#whoops another long post without a cut

[styrofauxm]

On aroace flags...

I want to be very clear, I am not criticizing anyone specific, but rather the current ways of combining the asexual and aromantic flags into a cohesive flag.

But I've had this floating around my head for a while, and I saw a post similar to it today, so I thought I'd throw in my two cents.

Cut because it got long.

In the ace flag, black means asexuality, gray means gray/demi sexual, white is for allosexual allies of asexual people, and purple means community. (I lost the link to the AVEN post, but someone dedicated can find it. Otherwise you can just look up the meanings on the internet to verify).

In the aro flag, the green and light green stripes are for the aromantic spectrum, white is for non-romantic attraction, and black and grey are for the sexuality spectrum. (Post by the creator saying this here: https://www.tumblr.com/cameronwhimsy/102698477928/whoops-yeah-i-just-realised-i-never-actually-made?source=share).

So black, grey, and white all mean different things for each flag, yet in most combination flags, they only appear once. Do they mean what they mean on the aromantic flag or what they mean on the asexual flag?

The light green and green don't have any arbitrary separations for people who do and don't feel romantic attraction, and the grey and black of the aro flag don't have that for sexual attraction either, while the asexual flag does. Cutting out one of the green stripes or moving the black and grey away from each other don't make sense in the context of the aromantic flag.

I've also seen some that add an extra purple stripe. It doesn't mean anything, it's just aesthetic.

Whether or not you like the sunset aroace flag, it is a good example to look at when trying to create a flag to represent aroace people. It keeps the association with asexuality and aromanticism, without using the original colors in ways that don't quite fit. (Color meaning breakdown by the creator here: https://aroaesflags.tumblr.com/post/181034758671/revised-aroace-flag-after-some-conversation-among).

The whole point of having pride flags is to have a meaningful symbol to represent our communities. For aroace people, mashing two together keeps the association with asexuality and aromanticism, but loses the deeper meaning behind each flag.

Honestly, as an aroace person, I think the only way to really design an aroace flag is to depart from the imagery of either flag. That ensures the meanings are solid, and it ensures no one in accidentally excluded (which is, to my understanding, why the sunset flag was created originally - to have a community symbol that included the whole community inherently). But I understand not everyone shares the sentiment.

So, from one aroace person to another, if you are going to design an aroace flag that's based on the ace and aro flags, please keep in mind what those colors mean in the context of each flag, and don't put them in just to have them. And be sure that your design properly includes everyone you are trying to represent.

[acerathia]

pink camellias || Chapter 6: morning glory

Chapter Summary:

morning glory: affection

Wordcount: 2.7k

Read on AO3 || Masterlist

Pairing:

Bakugou Katsuki / Reader

Tags/CW:

royalty au, inspired by Mulan, war and its consequences, violence, childhood friends to strangers to companions to lovers (i am sorry), Angst, Acts of Service, Character Death (Major, and Minor), swordfights, misogyny, f!reader, kidnapping, implied torture, let me know if I missed anything lol

Note:

anyway, i posted this days ago on ao3, but im too lazy for tumbs whoops, enjoy

You had lost count of how many battles you fought through, no, rather you refused to count in the first place, the guilt of their existence more than enough for you. Still, you didn’t close your eyes to the situation, you kept your eyes wide open, making yourself remember what was happening in front of you, by your own very hands.

That meant that you fully realized what you were doing, yet never dared to stop the blade from cutting your way free. But your steady hand in battle did not mean your body didn’t lurch and shake afterwards, rather you only learned to push it farther away, to hide it into the corners of your body and to let it only fuel you afterwards.

Despite your ability to cope, you needed some time after each battle, just to sit in silence, to let yourself calm down, lest you swing a fist at someone approaching you. And at first, you sat alone, only your sword in one hand and a wheatstone in the other. Until the Captain started joining you, and you couldn’t outright walk away, as there was no other calm place beside this one. At least he had stayed quiet, not even greeting you when arriving there. So, in the end you allowed him to be there, allowed yourself to come down in his presence, only hearing the sharpening of two blades in the same space.

In a way, this meeting turned into checking each other, nodding to each other as a sign, ‘yes, i survived once again, and you did too’.

So, of course your goal in every single fight was to just sit there, just to survive another day. Even if it meant gritting your teeth and elbowing someone. A splatter against your cheek, and you ensure your life for another couple of minutes.

For a moment, you just stood over the person you had just fought, breathing heavily before you could resume the senseless battle. But before you fully regulated your breath sufficiently, you noticed a shadow looming behind you, and you barely managed to dodge the oncoming strike. Their blades missed your vitals, but it dug itself into the flesh of your thigh.

A hiss escaped you when they ripped their sword out of you, and you began to retaliate before they got ready for another attack. It didn’t take long for you to dispose of them, but longer than you had anticipated. By the time you were done with them, your own blood had soaked through your pants. You cursed and shifted your weight, as more blood seemed to pour out of you the more you used that leg.

Without another choice, you slowly retreated. But you were aware that you might not make it back to the camp in time, much less all by yourself. So, you did leave the battlefield, but rather found some covering behind a tree on the edge of the field.

Slumping against the trunk, you sat on the ground, taking all your weight off your wounded leg. With trembling fingers you grabbed the dagger, the one to only use if your sword and ax were nowhere to be found, but you doubted you could use them in the moment, at least not without making anything worse than it already is. You squinted, trying to focus through your current dizzy spell while slowly cutting through the fabric around the wound. But despite getting rid of that barrier, you were barely able to see the cut properly, blood pooling, making everything homogenous. So, you grabbed the hem of your shirt and cut some stripes loose. Ripping it in half again to make it longer, and you began to wrap it around your thigh, trying to stem the blood flow while also bandaging the open wound.

After putting a knot over the cut, you leaned your head against the trunk behind you, ruminating about the next steps. You didn’t know how long the battle would last, and you doubted anyone would find you in your little hiding spot. And you had to be honest to yourself, you had no idea how much longer you could remain here, as despite your clumsy wound-dressing you still were slowly bleeding out. The makeshift bandage already felt somewhat wet, and you thought to see a tinge of red peaking through already.

A sigh escaped you moments before you noticed a shadow looming over you, and for a moment you thought it might be the enemy as you grabbed your dagger, which you had carelessly thrown onto the ground. Pointing the blade to whoever was standing in front of you, only to lower it slightly. The person crouched to be at your height, and for a second all you could see was the sunlight filtering through strands of gold.

“Hey, what the fuck are ya doing?” he asked you with a scowl, yet his eyes kept flitting over your facial features, as if the answer was going to hide underneath the grime on your skin.

“How the fuck does it look like? I’m having a nice picnic, Captain,” you answered with mocking intonation, especially his rank.

His blazing gaze finally left your face to scrutinize the rest of you. And if you weren’t more concerned about the whole dying ordeal, you would have felt a tiny bit of shame at your sorry state, but you were too dizzy to care. Still, you could pinpoint the exact moment he noticed the blood staining through your pitiful bandage, because you didn’t know that the furrow between his eyebrows could go that deep.

Before once again, his eyes returned to watch over your face, trying to read you and your expressions. And without any more words, he stood up and reached a hand in your direction, waiting for you to take it to help you stand up. You did. You took his hand with no hesitation, because it was so easy to trust him, for some reason. Also, you didn’t want to keep bleeding out behind the trunk of a tree.

Once you were on your feet, he carefully slung an arm around your waist to support your weight, as you barely could use your leg at this point. This way, you both gripping, clinging to each other, you once again walked by his side, him leading the way, all while adjusting to your walking speed.

Your fist was hooked on his cape, only tatters left of the once majestic fabric. Still, you noticed the way his clothes were a painting of orange and the numerous splatters of red. And you couldn’t help but feel some sort of guilt, a guilt about letting him carry you to safety, once again, a guilt about not asking him about his well-being. But now it was too late to ask, wasn’t it? So, you stayed silent, following his footsteps with a twinge of pain running down your leg, imitating the warm drops of blood slowly running down, taking the same path.

Before you knew it, you both stopped in front of a wooden door, and you barely had the time to formulate a question in your head, as he immediately just opens it and enters the small cottage, dragging you like dead weight inside.

The door closed behind you with a decisive kick by him as you conveniently fell onto a chair, and you suspect that he tipped your balance on purpose. It was easy for him, considering the difference in strength and, of course, the wounded leg of yours.

For a moment, you just stared at him with a dumbfounded expression as he lit some candles and immediately began to rummage through one cabinet, obviously looking for something, but failing to do so, as indicated by his low curses.

But before you could get back onto your feet, he turned your way, some proper bandages in hand. And of course, you stretched your palm out to take them and use them. He was faster than you though, and he got the bandages immediately out of your way.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing? Your hands are bloodied, you’re only going to fucking sully this stupid wrapping,” he sniffed with a roll of his eyes.

“Fine, fine! What do you want me to fucking do? Wash my hands? I also want that, but after, you know, avoiding bleeding the fuck out,” you raised your hands in surrender.

He scowled at your words before simply kneeling beside the chair. His free hand grabbed the ankle of your hurt leg, and put it into a position in which your muscles weren’t tense. After glaring at you, silently telling you to not move, he reached for the dagger in his belt. The mere sight of a blade made you scrunch your face, as you immediately expected some sort of pain, as weapons did.

But you didn’t feel any pain, none at all. That was because he was simply cutting the fabric of your pants away, making the hole you already made bigger and getting rid of the pieces stuck onto your skin. At least none were glued to your open wound, and you were glad that you had some foresight for once.

After your wound was freed, he pulled some sort of clean towel out of nowhere, and he started tapping it on the skin around your wound, the cloth slightly damp. And the moment he pressed it against your cut, you hissed involuntarily, realizing that he had put some alcohol on the fabric.

The sting brought some tears into your eyes, and you glared at him. But he only raised one eyebrow. “What, some silly burn is making you cry? If that’s all it took, then I should’ve tried that earlier,” he scoffed a little snicker, yet you didn’t feel the heat of his insult, as there was none.

You were aware that he was only trying to distract you with the usual fighting of yours. It didn’t work quite as well as he probably hoped, because for some reason you felt something else entirely stir inside you, something else but the usual anger and annoyance you usually felt at his sight.

Soon, the towel was put away, and he began to wrap the bandage around your thigh. And you were watching him slowly and carefully put layers upon layers onto your skin. You couldn’t help but notice the way the flickering flame made his cheekbones more pronounced, the way his eyelashes glittered like mist under his focused eyes, the way his hair glowed like molten honey. So, you kept staring at him, wondering who he was, who he truly was as a person, rather than his status in this army. Wondering why looking at him, why his presence gave you such a calm mind, made your chest stir.

And then he looked up, his eyes met your gaze. Those ruby eyes, those eyes filled with fire, with sunset. Blooming up at you like a red bouquet of azaleas, of anemones. Once again, you felt your chest stir, but this time your heart was joining, beating a message only you could understand. And you finally did.

Oh…

Oh.

Upon this dawning realization, you simply avoided his gaze, suddenly thankful for the sparse light, as you seemingly could not control your facial expression for a moment. You gulped a couple of times, trying to calm the flutter inside your veins, lest he noticed them.

Still, you glanced back to take a look at him, only to see him back on his feet and tinkering with something you could not discern from your spot. You ought to stand up and see what he was up to, but before you could even coordinate any movement, he was already shooting you a glare over his shoulder, one you only raised your hands in surrender once again before simply leaning back into the chair.

Luckily, you didn’t have to wait for a prolonged amount of time before he turned around, holding a bowl with some water in it and a towel, this time simply handing you both with no instructions. You didn’t need any, of course, so you let the towel sop up some water and began to slowly clean your palms and the rest of your sticky hands until you started washing your face in a circular motion, putting in the effort of truly reaching into every possible crease and corner of your own skin.

After being done, the water all murky after cleaning the cloth in it, you didn’t necessarily feel cleaner, but rather less sticky. Setting the bowl aside, you leaned into the chair, again, and wondered what you were supposed to do in this situation, because you had to admit that you had no idea where this little cottage was located and how far it was from the base. You assumed the reason for its invisibility on cards was because it probably was some sort of safe house, so you were lost about your current whereabouts. Well, at least the Captain was apparently well aware of this place, so you weren’t completely lost, unless he just left you there.

Your eyes immediately jumped to where he was once again tinkering with something, staring at his back. And no, he didn’t seem to plan some sort of escape, and you quickly averted your eyes before your heart began to think for itself once again.

Something rustled outside of the window, and at first you thought it might be just a harmless animal. That was until a group of masked people almost kicked the door down or entered through the window. Your hands fumbled around at this intrusion, looking for some sort of weapon to hold, to prepare to defend yourself.

They had taken the Captain off guard, yet he was able to fend them off. But for some reason it didn’t seem like they were targeting him to begin with. And you were still vulnerable, no weapon in sight. You glanced around, looking for the dagger he had used earlier for the fabric, and you found it on the commode close to the bed.

Slowly, you leaned to the side, trying to avoid their attention for as long as possible. But someone stood in front of you, tutting as they noticed your plan. With your way blocked, you had no way to reach the weapon, so you had to improvise.

You grabbed the bowl from earlier and smashed it on the head of the person standing between you and the dagger. It broke into shards, and some cut into your skin, but that didn’t matter in the prospect of your enemy staggering and slumping. With this move, the way to the weapon had opened itself to you once again and you take your chance, almost yanking the dagger away from the top of the commode.

You glanced in the direction of the Captain who was still fighting off multiple masked people with ease in this enclosed space, and you immediately tensed up, ready to jump in whenever an opportunity arises. But before you had any time to even target one of the enemies, you felt a prickle on the back of your neck. Swatting away at whatever that was, you turned around to face someone slightly shorter than you holding some sort of syringe.

“Good night!” a young girls voice came from their direction, and you furrowed your brows, wondering what she could have meant with that.

Until a wave of dizziness suddenly hit you, making you sway slightly, your hand clutching the frame of the chair as you tried to hold yourself together. You almost forgot about the dagger, but the last remnants of your mind were conscious enough to make yourself slump over to be able to slip the weapon into one of your boots. You didn’t even have enough time to check if it was going to hold before you slipped from the chair and onto the ground. barely feeling your extremities anymore. Still, you tried to move anything, even the tiniest twitch of your fingers.

The last thing you saw were your fingers reaching for the Captain as he began to struggle with the mob. And you met his eyes before everything drowned into a silent black.

[cuddlebugzz]

Hey everybody! This is definitely tmi, but since I would've liked a first hand account when I was nervous with doing new agere things - I thought it might help others! Today I'm going to talk about my experience with buying agere items, specifically, a paci, a sippy cup, goodnites, and more! Full experiences under the cut, this is gonna be a long post.

The bullet points ☆ are in the order of the pictures, except the first, I don't have a picture for it. ☆ <- mystery box ☆ <- caterpillar ☆ <- paci ☆ <-onesie ☆ <- coloring books ☆ <- sippy ☆ <- goodnites

☆ The first item that I got was actually an agere mystery box from etsy. I was really nervous about buying it, but really eager to get some agere stuff. I specifically wanted a sippy of bottle and a paci, but didn't have a lot of money, so I bought a small mystery box - I'm pretty sure it was about $15. I didn't want to buy items on their own in fear that it would be really obvious somehow - I still lived with my family.

It came in a cute but discreet envelope, and it had some snacks (fruit snacks and animal crackers, I didn't end up eating them), a crayola bath bomb, some stickers, play dough. Like most mystery boxes, I didn't end up using most of it "^^ However, the last item was the baby paci! I was really excited to have it, I'm pretty sure it was white with a manta ray on it.

It took me a few nights to use it, it lived in a box under my bed until I was ready. When I finally did use it, watching cartoons in bed while everyone else was asleep - whoops! I didn't like it "^^. A lot of the fault lies in it not being a proper adult paci, I think. I didn't fit right in my mouth so it felt weird and uncomfortable. Either way, I was excited to get an agere collection going!

☆ Another item of note I have is a baby toy, a rattle caterpillar from a baby store. Long story short, I was doing a gift drive there, and we bought some toys to put on the table as examples. We sat out there for a long time, so we were bored, and the other volunteers were entertained by the toys, even though they're for babies! I actually had one of these caterpillar toys as a baby, and we couldn't donate it because it wasn't properly packaged- so my dad let me keep it. No one thought it was weird, and the only comments I've ever gotten is about how cute it is. Goes to show that buying "baby stuff" might not be as weird as you think. More on that later.

☆ The next item I purchased was from the amazingly awesome @princeminnow ! I had wanted an adult paci since the other one didn't work, but I don't like the design of deco pacis. I just wanted one that looked like a regular nuk paci - and minnow had just that! The paci I bought from his is the blue one pictured up top, it has a sleepy bear and it glows in the dark! I'm pretty sure his stuff goes for around $14, but it's worth every penny. He's really nice and his stuff is unique and great quality! Same discreet but cute packaging, with a wonderful note :) Go check out his shop!

As for using it, I liked this one more than the other for sure! I like how it glows in the dark, and it actually fits in my mouth this time. Even if I don't really suck on it like some do, I like to chew it, and it's perfect for that. I still don't reach for it too often though, pacis just aren't as soothing for me as I thought they'd be :p Totally a personal experience though - and I'm really glad i tried it!

☆ The next thing I bought was a onesie off of depop. It was second hand from a shop called lil k1nk boutique, which was super not fun, but it had a pattern I loved in my size so I bought it anyway. I was really nervous because there was confusion with shipping, I didn't know if it would show up at my house or my dorm. It ended up at my dorm. I had a roommate who was nice, but probably would not understand agere, so I was nervous about her seeing, but luckily she was gone most of the time so I got to try it on without fear of her being in the room. I couldn't keep it on the whole night cuz I was nervous, bit I was still so excited to have it!

I wore it again at home, and honestly, as with the first paci, not my favorite thing. Like its nice, but I underestimated the autistic opposition to an unfamiliar cut of clothing (long sleeves no pants) and I was still nervous to wear it. I haven't tried it in a few months, maybe I'll give it another spin! I bet it'll be better in the colder months, when I have fluffy pants over it. Even though it didn't work out on the first try, once again, I'm still happy to have it!

☆ Another item I thought I'd mention are my justice league coloring books, because I ordered them to my dorm. I was nervous about my roommates thinking it was weird, but by this time I'd moved into a much more nuerodivergent space lol. My roommate, who is absolutely wonderful, had put together a coloring activity literally the day before, which I declined because I was busy and I don't really like adult coloring books, they're too complicated to relax me. The next day when my justice league stuff arrived (activity book and a water wow) I felt comfortable telling them about it. I explained that I always wanted these kind of coloring books, I think water wows are really cool and justice league is my special interest. Everyone I told about was very supportive, and glad I got something fun! Another example about kiddie stuff not being as weird as one might think - especially in nuerodivergent spaces.

☆ one of the most recent items I've bought was a sippy cup, the first thing I've bought in an actual store. Like a lot of age regressors, I could look at the baby aisle for one million years. But I haven't, because I thought that'd be weird.

Spoiler: it's not weird at all. I have actually been to the baby aisle with my friends before, just to look at all the cute stuff. Also, if you were to see someone in the baby aisle, you would just assume they were... buying stuff for a baby. Doesn't even have to be for a daughter or son, they could babysit. So once I was actually there looking at all the cups, it was not as weird as I thought I would be.

I went to target, and they had a good selection of sippies. I'm glad I bought one I'm person, because I would have waaay underestimated how itty bitty some of these are. Like, so tiny, they're for babies after all. And it helped me pick one, because on the internet I feel like I need the perfect one, because the internet has everything, and I'm disappointed when I don't find it. But in a store, I'm like, "aw I like that :)" and buy it. Which is exactly what I did - and I think it's perfect! It's gender nuetral, it even has stars like I wanted! Good size too, it can hold a regular drink amount. I just went through the self checkout and bought it with my other items, easy peezy.

I got home and tried it that night, with my door closed. I got some ice water in a regular cup and poured it in my sippy in my room. And let me tell you - I looooove it. For one, this thing does not spill. They are not lying this cup must sippy, liquid is not coming out any other way. It's the perfect size like I said, and once you get passed the learning curve of drinking - pro tip, press down with your teeth and a lot more liquid comes out - its wonderfully soothing. The only con, and this is lightly embarrassing, three plastic cover top is hard to open. It's a childproof cap for obvious reasons, and I have tried to uncap it only to unscrew the whole thing way too many time. Other than that, its a dream come true! Highly recommend!

☆ last but certainly not least, my latest purchase, the goodnites. I've wanted nappies (diapers) for a pretty long time. I waffled between nappies, pull-ups, and training pants for forever, but the former and latter had too many factors that put me off. Mostly bulkiness. At least for a first time, I don't want them to be bulky. But I did more research, and discovered that XL goodnites should fit me - I'm 5'2 and 100 pounds - and best of all, they have a space print!! They're perfect!! I ordered them on postmark (a spare package someone didn't want), it came out to around $15 for 9 pull-ups. It was listed as $8 but shipping was a lot xp Whatever, I bought them anyway.

(This is where its gonna get tmi, skip to the conclusion if you don't wanna read it!) I spent a lot of time nervous about my family finding them, as always. One thing that did bring me a little comfort though - I'm actually on my period right now, and I've actually heard of people using adult diapers for it. Like, it's not common, but I live with all boys, they wouldn't know that. Is it farfetched? Yeah, but it makes me feel better. And honestly it made my feel much better putting them on - they are really not that different from pads I use. I hate my period sooo much, pure autism hell, but honestly I think this might help.

A big reason I wanted nappies in any capacity was a, comfy, and b, I honestly do have issues with going to the bathroom sometimes. I think it's an autism thing, I have a lot of anxiety around getting up and going to the bathroom, especially when I'm in bed, and it gets so bad sometimes it makes me stomach hurt. I'm not sure if I'll test how these can help, as I've heard they're not super good for that, but maybe that's where I'll try real adult nappies. You can get samples on abu for under $10 sometimes, maybe I'll try that over the summer.

Conclusion: highly recommend. They're very comfy, so cute, and discreet too. They don't make any noise when I walk and they're not bulky. I love them! Great first nappy!

Anyway, that's all I have for today! Thanks for reading my incredibly long rambling, I hope it could provide a little help for anyone who needs it!

[burninwrath]

“My liege,”

Armored footsteps echoed along the halls and into the throne room, turquoise gaze hardened and worn from his time here; numb from all of the chaos he had aided and endured. Time that had shaped the once proud knight of Princess Cookie’s kingdom into a more warped version of himself. Brilliant white armor now replaced with a much sharper, sinister red, the knight now compliant and comfortable to the servitude for the man before him.

His gaze softened slightly, though the soured expression on his face always seemed to be mostly permanent. “We have annihilated another army, and the hopes of invasion on our end is continuing to rise. Soon, there will be more land for you to call your own.” He explained, stepping closer to him until he stood in front of the man who still managed to tower over him despite sitting down. A time ago, the Knight had been stubborn when it came to serving the Beast, and though he couldn’t place how much time it had been, he couldn’t look back from who he was now. There was no going back to who he was before he met the Beast—And with what they had shared between each other, he didn’t want to go back anymore.

He accepted this fate.

Fingertips, clawed by the gauntlets he wore twitches with the urge to touch Burning Spice, but he refrained from it until he was told other wise. His cautiousness was still a part of him.

“I thought that maybe…You should eat the news from me. I assumed you would be pleased.” A pause. “I would…like to stay here with you, unless you wish for me to go back to my post.” ( / this got long whoops. Have ur little spicy man )

The larger being leans forward, eyes shimmering in the dark as a rumble echoes from his chest. A pleased purring as his large hands rested upon his knees. The thick black locks of hair falling around his form as he takes in the visage of his knight. - His beloved knight. Who had listened to his very whim and command without a second thought. He wondered, just briefly , if the other even felt remorse for what he had done to get to where he was currently. But it was answered with the gaze that was returned back to his own burning stare. The dark pools of turquoise unblinking- unflinching as he delivered the news to the beast. Burning spice could almost sense a hint of pride in the others voice as he spoke. Eager to tell his king of his missions unsurprising success.

"You may stay." came the response, cutting through the silence between them as the beast shifted once more. Knowing exactly what the knight wanted as he lounged on his side. A clawed finger beckoning him forward as the doors closed slowly in the throne room. Leaving them there in the dimly lit room. Red flames casting itself on the crimson sandstone which constructed the great palace in which Burning Spice hid himself.

"Come - tell me of your triumph. Entertain your king while he suffers from his boredom."

[harrowlark]

Sorting More Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes with Sorting Hat Chats

This post uses the Sorting Hat Chats system, originally created by @sortinghatchats. It’s a personality system, sort of like mbti or enneagram, except it developed right here in fandom for talking about and analysing fictional characters.

SHC is about two things — your motive (called your primary) and your method (called your secondary). You can read a full explanation of the system over here (thanks, @wisteria-lodge!)

@the-phoenix-heart has already done a great post on Coriolanus and Lucy Gray over here, which I recommend you go and read if you haven’t already! But since I have A Lot Of Thoughts about this book (and am currently writing a longfic about it that’s going to end up at 200k+, whoops) I figured I’d chat about the sortings of a few of its other characters.

Also, good lord this ended up long for a post just about three characters. Like, grab some snacks, grab a glass of water. The rest of this post is below the cut, to protect your dash. You ready? Let’s go!

Sejanus Plinth — Double Lion with a Badger primary model and possibly a singed secondary

Starting with his primary — Sejanus is a good example of how Badgers and Paragon Lions (that is, Lions with Badger values) can be really difficult to distinguish from one another, especially in fiction. People are people and this means something to him, in a way it doesn’t to either the Capitol or his father. It’s a Badger ideal, but it’s not exclusive to Badgers. Although Sejanus is so incredibly heartfelt about it that I do think he’s a Felt primary (Lion or Badger).

There’s his angst about leaving Two, his community that he still considers an incredibly important part of his identity, that could be a Badger primary thing… but it also could be a human thing. And it’s so tied up in his guilt for his father’s actions during the war, and I think any primary could be hit hard by a parent producing munitions for a war against their own people. (And later using the money from said munitions to save their own skins and move away from home. Sejanus has reams of survivor’s guilt, and that’s just a person thing.)

I could still be convinced either way, I think (and if anyone reading has strong opinions, I’m curious to hear your thoughts!). But I’ve come down on Lion for him, and that’s because of the way he talks so readily about systems and what’s right, not just the Badger that’s a person! stuff. When Dr. Gaul says it’s the Capitol’s right, to treat the Districts how they choose, he doesn’t come back with they’re people, how could you? but meets her at her level, Idealist to Idealist. “You’ve no right.” Everyone is born with life and freedom, and “they’re not yours for the taking.”

There’s also the way he lives for so long in the Capitol without giving an inch. Badgers are External primaries, meaning they tend to adopt the values of their larger communities. I’d expect a Badger to have more… doubt, more misgivings. Or to dehumanise the Capitol more, as a way to cope. But Lions have a way of digging in their heels and saying no, I know what’s right. They’re also, classically, the most at peace with being loners. And Sejanus isn’t happy being alone in the Capitol… but you get the sense he’d choose it every time over compromising his ideals.

I also think having him as a Lion creates an interesting read on the way he bonds so easily with Coriolanus and not with his father, despite the two being really quite similar people in a lot of ways. Sure, Coriolanus is charismatic and trying to be liked in a way that maybe Strabo isn’t, I’m sure that’s part of it. But Coriolanus, fellow Lion primary, also seems to just… get it, where Sejanus is coming from with his ideals. Coriolanus doesn’t like it — Sejanus is rejecting everything that his Lion has been fighting for most of his life. But he gets the innate drive, because he’s the same way with his own success, his safety and control, his family’s power. So he slots it into his calculations about how to act around Sejanus and moves on. Whereas I get the sense that Strabo probably doesn’t understand Sejanus in quite the same way.

(External primaries — Badger and Bird — have this knack for just deciding to like something, or to be alright with something. In parents, this can often manifest in expecting their kids to be able to do the same thing. I don’t think we have enough information on Strabo to conclusively sort him, but I do wonder if that’s what’s going on here.)

All that being said — groups and his community in Two, forming one with the rebels, are important enough to Sejanus that I’m going to say he has a full Badger model, rather than just being a Lion with Badger ideals.

As for his secondary, he’s a Lion, through and through. He goes the direct route, he’s unapologetically himself. He can do the Lion secondary “dimmer switch” where he stays quiet about parts of himself or his ideals — he would have had to learn that, to survive as long as he did. But the moments where he’s at his most powerful… I’m coming back to that conversation with Dr. Gaul again. He stands his ground and says “You’ve no right”. It might not get him anywhere in the text itself, but as a reader that’s a powerful moment. Even Coriolanus is grudgingly impressed by his pluck.

In this he’s like Katniss, another Lion secondary. She’s at her most powerful when she can stand her ground, speak her truth, and shoot straight for the problem at hand. It’s the berries, it’s speaking from the heart in her propos, it’s shooting Coin. But it’s also such a dangerous thing to be in Panem, and Collins is keenly aware of that. It so easily could have gotten her killed. Sejanus is a case where it did.

An Aside on the Way Collins Writes Idealists vs Loyalists That Has Become it’s Own Section as it’s So Damn Long

The contrast between Sejanus and Katniss is also a good example of the way Collins tends to write about Idealist primaries (Lion and Bird) vs Loyalists (Snake and Badger). When Collins writes Idealists, they have a tendency to sort of… careen off some edge or another, for their drive, or their ideals, or their philosophy.

Coriolanus loses himself in his drive for control, safety. He makes himself someone who will thrive in the Capitol, because he values his own comfort more than he values the snatches of empathy, of another way forward, that he ponders throughout Ballad. And so he murders the part of himself that cares. The boy who told Lucy Gray that he should be like Sejanus and try to quit the Games ends up trying to kill them both. This is his tragedy.

Gale loses himself in his drive to defeat the Capitol. He makes himself someone who has what it takes to help win the war, because he values justice and perhaps revenge more than he values the human life on the ground. And so he murders the part of himself that cares. The boy who told Katniss that he’d protect their families above everything gets Prim killed. This is his tragedy.

Coin you can read as either or both of the above, depending on how much you think she believed in rebel justice vs her own security and power. We’ll get to Dr. Gaul later on, but she’s also an example of someone who cared more for her own safety and philosophy than the lives of the people she has power over.

It’s not as simple as “good Loyalists, bad Idealists” — certainly the Idealists in this series are written sympathetically, even when the text disagrees with them. We understand Coriolanus wanting his family to be safe and fed. We understand Gale wanting justice. But surviving in a dystopian dictatorship, under that kind of violent oppression, is hard, and enacting meaningful change is even harder. Every single character has to grapple with that, but the Idealists tend to get the worst of it. Whether they choose to submit for personal gain like Coriolanus or fight fire with fire like Gale or Coin, they lose something of themselves in the process, and it drives them to tragedy one way or another.

And then there’s Sejanus. Sejanus, who knows the risk of loosing himself, who’s seen his father do the exact same thing and who knows what the cost of that has been. He will not murder the part of himself that cares. He will not even pretend. But he doesn’t know how to move forward for his ideals, without that first act of self-mutilation, and he can’t live with himself for that.

And… this is speculation, but I think maybe he’s terrified that he’s destined for it anyway. “What makes you think I could do that?” he asks Coriolanus, when Coriolanus says he can do good with the Plinth fortune when he inherits. There are lots of reasons Sejanus might say that. Maybe it’s just unthinkable to him to say that sort of money could do good. Maybe, in SHC terms, it’s a sign of burning on his secondary, that he doesn’t think he’s capable of his own actions doing good. But I also think it’s possible that he really doesn’t think he’ll get that far with his whole self intact, after the pressure exerted on him by his father, by the Capitol. That he thinks either his compassion will die young, or he will. So he nearly looses himself to despair, instead.

But to be a Loyalist, in this series, is to have something that grounds you. It protects you from loosing yourself the same way. Peeta is aware of the risk of self-mutilation. “I don’t want them to change me,” he says, before his first Games. But he’s a Snake primary, and the way he keeps hold of himself is his devotion to Katniss. To change him, Coriolanus must remove this devotion — the hijacking — but even this cannot last. Katniss, likewise, is kept focused and steadied by her own Snake primary, by the people she fights for. It’s still difficult — wars have a way of coming for the people you love. But even when Katniss is at her lowest point, her love still centres her. When she kills Coin, it’s “for Prim”.

The text is saying — yes, the world is big and you are very small. But if you can help one person, that means something. If you can fight for one person, that means something. And those small acts of kindness and love are where change comes from, in the end.

This is how I think Lucy Gray manages to be the rare Idealist in this series who doesn’t careen off some edge or another. Because that sort of small-scale love is her ideal. She’s focused, she’s grounded, she cares for the Covey and her own personal freedom and the impact of her own actions on the world.

And she’s flexible, about her ideals. When Coriolanus and Coin and Gale and Dr. Gaul careen off that edge it’s sort of… it, for them. There’s no coming back, they’re too committed for that. Sejanus, if I’m right, is terrified that will be him, too. Lucy Gray is no stranger to becoming morally grey. She’s a victor, she’s killed people. But, to her, this does not prevent her from doing the work to walk on the right side of the line. This does not excuse her from doing the work to walk on the right side of the line. It’s her life’s work and she will see it through.

And then we have Coriolanus. And the thing is, he starts off with these sort of small-scale ideals, too. He cares for his family, he cares for Lucy Gray, and he prioritises them over a lot. And you could read that as being a performance, or that he only cares for what their wellbeing could do for him. I know a lot of people read him that way. But there’s another reading where it’s at least a mix. I’d argue even his care for Sejanus winds up being at least halfway genuine. And in that reading… you get the sense that his care for them could have been what saved him, if only he had let it.

Dr. Volumnia Gaul — Double Bird

Double Birds in fiction are classically either the (mad) scientist or the mentor figure. With Dr. Gaul being both, is it any wonder this is her sorting? @the-phoenix-heart already mentioned her sorting in their post, but as that was a quick one-liner and I have Many Thoughts, I’m going to chat about her here for a little bit!

So, Bird primary — the way she mentors Coriolanus (and to a lesser extent the other Hunger Games mentors) is very Bird. She lays out the evidence of her system, her worldview, and expects this will be what convinces people to follow suit. @the-phoenix-heart wrote that Coriolanus probably built a Bird primary model for her, and I absolutely agree. And then there’s the bit where she says that what she loved about the war was that it proved her right… which is such an Idealist thing to say, but maybe swings a little more Bird, too. There’s that Bird drive for truth, as opposed to for a cause (which would swing Lion).

As for her Bird secondary, that’s obvious too. She loves plans, she loves tools, and she’s always working on tinkering with both to make them better. Her mutts are a beloved tool. The Games are a beloved tool. Coriolanus, fellow Bird secondary, takes a little while to come around to her ideals, but the Games as a tool? Control as strategy? He gets that immediately. “So obvious. Too obvious,” he says, about controlling the eternal war.

There’s an interesting thing about her Double Bird, mad scientist vibes, though, that I think separates her from the classic Double Bird scientist who gets so caught up in their scientific shenanigans that they don’t realise or care how ���mad” they come off.

This is pure speculation, but — what do we think she was like, growing up? She’s sadistic, a “nerd”, quite probably some form of neurodivergent. What are the odds she was the “weird kid” in her class? Which is a hard thing to be under the best of circumstances, but in the Capitol? It must have been brutal. Thinking of her this way unlocked a lot about her character and motivations, for me.

No wonder she decided it was true that humanity is brutal, vicious, at constant war with itself. No wonder she doesn’t take on evidence that questions that truth. No wonder she loved the war, when everyone else suddenly saw what she did. No wonder she loves the Games, which specifically use children as an example of the brutal nature she sees in humanity. Finally, something to point to when people tell her that children are innocent.

And no wonder she values control so highly. I think she probably learnt quite young — at school, maybe at university — that fear is a powerful means of control, of personal safety. It’s one of the main tools she passes down to Coriolanus. Getting back to what I mentioned about her Double Bird, mad scientist vibes — in SHC terms, I think this is an Actor Bird costume she’s built for herself, as well as being reflective of her actual sorting. Everything “mad” about her seems so carefully calculated to manufacture a reaction. The nursery rhymes when she starts a conversation, that she drops the moment things get truly serious. The carefully planned encounter with Clemensia and the snakes. She’s using the trope itself as a tool, because she knows “the mad scientist” is something that scares people.

Tigris Snow — Badger Snake with an exploded Badger secondary model in Ballad and an Actor Bird secondary model in Mockingjay

Unlike every other character in this book who’s been sorted so far, Tigris never talks about ideals or truths or philosophies or causes. She talks about people — her family most of all, but others as well. Lucy Gray is a person, and that instantly matters to her. She’s definitely a Loyalist, but I could see Snake, I could see Badger. She’s a minor enough character that you could pull her either way. But I’ve come down on Badger for her for a couple of reasons. Apart from Sejanus, she’s one of the main mouthpieces for the “the districts are people and that matters” argument, which as I’ve said before isn’t exclusive to Badgers but is a Badger thing.

And it’s a small thing, but there’s the way she refuses to hear anything bad against her boss, Fabrica, as Tigris is so grateful she gave her a position in fashion. I think a Snake would be more likely to say that no, she doesn’t owe Fabrica anything, if Fabrica is going to treat her like that. But Badgers take their obligation to the group seriously, and they can run into problems with dismissing their own worth in the process.

As for her secondary… there’s definitely some Badger there. She’s the main caretaker in the Snow household and caretaking is classically a Badger secondary thing. But the fact that this is something she’s had to learn how to be makes me think it’s probably a model she’s picked up for that specific purpose — which then exploded, this girl seems to always be up all night working.

The biggest example of her problem-solving is Coriolanus’ Reaping Day shirt, and from that we learn that she’s adaptable. Take the fabric from an old pouch, exchange favours with the maintenance man, tell your boss her curtains need bleaching so you can slip in the shirt while you’re doing it. Rapid-fire Bird, Snake — she’s in her element, fashion, which makes it hard to distinguish between the two. But there’s the way she looks around at her environment for cues. The tesserae she takes from the walls on the maid’s bathroom for buttons.

And there’s also the playful way she seems to have of coming up with little words and phrases on the fly, as a kid. Nicknames like Coryo and the Grandma’am, and the mantra Snow lands on top. I think she’s a Snake secondary, the balance to Coriolanus’ Bird that made them such an effective team growing up. It’s the same thing we see with him and Lucy Gray, another Snake.

But then we arrive at Mockingjay, and Tigris feels so incredibly different. She’s this very carefully constructed persona of a tiger, enigmatic and silent with a purr when she talks. In SHC terms, it’s an Actor Bird costume, it’s too obviously constructed to be anything else. As for why she made it… that’s anyone’s guess. But it’s such a break from the way she presents herself in tbosas that has to have been part of the point.

One thing about that costume, though? She can’t take it off. It’s literally tattooed on her skin. And if there’s one thing Actor Birds (whether innate or modelled) don’t seem to like, it’s when they get stuck in one of their roles.

[drbtinglecannon]

Why hello there buddy, hope you didn't think you weren't gonna get an ask in return >w> So hey for that fic ask, how about numbers... 1, 11, 29, 39, 50, and 75! And yee same, just however many you feel like answering :D

Haha I actually forgor so this is a lovely surprise! ^^

Hell yeah I will answer all of them! 💪💪 Unless I already did, I think I got a few of these before

1. Do you daydream before you write, or go for it as soon as the idea strikes?

I did answer that here! But basically I daydream a LOT but sometimes that keeps me from finishing the fic because it's like "I already wrote it" in my head, and other times I will just go for it and finish the idea in one sitting but that really only works for one-shots (which is most of what I write anyway). The fic I posted yesterday I just wrote it as the idea came to me

11. Do you write scenes in order, or do you jump around?

I used to force myself to slog through writing everything in order, but it killed so many wip by making me bored of the idea because I wasn't writing the fun bits yet, so now I jump around haha. Which does sometimes create issues when I start bridging the bits together and have to tweak or completely cut stuff, but it overall keeps me writing more and helps my creativity flowing by quickly getting down the parts I want to and building around them

39. What's your most self-indulgent wip?

29. What's something about your writing that you're proud of?

Also answered here! But sure I can give myself another compliment I earned it!

I'm proud of how my writing has improved over the years. Obviously any skill gets better the more you work it (I say as someone who typically gets distressed and will immediately drop something if I'm not instantly perfect at it 👍) but it's been really satisfying seeing my writing get good enough to be in a couple zines and having people enjoy what I've shared :) so thanks everyone who's ever been nice to my writing haha

For something that's almost done, it's a joke about a trope I never thought I'd write that got way too out of hand and sentimental instead of just quick dirty horny lol. Whoops ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

As far as planned out but not close to being done writing wise, it's a long fic for an obscure ot3 that died pre-canon and it's following the development of their relationships before exploding into their individual horrific deaths, and then maybe a sequel that follows a slightly canon divergent yet still canon compliant idea of what sets about the trainwreck leading to their deaths. Including me it'll maybe have 4 fans haha, but that's fine I love the concept and am having fun daydreaming about it. It's extremely self-indulgent to the point it's embarrassing

50. How would you describe your writing style?

1% evil (syntax) 99% hot gas (banter)

Hahah, but yeah I think I really thrive with conversation but I also really really enjoy working sentences until they bleed (aka I gave up) to convey as much info and emotion as I can without being too wordy, because outside of writing stories/fic/poems I'm an rambling mess that says "like" and "fuck" far too much haha! It's my only time to be concise ✌️

75. Is there a particular fic that readers gravitated towards that you didn't expect?

My first ever fic both that I wrote and posted. It blew up a lot more than I ever expected or hoped, and it still gets kudos regularly and comments occasionally, and is still by far my most popular fic haha

Unfortunately that causes me the tiniest 🤏 amount of psychic damage each time because while I'm thrilled people still enjoy it and that it's been read by so many people, it does not hold up to my current writing skills by any means. Oh boy it is rough around the edges haha

[tadpoles-and-daydreams]

First meditation with Khaos, the vast void of space

Quick warnings: this is a pretty long post, but I'm using it as a way to record everything I remember happening during this meditation so it has things other than just what happened with Khaos! This is also actually originally written weeks ago, I just left it in my drafts for ages whoops.

Another note: I won't be using only she/her pronouns for Khaos in the future, although I don't think they give a singular fuck either way, I just am tired today and wanted to get this posted without having to edit it.

UPG disclaimer. Even the title is UPG, my personal associations with Khaos.

So, I had things to do and decided I wanted to have a proper chat with Loki about it. I started up my meditation music, grabbed whatever crystals felt right, and laid down.

One of the first things they did was hug me. I am someone who has issues with receiving love, and this caught me entirely off guard. Of course I go "wtf bitch you can't do that???" And he basically told me something along the lines of "fuck you I do what I want." (Note: Loki is deeply salty that I cannot remember their actual wording, as it did not have the boundary breaking "I hug you if I want no matter your thoughts on it" implications this wording does. Loki is big on boundaries being respected with me. I feel the need to write that down.)

But we chatted about a spell I was planning, and Loki- who promptly draped himself across a couple logs all dramatically- was very enthusiastic about helping. We went back and forth, I also brought up Apollo to say hello, and then I felt... someone on the edge of things. Apollo was pretty abruptly gone, which makes sense for reasons I'll explain in a moment.

Loki stepped beside me, and sort of had their arm over my shoulders in a distinctly protective manner. Thing is, nothing felt malicious, and I asked them why the hell they seemed so protective when I felt perfectly safe. They explained that I was safe, but "she's pretty fucking intimidating so you might need someone to keep you steady."

Enter Khaos. I realized it was her because instead of a humanoid, or even recognizable form, suddenly within the protected astral space I go when I meditate (I'll just call it "homespace" from now on) is this massive fucking orb of void.

Except this is much bigger, and the orb I was met with was only... "half" of one. Like it'd been sliced, a few solid chunks cut out, like when a video game renders wrong and certain chunks won't load. I actively tried to imagine it as whole, to change it- it wouldn't budge. When I took the above screenshot as a reference, seeing how tiny my character was compared to the in-game thing that I compared Khaos to, it brought a whole new meaning to Loki's explanation as to why it was only half of an orb.

"She's trying not to scare you."

Loki assured me that they would be with me the whole time, that we were not leaving homespace and the orb was completely within the protection of homespace, and we walked in. It was pitch black, void all around, and I could see Loki as if he was lit up in the middle of day but that was it. Khaos came out of the void, sort of appearing out of the "wall" of darkness- being formed from it herself as if it were liquid. I asked her what she had to say.

She looked at me, just smiled, and said "good luck."

I admit, I laughed. I pointed out that THAT sounded ominous as hell. I knew what she meant- she was genuinely wishing me luck, since I have a lot of growth ahead of me and working with her is going to be a pretty big deal for me. But at the time, I couldn't help but laugh. Later, when I was recounting this to my mom, I got a very clear image of hands of darkness holding a bright orb of light. Offering it to me. It wasn't just wishing me luck. It was a gift.

Not long after that, I was suddenly made more aware of my physical body in the form of an ant crawling across me. I got the ant off of me, and went back- only to find that I couldn't just go back to the void we were standing in. Loki met me where we originally had started, and confirmed that I wasn't able to go into her space uninvited. I told them I couldn't go through the process of getting further into a meditative state and walking back into the void, and they said it was okay.

And I swear to you, I'm not fucking with you when I say this is exactly what was said next.

Me: "So... It's so interesting- Is the only way to talk to her to go into the void, be consumed by her energy entirely?"

Khaos, suddenly behind me: "Sort of, but not entirely no."

Me, finding out that my startle reflex is just as bad in the astral: "JESUS FUCKING CHRIST-"

Khaos: "No." (As in no, she's not Jesus. /Lh I just feel like it might not be clear!)

You guys. She wasn't even trying to be funny. I adore Khaos already I'm gonna have a fucking great time.

[un-local]

Howdy, friend, have you heard the cut dialogue (Rogier's part is at 2:48) for 'dreambrew'? We have Stratek to thank for this gem.

Rogier's dialogue offers insight into his personality, namely his facade. If the Tarnished offers the dreambrew to Rogier after he becomes afflicted by Deathblight, he tersely says, "No, thank you. I don't need your pity." Then he catches himself, saying, "...Sorry. You were only trying to be nice. It would be my pleasure to take it."

I honestly kind of hesitate to call Rogier's affability a facade, implying a manipulative motive, but I would not go so far as to say it isn't something of a pretense. Concealing his "anger, grief, regret, [and] fear" may be his way of grasping for control, to keep intact the man he was before.

Our Tarnished becomes dear to Rogier, and Fia glimpses that bond ("[D]ear Rogier began to weep as he spoke..."/"I heard that you lent a hand to dear Rogier. He seemed positively elated."/"You truly are a champion. To dear Rogier, and myself, too."). He becomes very attached to us, though he holds himself back and only shares his elation in private with Fia. He is ""abed"" with her, so maybe his inhibitions slacken during that time.

Rogier, *clenches fist* accept our friendship.

I had not seen this before. Holy shit. Sorry for the late reply, but I ended up writing an essay about this, whoops. I’ve tried to segment my thoughts here into semi-coherent segments. Read at your own peril, I suppose.

First, I’ll preface with this:

This game doesn’t have NPC models that emote facially, which is a major factor our brains use to interpret meaning. Without it, the interpretations available to us about these characters are innumerable—I’ll give you mine, but there’s a whole lot more out there. There’s a good chance what I get from this game isn’t gonna fit perfectly into what anyone else will get, and that’s half the fun. 

(In Rogier’s case, I think having facial expression would be wildly helpful in figuring him out—particularly in the discrepancies between what he says versus the look on his face as he says it. But alas. It’s not in the cards for us. Life goes on.)

Now. Back to your regularly scheduled programming of “Madwoman Screams Into the Void Over Pixels, Part 48478456”

[1: IS THE FACADE MANIPULATION? ]

I don’t think Rogier’s cordiality is manipulative either—at least, not intentionally so. I think he just doesn’t like to rock the boat. In terms of social interactions, he takes the path of least resistance: saying whatever the situation calls for to keep that pleasant, distant civility that he seems to work best in. (The most obvious example of this being his line about “telling a good lie when I need to” in reference to keeping D in the dark about his aims.)

Although Rogier conceals much of his true feelings and self, I wouldn’t characterize him as maliciously deceitful. But I would say there are times where—despite his good intentions—his facade crosses the line from “politeness” into the more dubious territory of “lying by omission,” or even just plain lying.

(I think to him, there are times when the ends justify the means. But that’s another post.)

[ 2: WHY THE FACADE? ]

Now, this facade does help ingratiate him to others, and presumably helps grease the wheels on this whole “exploration of death” business, but I don’t think that’s why he does it. 

If I had to hazard a guess: He’s got a strong aversion to emotional vulnerability, plain and simple. 

According to his set:  “Rogier spent his entire life behaving with utter detachment. No one noticed the anger, grief, regret, or fear that existed along with it.”

“His entire life.” So it’s an aversion that seems to have long predated his interactions with the Tarnished, or even his time in The Lands Between as a whole. (He does mention first coming to TLB in his initial interaction, implying he’s from elsewhere. Most Tarnished seem to be outsiders, coming to TLB only after rising from death, according to Miyazaki.)

(Image from this post by yournextflame)

I think what you said—that Rogier conceals his emotions and clings to decorum/indifference as a way of grasping for control—is right on the money. 

[ 3: CONTROL OVER WHAT?]

Rogier is plagued by “anger, grief, regret, and fear. Those are all very strong emotions that, when expressed, aren’t usually done so subtly. For him to have control over his demeanor is for him to have control over himself. 

I’m gonna go out on a limb and speak from personal experience here: keeping that tempest inside feels vital to keeping it from wreaking havoc—especially on the things closest to you. But eventually, it gets to a point where any (conspicuous, non-casual) expression of emotion can feel like losing control. A breach in the dam, if you will. A little lets a lot out.

(I’d wager there’s a strong connection between him “keeping the mask on” and “dignity” in his mind.)

But keeping your cool that much, for that long, is alienating. Which eventually changes the homeostasis that you want to maintain:

“I can’t let them see me break,” (A momentary slip, embarrassing, but can be recovered from)

Turns into:

“I can’t let them get close enough to see how broken I am.” (A permanent, shameful state of being.)

Under that mindset of the latter, the new imperative is to keep people from being close at all. It demands “utter detachment,” if you will. 

[ Quick Aside: ] Obviously, the two examples above are cognitive distortions. But the emotional impact of those thoughts real. Consider how saying “ha, that was foolish of me” is much easier to bounce back from than saying “I am stupid.” The wording, over time, can change the way you see yourself, which in turn can alter your behavior. It’s a tough loop to be stuck in.

It’s worth noting that, in the long run, this kind of detachment can actually weaken the barriers that you desperately feel like you need to maintain.

Eventually, any closeness with anyone is just begging for emotional catastrophe. (“If anyone comes close to me, I will break.”) 

I think his relations with Fia (whatever they are) only serves to emphasize this. But more on that later.

[ 4: HOW THE CUT DIALOGUE FITS INTO THIS ]

"...Sorry. You were only trying to be nice.”

The delivery of that line is what stands out to me—when I first heard it, it didn’t sound like that was a good thing in his eyes. Which I think given the above, makes sense. The Tarnished’s kindness has serious potential to upend the delicate balance that he’s worked so hard to maintain. 

(Perceived kindness, I should say. The Dreambrew was supposedly meant to allow the player to see the secrets of the one who drinks it.) 

“It would be my pleasure to take it."

This line sounds like he’s giving a lot of effort to be polite and gratuitous, but I’m inclined to think there’s more facade here than truth. Maybe to other people it sounds like genuine appreciation, but in all honesty, it sounds like someone switching into Customer Service voice to me. 

But it’s like I said: there’s many possible interpretations. Have a few:

“This is a pity-gift, and this well-intentioned Tarnished is getting on my nerves.” 

“This might not be a pity-gift, and that is unfathomable to me. This well-intentioned Tarnished is growing on me and THAT’S getting on my nerves.”

“I was wrong to dismiss this as a pity-gift, and the kind gesture of this well-intentioned Tarnished is genuinely moving to me.”

Or, it’s not that complicated, and the tone is just a result of his general worsening condition. Reader’s pick. 

I will say, depending on how much the player has done for him at the time of giving him the Dreambrew, I think there’s a decent argument for the middle. As in, the distance is getting harder to maintain on account of his growing affinity/respect/etc for the Tarnished.

(I suppose it would be nice for it to be the 3rd one—just a genuine, earnest appreciation, accepting of friendship—but I’m… cynical. That’s not to say the Tarnished doesn’t break the ice with him—I think they definitely do break a fair amount of it. I just think some habits are very hard to unlearn.)

[ 5: FIA’S LINES ABOUT ROGIER ]

Fia, after Rogier is injured: “My dear... Have you ever heard of black knifeprints? Dear Rogier likes to talk of it when abed… […] These grand affairs are hardly my forté… But dear Rogier began to weep as he spoke… In truth I've heard tell from someone else, about the black knifeprints that fascinate dear Rogier so.”

Fia, after the Knifeprint is given to Rogier: "I heard that you lent a hand to dear Rogier. He seemed positively elated. You truly are a champion. To dear Rogier, and myself, too."

Oh boy. There sure are a lot of implications there! 

I have a LOT of thoughts on these implications. I’ll post about those separately, once I get my thoughts on the matter wrangled into something coherent. In the meantime, let me try to break down my thoughts on the above lines specifically. 

“You truly are a champion. To dear Rogier, and myself, too."

Like I said, I’m cynical. I’ve always taken that line about being a “champion” to them both as like, Fia being flattering. Not lying—because even when she tricks the player into setting up the circumstances for D’s death, she never outright lies. (“[...] It must have a special place in the owner's heart.”) 

I always imagined she had ulterior motives there, even if she was speaking truthfully. 

I saw it like this: the player helped Rogier, which benefits Fia, if she can get the cursemark from him somehow. So her high praise seemed, to me, a way to keep the player doing what they’re doing. This isn’t anything I have evidence for though, just the impression I got.

I do think that Fia knows Rogier well enough to speak to how much the Knifeprint meant to him. He might not ever intend to get too sappy with the Tarnished about it, but Fia knows him well enough to feel like she can speak on his behalf.

(Is that something he would’ve wanted her to do? Eh. I’d imagine not, personally.) 

Now, did Rogier ever directly say to Fia that the Tarnished was a champion? Or was it just something Fia knew on account of knowing Rogier’s character/dedication to his goals? 

I always assumed it was the latter. But there’s plenty of possibility he’s closer to Fia than he ever is with the player, especially when he knows he’s nearing his end. (The fact that he mentions D, but never Fia, makes me question that though. But he is a very private guy, so it’s anyone’s guess.)

“Dear Rogier likes to talk of it when abed [...] But dear Rogier began to weep as he spoke…”

Remember what I said earlier about isolation weakening emotional barriers, setting the stage for complete Emotional Catastrophe? 

Fia got close, and he fucking broke. It probably didn’t take much on her part either. A little prodding and few well-placed questions, and the house of cards came down spectacularly.

I can’t imagine his emotional expression there was voluntary, given the premises of this insane thesis. 

Additionally, this does mesh well with the fact that he never mentions anything about Fia to the player, despite the cursemark that they both seek. (And the fact that Fia says plenty about him.) It’s probably a sore spot.

[ Quick Aside: ] What was Rogier doing with Fia, if he’s so detached to everyone? Well, I imagine he had ulterior motives of his own, what with him exploring Death and all that. He was expecting to smoothtalk his way into some lead on the cursemark’s location, probably. Free embrace? Sure, why not. But he wasn’t going in there expecting to have any kind of real connection with Fia. So when she found the chink in his armor, it was a break he REALLY wasn’t ready for.

[ FINAL THOUGHTS ]

TLDR: Rogier's internal state can be roughly summed up as:

He's allergic to emotional vulnerability, and the facade he wears is more a reflex now than an active choice. By the end, the balance is getting very hard for him to maintain. Oof. 

So yeah. Cut dialogue. It does shed a little light on the elusive inner workings of the Roundtable Hold’s second biggest nerd. (Certainly the more tolerable one. lol.)

Also. What was the secret he keeps, Fromsoft? Don’t tease me like this, I have an action/adventure canon-divergence longfic to write! You can’t do this to me Fromsoft!!!

Loreminers please please please k;sdjfkadsfjs

(Or maybe don’t. I’m too deep into drafting Still Waters. If my characterization gets majorly canonballed, I think I'd rather just quit lmao) Also, Also.  On first listening, that “I’ll try anything once!” line fucking sent me for some reason, I was not expecting that. 10/10 game of the year

Okay, okay. Now I’m done. To anyone who’s made it this far, have a dog gif? I don’t know how to end posts. 

[ashlingiswriting]

the nations favorite writer - offer us any advice? going through a writers block rn

oh god i’m so sorry this took me so long, things got crazy for a second and i forgot 😭 thoughts below!

here (1, 2) are a couple posts that seem pretty helpful, but now i’m just gonna talk about what helped me with my last bout of writer’s block because i can still remember it in detail

again this is all just my own observations about myself because that’s kinda all i have—i’m no expert

i had too many other things going on and i did need to cut down on other hobbies a bit (in this case, i had to cut down on rp) because those other things all were...relatively small tasks and they took less time, so my brain would often go “hey what about this short and rewarding task vs this long and intimidating task?”

which goes hand in hand with training your focus—i think my phone really does impact that in a bad way. reading books helps with training focus, as does muscling through. i know muscling through goes contrary to a lot of advice, but it helped me. because a lot of times, i would start writing a scene and go, ‘wow, i hate this!’ but knowing that i didn’t have another idea of what to do, i just kept going until i realized why it felt wrong. and there were like...four or five different breakthroughs like that when i was writing my latest chapter. just ‘OHHHHHHHHH’ moments that i got to only after writing like a thousand or more words that i would not end up putting in the fic. it is NOT always like this but if you’re really blocked, sometimes it’s just cause you’re writing a genuinely emotionally complicated and crucial bit and your brain has to go down the wrong path a few times before it figures out the right one

part of that is figuring out what you feel about your current scene? like, sitting down and writing a certain scene, i would go, ‘no, this feels wrong, i don’t like it, i hate it’ and sure enough my instincts were right. it WAS bad. it was bad because it focused too much on the logistics and details of a side plot when i didn’t want to waste all that precious real estate and audience attention on something that was not connected to the core of my story. but i didn’t fully realize that till i was done. it was still good that i’d written out the long version, because it laid out all the information i needed (plus a bunch i didn’t, but still). idk. i love editing more than writing on a blank page. i love cutting more than i love creating. this may be a me thing.

could also be something went wrong earlier on, like your actual scene idea is quite good but you didn’t lay enough emotional or plot foundation for it to hit as hard as you want it to? reread your previous bits of fic and see if you can find the problem there?

i think peer pressure and/or friendship are huge for this—i don’t mean peer pressure as in ‘silly anti-drug advertisements where all the cool kids try to make you do weed’ i mean ‘hanging out in a community of writers & artists and/or with friends where there’s an atmosphere of people lowkey always working on their craft, whatever that may be’. because truly i think it helps keep writing top of mind & sort of normalizes the emotional struggles. plus the camaraderie is really nice! 

my current home of choice is the narcos fandom discord (which is only about 25% about narcos fandom at this point lbr) but i know there’s a ton of different places out there to be a fic writer in community with other fic writers, so take your pick. i will say that not every community is perfect and i think the ideal community strikes a balance between participation & low stress—that is, people support each other but they don’t feel like they have homework-reading they have to do that they’ll get penalized for not doing? yk? i’m rambling whoops

plus, getting a friend that is willing and HAPPY to talk through the fic with you—an editor, a beta reader, something like that—is a godsend. truly without bellinitini/narcolini i would literally not have even published chapter one of my current longfic. but the key is to find someone who genuinely is interested or who is willing to do a bit of a swap; you help them with theirs, they help you with yours.

and then there’s the audience for longfics, which may or may not apply to you. cannot lie, rereading comments, even for previous fics that are unconnected, is extremely motivating! maybe that’s just me! (i don’t think that’s just me) on that note, if you’re feeling real desperate you can always reblog ask games about your WIPs so that you can interact with your audience a bit?

you could always try to take in more art—that’s usually pretty refreshing for me. canon review is great, but taking in other stuff (fictional books especially) can make your brain start thinking in different ways, especially if your brain is a bit spongy like mine and tends to absorb little bits of other writer��s styles if you chug a lot of them. you could try to find books that deal with the same setting, the same themes, or the same relationship dynamics.

so for example, i read colorless tsukuru tazaki and his years of pilgrimage by haruki murakami in prepping for my next chapter of richiefic because richie references it in season 2. and genuinely, reading it made me understand his character a bit better. but i also have a character going to prison, so i have read some of the works of george pelecanos (the novel drama city and several short stories), because pelecanos deals with the justice system in a way that i think is admirably clearsighted, not melodramatic, very honest. i’m fixing to reread some of the parade’s end series because ford madox ford is, to me, one of the greatest of all time when it comes to complicated conversations where two characters are completely legible to the audience—completely understandable—while struggling through emotionally complicated conversations with each other. and i am about to try and get some more books set in women’s prisons + books set in modern day chicago. reading stuff with the context of “i’m about to write something related to this” is such a good way to read stuff, too. just feels really good and sometimes you need a positive feeling when you’re struggling through the depths of depair i mean writer’s block.

movies and tv are good too, though imo they’re not as helpful. i...personally avoid reading other people’s fanfic like the plague if they’re dealing with a specific pairing whose longfic i’m struggling to finish.

just putting it down and coming back in two-three weeks sometimes helps. couldn’t tell you why.

and finally. you could always drop the fic. it feels shitty for a while, but if the muse has genuinely left you for good, you deserve to enjoy the freedom instead of just like...struggling onwards indefinitely. this has happened to me with longfics before and it always makes me sad. but sometimes there is genuinely nothing you can do, and in those cases, forgive yourself <3 this is a hobby, after all

my top three recommended tactics, without knowing details of your situation, are: talk with a friend/editor, take in more art, muscle through. in that order.

i hope that helped??? i’m very sorry about your writer’s block, it’s the worst thing in the world. and i’m sorry that it took me so long, i need to be more organized

[age-of-moonknight]

Do you know comics where moon knight team up with strange? Or deadpool?

Or where he interact with magic marvel characters?

Oh, for sure! Moon Knight has teamed up with Doctor Strange a couple times, as well as with Doctor Voodoo and Clea. There's also the Damnation event which involved a whole slew of magic users and magic-adjacent characters, including Doctor Strange, Doctor Voodoo, and Wong. The event itself, however, is,,,,unfortunately (fair warning, the following is largely just my opinion) not the greatest in its portrayal of MK. It tends to use Mr. Knight as the comedic relief and the "comedy" boils down to "ohohoheehee I'm so unstable and can someone please recommend me a psychiatrist," which can be...abrasive if you're feeling charitable and I've seen others who were feeling decidedly less charitable describe it as a little offensive. Which is a shame, because at least in my eyes, the event has a great line up and could have been even better. I'll throw in the citations though for anyone who wants to check it out and form their own opinions.

MK's relationship with Deadpool is uuuuh unfortunately a bit more rocky. Moon Knight's goals rarely line up with Deadpool's in the 616 Universe, so MK doesn't "team up" with Wade so much as, as I said in this post (and I quote myself not to self-aggrandize, but because, well, I'm not particularly creative in my metaphors), use Wade like one of "those stress-relief squeeze toys." Moon Knight was greatly intrigued when he discovered Wade can't die and consequently uses that to his advantage. Outside of the 616 continuity, Mr. Knight is much more sympathetic to Wade in Deadpool Kills the Marvel Universe Again, but gosh, I never feel great recommending that series without some degree of forewarning. While I genuinely enjoyed some moments, as you can probably guess from the title,,,,it has such a terribly sad ending that still kind of haunts me tbh. But I'll include that just in case you're curious! All of the associated citations are beneath the cut as this was starting to get a bit long (whoops mea culpa)

Doctor Strange

Moon Knight (Vol. 1/1980), #36: A classic two hero team-up

Marc Spector: Moon Knight (vol. 1/1989), #44 and #46: Strange was pivotal in I guess what could be considered exorcising a demon out of Moon Knight

“The Empty Tomb,” Moon Knight: Black, White & Blood (Vol. 1/2022), #2: I'm not entirely sure if this is 616-compliant (and I kind of hope it isn't personally), but this is another case of Marc approaching Stephen for medical/mystical advice The following are instances I found of MK and Strange being on a larger team together but their interactions are comparatively minimal

Marvel Knights (Vol. 1/2000), #8

Original Sin (Vol. 1/2014), #4

Punisher (Vol. 13/2022), #9-12

(Special Note) The Avengers (Vol. 8/2018), #33: the infamous time Marc punched out Strange and stole the Eye of Agamotto, which Marc mentions he wishes he could properly apologize for in Death of Doctor Strange: Spider-Man (Vol. 1/2022), #1 and is pointedly brought up by Wong in Moon Knight (Vol. 9/2021), #9 (the Damnation event is also alluded to in that latter issue) Deadpool

Vengeance of the Moon Knight (Vol. 1/2009), #7-8: Their only major interaction, as far as I'm aware, but it's not a team-up unfortunately (mainly they just beat each other up)

Deadpool (Vol. 4/2008), #28-9: Some collaborative work together, but the most interaction they have is when Moon Knight needs very little prompting to snap Deadpool's neck (unfortunate all around)

Deadpool (vol. 4/2008), #49.1: the previous incident gets a one-page musical reprise (this is Deadpool we're talking about, so you know I'm not kidding hahaha)

Deadpool: Assassin (Vol. 1/2018), #4: They do manage to have a comparatively amicable one-panel interaction here though...

“So White. Yet, So Dark,” Moon Knight: Black, White & Blood (Vol. 1/2022), #1: ...but not amicable enough that Marc will lend Wade the Mr. Knight suit the next time they see each other

Deadpool Kills the Marvel Universe Again (Vol. 1/2017) #1-3

Doctor Voodoo

Moon Knight (Vol. 1/1980), #21: Classic team-up

Marc Spector: Moon Knight (vol. 1/1989), #6-7: Classic team-up

Black Panther (Vol. 3/1998), #20-22: Collaborated on a team together

Clea

Strange (Vol. 3/2022), #5: An absolute delight of a classic team-up

Doctor Strange (Vol. 6/2023), #2: Mr. Knight calls her and Stephen in on a case

Bonus: according to Strange (Vol. 3/2022), #9, after working together, Clea thinks Moon Knight is a "dear," much to Stephen's consternation.

Moon Knight did work with the Strange Academy kids in Strange Academy: Moon Knight (Vol. 1/2023), #1, but that ends on a bit of a cliffhanger (for MK at least) that never did quite get resolved, unless I missed something entirely.

The issues Moon Knight appears in for the Damnation event are as follows, in chronological order:

Doctor Strange: Damnation (Vol. 1/2018), #1-2

Ben Reilly: Scarlet Spider (Vol. 1/2017), #15

Doctor Strange (Vol. 4/2015), #387

Doctor Strange: Damnation (Vol. 1/2018), #3

Ben Reilly: Scarlet Spider (Vol. 1/2017), #16-17

Doctor Strange: Damnation (Vol. 1/2018), #4

And with that, I'll leave you with something that could have been and something I will never miss a chance to bring up: Greg Smallwood's Midnight Sons (I WEEP for roads not taken, let me tell you)

I hope there's something in here that is of interest to you! Happy reading!

[scarskelly]

To be Expected - David Finlay Op-ed

I'm not too sure what to call this: a Op-ed, intelligent rant, infodump, sort of an Essay, retrospective?

I'm not going to make this intro too long but basically: I have written a thing on David Finlay inspired by rambles on a discord server and the recent developments with him and Jay and Bullet Club. I have liked David for a while now and I have a lot of thoughts on his character arc and possible reasoning as to why he did what he did.

If that sounds interesting but you don't have time to read 1400 words on that, here's a quick summary.

TL;DR: David Finlay's character arc in NJPW involved him trying to deal with the two chips on his shoulder: his heritage and his temper. He went from 'desperate to be different' to 'able to coexist healthily' before regressing into what we see now. I also talk about what led to this regression and all of the factors involved (continual failure, words hurt Ospreay). I discuss David's relationship with Jay and how his finale in Japan was the last straw for David, leading him to attack at Battle in the Valley.

Look under the cut for the whole thing!

First things first: David Finlay did not start out in NJPW as a Young Lion. He actually came into the promotion as an already fully trained wrestler, having been trained by his father Fit. He gave up all of that knowledge and started again after a match against Jushin Thunder Liger who Fit had wrestled in New Japan back in '91.

David's heritage is something that has bothered him for years. Especially during his young lion and early post-graduation days, it was the big chip on his shoulder. Of course there was the element of everyone already having pre-conceptions and expectations of you but that wasn't the problem for David. His main problem was that he couldn't just be 'David', commentary would always mention (both English and Japanese) his father, grandfather, great-grandfather before him. So, when David graduated he tried to make himself as distinct as possible.

How did he do this without dropping the Finlay name?

He didn't wrestle like Fit (specifically the brawler part which we'll get to) and aesthetically he kept himself separate through different gear, hair, facial hair and even the inclusion of eyeliner for a short period of time.

The other chip on his shoulder was related to his heritage: his temper. Finlay's are quick to anger and like to brawl, Fit's nickname was literally the Belfast Bruiser. However as a young lion and later a babyface hanging out with Taguchi, you cannot be a bruiser. So, David wasn't and that was another thing he had to tussle with.

Over the years, David did make progress in these areas.

When it came to his heritage there is of course the Shillelagh but an item that he introduced earlier was the spiked leather jacket. His first one from 2018 he has passed onto Brogan (his younger brother) and he's had versions of a spiked leather jacket since then. This style of jacket being a reference to something that Fit wore during his WCW run. Speaking of Brogan, you could see his increased interaction with his brother including on some NJoA shows as a acceptance of the Finlay dynasty (even if that included Brogan getting squished by Jonah, whoops).

So what about his temper? well for this I have 2 matches to compare.

Jay White vs David Finlay, Road to the New Beginning, 5th of Feb 2018, US Championship match.

We will focus on David's relationship with Jay later but for now I want to look at the end of this match. David snaps, Jay's treatment of him from reappearance as the Switchblade until now takes its toll. While Jay is downed David grabs a chair from under the ring, bringing it in even in the presence of Red Shoes. He very nearly almost hits Jay over the head with it but ends up stopping himself. This gives Jay the opportunity to win the match.

2. Juice Robinson vs David Finlay, G1 Climax 32, 26th of Jul 2022.

In this match David is certainly much more willing to be violent and less concerned about being a pure babyface but only because of Juice's provocation. Juice starts it by targeting David's shoulder and he's the one who tries to hit David with the US title first. David even breaks his pin on Juice after hitting him with the Shillelagh to actually hit a move before picking up the win.

I like this comparison because both of these matches are ones where David is facing someone who was once very close to him shortly after they turned heel. Both times Jay and Juice try to convince David not to follow through on his violence (Jay just looks at him, possibly saying something, Juice verbally begs him).

We can see how David has grown and progressed, accepting his heritage and his short fuse as just who he is and even managing to use them to his advantage. 2022 was a good year for David. He had a successful G1 debut and very nearly almost won in a US title match. But, after being around in NJPW since 2015, 'good' and 'very nearly' had become insufficient for David.

There are so many possibilities as to why David is like how he is now. I wouldn't be surprised if it is all of them coming together to finally break the guy. Maybe the things Ospreay said to him during that press conference weighed on his mind. His absent father, his championship wins being dictated by other people and in turn the absence in actual singles glory to his name. Maybe those big wins he experienced in the G1 started an addiction for David, and with his loss to Ospreay came a desperation to experience that big win feeling again. Maybe David came to the realisation after the Ospreay match that he needed to change. This David Finlay was a loser and that would never change, so why stick with it?

Enter Jay White.

Quick Jay and David history lesson: David, Jay and Juice were in the same young lion class. They were a close knit trio but Jay and David were in particular quite close which is obvious enough from the various pictures, gifs and twitter exchanges floating around on this site. When Jay returned from excursion, both David and Juice mentioned that Jay never told them anything about his debut and attack on Tanahashi. Jay found David and Juice beneath him now, having gone off on excursion and now getting to face Tanahashi at Wrestle Kingdom. David and Juice didn't even get excursions.

David has an unfortunate trend associated with him which is 'his best friend indirectly turns heel on him by attacking Tanahashi' as Juice also did the same as Jay last year. This certainly left David with a bad taste in his mouth, he was so insignificant to these two, two of the guys he was closest in NJPW with, that they won't even directly turn heel on him? What does that say about him? or the friendships he's tried to create with fellow members of Hontai and other face groups?

Whenever he saw fit, Jay would bully David. He would lord his sheer number of wins against David over him (even when most of them were from the young lion days). When David finally did get a win over Jay he made it sound like the world was ending ("I just lost to David Finlay? Is this real right now?"). Even in Impact, Jay busied himself with continuing to bully David. Jay was also very likely the one who convinced Juice to dump David and join the Bullet Club.

In short: Jay was an annoying dickhead who nobody outside of the Bullet Club liked.

Then after losing the IWGP Championship in a situation where all of the odds were against him, Jay finds a scapegoat in Hikuleo. He lashes out and seriously threatens the career of an up and coming star in New Japan basically because the guy embarrassed him. He in turn also sabotages his own career because he's stopped caring about wrestling in Japan as he's done everything there is to do. He doesn't care about the fans or his fellow wrestlers including his own faction mates who would be leaderless. He loses and...everyone forgets everything that Jay did up to that point? Hikuleo doesn't care, Tanahashi doesn't care, the crowd doesn't care, Gedo doesn't even care.

Imagine how David felt watching this go down. Hoping to see the man he once could call a best friend who became a dastardly person, made David's life a living hell for years and stole his best friend get his just deserts. But instead he's allowed to leave unscathed and everyone is all of a sudden going to miss him so much?

Whether David was contacted by Gedo beforehand or not, he witnesses the same thing happen at Battle in the Valley and does not let Jay get his moment in the sun.

Now we're at present day. David has regressed when it comes to the relationship with his heritage, having said that all of the generations before him were losers and now he will be the Finlay to make this dynasty something to be proud of. As mentioned after attacking Jay, David has never felt truly at home anywhere and I believe he partially blames his father for that one. He's accepted his short temper and penchant for violence completely and utterly. Now he's very quick to anger in many situations not yet seen before (lashing out at fans and their signs, young lion attacks and hostile tags).

As David begins to become a more important character in New Japan, I think it is important to look back on his arc in this promotion so far as to understand what is happening now and what may happen in the future. I hope this was helpful for someone out there, or at least was an interesting read!

Thank you coming to my TED Talk.

[mmorpg-escapism]

Oh god I'm not ready for this next set of scenes T_T I know exactly what's coming and I am NOT ready. Here's another Big Post with a cut in it :)

...wait, Vauthry's still talking. He's not quite dead yet, so we get to endure a minute or two of him ranting before he finally croaks and we absorb all that Light... The WoL is gonna burst soon. But we brought night back to Kholusia! Woo!

And now for an Echo. Vauthry's origin story! To make a long cutscene short, his father was Eulmore's former mayor, ousted, and Emet-Selch plays on his desire for power to get him to do a terrible, terrible thing to his unborn child: merge it with a Lightwarden.

Whoops we're out of the vision and Not Handling the light very well. Urianger's plan is... to do nothing. Hello, Exarch. ...how did you get here so fast? Oh, and it's not nighttime anymore, the Light's back.

God the voice acting is so good. I've said this a lot, but like. You can hear the Exarch's *acting* through it. He hates how much this whole plan has hurt the WoL, and through gritted teeth he is playing the villain to make his own intentional sacrifice more palatable to everyone present. Not that everyone is buying it.

And now the charade is over, and of course it's Y'shtola who sees through it. Urianger comes clean by way of not denying any of it, and I'll be honest the spike of crystal growth moving up the Exarch's face looks an awful lot like a streak of tears right now.

The hood comes off, and behold! G'raha, but old! This is the point where, if you're paying close enough attention, you'd realize his acting waaaaay back at the beginning of ShB was top tier. Not that, I think, the WoL would necessarily believe it for the whole time. Not after the little 1-on-1 we had before the Talos grabbed Mt. Gulg.

We can choose to call him by his name, or stay silent. I always choose to say his name - if someone's going to even try to sacrifice themselves for us like that, it seems really cruel to not acknowledge them for it.

...who gave Emet a gun? Dammit. G'raha is down, and the plan has failed. Emet is disappointed in the WoL for not living up to his expectations and containing the Light, but he forgets that we're not doing this alone. Ryne helps keep it under control long enough for us to... well, to go beat him up. Especially after he steals G'raha away from us >:(

I love and hate the WoL POV during this scene, all whited out and blurry. It's fitting from a character and narrative standpoint, but damn if it doesn't feel like a flashbang even against the already-bright surroundings.

I think Emet-Selch has severely underestimated how much faith the Scions and WoL have in each other. They'll all fight tooth and nail to save each other and everyone else, and this time is no different.

We're waking up back in our room in the Crystarium, like it was all a bad dream... until we look outside to see a world engulfed in Light again. Ardbert fills the WoL in on everything that happened between passing out and waking up and it's... not great. But everyone is still trying to save the WoL, even Ardbert in his own way.

I knew we'd have an entire zone left at the end, but even now on my third time through this expansion I still hoped it would end some other way. That we could do it without needing any heroic self-sacrifices. But no, that's not the point. We succeeded the way we have so far because we had help, not because we did it alone.

[xxswagcorexx]

tumblr user xxswagcorexx why do you insist on hiding away half your analyses/ramblings in the tags of your posts speak ur truth!!! anyway talk mythology andor symbolism to me whats the significance behind red's cult eating honey? do either of them get any items of power mixed up sometimes but just go whoops and move on like its no big deal? what would an outsider pov on this mess look like "ah that pair of lunatic gods again" bc this is sooo funny to me to imagine

i am . scared of everyone (and plus i don't wanna make the post too long and tags let me ramble without worrying abt length/mention small things without feeling like i need to format it properly ^_^

and uh abt the honey thing. this is where u can see this is Really inspired by greek mythology but basically in greek mythology, honey was seen as food of the gods and would provide gods immortality and whatnot ^_^ anyways i was like "hmmmmmm reddoons core" but also it just really works well. aesthetically for him

(AND GET READY FOR A LONG RAMBLE UNDER THE CUT)

anyways on the topic of the honey thing, i tend to associate red with gold because 1) money and 2) red and gold are a really classic color combo that i love, so honey (sorta) resembling molten gold is just. really aesthetically pleasing to me

and also iirc red wanted to make the byzantine empire in earthbound season 2? and when i came across a video on how to make byzantine honey fritters by tasting history with max miller i was like "omg reddoons core"--and from the video it seems like honey was a bit of a special dessert? in 6:33 of the video, there's a poem about a monk complaining about how the abbots have it a lot better than the monks and they mention that the abbots had 2nd helping of honey fritters so yeah i think its safe to assume honey was a semi-special thing, even if it was common. so uh. yeah. money and reddoons. thumbs up

and for the longest time i have associated bees and honey by rina sawayama with. swagdoons in general and the entire song is about how much the singer loves money and partying even if they're broke as shit LMAO its such a good bop if you like pop i recommend it . anyways ya that just added to the aesthetic in general

(as u can tell most of it was based off of vibes and plus in biased because i like how. warm milk and honey taste and plus i really like the idea of milk being something nurturing and honey being something sweet that is representative of love bc ur being sweet and easing someone into something so. Yeah. just vibes but how i figure out vibes are so specific that its worth explaining i think <- loves romanticizing the mundane) (and there's a sick ass line from the end poem like that) (like "And the player was a new human, never alive before, made from nothing but milk and love. You are the player. The story. The program. The human. Made from nothing but milk and love." come ON that line fucks so hard how couldn't i love it)

anyways i think with all of that in mind, red's cult would eat honey as a sign of wealth and comfort/nurturing 4 those reasons ^_^ (i am so sorry for all of that for explaining that i just have lots of Reasons to why i feel something sometimes)

WILDLY OFF TOPIC but u also asked abt items of power getting mixed up, i think it would happen most during worship </3 i think they'd just go to each other and be like "REDDOONS one of your cult members sacrificed blood as a loyalty pact to their partner instead of WAR again. u want it" and red would either let ash keep it or take it so uh. insert them sharing their power with each other here even though their values are usually on increasing ur ego and being on top of the world (CONSIDERING THIS FANDOM LOVES THEMES OF LOYALTY IN A GAY GAY HOMOSEXUAL WAY) (SEE WHY I DDNT WANT THEM COMING FROM ANOTHER GOD OR MERGING INTO 1 GOD) (THE IMPLICATIONS ARENT GOOD)

anyways i think ash and red (as gods) and their cults are pretty well known (like how swagdoons r the 2nd most popular ls ship) but LORD if their myths got lost to time they'd be a nightmare to study via texts and scripts in the future. like i can imagine for the LONGEST time historians argue if they were gods that changed during the dark ages because red's name predates ash until they Finally find a myth involving them as 2 different characters and its settled that they're 2 separate gods even though they represent similar-ish things LOL anyways yeah i can imagine more myths of them being found and historians going ??? wtd were these gods <3 hope that answers ur questions anon! :D

[sanchoyoscribbles]

These were the absolute fastest redesigns of my LIFE after writing that long alien clothes meta. The old ones weren't THAT old but given tmmn's latest ep giving us a LOT more looks at alien fashion...I Went For It and just. gave the ladies more clothes. actively fighting the urge to redesign ALL of my alien ocs...

I renamed Chiffon to Shebakia given we now have a canon Chiffon haha... 😶 I think people would call her Sheb for short. She LOOKs like a Sheb (compliment.) I really didn't give THAT much info about them in the old post, so...you know what? More info about them under the cut. 👇

Two alien ladies, Shebakia and Eclaire! The art of them in their 20s was around 20 years (ish...?) before TM2 starts, so they'd be in their 40s while TM2 is happening.

Eclaire is a seamstress and has a somewhat abrasive, self-centered personality. She doesn't get along with a lot of people, and doesn't bother to try. Her quality of work speaks for itself, and she figures the only friend she REALLY needs is Shebakia.

Shebakia is her absolute best friend since they've known each other since they were children, and Eclaire feels possessive/protective towards her because Shebakia is a lot more quiet and gentle. (....There may or may not have been a one-sided love there. :))

Shebakia is soft-spoken, but not actually a total pushover. She works as a gardener and doesn't mind getting her hands dirty or doing 'rough' work. She just really enjoys being outside and working in nature! Her and Eclaire are opposites in that way, and Sheb finds it really funny that Eclaire keeps making her such nice clothes knowing she'll just end up getting them dirty. (Eclaire says she'll keep making clothes for Her Girl so she looks nice even if she's 'rolling around with the worms'. Sheb is about the only person Eclaire isn't outright rude to, but she does tease her lmao. Almost flirtily. Almost.)

...Shebakia ends up betrothed to someone else, and Eclaire, not being able to stand that but also not willing to outright confess her own feelings, inserts herself under the guise of being a live-in nanny/helper with the intention of sabotaging the relationship. (Of course, Sheba is thrilled because living with the two people she loves most sounds great, she'd love for her best friend to help raise her kid with her and her partner! Oh, yeah, Shebakia is pregnant now. Whoops. Much harder to sabotage a relationship with a kid underfoot...it COMPLICATES things, just a tad.)

...But Eclaire's help is very soon necessary because Shebakia gets really, really ill, something Eclaire decides the pregnancy made way worse/sped up because it took so much strain on an already ill Shebakia's body. Her health continues to decline, but she lives for roughly 7-8 years after before finally passing away, with Eclaire dedicating as MUCH time as possible to trying to care for her and going into depression over this herself.

Eclaire is devastated, but in the way that she's numb and doesn't want to live on this stupid world without Her Sheb. She knew it was coming. But that doesn't make it hurt less. She hangs around for maybe another 7 years, making some very poor choices trying to cope and feel normal before deciding, nope, she can't hang around here with Everything Making her Think Of The Girl She Was Never Technically With but In Love with, no one on this planet can fix anything, she's too stressed and wants none of the responsibility she has now. She needs a new start. So... she steals a small ship and decides to explore the stars.

Eclaire is now a space pirate. Eclaire now has a crew of various alien species. Eclaire has now successfully entirely missed the Uchushi invasion, and her people evacuating onto Queen's ship and heading to Earth.

Eclaire Does Not Know About Any Of That. Missed the plot entirely. But she DOES know about Earth, duh, all the aliens do. Their people originally came from there, all the mew business happened there.

...Maybe she'll pop back into the story for a quick visit.

Surely that'll be okay! Just a quick tourism pit stop!

:)

(by the way, it's hard to tell bc her pose and her arm covering it but Eclaire's younger design's sash has gold stripe in the middle ><;; aaand she cut her hair short for ease of styling, but also..doesn't it resemble Shebakia's...? :") )

ALSO!!! I went scrounging around my old deviantart and found the very very first draft of Eclaire (...maybe not actually the first? but the..one I could actually find amongst my messy dA account, lmao) from 2018!! still the same idea, just...impractical mesh spacesuit, for the sake of boob window...? and yowch at those boots 😭 originally orange-eyed tho. Changed that...

[crossingbaranduin]

Got a big project due tomorrow, so time to procrastinate in the best way I know how: headcanons! A TAJ one again — this time about Mike's powers!

Have been thinking about what the significant downside of each characters’ powers would be, since that’s slowly come up more in the show. Ty’s is obvious + canon already. I’d say Axl’s stays a bit less defined like his powers are overall (though I’d count the lack of control + ties to emotion as the downside). While I don’t vibe with the “Bragi communicates directly with Anders” headcanon out of some specific AUs, I do like the idea that the connection to words leads to constantly having too many thought streams all at once/effectively never having mental quiet. (I’ve also seen that tied to his usage of alcohol/drugs, as a way to somewhat keep it down, which would make a lot of sense imo.) But I haven’t seen a headcanon for Mike before, so I’d like to suggest: sensory overload/overstimulation!

(This got very, very detailed, so putting the rest under a read more! I have... a lot of thoughts.)

This idea is a loose exaggeration of the hunting skill in the show, with the upside being that in general, Ullr grants better senses to boost that. The downside, though, is that mortal vessels aren’t really built to take in that much sensory input, and without a good way to turn it off, it could get overwhelming very fast.

However, I don’t think Mike actually puts it together that it’s because of Ullr for a lot of reasons:

1) Mike is effectively flying blind with the whole powers thing. He’s the first one to manifest, with next to no guidance, and then is just basically trying to keep shit together. The connection just… doesn’t get made. Anders also doesn’t bring Bragi’s downsides up because 1) he and Mike aren’t close enough around that point to talk about it and 2) since Mike never mentioned there being downsides in that way, Anders also takes a while to put it together. (I also think he’d be less likely to openly admit it as a weakness for a lot of reasons, but that’s for another post!) By the time we get a Johnson with obvious downsides — Ty — his are so much more severe that it doesn’t occur that everyone technically has the same issue, Ty’s is just… a lot worse.

2) I like the headcanons that bring up how stifling powers as a vessel could have consequences later down the line. Mike cuts off his usage of Ullr fairly early, and with that, cutting his extra senses off also cuts off the flood of sensory input. Sure, it can leak through sometimes, but it’s no longer a consistent issue. When he does finally decide to use his powers actively again at the end of S1… oh boy, that’s gonna be one hell of a dam breaking. At first, there’s enough major life changes going on at that point to chalk it up to stress, but bottling up powers for the majority of fifteen years is gonna leave them very out of whack once they’re no longer suppressed.

3) Again with referencing other posts I should make: I have a long hc about how the first year or so of god powers is overwhelming mentally and tends to lead to a lot of rash behavior and all-around bad ideas while everything settles out. My personal TAJ timeline has Rob’s accident taking place about 3 months after Mike turns 21, so since Mike shoved everything down during that first year, that settling-in process got somewhat messed up. It attempts to fix itself once he actively starts using his powers again — aka unknowingly dumping him back where he left off. Combine the major life problems he goes through at the end of S1, Ullr’s powers in general — aka easily abusable for dumb shit, and that god-power-settling… and yeah, you get early-S2 Mike.

4) A good chunk of it can also be assigned to Mike just not wanting to admit things are wrong in general. Can’t have a problem if you don’t admit it, right?

Now, beyond that mountain of setup, I’d love to see a scene where it finally clicks that 1) yes, there are specific downsides to Ullr and 2) whoops, Mike needing some peace and quiet from everyone’s bullshit isn’t just because they’re a chaotic bunch, it’s because being at a 12/10 on all senses all the time can suck.

Fun details from that hypothetical scene from my Google Doc:

Mike eventually snaps about everyone and everything being too much at one of the group gatherings at the bar while it’s closed. Everyone’s actually been fairly calm and quiet that day, which is why it’s surprising. Mike can’t put it into words either, and the situation almost devolves into another usual bickering session until…

Anders puts it together first; personal headcanon is that his degree is a communications major/psych and literature minors, so that + Bragi equals General People Knowledge. Immediately puts his foot in his mouth by just blurting out “wait, are you overstimulated??” — which gets interpreted as him making a sex joke, to which Ty clarifies no, he’s being serious and is probably right, actually.

The subject gets dropped fairly quickly by Mike, who looks pretty uncomfortable with having this realization so far down the line, making the argument that it’s something they can’t fix just like with Ty’s downsides, so they should all drop it (on the threat of no more drinks). However, everyone keeps considering it privately afterwards, and Mike slowly ends up with some gifts showing up behind the bar. The next three bullet points are the gifts from each the brothers:

Anders: Pair of fancy active noise cancelling headphones. Showy, definitely not Mike’s style, but work too damn well for him to turn down. Doesn’t have a note attached, but it’s fairly obvious who they’re from, even if they don’t talk about it afterwards. Broke once due to an unfortunate accident with some god shenanigans but were mysteriously replaced rather quickly.

Ty: blackout curtains + a blackout eye mask with those cooling gel inserts. Attached with an offer to Hod-super-freeze them whenever. The latter isn't as convenient to use, since it'd definitely be the target of some ribbing (lighthearted, but enough for Mike to just proceed to refuse to use it), but Ty's ability to keep things chilled while he's around makes it a godsend (haha) sometimes. A good gift combo in general because the cycle of sensory overload + lack of sleep gets nasty fast.

Axl: combination gift from himself, Zeb, and Gaia. This is a while before weighted blankets are super commercially available, but he read about it online and wants to make one for Mike. Major problem: he has zero sewing skills. Zeb tries to help but equally has no skills. Gaia takes pity on them and helps them with the sewing (with a joke about how it’s better than sewing up stitches from one of their other bad plans, at least). One side is a fairly standard flannel pattern; the other is something referencing Ullr (casino cards and dice?) This is the only one directly delivered and not just left at the bar; the whole thing has "awkward but genuinely sweet Father's Day gift-giving" vibes.

Directly asking Mike if he’s overstimulated when he’s annoyed will only make it worse… but caving eventually to go take a bit and chill out is still better than sensory overload, so this group with zero boundaries will prod him anyways. There’s a lot of ribbing about if he doesn’t go chill out, they’ll actually go through with drinking the whole bar’s stock this time.

This ended up probably longer than the eventual fic itself, and with many other headcanons interspersed, but if you read this far, I hope you enjoyed it! Writing headcanons and scenarios for this show is just too much fun. (PS: apologies for any super dense text! Tumblr's formatting was not cooperating, RIP.)

[idontdrinkgatorade]

rowan hi hello

tell me more abt your ocs, im curious!!

I'M SO SORRY IT'S BEEN LIKE FOUR MONTHS

putting everything under the cut bc this will prob be long lmao

okie so just for context, the main story is set in a modern universe where magic is a thing (usually referred to as "magical energy"). there are certain people who can use magic, called Maj, and they live under the radar, with humans being unaware of the existence of Maj as a whole. Maj live normal lives alongside humans and have gone decades without being discovered. basic plot of the story is "whoops, they've been discovered now" and humanity scrambles to do something about it (responses ranging from "contain them! (or worse)" to "literally leave them alone they were fine before"). it results in two major responses -- a federal attempt to contain them, and the emergence of "maj-hunters," who are civilians that make their own personal effort to deal with the presence of maj

so my two main ocs, Acanthus Fischer and Sayako Yamaoka, are both Maj teenagers that get caught up in the whole ordeal. it's a wild ride for them.

also kinda need to explain Maj a bit. um they have the ability to manipulate magical energy, which can do things that are deemed physically impossible (levitation, teleportation, you get the gist). along with that, most Maj are born with additional supernatural abilities and features (abilities can be activated without using magical energy and features can be hidden if needed). there are various categories (inaccurately referred to as "species") of Maj depending on what abilities and features they have. Maj-ness and their species are passed down genetically (so if a Maj is a Siren, their children will be Sirens, unless the other parent is a different species, in which the child has a possibility of being the other species. hybrid species are rare)

also i'm a big sucker for heavy psychological horror, drama, and angst so those are VERY common within the story. there's some dark themes thrown in there but i won't really mention a whole lot of them

ok now to sayako and acanthus

sayako is japanese-american and lives with (or used to live with) her parents, her older sister hana, and her younger sister yuka. she (as well as the rest of her family) has speech-related abilities, notably persuasion, all-speak, and vocal distortion (and later hypnosis, but only for sayako). she's extremely outgoing and social and has a passion for chemistry. after The Reveal, however, she and her family is forced to flee their home. unfortunately, they all are eventually separated entirely by accident, and sayako is captured by a private maj-hunting organization and is kinda forced to do like tournament-style fighting until she's "recruited" by another maj-hunter, who takes her to a facility to train. train for what? to basically be a soldier/guard/whatever. during her time there, she meets other maj teens and befriends them, most notably a 13-year old boy named blue (real name is zach but that's a whole other thing), whom she is paired with (at this point, she is 15). she takes on a sort-of older sibling role when it comes to blue, being so protective of him that she even will attack their oppressors in defense of him despite the consequences. along with him, there's 3 other pairs that she works with (so 6 total) at her assignment (another pair joins them later). during her time there, she changes to be more cunning and calculated while also becoming more reckless. through mostly unplanned circumstances that totally were not her fault, she and the rest of her friends/coworkers/(their relationship is complicated) are able to escape the private facility and find a stable place to live.

acanthus is sayako's best friend prior to The Reveal (and post-Reveal, but that isn't until they reunite). his actual name is ronan, but he started going by acanthus when he was 12 (once he reaches 17, he'll begin using an additional name -- elya -- and any pronouns, but that point is toward the end of the story so i'm just sticking with acanthus and he/him pronouns right now). he's half arab (on his mother's side) and lives with his dad and younger sister roselynn. his abilities include increased healing, plant manipulation, and animal communication, but he's also really good at teleportation magic. he's somewhat cynical and anxiety-prone and also has an air of arrogance, which covers up his low self-esteem and persistent identity issues. sayako is his first real friend and they are practically inseparable before The Reveal. he, his dad, and roselynn all flee, but he and his dad don't have the most stable relationship, which later results in acanthus splitting off from them and traveling on his own until he is inevitably captured and contained by federal forces. he's initially extremely defiant, partially due to arrogance and partially due to spite. he has, like, no self-preservation instinct and has a habit of doing stupid things (i.e. attacking the guards) which, uh, doesn't end well. it escalates to the point where he has to be isolated (whoopsies!) and it's not fun. he doesn't get to escape unfortunately he just eventually gets into this weird position where the people keeping him are like 'umm this is fucked up actually' and he's given back some of his freedoms.

the story is kinda split into three major parts (plus a prologue and an epilogue) that go like this:

prologue - pre-Reveal life for sayako and acanthus

part 1 - post-Reveal -- life on streets, acanthus' capture & time, sayako's capture, training, & transfer

part 2 - acanthus transferred to isolation, sayako's group escapes

part 3 - sayako's group living on their own, acanthus' semi-release, reunion between sayako and acanthus

epilogue - acanthus and sayako's life afterwards (the end of the epilogue takes place during the beginning of another story that i'm writing)

here is a really shitty drawing of them that i did in like an hour just for this ask (sayako on left, acanthus on right) :D

might repost the art on a separate post lol so that people don’t have to open the read more just to see it