this is sort of unedited. Constructive criticism and feedback is much appreciated!

Feel free to check out the rest of my masterlist!!

~~~

Ever since Dean moved to the little town on the Pacific Coast, he had heard rumors of the Y/L/N family. He was always told to stay away–not that they were dangerous or anything, but they were the wealthiest family in the entire city and apparently had an ego the size of their wealth.

Dean had met the parents once before when they came to get a check up on their car, and they were some of the most entitled people he’d ever encountered. After their visit, he was not excited to meet their daughter.

The years went by, and Dean had avoided conflict well enough. He hadn’t talked the Y/L/Ns again after they paid for Dean’s services, only a few polite waves every now and then, and Dean planned on keeping it that way.

~~~

“Duke! Come back here, boy! C’mon, I’ve got a treat for you!”

Dean looked up from his car and squinted against the sun.

When his eyes adjusted, he saw a girl running after a dog in the middle of the street.

The dog ran in erratic movements across everyone’s lawns, making patterns in the morning dew. The girl stopped on the sidewalk in front of Dean’s house, putting her hands on her knees and trying to catch her breath. Her face was red from exhaustion, her jeans and sneakers had mud on them, and her hair was a mess from running. She looked up and met Dean’s curious gaze. His eyes widened slightly in recognition when he realized who she was.

Y/N Y/L/N.

Dean had only run into her once or twice in the two years he’d lived in town, and not once had he uttered more than a simple “hello.” From what he’d heard, Y/N was just as obnoxious as her parents, possibly worse.

But those were just rumors, right?

Y/N smiled kindly at Dean when she noticed his staring. He snapped out of his daze and returned the largest smile he could muster, albeit not a big one. He assessed her actions carefully, not quite sure what to make of the situation.

“My, uh, my dog got out,” Y/N said, blush appearing on her still-pink face.

“Yeah, I noticed. Guy’s got a lot of energy, huh?” Dean laughed awkwardly.

“You got that right.”

Y/N straightened up and Dean turned back to his car, trying to remember what he was fixing in the first place.

“Your name’s Dean, right?” Y/N asked. Dean raised his head, furrowing his brows. “My friends have been fawning over you since you moved into town.” She chuckled. “With a town like ours, it’s not hard to notice new faces.”

“Right…” Dean replied, uninterested, before returning his attention to his car once more.

Y/N sighed. “You’ve heard the stories, huh?”

Dean froze, and Y/N continued.

“The ones people must’ve told you since you moved in? Said I was ‘Satan’s reincarnate’ or something like that?”

“I’ve… maybe heard a few things here and there.”

“Well, let me just tell you that none of them are true–at least not the ones about me.”

Dean opened his mouth to respond, but the topic was quickly dropped when Y/N’s dog came running to her side, plopping down onto the pavement and thumping his tail against the ground.

“I’ll see you around, Dean,” Y/N said dejectedly. She reattached her dog’s leash and walked in the direction in which she came.

Dean frowned to himself.

Y/N wasn’t at all what he’d expected.

~~~

Dean ran into Y/N again a few days later. He was on his way to his brother’s house when he saw the Y/L/N girl slumped over her car’s open hood on the side of the road.

He pulled over behind her and exited the car.

“You need some help?” he asked her.

“Yeah. My car just broke down for no reason.”

Dean chuckled. “There’s probably a reason, sweetheart. Let me take a look at it.”

Y/N scrunched up her nose and blushed. “I am not your ‘sweetheart,’” she mumbled quietly.

“Sorry, Princess.” Dean rolled his eyes, amused. “Now will you please move so I can look at your car?”

Y/N took a step to the side, and Dean moved to take a look under the hood. Y/N peered over his shoulder as she curiously watched Dean’s every move.

Dean stepped back from the car and motioned for Y/N to come closer.

“See that?” He pointed to a small black hose next to the radiator. “Your water pump blew, and your engine overheated. Not a totally uncommon problem, but I can’t fix it right now because my stuff’s back at the house. I can stay with you until a tow truck comes,” Dean offered.

“No, no, no. You really don’t have to do that. I’ll be fine, I promise. You can just return to your girlfriend or whatever,” Y/N babbled nervously as blush smattered her cheeks.

“Brother, actually. And I’m late already. I’ll just let him know that I’m gonna be a few more minutes.”

Y/N’s blush darkened. “O-okay.” She diverted her attention to the ground, crossing her arms across her chest and shifting her feet nervously.

“The other day you told me to ignore the stories about you, so tell me about yourself, Y/N. What’s the pretty little rich girl actually like?”

She looked up at Dean and shrugged her shoulders. “I’m sure you’ve heard it all.”

“According to you, I haven’t,” Dean stated, smirking.

“I’m, uh, I’m an only child, my parents are Y/M/N and Y/F/N Y/L/N, and I live in that giant house at the end of Maple.”

Dean rolled his eyes in response. “I know that already. Really tell me about yourself, Y/N. Random stuff like what’s your favorite ice cream flavor, your favorite color.” Dean wiggled his eyebrows before continuing, “The craziest place you’ve had sex?”

“Ew, no!” Y/N laughed.

“C’mon, enlighten me.” Dean grinned.

“Fine. My favorite ice cream flavor is mint chocolate chip, and my favorite color is purple.” Dean motioned for her to continue. “Um, I really like photography… and I once fell out of a tree trying to get a picture of the sunset.”

Dean started chuckling when he heard the last response.

“What?” Y/N questioned. “Why are you laughing?”

“You actually fell out of a tree?”

“I was wearing flats, okay?” A smile crept onto her face as she looked back at the ground.

Dean’s smiled kindheartedly at her and slung his arm over her shoulders. “That wasn’t so bad, was it?”

“It was going fine till you started laughing at me,” Y/N grumbled.

“I’m sorry for that, okay? But you gotta admit it was kind of funny.”

“Yeah, alright. Can that tow truck hurry it up already?”

“Getting tired of me, Princess?” Dean joked.

Y/N moved his arm off her shoulders. “A little bit, yes,” she retorted, but the small smile on her face betrayed her.

“Where are you heading at this time, anyway?” Dean inquired.

“There’s, uh, there’s this field down by the creek that I like to go to when I need to get away. I just park my car on the dirt road that runs through it and spend a few hours taking pictures…” Her voice trailed off, and she tucked a loose piece of hair behind her ear. “I’m sorry, I’m rambling. You probably don’t care.”

“No, if anything, it’s the opposite,” Dean assured her. “I like hearing you talk; it helps me paint a clear picture of you without all those rumors having to fill in the blanks.”

Y/N gave a slight nod.

“I don’t think the tow truck’s coming anytime soon, and like you said earlier, your brother already knows you’re gonna be late. Maybe we could take your car to the field instead?” Y/N suggested, blushing furiously.

“What am I supposed to do in an empty field? I’m not exactly great with cameras.”

“A few minutes after sunset, there’re usually fireflies that come out. And the stars out there are gorgeous.” Y/N paused. “I-I mean, you don’t have to come if you don’t want to. I’m not gonna force you to drive me to the middle of nowhere just to keep me company.”

“Sure, why not?”

Y/N jerked her head in Dean’s direction, her eyes widening. “Wait, really?”

“Yeah, I think it’ll be fun.”

“O-okay.”

“Now you can properly introduced to Baby,” Dean stated proudly.

“Baby?”

Dean patted his car’s hood before opening the passenger-side door for Y/N. “My car,” he answered simply.

Y/N nodded in understanding and nervously clasped her hands together in her lap. Dean seemed to notice her small gesture and knit his eyebrows together in concern.

“You alright with this?” he asked.

“Y-yeah. I’m fine, I swear. It’s just been a while since I’ve hung out with someone who wasn’t driving a Cadillac.”

Dean chuckled lightly at her joke, earning a small smile from the nervous girl.

Y/N bounced her leg up and down as the two drove in a comfortable silence.

~~~

Just like Y/N instructed, Dean parked the Impala on the dirt road that ran between the creek and the vast, open field.

Y/N hung her camera strap around her neck and exited the car, bouncing on her feet in excitement.

Dean looked at her, his heart fluttering ever so slightly when he noticed the childish grin on her face.

Y/N motioned for Dean to follow her as she made her way towards the small creek. The ground sloped as it got closer to the water, and trees lined the opposite side of the creek bed.

While Dean took in his surroundings, Y/N hopped across a makeshift stone pathway that spanned across the creek. Her shoes became speckled with water and mud, but she didn’t seem to mind one bit.

She readjusted her camera and climbed up a large oak tree with wide branches. She perched herself atop a thick branch and started snapping photos of the sunset in the distance.

A smile broke out on Dean’s face as he admired her. “Try not to fall out of that tree, Y/N!” he teased her.

“Shut up!” she replied, laughing.

She shifted her position in the tree and faced Dean. She waved to him and began taking pictures of him as well.

Dean shook his head in amusement.

This was nothing like the snobby rich girl he was told to avoid.

“You look cute, Winchester,” Y/N called out to him.

“You don’t look too bad yourself, Princess.”

Dean crossed the stone pathway across the creek and joined Y/N in the tree.

Y/N giggled as she watched Dean nearly fall off a branch on the way up, which earned her a playful scowl, and the two snuggled closely together on the large branched.

She sighed happily and leaned her head against Dean’s shoulder, her camera resting in her lap. Dean wrapped his arm around her shoulders and laid his head against hers. The two of them stayed there, sat in the large oak tree, until the sun made its descent below the horizon.

Just like Y/N had said, fireflies filled the night sky, flitting around in the cool air.

They sat together in a comfortable silence as they watched the nightlife.

“Why do you let people make up all those stories about you if none of them are true?” Dean asked, breaking the silence.

Y/N sighed. “I don’t know. I guess I’ve lived here long enough to realize that no one’s really going to think of me as anything but the prissy rich girl whose parents practically run the town.”

Although Y/N seemed genuinely upset by the sentiment, in the few hours Dean had spent with her, he could tell that that wasn’t the real issue.

“That may be true,” Dean began, “but what’s really bothering you?”

A beat of silence passed as Y/N composed her thoughts.

“I had this boyfriend a few years back,” she said after a few moments, “and he seemed really genuine and sweet and funny. We met in our senior year of college and started dating. After we both graduated, I took him home and introduced him to my friends and family, showed him around town, and we both finally started to get comfortable together, y’know?”

She paused and worried at her bottom lip.

“Long story short, he found out I came from money, and suddenly that was all he could see me as: some privileged rich girl who only got into college because her daddy paid for it. I guess that’s when the rumors started. I broke up with him, he was mad that I ended things, and he retaliated by making my life a living hell. Ever since, my neighbors suddenly forgot all that had happened before I left for college and all they could see was the image that he’d painted in their minds.”

Y/N wiped at her eyes, trying desperately to conceal the tears. Dean’s heart broke for her in that moment, and immediately he felt guilty for having any prejudice towards her in the first place.

He gently turned her head towards his and gave her a heartwarming smile.

“I’m sorry for everything that’s happened to you,” he said.

“You have nothing to be sorry for.” Y/N sent Dean a sad smile and sniffled.

“I do because I thought the same thing when you came by a few days ago.”

Y/N shrugged. “You didn’t know any better.”

“But I shouldn’t have been so quick to judge,” Dean countered.

The two stayed quiet for a few seconds before they began slowly leaning towards each other. Tension hung in the air, and Dean’s hand moved to cup Y/N’s cheek before he stopped himself.

“We should, uh, probably get going,” Dean said, blinking a few times to clear his mind before moving to climb down.

“Y-yeah. It’s getting kinda late,” Y/N agreed. “And you should probably let your brother know you’re on your way.”

Dean nodded as he held out his hand, helping Y/N down.

He dropped Y/N off at her house and called into the garage to check on her car. Once he arrived home, he sent off a quick text to Sam and promptly went to bed.

Y/N was the last thing on his mind before sleep overtook him.

~~~

Dean woke up the next morning to pounding on his front door. He trudged downstairs and opened the door, where he was greeted with his brother’s both worried and angry face.

“Dude, where were you last night?”

“Well, good morning to you, too,” Dean grumbled.

“You weren’t answering your phone. Jess and I were starting to–” Sam paused when he took in his brother’s appearance and laughed. “You look like crap.”

“Gee, thanks, Sammy. Why don’t you give me some hair advice while you’re at it?”

Sam simply laughed again at his brother’s retort. “Seriously, what did you do last night?”

“It’s none of your damn business.”

“Did you ditch dinner with me and Jess just to go to some bar and hit on women?”

“I texted you last night. What does it matter anyway?” Dean questioned while pouring himself a cup of cold coffee left over from the day before.

“Dean, a four word text isn’t very descriptive.”

“What did you want, a love ballad?” Dean quipped.

Sam chuckled. “Okay, fine. I’m sorry. But seriously, man, where were you? You don’t usually bail on dinner.”

“I was out, alright?” Dean exasperated. “There’s not really much else to tell.”

Sam gave his brother a knowing look. “Who was she?”

“What?” Dean raised an eyebrow.

“Who was she?” Sam urged.

Dean’s eyes shifted to his coffee mug. “Y/N,” he answered.

“No way. Y/N Y/L/N?” Sam’s eyes practically bugged out of his head.

Dean pressed his lips together and nodded, suddenly too closed off to say anything else.

“I’m not judging or anything, but seriously? Of all people, Dean. C’mon, you know better than to hook up with her.”

“I wasn’t ‘hooking up’ with her,” Dean replied, now on the defense. “Her car broke down on the side of the road, and I helped her out. We just hung out for a bit before I dropped her off and called it a night. Nothing happened.”

“Look, Dean, you’re my brother, and I trust you, so I’m just gonna have to take your word for it.”

“Thank you! Are we done now?”

Sam cracked a smile. “Yeah, we’re done. Listen, I gotta get to class, so we can figure out some way we can make up for dinner.”

“Deal. Now go! Be all cute with your girlfriend or whatever you kids do these days.”

“You’re 26, Dean,” Sam answered, rolling his eyes.

“Yeah, whatever, just go.”

After Sam left, Dean got up to put his now empty mug in the sink. Another knock sounded at the door and he groaned.

“What, did you forget your lipstick, Sammy?” he called out as he walked over to the front of his house. He opened the door to Y/N’s confused face.

“Who’s Sammy?” she questioned adorably.

“My brother.” Dean’s eyebrows drew together. “What are you doing here?”

“I, uh, wow. I probably should’ve thought this through.” Y/N laughed nervously and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear.

“Couldn’t get enough of me, huh?” Dean smirked.

“I don’t really do this, but I was thinking about last night, and I was wondering if you would… like to… go to… dinner,” Y/N said, although it came out as more of a question. “With me,” she quickly added. “Would you like to go to dinner with me?”

“What do I get in return?”

“Okay, I know you think this arrogant facade works, but I deal with it enough at the country club. Can you please just answer my question before I chicken out?”

“I’d love to have dinner with you, Y/N.” Dean smiled sincerely, and Y/N visibly sighed in relief. “Y’know you’re cute when you ramble.”

Y/N blushed. “Shut up.”

“I’ll pick you up at seven,” Dean said.

“See you then.”

As soon as Dean shut the door, a grin broke out on his face.

Y/N did a happy dance on the other side.

~~~

Dean drove up to Y/N’s house at seven o'clock sharp. He’s lucky he didn’t need to ask for directions to her house, since he forgot to ask earlier, because it was extremely hard to miss the big, white house at the end of the cul de sac.

Y/N’s house was one of the few mansions in the city, and it was comparable to a castle. Tall, white pillars framed the house, and large double doors and a sparkling fountain greeted the guests when they approached.

Dean rolled his eyes at the obnoxiously long doorbell, but his eyes lit up when Y/N appeared.

“Hey,” she greeted.

“Hey, Princess.”

“Just gimme a sec. I gotta grab my purse, and then we’re good to go,” she said, Dean nodding in reply.

A few moments later, Y/N emerged from the house once again, her skirt fluttering in the light Californian breeze. She quickly locked the door and skipped down the steps to meet Dean at the Impala.

“Where to?” Dean asked as Y/N got into the car.

She smiled when the soft sound of rock music reached her ears. “Well, we can blow my parents’ wallets and go to Tony’s,” she suggested jokingly. “…or we can go to the diner by the bookstore. Your choice.”

“I like the way you think,” Dean replied, putting the car into drive.

Y/N giggled. “Hey, a girl’s gotta have a burger and a milkshake every once in awhile,” she beamed.

~~~

Six months later…

Y/N unlocked her front door, and once they made it past the threshold, Dean crashed his lips into hers.

Y/N broke from the kiss almost as soon as it started, her eyes still closed.

“What’s wrong, Y/N/N?” Dean questioned worriedly.

“Dean,” Y/N began. “I can’t do this anymore.”

Dean furrowed his brows. “Do what anymore?”

“I can’t be your girlfriend anymore.”

Dean stepped back, not sure if he was hearing things correctly.

“Y/N, what’s going on? What’s on your mind?” He rubbed his hand up and down her arm to comfort her.

She drew a shaky breath before responding. “People are talking, Dean. They’re saying that you’re only dating me for my money. And I-I know that’s not true, but there’s this little voice in my head that keeps telling me that that’s the reason why we’re together.”

“Y/N…”

“And then there’s the whole other side of people saying that I’m a whore and a slut for dating someone like you.” Dean was taken aback by this comment. He could understand the insults towards himself, but to Y/N? What had she done?

“C’mon, baby, you know none of that’s true,” Dean tried to comfort, but she didn’t seem to hear him.

“And my parents! Oh my god, my parents are the worst of it, saying that I’ve been reduced to nothing now that we’re together and that I’m a disgrace to the family…”

“Since when did you give a damn what your parents think?” Dean questioned.

“Since they threatened to kick me out!” Y/N suddenly screamed.

Dean was startled by the sudden outburst, and he tried his best to work through the situation. “Wait, wait, wait. Slow down, Y/N/N. You’re not making any sense. What do you mean?”

“What part of ‘kick me out’ do you not understand, Dean? They’re gonna cut me off, make me live on my own, never speak to me again. You know, remove me from their lives.”

“Wait, so this is suddenly about your money? What, are you afraid that you’ll have to live like, oh I don’t know, someone like me?” Dean tried to remain calm, but eventually his frustration took over.

“Dean, you know what I mean.”

“No, I really don’t. Since when did being loaded ever mean a damn thing to you?”

“It doesn’t mean anything to me!”

“Oh, really? Because right now, it sure fucking looks like it. You know what, Y/N? I think I finally figured out what it is. You’re scared to lose all of your money and ruin your reputation, so you’re letting your parents worm their way into your brain and convince you that they’re right. And now that I think about it, maybe they are right because you’re just a stuck-up rich girl who’s too scared to let anyone in.” The words came out of Dean’s mouth before he could even process them.

With tears streaming down her face, Y/N pointed one finger at the door. “Get out,” she demanded, not breaking eye contact with Dean for a single moment.

His jaw nearly hit the floor. If it weren’t for the rivers flowing from her eyes, Dean wouldn’t have suspected that his words hurt her. “Y/N, I didn’t mean that. It just came out. I–”

“I said. Get. Out.” Her expression remained stony, and she squared her shoulders.

Without another word, Dean let out a defeated sigh and walked out of the house, the heavy door slamming behind him.

Unbeknownst to Dean, Y/N slumped her back against the door once it was shut and sobbed.

Just as things were finally going right in her world, she had to go and ruin it.

~~~

Dean stayed at Sam and Jess’s place for a while to let things cool down between him and Y/N.

He returned to town a few days later. Driving back to his house, he had planned on going to Y/N’s later to apologize to her. Hell, he would beg for her forgiveness if he had to.

But something along the way made his heart drop to his stomach.

Y/N sat at the edge of the community pool, a guy’s arm slung across her shoulders and numerous other people surrounding them. They were all in fancy swimsuits and designer sunglasses, laughing at something someone had said. Y/N turned her head to the man sitting beside her and kissed his lips.

Dean immediately parked his car and slammed the door as hard as he could. He marched over to Y/N and her newfound friends, anger, betrayal, and hurt bubbling inside him.

Y/N and all of her friends stopped laughing and stared at Dean when he approached them.

“What the hell is this?” Dean roared, not caring if he was causing a scene. All he could think about was how his girlfriend was kissing some guy like Dean didn’t even exist.

“What are you talking about, Dean?” Y/N questioned innocently.

“What do you mean? You and this douchebag. What are you doing?”

“Oh, Tom? He’s my boyfriend now. I’m sorry Dean, but we’re through,” she responded casually.

“Yeah, Winchester. She’s mine now, so you can just back off. You know, return to that little Hobbit hole you live in,” Tom taunted, waving his hand at Dean in a shooing motion. Everyone laughed, including Y/N, and if Dean thought his heart couldn’t break any more than it already had, he was mistaken. Without a single word, he turned and walked away from the pool.

“Bye, Dean!” Y/N shouted after him.

To say Dean didn’t drink himself to sleep that night would be a complete lie.

~~~

Weeks passed, and Dean was still avoiding Y/N. She on the other hand, seemed to be looking for every opportunity to rub her new relationship in his face. Even when Dean simply passed her and Tom on the street, her boyfriend would call out to him and kiss her right on the lips, all for no reason whatsoever.

Each time Dean’s heart cracked a little more.

What had happened to the shy girl he’d once dated, he didn’t know.

Dean was lying beneath his Impala when he heard Y/N’s familiar voice. He slid out from underneath and sat up, looking in her direction.

Her hair was thrown up into a high ponytail and her black skater dress swung with each step she took. Her white sneakers were impossibly clean and a designer bag hung from her shoulder. She talked into her phone as she walked across the street from Dean’s house, Duke trotting happily beside her and her cell phone held to her ear.

Just like the first day they met, Dean watched her with interest. The only differences were Y/N’s appearance, her attitude, and the aching in Dean’s chest.

She took her usual route around the block, making her entire way around the cul de sac and past Dean’s house. She smiled and waved at him as she walked by, as if nothing had happened between them.

At that moment, Dean’s body seemed to have a mind of its own. Before he knew it, his feet had carried him to Y/N’s side. She eyed him warily and responded to the person on the other side of the phone call.

“Listen, Tom, I’m gonna have to call you back,” she said, pressing end and slipping her phone into her shoulder bag. “Hi, Dean.”

“Y/N, we need to talk,” Dean said simply.

“What do you mean?” She tilted her head adorably, something that made Dean’s heart flutter when they were together, but now it just added to that incessant aching in his chest.

“You know what I’m talking about,” Dean stated. “You dumped me right after I caught you kissing another guy, and you’re acting like everything is fine after all that’s happened.”

“Because everything is fine, Dean. Now, can you please leave me alone?” Y/N turned to walk away, but Dean grabbed onto her arm.

“Y/N, tell me what’s wrong.”

“There’s. Nothing. Wrong. Let me go.” Her eyes met Dean’s, and he noticed the tears beginning to pool behind those long, perfect lashes. His expression softened and he released her from his grasp.

“What happened between us? I made one mistake, and you threw everything we had away like it was nothing. I come back to town, and you’re wrapped around another guy’s finger acting like that girl you told me you would never become.”

“Isn’t this what you think of me, though? Isn’t this what THE WHOLE FUCKING TOWN THINKS OF ME?!” Y/N screamed into the empty street, tears suddenly pouring out of her eyes.

“You know I never thought of you like that, at least not after I met you.” Dean took a step toward her, reaching out like he was approaching a wounded animal. She jerked back from him and turned her body away as if to shield herself.

“Don’t you dare touch me, Winchester,” she whispered.

“Y/N, I’m sorry, okay? I’m so fucking sorry,” Dean apologized.

Y/N let out a mirthless laugh, her lip quivering. “Isn’t that what they all say? That they’re sorry?”

Dean opened his mouth to respond, but without warning, Y/N collapsed onto the pavement and sobbed.

Dean crouched down beside her, and wrapped his arms around her shaking body. Y/N buried her face in his chest, her tears staining his shirt. Dean held her against himself, and his heart broke all over again. How someone who acted so strong could fall apart so easily was something he’d been asking himself for ages.

The two of them stayed there, huddled in the middle of the sidewalk, for who knows how long. When they broke apart, Y/N’s face was red and her eyes were puffy. Her hair was a bit disheveled and her makeup was a mess.

But in that moment, all Dean saw was the woman he fell in love with all those months ago.

They stared at each other like they were looking at the other’s face for the first time. Before they knew it, their lips met and their hands were tangled in each other’s hair.

If kisses held the magic they were given in fairy tales, then Dean’s broken heart was mended right on the spot. Dean tasted the saltiness of Y/N’s tears on her lips, but he didn’t care; she was kissing him for the first time in weeks, and that was all that mattered.

Y/N was the first to pull away. She kept her eyes closed and rested her forehead against Dean’s.

“I’m so, so sorry, Dean,” she whispered.

“You have nothing to be sorry for, Princess. If anything, I should be the one apologizing.”

Y/N opened her eyes and gazed into Dean’s. A single tear slipped out of her eyes as she spoke quietly. “But if I hadn’t acted like that, none of this would have happened. I shouldn’t have listened to my parents. I should have listened to you, Dean.” She paused before reiterating, “I should have listened to you.” She collapsed into Dean’s chest again, soft sobs shaking her body.

“It’s okay, Y/N. None of that should have happened to you. Parents are supposed to take care of their children, not manipulate them.” Dean lifted her head to face his. “Don’t carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. I’ve done that plenty of times before, and let me tell you, it ain’t fun.”

Y/N let out a small chuckle and sniffled. “I love you.”

Dean’s heart stopped, but he responded without missing a single beat. “I love you, too.”

Smiles broke out on both of their faces as their lips collided once more, this kiss more passionate than the last. They broke when the need for air became too much, the grins never once leaving their faces.

“I love you, Y/N, and don’t you ever forget it.”

“Never in a million years.”