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steve0discusses · 4 years ago

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S5 Ep6: Joey Wheeler is on Fire, Yet Again

Came down with a little sickness-not the biggie, just a little sly guy. But I took some meds, I’m a little floaty, I’ve only been listening to baroque music all morning for some reason? And I hate baroque music usually? But I’ll leave it to bro to tell me if this is fluid enough.

Just so you know, these caps were kind of a hot mess for a while and some of them read like that Garfield in of hot eat the food comic until...today. So pls don’t judge me, Judge my damn DMV where no one was following Covid regulations because I’m pretty sure that’s where I got this damn cold.

We start off with Roland getting more attention than he ever has in his entire life. Like honestly, I don’t know what Roland’s job really is...but he’s got a very diverse set of very useless skills. One of which, is knowing how to announce sports games that aren’t really a sport, while those games he’s announcing slowly fall into chaos.

Anyway, Roland’s taking so long cherishing his sweet time before everything goes to hell, that he’s boring Joey, who’s kinda turned into a ball of stress in the waiting room.

A lot of this episode is us watching them watching Joey having a break down moment by moment, TBH.

(read more under the cut)

Yugi telling Joey to study his cards and straight up--what?

Like at this point they know what’s on the cards, right? Like there comes a point where even Yugioh cards have a finite amount of words and I’m just going to assume that like...Joey probably knows them all in his own deck, right?

(bro note: they have no limit on what they will put on a card)

Then again, maybe Yugi doesn’t know what “study” means?

Also, appreciate how some artist crosshatched the hell on Joey’s nose there and I zoomed out and ruined it.

Now for some reason every duelist is hanging out in the duel lodge, including our current arch-villain guy who’s brought a book. I want to know what book this guy even reads so no one could suspect he’s actually a hacker who uses computers. He’s reading romance, right? And I don’t think he’d even be into Twilight, I think he’s straight up into hard core Mom romance like a lame ass Nicholas Sparks over there reading “Dear John” for the millionth time because he is completely un-phased by anything else happening in this room.

Joey, our hero, just out there being an asshole for no reason.

After Tea is pushed into a locker or something screaming about her need for female friends (which she screamed in earshot of Rebecca again, who I figured was on friends terms with her after last episode...but I guess not) Leon hops up to remind us that we should be caring about the fact that his character exists.

And like, I love Leon’s hair color--that’s a good choice, and legit that is the color I tried to dye my hair at the beginning of the epidemic (it didn’t work PS, my hair cannot take dye for the life of it) but also like...he just kinda feels like a weak Rebecca as far as characters go. He’s young, he’s good at cards...I think he goes to a private school? That’s all I can think of about Leon.

He mostly just reminds us that the big prize of this tourney is to duel Yugi, who anyone could have dueled at any point even without the tournament.

On the way out of the...duel room? lounge? Area? Joey decides to like...make peace with Zigfried, and I gotta tell you, I kinda have to side with Zigfried, because Joey spent the last ten minutes being a freak in the dressing room/lounge/bathroom and at one point looked like he was going to hold the entire locker room in a stranglehold.

I would also want some space from Joey Wheeler, is what I’m saying.

After insulting Joey’s style (which honestly, Joey...has a style? He pops his collar, that’s his entire style.) Zigfried assures us that Joey’s gonna lose and like...

...probably, right? Just looking at the plausible direction this season will go.

Anyway, Joey is such a mess (which is the theme of the episode, that Joey needs to learn to chill in order to win at card games) that Rebecca is like “I understand if all of you leave me to go help our poor baby Joey.” And no one felt bad for her.

Mokuba comes over to tell everyone all of the Kaiba family secrets because Mokuba has no filter.

Seto has devoted himself to staring at a computer screen for the rest of this episode. I guess he’ll put their names into Google, realize that social media hasn’t been invented yet, and then just lie his head down on the desk and take a power nap until the tournament is over. Much like I did after taking Dayquil this afternoon.

I like how Seto dressed for success and then locked himself in the server room for most of this arc so far. Maybe he’s just...really tired, I dunno. I don’t really blame the guy, he’s had a hard time.

And then Yugi was like “DAMN IT MOKUBA, JUST ONCE CAN YOU NOT INVITE THE ILLUMINATI???”

And we had a weird scene where Yugi just started talking to the ghost and it was while he was talking to everyone else, and the show didn’t treat it like that’s a weird thing to do...but it was a weird thing to do.

This show does that sometimes, where I guess they imply that Yugi’s Pharaoh conversations are split second conversations but...they’re not, right?

Also this chick ain’t gone yet, and Mokuba is just failing at his entire job for not zeroing in on vibes coming off this chick like stinky cheeseman.

So listen.

Did the Kaibas make like 3 types of Blue Eyes Caboose to one up Noah? Because Noah made one choo choo dragon, and then Mokuba and Seto were like “how dare” and then made sure that everyone ride every single version of the blue eyes caboose just to see how proud of them they were.

How many months of troubleshooting was the train? Like how long in development did Seto and Mokuba spend on these? A lot right? Like most of the time?

I did not check the subs to see if Roland said Jumping or Champion but I like to believe that Roland thought it was a cool new name he gave him.

Then these guys all showed up.

Hey so...can we talk seating arrangements?

Tea decided not to sit next to Yugi after complaining about not spending time with him for like how many episodes? Or was it too awkward to sit on top of what was probably Pharaoh?

Or did Mokuba go like “please, Tea, I cannot sit next to the others because I’m pretty sure one is a mole that is about to go cray” and was Tea like “Good, I need female friends, these ones are driving me crazy!” and then was Mokuba like peering desperately over the edge of his self made dragon train prison realizing he has to listen to Tea complain about boys for the rest of his ride across molten lava?

Headcanons abound about this weird seating arrangement that the animators drew for the reasons they did...but reasons I cannot fully understand. That and the Dayquil is making me overfixate on random stuff.

And also, Tea is kind of the Kaiba’s security’s understudy. Just there to always protect Mokuba with her ass because she’s the strongest woman alive.

PS I missed the tumblr wars because at the time I was trying to like...run a proper business on blogger. When Blogger died and I jumped over here it was like a weird ruin where everyone was like “tumblr is the most toxic place alive” and...I’ve had a really nice time here, actually. Completely missed that civil war period and I have no regrets.

Now I was there for the Petz wars (warz, I guess) where people were very militant about Petz abuse (abuze?) where apparently people were using the spray bottle on their catz too much and people were very, very upset about it to the point that they were like campaigning about it on their angelfire websites with the most bizarre grassroots campaigns that I still recall, to this day because they were like...well they looked like this:

PLAPA. Not only am I 100% positive that only this one guy ever called this movement PLAPA, but I’m 100% positive that not only are Catz not real people, but also this wasn’t actually happening and we never had any proof that it was. Either way, if people knew or suspected that you hadn’t deleted the spray bottle from your game (which at the time I had no idea how to do because I was a wee child) they would basically assume you were on a one way road to being a mass murderer in real life.

In real life we were 7 years old so like...thanks?

But that’s the closest I got to toxicity and at the time I was too young to make an email account and actually converse with these people. I was just there to download their Petz hexes, and I already made a post about how wonderful and incredible Petz Hexing was.

And y’all, I heard, just now after a little deep dive into the Petz Abuse debacle (which yes, is on the wiki), that apparently, like gardening, Petz Hexing came back in a big way during the epidemic--and I have found an active Petz forum in this the year 2021. The only problem is that I no longer remember how to use old timey forums...and I think I’m locked out of seeing most of these threads (and like this forum is so old I think I have to send them a letter in the physical mail to apply). But, I’m pretty sure they’re hosting a picture contest for who’s dogz poses the best. And I’m pretty sure someone created a hexxed Pickle Rick. Or it’s a photoshop that was made to look like a hexxed Pickle Rick.

Dammit why did it have to be Pickle Rick? That’s not worth re-installing Petz and getting it to run on Windows 10...

Guys is this the Dayquil? Is this really happening? I feel like I’m losing my mind for so many reasons...

Anyway, speaking about useless hexing it’s about time that our villain did something that was actually dangerous, so Zigfried decided to install a new virus that does more than turn off the lights. (it still turns off lights)

the Spreadsheet Virus!

Confounded by the spreadsheet software, it...um...it does this:

Straight up how does Excel make a volcano erupt? Is that why I have to pay for Microsoft office now?

All this because Joey made fun of Zigfried’s naturally pink hair? Which is the most normal hair on this series outside of like...Tristan?

Hey guys...Joey’s fine, right? Like how many times has Joey been on fire? And once in an iron cage next to like...a Fire Golem?

Joey’s fine.

MAN I miss Fire Golem. He had a good mug.

And then we just kinda watch chaos go across the park, chaos that includes: Too many ghosts in the haunted mansion (which honestly--you’ll get your money’s worth, sounds great!), the Ferris wheel goes kinda fast and thus might accidentally be fun, the lights turn off at some concert stage that only had 2 people on it (so it might just be motion detector lights and not even a virus), and um...literal fire and magma are going to set Joey Wheeler on fire.

Just...one of these events does not seem like the others. In fact most of these things sound like good improvements to the park and they should just hire Zigfried at this point.

Roland puts down his microphone and jogs across the stage, about a mile through the audience bleachers, and into the staff lounge, to go and bother Seto Kaiba, who is in a room that has a hi-def classical painting copy-pasted on the wall and I can’t look away from it.

I almost did a Google search on this painting but then thought better about it. There’s like...a billion classical paintings that look exactly like this, and they wouldn’t use like a Monet, they would have to do something that’s harder to catch to avoid copyright issues (because yes, even old ass paintings have copyright issues, but no one tell NFT’s which are going to be so freakin screwed and was such a bad idea, that I can’t even start).

Anyway, I have no idea who it is and it is legitimately driving me up a wall, but I’m on too much meds to do the effort of putting it in a reverse google image search.

Plus, a reverse google image search would only pull up Seto Kaiba.

So Kaiba takes us on a little flashback to his weird ass past, a weird ass past that just...doesn’t follow any of the established timelines, but I assume was shortly after adoption but before Seto got into a phase where he wore his school outfit everywhere and tried to shove his MMO off onto his Dad as a business model.

Seto is like 8 for some reason. I don’t know why, they kinda drew him younger this season anyway, like maybe they got a lot of fan mail and realized “Hey I think we made the 16 yo boy too sexy?” And they just toned Seto the hell down. That, and it’s a different animation team, and maybe they looked at Seto’s character design and were like “we don’t get paid enough to draw this well.” So...since Seto actually looks like a teen again, I guess his 12 year old self has to look like he’s in Elementary school.

Also, I only recognized this, because at some point in S3 as I was roasting Noah Kaiba’s weird fashion:

I remember distinctly roasting that little bow tie. I don’t remember when I wrote it, I think there was a version of this outfit that was in color...but I don’t remember where.

Anyway, it’s not the same jacket...but man that’s kind of awkward, ya? Like the maid who dressed Mokuba deffo got fired?

He um.

Turned the lights off a little bit.

Guys this villain is like...

...why does he think lights are scary? Like look at little Seto here. The boy is already bored. Seto duels on the edges of cliffs...he doesn’t care about the freakin dark.

We had a guy who killed everyone on the planet last season, and this season we have a little fashion gremlin standing in the corner and flicking the light switch going “wooooo you never catch me!” and it’s like...

...I’m starting to think this guy isn’t a witch.

Like we’re at Episode 6, there’s still time for this guy to be a witch...but I really am starting to think this guy is just...straight up not a witch. It’s everything Seto wanted, a rival who isn’t a freakin magic person...and sets Joey only fake on fire instead literally on fire like last time...

and Seto is just completely unhinged by it.

Anyway, I’m off to go drink a bowl of soup and pass out. If you’re new here, this is a link to read these in chrono order.

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono

#yugioh #yu gi oh #ygo #S5 #Ep6 #Yugi Muto #Seto Kaiba #Joey Wheeler #Tea Gardner #Tristan Taylor #Mokuba Kaiba #zigfried von schroeder #rebecca hawkins #I talked about catz again #leon #but not the kings of leon guy #I mean he could be

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argumentl · 4 years ago

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The Freedom of Expression Radio version - Live 2 hour Special #2, Dec 2015

Kaoru starts by saying the previous day's #1 Live special will be hard to beat, as it went better than expected. The show finished at 3am, but he was awake till 6am after the excitiment of the show. He is joined by Joe and Tasai. They will do a 'Top 6 news stories of 2015' this time (different stories from the previous day).

Topics for #2 as they come up..

6. The company Nikkatsu who made a number of erotic movies ('roman poruno' in Japanese) between 1971-1988, are planning to re-vive production of such movies after 28 years. Tasai asks Kaoru, 'What do you imagine when you hear the term 'roman poruno'? Kaoru says, they have an old image. Tasai says these movies are apparently highly rated overseas, as they show the passion between man and woman very well, but they are not so highly rated in Japan. Joe likes such movies and in particular is fond of Oshima Nagisa's Ai no corridor.

5. The personal pension data of 1250000 people was leaked after a virus/hacker got into the pension office's computers, and the leak wasn't announced until 3 weeks after it happened. Kaoru finds it scary how much personal data could be recorded about people. Eg. If you bought erotic movies online, would your shopping history be tracked and recorded etc.

- Suggested 2015 news by listeners

*The Japanese womens' pro wrestling match between Yoshiko and Yasukawa, which resulted in Yasukawa being beated so badly she ended up with a fractured skull.

* The predicted decline in live venues for 2016.

*The Haagen Dazs flavour 'Hana mochi', selling out super fast.

*The publication of Kaoru's book Dokugen.

*The start of this radio show.

*Comedian Naoki Matayoshi winning the Akutagawa prize for his novel 'Hibana'.

-Next they pick up on the Tokyo Olympics logo plagiarism issue, which was briefly mentioned in the previous show. Part of the problem may have been that the logo didn't meet the expectations of the public. They lament the trend of trying to find something to compare every new piece of work to.

4. The news that Edward Snowden's name had been listed as within the White House by someone on Google Maps. Kaoru wonders if people are doing this type of thing just to show off their hacking skills. They also talk about how google maps can be scary as anyone can see your house etc.

- Kami says he gets a salary/ does part time work. Kami is also drinking red bull, which prompts Kaoru to read out more emails referring to suggested news from listeners:

- A case of death by caffine poisoning from drinking red bull.

-7/11 has opened its first branch in Tottori prefecture.

-Joe brings up the Mt.Gox bitcoin situation, where the whole thing was suddenly stopped and the website wiped.

- Kaoru asks listeners to send in pictures of what they imagine Kami looks like.

- The news that various shrines across Japan had been vandalised with oil by a man belonging to a Korean Christian group. The man suspected of doing it had been arrested.

- The news of the school girl murder in Sasebo, Nagasaki, where a 15 year old girl had been murdered by a fellow 15 year old girl.

- The increase in consumption tax.

3. The government figure of 250 billion yen for a new Olympic stadium and the controversy surrounding it, including the influence of former PM Mori. Also how more people engage in protest demos than they used to. They also stress the importance of voting in elections to see real political change.

2. News that the movie 'Moebius' by director Kim Ki-duk has run into trouble with child porn laws with its Japanese release. Kaoru describes the plot of the movie, and the cause of the trouble. It involves a mother castrating her own son, and his father subsequently having his own penis removed, to have it transplanted to his son, while searching for other ways to achieve orgasm to teach him. But this isn't what got the movie into trouble in Japan. The scene causing the trouble depicts the son touching his mother's breasts. So director Kim Ki-duk cut the scene. Kaoru thinks this is drastic, but now wants to watch the movie. As he had plenty of experience with censorship of his own work, he throws his support behind fellow artists to be able to create what they want.

-Listeners send in their artistic impressions of Kami and Kaoru chooses his fave.

1. Tasai's news that he saw a UFO in Mexico while visiting there to report on an Idol event. Kaoru thinks the whole thing is pretty interesting, but isnt sure about the existence of UFOs himself.

He finishes by talking about how he feels after doing these live radio shows, ticket issues with his talk event due in Jan 2016, and the upcoming Budokan shows.

Songs - Dir en grey/Sustain the untruth, Sting/Soul Cake, Dir en grey/Akuro no oka K.N.Y. mix, Vision of Disorder/Be up on it, Dir en grey/Kasumi, Sigur Rós/Hoppípolla, Dir en grey/Embryo.

#the freedom of expression #dir en grey

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nova-shadowtail · 5 years ago

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The World Burns And Someone Gets Hurt (A Mystic Messenger Fic)

I know this isn’t marvel and that’s what i mainly do on this account but i got inspiration from 2 songs and had to write this. Stuff might be off because I only know what I’ve read online cause I haven’t done every route and stuff might be ooc but oH WELL

These are the songs I was inspired by:

https://youtu.be/3rU2Xf1LK-g

https://youtu.be/7hBy11aK-qw

I used the song lyrics for the dialogue I’m sorry (I also changed some lyrics to better fit this)

I also feel the need to put a trigger warning because this is DARK AF AND THERE’S A LOT OF DEATH I’M SORRY

Rika leaned on the desk as she glared at herself in the mirror. She hated MC. Hated how she took over her position. Hated how she stole V from her. Hated how everyone suddenly loved MC and no one ever paid any attention to her anymore.

“My name is Rika Kim,” She spoke to herself, “And I am a massive deal.”

She looked across her desk at all the destroyed pictures of MC. Some had been ripped so much you couldn’t tell what the picture originally looked like. Some were just ripped in half. Some of them she had written all over with a marker.

She picked up one of the only photos that weren’t ruined and held it up. I was a picture of you and everyone in the RFA, excluding Rika, at a restaurant smiling and laughing. You were holding the camera but you weren’t looking at it. Instead you were looking towards V, who was spreading frosting on Jumin’s face. You had pure love in your eyes and Rika hated it.

“I will grind you to sand beneath my Louboutin heel,” She said, taking her other hand and ripping the photo in half.

Rika turned around and looked at the walls. All were covered in more ruined pictures of you. Words were written everywhere. “Husband stealer” “Liar” “Demon” “Ugly bitch” “Slut” “Stupid” and many more.

“This is what I get for helping,” Rika glared at the picture she just tore up and dropped it, watching it fall onto the floor, “Helping someone worthless fit in”

She walked across the apartment. More pictures were pasted all over the walls, “MC, enjoy your temporary win.”

She picked up her phone and opened the RFA app, no one knew she still had it, or that she could get in. She had found a way to hack it so she could watch the chatrooms without it saying she was in them. So she watched as you, V, and Jaehee chatted. Rika swore and closed the app.

She had to ruin you. Force you out of the RFA. Make them all hate you. She had to torture you. But how? She glanced back at the app and got an idea.

“My name is Rika Kim,” She said, opening an editing app and getting to work.

She took a screenshot of a conversation and edited it to make it look like you were talking shit about everyone else.

“Saeran is an evil bitch,” She said, writing “I’m so terrified of him. He always has a murderous look in his eye and I’m just waiting for the day he’s going to snap and kill one of us.” on one of your text bubbles.

She smiled as she kept editing, “Hey MC, how do you like me now?”

After a few hours of perfecting everything, she quickly saved them to her phone and opened messages. She decided against sending the screenshots in the app because no one knew she still had it. So instead she sent them anonymously.

“I wanna watch the world burn,” She sent Saerans, “I got the gasoline,” She sent Saeyoungs.

“I wanna watch the world burn,” She sent Zens, “And everyone gets mean,” She sent Jumins and Jaehees.

She quickly sent Yoosungs and Vs, not even hesitating even though she knew it would hurt them. She sat back and watched as they all responded, everyone, asked who you were. You couldn’t give that away though, so you just sent them all the screenshots and waited. After they all saw every screenshot, they stopped responding.

“MC, time to watch your back,” A new chatroom opened, “MC, time to turn and cough.”

The chatroom was titled: How could you do this? Rika beamed when she opened it and watched everyone start screaming at you. They were all really hurt, some even said they were heartbroken or crying, but she couldn’t care less.

“You took me down, but you didn’t finish me off.”

Zen has entered the chatroom

Jumin has entered the chatroom

707 has entered the chatroom

Saeran has entered the chatroom

Jaehee has entered the chatroom

Yoosung has entered the chatroom

V has entered the chatroom

Zen: IS THIS REAL

Yoosung: Looks like it

Jaehee: Why would she say that about us….MC, did you really say these things?

Zen: Of course she did! They’re screenshots!

Jumin: I agree with Zen. It seems she did indeed say these things.

707: Who was she even talking to?

Yoosung: They should’ve told us as soon as she said something bad about us.

MC has entered the chatroom

MC: What’s going on? Why is everyone here?

Jumin: Why would you say that about us?

707: We trusted you, MC. How could you?

Zen: What did we ever do to you?

MC: What are you guys talking about?

Jaehee: “Where do I start with her? Her whole personality is just work. All she does is follow Jumin around and do whatever he wants. She’s like his servant.”

Zen: “He’s such a narcissist. The only reason he’s in the position he is now is because of his good looks and he knows it. He always brags about it.”

Yoosung: “He’s just a child. A stupid child. All he does is sit around and play games all day. He shouldn’t even be in the RFA”

707: “He’s not even that great. Everyone acts like he’s such a hero and a genius because he’s a hacker but he’s actually really stupid. Not to mention he’s not even funny.”

Jumin: “He’s just a heartless, wealthy, billionaire who doesn’t care about anyone other than himself”

Saeran: “I’m so terrified of him. He always has a murderous look in his eye and I’m just waiting for the day he’s going to snap and kill one of us.”

V: “He’s just a stupid, blind, photographer. He’s not even that special. He’s the worst out of all of them.”

MC: I didn’t say those things! I would never say that about you guys. I love all of you!

Zen sent 7 images

V: There are screenshots, MC. You can’t pretend they aren’t real.

MC: They’re fake! I didn’t say those things!

Jumin: MC, I’m sorry. But I don’t believe those screenshots are fake.

MC: I would NEVER say those things about you guys because they aren’t true. You guys are my family. I would never talk shit about you guys.

707: MC…

MC: Saeyoung can check if they’re real or not. Can’t you Saeyoung?

707: I-

Saeran: Do you really think I’m evil? Are you really scared of me?

MC: Of course not, Saeran

MC: You know what? I know who’s behind this. I’ll fix this, don’t worry.

MC has left the chatroom

Rika beamed. They hated her now. She was going to be forced to leave. The conversation quickly ended and everyone left. She shut her phone off and went back to the desk. She picked up a marker and wrote MC on one side of the mirror and Rika on the other side.

“MC might have one the battle,” She put a mark under her name, “but I will win the war.”

+++

You knew Rika was behind this. You would never say those things about them and they should know that. They have no reason not to believe you. Saeyoung should’ve checked to see if they were real before accusing her.

You had to do something about this. So, you grabbed a knife, just in case, and took a cab to the one place you knew she would be.

The Mint Eye building was abandoned after Rika was sent away, but the doors were still unlocked and occasionally people snuck in so snoop around. A few weeks after everything that happened, Saeyoung and Saeran went in to clear everything classified out so no one would find it.

The cab could only go as far as the main road, so you had to walk the rest of the way. You thanked the driver and paid him before taking a deep breath and starting your walk towards the building.

The sun was setting by the time you reached the door and you didn’t hesitate to go in. You walked down a hallway and back to the main room, where the throne still sat. You weren’t surprised to see Rika sitting on the throne.

“You did this didn’t you?” You asked, glaring at her.

She didn’t look at you but she nodded, “This is just the first step in my plan.”

You scoffed, “What plan? Do you want your role as party organizer back? I would’ve given it back if you had asked.”

Rika shook her head and you rolled your eyes, “You want me to leave the RFA don’t you? You want me to leave cause you’re jealous I got close with everyone and me and V are really close now. Is that it?”

She glared at you when you mentioned V, “He isn’t yours. He’s my fiance.”

Your jaw dropped, “You’re the reason he went blind. You fucking attacked him and then stabbed him, Rika. You hurt him. He didn’t deserve that. He’s too good for you,” you practically screamed.

Rika stood up and walked towards you, “He loves me.”

“You don’t deserve him.”

“And yet he’s still mine.”

“You haven’t seen him in years, Rika. What makes you think he still loves you?”

“I know him. He still loves me.”

You rolled your eyes, “Is this really what it’s about? You’re mad cause I hang with V?”

She laughed, “Oh, it’s way bigger than that MC. You see, everything was so perfect before you came along.”

Now it was your turn to laugh, “You’re the one who brought me to your old apartment and had me join the RFA.”

“That may be true, but I expected everything to go back to normal once I returned. And it didn’t. You took everything from me. So now I have to take everything from you.”

“What do you mean?” You said.

Rika looked at you and motioned for you to follow her. You took a step forward and felt something prick your arm but you assumed it was just a bug bite and shrugged it off, continuing to follow her.

She led you to a hallway with 6 doors. She stopped at the entrance of the hallway and turned to a desk that was tucked away in the corner, “Yes I look perfect. Ice Queen that’s what you see.”

You furrowed your brows and looked around at the pictures lining the walls. The pictures of you, torn up and ruined.

“What…?” You asked, but she ignored you.

“It’s what they all expect from me. But it’s all a show.” She turned to you.

“Face it, you used me.” She spoke bitterly.

You shook your head, “I didn’t-”

“You saw the RFA, and saw a family. But did you know?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Was I a game to you?”

“Of course not-”

“Was I a way to be cool?”

No. Rika-”

“I truely cared,” She brushed passed you and admired the wall behind you, covered in your pictures.

“I know you did Rika,” You followed her and stood behind her.

“Was I the fool?” She asked, looking over her shoulder.

“No, Rika.” You said, grabbing her arm.

She shook off your grip and grabbed your wrist, leading you to the first room. She slowly opened the door, “It’s fine for you.”

You walked into the room, confused before your eyes landed upon Saeran. He was tied to a chair with a cloth around his mouth like a gag. He glared at you as soon as he saw you.

You were about to rush forward and help him or hurt Rika before she could hurt him, but as soon as the thought crossed your mind it was like a mental barrier stopping you. You felt like you didn’t have control of your body anymore and you were just watching the events through a screen.

“It’s fine to flirt,” Rika said, walking around you and picking up a glass full of blue liquid from a shelf nearby.

Your eyes widened as she came behind Saeran and took his gag off, pressing the bottle to his lips, “It’s fine….until someone gets hurt”

The blue liquid flowed into Saeran’s mouth and he shut his eyes as he drank it. Instantly choking when he swallowed it. Rika took the bottle away from his lips and you sobbed as you watched his body go limp and watched him stop breathing.

Rika looked at you with a satisfied smile and walked back towards the door. She set the glass down on the shelf and took your wrist, leading you across the hall.

You didn’t want to go in, but you knew you didn’t have a choice, “Rika don’t do this.”

She ignored you and stopped before the door, “Feel my heart beating,” She pressed your hand to her chest and you felt her heart. It wasn’t sped up with adrenaline, instead, it was calm and slow. Like this was therapeutic.

“I’m just like you,” She said and you shook your head, ripping your hand away.

“People forget I’m human too,” She said, putting her hand on the door.

“No, they don’t,” You said.

“Yes, they do.”

She pushed the door open and you both entered. Saeyoung sat in a chair tied up and gagged just like Saeran. He was staring at a screen in front of him.

You looked closer and realized it was a live feel from Saeran’s room. He had just watched you do nothing while his brother was murdered. Tears streamed down his face and you felt yourself tear up when you still couldn’t do anything to stop Rika.

This time Rika didn’t say anything as she grabbed a bottle of pills from her pocket and force Saeyoung to swallow all of them. You turned away from him and sobbed when you heard Rika set the bottle down.

She grabbed your wrist and lead you across the hall to the next door. She opened it, and you saw Zen tied up exactly the same as the other two. This time the walls were covered in writing. All hate comments and rumors about him.

“This is performance. This is all self-defense,” You saw her take out a knife. The same knife you had brought, “I thought you had the sense to see through that.”

You didn’t look away this time. You couldn’t. You looked Zen in the eye and tried to give him an apologetic look as Rika slit his throat. His body went limp and you cried as the dragged you out of the room.

“Was I too proud with you?” She asks as she opened the next room, “Was I too cold and forbidding?”

“Please stop hurting them,” You begged.

She dragged you into the room and you saw Jumin and Jaehee tied up, right next to each other. You shook your head and looked away until you heard a gun cock.

“And you chose them over me,” She pressed the gun against Jumins temple, “Are you kidding?”

She pulled the trigger on the last word and you screamed. You kept trying to force past the barrier. To fight back and stop her before she could hurt anyone else.

She took you back out in the hallway and you stood in front of the final door. V was the final person. The final one she would hurt before she inevitably killed you. You sobbed and begged her not to do this. Not to hurt him.

“If you love him, please don’t hurt him. Please.”

She ignored you once again, opening the door. You went to the doorway, hoping to stop her from hurting V...but the room was empty aside from one picture of V that sat on a table in the center of the room.

You furrowed your brows for a second before you were pushed into the room. You fell to the floor and looked up at Rika as she came in and shut the door behind her.

“Poor little me,” She glared at you, “All trapped inside this fabulous show.”

You tried to stand up but she kicked you back down, “You could set me free.”

She held out the knife and you wanted to take it. Wanted to badly to take it and stop her from hurting V, but you couldn’t.

“If you’re going, go.” She said, smirking. She knew you couldn’t.

You shook your head and begged again. Trying to get her to stop this whole thing.

“It’s fine for you. It’s fine to flirt.”

“I’m so sorry Rika. Please stop this,” You cried.

You watched as she walked to the table and picked up the picture of V, tracing her finger across the frame, “And god he’s hot.”

She looked at you and showed you the picture, “Why does he even wear a shirt?”

She was teasing you now. This was all a joke to her. She didn’t care she was killing her friends as long as she was hurting you in the end.

“No, It’s fine,” She said, and you both turned when another voice spoke at the same time as her.

V was standing in the doorway. Dressed in his normal black shirt and grey jacket. You tried to scream at him, beg him to run so she didn’t hurt him. But he didn’t even look at you.

He walked into the room and looked Rika up and down, “Damn, you’re fine.”

He held out his hand and Rika took it, “Damn, you’re fine,” Rika replied.

You watched in horror as they looked into each other’s eyes, “And it’s fine…”

They turned so Vs back was towards you and Rika glanced at you over his shoulder, “Until someone gets-.”

He cut her off by pulling her into a kiss. Long and passionate. You couldn’t look away as he pulled her closer, ignoring your screams and cries. Rika pulled away after a long while and smiled at V. You saw him smile back before Rika looked at you.

“Until someone gets hurt,” She looked into Vs eyes and you saw the murderous look, “Until someone gets-”

She cut herself off by plunging the knife into Vs chest. You screamed as you watched him fall backward, betrayal written all over his face. He landed on his back in front of you and you crawled over to him.

“Hurt…” You heard Rika say, but you could only focus on V.

You used one hand to press down on his wound and your other hand to cup his cheeks and wipe away the single tear that fell. You let out a sob as he closed his eyes.

You tensed up in anger and finally stood up. The barrier was broken now that everyone was dead. Facing Rika, you saw her bright smile and her satisfied look.

“You bitch!” You shouted, lunging towards her.

Right before you reached her you felt something grab your foot and slam you to the ground. The last thing you remember is Rika’s laugh before you passed out.

When you opened your eyes, you were back in the throne room. Rika was on the throne, and you were tied up and kneeling in front of her. You sobbed as you remembered what happened, how she murdered all your friends just because she wanted to torture you.

“Just kill me,” You begged, “Please.”

She laughed at you, “But that would end the suffering too soon.”

You watched her stand and walk towards you, stopping before you and tilting your chin so you were forced to look at her. She smirked at you and you tried to fight her grip, but couldn’t.

You closed your eyes and screamed, thrashing around and trying to escape. You sobbed when you felt a knife lightly caress your cheek and you leaned into it, wanting Rika to just end the pain she caused.

You heard her laugh, but it was cut off by shouting and voices coming from down the hall. You opened your eyes and saw Rika’s smirk fall and eyes widen as the shouting got closer.

You couldn’t understand what they were saying, but Rika evidently did. She quickly looked around for an exit, but before she could go anywhere someone tackled her to the ground as men in black suits surrounded her.

You looked around and sobbed in relief when you saw Zen, V, and Saeyoung at your side. Alive, and real, and safe. Zen and Saeyoung untied you while V just stared at you in horror. He kneeled in front of you and you saw his eyes tear up as he saw how broken you looked.

When the roped released you fell into Vs chest and sobbed, wrapping your arms around him and hugging him tightly. He hugged you back just as tightly and you silently thanked every got out there that everything she did didn’t actually happen.

“You can’t do this! I didn’t even touch her!” You heard Rika scream.

You buried your face into the crook of Vs neck and tried to ignore the pain you felt when she spoke. You felt Vs arms move under your knees and shoulders as he lifted you up bridal style.

You kept your arms around his neck as he carried you. You looked around and saw Jaehee, Jumin, and Yoosung by the doorway looking at you with concern. You bit your lip and tried not to cry when you saw them. You noticed Saeran glaring daggers at Rika as she was taken outside and forced into a cop car.

You buried your face into Vs neck when the sun hit your face. Wasn’t it sunset when you got there? Had you been gone all night? You heard a car door open and felt V try to set you down.

His arms loosened around you and you screamed, holding him tighter in fear that it was him dying or leaving you. You heard him sigh before tightening his arms around you.

Suddenly you were in his lap, his arms wrapped securely around you. You moved your head and opened your eyes, looking around. It looked like you were in a limo. Jumin, Jaehee, and Yoosung sat on the seats across from you. Seven sat on Vs left and Zen on his right. They were both trying to offer comfort but it was hard because of the way V was holding you.

Seven ran his hand through your hair and Zen awkwardly rubbed your leg, but you didn’t mind. You notices Saeran sitting next to Seven and he looked like he was deliberately looking away from you. After a few seconds, you notices his tears and instantly felt guilty for hurting him like this.

V tapped your arm to get your attention and you looked up at him.

“What happened?” He asked.

You swallowed, trying to get rid of the image of everyone dying in front of you, “Um…”

“V, she just got out. Give her a bit,” Zen said from next to you.

You shook your head, “No. No. It’s fine,” You just wanted to get this over with.

“I went to go find her because I knew she was behind the fake messages and I wanted to fix everything. She said it was only step one of her plan to torture me and then she told me to follow her so I did and she must’ve drugged me or something because no matter what I did I couldn’t attack her or escape. And the whole this wasn’t even real but it felt so real. I thought it was real. I-”

“MC,” Jumin spoke up, cutting you off, “Breathe. It’s okay. What happened after that.”

You took a deep breath, “She took me into a hallway filled with torn up pictures of me and started accusing me of using her to get to you guys. After a while, she led me into a room and she-” you cut yourself off when a sob forced its way out of your throat.

“It’s okay. You’re safe now,” Seven said.

You nodded and looked at Saeran. He was still facing the window but he was looking at you, “Oh god she killed you Saeran.”

You sobbed as you looked at Seven, “And you,” You turned to everyone else and explained what happened more. You were on the verge of a panic attack when you reached the part where she killed V.

You looked up at him, “I kept screaming at you to get out but you wouldn’t even look at me and then she kissed you and-” you gasped, clutching your chest.

V pulled you closer and you buried your face back into his neck, trying to calm down. His hand rubbed comforting circles on your back and you could feel everyone staring at you.

“Shh, it’s okay MC. Just breath. I’m right here. I’m alive. I promise.”

You listened to his voice and followed his breathing, trying to calm down. Images of everyone dying flooded your mind and you squeezed your eyes shut, reaching a hand up to latch on to his shirt.

“We’re all okay, MC,” Jaehee said.

“Yeah. We’re all alive,” Yoosung agreed. Everyone slowly began talking and comforting you and slowly you were able to calm down.

“I’m sorry,” you said and were instantly shushed by everyone there. They reassured you that they were okay and you were safe. With that knowledge, you were able to fall asleep. Safe and comfortable in Vs arms.

Your dreams were plagued with nightmares for the next year, but the RFA stayed by your side and you knew you would be okay with them there.

Yeah sorry about that. Kinda just random and not accurate at all to the game but when inspiration hits i have to write.

#mystic messenger fanfic #mystic messenger #DEATH AND ANGST #Idk how to tag please help #Trigger warning?#This is just a depressing crack fic #jihyun kim #mc #rika #yoosung kim #zen #jumin han #jaehee kang #wow this made me sAd #im sorry

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ninja8tyu · 6 years ago

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My therapist told me once that a lot of people see therapists, but it doesn’t seem like that because it’s not like people tell others about it.

Now that I’m writing this, I question why snapshoting your lunch is more interesting than therapy, but I digress.

I’m going to tell you about what it’s like to go see therapists. It isn’t as bad as others make it out to be, and it means nothing bad to go see one; only that you are taking care of your mental health. Push away people who say that you’re demented.

I went through multiple therapists through childhood. I was never told why, but I can deduce it.

If it wasn’t the autistic breakdowns and anger issues, along with constant bullying and disproportionate retaliation (I still think it’s fair), I have no clue.

But before I do go on wholesome journey, I’m going to give an example in my life where a therapist (if that was a therapist; my memory only recalls an interview-like room, but it’s indeterminate if it was a therapist or not, as it seemed to be more of a questioning and interrogation rather than the therapy I know of, but i suppose it still applies, as people around my age at the time, I feel, would feel uncomfy talking to adults (I’m more comfy talking to adults than kids my age, just to note, according to other people and personal affirmation) and a therapist may seem intimidating because of the age gap or size difference) basically contributed to my anxiety and distrust in everyone.

Not to bring hate to that therapist, but at the same time, go back to the kitchen bitch, but how this therapist destroyed my trust is basically because I made a terrible joke. Being autistic didn’t grant me the normal ability to determine what was okay to say in certain situations the moment I was born, and I had to learn it throughout life. I think I was frustrated with my mom over my computer (which now I realize how deep my addiction to the web goes) and joked about an elaborate plan that would hurt my mom if she took it away.

Now, this joke was a joke because it was impossible to pull at my age. Putting myself in her shoes, I wonder what she would be thinking. Did she take the joke too seriously? Did she actually consider a 7 year old a threat to human life? Fuck if I know, but my mom was contacted, and boy, did I stop trusting them then.

In defense of her, that was still a threat, and therefore better safe than sorry. In attack towards her, your idiocy fucked me up enough to not make proper use of mental health professionals. The defense is weak in that my threat was empty and fangless. Weighing the options, I think that the dumbest option was chosen (which is why I doubt her status as a therapist: she’s clinically retarded).

So because of that incident, I didn’t really had a fun time with therapists after a very long time, up until high school.

From what my therapist said, it seems like people like me make the mistake that seeing a therapist and/or taking medication is a magical cure to depression and all our personality problems. I can attest to that.

They do not engage in mind-control or the mystical arts. They are more like conversation partners than anything else.

The mistake we make is thinking that something else will solve our problem, but the truth is that the change we want has to come from us. The therapists and medicine helps to aid it, not make it come to be.

I didn’t think that medicine or therapy would help me though, as before high school, I believed that I was right the entire time, and the world was fucked up.

Well, the world is still fucked up, sharing some of the reasons why I believed why that is plus more, but not all of it that ended up to be delusions.

I spent my time telling the therapists how I’m right, and explaining my reasoning. Lucky that I didn’t pass them off as mind-controlled too, and tried to debate rather than go flat-earther over global morality. I guess I assumed that I was powerful enough to wipe mind control or I could appeal to their reason and emotion to destroy the control, assuming it was there. Fuck if I know. I wanna know what that little brat that was once me was thinking as well. But I digress.

The therapists I saw, the visits don’t really stick into my head, but I recall them always suggesting new possibilities in my head. Rather than linear thinking, they suggested other thoughts that might have occurred with others. Now that I’m typing this, I feel that something I might have done back then in response was “well, it’s a stupid way of thinking, and they should go die” which would explain why I didn’t just become a better person then. It’s because I was more smarter back then than now. I overthink and try to live in theory, rather than see and know what is in front of me, and living in the world I know I’m in. After all, I can’t apply “everyone has good will” when I’m living in “everyone is out to get you, literally, just check your memories and the fact that they’re still doing it”. But I digress.

Eventually, therapy stopped. If I ever went to see a therapist, it was because I was in trouble. Saw my counselor too, who basically acted like one.

Anxiety and depression basically were gangbanging me during the time, and I was controlled by constant fear and wanting to kill everyone the first chance I got where no one would be left surviving. Never happened for obvious reasons. Also, the US didn’t give me nuclear codes. Nor did ISIS give me an AK. No one trusts me with a weapon, which is oddly funny and annoying. But I digress.

My mental state went to shit. I remember reading in a report where it included a history of my past “misconduct”, one event that I found funny was the fact that they recorded a threat I made. It included ripping someone’s mouth off and shoving it in their ear so they could hear what they were saying. I hold my child self in high regard for this reason, but at the same time, I also want to shoot him for doing stupid shit that I wouldn’t do in clarity. He’s still a legend in my eyes, but I digress.

My counselor wasn’t a therapist, but damn did she pull me out of a portion of my depression. She played a major part for putting trust in other people. Depression and anxiety took over, I didn’t want to hold it in anymore, and so I told her that she thought I was a nuisance, that she should just stop pretending to be nice, and just toss me aside. She said that she did care for me, though in an angry voice. She was mad that I put words in her mouth. But her words told me that people weren’t all out to get me, and that I’m not hated behind everyone’s backs. I didn’t think and still do think that people can’t lie when they are angry like that.

Then high school came. I had just about it with depression, and I asked to go see a therapist for antidepressants. I didn’t really trust therapists that much still, but somehow, that step made me effectively use the help I got. But yeah.

My therapist noted how the first time I met her, I was like “I’m just here for my magic drugs. Nothing else.” Funny, looking back at it. The therapy helped more than the antidepressants.

I managed to convince my “drugs are brainwash” parents (who are stupid and easily manipulative (often exploited by my brother to make me feel worse), which, even if they disagreed, an annoying child begging for it will always win against such parents, and while it never got to that point, I got the help) to let me get antidepressants (due to cheap price, studying effects of it, also my therapist helped) to help me get better.

I asked someone on tumblr as an anon who I knew was taking antidepressants, and the key thing I took was that the drug is not going to instantly cure me. It isn’t an instant happy pill. It’s a clutch that helps you move through life. Some people even life with depression, never really getting rid of it completely, but they learn to live with it regardless.

My experience with taking antidepressants were introductory, or for mild depression (just to note, I have dysthymia). It made me less dead on the inside. Didn’t make me happy, but I noticed a lack of apathy.

I don’t think the drugs worked because of my more severe depression, and the more obvious reason: my family was making me miserable and suicidal.

You can’t get over depression when people are continuing to put you down. I’m finding a fond interest in murder and torture because of them. I want to get over it, but if I have a toxic family who counteracts any help I get to my mental state, then what’s the result going to be? Hint: I don’t get better.

Family therapy is out of the question, and getting professional help for the biggest fucker contributing to it (brother) is too, since “mind-control” and “government conspiracy” and “I’m crazy, literally, being autistic and all”. So yeah. 17 years wasted wallowing in depression because of a shitty state in a shitty country and shitty family. If I haven’t expressed my rage for my family and those who have made me miserable enough, just take it as true that if I have the ability to, I would enact something that would put a number of people countable on two hands through the type of hell that rivals the holocaust and gulags with their tens of millions of people who suffered in terms of inhumanity and immorality. I digress.

And then I cut myself for the first time. Thanks to my big brother. My mental state was no longer stable, and also the start of when I get kicked out of two discord groups consecutively.

I was still too scared to tell my therapist more about my life out of fear that I’d be sent to a mental hospital, so I went onto the internet, where I could vent about my problems and express my rage anonymously and safely (ignoring hackers and the like).

During this time, I learned a lot of things that really hit me and hurt damn badly, and I couldn’t really blame half of them because it was quite literally caused by me. Venting around on the web didn’t turn out so good.

I’m worth no more than shit to someone I know to be intelligent, whom I had assumed before then that only geniuses could understand the pain I went through. The person here also went through rough shit, possibly worse than I ever had. I had no excuse nor explanation to myself why this is other than that it is what it is, and what is, is that I’m worth below that of manure.

Then I joined a community full of degenerates. The thing that hits me lightly is that I got rejected by a bunch of misfits in society, who are literal nazis, hypocrites, criminals, rejects, et cetera. I want a majority of the people in there dead. I learned a few things like that the people with power are the people you must obey, or you will suffer. I learned that corruption isn’t given a damn about. Systems will gladly run on immorality, so long as it isn’t moral yet. I earn that people are actually willing to us any amount of effort to put up facades to be nice while they absolutely despise you behind their backs.

Alternate accounts let me find some of things people have said while I was banned. I hated it.

I’m pretty sure some of my fits of rage online are on some cringe comp, but I digress.

And then my weekly visit with my therapist came around. My mental state becoming worse and worse, starting with my brother who actively makes me miserable, to being banned from places I felt belonging to because of my mental instability, I had no fear of going to a mental hospital.

Better there than with a shitty family that makes me miserable. I couldn’t care less what drugs they inject into me, so long as it helps me.

I walked in, telling her that I no longer fear going to a mental hospital. I’m going to be honest. There is nothing good left to lose. Just the bad is left to lose, and I’m begging on the inside to lose them.

And then I cried. Told her about how I felt worthless, powerless, useless, a waste, how miserable my life felt, and so on and so on.

I expressed my rage, and how I hated them. I wanted them dead. I never deserved this. What did I do to deserve this? Why give birth to me to make me go through hell? I never asked to be born, and yet people are treating me as if I decided to be born in hell.

Yeah, death threats I made. I’m lucky my therapist didn’t just call the FBI and sick ‘em on me. She was understanding, and knew I was going through a bad time. Not everyone gets the same treatment, I understand, but I have a point here.

The thing I feel about letting it all out, is that because I let it all-out, I’m open to judgement, and therefore correction. My therapist talked with me, I put out my thoughts, she did hers, and the problems begin to become solved. Though, having an interest in psychology and sharing basic knowledge of it helped exponentially. Also, working on emotional intelligence helped too.

I feel that most people don’t really talk about their problems, and they never resolve themselves. They may hold some kind of opinion or thought that would be really bad to have if a situation popped up where they applied that. And when it pops up, they then make a bad decision. But of course, they can’t talk to anyone about them out of fear of judgement.

I feel that therapy works best when you’re honest and unafraid of judgement. You have to be willing to put out your thoughts and let them be vulnerable, and accept when you’re wrong. Also, mental hospitals aren’t that bad, apparently. They do inject strong drugs for people with certain conditions, but that’s because they’re fit to deal with side-effects better than at home or in a standard check-up hospital. Other people’s words, not mine. I haven’t been to one yet.

For me, my problem was to come to terms with the world I believe to be corrupted, and personal problems. I asked why are there killer cops? Why on Earth is the school system built where it rewards bullies but punishes victims? What is the universal cause that turns people bad? Am I the bad guy?

My solution was to let my thoughts be open to be judged and criticized. And it worked for me.

I think I should say that it may not work for you if you go see a therapist. It may not be the best person that would help you, or that you still need time to mentally prep yourself.

As for me, I’m probably not going to see my therapist any more. I’m scare that she’s putting up a kind facade, but actually hates me. I don’t want to be a bratty nuisance that still couldn’t get better after two years and coming back to old issues. I just fear that being true.

My mental state is beginning to deteriorate as a result of being stuck at home with a mentally and emotionally abusive family over the summer. I had starved myself for a short duration (~16 hrs) before realizing that was stupid, and I was basically suggesting to kill my body in an attempt to prove a point (a human can last months without food, but it wouldn’t be worth losing brain development time, especially my life, since I know they wouldn’t be more nicer even if I starved myself).

Also, still no psychiatrist visit for some fucking reason. Medicine can help, but with a family that thinks drugs are products of the devil, it’s more likely for me to go on a psychosis than them ever consider that drugs aren’t that bad. Also, fuck the US for putting a bad name on drugs and the drug war. Literally, not even medical drugs like antidepressants that can help people get better are safe from the toxic culture it bred. Also fuck DARE. You increased drug addiction. Go fuck yourselves. Also fuck the cops for being biased against the mentally ill and the “special” ones. Fuck the system for the same reason. Fuck the world for still thinking they’re morally upright when they still do immoral acts. Fuck the people who let it happen for any reason. Fuck this snowflake society that can’t do anything but complain, because a revolt would be too much work for their fragile asses. Fuck the political system and the government for working based on who pays the most, seldom morality and justice. Fuck my family for being stupid and abusive. Fuck society and how they think that if it isn’t the worst that it could be, then you have no right to complain and correct your problems. Fuck political correctness and how it prioritizes being unoffensive over actually solving problems. Fuck the UN for being incompetent.

#therapy #psychology #my stories #sfw

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buckyscrystalqueen · 6 years ago

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The Unexpected Protector: Part 5

Pairings: Negan x Reader

Warnings: Swearing, Abuse, Domestic Violence. Angst

Word Count: 7,310

A/N: HEED THE WARNINGS!!!!!! DON’T COME CRYING IF YOU DON’T!

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You had no idea how it was possible, but Negan had more patience than any person you had ever met before in your life. He rarely left your side in that first week you were home, and if he did, it was only during your bed bath time, where he simply headed up to the den to take care of the little work that his brother Joey, who you learned was the Mafia’s underboss, needed Negan’s approval on before following through with, so you had some privacy. He was attentive to every single need you had, usually before you even realized you needed them yourself. He made sure that Gretchen and two of her fellow hospital employees, Sam and Daisy, were on top of their game with changing bandages, and repositioning your legs on the pillows and your left arm on the pillow sling every four to six hours like they were supposed to. He had your recovery working like a well oiled machine. Which you grateful for, honestly.

You found yourself playing Monopoly with the TV on in the background. You had just put a hotel not only on Boardwalk but beside your house on Park Place and you were starting to think that Negan was letting you win.

‘You’re cheating, aren’t you?’ You wrote as Negan took some of your money for the bank to pay for the hotel.

“Not cheating.” He chuckled. You made as close to a hum noise as you could and tapped the marker against the board to repeat your point. He swiped the dice off the board and jostled them in his left palm as he offered you a drink of water seconds before you were about to ask for it.

“This is NBC News at six with James Riley and Maxine Smith. Our top story tonight. The body of police chief Christian Wilson was recovered from the Hudson River early this morning only hours after the security video of him assaulting his ex-wife surfaced on the internet. Police say…” You didn’t hear the rest of the story as your right hand flew out and grabbed Negan’s wrist as tight as you could.

“Easy, baby girl.” He said softly.

“Was this you?” You grit out as best as you could as your eyes filled with tears of mixed emotions. You ripped your eyes away from the TV to look at him as he very subtly shook his head. He picked up your white board off your leg and scooted so you could read what he wrote as he wrote and erased it at the same time.

‘Not that… but I may or may not have had a hand in finding the hacker that “broke in” to your security system before I had Big Sam fix the hole he hacked through.’ He looked up at you as he wiped the rest of his message away with his thumb and set the white board and the marker down on your lap. You started to choke on your sobs as you grabbed his shirt and frantically pulled him toward you.

“Thank you.” You sobbed as you wrapped your good arm around him and tangled your fingers in his hair.

“Of course, baby girl. But you gotta stop crying. Gretchie ain’t fucking here and I’m not doing the fucking snot sucker thing.” You huffed a laugh and nodded as he kissed your shoulder and pulled back to grab you a couple tissues. He leaned back to look at you and gently wiped your nose as you reached up to run your fingertips across his cheek. There was so much you wanted to say to him and your face fell the slightest bit since you weren’t able to.

“I love you, too.” He said as he looked up into your green eyes and let his hand fall to the bed. He smiled and chuckled as he tilted his head to the side to study your confused face. “I fucking know everything, baby girl. Don’t give me that look. And I may have overheard you and Jade talking about love and shit yesterday. Well… her half of the conversation at least.” You scowled and gently flicked his nose in response.

“How about this. Until you can say it out loud, I won’t either. Sound good?” You nodded as you wiped a lone tear off your cheek with the tissues. “OK. By the way, it’s your fucking role, slacker.” You rolled your eyes and held your hand out for the dice as you flipped him off as best as you could with your braced left hand. “Just roll the fucking dice.”

——

“What does this mean?” You asked your new lawyer, James Preston, who was not only Negan’s lawyer, but the best lawyer in Manhattan, as you flipped through the subpoena that had been dropped off that morning. You looked up at him through finally unswollen eyes with your eyebrow raised as you flipped the pages closed on the hospital bed table Gretchen had stolen from work for you. James, understanding you perfectly since you could now actually move your lips and tongue to speak three weeks after the initial accident, crossed his legs on the chair beside your bed and leaned forward on them the slightest bit.

“Because of the video and the statement you gave the police, the state of New York is pressing charges on Nathan for being an accessory to attempted first degree murder, conspiracy to commit murder, reckless endangerment in the first, and assault in the second. Max sentence for all of them combined would be about twenty years, possibly life. He’s adamantly denying that he was involved despite your initial statement and cell phone records…”

“Even though he’s on video?” You interrupted as you looked up at your new attorney.

“Unfortunately, the video that was shown on the news doesn’t exactly show who was in the cab…”

“They have the wrong video, then.” You said as you hit Negan’s arm and pointed across your body for the house iPad. “Show him the thing.”

“I have had every fucking inch of this place monitored since the day she filed for divorce.” Negan said as he logged into your security system feature on the tablet that literally ran nearly every inch of your house from the pool pump down to the exact temperature of the large wine cooler in your cellar. “There’s four cameras on the fucking front door alone, including this one.” He hit the live view from the camera directly above your front door that showed the area from just in front of your door all the way out to the street. James got up to look at the feed as Negan hit back and pulled up the next live feed.

“This one, too.” You glanced over and looked at the video from the camera that was located on the corner of your house outside the second story window that showed nearly the entire front garden of your house, the stairs leading up to the sidewalk, the sidewalk itself, and half of the street. “I got one in the same spot on the other side of the second story and one on the wall facing the damn door. They all record, 24 fucking 7, and I can have a copy of the videos from that night made for you in fucking twenty minutes.”

“Do that.” James said as he pulled a yellow notepad from his briefcase and started feverishly writing notes. “I’ll need three copies of every angle you have. One for me, and one for each the prosecution and the defense. That’ll make this an open and shut thing.”

“Thank God.” You gasped as you leaned back against your pillows a little more to stop the ache in your hip before it got much worse.

“Has no one come to talk to you about these tapes?” He asked as he glanced up at you.

“Well, I’ve only been able to actually speak for like three days and I was kinda out of it for a while. But no, no one’s come to talk to me about anything other than the initial police report.”

“That’s… well that’s only partially surprising since the main culprit was the chief of police. Now, one final thing. The trial begins on Monday and you are the only person the state is calling that day. You absolutely cannot take any pain killers that day, no matter how much pain you’re in. It can taint your statement and the whole trial could get thrown out. They know you’re going to be in a wheelchair, they know about all broken ribs, and they know that your jaw is wired shut so if you get too upset, they will stop and let you take a break. But this is all stuff the prosecutor will go over with you tomorrow when you meet her at the court house to go over your testimony.” You nodded your head and looked over at Negan as he texted back and forth with Tank, who was getting the camera feeds copied onto discs upstairs in the den.

“This is gunna fucking suck.” He nodded in agreement as he put the iPad on your table and sat on his hip on the bed beside Chewie, who had taken up permanent sleeping residence next to your left hip.

“Two days, baby girl. Two fucking days and it’s done. We fucking got this.” You nodded your head and adjusted the strap of your left arm and shoulder sling.

“Alright. Let’s do this.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As you sat in your wheelchair in front of the witness stand, waiting patiently for the bailiff to adjust the microphone enough so that it would be able to record your testimony, you realized that you had never actually been on this side of the room before. Sure, you had done your duty as a juror when you were in your early twenties, and you had gone to court with Christian a time or two for moral support on big cases, but you had never been the person on trial or witnessing for one. This past year was full of firsts. You were shaken from your thoughts as the bailiff stood off to your side and put the Bible you needed to swear on as close to your left fingers as possible. You smiled at him and laid your fingers on the hardwood cover.

“Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help you, God?”

“I do.” You replied with a nod. Your eyes found the ADA, Jenna Prescott, who was an old acquaintance of yours, as she stood up from the table.

“How are you today, (Y/N)?” She asked with a smile as she stepped around the table to act as a focal point so you didn’t have to look at Nathan.

“Well, let’s just say I’ve been better.”

“Understandable.” She said with a nod of her head before launching right into her inquiry. “Now, (Y/N). Let’s start from the beginning. Can you tell us what happened first on the night of the incident?”

“I was watching a movie at around 12:30 at night, when I received a call from my lawyer Nathan Riggs, regarding my divorce papers.” You purposely didn’t continue answering the way Jenna had told you the day before.

“And what did he say when he called?”

“He told me that my ex-husband had finally signed the divorce papers I filed.” She nodded as she strolled slowly towards the full jurors box.

“Did he tell you why he called so late to tell you?”

“He told me that he planned on dropping them off in my mailbox, but I told him I didn’t mind coming upstairs from my basement to get them.”

“So you did just that; you went upstairs to get the papers?” You nodded and cleared your throat as you began to fiddle with the top spongey edge of the leg brace that ran from your hip to mid-calf on your left leg through the knee length dress Gretchen had helped you put on that morning.

“I met him at the curb where he was standing outside a cab. We talked about a case he had been late working on, and he told me that his assistant had filed the divorce papers that afternoon. We joked about my meticulous record keeping because I have kept receipts for every single thing I had purchased during my marriage.”

“And why is that?” Jenna prompted.

“Because when my ex-husband and I entered into our marriage, we were on two different financial levels. I was instructed by my financier at the time, who assisted myself, Christian, and Nathan in writing up my prenuptial agreement, that there was no harm in protecting myself because you never know what the future could look like.” She nodded her head as she searched your eyes, knowing that the next part was where things got difficult.

“Ms. (Y/L/N), what happened after Mr. Riggs gave you the divorce papers?”

“He…” You tried but your words lodged in your throat. You blinked back your tears and cleared your throat as you found Negan, who was standing toward the very back of the court room. He gave you a small nod and you looked back up at Jenna. “He got back into his cab and rolled down the window. He told me that he’d see me around… and that he was sorry for this.” She nodded her head as she walked over and grabbed a little remote.

“People’s exhibits one through four, your honor. Security footage of the night in question from the front of Ms. (Y/L/N)’s home. If it’s OK with the court, I’ll only play exhibit one through to the end so that Ms. (Y/L/N) doesn’t have to relive the night more than once.” The judge told her it was OK, and you forced yourself to look anywhere but at the TV that was being rolled closer to the jurors box. You were grateful that the security cameras didn’t have sound but you didn’t need it. From the moment Christian hit your leg with the baton and the jurors all gasped, you could see the entire night play out like a horrific nightmare in your head.

Tears welled in your eyes and the pain that you had had since four in the morning thanks to your inability to take your pain mens seemed to increase ten-fold. Just as the video was coming to an end, you heard a quick, two tone whistle that Negan did almost subconsciously when he waited for something; the elevator, for dinner to cool, while he stood outside the bathroom door waiting to carry you back to bed. Your head whipped up to look at him and he smiled and mouthed for you to breathe.

“Now, Ms. (Y/L/N). Can you tell the court what your injuries were after that night?” You took a hissed breath through your teeth and took the box of tissues the bailiff was offering you.

“From my head down,” You started as you wiped your nose and the tears off your face. “I had a severe concussion, and he fractured my left cheek and my jaw. So I now have metal plate in my cheek and my jaw is wired shut. My left shoulder, forearm, wrist and hand were all shattered and replaced with pins, rods, screws, and my shoulder was replaced as well. I had seven total broken rips, a hole in my lung and my spleen that caused severe internal bleeding over the nearly four hours I was left to die. My left hip was shattered and had to be replaced, my left knee was also shattered and replaced and my right ankle was broken.” Negan nodded at you as Jenna started the slide show of photos that were taken of you at the hospital.

“People’s exhibits five through thirty.” She said softly.

“Alright, I cave.” Nathan said loudly as he jumped to his feet. “I’ll plead guilty to whatever you want, just please stop making her relive my mistake.” Jenna looked over between him and the judge as she temporarily turned off the TV.

“He pleads guilty to all charges.” Jenna said with a nod. “Minimum of twenty years and loss of his bar status.”

“That’s fine.” Nathan said with a nod. “Fine.”

“Works for me.” The judge said with a nod. “Final sentencing in two weeks. Thank you for your time, Ms. (Y/L/N).” You nodded as you set the tissues on your lap while the bailiff came over to push your wheelchair over to the partition so Negan could intercept your chair. You thanked Jenna on your way past as Nathan was put into hand cuffs on your right. You looked over at him with nearly dead eyes and he bowed his head in shame.

“I won’t say I’m sorry.” He said as he pulled the slightest bit against the officers. “Because I know it doesn’t mean shit. But I will say that I hope you don’t let this change you forever.”

“Good luck, Nathan.” You responded as you took your purse from your boyfriend and looked away from him. “Can we go home?” Negan nodded as he grabbed the handles of your wheelchair and waited for Tank to clear a path in front of you so that no one could hit your leg.

“Abso-fucking-lutely, baby girl.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Negan…” You breathed as you looked at the two dresses he had picked out for you to wear to his mom’s family dinner. It was going to be the first family event you would be going to and you absolutely didn’t want to meet your boyfriend’s family with an unattractive brace on your knee or your left arm and hand in the most God awful cast in the world. You were grateful that you had the wires and arches taken out of your mouth the week before so eating was something that sort of happened now but this was still not how you wanted to meet them.

“Sweetheart. We talked about this.” Negan said as he leaned against the dresser in your closet. “You have to go, you look fucking gorgeous, and they aren’t gunna give a shit that you need a cane to walk.”

“You’re not helping!” You said as you glared up at him.

“And you’re not getting dressed.” He retorted. “Baby, we’re gunna be late.” You sighed and reached out for his hand to stand up.

“I hate you right now.” You growled as you grabbed a thin strapped black and flower patterned dress that would hopefully distract from the still bright pink scar on your shoulder and cover most of your knee brace. “Just help me.”

“You’re too hard on yourself, baby.” He said as he took the dress from you and pulled it off the hanger. “You’re gorgeous.”

“And you’re just trying to butter me up.” You snarked as you let him put the dress over your head.

“Is it working?” He chuckled as he pulled your left arm through the opening as slowly and as carefully as possible since your range of motion wasn’t top notch yet.

“No.” You turned with your back toward him so he could zip you up as you dropped a pair of simple black flats on the floor. He fixed your hair, which you had honestly just blowed dry after your shower, and kneeled down so that he could help you get your feet into the soft soled shoe.

“Alright, let’s go, princess.” You rolled your eyes and grabbed your cane.

“If your mother doesn’t love me, I’m punching you in the fucking throat.” He burst out laughing as you partially limped passed your sleeping pup and out of your closet.

“Will you fucking quit!” He laughed as he snagged your handbag off the bed and jogged to beat you to the elevator. “She’s gunna love you as much as I fucking do.” You grumbled under your breath at him as you rode the elevator downstairs and hobbled out to the waiting SUV. As the car pulled away from the curb to start the long trip to Staten Island to Negan’s childhood home, your boyfriend gently reached out to pull your legs onto his lap.

“Look, I fucking get it.” He said with a nod as he habitually readjusted the straps of your knee brace. “You’re scared. You haven’t left the fucking house in nearly three months, you have been avoiding most people like the fucking plague, and now I’m asking you to fucking have dinner with people you haven’t fucking met before. You have a right to be scared but you know what?” You cocked your eyebrow and looked up at him through your lashes as you fiddled with your cast in your lap.

“I’m gunna be right fucking there the whole damn time. And Gretchie will be there, too. Yea, my family can be loud and it sure as fuck is giant… but they know what you’ve gone through. They know you’re recovering something traumatic. And I promise you that no one is going to judge you because of your scars or your cane. No one would fucking dare and if they do, they’ll fucking answer to me.” He fixed your dress across your lap and gently reached up to cup your jaw.

“Come back to me, baby girl. I miss my strong, independent, fearless woman. You’re letting that prick fucking tear you down again. Don’t. You’re so much fucking stronger than that. Look at all you’ve accomplished in the past few months. You beat out what they said would be your recovery times and forced yourself to be able to walk faster than any doctor had said you would. You made yourself be independent at home. But now you gotta make yourself be independent out of your home again, too. And ma’s birthday is the safest place you can do that.” You nodded your head and took a slightly shaky deep breath as the car pulled up in front of Gretchen’s apartment.

“OK.” You said softly as you pushed your hair back over your shoulders. “Fine, you win.”

“I fucking always win, baby girl.” He chuckled as his baby sister, her husband, and her two boys came out of their apartment. You could hear Gretchen yelling at her sons as she pulled open the door in front of you to let the kids crawl into the back.

“And I swear to God, if you don’t shut your damn mouth about the fucking thing, I’ll throw every fucking toy you own out and you’ll never get another toy again!”

“Damn, Gretchie.” Negan laughed as he moved your legs momentarily so they didn’t get bumped. “You sound like ma.”

“I feel like ma.” She said as she pushed back the middle seat and got in next to her brother as her husband, Franco, got into the front seat. “Hi (Y/N). Kids, say hi.” They two kids in the back seat said hello to you and their uncle Negan as Gretchen helped her brother rest your feet across both their laps. She smoothed out your dress with a smile and leaned against the door as her two kids started playing with their Nintendo’s. “I love this dress.”

“Negan picked it out.” You said as you brushed your hand across the fabric.

“Wrong.” She said with a laugh. “I picked it out. I thought it would bring out the color of your eyes. Which it does.”

“Couldn’t let me have one fucking thing, could you?” Negan chuckled.

“Yea, ‘cause I’m letting you take credit for something I did.” She said as she looked over at him, incredulously. “Not a chance.” He rolled his eyes and rested his hands on your right thigh as the car left Manhattan for the night. The car fell into a comfortable silence until you finally pulled up to the restaurant that had been rented out for the night for the family event.

“Wait for Gretchie.” Negan said as he helped you spin on the seat since your healing hip was still a little sensitive. You nodded your head and tried not to psych yourself out as you pushed open the car door and leaned your cane on the side of the car.

“Is this the famous, (Y/N)?” A woman called out as Gretchen helped you out of the higher car onto the curb. You wanted to look up at her and introduce yourself but making sure you didn’t fall over was a little more pressing at the moment.

“Hey, ma.” Negan said behind you as he held onto your hips while you steadied your weight on your legs as evenly as you could. “This is my angel.” Once you took your first step away from the car, you looked up at the woman who absolutely did not look like she was turning seventy-six, with a smile. She immediately reached up to brush her fingers through your hair to fix it for you with a small smile. Her gorgeous brown eyes searched your face as she adjusted your hair over your shoulders so it sat in cute waves across your skin.

“She’s perfect.” She said as she took a step back with your casted hand held lightly in hers. “I approve of this one.” Your face flushed as Negan stepped up to your side and rested his hand on the small of your back.

“Thanks, ma. Happy birthday.” She nodded and kissed his cheek before turning toward Gretchen to say hi to her daughter. “Come on, baby girl. Let’s go inside.”

——

You didn’t know if you were reading to much into it because of your nerves but Negan definitely acted different toward you around his family. The overprotective, hyper-vigilance was abandoned after a few minutes as his attention was drawn to other members of his massive family.

His mother, Maria, on the other hand, practically adopted you as her second daughter. She fawned over you every second of the night, from making sure you weren’t standing up too long, to making sure you weren’t in any pain at all. She made sure that the kitchen knew that your plate of lasagna needed cut in small enough pieces so that you didn’t worry about having to do it one handed and so that it would be easier for you to eat with your jaw still healing. If you didn’t know any better, you would have thought you were a helpless child again at your uncle Bobby’s house. But surprisingly, it made you feel ten times more comfortable than you expected it to with the family. At least, most of them.

“Have you seen this new fling of his?” A thick accent asked over the sound of the restroom door opening as you were using the bathroom between dinner and dessert. “She’s just hanging all over mama…”

“And that dress.” Another woman said. “Did she miss the memo that wives wear black? It’s just disrespectful…”

“I don’t know.” A third voice said softly as the three women stopped in front of the handicapped stall to check their reflections in the mirror. “I talked to her for a couple minutes and she seems really really sweet. Gretchen says Negan adores her…”

“Yea, probably because of her fake tits.” The first woman laughed as she dug through her bag for something. You huffed to yourself and shook your head as you grabbed the handrail in the stall with your right hand and pulled yourself to your feet so you didn’t have to use your knee too much.

“The tits are real.” You called out as you pulled up your panties and fixed your dress. “And Negan and Gretchen picked out the dress.” With a shake of your head, you flushed, and limped out of the stall with the most fake smile you could muster. “And Mama Marie is being nice to his son’s new girlfriend. I’m not hanging all over her. May I wash my hands, please?” The three women moved from in front of the sink and you gave them a small nod and a soft thanks. The trio stood awkwardly around you and finished fixing their makeup as you dried your hand as best as you could so it wouldn’t slip on your cane.

“I will say though.” You said as you hesitated at the door. The three women looked over their shoulders at you and you simply smiled. “Even if you think I’m being disrespectful, I appreciate you checking me out. Good self-esteem boost to hear my tits still look good.” You turned toward the door and nearly ran head first into Maria, who looked pissed beyond belief.

“What did you say to her?” She demanded as she gently moved you out the door.

“Mama, we didn’t…” The woman that belonged to the second voice you heard tried, only to be cut off when Maria put her hand up.

“Save your breath.” She growled. “You know better.” She followed after you back to the head table and your brow furrowed slightly.

“Am I supposed to be wearing all black?” You asked as you lowered yourself into your chair.

“Well…” She said as she sat down beside you in Negan’s chair. “Usually, yes. It’s a sign of respect for family members that are in jail or that pass away. But you technically aren’t fully family yet. Which is why Gretchie put you in black with a pop of color.” You nodded your head as she waved over Negan with a single drag of her finger. “Don’t worry, sweets. We’ll take care of ya and teach you the ways of the family.” You gave her a soft smile and nodded as she stood up to say something to Negan. You could only make out the words ‘horrendous’, ‘disrespectful’, and ‘breasts’ but by the look on your boyfriend’s face, he was as appalled as his mother was at the women’s actions.

“You OK, baby girl?” He asked as he leaned down to your eye level.

“I’m fine.” He nodded his head once and kissed your forehead.

“Stay with ma.” You nodded at his retreating back as he called out for ‘Paulie’ angrily.

“One thing you never do.” Maria said as she sat back down and reached for her wine glass from her spot on the other side of Negan’s chair. “Never disrespect another member of this family. I won’t stand for it. And my grand nieces should know that by now.”

“Yes, ma’am.” You said as you picked up your water and took a sip as Negan nearly threw the man you expected was Paulie toward the front door.

“I need you to fucking explain to me…” You heard him roar as the door slowly closed behind him. “Why the fuck your fucking cunt wife is talking shit…” You didn’t realize you had started getting up from the table until Maria put her hand on your shoulder and pushed you back down gently.

“Stay put, baby. My Negan, he’s a good boy, but dealing with the family sometimes is a big job. Being his woman is not an easy task. Lucille tried, God bless her soul, but…”

“Who?” You asked as you looked away from your boyfriend and at his mother.

“Lucille. His ex-wife. Didn’t you know about Lucille?” You shook your head and looked back up at Negan.

“No…” You whispered. “No, I didn’t.”

——

“You’re awful fucking quiet tonight.” Negan said as you lay across the back seat of the SUV on your way home after dinner.

“Just tired.” You said as you played with the gold band Negan hand on his right ring finger like you usually did. You had no idea why it didn’t occur to you before but, now that you really looked at it, it was absolutely a wedding band. Negan hummed and slowly nodded his head as he searched your face.

“Sure you’re not fucking upset about what those bitches said?” You huffed and shook your head as you looked up to meet his eyes.

“No, baby. I’m fine.” He nodded again as the car pulled up to the curb in front of your house, and you could tell he wasn’t buying what you were selling. He helped you drop your legs to the ground and passed you your cane as Tank came around the car to help you out.

“The fuck did my ma say to you?” You hated that your slight hesitation gave you away but you still shook your head.

“Nothing worth while.” You could almost feel him fuming behind you for blatantly lying to you as you slowly made your way down the front stairs and into your house. But it wasn’t until you hit the elevator that he figured it out.

“Ah, fuck. She fucking told you about fucking Lucille.” You huffed a humorless laugh as you limped into the elevator and shook your head.

“The fact that she did and you didn’t in the six months we’ve been together is what is really fucking upsetting, Negan.”

“Yea because you’re an open fucking book…”

“I am an open fucking book, Negan!” You shouted as the elevator stopped on your floor. “You know fucking everything about me down to my Goddamn deodorant and panty preference. What do I know about you? Fucking nothing. I don’t know the apparent rules about being your girlfriend, I don’t know the fucking fact that you were fucking married. I don’t know fucking shit! So don’t you dare get all self righteous on me.” You stepped out of your dress and threw your strapless bra across the bathroom before turning on the tub. “You have no fucking right.”

“I have no fucking right?” He asked as you snatched your plastic cast cover off the counter. “I have to… don’t you fucking get in that fucking tub!”

“Make me get out of it!” You shouted as you threw your knee brace at him and awkwardly maneuvered yourself into the bath.

“Well I’m not fucking getting you out of it.” He retorted. “And I got all the fucking right in the world to keep my fucking life private…”

“Not from me!” You screamed. “Not from me!” He angrily threw his hands up in the air and stormed out of the bathroom with a growled shout.

“Enjoy sleeping in the fucking bathtub!” You rolled your eyes and grabbed a lavender bath bomb from the basket hanging off the side of the bathtub.

“Don’t worry, I will.” You said you to yourself as you dropped the bomb in the hot water and turned off the faucet. You sighed and laid your head on the pillow you had attached to the tub to close your eyes for a few minutes and let the heat workout the stress knots and pain from your bones. Which is exactly where Negan found you three hours later.

“Goddamn it.” He growled as he pulled the chain for the stopper and let the water out as he rolled up his sleeves. He laid a towel down on the sheets and came back into the room while grumbling under his breath since he knew he was gunna have to do this. He gently pulled you out of the receding water with a shake of his head and carried you into the bedroom. “Fucking… fuck.” He said as he laid you down on your side of the bed and toweled you dry. “Why the fuck… just… fuck…” He threw the top towel and the cast cover into the bathroom and pulled the covers up over you. “Pain in my fucking ass.” He continued to swear as he stripped down to his boxers, got in on his side of the bed, and glanced over to make sure Chewie was in his bed.

“Your mommy is a fucking thorn in my side right fucking now.” He said as he flipped off the lights. “But she’s fucking right.”

——

You knew Negan had caved and carried you to bed when the towel underneath you scratched at your skin when you stretched under the sheets. You could hear him breathing beside you but you knew by the sound of it that he wasn’t asleep. You moved your left hand across the bed and he sighed as he moved his right hand out toward yours.

“I’d just turned fucking 20.” He grumbled softly. “Had no fucking business getting married. I was just a fucking kid and we were fucking high school sweethearts. Just Goddamn kids. She had no idea what she was fucking marrying into. She lasted about three years before she took off. Moved to fucking France on my dime. And I just fucking wrote her off. Told people she had fucking kicked it. Shut my fucking heart behind a mother fucking wall and didn’t dare think twice about letting that wall down. Not until last night.” You rolled your head on the pillow to look at him in the darkened bedroom as he carefully laced his fingers with yours.

“My ma is the only person that knew the fucking truth about that back stabbing cunt. And she would never, ever fucking bring her up unless she was fucking sure that that person was fucking serious about me. Her fucking telling you about Lucille is her subtle fucking way of telling me to get my fucking head out of my ass about you. You know, I laid here all fucking night asking myself why the fuck I wasn’t letting you in after everything we’ve fucking been through together so far. And I didn’t have a fucking answer. Not a single Goddamn word. So, starting today, I’ll let you in if you still fucking wanna be in.” The second you nodded your head, he let go of your hand, moved it to lay across your stomach, and scooted across the mattress to wrap his arms around you. You reached up with your good hand and tangled your fingers in his hair as you kissed his forehead.

“Old Spice.” He said after a few moments. “Original fucking Old Spice and Calvin Klein’s boxer briefs.” Your smile grew as you rested your cheek on his head.

“Thank you.” He nodded his head and kissed your scared shoulder with a smile.

“Of course, baby girl.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So what the fuck are you dragging me to again?” Negan called out from your bathroom that he had partially taken over as you tried on yet another dress; a cream colored dress with an intricate red pattern.

“It’s an art auction for St. Jude.” You called out as you walked over Chewie and his shoe shaped squeaky toy. “And I have had my eye on this painting of New York by a man named Van Tame for weeks to go in the library to replace that God awful one above the fire place. What about this one?” Negan looked at you through the mirror as he brushed his teeth and shook his head.

“Too naked. I like the white one.” You rolled your eyes as you looked at yourself in the mirror, only partially agreeing with the nearly naked aspect of it.

“What about that long green grey-ish one? I really like that one.”

“Fuckin’ green one would make it a little easier for you to walk, baby girl.” He said as you headed back into the closet to change once again. “And you could get away with fucking flats.” You nodded in agreement as you stepped over Chewie again and took off the naked dress. “What do you think the painting’s going for?”

“It’s estimated about twenty-five grand. But I know that bitch, Lady Ratchet cunt face is going to do everything she can to out bid me for it. She does it every fucking year.”

“So I’ll fucking kill her.” Negan said easily, causing you to laugh as you slipped the dress over your head, being mindful of of your already finished up-do.

“You’re not gunna kill her, baby.” You giggled as you lifted your dress and headed out of the closet so he could zip you up. “That mob shit doesn’t work on the Upper East.”

“Well it fucking could.” He chuckled as he zipped up the A-line, transparent lace dress.

“Not today.” You said in a sing song voice as you stepped into your black flats and turned to finish your makeup since you settled on your dress. “Today, you are an upstanding gentleman.”

“How fucking boring.” He joked as he grabbed his shirt and tie off the door knob. “Is this how it’s always gunna be?”

“Very much so.” You said as you held out your mascara for him to twist the top for you since your left hand wasn’t completely up to par but at least sans cast. “I miss my boring life, thank you. Getting your ass handed to you takes a lot outta a girl.”

“Yea, her fucking boyfriend, too.” He agreed with a smirk. “Carrying you around all the fucking time…” You scowled at him through the mirror as he slowly tied his tie in front of his chest.

“You’re an asshole.” He chuckled and finished his tie so he could close your mascara for you.

“You fucking love me all the same.” You threw on some red lipstick and smacked your lips together before turning to Negan with a smile. “Ready?”

“To be fucking tortured? No.”

——

“Lot number 119. ‘Street Scene on Fifth Avenue’ by Van Tame.”

“This one.” You said softly as you sat up a little straighter in your chair to see the painting you were there to purchase. You could see Ms. Bradbury sit up a little when you did out of the corner of your eye as the painting was set on the easel at the front of the room. “Fuck you, bitch. It’s mine.” You said under your breath as you picked up your paddle.

“Let me see it.” Negan said beside you as he took the paddle from your hand. “See if she’s willing to go fucking toe to toe with me.”

“Don’t go over two million.” You said softly as the starting bid was set at fifteen grand.

“I’ll go as high as she’ll fucking run it but I’m winning this damn painting for you.” He said as he raised your paddle for seventeen grand. You glanced over Mrs. Bradbury, who looked as confused as ever as she raised her paddle for seventeen seventy-five. A smug smile stretched across your face as you sat back in your chair while Negan placed the next bid at eighteen twenty-five.

“I think she’s scared of you.” You whispered as a woman a few rows in front of you placed the next bid only for her husband to scold her softly for doing so.

“She fucking better be.” He said as he placed nineteen thousand. Mrs. Bradbury went to lift her paddle in the air and Negan’s head whipped over in her direction. His eyes narrowed threateningly as she placed the nineteen twenty-five bid and she startled as she looked back over at you. He raised your paddle for the next twenty five hundred dollar jump and silently dared her to continue. You looked away from her with a smile that threatened to break your cheeks as the final call for bids was announced.

“Sold to the gentleman in the back of the room.”

“There you go, baby girl.” Negan said proudly as he handed you back your paddle.

“You are my painting savior.” You said as you grabbed your handbag from the chair beside you and tapped his side. “Come on. Let’s pay and go celebrate our victory.”

#Negan x Reader #The Unexpected Protector #Negan thirst squad #Negan's thirst squad

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dodikawouk · 3 years ago

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The Download: a battle is raging over long covid in children

This is today’s edition of The Download, our weekday newsletter that provides a daily dose of what’s going on in the world of technology.

A battle is raging over long covid in children

Before Jasmin got covid-19 last year, she was an especially active 10-year-old. She loved dancing, swimming, and gymnastics. “She was always upside-down, doing handstands,” says her mother, Binita Kane. Although she only had a mild case of the virus, she developed lasting, debilitating symptoms that kept her out of school. Jasmin, now 11, has abandoned her activities. Today, she uses a wheelchair.

Jasmin is one of an unknown number of children with long covid. She regularly suffers from fevers, a sore throat, weak and achy limbs, dizziness, and exhaustion, but the symptoms of long covid in children vary greatly. We don’t know how many children are affected, and we don’t know which symptoms result from infections, and which were caused indirectly by the pandemic. Scientists can’t even agree over what it means for children to have long covid.

This is more than just an academic spat. The lack of understanding means that, two years into the pandemic, potentially millions of sick children are still not getting the treatments they need. Read the full story.

—Jessica Hamzelou

The must-reads

I’ve combed the internet to find you today’s most fun/important/scary/fascinating stories about technology.

1 Stop saying Ukraine is winning the information war Look beyond the West, and you’ll see Russian disinformation is gaining a worrying amount of traction. (The Atlantic $) + Russia is targeting internet users who speak Spanish. (ABC) + Twitter has limited content from more than 300 official Russian government accounts. (BBC) + Russia has become a major target for hackers. (NBC) + Russian troops seem to have tortured and murdered civilians in the town of Trostianets. (The Guardian)

2 Protection from second boosters wanes quickly, a large study found

But protection against severe infection seems to hold up. (Reuters $) + Could computer models help us to make better covid vaccines? (Nature) + Covid deaths may rise among older people in England, experts have warned. (The Guardian)

3 Elon Musk is going to join Twitter’s board Instantly shattering any illusion he was going to sit quietly and collect his dividends. (WSJ $) + We can expect him to push for his version of free speech. (The Atlantic $) + This is going to be yet another headache for regulators. (WSJ $) + Twitter is going to get an edit button. (NBC)

4 The global impact of the invasion of Ukraine is becoming clearer Higher energy and food prices are going to have far-reaching consequences around the world. (Nature) + Surging food prices will exact a huge toll on poorer countries, for example Sri Lanka. (The Economist $) + European companies are struggling to adjust to sanctions. (NYT $) + German law enforcement agencies have shut down a vast Russian-language dark web site. (Wired $)

5 Women face relentless misogynistic abuse on Instagram And it seems the platform does very little about it. (WP $) + Why are so many gaming communities still so toxic? (FT $) + A feminist internet would be better for everyone. (TR)

6 The Amazon union wave may just be starting Staff at more than 50 US warehouses have contacted organizers expressing an interest in creating unions of their own. (The Guardian) 7 Elizabeth Warren is frustrated by the lack of progress to break up Big Tech She’s not the only one. (Recode) + Big Tech firms aren’t going to stop tracking you voluntarily. (NYT $)

8 Can we teach computers common sense? It’s much harder than it sounds. (New Yorker $) + Meta’s new learning algorithm can teach AI to multi-task. (TR)

9 NFT-based portrait piracy is a growing problem Who’s making money off your image? (Wired $) 10 Google Docs is getting emoji reactions

(The Verge)

Quote of the day

“I’m just wiped out. I don’t know how I used to do it.”

—Lauren Scott, a 37-year-old assistant at a media company, tells the Washington Post that even going into the office three days a week feels exhausting after two years of fully remote work.

We can still have nice things

A place for comfort, fun and distraction in these weird times. (Got any ideas? Drop me a line or tweet ’em at me.)

+ This TikTok of a guy being fed a five-course meal via conveyor belt is horrifying and amazing in equal measure. + No way I’m going to share any controversial food takes on Twitter, but I’m enjoying reading other people’s. + Prince had masses of respect for teachers. + You can book castles (yes, actual castles) on Airbnb. + The Bob’s Burgers movie looks like chaos. Fun, silly chaos. + Christy Lee Rogers takes photos of people underwater, and they look totally otherworldly. + Tetris, but everyone gets to vote on the next move. + The Wordle clones just keep coming. This one’s for guessing movies. + A train is an excellent way to travel around Europe. + Love surfing? Get yourself over to North Devon.

from MIT Technology Review https://ift.tt/yzWBLXa via IFTTT

#MIT Technology Review

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freelance7 · 7 years ago

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All Hallows Write

Hey there, it’s that guy who barely posts updates about his novel here. Still in Chapter 6, but in the meantime, I wanted to have a little fun.

Recently, @skasse made a tag called All Hallows Write, where you take your novel’s cast and answer ten questions that are Halloween related. I saw it through @bellarosepope‘s blog, so her unending enthusiasm influenced me to do this. I saw this as a fun way to actually get you guys to know what my book is about and who makes up the cast. Apologies if it seems kinda...lacking. I have the characters fairly well fleshed out, but I just don’t want to give away too much.

The Rules:

#1 – Provide a BRIEF description of your novel before starting. LONDEN JADE is a post-cyberpunk thriller about a newly-made private investigator named Londen Jade Krane, getting her first major case: a missing child. What she initially thinks to be a rather easy case evolves into a manifestation of kidnap, murder, and a child with dangerous potential. (Literally wrote that on the spot)

#2 – Don’t use the same character for more than 3 answers.

The Questions:

1. It’s Halloween night! What is your protagonist dressed up as?

Londen isn’t the kind of girl to go with the sexy variations of men’s costumes. She’s a simple lady with simple tastes. She is dressed up as Sherlock Holmes, and has dressed up as him for the past fifteen years.

2. Who in your cast refuses to dress up and shows up at the Halloween party without a costume?

Probably the police detective, and Londen’s temporary partner Jensin Risinger. He believes he is too old for that kind of stuff, even when he is faced with a bunch of people around his age dressed up for the occasion.

3. Which character wears the most outrageous costume, and what would it be?

Royal, the owner of the well renown Hotline Nightclub. She is one to put herself out there like that. She’d wear something 1920′s themed, like a flapper outfit with a low neckline and short skirt. She’d forgo wearing undergarments to feel authentic. Nobody wants it to be authentic.

4. On Halloween, werewolves, vampires, and zombies are on the prowl. Which of your characters gets caught in their clutches, and which creature do they subsequently turn into?

Miriam, the hacker that assists Londen and Jensin. She would be a good vampire, since she doesn’t like going out often.

5. Who wins the contest for best costume?

Ross, Londen’s neighbor. This year, he had been really into adding fire aspects into his art, so he created a fire nymph outfit with holographic flames. People stood back, thinking the flames were real.

6. Who hands out toothbrushes to the trick and treaters?

Jensin. No doubt. He is too responsible and not really that well connected with kids to give them candy. So he just gives them toothbrushes. They’re the cheap vibrating kind, so at least it’s not generic?

7. Which two of your characters decide to pair up and do an angel/devil costume together?

If Jensin decides to dress, it would be him and his boyfriend Nathan. Jensin would be the devil, and Nathan the angel.

8. Someone is too scared to even attend the Halloween party. Who is it?

Miriam. Poor girl gets shy when there’s too many people. Londen would definitely leave the party to go hang out with her though.

9. Who overdoses on Halloween candy and ends up sick?

Londen. Skittles are her jam, dude. Unfortunately, they are too much her jam, so she eats a lot of them. Jensin would have to bring her home.

10. Which character is most likely to place a curse/hex on someone and who would they curse?

Royal would probably be the one that’s into curses. She’d curse Londen. Probably some curse that gets her to somehow fall in love with Royal. Royal really likes Londen. Too bad she doesn’t return the feelings Tagging: The only person I know that is writing something would be @officialtrashbin...so it’s gonna be you, girl.

#all hallows write #allhallowswrite #writing tag #tag #writing #halloween #londen jade

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poipoi1912 · 8 years ago

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Stabler-centric thoughts on Ep 18x13

Transformation complete. From Nu Munch to Nu Stabler, in just 13 episodes!

Seriously though, surprisingly long post ahead: (I would cut it down, but I don’t have the time or the patience)

Carisi-centric thoughts on Ep 18x13

First things first: what the fuck happened to Barba's chocolates? Biggest disappointment of the night. The official SVU account is not to be trusted.

Overall thoughts

Decent episode. It had some issues*, but it was reasonably, well, not terrible. Probably a little above average for Season 18’s standards.

*starting with the issues, to get them out of the way: too much rapist(s), not enough victim. We got to see if the rapist (the first rapist) was “okay” with a plea for rape 2, and he “admirably” said he deserved that punishment, but we never got to see if the victim was okay with that. We never got to see the victim again, period. We don’t know if and how she is coping. She was a total afterthought. We did see the other victims, during the trial, but that was just to poke holes in their stories. It seems that’s the only reason we ever see a victim, in S18. Not to see how they can overcome their rape as survivors, but to make them appear unreliable for the sake of plot twists.

Anyway.

Barba thoughts

I joke about Sonny going from Munch to Stabler, but I’m not joking when I say that Barba is going from Cabot to Novak. Seriously, Barba went from fierce and flawless Ice Queen Alexandra Cabot, who won every case and didn’t give a shit, to earnest but messy Casey Novak, a half-decent lawyer who loses every other case but it's okay because we love her. and i do love her :’)

Barba doesn’t really lose cases, but he never wins them on his own merits (with the sole exception of Making a Rapist, when he got the mother’s testimony on the stand, about 7 years ago, when that episode aired). It’s always Liv, saving the day. Even in episodes which are spent mostly in the courtroom, there are no legal victories. No big moment in which Barba argues the fuck out of a case. He just utters a few snarky tidbits like “Bunny,” so we can all admire Raul’s sass, and then he loses (like he lost the motion about confidentiality) or he wins because of something Liv did.

Has Barba gone soft, not to mention less competent, on purpose, or is this poor characterization? that’s a rhetorical question btw

The Legal Side of SVU

Why does this season waste all these semi-interesting cases? Why did we spend the entire rape trial debunking the victim statements, instead of watching Barba argue the law? I was expecting the “rape gene” theory to figure more heavily into the trial, but it never did. Why not? Why waste that opportunity?

The earlier scene with the minister on the stand, that was way more fun to watch (mostly because it didn’t involve victim-blaming). Why do all these cases, which could be considered vague (and therefore exciting) from a legal standpoint, get reduced to arguing the boring facts, like a suspect’s height? Same thing happened with Imposter, an episode which could have been a million times more interesting, if only it had focused on the law.

For instance, Sonny suggested another case offscreen, and Barba dismissed it offscreen, and we never got to find out what it was. Why bother introducing legally murky cases if you're not going to bother presenting the arguments? Rick Eid is a lawyer, but I can barely tell from watching. He only scrapes the surface. I'm a much younger lawyer, and totally inexperienced when it comes to criminal law, and I still routinely come up with, like, three more things Barba could have done or said in each episode.

But, in fairness, I do have to say the minister/confidentiality theory, as well as the AA comparison, that was actually smart. It was the only unique touch in terms of plot, and they even set it up well, with the prayer, or whatever that was, as Rollins and Carisi were surveilling the group on that earlier scene. That raised my expectations, as did Barba’s argument that the guy was a only being a minister as a hobby (now that’s a fun argument to make!), so the return to mundane victim blaming later on disappointed me even more.

On to Sonny:

Sonny’s Temper

I've said it before (and used the SpongeBob gifs to illustrate it), but there is nothing in Sonny's characterization this season that could be viewed as an organic progression of the Sonny from Seasons 16 and 17. Nor has there been anything plot- or character-related which would justify such a stark change (please no one mention Dodds unless you want to make me laugh).

When is the last time Sonny cracked a smile that wasn’t sarcastic? Remember when Amaro was the angry stereotype, and he'd argue with Barba or Amanda, and Sonny would try to defuse the situation with a joke? Now Sonny has picked up the mantle of Angry Cop. Which, I mean... Sonny, gurl, if Amanda freakin’ Rollins has to scold you about being insubordinate to your superiors, that means you’ve taken it about eighteen steps too far (wait, do the writers remember how she used to talk back to Liv and Dodds? Probably not.)

Sonny and Empathy

Where? 👀 Shouldn’t Sonny have talked to that Will kid more gently? Instead of saying “I’m not a priest or a shrink, just gimme the information, goddammit”? Sonny usually cozies up to perps. This kid wasn’t even a criminal, and Sonny was treating him aggressively, when it was obvious he was fragile and would probably respond better to a milder approach. Which brings me to:

Sonny and Continuity

Sonny told Will (still in a very pointed way, when I was expecting a more casual, if not cordial approach) that the “next” rape “will be on him,” if he didn’t testify. Might that be a callback to Sonny’s own guilt, since he believes the fact his bully murdered someone is “on him”? Even though that’s wrong? And it was extra wrong to lay that kind of a guilt trip on this Will kid? Or did the writers forget about Sonny’s past already?

The Barisi Corner

Barba gave Sonny a sassy look! Because Sonny over-explained a legal matter to show off! And then he sarcastically thanked Sonny! Classic S16 material. We are blessed!

“I don’t care about Barba”

Seriously though, Sonny said "I don't care about Barba", meaning he cares about the case more, or about the victim, even if that means making a colleague mad. And that’s fair, especially in the heat of the moment. But this is coming a week after Barba's secret is (almost?) revealed, at least according to the original production order. What can we deduce from that?

I'd like to think (the old) Sonny would be more considerate when talking to a colleague who had recently been compromised, or gone through some type of emotional hardship. So, maybe Barba's secret never actually comes out? Maybe we learn it, as the audience, but it doesn't go public, so Barba ends up worrying over nothing?

Barba obviously doesn't lose his job, so maybe no one finds out (other than Liv, of course, because from that promo we know she tells Barba about the hacker). What if Sonny doesn't find out at all, and he doesn't even get to learn Barba has a secret to begin with? Could Barba's storyline run in parallel to the "main" case, with no other characters (other than Liv, of course) involved? That would be both disappointing (because the writers would be wasting yet another opportunity to integrate Barba and show he is a valued member of the team) and unsurprising (because, S18).

Of course there’s another option; maybe continuity is a non-factor and the writers just never bothered to write anything to further the “Barba’s secret” storyline past that one episode :D

Sonny’s Temper, Vol. 2

As Amanda noted, Sonny totally overreacted during that argument. Why would that be? Does he really think he knows better than Barba, on whether or not jurisprudence from another state is applicable or relevant? Like, that’s not an “opinion,” Sonny. And, even if it were, it’s Barba’s opinion which defines the prosecution’s strategy. If Sonny wants to make these decisions, he should quit the force and start prosecuting perps himself.

Which brings me to:

Sonny and the Law

Dare I hope that’s what the argument was about? Is Sonny getting increasingly frustrated with the fact his job ends when he arrests a perp? That would be a great way to bring back his dilemma about becoming a prosecutor. This type of long-running professional frustration would perfectly explain why he snapped like that. It wasn’t about him knowing better than Barba, it was about him wishing he could be doing Barba’s job. Or even thinking he should be doing it.

Apparently, Sonny researched the case, and he came up with an idea which he presented to Barba offscreen, thinking it could save the day. That’s going above and beyond, from a cop’s perspective. And then Barba rejected his idea without a single word, also offscreen, and that pissed him off. Maybe Sonny felt underappreciated, in terms of his legal skills. He is a licensed attorney, but he is not treated as such. Problem is, he is not a prosecutor, he is a cop, and that’s how he should be treated.

So, what if Sonny’s constant sour mood is because he’s unhappy where he is? Because he wants to do more, from a different position? Maybe that’s the reason for his changed demeanor, and it will be explicitly dealt with near the end of the season. lol yes I’m reaching for the stars, Sonny’s law aspirations will probably never be mentioned again

Stray Thoughts

Greg Germann was awesome! So evil and hot. Strauss gave Buchanan a run for his money. By the way, remember when he was an ADA? lol neither do the SVU writers. Why didn’t Barba at least tease him, for switching sides? Like he did to Calhoon (except for her it was the other way around, when she advocated for that victim in that one episode). It would have taken three seconds, and it would have added context.

What's that? Barba also had an abusive father? lol no one cares or remembers :D

Okay but, when Liv just popped up on that roof, out of fuckin’ nowhere, to deliver some angst and sell her backstory, totally overshadowing that kid? Classic Liv! (srsly tho she was great in this episode :D)

Speaking of, why didn’t we get a close-up of Sonny on that roof, after he found out about Liv’s history? He was right there! And that, too, would have taken three seconds. I was craning my neck to see his reaction, even though it was off-camera, lol. What a wasted opportunity to show how much he cares about Liv. Oh, and Amanda apparently found out offscreen (as if Liv would ever tell her, lol). This season does not give a single fuck about the squad dynamics.

Peter needs to do that botox thing people do between their eyebrows for their “11” lines, he’ll get wrinkles if he keeps frowning like that in every single one of his close-ups.

Amanda’s coats keep slaying me.

What a waste of Bill Irwin.

That first defense attorney is my fave! I wish he’d been in more scenes!

#sonny carisi #rafael barba #svu #barisi #not really lol but #episode thoughts #long post #this is huge #sorry i'm not sorry #i typed it on my phone #and now i'm posting it with minimal editing #no time to polish it #i get verbose when i'm stressed #well #more verbose than normal lol #i love you all

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ivisitlondon · 6 years ago

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iVisit.... Sci-Fi-London

UK: London, Wednesday 10th April 2019 - Today the SCI-FI-LONDON FILM FESTIVAL2019 launches its stellar 19th annual programme which will run from 15th May until 22nd May across London with eight days of amazing film, immersive experiences and more. It will showcase a fantastic lineup with 4 world film premieres, 11 UK film premieres, 11 world short premieres and 13 UK short premieres. It will host 17 features, 36 shorts and 7 VR shorts alongside its regular classic cult events such as the 48 HOUR FILM CHALLENGE and SCI-FIDO, the world’s only cosplay for dogs! Opening this year’s festival on the 15th May at the Prince Charles Cinema is the UK Premiere of PERFECT– a film that sends us tripping into a science fiction world like no other. Directed by Eddie Alcazar (KUSO) it is unclear if the young man (Garrett Wareing) has committed the horrible crime, but his mother (Abbie Cornish) sends him to a luxurious retreat full of beautiful hedonistic people for therapy. He will receive an experimental treatment to cure his ills and discover his true self. His mother has been there, but does she want to help him become ‘perfect’? Frenetic editing, soul shocking set-pieces and some eye-popping animation by Kidmograph, PERFECT alternates between calm and chaos, and picks at themes of AI, genetic engineering and esotericism. With its super-heightened visuals worthy of Gasper Noe, production design that DAZED would find hard to beat and a stunning soundtrack by Flying Lotus, this is ALTERED STATES for the iGeneration. "Steven Soderbergh presents an overwhelming sensory assault”. ScreenAnarchy

The festival’s Closing Night on the 22nd May at Stratford Picturehouse is the World Premiere of THE RIZEN: POSSESSION directed by Matt Mitchell and starring Julian Rhind-Tutt, Sarine Sofair, Adrian Edmondson and Sally Phillips. In 1955, NATO and the Allied Forces conducted secret, occult experiments in a bid to win the Arms Race. They succeeded, but what they unleashed almost tore our world apart and sent a human through a portal to somewhere very alien. This was the story of THE RIZEN, our closing night premiere in 2017. Come forward to now, and a group of urban explorers is exploring the abandoned bunker. But will they and a private military unit sent in after them, become the final pieces in a 60-year plan to reopen a door that should have stayed closed. "Violent and witty in equal amounts, this is a very British sci-fi horror." SFL

‘Join the conversation at MyFilmClub, search Clubs for ‘Sci-Fi-London Film Festival’ Download FREE on iTunes and Google Play

SCI-FIDO – THE WORLD’S, ONLY COSPLAY FOR DOGS EVENT, returns this year on Saturday 18th May outside the Prince Charles Cinema, Leicester Square, in association with DOGSTARPHOTO and ALL DOGS MATTER for the Crufts of Science fiction! Do you have a four-legged friend who likes to dress up as a sci-fi character? Or a pooch that looks like Princess Leia? Bring them along to our ‘dressed-up dog’ photo session! Augmented, virtual, enhanced, trans or multimedia – it’s ‘mixed up’. A few brands have led the way - adding a VR thing here, an AR thing there – but does it make any difference and does this usual corporate approach get to the audience in a way that makes them care? #HACKSTOCK: 5 on the 16th – 18th May at festival’s secret HQ is our answer – bringing creators, makers, disrupters, artists, musicians, hackers, developers and you together in one place to talk it, think it, do it and play with it. And it’s Free! We have every flavour of headset - from cardboard to Magic Leap and a myriad of other toys to play with.

Access to the Hackstock playground is by password only, register on the festival website for the details.

Other major Film Premiere Galas this year include the World Premiere of SHED OF THE DEAD, directed by Drew Cullingham, it’s darkly funny, gruesome and a little bit rude! Shaun of the Dead meets The Archers. Trevor (Spencer Brown) doesn’t really like gardening but has an allotment in which he spends his days avoiding his overbearing wife. Most of his time in his shed is spent painting figurines for wargames he plays with his friend, Graham (Ewen MacIntosh), both of them dreaming and arguing about their gaming alter-egos. One day, Mr Parsons, one of the other allotment tenants, knocks with a petition to have Trevor evicted as his plot is a disgrace. After what should have been a simple argument, Trevor is left with a corpse to hide. Unfortunately, this untimely accident coincides with the Zombie Apocalypse and Mr Parsons' return is just the start of Trevor's problems. More pressing is whether or not he should try and save his wife (Lauren Socha) and her beautiful best friend (Emily Booth), who both he and Graham have a thing for... The film also features a little BDSM fun provided by Michael Berryman. Celebrating its World Premiere, AFTER WE LEAVE is a brilliant début for director Aleem Hossain, a vibrant script, satisfying special effects and outstanding performances – the type of film this festival searches for every year. Near future, Los Angeles is a bleak place: permanent recession, water shortages, and rising crime. Six years ago, Jack abandoned his wife and vanished. Now he's back because before he left, they'd applied for a visa to immigrate to a better life on an off-world colony. The permit has finally come through, but there's a catch: it's a couple’s visa, and Jack cannot leave Earth without his wife. Is Jack back because he wants to make things right or because he needs his wife so he can use this "lottery ticket" to a better life? Another World Premiere is THE TANGLE, a brilliant sci-fi noir written and directed by Christopher Soren Kelly and stars Jessica Graham (Crazy Bitches) and Nicole Da Silva(Wentworth) In the near future, the TANGLE, an AI with airborne nanotech, connects the world. The Tangle is benevolent; it has stopped crime, keeps us well and safe. But to make sure it never turns rogue a government agency watches over them from within technology safe rooms, locations impermeable to the nanobots that make up the Tangle. When field agent Margot Foster is found dead in one of these rooms, the agency needs to investigate the first murder in years. Also having its world premiere is ZOO-HEAD, directed by Navin Dev. With the aesthetic of TRAINSPOTTING and the weirdness of GROUNDHOG DAY, this is a strong debut from Dev, with great performances and awesome techno soundtrack to boot. Charlie is a zoo-head, a slang term given to junkies addicted to a powerful hallucinogenic that has memory munching side-effects. Squatting in a foetid apartment and existing on benefits, Charlie is a mess, and it is about to get worse. The Social Service is forcing the long-term unemployed to under-go radically experimental treatment to get them ‘normalised’; the only danger would be to zoo-heads. Charlie gets called in and lies about his situation, and so begins his treatment.

UK Premieres include: FONOTUNE: AN ELECTRIC FAIRYTALE Dir: Fint, 2018, Japan/Germany, 74mins, Japanese/German (English subtitles). The world will end soon, so what to do? Outside of time, a teen hooker, lo-fi cowboy and a mute drifter cross the white desert to experience the final performance of the mysterious rockstar hero. This visually stunning work MUST be seen on the big screen. Its soundtrack will leave you humming and tapping for days to come, and its beautiful production design burns your brain. The film stars Kiki Sukezane (Westworld) and features performances by Guitar Wolf Seiji and Stereo Total.

"Is it daft punk? Is it THX? No, it is FONOTUNE, and you will never forget it." SFL

ALIEN ADDICTION Dir: Shae Sterling, 2018, New Zealand, 90mins, English. New Zealand is beautiful, and often we only see the ‘Lord of the Rings’ landscapes and not the everyday life of your average stoner. Riko (Jimi Jackson) lives in a small town in the middle of nowhere (Waikato, New Zealand). Life was pretty normal until two aliens crash-landed near Riko’s house. He welcomes the aliens, and together they develop an intergalactic relationship of epic proportions.

"Raw and real as Peter Jackson's "Bad Taste", more bro' than Taika Waititi's "Boy", and up there with Kevin Smith's "Clerks" as a debut indie film. Garth Bray, Amazon" SFL

AXCELLERATOR Dir: David Giancola, 2019, 93mins, USA Dane (RYAN WESEN) was going to steal one last car before he quit forever, but is disturbed by Tomas, an inventor being chased by the police, the F.B.I., and the C.I.A. Trapped in the manic crossfire, Tomas passes a device to Dane, who is teleported miles away into the arms of Kate (LAURA JAMES, S*W*A*T). She could be the girl of his dreams except for the global conspiracy he has just embroiled her in. The FBI’s Ray Moritz (MAXWELL CAULFIELD, Grease 2) wants to destroy it, Amanda Graham (SEAN YOUNG, Blade Runner) wants it for the C.I.A., and rogue agent Sy Devol (JOHN JAMES, Dynasty) has his sinister plans. Sy unleashes his brutal assassin, Brink (SAM J. JONES, Flash Gordon) who leaves a trail of corpses behind him while pursuing the ‘Axcellerator’ device. To stay alive, Dane and Kate must discover the Axcellerator’s secret. An exhilarating rollercoaster ride reminiscent of 80s blockbusters – a classic, fun action thriller.

John James is confirmed to attend, others TBA.

AFTER THE LETHARGY Dir: Marc Carrete, 2018, 82mins, SPAIN Sara, a journalist with a keen interest in UFOs, receives a video from a paranormal researcher, talking about a hotspot for landings and sightings. She travels to the forest to meet the researcher and meets the park ranger who tells her of a dark character who lives alone deep in the woods and the abandoned retreat. Soon she discovers the truth about the UFo sightings and must fight for her life.

"All-out monster, promising a mesmerising mix of terror and adventure" Bloody Disgusting "Takes hybridisation to extremely graphic proportions' Dread Central

"Old school sci-fi horror at its finest, great twists and turns, seat of the pants thrills and some truly gross-out moments." SFL

THE FINAL LAND Dir: Marcel Barion, 2019, 113mins, Germany, German (English subtitles) Across the bleak wilderness, the prisoner has escaped, looking for a rumoured ship that might get him off-world. One of his pursuers discovers him aboard the craft and instead of turning him in declares he also wants a way out and together they fly away. But who built the ship and where did it come from, more importantly, where are the crew? As they try to answer these questions, they hear a strange signal and obsessing on its origin head toward it. This feature debut by Barion is a testament to what performance and pragmatic use of resources can achieve. At times it feels like ALIEN, at others like 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY.

"An outstanding science fiction story that never once reveals a low budget." SFL

LAST SUNRISE Dir: Wen Ren, 2018, 104mins, China, Mandarin (English subtitles) In a future reliant on solar energy, the world falls into chaos after the sun disappears, the skies are lit only by the stars and the temperature is rapidly dropping; eventually, oxygen on Earth will be exhausted. Yang, a reclusive astronomer, and Mu, a neighbour he hardly knows, must find their way to a supposed sanctuary located in District Four. Ren’s debut film has a unique take on end of days stories with spectacularly realised special effects showing how different our world, and everything that we take for granted in it, would look in the absence of the Sun.

"It is fantastic to see China producing high concept and stylish indie sci-fi, don’t miss this one." SFL

MAJIC Dir: Erin Berry, 2019, 82mins, CANADA Bernwood (Paula Brancati, Slashers) is an anti-conspiracy video blogger. She spends all her time debunking conspiracy theory until she gets a note from an old man claiming to have worked for the legendary Majestic-12 (aka majic), a secret US spy agency, created after the UFO incident at Roswell, New Mexico in 1947. So begins her trip down the rabbit hole looking for answers as reality as she seems to know it is unravelling.

"Sitting squarely in X-files territory and plays brilliantly with alternate realities and what we perceive to be real" SFL

UK premiere (stranger > fiction doc strand) ARTIST DEPICTION Dir: Brett Ryan Bonowicz, 2018, USA, 82mins, English. Conceptual artists Don Davis, Charles Lindsay, and Rick Guidice have helped bring NASA projects to life. Their incredible pioneering artwork, which helped define the aesthetics of futurism and space travel, is ubiquitous; and yet these artists have always been hidden behind the scenes until now. The second documentary that Bonowicz has had at the festival, last year we screened CLOSER THAN WE THINK about conceptual artist Arthur Radebaugh. Again, Bonowicz delivers a love-letter to concept art and design.

If you’ve got an eye on the future, then learn about those who’ve helped shape it. SFL

CHASING EINSTEIN (stranger > fiction doc strand) Dir: Timothy Wheeler and Steve Brown, 2019, 81mins, USA Einstein's vision of gravity has shaped our understanding of the universe for the 100 years since Eddington confirmed his theory in 1919. Nobody has succeeded in challenging Einstein's theory despite its startling conclusion that the vast majority of gravity must be caused by an invisible form of ‘matter’ that has yet to be detected. The search for this missing "Dark Matter" will either confirm Einstein or disrupt a century of physics. Following leading scientists including Nobel Laureates on the brink of paradigm-shifting discoveries, CHASING EINSTEIN travels behind the scenes of some of the most extraordinary experiments ever created to probe the mysteries of the dark universe (LIGO, CERN, XENON 1T). Will Einstein stand the test of time, or will a controversial new theory change the way that we see the universe?

Finally, we are delighted to have the London Premiere of LUCID, directed by Adam Morse, 2018, 86mins, UK A young man practices an experimental form of therapy after his enigmatic neighbour offers to help him overcome social anxiety and win the girl of his dreams. Isolated in a big city with no friends, young Zel simultaneously fears and craves intimacy. He has a pitiful obsession with a dancer called Jasmine and is caught spying on her by an eccentric neighbour Elliot (Billy Zane) who offers to help him win her heart. Lust leads Zel on an intense subliminal adventure as Elliot teaches him how lucid dreaming can be used to practice the art of seduction but will Zel be able to charm Jasmine in reality? This thought-provoking film, with great cinematography and luscious production design, will stay with you for a long time.

We will have the main cast and director in attendance for a Q&A. https://youtu.be/qTjBWxhletQ

For the full line up visit the website: sci-fi-london.com #SFL19

#SFL #Sci Fi London #Prince Charles Cinema #SFL19

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swipestream · 6 years ago

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New Release Roundup, 1 December 2018: Science Fiction

Balboa takes on all comers in war, computer hackers crack the human brain, a near-immortal alien bumbles through galactic politics, and Britain’s fleets take to space once more in this week’s roundup of the newest releases in science fiction.

Bound by Honor (Vigilante #4) – Terry Mixon and Glynn Stewart

An enemy of newfound strength. A friend gone missing in the night. A threat that can be ignored no more.

Brad Madrid, Commodore of the Vikings Mercenary Company, has once again been drawn into the war against the resurgent Cadre. Called into action in battles across the Solar System, from the fogs of Venus to the ice fields of Ceres, he faces deadly enemies at every turn.

In the midst of the chaos, Brad learns that his Agency contact and partner, Kate Falcone, has gone missing before she could deliver the evidence of treason she carried. With millions of lives at stake, finding her cannot be his first priority, but he searches as he goes.

Then an old enemy shares a poisonous gift as they flee from battle: the Cadre doesn’t have Kate Falcone. They know who does, however, and the hints they give Brad lead him to the one place he thought he would never make war…

Empire Ascendant (Road To Empire #2) – Dietmar Arthur Wehr

The grand experiment of a democratic Commonwealth of Star Nations has failed. With colony after colony leaving the Commonwealth, Earth finds itself in desperate straits as ecological disaster and mass starvation looms in the near future. The collapse of the Commonwealth means there’s now a power vacuum but no shortage of ruthless egos looking to fill that vacuum. Will it be the Republic of Corona, the most prosperous and populous colony world or a resurgent Earth under a messianic leader or perhaps a power-hungry interstellar corporation?

The ten year old Tau Ceti Empire is at a critical junction. The power vacuum left over from the collapse of the Commonwealth has been filled by five multi-planet star nations, the TCE being one of them. If the other four join forces and attack the TCE, it will be overwhelmed and crushed. But the longer Empress Brandenburg waits, the bigger the difference in military strength becomes. She must make plans soon because the leaders of the other four are already making theirs.

Who will ultimately stand astride a unified human star empire?

Hard Luck Hank: Dumber Than Dead (Hard Luck Hank #7) – Steven Campbell

Hank is getting married!

The space station Belvaille has become home to a species of actors. The newest edition to the Post Colmarian Confederation are the Damakan race. As a species they are capable of “broadcast empathy.” Their acting skills are so powerful they are able to make people believe their portrayals are literally happening—even over remote transmission.

Belvaille, with its access to powerful radio telescopes, becomes an entertainment powerhouse, cranking out Damakan dramas and tragedies across the empire. As the city modifies is resources to accommodate the new cash cow, Hank is hired to protect important actors by the city’s premier talent agent: his butler Cliston.

But the good times don’t last as Damakans start getting murdered and whole productions are sabotaged and even outright attacked. The Navy threatens to get involved as their favorite tele programs are interrupted and Garm, the Adjunct Overwatch of the city, enlists Hank to find the source of the violence and put an end to it.

Hank fears his own betrothed is in danger as the city gets dragged into a gang war of which no one knows the cause.

Make Science Fiction Fun Again – Jon Del Arroz

Do you miss the days when science fiction stories meant fun, crazy ideas? When a short fiction collection would entertain you and wow you with its strange, bold worlds? Then you’ll love the leading Hispanic voice in Science Fiction’s debut short fiction collection. With influences ranging from Heinlein, to McCaffrey, to Burroughs, these short stories run a gambit of telling unique stories that couldn’t be published by a major publisher today.

Inside, you’ll find tales of fighting monsters on alien planets, Nazi soldiers stumbling into a futuristic war where all life is at stake, AI coming to life and inhabiting a sexbot’s body, baseball on the moon, and more. It also features an introduction by Castalia House blogger and fan favorite, Daddy Warpig and the first collaboration between Jon Del Arroz and S. Misanthrope in “Unsafe (In) Space”.

Read it now and together we can make science fiction full of wonder again, we can make science fiction entertaining again, and we can Make Science Fiction Fun Again!

Para Bellum (Ark Royal #13) – Christopher Nuttall

On her last mission, HMS Invincible discovered an alien threat beyond human understanding: a sentient virus that has already absorbed a number of intelligent races into its multitude and now intends to do the same to humanity. Defeat means the end of everything, the end of existence as nothing more than mindless host-bodies, the end of humanity and its alien allies alike. The stakes could not be higher.

As a deeply divided humanity struggles to prepare a defence, with enemies inside and outside the human sphere just lurking to strike, Invincible is sent deep into alien space on what should have been a simple reconnaissance mission. But, as Captain Shields and his crew begin their mission, it rapidly becomes clear that a juggernaut is bearing down on Earth …

… And, no matter what they do, they may never make it home again.

A Pillar of Fire by Night (Carerra Series #7) – Tom Kratman

Carrera’s held off his enemies coming by sea from the north, in the process dealing the naval and amphibious forces of the Zhong Empire a stinging defeat. The Zhong won’t soon forget the blood-stained waters and the heaped up bodies on the shores of Balboa’s Isla Real.

Now, though, his adopted country of Balboa is under assault from the east, from the south, from the west, from the air, and from space. The Zhong, smarting from the butchery around the island, have bounced back and forced a lodgment east of the capital. Their lodgment is still a-building but when it is done Carrera can expect several hundred thousand brave and determined Zhong to show up on his barely defended flank.

It’s beginning to look like the game is up for Balboa and Patricio Carrera.

But Carrera’s been planning this war for fifteen years. He certainly hopes his enemies think they’re winning.

The Raygin War – Larry Gerovac

In order to defend against an alien invasion by an advanced race that evolved from Carrion beetles, the military put all its hope into a single person. He’s an old school soldier who started his career as a ground pounder in the Sniper Corps. Mac has been involved in about every conflict the military has participated in.

His skill as a sniper earned him the respect of every soldier who ever worked with him. He is a self taught killer. On the battlefield he has no equal. No one knows his actual body count, but everyone has a story about his skills. Whether it was killing the opponent in hand-to-hand combat, killing them with a weapon, or just plain old out maneuvering them Mac was the best the military had ever seen. If there was a conflict somewhere in the universe you could bet Mac was in the middle of it.

In order to use Mac’s skills to the utmost the Vice Admiral reinstated the old military rank of commodore for him. In times of war a commodore out ranks the vice admiral and even the elected president of the United Federation of Planets. When the Raygin war starts Mac is forced to initiate the War Powers Act making him the most powerful human ever.

Will Mac’s experience and talent be enough to neutralize the alien invasion? All is not what it seems.

Save Point: Upload – Matthew Siege

Adam Harris’s name has just appeared on a top secret list of extraterrestrial origin. Unbeknownst to him, he’s one of a handful of individuals capable of implementing a Save Point, a static moment in time he’s able to revisit over and over upon death.

It’s a good thing, too. Brain cancer was turning into a real drag…

The government owns the list though, and they’ve wasted no time snapping him up. According to them, he has thirteen days in an alien realm to learn as much as he can before the inevitable, at which point his memories, Skill Progressions and Weapon Proficiencies will endure despite his body resetting.

Then it’s rinse and repeat.

But there are unwritten rules to the game he’s about to play, and unseen forces acting in judgment.

Adam will have to learn the hard way that dying is the easiest thing he’s going to do today.

Spyware: It’s Not What You Think – Colin Robertson

Zombies, hackers, and U.S. Senators–what could be scarier? A modern horror sci-fi satire that imagines a world where cable news, social media and other mass media is used to infect the minds of the American public!

Someone has just released a virus capable of infecting the most advanced computer of all — the human brain.

Fortunately, it has been discovered by a brilliant hacker. Unfortunately, that hacker is Eddy Pending.

Eddy isn’t your typical criminal with a dark personal past. He’s far more messed up than that. Eddy’s past a maze of madness, bizarre family members, and truly terrible life choices. So, when the Men in Rose Coloured Glasses show up at his door armed with business cards that can kill, Eddy knows the right thing to do – run! Unfortunately for Eddy, that’s just not going to work. So he might just have to fight back instead.

Uprising (Fugitive Marines Book 4) – David Ryker and Douglas Scott

Double-crossed. Imprisoned. Fighting for their lives.

For the Jarheads of Oberon, it’s just another Tuesday.

But when an old foe reveals that the world is on the brink of a final world war, Quinn realizes they have to accept an impossible mission from someone he can’t trust, to find the one person who can possibly stop the evil schemes of Morley Drake and unite the world against the coming alien invasion. But who can he trust when everyone is looking out for themselves?

Meanwhile, Chelsea’s mind is slowly being poisoned by her father, and it’s up to her friends to navigate the unreal world of cortical reality and save her – and themselves – from a fate worse than attenuation. And all the while, the newly evolved Kergan is closing in on the ultimate weapon that will allow him to create a new interstellar empire on his own – starting with Earth.

New Release Roundup, 1 December 2018: Science Fiction published first on https://medium.com/@ReloadedPCGames

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tinysharkcomputer-blog · 7 years ago

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itsiotrecords-blog · 8 years ago

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The brave agents of the US Secret Service protect the President with their lives, boldly taking bullets, investigating death threats, all the while never once removing their cool sunglasses or smiling in utter glee. Talk about hardcore! But in truth, they’re just human beings, regular employees like any one of us. They just happen to carry really big guns and get insight into the private lives of very public figures. Here are some of the more interesting and captivating stories surrounding the Secret Service.

#1 Abraham Lincoln Created the Secret Service Hours Before He Was Shot Allegedly, Lincoln had personal omens pointing to his assassination, so it really sucks that he only managed to create the Secret Service on the same day he would later die. Lincoln’s actions, however, were not motivated by paranoia. Rather, he created the Secret Service Division on April 14, 1865 in order to stop counterfeiting operations. The legislation was literally on Lincoln’s desk and ready to be put into action. Of course, even if the Secret Service had existed beforehand, it couldn’t have done much to prevent the assassination. There were only a few other federal agencies in action at the time: the US Park Police, Post Office, and the US Marshals. None of these organizations had the manpower to protect the President, so there was no reason to think the Secret Service would either. In those days, Presidents fought off their would-be attackers with a big stick. Even though Lincoln notoriously died from the bullet of an assassin, it would still take another 30+ years, and two more murdered Presidents (James Garfield and William McKinley), for the Government to finally realize “Oh crap, there really are people out there who want to kill the President.” By the time the Secret Service officially became a protection unit in 1908, the President was finally in safe hands.

#2 The Confederacy had a Secret Service Before the Union Did Ironically, the Secret Service of the Confederate States of America was probably far more prepared than the soon-to-be-born US version. During the Civil War, there were a number of secret operations going on, many of which were beyond official warfare. Yes, there was a Cold War and a Civil War going on at the same time. This was necessary from the Confederates’ point of view, since they were outnumbered, out-gunned, and out-resourced in every way. What their operations consisted of, we don’t know. By the time the war was all but lost, the Confederacy destroyed all the paperwork covering their clandestine operations. Whatever inventive strategies they cooked up, they apparently didn’t work too well. Mission to subvert the union through chicanery and espionage: totally failed.

#3 They Created the FBI For all we know, magicians, dragons, and UFOs are 100% real. However, because there was no FBI, and thus no X-Files Unit, until the 1930’s, nobody can ever know for sure. What happened was, the US Department of Justice hired the Secret Service to conduct nationwide investigations beyond the reach of state officials. This led to the official formation of the Bureau of Investigation, which later became the FBI, or the “FEDS” as conspiracy theorists like to call them. Moreover, both of these organizations have to give thanks to the National Bureau of Criminal Identification, which helped federalize the search for state-swapping criminals.

#4 Only One Secret Service Member Has Ever Died on Duty You might think that hundreds, possibly thousands of Secret Service agents have died while performing their highly-dangerous duties. However, despite the many assassination attempts that have happened throughout the years, only one agent ever died on the job. His name was Leslie Coffelt, and he died protecting President Harry Truman on November 1, 1950. Two Puerto Rican extremists invaded Truman’s location (away from the White House while it was under renovation) and tried to shoot him. Coffelt returned fire, but died from his injuries. Unfortunately for Coffelt, Truman felt more pity toward the murderers than the murdered. After the assassination attempt, he commuted the death sentence of the surviving attacker to life in prison. Not even that happened though, as he was later released to return to Puerto Rico. The only person screwed royally here was poor, dead Leslie Coffelt. No wonder the Secret Service continues to pay tribute to the courageous young fellow.

#5 The Secret Service is Not Obligated to Report a Philandering Husband It must be awkward, those conversations between Secret Service men and the President about to get his freak on with some mistress. Ex-Secret Service agents have stated that JFK’s aides would sneak women into the White House for sexual affairs, and that the Secret Service knew about it. In fact, the brave and non-judgmental agents watching Jackie would report back to the President saying Mrs. Kennedy was coming home, so he better hide the toys. Lyndon Johnson, meanwhile, was spoken of even less favorably by the agents, who described him as “uncouth”. The ex-agents interviewed by author Raymond Kessler stated that Lyndon Johnson became incensed at the Secret Service after getting caught red-handed by his wife, and blamed them for not warning him in advance. Johnson got over it, but insisted that the Secret Service make it up to him by installing a buzzer system so that he could always be warned if his wife was approaching.

#6 Clint Hill Was a Real-Life Action Hero Long before Sly Stallone and Jackie Chan were doing their own stunts, Secret Service agent Clint Hill was jumping onto moving cars and guarding the President with his body. He was even a reality TV celebrity of the worst variety, if you count the notorious Zapruder film. He was the man famously seen running from the car behind a wounded John F. Kennedy and leaping onto the back of it. After the shooting, Hill jumped out of his car riding and boarded Kennedy’s, guiding the First Lady back to her seat and placing his body above her and the President, ready to take another bullet. To this day, the Secret Service expresses shame about their failure to protect JFK’s life, but they always speak highly of Clint Hill’s quick thinking and bravery. Hill, however, is much less proud, and never forgave himself for allowing the President to die.

#7 Ronald Reagan Packed as Much Heat as His Agents Ronald Reagan’s not a liberal favorite, but conservatives continue to adore his memory, in no small part because the man was a regular Dirty Harry when it came to protecting himself. Secret Service agents have said that Reagan once came out of his room, in front of the Secret Service, with a pistol tucked on his hip. When asked about it, Reagan said, “In case you boys can’t get the job done, I can help.” Perhaps Reagan watched the film of his own attempted assassination once or twice, and decided that no matter what, there would be no sequel. The Secret Service even admitted that Reagan carried a pistol when he first met Mikhail Gorbachev. And despite the notoriety of the NRA, Reagan was a proud member. Yes, Reagan was strongly in favor of the Brady Bill and the seven-day waiting period for new gun purchases. That didn’t make him any less of a badass. It just made him a responsible one.

#8 The Secret Service Still Investigates Counterfeiters Yes, all these years later, the Secret Service is still active in federal investigations, including its original mission: investigating fraud and counterfeiting. The protection of the President is simply one additional job the organization takes on. So even though Presidents constantly harass the Secret Service and make them install wife-alarms and what not, these guys are actually doing us a lot of good. They execute stings against malicious hackers and handle cases involving forgeries of American checks and wire fraud. They also very actively combat that whole Nigerian Prince scam thing, because some folks actually continue to fall for them. Americans lose over $100 million per year by sending their financial information to Sir Baldour Dogooder III or whatever they call themselves these days. It’s such a big problem the Secret Service has actually set up a headquarters in Nigeria, to help combat the cyber-crime right at the source.

#9 They Protected Obama for 18 Months Prior to Election Barack Obama knows he and George W. Bush are notoriously unpopular, which is probably why Obama reversed a 1994 Congress ruling that said Presidents elected after 1997 would only receive ten years of protection after relinquishing their post. This would have made Obama and Bush the ONLY Presidents in history that didn’t have lifetime Secret Service protection. It was also a smart move by Obama to accept the Secret Service’s offer of protection a year and a half before Election Day 2008 — the earliest bout of protection for any candidate in history. Not only did it help keep away all the racist, MURCA-loving, would-be assassins who wanted him dead, but it also made him seem like the odds-on favorite to win the election. No wonder Bush is so chummy with Obama. The man literally saved W’s behind by reinstating lifetime Secret Service protection for him too.

#10 A Bunch of Secret Service Agents Had Their Own Sexy Entourage Perhaps taking a few life lessons from philanderer Lyndon Johnson, some good old boys from the Secret Service became embroiled in their own sex scandal in 2012. According to the dismissed agents, the Secret Service has long “tolerated loose guidelines” as long as these quickie relationships (many of which were adulterous) ended whenever the agency left the city. Once exposed, the scandal resulted in rumors of a “Secret Circus”, a group of wild and horny Secret Service agents that would come into town looking for easy fun. Relationships were broke, agents were fired, and the old “I didn’t know she was a prostitute!” excuse was repeated often. The dismissed agents’ sexual dalliances are on record but, to this day, the Secret Service denies everything, claiming they do not tolerate anything “unbecoming of a Secret Service employee.” Perhaps they should though. Maybe if guys like these were in charge of handling Johnson’s needs, maybe he wouldn’t have been so damn cranky.

Source: TopTenz

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