#who now has to deal with the horrible yet banal bureaucratic practicalities that come with sorting out someone's death | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

terpia · 3 months

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Apologies for the bummer, too personal post, but just because I need to vent (if that's even the right word here) -

What is it about the death of immediate family members that feels so unreal? My stepfather died unexpectedly this weekend, and even though I have fully internalised that on an intellectual level, on an emotional level it hasn't hit me at all yet. Same happened when my grandma died, it felt like it took my heart months to actually catch up to what happened.

#admittedly i was very close to my grandma for most of my life #while my feelings towards my stepfather have been quite negative ever since I entered my teens #so i'm not even sure if there will ever be that sense of feelings catching up in this case #but there's still something unreal/unbalancing about someone who has been a presence in your life for most of it just not existing anymore #the only thing that does feel real is the effect his death has had on my sister and especially my mum #who now has to deal with the horrible yet banal bureaucratic practicalities that come with sorting out someone's death #since i live in a different country than my family the only horrible practicality that hit me so far is the unexpected cost of #buying plane tickets in the middle of summer #which is such a trivial unimportant thing in the grand scale of things but also not something that i can just not worry about at all #thankfully it's just a matter of me being a bit more mindful of my spending over the next month or so #and not a full-on 'i'll need to skip meals' type of situation #thank god for small mercies #personal #death #sorry for the ramble #just needed to get this off my chest #also apologies in advance if you'll see even more vampire posting/reblogging from me over the next few days #i wasn't kidding when i said iwtv is helping to keep me sane

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