#who's never been called the n-word in her face repeatedly and spat on

[socksracoon10]

Waiting For Nothing

Pairing: Legolas Greenleaf x F!Reader A/N: I haven't written for LOTR for a while, so I thought I'd make ya'll sad with this angsty Legolas fic. Have fun! The hearts of the warriors are often small; they've grown accustomed to fighting and death. And in each battle they fight, a layer of their heart sheds off. It falls to the ground, and rejoins the earthly soil to be reborn in another's. The scars remain, but the feelings behind the memories will slowly fade, until there is nothing more than the shell of a man who attained glory with his rotting heart a testament to the last sliver of hope that echoed in the beating of his heart.

Your heart was rather large. Having lived most of your life as the poor peasant girl with no relatives by blood, Edoras welcomed you into open arms. You were friends with almost everyone, especially with Théoden's niece, Éowyn, who quickly became your best friend - Théoden even considered you his niece as well because of how close you two were. The two of you would go riding on horses, galloping around in joy as you remained oblivious to the impending doom that would soon terrorize the entirety of Rohan in just a matter of a few days.

"I can hardly see why you roam this castle so willingly when we know your place is outside in a small hut…" Grima Wormtongue spat when you had walked past him. You glanced at him over your shoulder, your lips sharply turning into a scowl. The audacity of that vile creature to even speak in your direction. You huffed out in annoyance, biting the inside of your cheek as you chose your next words, carefully.

"Bold words coming from a creature that is more disheveled than an Orc," You snickered before haughtily marching off.

Within hours, you were kicked out of the palace and exiled from Rohan. You were back to being an orphan, right where you had started. Éowyn had looked at you with such pain in her eyes but she knew that if she were to act out against this cruel decree, she would face a similar fate and nothing could be done to save the Kingdom she so dearly loved.

Living in the outskirts was not as easy as you had initially thought it to be. In your mind, you had foolishly assured yourself that since you had been in this condition before everything would come naturally. It wasn't until the first hour passed did you sorely miss the place you once called home. With nowhere to go, you wandered around aimlessly, circling the borders of Edoras repeatedly to keep your mind occupied. By the 5th day, you swore you were dying due to starvation and thirst. You could barely move, your body lay stricken on a rock as you gasped for air. Your head tilted slightly to your right, the pain in your stomach blooming to elsewhere in your body and from afar, you noticed three horses charging towards you. You couldn't even sit up properly to examine the incoming invaders, and you weakly lifted your hand, silently begging for help.

The three horses revealed their masters on top of them, a tall dark haired man, another being that resembled a wizard and on top of the third horse was a dwarf, and in front of him the most beautiful elf you had ever seen. You had heard stories of elves before in your life, ones that were told by Éowyn, but never once did you think one would be standing right before you. If you were to die in this exact moment, you would've been very pleased that you at last saw an elf.

The man jumped off his horse and crouched down to your level, feeling your forehead before turning to the elf,

"Legolas, fetch her some of your Lembas bread, and you Gimli give her your water." The man instructed; not knowing whose name belonged to which creature, you looked between the four beings with curiosity, despite being so near to death's door. The elf crouched down besides you, allowing you to drink some water before chewing on his bread. Your hunger knew no bounds and you chewed and chewed, swallowing whole lumps of bread as you slowly began to regain some of your health. The man sighed in contentment, giving you a soft smile before standing up to walk towards the Wizard. The elf, on the other hand, stared at you with a gentle smile on his face and kept offering you food until you said no.

"What's your name?" The man asked,

"My name is (Y/N) (L/N)," You whispered, taking another sip of water. You coughed a few times, swallowing thickly before meeting his gaze.

"I am Aragorn, son of Arathorn. This is Gandalf the White, that is Gimli, son of Gloin and over to your left is Legolas of the Woodland Realms." Aragorn exclaimed, gesturing towards the elf beside you. You glanced back to face the elf, a small smile forming on your face. After acquainting yourself with the 4 beings, they heard your pitiful tale and realized that Rohan deeply needed imminent change. They allowed you to accompany them, seating yourself behind Aragorn as the horses charged forward.

Your eyes, however, remained glued onto the elf. You noticed his soft features, the way the wind seemed to swirl around him and only him, and his piercing eyes that scoured the land before him with diligence. His silence captivated you, and you did not know why.

With Grima Wormtongue out of the way, and your adoptive uncle restored to his glory, it seemed that you were finally welcome in the castle. Éowyn had rushed forward, capturing you into a warm embrace before kissing your forehead. She grinned at you, holding onto your arms ecstatically as she danced to and fro, dragging you deeper into the throne room. As she tugged at your hands, you glanced to your right to find the elf conversing with the dwarf, the both of them walking in the opposite direction with concern glazing their eyes. You wanted to listen, you wanted to be a part of them… but you did not know why. You yearned for the chance to just be alone with him, and whether it was good for Rohan or not, the chance soon came when everyone was ordered to seek shelter at Helm's Deep.

"You're rather quiet," You chirped, catching up to Legolas. The walk to Helm's Deep was excruciating and you feared that the boredom would kill you before starvation or even worse - the Uruk-hais. Legolas smirked, his lips curving ever so slightly upwards before he turned to face you,

"Forgive me. I am not one to converse so easily in such pressing times. Though, of course, must you include Gimli in our conversation, I shall pass a few jokes at his expense." He glanced over his shoulder to face Gimli atop his horse; the dwarf shook his head and grumbled,

"I'd cut yer pointy ears off if ye try to embarrass me in front of this lassie," He scoffed and you let out a laugh, before turning to Legolas,

"Come now, surely you would be able to carry a conversation without teasing the poor dwarf!"

"Perhaps, but I do not know for sure," He sighed, before resuming his silence as he watched the horizons.

Legolas knew. He could sense your attraction towards him, but he chose not to say anything about it. He hoped that it would pass, that you would not be bound at his feet, desperate for his affection. Because it would never work, and he did not have the heart to admit that he did not have any feelings for you. You were trying so hard, trying to spend more time with him. You were trying to distract yourself from the doom that lay ahead of you because everyone knew how big your heart was; all you could ever do was dream.

Éowyn and you had both tried to convince the King to let the two of you fight. There was nothing for you to lose, you both loved your Kingdom, tremendously. But as Aragorn reminded Éowyn of her duty, you turned to face Legolas whose piercing eyes never once left you. His lips formed into a thin line, and he followed Aragorn out of the room, leaving you in your thoughts.

"She's very affectionate towards you," Aragorn pointed out as they were leaving,

"I'm well aware," Legolas responded.

"What do you plan to do about it?" The man questioned.

"Nothing."

"Nothing? Legolas, perhaps-"

"Perhaps we do not speak of it." Legolas jeered, his brows furrowing at the rightful heir to Gondor. "We have more pressing matters to deal with, the lives of 100 thousand men are at steak tonight."

"Ignoring her will only heighten her love for you, she will be desperate. She will be fooled into thinking that she has a chance. If you are going to reject her, at least have the courage to tell her directly!"

"That wee lass will be devastated," Gimli chimed in, fixing his helmet, "You sure you don't feel anything?"

"I'm positive, I do not." Legolas grimaced and shoved past his two friends to grab his arrows. The incoming surge of Uruk-hais was his primary concern, but the guilt he felt as he killed one after the other tormented him. With each arrow he shot, he felt his burden increase tenfold. Aragorn and Gimli were right, but why could he not bring himself to tell you the truth? To tell you that he had no feelings for you?

Because… then he would be lying. He watched you from afar at times, watched the way you'd dance with Éomer, your arm wrapped around his as you skipped around. You'd stand beside Théoden to catch a breath, your eyes searching for Legolas and when they landed on him, he'd instantly look away - as if he wasn't staring at you. As if he wasn't infatuated with you the same way you were with him. He was lying to himself, he wanted to break free. He wanted to stand near you, to hear you constantly chittering about something; his heart ached at the sight of you fondly playing with some children. His mind roamed to thoughts that turned into dreams; dreams of you and him together. But this was wrong, all of this was wrong. He would only live a short life with you, and when you died, he would spend the rest of his life in solitude.

He'd seen it with his father. He'd seen the way his mother's death impacted him; he was not a man of many words, but his cold demeanor lingered around Legolas, a constant reminder of the similar fate he'd feel if he decided to indulge in his present feelings. He decided that he had to do something about it, even if he couldn't face it himself.

"Would you like something to eat?" You asked, toying with an apple as Legolas tended to his horse near the campsite. He glanced over his shoulder, looking at you with solemn eyes. You could've sworn a tear drop cascaded down his pale cheeks. He harshly took a deep breath in, and shook his head,

"It is alright, I do not need anything to eat." He responded, his fingers wrapped around the reins of his horse.

"Well, perhaps I could offer you something? It is not material…" You began, stepping forward with hope in your eyes. It pained him, it pained him more than anything else in the world. He could not bring himself to do this, but at the same time, it would be even worse to accept your affections.

"Lady (L/N), please." Legolas exclaimed, finally meeting your eyes, "Do not continue. I… I cannot accept your affection."

You paused in your tracks, looking at him with wide eyes.

"I do not… envision a future of us two living a happy life." He was searching for proper words, his head turning around the room as if he was physically swimming through his thoughts, "I… My heart is heavy, I have never felt this way for anyone. I do not want to be the one to burden your heart, but I am afraid that you must keep those feelings to yourself. There is nothing that I can do. Nothing we can do."

"I… You… You don't even know what I was going to say…" You reasoned, and Legolas let out a huff,

"I do not need to hear you say it, I already know. I've seen the way you look at me, the way you tend to me. I am forever in your debt for your kindness, I thank you for it. But, it cannot continue. Aragorn, Gimli, and I will be leaving tonight." Legolas murmured, tugging on the reins as he drove his horse forward and away from you. Your heart sunk at his words, unsure of what was happening.

This couldn't be happening to you. Not before you even had the chance to tell him how you felt. What if he realized how true your love was for him? What if this was the last time you ever saw him?

"I shall be waiting for you." You stated, swiftly turning on your heels to face his departing form.

"Don't, you'll be waiting for nothing," Legolas whispered, his eyes softening at your words.

"Nothing is… indeed something," You breathed, your fingers linked together as you began to fidget, nervously. "Perhaps, you'll understand. Perhaps you'll… come back."

"Perhaps, but I would not count on it." Legolas sighed, before hopping onto his horse and riding off, leaving you alone for the night.

"I see you've told her how you felt," Aragorn had asked Legolas when they were far from Rohan, "Does it feel as if your heart is lighter now, with nothing to worry about?"

Legolas paused, hearing Gimli grumble a few curses under his breath regarding the elf. He opened his mouth to speak, before closing it. The elf thought deeply, his mind was utterly blank and he hated it.

"I feel…" He began, "I feel as if I've only made it worse. Not just for her, but... for me as well." He swallowed, thickly, before glancing over his shoulder to take one last look at Rohan. The wind was still, there was not much that he could hear.

Except for the beating of a very large heart that painfully yearned for him with each fleeting second.

[loveroftoomanyfandoms]

Salvation Chapter 11: Reader

Pairing: Matt Murdock x F!Reader

Story Summary: Reader is walking home one evening and gets attacked in an alleyway... until the Devil of Hell's Kitchen himself comes to her rescue. After passing out during the ordeal, she wakes up in the apartment of one Matthew Murdock, a kind and handsome lawyer who treats her injuries. As she and Matt get to know each other and grow closer, will someone from Reader's past tear their happiness apart?

Warnings/Tags: Angst with a Happy Ending, Attempted Sexual Assault, Past Domestic Violence, Stalking, Kidnapping (Y'all, seriously, please mind the tags)

Word Count: ~31k total

A/N: REALLY mind the tags here.

Please, God, let Daredevil find me in time, Y/N thought.

She wasn't sure how Matt got in touch with Daredevil or even if he was able to get in touch with him outside of patching him up, but she hoped beyond hope that somehow her message got through to him. 

After she had called Matt and broken up with his voicemail Colin had taken her phone back and crushed it beneath his shoe. Just in case he tries to call you back, he had said.

Y/N had refrained from pointing out that he simply could've turned her phone off instead of breaking it, instead focusing on trying to formulate a plan of escape in case Daredevil didn't show up.

She licked her lips. Hopefully I can just stall until help arrives… if it arrives at all. "Just let me go, Colin. I've already broken up with Matt, there's nothing else tying me here. I'll leave New York, no one will have to know why."

Colin shook his head. "The cops questioned me, you know, after you left. Someone must've reported you missing and said that I had to have something to do with it. But I told them, I told them what a whore you were and that you had left me to run off with whoever else you were fucking at the time. Tell me, does your boy toy know what a dirty little slut you are? Probably fucking around on him just like you fucked around on me."

Y/N shook her head. "I never cheated on you, unlike the other way around. You were the one who couldn't keep your dick in your pants."

She cried out as Colin slapped her across the face. 

"You're a lying bitch," Colin sneered. "My life was perfect until you came along. Had to go and ruin everything for me."

Y/N spat, a bit of crimson landing on the dirty concrete floor. "Fuck you, Colin. You did that to yourself."

Colin roared out in anger, shoving Y/N backwards.

Y/N cried out again as she hit the ground, the chair breaking beneath her.

She scrambled to get up, kicking out as Colin grabbed onto her ankle and twisted.

She turned over into her back, fingers clawing and scratching at whatever skin she could reach as Colin caught up to her.

He punched her then wrapped his hands around her neck. "Fucking bitch, I'll fucking kill you."

Y/N clawed at the hands squeezing at her throat. "Let… me… go!" she managed to croak out as she fought against the oncoming dizziness. 

Her vision began to darken.

Suddenly, the voice she had been hoping to hear pierced through the fog. "HEY!" 

Startled, Colin let go of her and leapt to his feet.

Oh thank God. Y/N rolled out of the way, coughing and gasping for air. She caught a glimpse of black and red as she crawled over to a support beam. Daredevil.

"Who the fuck are you?" Colin asked.

"I'm the Devil," Daredevil answered.

Colin pulled a switchblade out of his pocket. "Yeah, well, I'm gonna send you and this bitch back to Hell where you both belong."

Y/N watched as Daredevil expertly dodged Colin's attacks then threw a punch of his own, causing Colin to stumble and fall.

He grabbed Colin by the shirt with one hand and yanked him up, then began to punch him repeatedly.

Y/N gasped. He's going to kill him. "No, stop!"

Daredevil's head whipped in her direction, as if he had forgotten Y/N was there.

He got up and began to walk towards Y/N, but then suddenly turned around, grabbed Colin's arm, and snapped it. 

"Consider that a warning," he growled. "If you ever come near Y/N again -- and believe me, I will know if you do -- I won't hesitate to kill you. Understand?"

Colin moaned in pain.

Daredevil grabbed Colin by the shirt and yanked him up once again. "ANSWER ME!" he roared.

Colin nodded feebly as he cradled his broken arm. "Yeah, got it, just – just let me go, man."

Y/N sat up and hissed at the pain in her ankle as Daredevil finally made his way over to her.

Daredevil knelt on the side of her. "Y/N, are you okay?"

Y/N clung to him in relief, wrapping her arms around his waist and burying her face into his chest.

Daredevil held her and gently stroked her hair. "Hey now, shh… It's okay, it's over. He won't hurt you ever again. You're safe now." He pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "I'll always keep you safe, sweetheart. I promise."

Y/N nodded against his chest. "Thank you."

Daredevil looked towards the door. "I have to go, but you'll be safe. The police are here."

Y/N nodded again as sirens began to be heard in the distance. "Will you let Matt know that I'm okay?"

Daredevil nodded and gave her a quick kiss on her forehead. "As soon as I'm able to I'll let him know."

Y/N gave him one final hug. "Thank you again."

Daredevil rose and slipped out the side door right as the police and a couple of ambulances made it to the warehouse.

The police burst in, guns drawn.

One trained their gun on Colin while the other slowly walked over to Y/N. "Suspect is secure," they said over the radio. "One victim, female, conscious, alert and breathing. Send in the medics."

A couple of medics came in and checked Y/N over, then stabilized her ankle and loaded her onto a stretcher to take her to the ambulance so they could patch up her minor injuries while the police questioned her.

She explained that Colin was her ex-boyfriend that she had left in fear of her life because he had been abusive, but he had somehow tracked her down and tried to kill her. "Luckily that Daredevil guy showed up and saved me," she concluded. "If he hadn't I'd probably be dead."

The police took photos of her injuries, then finally gave her a business card with a case number written on it and released the ambulance to bring her to the hospital to assess her.

She filled out her intake paperwork as someone came with a portable X-ray machine to check her ankle, hesitating for only a moment before putting Matt as her emergency contact since she technically had broken up with his voicemail a few hours before. Thank God he at least understood my hidden message and sent Daredevil to save me.

While she was waiting for the results of her X-ray to come back, another nurse came in to check her vitals and give her some pain medicine for her ankle and throat. "Okay, so the doctor will be in with your x-ray results soon, but in the meantime if you need anything just call the nurse's station."

Y/N nodded. "Thank you." 

After the nurse had left Y/N leaned back and sighed. She had only had one other encounter with Daredevil where she had been in danger, but there had been something different about this time compared to the first. 

The first time he had rescued her she was pretty sure he had just subdued her assailant and came to check on her; this time, Y/N wasn't sure if he wouldn't have literally beaten Colin to death had she not said something.

Y/N shook her head. For someone so scary and intimidating, Daredevil was always incredibly sweet and gentle when comforting her. I'll always keep you safe, sweetheart.

Sweetheart. Oh my God.

Suddenly everything clicked. I'm such an idiot. How could I not see it before?

It all made sense -- the scars, the fighting skills, the fact that Daredevil brought her to Matt's apartment the first time he had rescued her…

She didn't have time to think about it further, however, because suddenly the door opened and Matt rushed in. Speak of the Devil himself. 

Matt was dressed for their date night, in a pair of jeans and a button-down shirt that Y/N had never seen on him, and his hair was mussed like he'd been running his hands through it anxiously. 

Y/N mentally shook her head. Deal with it later. "Matt, I'm so glad to see you."

"Y/N, thank God," Matt replied. "I've been worried sick."

Obviously he hadn't realized that he had blown his vigilante cover, which was actually really good because Y/N was in neither the mental nor physical condition to have that conversation at the moment. 

She reached out for him. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Matt, I never thought he'd find me."

Matt gently gathered her in his arms. "Hey, no, I know, it's okay. It's not your fault, sweetheart. You have nothing to apologize for. I'm sorry I didn't get your message sooner."

Y/N shook her head and held him tighter. "I'm just glad that you understood it. If Daredevil hadn't shown up…" She trailed off. Matt saved my life.

Matt smiled and gave her a soft kiss on her forehead. "Luckily for me you're a terrible liar, so it wasn't difficult to figure out that you weren't actually breaking up with me."

Y/N laughed lightly and sat back. "Well I wasn't exactly trying to win the Oscar for best leading actress for my performance in 'Breakup via Voicemail'." 

"You know, you did have Foggy convinced that you were dumping me until I explained the situation, though," Matt added. "There was a slight mishap with dessert and he came by to help me clean up, so he was there when I got your message. I just told him the basics -- that you've been hiding from an abusive ex and how you calling me 'babe' meant that you were in trouble."

"Okay." Y/N nodded resolutely. "I… I want to tell him and Karen the whole story. Tomorrow, preferably."

Suddenly the door opened and the doctor walked in. "Okay, Miss… Y/L/N," she confirmed, looking at her paperwork. "I'm Doctor Walton, one of the physicians on staff. Good news is that your ankle isn't fractured, but the bad news is that you've got a pretty nasty sprain, so you'll need to stay off of it for at least a week. That means keep it elevated and iced, take over-the-counter pain medicine as needed, and not walk directly on it or go up and down flights of stairs."

She made another mark on her paperwork. "Everything else looks fine -- there was no permanent damage to your vocal cords, so throat lozenges or spray will help with any residual soreness and any bruising on your throat will subside within a few weeks. We'll get your ankle wrapped and set you up with some crutches, then you'll be good to go. Is there someone who can take you home, help you get situated?"

"Me," Matt replied immediately.

"Okay, wonderful. And you are?"

"Matthew Murdock. I'm Y/N's boyfriend." Matt linked his fingers through Y/N's. "Don't worry, Doc, I won't let her out of my sight."

Y/N snorted out a laugh, then covered it with a cough. "Sorry, my throat's still a bit sore."

Matt handed Y/N a bottle of water off of her bedside table, a wide grin on his face. "Here you go, sweetheart."

"Thank you, honey."

Dr. Walton nodded. "Alright, we'll have you out of here in a bit."

Y/N nodded. "Thank you."

"Thank you, Doctor," Matt added.

Once the doctor had left the room Matt turned back to Y/N. "I was thinking… would you like to stay with me while your ankle heals since you won't be able to get up and down the stairs at your place? I'm sure my bed will be a lot more comfortable than your sofa."

Y/N bit her lip while she thought. Matt was right -- his apartment was more accessible, and if Y/N was honest with herself she really didn't want to be alone at the moment. "If you're sure you don't mind..."

Matt shook his head. "You were going to be staying at my place for the weekend anyway, and to be perfectly honest, I'd much rather have you safe with me until I know for sure that your ex is going to stay in jail. I don't want him getting out on bond and coming after you again."

Y/N nodded. "Okay then."

Matt pulled out his phone. "I promised Foggy I'd let him and Karen know how you were doing, so I can ask Karen to stop by your place and get you some clothes and your laptop and stuff."

"Okay. And thank you."

She waited while Matt pulled up Foggy's contact and put his phone to his ear.

"Hey, Fog," Matt said. "Yeah, she's okay, just a sprained ankle and some minor cuts and bruises, thank God it wasn't anything more serious since the bastard literally tried to strangle her… No, she's going to be staying with me for a few days since she can't go up and down the stairs in her house… Well I was going to ask Karen if she'd mind bringing her some clothes and stuff tomorrow… Yeah, her laptop too. I don't know where her phone is but I'll get her a new one in the morning if I need to. She also said she wants to talk to you and Karen and explain everything herself… Yeah, yeah he's in custody. He'll be transferred to the jail once his arm is put in a cast… I don't know, apparently he broke it somehow… Yeah, absolutely, of course. Okay. Okay, I will. Thanks, buddy. Bye."

He hung up and tucked his phone back in his pocket. "Foggy said he's glad you're okay and that he & Karen will drop by tomorrow with your things. In the meantime you can borrow something of mine for tonight."

"Okay." 

"And we're giving you the week off of work while you recuperate – with full pay, of course."

"Thank you." 

A nurse arrived a few minutes later to wrap Y/N's ankle and soon Y/N was officially discharged.

She and Matt took a cab back to Matt's apartment building and made their way inside. 

Y/N looked at the stairs. "Okay, well, I'll see you upstairs in about an hour," she joked.

Matt shook his head with a grin. "Hold on, sweetheart, I gotcha."

Y/N gasped and quickly adjusted the crutches she had been given as Matt carefully picked her up bridal-style and carried her up the stairs to his apartment.

She let out a breath as he set her down in his doorway. "Holy shit."

A slight smirk flitted across Matt's face as he unlocked the door and reached for the light switch. "Do you want something to eat?"

Y/N set her crutches next to Matt's cane, which she belatedly realized he didn't have at the hospital. Does he not actually need it? she thought before shaking her head. "Honestly I just want to shower and wash my hair, then go to sleep."

Matt nodded. "Did you need some help standing in the shower?"

"Yeah, if you don't mind."

Matt raised a playful eyebrow. "Do you honestly think I'd mind being naked in the shower with my beautiful girlfriend?"

Despite everything that had happened that evening, including her revelation that her boyfriend was the Devil of Hell's Kitchen, the only thing Y/N wanted to do at that moment was to kiss the adorable smirk Matt was currently sporting right off of his face. 

She laughed. "Yeah, okay. Good point."

Matt helped her hobble to the bathroom. "Wait here. I'll be right back." 

He left for a minute then came back with 2 pairs of sweatpants and a worn but comfortable-looking t-shirt, which he set by the sink. "Here, sweetheart. You can wear these."

Y/N nodded. "Thanks."

She began to undress while Matt turned the shower on, holding on to him in order to get her pants and underwear off, then waited as Matt stripped down to his boxers.

Y/N looked back at him as he reached to help her into the shower. "What happened to being naked?"

Matt shook his head with a chuckle. "I was just kidding. I know doing anything even remotely sexual is the furthest thing from your mind right now and I don't want to make you uncomfortable."

Y/N huffed out a laugh. "While that's sweet, I'm pretty sure we can manage to keep our hands to ourselves."

She gave Matt a quick kiss and leaned up to whisper in his ear. "Can't promise I won't peek though."

Matt grinned. "Fair enough."

Y/N waited for Matt to finish undressing then held on to his shoulders as he helped her into the shower. 

"Want me to wash your hair for you?" Matt asked after stepping in behind her. "Might be easier to balance yourself that way."

Y/N nodded. "Yeah, thanks, honey."

After Matt had washed her hair and they both had showered Y/N waited while Matt stepped out of the shower and pulled on one of the pairs of sweatpants before helping her out.

Y/N held onto him as he helped her get dressed then carried her back to his bedroom. 

Matt carefully deposited her in his bed before giving her a quick kiss on her forehead. "I'm gonna go get some ice for your ankle. Be right back."

Y/N nodded. "Okay."

She could hear Matt rummaging around his kitchen and soon he was back, ice pack in hand. "Here you go, sweetheart. Need any lozenges or spray for your throat? I can run out and get some."

Y/N propped the ice pack against her ankle. "No, I'm good for right now. The stuff the hospital gave me hasn't worn off yet."

Matt nodded. "Let me go grab one more thing."

He disappeared once again and returned a few moments later with a small, unlabeled white jar. "This is a special cream for bruises. It helps them heal and fade faster."

Y/N nodded. "Okay."

Matt climbed into bed next to her and set the jar down, then turned and gestured to her face. "May I?"

Y/N nodded again, knowing that Matt would want to 'see' her injuries for himself, especially since he hadn't had time to assess her as Daredevil. "Yeah, go ahead."

Matt reached out and began to gently trace his way down her face, wincing when he felt a cut or a particularly large bump or bruise.

He picked up the jar and opened it, carefully applying a bit of cream to each mark.

"What exactly is this?" Y/N asked.

"It's my own concoction," Matt replied. "The old man who tutored me also taught me herbal medicine, so I developed this to rub into sore muscles and bruises after training sessions."

Training sessions. Y/N couldn't help but wonder if that was code for 'beating the crap out of criminals almost every night'. "Hmm. It smells nice."

Matt continued working his way down her face but paused when he reached her jawline, his brow furrowing as his thumb grazed her neck.

"It's okay," Y/N whispered. "I trust you."

And it was true -- she did trust Matt. While she wasn't quite sure if it was because she was still in shock and hadn't quite processed the fact that he was Daredevil yet or if she was already somehow subconsciously okay with it, she loved and trusted Matt enough to where she was willing to put not only her heart, but her very life into his hands.

She closed her eyes as Matt glided his fingertips along the bruises on her neck, his tender and loving touch a stark contrast to the harsh grip Colin had had on her throat only a few hours before.

Y/N's breath hitched as she bit back a sob.

Matt dropped his hands. "Shit, did I hurt you? I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to--"

Y/N quickly shook her head. "No, no, it's the exact opposite. I was actually thinking about how caring and gentle your hands felt, especially compared to Colin's earlier." 

Matt wrapped his arms around her and cradled her to him. "I'm so sorry, sweetheart," he murmured. "I'm so fucking sorry. I promise you, I'm going to do absolutely everything in my power to make sure that bastard never has the chance to touch you again."

Y/N nodded against him. "Thank you."

Matt pressed a gentle kiss to her lips. "Ready to sleep?"

Y/N nodded again. "Mmhmm."

They lay down together, Y/N resting her head on Matt's chest while he ran a hand through her hair. 

Y/N hummed drowsily. "Matt?"

Matt tilted his face down at her. "Yeah, sweetheart?"

"Sorry I ruined our make-up date." 

Matt pressed a gentle kiss to her hair. "You were abducted and almost killed tonight, Y/N, having to reschedule our make-up date is the least of my worries. I'm just so relieved that you're okay. I don't know what I'd do without you."

Not knowing exactly how to respond, Y/N pressed a kiss to Matt's chest, right above his heart. "Thank you for taking care of me."

"Of course, sweetheart." Matt resumed stroking her hair. "Now sleep, okay? We'll talk more in the morning."

"Mmhmm."

Y/N settled in and let the steady rhythm of Matt's heartbeat lull her to sleep, feeling truly safe for the first time in years.

[aikainkauna]

Sorry I haven’t been giffing/posting/reglobbing much lately, guys. It’s that behemoth of a fic swallowing up all my sitting-upright time (and a big chunk of my reclining time). Four chapters or so to go and I’m still spending about 7-11 hours every day combing the remaining text for typos (yes, some of us actually do care about our fics and don’t think it’s some dirty “trashy,” “guilty pleasure” of less value), so it’s a full-time job with overtime. So if I’m slow to respond to anything, it’s that. I’m sure that soon enough, the post-fic existential emptiness will be upon us and you’ll be seeing more gifs and tag yelling.

Although it’s just been so quiet among the nice people here and so loud among the idiots that I might just take several steps back from Tumblr in general, just for my mental health. There seems little point in making gifs nobody reblogs and saying anything when it’s drowned out by the types who give liberals a bad name (honestly, some of the shit people say on here would already have made me a Nazi were I a bloke, because apparently nothing is ever enough and I’ll always be Doing it Wrong anyway; you’re not making tolerance seem worthwhile, if you nevertheless beat the tolerant person up for wearing the wrong types of socks).

I’m still looking for that fandom old people’s home, so if you find it, that place where people are old enough to have some fucking perspective, do let me know.

This whole place is eerily reminiscent of an abusive relationship where you’re constantly having to tiptoe because you never know when the next explosion is going to come and where from, what sort of utterly random thing someone is going to call abusive now and beat you up for, even if you’ve been working hard not to upset them, have made deliberate choices to accommodate them because you know their wounds. It’s like Borderline Personality Disorder, but in the form of a website. (And yes, I know first-hand what BPD is like. Had the spouse, had the flatmate, had the fuckbuddies, had the friends.) And the worst thing about BPD is that it’s catching: being around a human minefield makes everyone jumpy, and then *their* jumpiness becomes tyrannical towards others (when the hurt person is just self-defending, they feel) and then the cycle continues. Everybody is paranoid and beating everybody up in the name of great justice, and undermining everyone else’s psyches to the point where they become human minefields themselves. And they don’t know how to stop that cycle, if they’re in denial about having a problem, because of course, if you hurt and lash out, you’re just defending yourself. (Being told you’re a shitty person for freaking out at a trigger is worse than being triggered. Good luck trying to crawl out of that into any semblance of health, if you feel you’re just an explosive piece of crap forever.)

And while I know I can help a bit by stepping outside of that and offering fic and pics and lols where people can forget about it all, I’m still in two minds about offering it in a direction where the recipient is never going to be happy anyway, and where the effort is (or seems) wasted as long as the receiving end isn’t doing any conscious healing/rebuilding itself to better appreciate healthier things. It does nothing. Why am I buying medicine for someone who abuses me for it and throws the bottle in my face? I’ve been there, trying to please people who were locked up in their traumas and paranoias, throwing all my love and effort and work at them to no avail because I thought I could help; I’m not keen on doing it again. Because now I’m old enough to know I’m wasting my time, as brutal and as “selfish” that sounds (how about calling it “self-preservation?” “Sanity?” “Kindness to oneself?” I know women are beaten out of daring to have that, for daring to even think their lives aren’t meant to be lived for other people, but fucking watch me go).

Just like partners and friends aren’t the same as professional help, fandom isn’t the ultimate cure for depression/trauma unless there’s an inner change in the ill person to better utilise it. I was that ill person and I had to go through a lot of therapy and growth to not become a 24/7 abusive bitch myself (I still have shitty hypersensitivities, but those are in-built–they’re bad enough). I changed the way I see fannish activities (I now really do see them as medicine), and only then could I enjoy them to the fullest and only then could I start writing really good fic, because it comes from a firm ground of faith in the inherent value of fic. It’s a really complicated thing to explain, the interrelationships of fandom, queer people and mental health (there should be a book on fandom/queerdom and mentalness–we are wonky in the head, sometimes fucking awfully so, and it’s *not* all due to persecution but genes).

But my gist is that there’s no point in endlessly remaining in a draining relationship with someone who doesn’t want to heal–Tumblr’s anxiety-mongering culture of self-hate, ahoy! One has to pick one’s “battles” and channel one’s energy somewhere where it’s actually going to bear fruit. Not on a site that says the phrase “I don’t discriminate by colour” is racist, or that a feminist, mixed-race royal princess “isn’t enough” or that a given sexual minority gets to rule it over everyone else. Not on a site full of kids who are too young/American to have known *real* homophobia and racism, and who don’t realise that for most people, in the real world, even not being racist or homophobic is a *choice.*

Which is why I miss that supportive community of other brainy, feminist and reasonable fans who actually had conversations so. Fucking. Much. Where are they? (DW is where the militant vegan lesbian sociopath SJWs went, and if you’re not keen on eternal frowny moral meta, ehhh.)

Where’s the actual fun? Where are the other fans who are old enough to have been through therapy and who have experienced real relationships and have known actual real “minority” people IRL, and who consequently have an open mind about things? Who can see that things really aren’t as black and white as they thought they were when they were in their teens? Where are the fans who know something about psychology and psychiatry? The ones who know how gendered socialisation works and just how deep it goes, and who aren’t fans of Tumblr essentialism and its blindness to gender-based toxins? The fans who actually understand and respect the intelligence of other fans, instead of kneejerk assumptions of ignorance and moral corruption? The fans who legit don’t think a Gen X writer who forgot to use–or simply didn’t know about the existence of–a new politically correct term, is as evil as Hitler (because ignorance=/=active, intentional oppression, Jesus!)? The fans who respect the labor that goes into fanfic and fanart and always leave comments or otherwise support fan creators, instead of thinking of writers as vending machines for something “dirty” they feel ashamed for reading?

Because I’m that kind of “old” fan and I’ll be there for you if you’re there for me.

I just need to know where the fuck you are!

[onyourhyuck]

Reflections | L.DH (M)

prologue- “what do you think our children would look like?” + “I’m such a coward. Fuck it.”

tw- friends to lovers trope, they’re kinda oblivious to their feelings especially y/n, haechan is whipped as hell. mentions of smoking, drugs (like weed) and alcohol. university mention. y/n is a smart good girl and haechan is sorta the mischievous boy in her class that causes trouble. Honestly just a cute fluff romantic scenario <3

notes- heavily inspired by the song “Reflections” by the neighbourhood.

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“Fuck off donghyuck!”

your face scrunches in multiple wrinkles, frowning at your friend who has been a pain in your ass repeatedly by constantly pressing on your laptops keyboard which would mess up the article you will have to present in your psychology class tomorrow. you are pulling a fortnight for this piece of work and when you told your friends that you were busy that you can’t attend jaehyun’s party; one of your ‘friends’, not sure if you can call him one anymore considering he’s such an asshole right now.

Donghyuck voluntarily said he will help you out, since he’s already done this project (early) you agreed but little did you start to regret it quickly when he was simply distracting you from finishing it. Right now the time is about 4.00 am and it’s causing you to have a minor breakdown.

just a little university minor breakdown that will leave you pulling at your hair and scream, kick and maybe even few tears if it worsens.

The boy looks up at y/n flashing her a deviously smile as his voice coos singing. “I been trying to do that if you haven’t noticed, babe.”

Lips left out a small Ugh, he hears you push his face away with your flat palm as your attention turns to your laptop, pressing on the keyboards again. He whines blowing out raspberries.

“Someone’s stressed..” he sang again as he brushes forth his fingers in your hair, flicking it in the air one curly strand by another. You close your eyes letting out a harsh exhale, god you pray he just happens to pass out but knowing donghyuck- he’s a freaking nocturnal animal.

He never sleeps you swear.

“Donghyuck I would lovingly appreciate it if you… get out of my dorm.” You spat warningly. He pouts watching you. “But you said I could stay.”

“Yeah because I didn’t think you’d be a pain in my ass.”

“You should thank me I’m entertaining you.” He sassily retorts sitting up on your bed, he crawls behind you where he pushes you away from your laptop and takes it; he begins to slowly type humming. “Look I’ll help you, I can tell you’re struggling.”

you sigh. Was it really that obvious? Out of all people donghyuck really can read you as if you were a tracing paper, you were as transparent as anything; maybe it’s because you guys are closer than you would actually like to admit. People would often mistake you guys as a loving couple, hell some thought you were married considering the amount of bickering you guys do. It’s reached the point where your parents and his parents genuinely wish to see you everytime you’re with another.

As you would watch the serious expression on your friend next to you, you felt slightly like a burden. You grunt in protest reaching to snatch the laptop. “Let me do it I’m almost finished anyways—“ he would pull the laptop from your reach. “No, take a rest.”

you frown. “No I’ll finish it, hyuck.” you said back as you crawl to reach the laptop but in the end you were faced with the most stubborn boy you known to existence so you ultimately gave up with a gentle sigh. instead you place your head on his lap as he types away the last bits of words in your article.

haechan looks down at you with a soft smile, he softly pats your bangs away from your face before saving the article. he couldn’t help but tilt his head, humming.

“you know…what do you think our children would look like?”

you open your eyes, raising eyebrows at his sudden question. you croak a short smile, scoffing. “suddenly?”

he gives a soft nod. “genuine question.”

“I think they would be troublesome. Especially your children.”

he gasp slightly offended. “Uhm excuse you y/n my children are perfect just the way they are.” you snicker as you reach forward cupping his face, squishing it a little. “as if, more like devil’s offsprings.”

“What if we had children together.” he trails quietly and you softly pause, letting go off his face. “You mean…if me and you had a child together?”

he nods. “Mhm what do you think they would be like?”

“Non existent… I dunno.” you slowly shrug it away but he pouts with some sadness lingering. “Come on answer seriously.” He tells y/n as he saw you sit up on the bed. You look around your room warily.

“what do you think then?” Y/n asks the boy.

He would push the laptop on the side as he lays on the right side of your bed and you would follow his body on the left side, leaning a gap in the middle between your bodies. There was a share breathe took in. Haechan would look at y/n as if she was the missing piece all along. Though this was obvious to all of the uni campus, to y/n it was like a non existent fantasy that would never happen. You met donghyuck at your first year as freshmen, you transferred from another uni few months after and since you were the new girl, everyone wanted to be your friend. Haechan laid eyes on you when you were chosen to sit next to him in psychology and he swore he never fell in love so quickly.

It was love at first sight for him. You started as sweet friends who grew to slowly pick up a bickering relationship where you constantly play fight like small children. You think of him as someone always up to no good, a boy who is stuck in his sixteen years rather than twenty one. Not only was he the type of boy to get into trouble, he did hang around the wrong people who were bad influence.

he would get into lots of police trouble and at some point he skipped school so many times to comprehend. Yet every time something fucked him over, he calls you. Whenever he was drunk to his bones, he calls his top pinned saved number under the contact name ‘my saviour’, which is you. When he hit the darkest time of his life where his mother happened to be severally ill, he isolated himself away from the world.

who was the one who never stayed away no matter how many times he pushed people out of his life and cut them out numerous times? It was always you. No matter how much you argue with him, no matter what he does to annoy you and become a massive headache; you really can’t help but think you’re fated to him. It was a blessing and a curse.

He was your reflection. You were his reflection.

The reflection of all those bad things he has done, the hard moments in life he overcame (all thanks to you)— you were exactly that, the proven moment of how far he’s come and changed thanks to you.

“I think our children would be adorable!” He exclaims with a short smile. “I’d like a little girl that looks like you.”

“Too bad I really want a boy.” You reply back and he immediately disagrees. “No way, having a daughter is way better.”

You shrug flicking your fingers on his loose wavy hair, not lying but you always found his natural hair so attractive, the way it was wavy and curly in some areas, it covered his eyes most of the time and whenever he came to class half asleep he would barely have time to brush it; yet you loved that. His imperfections were his perfect traits.

“You’re rather serious about this topic. Did you fall for me or something?” You joke out.

He falters at your words with slow hums as he never broke eye contact with your lips. Haechan was quick to catch himself staring a little too long, so he turns away to his phone to look at the time.

“Oh shoot it’s already 4.50.” He loudly barks sitting up. “We have class in about four hours, you’ll be a total zombie if you don’t sleep now.”

You raise your eyebrows. “What about you? The boys dorms are locked already and so are the girl’s dorms. Will you just sleep at mine?” He smirks making himself comfortable on your bed as if it was his own. “You bet I am. Lay down and go to sleep already.”

“Okay dad relax, gosh.” You grumble. The moment your body was sleeping next to his you seem to have fell into a comfortable slumber. something about being in hyuck’s presence makes you feel safe…

Your body relaxes underneath the bedcovers as your lamp was turned off leaving the room cover by the midnight darkness. He was wide awake staring right at you as he lays on the side to watch your unconscious face. Smiling to himself ear to ear, the little moles on his beautiful melancholy skin stand out in the blackness of the dorm. he’d slowly run his fingers down the sides of your face, brushing the little hairs from your fringe away,

The softness of your cut bangs prickle the fingers a tiny bit, though he never minded it. your gentle breathes leaning your flaring nostrils were cute to watch, and somehow he found himself admiring your raw beauty. Messy hair, no makeup leaving only your bare face, loose tomboyish clothes that suit your figure well.

he felt like he was too close to stars, just by being with you. you were the planet that was resolving round the sun.

Haechan didn’t realise it until he was far too in the situation, his lips were subconsciously closing in the small gap between you and him; he marks the open cheek leaving a wet smooch. the kiss was short lived when he slowly backs away, with a proud smile on his face. those strong feelings only grew stronger and he felt some sort of clarity from it.

he didn’t have the courage to do anything he wished to do and say when you were wide awake. But when you were asleep, he can’t surpass on the opportunity revealing itself. Yes, he was a coward.

A coward that couldn’t express his hidden feelings that he developed exactly four years ago.

But the moment he saw a glimpse your eyelashes fluttering, your eyes adjusting to the darkness where you saw haechan’s face hovering over yours. He stands frozen like a statue, dead silence. Y/n must’ve felt her stomach twist and turn, overburden by massive butterflies flying around to escape the lower abdomen. Heart skipped a beat in unison. Breathing was on holt, making you forget how to breath.

He didn’t want to be caught. He didn’t want his relationship with you change, as much as he craved a change, he was scared of it happening in reality. Haechan would rather keep fantasising about it in his head treating it like a delusional crush that will pass. Because he never knew somebody like you.

He would rather know and keep you around instead of using you because of his personal romantic feelings he holds deeply for you. He knows you don’t feel the same way, so what was the point of confessing exactly to you? The only answer was rejection from you. He wouldn’t want to lose you just because of his selfish feelings he has.

Caught by surprise when two cold hands crawl on his sharp v-jawline, with a strong force pulling him softly in on warm lips. The boy lets out a small gaping gasp that your ears picked up. You pull away from the small kiss you gave him, watching him lovingly under the bright moonlight creeping in through the windows behind your back.

Haechan eyes you hungrily, like it was a dream of his, honestly speaking he gaslights himself to believe this was just a dream of his happening; the boy lightly pulls you by your waist underneath the bed duvet covering you both. Captivating your lips in another kiss, but this time it was much more passionate. He was taking little control over time, he explores your tongue inside and out as well as your soft lips that smell of vanilla chapsticks you always put on your lips durning class.

Who knew he could get so addicted on the fantasy he could only dream about? The real deal was so much better than haechan could ever imagine. You were his bane of existence knowing that you’re going to be the death of him. He wonders what did he do in his past life to deserve such torture for over four years, pretending to not have any feelings for you. Having to deny them to his best mates.

Having to watch you speak about guys you were finding attractive. Hell he even watched you go through a breakup once and that is what pained him the most. He fought your ex and you ended up getting pissed at him, because you weren’t aware of his feelings he held for you. Haechan swears he’d never dare make you cry. It’s the last thing he wants to do to you.

Y/n’s lips quiver against the aggressive synchronised movements as you wrap your fingers round his beautiful long curly locks. He breaks out the kiss, murmuring words you couldn’t ever imagine.

“I’m such a coward. Fuck it.” He tells to no one specific but only himself, as if it was a pep talk.

“I love you, y/n.”

Brave words coming to the surface just like the colour rushing to his cheeks, thankfully the darkness covers it enough that you wouldn’t be able to see how nervous he was to the point he would be blushing like a twelve year old boy confessing to his first love; the giddy little feelings you’d thing was left behind in his puberty years, weren’t really gone.

“Hyuck..” you mutter as you watch him, seeing the girl’s eyes tremble a little as your fingers slowly unlock from the hair. You trace your hands around his face bringing him in a warm embrace close to your necktie where he rests just above the chin.

He was preparing himself for a rejection. Closed eyes shut as he enjoys the last embrace that he managed to make himself believe that it was the last time he will ever see you, ever speak to you and the humiliation will traumatise him truly. He was scared.

But when your soft voice haunts his mind with a twist of words that he never believed at first before his pupils open wide, face rushing to the surface to watch you as the only light source was from the bright full moon.

“I love you too. Always have.”

Maybe…maybe this wasn’t a dream. Haechan prays it wasn’t.

He never knew he found someone that fell just as hard as he did, because the moment his eyes laid on round bambi eyes he swore he saw his own reflection in your eyes.

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@onyourhyuck please refer from translating, copyrighting and plagiarising my work thank youu <3 reblog this fic and follow me for more it helps a girl out.

[fkinavocado]

In which you’ve got textbook daddy issues and when your tool of a younger brother brings a sweet doe eyed girlfriend home for Thanksgiving and you end up offering her a ride home, you meet just the man to fix them.

Daddy issues- Masterlist, Author’s Note & Warnings

Chapter 20 / alternatively, read on wattpad

Chapter 21 (Word count: 5.7k)

The ambulance’s siren seemed to effectively snap everyone out of it. Your mother must’ve called one from the car when your father took the fall and never got back up again. Nobody even checked his vitals, for all you knew he could’ve hit his head that hard against the pavement that he would never be getting back up again, but you didn’t even think to check, and surprisingly neither did Derek. He was just as frozen in shock as you all were.

The only one who dared utter a word was Emily, calling out to her dad, but Harry just sat there, staring at your father on the ground, clenching and unclenching his fist. You could tell he’d definitely heard her, but he didn’t dare turn back and face her. 

How long had she been standing there? And what’s worse, her mother, Harry’s ex, was with her- although he didn’t know it yet. 

You didn’t know how much time passed between Emily calling out for him and the ambulance arriving. Could’ve been seconds, minutes. You couldn’t be sure. Everything was hazy, as if you were witnessing it all unfold in a dream. 

But when the sirens pierced the silence and its lights danced upon Harry’s face as it approached- you hadn’t unglued your eyes off him for a second- everybody flinched as if an hypnotist had snapped his fingers and you were all back to reality. The paramedics made their way in between you and Harry, crouching to aid your father, but you still couldn’t look away from him. 

Finally, his eyes zeroed in on you and you just stared at each other. So much was being said between the two of you just then. More than you’d probably told each other the whole time you’d been together

You opened your mouth to say something but a different kind of siren interrupted you, and all too soon you could hear your mother as she was talking to the police, informing them of what had happened. 

You still couldn’t get the words out of your mouth, and all was happening so fast. The paramedics were taking your father away on a stretcher, and officers were asking Harry to come down to the station, all atop your hysterical mother who all of a sudden had found her voice seemingly and was shouting at the police to “Arrest this man! He’s a danger to society! He knocked out my husband out of the blue, unprovoked, he seduced my daughter, she’s old enough to be his own child, my husband was merely defending her honour--”

“Ma’am, let’s take this to the station, you can file a report if you wish to press charges” one of the officers was escorting Harry to their car while the other tried to reason with your mother

“I can’t go right this minute, I need to go to the hospital with my husband!”

“Ma’am,--”

“It’s ok mom, Y/N and I will go with dad”

“No I’m not! I’m going with Harry!”

“Stop it, Y/N” Derek gritted his teeth “You’re making a scene!”

“Let go of me!” you shouted, extricating yourself from his vice grip on your elbow and you could see Harry turn around immediately but could not actually head back, the officer stopping him “Harry!” you shouted after him desperately “Stop! Why are you taking him away like some sort of criminal!?”

Just then, you watched as Harry’s ex was signalling driving off and you realised that she’d be heading in the wrong direction-the police station wasn’t that way, and before you could even think it through you ran towards the car and hit the passenger’s window repeatedly with your palm “Wait! Stop! What are you doing! Emily!”

The window rolled down and although Emily averted her eyes, her mother spat “Step away from the car!”

“The police station is the other way around!” she tried closing the window but you pushed it down and she couldn’t very well drive off, else she'd run the tires over your feet, you were standing too close for her to make the left turn “Stop! Go to the station, go with him! Give a statement! You saw what happened, right!? Right?! He needs eye witnesses in his favour!”

“Trust me, last person he wants there is me giving a statement about his violent streak! Step away or so help me God--”

“You wouldn’t! You wouldnt’! This is different…!”

“Oh, spare me. I don’t know what he told you but trust me, it’s worse than you think”

“He told me the truth!”

“The truth about what?” Emily chimed in. Her mother looked at her as if just then realising she shouldn’t have mentioned it “Truth about what, mom?”

“Please don’t do this! He’s better! He really really struggled to hold back, he was provoked, trust me he wouldn’t have done anything, I don’t know how long you’d been standing there--”

“Shut up!” Emily shrieked “Shut up, shut up, shut up! Get away, and don’t ever come near us again! He’s my dad, this is none of your business, how dare you! Look what you got him mixed up in! Look what you did! Your family is nothing but trouble, you’re just like your brother! I see it now for what it is!” 

You looked at Emily dumbstruck, she was having a very violent reaction, tears were streaming down her face uncontrollably, she was shaking and gasping for air and it was clear to you that all her pent up anger towards your brother was finally surfacing, all the stuff she wouldn’t even admit to herself about him were now felt at high intensity. And you were the sole recipient right that very moment

You saw the police car finally drive off, the ambulance was long gone and Derek was tugging at your elbow yet again “No! Let go of me!”

The second he pulled you away, Harry’s ex drove off, in the opposite side of where she should’ve been going, of course, and you realised your mother had probably left with the ambulance and you were left alone with your brother 

“You’re going to the hospital. Go be with mom. I’ll go to the police station and file a report against that piece of shit. Drive to the hospital, Y/N. Do it. Now!”

“You can’t make me! Let go of me!”

“Don’t make me, Y/N!”

“Oww!!!” you yelped, clutching your right hand with your other

You didn’t wait for him to recover from his stupor, and ran to your car. The engine had been running all this time, the door open from when Harry had pulled you out of it and straight into his arms. You got in, closed the door and secured it watching your brother shake his head, trying to clear it. 

You’d hit him pretty hard. 

You’d hit him so hard, in fact, that you were sure you’d broken some bones in your hand, you’d probably clenched your fist wrong. You’d clocked him right in the side of his face, probably got his brow bone or cheekbone-whatever it was, it hurt like a bitch.

You could hear him shout profanities at you but you didn’t wait for him to reach your car or get in your way, driving right off. You screamed in pain when you had to put the car into drive, but otherwise nothing was going to get in your way as you sped towards the police station.

*

One of the officers nearly chuckled when he saw the frenzied state you were in telling you to relax, and reassuring you that your friend wasn’t under arrest “We’re just waiting on the medical report so that we know if we need to hold him in custody or not, but it looks like it’s gonna be a class C misdemeanour”

You furrowed your brows, realising you only cared about your dad being ok so that Harry wouldn’t get into trouble “What does that mean?”

“Means he’ll have to pay a fine if they decide to press charges and it’ll go on his record but otherwise he’s free to walk away”

You nodded nervously “And what if… the injury is more severe?”

“Then it gets complicated”

“Can I give a statement? I’m an eyewitness and directly involved in this”

“Of course. Follow me.”

“Excuse me” a man interrupted “Y/N L/N, right?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m Harry’s lawyer. Gonna go in with you, if that’s alright with you? He just finished back there. Told me I might bump into you” a smile crept on his face and you didn’t know why he felt like smiling at a time like that but still, you accepted his offer

“It’s Niall by the way. Niall Horan”

You tried your best to smile back at his introduction but probably failed miserably. He was way too chirpy for your linking considering the circumstances.

“Gonna need a word with my client first before she gives her statement” Niall announced and the officer nodded and let you use the room privately

“Your client?”

“Harry’s orders” Niall smiled raising his hands in mock self defence “Just trying to make sure your statement coincides with his. So that it doesn’t do more harm than good”

“What?” you grimaced “How would I be doing more harm, I’d just tell the truth”

“Look sweetheart, I know you mean well, alright? I know. Harry told me, you’re his girlfriend, right? Relax. I’m not saying you’d deliberately get him into trouble, I’m just saying sometimes, in the heat of the moment, you might say something that doesn’t align with what he’s stated, and that could prove hindersome”

“Don’t sweetheart me! And stop patronising me! The truth is the truth there’s no way around it, what could I possibly say that would be different to what he’s said”

“Ok, then, let’s run over his statement. I have it here, my own copy of it�� he opened his briefcase and took it out, and read off it “Says here, you’d driven to his house and soon after, while you were both still in the driveway, your parents and your brother pulled up, and the latter stepped out and approached you. Correct so far?”

“Yes--”

“Then he began trying to antagonise Harry. He insulted you upon finding out that the two of you formed a couple, something that your family was unaware of from what I gathered, and then he also made some crude remarks about Emily, Harry’s daughter, who is also in a bit of a pickle with your family. I’m handling that case as well. To be more precise, your brother, the same Derek L/N planted marijuana on Emily when he got pulled over for speeding and let her take the fall for it” he looked up from the piece of paper “Now I must stress that this is important. We had not mentioned this to the police thus far, hoping to reach an amicable agreement with your brother in which he would give a statement taking the blame upon himself, as we have evidence that he has been dealing drugs. But this is all now in Harry’s current statement. So there’s no turning back”

You just stared into space and Harry’s lawyer waited for you to say something until he cleared his throat “See, this is the kind of stuff that could’ve proved hindersome. Do you have any issues with his statement, Y/N? Are you of a different opinion? Do you think your brother is innocent of those accusations?”

After a beat you lowered your eyes to your lap “No. I don’t. I know it’s true. And Harry told me he’d hired a PI and that he’s got evidence to prove he’d been dealing”

Niall’s eyebrows raised “Ohhhkay. He did not tell me about that little detail. Was supposed to be classified information, that. Guess it’s a good thing you agree, then. Did you by chance happen to share this information with your family?”

You looked at him then, taking in his ridiculously relaxed attitude towards all this “No, I did not. Of course not!”

“I’m just checking, darling, can never be too sure--”

“Would you stop with the pet names! I thought I was supposed to be your client!”

“Aye, you sure are a feisty one aren’t ya? This is how I talk to all my clients Y/N, I’m Irish, it’s the same way brits call everyone “love”. But if it offends you, I’ll refer to you as Miss L/N going forward”

You sat back in your chair, crossing your arms against your chest “Please do, Mr. Horan”

He grinned at you even brighter then, shaking his head amusedly which only infuriated you more “Alright. So. Going back to Harry’s statement. Your father then intervened, and began manhandling you. Harry says you’d confided in him prior to this and told him that he’d been abusing you growing up, that he’d been violent. This is another thing you might feel differently about… Do you?”

Your eyes began to water. It was all coming out in the clear and it felt monumental. It wasn’t all just in your head anymore, wasn’t all just a memory of all you’ve suffered for all those years. It was something people were now getting to know about, something the police got to hear about. “No. It’s all true” your voice was strangled and small, but you mustered through

Niall seemed to sober up a bit too after this, his voice more soothing “Harry intervened then, confronting your father verbally, not even insulting or threatening, just stating facts he knew from you. Then, your father insulted you and that’s when Harry delivered an uppercut to your father’s jaw and essentially knocked him out”

You nodded in agreement. 

“Ok. Gonna need you to write it down exactly like that when the officer comes back in, I’ll read over it to double check and then you can sign it and we’re outta here. I’ll go get him, and find out what’s the status on that medical report”

You nodded again and waited not so patiently. You were a jittery mess, realising the implications of your statement. You were helping Harry and essentially digging your brother’s grave even deeper. 

And it wasn’t that you thought he didn’t deserve it, he most certainly did, especially after what had just happened, but the gravity of it all was affecting you, how could it not? 

The lawyer came back with the officer “It’s alright, miss L/N. Your dad suffered a concussion but he’s in no danger. He’s going to be released tonight, doesn’t even need to stay under observation. They did a PET scan and everything, he’s fine”

You felt relieved. For Harry’s sake. And then you gave your statement just the way Harry had recounted it “Oh! I forgot to mention something!”

Niall furrowed his brows, looking at the officer “A minute?”

“No, it’s fine” you didn’t wait for him to reply “I punched my brother. It’s why I can barely hold  a pen and write. Just in case he tries to pin that on Harry, I want it written down”

Harry’s lawyer laughed. Laughed. A very colourful laughter, too “Ohkay, miss Y/N. Pen that down as well. What’s another fine at the end of the day, just put that on Harry’s tab” he winked towards the officer who also chuckled and you couldn’t believe how casual everyone seemed to be about this

Guess it was all just in a day’s work and actually the preferred outcome to other possible things these guys were handling on the daily.

“Ok, you’re done here, let’s go” Niall nudged you while you passed by him “Well done. Nice finishing touch, if I do say so myself”

You were beyond trying to gauge how appropriate what he was saying was, and you didn’t care right that minute either, ‘cause walking down the hallway you spotted Harry sitting there, waiting.

He stood up when he heard footsteps approaching and saw that it was you and without hesitation, you threw yourself into his arms which he immediately opened up for you

“C’mon, I’ll drive you guys”

“No, it’s fine, I drove here. We’ll take my car”

Harry picked up on your dismissive tone and glanced at Niall “Is everything alright?”

“Let’s just go” you half whispered

He shook Niall’s hand, and holding you under his arm, walked you out of the police station. You didn’t know whether he’d paid his fine, or how any of that even worked, but he was apparently free to go. Heading towards the parking lot, you eyed your father’s car that Derek had driven there, so you knew he’d made it to the station and was probably giving his own phoney statement. You handed Harry your car keys “Here, you drive”

“Of course” he walked you to your side and opened the door for you. He was being especially gentle with you and extremely quiet, and you were thankful for it. You didn’t feel like talking either.

What was there to say? You’d both been there. You’d both had to recount it all to the police already. You’d run out of words.

All you could do was feel. 

After a short drive to Harry’s home, he parked your car and then unlocked the front door and opened it up for you “Go grab a shower if you want, or just go to bed. I’ll…” he gestured, holding his phone and you realized he wanted to see what Emily was doing

“Sure. Take your time”

You turned to go inside but he caught your hand gently, and you winced, his eyes widening in worry “I… I punched Derek. Thought I’d fractured something but it’s not as bad anymore”

“Are you sure? Let’s have it looked at--”

“No, Harry. It’s fine… I just need to sleep it off”

“Look for some ibuprofen in my nightstand, ok?”

You nodded then made your way to the bedroom. You really didn’t feel like it but you knew a shower was in order. You could barely believe you’d flown there and went through all that in the span of one day. You were both physically and emotionally drained. 

After you got out, you fished one of Harry’s t-shirts from the drawer you knew he kept the ones he slept in, looked for that ibuprofen, popped it in your mouth and swallowed it without water because you really couldn’t muster the energy to go get a glass of water, and  finally crawled into bed.

The comforting smell of him was more than enough to put you right to sleep but you desperately wanted to wait up. You were nervous of how his phone call with his daughter was going.

Judging by how she’d lashed out at you, it probably wasn’t pretty.

You waited a long while. You didn’t check your phone to see what time it was, it was probably extremely late into the night, but you were growing more and more worried and was contemplating going to look for him. You knew he needed his space to handle family matters, and that their relationship was their own and you’d probably already overstepped when you ran to beg both Emily and her mother to go give a statement as eyewitnesses in Harry’s favour, but you’d done it from a place of despair. 

Also, you’d unwillingly opened up pandora’s box in front of Emily, who had no clue about her father’s violent streak and the entirety of what had happened in the past when her parents got divorced. What if her mother had told her the whole truth of it and now it was all your fault for ruining his relationship with his daughter for good? She’d already found out that her dad was dating someone close to her own age (admittedly, with the 8 year age gap between yourself and her, it didn’t seem that close to you, but you could see why she would think so), she’d probably- most certainly witnessed him knock someone out. And then to find out Harry had almost killed her step father when he’d found out her mother had been cheating with him? You really hoped she wasn’t so cruel as to tell Emily about it just then. This was definitely something they needed to discuss as a family.

And you weren't part of that equation. And you understood that.

But the more you thought about it, the more you panicked. You hadn’t really allowed yourself to process all of it, but now that you were really thinking about it, the reality of the two of you being a couple had really messed with a lot of things that day. A lot of important things. 

You heard Harry open the door to the bedroom slowly and you realised that he thought you were asleep, and for some reason, you didn’t make any move to let him know you weren’t. You just stood there, tucked under the blanket, turned away and waiting to gauge his mood.

Had it been bad? Had he managed to reason with Emily? What was going on in his mind, in his heart?

He went through his drawer very carefully not to disturb your sleep and changed into one of those t-shirts he wore to bed himself, discarding his clothes quietly. 

He got into bed just as carefully, and you could tell he was laying on his back. You tried listening very carefully, see if you could tell by his breathing, but all he did was sigh deeply at one point. And you just couldn’t hold back anymore “I’m so sorry, Harry” you whispered, without turning around

He flinched a bit, seemingly genuinely surprised you were awake. He must’ve been deep in thought- he wasn’t close to falling asleep since he was not a back sleeper by any means “What, sweetheart?” he whispered back, turning towards you and scooting closer, hovering a bit over you

“I’m… I’m so sorry”

He placed his palm on your shoulder and gently nudged you to turn and lay on your back so that he could look at you. He brought a hand to your cheek and caressed it with his thumb “None of this is your fault, sweet girl. What are you sorry for? I was so worried you were mad at me. All that time at the police station until you walked straight into my arms I don’t think I relaxed a muscle”

You brought your own slightly swollen hand to his face then, mimicking him “What are you talking about? Why would I be mad?”

He furrowed his brows and hung his head, a loose curl falling into your face and tickling your nose enough for you to push it back and run your hand through his hair “Harry… please talk to me? I’m so scared about what all this means for us. I’m so scared… I don’t want to lose you” your breathing hitched and you could feel your eyes beginning to water, and you really really didn’t want to cry in front of him again. That was seemingly all you were ever doing lately and you were sick of it. This was about both of you, not just you and your own feelings

“Lose me?” he looked into your eyes then and you could see his were glazed over as well “It’s not about losing me, it’s about wanting to keep me. The monster that I am, everything you ever despised in a man… I tried so hard, Y/N. I really tried to keep my temper in check. And I managed with Derek, ‘cause he’s a kid and he probably doesn’t know any better. Even though I should’ve wrung his neck for doing what he did to Emily… any father would… but he’s young. Young people make mistakes… God knows I’ve made mine… and I’m still paying for them. Because apparently I’m not really any better than I was when I was young and foolish and let my temper get the best of me… but when your father just grabbed you like that, when he spoke to you like that, especially knowing what I know about him, something in me just snapped. I tried talking to him, you saw that I did… right?!”

“Harry… oh my God, Harry, slow down” you grabbed his face between your palms and held him steadily “What monster, what are you talking about?! Harry, listen to me. You’re nothing like him. You’re words apart. I would never, ever compare you to my father. Even for what you did to that guy, that’s entirely different… I’m not saying it’s justifiable considering you put the man in a coma, but I mean… it was totally different. What my dad did to me is inexcusable. I was just a kid… What wrong could I have possibly done to him to earn all those beatings? I couldn’t defend myself, he was the one that was supposed to shelter me and…” you shook your head “I don’t even wanna get into all that, that’s not the point here. The point is, you, Harry, you stood up for me. I know why you did it. I know you did it because you hate what he did to me. I know it came from a place of love. I know. Yes, it was you being violent but I feel like even with what happened all those years back… you loved your wife, your family. He threatened what was yours and that’s how you reacted. And I think that’s maybe how you felt this time around as well”

“It is. It is” he let his body rest atop of yours and buried his head in your neck “Please. Please say you believe it, Y/N. I couldn’t stand it. Couldn’t stand him touching you like that, not even once more. And once I knocked him out it took everything within me not to pounce on him. I wanted to. God knows I wanted to. I never felt this kind of rage before. I wanted to make him endure everything he’s put you through and then some. But I know it’s wrong, I know, logically, morally, but within my bones… it felt so right. I could feel it, I still can. But I didn’t. Because I couldn’t risk losing you, couldn’t risk have you see my like that. One punch was bad enough, I was terrified you’d never forgive me”

His voice was muffled and so urgent against your skin and you could feel his warm tears rolling down your neck as you held him close, closer, as close as you could get him against you. 

“I was terrified you wouldn’t forgive me, too”

“There’s nothing--”

“What about Emily? Had it not been for me, she never would’ve seen you do that. And her finding out about us that way… and… oh, Harry. I think I might’ve done something terrible…” he wanted to pull away but you held him in place, you couldn’t face him “I… your ex was driving off and she was taking a left turn, and I stopped the car and urged her to go to the police station… and give a statement as an eyewitness in your favour… and she said something about her being the last person that should be giving statements about your violent streak, and Emily was right there of course… and she was so confused… and asked her mom what that meant, and then she just… she lashed out at me but that’s totally fine because I understand why I’m the bad guy in this whole mess… I just… Gosh, Harry. I really hope she didn’t tell her. Not like this. Not now. I’m sorry Emily had to see that because of me… I’m sorry for everything… Please…” 

You were sobbing, shaking by then and Harry had to forcefully pull himself out of your arms and make you look at him, wiping your tears away, but it was futile, there seemed to be a steady stream and you were hysterical “I can’t bear the thought of ruining your relationship with your daughter… ‘Cause I know how precious that is. And how rare. And I just couldn’t, I couldn’t bear it, Harry!”

Harry shushed you, petting your hair, your cheeks, trying his best to console you and bring you down. You were shaking, gasping for air “Y/N, please, listen to me. Calm down, baby. Please calm down, you’re worrying me. You’re going to have a panic attack. Or worse. Please. Listen to me, alright? Nothing, none of this is your fault. Nothing. Emily is a big girl, she might not understand it now, but she will, she’ll come to terms with it. I love her to the moon and back but just like she went behind my back, when she promised me she wouldn’t be seeing your brother anymore, and even slept with him… if I can get over that, she’ll get over this. We’re doing nothing wrong, Y/N. We’re adults. We went into this consensually, and I know we both thought about having to face our families one day sooner or later. It may not be conventional, but damn if I care. Emily will get over it. As for seeing me beat someone up… I’ve made my bed and now I have to lay in it. If my ex told her about what happened, she didn’t let it on over the phone… I don’t think she knows. But she’s very upset with me. I’ll deal with it. She’s my daughter. I’ll fix it. I know it’ll be alright eventually… please don’t beat yourself up about it, sweetheart. It’s not your fault Please get that into that brain of yours. C’mon baby… no more tears, hm?”

You’d calmed down bit by bit while he talked to you soothingly and eventually after nodding in agreement you pulled him back atop of you and held him tight “There’s one more thing. And I’m really sorry. I tried so hard not to tell you like this, not today, but I can’t hold it back anymore”

“What is it, baby? Stop saying that, please… you can tell me anything. I want you to tell me everything. I promise I’ll always hear you out, and we’ll try and solve it, whatever it is. I want us to communicate” he tried to pull away again to face you but you once again held him tightly “...Y/N?”

“I’m sorry. I wish I could hold out and not have the memory of telling you this on this horrible day. But I love you so much, Harry. I love you so much, it physically hurts to keep it from you a second longer. You don’t have to say anything back. It’s been a rollercoaster of emotions, and you need to process everything, I know, I just really can’t go on another day without telling you how much you mean to me. I’d be so lost without you. I can’t imagine my life without you, don’t know how I’ve made it this far without you in it”

He pulled away finally, you let him look at you and you searched his eyes trying to read his reaction but all he said was “You’re damn right I’m upset” your heart fell so hard and so fast you could physically feel yourself getting nauseous when he startled you with a kiss. He pressed his lips to yours so hard that you could feel his teeth against yours, crushing your lips in between almost painfully so “I’ve been postponing telling you for ages for that exact same reason, every time I wanted to tell you, something or the other came up, and I held off, like an idiot!” he grinned and you blinked at him confusedly at the way he was scolding you and smiling the brightest smile he’s ever given you “Don’t look at me like that! You’re a cheater! You stole the show! I had it all planned out… held off so many times, so many times… fuck, I’m so pissed. And so incredibly happy. I’ve never been this happy. You make me feel like nothing could ever make its way inside my heart and make me sad, ever again. ‘Cause it’s just that full of love for you. There’s simply no room left. It’s just you… My little love. I love you so much it almost freakin’ made me develop a heart condition for keeping it a secret like that and there you go, just blurting it out, first chance you get!”

You kept blinking at him in disbelief and he just stared at you with that huge smile on his face and bent to kiss you over and over again repeating “I love you, God I love you” in between each of them “Nothing could ever take away from the happiness I felt hearing those words out of your mouth, Y/N. Nothing could ruin it. You’re so silly. And I was too, should’ve said it long ago, but held off like an idiot. Cause now I know nothing could’ve ever ruined the moment. Say it again?”

“... You’re… I…?”

“Please, baby” he whined “Please tell me, I swear I’ll never tire of it. Need to hear it, please let this be real”

“It’s real. It’s so real, Harry. I love you so much. I just can’t believe…” your throat was closing in again

“Shhh, no more tears, remember?”

“Oh, fuck off! I’m allowed to cry, this is monumental!” you both laughed, resting your foreheads against the other’s. You sighed, looking deep into his eyes “I can’t believe you wanted to tell me sooner. I wanted to tell you way sooner, too. It’s not the first chance I got. I just worried it was too soon, it scared me how much and how strongly I felt for you”

He kissed you then, slow and gently this time, taking his time to savour you properly in what felt like ages  “It scares me too. Terrifies me. But I don’t care. I love you. Have me, have all of me. Chew me up and spit me out, I don’t care. It’s worth it. No matter what happens going forward.”

Chapter 22

A/N: TOOK THEM FREAKING FOREVER BUT OK GRHGHLRDGRD ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh so excited to finally reach this part 🥺💓💓

💕 like & reblog if you enjoyed this, lovelies, and most importantly, please come share your thoughts on it here 💌

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[ereardon]

Slow Burn [Chapter 5][Hangman x Reader]

Summary: A one night stand with Hangman disrupts the fresh start you were looking for when moving to San Diego. The unexpected pregnancy forces you two to move fast, and brings with it some hurdles along the way as you and Jake learn how to live with each other. As the months go by, you slowly get to know the real Jake, but when old flames reappear and work obstacles threaten to topple everything, your relationship is put to the test. 

WC: 4.6K

Warnings: Cursing, pregnancy, no use of Y/N, abusive relationship, major angst

Full series masterlist here

You had left New York in search of a fresh start. California was the opposite of everything you had ever known, and that was part of the draw. Lucy had promised endlessly sunny days and fresh seafood. But finally leaving Brody behind was the goal. 

He had started as a prince. Until he wasn’t. It was a whirlwind romance, and then a hurricane. That’s how it always was with Brody. Ultimate highs, followed by ultimate lows. In the beginning he was up. So far up you didn’t know just how low he could go. How far he would dip down. 

Had you known, you never would have said yes.  

It wasn’t until after there was a ring on your finger, a small courthouse ceremony near Chambers Street, cardboard boxes in a new apartment, that you realized the full depths of his potential. It wasn’t until the night where he had you by your hair, head wedged between the wall and the bookcase, when you realized the extent of awful he truly had the capacity for. 

And you fought back. Fought to leave him. But he always made a case to stay and somehow, so did you. The excuses piled up, on both sides. He pushed you to the floor because you forgot to call before you got on the subway and your cell reception was cut off. The next day, two dozen roses showed up at your desk. A cycle, endlessly repeating. 

He was manipulative in a way you didn’t understand until it was too late. One day you woke up and your thoughts weren’t yours anymore and you weren’t sure what was your own and what belonged to him. What actions had come from words whispered into your ear while you were asleep. 

He was dangerous. He always had been. It had just taken you far too long to realize it. 

The day you left, the sky was crying. Fat drops of rain slid down the thick window of the plane as you repeatedly twisted a ponytail holder in your fingers, waiting for the plane doors to close and the captain to confirm you were pushing back from the gate before you dared take a breath. 

You had been careful, but not careful enough. He found you anyway. 

Every gaze in the room turned to you, but you only had eyes for Jake. Jake, whose soft green eyes slid over your face, trying to absorb what you had just said. Jake, who was desperately begging you to say it was a joke, some kind of twisted game, that none of it was real. But it was.  

“What?” he asked quietly, and you begged him silently to just listen. Not to rush to conclusions without hearing the full story.  

“You heard her,” Brody said and you snapped. “Shut up,” you screamed, sliding quickly into old habits. “Why can’t you just leave me alone?” 

“You’re my wife,” he said with a snarl, stepping closer and Jake instinctively held out an arm, blocking him from getting to you. “Back off, man.” He pushed Jake’s arm, which didn’t move an inch.  

“She doesn’t owe you anything,” Jake gritted from behind his teeth. “Don’t you dare get near her.” 

“I asked for a divorce and you said no,” you spat. “How much clearer do I have to be? You need to leave, Brody. You’re not welcome here.” 

“I can’t believe you let him touch you,” Brody smirked. “Let him knock you up like a fucking whore.” 

You opened your mouth to yell, fight back, do all of the things you had always wished you would have done, but Jake’s fist made contact with Brody’s face before you could even formulate a word. The smacking sound of his hand hitting skin bounced against the walls, and you heard Lucy gasp from the other end of the table. 

Jake yanked open the door, shoving Brody outside by his collar into the yard, where he climbed on top of him, landing another punch to his jaw. The entire team filed outside, Coyote and Rooster rushing toward Jake and pulling him off with a struggle, Brody gasping beneath him, face covered in blood. 

A few neighbors exited their houses, concerned looks stitched across their faces as they took in the sight in front of them. Lucy came up behind you, wrapped her arms around your shoulders. 

The revolving red lights shook you from your daze, a squad car squealing to a halt in front of the driveway. You watched in shock as they cuffed both Jake and Brody, despite Rooster’s attempt to explain the situation. Jake was pushed into the backseat of the first squad car, followed closely by Brody in the second. 

“Fuck,” Lucy whispered, as Rooster made his way back up the steps. 

“Kate?” he asked, grabbing you by the shoulders, his voice calm but intense. “Kate, we have to go. We have to go to the station and bail Jake out.” 

You nodded wordlessly, and Lucy grabbed your purse and keys. “She can’t drive,” she whispered to Rooster, who gave you a worried look and took in your state of shock. “I’ll take her and we’ll meet you guys there.”

The rest of the team gathered their belongings and filed out, patting you gently on the arm. Phoenix breezed past you last, a lingering look before she clicked open her car and got in with Coyote. 

At the station, you sat in an uncomfortable chair against the wall along with the rest of the team. Rooster handled all of the paperwork at the desk, and a kind policeman offered you something to drink, taking in your pregnant stomach, which you declined but began to regret once your mouth went dry. 

“Kate Richardson?” A man in uniform appeared at the door and you stood. 

“That’s me.” 

“Your husband has been released.” 

You squeezed your eyes closed and sighed. Brody appeared behind him, and the officer handed him a small plastic bag. He dragged his phone, wallet and keys out, and shoved it back in the man’s hands and you winced. His face had been cleaned of blood, but you could see scratches and redness across it. He had been handsome, once. Too handsome. That had been part of the problem. 

He took a step toward you and you started to back up, immediately bumping into something. Turning, you saw that Rooster had stepped right behind you, and he placed both hands on your shoulders. 

Brody looked at you and Rooster, and then out at the full team settled into their chairs. “So this is it, huh?” he asked sharply. “This is what you left me for?” 

“I left you because you’re an abusive prick,” you said quietly, and the air in the room stalled. 

Brody laughed and shook his head. “Stop making things up, baby.”

“Don’t gaslight me.” 

He stepped closer and you felt Rooster’s grip tighten, ready to pounce. “Don’t get too close, man,” Rooster warned. 

Brody seethed. “She’s my wife, dickhead. I’ll get as close as I want.” 

You shook your head. “Not anymore. I asked for a divorce. Or are you going to pretend like that never happened.”

“And then you up and left,” he shrugged. “I ripped the papers up. Sorry.” There wasn’t an ounce of apology in his words. 

“What the fuck are you doing here?” you demanded. “What did you think coming here would accomplish?”

“I wanted you back,” he said, matter of fact, and you had to choke back the bile that rose in your throat. Brody’s dark eyes roamed over your face, your belly, and you had an unpleasant wave of memories come crashing down. Brody’s hands on you during sex, gripping so tight he left bruises. His warm breath in your ear whispering how much he loved you, how he was going to take care of you forever. And then there was you. Stupidly, naively, beliving him. Believing him when he said that he was your family now, because you had nobody left. That you owed him something. He acted like he had picked up the pieces and made you whole, but he had only ever broken you.

“But now I see just how tainted you are,” he spat. “Dirty. And I’m not so sure I want you back.” 

You sagged a little, and Rooster moved his hands to your upper arms, supporting you from behind. 

“Leave, Brody, or else I’m going to go get one of those cops to lock you up again. Do us all a favor and never come back,” Lucy said, coming to stand next to you and Rooster and you shot her a look of appreciation. 

Brody lunged forward and for a split second you thought he was going to hit you. Here, in the middle of the police station waiting room. Automatically you turned your head, bracing for impact. The rest of the dagger squad leapt to their feet. 

Instead, he inched in closer, his face close to yours. “This isn’t the end of our story, Kate,” he whispered and you had to keep yourself from shaking at his proximity. “You’re mine.” 

And then he pulled back, walking briskly through the double doors and into the darkness. You instinctively turned around in Rooster’s arms and pressed into his chest, and his arms came around you. “It’s OK,” he whispered, looking up at the doors, his voice rumbling through his chest. “He’s gone.” He didn’t sound so sure.  

When you pulled away, you saw the full team looking at you. You opened your mouth to explain, make them understand, when another policeman appeared in the doorway. 

“Who is here for Jake Seresin?”

“Us,” the team chimed in unison. 

Jake emerged from behind the divider, taking his phone out of the plastic bag and gently handing it back to the officer on duty. “Thank you, sir,” he said. 

“Goodnight Lieutenant,” the man responded, shuffling to the side to let Jake past. 

You watched as he looked around the room. You expected his eyes to land on you, but they didn’t. Instead, he zeroed in on Phoenix. “Can I stay at your place tonight?” he asked and she nodded, reaching up to put her hand on his arm. 

They turned to the doors and you started after them. “Jake!” you said hoarsely, your dry throat cutting you off. “Jake!” 

Neither turned as you followed them out the doors into the chilled air. 

“Jake, please!” 

You watched as they got in Phoenix’s car, flicked on the headlights and pulled out into the night. Lucy came up behind you and put her arm around your shoulders. “Come on, let’s go home.” 

Coyote, Fanboy, Payback, Bob and Rooster all stood behind her, varying stages of guilt and concern across their faces. “What am I missing here?” you asked quietly, wiping at a tear on your cheek. 

Bob turned to Rooster, his eyes wide. “We should tell her.” 

“That’s Jake’s thing to tell her,” Coyote added and Bob shrugged. 

“Tell me what,” you demanded, looking around the semicircle. 

“Phoenix and Hangman used to date,” Rooster said finally and your eyes widened. “Back at the Academy. It was a long time ago, but we’ve always kind of thought there was still something there.” 

You pressed your hands to your stomach, felt the baby kicking erratically. Almost as if she was just as upset about this as you were. 

Bob and Rooster couldn’t stand to watch you just stand there, tears falling out of your eyes as you held your bump. 

“I’ll drive her back to the house,” Bob said quietly. “If you guys want to meet us there?” he nodded at Lucy and Rooster who agreed. “Come on,” he said softly, holding out an arm. “I got you.” 

You took it and let Bob guide you gently into the passenger seat of his truck. You were shocked that he drove a F-150. He was a mellow driver, quiet, no music. And to his credit, he didn’t wince or hesitate when you started to cry, your face turned out the window. He just kept driving into the night. 

***

Jake didn’t come home that night. When you woke up the next day, Rooster, Lucy and Bob were cleaning the kitchen, packing up leftovers and scrubbing dishes. They watched you with regretful eyes. 

“I told them,” Lucy whispered as she set a cup of tea in front of where you sat on a bar stool. “About Brody. About everything. They’re on your side.” 

You nodded weakly. 

A few hours later, the doorbell rang and you jumped up. Lucy rushed to open the door and you braced yourself against the wall near the powder room. You had so much you wanted to say to Jake. You just weren’t sure if he would listen. Maybe you didn’t deserve his time.  

But it wasn’t Jake at the door.  

“What are you doing here?” Lucy demanded, one hand on her hip. Rooster and Bob emerged from the kitchen. 

“I’m here to get some stuff for Jake,” Phoenix said, walking up the stairs. You followed after her, more of a waddle than anything, the others on your heels. 

“What do you mean getting stuff?” you asked as Phoenix barreled into Jake’s room, flicking on the master bedroom lights with ease. It was clear she knew her way around the house. The image of her and Jake burned behind your eyes. You hated that it made your insides squeeze in pain. 

“He needs clothes,” she said. “Shoes. Work stuff.” 

Rooster leaned against the doorframe. “Trace,” he said. “Come on, it doesn’t have to be like this. Talk to him. Get him to come home and hear her out.” 

“He doesn’t want to see her,” she said, her voice muffled as she bent over to fill a duffle bag. 

You reached back and sat on the edge of the bed. It felt like you were watching Phoenix move about the room through a screen. Nothing about the last twenty-four hours felt real. 

“I don’t blame him,” she added, her tone terse. 

“Phoenix, can’t you see you’re hurting her?” Bob asked gently, sitting down next to you on the bed and touching your arm softly. 

She emerged from the closet, depositing the bag on the ground near Rooster’s feet, and started into the bathroom, filling his leather dopp kit. “You want me to feel bad for her? She lied, Bob. She tricked Jake. She tricked all of us. I can’t believe you’re falling for it.” 

“That’s not true,” you said quietly. “I didn’t lie to Jake.”

Phoenix stopped and turned to stare at you. “You didn’t tell him, either.” 

“Brody is a bad person,” Lucy said. “You don’t know the full story.” 

“All I know is Jake said he needs some time to think about things.” Phoenix grabbed the bags from the floor and started down the stairs. 

Trailing after her, you stopped on the landing. “How much time?”

She shrugged and opened the door. “I’m not sure.” Phoenix looked pointedly at your stomach. “But you’re running out of time,” she said before walking down the steps and shutting the door behind her. You slumped to sitting on the landing. Bob reached down to comfort you. You hated that you were building a wall not only between you and Jake, but between Bob and Phoenix. They were a team. They all were a team. And you had strutted in and messed it all up.  

“He’s not coming back, is he?” you asked, teary. Lucy and Rooster looked at each other with worried glances, and Bob grimaced behind his glasses. 

“I don’t know,” Rooster said finally. “I’m sorry.” 

***

Two weeks passed and you still hadn’t heard from Jake. Rooster and Lucy stopped by the house almost daily to keep you company. Sometimes Bob would come by as well, and you’d make them dinner and try to pretend that everything was OK. But then they would shuffle off to their own houses, and you’d be left in Jake’s home. You moved back to your room. It felt too macabre to continue to sleep in Jake’s bed when you knew he was sleeping in Phoenix’s. 

You called once and left a voicemail, along with a handful of texts that got delivered and left on read. How could you blame him? 

Instead you made arrangements to move into a new apartment with Lucy. She and Rooster had started seeing each other casually, and you mentioned it one night over dinner to the two of them. She had nodded fervently, and the two of you had toured seven places before settling on one a few miles away with a view of the beach from the top floor. 

“Can you tell Jake,” you asked Rooster as he speared a piece of cucumber on his salad with a fork. 

“Tell him what?”

“That I’m moving out. He can come back,” you said, folding your hands on your stomach. “Or maybe he’s so happy at Phoenix’s he’ll never come back.” 

Bob and Rooster shared a glance and you narrowed your eyes. “What aren’t you telling me?”

“Nothing.” 

“Robert,” you said, turning to Bob with the best stern parenting face you could muster. He buckled. 

“He’s not staying with Phoenix anymore.” 

“What? Where is he?” you gasped. 

“He’s at a hotel.” 

“A hotel?” You squinted. “Fuck,” you whispered, putting your head in your hands. “I need to leave. This is his house, I’m being a burden. I need to leave today.” 

“Kate, no,” Rooster said. “Jake is fine where he is. We’re leaving in a few days anyway.” 

“What do you mean you’re leaving?” 

Lucy looked at you sadly over the takeout containers. “They’ve got another mission, babe. They’re leaving the day after tomorrow.” Rooster had his arm slung around the back of her chair, and his fingers reached out to squeeze her shoulder. “But it’s OK. It’s going to be OK. Let’s get you packed up and moved into mine tomorrow, and while they’re away we can get the new place decorated.” 

You pushed rice around on your plate and then dropped the fork. “How dangerous is this mission? How long are you going to be gone for?” Before you realized, you had tears in your eyes. “I am seven months pregnant, doesn’t he realize that? What if the baby comes early?” 

“Kate, you have to calm down. It’s not good for the baby,” Lucy warned and you stood up, your bump knocking the table. 

“I can’t calm down,” you gritted out. “The father of my child refuses to speak to me. Every night I go to sleep terrified that I’m going to wake up and Brody will be here. And now I find out that Jake is sleeping in a hotel? That he hates me so much he would rather pay for a hotel than come back and try to talk things through?” You padded over to the sink and stretched out your arms, bending over and breathing heavily. 

“Bob’s going to stay here with you tonight,” Rooster said quietly from behind you. “Make sure everything’s OK and that you feel safe. And tomorrow we’ll come help you pack up.” 

You turned around and wiped away a tear. “You don’t have to do that.” 

“I want to,” Bob said softly and the smile on his face made you launch yourself into his arms. You felt his hesitant arms come around you, pat you softly on the back. “You’re OK, I promise.” 

Pulling back, you looked at the three of them. In the span of only a few weeks, they had become the family you had so desperately wanted with Jake. “I can’t thank you guys enough,” you whispered. “For defending me. For standing against Jake and Phoenix and the rest of the team.” 

Rooster pulled Lucy in against his chest and smiled. “It’s not difficult to side with the right thing, Kate.” 

Later that night, you and Bob had settled into the couch watching a cooking show. Outside the sky was pitch black. You reached out in front of you for your water bottle on the coffee table when the baby started to kick, fiercely, into your side and you doubled over in a grimace. 

“Kate?” Bob asked, his voice picking up at the end. “Are you OK?” 

You tilted your head up and grunted. “Fine. She’s just kicking. Hard.” 

“Oh, OK.” He looked relieved and you almost laughed. Bob was your favorite of the squad by far. Rooster was a close second — he was dependable and strong and he obviously cared about Lucy. Bob was quiet and unassuming, but he was also a silent leader. He had taken your side and you never once saw him crack. 

“Can I ask you a question?” 

“Of course.” 

“Tell me about Phoenix and Jake. Their backstory.” 

Bob looked down at his hands, tangled in the large blanket that you had thrown over both of your legs. 

“I just need to know,” you added. “Even if it hurts.” 

He nodded. “I didn’t go to the Academy, so this is all second hand. But from what I’ve heard, they dated off and on for about two years while they were there.”

“Was it serious?” Phoenix’s words from the birthday party about never having witnessed Jake in something long term rolled around in your head. 

“She met his parents, I know that.” 

You let out a sharp exhale. “I see.” 

“Hangman isn’t the settling down type,” Bob added. “Or at least I thought so. Until I saw how he looked at you.” 

You shook your head. “I think I ruined that.” 

“I think there’s still a chance.” You looked up into Bob’s warm chocolatey eyes. 

“Yeah?”

“You’re having his baby,” he said softly. “I know if I were in his shoes, I would be upset that you didn’t tell me. But I would want to give you the benefit of the doubt. And for the sake of the baby, I would want to try to make it work.” 

“I wish Jake would see it that way.” The baby kicked again, sharply into your ribs, and you lifted your sweater, running a hand along your bare stomach. “Honey, please, I’m in the middle of a conversation. Can you wait to kick the breath out of me until later?” 

Bob chuckled and you watched him eye your stomach. 

“Do you want to feel it?” you asked. 

His eyes widened but he nodded and you reached out to grab his hand, lying it flat against your stomach on the side, angled slightly down. The baby kicked right against him and he let out a gasp of shock. You laughed. “Wow,” he said softly. “That’s incredible.” 

You were so caught up that you didn’t hear the door open, or the creak of someone walking across the hardwood floor into the kitchen. It wasn’t until you heard a voice from a few feet away that you realized you two weren’t alone. 

“What, I leave so you move on to Bob? Fucking baby on board Bob?” 

Jake’s voice sent shockwaves down your spine and you and Bob whipped your heads to peer over the back of the couch. Jake stood in the kitchen wearing jeans and a hoodie, his face drawn and sullen. After two weeks without seeing him, you noticed how different he looked. His cheeks were sunken, he had bags under his eyes, he looked exhausted. 

“Jake,” you said, pulling your shirt down and pushing to standing. “Oh my God, what are you doing here?” 

“It’s my house,” he said and his tone almost knocked you off your feet. Ice cold. 

“Of course,” you said, closing the distance between the two of you. “I just meant, you’re here.” You breathed a sigh of relief and reached out toward him but he took a large step back. 

“I needed to get some stuff for the mission,” he said, turning into the kitchen. You followed after him and stood in the foyer as he walked upstairs. 

Bob appeared in the kitchen doorway, his face drawn and pale. “Go talk to him,” he whispered and you nodded, grabbing the railing and climbing upstairs slowly. 

“Jake,” you called out, entering the master bedroom. You hadn’t been inside since the day Phoenix came for his things. 

“Listen, Kate, I’m not here to talk. I’m here to get my shit and get out.” 

“Jake, please,” you begged and he stopped what he was doing, turned to you. “You have to let me apologize and explain. I wasn’t trying to hide anything from you, I swear. He’s part of a life that I was trying to leave behind.” 

He shook his head. “You said a long time ago that we didn’t really know each other.” You locked eyes as he zippered up the duffle bag. “You were right.” 

Jake took off down the hall and stairs, and you followed him slowly. In the kitchen, he rummaged around on the built-in desk. “Maybe we don’t know each other,” you said. “You never told me about Phoenix.” 

He looked up with hard eyes. “There’s nothing going on with me and Phoenix.” 

“That’s not what I’ve heard,” you said and Jake’s eyes flicked over to Bob in anger. 

“The fuck are you telling her, Floyd?” he yelled and you watched Bob freeze. “You think you can just come in here and play house with the mother of my child? In my house? Telling her fucking lies about me to get her to what, fall for you?” 

Bob stuttered and you held out your hands, walking in front of him like a human shield. “Don’t take this out on Bob! He and Rooster have been nothing but kind to me. You want to know why he’s here? Because I am fucking terrified to go to sleep at night by myself in this house. I’m terrified that one night, Brody is going to show up again and this time there will be no one to protect me from him. You don’t know him, Jake. You don’t know how dangerous he can be.” 

You looked down at your feet. 

“You don’t know what he’s done to me. What he’s capable of.” 

Jake’s eyes darkened and you watched his hands grip tightly on the back of the desk chair. You stepped closer to him, pressed one hand over his. 

“Jake, please. Come home. Can’t we just talk before you leave?”

He pulled his hand out from underneath yours and grabbed his bag from the floor, pushing past you into the foyer. 

“So that’s it? You’re just going to leave and not tell me when you’ll be back. If you’ll be back.” 

Jake was silent as he yanked open the door. 

“What do you want me to tell your daughter?” you asked and he froze. “You want me to have to tell her that her dad left before she was ever born? That he couldn’t keep a single promise he ever made. That he’ll never be around to protect her. That he didn’t care enough to meet her.” 

You wiped a tear from your eye as Jake turned to look back into the house. “Don’t you dare tell my daughter that I never loved her. She is the only thing I care about in this world.” His tone was sharp and it felt like he had his fingers laced tightly around your throat. “She is my daughter just as much as she is yours. Don’t try to threaten me, Kate. You will never win.” 

You watched as his taillights blurred into the night. 

He was gone.

A/N: The classic "things need to get worse to get better" situation I promise! Also I'm sorry I did Phoenix so dirty, but we needed some conflict! And since I've been asked — this is not the last chapter I promise. There will probably be two more chapters to come.

Tag list: @hotch-meeeeeuppppp @rosiahills22 @blue-aconite @barbiegirlbaby @justanothermagicalsara @my-soulmate-is-mycroft @lgg5989 @sqrlgrl22 @okayyypurrrr @khaylin27 @bleuisabella @abaker74 @fangirling-4-ever @dempy @backinwonderl4nd @cool-ultra-nerd @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy @belledawnidk @momc95 @oneelleandaneye @xoxabs88xox  @shanimallina87 @endofdays56 @lilylilyyyyyy @yougottalovefandoms @eringaitskill30 @skylarisaturtle @amj29292 @shawnsblue @krismdavis 

[biisexualemma]

boys ain't shit. oscar diaz

word count: 2.2k

warnings: swearing, lots of just angst and angry feminist energy and if this doesn't align with your beliefs, feel free to leave!

requested: 'Hey!! First I want to say that you are an amazing writer so talented! So I was wondering if I could request and imagine with spookyxreader and she overhears Oscar speaking about her or something like maybe she is to clingy or anything you think will fit and then she sort of starts to leave him alone does t opposite of what she heard he doesn't like drifts a little he sees the change questions her and she tells him why- and so angst to fluff If you hate please disregard And thanks anyway ❤️'

a/n: thank you for this lovely request, i only apologise that it took me so long to write! but i'm also glad it did because i kept re-writing this over and over again and it never came out right, but i really love this version! i changed it slightly from the request lol i was listening to 'your power' by billie eilish on a loop while writing this and a lot of anger and preaching came out-- oop-- but also not mad about it. i really like this and hope you do too! enjoy 🤍

on my block masterlist / main masterlist

anger bubbled in your chest but your cheeks were flushed pink with embarrassment. your stomach lurched, a mixture of emotions swirling through you. you were angry at him for being such an asshole, but mostly you were embarrassed that you'd found yourself in this position and hurt that he would think to treat you like this. he was an asshole, he always had been, you knew it before you started dating but, somehow, he still managed to worm his way in. mainly because when you were alone he was careful, and sweet, and kind. he cared about you, he told you any chance he got, and you believed him. you were always convinced he meant everything he said, which is why this stung all the more.

"nah, it ain't even like that— she's everywhere man, how you s'posed to shake a hyna like that?" their laughter rang through your ears as you stood, feet frozen in place, out of sight to them. "shit's ridiculous. she's always on top of me."

"man— if i had a hyna that fine on top o' me all the time—"

"the things i'd do—"

you shook your head, blocking out their vulgar comments and trying to rid of oscar's shrewd laughter filling your ears. you were sick to your stomach hearing him talk about you like that, to hear him encouraging his friends crude jokes about you.

you couldn't stop yourself as the small scoff left your lips, catching one of the boys' attention. sad eyes, his smile faltering when he spotted you tucked around the side of the house, listening to every word. "shit," you heard him mumble, nudging oscar whose back was facing you.

oscar always had a thing about keeping up his reputation, which you understood, to some extent, but this had nothing to do with that. this was his friends, talking about you as if you were an object to satisfy their needs. and he was encouraging them. this was you they were talking about, when he claimed to love you.

this wasn't a side to oscar you ever wanted to see, or believe existed. you knew how his friends could be, but to hear him condoning the shit coming out of his friends mouths, made you feel unbelievably uncomfortable.

not to even mention that he was being downright mean, and sleazy in talking about you. you could feel your anger growing the longer you stood there. oscar glanced over his shoulder, his face falling when his eyes met yours. your hands clenched into fists, biting down on the inside of your cheek.

you shook your head, finally knocked out of your state of shock, turning and stomping away from the group of santos. your breathing grew heavier, sweat dripping off you as the sweltering heat started to get to you. you were so angry you could cry. you trusted oscar with everything, it took you a long time to get to that point, and this is how he treated you.

you could hear his muffled calls from behind you getting louder as you continued to march away from the house. you yanked your wrist away when you felt his hand latch onto you, and carried on your walk home.

he sped up, jogging so he stopped dead in front of you, holding out his hands when you tried to manoeuvre around him. "i don't wanna talk to you right now," you spoke calmly, trying again to move past him, his hands latching onto your shoulders to keep you still.

"just— hang on will you—"

you shook your head repeatedly. "no—"

"i don't know what you heard but—" his grip tightened when you tried to wriggle free.

"no," you repeated harsher.

"y/n— c'mon— that was nothing—"

"oscar," you raised your voice, cutting off his ramblings. his eyes never left your face, his eyebrows unknitting when your frown deepened. he scrunched his eyes shut for a second, frustrated he'd upset you. he was annoyed with himself for being so stupid. "no," you repeated once more. his hands slowly released their grip on you, letting you walk passed him. you heard his curse under his breath, walking away from him.

you felt your lip quiver, a lump now growing in your throat as your anger turned into heartache. you weren't sure you wanted to forgive him. but, for now at least, you were going to give him exactly what he wanted. space.

-

hours later and you were stood in the middle of a crowded party, your teeth clenched around the rim of a red solo cup, biting nervously. you hadn't wanted to come, you would much rather have been at home with a pint of ice cream. but your friend convinced you that getting out of the house tonight would be better for you than wasting away your life thinking about boys and eating ice cream. so far, you weren't so sure she was right.

you'd lost count the amount of times you'd heard loosen up and, you should smile more, thrown at you tonight. you weren't in the right headspace to be surrounded by people who were drunk out of their mind, constantly telling you to cheer up. you wanted to shout out to the entire party, fuck off, so everyone would know to just leave you alone.

so when you spotted his familiar face across the room, having just entered the party, you almost lost it. "no," you muttered to yourself. "not happening," you shook your head. he had been exactly what you came here to get away from. you let out frustrated sigh, shoving your cup into your friends hand and pushing yourself out of the crowd of people.

you hoped to god that oscar hadn't spotted you. you could not hash this out with him right now, that pint of ice cream in your freezer at home was calling your name, and you were ready to claim it.

"fuck me," you felt a hand graze the small of your back. you shivered away from the unwanted touch, turning with a deep-set frown on your face, towards the stranger who'd touched you. "you're hot when you're angry like that—"

"i'm also a fucking psycho when i'm angry so back off," you spat harshly, pushing away the hand he held lingering on your skin. "and don't touch me again," the man backed up, his hands held up in front of him. you huffed, continuing to the exit.

you wrapped your arms around yourself as the cool night air hit your bare skin. you'd left your jacket inside, turning to retrieve it, you saw oscar walking right at you. deciding it wasn't worth the effort, you left, you'd rather freeze than have a conversation with him right now.

"i know you hate me," you heard him call from behind you, his pace quickening as he tried to catch up with you. "but you can't walk home by yourself."

you ignored him, hastening your walk so you didn't have to do this with him. you knew he was right, you knew how incautious you were being walking home late at night alone. but you also desperately wanted nothing to do with him right now.

"ma," you shook your head, trying not to lose it on him in the middle of the street. "c'mon—"

"no— you c'mon oscar," you halted your stride, not able to ignore him any longer. you might as well get it out of your system if he was going to keep persisting. "i have had it with men today. i never wanted to have to include you in that."

he ducked his head, a crease forming between his eyebrows you noticed now you'd stopped to look over him. his eyes rolled, letting out a heavy sigh he'd clearly been holding in for a while.

"c'mon," he tilted his gaze away from yours for a second, trying not to cave under your stare. "you know what the santos are like— it's not my job to keep 'em in check."

"it is when it's me they're talking about," you gritted your teeth, looking at him in disbelief. you'd expected that this was how the conversation was going to go down. which is exactly why you tried to avoid it, you simply didn't have the energy to stand here and explain basic human decency to him. "not to mention— it is literally your job. you run the santos."

"it's not that simple," he ran his hand over his face, taking a small step closer to you. his eyes meeting with yours, begging you not to run off again as he held out a cautious hand towards you. "they didn't mean anythin' by what they said— you think if they did i'd let them 'in an inch of you?"

"you're perpetuating a violent cycle of sexism and objectification by letting your friends talk about any girl like that," you felt your throat tighten, tears had, at some point, welled in your eyes. "and that's not even mentioning what you said about me."

he closed his eyes for a second, his hand dropping back to his side. he turned away from you for a moment, releasing a deep breath he'd been holding. "i didn't mean it," he shook his head, swinging round to face you again. his brown eyes, that you'd always been a sucker for, were literally boring into you. if you hadn't been so angry you would've done anything for him. "i wasn't thinking and i never thought you'd ever hear—"

"that makes it ok then?" you frowned, eyes narrowing at him. "god knows what else you've said about me when i haven't been around to hear it," you scoffed, crossing your arms over your chest, trying to keep up your appearance despite the tears threatening to fall.

"s'not what i meant," he threw is arms up in frustration. he had, in all honesty, been talking without thinking about what he was saying. he was tired and stressed about how stretched out his time was at the moment. he was taking on more and more work, and therefore, more and more stress and he wasn't dealing with it well. he clenched his jaw when you sniffled, wiping under your nose with the back of your hand. his eyelids drooped. "nena.."

"i just, don't get it," you let out a shaky breath, holding out your hands to stop him moving any closer to you. "if i was being too much, all you had to do was say."

his chest tightened hearing you talk about yourself like that. he shook his head, trying again to reach out to you but you only stepped further away. "you're not too much," he spoke quieter this time. oscar loved you, more than he'd ever loved a girl before, that much was true. he might be bad at showing it sometimes, maybe he let his frustration get the better of him a lot, and maybe he didn't simply tell you enough how much you meant to him. but he loved you, much more than you were aware of.

"then why would you say it?" your voice was soft, breaking when you spoke again. exhaustion was starting to get the better of the both of you. you didn't want to fight with him, you just couldn't get his words out of your head. why would he say it if he didn't mean it?

"it's not you," he reiterated, his lips pursed. he used his forefinger and thumb to unknit the crease between his brows. "it's everything else. with cesar fucking around, shit with the prophets, cuchillos— and then you," he ducked his head, pressing the palm of his hand into his forehead. "i don't know how to manage everything and make time for you."

"why didn't you just tell me?" your features softened, eyes watching him move under your stare. "it's what i'm here for."

he scrunched up his nose, shrugging. "i don't want you involved in santos business," you understood more than you did five minutes ago, but you were still holding yourself back.

"i'm already involved, oscar, it's too late for that," this caught his attention, his brown eyes focused on yours again. you weakened a little. "but if you would just talk to me instead of keeping everything to yourself, maybe we wouldn't be in this situation right now."

he nodded faintly, almost uncertain of where you were taking this conversation. last thing he wanted was to lose you because of something so stupid on his end. he reached out, you letting him come close enough now so he could take hold of your hands in his. he gave your hand a gentle squeeze, tugging you closer.

"you know, i love you," you mumbled now he was only inches away from you. "i don't wanna do this again so talk to me, please."

he nodded again, giving your hand another squeeze of reassurance. "i'll try," the way his brown eyes stuck to you made you believe he meant what he said. "i'll do better. promise. i'll keep the santos in check, too. you don't need to worry."

you sunk into his chest, letting him engulf you in a tight hug. you released a shaky breath of relief. his arms wrapped around you, your face squashed against his chest and your arms tightened around his torso. "love you, too, by the way," he mumbled, his mouth pressed into your head of hair. "so much."

[sserpente]

Raw Desire

Synopsis: Something is wrong with him. Something none of the Avengers, including Thor, understand. When Loki turns into his Jötun form unwillingly and begins to act in a very primal and aggressive way, their solution for the problem is to lock him up in a cell below the compound until it’s all over. It’s a disease, perhaps, one which only Frost Giants can develop. Only Loki is not sick. Loki is in heat--and his Jötun body will not rest until his most carnal desires have been satisfied...

Words: 9176 Warnings: Jötun!Loki, smut, fluff, symptoms of addiction

A/N: You wanted some Jötun!Loki, I wanted some Jötun!Loki... so here we go. Enjoy, everyone! 😏

Additional NSFW Warnings: breeding kink (a little bit, anyway), Loki is in heat (kind of, duh), lack of aftercare (at first...)

-

His antagonising scream tore through the entire compound. You flinched, alarmed. Loki. The heart-breaking sound of pain tugging at your nerves was followed by a loud thump—like a heavy metal door falling shut, locked for good. It had come from the cellar, where the Avengers stored weaponry and ammunition; along with provisory but secure prison cells of Wakandan technology for criminals until they could be handed over to the authorities.

When you reached the source of the rousing noise, you almost knocked straight into Thor. His muscly back resembled a thick fleshy wall that would break your bones if you collided with him with too much force and speed.

“What happened?” Out of breath, you moved around him—facing the culprit of the commotion. The eerie flickering camera right outside the cell door showed Loki knocking his fists repeatedly against the metal door. His knuckles were already bloody from the repeated impact, yet the door would not budge. Much more concerning, however, was his appearance. Loki’s skin—every inch revealed to the naked eye anyway—was blue, his otherwise enchanting blue eyes sparkling with mischief of a deep blood-red. Countless, unique and fleshy lines formed a complex pattern on his arms and the back of his hands, even his face and neck. Your lips parted, both in shock and surprise at what your eyesight had revealed to you.

“He’s losing his fucking mind.” Tony responded for Thor before the Thunderer could even open his mouth in defence. He came tramping into the room as mad as you had never experienced him, tapping away on a tablet in the process. “I told you it was bad idea to bring him back here, Point Break! What were you thinking?”

“Can anybody tell me what is going on?! Why is he… like this? Is he in pain?”

“In pain?! He almost killed Nat. If Wanda hadn’t interfered…” Tony did not finish the sentence—regardless, the threat of what consequences there would have been for the God of Mischief was clearly audible.

“This was unlike him. He had no reason to…”

“No? He pounced on her like a… like a…”

“Beast?” Bruce added matter-of-factly. His hands were in his pocket when he approached the scene and patted Thor on the back in an attempt of providing comfort.

“Maybe… maybe this isn’t his fault, Stark. I know my brother, he’s never acted like this before!” The God of Thunder roared in defence, his arms crossed.

“Yeah,” Tony retorted sarcastically. “You know your brother so well he even tried to kill us all. Three times. No. This man is evil. Look at him!”

Petrified, you risked another peek. Loki was downright animalistic, his fists still working the metal cell door. He was getting weaker, worn out—like the fire in his red eyes was slowly being extinguished to make way for weariness. There was something primal in his behaviour; something raw. You would be ignorant to deny it scared you.

“Tony,” you began, forcing your voice to cease the shaking, “What happened? Why did he attack Natasha? Was he hurt?” Your sudden concern for him was going to give you away. No, not sudden. It had always been there, hidden just beneath the surface of your heart. You had only kept it a secret because… because what?

Loki did not know you had been harbouring romantic feelings for him for a significant amount of time now. Dark, tall and mysterious, he matched not only your type but had hopelessly captured you with his melancholic and lonely nature, the grief in his stunning blue eyes. You refused to believe that Loki was evil, that he had ever truly wanted to harm his brother; and you were desperate to be his friend… and even more than that. But the God of Mischief had hidden his heart behind such a hard shell that you were worried you might never get him to open up to you.

You would by no means describe yourself as an altruistic person—but there was a both enamoured and depraved part of you which desired, longed, for him to like you back.

“Talk to me.” You stated, tilting your head when he flung his dagger at one of the battered punching bags in the training room.

“What?” He sounded almost scornful when he spun around to gift you an incredulous look.

“Talk to me, Loki. I want to know what’s going on in your mind. I thought I was… you are always so distant. You disappear in here every other night, you snap at everyone trying to speak to you. You look nervous, like something is trying to break out of you.” Like you are trying to get rid of monstrous amounts of bottled up energy, you added silently. “You seem so restless. What’s wrong?”

“What concern is that of yours?” He spat.

“See! That is exactly what I meant.”

Loki growled. “What do you want from me, (Y/N)?” You flinched when he used your full name as opposed to the nickname everyone called you by.

“Why? Why are you screaming at me, I’m just trying to help! Don’t you get it, Loki? I care about you. And I care about what you think, even if I am probably the only one in this bloody compound who does.” Now that was unfair. But it was also the truth. “Why are you pushing me away? Let me in…”

Desperately, you moved forward in an attempt to reach up and cup his face, only for him to grab your wrists and pull them away harshly.

“Let you in? All I have ever received in return for ‘letting someone in’ was hurt and hatred. Give me one good reason for why I should open up to you,” he mocked, releasing your hands as if they would burn his fingers if they lingered on your skin for too long. “Tell you about my sorrows.” Sorrows. He had sorrows.

“I am not them.” You simply said. “Not any of them. I am not Odin, not Thor, none of the Avengers.”

Blinking, you snapped out of your memory. You had had this tragic conversation only two nights ago. No matter what you had said, he would not tell you what was on his mind. Now you knew.

“Something is wrong with him.” You interrupted the discussion, one you had not paid any attention to, by silencing them with a loud and determined voice.

“You don’t say?”

“No, Tony, you don’t understand… Loki is… he is Jötun. Thor, has he ever voluntarily turned into his Jötun form?”

The God of Thunder thought about it for a moment—then, he shook his head. “No.” You gave him a meaningful look. “So… you think it has something to do with his species?”

You nodded slowly and swallowed.

“Then we keep him in here until he is better.” He concluded. Your eyes widened.

“What? Thor, no… you can’t keep him locked up in there! What if he doesn’t get better on his own? Are you going to incarcerate him forever?”

“That would be an improvement.” Tony tossed in bitterly.

“We have to help him.”

“We? (Y/N)…” Bruce remarked almost tauntingly.

“You’ll find us upstairs. We need to let the others know about… whatever this is.” Tony added. You gnashed your teeth when he and Bruce turned to leave. For an awkward moment, it was eerily still—right until another one of Loki’s screams tore through the uncomfortable silence. You flinched once more. He was howling in pain.

“You think it might be a disease only Frost Giants can get?” Thor asked with concern in his deep voice at last.

You shrugged apologetically. “Maybe…”

“Loki and I were going to return to Asgard next week. I shall ask around, one of the healers should be familiar with Jötun diseases.”

“Go as soon as you can. Your brother is in pain, Thor, can’t you hear that?”

The God of Thunder nodded absentmindedly. But if no one was going to do something about Loki’s suffering—whatever it was—immediately, you would do it alone. So you did what Loki would do first. You dug up his books.

-

Loki’s room was neat, tidy. The green bed had been made—there was not a single wrinkle in the fabric and the desk was all clean, not giving thin layers of dust only visible in the direct sunlight a chance. The books he had brought from Asgard, old, thick, yellowed and heavy, he had stored on a bookshelf higher than you could reach.

Sucking in a determined breath, you moved the desk chair in front of it. The polished wooden floor to your feet complained with an ear-piercing shriek as you did. Determined, you climbed up to study the titles. All of them were written in Nordic Runes, making you realise that your research would end up being a lot harder than you had initially assumed. You could not speak a word of Old Norse, let alone read those Runes. Never mind that… you needed answers—and Loki needed your help.

It took you two hours to go through the titles and have them translated via a website you had had to pay for (using Tony’s credit card details—desperate times called for desperate measures) to use its allegedly reliable services.

Then, finally, after what felt like half an eternity, you found a suitable page-turner. It was titled Mythical Creatures and Species across Yggdrasil—at least, that was what the website you used told you.

Eagerly, you opened the book searching frantically for the chapter on Frost Giants and began sucking up all the information you could get. The more you read… and the more you compared Loki’s symptoms to the described behaviour of Jötuns in the book, the more aghast you became. One thing was for sure. Loki was not sick. Loki was aroused.

Terror-stricken, you bookmarked the page, grabbed your phone and jumped to your feet, abandoning the pile of books on Loki’s floor. You needed to speak to Thor right now.

He was about to enter the bathroom when you found him, once again almost knocking into his broad form.

“I… I found something.” You choked out.

“What?”

“I found something… about Loki. Thor… he is not ill, not really, he is…” Biting your lower lip, you pushed the God of Thunder into the bathroom, shut the door behind you and sat down on the edge of the bathtub. “He is… aroused.”

“What?” He roared, blushing. “What do you mean he is aroused?”

“Look… I found this book, I…”

“You speak Old Norse?”

“No! I used… I used a translator. Thor, listen, please. It says here that to ensure their continued existence, male Frost Giants, every one-thousand years, experience the primal urge to copulate with females of their kind. Much like wolves or elves, this ‘heat’ usually begins with restlessness, extremely aggressive and possessive behaviour, unusual amounts of pent-up energy as well as an extreme hunger and loss of appetite at the very same time. Loki hasn’t showed up for lunch, dinner or breakfast and… he has been spending extraordinary times in the training room downstairs in the middle of the night lately. He barely sleeps, it seems.”

“Go on…”

“How old is Loki, Thor?”

“He is a little over one-thousand years… old.” He looked up in shock when he realised.

“That’s why he is in his Jötun form, Thor. He can’t control it, it’s not his fault, it’s… in his nature. God…” You had read it all, yet you were still working on processing it.

“This… it would explain why he tried to attack Nat. So… he is not in danger then?” Thor probed.

“No, not necessarily but—“

“So we can just wait until it is over.”

You frowned. “Until what is over?”

“His heat! If what you are saying is true and Loki’s behaviour derives from his heritage… if he cannot control his reactions, we have to keep him locked up and wait. We can’t have him ravish all the females in the compound.”

“But… he is in pain.”

An urgent knock on the bathroom door interrupted you.

“Hey, are you having a soap party in there? Other people need to use the bathroom too!” Closing the heavy book shut again, you rolled your eyes.

“There are at least three other bathrooms in this compound, Tony!”

“What are you two doing in here anyway?” He asked as he opened the door and leaned against the threshold when he spotted you two sitting on the edge of the bathtub.

“(Y/N) found out that Loki is… uh… in heat.”

“In heat?!” Tony repeated. “Like a cat?”

“No! It… has something to do with the procreation cycle of Jötuns. It… is in his nature.”

“Fuck…”

“Hey… language.” If you hadn’t recognised his voice, you would know it was Steve who joined your heated discussion. “What’s going on here?”

“Loki is in heat, like a cat.” Steve frowned.

“No, he isn’t! Not like a cat, this is…” Thor stood again before you could finish your sentence.

“It’s for the best, (Y/N). Down there, he’ll be save from getting himself into trouble.”

“Thor, wait! Loki is suffering! Soon, he will…”

“We can’t risk it, (Y/N)! He almost raped Natasha!” Tony barked. “And if you go near him, I’ll lock you up too. I’ve seen what he’s capable of, (Y/N). I will not let him hurt you.”

“He… he wouldn’t do that. He wouldn’t.” You chirped. No. Loki would never deliberately take a woman against her will. If he did… no! Loki had in incredible amount of self-control and composure; and you knew how much he despised his own heritage. He would fight this—for as long as he could.

“Besides…” Tony added. “It wouldn’t be so bad if he got a taste of his own medicine.”

“Stop blaming Loki for your PTSD, Tony. That was Thanos’ doing and you know that.” You growled darkly. The billionaire paused for a moment.

“He is staying where he is,” he concluded then. “Until he’s gone back to normal.”

-

But you did not want to wait. You couldn’t. You had read about the symptoms in detail. In the book it said that moodiness and aggression were only the beginning. If Loki did not act on what his Jötun body demanded from him and… released, then soon, excruciating pain would torment his loins. Masturbation appeared to be out of the picture. You nibbled on your lower lip. This thought of yours invaded his privacy on a truly shameful level, yet you were certain that if sexual arousal had already been plaguing him for a significant amount of time before this outbreak of his, he would have tried to lay hand on himself already and learned it did not provide the necessary relief.

Sooner or later, he would no longer be able to suppress his erection—and it would not disappear until he… sheathed himself inside a female to fill her with his seed. Under different circumstances, the idea of him claiming a woman… you, in such a possessive manner would have aroused you tremendously yourself. As of right now, however, Loki was in agony. The pain, if ignored for too long, would only get worse—it could last up to months and even then the denial of sexual release could result in permanent damage to his loins and even his potency.

But there was no cure either. No potion or spell to contain a male Jötun’s heat which Thor could have forwarded to Asgardian healers.

It was past midnight when you stopped reading and translating—too appalled by how much more Loki would have to suffer if nothing was done about his… condition. The only way to make it stop… was to act on it.

Your lips parted in realisation. You liked him, very much so—and you found Loki incredibly attractive, dreaming of his hands on your body, even. Perhaps you could help him after all. You were not Jötun but… would his body really make a difference? This most primal part of him wished to mate with a female—and although you had never seen a female Jötun, you doubted they looked much different than you did down there.

-

You had to wait another thirty minutes until the lights in Tony’s lab finally went out and you could sneak through the compound and downstairs to the cells—and once you had made sure that Vision was nowhere to be found, you switched off the security camera for Loki’s cell and approached the thick metal door.

It was quiet. He had stopped screaming. There was no banging against the walls either. Yet when you unlocked the door and slipped inside, his appearance, cowering on the floor and leaning against the cool wall with bare feet, startled you to the core. Loki’s raven hair was completely dishevelled, his knuckles bruised and covered in dry blood. His Jötun appearance was downright intimidating and close up, even more fascinating. He was breathing heavily, the thin shirt he had been wearing underneath all of his armour torn in several places, revealing blue skin and in his dark leather trousers… there was a remarkable bulge.

You shivered slightly when his red eyes met yours. Slowly, he tilted his head. “What are you doing here?” He growled hoarsely but weakly.

“I… I want to help you.”

The God of Mischief snorted. “You cannot help me.”

Mutely, you shook your head. “I can. Loki… I… I know what’s happening with you.”

He snorted once more. “So do I.”

“Let me help you.” Taking a deep breath, you moved closer to him. He reacted immediately. Loki jerked, greedily, as if to grab you and pull you on his lap. He could barely stop himself. Yet you were convinced that he would not hurt you in this state… much. A wave of courage rolled over you—you were doing this for him; and you wouldn’t be doing it if you did not like him in this way. Regardless of what he thought of you after, if he could even imagine being with a mortal like that… you longed to stop his pain.

“Leave.” He said quickly when you kneeled down next to him, timidly resting your palms on his thighs. “No… I said… leave… while you still can.” You did not. In fact, you ignored his rather sincere warning. Slowly, to not tickle the sleeping dragon, you reached for the buttons of his leather trousers and began undoing them until he grabbed a hold of your wrists to stop you. He was ice cold.

“Have you… lost your mind?” Loki was cut off by a loud hiss escaping his lips when your fingertips brushed against his erection. He was large—much larger than he would be in his Aesir form, you presumed, and his cock too was blue and covered in dozens of ridges.

“It won’t go away on its own,” you whispered. “You know it won’t. It’s okay.”

Braver this time, you stroked him again, creating more skin on skin contact. Loki was still holding on to you tightly but made no move to stop you. The touch of a female… it must have been bringing some sort of relief already. Coming here had been the right decision.

“Loki…” You murmured. Finally, your hand closed around his incredibly hard cock entirely and you began to jerk him off—gently at first, only to pick up speed when his breathing grew even heavier than it already was. Defeated, he dropped his head against the wall, revealing his blue neck to you. “Please let me help you.” You repeated. “It’s okay. I trust you.” Upon those words, Loki’s eyes widened barely noticeably. Perhaps it was all he had needed to hear to lose his self-control and composure entirely.

Growling like a wild animal, he suddenly started at you, pushing you back firmly so you lost your balance like a beetle on its back, wrapped his ice cold hands around your ankles and pulled you into him. Your back collided with the floor, knocking all air out of your lungs. You gasped for air all the while Loki busied himself with your clothes. Any layer of fabric was too much. He wanted you naked for him. His sheer strength petrified you when he tore at your pyjamas and ripped them to pieces until they were scattered all over the cell. You trembled—but it wasn’t the icy temperature of his blue skin that made your limbs shake so much. It was, so you realised when your widened eyes fell on his massive erection, now fully springing free from his tight trousers, your own arousal growing into dizzying heights. This, whatever it was, excited you—maybe even way more than it should.

Once more, the God of Mischief grabbed your ankles, forcing your legs open. Your heart skipped a beat when he laid his blood-red eyes upon your bare pussy. Your lower lips must have been glistening with your juices in the artificial light of the cell. Loki growled, his long and cold fingers gripping your ankles so tightly you could already feel the bruises forming. Eagerly, he positioned himself between your legs, the tip of his hard and ice cold cock teasing your clit. A moan escaped your lips, urging him on. The fire in his eyes had returned, like your body had set his ablaze.

He spread you even further for him, your nails digging into the metal floor beneath you—and then he claimed you for his own. Inch by antagonising inch, he split you apart, sheathing himself so deep inside of you all air was knocked from your lungs yet again. He was ice cold and he was much larger than the average man; and you were beginning to understand that yes, female Jötuns were anatomically different than humans. Human women were not made for taking such long cocks… so why did every single powerful thrust of his feel so good?

Loki pulled out almost completely, with only the tip remaining inside of you, only to plunge back inside only the fraction of a second later, fucking you furiously. Your tight and wet walls appeared to mould around his manhood, gripping him tightly, asking for more despite the almost unbearable coldness against your most intimate parts. No longer were you in control of your arms. They reached up, palms gliding over his bare chest and enjoying the coldness under your fingertips. Fascinated and aroused at the very same time, you traced every single ridge on Loki’s body while he was fucking you senseless, until your eyes rolled to the back of your head, unable to take the pleasure. His long manhood his spots inside of you which you had never known even existed. He leaned down, at last letting go of your ankles, instead taking a hold of your wrists to pin them both down right above your head and pressing his body so tightly against yours that your clit kept rubbing against his pelvis with every single stroke. You moaned, stricken by ecstasy, and arched your back as you kept moving your hips up to meet his thrusts.

Aroused, you looked down, watching how his blue cock kept sliding in and out of you, spreading your lips as they enveloped him welcomingly.

Loki groaned, his attention steering towards your breasts as they bounced with each of his rough thrusts. Hungrily, he lowered his face, his cold breath ghosting over your mounts, and sucked your right nipple into his mouth—hard. He nibbled, suckled pulled and bit until the already hardened nub was throbbing with pleasure and need and he repeated the same blissful procedure with your left nipple all the while he kept rutting into you uncontrollably.

“Loki…” You wondered if, in his current state, he would be able to speak. As of right now, he indeed reminded you of a wolf who would annihilate anything standing between him and his subject of desire, his prey—you.

Your toes curled, the promising and numbing sensation growing in your lower abdomen having you scream his name over and over again. You could already feel yourself clenching around him, your body urging him on to mark you with his seed and impregnate you and when he finally released himself into you, burying his cock as deep inside of you as was physically possible and coating your walls with his load, he triggered your own release.

You came with a loud moan, feeling him twitch against you as your pussy contracted around him again and again until you collapsed underneath him, spent and tired from his vigorous fucking. Loki, on the other hand, didn’t even think about letting you be. Unceremoniously, he pulled you on his lap so you came to snuggle up against his cold and naked chest, your face hidden in his neck. He supported himself by leaning against the metal wall, his cock still resting deep inside of you.

“How… are you… feeling?” You breathed out, barely able to keep your eyes open. Being taken thoroughly by a Frost Giant had been a lot more exhausting than you had initially assumed.

He was panting, his eyes almost shut. His erection inside you, however, was still very prominent and nowhere near ebbing down.

“Better… soon.” He growled into your ear. Soon? A high-pitched scream escaped your lips when he sank his teeth into your neck and bit down hard enough to make you squirm on his lap. You could still feel his ice cold sperm dribbling out of you and coating his own cock when he grabbed your arse and began moving you up and down his cold rut, forcing you to ride him.

“Oh… fuck…” You choked out. You were tender already, sensitive to the touch. This was too much, too soon. Yet Loki was too caught up in his pleasure and urges to give you a break. He took you several more times that night, eliciting orgasm after orgasm after orgasm from you—until you were on the verge of passing out.

-

You awoke with a hunger unlike one you had never experienced before. Irritated, you crawled out of bed—using the toilet but skipping your morning routine to get to the kitchen to prepare some breakfast. It was only seven. Loki had not… released you until half past six. There was no way your body could have drawn enough rest from this meagre hour of sleep.

Be that as it may—for now, you were hungry. Quietly, you tiptoed into the kitchen, ignoring the sweet ache and tenderness between your legs and resisting the urge to cup yourself through your pyjama bottoms. The white and bright light of the fridge blinded you when you opened it and reached for a package of juice and one of those pre-packed turkey sandwiches Tony kept buying. Unceremoniously, you then closed the fridge with your butt and sat down at the kitchen table to eat. And you kept returning to the fridge until Steve joined you in the kitchen to have a cup of coffee and then go for a run. When had you ever been this hungry before? Was it because of the aggressive sex you had had with Loki? Jesus…

You blushed when Steve asked you how you had slept—and you were rather grateful you had been smart enough to switch off the security cameras before… helping Loki out. He had still been in his Jötun form when you left at long last but he had looked content and… satisfied, in the most carnal manner possible. You would wait until the rest of the Avengers were up to check on him, to not raise any suspicion.

So when Thor staggered into the kitchen with a shit-eating grin on his face, you nearly jumped from your seat.

“Good morning!” He yelled—clearly in a very good mood. He managed to scarf down an entire package of fruit loops before you couldn’t take it anymore and aggressively scratched your fork over your empty plate until the room went awkwardly quiet.

“Didn’t you forget something?” You asked him heatedly. The God of Thunder frowned.

“No! I did flush the toilet this morning, (Y/N).”

Rolling your eyes, you stood.

“Loki. Loki is still one level below you, locked up in a cell, in pain, while you are enjoying your breakfast.” You hoped though, sincerely, that he was no longer in pain.

“(Y/N)… we spoke about this, there is nothing we can do. Down there, he can’t hurt himself or anyone else. I told you I’m going to Asgard soon, I will speak to—”

It was in this moment that your plate broke in half. You had, subconsciously, used your fork to stab it so forcefully it fell apart like a rotten apple. Eyes widening, you mumbled an apology.

“Sorry… I just… no one should be suffering like this. You all heard him last night.”

Bruce gave you a gentle smile. “You’ve always had a big heart for everyone, huh?” You nodded quickly. They did not need to know about your feelings… or the arousing ache between your legs. Your heart was racing. You took a deep breath, hurrying out of the kitchen without cleaning up behind you. Instead, you immediately locked yourself in the bathroom and turned on the tap to splash some cold water on your face. The icy temperature calmed you once it came in contact with your skin, reminding you of him—if only for a moment.

You were shaking. What on Earth was wrong with you? You took a quick shower to wind down, threw on an oversized sweater and then headed downstairs to the prison cells. A glance at the monitor of the security camera made you let out a relieved breath. Loki had indeed gone back to his Aesir form—and he did no longer seem to be in pain. It was, so you wondered, very unusual, however, to not complain and wreak havoc so the Avengers would let him out but then again… would they truly believe him if he told them he had overcome his heat?

With another deep breath, you opened the cell door and slipped inside.

“You were not supposed to see me like this last night. No one was.” He said quietly before you could even open your mouth, not bothering to make eye contact with you.

“Did you know? What was happening to you?”

“Yes.” He snorted, a bitter smile spreading on his thin lips. “I believed I would be able to control it.” Finally, he looked up, his blue eyes locking with yours. “Did I hurt you?” Your lips parted in surprise. Slowly, you shook your head.

“No… I mean… it was quite pleasurable… for me as well… actually.” You choked out sheepishly.

“Hmm… that I could tell,” Loki gave you a light smirk. “Thank you.” He said then—and for the first time since you had met him, you sensed true honesty and sincerity in his smooth voice.

“I’ll leave the door open.” You returned his smile; the planes in your belly flying loops.

“We are… keeping this between us, are we not?” He hastened to ask when you turned around.

“Of course.” After all, no one needed to know you had let Loki mate with you to regain control over his loins.

-

It was five days after your intimate encounter with Loki when your constant shaking became worse enough for him to notice—and if that wasn’t bad enough already, your body had begun to sweat; a lot. Day in and out, you had to change your sheets as if your bed was your personal sauna—or your personal hell.

You felt like you had been hit by a bus, like an extremely nasty form of the flu had you in its steel grip tightly, unwilling to let you go. Sleep, however, to get some rest and recover, would not come either. Two hours per night at most, three if you got lucky. And instead of getting better, it became worse.

He had been restless ever since. It could not be. After all, it had also never… or had it? Growling to himself, he locked the door to his room, enjoying the quietness and most of all, utter privacy.

Not a soul in the nine realms was aware he was still in the possession of the Tesseract. So when he produced it out of thin air—his large hand momentarily surrounded by a green mist—he made sure to hurry and quickly teleported himself back to Asgard. Heimdall would never open the Bifrost for him if he wasn’t accompanied by Thor.

He was worried about you and his surprise about these particular circumstances was remarkably low. When he closed his eyes, he could still taste your hard nipples on his tongue from when he had suckled on them. He remembered how warm your body felt against his when he had cradled you in his lap and the thought of your tight cunt around his throbbing cock stirred arousal in his leather trousers if only he indulged in reminiscences for too long. Most of all, however, he was unable to forget the sincere smile on your face when you had freed him from the cell the next day… and the mesmerised gaze you had met him with when he had ravished your sweet quim over and over again.

With another deep breath, he disappeared in an ice cold cloud of smoke.

-

Sneaking past the guards and into the palace library—the one place he had spent hours on end in growing up here, hiding away from Thor, his friends and the world, reading and hoarding knowledge—was pathetically easy. He knew exactly what to look for, what lecture would confirm his worrying suspicions. Once he found what he had been searching, he sat down on the windowsill—another usual spot he found comfort in—and began his research. He had known about the impact of a male Jötun’s seed on his female counterpart, of course; for even though he despised his own race, he, as opposed to Thor, had paid attention during their private tutoring lessons as children. The heavy book in his hands, however, made him, the God of Mischief and Trickery, hold his breath. What Loki had not known was that the repercussion of a male Jötun’s seed did not just occur in Jötun females. It applied to any species—including humans. However, the chances of survival for weaker lifeforms were alarmingly low.

Abandoning the book, he hurried out of the library and into the city. There was someone he needed to speak to.

-

“With all due respect, my prince but you are not welcome here.” Loki rolled his eyes. He knew it would not be fun, exactly, to seek out his ex-partners and ask about their well-being long after he had left them. The man opening him when he knocked on Sigyn’s door, a woman he had been engaged with for several years in his youth, was about as tall as Thor—his right hand decorated with a golden ring. Husband. Just great. And, judging by his obvious dismay of finding him on his doorstep, she must have told him about their shared past.

“I need to speak to your wife. Urgently. That is an order.” Sigyn’s husband growled, clenching his fists but stepped aside regardless. Loki made sure not to pay any attention to the furniture and his surroundings. Toys were scattered all across the living room, hinting that Sigyn had become both wife and mother in his absence. Her face fell when she spotted Loki standing in the middle of the small room—truly like he would even have preferred Helheim over being here of all places—as pale as a ghost.

“Loki… I mean… your highness. What… brings you here?”

“I need to ask you a few questions.”

“Um… by all means. Sit down. Would you like some ale?”

“No.” Sigyn pointed at the rectangular kitchen table and then sat down opposite of him. Her hands were folded on the surface of the polished wood.

“It is good to see you.”

“Likewise… Now this will sound odd,” he began unceremoniously, ignoring her husband towering above him with his arms crossed. “But I have to know how you fared after we separated. Not… emotionally. Physically.” He emphasised.

“Physically? That is indeed odd. Oh, I… um… let me see, it’s been such a long time. I had quite an appetite after you left,” she laughed, clearly uncomfortable with his presence. Loki sighed.

“An appetite. What more than that?”

“Nothing out of the ordinary. Except… yes, of course! I fell ill a few days after. The healers never found out what my body was rebelling against. It lasted for a few months. Tiredness, insomnia, attacks of sweat and I could not stop shaking. Why do you ask? Did you… did you experience it too?”

“No,” he replied quickly, a nauseous feeling spreading in his guts. You were showing the exact same symptoms. Symptoms of addiction. “You said it lasted for a few months?”

“I am sorry, your highness but is there a point to this interrogation? My wife has to feed the baby.”

“We’re almost done.” He barked, glaring at Sigyn’s husband from the corner of his eye.

“It did,” Sigyn confirmed. “But then it never returned.”

“Thank you. That will be all.” Loki took a deep breath and stood, resisting the urge to massage the bridge of his nose to clear his thoughts. It was only when he turned on his heel to leave this way too harmonic place that he noticed Sigyn’s husband had left the door open for him. He rolled his eyes.

“Loki! I-I mean, your highness…”

“Loki is fine, Sigyn. We have seen each other naked, after all.” Beside him, he could practically hear her husband gnashing his teeth. He smirked.

“I understand you do not wish to share with me what troubles you but whatever it is, I hope everything will turn out to be alright.”

Loki gave her a smile. It was as honest as he could muster in this tense situation. Sigyn had always known when he was being plagued by dark sorrows, even before he learned about his true parentage. Much like you. You too had been able to tell he had been unwell, both physically and mentally. He swallowed thickly.

“Thank you, Sigyn.”

He had to see Amora, too. They had not exactly gone separate ways peacefully but if she had experienced the same symptoms as Sigyn after their break-up, he had to get back to you immediately. And he had to tell you. The truth, a luxury given his nature, was the very least you deserved.

-

“Where have you been?” Thor roared as soon as he entered the kitchen to pick up one of those cold drinking chocolates you had introduced him to a while back—the ridiculous amount of sugar would help you, if only for a moment. The presence of Tony, Nat, Bucky, Steve and Thor, leaning against the counter or sitting at the kitchen table, he ignored as best as he could. He would have preferred to be alone now.

Loki quirked his eyebrow, clearly unimpressed. “Asgard, given that you were unwilling to get help yourself.”

“How? Heimdall wouldn’t…”

“There is a lot Heimdall does not know, brother.” Thor grumbled something he did not understand but it sounded awfully like a curse word in Old Norse.

“Whatever. Have you seen (Y/N)? Her room is down the same hallways as yours, has she left her room lately?” Tony barked at him.

“As far as I am concerned, she has Vision bring her excessive amounts of food, for she is too weak to come to the kitchen herself. No. I have not seen her around.” He replied nonchalantly, with false disinterest. This time, so it seemed, however, his choice of tone, equalled shooting himself in the foot.

“We need to get her to the hospital. None of the medicines I gave her worked even a little bit—and I contacted the best doctors I know.” Loki suppressed a scoff. As if a hospital full of human ‘doctors’ would be able to help you. The only one who could… was he.

“For Fuck’s sake, she has been feeling ill ever since…” Tony’s face fell. “Ever since we locked up your brother.” Belligerently, his gaze wandered over to Loki again. “Okay, Reindeer Games, what did you do to her and don’t even try to lie to me!”

“You do assume, automatically, that I have something to do with it?” He mocked. Tony clenched his fists.

“Loki,” Thor added calmly. “Do you… know something?” The God of Mischief sighed. If he told them, what little trust they had in his capabilities as an Avenger would vaporise like smoke. It mattered not. In fact, he could not care less if any of those self-proclaimed heroes even liked him. Yet if he spoke the truth… surely they would do anything in their power to keep you away from him—which was exactly what they could not do if they wanted you to survive and feel better again as much as he did. He could just take care of the problem on his own… sooner or later, however, they were bound to find out about their intimate encounters, and he was beyond keeping secrets like that. If he wanted to make love to you, then he would, may the Norns help him.

“It is… my seed.” He choked out reluctantly.

“Your… what!? Your… yeah, no, I can’t say that out loud without throwing up… is making her sick!?”

“The seed of a male Jötun is causing… an addiction. Withdrawal will make her weak and ill.” Loki looked up grimly. “Frost Giants live in strictly monogamous relationships.”

“What, like penguins? How did she even come in contact with… did you… did you rape her? I swear to God, I will kill you.”

“I did not lay a finger on her.” Loki replied darkly.

Tony threw his hands up in the air. “So how did your happy juice get inside of her in the first place then!? How did that happen, I wonder?”

“She came to me voluntarily, Stark!”

“But you knew? If you knew it would make her sick, why didn’t you stop her, you selfish asshole!?”

“How!? How, Stark!? Resisting the urge to mate in heat is like attempting to suppress a sneeze. It’s impossible. Don’t bother your pathetic human mind with things you do not understand.”

“Loki…” Thor began warningly. The God of Mischief ignored him with a hostile growl.

“(Y/N) would never do that.” Tony said then.

“Perhaps you do not know her as well as you thought you do.”

“You little shit, I will…” Tony jumped from his chair as if stung by an adder, prompting Loki to draw one of his daggers seemingly out of nowhere when he started at him. Both Natasha and Steve barely managed to hold him back.

“Leave it, Tony. This is Loki. He is just trying to provoke you.” Nat appeased.

Just this one time, however, they were wrong. Loki did, in fact, care about you. It was just he had not realised that until you had willingly offered your body to him when he had been in pain. Glaring at them darkly, he rose from his chair.

“I am going to fix this.” He spat. It almost sounded like a threat. “Not for you. I could watch you drop dead to my feet without so much as blinking. But for her.” Fuming, he stormed out, his right fist still clutching at his dagger in a desperate attempt to calm himself down. And as of right now, Thor knew better than to stop him.

He needed to see you. Remorse and guilt were eating him up from the inside out—and it wasn’t just the fact you had helped him in spite of everything he had done to Midgard only a few years back. It was… you were… Loki closed his eyes for a brief moment. You were his.

When he knocked on your door, there was no response. Now there was a chance you were asleep, yet he somehow knew better than to leave and try again later as to not startle you. After all… he was going to make you feel better.

He slipped inside, locking the door behind him with magic so you would not be disturbed. The sight of you almost broke his heart. You were trembling, buried under a pile of blankets, pale and weak.

“(Y/N)…” He spoke with a quiet voice, approaching you slowly. Your eyes opened when you heard his voice, your weak body barely managing to turn over to look at him. A cough escaped your lips before you could answer him.

“Hey…”

“How are you feeling?”

“Terrible.” You tried for a laugh but could only manage another cough. With a straight face, he sat down on the edge of the bed so he was able to bring his palm to your forehead. You were incredibly warm, yet the sweat made your skin cold to the touch. His heart skipped a beat. Suddenly, he was worried you only had a few weeks left until your body gave up fighting the withdrawal. He would not, ever let this happen.

“I brought you some cold drinking chocolate.”

“Oh…” You chuckled weakly. “Thank you. Is that the only reason you came?”

“No,” he laughed. “I came to check on you.”

“An eye for an eye, huh?” Your eyes fell shut when you smiled.

“Hmm… I’m afraid it is a little more complicated than that.” He purred. You never noticed how his eyes fell on your crotch, even if it was covered by a bunch of blankets. Slowly but determined, he slid his left hand under the layers of fabric until he found what he was searching for. With skilled fingers, he began to massage your clit until he felt you responding to his attentive touches. You arched your back, your sex growing wetter and wetter fast—like your body knew exactly what would follow. Licking his lips, he scooped some of it up to spread all over your quim and create even more friction. You were squirming by the time he removed the blankets entirely and positioned himself between your legs, careful not to shift all of his body weight onto you.

Was he going to… did he… could he possibly… reciprocate your feelings? Your heart skipped a beat, butterflies awakening in your belly. If only you could…

“Loki… Loki, I… I really want to do this again too but… not now, I’m… I really don’t feel well.”

“Shhh…” He would ponder over your words later. You wanted to do this again too? Had it not just be compassion and pity that had driven you to offer him your most intimate parts for relief? And what if you refused him now? You had to trust him. So he shut you up by pressing his lips against yours, capturing them in a passionate kiss and then, once again slowly but determined, removed the blankets and peeled your pyjama from you until he had you naked—fine, he had helped with magic; and he was certainly too impatient to remove his own clothes, so instead contented himself with freeing his growing erection from his trousers only.

A whimper escaped your lips when you caught sight of his arousal, his tip—not blue but the colour of flesh this time—pressing against your entrance. He slid inside you to the hilt with almost no resistance, your warm pussy welcoming him in. Loki moaned when your walls gripped him tightly; it was like your body already knew his release would make it feel better. Only this time, he was in control. This time, he would take his time and make gentle love to you—right until you began to tremble underneath him for entirely different reasons.

Your eyes fell shut when Loki started moving, retreating almost completely only to plunge back deep inside of you fast and passionately. You were too weak to buck your hips, as much as you would have loved to. And despite your weariness, he felt incredible. You were unable to decide which form of his you liked better.

You kissed him again when his nose brushed against yours and his breath tickled your lips, bathing in the intimacy between you. But when he slid his hand down to where your bodies were united to pamper your clit all the while speeding up, hungry for his release, you stopped him, albeit gently.

“I… I don’t think I can, I’m too… but I… it’s okay.” You murmured. “Cum.”

It was a request he could not resist, not any longer. Thrusting forward a few more times, his release was beginning to overwhelm him. He groaned into your ear, his hot breath brushing against your cheek, and let his climax consume him. He was throbbing against your walls, his seed—surprisingly warm and not as cold as it had been the first time—filling you to the brim and until you could feel it dribbling out of you again. Loki stilled, turning you over so you both rested on the mattress on your sides, with his slowly softening cock still inside of you and one of your legs draped over his hips. One heartbeat passed, then another and another. And just like that… you felt like you had been reborn.

“How… I feel so much better.” Loki kept silent. Remorse was sparkling in his blue eyes. Avoiding your curious gaze, he looked down, with a start fascinated with the blue roses on your bed sheets.

“Loki?”

“You did fail to read all of it, did you not?” He stated quietly.

“What… what do you mean?”

“The book you took from my shelf. I looked it up when you got worse. It wasn’t until I left for Asgard that I realised why our… sexual encounter is making you ill.”

“I… wait… Does that mean you believe it has something to do with you? I mean… what we did? Is it… I’m not pregnant, am I!?”

“No. You are not.” He smirked at you weakly. “That, I would have sensed already. No… I’m afraid it is a little more complicated. Frost Giants live in strictly monogamous relationships. They never… switch their partners once they mated during their first heat. If they do…” Loki took a deep breath. “It appears that the seed of a Frost Giant triggers some sort of… addiction for their female partner. They develop a carnal craving for their seed which forces them to keep returning for… more.”

Biologically speaking, this was a downright bulletproof way of ensuring the survival of a species—the Jötuns’ own bodies turning against them and demanding sex. The gravity of his words, however, hit you only a moment later. So this was why you had been feeling so sick lately. You were showing signs of… addiction. Your body had become addicted to Loki’s seed. You swallowed thickly.

“I-is there… is there a way to stop this?”

“I went to speak to my former partners back on Asgard—which, to be frank, does not just sound like a disaster. But I needed to know if they experienced any symptoms similar to yours when we… separated.” You ignored the painful sting in your heart when he said ‘former partners’. Of course Loki had had sex before, had perhaps even been in love. He did not strike you as the type of Norse God who was unexperienced in the art of love making. After all, he had more than just proved this to you. It mattered not, not now.

“And… did they?” You probed nervously.

Loki nodded seriously. “They were both bedridden for months, plagued by uncontrollable trembling and sweating. Their appetite increased, they ate twice as much than they usually would without ever feeling truly full… and they barely slept anymore, tossing and turning for most of the night. Amora added she became increasingly violent as well. They, of course, believed it was a virus which would pass, eventually.” Terrified, you remembered how you had broken your plate in the kitchen the night after your lovemaking. It all made sense now.

But you did not dare ask what this meant. When dreaming of having a relationship with Loki, you had not imaged a partnership out of physical and sexual necessity which would feel like a chore to him; like an obligation now that you had helped him out, after all.

“But they were Asgardian.” He suddenly said, pausing to let his words sink in. “You are human. You are mortal. I am uncertain you would survive…” If I stopped having sex with you. Is that what he had meant to say before he stopped himself abruptly?

Taking a deep and shaky breath, you gathered all of your courage, as weak as it may be.

“This is all my own fault, Loki.”

“It is not—“

“N-no, let me speak. It’s my fault. You couldn’t help it. And I came to you on my own accord. But…” You swallowed. “Even if I had known, I still would have helped you.”

The God of Mischief frowned when you reached for his hand and held it—but it was a downright vulnerable expression.

“Loki… I’m not going to expect you to keep having sex with me if you don’t… I mean…” It was then he began to smirk cheekily.

“And if I do?” Loki had truthfully speaking always been a puzzle—always keeping his deepest thoughts and feelings all to himself. Until now. So he did reciprocate your feelings.

“Y-you do?” His smirk widened.

“It… does get better after a while, once the pair is more acquainted to each other’s bodies,” he continued. “And they are then able to spend more time apart without any signs of withdrawal showing. Ultimately, however, once the male Jötun claimed her, the female is bound to him… if he decides to keep her.”

Despite your weakness, you raised an eyebrow. “That sounds pretty sexist, Lokes.” Loki looked up. His heart jumped when you gave him a nickname.

“Sexist? No. Dominant? Yes.” He growled darkly.

“You’re right. It’s probably not sexist given that male Frost Giants go into heat.” You giggled in response. Loki tickled your sides for that remark, making you wriggle around on the bed. If your hunch was not deceiving your love-drunken mind, then the God of Mischief had just begun to court you.

“Loki?” You mused, raising your voice in a shy manner.

“Hmm?”

“I think I feel fit enough now to have an orgasm.”

The God of Mischief laughed—as heartily as you had never heard him laugh before. “Do you now?”

Next thing you knew he was already on top of you again, covering your naked body with tender kisses.

-

A/N: Check out my blog to find more Imagines and take a glimpse at my first (to be) published novel! If you enjoyed this story, I would appreciate it so much if you supported me on Kofi! ko-fi.com/sserpente ♥  

[huenjin]

don't wanna be friends.

pairing: hyunjin x reader | bff2l!au, pornstar!au

word count: 3.705 words

tw: pornstar!hyunjin, nsfw content — dick piercing!hyunjin, multiple orgasms, breast play, breath play, fingering, cunnilingus, marking, penetration, unprotected sex, dumbification, slight overstimulation, creampie, mentions of reader masturbating to hyunjin's porn and the porn explained in detail.

music rec: damage is done | devin hoffman.

note: this was an nsfw ask originally but it got way past the limit, so tada, made it into a oneshot. if anyone was wondering why it's in this format/theme. unedited, like every other work of mine.

you gulp down the next shot under hyunjin's watchful supervision. you've lost count of the shots you have taken and hyunjin has lost count of how many times he has told you to stop, that you are drinking too much.

"he told me that i can't fuck right. that i should at least pretend to fake it to satiate him," you scoff, another tear rolling down from the brim of your eyes and hyunjin wraps his arms around you, pulling into him to comfort you. "i can't— jinnie, i just don't come when he fucks me. i— maybe something is wrong with me. maybe i just can't orgasm when someone—"

"hush," hyunjin slowly taps your back to keep your thoughts shut. "there's nothing wrong with you, minion. you're fine." he pushes your big round spectacles up, calling you by the name he's always teased you with.

you slam the shot glass down, eyes groggy and head woozy from all the drinks you've gulped down. you lean forward, eyes wide open, glasses sliding down as you look closely at your best friend.

hwang hyunjin is attractive. you've always known your best friend is attractive. his bright eyes that light up at the sight of his dog, kkami, running to him right after you cuddled kkami forever. or the way his face morphs into one of disgust when you threaten to put eggplants into his plate. or the way he'd cuddle you when the weather gets too cold. hyunjin is attractive, both in looks and behaviour.

beyond this, your best friend, hwang hyunjin, is insatiable in the eyes of many women and men, including yours. a pornstar by profession, he knows the ways around women, having them come undone in his hold in minutes — you refuse to believe it's orchestrated. you know how he is in bed or at least what the biz wants him to exhibit and that alone has you trembling.

and to make matters worse in your end, you've orgasmed only once your whole life and that was during the time when you played with yourself while stumbling upon his porn (you were randomly searching for one and the temptation to watch your best friend just exceeded everything).

you knew his profession for so long — hyunjin told it to you over a glass of wine that you spat onto his white shirt the minute he told you about it. the conversation was never spoken about after that.

until today.

"what are you doing, minion? damn," he chuckles, "you really look like a minion with those glasses."

you still once you close in on hyunjin. hands on his chest, eyes fixated on his, you lick your lips and hyunjin's eyes widen, eyes unknowingly trailing downwards till he has to tear his gaze away, reminding himself that it's you, that it's his best friend.

"do you want to fuck me?" liquid courage, indeed.

"you must be kidding me?"

"why? you do this regularly."

hyunjin shoves you away, pushing you back against the couch. his eyes narrows on your figure and you fold your arms. he huffs, eyes glaring at you before looking away. he stretches his arm to take a glass and pour himself a drink, gulping it down and feeling the much needed burn in his throat.

"why?" you whine. "jinnie, that's your job. fuck me. you don't mind it. i'll just be one of those girls."

"i do mind it," he raises his voice. "you're not just one of those girls. fuck, y/n, you're the only constant in my life. why would i fuck that up?"

you bite your lower lip, eyes watering at the rejection suddenly. your drunkenness is what stirs the emotional side in you and your heart is heavy. you just want to be able to fuck like everyone else, just want to feel the bliss your friends talk about, the euphoria they reach.

"wait, are you going to cry?"

"no," you bite your tongue from letting out the sob. "i won't cry. you're not the first guy to reject me. this is normal. no one wants to—"

"y/n."

"—fuck me. who would want to fuck the girl that can't orgasm, let alone fake one?" you let out a fake laugh, tears finally rolling down your eyes.

"oh goodness," hyunjin sighs. he pulls you into him for a hug, rubbing your back soothingly. "you're my best friend, y/n. i shouldn't—"

"i want you to," you look up at him. hyunjin heaves in a huge breath. it catches in his throat as he looks down at you. god, he loves you. he has loved you for years now but who would want to be in a relationship with a guy who fucks girls for a living? not anyone sane. you deserve better. fuck, you deserved so much better than him.

yet, his heart won't stay still. his mind won't stop racing with thoughts he shouldn't normally have about his best friend. heavens, you have hyunjin wrapped around your finger and you don't even know it.

"y/n, don't—"

hyunjin loses his last bit of control over your proposition the minute you place your lips over his. it's exactly as he has envisioned. soft, delicate and everything that kept him away from breaking. you capture his bottom lip, kissing him softly, hands trailing under his sweater. hyunjin feels the goosebumps rising up, your warmth seeping into his. it takes everything in hyunjin to keep his hands away.

you pull away, catching your lower lip with your teeth before letting go and looking away, "you won't even kiss me back. am i that worse? do i kiss bad? jinnie, i just want to be—"

hyunjin has his hands on your face, turning it for you to look at him before he has his lips crashing down on yours, taking your breath away. you heave, breath hitching and you gasp.

hyunjin is aphrodite. the very reincarnation of sin. he creeps into you just as you expected, crawling into your mind and captivating every single sense of yours. your hands are in his hair, tugging at the roots and moving against his body. his hand sprawls over your neck and his thumb presses into the neck, rubbing slow circles. he kisses the top of your lips, your hands tugging at his sweater and you are moaning into his mouth.

you pull away for a second, fingers digging into his clothes, tugging at it to be thrown away and hyunjin obliges. helping you out of yours too, the two of you face each other stark naked. you take him in for the divinity he is in your head, eyes trailing down to his slightly erect dick and you gasp.

it's true. the videos don't lie. he is bigger than you had seen, girth firmer than you had envisioned and the frenum piercing has you salivating. it shines under the lighting, your eyes unable to drift away from it, lips parted slightly and heavens, hyunjin can't take his eyes away from you either. was this what he was missing out all this while in the name of friendship?

his lips are back on yours, your breasts firm against his chest as his cock rubs against your inner thigh. it's messy, heavy and has you panting for breath, chasing after his tongue, wrapped around yours like they never want to let go.

quicksand. this is quicksand. you're falling in too quick; falling into everything hyunjin has to offer way too quickly. and you love it. your mind is rid of thoughts. just hyunjin, hyunjin, hwang hyunjin. he pushes back, still kissing you heavily, till your back hits the soft covers of the couch and he's hovering over you.

hyunjin's tongue licks your lower lip, causing you to moan and he's groaning at the sensation, pulling apart for air few minutes later. he cups your face, thumb brushing the side and you lean into his palm.

"i— we should—"

"no, please don't stop," you beg. "not now. please. we're in too deep to stop."

"but y/n—"

"please fuck me, jinnie. fuck me like you fucked soojin."

hyunjin's eyes widens and he pulls away from you. looking at you as if he's staring into your soul, he gulps. "how did you—" his cheeks redden. "wait—" you bite your lower lip. hyunjin pulls the rubber band that holds his hair up, causing the silver strands to fall forward. he runs his finger through it, pushing it back as he holds it tightly to focus. "you watched my porn."

you gulp, lips drying up and you nod, running your mouth quickly to justify yourself. "i did. it was supposed to be a one time thing but—" you look away. "—i touched myself to that. i fingered myself to you fucking soojin and it's the only time i came."

if hyunjin has been just losing it all this while, now, he has lost it completely. his eyes darken, a light growl leaving his lips as he holds your legs and pulls you closer into his kneeling self. you groan slightly in his grip.

"you want me to fuck you like i fucked soojin?"

"yes—"

"want me to fuck you like some doll, huh?" he bends forward, kissing your neck, sucking at the skin till they stain purple to his pleasure. hyunjin marks you all the way to your breasts, covering your skin with both dark and light marks as you repeatedly confirm, "yes, yes, yes."

hyunjin pulls away, staring at you almost tauntingly, licking his lips and running his hand through his hair. he drops the words like they are heavy. "tell me then. tell me what i did and i'll do the same to you, just like you wished."

"you fuck—"

"no," he shakes his head. "in detail. from the very first scene. you'll get only what you ask for. nothing more. nothing less. so, go on, doll. tell me."

the power you hold is insane. you do not know how to use it, however. having never been given this much power, you look at your best friend for a while before slowly telling him. the words seem foreign to you but if this is how it is going to be, and if this helps you come, you're doing it.

"y-you kissed her first." your voice is barely audible. like you're telling hyunjin a secret. hyunjin catches your lips yet again, tongue presses against your lower lip before he slips it in, tangling it with yours as he kisses you. you moan, eyes closing as your hand wrap around his axle, hands pressed on his back. your fingers plays with the few strands of his silver dyed hair at the nape. he pulls back, waiting for you to continue.

with a little more confidence and the huge amount of liquid courage in you, you demand, "you marked her up like you just did to me. i hate that you marked her up. i hated it so much but turned me on."

hyunjin sucks a hickey right above your breast, speaking into your skin, "you hated it, doll?"

"yes. wanted it to be me." hyunjin's teeth grazes your skin and you moan, "fuck." your fingers pull his hair lightly and hyunjin grunts, teeth biting into your skin, making a dark mark that has you arch your back and your thigh to rub against his cock.

"what else did you see me do, doll?" his mouth trails further down to your breast and you gasp.

"you sucked on her breasts. played with it harshly." hyunjin abides by it, sucking on your breasts, tongue lapping around your nipples and drawing out circles by it. "yes, yes— fuck, jinnie, oh my—" hyunjin finds it seductive as fuck that you never complete your sentences as you moan. and he wants you like that — barely being able to say words besides his name. that's all he needed to hear.

"you played with soojin's other breast at the same time like—" his hand is already on your right breast. it pinched the nipple, twisting it between his thumb and forefinger. the pain shoots up and it clouds your senses, causing you to grind on his cock. your arousal leaks through you, and you feel yourself grow wetter with every single flick of hyunjin's tongue.

his right hand is still on your breast, his lips trail downward. your breath hitches in your throat and you let out a shortened sigh as he breathes lowly against your skin, kissing it before landing right in front of your core, wet with want for the man before you.

"so fucking wet and what for, doll?"

"your cock, oh my god. jinnie, want your cock in me. please." you beg, writhing in his hold as he grabs your breast, fondling it in his hold.

"that's not what i did in that video. go on, continue." it's stern with command and has you spitting out the next in sequence instantly.

"you—" hyunjin is playing with your nipples as he waits for you to speak. his finger twist and turn your nipples and you're squeezing your thighs together in this intense pleasure. "fuck, can't think, jinnie. i don't know. i—"

"no, no," he hushes. kissing your pubic mound and licking small stripes, he mumbles, "you have to remember the only porno that had you come, right?"

"you—" you feel his warm breath all over your core and a gush of arousal oozes out. "you had your mouth on her pussy. you ate her out till she came, oh my god. you ate her out—"

"well done, doll." and his lips are on your wet ones. he licks at the lips, pushing it apart as he takes in your arousal, lapping in to take it all. it's merciless. and if you thought his porn was intense, you forgot all about how hyunjin himself was a walking pornography. the way his tongue licks your lips, tip teasing your entrance as he rubs your clit, slowly. he draws small circles over it, tapping at the engorged button till your toes curl in, knees lift up to bend for your feet to press down. your eyes are squeezed shut and your fingers pull at his hair every time you feel the knot tightening.

the room is filled with lewd noises and your moans, resonating through the whole area for you to hear it out in the silence. it's pornographic. the voices you make resemble those that you heard. hyunjin licks another stripe up your sodden lips before wrapping the plump pair around your clit and sucking on it, loud noise of suckle resonating and causing you to move your hips slightly.

his teeth grazes over your clit, nibbling slightly till you feel the knot clench in your stomach. it's a vortex forming deep within and from the one time experience you have, you know. it's coming. you're so close. hyunjin rubs your clit furiously, mouth moving back your lip as he eats you out. he pulls apart right when he knows you're soon to come and in a second, two of his fingers are deep within you, rubbing against your inner walls and you're crying out his name just like he wanted.

it's hyunjin, hyunjin, hyunjin. that's all he can hear — his name dripping in saccharine from your mouth, topped with all those insatiable moans that leave your lips and hyunjin quickens his pace. the two fingers thrust in and out of you, finding the spot and rubbing at the walls to elicit a particular reaction — hyunjin is searching. searching for that one spot that will have you ruined for him.

"fuck, oh fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, what—"

the minute he touches a particularly soft area, he has you grinding down on him, chanting his name like a mantra and he knows — hyunjin's found your spot. he rubs it as he curves his fingers, having you arch further into him. he sucks on your clit, fingers thrusting in you relentlessly.

and you come undone so easily that it's a surprise how your ex couldn't do this for you. you see the white under your eyelids as you come undone. hyunjin helps you ride it out. he removes his fingers and licks you clean, taking in every single drop of your orgasm.

"told you that you were perfect," he says, looking at you and smiling. he kisses your mound as he lifts your hips up. "you're the most perfect human being ever. so how in the world could anything be wrong with you?" he wipes away the tears rolling down your eyes, as an effect from the intensity of the orgasm you went through. "so, doll, now tell me what else did i do?"

your mind is blank. you can't think of anything. your mind is filled with just the man before you in all his naked glory and how you just want him. "want you, jinnie. please. i want your dick. please want that."

"that's not the answer to my question," he huffs. "did i not lift her legs up like this?" he lifts your legs and places it over his shoulders. his erect cock is angled right and he rubs the head all over your wetness. you hitch and whine, stuttering how much you want him. "did i fuck my doll dumb? did i fuck out all your brains, baby? oh no. should i fuck you more? can you answer that, doll?"

you nod, lips parting. "want jinnie's dick. want it. want it in me."

"as you wish, doll," and he inserts it into you, pushing your walls apart with his fingers till he thrusts completely into you. his piercing underneath his shaft drags against your walls, the cold metal adding the extra sensation that tingles your nerves. his large hands hold your hips up, your ankles hitting his back bone everytime he thrusts into you. he uses his one hand to hold your wrists together above you as he hits your spot over and over again. the friction of his big cock and the frenum piercing is all too much right after one orgasm. the stimulation is over bearing and you know why the girl in the video has her eyes roll up, tongue out and lips swollen.

hyunjin plunges into you and you gush all over his cock, coating almost all of his length with your arousal. hyunjin is barely in but he is already hitting your spot, hot tip brushing against it vicariously and the frenum piercing cold against it. the friction is enough to have the knot tighten so fast and hard that you know this is going to overpower you. hyunjin lets go of you wrists but you hold them above you obediently. his hand trails to hold your breast, squeezing it and fondling with it; the other holding your legs up securely.

with every thrust, his piercing drags against your walls and his balls slap against your cheeks. tears spill down your face as you scream loudly, "jin-ah, fuck. jinnie, jinnie, jinnie. it's too much, oh my god. i can feel it. oh—"

"you're taking it like a good, good doll for me. you can take more. i know you can." he takes his cock out. he wraps his fingers around it and dragging it across your slit and your core, the frenum piercing rubbing against it and you're ready to snap again.

and without any warning, he enters into you again, this time harshly and with a quicker pace. it is fast and hard and has you gripping onto him for the life of yours, your hands moving to hold his biceps, fingers digging into it. hyunjin fucks you like he wants to take you to heaven and back. like he wants to show you everything you are missing out and that there's nothing wrong with you. it's the men. always the men.

"going to fuck you and show you how you should be fucked. how you should be getting it. going to fuck you dumb, doll and have you be mine."

he doesn't stop. hyunjin is grunting and huffing as he thrusts repeatedly in you, his pubic bone hitting your clit and causing short sorts of heightened sensations.

"jinnie! i'm coming. i'm coming. oh fuck, i'm—"

second one in a span of few hours. if you could think properly, you would be surprised at how you came twice. it's surprising that you've come thrice so far in your whole life and all three times were to be credited to hwang hyunjin, your best friend.

you come around his cock, the white flash spreading under your eyelids and you are weeping. you feel the rushing oxytocin clouding your brain as you clench tightly on his cock. hyunjin doesn't stop however, as he chases after his own high, thrusting even faster if it were possible and overstimulating you. in a few minutes, hyunjin is coming in you. hot white spurts of his cum coating your insides as he thrusts his orgasm out, only to pull it out eventually and have his white come and yours poze out and stain the couch.

your eyes are shut and you are panting heavily, chests rising and hyunjin brushes your hair away from your face, wiping the sweat that has accumulated by your forehead. he places your legs down and mumbles, "you okay, minion?"

"hm," you respond. that's all you can say. you were too fucked out to think or do anything. hyunjin chuckles and slowly getting off the couch, he carefully lifts you up into his arms. you snuggle into his chest, wrapping your arms around him. "where are we going?"

hyunjin barely hears you question with how soft it was. you repeat and it is the second time that he hears it perfectly.

"going to clean you up and rest you in bed. you need to sleep well now." you nod, snuggling further into his chest as he carries you into his bedroom.

hyunjin's wrong, though. when he wondered how in the world anything could be wrong with you, he clearly knew there is something wrong with you.

you are too dense to ever realise how deep his feelings are for you.

[comfortbucky]

requests? did someone say requests??😌

fluffy headcanon, mafia boss!bucky comes home after being away for a week or so and it’s just a cute ass reunion between the reader & him with lots of kisses & hugs n shit

or(take your pick) :)

one shot, where john walker is really rude to reader(insults her & shit), but she stands up for herself. they(her & john) get into a fight & bucky finds out by surprisingly swinging by her apartment. of course bucky is pissed, but he tends to her wounds. then for some stupid reason, john shows up at readers apartment & bucky loses it. but it ends in bucky admitting his feelings to reader n some fluff 😩

hope you find motivation for at least one of these:😚

hi yes hehe i did say requests🙈

i’m a sucker for tfatws!bucky so- (and john walker is a rat bastard🤣 so lemme go off)

𝗶 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂 ⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆ ｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚ ⋆

pairing: tfatws!bucky x fem!avenger!reader

warnings: john walker (grr), violence! and descriptions of bloody injuries

A/N: also! i sort of changed the prompt i hope u don’t mind too much🥺 // this oneshot will not be taking place during the canon timeline btw but inspired by the events/themes of tfatws

word count: 1.5 k

my masterlist!

completed requests!

Y/N sighed, as she plopped onto the couch after a long day. She, Bucky, and Sam had spent the whole day researching the Flagsmashers to try and track them down. It took all day, partially because Bucky needed a little extra help with learning how to use his laptop. She chuckled at the memory, grabbing the remote to turn her TV on. Suddenly, a loud, aggressive, knock interrupted her thoughts. She sighed and leaned her head on the back of her couch, taking a moment to debate leaving her very comfortable spot, before getting up to answer the door. Y/N knew that she probably should have peeked through her peephole before answering, but she wanted to return to the comfort of her couch as soon as possible. She opened it to see none other than John Walker, greeting her with a smirk. Y/N rolled her eyes.

“What are you doing here, John? How the hell did you even get my address?”

“All government property has GPS tracking in it," he said, pointing to her laptop on the kitchen table behind her. She turned and frowned as he continued. "Look, you need us, me and Battlestar, to take down Karli.” She looked back at John, laughing at Lemar’s alias.

“No way I’m letting someone who goes by Battlestar help me out.” He glared at her comment. “Or you, a Captain America wannabe.”

John took an aggressive step closer, way too close for Y/N’s comfort, as he replied. “I am Captain America, whether you like it or not.”

"You'll never be Captain America," she snapped back. "You don't have what it takes." He glared at her and put his face right in front of hers.

"How would you know? You're a pathetic excuse for a soldier," he spat and Y/N grimaced at John's spit landing on her cheeks. He looked at her, his eyes examining her body. She hated every second of it, his stare making her feel grimy all over, like she immediately needed a shower. “Who’d you fuck to get into the Avengers anyways? Bet it was Steve.”

John’s comment was immediately followed by Y/N’s fist connecting with his cheek, forcing him to stagger back into the hall. She’d heard concerns about her abilities as an Avenger before, calling her weak, fragile, a bitch, etc. But she knew they almost always came from misogynistic men, and was able to shrug their comments off because she knew that she could easily beat all of them to a pulp, no problem. But thinking that she would sleep her way into becoming an Avenger crossed a line. Especially someone she respected and had admired as much as Steve.

John held his hand to his cheek, where he’d been hit, and looked up to make eye contact with Y/N. He smiled and before stating in a condescending tone, “That was cute.” John kicked her in the stomach, launching her onto the floor of her apartment. As she groaned and started to get up, John chuckled and kicked her down before she got to her knees. He went to kick her again when she rolled away, dodging his kick and standing up quickly, panting as she responded.

“God, do you ever shut the fuck up?”

She kicked her leg up to deliver a roundhouse kick to John’s face, spinning around to punch his nose. He stumbled a couple steps back, regaining his balance before swinging a punch towards Y/N. She caught his fist before it hit her and John took the opportunity to use his free hand to grab his shoulder and knee her in the stomach. She gasped, getting the wind knocked out of her. He then threw her into a shelf, shattering several photo frames on the ground. She landed on her stomach, attempting to get up by pushing her self up on her forearms. Y/N felt a warm liquid on her cheek and touched it, pulling it away from her face to see her fingertips covered in blood.

“Asshole,” she mumbled, before standing up to continue fighting.

Several moments ago, Bucky had made the decision to show up at Y/N’s apartment. He pressed some random keys on his computer, and now there was an error message that wouldn’t go away on his screen. Stubbornly, he tried to fix it on his own but ended up making it worse. He sighed in defeat, closing his laptop shut and tucking it under his arm before heading over towards her apartment. Bucky was just down the hall when he heard the sound of glass shattering, his leisurely stroll turning into a sprint to Y/N’s door.

Bucky arrived to see you pinned up against a wall with John’s hand around ur throat. Your hands were desperately clawing at John’s, attempting to free yourself from his grasp. Fear and terror consumed him before a wave of fury took over. Immediately, Bucky launched into action, dropping his laptop in the process. He ripped John away from you, tossing him on the ground. Bucky moved to hover over John, punching him repeatedly in the face. Y/N finally caught her breath and crawled over to Bucky, placing a hand on his shoulder, signaling him to stop. He kept his eyes on John’s bloody and bruised face, lowering his fist.

“Touch her again, and I’ll kill you,” he snarled, releasing John from his grasp.

John rolled over, took a moment to catch his breath. Bucky was standing, fists still clenched by his sides, as he watched John get up and exit Y/N’s apartment without another word.

He closed the door behind him and immediately spun around to see Y/N struggling to get up, attempting to push up from one of her knees. Bucky instantly rushed to her side, helping her to her feet. He grabbed one of her hands in his own and placed his other hand on the small of her back, as he guided her to the couch. He examined her and felt a pain in his chest, looking at her black eye, cut cheek, and her bruised neck outlined with John’s handprint. Without saying a word, he stood up and returned with a first-aid kit from her bathroom. He sat back down and immediately started to tend to her wounds. As Bucky started to disinfect the cut on her cheek, he spoke.

“That was stupid of you,” he mumbled, gently dabbing antiseptic ointment on her cut. It was a drastic contrast from his behavior only minutes ago, nearly ready to murder John. He took a bandaid from the kit and delicately placed it on her cheek. Bucky then moved his hand to assess her black eye, his thumb softly grazing a soft patch of skin under her eye. She frowned and lightly pushed his hand away.

“I would’ve been fine on my own, you know.”

“Sit still so I can take a look at your bruise.” He responded gruffly, lifting his hand and attempting to look at her bruised eye again. She shoved his hand away, this time more aggressively, and tried to stand up.

“Just leave me alone,” Y/N said, wincing and clutching her abdomen in pain, causing Bucky to grab her waist and slowly lower her back down onto the couch. Fucking John Walker.

“Y/N.”

She pulled his hands off her and reluctantly sat down to face him.

“You don’t need to defend me, Bucky,” she spoke, Bucky sensing anger in her voice. “I’m not some weak, helpless civilian. I’m a god damn Avenger for christ sake!” As Y/N shouted, her voice wavered and her eyes started to well up with tears.

Her arms were crossed in front of her chest and Bucky sat with his hands resting on his lap. Although she was speaking to Bucky, she felt like she was more-so trying to convince herself of what she was saying.

“I know,” he said calmly, but with a stern tone, keeping his eyes locked on hers.

“Okay, so leave me alone.”

“I can’t.”

“Why not!”

“Because I fuckin’ care about you!” Bucky shouted, causing Y/N’s face to immediately soften.

Her arms dropped to rest in her lap and she froze as Bucky softly raised his hand to cup her cheek, captivated by his touch. He cautiously moved, worried she would push his hand away again, but she didn’t. His thumb gently caressed her non-cut cheek and he pulled her face close to his. She felt his breaths fan her face as he spoke.

“I know you’re one of the strongest Avengers,” he started. “And I know you could kick John’s ass any day of the week. But I care so much about you and I need you to be okay.” Bucky’s lips hovered over Y/N’s, lightly brushing against hers.

“I need you, Y/N.”

She responded by crashing her lips onto his, moving her hands to hold his face closer to hers. The kiss was full of passion, love, and unspoken feelings. When they broke apart, gasping for air, Y/N smiled at him and ran a hand through his hair.

“I care about you too, Buck.”

Bucky had never seen such a bright light in his 106 years of living.

[bcdwhcre]

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CM7CwRZivBM/?igshid=1soaxz00n5171 I CAN GET THE LEVI PART OF THIS REEL OUT OF MY HEAD OH MY GOD. Just imagine the reader being part of Levi's squad, and she's talented but think Levi's condescending towards people, especially to her. The others say she's just imagining it and that the captain is always like that but the reader's always getting into spats with him. "I seriously don't like the position of of being his metaphorical punching bag." he hears her say one day and Levi has enough. As soon as she's free, Levi calls her to his office and they talk. Things escalate in another fight and before she knows it, Levi has her pinned against the wall "Do you like this position?" he says as he kisses her, her neck, her cheeks. As they move towards his desk or bed, he keeps repeating "Do you like this position?" He'll teach her a thing or two, if you catch my drift👀😶. How you end it is up to you! And if you don't want to write it, that's okay!

“Positions,” Levi x Reader

Summary: (bro idk how to summarize this pls.) always bickering with your Captain because you don’t like the way he belittles you and it turns into a bigger argument.

Warnings: Smut!!! towards the end.

Levi x Fem!Reader

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It had been a rough few weeks for the Scouts after finding out about Reiner and Bertholdt and not being able to catch them in time and after coming back from the expedition where the scouts tried to capture them again, leading in many deaths including the Commander, it made things incredibly worse.

It had been two weeks since that incident and everyday since Levi did not take it easy on his cadets and you had felt personally attacked and picked on everyday from him during training or during exercises.

At first it was small, he would tell you to try harder or do a little more. He would claim you were acting lazy, not meeting his standards and that made you catch an attitude with him because you felt like you were doing more than enough.

You were always grateful and appreciative to be under Levi considering how strong and talented he was, you actually learned a lot from him and everyone had known you as “Levi’s Mini” but that didn’t stop him from pushing you harder.

Many times it had led to you bickering with him, which ended up with you cleaning or doing rough work outs around the base to satisfy his needs on teaching you a lesson but you never learned, you continued having arguments with him from left to right.

One day you had been more stressed than usual and Levi picking on you and pushing you during the early morning training session had irritated you way more than it should have and during lunch, you started to rant to your friends at the table.

“Levi is doing this shit on purpose, last week I was cleaning horse shit for days just because I didn’t meet his standards.” You groaned, taking a bite out of your food and they just nodded their heads.

“Well, you did start an argument with him.” Armin said, making you shoot him a glare and he grew quiet as he ate his food.

“I think he just personally hates me, he doesn’t do anything to you guys.” The weight of getting picked out of all the cadets had crushed down on you heavily, almost suffocating you.

“You’re just imagining it, he picks on all of us.” Eren rolled his eyes, bringing up the times Levi has easily beaten him down and kicked him in the face.

“No, I’m not just imagining it.”

It started to grow quiet again, the sounds of chewing and forks hitting the glass plates as all the scouts had eaten their food and after they were done, they stay seated at the table to talk some more before they had to go do what was assigned to them around the base.

Levi was walking down the hallway, about to walk pass the door to the mess hall until he had heard your voice say his name a few times. It caused his curiosity to make him freeze in place and try to listen to the conversation as you rambled and vented about how he was only bullying you out of everyone.

He had rolled his eyes at you throwing a fit over something you had started. You were always the one to talk back to Levi first and start the arguments and he felt the need to put you in your place to know who was superior- it was him.

“I seriously don’t like the position of being his metaphorical punching bag.” You said loud enough that he heard it through the door and it caused his eyebrows to raise in amusement.

“You’re overthinking it, Y/N.” Armin spoke again, making you huff out a breath and continue on about how you weren’t dreaming or overthinking it.

Soon enough the day had went on as it always did. You went around to do was assigned to you including stupid cleaning chores that Levi always insisted that you should do and it only aggravated you more than before.

He had watched you almost all day, making sure you weren’t having another fit but also to wait until you had some time to come to his office and talk to him about your tantrum you threw in the mess hall. Your words had replayed in his mind repeatedly and he was growing impatient.

So Levi had went outside to where you were finishing up, making a dramatic huff leave your lips when you saw him- automatically assuming he was going to rain hell and assign you more pointless things to do.

“I need to speak to you in my office.” He said plainly, making you fully stop and glance over at him before simply nodding your head.

You didn’t want to say anything or start up another argument, you would honestly hate to do so especially when you were in too much heat already from arguing with him the other day so doing it again would only make matters worse.

After you had followed him down to his office and closed the door behind you, his cold stare had burned right through you which made you a bit uneasy inside, afraid what he has plotting inside of his head.

“Honestly, Y/N, I’m getting real sick and tired of your shit.” He wasted no time to say to your face, making you furrow your eyebrows in confusion.

“What the hell did I do this time to have you hate me?” The tone in his voice had already struck a nerve, instantly making you angry.

“You stomp in here and act like you run things when you’re nothing but a cadet. You need to watch that filthy mouth of yours before I tell you to pack your shit and leave.” He practically spat in your face, his words were harsh and brutal but nothing you’ve heard from him before.

“You pick on me every single day and torture me while the others get to do what they want. How the fuck is that fair?”

The bickering between you two had gone back and forth for minutes, the two of you shooting daggers at each other through words and it only made things heat up in seconds. Both of you were fed up with each other and it was evident that Levi wanted to kick you down on the floor and remind you who is the Captain and who is the Cadet in the situation.

He never grew so frustrated over a cadet before, he’s taught plenty of people and had plenty under his team but you were something else. He looked at you as some spoiled brat who thinks they can get want they want in a blink of an eye.

He sighed under his breath, bringing up his hand to pinch the bridge of his nose and soon stood from his seat. You stood across the office, angry and upset again over something so small and stupid- just because your Captain felt the need to remind you of your position.

But this time Levi had enough of your attitude and your bickering and complaining, it was tiring to hear it every single day over the smallest things and it was clear that cleaning and doing harsh exercises wasn’t going to teach you a lesson you needed to be taught.

He had walked over to where you stood, the both of you the same height so it was easy for him to look straight ahead at you and stare right through you, making you grow uneasy again but on the outside you kept that cold look like he does.

He was quick to shove you against the wall behind you, his hand grabbing a hold of your chin and keeping you in place as a soft unexpected gasp left your lips from the impact. You were a bit stunned for a second, your wide eyes staring into his dark ones and a small smirk had appeared on his face.

“Do you like this position instead?” He mumbled, referring to what you had said earlier in the mess hall and it made you realize he had heard your pointless rant.

He didn’t wait for you to answer his question, instead he smashed his lips on yours. The kiss was rough at first, Levi wanting to show dominance and teach you a lesson or two about talking back and bickering with him constantly.

When you tried to move your hands up to wrap around his neck, his hands were quick to grab yours and pin them against the wall above your head. He wasn’t going to let things slide so easily and let you do what you want in this specific situation, not on his watch.

“Or do you like this position?” His words were muffled against your swollen lips, almost whining in his mouth as he practically devoured you.

He was still pissed off at you, he was mad to the point where he knew after this- you probably wouldn’t be able to do chores or training tomorrow. Eventually he had pulled back from your mouth, licking his own lips and yanking you off the wall while remaining a tight grip on your wrists.

His feet had moved, pulling you with him all the way to his desk and threw stuff off to bend you over it, pressing the side of your face down on the hard wood. He was over taking it easy on you and over trying to reason with your sour attitude everyday. A simple few kicks to the face worked for Eren yet with you, no matter what happens, you always continue to fight with him.

He had looked over at the uniform that you wore, grabbing the waistband of your pants and tugging them down in an instant, letting it pool around your ankles for the time being as he kept one hand holding your wrists behind your back and the other hand hovering over your ass.

“Or do you like this position, brat?” He said quietly, his eyes shooting down and looking at yours as your face began to get flustered.

“Levi,” You had started to say but once his name had slipped out of your mouth, he instantly raised his hand and brought it down on your bare skin, making your body jolt against the desk.

“Try again.”

“Captain.” You barely managed to stutter out, your skin burning from the impact but he was rubbing his hand over it, soothing it over.

You were stunned at what was happening inside of his office right now. Just a moment ago you two were arguing and just an hour ago you two hated each other and you were stuck doing chores because you had talked back to him and now you were bent over his desk.

You weren’t really complaining but it was hard to wrap your head around it when you two have always bickered and fought with one another over the smallest things.

Levi’s sudden actions of pulling you up off the desk and forcing you to face him, his hand grabbing your chin and forced you to connect eyes with him as a small smirk appeared on his face at how red and flustered yours was.

He didn’t even say a word, instead he reached up to undo the tie around his neck and removed it, his eyes never leaving yours and soon enough he was ripping your uniform off your body until you were bare and naked in front of his eyes.

“All that crap you were talking earlier today about how I put you in a position of being my personal punching bag and now...” He trailed off, the snarky attitude in his voice as his hands grabbed yours and tied them behind your back with his tie.

“I’m actually going to put you in a position where you’ll be my punching bag all night long and we’ll see how long you last, hm?” He had tried to not chuckle or laugh but he couldn’t help the fact that he wanted to.

You didn’t even bother to say a word to him, you stayed quiet as he tied your wrists together and turned you back around and bent over his desk in front of him. He had hummed to himself at the sight of you, something he had been imagining to himself for quite some time.

Levi had licked his lips again, spreading your legs apart with his leg and looked down at the hand print that was clearly visible on your skin from a moment ago and it had made him raise his hand to lay down another smack to your already sensitive skin. You had jolted forward again, a yelp slipping out.

He groaned under his breath, trying to hold himself back from taking you the way he wanted to right now. He wanted to take his time with you and teach you a lesson with the smart attitude you always have but the way you looked, you being completely submissive and weak before him, it made him grow weak himself.

He yanked your body up by the tie around your wrists and tugged you towards his bedroom that was connected to his office, kicking the door shut behind him and pushing you down on the bed on your back. He had adjusted the tie to move your arms above your head and tied to the headboard.

“How about this? Do you like this position?” He mumbled, his lips trailing sloppy kisses from your jawline down to your neck.

His movements had made you squirm beneath his body and soft breaths had left your lips, feeling yourself grow more impatient every minute that passes but Levi didn’t mind taking all night to prove his point to you, everything goes his way.

His fingers had brushed along your bare skin, dragging all the way down to your thigh before he firmly grabbed onto it and squeezed it all while his teeth were biting your neck, leaving multiple bite marks and bruises on your soft skin.

It was slowly starting to get unbearable to handle, the more time passed, the more impatient you got and tried to move your body as close to his as possible even if your wrists were tied up. He noticed your desperate attempts for more of his touch and it had made his big ego grow more, knowing what he was doing to you was going the way he wanted it to.

“Whats wrong? You want more, brat?” He taunted you, teasing you with a big smirk on his lips and you groaned under your breath, your eyes moving away from his but he was quick to grab your chin and force you to look up at him.

“Tell me, do you deserve to be touched after everything you’ve done the last few weeks? Do you deserve to be fucked like a good girl?” His voice was low and quiet but it was clear enough to hear every word he had said.

Slowly, you begin to nod your head, trying to move your hands but realizing they were still tied together and that only frustrated you more but he was set on making you learn and set on torturing you for testing his patience everyday.

“I’ll do anything.” You mumbled, making his eyebrows raise in amusement and curiosity at the same time.

“Anything? Like what, hm?” He was intrigued to hear any offers you had plotted inside your head but honestly, you had none- you just wanted the teasing to be over with.

It grew quiet again, you didn’t know what to say next and he had caught on to what you were trying to do. His hand had let go of your chin, trailing back down your naked body until he had decided to dip his hand between your legs and get a feel for himself, wanting to see just how bad you wanted it, just how far you can go.

It wasn’t long till his rough fingers were rubbing soft circles on your clit, his eyes burning into yours while his tongue had brushed over his dry lips. He could feel just how desperate you were and how badly you wanted to be touched down there, it fueled something inside of him to take it further but he wanted to test your limits.

You had roughly tugged at the tie that was around yours wrists, the headboard creaking in the process and he started to chuckle under his breath, pressing his fingers against you more firmly, making sure you felt every little touch. You had tried to pry your legs shut, that only made Levi push them back open as he settled between them.

“I want to hear you beg or else I could do this all night, pleasuring you to the brink of cumming and pulling away till you’re in tears.” You couldn’t believe just how casual and soft his voice was, the amused look on his face had turned into a more serious one.

A lump had started to form in your throat, stunned and not knowing what to really say. You were so far into your own thoughts that you didn’t realize he had gotten down to bury his face between your legs, his tongue licking a stripe up through your folds, making a sudden moan slip out of your mouth and his eyes had moved to look into yours when you met his gaze.

“I’m waiting or do you want me to stop?” He tilted his head, sinking his teeth into your thigh gently, making you buck your hips up out of impulse.

The stubbornness you had was glued to the front of your brain, you hated to give him exactly what he wanted- it’ll only feed onto his superior ego more but the way he was working you and the way you were practically desperate for any sort of touch from him, you knew you had to do it his way to get your way. A soft huff escaped your lips, tilting your head down to stare into his lustful eyes.

“Please, Captain.” You started to speak, watching his eyebrows raise and the amusement plastered on his face as he squeezed onto your thighs, waiting for you to continue.

“I’ll do anything just for you to fuck me. Please stop teasing.” The sudden whine that slipped out of your parted lips had made him almost throb, his skin growing hot and his fingertips digging into your skin.

“Hm, I guess you’ve been through enough teasing huh brat?” He slowly started to trail kisses back up your body until he was fully hovered over you again, his free hand caressing your cheek.

“But let’s not forget I’m here to teach you a lesson on talking back to me.”

.

.

,

I made this long enough so I’m splitting this into 2 parts. Here’s the first one. Sorry for being so absent and distant. Everything had gone to hell after losing my childhood dog and school is almost over so finals and all this crazy shit but I’m trying.

I love and miss y’all <3

• Main Masterlist •

• AOT Masterlist •

[notchesandbullets]

She’s Mine (Protective!Bakugou x Punk!Tattooed!Reader) feat. Erasermic

Warnings: racism, implied homophobia (not by anyone in the main cast), sexism, discrimination/discriminatory behavior, Modern!AU, Aged-Up!AU, features Bakugou’s parents, Erasermic, Kota, Eri, Mahoro, Katsuma and all of Class A defending you when insults start to fly.

Synopsis: This is not the first time you’re seeing Bakugou’s family but it is the first time you’re meeting his grandmother, who is not the best company to be around. He comes to your defense after you stand up for yourself and he had no qualms about sticking his face in the old hag’s because he’d be damned if he lets anyone talk to you like that. You’re his.

Words: 3.2k

“Y/N’s here!!!” Mitsuki called over her shoulder as she threw the front door wide open before you could even ring the doorbell.

Her son had texted her that you two were on their way and she was eager to see you. With the job and your relationship with her son, you two were busy bees and didn’t come around as often anymore. 

Which is why she insisted that her stubborn son at least come around for his birthday since it only happened one day out of the year. Then he could continue doing whatever it was that he was doing. 

Luckily, you were on her side and helped convince him to go just this once.

You laughed at the pitter-patter of tiny feet scampering across the cherry hardwood before dropping everything to catch the little kid that tunneled into your legs. 

“Y/N!!! You’re back!!!”

Eri’s ruby red eyes sparkled with joy as she clung to your legs.

“I missed you!!!” She shouted excitedly, hugging your knees tight.

You giggled, resting a hand on top of her head. “I missed you too, munchkin.”

Bakugou snorted behind you and you were reminded of his presence. “Oi, brat. Are you going to let us in or what?”

Eri stuck her tongue out at him childishly before dashing back inside, a trick she learned from her big brother Izuku, doubling back to grab your hand and hauled you inside with her. You casted a glance over your shoulder at your boyfriend but he shrugged, giving you the go-ahead.

He would catch up to you two troublemakers later. Besides, he knew you would want to see all the kids first. 

Kota, an orphan whose extended family gave him up for adoption, along with the siblings, Mahoro and Katsuma, were all under Aizawa’s guardianship.

After he adopted Eri, it sort of just snowballed until he was in too deep. He told Mic repeatedly that it wasn’t his fault that he had a soft spot for orphans.

His husband had merely shook his head with a laugh and hoisted Katsuma up higher so that he could reach the cupcakes they were going to sneak behind his back before dinner.

Mitsuki closed the door behind him as her son kicked off his shoes. 

“She gets that from me.” She said proudly as she gazed lovingly at Eri. She loved having her around the house. 

Since Aizawa and Mic lived relatively close, they came over often since she was feeling rather lonely with an empty nest.

Bakugou snorted. “Yeah, no shit.”

His mother glared at him for his language but didn’t reprimand him like she normally would and his eyes turned into hateful slits.

“Don’t tell me—” He started, gritting his teeth.

“They’re here.” She said with a heavy sigh.

Bakugou cursed vehemently under his breath, his brow furrowing deeply as he fought to control himself. He was banking on them not making an appearance today. 

His grandparents on his dad’s side, though he adored his grandad and thought the world of him, he absolutely could not stand his grandmother. 

She was racist, sexist, had limited views on literally everything and would raise hell if she didn’t get her way and she was a huge pain in his ass.

Even his own mother couldn’t stand her and that was saying something because she tolerated everyone to some degree, despite her odd love language when it came to him. 

They were both shit at communicating but it had gotten better as he got older. 

Now, the worst things that happened were spats here and there when they disagreed but his mother was usually good about backing off if she felt he could make the right decision for himself, which wasn’t often but it was better than none. 

Bakugou strolled inside and his eyes softened for a second when he saw you playing with Mahoro, Kota sitting on your lap as Eri was climbing all over Midoriya. You four were currently playing Monopoly and Eri exclaiming in shock as she realized she was losing since the devious Kota was slowly claiming more and more property.

“Haha!!” He cackled, rubbing his hands together evilly. “You landed on the purple one!!”

“No fair!!” Eri protested. “I don’t have enough money!!!”

“Too bad!!”

“Deku-niichan.” Eri cried, her eyes watering and you nearly fell over laughing as he frantically tried to get her to stop crying. 

The rest of his old class from college was already here, as per his mother’s request and Kirishima’s invitation.

Shinsou, Tsuyu, Todoroki and Iida were all near the food, the previous class rep serving drinks even though it wasn’t his job to play host. 

Tokoyami was currently engaged in a conversation with his dad and as Bakugou spun around the room, he realized every last one of his old classmates had shown up.

It was fucking crowded in his house. 

But the spark of joy he felt diminished the instant he saw his grandmother and he scowled, straying to your side almost protectively as her eyes burned into his back. 

This. 

This was why he didn’t fucking want her here. He didn’t want her to rain judgement upon the person who had won over his heart.

No way in hell.

Look, you weren’t fragile by any means. Your heart was filled with a healthy amount of self-esteem and you had built up your walls to protect yourself against people who had something to say about your many tattoos or piercings, yet you still were the kindest soul he had ever met. 

It was in the way you walked and interacted with people, a genuine smile always present on your features as you gave them more respect than most would give you upon first glance.

Bakugou knew you could handle yourself but you shouldn’t have to with his own fucking relatives. That shit was messed up. 

You glanced at your boyfriend out of the corner of your eye and your gaze dropped down to where his hands were clenched into fists, jaw locked tight and you sigh, softly urging Kota to get up and continue playing with Mahoro and Katsuma until you got back.

The boy grumbled but did as you asked, easily getting swept up in the competition of the game as you drifted to Bakugou’s side.

“I know that look,” You murmured into his ear, your hand covering his as you ignored the idle chatter coming from your friends and family around you. “What’s wrong?”

Bakugou clenched his teeth and debated about it for a second.

“Nothing.” He spat out eventually, choosing to deal with the old hag himself and you let him go when he stomped off, knowing that Kirishima or Kaminari would handle whatever it was that just happened if he didn’t want to talk to you about it. 

Momo greeted you warmly and a smile slipped onto your face as though it had never left. 

You hadn’t bothered to dress all that nice or different from your usual getup, feeling more comfortable in leather and all black that looked like you just came from a rock concert but you got the feeling that not everyone was feeling it as much as Jirou was when she came over to compliment you on your fashion taste.

Shoji and Koda each greeted you respectively and before you knew it, the catered dinner arrived and it was finally time to eat. The judging look you had been aware of from someone you didn’t recognize passing by as you brushed it off as unimportant and focused on helping Mitsuki set the table. 

You clapped your hands gleefully when Eri pitched in to help, complimenting her on how well of a job she did as she finished and you beamed at her when she smiled up at you.

Of course, Aizawa needed to help her since he didn’t want her to stand on a chair and lose her balance but it was easy enough to lift her up. She wasn’t that big yet. 

He had already told Mic he was dreading the day when she would grow up and have to leave home to start her own life and his husband patted him on the back sympathetically, reassuring him that it wouldn’t be the end of the world. 

They loved their children and their children absolutely adored them. 

You had told them as such on more than one occasion since they got insecure that they weren’t adequate parents but you reassured them that they were perfectly imperfect.

They put their kids’ health, safety and happiness before everything else and did everything they could for them. 

You wished your own parents had done that for you. 

As soon as you set down the place settings for everyone and called everyone in for dinner, they flooded the huge dining table that overflowed into the living area to accommodate everyone. 

Bakugou had left for a second to grab something from his old bedroom, promising to be back right away and you reassured him that you would be fine. 

You were barely into helping Mic convince a stubborn Kota to take a spoonful of green beans onto his plate, Shinsou helping Aizawa with Mahoro’s vegetable serving, when a throat cleared itself loudly.

The lively chatter died all around the table died down as grey eyes pierced your own and you stiffened but held your ground. 

You knew that look, you had seen it too many times. 

The older woman opened her mouth and spoke.

“So, you’re my grandson’s girlfriend?” She enunciated, looking you up and down from where she was sitting at the head of the table, her hands setting down her knitting project to glare at you. “I don’t see why he’s dating you.”

The expressions of shock at her vulgar words made several of your friends angry in your defense, Iida and Todoroki trembling in anger and Mina’s eyes narrowed as she dropped her happy-go-lucky personality in favor of ripping her a new one. 

But before any of them could act, she was continuing evenly.

“For someone who doesn’t know how to dress properly and looks like that, I mean, it’s already bad enough that your skin is that color, my dear, and you’ve ruined it even further with those ugly things.” She spat, unaware of the wrath she was evoking from every single person in the room. 

Kaminari’s electric eyes glowed as he saw red. “Bad enough?” 

“Excuse me?” Shoji seethed with unparalleled anger rising up in his chest, a rare sight for the normally calm and collected man.

Jirou, Ochako and Momo were furious at the way she was talking down to you and they shared a look amongst themselves, communicating wordlessly that this wasn’t going to be allowed to get out of hand any longer.

Kirishima was visibly shaking and even the normally shy Koda was fuming in his seat, openly glaring at the elderly woman who spewed insults at you. 

A chair scraped back as Midoriya shot up but you shook your head, holding your finger up to your lips as you subtly gestured for everyone to hold back. 

Aizawa’s nostrils flared from where he was covering Eri’s ears while several of his former students took care of the rest of the kids to make sure they wouldn’t hear this.

To their horror, the grandmother wasn’t even close to being done as she pointed a gnarly finger at you.

“Your job as a girl is to stay in the kitchen and attend to your husband. To even think you’re worth anything if you weren’t involved with my grandson is absurd.” She hissed at you venously, her skewed ideals rooted deeply in her beliefs and how she was raised. “You are a disgrace to even breathe the same air as someone like me.”

“Mother!!”

Bakugou’s father frantically tried to amend what had been done and Mitsuki was about to yell at her but you stopped her. 

Everyone’s eyes turned on you as you took a deep breath. 

“I’m sorry you feel that way, but I won’t apologize for being who I am.” You said quietly but firmly, failing to notice someone coming down the stairs and overhearing your steady words as they flowed from your lips like honey. 

Not tricks. Just genuine sympathy, like you didn’t even hear her say all those horrible things to you. 

It was supposed to be your boyfriend’s day and you weren’t going to ruin it for him in the same manner that she had just done. 

“I understand what you’re saying, but don’t you think that we should be allowed to love who we love?” 

You inclined your head slightly, allowing a sliver of the emotion you felt to slip onto your face as you glanced pointedly as Aizawa and Mic.

After you noticed her staring so openly at you, you also noticed that she would scowl whenever the two men would walk in the room and play with their kids and while you would take whatever she was going to throw at you, you weren’t going to tolerate the same for them.

They didn’t deserve that.

Holding up your arm, you inspected the ink running up and down the length of it. “As for my appearance, my style is my own. I don’t recall asking for your opinion.”

There were a couple of snickers from Jirou, Kaminari, Sero and Mineta as you put her in his place and Todoroki leaned back in his seat, gazing up at you proudly as you stood your ground without firing any hate back at the old woman. 

Hagakure clapped her hands jubilantly as a few cheers of agreement sounded around from the table but you had one more thing to say. 

Your eyes softened. “I understand how you may feel about me, but I don’t need your acceptance. I love myself just as I am and if Katsuki ever feels differently about me and we split, then we’ll split. But please do not judge my love for him based on how you believe I should be. I am who I am and I won’t ever apologize for that.”

“And you never fucking have to.”

Bakugou strolled into the dining area, smirking at the old hag who had the nerve to look shocked at his appearance. Of course she would be so fucking disgusting to say something this horrible to you when he wasn’t within earshot. 

Bitch. 

Blood relations didn’t excuse behavior. 

Narrowing his vermilion eyes at his grandmother, he faced her head on as he took your hand into his. 

“She’s my fucking girlfriend.” He declared, tenacity and stubbornness dripping off of his tone as he snarled at his grandmother. “And if you ever speak to her like that again—”

He nodded in time to Mic and Aizawa, the men who had mentored him and taught him almost everything he knew. 

“Or either of them, including the rest of these shitheads, I’ll fucking kill you.”

The veiled threat hung in the air and you squeaked as Bakugou abruptly dragged you to the front door.

“Where are you going?!” Mitsuki cried out, worried that you both were going to leave without eating anything and she was sad to think that her mother-in-law had driven you away.

Bakugou gnashed his teeth at the confused clamour that arose from his classmates. “Out!! We’ll be back later!!”

You could hardly get a word in edgewise as he dragged you all the way out to the car after barely giving you enough time to put on your shoes.

“Katsuki!! What—”

Your bewildered protests were interrupted as he whirled around and kissed you hard. You melted into his touch as his hot palms settled on your hips, pulling you flush against him. Whining softly when he pulled away, you panted as he breathed hard against you, his exhales fanning out over your face.

You were in a daze as he led you to the car, buckling you in before he got in the driver’s seat. 

And he drove, taking a detour that would take him towards the countryside where there were no people, no places, just you and him. 

Just how he liked it. 

The painted lavenders and pale pinks of the setting sun faded to midnight black with stars twinkling high above you as you cruised around for hours before he finally spoke. 

“I’m sorry.” He apologized quietly and you immediately grabbed his hand that wasn’t currently occupied with steering.

“No!! You don’t have anything to apologize for—”

“Yes I do.”

His grip tightened on the steering wheel a fraction as he slowly explained that if he had told you earlier about what she was capable of instead of ranting to his best friend like an idiot, maybe he could’ve—

“Katuski.”

Your soft murmur brought him back down to planet Earth and you shook your head firmly. 

“It’s not your fault.” You told him without wavering once as he brought the car to a stop just at the edge of the trail. “I don’t blame you at all.”

Bakugou slammed his hand against the steering wheel angrily. “Yes it fucking is!!!”

He ranted and he ranted about how he had come downstairs only to hear his own flesh and blood spitting those vile insults that you didn’t deserve at all. 

You didn’t deserve it at all.

You were quiet when he finished and when his chest was heaving with the spent rage he had aired out, you asked, “Feel better?”

“Like hell I do!!!” He snapped at you, about to go off again when he noticed the bemused expression on your face. “What the fuck, dumbass?”

You tilted your head in confusion. “Huh?”

“Why the hell aren’t you bothered at all?” He questioned, genuinely flabbergasted. 

Eyes clearing in understanding, you traced the back of his hand with your fingers. “Because it doesn’t bother me.”

At the sight of Bakugou opening his mouth, you hurried out, “I mean, do you really think someone like that gets to cut me down? Her words don’t mean anything to me.”

You hesitated and opened yourself a little bit, trusting him not to take advantage of your weakness because while her words stung in the moment, it was nothing your heart couldn’t come back from. But…

“If you were to say them, it would hurt a lot more, but I don’t think you would— eep!!”

You yelped as he dragged you over to his seat, yanking at the seatbelt that got in the way, but pulled you to his chest once he released the safety clip.

“Never.” He breathed against your hair, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head. “I would fucking never.”

You closed your eyes. “I know.”

There, in his car, you two stayed in a tight embrace under the stars until you it got late enough that you insisted you should go back and at least spend the rest of the time with your friends, which, if their sleeping schedules hadn’t changed since college, there was a good chance almost all of them would still be up.

So Bakugou drove you both back, his heart a little more at ease after he got to hold you close and be alone with you. 

That was all he wanted.

Well… He thought to himself as he unconsciously brushed his left hand over the small velvet box that had been hastily stuffed in his pocket the second he grabbed it from his room.

That and one other thing.

[andilovetowrite]

Punch To The Heart (Part 2)

Peter Parker x Reader

Summary: After repeatedly blowing you off on plans, events and trips, you have finally had enough. But Peter soon regrets it as he sees the harsh reality of almost losing his best friend.

Based on a request, you can find here!

Warnings: Shooting and violence. But nothing too graphic. This is probably my most angsty fic yet, with sprinkles of fluff here and there :)

Word count: 2.4k

Here is my Masterlist in case you want to find more of my work :)

Punch to the Heart (Teaser)

Punch to the Heart (Part 1)

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“Crap crap crap”, Peter muttered, running his hands through his hair. He looked at Aunt May, hoping she would say that she was joking; it was some sick prank. But she just looked down, coming to smooth her hand on his back.

“Sorry, Pete. Her parents just called me to tell you that she is in the hospital. She isn’t doing so good. She was losing a lot of blood before passing out on the street. Police arrived 5 minutes later.”

Peter sighed, feeling his throat close up as he shook his head. “No, no, no, they said they will go after my girl” Peter looked back at May as he quickly suited up. “My girl,” He said quietly before snapping his web up, jumping out of his window and towards the hospital, sirens blaring in the background…

2 WEEKS AGO

Peter walked into the school, arm slung around MJ, pressing a kiss to her head before he let her go, watching her walk to her class. He kept walking, a glazed look in his eye, that he didn’t even see you, tumbling onto you.

“Oh, I’m so sorry”, he rambled before he saw who he was talking to.

“Hey Peter”, you said coldly, looking at him with a pinch in your heart.

“Oh, hey Y/N!” he said, a slightly pained look on his face.

You let out a sharp intake of breath you didn’t know you had been holding since he walked in. “I’m surprised you even know my name after you bailed on me last night. Again.”

Peter sighed uncharacteristically. “Look, I already said I’m sorry. Like a billion times!”

You scoffed, trying to hide how much it hurt. “Nope. Not even once. I left you 15 voicemails, Peter! I thought you were dead or you had gotten hurt! Couldn’t you just send me one text? After you probably texted MJ a billion times”, you said, imitating his voice. You tried to stop the shaking in your voice.

It had only been less than a week since you and Peter had talked about him not speaking to you anymore, and now it had been happening more and more. You knew he had Spiderman duties 5/7 days in a week, so you planned your night together on a Saturday night.

The same Saturday night, Tony had asked him to come because there was a challenging mission urgently. But you had looked at the news all night to see how the fight was going. Not once did they mention anything about a fight.

“How was the fight, Pete?”

“What fight?” he asked, confused. And that gave you the answer you were looking for.

“The one you told me as an excuse… You know, I’m sure MJ didn’t even get one text. Because you were by her side the entire time.”

Peter looked at you, wide-eyed. He opened and closed his mouth, trying to say something to you.

“Tell me I’m wrong, Parker. That you blew me off for the hundredth time to hang out with your new girlfriend?!”

Peter didn’t say anything for a couple of minutes, just staring at the ground, even as the bell rang. But then he squared up, jaw clenching. “Why the hell can’t I just spend time with MJ” Without you breathing down my neck?”

“Because you hang out with everyone, Peter! MJ, Ned, Betty… heck, even Flash! But not once do you hang out with me!”

“Maybe because you are just so fucking frustrating! Always wanting attention like a kid!” he spat out, then he looked away, muttering something under his breath.

“What did you say?” you asked, voice breaking, as the silence of the hall felt suffocating.

“I said, I thought you had gotten more than enough attention you would’ve needed in your life!” Just as those words left his mouth, you crumpled as if a shock of pain had gone through your body.

“Why-why would you say that?” you cried out, not caring that you had school anymore as you dropped your bag on the floor, furiously wiping your tears on the back of your hand. “Don’t answer that. I know why you said it, Peter”, you said, glaring at him through the tears. Walking out of the school, you clung to your shirt. So much for not wanting to care.

Little did you know that leaving your bag at school may have been the worst decision you could ever make….

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DING DONG, DING DONG, DING DONG, the doorbell kept repeating. Your parents had gone out for the night, leaving you at home by yourself. You walked over, trying to see who would come at 4:00 in the evening.

“Y/N!”, Peter called out. But he sounded muted.

You slowly opened the door to see Spiderman standing there, holding your school bag and some flowers. “I’m sorry. I know I haven’t been spending time with you, but someone sent a message to the compound a week back. Said it was for Spiderman. They told me that they were going to go after my girl, to get revenge for stopping the bank robbery that happened a couple of months ago.”

“Uhm, so that’s why you weren’t spending time with me?”

“Well, MJ also wants me to stop spending time with you so much. Said you were kinda clingy.” He said, scratching the back of his neck.

You scoffed. “No offence, but you gotta stand up for yourself Peter!”

“I can’t just do that, she is my girlfriend.”

“More like your mom…”, you muttered, rolling your eyes.

“What?”

“Nothing”

“Ok then.”

You sighed, giving him the flowers back. “Here, give these to MJ. She will like them. Or why don’t you wilt them a bit first, so I’ll be like her soul?”

Peter looked shocked. “Why would you say that? She is the best girlfriend ever!”

Your eyes softened. So he didn’t know. “Peter, I saw her and Brad today. At the field. Making out!”

Peter shook his head, more so to himself than you. “She wouldn’t cheat on me Y/N!”

“Okay, Peter. If you wanna keep on trusting your lying, rude girlfriend. Then go ahead. Guess we are back on square one then?” Peter didn’t even say anything, but when he left, you could see he left the flowers at your door, crumpled but still smelling fresh.

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Peter stood in MJ’s room, playing with her hair softly after his fight with Y/N. But something was playing on his mind.

“MJ, did you cheat on me? With Brad? Since some people claimed that they saw you and him making out near the bleachers?”

MJ looked like a deer caught in the headlights but was interrupted(or saved) by Peter’s phone blaring loudly. Peter grabbed it, picking it up to hear Aunt May tell him something he never would have thought of.

“Y/N’s in the hospital Peter”

Peter gasped, jumping off MJ’s bed. “What happened”, she asked, looking annoyed.

“Y/N’s in the hospital! I have to go there…” Peter said, freaking out now. He looked at MJ, hoping to see some type of understanding in her eye, but she just glared at the phone.

“So what? It’s not like you can speed up her healing process. Whatever happened to her? Did she cry so hard her eyes fell out?”, MJ asked bitingly, rolling her eyes. Peter stood there, shocked.

“MJ, she is my best friend! I have to go see what happened to her.”

She laughed cruelly, “Oh please, you haven’t been her best friend for a long time. Let’s not act as if you care. Plus, you promised to meet my parents tonight.”

Peter shook his head firmly. “No-no MJ, I can’t just sit here having dinner with your mom and dad while Y/N’s in the hospital.”

MJ scoffed, looking down at Peter. “Okay, then here is what’s gonna happen. If you go to the hospital tonight, we’re over.”

Peter stuttered, looking at her in disbelief. “Wha-why?! What’s wrong with you? I have to go see her MJ!”

“No, you don’t. She will be fine. I’m sure it’s nothing major knowing Y/N. Always makes such a big fucking deal about everything”

Peter chuckled humourlessly and turned towards the window. “If you are going to make me choose between my best friend and my girlfriend, then I don’t know what to say to you, Michelle.”

MJ nodded, flipping him off. “Oh please, more like the girl you love and your girlfriend.”

And with that, Peter jumped out the window, tears already gathering in his eyes.

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Peter quickly ran into the apartment, seeing May sitting down in the kitchen, talking to someone on the other side.

“Oh okay, I’ll tell him. Please keep me updated”

May turned around when she heard Peter slam the door shut. He ran over to her, eyes bloodshot. “Wha-what happened?”

May sighed, looking at Peter sadly. “It’s not your fault Peter”, she started, and that was when Peter broke.

“May-ple-please, what happened to her!?”

“Remember how you got that call, that those guys will be after someone you know? Well, they must have seen you go to Y/N’s house in the afternoon, and then targeted her.”

“Shit May! It’s my fault...Wait, do they know I’m Spiderman? Because then you have to go somewhere. I’ll call Happy!”, Peter said, rushing around.

May put her hand on his shoulder, “Peter, they don’t know you are Spiderman. All they saw was the city’s hero dropping off a package to Y/N’s house.

“How did she even get out?!”

May sighed. “Fought out of the van, but just as she was running, they shot her in the leg and stomach. Then came up and hurt her a bit more before leaving her on the street”

“Crap crap crap”, Peter muttered, running his hands through his hair. He looked at Aunt May, hoping she would say that she was joking; it was some sick prank. But she just looked down, coming to smooth her hand on his back.

“Sorry, Pete. Her parents just called me to tell you that she is in the hospital. She isn’t doing so good. She was losing a lot of blood before passing out on the street. Police arrived 5 minutes later.”

Peter sighed, feeling his throat close up as he shook his head. “No, no, no, they said they will go after my girl” Peter looked back at May as he quickly suited up. “My girl,” He said quietly before snapping his web up, jumping out of his window and towards the hospital, sirens blaring in the background…

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7:51 pm Peter, Peter there are some guys standing outside my apartment. These look like the guys who you took down a few months ago, remember? The bank robbery. Anyway, please call me back, I’m worried.

8:05 pm Hey, please pick up. The guys are now banging open the apartment door. I think I heard a gunshot, Peter! Please please come here…

8:15 pm Oh god, Peter. They are coming up the stairs, and they aren’t stopping. I locked the door and I’m staying hidden, but I’m scared, Peter. Please come here. I think they already shot someone downstairs...Ohmygod, I can hear them on my floor, Pete-

8:17 pm Peter, they are outside my door. I shut off all the lights and am hiding under my parent’s bed. You let out a quiet gasp, then started whispering. “They are inside Peter! I can hear them. At least three voices. Please come here, I need Spiderma-

There you are, a gruff voice called out as you let out a pained squeak.

8:26 pm Pete-Peter, they bought me down. Chucked me out the window. Peter, I don’t know where I am just that I’m in some type of van. I kept my phone next to me, and all-ugh-the guys have gone out for something, wait they’re coming ba-

As he played each message on the way to the hospital, Peter could feel himself getting more and more worried. The guys from the bank robbery. The threat. Y/N now in the hospital. Because of Spiderman. Because of him. Because he didn’t stay next to her when it mattered. Because he blew her off for his probably cheating, heartless girlfriend. Ex-girlfriend.

Arriving at the back of the hospital, he quickly shed his suit, running in. “Um, hello. I’m trying to find Y/N, Y/L/N? She was brought in today evening.

The nurse nodded, pointing to the room down the hall. “She is in there.”, she said, sounding sympathetic. “Sorry..”

Peter didn’t even stick around to see why she was sorry for him. Instead, he ran to the room. No one was here, only a couple of doctors here and there. He went next to the room, seeing your parent’s standing beside you, your body covered in gashes and bruises, while gauze covered several parts of your leg and stomach. Peter walked in, going straight to Y/N, but just as he was about to reach you, your heartbeat flatlined, a loud BEEEEP resonating in the room….

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Tagged: @idkatee @eternalscribblesforthesoul @loudbluepancake @poisondevotion @scram1326 @t-hollanderr @305weasley @starknik22 @marvelfansworld @lou-la-lou @lomlparker

Wow! Cliffhanger...ohhh. Anyway, thanks for reading this. It was really fun to write, and I highly enjoyed it. The next part won’t be out for at least a week, since I gotta study for exams. If you wanna be tagged in my next part, as well as other posts, just comment or send me a quick message… Thanks so much, and until next time :)

[arminbitchlover]

Confession (F!reader x Jean Kirschstein)

content warnings: mild language, smut, oral (F receiving), praise, unprotected sex, alcohol/intoxication

summary: reader and jean have been in love w one another for years, but never actually admitted it. it wasn't until one night at marley, drunk jean decided to change all of that and finally make them his.

word count: 3.1k

DO NOT POST/SHARE MY WORK ON TIKTOK

You forgot what it was like to genuinely have fun with your friends again. You couldn't recall the last time you got together and not worry about your lives being at risk. It didn't matter to you whether it be making bets to see who takes a shot or reminiscing on old times during training, it just made you feel somewhat at peace.

"C'monnnn, y/n!! a single shot won't hurt anybody." Hange playfully shoves your shoulder as they hold a shot glass in front of your face.

"I rather not, but thank you anyways." You giggle and push away the shot from your view.

"More for me." They chug down the alcohol as if it was water, not being affected from the after burning effect.

You never really liked the idea of being drunk; having little to no memory of what you're doing and having to deal with migraines and nausea the next morning did not please you in the slightest. Jean, on the other hand, didn't seem to care much about the consequences.

"Y-Yeah, ssoooo then I-I zoomed in and swoosh titan DEAD!" Jean hiccups and waves around his hands as he tells Connie his, more than likely, fictional kill.

"You sound like an idiot." Connie playfully smacks Jean's shoulder, laughing out loud.

"Youu are— More pleaseee." Jean slurs out his sentences into one while pointing at his empty glass.

"Sure, buddy." Connie smiles and grabs his glass, walking over to the bar.

Before he could call over a bartender to fill Jean's cup, you clear your throat to catch his attention.

"Don't you think Jean is going a bit overboard with the alcohol?" You flash a confused look to Connie and immediately break out into a smile.

"Oh fuck yes, but he's enjoying himself so I'll let this one slide." He sits on the chair next to you, glancing at Jean and Armin having some kind of competition.

"Yeah, he is..." You trail off, letting your mind wander off as you stare at Jean.

You never had the courage to admit to Jean how much he meant to you since the day you met him. You recall it as if it was yesterday, you were practicing with ODM gear and one of your hooks stopped working and Jean didn't waste a second to help you. You remember everything about him at that moment, how he had a grass stain in the mid left of his shirt and how he had a small scratch right under his left eye as well.

Before you got the chance to tell him how you felt, you found out about how Jean was basically in love with Mikasa and fuck did that hurt, but it was over now. That was 4 years ago and now you're here, still with the same little crush but understanding there was no point of trying to make it anymore than that.

"Uhhh, y/n?" Connie snaps you out of your thoughts, noticing your eyes never leaving Jean.

"Huh? Oh— sorry." You turn your head back to Connie, wanting to get Jean out of your thoughts.

"You know, he's stupid if he doesn't see what an amazing person you are." He smiles, immediately seeing through you.

"Is it really that obvious?" You slightly smack your forehead.

"Somewhat, but, hey, you really should try to shoot your shot. Jean got over Mikasa a while back and I notice the way he glances at you when you're not looking." He hits your shoulder with his, getting a small chuckle out of you.

"Yeah as if." You grin and continue your conversation with Connie, unaware that Jean has been shooting quick looks at both of you when neither of you were looking.

Jean never likes thinking about his feelings, let alone talking about them, especially after being rejected by Mikasa, but he will never get over how everything about you causes butterflies in his stomach.

He will never forget when he noticed how perfect you were, it was during dinner with all the scouts and the usual argument between him and Eren had arisen. Everyone else was telling Jean to quit and that he was being rude for no reason, but you were the only one who stood up for him. He will never forget how you looked, you had a bruise on your forearm and a gash on your right cheek from cutting yourself with a branch, but he still thought you look absolutely beautiful

Now it was two years later, and he never actually thought of ever telling you how he felt since he just assumed that it was some type of infatuation, but it was so much more than that. Before he had the chance to tell you how he felt, his self doubt clouded his mind, telling him that it was just a one sided crush and he believed it.

"Armin, d-do yerrr think y/n and Connie— together?" Jean clumsily turned his head to Armin, seemingly forgetting what they were talking about in the first place.

"Jean, you're completely over analyzing them. They're just friends." Armin laughs, quickly noticing Jean's jealousy.

"I-I hope so," He hiccups, still staring down Connie and notices you laughing at something he said.

"Oh, fuck this." Jean tightens his hands into fists, gets up and walks towards you, not aware that he was leaning to his left.

"CONNIE!" He grabs his best friend from his collar, pulling him out of your seat.

"JEAN— WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?" Connie grips Jean's wrist, pushing him away.

You stand there in shock, not knowing how to help either of them.

"Y-Y-You know how I feel about y/n and youuu still decide— steal her from me," He stammers while using the bar table for balance.

You and Connie both look at each other, completely stunned from what just came out of his mouth.

"Jean..." You trail off and slowly make your way towards him, scared that what he says is too good to be true.

"Whattt?" He makes eye contact, genuinely curious why you were calling him.

"Maybe we should go back to the hotel and get you some water." Connie rubs Jean's back, completely disregarding what had just transpired between them.

"Wait—" Jean pulls away from Connie and faces towards you.

"I love-love you, okay?" He grazes his fingers across your forearm, not thinking much of what he just confessed.

You feel your face start to heat up and your heart begins to pound rapidly in your throat. You couldn't believe what you just heard, you think it's some sort of twisted lie that his drunken self has just stirred up. It was all too good to be true, right?

"You're wasted, Jean." You move your arm away, doubting everything he just spat out.

"I knew you didn't f-feel the samee way." He looks down on the floor, looking as if he wanted to barf and cry at the same time.

"Let's uh— go, Jean." Connie gives you a weak smile before taking him out of the bar.

You sit alone for a few minutes, not knowing what to do with yourself before deciding that you just needed to end this night already. You get your things and make your way to your hotel and check in.

You grab the keycard from the receptionist and head to your room, feeling completely empty inside. You didn't really feel like staying up any longer after what happened even though it was barely 11:30, so you took a shower and went to bed with Jean's confession playing repeatedly in your head.

༛༛ ༛ ༛༺༻༛ ༛ ༛༛

You wake up to knocking at your door, leaving you completely startled. You rub your eyes before looking at the clock, 4:54.

"What the fuck.." You mumble to yourself and get out of bed and check the peephole, seeing Jean with no shirt and pajama pants.

Your chest tightens and you immediately open the door, not giving it any thought.

"Y/n..." He rubs the back of his neck, not making any eye contact.

"Jean." You keep your body somewhat hidden behind the door, not knowing what to do.

"Can I please come in?" He looks at you, hoping you'll say yes.

"Well, are you still drunk?" You smile, trying to lighten up the mood.

"Oh no, I— um slept it off, I just have a headache." He laughs as you widen the door and allow him to walk in.

"Is everything okay?" You sit on the bed, hoping that he doesn't bring up anything he said at the bar.

"So, uh Connie told me everything." You feel your heart drop to your stomach, already assuming what his next words are going to be.

"And?" You close your eyes, preparing for the worst.

"I can't really take back what I said, you deserve to know the truth," Your eyes widen and you turn to look at him, his eyes on you, "I just need to know if you feel the same way."

"Y-You really like me?" You feel butterflies in your stomach, everything beginning to feel so surreal.

"Of course I do, what is there not to like about you." He chuckles and takes a seat next to you.

"Well um- I like you too... For a while now actually." You hesitate as you realize that this was real, Jean really sees you as more than just a friend.

"Really?" His face turns red, not noticing that he immediately took a hold of your hand.

"Yes, really." You squeeze his hand for reassurance.

You both stare into each other's eyes for a little bit, enjoying one another's presence, unaware that both of you start leaning in at the same time

Your lips slightly brush against each other, feeling the electricity trill through your body before connecting them and letting the warmth of his body consume you.

You've never shared a kiss like this before; one that's so deep and passionate and could almost feel all the feelings you have for one another being poured onto it.

"God, you're perfect," Jean whispers as he slowly lowers you to the point when you're laying flat on the bed and he's on top, both of his legs on each side of yours.

You glide your hand across his chiseled jaw while he has a firm grip on your waist, scared that if he let go it would all be over. You completely underestimated how much you wanted him, not just physically, but all of him.

"Do you want this?" He lifts his head and rubs his thumb in tiny circles on your cheek.

"I do." You grab his face with both of your hands, pulling him in for another slow and sensual kiss.

You grind slightly against him, already feeling the arousal pooling low in your stomach just from a kiss. You slide your hands down to his abs, lightly tracing them with your index finger. 

He moves his hands down to your shirt, pulling it over your head and tossing it off to the side. His eyes widen, completely in shock that you were without a bra.

"What?" You giggle, lifting his chin to make eye contact.

"Nothing." He grins and gives you a peck, before turning his focus back down to your chest.

He starts by kissing on your collarbone, intertwining his hands with yours by the sides of your head; tightening his grip each time he marks your skin.

"Shit." You exhale heavily, loving the intimacy Jean created with everything he was doing to you.

He made his way to your tits, taking his hand to massage your left breast while he kisses and lightly sucks the other one with care. You run your hands through his hair, taking in everything he was doing to you.

"Is it okay if I- um go down on you?" He breathes out, feeling his hard cock get tight against his pants.

"Of course." You feel your face heat up and help him pull down your underwear.

He pepper kisses all the way down your stomach before reaching your slick center. You feel your heartbeat start to quicken, already feeling prepared as this was something you would think about endlessly, but before he did anything you feel your legs being hoisted onto his shoulders and his grip on your outer thighs become more firm.

You suddenly felt the pad of his thumb lightly press against your clit, involuntarily causing your hips to buck up. You glance down and see a smile across his face.

"I'm going to take my sweet time with you and I'll make sure you feel nothing but pleasure, okay?" He smirks at you and goes back down, not waiting for a response.

"O-Okay." You took in a sharp breath, unexpectedly feeling his hot wet tongue take in your arousal that covered your slit.

He focuses on your clit, doing sloppy circles at a tedious pace. Even though he just started, you love every second of this. It makes you feel so special to have someone wanting to spend a great deal of time just pleasing you and not worry about anything else.

His hands slowly rub up and down on the outer sides of your thighs, making his actions so much more intimate. He continues his sensual pace, as you grip his brown locks, feeling fuzzy.

"Mm, Jean," You moan, grinding against his mouth wanting a bit more.

He didn't hesitate, seemingly already knowing what you wanted, and slips his middle finger into you. He still wasn't rushing anything, wanting to make everything last as long as possible, wanting to ensure your first time with each other was nothing but perfect.

It slips into you effortlessly, taking his finger in while your walls clech against it. While you don't realize, Jean's dick is seeping with precum, making a small wet spot go through his boxers and onto his sweatpants.

"Another please." You're so ready to gush all over him; you never understood the effect unhurried foreplay could have on you until this moment. You didn't think it could turn you on this much, let alone cum, but fuck, Jean was making it happen and it was coming fast.

He pushes in his ring finger, curling them both to hit your g-spot, causing your vision to swim.

"Cum on my face, please," Jean mumbles, slightly picking up the speed but nothing too harsh and abrupt.

It didn't take long for you to fall apart, your thighs trembling against him as you moan out his name while gushing on his face and fingers.

"You sound so pretty saying my name." He pulls away and smirks at you, gently rubbing your clit to bring you back down from your high.

"Well maybe you should try and make me do it again," You giggle, feeling ready for what was about to happen.

He makes his way back up your body, pulling off his pants and boxers before aligning himself.

"Are you sure you want this?" He looks into your eyes, worried that he'll fuck up somehow and ruin everything.

"Yes, I'm sure." You pull him in for a gentle kiss, feeling him push into you and stretch you out.

You gasp, not expecting him to be as big as he was. You feel your walls clench against him trying to take him in as smoothly as possible even if it was borderline painful.

"Shit— are you okay?" Jean stops, giving you a worried look, noticing discomfort flash across your face.

"I'm fine, keep going," You reassure him and you mean it. It wasn't anything that was excruciatingly painful, but rather just pressure and soreness and you had to admit it felt fucking amazing.

"I'm still going to take it slow alright? I just— really want to enjoy this moment with you." He kisses your forehead and moves your hands to the top of your head, holding them with one hand and the other gripping the bed frame.

So many thoughts go through your head at once. One part of you was so happy that you and Jean were finally together, admitting to each other what you've kept hidden for years. The other was so fucking scared, scared that there was no certainty that either of you would be alive by next week. So you understood Jean's words and you wanted to enjoy every second with him as well, as if it were your last.

He slides further into you, already feeling his cock start to twitch in you from how tight you are.

"Fuuckk," He drawls, feeling his tip hit your cervix.

"Y-You feel so good," You whimper, feeling yourself coat his dick in arousal as your back starts to arch against his stomach.

He keeps his slow and sensual pace, resting his forehead against yours while giving you soft kisses between each thrust.

You close your eyes, savoring what he feels like inside you, his sluggish movements making you feel fuzzy and warm.

You feel the pressure build up in your stomach again, feeling him hit a spot so deep in you that you didn't realize was even there.

"'m gonna cum again." Your eyes roll back and you move your hips against him, seeing stars as he puts a bit more pressure into your sweet spot, feeling your walls start to flutter.

"Don't hold back." He moves his hand that is holding yours back down to your clit, setting you over the edge.

"Jean!" You throw your head back, losing yourself in the waves of sensations and feeling yourself tightly clutch on his cock.

"Fuck, I think I'm gonna cum too." He immediately pulls out and begins pumping himself.

Your stomach becomes painted with hot white spurts of cum, seeing Jean's face wash over with bliss and relief.

"That was... wow." Jean smiles and pulls you in for one final kiss before putting back on his clothes and walks over to the bathroom to get paper towels.

"That was worth the wait," You giggle, reaching your hand forward as you try to grab the paper towels from his hand.

"No, please, let me." He lightly pushes you back down, gently wiping down your stomach and making sure you were clean before laying back down next to you.

"Thank you, Jean." You rest your head against his chest, listening to his heart beat.

"Why are you thanking me?" He clumsily traces your back, taking in your scent.

"Making me happy." You pull away and look into his eyes, caressing his cheek.

"Well in that case, I promise I will do everything I can to make you as happy as possible for the rest of our lives." He chuckles and kisses your temple before pulling you back into his chest, both of you drifting off to sleep.

[drabblingdraco]

✬Arranged✬ Draco Malfoy X Reader (Request)

This is a request I received!

"Hello! I would love if you wrote something around reader and draco being forced into an arranged marriage by their parents. They hate each other at first because draco used to bully/insult her in school, they're constantly at each other's thoughts at first but then they begin to not mind each other's company... idk if that makes sense feel free to ask any questions. if you don't mind writing it I would love you see your take on it ❤️ oh and maybe the reader would fit the whole pureblood Slytherin comes from a wealthy family thing too. Something like that..."

I’ve read various imagines with a similar plot, but here’s my take on it! If you’d like a Part 2, let me know! I love this story line

Warning: swearing, slightly mean/bully Draco

Very long like 2k oops

Draco's POV:

I was awoken by the sound of Father walking in to my bedroom. He told me I needed to get up and ready for the day, as the (y/l/n)'s were coming. I ran my fingers through my hair, stressing over the fact I had to see (y/n) again. I couldn't stand being in the same room as her. She made me feel emotions I refused to let out. Although we were arranged to be married, I would never let her in my head. She wasn't getting anywhere near my vulnerability. I looked up at Father as he walked towards my bed, grabbing my chin.

"Son, you know how important this is. She's one of the only good pure bloods your age. Not to mention her great, great grandfather was the founder of Slytherin house. Don't fuck this up, Draco." He spat his last sentence before exiting.

I sighed, getting out of bed. My warm feet adjusted to the cold temperature of the wood floor. I went into my closet and picked out my usual attire: an emerald button up, black slacks and black laced dress shoes. I stared at my reflection in the mirror as I combed my hair back to a suitable placement. After spritzing some cologne on my neck, I saw a silver town car pull up outside the window.

(y/n)'s POV:

As the car came to a stop, I sighed while slouching in my seat. I could see Draco peering out the window pane. I wasn't looking forward to spending another day at the Malfoy's, yet again. I've been coming to the Manor my whole life. I knew the Malfoy's like the back of my hand, except Draco. He repeatedly threw his aggression towards me. Every time we spoke, one of my flaws came up in conversation. He always pointed out the (y/birthmark) on my (y/body part).

"Out the car now darling, time to see your fiancé."

"Mother please stop calling him that."

"Why? He is your betrothed after all." She grinned.

I rolled my eyes. After all these years, I still can't imagine being married to that foul mouth. I wanted to marry someone I loved, like my parents. But all they cared about was the Malfoy’s and keeping their great image in the wizarding world.

I stepped out of the car and mother shouted at me from the other side. "Go ahead inside love, I'll meet you in there." She had a slight smirk across her lips. I was suspicious, but not enough to ask questions.

I make my way up the grand stairs, Narcissa waited for me in the doorway.

"Hello dear! Delighted to see you again." She gave me a hug and a peck on the head.

"Draco will be down in just a minute- DRACO!" She smiled. I internally groaned.

A figure came walking down the spiral staircase. His hair was placed just right, making his piercing grey eyes stand out. His sleeves were cuffed right above his wrists, the green really accentuated his skin tone. I quickly shook myself out of admiration coma.

"Draco." I said with a straight face.

"(y/n).." he replied.

"Draco, why don't you take her to the gardens while your father gets her trunks?"

"Trunks? What do you mean?"

Narcissa looked confuzzled. "Oh dear, don't know you? You're staying at the manor for a short while."

My eyes went wide, "What?"

"WHAT?!" Draco grasped the railing of the stairs, the veins on his hand popping out as he strained against the wood.

"Draco! Behave yourself," Narcissa gritted through her teeth, she turned to me smiling.

"I don't have any clothes," I stammered, trying to make up excuses to avoid my dreadful stay.

"Yes you do!" Mother said, walking through the door.

I turned to face her with stink eyes, "is there a reason you didn't tell me I had to stay here with this twat?!" I motioned to Draco.

"And you didn't tell me this bloody-" Draco shouted at Narcissa, but she quickly stopped him.

"Don't you dare finish that sentence."

There was a brief, awkward moment of silence between the four of us. 

"My love, it's time you got a taste of the married life," she grasped my shoulder shaking me subtly. "After all, you are older now and soon enough, you'll officially be husband and wife."

"But mother! I-"

"No buts! Now I really must be going. I have to meet your father at the council meeting, but enjoy yourself! I packed you enough clothes for a few weeks, so you're all set dear." She kissed me on the cheek as I stood there, dumbfounded.

"Goodbye darling!" She shouted as Lucious shut the door behind her, exiting the manor.

I turned around to face the two Malfoys that stood before me. How could she just dump me here? And for weeks?  It's bad enough she married me off before I could even breathe. There's no way I would be able to last that long here with Draco. I look at both him and Narcissa, he looked enraged and I couldn't blame him.

"Now take a walk in the gardens, get some fresh air." She stated as a command rather than a question.

We both looked at each other with disgust, but we followed her wishes and headed towards the courtyard. We walked in silence for quite awhile. It was a cumbersome stroll, he wouldn't look me in the eyes or even my direction. I shouldn't be surprised, he was always like this, but something was different. He seemed tense, like he was holding something back. I tried to enjoy myself as if he wasn't there, admiring the lilies and pansies scattered perfectly symmetrical. Unfortunately my eyes kept falling back on him. His tapered slacks rested right above his matte dress shoes. The way his shirt grasped his frame. I felt a chill going down my spine. I adjusted my cardigan, wrapping it tightly around my chest. For some reason this got his attention and he whipped his view towards me.

"Don't tell me you're cold?" He scoffed, scrunching his nose.

"Is there a problem with feeling normal human reactions?" I spat.

He laughed, "just find it rather odd you'd wear such a short skirt on a day like this."

I shook my head in anger. It was typical he pointed out something to do with my attire. "It's summer Malfoy..what, would you rather I wear jeans and sweat like a pig?" Looking me up and down, his eyes lingering at the hem of my skirt.

He ignored my words and continued to walk faster, heading back to the manor. I scoffed and continued at my pace, in no rush to go back inside with that jackoff.

I closed the door to the courtyard and locked it. My eyes traveled around the room, I remembered memories from my childhood, when Draco was actually pleasant towards me and didn't act like a dick. We used to play with fake wands and babble made up spells to each other. I snapped out of my thoughts when I saw Narcissa approaching.

"Why don't you come have some tea? I just brewed a pot." I nodded and followed her to the dining room.

I sat down in one of the many chairs seated at the table. A minute later she came back with a kettle and two dark green teacups with silver snakes on them. Typical Slytherins, but I was one to talk. We chatted a bit about how I've been since we last saw one another, even though it was only a mere three weeks ago. Then we diverted to the subject of Hogwarts. She went on about Dumbledore and how Lucious couldn't stand him. At this point, who didn't know about his vendetta against him.

After a few hours of conversing, she said she was tired and was heading to bed.

"You'll stay in Draco's room this evening."

"Um, are you sure? Can't I stay in the guest room?"

"Oh..the guest room is being..remodeled at the moment. Draco knows of the arrangements. I assure you dear, don't worry about about a thing. Sweet dreams." And with that, she left me standing in the dining room.

I clenched my fist together, wanting nothing more than to obliviate myself and forget everything that was happening, but alas, I couldn't go through with it. Like the kind, forced houseguest I was, I took the teacups and kettle back into the kitchen to be cleaned when I ran into Dobby.

"Hello Dobby how are you?"

"Hello Miss (y/n), you're always so worried about Dobby, it warms my heart. Dobby's keeping his feet on the ground. Dobby keeps hearing things from Mr. Draco about you."

"I'm sorry but I thought I just heard you saying Draco's been talking about me.."

"Oh dear, Dobby has said too much! Bad Dobby." He reached for the teacup but I stopped him before he could.

"Don't hurt yourself, it'll only make me sad, and I know you hate to see me that way." I bat my lashes.

"Sorry Miss (y/n)..since I've already said too much...Mr. Draco talks about you nicely. He likes your (y/h/c) hair and the way your nose scrunches when you're laughing. Dobby hears him talk to Mr. Crabbe and Goyle about these things and much more.." He shyly looks away, looking up the stairs towards Draco's room.

"Hey, hey, I won't tell him. (y/n) keeps secrets Dobby tells her." I smiled at him.

"Thank you Miss, Dobby likes you much more than his masters."

"I like you more than them too." I gave him a peck on the head and went up the staircase.

I trailed down the hall towards his room. The halls were dimly lit by small candles on the walls, as well as moving paintings on the walls of their family tree. I arrived outside his bedroom, scared out of my mind to knock, but I brought myself to do so. Shortly after knocking, he opened the door to his bedroom. I stood there admiring his night clothes; a fitted white v-neck tee shirt and boxer shorts.

"Are you just going to stand there like a git and gawk or come in?" He smirked.

"I- Uh- Coming in." I slipped past him and stood there, unsure of my next move.

"It's getting late," he shut the door behind him. "You should put on some more comfortable clothing to sleep in."

"Right..oh, my trunk is downstairs. I should go get-"

"It's right here," he pointed towards it. "I brought it up a little bit ago. Didn't want to risk you breaking a nail, I'd never hear the end of it."

I scoffed, walking towards my case. I unbuckled the clasps and opened it to find clothing that didn't belong to me, or so I thought."

I've bought you some more appropriate dressings for your stay with Draco. Enjoy them, I know he will too.

-Mother

I was taken aback by her note. It's like she's asking me to fuck him, and we're not even married yet. She's already desperate for grandchildren, I thought to myself. I rummaged through my new wardrobe and ogled in shock. Lingerie, bodycon dresses, even shorter skirts. Are mothers supposed to be like this?

I picked the least revealing item I could find to sleep in. It was a silk green nightgown with lace detailing on the chest, lingering a little too low on the chest for my liking..but it was the only thing that didn't expose my entire body. I grabbed my toiletry bag and my feet brought me to the bathroom. I peeled off my current attire and put on a new set of panties along with my nightgown. I brushed my hair up in a ponytail and brushed my teeth. Gathering my belongings, I slowly walked out of the bathroom and locked eyes with Draco. Now he was the one gawking at me.

"I know I'm always being a dick but..you look dashing (y/n), really." He said shyly, looking down at his feet as he sat on the bed.

"Thanks..." I wasn't sure how to respond.

I put my dirty clothes and bag on top of my trunk. I scratched the side of my arm in nervousness, not knowing how the sleeping arrangements were going to work, although I had an idea. There was nothing else to sleep on besides Draco's bed. He stared at me with anticipation as if he was waiting for me to join him.

I proceeded to the opposite side of the bed. I peeled back the sheets on my side, snaking my legs underneath. Draco still sat in his place, shifting a bit, but stayed in his current position. I laid down, facing his direction, closing my eyes. Maybe if I kept them closed long enough, I'd eventually fall into a deep slumber without any further conversing with Draco.

I felt the sheets ruffle as he too laid down, I couldn't tell if he was facing my direction or not, but I ignored it. I adjusted my pillow to a more comfortable position. We both laid there, within the same vicinity, completely silent. After a few moments, I peaked my eyes open ever so slightly to find a pair of silver eyes looking deep into my soul. I shuttered, unaware of the fact he was staring at me. "Sorry," he mumbled. "Couldn't help myself."

"Couldn't help what?" I asked in confusion.

"Having the pleasure of looking at you," he licked his lips.

"I don't think I understand.."

"My god (y/n)...I never took you for dumb."

I raised an eyebrow, "how am I dumb?"

"Because you can't see it," he paused. "You can't see how madly I'm in love with you...and you can't tell me you don't feel the same." He reached for me chin, grasping it ever so slightly.

I didn't dislike his touch. His hands were ice, melting on my warm skin. His thumb caressed my jaw, heading towards my lips.

"I- I will admit..I do have f-feelings for you, I've been suppressing them..but you make it very convincing that you have a..distaste for me. Ever since we were young.."

"I don't think you understand the common thing about us males...we tease the ones we love," he chuckled.

Not knowing what the hell came over me, I forcibly grabbed his face and slammed my hungry lips onto his.

Taglist: @bbeauttyybbx 

[hawksky]

You wake up on your ex's fire escape; wc 2.5k

A/N: I don't really know how to categorize this ? starts as funny, gets into angst with a happy/hopeful ending. I might write this again for another character and make it 0 angst but using Megumi just let this get away from me. Thank you @sixeyesgojo for reading through my first draft, it helped me edit a lot since 😘. Although I have not looked over the ending since I wrote it, I'm done working on this fic so sorry if it falls flat.

CW: Mentions of excessive alcohol consumption.

Suggested listening: song 1 and song 2 you can pick just one to cater your experience (they are VERY different vibes) or switch over around the shampoo situation.

Objectively, there were good ways to wake up. In the arms of a beautiful person, with cold sheets and a warm body, or with the scent of your favourite breakfast wafting through the air. No disrespect to mornings at all, there were good ways to wake up, you were mature enough to recognize this.

A perplexingly rough, wet, and warm sensation gliding across your cheek, while last night’s jeans dug into your waist, and there was a pounding in your head? It was fairly safe to say this was not a good way to wake up.

It spoke volumes for how out of it you were that it was only just beginning to register in your brain that you weren’t at home, you were not even on a bed, and that the continued licks across your face were the work of animal far too large to be one of your friends cats.

“Fucking hell you’re supposed to be intimidating” you hear a voice grumble without much heat behind it.

As you forced your eyes open you are met with an excited dog tapping its paws in excitement of your presence, and the man behind the half hearted grumble. His gaze was unmistakably familiar, but his expression could not be more foreign to you.

“uhm, Hi” you croaked out while plastering a wide grin in hopes he wouldn’t murder you.

His eyebrow raised on instinct in response. You knew he was waiting for you to explain what you were doing, but the reality was you didn’t have an answer.

“I wish I could explain, but honestly I’m not sure what happened – last thing I remember was being bought another shot… Wait, where am I exactly?” You were desperately hoping you came off as charming instead of pathetic given the circumstances.

“How out of it are you?” he scrunched his face in confusion as he muttered to himself. “You’re on my fire escape, it’s in Ikebukuro? Tokyo… Japan, in case you needed the reminder”

It felt infantilizing to have him scold you like this, which only made this next part all the more difficult. You were not supposed to be Ikebukuro. You were not supposed to be in Tokyo. You were supposed to be in Yokohama. What was even more concerning is that you were definitely not supposed to be on your old fire escape, the one connected to the apartment your ex still lived in.

As you painstakingly pushed yourself upright, a warm weight laid on your upper thigh, a furry face nuzzling into your stomach – you wondered if she was aware of tension between you and her owner. You scratched behind her ears, letting Jade know she was in fact a good girl despite the earlier reprimand from her owner.

As much as you’d love to spend the day sitting on a fire escape petting your ex’s dog, you had to go home, you just need to call –

Your phone. Where was your phone? You felt around frantically for your phone, only to come up with nothing. A light sense of panic bubbles in the pit of your stomach, only to be swiftly interrupted.

“it’s already charging, I plugged it in last night, you dropped in inches away from falling down”

So, he was still watching you despite having returned inside long ago. It was difficult for you to parse this sort of gesture, how caring could it be to plug someone’s phone in when you still left them to sleep outside? Maybe he was just doing everything he could to get rid of you. It was too much to try and analyze for someone who blacked out and woke up in a different city.

“Why did you come here?” you hear him bite out from inside. It sounds harsh, but it feels like his stange way of inviting you inside.

“I don’t know what you’ve picked up from these circumstances, but not knowing is kind of a part of the problem. Believe me, there’s no amount of conscious desperation that would leaf me to sleeping on a fire escape, even yours”

You glanced around the apartment to avoid his void expression; it was spotless. But it was even harder noticing, the turned over picture frames, your favourite quilt still on the back of the couch – remnants of the past living in the present.

This tension only increased as a mug of freshly brewed green tea was placed in front of you. How thoughtful to remember you hated coffee, to realize your throat was probably killing you – you would have tasted a creeping bitterness from all these emotions, if it wasn’t overpowered by what was the distinct taste of your favourite brand that had to be special ordered.

He had always complained, there were plenty of good options for tea at the grocery store, why wasn’t that enough for you? It was so much extra effort to special order from a tea shop across town, the only place that you were able to charm the owner into ordering for you.

“How are you still so fucking awful at taking care of yourself?” he spat the words out like an insult, it was jarring honestly. Despite the time away from each other, it was no less strange to feel his detachment.

He moved towards the door beckoning Jade to follow. “There’s a towel and change of clothes in the bathroom, you should probably take a shower. If I’m not back by the time you leave, just lock up before you go, I haven’t moved the spare key.” Without looking back or waiting for a response he left.

You were starting to recognize your growing frustration – you had known him how long? Dated and lived together for a not-insignificant amount of time? Yet here you were, no idea how to interpret this strange morning, much less his last comment. Did he want you to be here when he returned? Were you supposed to leave and act like you had never been there? Could he genuinely be as indifferent as he wanted you to believe? It pissed you that your feelings were probably plain on your face.

You searched for your phone, finding it on what used to be your side of the couch. It felt ridiculous to think you ever had a side of the couch, but you were both creatures of habit and slowly without even thinking you both made your own little sanctuary mere metres away from each other.

You awoke your phone, expecting a flood of texts and phone calls from your friends, only to find nothing. Not a single check in from anyone. You open the group chat and furiously tap out a message.

<Hey assholes who let me go home on my own last night? Anyways good job I blacked out and I’m on Fushiguro’s fire escape! You are all absolutely useless to me I swear to god.>

Your phone vibrates rapidly as you place it down but you’re not in the mood to field their questions.

You’re tempted to leave now, just to get it over with, go home and crawl into bed and forget any of this ever happened. But, you felt gross, it was late enough in the morning that you could run into someone you knew, and you missed the water pressure here.

As you got ready for your shower you surveyed your options. You refused to smell like him, but the only other bottle in the shower was doggy shampoo. Surely dog’s fur and human hair weren’t so different right? Jade did have a beautiful coat, very soft and shiny… You reprimanded yourself for the ridiculous idea, but the point remained, there had to be something else for you to use.

Your brain, far more alert than it was 30 minutes ago, thought of all the things he hadn’t changed, all the fixtures still in place. You had always kept an extra set of all your supplies under the sink. By the grace of all that is good on this cruel cruel earth, they were there, in all their dusty glory, your prized hygiene products sat unmoved under the sink. It would have been sick and twisted to have to leave your ex-boyfriend’s apartment smelling exactly like him, left to spend the rest of the day agonizing over whether you should take another shower.

As you entered the shower you wondered more. He had to have noticed the softness in your eyes, the faint smile you wore just having an ounce of his attention again, the way ti widened at every caring gesture, and falling with every biting remark.

Yes, it hurt every day missing him. Yes, it would hurt if he hated you. But none of that compared to the feeling of not knowing. What were you supposed to do with all these residual feelings that have yet to go away? Were they worth the suffocation or should you strip them away?

You were proud of yourself, all these reminders of what you once had, in a place you once loved, and you had yet to break down, not even shedding a tear. If you weren’t wrapping yourself in a towel, you would’ve given yourself a pat on the back. This victory was short lived, everyone’s strength has its limits and you had taken yours too far past it already. But then you saw it, something you were completely unprepared for.

Laid neatly on top the closed laundry basket was THE outfit. It was nothing special to anyone else, just a grey sweater and loose joggers, but how many days had you spent alone breathing in his scent for comfort while he was gone? How many hard days at work had you reaching for these exact pieces as if they were the cure to all your problems?

Unable to support your own weight anymore, you fell to the tiled floor, tears spilling out, as your already sore throat grew even more hoarse – you felt like everything was collapsing around you. You weren’t expecting to see him, and you certainly weren’t expecting to need him in so many little ways. It was easy to forget how easily he weaves himself into your life, encroaching on everything you do.

The world disappeared behind each shallow breath, and an endless stream of tears you couldn’t control. Your fingers scratch against your forearms repeatedly, trying to ground yourself in some reality you could no longer grasp. It is so exhausting trying to be over him, going through these cycles of strong emotions, over and over and over again.

Suddenly, for the second time in as few hours, you felt an overwhelming weight encompass your body.

Of course, his stupid fucking perfect dog would still know how to bring you out of a panic attack like he had spent so much time training when you started dating. You clutched to Jade as your breathing slowed, but it did nothing to stop your sobs, if anything it was just another painful reminder of everything you let go.

“Uhhh….” Megumi was frozen at the door, for the first time today he didn’t know what to do. His indifferent façade dropped as he observed the scene on his bathroom floor.

There’s nothing left to lose, not for a moment that he has seen this morning have you possessed more than an ounce of dignity, “So that’s it? You don’t know what to do either? You know it’s been a whole fucking year and I still haven’t figured out how to live without you. A whole year and I’m still a mess. I can’t survive being reminded of us, look at me. And yet every attempt to get over you was a knife twisting because they’ll never be you. Now I’m here and I get to witness the wonderful Megumi Fushiguro, unaffected, and you… you have it all together.” You trail off, giving to him everything left in you.

You weren’t expecting the confused and indignant expression on his face, “You think this is having it together?” His voice lightly raising with each word “This place might as well be a sealed shrine to you and our relationship. I haven’t thrown a single thing out, moved any furniture, bought anything new – the only thing that’s ‘new’ is your stupid tea I keep buying even though I hate it, and for fucks sake y/n I should’ve moved out. Every part of me that looks like I have it together is just my version of a mess.” He brushes a stray strand out of your face, his own face moving far too close for this to be purely platonic anymore “y/n I’m no better off than you are, I’ve just kept everyone from looking”.

“So what are we supposed to do with all this?” Your eyes shining, naïve hope seeping through your defenses at the confirmation that he couldn’t live without you either.

“We could try again” Somehow, it wasn’t quite what you needed to hear. “I, am going to get dressed, and then we’ll talk, I’ll meet you in the kitchen.” He nodded lightly, pulling himself up and exiting with Jade on his heels.

Dressed in the clothes you thought would burn your skin to even touch let alone wear, you let out a long sigh as you sit on at the breakfast nook. “Look, Megumi, I need to know if you’ve worked through it, any of it? I can’t, I can’t wait another three years for you to tell me you can’t say the words I love you, that you can’t commit to more than a yearly rental, I can’t just have you here I need more security than that”

He pursed his lips, unsure of what he could say to that, how he could make sure you didn’t leave again.

“Megumi, I don’t need you to say it to me today, I don’t need you to commit to anything today, but I have to know you’ve tried that I can’t keep waiting for you”

“I… Just give me a minute, please” his voice weak pleading with you. You waited, knowing better than to rush him, laying a hand on top of his assuring him you weren’t going to run out the door.

“y/n, I’m supposed to be honest and vulnerable, I’m supposed to tell myself that people won’t abandon me just because I give them access to who I really am. I want to tell you I love you, because there’s no other explanation for feeling this way. For feeling like your eyes outshine the stars, that your mind is more brilliant than the sun. I’ve tortured myself for a year with the idea of you meeting someone who could give you everything I couldn’t, and selfishly I prayed they were awful, I wished you were miserable so I pretend the truth wasn’t real that I was not enough for you, that I couldn’t give you what you needed. I’ve never seen a loving relationship, certainly not for long enough to form memories, but I look at you and I can’t imagine anything else”

Your thumb reaches to brush away the stray tear sliding down his face as he spoke to you. Manoeuvring yourself around to be on the same side of the nook as him, you pull him into you, letting him bury his head into the crook of your neck. You placed a gentle kiss into his hair before whispered into his ear “You were always enough, I just needed you to know it too.”

not not a tag list: @satosuguslut @sandyscastle