#whole kit and caboodle

[thecultofproductivity]

Heck yeah my dudes 11.5 hours remaining

[montereybayaquarium]

Anotter shellebration?!? We’re just getting this pawty started! 🎉 🦦 🎊

We recently recognized Kit the southern sea otter’s 14th birthday! She joined the Sea Otter Program as a rescued 5-week-old pup in January 2010. Kit officially achieved surrogate mom status in 2014 and has helped raise 10 wild, orphaned sea otter pups during her time at the Aquarium. 

As you can see, this feisty otter is always on the move. Whether she’s dragging enrichment items into the water or inspecting every inch of the exhibit, she always keeps our mammalogist team on their toes! 

We’re otterly thankful for Kit’s playful antics and for everything she’s done for the wild sea otter population.

Leave your birthday wishes for Kit below!

[polyamorousmood]

In the interest of being able to concisely describe complex relationships, we need a universal naming convention

In the interest of making everyone's life hell, we should base it on organic chemistry naming conventions.

[oh-katsuki]

AND THE CROWD GOES FUCKING CRAZY!!! IT GOES WILD THEY'RE FUCKIN BOUNCING OFF THE WALLS!!! THE WHOLE PLANET IS CHEERING!!!!

MISTER BITCH UNIVERSE!!!!!!!!!!!

[btheleaf]

Pema? A whole person? It’s more likely than you think.

[anundesirablechild]

best part about working on my rewrite for so long is that i forget about jokes until i read them again. the number of times i've been able to earnestly laugh at the line "not even just the balls, perona!" should probably be humiliating

[bizexuals]

y’all ever get misgendered so much that someone using the right pronouns still feels like misgendering

[cesium-sheep]

I Desire Spaghetti

[pseudowho]

Haitch house isn't fully unpacked, but it's close! This is the aftermath of all the preparation. The late nights decorating before we moved in. The preconceived aesthetics. The whole kit and caboodle.

In the two days since we have moved in, we've decorated and unpacked and prepped for Christmas...and now we breathe. Here are some peeks of the best current progress...

Thank you all for your messages and love throughout this busy time. It's been a fantastic balm for the stress.

Love,

-- Haitch xxx

[genderkoolaid]

Rating Yonic Words (Very Logical and Unbiased and Scientific and Impartial)

Vagina et al. - 2/10. Hard* "g" sound is awful. Its a chewy word. Would be better with a soft "g" like in the french vagin, but even thats like, 5/10. Also way overused to describe the whole set when its only the main hole, but its also the proper clinical word for said hole. "Vag" is slightly better but carries the sin of the father (hard "g"), and va-jay-jay is a solid 0. You just doubled the worst sound here. Its the yonic Cain.

*not actually hard, my brain is just too french, but i don't think this sound deserves to be called soft. it's a chewy g. forgive me for my lies

Vulva - 10/10. Love him. "V" sounds flow so nicely. You could sing this in an opera. Also actually refers to the whole kit n caboodle. May be a little clinical for some but we can change that. We can make it horny. You can help me make it horny. Betty Dodson would want you to help me make it horny.

Pussy - 7/10. Gets some points for being a classic, and its decent sounding. But the "s" sounds aren't the best, especially alongside the "p" sound. Its just a little too harsh and kind of juvenile. Good for a laff.

Punani et al. - 2 to 7/10. Gets cool points for being a descendant of the Akan language through Jamaican creole. Gets a range of points because I'm grouping poontang (bad word to say and hear) in with punani (a clear 7)

Labia - 10/10. Vulva's lovely twin. Another word you could sing. The "b" sound isn't offputting- it flows nicely between the elegant "L" and "ia." Again, a bit clinical, but so good to say. Labia (the word and the body part) deserve more love.

Fanny - 0/10. Pussy's worse sounding cousin. Replacing the "s" sounds with "n" removes the flow of pussy, which makes this the yonic-linguistic equivalent of going down a dry waterslide.

Cunt - 10/10. Its like a punch in a good way. Not too harsh, but makes its point clearly; a well-rounded sound. Can be comedic and horny but its not too unserious. Good mouthfeel. I'm a big cunt fan. Can also be an insult, but such is the way of sex organs. Such a versatile word.

Coochie - 4/10. Sorry to the coochie lovers out there but my god? The "ch" sound? Awful to hear. Get that out of my genitalia. Gets points for comedic use, which I respect.

Twat - 2/10. Sounds like the sound made when Batman decks some guy in the face. The "t" sounds here are just unpleasant, and when combined with "æ" it gets worse. Sorry Brits & co. </3

Clitoris / Clit - 9/10. Important organ we all know and love. Both long & short versions sound good, although I think it could be smoother. Way better clinical term than vagina, but I wish we had wider options for him.

Snatch - 3/10. I'm not a fan of the sounds at play here (once again, get "ch" out of here), but I find this word really funny. I cannot imagine this being used hornily. It sounds like the name of a delightful cryptid.

Quim - 4/10. What are you, from the 1700s? I think it sounds alright, the "q" isn't abrasive, but unless you are writing historical fiction it just doesn't sound right.

Any and All Metaphorical Words - 1/10. Never work outside of extremely horny contexts or jokes. Gets one point for extremely horny contexts and jokes.

[grxmreaperx]

ive been stuck in the airport for 8 hours and awake for 29 hours so i have deleriously begun thinking of domestic Mark Hoffman on a vacation.

To me he definitley screams airport dad, he’s holding everyones passports and boarding passes, he’s weighing everyones bags , quadruple checking everyone has everything they need and the whole kit and caboodle. but on the flip side the second yall are actually in the plane in the air he becomes normal cocky Mark Hoffman again, whispering in your ear about joining the mile high club and honestly probably doing it lolllll ,, his hand permanently gripping your thigh or having you sleep on his shoulder

anyway thats the end of my delusional rambles about my fav psycho bastard <33

ok this is so fucking funny and i haven't been able to stop thinking about it since this hit my inbox so have some headcanons (might make this into a full goofy fic at some point we'll see)

first off, i hope you get some sleep soon!!

domestic Hoffman has me WEAK

he gets so stressed

"did you pack this?" "did you pack this?" "did you pack this?"

"for FUCKS sake Mark why don't you just pack?"

has to be at the airport like 8 hours early

wears the most outrageous Hawaiian shirts he can find

i have a headcanon that he dresses fairly darker on his days off (probably old band tshirts type of look) but on vacation this man would look like a stereotypical tourist

i'm just imagining you and Mark going on a vacation with all of the other apprentices (and Adam because i said so)

he's considered putting one of those kiddie leases on Adam because he always wanders off

the only person he doesn't yell at for walking too slow is John

he and Amanda are fighting because she tried to bring a knife through the metal detectors and now you're all stopped by security and he's worried you're going to miss your flight (it's four hours away)

the only people he doesn't get annoyed with are you and Lawrence (who he has put in charge of Adam)

"Amanda did you pack sunscreen for John? I don't want to listen to either of you complain if he gets burnt"

"babe i'm gonna kill them, someone is not making it on that plane."

he's internally screaming when Amanda and Adam start playing monkey in the middle with his wallet cause they're bored

"John control your children for fuck's sake"

"Lawrence would you control your boy toy my GOD"

you, John, and Lawrence are just sitting, patiently waiting to board the plane and watching Mark die a little inside

definitely said he would "turn this car around" at least once when you were on your way to the airport

once you're on the plane (and you've made sure he's not sitting next to Amanda or Adam) he's back to normal

absolutely makes a joke about you two joining the mile high club

(and you probably do if we're being honest)

will not stop whispering things in your ear just to entertain himself

Adam makes fun of you later after he saw you both sneaking out of the bathroom

you try and convince him to sleep on the plane ride but he refuses

it starts all over again once the plane lands

"babe someone is not going to make it to the hotel why didn't we just come by ourselves"

tag list: @bee-who-isnt-french, @enigmatic-blues, @kujofam, @aliengutzstuff, @mysunfishpeedinmyroom, @slut4hoffman, @schrodingersjigsaw, @hoffmansnightmare, @karmaswitch, @mrs-hotforhoffman, @returntodustsblog, @capan-deveraux2, @switchbabeeexo, @librababe99, @honimello

[theborzoiarebackintown]

My bff had work obligations and asked me to travel with Varus (the puppy’s dad) and take care of him in PA for the Borzoi Club of Delaware Valley’s speciality. He won the whole kit and caboodle, defeating almost 60 other borzoi of quality!

I love this man and am very grateful to be part of his little family ❤️❤️ it was wonderful to get to see him earn such a significant win!

[callofdudes]

CW: Vomit, bodily fluids, angst, poisoning, zombies, dead bodies, the whole kit and caboodle. Not beta read. Made this while in the car. I was gonna make it worse.

It's hard to get dirt out from under your fingernails, it's even worse when it's stuck on your tongue. Seeping into your tastebuds like mold and infesting the back of your jaw. When you swallow every instinct within you tells you to throw up, and so you do.

He digs his blunt nails into the dirt again. His head is spinning, his vision unfocused and his eyes and bloodshot from the teargas that he'd been surrounded by. His lungs struggled to function, the sting in the air carried the scent of death, rot, and his own vomit.

Kyle shifted sideways, bile stung his throat and he could smell it coming before anything else. It rose in his throat, stinging the walls of his muscles and he retched onto the ground.

He'd heard Ghost's horror stories about how the dirt stains, and the chemicals burn, but two at once, both on his tongue, unable to see, only guided by the smell...

God, he wished he didn't laugh at those crude descriptions Ghost always gave around a table of grinning idiots, including himself.

He planted his palms against the ground, finding stone within the blurry canvas of dirt and grass.

"Captain-" he retched, vomit pouring between the cracks of the stonework and onto his jeans.

He continued to try and blink away the pain in his pupils, the sting that made his vision slow and body tremble with flashes of clashing temperatures.

"Sir-!" He tried to call out, searching the ground for his gun, for a weapon of any kind. He wasn't sure there was danger, but he'd been taught to find a weapon. Find something sharper than his tongue. His father always told him that his tongue couldn't defend him forever.

"Fuck-" The back of his jaw went fuzzy, like a connection between his brain and his stomach cut out, only to kick back in when it hurt.

His chest heaves, forcing his legs to draw up under him, knees pushing to his chest, struggling up onto the soles of his boots. He doesn't wipe the dirt from his hand when he drags it down his face in an attempt to clear his pupils.

He shuffled forward, breathing heavy, and trying to listen to the world around him. He blinked away some of the pain, fresh tears stinging across his tear ducts and spilling down his cheeks. The blurry image of black and white comes into focus enough that he can make out shapes in front of him.

He forces his legs forward, his head still spinning with each step. The world spins rapidly and it takes everything in him not to throw up again. Still he pursues forward along the cold ground beneath him.

"Captain..." He inhaled the cold air, the warmth tainting the air starting to clear out. "Captain..." He repeated again, hoping that Price would come to his aid.

His hands, bare of any weapons, search the air for any support or body nearby between the blurry delay of his spinning vision.

He shuffled forward, his next step blocked by something warm, and big. He gasped, tripping over the obstruction and hitting the ground, his palm cutting open on the rock. "Fuck-" He grimaced, shifting and pulling himself up onto his elbows.

He looked back at what he tripped on, and laying in the path was a body. Kyle tried to squint, his vision spacing out and making the object more unrecognizable.

He sat up onto his knees, sucking in more cool air to soothe his stomach, and moved over to the body. His hand hesitantly touched the leathery skin of the body, pushing their shoulder and getting a look at their face.

His heart filled with dread when he finally pieced together glimpses of the face.

"Suds?"

Soap's face barely looked recognizable, whether it be the fault of his own eyes or Soap's condition. The leather skin had gone grey, and his blue eyes were red and glazed over with milky white. As if mold had crept into his tear ducts and spread across the expanse of his face.

Kyle choked on throw up, managing to swallow it down, though it stung his insides. His hands shook, rigidly patting Soap's gear and getting back up.

"Captain!" He yelled, everything around him spinning and his heart pumping. If he could get back to Kate he could get some answers. Who or what poisoned them, and what was in that tear gas- fuck.

But he wasn't anywhere near Kate, as far as he knew he was on his own. Soap was dead, were Ghost and Price also gone?

He rubbed his face again, the smell of death filling his lungs again. He paused, listening to his surroundings, footsteps started in the distance. Fuck, what if it was one of the guys? Or, what if it wasn't.

The clouds overhead thickened and the gas traveling through the air clung to every tree, blade of grass and cracked temple of cobblestone. Kyle's footsteps scraped across the old stone, calling to John and Simon.

The shuffle of feet grew louder, and Kyle could make out a large, dark figure in front of him. The man's- he assumed it was a man- gait was like that of his lieutenant's.

"Ghost??" He called out, hopeful.

The familiar sound of bone snapping filled his ears, and the figure looked over at him. Kyle felt the oxygen in his lungs wither away.

He couldn't make him out fully, but Ghost was definitely watching him, and the expression made his skin crawl before he could see it.

"Lieutenant...?" Kyle put his hands up. "Blue."

Ghost's gait swung awkwardly, his knee bending and tilting him to the left a bit. His head hung awkwardly and the sound of blood gurgling out from a wound followed his steps.

"Ghost, talk to me." Kyle said warily, taking a step back, his hands slowly lowering as he did. "Where's Price?"

Something was wrong. And Kyle knew that.

His vision started to clear up as he stared down against Ghost.

His heart thunders, his feet turning and carrying him down the stone. Ghost made a disgusting noise, his heavy footsteps thudding in Kyle's ear, getting louder.

Kyle ran, as fast as he could he ran. His hands balled into fists, his lungs reaching for oxygen he didn't have, and he could hear Ghost coming up on him.

And then he tripped.

His heart froze when he fell, slamming to the ground, scraping his face against the ground. He trembled, breathing hard, looking over at where Soap's body still lay below him.

Ghost's shadow loomed over him, and Kyle went deathly still. He tried to hold his breath, brows twitching when Ghost got closer.

The lieutenant dug his heels into the ground, his bad leg scuffing the ground, and a hand planted in the ground. He kneeled over Kyle, his masked face leaning close enough that Kyle could feel Ghost's warm breath.

Kyle shook, doing his best trying not to move. Ghost sniffed him, warm breath fanning across Kyle's face and neck. The dirty, wet mask pressed against his nape, and then he stood up.

Ghost huffed, scuffing his feet and wandering over to Soap. He smelled him, breathing along his corpse, and then trudged off.

Kyle exhaled, blunt nails digging into the dirt. He was in the same position, his stomach was churning, his eyes stung, the visions around him clearing up. You can't get the taste of dirt off your tongue, and you can't get dirt out from under your fingers.

Kyle slowly pulled himself up, looking back at Ghost who wandered back to his spot. It was then he noticed Ghost had been standing over something. He squinted, blinking away the pain.

And his blood ran cold.

Ghost bent down over the body, retching and snarling as he dug into his meal again. Kyle shakily brought a hand to his nape, wiping away where Ghost's mask touched his neck. His fingerprints were stained in red.

[stawpny]

I’m bored and ao3 is kinda dry (atleast for the wttt ny tag)

so here are some NY ships I NEED to see more of 🙏

—

MassYork: ok, I used to be almost totally opposed to this, seeing them having more of a brotherly relationship but with history n stuff it’s kinda not possible. But anyway, probably my main ship for now, bc OHMYGOD “nobody can kill you but me”? GET OUT, GET MARRIED, PLEASE.

like if it’s Mass/Cali/York or Mass/Jersey/York I will eat it up.

no questions, it is already in my mouth. I am eating the fuck outta this.

GeoYork: in my mind they have a cute dynamic. I feel they would be best friends as younger colonies and then have a very complicated relationship until they finally get together. Slowburn kinda, also kinda they have been in relationships dozens of times but something always happens. and isn’t Georgia called the “Empire State of the South”? or am I just hearing things

peach + apple? cobbler + pie? idek but I love them

TexYork: guys pls. southern gentleman and city boy? literally perfect for each other. they would make fun of each other endlessly. accents, vocabulary, actions, plus so much more because they’re very different.

TX taking York to his ranch to meet bro’s cows??? yes please. I’d like to meet Betsy too .

^TexaCaliYork: also a fire ship (see what I did there?) like the ship above, but with the hipster in it aswell. Texas and Cal constantly bicker like children and York sorts it out like a teacher would.

NY: you hurt his feelin’s, go apologize.

TX, scoffing: fine, but don’t expect me to get along with him after.

(spoiler alert!! York forces them into a cuddle pile afterwards to get over there lifelong beef)

IlliYork: they’re enemies, they’re lovers, the whole kit-and-caboodle. they’d switch hats sometimes and hold each others hand when they’re in their cities. they’re idiots and the Midwest and the Northeast hate them for it. It’s kinda gross but in a good way.

they’d be the couple who like hold hands in public but not make a single move other than that to show that they love the other. absolutely no kissing in public, they would just sit there in silence with a death grip on the other’s hand. they would totally insult each other to the face and then say, “Love you, tho.”

FloYork: fun fact: they are absolutely insane together. They influence each other and constantly say stupid shit. Florida would force York outta his comfort zone from time to time but the inner extrovert masked by New York’s fake introvert personality will do it almost willingly. he puts up a “fight” but he would deadass do it bc he thinks this shit is hilarious.

NY would be a little like Florida even if they weren’t dating. like NYC is absolutely batshit so that would mean York would have to be a little too.

NY/CA/TX/FL/LA: little crazy, ik, but I remember reading fics abt these five (including gov, but I’m still questioning if he would be in here or not) and absolutely devouring them. spectacular ship. it’s like a little bit of everything, except the Midwest and the other western states, but almost everything. I would love to see more of them.

they would def fight over each other. (who got to hold hands with who, who got to sleep/cuddle with who, etc.)

—

I’m not forcing you to give into my opinions, but if u like these, I like you 😼

some of these hc’s are not entirely mine, some were influenced, tho most are from the rotting part of my brain

I hope u use these ships in the future or I might spontaneously combust

(spoiler alert 2!! I will still explode [out of love] if u write about them)

ily guys

[olive-schmolive]

"All my life, I've known how to angle to get everything I've ever wanted. Money, social standing, the whole kit and caboodle. See, that's how the Savage Mockingbird lives. Ever since I was a kid, it's how I've done things."

🐺 Yuri Leclerc from Fire Emblem Warriors: Three Hopes

🪡 Cosplay fully handmade by me

📸 @/allisonthephotographer on IG

Want to know how I made this? Check out my Instagram story highlights for the full build log!

[hero-israel]

I don't think pro-Palestinian people (well, the kind of pro-Palestinian people who think Hamas is justified) understand how, unless Hamas somehow manages to actually destroy the state of Israel (the IDF, the Knesset, the whole kit and caboodle), this is going to go so badly for Palestinian self-determination. We'll be lucky if large parts of Gaza won't be turned to glass, and the idea that Palestinians have the right to manage their own affairs without Israeli occupation won't be completely politically toxic for the next 50 years

Sadly yes to all of the above. They think the Jews can all be wiped out because it has happened so many times before, or that they can be French Algerian-ed into just packing up and leaving. They know a few things about history - they just don't grasp the significance of there being a wealthy, successful, very heavily-armed Jewish state in Eretz Yisrael. Nothing like that ever happened before! But they've had a lifetime to learn what it means and have failed to do so. They will now be taught.

My real-name social media feeds show only Jews posting about this at all, total silence otherwise. I guess that Harry Potter video game was just more important to the "punch a Nazi!" crowd. Well, fine. They don't get any input into how Jews defend themselves.