#who share a braincell but drink respect women juice

[shadowthestoryteller]

Was chatting with @jonamore​ and this spawned lol

[legofemme]

So about the tuxedo cat. There’s is fat fuck in the neighborhood who fits that bill. He refuses to walk on grass, is very friendly, and whenever other strays approach him aggressively he just sits there and just... stares. And when the stay realizes he’s not intimidated and that he’s a Chomky Boi, they look very distraught and confused before just walking away.

He’s very sweet and will go on walks with people he sees. There’s this nice lady in the neighborhood that we’ve dubbed his mom who’s going to wait for him to approach her house so she can catch him, get him cleaned and combed, get him shots, and then keep him indoors.

Our Ginger is stupid and territorial and tries to threaten him through the window, but Tuxedo simply Does Not Care. Tux is too dumb to see that Ginger is puffing up in pure rage to try and seem like a Man. Ginger is too dumb to see that Tux is Simply Vibing and does not care.

My grandma also has a Tuxedo Cat and he’s about six years old, and he’s just learned that he can meow and people will pay attention to him. My grandma is hard of hearing so his meows are stupidly loud and if he’s not perched at eye level or above, he starts biting ankles.

So in my experience, ginger cats don’t use the braincell, tuxedoes use the braincell strictly once to find out how to get attention, and then do the thing to get attention as much as they want. They’re both dumb and I love them and they both drink Respect Women Juice (for cats).

THIS IS SO GOOD THANK YOU FOR SHARING. HERE IS MY OWN STUPID FUCK FOR YOUR PLEASURE

[leviskokoro]

Mari In Twisted Wonderland | Abridged Version | Savanaclaw

Chapter 2

Days after the Overblot Incident and Revenge Unbirthday Party, Mari gets another dream and this time it’s about the furries-- I mean, animals. She didn’t really get what it meant.

Lunch happened and Ruggie stole Grim’s lunch. Mari was confused but then they were called to the Headmaster’s office so she couldn’t question it. 

Crowley explained shit to the shared brain cell trio and Mari. Blah blah blah. Grim got upset that he can’t play magift and show off. Mari rationalized with him that he won’t be able to show off if he’s only a beginner and that she’ll treat him to canned tuna to cheer him up. He seemed to be having a terrible day, getting his lunch stolen and then being told he can’t participate in a sports event. 

She asked Crowley if he was searching for a way home but quickly realizes that he didn’t seem to be doing it. Though, she didn’t really say anything about it since the demon brothers were probably looking for a way to get her back. 

Then they got back to their dorms later but Crowley came to visit and explained that students were getting injured and shit was real sus since there were a lot of them. Grim told him that he didn’t want to help but he pretty much just forced them by saying the Ramshackle Dorm wasn’t free. He also bribed Grim by saying he’d let him participate in the magift tournament. Though, Mari was aware that he was lying through his teeth. However, she said nothing since she didn’t want to break Grim’s spirit again. Plus, she was going to help regardless of the situation. Might as well be helpful while she’s stuck in there. 

So the investigation started. They looked in the infirmary and Mari noticed that there were no Savanaclaw students that were injured but figured that maybe the culprit hasn’t got to them yet. Then they interrogated two injured students from Heartslabyul and they didn’t get any helpful answers so they tried looking for more clues. Only to fail and go back to the Ramshackle Dorm. 

Ace visited and they explained the situation to him. But then Deuce ran in and yelled about how Trey got injured too. So they ran to the Heartslabyul dorm and saw him. 

Mari was genuinely proud of Grim for being nice enough to give Trey the can of tuna she bought for him earlier in order to cheer him up. 

Riddle came by to check on Trey and then explained how he got injured. Then Cater pulled everyone excluding Trey to a different room and let Mari tell them about the other injured students. 

So, the Heartslabyul gang + Grim and Mari went to investigate together and saw the Pomefiore Dorm, which was probably Mari’s favorite dorm so far. It was certainly pretty. 

And now for Mari’s first impression of Rook: “Dang he kinda hot” 

Rook will remember that

Then the rest of the gang decided that he didn’t look strong enough so the culprit probably wouldn’t wanna target him, then went on to Octavinelle to see the tweels. 

First impression of the tweels as she and the rest ran for their dear lives: “Jesus fuck they’re creepy” 

They escaped and Mari finally remembered what she noticed about the injured students again. “Savanaclaw might be the next targets since there weren’t any injured students from there” 

So they got to the Savanaclaw Dorm and met Jack. She was like “oh you’re the hot furry” and he was like “excuse me?” Then he tells them that he won’t be targetted and that they should fuck off. 

Then they got in trouble with Savanaclaw delinquents and Leona and Ruggie came. Leona recognized Mari as the herbivore that stepped on his tail. The delinquents get angry but he still drinks respecc women juice and just challenges the gang to magift. Since Mari had no magic, she had to sit this one out. 

She goes home and sleeps, but then realizes she can’t and decides to have a midnight walk because she hasn’t seen enough horror movies to know that’s not the best idea. Then she meets Malleus. Probably thinks he’s the hottest guy she’s seen in NRC besides Leona and Jamil. 

“Oh, you are a child of man” “And you’re a man with horns”

She isn’t particularly intimidated by him. Like— She’s met Lucifer and has been nearly killed by him twice. Some strange dude with horns got nothin’ on him. Mari asked who he is and he seemed to be surprised by that, then he smirked. 

Dude said it would be better if she didn’t know and let her call him whatever she wanted. She was like “Aight” then he left. 

Mari goes to sleep and has another dream. She wonders why she’s having another dream about animals and why does the lion look familiar. Then she woke up, wondering what it meant. Barbatos was rather vague when he gave her his parting gift. 

On the way to school with Grim, she told him about the Tall handsome dude with horns. He dubbed him “Tsunotarou”. She liked the name a lot and decided to use it. 

They meet up with Cater and Riddle, who tell them that Jamil got injured. So they go meet him. 

‘Ah fuck his voice is hot too’ Mari thought when she met him. It seemed that she was right about Kalim, he was quite friendly. 

So they finally found out about Ruggie but couldn’t catch him. Then Jack appeared again. He’s like “Why are you working so hard for other people’s sake?” 

Ace is like “Lmao we just wanna get picked for the magift tournament and show off. We don’t give a shit about these guys.”

Mari sighed and said, “Why is literally everyone in this school so selfish?” And Jack questions her as to her reason for doing it. Then she replies with “Well-- Crowley kinda said that living in the Ramshackle Dorm wasn’t free. Though, he didn’t really have to force me since I would’ve helped regardless because I just like feeling helpful.”

Then Jack told the shared braincell trio that they’re worse than he thought. Though, he also mentioned that he didn’t trust Mari’s type. As in, “Guys that just do things for others” 

Ace was like “no u” 

Then Jack was like “Fight me bitch. If you want me to spill my guts, you gotta defeat me”

Deuce went bad boy like “fuck yeah lets go dude” and they fight

And they win. The rest of the guys are surprised that Mari knows how to fight. She’s like “The Future King of Hell taught me martial arts for like a year” and they’re not sure whether she’s being serious or if she’s crazy. 

And then Jack went into this whole spiel about how cowardly tricks make him nauseous and how he wanted to use his own power to claim victory at the top. Then he finally spills the beans on what Ruggie’s unique magic is and how Savanaclaw is in on the plan. 

“Why would they?” “How well you do in the magift tournament can have a big impact on your future, right? So I can’t say I don’t understand their feelings” 

“GRRRRRRRRRRRR” 

Mari is like “Dude, chill. Understanding someone doesn’t mean you agree with them.” 

Jack replied with “The now comes before the future! Show what you can do now!” 

Then goes onto yet another spiel about how he can’t stand Leona and how that guy is amazing but never gives his full effort. 

Ace whispers to Mari like “Damn he tsundere for his own dorm leader” 

And Jack tells them that Savanaclaw is going to target the dorm leader of Diasomnia, Malleus Draconia during the day of the magift tournament. 

Riddle and Cater come by like “Lol thanks for telling us” Then Riddle was going to tell them the plan but Jack was like “bitch im not gonna help. Im gonna do this shit myself. Bye” 

Mari countered with “What have you accomplished on your own?” 

He’s just >:(

“Smart wolves hunt as a pack” “Ugh fine. But if your plan sucks, I’m leaving.” 

So after hearing Riddle out, he’s like “Aight I’ll help.” 

Everyone came to an agreement and went to their respective dorms. Mari has another dream, then thought “Bruh he really wanted to be king then when he became king, he didn’t even do it right.”

“Oi, wake up.” 

Mari felt someone shake her awake. She groaned and swatted away the hands, wanting to sleep more. It didn’t quite register in her mind that someone broke into her room. It was only until her blanket was tugged away from her. The cool air hit her bare body. She shuddered and her eyes finally fluttered open to see Jack with a flustered expression before he threw the blanket over her body. 

“WHY THE HELL ARE YOU NAKED?!” 

“WHY ARE YOU IN MY ROOM?!” 

“Tch.” He looked away and rubbed his neck. “I came from my morning run to wake you up early. I couldn’t let you oversleep on the day of the tournament. S-Sorry for breaking into your room…”

Grim perked up and was motivated to go immediately so that he could collect his reward to play in the tournament. “Come on! Let’s go already!” 

“Just let me get dressed and I’ll be right with you. Be patient.” 

For the rest of that morning, Jack couldn’t look at her directly. When he did, images of that embarrassing situation all came back to his mind 

So they got to the stadium. Shit hit the fan but everything was fine because Heartslabyul revealed their plan. Diasomnia is perfectly alright. 

Leona got pissed and he revealed his unique magic. Sand is everywhere. He’s trying to kill Ruggie. 

Mari is like “Ugh I hate sand” 

Jack also revealed his unique magic and turned into a full furry-- I mean, wolf. This surprised Leona, which gave Riddle the opportunity to collar him. 

Lilia be spittin facts. 

Hearing Leona yell about agony and despair and that things will never change kinda made Mari’s heart hurt because it felt… familiar. How hopeless he seemed to feel. It reminded her of how she was before coming to the Devildom. 

Then he overblotted.

Then they beat the sit out of him. Mari is like “Does this usually happen?” 

So the magift tournament went on and Savanaclaw still got to play because the injured students wanted revenge. Grim also reminded Crowley about his reward so he was allowed to play against Savanaclaw. 

Grim did an oopsie and tried to do a special move but it backfired and hit Mari in the head instead. She had to be rushed to the infirmary. 

She woke up to see the shared braincell trio and the furry boys. Ace told her that she’s been asleep for so long that the closing ceremony was over and they’re dismantling the venue. 

Leona told her that Diasomnia was the champion. 

Ace and Deuce talked about how good Malleus was for a moment. Jack was like “No one can win if they give up before they try.” Mari agreed with him. He then said that he was going to beat Diasomnia fair and square next year. 

Leona was like ““Underhanded tactics” require one’s strength too” and she asked if he even felt bad. He was just like lmao no 

A wild Babie has appeared. Leona went >:0 but introduced Cheka to them. 

Mari squealed at the sight of such an adorable child. Internally she was saying “I’ve seen Cheka for 4 seconds but if anything were ever to happen to him, I’d kill everyone in this room and then myself.”

Jack: So the root of all Leona’s pain is… 

Mari: The cutest lil angel ever! 

Cheka: Are you guys my uncle’s friends? 

Everyone else laughed at Leona except Mari who was busy introducing herself to the lil babie. 

Leona will remember that. 

Timeskip to when Mari went to sleep and saw the creepy shadow in the mirror. She’s lowkey shook but then she woke up. Seeing the time was pretty early in the morning, she decided to have a lil stroll to see the sun rise. 

She found a good spot and sat down, singing lightly to herself. 

The sound of leaves being crushed under one’s feet reached her ears from behind her. Mari didn’t bother looking up at the source, being too enamored with seeing the sky as its hues morph from navy to a golden yellow. The dark clouds turned into tangerine and peach ones. She gave a dreamy sigh. 

“Oi, Mari.” She heard the gruff voice of Jack. “What are you doing here?”

“Oh you know, just… Watching that gorgeous sunrise. I’ve lived in a land with no sun for a year so seeing it like this is quite the blessing,” She responded, still not looking up. 

“Seriously? I’ve never heard of a place like that.” Jack sat beside her. 

“Yeah. Living in Hell was quite the experience but it was fun.” Mari chuckled lightly. 

Her words caused him to furrow his eyebrows, wondering if she was kidding or not. He shook his head, deciding that it wasn’t important. He turned to her. 

“So… about that time…” 

“Hm? What time?” Mari finally looked at him, confusion swirling in her pools of chocolate. She tilted her head. 

His face felt warm as the blood rose to his tanned cheeks. “Y-You know what I’m talking about!”

Upon seeing his flustered expression, she finally remembered what he meant. Her mouth formed an ‘o’. What could he possibly gain from bringing that up now? 

“I wanted to apologize properly…” He spoke up again, rubbing the back of his neck. “I shouldn’t have violated your privacy like that and broke into your room.” He finally had the courage to look back into her eyes. Golden hues meeting chocolate. 

“How can I make it up to you?” 

Mari saw this opportunity and a smirk crept up onto her lips. “You could make it up to me by letting me pet you.” 

He yelped and his eyes widened to the size of saucers. His ears stood erect. “Wh-What?!” 

She pouted. “I thought you wanted to make it up to me? This is the least I could ask for after you broke into my room and saw me naked!” 

“Okay! Okay! Just don’t yell or someone’s gonna hear you.” 

Mari stopped and looked at him with expectations glinting in her eyes. 

He leaned downward. His head was lowered and ears curled back, anticipating her touch. 

She grinned and laid her hand over his head, caressing it tenderly. “Oh my~ Your hair is quite soft. I see that you groom yourself well, Jack. How nice~” She cooed, continuing to pet him with such pure glee swimming in her chocolate eyes. “How are you liking this? Does it feel nice~?” 

“Tch… Just because I’m letting you do this, doesn’t mean I like it,” He told her. 

“But your tail is wagging.” She pointed out. Blood spurted to his face and he pulled away. 

“Alright, that’s enough!” He exclaimed to her, trying not to show her that he was flustered. “We’re going to be late for school if we don’t hurry.” 

Mari glanced at the sun and nodded. “Oh! You’re right. I’ll go wake up Grim and head to class. Thanks again, Jack.” 

“Don’t expect me to let you do that again. We’re not friends or anything.” He walked away from her. 

A smile graced her lips as she watched him leave with a mirthful gaze. “Alright,” she whispered and made her way to the Ramshackle Dorm.

[mikenewtonhateblog]

My m/f oc pairings are valid because the 3 I have are:

Angry bisexual very butch top and her pansexual himbo bottom boyfriend that dresses like he’s from the 90s grunge era.

Straight monster boy who drinks his respect women juice and is an anxious mess 24/7, and his tiny demisexual, plant loving and fashionista, part-fairy girlfriend.

Two heterosexual moron idiot fools who share 1 braincell and are too horny to think right and almost die like 8 times but the boy has “i love my wife” eyes and she has the “touch him and die” eyes.

[askthedustbowl]

elysian ballet company dancers

patroclus:

- 11 years at the company

- first language: ballet/pointe

- secondaries: hip-hop, jazz, modern, tap, ballroom

- closest to cory, they trained together, basically grew up together, and got into the company together. he knows firsthand the shit that mnemosyne put her through. he acts as her protector and big brother figure to make sure she’s not pushing herself too hard.

- pat is best friends with erato and has been for several years. he often features on her instagram

nyx:

- 9 years at the company

- first language: ballet/pointe

- secondaries: modern, jazz, tap

- originally auditioned in the same group as cory and pat when they were nineteen and she was sixteen, but wasn’t accepted due to the small number of spots. two years later, she auditioned again and got in. cory and pat welcomed her as if she were an old friend and they’ve been inseparable ever since.

- nyx and selene are happily married and have been for two years. together they function as mothers to perseus—and they have ever since he was sixteen.

- orpheus loves her. they met when he was eight and immediately hit it off.

myrina:

- 8 years at the company

- first language: gymnastics

- secondaries: ballet/pointe, jazz

- president of the Narcissus Shut Up Squad

- many of the younger dancers look up to myrina because of her confidence and skill, and she takes her position as role model very seriously.

- myrina and thalia have been flirting for a while, dancing around one another if you will, but as of late, nothing has come of it.

harmonia:

- 10 years at the company

- first language: ballet/pointe

- secondaries: modern, ballroom

- transferred from another company, joined the elysians when she was a soloist.

- wants to teach when she retires.

- harmonia shares a dressing room with cassandra and cory. she has a little pet dog named viola that has become the unofficial mascot of the elysian ballet company.

- there is not a single person on earth that has anything bad to say about harmonia. she is the personification of grace and kindness.

asterion:

- 6 years at the company

- first language: ballet

- secondaries: modern, jazz

- while he has fuckboy tendencies, asterion actually drinks his respecting women juice twice a day, every day.

- he shares a braincell with narcissus and has it 98% of the time.

- he respects the people that he works with very much, and he’s always trying to learn and be better.

- cassandra is his dance partner, and he’s been in love with her since the minute he laid eyes on her. these days it almost seems like maybe she could possibly like him back.

cassandra:

- 4 years at the company

- first language: ballet/pointe

- secondaries: modern

- cass joined the elysians the year that cal died, so she saw cory struggling and they became friends when cass offered to help. she is one of the only people (in the span of eleven years) that have gone on for sugarplum instead of cory.

- she acts as a big sister to the younger soloists and the corps girls, and has a special talent for making perseus, daphne, and mimi behave themselves.

- dances with asterion.

narcissus:

- 6 years at the company

- first language: modern

- secondaries: ballet

- narcissus has exactly one braincell, and he’s not in possession of it all the time, but he is very trusting and compassionate once you get past the sheer dumbass energy radiating from him. he’s a wonderful dance partner, though, and everyone trusts him implicitly when they’re dancing. off stage? not so much.

- while he is a very good dancer, he can either act OR dance. doing both is a little too much for him.

- currently unfortunately in love with tyro.

orestes:

- 6 years at the company

- first language: ballet

- secondaries: hip-hop, modern, tap, jazz

- orestes may play the mouse king, but he’s truly the most gentle man you’ll ever meet.

- he’s been dating pylades for a little less than six years, and they’ve been the happiest years of his life.

- once had a close call with unemployment—he was involved in an altercation that left him no other choice than to fight back, but really, he’s too valuable to fire.

pheme (“mimi”):

- 5 years at the company

- first language: hip-hop

- secondaries: ballet/pointe, modern

- she trained in france for a good deal of her dance career. once she returned, she auditioned for the elysian company and was accepted. she speaks fluent french.

- as elysian theatre’s resident gossip girl, mimi knows everything about everyone. she can either use this for good or for evil, but mostly she just uses it for fun.

- a being of chaos at heart, she can usually be found with perseus and daphne, wreaking havoc on someone or something.

perseus:

- 3 years at the company

- first language: tap

- secondaries: ballet, modern, jazz

- perseus had no intention of going into ballet. his first love was (and still is) tap, and he took lessons at PK dance school for quite a few years after his father refused to let him continue. after an incident involving the police, nyx and selene took him in and started training him in ballet.

- he has been forbidden from dancing with cory because when he’s onstage, he gets so excited that he practically vibrates, and cory needs stability when she dances, not a babysitting job. because of said excitement, he dances better with partners who are a good few years his senior (harmonia, myrina, phoebe). the person he dances the best with is nyx. she keeps him grounded.

- possibly a trickster god in a past life, he’s typically seen with pheme and daphne at his sides.

phoebe:

- 5 years at the company

- first language: ballet/pointe

- second language: contemporary

- phoebe can usually be found with her head in the clouds, but out of all the dancers (besides maybe cory), she has the best technique. she makes dancing look effortless and a lot of the younger dancers who are still working on their technique look to her as a role model.

- she has a playful rivalry going on with mimi, as mimi is an aries and phoebe is very into astrology—or at least into astrology enough to know that arieses are usually up to no good.

daphne:

- 3 years at the company

- first language: ballet/pointe

- secondaries: hip-hop, jazz

- infamous for being cranked up to an eleven 24/7.

- due to her skill, she’s an understudy for several larger roles, but never gets the chance to go on. at this point she would commit murder to go on for sugarplum AT LEAST ONCE.

- if you recall, she’s the one that slipped her number into orpheus’s pocket when he and eurydice went backstage with cory. she’s a hopeless romantic and has a very, VERY unfortunate crush on narcissus.

lethe:

- 3 years at the company

- first language: ballet/pointe

- secondaries: river dancing

- while lethe’s technique is near perfect and her stage presence is excellent, her dance career hasn’t gone past the corps because she has a track record of forgetting the steps once she’s finally put onstage. the way she counteracts that is near-constant rehearsal—she and cory are usually the last ones at the theatre.

- she’s known for her punctuality and she NEVER misses class. the older dancers love her because she’s so well-behaved and responsible.

- of everyone, lethe may be the one that pandora hates most.

pandora:

- 11 months at the company

- first language: acro

- secondaries: ballet, hip-hop, modern

- pandora constantly has a sneer to spare and seldom talks. she got into the company with ty, so she’s also the newest member, but unlike ty, she doesn’t care whether people like her or not.

- unbeknownst to all but thalia, pandora is the creator of most of the best rules of thalia’s game of chess. they’ve known each other for a long time.

tyro (“ty”):

- 11 months at the company

- first language: sports (soccer), hip-hop

- second language: ballet/pointe, step

- she’s the youngest elysian at 21 years old. the older dancers love her as one would love a small, excitable puppy.

- when she was a little girl, pat babysat for her and her siblings. she wasn’t a ballet dancer as a kid, so when she walks through the elysian doors for the first time, pat is shocked.

- she never set out to be a ballet dancer—in high school, she was a soccer player, and she was AMAZING. but after she wasn’t scouted, she picked up ballet as a different outlet and she got pretty good.