#whoever finds my spelling mistakes may happily keep them I am. so tired

[definitely-not-an-alb]

ooh, how do you think molly would grift essek?

Alright. Let’s grift Essek.

First I need to note that any objection along the line of ‘Essek is too intelligent to fall for grifts’ is unnecessary, because whatever you think of Essek’s specific characterisation, assuming you are to intelligent to fall for a grift is one of the major ways people fall for them, in a ‘renowned high pressure social group researcher proclaiming on twitter that Sissy Porn is real and dangerous’ kinda way (look it up it’s some hysterical terf bs).

Gonna use that joke as a sidenote that if I am conflating grifts and high pressure social groups in this, it’s ‘cause as far as I care the difference is how self-aware the people running the show are. Watch any MLM-Doku (and I think we can all agree MLMs are grifts) and you’ll inevitably get to the part about weird aspiration culture bs and group pressure. It’s all one soup.

With that out of the way, let’s establish a baseline: What’s Molly’s reason for grifting Essek? Probably money and also the fun of it/being bored. Considering Kingsley abandoned his perfectly fine shipping company job to run off to be pirate king, I don’t think ‘Molly keeps grifting long after the M9 have become financially stable for shits and giggles and because Jester enjoys it’ is too outlandish a projection. Additionally, I don’t think Molly is great with impulse control nor this whole thing where current actions cause future consequences.

Now; why would Essek fall for a grift. Grifting relies on the dupe wanting something more than having good sense about it. Most people want money, so most girfts are structured around greed, but we know money is no object to Essek (though this does make him a juicy target �� what he would barely miss might make a good haul for any grifter). We do know he is primarily motivated by knowledge instead, as well as a desire to be recognized as intelligent and exceptional. Additionally, we know he needs (in the character development sense) The Power of Friendship. Lastly, I think it’s fair to say he subconsciously longs for excitement (happy, fulfilled bureaucrats don’t become heretic spies; nor do they befriend a gang of mercenaries; implicitly, Essek is happier living the life of a wayward refugee-adventurer wizard than that of an Evil Gay Vizier Court Wizard or whatever papers a Shadowhand stamps nine-to-five.).

Being a paranoid bastard makes him a harder target, though the fact that we know he has fallen for someone’s bs before (I’m counting the spectacularly bad decision that is him allying with the Assembly as falling for a grift here. That’s a stupid decision to make!) makes him an easier target. Being so socially isolated makes him an easier victim, too, though his general rejection of people and clear discomfort with social interactions makes him an unlikely target for something like a romance scam. Essek’s relationship to tolerating bullshit is a weird one; on the one hand, he does put up with Jester’s (and the rest of the Nein’s) shenanigans, on the other he clearly knows how to and dares to tell someone to fuck off, and there’s that time he just ditches everyone via teleport (hilarious). So boundaries-wise, he could go either way. Lastly, I’d argue he’s at least somewhat impulsive or at least not risk averse. Always remember we are looking at an NPC next to Sword’n’Sorcery Adventurers – Essek might look cautious next to ruin-trawling wizards, but compare him to Gundula, 55, who works in Insurance and just clicked on a phishing link to claim her Totally Real Oilve Garden Gift Card, and you’ll see what I mean – most people are too risk-averse and unimpulsive to, again, commit treason via international conspiracy and then run off without a moment’s notice to dig around a cursed-ass ruin to save the world from a Cronenbergian nightmare.

Conclusion: He’s rich, he’s bored, he loves pretending to be a spy or grand discoverer, he wants to buy your dodgy foreign papers and incredible discoveries about the Luxon so, so badly and he has absolutely no one left in his life who’ll tell him it’s a bad idea.

So, for example, Molly could Voynich him. All he needs is a battered notebook and some writing supplies, whatever knowledge of what wizards’ and alchemists’ and spies’ scribbles look like he can easily pick up from traveling with the Nein and an opportunity to ask Essek to have a look at this encoded notebook he’s been lugging around all over the continent with him, why, he was at this party in Zadash and everyone else was some boring old pompous wizard (such a bore!) so he pickpocketed one of them, just for the fun of it, but, well, turns out neither Caleb nor Beau can make head nor tails of the weird sign code it’s written in (how tragic, if only someone happened to be so much cleverer than both of them!) and if Essek wants to have a look Molly would be more than happy to lighten his pack. For a small pittance, of course.

What’s small change to Essek is probably pretty nice to have for Molly, even by that level and especially if we’re mostly doing this for the fun of it. Essek gets to fall face first into his desire to show up Caleb, Beau and potentially an unknown Assembly member with his clearly superior decoding, espionage and wizardly skills and gain Secret Knowledge, maybe even Assembly Secrets on top of that.

Arguably, this one does rely very heavily on the fact that it’s hard to prove a negative, or in this case, hard to prove a barely-literate conman’s scribbles are just that. Do keep in mind Essek doesn’t know Molly is a habitual conman, but even so, it’s not a fantastic con (Essek isn’t dumb and knows his arcana after all and Molly doesn’t, or at least not enough to make a proper Voynich).

You could make it a better Voynich by getting Caleb in on it, but instead let’s pep it and turn it into a proper Real Stradivari by changing the hints that this manuscript might be legit to being alchemy-related and adding in a shill. Let’s go with Jester, because she’s down to clown, can lie and has a way with Essek’s boundaries.

So this time around, we aren’t asking Essek outright to buy our bogus notes – instead Molly gives him the whole spiel, hands him the notebook, fucks off with as little time to actually look at it as possible before Jester enters the scene to ask what THAT is and go oh it’s about ALCHEMY well, that DOES look like the signs she saw around Yezza’s house, pretty suuuure, oh, do you think it might be Yezza’s? Do you think Yezza might want it? Do you think she should ask Molly to sell it to her so she can give it to Yezza as a present to be nice because she’s such a nice friend who does nice things?

Honestly, the money part is optional if this is wholly about making Essek look up to see if the ceiling does indeed say gullible (and if Jester is involved, it might well do so! Always better to check, with her!), but a proper Violin Drop concludes with the Grifter returning to take their worthless thing back only to be asked to sell by the victim, who thinks the grifter doesn’t know what worth he has. If it was real, offering to buy the notebook would mean Essek outsmarted a minimum of three people (Beau and Caleb can’t crack the code, Molly is too dumb and illiterate to know valuable research notes from the morning paper) and gets his hands on potentially unknown-to-him luxon-related secrets! Alas, it’s not real, as he will realize soon.

So these are two (related) ways to scam Essek. But there’s a third one I want to mention one that is a lot of cinematic fun and I didn’t know had a name until Wikipedia told me no one does it irl (boo! That’s no fun!). It takes a lot of prep, math, and a lot of people and combines Essek’s obsession with the Luxon’s secrets and Molly’s penchant for passing himself off as psychic.

Molly would need something people in Rosohna bet on, like some kind of sport, preferably one with only two results and places people do said betting on said sport in groups. I’m assuming this exists on account of gambling and sports being culturally pretty universal concepts that love to go together.

Anyway. Imagine you’re Essek Thelyss, and one day a bunch of weirdos show up in court with a piece of the god you’re atheistically-heretically obsessed with. A few weeks later, you, having your ears to the ground about new developments regarding said not-god-pieces, hear one of the weirdos has made a name for himself as a outright oracle, correctly predicting the outcome of Fantasy-Dodgeball (Rosohnas’ favourite sport) perfectly six weeks running. He swears it’s because proximity to the Luxon amplified his inborn and long-trained psychic powers to predict the future.

Now, this is obviously bullshit. Except if Essek, being regrettably acquainted with the weirdos, were to ask, Molly would certainly confirm that sure, he has mystic powers and certainly they were amplified by the Luxon and predicting sport results is a hobby of his wherever they go, does Essek want to see? and lead Essek to a bar where every regular can swear on whatever he likes that Molly has correctly predicted the results of Fantasy-Dodgeball since the first week of being in Rosohna, in fact since before he himself knew the rules or track-record of any of the teams. Not only that, but there’s a second bar full of people Molly can introduce him too. And if he wants, he can certainly come back for a drink in one of them again next week when Molly has done it once more. Just call on Molly, he’ll tell you the time and date to meet some true believers, not all of whom can possibly be his shills.

(And, incidentally, barely worth mentioning, really, since Molly’s psychic blessings from the Luxon are so accurate, he has Exciting Business Opportunities for anyone willing to place more than their weekly betting budget in his trust, and he’d love for Essek to take a look at his powers. For a small compensation of his time, of course.)

Of course Molly can’t predict the results of Fantasy-Dodgeball. Instead, the first week of downtime in Rosohna, he found out what people like to bet on in Rosohna and where, picked one or two places in each district, go there and make predictions with a fifty-fifty split, then eliminate each watering hole where he was wrong each week, slowly cutting his audience back to only people who are getting to know him as That Outlander Who Always Knows The Results of Fantasy-Dodgeball, all the while escalating the story from him being just some dude betting and drinking with the guys to the whole Chosen By The Luxon thing. Considering this is a double-scam involving a faith aspect, he might very well still cash in in places he’s been wrong once only since victims of faith-based scams are very likely to overlook inconsistencies in their scammer’s stories or promised results. By the time Essek gets involved Molly’d be down to one or two places of true believers coming to him for ‘always accurate’ tips and a bunch of other people all over Rosohna he might get some money off based on the faith-aspect. And now perhaps one intrigued high-ranking government official who’s more than willing to overlook the hereticism inherent to the whole thing and is instead very likely to fall in the academic glue-trap of trying to disprove something clearly bogus that you do kind of want to believe in because like.

Wouldn’t it be cool? If the Luxon had more awesome powers? And one of them happened to fall in Essek’s hands, with no oversight and no need to cooperate with someone like Trent or Ludinus? Would he not want it to be real?

Anyway. The real answer to this question is: Enlist Beau to send bogus stuffed bills to Essek’s secretary. Bureaucrat on bureaucrat violence, let’s go.

[agustminsuga]

Sihyuk Academy Ch.6

Genre: BTS X Reader Supernatural AU

Word Count: 2.7K

Warnings: none

It was another week and a half before you were able to return to classes. The boys had been checking up on you constantly upon your return to classes. But you had been avoiding Yoongi like the plague. Even in your fighting class, you glued yourself to Namjoon’s side. Which led you to your class today, hugging Namjoon on the far side of the room.

“You know, people are going to begin to think we are dating” Namjoon says with a chuckle.

“As funny as that would be, I know we view each other in a different way” You respond, waiting for the class to clear out.

“When will you talk to him?” He asked softly.

“Not yet… I don’t know when, but not yet” You whisper.

“May I know why?”

“I almost killed him. I can’t look at him without that thought haunting me. So once I feel ready I will speak to him.”

Namjoon nods, motioning for you to follow Charles to the gym. You knew today your training was going to become a bit more difficult, especially once you saw 2 pools, one filled with water.

“Miss Y/N, today we are going to start focusing on your ability to control water. As you can see we have plenty of water here for you to practice with. We also asked a friend or two of yours to come and help us out.” Charles says, motioning towards the door.

Jimin and Hoseok make their way into the room, smiling softly at you.

“These two were kind enough to volunteer to help out. We will start with Hoseok, because the consequences aren’t as severe if you should make a mistake. Myself and Namjoon will dump a bucket of water over their heads, your only job is to stop the water from actually touching them.” Charles instructed.

You nodded, knowing there was no use arguing. So you simply tried to put yourself into the correct mindset. You felt that trying to control water may be your easiest ability to learn, hence why you were starting with it. Namjoon gave you a sad smile before stepping onto the ladder behind Hoseok.

“It’s simple, once you learn to control the water over Hoseok, we will place Jimin in the empty pool and give you your final test. Sound fair?” Charles asked, before signaling to Namjoon to begin.

You took a deep breath, ready to give this everything you had. What you didn’t keep in mind, was how difficult it was going to be. Several hours later and you had a pounding headache, while Hoseok was soaking wet. The remainder of your group of friends had come to see your progress, including Layla, which made you want to try that much harder.

“Y/N, we can stop for the night, it’s almost 9pm.” Hoseok said, wiping the water from his eyes once again.

“Do you personally want to stop? As in, are you fed up with this for the night?” You ask back, rubbing at your temples.

“No, I will stop once you say too.” He answers.

“Then we will keep going. I am not leaving this gym until I can at least somewhat control this.” You raise your voice.

“At least take a break for a minute, Y/N. You look like you’re going to pass out” Jimin called from the bleachers beside you.

You turned to glance and him and the group behind him.

“I can’t, if I don’t keep going I’m never going to get this” You sighed.

The boys remained silent, Charles signaling for Namjoon to continue. You took a breath, trying to regain focus on the task at hand. And eventually you say some progress, you were able to deflect a portion of the water from Hoseok. This small progress made you smile, finally, you were getting a hand on this ability. It was another 2 hours before you were able to keep the water from touching Hoseok at all, gaining a large cheer from everyone watching.

“Y/N, do you want to attempt this with Jimin now?” Hoseok asked.

“I don’t feel comfortable doing that yet, I don’t want to risk getting him wet.” You answer.

“It’s ok, Y/N, a little water won’t kill me” Jimin says, stepping into the empty pool.

“I just don’t feel ready.”

“You’ll be fine. It’s time for me to risk getting a little wet anyways.”

You glanced over at Namjoon, his nod signaling it was ok to continue. So you looked back to Jimin, getting yourself ready for what was to come. The only mistake you made this time? You made direct eye contact with Jimin, instantly falling under his spell. So when Namjoon dumped the water over Jimin’s head, you did nothing to stop it. It was only a matter of seconds before the transformation happened and Jimin was falling over into the small pool. You dropped to the floor, the mix of exhaustion and the remains of the spell draining you of any energy you had.

“Y/N, are you alright?!” You heard Taehyung shout.

You tried to nod, but didn’t even have the strength to do that. You felt someone pull you into their arms, but you were too even think of who it could be.

“She’s alright, just exhausted, she needs to rest. We can pick this back up again on Monday alright. For now, just get her to her room so she can rest.” Charles called, his voice sounding distant.

“You’re sure she’s ok? She doesn’t look alright” A voice you knew to be Seokjin’s asked.

“She is, don’t worry. She has been using her mind a lot today, so she just needs to sleep all of this off. I’ll carry her back to her room” Namjoon said, pulling you from whoever’s arms you were in.

You felt safe once Namjoon pulled you into his chest, leaving the gym.

“Thanks Namjoon, for everything” You whispered.

“It’s nothing, you don’t have to thank me at all.”

“Hey, Namjoon, wait up” A voice called from behind you both.

Namjoon turned to see Yoongi running to catch up. He had hoped you wouldn’t notice he had come, but sadly you did. He felt you push weakly at his chest to be put down. And to avoid dropping you, he complied.

“Y/N, do you mind if I walk back with the two of you?” He asked, avoiding eye contact.

“That’s fine… I guess” You answered, grabbing onto Namjoon’s hand for support.

You all walked back to the dorms in silence then. You weren’t really sure you were ready to face Yoongi yet, but it looked like you didn’t have much of a choice. He didn’t say much once they got you to your room, just that he was sorry for pushing you so much during the fight. And you apologized for almost killing him, which he happily accepted if it meant you would speak to him again. While you still didn’t trust yourself around him, you knew you couldn’t continue to avoid him. So he helped Namjoon help you.

“Can you grab her a bottle of water from her closet?” Namjoon asked, placing you on your bed.

“Her closet?” Yoongi questioned.

“She keeps a few cases of water in there, it makes sense in my opinion.” Namjoon laughed.

Yoongi walked into your closet to retrieve the water while Namjoon took your shoes off. It was a routine really, after practices like tonight, Namjoon would help you get ready for bed. Because, for some reason, when you were mentally drained you could no longer function in general. Yoongi wasn’t aware of this until he came back into the main room to find Namjoon placing a t-shirt and a pair of shorts onto you.

“What exactly are you two?” He asked, sitting on the end of the bed.

“I am simply a friend. Our relationship isn’t what most think it is, I promise. I am merely taking care of her, especially since her brothers made it clear she would need someone.” Namjoon said, tucking you into the bed.

You wanted to thank them both, but you were so tired you didn’t even try to speak, just listened to them.

“I’m glad she has someone to help her out. But do you mind if I also help from now on?” You heard Yoongi ask.

“I will agree, but it is all up to her in the end. Is this your way of trying to say sorry?”

“Yes and no. I was the reason she ended up forcing all of her abilities into existence. But I also care for her, more than I should probably.”

“Are you saying you’re falling for her?”

“Yeah, I guess you could. But I know I shouldn’t, especially considering the type of creature I am. I’m not good for her, both compatibility wise and health wise. I will only bring her pain, but I can’t help it. I’m drawn to her, like a moth to a flame.”

“Give it time. I’m sure she will come around. Let’s let her sleep now, we have all weekend to hang out and make sure she is fully rested.”

With that the two men left the room, leaving you to fall into a deep sleep, where Taehyung came to visit. Not only to catch up on how you were, but also to keep an eye on you.

*

You awoke from your time with Taehyung to find it was still dark outside, and according to the clock beside your bed it was only 5am. But for some reason, you didn’t feel too tired anymore. You didn’t want to sit around in the dorm, so you made the choice to finally go to the pool the academy had. You slowly made your way across the campus to the dark recreation center. The only lights in the building coming from the under the water, which brought a calming feeling over you.

“It’s beautiful isn’t it?” A voice said from the deep end of the pool.

You turn to see Jimin leaning against the edge of the pool, his lower half still submerged in the water.

“What are you doing here so early?” You ask.

“I could ask you the same thing. But I am here to swim like I do most weekends. I don’t get a chance to get in the water, so I try to make time for it.” He said with a smile.

“Mind if I join you?” You ask, placing your belongings on the bench beside the pool.

“Only if you don’t make eye contact with me. I think we both know what will happen if you do, whether I want it to or not.”

“Why does that happen anyways? I thought that was something only Sirens did”

“I wish, most don’t get that mermaids have a certain allure to them as well. We have to be able to avoid detection from humans somehow.”

You nodded in agreement, slipping into the water. It felt cool against your warm skin, making you shiver slightly. Taking a deep breath, you let yourself slip below the surface of the water, forcing yourself to get used to the water. When you resurfaced you found Jimin floating nearby, his tail brushing against your stomach. It was the first time you had seen his tail, and the vividness of the colors shocked you. It was primarily silver, but had patches of blue, purple, and green throughout the entirety of it. Smaller fins rested on the sides of his tail at the top, with one longer fin running down one side. The largest fin of his tail appeared to be sparkling, even in the dim lighting.

“It’s shocking to see at first isn’t it?” He asked, interrupting your train of thought.

“Very much so. I pictured you with something a little less flashy.” You giggle.

“What, is having a flashy tail a bad thing?”

“No, not at all. It suits you actually, somehow.”

He splashes you in retaliation to your comment, causing you to laugh.

“How are you feeling though? I’m sorry we pushed you so much yesterday.” Jimin says, swimming behind you.

“You guys didn’t push me, I pushed myself.”

“Well, you should be more careful with that. We don’t like seeing you hurt.”

His tail brushes against your lower back this time as he swims around to be in front of you. You look up, watching him slowly circle your still figure.

“I won’t hurt myself, I just need to master my abilities and I’ll be ok.” You say with a smile.

“As long as you promise to rest from time to time.”

“I will, I promise.”

As he came back in front of you again you couldn’t resist the urge to look at his face. And though you had been warned many times, by many of your friends, you looked directly into his eyes. You watched as a small smirk appeared on his face.

“Y/N, what did I say?” He teases.

“Not to look into your eyes.”

“And what did you do?”

“Exactly that.”

“Do you know why it’s so bad to look at a mermaid’s eyes? Even if they aren’t looking for prey.”

You shake your head no while maintaining eye contact.

“It puts a type of spell on the person, while it’s not as powerful on you, it still has a large hold. I have a hard time resisting some of the urges that come over me as well, something I still need to work on.” He laughs, swimming closer to you.

He gets right up into your face, looking deep into your eyes.

“You’re a very interesting person, Y/N. I’d love to get to know you even better. Is it alright if I kiss you?”

You couldn’t speak so you simply nodded. He let out a breathy laugh before lowering his lips to meet yours. The kiss was soft and sweet. You leaned into it eagerly, suddenly wanting to feel more of the mysterious mermaid in front of you. Just as you felt his tongue run across your bottom lip a throat was cleared behind you. You pull yourself away from Jimin to see who had suddenly entered the room.

“Jimin, you know better, you shouldn’t be using your ability to take advantage of her.” Namjoon said, squatting along the edge of the pool.

“Hey, I was captivated by her as well. So I would like to call it even.” The younger boy countered.

“If you say so Jiminie.”

“How did you know she was here anyways? You aren’t exactly one to go swimming early in the morning.” Jimin asked.

“Taehyung came to my room saying she had woken up.”

“He was in her dreams again wasn’t he?”

“Yeah, he enjoys visiting me” You answered for them.

“We should get you back to your room, Y/N. It’s going to be time for breakfast soon, and you probably want to shower.” Namjoon spoke, reaching out his hand to help you.

You happily take it, suddenly remembering you didn’t eat last night. Namjoon wraps your towel around you, pulling you into his chest for a hug.

“You seem very affectionate towards her, hyung. Are you sure you haven’t marked her as your own?” Jimin questioned.

“I’m sure. I’m not going to do that to her without her consent. Besides, I view her as a very good friend as of now, nothing more.” Namjoon said with a wink.

You both said your goodbyes to Jimin, making your way back to the dorm to shower and prepare for the day. You were in a much better mood today, so much so that you even greeted Yoongi with a good morning hug. And the older man was surprised to see you welcomed him back so easily into your daily life. The boys even brought up that they were going out for the day, welcoming you to join them, to which you happily agreed. You suddenly felt much better about learning to control your abilities, if it meant you’d have 7 men by your side to guide you through it. You were now excited for the next week of classes to come, feeling as if nothing could go wrong anymore.