#whoever thought the flashing lights were a good idea i hope u step into a puddle and have wet socks all day

[saketoge]

NCT 2020 YOU’RE SO FAMOUS TO ME (A SERIES) ✧ 'MISFIT'

[svt13roses]

Put A Little Love On Me

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Words: 4.6k

Summary: He was always looking out for you, even since that night. It just took a particularly bad night at the club to realize it.

Pairing: S.Coups x Reader

T/w: mentions of alcohol, swearing

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A/n: It’s Seungcheol day!!! This was originally supposed to be finished up and posted back in July but life got in the way. I hope Seungcheol has a good birthday and knows how much we really appreciate how great of a leader he really is. He deserves all the love ;u;

     The weekend scenes were starting to blend together into a mirage of too loud music, too many flashing lights, and too many bodies of people. It was a Friday, again. The weeks seem to fly by until Friday night, and in those few precious hours out, time seems to go by too fast while also being too slow. You can remember ordering some fancy drink to start the night, and you remember the stranger next to you saying the next round of drinks were on him. Somewhere in this mess, one round became two, and like a moment of realization you were out on the dance floor, lost in your own world. You didn’t care though, you knew all eyes were on you at this moment. This was your show, and you were the star every weekend.

     You didn’t know who you were performing for, you could put on the air of self-confidence and say you were doing this for yourself because you knew how good you looked and you knew you could probably have anyone you wanted tonight to bring home. However, there was a seed of thought being planted in your mind every time you partied the Friday night away. Could this be a show to prove that you weren’t hurt by him anymore? That you moved on from the shambles of what you could barely call a relationship? In the heat of the moment, none of those thoughts crossed your mind. 

     You broke out of your trance when you felt something cold dribble down your left shoulder. You could feel the sticky-sugary liquid slowly travel down your arm and onto your fingertips, the sensation made your skin crawl in the worst way. You whipped your head around trying to find who could have spilled the drink, but there were too many bodies pressed against each other making it nearly impossible to see who did or did not have a drink. Taking a breath, you maneuvered through the sea of people trying to get to the bathroom. You somehow managed to get to your destination without too much trouble, though walking took more concentration than it really should have. You made your way over to the sinks and grabbed a paper towel. You looked at yourself in the mirror, and you could finally see the stain along your arm. 

     “What the hell kind of drink could this have been?” You mumbled to yourself, seeing how it left a long purple streak down your arm. You managed to wipe off the streak, but you could still feel the stain it left behind, the stickiness making itself known with every movement of your arm. “Maybe this is just a sign that I should go home.. fuck. Whoever that asshole was should have at least apologized. If this happens again I swear this heel is going straight-” Your rant was interrupted by a group of girls who definitely were not aware of where they were at the current moment. The blinding fluorescent lights, the loud bass from the music outside, and the shrill cry of the girls became too much. It felt like all your senses were being attacked yet you couldn’t feel anything. You willed yourself to take a step, with each step feeling like you were chained to bricks. You thought you heard one of the girls cry “oh my god is she ok?” before you were met with the cold tile of the bathroom floor. 

      Pain shot through your right ankle and your head began to spin. Taking in your surroundings, you could see the group of girls beginning to crowd around you. You became overwhelmed by the lights and the scent of overpowering perfume. 

     “Should we like, get the bartender?”

     “Oh my god no! He’s a bartender, what good can a bartender do?”

     “Well, I dunno! I haven’t had some chick drop to the floor before!”

     “You can’t just call her some chick! She’s literally right in front of us!”

     “Well you guys are the ones talking like she’s not in front of us. Maybe I should call a… what’s it called again? The truck! The thing with the lights!! Weeoo weeoo!”

     “Oh my god you’re literally so dumb! It’s called an ambulance!”

     “Yeah!! That!! Should we call for one of those?”

     “Don’t call an ambulance, please. I’ll be ok.” You croaked out, beginning to stand. You knew that you probably should have just waited and asked for help. You knew that what you’re doing in the first place is irrational and probably stupid on your part. Coming out alone on the weekend was never a good idea, yet you did it anyway. Your friends had warned you to just stay home for once, a night in was never a bad idea. Of course, you didn’t listen. You craved the temporary escape from reality, where time was a fleeting illusion. This world, you were the star and he didn’t matter. Your past doesn’t matter; the petty arguments, the words that left incurable wounds in your heart, the actions that can’t be undone. It’s all in the past, and you need to accept the past. But instead of accepting, you only seemed to be running. 

     Little things reminded you of him everywhere you went. Little, insignificant details that really shouldn’t be a reminder but you couldn’t help seek them out. His favorite color on you was yellow, so you stopped wearing yellow. He always stopped by a coffee shop near your workplace in the mornings because he knew he would run into you there, you avoided that route entirely. He drank a certain kind of bottled water, you went out of your way to drink anything except that brand. He had told you, when things were still ok, that you would never be able to escape him. At the time, you had giggled thinking it was an endearing gesture, but now you couldn’t help but think that he had put a curse on you that day. 

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     It was a typical Friday night for Seungcheol: he had come home and relaxed for a while, began watching Netflix, and then the itching started. It wasn’t a physical itch, but an intuition of sorts that something was wrong, or something bad was going to happen eventually. He checked the time on his phone: 10:32. I wonder.. Ugh there really is no escaping you huh? Seungcheol chuckled to himself, making his way off the couch to get dressed up for the night ahead of him. Dressing up on a Friday night to head out and socialize wasn’t an unordinary occasion. However, no matter how nice he looked or how much he indulged in the flirtatious games of strangers, he always left just as he arrived. Not a hair out of place, not a button undone, no trace of alcohol to be found. He was a man of routine, and as such he always found himself at the same place every Friday. Seungcheol was very similar to you in that aspect, he did not like change. If things were fine the way they were, why fix it? You both were stubborn and were blindsighted to the small details around you. Small details, however, can build up. As Seungcheol put on the jacket that he wore that night, he was reminded of what truly happens when the small things get ignored for too long.

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A few months ago

     Seungcheol knew he messed up, but he knew that you were in the wrong too. However, you were both too stubborn to admit it. Tonight was supposed to be a date night, a rare event as of late. Seungcheol had gotten the notification on his calendar, but absentmindedly disregarded it while helping Jihoon in his studio. You also had a reminder go off, but your boss had you stay late at work. You could have gotten home in a timely manner for dinner, but one of your friends at work had also stayed late. You both had gotten caught up in a conversation and before you knew it, you both made your way to a fast food place for dinner to catch up. 

     Seuncheol had tried to rush home as soon as he could, not caring if some work was left to be completed tomorrow. When he arrived, you were at the kitchen table eating the remnants of whatever food you hadn’t finished at the restaurant. 

     “What the hell is this y/n?” He tossed his jacket onto the chair across from you. “Tonight was supposed to be a night for us two, why are you eating now? If you got hungry and couldn’t have waited, you could’ve at least texted me.”

     “Oh shit.. I completely forgot. I’m sorry Cheol, maybe next week?” You finished off your fries and put everything in the bag, making your way to the trash. Seungcheol grabbed your arm as you passed. 

     “No, we can’t do next week. Remember how busy I’m gonna be? And you even told me that you’re going on a business trip with your boss and a few coworkers to a conference next weekend. Did that suddenly change?” His voice began to rise. “Look I feel terrible for not being able to make it tonight but you’re acting like it’s no big deal. Don’t you care at all? Cause right now it seems like it’s some small thing that can be made up!” His grip on your arm began to tighten. The fast food bag dropped to the ground, long forgotten. 

     “Cheol your grip- please let go.”

     “We have to talk now or we’re never going to talk! I haven’t heard from you in days and we fucking live together y/n!” You could feel tears brimming, but you couldn’t tell if it was his tone, his grip, or both. 

     “Ok well communication’s a two-way street, isn’t it?” You slapped his hand with your free hand, effectively freeing you from his hold. “And don’t grab onto me like I’m some inanimate object, that fucking hurt! You act like I’m the problem when it’s you! I tried to reach out but I was always met with silence or some stupid two-word answer. This date night that we both forgot about? It was my idea because I feel like I haven’t seen you in weeks. And guess what? I expected this to happen! Sure I got dinner but can I be the one to blame? You’re the one leaving me behind and coming back when you feel like it! I’m done being… whatever this is!” You screamed, tears falling freely. 

     “Oh don’t act like I’m the bad guy here. You’re not so saintly either when it comes to talking. I try to talk to you when I’m free but you’re always out with your friends-”

     “Because you’re not there for me!”

     “Let me finish. You got to talk without interruptions so now it’s my turn.” You huffed, crossing your arms. “Don’t act like that’s so hard to do. Or is it? Cause it seems like I can never get a word in these days! You knew I’ve been busy, and you knew I would be with Jihoon today so obviously things were going to go late. But honestly, at this point it seems like you would rather have me at work so you have an excuse to go out with your friends. Which, by the way, you never even update me on where you are so for all I know you could be hurt and I wouldn’t know-”

     “Of course you would know!”

     “How do you know that?” he shouted. “Do your friends even know my number? Hell, I don’t even know your friends! For all I know, you could be seeing someone behind my back and I wouldn’t even know! Maybe this ‘business conference’ is just a cover-up for some fancy trip between you and your boss, huh?”  You have never seen him so angry before, and the silence was the heaviest force you have ever felt.  Wiping your tears, you bit the inside of your cheek and let out a long sigh. 

     “I don’t even know what to say Cheol…” You whispered. “I thought you knew me better but I guess time apart can be a bitch. I won’t even question where those thoughts came from.” You chuckled bitterly and began to walk away.

     “Wait y/n no, that’s not what I meant-”

     “Clearly, Seungcheol, it is or else you wouldn’t have said it. When people are angry they say how they really feel. Guess I know now that my boyfriend thinks I’m some cheating whore or something.” You could feel yourself beginning to cry again. It didn’t help when he began to follow you, calling your name. You both ended up in your shared bedroom, you sitting down on the bed. He laid down and wrapped an arm around your waist, pulling you closer to him. He secured you firmly into his hold, and you buried your face into his chest, letting out all the sobs that had been building up for months. Every insult you had wanted to call him came out in whimpers as your body shook from how hard you cried. You could feel Seungcheol begin to run his fingers through your hair, trying to calm you down in some way.  The two of you laid in bed for what seemed like hours, the tension still thick. Finally, he croaked out something you couldn’t hear. 

      “What was that?” you mumbled into his chest.

     “This isn’t us. This isn’t our relationship”

     “I don’t think I understand, Cheol.” You looked up at him. He let out a deep breath and sat up, you following suit. He gently cupped your cheeks and began wiping away the stray tears with his thumbs. 

     “Y/n, we’re not who we used to be. We’re not some love-struck couple stuck in our honeymoon phase. We’re not happy.” He gently kissed your forehead. “I think we need to end this here y/n. I hate seeing you hurt, and knowing I’m the one who caused you that pain.”

     “No, I understand. I feel the same way actually.” You moved his hands from your cheeks and held them. “I think we were both too scared to admit it. I mean, we were each other’s first loves, right? We didn’t want to lose something that precious. Besides, neither of us like change all that much.” Seungcheol smiled sadly. “But, I think you’re right. Let’s end this here before we hurt each other even more. I’m sorry for not being as open as I should have. I’ve felt unhappy for so long that I’ve tried to fill that void with my friends. Obviously you saw through that, but I should have known better. You can read me like an open book.” You hugged him tightly as if holding him close would make him stay any longer. 

     You both spent your final night together wrapped up in each other’s arms, pretending everything was okay for just those moments. And in those moments where everything was peaceful, with you and the rest of the world asleep, he felt a spark of love he hadn’t felt since he first fell in love with you. 

     “I guess this is goodbye isn’t it, sweetheart?”

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     Seungcheol could feel the vibrations from the bass from outside the club. He probably shouldn’t be as familiar with this place as he is, but he justified his reasons for coming to himself. The breakup was just as hard for him as it was for you. However, he hadn’t expected you to be coping the same way as him: with copious amounts of alcohol. It was a complete coincidence that he saw you at this particular club a few weeks after he had moved out of the apartment. He had made sure to stay out of your way, not wanting to cause a possible scene. He couldn’t help but be curious as to who you were here with. When he had said he barely knew your friends, he wasn’t lying. As far as he could tell you were alone, lost in your own world on the dance floor. That first night, he stuck around a little longer than he planned, his eyes never leaving you. 

     He found himself in front of the same club the next week. He told himself that he had a really good time the previous week and wanted to come back, this time actually planning on getting drunk. However, his plans were ruined once he saw you at the bar. From where he was standing, he could see how uncomfortable you were. Seated next to you was a man who, in his opinion, was way too old to be in a club like this. He was sitting a little too close to his liking next to you, and you couldn’t seem to shake him off no matter how long you talked to him. Seungcheol took it upon himself to try and at least try and drive the man’s attention elsewhere. When the bartender came to take Seungcheol’s order, he asked the bartender to strike up a conversation with the older man. He may have also slid the bartender some extra tip money to make sure he actually got the man away from you. Ten minutes later, the bartender was still talking to the man and you had managed to slip away to the dance floor. 

     It became a habit for Seungcheol now, coming to the same club every Friday. Every time he would tell himself that it would be different, but each time he found himself looking out for you. If you seemed to have a little too much to drink that night, he would tip the bartender a little extra to make sure you got some water before going home for the night. If he noticed someone was making you uncomfortable at the bar, the bartender already knew to go and try to distract whoever was talking to you. Seuncheol was also there to see you walking out with whichever stranger you deemed fit to spend the night with. Is this really how they’re choosing to move on? He had asked himself on more than one occasion. He knew that you both had further discussed the end of the relationship, and had ended it on mutual terms. However, he couldn’t help but feel a little mad at himself every time he saw you leave with someone new. What did these people have that he didn’t? What weren’t you telling him while you two were still together?

     As time moved on and the weeks passed by, he slowly felt himself becoming comfortable with this routine. If he knew you were safe, he was happy. Jihoon had called him a creep multiple times for his behavior, and Seungcheol would retort right away “just because we’re not in love doesn’t mean I don’t still love them.” With this new routine, Seuncheol could feel himself slowly moving on from the past. Sure, it still stung, but now he finds comfort in the fact that for at least one night he knows you’ll be okay. Tonight, however, felt different. When he felt like something bad was going to happen, nine times out of ten something bad almost did happen. There have been multiple times where he’s had to save you from going home with someone who definitely had malicious intentions. He was hoping that tonight would not be one of those nights as he kept his eyes on you on the dance floor. Before he could stop it, he watched as someone accidentally spilled their drink on your arm. 

     “What the hell is wrong with people?” He muttered, making his way down the bar closer to the bathrooms, making sure you arrived safely. As time passed, he grew more and more worried. No one had left the bathroom you entered since he saw a group of girls go inside. Had he had some liquid courage coursing through his veins, he would have just barged into the bathroom by himself. Before he was about to ask the bartender if there was something he could possibly do, god knows the bartender knows him by now,  he saw the bathroom door swing open from the corner of his eye. He turned towards your direction, and he saw you shuffle across to the bar with a hand on your head and the gaggle of girls stumble behind you. He didn’t care at this point if you saw him, he couldn’t leave knowing something was wrong. Before you could catch the bartender’s attention, Cheol had called them over. 

      “Hey I know you’re probably tired of seeing my ass hanging around here every Friday night without even ordering anything, totally understandable. I need you to do a favor… again. That girl I’m always here for? I think something’s wrong. Give her a bag of ice for her head will you? And maybe call an ambulance if it seems bad enough?” He slid the bartender a few bills and made his way to the club’s entrance, texting Jihoon to come pick him up. Before exiting he took one last look towards the bar, and he saw you sitting on a stool with a paper towel and a bag of ice sitting gingerly on your head. With a sigh of relief, he made his way outside, the crisp air hitting his face. 

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     After a long and tiring battle of insisting that you did not, in fact, need an ambulance and that your head is fine, with a little help standing up and getting steady, you made your way out of the bathroom. Your head was pounding from the music, and you knew right away that you needed to sit down as your vision began to slightly blur. Somehow you ended up at a barstool safely, and waiting in front of you was a bag of ice and a paper towel. 

     “Excuse me, sir!” you called out, not knowing whether your hoarse voice would reach the bartender’s ears. Luckily enough, the bartender turned your direction and walked over. 

     “What can I do for you tonight, miss?”

     “Uhh this bag of ice was sitting here and I’m not sure if this was from someone previously sitting here or not.” You explained, carefully fiddling with the bad. The ice hadn’t melted yet so it couldn’t have been here long. Before you could question it any further, you heard the bartender let out a chuckle.

     “Ma’am that bag is definitely for you. Someone must be real worried about you, I’ll say that much.” You carefully put the bag of ice on top of where you hit your head. You flinched slightly at the sudden temperature difference between the cold ice cubes versus the hot and humid club. 

     “Someone knew what happened in the bathroom?”

     “What the hell happened in the bathroom? You know what, I don’t wanna know. You seem to be talking fine so you don’t need an ambulance.”

     “Ok wait how can you say I don’t need an ambulance but then not know what happened-”

     “Look”, the bartender looked you in the eyes, “I don’t know what happened. All I know is the same dude has been coming by my bar for a few weeks now every Friday night. He doesn’t buy anything though. He does, however, always seem to have his eye out for you. Not in the creepy way like I’ve seen in the past though.” You blinked a few times before fully comprehending what the bartender just told you. Someone was looking out for you? You didn’t know anyone who would do such a thing, since your friends didn’t always join you on weekends. Maybe you caught someone’s eye the first night you came here? You sighed, resting your open hand against your cheek. The bartender looked at your confused face and smiled to himself. “He just left when you were stumbling out here. You might be able to catch him, I know I would. He’s a handsome fella; captivating eyes, nice cheeks, pretty lips. He’s not my type, but maybe he’s yours?” The bartender began wiping out a few glasses, walking away. 

     “He definitely does…” you trailed off, a burst of realization hitting you. If it’s who I think it is I’m going to shit myself. No, it’s just some pretty guy looking out for you, stop this wishful thinking. You set down the bag of ice and wrapped the paper towel around it. “Thank you so much for the ice, and for looking out for me!” You called you, practically running towards the entrance of the club. 

     The outside air hit you harder than you expected, helping you sober up even more after having the ice on your head. You desperately looked left and right, looking for any sign of who could have been the person helping you. Your eyes caught sight of a familiar car slowing down, as if it was coming to pick someone up. That looks like Jihoon’s car if I’m remembering correctly. Granted, I only rode in it a handful of times. You looked at where the car was headed, and that’s when you caught sight of a very familiar person. 

     “No.. it can’t be..” you whispered to yourself. “Aw fuck it, what have I got to lose?” You walked a few steps towards him. With a deep breath, you called out as best as your voice would allow. “Seungcheol!” You felt something warm against your cheeks, and after quickly wiping whatever it was away, you realized you were crying. You sniffled and called out one last time. “Seungcheol!”

     He turned to look at you. You didn’t know what to expect, nothing had really changed about him since you last saw him except for his hair color. Your eyes met his, and you became just as mesmerized as you did in the past. You didn’t realize you were staring until you noticed him moving. Seungcheol slowly made his way over to you, shouting at you presumed whoever was driving the car that he would only take a minute. He stopped in front of you, and you looked up at him. Up close you could see the small details in his facial features that weren’t there previously. His eyes were still beautiful, but they weren’t as bright as you remembered. The lines under his eyes looked a little darker, and his lips were slightly chapped. You felt something warm being put around your shoulders. You looked down and it was his jacket that he was wearing previously. 

     “Cheol I-” You stuttered out as he gently grabbed your shoulders.

     “Hey, stay safe will you? Don’t worry me too much and get home alright.” He gently patted your head and began walking back to the car. You were well aware at this point of the tears freely falling down your cheeks. You couldn’t help but let out a sob as you saw him give you one last smile and a small wave as he got into the car. As the car began to drive off, you began wondering how long he had been looking out for you and why he never chose to approach you. You felt your phone vibrate from your pocket, and you pulled it out. You chuckled as you saw who the message was from. 

     “I’ll open it some day, Cheol. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but I will when I think we’re both ready” you mumbled to yourself, opening up your contacts to call your friend to come pick you up. Your friend picked up after two rings. “Hey, I know you told me not to but I went out again. Can you come get me? I.. I saw someone and I need to tell you about it.”

[writemywaytoyourheart]

One- Next

a/n: so like, here it is. tada~ I hope you guys like it! Sorry if it seems a bit rushed, I just really want to get to the present day so that we can meet hobi T-T but I did do my best! again, pls don’t let this flop 

pairing: idolau! Hoseok x female reader

genre: angst, fluff 

word count: 2,904

warnings for this chapter: language, cheating, non-consensual kiss, implied self-harm...I think that’s it

Trigger Warning: if u get triggered easily, pls read other stuff on my ML. It's in my bio!

Tag list: @melikeylikeyjimin @jannoda

if you want to be on the tag list, send an ask or dm me :) 

Daisies in the Dark Masterlist

Part Two: When Somebody Loves You

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The second you stepped through the threshold of what would be your new home; a breath you hadn’t even known you were holding released with a huge sigh. The apartment wasn’t big at all with a small kitchen, a tiny sitting space that had bookshelves about half full with what you assumed were Eui’s books, a small hallway turned off to the right where you figured the bedrooms and bathroom were, it was dimly lit with a small lamp on a coffee table. 

It was perfect. 

Eui stumbled into the apartment a second later and laughed breathlessly at your stunned face as she plunked one of your bags down, “like what you see? It isn’t much, but it is cozy.” You spun around over and over taking in every single inch that you could and holding in tears of joy before you turned back to your new friend, “it’s absolutely amazing, I love it so much, thank you.” The lingering nausea from your nerves was now gone completely, replaced by comfort at your surroundings. 

Eui smiled while nodding then patted you on the shoulder, “no need to thank me girlie, I know we’re gonna have an awesome time together! Let’s get you unpacked!”

To say you had an awesome time together would be an understatement. You were more of an introvert before coming to Korea because you never really had anyone to hang out with, always eating lunch alone and studying alone. Group projects were always the worst when everyone jumped to grab whoever they wanted to work with, constantly leaving you in an awkward position seeing as everyone had a partner but you. Things were different after you met Eui though, she took you out to the arcade and to food stands, slowly bringing you out of your comfort zone. At first it was just the two of you, then she introduced you to some other girls that you would be going to school with. 

The rest of the semester and through the summer was filled with giggling girl talks and romantic movie nights, stuffing yourselves with pizza and junk food. When school started again, you were nervous but knew you could handle it with Eui and your new friends to do it alongside you. Classes were hard but you continued to study and do your best, to thank your wonderful teacher who sent you here and prove that she hadn’t done it for nothing. 

About two months into the semester you felt Eui start to pull away a bit. It happened after she met a boy in college; you were studying one night when she burst into your room and jumped on the bed squealing. You shut your books and laughed at her excitement, “what’s going on?? Why are you so excited??” She took a deep exaggerated breath then proceeded to explain, “ok, you know Kim Yung-Kwon from mathematics that I’m totally in love with?” You nodded and she continued, “he started talking to me today and he literally ended up asking me out to coffee!!” Your eyes widened and you jumped up to join in her mini dance party, screaming and giggling over her crush liking her back. 

Needless to say, she accepted the date. After that day she spent a lot more time in her room on the phone with her new boyfriend, which you totally understood, so you gave her space. You two stopped your daily outings and only went out together once every few weeks. It was okay with you since you were busy with school and actually happened to find an internship at a company not too far from your place. 

You got the internship, and from there everything went to hell.

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6 months before the incident...

“Hello, my name is Y/L/N Y/N, I hope we work well together. Please take care of me!” You bowed to your new coworkers and they smiled, bowing in return. They were really nice people and your first day went smoothly. You were in charge of making copies, bringing coffee, scheduling meetings and taking notes for those who could not attend said meetings. It was pretty easy; especially since the girl training you made it easy to understand and she was super nice. 

After your shift you went to clock out, you were looking down to fix everything you were holding and ran right smack into someone’s hard chest. You looked up to apologize and stepped back in surprise when you saw who it was, “Kim Yung-Kwon?” You asked and he nodded while laughing, “Y/N?” You bowed and smiled laughing a bit yourself, “funny running into you! What brings you here?” He smiled back and picked up some of the papers you dropped after running into him. He handed them to you and answered your question, “I got an internship here. I’m guessing you did as well?” You nodded and he brightened then stepped to the side to let you walk past, “well I hope to see you around Y/N, I have to go, but you should join Eui and I on a day out sometime!” You smiled once more while passing by him, “that sounds fun! Let me know what you guys come up with. See you around!” You waved to each other then you walked away, a pit of dread in your stomach at the butterflies that were in you at your encounter. 

Kim Yung-Kwon was a very handsome young man, but he was definitely taken. You slapped yourself gently on the cheek to bring your mind back. Don’t you dare Y/N, don’t you dare! You chided yourself as you walked to the bus stop. Eui was your best friend and if there was one thing you wouldn’t do, it would be stealing a taken man. You stepped into your home and saw Eui lounging on the couch. Eui looked up from her phone and waved to you, asking happily, “how was your first day?? Yung-Kwon texted me and said he ran into you today!” You breathed a sigh of relief that she already knew and plopped yourself down next to her. You two spent the night talking and gossiping like the old days a few months ago. Like nothing had changed. 

Except that day, everything changed. Neither of you knew it yet though. 

Work and school were your norm those days. Day in and day out, studying and doing the internship. Yung-Kwon was always really sweet to you and you hung out with him and Eui a few times a week. You knew he liked Eui a lot and you knew you could keep your feelings in check, but you couldn’t shake the feeling that you were doing something wrong, the uneasy pit dwelling in your stomach made you miss out on a few outings with them. 

It was all saved however, by Lee Jin-Ho. A boy that would talk to you on a daily basis since your start of school. You always thought he was cute and sweet, and he was really easy to talk to. You were completely blind-sided though when he finally had the courage to ask you on a date. Your feelings for Yung-Kwon disappeared the more you went out with Jin-Ho. You never had a boyfriend in your entire life so the whole ordeal was foreign and a bit stressful for you. Jin-Ho was a complete sweetheart and totally infatuated with you, so he was patient and never pressured you into anything.

-

-

3 months before the incident...

One time about two months into your relationship, you two went to the arcade together. You walked in and smiled at the purple flashing lights, K-pop songs blasting and people laughing. Jin-Ho went immediately to a claw machine that had stuffed animals in it. “Which one do you want, Y/N?” You laughed and joined him, scanning the toys and pointing to a little stuffed bear, “I want that one!” He nodded and got right down to business. Never in your entire life have you had someone care so much about you, let alone like you. This whole thing was mesmerizing and you were so scared that it would shatter into a million pieces at any minute. It must be a dream, because good things don’t happen to you.

After a good twenty tries, Jin-Ho finally hollered in victory, holding up the tiny bear and presenting it to you with a smile. You weren’t thinking and went right in for a hug, it was the first time anything physical besides holding hands was initiated between you two. He froze for only a second before hugging you back just as tight. You’d never been happier, and you knew you never would be. You didn’t need anything else. 

Turns out you’d never been more wrong in your life.

-

- 

2 months before the incident...

It was the party. You knew going to a party would be a terrible idea, but Jin-Ho knew the person throwing it and told you that the people there weren’t the reckless drunk type you always heard about. You two walked in and you could smell the alcohol already, flashbacks from your past started to swarm your mind until you felt his arm around your waist protectively. Jin-Ho whispered into your ear, “it’s okay baby. I got you.” His pet name for you sent a chill down your spine and you nodded. Your boyfriend kissed the top of your head and led you to a couch, “I’m going to get us some drinks, stay here and don’t worry.” You grabbed his hand and stuttered, “n-no alcohol, right?” He smiled and nodded, gave your hand a reassuring squeeze before disappearing into the crowd. 

That was the last time you saw your boyfriend that night. Now, Lee Jin-Ho you did see again, but this time he had a girl on his lap making out with her and running his hands all over her body. You had gone to search for him, and you found him. He happened to see you a second later. But unlike what you expected to happen, the boy you thought you loved didn’t look concerned or regretful. He never got up or pushed the girl away. He never called your name out to explain himself. Instead, he smirked at you before raising an eyebrow, as if to say, what? Watch all you want, before turning back to the girl and continuing what he started. Who knew that something so precious and dear could be ripped from you in a split second? 

You ran to the bathroom, shoving past people, some gave you pitiful looks and some laughed at you. You rushed to the toilet and threw up a few times, until nothing was left in your stomach. You were numb. A lot of running happened that night as you ran out of the party and all the way home. There were no questions asked when you burst into the apartment sobbing, your makeup running down your face. Eui gestured to you and held you in her arms, singing to you. Rocking you back and forth while you cried your heart out over your first relationship heartbreak. Eui whispered how much she loved you and how sorry she was. 

You took a few days off, saying you were sick. Which, technically you were throwing up. At just the thought of that man, you couldn’t help but rid your body of the little you ate that day. Your stomach wouldn’t stop turning for weeks. Eui came in however, after about a week. She pulled you out of bed and forced you to dress, eat and go out with her. You couldn’t explain how hard it was to do normal everyday tasks, especially when Jin-Ho was still in some of your classes.

 He never spoke to you again, would walk by you as if you were nothing more than-

a used tissue....

But, you wouldn’t let him continue to hurt you. So, you turned back to what you promised yourself you would never do again. You numbed the pain, and there was only one way that that always worked. Long sleeves would have to go back in fashion again, for you at least. If anyone could hurt you, it would be yourself.

“You’re fine, Y/N….You don’t need him anyways.”

-

-

1 month before the incident...

You continued to do the internship, the best part of the day was when you ate lunch with Yung-Kwon and Eui when she came to join you guys. Yung-Kwon never acted as if he pitied you, for which you were extremely grateful. It had been almost a year since you came to Korea, and a lot had happened. You just hoped that it would get brighter from there on out.

The final straw was that day. 

That one day you would forever wish you could turn back to and stop. Stop everything that was never supposed to happen....

-

-

1 week before the incident...

It was just another day at work, you were typing up a few emails while you rubbed your eyes in exhaustion. It was around lunchtime, but you still had a lot to do. You were sending your last email when you got a text from Yung-Kwon:

“On the roof?” You asked yourself in confusion, but then brushed it off. There were lunch tables on the roof and you three had wanted to try it out someday. You wished Eui would be coming, but you guessed she was busy. Your feelings for Yung-Kwon were strictly friendly those days. You had been able to talk sense into yourself and realize he was just a nice guy, and your heart hadn’t been used to nice guys. After seeing one it immediately wanted him. Now you knew better, and so did your heart. You packed up your stuff and got up to make your way to the roof. You walked up the stairs and pushed the door to the roof open. Yung-Kwon was standing at the balcony looking down into the street. Just then your phone pinged with a text from Eui. 

What was she talking about? Yung-Kwon said she was busy….You quickly typed a reply and smiled, Yung-Kwon would be happy that she could make it!

You frowned at the text in confusion but got distracted when you heard Yung-Kwon call your name, “Y/N! Come on, I got food already.” You walked over and sat down on one of the benches. Yung-Kwon sat right next to you, which confused you. You scooted a little away from him and started opening your sandwich that he bought for you. You decided to let Eui surprise him so you said nothing.

“Thanks for the lunch.”

“Of course Y/N.” 

He opened his sandwich then turned back to you, “uh, can I ask you something?” You nodded and went to take a bite of your food when his next words made you freeze, “are you in love with me?” You turned to him in shock, your eyes bugging out of your head and your mind screaming at you to just get up and leave. You stupidly stayed put, furrowing your brows and shaking your head, “what are you talking about Yung-Kwon? I am not in love with you, weirdo.” You laughed it off, thinking maybe he was pulling a prank on you. It wasn’t a very funny one though. 

You jumped when he grabbed your hand and you tried to pull away. He held on tight and looked into your eyes, “Y/N, you can be honest. I know you’re scared because of what Jin-Ho did to you. But, I would never hurt you. I- I think I’m in love with you.” You yanked your hand out of his and stood up, “you better shut up right now Yung-Kwon. I don’t know what you’re playing but it isn’t funny. You think I would turn right around and cheat with someone right after knowing what it’s like?! And to my best friend??” He stood up and walked towards you, forcing you to walk back until you couldn’t anymore because of the railing. 

“Don’t be ridiculous Y/N. Jin-Ho was an asshole, and we all know it. I’m in love with you and you’re in love with me so it’s different!” You stared at him in shocked silence before responding, “what the hell are you talking about?? We don’t love each other! You love Eui!!” He shook his head, “no I don’t! Ever since I found out you were interning here, that first day. Something changed for me. I knew you liked me then.” You flinched at his touch on your cheek and slapped his hand away, “don’t touch me!” At that moment, you saw the door to the roof open behind his shoulder and saw Eui slip through carrying a bag of food. 

You were about to shove him away from you and call out to her, when to your horror he grabbed your hands and pulled you to him. 

Maybe Eui would run to help you. 

Maybe Eui would understand and come save you.

Maybe Eui would know you.

But, don’t you remember, silly girl? Good things don’t happen to you. 

Yung-Kwon smashed his lips against yours at the exact second Eui waved, her eyes locking on the scene before her, her face blanching. She dropped the bag with a thunk. 

Yung-Kwon stole your first kiss…..and your best friend in the entire world went right along with it. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

a/n 2.0: ok...this gave me more grief than the first chapter lmao. if y’all don’t like this im giving up....JUST KIDDING IM GONNA MAKE A HOBI FIC IF IT DESTROYS ME . which it probably will. 

[luxurylives]

Day One – Winter | Winter Evening

Pairing: Aurora Emery x Duke Oakley

Book(s): Open Heart/Big Sky Country

Word Count: 2,046

Rating: T

Summary: After a brief encounter at Edenbrook, Aurora and Duke cross paths at a bar on a cold winter night in Boston.

Author’s Note: I wrote this for the Choices December Challenge (late submission). The idea came from a recent episode of The Young & the Restless—Billy (Jason Thompson) met Amanda (Mishael Morgan) at a bar and since then they’ve been seeing each other in secret. This takes place after Open Heart, Book 1 and after Big Sky Country, Book 2. Mohsenin is from Hollywood U. Pixelberry Studios owns the characters.

Tagging: @cora-nova @choicesdecemberchallenge​ @darley1101​ @choicesbyjade @lady-kato​ @silverofdreams​ @stillafictosexual @mfackenthal @brightpinkpeppercorn

Aurora Emery sat in the break room and poked her salad with her fork. The faint ticking of the clock echoed around her. 

“Only one more hour…” she said quietly. 

The past few days had been tiring, luckily her day off was just around the corner. After a few more bites, Aurora threw her salad away and left the break room. 

…Just tell me why…

Aurora froze and turned her head in the direction of the music playing nearby. Whoever was singing had a rich, soulful voice. 

…There’s still so much left to say…

Aurora continued down the hall as the music continued to play. 

…Please come back to me…

Once Aurora found the room, she gently pushed the door open to see who was inside. 

The man sitting up in bed had his laptop out and his phone next to him. Although he was wearing a hospital gown, it was no secret he spent his fair share of time in the gym. Aurora’s eyes traveled from the willful look in his chocolate brown eyes to the neatly trimmed beard, chiseled jaw, and the curves of his biceps under the sleeves. 

“Is someone there?”

Aurora started to back away but then realized how foolish that would be, so she pushed the door open and walked into the room.

“Hm, you aren’t Dr. Delarosa,” he said with a smile and lowered the lid to his computer. 

Aurora cleared her throat, maintaining a professional demeanor. “No, I’m not, I heard the music— “.

“I figured it was too loud, my apologies,” he said and lowered the volume. “My neighbor didn’t bring me any headphones, only my essentials for work”. 

“Just try to keep the music at a lower volume”. 

“Will do” he answered back. 

Aurora turned to leave but paused in the doorway, the man looked up once more and raised an eyebrow at her. “If you don’t mind me asking, who was that?” she asked. 

“Stepback Three, he just released a new single”.

Aurora shook her head as she tried to contain her smile. So he’s hot and listens to R&B….

“Hold on…are you taking over for Ines or…?”

Aurora snapped out of her thoughts, remembering she had somewhere to be and patients to check on. “No, I was just nearby…did you need anything?”

The man looked around and shrugged. “No I’m okay for right now, thank you”. 

“Your welcome” Aurora replied and exited the room. 

Once she was back in the hallway, she smiled, hopefully, she would run into him again. 

  A few weeks later, Aurora found herself working the same shift as Bryce, Sienna, Elijah, and Jackie. When it was time to clock out, Aurora retreated to the locker room to gather her things so she could go home. 

“Has anyone decided where we’re going out to eat?”

Aurora briefly looked over her shoulder to see the group huddled together, all of them out of their uniform and changing their shoes. 

“I have a few surgeon buddies who want to tag along,” Bryce said. 

“Bryce I was hoping to keep this get together small…sometimes your other friends can be a bit much” Sienna chimed in. 

Aurora busied herself with her locker, desperately trying to get it open. The less she heard of their conversation the better. 

“I might have asked Phoebe to come…but seriously where should we go?” Elijah asked.

“Maybe Aurora has a suggestion?”

Aurora turned around to face the group, each person returned a friendly smile…except for Jackie who gave her a dismissive once-over. 

“We’re unsure about where to go eat, which sounds better: Chinese, Indian, or Italian?” Sienna asked.

Aurora breathed a sigh of relief as she finally opened her locker. “Beats me” she answered.

Jackie laughed and shook her head. “Figures”. 

“Excuse me?” Aurora turned towards Jackie as she slipped her coat on and wrapped her scarf. 

“I figured you wouldn’t have an opinion since you don’t get out much”. 

Sienna elbowed Jackie and shot her look while Elijah and Bryce awkwardly looked away. 

“I do get out” Aurora replied coldly. “I was at Donahue’s with everyone that one time”.

“Yeah, and I heard you were sitting at the bar alone looking through apartment listings”. 

Aurora rolled her eyes and proceeded to leave. “Whatever Jackie” she called over her shoulder. 

As she walked down the hallway towards the exit, Aurora began to think about what Jackie said. Okay, she was right, she didn’t get out as much as she wanted to. A small part of her wanted to be a part of the friend group that Sienna, Bryce, and Elijah formed with Casey Valentine. However, she kept her distance because of trust issues. Usually, her colleagues only befriended her so they could be on her aunt’s good side. To protect herself, she built a wall and put on a cold, aloof personality. Unfortunately, all that did was push people away. 

A cold gust of wind greeted her once she stepped outside and Aurora shivered as she began walking down the sidewalk. 

“You know what screw it…I will find something to do tonight” Aurora said and pulled out her phone. 

  “Come on, tell me what happened?”

Duke Oakley lowered his glass and raised an eyebrow at his friend. “Three words Garret, Attorney. Client. Privilege”.

Garret Redmond sighed and took a sip of his scotch. “Well, I find it interesting that Rhodes turns up dead and a few other things…”.

“Look, all I’m going to say is the hearing is on Friday,” Duke said.

“Hm, well hopefully, all of this crap blows over”.

Duke tapped his fingers on the side of his glass as he thought back to the text he received from Dorian Delacroix. 

“Anyway, what happened to you the other night?”

“I was in a car accident,” Duke said as he rubbed his shoulder. 

Garret raised an eyebrow at him as he took another drink. “What happened?”

“I hardly remember, I know I called a Dryve and then I saw some headlights” Duke shook his head and ran a hand through his hair. 

“Well, at least you’re okay”.

Duke shook his head and tossed back his whiskey. “True”.   

Garret pulled out his phone and to check the time and shortly put it away. “I have an early flight tomorrow, AgraCorp is looking into some property in Gracetown”.

“Thanks for the drinks man,” Duke said.

“No problem, but next time I’m in town we should hit up Fenway–Kenmore with Luca”. 

“Sure if you’re buying”.

Garret laughed and pointed at him as he exited the bar. “Ha! We’ll see about that”. 

  “Alright, here you are…The Rusty Mallard”. 

Aurora glanced out the window and took in the rustic appearance of the bar. “Thanks,” she said and stepped out of the car. 

While the snowflakes fell around her, Aurora took in her surroundings and noticed she was in Rivermont, one of Boston’s oldest neighborhoods. 

Once Aurora entered the bar, her eyes landed on an empty seat at the bar. As she walked towards the bar, she tripped and bumped into someone’s chair. “Oh, sorry,” she said quickly. 

“No worries”.

Aurora froze, it was the man from the hospital. “It’s you…the Stepback Three fan”.

The man flashed a pearly white grin as he briefly looked down at the table and back up at her. “Guilty,” he said. 

Aurora smiled and briefly looked away from him. The hue of the lights cast an alluring look on his face.

“What brings you here?”

Aurora looked over at the empty seat, which was now occupied. “Oh…I was just in the neighborhood” she said. 

“Care to join me?” The man gestured to the seat in front of him.

“Sure,” Aurora said as she took off her coat.

“Duke Oakley,” he said and extended a hand towards her. 

“Aurora Emery” Aurora shook his hand, his touch was soft, yet firm. 

“What are you drinking?”

“Water” Aurora answered as she settled into her seat. “On second thought, I’ll have a scotch neat”.

Duke shook his head as he collected the empty glasses on the table and walked over to the bar. Aurora bit her lip; the long sleeve shirt he had on revealed a v-shaped back and his pants outlined a firm butt and sculpted thighs. 

Within minutes, Duke returned with two drinks and set them down on the table. “Here you go”. 

“Thank you,” Aurora said and took the drink he slid towards her. 

“So did you just get off work?”

Aurora sipped her drink and then looked down at her scrubs. After work, she didn’t bother to go back to her Aunt’s place and change clothes. Instead, she went to the museum and to see Chris Winter’s new movie. “Sort of,” she said. 

“Busy day?”

“You can say that, if you don’t mind, what is it that you do?”

“I am a lawyer” Duke answered and took a sip of his drink. 

“I hope you aren’t due in court in the morning…”.

Duke chuckled as he shook his head. “No, but I have some time to spare”.

Aurora smiled as she looked down at her glass and ran her fingers along the brim. Somehow, she felt the intense heat of his gaze on her and she relished in the feeling of it.

“Do you live around here?”

“No, I live near the hospital, what about you?”

“I’m over in Benbrook” Duke replied as he lifted his glass and took a slow sip.

“That’s a nice area, it’s not too far from the public garden”.

“Have you been over that way?”

“I think so…my Aunt showed me around once”.

Duke shook his head and took another sip. “Well if you want, I know of some nice places to eat, catch a show…”. 

“Tempting…” Aurora took another sip as she tried to hide her smile. 

Duke grinned as he tapped his fingers on the table. “Doctor, what will it take for you to say yes?”

Aurora turned towards him, no longer hiding her smile. “I need direct evidence of what you are telling me, counselor”. 

Duke bit his lip, a playful smile formed at the edge of his lips. “Your honor— “. 

Bzzzz bzzzzzzz Bzzzz bzzzzzzz

Both of them turned away from each other to check their phones. 

“It’s work…” Duke frowned as he looked at his screen. 

“I get it, go ahead,” Aurora said. 

Duke gave her an apologetic look before he stepped away to answer the call. Aurora used the opportunity to check the time, she didn’t want to stay too late, nor start something that would probably lead nowhere. 

  “Okay, so it’s this Friday?”. 

“Yes, the hearing is on Friday. Dorian, I want you to be there on time and make sure your wife is present". 

“I know the drill, this isn’t my first rodeo Oakley, but listen with how everything has played out…what are my chances here?”

“I’m certain this case will be dismissed; Judge Ortiz is presiding”.

“Ha! This may work out then! I meant to tell you that Mohsenin is safe, his phone cut out or something that night”. 

Duke sighed with relief and turned towards Aurora who stood up and put her coat on.

“Now the other problem you mentioned—”.

Duke quickly covered the phone and hurried back over to Aurora. “Hey, hold on, I’m almost done”.

“It’s getting late” Aurora said. 

“This will only take a minute, scout’s honor”.

Aurora gave him a friendly smile before heading towards the door. “Thanks for the drink, this court is adjourned”. 

Duke grinned as he watched her stride out of the bar. 

“Oakley?!”

“Yep, still here” Duke answered as he returned to his seat. 

  Once Aurora was outside, she paused and looked through the window. Duke sat at the table speaking to someone on the phone. Reluctantly, she turned away and walked down the sidewalk to hail an approaching taxi. 

Once she got inside and settled into the backseat the driver turned around to face her. “Where to Miss?”

“4943 Burke Street”.

“Ah, that’s near Edenbrook,” he said and proceeded in that direction. 

“Say, you wouldn’t happen to know of any interesting places in Benbrook, would you?”

“There’s a few, you need ideas for the weekend?”

Aurora smiled as she gazed out the window, the snow still falling over the city. “Yeah…I might bump into someone”. 

[fullmetalscullyy]

I am obsessed with your writing and drop everything when you release new content! ✨✨✨ If you don't mind, I want more Royai angst in my life. I don't think I have seen you do this. One where Riza is tired of waiting for Roy and decides to marry/seriously date someone else. Basically how Roy deals with this. Can be whatever you want, obviously. ☺️

oh my goodness skjhgjk bless u

me? royai angst? don’t you mean my middle name?

and no joke i had an idea for a fic like this in 2018 (almost a year to the date lmao) but never got passed like 500 words and eventually dropped and forgot about it so thanks for bringing me back to it!

(no one mentioned anything about a happy ending either 👀 fair warning!)

enjoy ;)

rated: t

words: 4458

“What?” Roy asked, disbelief colouring his tone. Dread andfear rushed through his body, but he was too much shock to let it show on hisface.

“I’ve got a boyfriend,” she smiled. He knew she was tryingto hide just how happy she was, Roy could see it all over her face. He’d knownher for long enough to be able to tell. Plus, the excitement was clear in hertone.

Catalina looked asshocked as he felt but recovered quickly. She congratulated her friend happily,and the others joined her. Roy had yet to move from his frozen position in thechair and he knew Riza had noticed. He remained in place, still, sayingnothing, and just staring at his old friend.

A whirlwind of emotions flew through is mind. Not one stoodout, leaving him feeling numb and shocked. All he knew was Riza Hawkeye was datingsomeone.

And it wasn’t him.

A sharp elbow to his side jolted him back to the present.Havoc shot him a pointed look.

“That’s great, Riza,” he offered with a smile. They all knewit wasn’t genuine, but Riza didn’t seem to notice. She was too lost in herhappiness to notice him now.

And rightly so, she should be happy. God knows she’d had atough childhood. Her life hadn’t exactly been a forgiving one, yet she hadpersevered and pulled through stronger than ever.

Roy had always planned that her happiness in her later yearswould be because of him. Throughout their lives he had only brought her sorrowand pain. He truly didn’t deserve her, however, there was always a sliver ofhope residing within him that something may happen.

Now it had crumbled to dust.

“Riza, I had no idea. When… When did this happen?” Catalinademanded, looking slightly hurt.

They all had noidea. Least of all, Roy.

But why would he know? She was just his subordinate, nothingmore.

No matter how much he’d hoped that would change.

He’d loved her for years and yet he hadn’t been able tofigure this out, pick up the signs?

She still never left the office early, always waiting forhim to finish his paperwork. He’d been a notorious procrastinator in hisyounger years but now, as a General, he’d buckled down and motivated himself topush forward. After all, the sooner he hit Fuhrer, the sooner he could admit toRiza how he’d felt for years.

She’d put up with his crap for too long. He was too slow.That’s how this happened.

“A couple of months ago,” she admitted.

“Months?”

Months.

Riza nodded. “Yes. We’ve been seeing each other for a fewmonths. We were in the academy together and have kept in touch ever since. Imet him in the hospital again while returning for check-ups last year. He askedme out of a coffee to catch up, we got to talking and now… Here we are,” shebeamed.

She’d been returning for check-ups on her neck? Waseverything okay?

And… Had he been reading the signs wrong for all theseyears?

It was too late to ask her now.

“What’s his name?” Catalina demanded. She was leaningforward in her chair, desperate to drink in as many details as possible. Shewas in the academy with Riza, so was Havoc – who Roy also noted was suddenlyvery interested in who this mystery man was – so of course they would want toknow who it was.

“Do you remember Eric Larsson?”

“The tall, blonde, hunk we used to obsess over,” Catalinapractically slavered. “Oh, Riza, you lucky thing!”

“Hey,” Havoc protested with a frown.

“Sorry, honey, but this guy was something else.”

“I know. I was there,in case you had forgotten.”

“Eric Larsson,” Catalina repeated, her tone taking on adreamy quality as she stared into space with a happy smile. Havoc just grumbledto himself. “You finally landed him, huh? Well, luck you!”

Breda shot a quick look at Roy, who pretended not to notice.It was no secret with the men how he felt about Hawkeye. Not now anyway. He’dbeen told it was blatantly obvious how he felt about Riza, but clearly itwasn’t obvious enough.

*          *          *

“Sir, I’m going out to the deli on 5th Street forlunch. Would you like anything brought in?” Hawkeye asked, poking her headthrough the door to his office.

“No, thank you, Captain.”

“Okay. Enjoy your lunch, sir.” The closed behind her and Roydropped his pen, brooding. Riza had only just recently begun to leave HQ forlunch by herself, and Roy supposed now he knew why. All these little things,these little changes he’d noticed, were all beginning to add up.

Deciding not to dwell on it too much, lest his mood go intodecline once more, Roy turned in his chair, overlooking the courtyard. He wassulking already, and everyone knew it.

Riza was well within her right to date and marry whoever shewanted. She owed Roy absolutely nothing. Even if she thought she did, he woulddismiss it. He’d brought her too much sorrow in her life.

But it didn’t mean he had to like the fact that she was withsomeone else.

Movement caught his eye and he looked, seeing Riza hurryingout from the entrance to HQ. A man with sandy blonde hair was waiting for her,grinning. He extended his arm, offering Riza his hand. She took it and kissedhim before they both fell into step together. Roy felt his chest tighten, hisstomach ball up uncomfortably.

He turned back around in his chair. The movement was moreviolent than intended. Storming of the empty office he left to go the mess hallto join the rest of his team.

He didn’t need another lunch break sitting alone in hisoffice.

*          *          *

He kissed her.

It was the dumbest idea. It was the stupidest idea. She was dating someoneelse and he had the bright idea tokiss her.

He always had been a dumbass.

But, for the briefest moment, she melted against him. Shesighed softly – almost moaning in his mouth – her lips moving against his, andfor one moment in his life, Roy was happy. Trulyhappy.

They were out at Christmas’ new bar, enjoying the grandopening. It was Friday and Roy needed the night to drown his sorrows after theweek he’d had. Riza had left rather quickly and he – in his infinite wisdom –followed her to the stock room through the back. It was dark, her voice wasquiet, and she sounded upset, but he didn’t know what about.

So, he seized the opportunity and –

He kissed her.

Riza shoved him off her.

“What are youdoing?” she growled angrily, fire blazing in her eyes.

“I –”

“You had your chance,” There was a hint of wetness in hereyes. “You had it and you blew it,” she seethed. “Don’t come running to me now only because you can’t havesomething you want.”

“Riza, I’m sorry –”

“No, you’re not,” she shook her head, hugging her arms closeto her as her fire died down, put out by the water falling from her eyes. “Youcouldn’t possibly be. If you were, you would have asked me years ago. But youdidn’t. I’m tired, Roy.” She met his gaze and her tears begun to fall. “I’mtired of waiting for you.”

He wanted to reach out and hug her, comfort her, but thatwasn’t his job anymore. She had someone else to do it, and Riza wouldn’t wantRoy to do it either. He was the reason she needed comforting in the firstplace.

“Please, just –”

She shook her head. “No.”

Riza turned on her heel and left the stock room, leaving Royin the dim light to think about how he’d made the biggest mistake of his life.

He was unsure of how much time had passed. It stretched onfor eternity before him, his future laid out before his eyes.

Cold, empty, and without Riza by his side.

“Mustang?” he heard Havoc call into the room. “You still inhere?” He sounded pissed.

“Over here,” he replied, voice thick.

“What the hell are you doing, man?” he asked. He was pissed. “We saw Riza leave in ahurry. What did you do?”

“I…”

“Roy.”

“I kissed her,” he whispered sadly.

Havoc blinked in surprise. “You what?”

“I kissed her.”

“Why?”

“I�� I have no idea.” He was an idiot, that’s why.

“You don’t get to toy with her like that, Mustang,” Havocgrowled. “She’s been waiting for years for your sorry ass and when you can’thave her, you go and do something like that? Think how that must make herfeel!”

“Like shit?” he asked, his on eyes flashing at Havoc. Heknew exactly how it felt because he felt the same way too.

But the world doesn’trevolve around you, Roy boy. You know this. So, why push her to a point likethat? It’s cruel and unfair. She’s happy and you’re trying to blow it for yourown personal gain.

Bastard.

“Come on,” he barked, grabbing his upper arm. “You’re goingto apologise to her.”

“Havoc –” he began, feeling very tired.

“Shut the fuck up,” he hissed as they stepped intoChristmas’ bar. One look at the two and the Madame knew exactly what hadhappened. Nothing got passed her, especially not in her own bar. She frowned athim, pursing her lips. Oh boy, she wasn’t happy. “You’re fixing this becauseyou owe Riza that much.”

“What the hell did you do, Roy boy?” the Madame demanded assoon as they were outside in the cool night air. “Riza left here like a batoutta hell.”

“He kissed her,” Havoc replied for him, tone sour.

“You don’t get to play with her like that –”

“Can you save it?” Roy asked. “Havoc has already given methat lecture and I’ve already told myself that in my head.”

“Cut the attitude, Roy,” Christmas barked. “You will hear ita third time and you will hear it from me.That poor girl has waited for you to make a move or years. Granted, you hadlaws that prevented you both, but there was nothing against telling her. Youcould’ve done that, but you didn’t.”

“I told her!” he shouted in the quiet night. The other twostood quietly as they watched him, the outburst unexpected. “She knows how I feel.Always has. It’s never changed.”

“When?”

Roy paused, unsure of whether he should tell them or not.Havoc was unaware of his time in the Hawkeye household. It was an automaticreaction to hide that information, but this was Havoc. And, the Madameobviously already knew.

Roy told himself “fuck it”. At this point, it didn’tmatter anymore.

“When we were kids,” he admitted.

“Kids?” Havoc asked, confused.

“Teenagers. I studied under her father. I left for themilitary and left her behind – the second biggest regret of my life.”

“What’s the first?” the Madame asked carefully.

Roy took a deep breath, finally admitting how he felt.

“Not telling Riza I still feel the same way now.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“I put it off. We had time. Silly, because life has taughtme that everything can be ripped from me just like that.” He snapped hisfingers to demonstrate. “I got complacent because the threat was gone after thePromised Day.” He turned his gaze up to sky, gazing at the stars. “You knowwhat? The first thing I saw when I opened my eyes after the Promised Day washer,” he stated wistfully. “Doctor Marco asked me to look at him, but Icouldn’t. I lied and said I couldn’t see, but all I saw was Riza.” Marco hadasked him to close his eyes again while he used alkahestry to search thesockets to check the nerves were all connected. When Roy opened them again, hetold the truth. He could see again, and it was beautiful, staring at Riza whowas looking on anxiously. “I didn’t want it to be him. I wanted it to be her.”

“Roy?” A familiar voice called to him uncertainly. His eyesclosed. Damn it. He had no idea she’dbeen listening.

Roy placed his hands in his pockets, half turning away fromthe three people staring at him. The Madame with a knowing, satisfied, look onher face, Havoc looking very surprised, and Riza. She was staring at him withan odd look on her face, like she didn’t quite believe his words and wanted himto tell her it was true.

Or that it wasn’t true.

He wouldn’t. He wouldn’t hurt her again.

His back straightened and he schooled his features into amask. “Captain Hawkeye,” he greeted formally, removing himself emotionally fromthe conversation as Havoc and Christmas looked between them both. “I apologisefor my behaviour. It was inappropriate and I do, honestly, regret my actions.” Regretted not doing it sooner. Regretted how it made you feel. “Iunderstand if you no longer wish to work with me. On Monday there will be astack of transfer papers on your desk.”

“Mustang –” Havoc interrupted, realising this was not goingin the direction he anticipated.

“The last thing I want is for you to feel uncomfortable inyour place of work. You can decide what you wish to do with them. Goodnight.”

He turned and walked away, ignoring the Madame calling outhis name.

*          *          *

Never in his life had he felt so lonely.

He’d lost everything. The love of his life, his soulmate.Riza must have felt the same way at some point. She’d been “waiting for him”after all. And he’d blown it, taken too long, so she had sought out someoneelse to comfort her, love her. He wishedit could be him, but it wasn’t meant to be. He didn’t believe in fate. Fatewouldn’t have given them the life they’d had, but he and Riza obviously justweren’t meant to be together in that way.

“I’d follow you intohell if you asked me to”. Well, this was hell all right, and he was herealone. He’d caused this, it wasn’t her fault, but this was where he belonged.

Alone.

No one came after him. The Madame had called his name, butshe couldn’t leave the bar unattended. Plus, he’s been an idiot and wouldn’t besurprised his foster mother took Riza’s side on this. The Madame had alwaysliked Riza.

Havoc had known Riza longer, they’d been in the Academytogether, so Roy knew his loyalties lay with her. Plus, the whole team wasaware of the shit he’d put Riza through. If Roy was them, he’d pick Riza overtheir CO as well.

His apartment was cold and uninviting when he entered. Itwas times like this he wished he had a dog. Someone to greet him when he camehome. At the thought, an image of Hayate popped into his head and Roy brushedit aside. That reminded him of Riza.

Sitting on his bed, Roy stared into space as he ran over theevents of the night in his head.

Why did he kissher?

Because you wanted toknow what it felt like one last time.

They’d been together as teenagers. They’d slept together.That night of her father’s funeral Roy had whispered his promises anddeclarations of love against her skin. They still stood true to this day.

He wondered if Riza remembered any of them.

She’d been pissed when he’d left her again. Roy knew that.Perhaps that’s why she had ignored his words.

All through her life he had let her down and hurt her. Shewas wise to find someone else and leave him behind.

*          *          *

Monday morning came and Roy entered the office looking likehis usual self – which nowadays looked brooding and miserable – holding hisbreath to see if there would be signed transfer forms on his desk or not.

His stomach dropped when he saw them sitting there. Heclosed the inner doors to his office, blocking out the rest of the team wholooked on with their familiar looks of concern.

Dread prickled over his skin as he rounded the desk.

They were unsigned.

He let out a breath of shocked relief.

Selfish bastard.

The knock on his door drew him out of surprise. He squasheddown the hope. What he’d done was inexcusable and didn’t warrant hope. Riza is happy. Without you. Remember that.

“Good morning Captain,” he greeted professionally despitethe knot in his stomach.

She didn’t sign them.

“Good morning, sir. Could I request a minute of your time?”

“Of course. Take a seat,” he gestured towards the chair infront of his desk. The doors closed quietly behind her.

Riza took a deep breath as she composed herself. Her handswere folded in her lap, her posture perfect. The way she was holding herself,it was controlled.

“I was wondering if we could talk. Privately, after work.”There was a fire in her eyes that showed she was pissed. Roy sighed. He had alot of work to do and was unsure why she was dragging this out to be longer andmore painful than it needed to be. She could have signed the transfer papersand be done with him. She could have moved on with her life.

“If you wish,” he replied carefully. Curiosity may havekilled the cat, but now he wanted to know whyshe was dragging this out and why she hadn’t signed those papers. He had arough idea but wanted to hear it from Riza herself.

“My place? After work?”

So, it really was to be private. Probably to avoid a publicshouting match.

“I don’t think that’s wise, Captain, given your new socialcircumstances.” Her jaw locked.

“I don’t have a problem with it, sir,” she replied. Roycould almost hear the hint of sourness in her tone. “It’s my apartment, afterall. Not Eric’s.”

“Of course. I apologise for the assumption. Would you like aride home?”

“That would be lovely, sir. Thank you.”

“No problem, Captain. Is there anything else I can help youwith?”

“That will be all, sir.” She vacated the seat and saluted,not quite meeting him in the eye.

She was pissed.

Probably about the transfer papers.

Whoops.

Too bad he couldn’t really bring himself to care at thispoint.

*          *          *

“Transfer papers?”Riza stressed as soon as they were in the comfort of her own home. “Really?”

“I gave you the opportunity to get out, should you want it,”Roy explained, taking a seat on an armchair by the fire. Hayate hopped up onhis lap and breathed in his face. Well, at least someone in this house washappy to see him. “How I acted was inappropriate and I would have understood ifyou didn’t feel comfortable working with me anymore.”

Riza blinked at him, seemingly surprised by histhoughtfulness. Then the hard tone was back. “Regardless,” she stated, enteringher bedroom to get changed. He banished the thought of her undressing from hismind. God, she had no idea the affect she had on him. “When I signed up to workwith you, I made a promise and I intend to follow it through to the bitter end.Don’t assume that I would brush you – orwhat I did in Ishval – off like that just because of your idiotic actions.” Shefell quiet and Roy heard the sound of fabric rustling.

She was right, as always.

Roy turned his attention to the room to try and distracthimself from Riza undressing and wished he hadn’t. There was a tie neatlyfolded on the coffee table, a suit jacket draped over the chair by the table.

Eric’s.

There was a photo of them both. They were smiling and happy.Roy looked away. Then, he noticed another photo on the coffee table. It was ofhim. And Riza. They were young. This was taken at her house when he’d been astudent. They were grinning, an arm around each other’s shoulders. Royremembered this. Mr. Carson from the farm next door had taken it. He felt apressure building his throat as he saw that photo. He hadn’t seen or eventhought about that photo in years.

And here it was, sitting proudly on Riza’s coffee table nextto a photo of her and her partner.

“I’ve always loved you, Roy, but I’m happy with Eric,” shewhispered.

His head snapped around to face her as she entered the roomagain. She was a vision in grey sweatpants and a hoodie from the Academy.

The revelation confirmed his thoughts and he nodded,offering her a sad smile. “I understand.”

“I… I wanted it to be you but… Eric has opened me up toother things. And it’s nice… To be loved by someone who doesn’t know how muchof a monster I truly am.”

Roy nodded, knowing the feeling. Even now, they were stillhaunted. It was expected, but it didn’t make it any easier.

“You are wonderful, Riza. Don’t ever forget that. And Iwould never take that happiness away from you. I just… I wanted to tell you howI felt. And I ended up showing you instead.”

Riza nodded, her cheeks turning a light shade of pink as shethought back to the kiss. Roy shivered minutely as he remembered her moan, herlips moving against his.

“Can… Can I admit something that you might hate me for?”

“I could never hate you, Roy,” she smiled softly.

Hesitantly, he stepped closer and grasped her fingerslightly in his. It felt so right to have them both entwined together.

“In that stock room I was overcome by the thought that Iwould never get the opportunity to do it again. The last time I kissed you Iwas eighteen years old – over fifteen years ago – and I wanted to do it onemore time. Just in case I never could again.”

Riza was silent and offered him no other comment. He didn’texpect any either.

“It was dumb, it was inappropriate, it was selfish. I knowthat. But… I know “I couldn’t help myself” doesn’t justify it, but it’s true. Iapologise for that, but you know I’ve always been an arrogant idiot,” he added,smiling sadly.

The corner of her mouth quirked up into a genuine smile.

“May I?” he asked, opening his arms.

Riza nodded and stepped forward into his embrace, holdinghim tighter than he thought she would. Roy responded in kind, holder her tightagainst him while a piece of his heart shattered at the acceptance that thiswould be the last time he’d ever hold her like this.

They had spent fifteen years already hiding how they feltabout each other. What was the rest of their lives at this point?

It would be easy. It wouldn’t crush him. It wouldn’t shatterhis heart in two to see Riza marry Eric. Not at all.

“I will alwayslove you, Roy. Don’t forget that.”

He chuckled to himself. It was fitting, really.

“And I, you.”

He kissed the top of her head, giving her one more squeezebefore he let go, driving the final nail in the coffin that was their personalrelationship.

All those years together… Well, at least he’d have them tolook back on fondly. He’d been loved by Riza Hawkeye all this time, and he hadloved her in return. Even without being able to show it or proclaim it to theworld, it had been enough. More than he’d ever deserved.

“Anyway, I should get going,” Roy announced, stepping awayto put distance between them, both physically and emotionally. “Thank you forgiving me the opportunity to explain myself. I really do appreciate that.”

“Of course,” she stated. Roy had already turned away to pickup his jacket, but he noticed the hitch in her voice. He ignored it. He had to,because if he turned around, he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from drawingher to him and holding her close, never letting go.

“Goodbye Captain. I will see you tomorrow.”

“Goodbye, Roy.”

He ignored the emotion in her voice, her wet eyes, andsmiled as he turned away a final time. Roy nodded to himself as he stood on thelanding, Riza’s apartment door closed firmly behind him.

So that was it.

It was done.

He would hold onto the hope that things might not work outin the end for them both, but he would never actively look forward to thatpoint. After all, she was happy with Eric. He wouldn’t take that away fromRiza. However, he promised himself that if the opportunity did present itself,he wouldn’t waste it again.

At least they could still work together. At least he still hadthat. He would still be able to see her, which was all he asked for. Theywouldn’t be moving away. Riza had made it clear she still had a job to do whileby his side. Roy had until he was Fuhrer then she would be gone. Well, that’swhat he theorised. Her job would be done, so why would she stick around? Their job would be done. Roy would makethe changes necessary then be executed for his crimes. That was how things weresupposed to go, and that’s what he had resigned himself to years ago. He didn’tdeserve the happiness he would receive from being with Riza. Not after Ishval.

It was fitting that she would find someone else. After all,he was the biggest monster of them all, and deserved nothing.

Perhaps it was better he would never get the chance to findhappiness with Riza. He would always love her, but getting the chance to beloved by her, to hold her, to kiss her… It would make his judgement day evenworse. He would die aching for more time with the woman he had loved since hewas a teenager. This way, he would die wondering what could have happenedbetween them, but with the knowledge that he’d atoned for his sins and notenjoyed himself like he longed to after robbing thousands of their lives.

There would be nothing dragging his focus away from hisjudgement day. That was the endgame. Always had been, always will be.

Shoving his hands deep in his pockets, Roy turned and walkeddown the hallway and out of Riza’s personal life.

[broadwaycantdie]

Drag Race! - Newsies (Pride) Month . Day 13

( buttons ) + ( drag queens )

a/n: i had this idea a while ago but i didn’t know how to do it so let’s see how it goes // also FUCK i love drag race

warnings: none

background: A few of the newsies LOVE Rupaul’s Drag Race. They’ve seen every season and rewatch old seasons when waiting for new episodes. Buttons has never seen the show despite his friends asking him to. He finally sits down with them to watch a previous season of their choice and begins to learn what it’s all about. The boys realize something they never have before and decide to run with it.

( this story only really works if you picture Damon J. Gillespie’s version of Buttons btw )

——————————————————————————

“Buttons! We’re gonna rewatch a season. You wanna watch finally? This one’s a good one, trust me.”

“Hmm...okay why not. But if it’s not good you owe me.”

“And if you like it, you owe us.”

Race slid over and made room for Buttons on the already full couch.

“I didn’t know all you guys liked Drag Race”, Buttons asked semi-shocked.

“Of course! You’ve never seen a competition like this, B, trust me. It’s got it all! Drama, beauty, friendship, iconic quotes, fights...man you don’t know what you’re missing!” Mush called out from the armchair.

“Well stop telling me and put it on so I can see for myself!” Buttons replied, ready to see what all the hype was about.

Race turned on the TV and opened up his purchased shows. He bought every season, no matter what.

“This is the best All Stars season”, he said, hovering the section over All Stars 3.

“Uh? Race?” Davey called out from the opposite armchair of Mush.

“Yeah?”

“Don’t you mean All Stars 2 is the best?”

“No? What are you on, Dave? Crack!?”

“Are you? Clearly All Stars 2 is the best!”

Buttons could see how serious the boys were about their show.

“Okay, okay, okay. Let’s settle this”, Davey said, getting up from his chair, “Raise your hand if you think All Stars 2 is the best.”

Davey, Jack, Mush, Kid Blink, Albert, Specs, Tommy Boy, and Jojo all raised their hands.

“Guys!” Race yelled, distressed.

“Alright hold up. Now raise your hand for season 3.”

Race’s hand shot up, along with Kenny, Smalls, Romeo, Elmer, and Henry.

“Thank you guys! At least I know a few of you have taste.”

“Crutchie, why didn’t you raise your hand?” Davey asked.

“Cause I like All Stars 1”, he replied.

Both Davey and Race stopped to look at him and couldn’t help but laugh.

“Who likes season 1?” Race joked.

“I do! I love Jujubee okay! She was robbed!”, he retorted defensively.

“You think everyone was robbed”, Jack butted in.

Buttons just sat and listened, more confused than ever.

There was a pause and then Race couldn’t help but speak back up.

“But like, tell me, how, HOW is season 2 better than season 3?” Race argued.

“Do you want it in a list or a paragraph cause we’re gonna be here for a while”, Albert quickly snapped back.

“List them off, let’s see what you got, Dasilva!”

“Bet! Hmm, where to start...” Albert began sarcastically, “Oh yeah! KATYA! ALASKA! ALYSSA! PHI PHI! ADORE! Must I continue?”

“Be my guest.”

“The entirety of ‘Read U Wrote U’—“

“Even Roxxy’s verse?” Race butted in.

“We don’t talk about that one and you know that”, Albert said very quickly and even more defensive than before.

“Alright, alright! Well based off majority, All Stars season 2 is the best”, Davey spoke up, trying to regain order.

“Well based off who bought every season, All Stars 3 is the best and that’s what we’re watching so sit down or don’t”, Race ended, pouting like a child having a tantrum.

“So are we watching the best one or Race’s favorite?” Buttons spoke up, still confused on what just happened.

At the same time Race said “the best” and Albert said “Race’s favorite”.

They looked at each other with angry eyebrows and continued on.

“Sorry I asked”, Buttons replied, trying to stop the tension.

“Look what you guys did! Buttons is scared and probably doesn’t even want to watch anymore!” Elmer called out.

They all looked at Buttons who wouldn’t admit it, but was a bit more nervous than before.

“Am I gonna get this heated when I watch?” He asked.

“Honestly...yeah. But it gets less scary when you know what to argue with and when it’s a valid argument”, Jack answered.

“Can we just put it on! Damn guys”, Mush yelled, hushing everyone up.

Race was still lowkey mad but continued on—for Buttons’ sake.

He started the first episode up and they all paid attention, watching like they haven’t seen it before. Acting like if they rewatch it they’ll be a different winner or someone won’t go home as early this time around.

They watched as the queens entered the workroom.

Until they got to the one, the only...

Kennedy Davenport.

She announced herself and Buttons’ eyes went wide.

“Davenport?”

This was the first time he spoke up since the episode started.

“Yeah! Most drag queens are part of a larger drag family and they have a drag mom. So Kennedy is in the house of Davenport and—“ Race started.

“How do they get that last name?” Buttons interrupted.

“Well it just depends, some people got it from just being friends with other drag queens but now usually it’s whoever ‘adopts’ you and kinda take you under their wing in the drag community. Your drag mom helps you out and usually has a family resemblance or a similar style yanno. Like any family!” Race explained.

“But the last name? And resemblance?” Buttons insisted.

“Geez Buttons, you’re admit aren’t you? At least you wanna learn.”

“No. Race...what’s my last name?”

“Uh?”

Race thought for a moment but couldn’t come up with anything.

“Wow. What a friend you are?” Buttons said, semi-sarcastically.

“Davenport”, Albert spoke up.

All eyes turned to Buttons.

Race’s eyes widened and you could practically see the light bulb pop over his head.

“Oh my god, B. You know what we have to do, right?”

“Uh...continue with the episode and act like nothing happened?”

“Nope! We have to put you in drag!”

“I was hoping you’d say anything besides that.”

“Oh come on, B! You’ll be perfect! You already have the Davenport resemblance—“

“—That’s racist.”

“Not racist. Anyway, your family is from Texas, and you have a gorgeous face. You’ll be a perfect Davenport!”

Something inside Buttons made him want to do it. Maybe it was seeing how excited his friends were. Maybe it was the fact that after only watching the first 2 minutes of the show he could already tell it was special. Maybe it was his own curiosity. But he couldn’t say no, his heart wasn’t letting him.

He was quite. Thinking real hard. But he just couldn’t make out the word ‘no’.

“So? What do you say, B?” Race asked, flashing his most persuasive puppy dog eyes.

Buttons let out a heavy breath.

“I mean...what‘s the worst that could happen? Right?”

Race’s face lit up and he immediately jumped out of his seat. He squealed with joy like a little girl.

“Okay Davey, call Sarah and have her bring over all her makeup and some of her nicest dresses, I’m sure they’ll be around the same size, B’s pretty thin and feminine—“

“—Hey!” Buttons butted in.

Race ignored him and kept going.

“Say it’s an emergency. I have heels he can wear so just get the rest, asap. In the meantime, B, you need to come up with your drag name.”

Davey followed instructions while everyone else got to work trying to find a good name for Buttons.

“Guys why don’t—“

“Hold on, B. I’m thinking.”

Buttons kept trying to butt in but with everyone “thinking” they wouldn’t listen.

Finally he just shouted it out.

“Guys! I already have a nickname! Can’t I just keep ‘Buttons’?”

Everyone looked at each other dumbfounded.

Why didn’t they think of that?

After all the chaos of name picking, Sarah arrived with everything Davey asked for. So they immediately got to work.

Buttons had 4 people working on his face almost at the same time. One person would start and then another would pick up where they left off; using their strengths.

After what felt like the longest and most painful thing to happen to his face, he was done...with that part.

Buttons wasn’t allowed to look in a mirror until they were all done. Race wanted something of a “big reveal”.

Race went into a room with Buttons and helped him finish getting ready.

“I don’t have any padding so we’re just gonna have to work with what you got...which ain’t a lot—“

“Hey!”

“I’m being honest! You ain’t got the proportions but we’ll just try to emph up your silhouette.”

He picked out the best dress Sarah brought—and the only one he thought would fit Buttons. It was long, gold, and fully sparkly from the neck to the floor.

“Hmm. How familiar are you with tucking?” Race asked.

“Uh?”

“I forgot this was your first time watching drag race. Uh, okay so what you do is...”

While Race explained the process of tucking, Buttons’ eyes grew wide and concerned. All Race had to do was look at the expression on Buttons’ face to know it wasn’t gonna happen.

“Alright, no tucking...got it. Okay so just put the dress on and I’ll get the heels and the wig.”

“Why do you just have a wig?”

“Why don’t you?”

Race left the room and returned—heels and wig in hand—to see a very confused Buttons trying to zip up the back of the dress.

Race couldn’t help but laugh and walked over to help him. He pulled the dress down, walking circles around his friend fixing everything into place.

He squeezed all Buttons’ curly hair under a wig cap and placed the new hair on just right. Race styled it to perfection—big, blonde, and beautiful—fit for any Davenport. Buttons had never smelt—or tasted—that much hairspray in his life.

“Step into these heels and come out when you’re ready. Give us a little runaway walk. The biggest thing about being a drag queen is confidence!”

Race left the room and went out to the living room with everyone else. They all waited anxiously to see the newest daughter in the Davenport family.

Coming out the door, Buttons was a whole new person. He switched from being the shy, nervous, and quiet Buttons all his friends knew, to a confident, flirtatious, and gorgeous drag queen that they want to know. He had his own drag persona and she was gonna live in this moment.

“Look at her though!” Race called out.

Buttons walked through the living room like she was on the main stage of Rupaul’s Drag Race.

Jack put on some runway music and Buttons owned the room.

She swayed her hips, gave some turns, and smiled her gorgeous smile. She looked like a whole pageant queen and the boys were living for it.

She was giving them body. She was giving them smile. She was giving them personality. She was giving them everything they didn’t know she had in her.

Everyone clapped, snapped, laughed, and shouted.

“You’re beautiful! You’re perfect! You look like Linda Evangelista!” Mush called out.

“You’re a model!” Jack continued.

“Buttons! Your smile is gorgeous!” Kid Blink finished.

“She’s a woman!” Kenny yelled.

“She is what?” Specs started.

“Sickening!” Romeo finished.

“Yas gawd!” Elmer called out.

“Shantay you stay, sweetheart!” Davey laughed.

Buttons finished her little walk around and couldn’t help but smile her widest smile. She still hadn’t seen what she looked like but damn she was feeling herself.

“Someone call the Davenports, they’ve got a new family member!” Albert joked.

Buttons finally looked in the mirror and couldn’t even recognize herself. She looked like a whole woman.

“You guys really went all out...I look gorgeous, henny!”

Everyone laughed.

“Am I doing this right?” Buttons asked, trying to pick up drag language and culture by just what the boys have been saying.

They all took pictures and let Buttons feel herself a little longer.

“Okay, I don’t know how much longer I can wear all this. How do they do it for so long? It’s only been 15 minutes and I’m dying!” Buttons said.

“Alright, sweetheart. Let’s bring you back down to Earth”, Race joker, walking Buttons back to the room.

While helping Buttons de-drag, Race couldn’t help but have a heart full of joy.

“Hey, B?”

“Yeah, Race?”

“Thanks for agreeing to do all this. I know it’s not really your thing but it meant a lot to us. And you looked absolutely stunning! I couldn’t believe it!”

“You know, I’m not ugly, Race”, Buttons joked.

“I know, I know. But still...thanks.”

“It was fun. I had a good time. Maybe we can do it again at some point? Maybe next time we’ll put you in drag along with me.”

“You don’t even know how long I’ve wanted to do that, B. You got yourself a deal.”

“Next time.”

“Next time.”

[inkjackets]

To Save a Loved One

(Previously titled A Ladrien Story)

This is a little fic I wrote, inspired by @buggachat​‘s comic that went round tumblr a few weeks back. Check it out here!

As soon as I saw it, I knew I had to write something for it. And well I'm not the best at writing fluff, and there's a bit of angst, but here it is!

NB: This fic was first posted (and the rest of it planned) between season two and three of Miraculous Ladybug.

AO3

Ch1 Ch2 Ch3 Ch4 Ch5 Ch6 Ch7 Ch8

~~~

‘Darkwings, fall.’ 

Gabriel’s low voice echoed around the room as magic swirled around him, reverting him to his civilian self. The slight shake in his hands was the only thing that betrayed the rage and frustration simmering inside of him. That and the darkness in his eyes. Nathalie took a step back. She had never seen him like this before.

‘S-Sir?’ she stammered when those eyes pierced hers. A shiver ran down her spine. She had never seen him so cold before.

He turned away from her and walked over to the large window giving a breathtaking view of Paris. 

She held her breath and clutched her clipboard tight to her chest as tension filled the room.

‘We need a change of plan.’ Despite his soft voice, Gabriel’s words rang sharply around the room. ‘I can’t keep mindlessly controlling whoever happens to fly into a rage.’ He turned to look at her. She sucked in her breath as those dark eyes pierced hers. ‘I need a target, someone specific who will be sympathetic to our cause.’

‘Who do you have in mind, sir?’

Gabriel held her gaze a moment longer before sighing and looking away. His shoulders slumped. ‘I don’t know,’ he muttered.

Nathalie’s mind whirred as she thought of possible candidates.

‘To clarify, you want someone who understands you; someone who knows the pain of losing someone close to them.’

Gabriel nodded. 

‘Sir, with all due respect, even if you did find someone, you’d need to explain your situation to them to garner their sympathy.’

‘And therein lies my dilemma,’ he smiled bitterly. ‘I need someone who I can trust. Someone who won’t betray me if secrets do spill.’

‘So you don’t need some random person… you need an ally,’ she finished slowly. 

‘In a sense,’ Gabriel’s voice turned calculating. ‘I need someone I can manipulate into working for me.’

Nathalie’s eyes widened as a name came to her.

‘Sir…’ she hesitated.

He looked at her and raised an eyebrow. ‘What is it? You have someone in mind?’

Her eyes flicked to the floor before meeting Gabriel’s gaze.

‘I do, sir.’

‘Well…?’

‘The only person I can think of who meets all your requirements is… Adrien, sir.’ Nathalie swallowed as those deep grey eyes bore into hers.

‘You’d have me use my own son?’ His voice was a deadly whisper.

Nathalie swallowed. ‘It was just an idea, sir. Forget I said it. Give me more time, I’ll come up with a diff-’ she was cut off with a wave of Gabriel’s hand.

He slowly lowered his hand and put it behind his back, turning back to the window as he did so.

Nathalie bit her lip. She shouldn’t have said anything. 

The air grew cold around them as they stood motionless in the room. Nathalie hardly dared to breathe. The silence was disturbed only by the fluttering of white butterflies awaiting their inevitable dark fate.

Gabriel turned his head ever so slightly to the side; the light from the window illuminating his silhouette but shrouding his face in darkness.

‘Nathalie, bring Adrien to my office,’ he said in a quiet but cold voice. ‘I wish to speak with my son.’

‘Yes, sir.’

~~~ 

A Few Weeks Later…

Stupid, stupid. He was being stupid! Adrien stormed down the street as tears threatened to spill down his cheeks. He wiped them away angrily. He shouldn’t be crying dammit! Stupid. 

But he couldn’t get those words out his head.

You are a disappointment to the Agreste name.

You are worthless to me.

I thought you were my son?

I believed in you.

What would your mother think?        

What would your mother THINK?

W H A T  W O U L D   Y O U R   M O T H E R  T H I N K ?

His father didn’t deserve his tears. He knew that. And yet… Adrien stifled a sob. He wanted his father to shut up. He wanted his thoughts to SHUT UP!

‘Adrien,’ Plagg said over his shoulder, ‘You need to calm down. How about some chee-’

‘I’m FINE,’ he snapped. He cringed. Plagg was only trying to help. But he felt so angry.

How dare his father use his mother against him like that. Like…like he… shut up! He willed his mind to please stop thinking. He wanted it all to stop. To stop, dammit! STUPID.

‘ADRIEN!’ 

A cry from behind caused him to freeze.

‘Marinette?’ He turned around, thinking he’d heard his classmate call him. However instead he was met with an akuma fluttering in his face. He yelped and stumbled backwards, trying and failing to think happy thoughts. 

A yoyo came out of nowhere, so close to his face that he could feel the wind as it passed, and snapped up the akuma. The shock made him trip over his feet, slamming him into the floor. 

Adrien sucked in his breath as Ladybug landed a few metres in front of him. All his anger suddenly forgotten. Her chest was heaving and strands of hair fluttered loose from her usually perfect bunches. She had chased this akuma hard. 

Adrien watched, hand clutched to his chest, as Ladybug purified the akuma; her warm little smile as she said ‘bye bye’ lit a light in his heart. He didn’t even realise he was still sitting on the floor until she walked over and knelt in front of him. 

She was beautiful, mesmerising. He held his breath with wonder as Ladybug filled his vision. His heart pounded in his chest.

‘Are you okay?’ she asked. Just like that, memories and anger slammed back into his being. Tears rose in his eyes once more and his hands started to shake. She offered him her hand, her blue eyes wide with concern.

‘Do you want to talk about it?’ Her voice was low and gentle. Despite all the spying gazes of the gathering crowd, her words seemed to form a wall around them. Her eyes were for him only.

‘I-I…’ Adrien stuttered as Ladybug gently pulled him to his feet. He averted his eyes as his father’s words flashed through his head again. ‘I don’t know.’ He felt so torn. 

Ladybug opened her mouth to say something but yells of excitement rang out behind them. 

‘Ladybug, Ladybug!’ 

Both Ladybug and Adrien were jerked out of their little, walled world and back into reality as the surrounding crowd of people moved in to see their hero.

Ladybug’s hand started to slip from Adrien’s, but before the crowd could tear her away, he tightened his grip on her hand, forcing her to look into his eyes. 

‘Thank you, Ladybug,’ he said, smiling sincerely.

Ladybug’s eyes bore into his. She didn’t smile. He shifted uncomfortably as those knowing blue eyes pierced deep into his soul, seeing things he wanted to hide from her.

Her hand slipped from his as the crowd swarmed them and broke them apart. 

~~~

Ladybug sat perched on a rooftop. The night was dark and starless, but the city lights cast a yellow glow over the world. Her hair fluttered against her neck as she gazed down at the Agreste mansion. 

One prick of light shone out from the cold, dark house; shining from Adrien Agreste’s bedroom. The boy was sat huddled on his bed. Staring blankly ahead. Just as she’d thought, something was wrong with him. 

She used her yoyo to pull herself onto the mansion’s rooftop and slowly slunk down until she was above his window. Suddenly, butterflies swarmed in her stomach. What was she doing? Sneaking out to see Adrien Agreste in the middle of the night? She shook her head and tried her best to quell the butterflies. She was simply doing her job as Ladybug she tried to convince herself. But the butterflies refused to leave. 

Taking a breath to steady herself, she slowly lowered herself so that she was hanging in front of his window, and knocked. 

~~~ 

Adrien jumped when he heard a knock. His eyes widened when he saw Ladybug hanging in front of one of his windows. He hastily wiped his watery eyes and got up to let her in. 

Ladybug gracefully dropped in through the window and smiled up at him. Adrien tried to convince himself that it was the sudden breath of cold, night air that rendered him speechless and not her piercing blue eyes. 

‘Hi Adrien,’ Ladybug smiled.

‘Ladybug, hi.’ He felt the blood rise in his cheeks. He suddenly felt incredibly self-aware. He caught a glimpse of himself in the dark window and blanched at the sight of his dishevelled hair. He ran his hands through it in an attempt to flatten it. He hoped his eyes weren’t too red. He hoped Ladybug couldn’t tell he’d been crying.

The look on her face though indicated otherwise.

The silence lengthened between them.

Ladybug smiled, trying to diffuse the awkwardness. ‘Sorry for dropping in like this.’

Adrien smiled, but it was weak and fleeting. His heart wasn’t in it to laugh at the pun. 

‘It’s always a pleasure to see you Ladybug.’

Ladybug’s smile faltered for a split second. 

If he was anyone else he wouldn’t have noticed it. He cursed internally. Of course she’d see right through him.

‘I just wanted to check up on you,’ she said as if nothing had happened. ‘Today was the third time an akuma almost got you. So either Hawkmoth is targeting you,’ she joked but the smile slid off her face pretty quick, ‘or you’re not okay.’

Adrien averted his gaze and bit down on his tongue. 

‘You don’t have to talk about it,’ Ladybug said, ‘but just know I’m here if you ever do.

Adrien blinked. ‘That’s nice of you,’ he whispered.

She smiled.

Adrien rubbed the back of his neck, ‘I’d rather not talk about it if that’s alright with you. But a distraction would be nice.’ He smiled shyly up at her.

She grinned. ‘Sure! What do you want to do?’

Adrien glanced around his room. ‘Do you know how to play Ultimate Mecha Strike 3?’

He felt warmth flood his body when Ladybug’s eyes lit up. 

 Ladybug was good. Really good. Adrien was amazed. He hadn’t taken her for a gamer. Though her fighting style did seem vaguely familiar...

While they had both been a little awkward at first, they had soon relaxed and enjoyed battling each other on the console. Their fighting was punctuated with laughter and mock yelling. They whiled away an hour like this, giggling and smashing each other to bits. Eventually though, they started to get a little tired. After one more round, where Adrien was thoroughly thrashed by Ladybug, they both flopped back onto the couch and smiled at each other. Adrien couldn’t keep the grin off his face. He felt so warm inside. He looked at Ladybug. She too looked so happy. Her cheeks were flushed and eyes sparkled. Adrien couldn’t believe his luck.

Ladybug shifted her body so she was facing Adrien, she rested her elbow on the sofa top and propped her head up. 

‘How are you feeling?’ she asked.

Adrien’s smile slowly slid off his face as he remembered the reason she was here in the first place. His father’s words echoed around his head. The warmth in his heart started to fade.

‘It’s my father,’ he said quietly.

Ladybug tensed, but her eyes were filled with nothing but concern.

Adrien hesitated, but then words started to spill. ‘He’s been more strict with me than usual lately, and he’s started saying…things he’s never said before.’ He fidged with the controller in his hand. ‘I mean, he’s probably just on edge. Maybe work’s been kinda stressful recently?’ He didn’t really believe this, and he could tell Ladybug didn’t either. ‘I don’t know, ever since mum disappeared he’s acted different, but recently it’s gotten worse. And I don’t know what to do about it.' He gave a small sad shrug.

‘He shouldn’t be taking it out on you, though.’ Ladybug said.

‘I know, but what can I do?’

They both fell silent. Adrien felt an ache at the back of his head as a wave of tiredness suddenly washed over him. He yawned but was startled when Ladybug suddenly jumped up.

‘I’m sorry, I didn’t realise the time! You need to sleep,’ she said.

Adrien shook his head, forcing his eyes wide, ‘No, no its fine! I’m not that tired, really!’

Ladybug laughed, ‘I should probably be getting back anyway. It’s been fun though, I hope we can do this-‘

Adrien’s hand suddenly shot out and grabbed her’s. ‘Don’t go.’

Ladybug blinked at him in surprise. He could feel the heat rise in his cheeks as Ladybug’s wide eyes held his, but he refused to let her hand slip away.

‘Okay,’ she said simply, her expression softening. Adrien released his breath. 

Still holding his hand, she climbed back onto the couch, ending up a lot closer to him than before. Adrien shifted his grip so that their fingers were entwined.

He looked into her eyes and felt his heart pump in his chest. 

‘I like having you here, Ladybug.’

Ladybug's cheeks flushed. ‘I like being here,’ she said.

~~~

A Little Extra Scene

Adrien was slowly drifting off to sleep. He was so warm curled up on the sofa with Ladybug, he wanted to stay here forever and never move. However, he was disturbed when she lifted her head.

‘Ladybug?’ he murmured. He opened his bleary eyes to see her staring ahead, wide awake. ‘Are you alright?’

Ladybug bit her lip and gave Adrien a cautious glance. ‘I can’t help but think, what if Hawkmoth is targeting you?’

Adrien laughed. The sound muffled as he dug his head back against Ladybug’s neck.

‘Hey, I know I’m kinda well known but, come on. Who’d want to akumatise me?’

Next Chapter

[starrnobella]

Turn Around Bright Eyes - Chapter 7 - Caution Tape Around My Heart

A/N: Hello darlings! I am back with an update for this mysterious little tale. Part of the reason for that is the simple fact that this tale was nominated in the Beyond the Book Nook Fanfiction's 2018 Summer Awards. It was nominated in four categories! I am beyond shocked that I was even nominated for one, especially since I was nominated in the Best Overall story up against some amazing authors.

Along with Best Overall, I was nominated for Best Angst, Best WIP, and Best Drama. Like I said before I'm just in awe and I can't believe it. If you are interested in voting for my story, please reach out to me on social media and I will send you the link to vote. I know I would greatly appreciate the votes because it's very rare that I get nominated in awards. Thank you to whoever it is that nominated me, just know it means the world.

@xxdustnight88 was able to work her beta wonders magic on this chapter and @squarepeg72 alpha read it for me. Be sure to check out both of them. They are hands down some of my favorite authors to read, especially when I'm in need of a good pick me up, even if some of their stories are the angstiest things I've ever read.

The title of this chapter is Caution Tape Around My Heart which is a lyric from i hate u, i love u by gnash.

Check me out on social media if you're interested. All the links are on my profile! Or you can find me by searching starrnobella on most social media aspects. :)

Let me know if you'd like the link to vote!

The early update is just for NathanielCardeu! Go show him some love!

I love reading your thoughts as to what you think is going on. I think this is beginning to become one of my favorite stories that I've ever written, even if it rips my heart out most of the time.

Love always,

~starr

Rolling over, he reached out expecting to curl up next to the warmth of her body, but when his hand landed on the cool mattress, his eyes flickered open. He pushed up on an elbow and attempt to look around the room, but in the darkness couldn't really see anything. There was a passing thought in his mind as to where she had disappeared to, but as the thought exited his mind, his hand reached out for his mobile.

There was a small part of him that had hoped there was a message waiting for him on his mobile from her. They hadn't spoken in several days and the lack of communication was starting to wear on him. Certainly their fight hadn't been minor, but at the same time they had been involved in fights much worse.

He had hoped that by giving her space, she would come to him. However, as time continued to pass on, he didn't see that happening. This time he might have to be the one to reach out first. Obviously trying to ignore the issues that had begun to bubble up in their relationship had not been the right steps to take. The entire experience was a new thing for both of them, and it quite possibly required a bit of a learning curve.

Each new fight led to a new discovery about the other's triggers and this last fight may have pulled one too many. Only time would tell if they were going to be able to move past this.

Scrolling down to her name in the messages on his mobile, his thumb hovered over their conversation as he contemplated sending her a message. What was he supposed to say to the woman who he had fallen head over heels in love with while still being in love with the woman that he shared this bed with? It seemed as though no words would fix the fissure that had formed between them. All that silence had managed to accomplish was deepening the cut.

He wasn't willing to admit that he missed her, but deep in his heart he knew there was something missing in his life. It felt as though there was a piece of himself missing when she wasn't talking to him.

Allowing his thumb to hover no longer, he pressed down and opened their conversation. Nothing would be resolved if they continued to remain silent. One of them had to break it for the sake of whatever their relationship had turned into.

4:25 AM: Are you ever going to speak to me again?

4:25 AM: Did you mean it when you said we were through? I'm not sure that I can go on living without you…

4:25 AM: Things really won't be the same if you aren't still in my life.

He glanced at the time on his mobile and furrowed his brow as he looked around their small bedroom. Where the bloody hell had his wife disappeared to? It was 4:30 in the morning and the last time he had checked, she never had to be up for work before seven.

Groaning, he rolled over to his side and pushed himself up into a seated position. A chill ran up his spine as his feet hit the floor. There was something in the air, but he couldn't exactly put a finger on it. It would be better to get out of bed now and deal with whatever storm that was brewing now, rather than dealing with it in the morning after a few more hours of sleep. He took a deep breath and pushed himself off the bed.

He made his way slowly toward the door and noticed the sitting room light brightening the small hallway. As he took a few steps into the hall, he heard the soft murmur of music drifting down the hall. The tune sounded familiar, but he couldn't quite place the title or the singer.

"Who's singing?" he asked as rounded the corner into the room. He noticed that she was curled up on the couch under an afghan sound asleep.

He smiled and leaned down, placing a gentle kiss to her forehead. He picked up the remote from off the couch beside her arm and aimed it over his shoulder, shutting off the stereo and placing the remote on the coffee table. Turning his attention back to her sleeping form, he leaned down and slipped his hands underneath her, picking her up and he slowly made his way back to the bedroom. He glanced back over his shoulder at the lamp. That could wait until he had returned her to the bed.

. . . . . . . . .

The flickering light of her mobile stirred her from the light slumber that she had been able to drift off to within the last few hours. She knew exactly what was causing the screen to flash, and honestly, all she wanted to do was pick up the damn device and just give him a call. She wanted to do was hear his voice once again.

She missed him. There was certainly no denying that, but there had been too much damage done already and nothing either of them could do would fix any of it. Maybe if she just continued to ignore him, and everyone else in the world, things would be simpler. Things might even begin to return to normal for her, not that she was sure what normal was anymore.

In the darkness, she heard the faint buzzing of her mobile on the nightstand. Cursing under her breath, she reached out and grabbed the device. She squinted at the screen and sighed. Of course that would be the name that was causing her insomnia. Why was she not surprised?

Glancing at the sleeping man lying beside her, she took a deep breath and lifted the blanket off of her, sliding out from underneath it. As her feet hit the floor, she shivered at the coolness of the wooden surface. The feeling was oddly calming, but at the same time she became increasingly aware of the suspicious behavior she was currently exhibiting.

As she rose from the bed, she glanced back at him over her shoulder and sighed before picking her mobile up off the nightstand and making her way toward the door. She didn't know whether or not she felt guilty about leaving him alone in bed to check for messages from another man or if she was proud of herself for doing so.

She slowly turned the doorknob and heard a sharp inhale of breath coming from the bed behind her. She froze in place and waited for the restless sounds to subside. There was a part of her that hoped he would just think she had rolled closer to the side of the bed and wouldn't realize that she was completely missing. Even as the thought crossed her mind, she found herself shaking her head and judging herself for her own behavior.

When it seemed that all the noise had settled from the bed, she quickly opened the door and cracked it open just enough for her to sneak out. Turning on the flashlight app, she lit the hallway in front of her as she pulled the door shut behind her. She hoped that the click of the latch wasn't loud enough to wake him from what she assumed to be a light sleep with how soon after she had left the bed he had moved.

She made her way quickly down the hall and into the kitchen. Reaching for the kettle, she decided that a cup of tea was in order. She needed to decide if it was really worth finding out what he had to say after almost two weeks of them not talking. In her mind, space was exactly what he needed when he didn't fight for her to stay with him.

Was it really too much to want to be fought for by someone you believed to love you? She wasn't sure of the answer to that question, but at the same time she didn't want to admit that she had been thinking about someone else when the rings on her finger was placed there by another man. She glanced down at the rings and sighed. Something needed to be done or said, but in all honesty she had no idea what.

Making her way into the living room, she collapsed onto the couch and buried her head into the pillows. Part of her wanted nothing more than for her mobile to ring and flash his name across the screen. However, she knew the likelihood of that happening was slim to none. She knew he had taken what she said to heart at their last encounter. As much as she hated herself for saying what she did, it had to be said. It was needed to save both marriages in the long run.

Sliding her finger across the screen she tapped on her messages icon and closed her eyes. She had noticed the red badge on the app telling her that there was something waiting for her, but she hadn't taken the time to see who they were from. At the same time, however, she didn't remember the device notifying her that someone had been trying to reach her. She slowly peaked her eyes open and saw his name in bold at the top of the list of messages.

Almost immediately she closed out of the app and tossed the mobile across the couch. It landed with a thud against the armrest by her feet. Covering her face with her hands, she took in a deep breath and held it for a matter of moments. This was exactly what she had wanted, wasn't it? She wanted him to reach out ot her, but at the same time she knew that they were going to fall back into the same spiral they had been spinning in for the last year if she answered him right now. They were trying to better themselves and save their marriages. Not save the relationship they had built with one another, right?

At this point, she really wasn't sure what they were trying to do. All she knew was that she wanted to pick up her mobile and give him a call. She wanted nothing more than to hear his voice and know that everything was going to be okay. She wanted to know that they were going to work everything out together, since that's the way they always seemed to work. But she knew better. Or at least that's what she kept telling herself.

She leaned forward, reaching out out to pick up the device and she pressed the home button lighting up the screen. She started at the time on the clock. 4:45 am. What on earth was she doing awake? She slowly slid open the screen on her mobile and looked at the messages that had been waiting there for her.

Just twenty short minutes ago he was trying to get a hold of her, but she wasn't there to answer readily. Twenty minutes ago he was thinking about her instead of his wife. If only she had checked her phone a little earlier, then maybe things would be different.

Pushing away the thoughts that were starting to flood her mind, she clicked on his name and skimmed over the words on the screen. Her heart ached as she read over what he had to say. Everything that he portrayed in three short messages were things that she had been feeling herself since she walked away. Up until now, she hadn't' been able to even admit that to herself. Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes and allowed herself to type up a response. Maybe if she didn't want the words appear on her screen, she'd actually be able to hit send.

4:46 AM: I want to mean the things I said, but my heart says something completely different. I haven't been sleeping well. Have you?

She exhaled as she pressed send. Only time would tell if he really missed her or if he was just testing the waters to see if she'd respond. She hoped that by ending the message with a question it would entice him to respond, even if he really didn't want to talk to her.

4:47 AM: You responded… Is everything okay? Do I need to come get you?

She smiled at the screen. He was always so caring and thoughtful, even if he seemed to worry a tad too much. Especially when she would reply in the wee hours of the morning.

4:47 AM: I'd be lying if I said that everything was okay, but you don't need to come get me. I don't think that us seeing each other is the right thing to do right now.

4:48 AM: Why not? If it's what we both want, then we should give our hearts what they want.

4:49 AM: Just so we can fight about the fact that it won't ever just be the two of us?

4:49 AM: I'm so sick of fighting.

4:49 AM: I just want to be with you. I don't care about everything else that is going on. I'm going crazy not seeing you or even just talking to you. I need you...

Her breath caught in her throat at his last message. As much as she hated the fighting, she knew that she needed to be careful around him. Too many feelings were starting to get involved and they were making her question her feelings about her marriage and the sleeping man in her bed. She shook her head furiously and pushed the thoughts aside. Now was not the time to be thinking about her husband.

She glanced down at her screen and noticed the bubble flashing dots at the bottom of the screen. Part of her wanted to just shut off her phone and go back to bed, snuggle up next to her husband and spend the better part of the next hour or so lost in his embrace and kisses. However, the stronger part of her wanted to continue this conversation just to see where it goes.

The soft buzzing of her mobile pulled her back out of her thoughts and she looked down at the messages on the screen. A soft smile pulled at the corner of her lips. Sighing contentedly, she sunk down in the sofa and typed off a response.

. . . . . . . . .

A sense of panic rushed through her body and she jolted straight up, trying to take a few deep breaths as she looked around the room in an attempt to figure out where she was. The last thing she remembered was falling asleep on the couch in the sitting room, and now she was laying in bed with the blankets tucked in tightly around her.

Glancing to the side, she noticed her husband sleeping soundly. Her panicked awakening didn't even cause him to stir. Frustrated with his lack of concern for her, she thought about her course of action for a brief second and then swiftly kicked him in the leg.

A muffled groan rose up from the other side of the bed, but otherwise there was no response. Rolling her eyes, she swung her leg out again and also smacked his back, hard enough to sting her hand slightly. This time she got the reaction she had been hoping for.

He rolled over onto his back and scrubbed his hands over his face, rubbing his eyes before lowering them back to his side. "I was sleeping, you know?"

"I'm pretty sure I was sleeping too, but you felt the need to move me," she grumbled, crossing her arms over her chest as she slumped down against her pillow. "You could have at least woken me up before you moved me."

"I tried," he replied, laughing softly as he reached an arm out and wrapped it around her shoulders. He pulled her close to his chest and smiled when he felt her nuzzle her head against his chest. "You mumbled something at me and then turned your face into the armrest of the couch."

"I was comfortable," she pouted.

"Didn't look like it to me," he replied, squeezing her shoulder tightly. "Besides, I was lonely in this big bed all by myself."

She laughed, wrapping her arm around his waist and squeezing him tight. "You didn't even know I had left. Hell, it took me kicking you twice and smacking you to get you to wake up just now."

He leaned down and pressed his lips to the top of her head. "I knew you had left. Something deep in my soul told me that I was alone."

She smacked his stomach gently. "Just admit it, you had no idea until you rolled over and reached out for me. Just like you do every night around four am."

Furrowing his brow, he looked down at her puzzled. As though she sensed the odd look, she tilted her head back and smiled slyly at him. She snickered briefly before leaning back forward and continued listening to his heartbeat.

Closing her eyes softly, she let out a gentle hum. That subconscious cuddle session was one of her favorite things to experience in the middle of the night. Every night that she was roused from her slumber to cuddle, made for the next day to be slightly more enjoyable. Even if she was missing a key amount of time from her normal night's sleep.

He opened his mouth to respond, but closed it again quickly. It was best he not point out that he had no idea what she was talking about. Even if he did, his mind was most likely not in the same sweet place that she probably thought it was when he would reach out for her. It was not often that he remembered his dreams, but he knew what he had been dreaming about just before he found the empty bed. He was certain that she would not be pleased with where his mind had been at that exact moment.

As his mind drifted off to thoughts of his dreams, he heard the soft buzzing of one of their mobile devices. It sounded as though it was right beside him, indicating that it was his own, but right now his focus needed to be on the woman in his arms. The messages coming in could wait until later in the morning.

She had heard the buzzing and almost stirred from his arms, but she knew that this was where she was supposed to be. Whoever was trying to get ahold of her had to know that she was most likely asleep. Just because she may have answered them at this ungodly hour one night, didn't mean she was willing to do it again or that she was even able to without drawing suspicion to herself. Tomorrow was another day.

. . . . . . . .

5:01 AM: When I can see you again?

5:01 AM: When we quit lying to everyone we are supposed to love…

5:02 AM: That could be an entire lifetime. I can't wait that long to hold you in my arms. Don't you know that I love you?

5:02 AM: Yes I know and you know that I love you too…

5:02 AM: But?

5:04 AM: I hate that I love you...

[celestialsushi]

It’s Just Tea (Undertale Shipping Pride Month 2017, Day 9: Alphore)

(Wow, long title, lol. Anyway)

First and foremost, happy birthday to my friend, @the-intuitive-special, who started Undertale Shipping Pride Month :D This fic is primarily written for her:3 Second, Alphore (Alphys x Asgore) landed on her birthday this year and, seeing as she ships it, I thought this would be a great birthday gift for her :D I hope you all enjoy it as well!

(Honestly, this ship needs more love; it’s so cute!)

~~~

“It’s o-okay. Y-You’re fine. I-It’s just… tea. J-Just tea with… with…”

She couldn’t even bring herself to say his name. Just the thought was turning her face hot and sending her heart pounding like a madwoman. Sighing loudly, she threw herself on her bed--making sure that it was in its sleeping state rather than its storage cube state. The last thing she needed was a physical injury to add to her already frenzied mental state.

“DARLING~!” came a loud voice as soon as its owner popped in through the door. Mettaton looked around, expecting the little dino darling to be right there watching anime, but to his surprise, she was nowhere in sight. “Well, that’s odd…” he muttered. Stepping over the threshold, he began wandering around, searching for his body’s creator.

“Oh for… whyyyy him and whyyyy now…?” Alphys moaned. She grabbed a pillow and threw it over her face, screeching into it.

Unfortunately for her, Mettaton heard her distressed noises and came immediately bolting into the room. “Alphys, darling, are you all right??”

The jig was up. She threw the pillow up over her head, missing its intended spot by about a foot. “N-No.”

It didn’t take the robot long to figure out what was going on. “A date, is it? I must say, darling, that looks rather ravishing on you! It’s too bad I have way too much on my plate right now and no time for dating, otherwise I’d snatch you away in a nanosecond!”

She frowned. “Thanks, Mettaton…”

“I mean it, darling; you really do look lovely. Whoever you’re going out to dinner with is a lucky monster. Or… is it perhaps a human?”

“Monster!! Monster. Th-They’re a monster, M-Mettaton…” she said, bolting upright to quickly correct her friend. “I-I have no i-interest in h-humans…”

He flashed her an incredulous smile. “We’ll save that discussion for another day, Alphy-dear. Now then, where are you going?”

“Uh, n-not dinner, like you th-thought. I-It’s just tea…”

“Tea? Well, my my my, that DOES narrow down the list a bit.” He began pacing back and forth, watching Alphys sweat bullets out the corner of his uncovered eye. “And… this person you’re having tea with… she’s really impressed with you, isn’t she?”

“W-Wrong again, M-Mettaton…”

“You mean she’s NOT impressed with you?”

“N-No!” Alphys quickly covered up her mouth. She REALLY needed to get a hold of herself; the overreacting was way too obvious. “I-I mean… it’s not a sh-she…”

“Oh! Okay then… that definitely narrows the list down…” He continued to pace.

“Y-You know it wouldn’t have been Undyne a-anyway… not after w-we…”

Mettaton stopped and gave her a sympathetic glance. “Ah, yes, I see. Well wait, didn’t you and her meet for coffee yesterday?”

“W-Well, yes, but what else w-would crazy close friends do? Besides, we reconciled ages ago.”

“I can’t keep up with ALL the gossip, darling; touring does that to a poor, out-of-the-loop robot. But I see. And well, of COURSE you two would be ‘crazy close’, having seen--”

“Where THIS conversation is going and I’d LIKE to change the subject, IF YOU DON’T MIND…!” Alphys’ now puffed-out cheeks were a brilliant shade of ruddy tangerine.

“So,” Mettaton said, continuing on as though nothing had happened. “‘He’, huh? It isn’t…” he muttered, stopping dead in his tracks. “Darling, you didn’t finally woo the KING of ALL MONSTERS, did you??”

Just hearing the title was enough to make Alphys fall backward on her bed. After a few moments of silence passed, she sat back up, staring at the oddly silent Mettaton. “Wh-Why aren’t you making a fuss over this?”

He shook his head. “Darling, I can see that you’ve finally attained a dream of yours. For so long, I’ve heard you pine after the king. And here he is, right here, waiting just for YOU. Alphy, dear, you’ve really struck a vein of amazing luck buried deep within the crust of life’s surface. How can  I ever make light of that?”

That was oddly thoughtful of him, she mused. “W-Well… th-thank you…”

“Hey, you helped me achieve MY impossible dream. We as monsters all did, finally coming to the surface. I can’t think little of a situation like this at all, not when a dream is finally coming to fruition. So!!” He sprang to her bedside, the energy in his voice dramatically returned and increased threefold. “I am going to help you get ready for this big event! It’s your first date together, right??”

“W-Well, y-yes. A-And thank you, M-Mettaton, but…!”

“But NOTHING, darling! I shall make you the beautiful monster you are on the inside and show the entire world the TRUE Alphys! Ohh, you will be as radiant as the stars and as intense as a spotlight~!”

It was no good; he was on one of his tangents and wouldn’t be stopping anytime soon, especially not with Alphys’ lack of assertiveness. “...But it’s just tea…” she squeaked.

~~~

*Ding-dong*

It was too hot. Too hot to be standing outside in July in what amounted to a deluxe cupcake of a dress, frilly layers and fabric everywhere. And the hat, the wide-rimmed lady’s sun hat tied under her chin with a ribbon… oh, it was adorable--the whole outfit was, in fact--but much too hot for a sweltering day like this.

Alphys grumbled, muttering to herself about anime-sharing regrets when she heard footsteps behind the door. Standing bolt upright, she could feel the color draining from her face as the door opened to reveal a nicely--but casually dressed--Asgore.

“Ahh, good afternoon, Alphys! I’m…” He paused a moment, adjusting the collar of his buttoned Hawaiian shirt. “...Very glad you could make it today! Please, come in!” He stepped out of the way, gently gesturing for her to step over the threshold.

“Th-Thank you…” she murmured, grabbing some of the ample ruffles of her skirt and trying her best to keep them from falling on her face. After a little trouble negotiating the doorway, she finally made it inside, happy to be in the sweet embrace of air conditioned atmosphere.

She turned around a bit, taking a good look at her surroundings. She hadn’t been to Asgore’s apartment yet, even after a few years on the surface, but it had the same homey feeling that his house back in New Home had had. Country-like decor hung here and there on the walls, and there was the inviting scent of something having just been pulled out of the oven. She closed her eyes to take it in.

When she’d finished soaking up the scent, she realized that Asgore had… had been staring at her for the past few moments. “O-Oh!! I’m s-sorry, I probably should do something… o-or say something…”

Asgore shook his head. “Oh no, you’re fine, Alphys. I was just… I was just admiring you,” he said, clearing his throat. “That dress is rather stunning, after all.”

“O-Oh, this? W-Well, it’s kind of funny, actually. Mettaton was looking for show ideas and I ended up introducing him to this ‘Gone with the Wind’ anime, and… w-well, suffice it to say, I think he’s… he’s on a southern culture rampage?” She giggled tremulously, adjusting her glasses and swallowing a little. “B-But yeah, that’s exactly the reason I’m dressed like a southern cupcake. I have no idea how I feel about it at the moment, to be honest…”

“Not that I want to sway your judgment,” said Asgore, heading to the kitchen and beckoning for her to follow. “But I find it rather charming. It really enhances your beautiful features.”

If Alphys had been sitting on the barstool, she’d have fallen off. Thankfully, the volume of her skirt had hidden the fact that her knees had buckled a bit. Heck, even the cage under her many layers had helped keep her standing. “U-Uh… th-thank you…”

“Now then,” said Asgore, quickly turning to a pot of hot water on the stove. “What kind of tea would you like? The grocery store down the road has quite a selection, so I’ve been able to stock up on many kinds. What mood are you in?”

“You,” she muttered. Her eyes flew wide open. “I-I MEAN… I’d like whatever YOU are having, aheheh… I’m… r-really not too picky.”

She could’ve sworn she saw his cheeks redden a bit as he looked back at the kettle.

“Ah, all right. Then… I shall make us both some golden flower tea. And as we’re having the same,I’ll infuse the whole pot; it’ll save time.”

Alphys nodded absentmindedly. Had she just told Asgore she was in the mood for HIM? Was there any way to go back in time and check that for memory accuracy? Suddenly she found herself feeling like a dippy teenager in one of the many highschool love triangle anime she owned.

A few moments later, Asgore had turned around, now carrying a tray. “I was going to suggest that we sit here in the kitchen for our tea, but I realize you may have some trouble with the barstools. The living room might be a better location.”

The little monster had to snap herself out of her daze, turning to look out the way they’d come in. “O-Oh! R-Right… that should be… yeah, that should work…” She led the way out of the kitchen, marching over to one of the couches. Asgore may have been a big monster, but at least his couches weren’t too high off the ground. She did her best to climb up onto the seat, pausing a moment when she heard a loud clink coming from Asgore’s tea set. She quickly flipped around on the seat to face forward, soon realizing exactly why that noise had occurred.

In the cloud of fabric, she couldn’t see anything. Asgore, on the other hand…

She was thankful she was wearing bloomers.

“OH!” Alphys yelped. Frantically, she tried as hard as she could to push down the skirt, but all she ended up doing was flipping forward, her dress holding her dangling over the ground, between the couch and the coffee table.

Asgore quickly got up from his chair. “Alphys! Are you all right?” He stood there, looking at her like a confused puppy, waiting for instructions.

Thoughts and images of Mettaton wheeled through her mind as she cussed the robot out under her breath. He probably knew this was going to happen… somehow, he had a way of putting her in embarrassing situations. Call it natural talent or general assholery. But she should’ve realized by now that to avoid getting into an embarrassing MTT-Brand Moment™, you had to be direct, put your foot down, and just say no. ...This was, admittedly, something that Alphys needed to work on.

“Y-Yeah… Asgore… I think I’m all right?” she said, defeat tinting her voice.

“Would you like me to get you down from there? That cannot be comfortable…”

“N-No, it’s fine. I’m o-okay.” A few awkward moments of her twiddling her thumbs passed before she said, “I c-can’t reach the cookies, though…”

Smiling, Asgore stood up, gave her a small plate with some cookies, and moved to sit down on the couch right beside her. Even with the skirt-induced height, he still towered over her while standing, but while sitting, the height difference had somehow become more tolerable. “Just let me know if you’d like more; I would be more than happy to get them for you. And, of course, to hand you your tea when you’d like it.”

Alphys tried to ignore the lump forming in her throat, but no matter how much she swallowed, it stayed, and brought its lacrimal friends with it. “D-Damn it…” she muttered, trying to quickly wipe away any evidence of her sensitive nature.

Asgore gently rested a hand on her shoulder. “What is the matter, Alphys?”

She shook her head, trying to dismiss her thoughts. “I mean, I-I guess it’s insignific-cant, but… well… h-have you ever wanted something so badly, that wh-when you finally got it, you have absolutely no idea HOW you got it, and you’re worried y-you’re in some kind of dream and will lose it as soon as you… as soon as you wake up?”

The large goatlike monster nodded so gently, almost immediately upon hearing her question. “Every day.” Looking up and beyond Alphys, over to the window by the front door, he surveyed the scenery outside. “When I think of what I promised my people, and about how differently things came to be, it seems like a dream every single day.”

That made sense. He was always a benevolent king, eager to help others and really get to know them… of course he would put his people first. Even now, with no throne, he still was concerned for the welfare of all monsters.

“So I suppose…” he continued, “that I do understand how you’re feeling.” He took a sip of tea that, amount-wise, looked more like a pint from her perspective. “How about yourself? If it’s not too personal…”

Alphys shook her head. “I-It shouldn’t be… I-I mean, well, this IS a date after all, aheh… and it has to do with that.” She turned to Asgore as best she could in the cupcake dress, the mistiness of tears starting to cloud her vision a bit. “I… w-well, I can’t tell you exactly how long I’ve been in love with you, Asgore. Maybe since the first time I met you, who knows?” She paused a moment. “Oh, w-wow… this feels so weird actually saying all of this to you… like, finally, after all those times I practiced it in the mi--Uhhhhhhh you know what? I should probably get back on track…”

The former king chuckled. “It is all right; please continue.”

“Anyway, uh… y-yeah. I’m just terrified that… well, th-that this is all just s-some crazy amazing dream where I end up with one of my crushes, only to have it all ripped away from me as soon as I wake up. Silly as it is, I’ve actually started pinching myself when I get up first thing, just to see how much of all this is real.”

With a tender smile, Asgore gently cupped the side of her head with his hand. “Let me be the first to assure you that this is very real. Everything that happened last month was very real as well. And you most certainly asked me out then, too.”

Her cheeks flushed a peachy pink. Closing her eyes, she rested her tiny hand on the back of his, her fingers lost in the fluff. “Th-Thank you… just… thank you.”

“It is quite my pleasure,” he said. “If we’re being honest, I would like to think that I first had the tiniest inklings of fancying you… mmm, probably back when… when you’d been the royal scientist for not even six months.”

Alphys’ eyes flew wide open. “Th-That long ago??”

“As I said, they weren’t large feelings. But rather, tiny thoughts and musings. They weren’t allowed to grow to full fruition until you had declared your love to me after the kidnapping, but they were most certainly there.”

“B-But… what about Toriel?�� The little pangolin-like monster’s eyebrows creased. Admittedly, this was a topic she was concerned about but wasn’t sure how to approach. Was now the right moment?

But Asgore shook his head. “She is fully contented where she is. If I weren’t to move on, how could I ever see myself in a healthy relationship with anyone else? With you? I can’t leave myself in that kind of emotional bondage.”

Her cheeks flushed as she viciously fought back thoughts that were decidedly inappropriate for the moment, but still… she felt relieved. “C-Can I just say… that I’m… a little more at ease after hearing you say that?”

The larger monster smiled. “Well, of course. And besides, it isn’t healthy to go into a relationship with someone while carrying extra baggage. I want to start fresh. And I would be honored to start fresh with you.”

Alphys giggled, trying to fight back a fresh batch of tears that was trying to spread down her cheeks. “W-Wow, I still can’t believe… of all people, th-that you’d choose me.”

“Ah, yes, about that…” he said, sitting up a bit. “I was going to tell you why, but we got side-tracked. Anyway, I came into the lab one day and you were feverishly typing away at your computer. I didn’t realize at the time, but you were online, writing a heated defense of your favorite anime. Um, ‘Mew Mew,’ was it?”

Her heart leapt and the tears dissipated almost immediately. “‘Mew Mew Kissy Cutie,’ yes! You remembered the title! Anyway, yes, someone was criticizing her character arc in season two and I just HAD to tell them about the sheer brilliance behind what the director was doing. It’s amazing how these people tend to miss these things; they’re just going in and looking at everything at face value!”

The warmth that manifested on Asgore’s face was impossible to miss. “And there is why I fell in love with you, even if my feelings were just beginning back then. Your notable fervor struck me that day, even if you didn’t notice I was there. You were so strong in your convictions and passionately defending them… it was quite the sight.”

“O-Oh…!” she said, averting her eyes. “W-Well… th-thank you. But really, they needed someone to put them in their place… and if someone else wasn’t going to do it to defend Mew Mew’s honor, well, I was going to be that monster myself.” She glanced down at her teacup.

Without saying a word, Asgore understood her signal, took his hand from Alphys’ cheek, and gave her the tea. As she thanked him and took a sip, he looked about, thoughtfully. “You know… we should probably arrange another date like this. I couldn’t think of a better location than an intimate setting such as my home or yours, and I would love to see this anime that you are so passionate about. Also... I am very much interested in finding out more about those two robots who were… kissing, if I recall correctly? I wonder what their story is…”

Alphys could’ve died right then and there, her only lingering regret being that she couldn’t have spent more time with Asgore. But as she was still very much alive, the regret was nonexistent. “Oh!! Yes! We can go to my place next time; I have a HUGE library that we can choose from. I’d recommend that we start with the very beginning of ‘Mew Mew Kissy Cutie,’ and then move on to ‘Kiss! Love! Robot Taisen’ right after that. They’re both REALLY good shows, but we need to skip the last episode of ‘Taisen’ because it was SUCH a letdown! I mean, after all the brilliance that was the entire show, they utterly WRECKED IT when Todosuke went and--uh, whoops, almost spoiled it! Uhhh…”

Asgore chuckled. “We should watch it soon, then.”

“Uh,” she said, unsure of what his words were indicating. “Y-You don’t mean that this d-date is almost over… do you?”

He shook his head. “Heavens, no, I am not ready for this date to end anytime soon. I just wanted to ensure that we would have a second date.”

She felt like the luckiest monster in the world. “W-Well… I’m glad, then. Because I feel the same.”

They sat in silence for a few moments, just taking the warm, sweet atmosphere in. Asgore was the first to break it, however. “So… tell me, what other anime have you shared with Mettaton? Has he gone on a kick for each of those too?”

Alphys chuckled and rolled her eyes. This was going to be a weird, convoluted story. But she knew that Asgore wouldn’t have minded at all. After all, it was her company he enjoyed, because she was who she was. And she didn’t need any more reassurance than that.

[littlesmxlones-blog]

Kidnapped & Escaped || Daudrey