#who wins who loses place ur b e t s

[boxwinebaddie]

also, in regards ( my condolences ) to this post, i am also humbly offering this insane asylum brain-dump on hypothetical racecar kyle

aka #sasscar kyle

who the sports commentators call 'the jersey devil' ( as in the devil went down to ) because he is the human embodiment of road rage and is not afraid to run right you off it -- with his car or his mouth.

which is aaaalways running...and fast! because that man's loco-motor ( he's insane ) runs solely off spite, on ice cold sprite and has a wicked god complex, so he gets off on picking stupid, petty fights with other drivers / betting insane high aces before races...just to see the dumb, shitdick look on ur face when he puts you in your place ( second <3 ) or the e.r. if you red-cross him <3 ( his ride is your local blood drive )

'them' being extreme sports commentators who, re: the jersey devil nickname, hiss when they see him a shake a competitor's hand ( with his cool, suede, jade leather glove, tyvm! ) because he's a known Pit Viper but instead of a knife in your back or a nail in your coffin, it's in your tire and they're mimicking the sound it makes as it deflates and you slowly...asphyxiate. pls note: they also call him 'break check' bc if you haven't checked your breaks, dw; he'll do it for you! ( aww!!! ) <3

tldr; kyle broflovski...can and will do Anything to win. after all, if you're not first; you're last. and in the immortal words of rascal flatts: life is a motherfucking highway, baby! if your foots not on the gas, your ass is GRASS, motherfucker! like, trust and believe, i love miss holly, ( she's my girl ), but with all due respect, this isn't 'the scenic route'...

this is DRAG RACING, bitch! so either get fast, get serious or Switch Lanes before wiley kyley b gets Furious, passes you with one hand -- he's flipping you off with the other one -- and verbally eviscerates you so viscously from his rear view mirror that you instantly start crying,

the shitsandstorm of dust he left you in coats your lungs, you begin to claw and choke, your grip on the wheel slips, your head tips, reality dips before you know it or can pull over, you're done: you lose control of the car, crydroplane out of place and crash into the wall. HARD.

with that said, the question remains...

Are We Making Girl Scout Cookies...

Or Are We Making

A.

Goddamn.

DEAL,

S w e e t h e a r t ?

;)

[dolphin-enthusiast]

I know you did this already, but my friend gave me this idea and I need your energy to accomplish it.... blindfolded just dance reader vs gamer man kakyoin. Who will win? Alpha gamer or dumbass, crackhead energy?

Top 10 anime fights

- It would basically be one of the most epic battles in history, both world wars are fucking s h a k i n g. Everyone knew just how talented you were since you could pull off insane moves whilst blindfolded, so it kinda threw you off when Kakyoin menacingly approached you one day and oh so politely challenged you to a Just Dance duel. Gamer to gamer.

- And it’s really no surprise that Kakyoin was almost as good as you at Just Dance, the man succesfully completing song after song without slipping at all. That’s when you decided to change it up a little and offered the gamer man that was currently trying to catch his breath a blindfold whilst tying another one around your head. It was o n.

- Just like that you two waged war against eachother while being fucking blindfolded. Kakyoin kept surprising you further since the man didn’t slip up at all even when deprived of his sight. It’s as if he was made to be your Just Dance archnemesis really.

- After hours and hours of countless dancing, the results were shocking. As you two took off your blindfolds, you were (once again) surprised to see that both of your ultimate scores were in fact equal. At this Kak merely chuckled whilst congratulating you for being as talented as always. But don’t think that it’s over, oh no no no no. Epic gamer boi will be back for revenge soon.

[mysticalmusicwhispers]

if it’s not too much to ask... india/china hcs pls? i know u ship it so i’d love to hear what ur opinions are!!

Thank you for asking friend!! It’s never a bother :)

Length Warning: Very, Very Long, A Lot Of Rambling

Preface: I honestly don’t know much in-depth stuff about India-China history (all the “history ramblings” is based on my previous knowledge + Wiki), so I don’t have a lot of grounding in what their relationship is like. Also, when writing their history I realized I still see them as a brotp (so the first part isn’t very shippy) but there are romantic ship headcanons at the end. See this cool post for other hcs!

+++

HISTORY RAMBLINGS

- I guess in Ancient Times, I see them having a friendly trading partner vibe; my personal hc of Ancient China is of someone who builds friendships for convenience, and then starts getting attached with time, so I think this is how his attitude was at first. He and India probably had some vague contact through diplomats and travellers who brought back tales to their own country, and then once trading and influence and religious imports (ex. Buddhism) really kicked off, they started actually interacting with each other (as people, not nations) and over time, that just kicked off into being closer and closer friends until they were basically lovers.

- In Hetalia canon China goes along with Zheng He (Ming Dynasty, early 1400s) on his voyages around the world (the episode with a giraffe), and historically they did make stops at India, where they traded and visited Buddhist temples and stuff; this would be fun to examine in terms of Indchu. I’m sure they had more opportunities to visit each other in person (in contrast to Romechu, the true long-distance relationship) but I’d like to see them just checking in on each other, talking about the news of the day and stuff! Talking about trade and the places they’ve seen; Yao rambling on and on about where he’s headed next, India interjecting time to time about things he’s heard about places far away from them. A moment of peace where they’re just super comfortable and relaxed with each other would be amazing

- Ok fast forward a bit to the 1850s-60s: Qing Dynasty is resting in pieces, the Opium Wars have thoroughly beaten China, the government is unstable from the Boxer Rebellion and there’s a bunch of hate at the ruling people, stuff happens. India has been taken by Britain and it’s Not Fun; these two old men are down in the dumps and being bitter together. I don’t think they’re “dating” or whatever rn because there’s just too much on both of their plates, but they are still close friends and still mutually hate England together. I can see them having tense arguments with each other out of pure stress, complaining about who has it worse: India, who has been made into a colony! *gasp* “My pride has been killed, Yao!” and China, who is basically a colony to 5 nations all at once and also reeling from losing HK to Britain. They know exactly how to hurt each other by this point, but they also know they don’t really mean it, and things usually blow over after they’re in their right minds again.

****Also, Indian sepoys were used by Britain to fight China, and Indian opium was shipped to China as well; I think that might have been a sticking point for a while, but I think Yao would’ve slowly accepted that India was not the one making decisions in the end. 

- The World Wars: India is in the Gallipoli campaign, conscripted by Britain, China is fighting on the side of the British and French but does not gain a single thing from winning, and has also lost the First Sino-Japanese War (I think Hetalia canon says China got his scar from there). Then Japan invades China, and he and India are fighting together in WWII against China’s estranged sibling/brother/vague relation. Both are beaten to the core, still bitter, but they keep reminding each other that they will just have to weather the storm and wait for their moment. This too shall pass. Same mood as the beginning of imperialism, but more tired and more done.

- After India’s Independence and China’s Government Overhaul: 1950s: India was one of the first non-Communist countries to recognize the PRC instead of the old ROC, but I think they started distancing from each other a little while after? There were territorial disputes with Nepal and I think both countries’ governments might have told them to cut it out and be less friendly with each other because they had rather clashing agendas

- Things seem to be relaxing just a bit, but then the Sino-Indian border dispute (1962) happens, and then there are other clashes near the border, and they don’t know if they can trust each other. Additionally, there’s the Sino-Soviet split, and India is getting help from the Soviets, and it makes things more complicated between them. The relationship is on shaky ground right now, and if they meet in person, both are putting on an impersonal facade. Not very friendly. I think they’re still cooling off until at least the late 1970s, when China’s economic reform happens.

- Skipping to Modern Day: they are cool again and are close friends again. However, they know their countries are competing in population, economy, world status/power, but they’re still friends. They know it might end badly, but I think they’ve learned to roll with the good times and savor it; their pride and hearts have been stomped on already so they don’t care anymore and take risks even if they might come out feeling a bit broken. They are buddies, and they might be dating, and they don’t really care about the boundary between friends and lovers. They are comfortable with each other.

- This article, published in 2007 by Harvard Business Review, presents an interesting take on China and India’s relationship, and in particular, their economies: it says that although people think they’re destined to be rivals because of their competing business sectors, they have developed complementary strengths and it’d be foolish not to work together. I think that could somewhat summarize Indchu’s relationship with each other in the hetaliaverse; they complement each other, and even if they might become competitors, it won’t affect their friendship/relationship because they just fit together. They click; it’s not forced friendship or whatever, they just integrate into each other so well (it’s almost like they’re meant to be together).

- There are border skirmishes (ex. the incident in June 2020), but I’m not really sure how that would factor into their relationship? Maybe they’ve gotten over it and they both know the other personification doesn’t like the fighting, and that their government’s opinions come first? Or maybe it’s still unresolved between them, because India has known Yao for a long time and knows what he’s capable of, and Yao knows what a potent force India can be when he wants? Idk. I think the idea of unresolved tension is more accurate, but I also like this ship because it’s soft and /mostly/ pure in modern day and I sometimes really want to ignore historical accuracy

ONTO THE GENERAL SHIP HEADCANONS!

- They argue with each other a lot, basically like an old married couple; their jibes at each other don’t mean anything though. China insists it’s so their wits stay sharp.

- Also they have debates over various academic topics; it’s basically their fun hobby by now. They’re both intellectually matched and read rather voraciously, so it’s a fun challenge (and keeps their wits sharp)

- I mentioned it before but it’s worth bringing up again: they know exactly how to hurt each other with their words; they just don’t get into bad fights often so they don’t need to cut each other to pieces.

- China is the less sentimental one, but they’re both really good at picking out tasteful, meaningful gifts for each other. “Experiences over material items/gifts” doesn’t really appeal to either of them; they’d much rather stay home being cozy than “gifting” each other a week in the Caribbeans or something.

- T e a  l e a v e s (No Teabags unless Strictly Necessary). No coffee, sugar, cream, or milk. Sometimes India jokes about switching over to coffee or drinking tea the British way, and Yao just goes “You’re canceled”, dead seriously.

- They wear each other’s traditional clothing sometimes. Occasionally Yao asks India to wear a hanfu instead of a changshan (men’s equivalent of qipao) because he thinks it’s more traditional (qipao was invented in the 1920s). India has managed to stuff Yao into a qipao at least three times, and has pictures to prove it.

- India likes running his fingers through China’s hair (he says it’s really soft, a comment that makes Yao scoff every time) and he sorta hates his ponytail for that reason alone. Yao knows this, and he tries to make up for it by letting it down more on weekends, when he doesn’t have to look presentable (also India insists Yao looks presentable all the time, another comment that always earns a scoff).

- They teach each other their own dishes. China has been getting in the habit of substituting beef and pork for other things, mainly tofu/chicken/shiitake mushrooms

- They take walks together in the evenings after dinner when they’re in the same place. As long as it’s still light out and the weather’s not too bad, they will do it every day (even if it’s raining, they might just bring an umbrella).

- Their way of showing affection is a) with gifts and b) just talking to each other about anything. It’s their way of winding down for the day and being comfortable with each other; they have long talks about random, silly little things that happened, perhaps a funny (or stupid) meme/joke their siblings sent, or dumb stuff that happened with their boss at a meeting.

- I think they’d call each other nicknames in private. It wouldn’t be something too “sickly sweet” I guess, but something to show they care. They use nicknames sparingly as well, so it doesn’t lose meaning through overuse. (I personally hate nicknames so I’m not giving out any suggestions here, but I think Yao would use something like “亲爱的” for India, basically means “dear/beloved”. Not too flashy or sweet, but still affectionate.)

- China gifts houseplants to India’s apartment/house because he knows India likes them (I think he’s a green thumb). China doesn’t really bother with decorative plants; he prefers to grow spring onions and other low maintenance shit that he can use in his cooking lol he’s all about the practicality

- During ancient times, they had lengthy, invigorating discussions about mathematics, either through letters or in person.

- They aren't really affectionate in public; PDA is limited to hand holding and occasionally a kiss on the cheek. Neither China nor India are the type to “show off” their relationship or their partner.

- Adding onto that, they don’t really announce their relationship to everybody but if you ask them, they’ll tell you. Basically you have to be the one to notice something’s up; they just don’t think it's necessary to share every little bit of information about their lives with people. They're the “secretly married” couple trope; signs of affection are rather subtle but still noticeable because they don’t act that way to other people.

- China forced India to get a Wechat so he can send India 10¥ red packets every week just because he has the app

- Not really a ship headcanon, but these two would throw the best parties??? Like if you want a party that’s really loud and noisy and fun, ask them. They may be old and “not fun” or whatever but they know how to organize large scale events effectively and how to achieve the correct atmosphere, and despite all Yao’s siblings’ trash talk, they usually pull off very stylish, sleek functions/events. Maybe it’s a little tacky here and there but it’s barely noticeable, and everyone is just. Awed.

Yeet that’s it; thank you for reading! This got really long, and I feel like a lot of the headcanons were rather platonic, but yeah! Hope you like it!

[ncncriminalway-a]

THE O B S E R V E R ;; analytical, detached, self sufficient

b a s i c s;;

Name:  Jonathan Murphy ( Aka John, aka Murphy ) Age: 19 Major: Culinary Arts Fraternity: Azgeda

b i o g r a p h y;;

Life never was quite easy for the Murphy family, but they managed and they had each other. Parents were madly in love with each other, son was a bit of a troublemaker but not so much they couldn't handle it. Things were great. Perfect even. He had friends at Highschool, not too close. Clarke Griffin was one of them. Begrudgingly, Raven Reyes was one of them too. Life went okay. Until, well. You get to the point where it doesn't. He's about twelve, maybe. Thirteen almost? He gets sick, his father goes out late at night to go to the night shop in the hopes of getting something for his son there. He ends up coming between some nasty shit. He gets shot. He dies. Mother is inconsolable. She starts drinking to cope with the loss of her true love. Kid gets neglected and learns to survive on his own. Mother starts blaming kid, kid becomes violent at school and around. Detaches himself from people. Starts believing it. Things go down the drain. Friends are lost.

When he's eighteen, his mother ends up dying. He gets in a bar fight and gets beaten half to death by picking the wrong person to fight with. Abby Griffin finds him in the hospital and hears about what's going on in his life. They figure out the death of his mother and she takes Murphy under her wing for a little while. A little while, however, becomes just forever. With no place to go, he remains with Abby and Clarke Griffin and grows to care for them in his own troubled ways. Eventually, he is sent to Groundview by Abby in hopes of him managing to move on with life. Once there, he becomes a part of Azgeda, fights a lot, remains a sassy, snarky, sarcastic asshole with a little bit too many issues and a little bit too hard to gather friends. But he finds it perfect that way. He doesn't WANT friends.

p e r s o n a l i t y;;

Likes: Cooking, fighting, stargazing, a little bit of chaos, parties, doing shit he's not supposed to do, coming out of things unscathed, winning, not getting  caught doing shit he's not supposed to do.

Dislikes: His mother, his life in general, the irony of everything, not winning, ending up on the losing side, getting too drunk to remember shit, getting too emotional, things not going the way he wants them to, the concept of love.

Traits: issues, snarky, sarcastic, fite me attitude, devil may care attitude, witty, smart, knows how to survive, street smart, great pretender at how he feels.

c o n n e c t i o n s;;

@triedtobcgood started seeing her as a somewhat annoying sister gets alll is2g ur not my mother on clarke whenever she tries to bemother him.

@amongthcwreck got this weird i tolerate you vibe around the other, they shared a night in jail once after a bar fight gone wrong.

@anditsxsorrows they don’t get along but for the sake of-- no, lbr they just dont get along and they’ll show each other damn who’s close to them.

@madefighter known her since highschool, they always get in each other’s hairs, always snarling and snapping yet tolerating each other at the same time. got a love hate thing going on. she tends to drunk stumble into his room and demand food.

@notreallyablackwell he flirts with her and hangs around her mostly cause it pisses klaus the fuck off. he also might enjoy her company a bit. at times.

@seesgood calls her out on her bullshit, wont deny she is a beauty and strong and passionate in her own right. just is painfully blunt with her. she probably gets irritated a lot by him.