#who lives; who dies; who tells your story | myron

[gwimulchorom]

descent

“Greenest was about as dreary and hopeless as I thought it would’ve been. Miserable group of people - a mason named Milo, a bizarre half-cat something named Tate, a dimwitted noble named Haruuc and a showoff of a skirmisher named Whisper I’ve ended up with. 

It doesn’t take too long for Haruuc to die, and Milo revives him with the power of Bahamut. Pretty much the only thing of value worth mentioning in this foray until you get to the part of Whisper planting a fucked-up apricot tree that’d been mass exterminated by liches for a reason. 

Needless to say Muirin shows up in the name of the Alliance to help take care of the city and tree and I have never wanted to jump into a fucking hole more. It gets worse, I promise you. It’s a shame the best we’d salvaged then was just a part of that blue dragon’s tail when it finally withdrew from Greenest. 

News spreads and we get sent to Elturel. While it was nice taking a bit of time out to romance Sindrie, that amazing merchant elf I’d fallen in with, it doesn’t take long for us to all get dispatched on individual quests to help solve the impending cult crisis. Considering we had the most information at hand, we end up going for the most dangerous quest in the Mere to figure out the castle in there and what would become of it. 

In this situation, Whisper isn’t allowed to leave Greenest anymore because she’s bound to the fucked-up apricot tree. It’s a bit too much to unpack, so let’s throw that suitcase away because in comes Sophie, the worst person in this narrative to even exist. 

Milo, in his everliving grace, decides it’s worth our time to start being truthful to each other about ourselves. He’s transparent in that he’s being hunted for his masonry - a rare type known as “rune-carving”, and he needed to know that we could be trusted before he could set his heart to ease travelling with us. 

Tate admits she was sent to kill Muirin, and that was the end of that conversation. Like fuck I was going to put the dagger in that hand to tell them about what I was about before. 

I’d gloss past the rest because it’s nothing to be proud of. Haruuc…well, no, Brother now, actually, killed for me, and that sealed the deal in our siblinghood. Someone killing for my wretched self is quite the game changer, I won’t lie. Truly a love language for the ages, and thus he was the first to find out who my truest self is. I placed my faith in him for a reason - and I was right. 

This is where I start talking about dragoncraft because I was incapacitated or imprisoned during most of this particular section, so it’s easier for me to fill in the gaps on what I actually did end up making with dragon parts. Evil dragon parts are a bitch to work with, so be glad that I’m still sitting here dictating this with a quill and hadn’t blown myself up with that.”

3 - cycle 

“For a job well-done, the factions estimate giving us some years of downtime to prepare for a final push to deal with Tiamat once and for all. We sit down to discuss these - and Sophie, because she’s absolute bullshit, decides she suddenly wants me to sell my soul to her to give me ‘information I can’t share with Muirin’. 

Clearly this is some fucking audacity considering I was just coming out of a 3-day coma, and it wasn’t like it was actually anything particularly damning considering Brother shared what he knew with me. They’d activated the Maze Engine after I’d allegedly sent him off to help me with that task, which transported them backwards in time to optimise the time they were spending on matters. 

The whole thing was breaking my brain, really. Brother was smart now, and Sophie was apparently some sort of insanely-overtuned archfey who had been irritating me (allegedly) by showing up only to ask for favours, and Milo had bonded with the evil greatsword that I’d instructed not to get emotionally attached to. You can tell that all my carefully laid out plans were going absolutely swimmingly. 

Let’s put that in a can though and talk about Brother, though, because this is my story and I get to decide who the main characters of the narrative are. Brother’s holy pilgrimage to get his Holy Avenger sword was talk for the ages, and he’d invited me to travel with him amidst his sea of priests - he’d invited everyone who had some degree of competence and walked a holy path. I’m about as allergic to religion as werewolves to raw silver, but who was I to refuse such an earnest request? Not to mention the other option being to worry for his well-being before he returned, which I figured would be far more tortuous than anything. 

In the end, I was the one to deliver Sufferance to Brother, on the brink of unconsciousness. Maybe it was just catharsis that I would place the one life-changing item into my adoptive brother’s hand, the same way he’d placed everything he had in me when I was at my lowest and hadn’t deserved him. 

The rest of this downtime could be explained as a bit of a whirlwind, actually. Brother was made a Masked Lord of Waterdeep, and had chosen me as his advisor, stating he’d wanted to build an orphanage and order of crusaders to protect the weak and underprivileged. We’d apparently named the order The Order of the Gemscaled Knights, and I’d picked topaz on both occasions for my title and namesake at that point. 

Me! Little old me who didn’t even know half of what I’d done to have this man so entirely devoted to me! If we weren’t already so close as siblings, I might have to fall in love with this man to keep him by my side! Turns out being nice to a person goes such a long way, maybe I should reconsider my stance on being terrible to most other adults. 

"I couldn't do this all without you and you are one of the few people I trust, Gut. You never steered me wrong and I know together we can accomplish great things. Besides you always talk about how your sister and you are being punished for the suffering you'd both brought upon others, just imagine how much good you have done and can continue doing in such a post. We can return Waterdeep to the City of Splendors, a beacon of hope and promise for all the Lord’s Alliance." 

Tell me you wouldn’t wed this 6 foot 7 brick wall and throw him into bed immediately. Look me deep in my green eyes and tell me with a straight face that you wouldn’t. You can’t, because he’s the most eligible man in Waterdeep and nothing will convince me otherwise of this fact. 

At least this did mean that everything we had available was settled, though. We had retirement plans all mapped out, money set aside for our orphans, and enough magical arms to start a small army of our own. If we weren’t acting for the interest of Waterdeep we would’ve probably been arrested by now, but I digress."

4- current

"This is unfortunately the part where it gets a little more boring - see, Sophie goes and gets herself killed for good on the eve of the war on Tiamat (good riddance!), and Tate ascends to godhood through a wish to turn herself into a ferrous dragon god. One of these incidents is significantly more responsible than the other. 

We decide that we’re just going to three-man it. Pretty much whatever you think happens happens, so I’m retired now, feet up in Brother’s keep on the South Gate of Waterdeep doing my life’s work of taking the occasional legendary item commission (please don’t waste my time and ask to commission a Holy Avenger) and taking care of children rescued from slavers and bandits. 

In this, though, I balanced my own needs and decided to invoke the power of True Polymorph to transform permanently into a topaz dragon. Everything worked out according to plan anyway, and the last loose end was my inability to surmount antimagic - with a form I’d revert to that would be unbound by something as paltry as weak-willed mages, not many see a plot twist like this coming. Or I do and I die anyway, a loss I’m willing to take if I’m being outsmarted to that extent. You can’t plan for everything after all. 

At this point you’re wondering why I hadn’t mentioned Muirin throughout when she’s my twin sister: but Muirin has her own story to tell, I just bum in her place from time to time ensuring she stays fed and hydrated. Trauma forces distance, and to protect myself (as much as I love her) (as much as it hurts me) I have to make the difficult choice for us both. It was better for the both of us that way. 

It’s kind of funny how we both ended up being the only people to walk away because we’d laid down the foundations of a plan. Brother had told me about it being a legacy, a legacy that keeps giving: 

 "We are still the protagonists of our own story but this Tyranny of Dragons we may not play the role of hero or heroine, but we are playing that role in a far grander story that while may not be told as wide as this other story we are part of. We must remember we have done more and better than most of our peers. Just look at them and what they have accomplished. Tate ascended to Godhood via magical wish, Sophie is grounded for likely several generations of our lifetimes, Brother Milo is trapped in his position and duties but sadly has no long reaching or lasting impact as of now.” 

“Unlike them, we have built something that will live on and be grander than anything we may accomplish in our lifetimes. We have helped give less fortunate children a fair chance at life, founded a new knightly order that focuses on everything and not just the military aspect. We have established an orphanage that has schools built into its structure and established a fund to help our children, grandchildren, great grandchildren achieve their dreams. If I died today or even tomorrow knowing the Order of the Gemscaled Knights will live on and continue moulding the future makes me extremely proud and even more so knowing we will be remembered as the founders of such a great order. What better heroic path could anyone ever dream of following?"

He always seems to hit the nail on the head every time - and I find myself thinking, even as I’m dictating this from my desk in the Eye of the Storm, that I probably wouldn’t have wanted anything less. 

Once, I’d wanted to walk into the waters and disappear. Now? Maybe that can be put off for a couple hundred years while I figure child-rearing and hoards out.” 

[captainstevenjohnstonme]

'Roadkill'.

The following is a story about a redneck who has been collecting roadkill for years but now he is on the search for the ultimate roadkill.

As soon as the sun dips below the horizon a family of raccoons scamper from the safety of their burrow on the endless search for food.

The mother raccoon keeps an eye out for predators while her two kits as they dig for grubs and worms.

Hearing the sound of a nearby stream the mother decides to see if she can catch a fish that will feed the whole family for a couple of days.

After telling her young to be careful she quickly runs across a road and dives into the water but after swimming around for five minutes all she manages to catch is a small crawfish.

Seeing that the kits are still safe and sound the mother sits in the middle of the road to eat her share of the morning meal.

Just than a pick up truck comes flying around the corner and on seeing the racoon the driver swerves straight for her.

The raccoon makes a run for it but sadly she is hit hard and dies instantly.

The pickup truck skids to a stop twenty yards down the gravel road and a huge redneck emerges.

58 year old Myron Oxenford could easily pass as a brother of the wrestler Hulk Hogan except Myron wears nothing but pull up overalls, snakeskin boots and a cruel smile.

Myron works for Bilford county deep in the wilds of Mississippi and he enjoys going to work everyday except Sunday driving around the county scraping up roadkill, removing trees and any other debris that could be a hazard to the passing traffic.

He started working for the county right after leaving school at 14 at first he had a partner who drove the truck around the backroads but as soon as Myron learnt to drive he performed his civic duty on his lonesome which made his supervisor very happy because the other employees of the county refused to be in the same truck as Myron, mainly because of his erratic driving his cruelty to animals but mainly because of Myron's personal hygiene which was no existent.

He never showered or brushed his remaining teeth and his stink permeated through the cab of the truck so only fleas and mites could survive alongside Myron.

Today Myron is in a good mood and is even happier when he picks up the dead raccoon with his bare hands.

The coon is only slightly damaged so it will make a good stew with no gritty bits and its pelt will fetch some money or maybe he will stuff it and display the coon on his mantlepiece alongside his other critters.

At 4.30 Myron drives home with another collection of animals that will keep him fed for weeks.

Most are to mangled to be stuffed and mounted but the raccoon is untouched except for a broken neck.

He whistles a Glen Cambell song as he skins the roadkill consisting of gopher, snake, squirrel and skunk.

Myron chops the meat into bite sized pieces and throws them in a large pot along with potatoes, carrots and water.

While he waits for his meal to cook Myron places the raccoons pelt on a amature stand to dry and in around ten days he will stuff the raccoon with materials that are supposed to bring life back to a dead animal but Myron taxidermy skills aren't the best so like his other specimens the raccoon will resemble a misshapen creature from a horror movie.

MEOW MEOW MEOW.

A scrawny one eyed black moggy is drawn into the kitchen by the smell of food cooking 'Don't worry Crystal i haven't forgotten about you, I know that you like fresh meat so I saved a nice raccoon for you to chew on.

Myron throws the carcass onto the kitchen floor where it lands near some bones from the cats last meal.

Crystal is soon joined by another cat named Meth who spits and hisses at Myron 'Your time will come you ginger piece of shit, you should be grateful that I let you live in my house, now eat your fill before I shove you in a pipe and smoke it.'

Myron and Crystal cackle at the joke but Meth doesn't see the funny side so he tears off a hind leg with his sharp and carries the morsel out the back door of the cabin.

After drinking 100 proof moonshine for over three decades Myron's brain is now nothing more than mush and with every jar of shine that Myron drinks he drifts closer and closer to insanity.

Unbeknownst to Myron a field mouse has found a way into his cabin and while he sleeps the mouse laps up the drool that collects on a pillow and than the tiny creature goes into the living room and force feeds the liquid down the throats of the stuffed and mounted animals displayed on shelves.

When he wakes Myron changes into his dirty overalls has a quick slug of moonshine than he jumps into his truck to start another day on the job.

Sally Nulksteader a 26 year old married nurse is out for an early morning run enjoying some down time while her husband Brett is at home looking after their twins boys who just turned one is April.

Her running shoes hit the gravel hard as Sally attempts a personal best time and to pass the time she listens to music through some ear bubs.

When she rounds a bend Sally is a mere 500 yards from home just in time to give her boys a bottle before she has to leave to go to work at the local hospital but her joy quickly changes to horror when a pickup truck comes racing towards her.

Before she can jump out of the way Sally is hit front on.

Myron jumps from his pickup feeling a little queasy and unsteady on his feet.

His heart is racing as he approaches the mangled body then after checking that the coast is clear Myron throws the corpse in the back of his truck covers it with a tarpaulin.

After turning back the way he came Myron calls his employer to let them know that he want be in today 'Congratulations Myron' a little voice in his head whispers' You have finally found your roadkill masterpiece.'

Feeling proud of himself the drunk redneck starts singing a Willie Nelson song from way back and when he arrives back at his cabin he has sobered up and full of evil intentions.

First he brings the body inside and using a very sharp knife Myron carefully skins the corpse and an hour later he drapes it over a drying stands to keep for a week or so.

Than he slices the meat from the bones and after throwing the best chunks into a skillet he puts the rest of the meat into old moonshine jars full of vinegar and salt to preserve for a rainy day.

After adding some mushrooms to the meat in the skillet Myron cooks it for around seven minutes before spooning his meal onto a large plate Myron digs in.

While he chews the tender cuts of human flesh looks at the human skeleton that he put in a seat across from him 'So where have you been for most of my life? You should eat more and put some meat on your bones.'

Geeting no response Myron continues with his meal in silence and after eating with single bite he goes into his bedroom for a snooze.

While their owner snores Crystal and Meth emerge from under the couch, jump up onto the table and begin to chew the meat still clinging to the bones of the human sacrifice.

As the cats feed up on a high shelf a twisted bent stuffed bald eagle who has been slowly replenished by the drool brought to it and the other stuffed animals thanks to a tiny field mouse.

The eagle eyes open and its feathers unfurl and flutter startling the two moggies who dart back to the safety of their hiding place.

An hour later Myron emerges from his slumber with the taste of human flesh still in his mouth.

Eager for another taste he places some leftovers on the cooktop than goes for a quick piss.

The smell of his meal fills the cabin with its meaty aroma and Myron smiles anticipating another nice human meal but when he lifts the meat from the cooktop he is knocked off his feet by a weird looking cougar who has also been brought back to life by the helpful mouse.

The big cat could just bite the back of its victims neck killing it instantly but where is the fun in that.

The eagle swoops down and ties Myron's hands behind his back with a piece of sinew from Sally's left leg than the raptor plucks out both eyeballs with its beak and swallows them down.

Myron writhes on the floor in agony as the eagle and cougar begin to feed.

The pair eat slowly at first savoring every morsel but when the taste of blood hits their brain primal instincts take control and they eat rapidly completely ignoring Myron's screams for mercy.

Now the amateur taxidermist is the one who is well and truly stuffed.

THE END.

Part Two coming soon.

[gwimulchorom]

@hextech-bros​

Nakyri

guy kneels down and holds out his sword to swear loyalty to me but i just take the sword and run

[forabeatofadrum]

WIP Wednesday

Thank you @martsonmars @facewithoutheart and @urban-sith for the tags.

This time, I’m doing something different than a new snippet of Paradiso and I’d cry a river just for you. Welcome to the WIP Wednesday Hospital Ward. This is inspired by @facewithoutheart’s WIP Wednesday Graveyard, where she laid her WIPs that she will not finish to rest. I really, really liked that idea, but I quickly realised that I have the intent of finishing my WIPs and I will finish them. That’s a threat. To me. 

(Besides, I don’t look back to my abandoned fics. Oops. Not even a funeral!)

So instead of a graveyard, I welcome you to the (long-stay) hospital ward where my 10 patients will be waiting for me until I can tend to their needs. 

Please mask up, wash your hands, and leave your names at the visitors’ list @quizasvivamos @coffeegleek @captain-aralias @redheadgleek @dragoneggo @crissmastrees-and-candyklaines @esperantoauthor and other possible visitors!

Get ready, it’s a big hospital ward. I have... a lot of WIPs.

Patient no. 1 is a fic that I started writing before the release of AWTWB, so before we knew that Baz isn’t immortal. In this AU, Simon dies during his showdown with The Mage and Baz lives on on his own. (EDIT: I should maybe add that Simon’s still in this fic as a Visitor! Baz lives his immortal life, living for the moments that he gets to see Simon, which happen every 20 years.)

I almost did not go to the funeral.

In the end, I decided to go there to support Bunce. I wonder if I will ever forget the image of her screaming and clinging to Simon’s lifeless body. I don’t think I ever will.

It was short and, well, sweet. It was a private funeral. The entire World of Mages could mourn their Chosen One, the Greatest Mage who sacrificed himself to defeat the Humdrum.

We mourned Simon.

Patient no. 2 is a fix-it that I started recently after watching the glee episode A Wedding. Long story short, the Klaine and Brittana wedding is stupid, my boys and girls deserve better.

“But... But what?” Kurt asks, desperate to make some sense out of this situation.

“But... not like this,” Blaine squeezes Kurt’s hands. Kurt blinks, and he looks shocked, so Blaine starts to feel the panic rise. They just got back together and now he’s messing it up all over again.

In a rush of panic, he starts rambling. “I love you, so, so much and I do wanna marry you. You know I do. I asked you to marry me and I still want that for us, but our time apart made me realise that it’s okay to take things slow-”

“Blaine.”

Patient no. 3 once got mentioned in a Myosotis sylvatica author’s note, and that’s the last we heard of them. It’s a Kitty x Roderick fic called Drive Darling. Yes, it’s glee. Yes, these are glee characters. No I don’t blame you if you stopped watching before they appeared.

Alistair immediately kisses Spencer when he gets in.

“Only Roderick left!” Madison says happily.

“Oh, we gotta make a group photo for Myron,” Alistair suggests and Kitty still has troubles believing that Alistair is capable of talking. He’s incredibly shy, but Spencer makes him feel comfortable.

“We can do that at Roderick’s place,” Madison suggests, “He has a big garden.”

“You’ve been to Rod’s?” Spencer asks. It’s not a weird question. They barely hang out at Roderick’s place.

“A couple of times, yeah,” Madison answers and Kitty feels a pit in her stomach. She’s jealous. She knows where this feeling is coming from, but she tries to push it away.

Speaking of underrated ships, I’m not going to tell you what fandom patient no. 4 is from. If someone knows, please tell me. I will send puppies.

“Okay, whatever, why did you need to talk to me?”

Luke takes a deep breath. “So, before I met you, I asked Clyde about girls, so he taught me about girls.”

“I heard about that,” Rani waves it away. In fact, Clyde has told her everything, since he thought it was rather amusing that Luke got his first kiss in front of his mum.

“Now, I need you to teach me about boys.”

My longest running WIP is A rip in time, a Doctor Who universe crossover. I hope to have patient no. 5 discharged before the 13th Doctor leaves us.

All four Doctors are in their respective TARDISes and the companions take their time to explore the four space ships.

“I really like the addition of books,” Sarah Jane browses through the bookcases in Twelve’s TARDIS.

“Keep looking, Sarah,” Twelve says.

“For what?” Sarah Jane asks again. All Doctors seem to believe that one of the TARDISes has the key to the way out.

“Just… keep looking,” Twelve doesn’t sound convinced, but what else can they do.

Sarah Jane also sees a bookcase filled with old VHS tapes. She picks one up. “Marco Polo?” she reads out loud, “What do you mean, Marco Polo?”

“Oh, just one of my missing adventures. I call them my missing episodes,” Twelve says nonchalantly, while he’s reading the TARDIS’s scanner. He apologises to his ship before banging his fist against the monitor. “Come on, old girl, help me out.”

Patient no. 6 is a Zimbits Instagram influencer fic with a strong Lardo and Jack friendship.

“Cool. So, can I borrow that? I’ll buy you a beer.”

“I don’t drink,” Jack says and he holds the camera closer to this body.

Larissa notices and she raises an eyebrow. “You don’t want me to borrow it, do you?”

Jack slowly shakes his head. This woman, Larissa, has no idea what she’s asking of him. She doesn’t know what this camera stands for. She doesn’t know how this camera and Jack’s love for photography have brought light into his life after years of darkness.

She doesn’t know that this camera replaced his hockey stick.

I woefully admit that I forgot that patient no. 7 existed but I was going through my general Glee fic Word document and I came across Met hoeveel letters spel je dat, which is the unofficial second version of my abandoned Amsterdam die mooie stad, which has been a fic idea that’s been in my head since 2013 or something. Now that I’m writing Klaine in the Netherlands, I laughed when I found this. This patient has been on this ward for a long, long time.

“Stel Je Voor Draken,” Koen says, “It’s a small Amsterdam-based band. They’re really good. They mostly sing covers, but recently, they started playing some original songs.”

“Stel Je Voor Draken?” Kurt asks, “That name sounds ridiculous!”

“I know! That’s why they are so amazing,” Koen says excitedly, “Come on, Kurt. You’ve gotten better at understanding Dutch. What do you think Stel Je Voor Draken stands for?”

“Draken… dragons,” Kurt starts translating, but it’s difficult. He knows that je or jij means you. “Dragons… you… what do stel and voor mean? Stel… for. Dragons for you?”

“I’m gonna make it easier for you. What is voorstellen? There are two options. The first one is ‘introducing’, but the second one…” Koen trails off, waiting for Kurt to continue.

“See in front of you,” Kurt tries, “Im-Imagine. Imagine dragons?”

“Exactly!” Koen makes a small twirl with his bike, which is probably not a safe thing to do in the middle of the street. “It is an Imagine Dragons cover band.”

I’m riding the Dutch train for patient no. 8, but this isn’t a story that only takes place in the Netherlands. It’s a glee x Sense8 crossover that takes place in New York, San Juan, Jacksonville, Dublin, Amsterdam, Cebu City, Ljubljana and Melbourne. I don’t think I am ever going to fully write this fic. Maybe I’ll just post random snippets without it being a cohesive story, but I did publish an introduction to the Sensates here.

Artie sighs and he turns around and he sees that he’s stopped right in front of a body of water. That shouldn’t be here.

“You were about to dive right into the canal,” Puck says, “I had to stop you. Welcome to Amsterdam.”

Puck is right. Artie’s seen photos of Amsterdam, so this is definitely it. It’s dark outside and the air is chilly. They’re no longer in Melbourne.

“Am I contact high?” he asks Puck.

“I’m sober,” Puck tells him, “At least, I am now.”

“But… this is Amsterdam? This is really Amsterdam?”

Puck grins when he sees the excited look on Artie’s face. No one understands what just happened, but if he’s really in Amsterdam, then that is pretty amazing. 

“Amsterdam, die mooie stad…”

“... met hoeveel letters spel je dat?” Artie finishes. 

“You speak Dutch?” Puck asks in amazement.

“No.”

Puck pats Artie’s shoulder. “What the fuck is going on?”

“I don’t know,” Artie answers. Then, embarrassed, he asks: “But, uh, can you wheel me to the Red Lights District?”

Puck laughs loudly. “Tour de la Hoer, here we come!”

Truly, both don’t understand what just happened, but they can think about that later. This might not even be real, so Artie decides to enjoy it for as long as it lasts.

Patient no. 9 has been here for a while. It’s a Zimbits timetravel fanfic.

“Jack, calm the hell down. What has happened, has happened, and there is no way to change it. Besides, I wouldn’t change it for the world.” He holds up his left hand.

Jack looks down on his left hand. He will marry this man one day, and all because they met at Samwell.

Maybe that is why his future self doesn’t want Jack to know what is going to happen to him. What if future him remembers it wrongly? What if Jack wakes up in 2009 in four days, and he knows what is going to happen at the draft, and he will change his future?

Maybe his future self is just securing his life with Bitty.

“Oh.”

And lastly, patient no. 10 and I am so sorry to this fic, since my computer tells me that I haven’t opened this document since 2018. It’s once again a glee fanfic and it’s about Asian identity, diversity and intersectionality. Tina, Mike, Blaine and Wes are the main characters. Tina’s story is about being adopted into a white family, Mike’s about moving to America as a young child, Blaine’s about being biracial and Wes’s about being the child of immigrants.

Glee sometimes made their identity the butt of the joke (or they erased it in Blaine’s case) and this is me trying to give the jokes about Asian camp and Asian online forums a place. 

There’s so much diversity in the Dalton Asian Union. Wes hates it when people all lump Asia together and basically call it China. Wes grew up in a traditionally Chinese household. His parents moved to America to flee the Cultural Revolution and Mao’s dictatorship when they had the chance. At home, Wes speaks Mandarin with his parents, but English slips in every now and then. Sure, they changed their last names in order to have a better chance of getting a job, but that’s not because they hate being Chinese. No, America is just racist.

In the DAU, there are a lot of students who can relate to that. There are other Chinese students, but also Vietnamese, Korean, Japanese, Thai, and so on. Just like Wes, they all hate the fact that people immediately assume everyone’s Chinese. Asia isn’t even South East Asia only. There are also Pakistani and Syrian students in the DAU, because that’s Asia!

Outside the DAU, Wes is also part of the Ohio Asian Forum and he has two internet friends. Tina XxGothGirlTayTayxX, who is Korean, and Mike AsianDancer, who is Chinese as well. He’s never met them, but that is the beauty of the internet. He has told them about Blaine and they both agree that Blaine should be able to join the DAU.

Wes has tried telling Blaine that, but Blaine is sure he won’t join.

“I’ll never feel fully at ease, Wes,” he’d said and Wes was angry about that. The DAU is diverse. There are already other Filipino students in the DAU, so why can’t Blaine join?

Or better yet: why do they still give Blaine the feeling he can’t join or that he doesn’t belong? It basically sends a message to white-passing students that they’re not Asian enough.

Wow, that were 10 patients! If you’ve made it to the end, thank you for paying all of them a visit. Feel free to leave flowers. 

[hasansonsuzceliktas]

Spiritual Movies that Nourish Your Soul

One night in 2003, while channel hopping on TV, I came across a movie named Interstate 60. I read the summary and it looked appealing. The movie then started, and after I finished watching it, I watched it again. (That channel had a repeat function.) My mind was blown, my smile was wide, and I felt great. I had never watched anything like it before. That’s when my interest in spiritual movies began. Four years passed and then The Secret came along. It was also mind blowing for its time. Although it has its controversial aspects now, it was a revolution in spiritual documentaries. Oh, there was also What the #$*! Do We Know?, but it takes my interest only after The Secret. Afterwards, I became deeply interested in spiritual movies and watched many of them. I made recommendation lists for my followers in Turkey, and now I want to share them with you. I don’t want to give details about the movies, though, because you can look them up on IMDb or whatever. I want to instead share the reasons for why I recommend these particular movies. First let me be clear about one thing, though. What is a spiritual movie? Everything is spiritual. The life we live is spiritual, because everything comes out of the spirit. If we looked at it from this perspective, there is a vast number of spiritual movies. You can see the spirit in many such movies. For me, though, a spiritual movie is one that expands your view, your perceptions, your world, and your being. After finishing one, you do not feel like you are the same person that you were two hours ago. It has touched your soul and made you think and feel deeply. Some of them even blow your mind. Such movies have similar effects on others too. That is what I call a spiritual movie, so I selected movies based on that criterion.

Classic Spiritual Movies

These are the ones where I could say, “Haven’t you watched it yet? How can you call yourself spiritual?”

The Matrix You may well say, “Oh, come on! Starting with The Matrix? We’ve all watched it a million times. Give us something new!” Yes, I know. I also said it many times while checking the spiritual must-see lists of others. But last week, I watched the whole trilogy again because I wanted to find clues about “the loop.” By this, I mean the loop in our minds, which we may call dharma. I was thinking deeply about how I could get my mind out of the worldly plane. I then started to watch the trilogy and realized that The Matrix is about the trinity of mind, body, and soul. The machines could not understand love and therefore the soul, so the movie gives the message that the best way to get out of the worldly plane is through love.

Celestine Prophecy James Redfield’s novel was one of the first books I read in my spiritual awakening days. It is still marvelous, but the movie could have been better I think.

Peaceful Warrior Dan Millman’s marvelous book was adapted into a great movie. It touched many people’s souls, as I have witnessed many times. You have to read the book after watching the movie, though. The book has much more, as you can no doubt imagine.

Conversations with God We all love Neale Donald Walsch, author of the Conversations with God series, and this movie is about his life. It is a good movie.

Interstate 60 For me, this is the best spiritual movie of all time. In my mind, it’s a timeless classic. Yet when I checked other people’s lists on the web, I didn’t find this movie in many of them. It may well be that you still haven’t watched it yet. If not, prepare yourself for a spiritual feast. Even after watching it 30 times, like I have, you can still find many messages. Believe me when I say you can watch it many times over without ever getting bored of it.

What the #$*! Do We Know? This early spiritual documentary was labeled as talking heads (i.e., many experts coming together and talking about something). Quantum physics meets with spirituality and good drama in what is still a must-see documentary.

The Secret Ah! The Secret. We can still argue that it represents the law of attraction, but it is still a great documentary. It gave rise to the term “secret-like” when describing spiritual documentaries. Nowadays, when you mention The Secret, many people deride it, but it has still a special place in my heart.

Fight Club “The first rule of fight club is you do not talk about fight club.” Okay, I won’t, but I had to put it on the list.

Avatar If I feel like an avatar living on Earth, being controlled by someone’s conscious in another place, it is because of this great movie. I had to watch it again.

Groundhog Day A funny, classic movie about being stuck in a time loop. No doubt you have seen it already.

Baraka – Samsara Movies without words but with many deep meanings. Many years of work went into Ron Fricke’s movies, which are not just spiritual classics but also works of art.  

Lesser-Known Movies

These great movies are adored by many, but maybe you haven’t heard of some of them

Nossolar Do you want to know how the afterlife is? Based on the channelings of Chico Xavier, Nossolar is a great Brazilian movie about the afterlife.  

Bab’aziz This is the most beautiful movie about Sufism ever made. Nacer Khemir’s work is outstanding, and you can feel this great movie fill your soul. The soundtrack is also magnificent.  

Chaotica Ana This is one of the best movies about reincarnation and the goddess. Ana, a Spanish art student, meets Said in Madrid and they fall in love. After Said disappears, Ana starts to undertake hypnotherapy and finds out she has lived many past lives. You can find out the rest in the movie…  

The Man from Earth This very beautiful classic movie starts with a boring discussion between six university professors and turns into a great dialogue when one of them confesses that he is 14,000 years old. Still not watched it yet?  

Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter, and Spring You cannot forget this movie, even after many years. Korean director Kim Ki-Duk uses the symbolism of the passing seasons to tell this story of a young Buddhist monk’s evolution from innocence to love, evil to enlightenment, and ultimately to rebirth. Please watch it in HD on a big screen please. It is a Buddhist poem conveyed through cinema.  

Powder IMDb describes it as follows: “An off-the-charts genius who is home schooled and shunned after his last relative dies shows the unconscious residents of his town about connection awareness and the generosity of the spirit.” It’s the story of an albino boy with psychic powers. It is a classic, and I will never forget the scene with the hunter and deer.  

Defending Your Life This movie is also about the afterlife, but its story is told in a much funnier way. It is about love, karma, and rebirth. You will remember this movie from the scenes of a Japanese restaurant in Heaven.  

Serendipity A romantic movie about love and coincidence starring John Cusack and Kate Beckinsale.  

Sliding Doors Just one door staying open can change your life in this Gwyneth Paltrow classic.  

Little-Known Movies

If you’re saying, “Come on, we all know these movies. Give us something new!” Okay, here you go.

Valley of Flowers IMDBsays, “A great Asian love story, an unforgettable tale about passion, death and reincarnation. A mesmerizing Himalayan epic that spans two centuries, from the Silk Route of the early 19th century to the bustling metropolis of modern-day Tokyo.” It’s the most passionate story about soulmates ever made, and the love of Jalan and Ushna will take your breath away.

Looking for Muhyiddin A man (played by filmmaker Nacer Khemir, who also directed Bab’aziz) returns home to Tunisia to bury his mother. Following the burial, his father gives him an amana to take to a Sheikh named Muhyiddin. The man immediately sets out on an epic journey to find the long-lost Sheikh and deliver the amana to him. Throughout his journey, he is guided by a mysterious spiritual master and many friends of the Sheikh who he encounters along the way. As the adventure unfolds, we learn about the rich life of this Sheikh and his uncompromising love for humanity, for under his teachings, different beliefs, faiths, and ways of life can only converge and become one. The more we learn about the Sheikh Muhyiddin, the more we understand why he is so venerated across cultures and continents. Looking for Muhyiddin is a deeply lyrical odyssey into the soul of Islam through the life and the works of one of its most beloved mystics: Ibn Arabi. This is one of the best Sufi movies you will ever watch.

Happenstance Everyone knows Amelie, but did you ever hear about this other movie with Audrey Tatou. It is about coincidence and chaos theory, possibly the best one on the subject.

Un Buda IMDb says, “Un Buda follows two brothers orphaned as children when their parents were taken by the military during the ‘Dirty Wars’ of the 1970s in Argentina. Tomas is now a drifting and withdrawn young man who experiments with ascetic practices and has an instinctive compassion for others. His older brother Rafael is a university philosophy professor, detached and alone. Their struggles with each other and the world around them in Buenos Aires take a dramatic turn when they find themselves at a rural Zen center.” It’s a great spiritual movie from Argentina

Now and Forever If you want to watch an unforgettable spiritual love story, do not miss out on this one. I watched it many years ago, but some scenes still stick in my mind. IMDb summarizes it like this: “Against a backdrop of clashing cultures, John Myron and Angela Wilson find each other and over the years form a powerful bond. One tragic night, John rescues Angela from a wicked act of betrayal. Faced with its aftermath, Angela flees town, unaware that she has put into motion a dramatic and intense string of events that will forever change the course of their lives. Harboring a secret, John guides Angela to a shocking realization that will uncover the past. Now & Forever is a dramatic contemporary love story combining elements of spirituality, heart and integrity. They say sooner or later all love stories will end; Now & Forever is the exception...”  

An… This Greek movie is so special for me. We watch a choice and then the consequences in parallel universes. Demetris is a handsome man with a dog. One night while out with his dog, he meets Christina. In the alternate universe, he doesn’t go out with his dog, so he doesn’t meet Christina. We watch both sides of this simple choice. But fate says, if you are destined to meet someone, you will meet him or her whatever. Why is this movie so special for me? In one great scene, Demetris and Christina sit with a coffee and share love. I later found this coffee when I visited Athens and sat with my own love. I will never forget either that experience or this magnificent movie.  

Storm If you loved The Matrix, watch this Swedish version. It starts similarly when a man meets a mysterious woman with an evil man chasing her. The story then turns in a different direction. Please just find it and watch it.  

Ink Ink, a mysterious creature, steals a child's soul with the aim of using it as a bargaining chip to join the Incubi, a group of supernatural beings responsible for creating nightmares. It may seem like a horror movie, but it’s not. The less you know about it, the more you will enjoy it.   I know many other movies could be added to this list, but this is just a selection to start you off. There are also many spiritual documentaries, but I will share a list of these in our next issue… Read the full article

[livelovelaug-h]

Irreplaceable you pt 2

Sam x reader

Warnings- cancer: sad times. Angst. :(( Grab the tissues still.

"So I decided to cut out gluten. That was like the first thing that I did. I would just like wake up in the morning and feel like totally fatigued. Just like, "eh."

You laugh. This could be good. Next girl.

"You know, um his job he doesn't really like talking about it." She laughs. ?

Next girl. "You know what's funny I have a cat named Sam."

"oh okay."

"yeah." Nope. "Thank you."

You're writing down on some papers a few notes notes: too slutty. Too needy. Too freaky. Too neurotic.

Next girl.

"So it says on your online profile you were Phi Beta Kappa?" You ask.

"I had no life in college." You laugh.

"And now you're a researcher for the National Institute of Health?"

"Yes. Still have no life. I'm just... I'm just tired of being alone. I'm where I want to be career-wise, and I really would like to settle down and have a family."

She adds: "sorry, Natural caretaker. Also overbearing neurotic."

"I'm the same way." You say. "Um... Let's set up a date."

"Okay. Um, just... If I could just be honest with you, um, I just don't quite understand why a man would send his assistant to pre-interview women. I just... I don't get it. "

"Yeah, um... Here's the deal." She could tell by your face.

"Sally! Please don't hold it against him!" She starts walking away.

"This is the craziest thing like ever!"

You started picking up the papers to go catch the girl but you ran into in the waitress. "Oh, shit. Oh, sorry! I'm sorry! "

"No, I got it."

"It's kind of a long story."

"I... I think I heard it. I mean, I know I shouldn't, but spying on the customers is like the only thing that makes this job halfway bearable. You are way more interesting than most. "

"I know, it's unusual." You say.

"Yo, dude, I think it's awesome. Like, my mom died seven years ago. I was in high school. And after she passed, my dad spent every night alone. And I tried to tell him, "Go out. Live life. Find someone." But not just anyone. The right person. "

"Exactly. Which is hard."

She laughs "Right. imean, do you have any like friends or anything that could like take him off your hands?"

"Yeah his brother but not anyone that would get this girl stuff."

"Right. I mean, the thing is, finding the right one is actually about volume. You should host a mixer, like, invite some people."

"Yeah, right. Nothing says "fun" like a mixer hosted by your dying girlfriend."

"I mean, I'm having an art opening... at this gallery space on Friday. you could use it as a front.You, like, wouldn't even need to be there. And... And an art opening could bring together some really interesting women. Like the right types. Not that there wouldn't be some people there with like interested in the free snacks, but... "

"I wouldn't want to..."

"No, honestly, dude, you'd be doing me a real solid."

you laugh. I'm y/n.

"I'm Mira."

~~~~~~~~~

"A hundred and fifty dollars? This place is a rip-off. I could make this myself one week tops." Myron says.

"Focus, please. We just need to freshen up Sam's look a little."

"Why is that again?"

" Trust me. Any woman that meets him

is gonna want to shop for him. The wrong one will put him in these. He wears all plaid all the time"

"What are you doing?" You ask myron.

"What?"

"You're the only one who gets to make bad decisions because you're dying? Terminal cancer. Put it on my bill. "

"You're just so cool with everything. I'm not cool with any of this.

"I've been dying longer than you have. You get better at it. "

"How?"

"Well, it's like this vest. At first it's, "Why is that old man wearing that horrible vest? Pretty soon I become the vest guy. After that, you realize that you'd hardly recognize me without it. I look comfortable in it. It's a part of me, so... you accept it. "

"I don't think I can ever accept you in that vest."

"No?" He asks.

"Try this on. I want to see what it'll look like on Sam."

"Okay."

"But let me pair it with some skinny jeans."

Laughs.

"Okay. I look three days younger. "

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"These... Oh! They're cutting off my circulation. Seriously, my ankles are tingling, my feet are asleep."

"You look hot!"

"It's just... Can I ask what this is about?"

"Just some retail therapy. "

"Right. And where am I supposed to put my phone?"

"Now... Okay, this jacket is dry clean only. Which means, if I'm not around, do not put this in the laundry."

"I know what that means y/n."

"Oh. Shit. Laundry. All right, so... In here." You walk to the washer and he asks:

"Really?"

" Okay, so... "

" I know how to turn it on."

"Yeah, but colors, whites, delicates."

".. Right."

"The dryer sometimes gets stuck, so, uh, you just give it two kicks. you kick it twice Right here. Like that. And it will generally unstick itself."

Sam kicks it twice.

"Exactly."

"Uh, this dial is the minutes. It tells you how much time you have left.......... um, If the time runs out..... before the clothes are ready, you just... turn the dial."

"Hmm. Wait." You say feeling uneasy.

" What?"

[groaning] "are you okay?"

You start coughing and head towards the sink. You start throwing up.

"yeah I have that effect on women." You both laugh. "Too soon...?"

You say "yeah too soon."

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Her and her nightly what ifs. It was adorable though.

"What if I had run away and joined a cult?"

"I guess I would have to join too."

"What if relationships between cult members was frowned upon?"

"Like an asexual cult?"

"Yeah. And you couldn't do an intervention and get me out because I was totally brainwashed."

"Hmm. Well, I guess I would have to become a rival cult leader, re-brainwash you. according to my philosophy, and then steal you away into my cult, which would be a sex cult."

You start dying with laughter.

"What if I were exactly like me, except I had really terrible halitosis. I would get you a mint. Or I would destroy the olfactory receptors in my nose so that I didn't care."

....."What if I die?

"I would...

never recover." You guys cuddle and go to bed.

~~~~~ the next evening~~~~~~

You Sam and Dean are all In the same room.

"Should I be able to tell that you're circumcised in those jeans? 'Cause I can. And there's not a lot of, uh, room for imagination or your penis in those pants." You says.

"I don't want to go to this. I don't... I don't know anything about art."

You: "Yes you do. Would you relax? She just wants people there."

"Is she hot?" Dean asks.

"Trust me, Dean it will be a target rich environment." Sam answers.

"See? Come on, man. Free food, cute girls." Dean says.

~~~~~~~~~

"Come on, let's do this. " you say.

"How exactly do you know this artist again?"

"We met randomly at a cafe, and we really bonded and...

" When?"

' I... I don't know. I just... I don't want to disappoint her.

"Are you sure you can't come?" He asks you.

I- I don't feel up to it. Trust me.

"Okay. W... Well I'll go, just as long as you stop touching my hair.

"Hey, hey, hey, hey. "

'You're adorable." You say and he huffs a laugh. "Stop that!"

"Oh, he can move in them!"

"No, not really Dean."

Sam to Dean "you know i got a ring right before she told me she was 'pregnant and then now cancer."

"I didn't. You know you could still ask her."

"yeah she'll love that." he says sarcastically.

"it might give her some hope."

"yeah, maybe."

~~~~~~~In The car with myron outside the art meeting ~~~~~~~~~~

"Is he mingling?"

"He's admiring the art."

"Sam doesn't care much about art. Nah, he's just hoping if he keeps himself occupied with an activity, no one will actually talk to him."

[Myron] He's very good-looking.

Can I say that and not be awkward?

"Uh, yeah that's my whole point. What about you and your wife? How'd you two meet?"

"At a party."

"We were in college. We got hitched three years later. "

"That's it? No story?"

"The story came after. Getting married. Life. Building a home. Kids, grandkids."

"Sorry".

"It's okay. I won't know the difference, I guess."

"I just want those things for Sam."

"I have to hand it to you." Myron says.

"What?

"You are stubborn. This might be the worst plan in the world, but you're committed to it, and I like that."

"Yeah, well, don't be too impressed. Hasn't worked yet."

"I don't know about that." He says looking into the binoculars.

"What?" You look into the building.

"Let me see that." Sam is talking to Someone. "No, that's just the girl whose show it is."

[Myron] "So?"

"So she's just doing this as a favor to me. "

"So?"

"So, she's not his type."

"Yeah?"

You: "Oh, no. Don't do the snorty laugh.

"Ugh! He did the snorty laugh. Oh, he does that when he's... "

Myron : "When he's nervous."

"Happy."

"Here. Estelle's hot chocolate." Myron says ans hands you a coffee cup. "It cures whatever ails you. Except cancer."

He cheers "to the things we do for people we love."

~~~~~~~ bedtime ~~~~~

Sam walks in your shared bedroom. "I know you're not really sleeping. Because I know how your breathing sounds when you sleep. Which is something you don't even know about yourself."

laughs

"I know everything about you, y/n, But I have to say, you still know how to shock the hell out of me."

"What do you mean?"

"The clothes. The mixer. "

" Sam... "

"For the record, I am not a dummy. I know what's going on. And I went along with you trying to help me because I know it's helping you. But setting me up? Are you serious?"

"Please. You spend your life fighting monsters and researching all the time. Also always Looking after people."

"Sam, most people don't find what we had... have once, much less twice in a lifetime."

"What we have? You mean, a relationship where one person is... is lying, and sneaking around, and manipulating?*

" It's for your own good!"

"You just tried to manipulate my life! Or you mean a relationship where you have such a low opinion of me, that you truly believe that nobody else on the planet would ever fall for me."

"Obviously not. But that's the whole point!" You're gonna get swarmed, and it's gonna be impossible to find the right person!"

"I already found the right person! Or I thought I had." You

"Y/n/n's, I didn't... You know I didn't mean that. Hey, come here. are you okay?" He hugs you in the bed.

~~~~~~~~~ Sam and Dean sitting in the kitchen~~~~~~~

Sam: "What is she thinking? Does she think I'm completely clueless with women?"

"Dean?"

"No."

"Yeah? No.

" Wait, what?"

"you've just never seen me in action."

"Hm no, no and I never want to."

"What do I do?"

"Look, all you can do is be there for her, however you can. i mean, look, she's got to be scared out of her mind. And right now she needs to know that the worst thing happens.... That you are gonna be okay."

You and Myron go out bird watching. He speaks up : Are you ready to drop this mishigas with Sam?"

"You think I should?"

"Here's what I know: You don't have as much time as you think you do.*

" I don't?"

"No."

"What are you trying to say?" You ask heart racing.

"I'm not saying it, the Buddha did."

"I didn't realize you were Buddhist."

"I'm not, but it stuck with me. And it's true for you. It's true for every person on the planet."

[Myron] I need some snacks. Could you...

Oh. I can't believe you eat those things." You say handing him a bag of cheese curls.

"They're tasty."

"The chemo has clearly destroyed your taste buds."

"Try one".

"They're disgusting."

"Keep going. You get to tasty."

[crunches]. "The second bite is actually not as bad."

Myron: Good for you, too.

~~~~~ later at night~~~~

"Okay. Someone... who hikes." Sam says randomly.

"What?"

In the future, if I ever did this again, which I probably won't, but if I did, and if it makes you feel better to know, it would be with someone who hikes."

" We never hike."

'Because you hate it."

"That's not true."

"We took that one hike up Bear Mountain Six years ago, you complained the entire time."

"That's because hiking is boring. It's basically walking. And walking is something you do to get somewhere. Hiking from your car up a hill and then back to your car is totally pointless."

"Okay". he laughs.

"Duly noted." You say. "Hiking.

"Thank you."

"What else?"

" I like dancing." You scoff.

"I would like to try ballroom dancing classes. You know, like the fox-trot or the waltz, even though... "

"It's lame."

" I know you think it's lame."

''The fox-trot? Seriously?''

" Yeah!"

"How about something just moderately nerdy like swing."

"Is this person for you or for me?

"Okay.".

" Good. I get it. I'll update your profile.

"What profile?"

"This profile."

"God."

"You're welcome".

Next morning on a walk--

"So you've been pretending to be me?"

"you're sick you know that?"

"so?"

"okay so how do you like this profile picture?"

"you took a picture of me sleeping??"

"hey come on I've worked really hard on this. No? You don't okay fine. Want to take another one?"

"yeah let's take another one."

"Okay" he sits down on the bench and smiles. You press the button and bammm.

"what do you think of that?."

"oh it's good!"

"uh huh."

"do it in black and white."

Sam: "are you coming to bed?"

(glass shatters) "oh."

"y/n??" He walks in the room. "Y/n what is it?"

"It's broken."

" Oh, shit."

" It's broken."

"It's okay. We can just... We can get another one. It's fine."

'No, we can't! You gave it to me when we were kids.." you cry but he picks you up and takes you to bed. He holds you all night and lets you cry. He knows this can't be easy.

To be continued

[evolutionsvoid]

The Seabee is a creature that has one of those names that perfectly describes the critter as a whole. It is a species that looks like a bee and lives in the sea. While it indeed has the appearance of a bee, it is by no means a real one. It is an insect, but it is not in the same family as those little honey makers. The "wings" you see on its back are not used for flight, but are specialized gills that allow it to live its aquatic lifestyle. What also helps with survival is their heavy carapace, which features segmented plates for both mobility and defense. The abdomen is capable of bending and flexing, which it uses to propel itself like dolphin's tail would. To further help with swimming is its hindmost legs, which have broadened and flattened into paddle-like structures. The Seabee spends most of its life near the bottom of the ocean, skimming across the floor as it searches for prey. Their sharp mandibles and clawed front limbs help catch prey as they glide through the water. Their gills are capable of flapping and vibrating like wings would, but they are used to stir up sediment and scare hiding morsels from their homes. While swimming over rocks and coral, it will shake and rub its wings to startle hiding prey and force them to flee. That is when a mighty push of its tail will cause it to surge forward so it can grab the running meal. All in all, the Seabee is a rather simple creature that lives a nice, plain life, to the point where I originally though there wasn't much to write about this species. Doing some digging, though, as led me to discover something truly unusual about the Seabees. Well, more about how people see the Seabees. Ocean creatures and mysterious beasts of the deep do capture the imagination of sailors and fishermen, but the Seabee is something truly special. And that is that this simple species seems to have the ability to make people lose their freaking minds. Now you may think that I am talking about some strange psionic power or mind control ability that the Seabee has, but no. What I am talking about is how sailors, fishermen and folk of the sea seem to go absolutely crazy when they encounter this creature. You think Ningen, Venom Dragons and Hydromancers would be the most terrifying things of the sea, but those all pale in comparison to the Seabee. The stories I have heard about these creatures is truly mind boggling, and I can't help but wonder if saltwater and sun poisoning are the true sources of these tales. At first I thought people were tugging my roots, but several colleagues have confirmed that such things are true. It starts when a Seabee is brought aboard a vessel, which can happen by either accidentally catching it in a net, or hanging close to shallow water and having it latch onto the side of the boat. When it climbs aboard or is hauled to the deck, the crew will take notice and that is when the madness begins. Apparently when sea-faring folk encounter this creature they go into a full blown, uncontrolled frenzy. This not your usual panicking due to an odd looking fish, this an absolute, frothing, mindless sweet-death-take-me-now unhinged state of madness and fear. When faced with a Seabee on the ship, people will: run around like mad men, scream uncontrollably, flail about in a shrieking fit, barricade themselves in the hold, throw themselves overboard, throw other people overboard, rush to the lifeboats then throw themselves overboard, cry out to the gods for mercy, scream to the gods in despair, throw fellow crew members at the flopping creature in hopes of saving their own skin, or (if all that isn't enough) set the whole freaking ship ablaze while everyone is still on it. I kid you not, this is totally a thing. I have not seen it myself, of course, and that is because I am not a fan of sailing. I only go out to sea if there are no other options, and when I do, I usually hide in the belly of the ship the whole time because saltwater does not do good things to plants. So far I have not dealt with this lunacy, but some of my colleagues have witnessed this. Even outside of their recollections, I have heard sailors talk about the one time they met a Seabee and they tell these stories with the same grim tone as one would use for war stories. One fellow told me how a Seabee climbed aboard their ship once, and the crew decided that the only course of action was to ram the vessel into a reef. The crew spent the next two weeks barely surviving on that spit of land, but to this day, the man seems adamant that they did the right thing. For some odd reason, Seabees are feared more than sea serpents and Hydromancers, and I have no clue why. They are not too adept at land-based movement, so they either flop about or scuttle awkwardly across the ground. They will flutter their gills rapidly, creating a weird hissing/buzzing sound as they do it. They also pose very little danger, save for a nip from their claws and mandibles. However, such a statement would be considered false in the eyes of these sea men, as the Seabee, to them, is a truly deadly creature. It is not the claws and mandibles one has to fear, it is their cursed stinger and the horrors it brings. 

Much like the bees they are compared to, Seabees possess a stinger at the end of their abdomen. This is a defensive structure that is used to ward off predators and keep attackers from nipping at their tails. The venom in this stinger only causes a brief burning pain, which is meant to buy time for the Seabee to escape. It is by no means fatal, or really that damaging. It is just a painful sting that will go away after a few hours. No big deal, or so you would think. To the seafaring community (and a surprising amount of other folk as well) the sting of a Seabee is a cursed thing. It is referred to as the Mark of the Seabee, and it is something truly horrifying. Those who are stung by the Seabee are forever damned by the ocean itself. To bear the mark and be in the presence of the sea is to bring death and destruction upon you and anyone nearby. In some cases, being anywhere near water is enough to trigger the foul curse that the mark brings. What this supposed thing does is quite vague, as they just claim that the Mark of the Seabee shall bring ruin to you and all those that are nearby. Most of the tellings I have heard have just ended with storms hitting the ships and the bearer winds up being swept out to sea or being thrown overboard by their fearful crew. Honestly, I kind of find it to be a self-fulfilling prophecy. You get stung and your fellow sailors start panicking with the thought that your mark will spell their doom, so they chuck you overboard and you drown. Then people start saying that the mark is s symbol of death, despite the fact that they are the ones who do most of the killing. It is crazy, and that's not the end of it. Those who get stung and bear the mark will go into self-imposed exile, fleeing the ocean and all water bodies. They fear that the water will trigger the mark, so they run to arid places to hide. In the end, it does not matter if they flee or not, as the mark may still claim them. One story talks of a sailor who fell down a well and drowned just mere months after being stung. Another fled to the wilds, but wound up dying from a gut disease due to drinking from a foul pond. One tale tells of a man who died of a heart attack hours after drinking water, and there is an even more chilling one that is about a fellow who swore off drinking water forever but then still died anyway! Oooooo! Scary! Cripes, I can't even believe I am writing half of this stuff. How so many people can be afraid of the Seabee to such a ludicrous degree is a mystery for the ages. Maybe I am in the wrong and there is something to all this, but I feel that this is all some serious overreacting. If a Seabee winds up on your boat, how about you just toss it back into the ocean?       Chlora Myron Dryad Historian

[bigyack-com]

Joseph Segel, Founder of the QVC Shopping Network, Dies at 88

Back in the Dark Ages — before the internet, before Amazon — there were other ways to satisfy your craving for impulse buying from the comfort of your home.You could sit down in front of your television at the appointed hour, pick up the receiver on your telephone — if the cord stretched that far — and order from the Home Shopping Network.When Joseph Segel, a marketing expert and entrepreneur who had founded the Franklin Mint, the maker of commemorative coins and other collectibles, saw a video of the Home Shopping Network in 1986, he thought it rather primitive. He was sure he could create a better, more professional shopping experience.What he came up with was QVC, which became a powerhouse television shopping network that would rival the Home Shopping Network and later eclipse it. (Both are now owned by a conglomerate called Qurate Retail Group.)QVC featured live broadcasts of unscripted hosts demonstrating products — from jewelry and intimate apparel to electronics and snow blowers — while keeping up a waterfall of chitchat as they built a relationship with their audience.“QVC made it easier for people to shop than going to the mall,” Mr. Segel said.QVC’s success on television presaged that of retailers on the internet like Amazon and Walmart.“He was a visionary whose ideas changed the way the world shops,” Mike George, chief executive of Qurate, said in a statement.Mr. Segel died on Saturday at an assisted-living facility in Gladwyne, Pa. He was 88. His son Marvin said the cause was congestive heart failure.In a career that spanned five decades, Mr. Segel founded 22 companies in fields as diverse as publishing, minting, photography, aviation, software, hospitality, television broadcasting and behavior modification.He had an innate feel for what consumers wanted and for how to sell it to them. In 1964, he observed two disparate events: national mourning for Gen. Douglas MacArthur, who led the Allied victory over Japan in World War II, and a run on banks to buy silver dollars before they were discontinued. Mr. Segel put those two events together and started manufacturing sterling silver commemorative medals of MacArthur. That business quickly grew into the world-renowned Franklin Mint.But there was nothing like his success with QVC. Mr. Segel had long retired from the Franklin Mint and his other ventures when he thought he could improve on the Home Shopping Network. (Always stirred by a new idea, he was famous for retiring and then un-retiring to pursue something else.)He started QVC — the letters stand for Quality, Value, Convenience — in West Chester, Pa., a suburb of Philadelphia, where it established a reputation as the world’s foremost purveyor of simulated gems, macramé sweaters and coffee-table knickknacks. Within a few months, it was broadcasting around the clock.The network required its hosts to be deeply familiar with the products they were pitching. Mr. Segel, an accomplished photographer, even went on the air himself to sell cameras.He preferred the soft sell to the hard sell, information to pressure tactics, and wanted hosts to convey a product’s virtues through relatable storytelling. (“My sister wore this and it was a knockout.”)QVC’s secret sauce hasn’t changed much since then. “We connect with customers via authentic stories, interesting personalities and award-winning customer service,” the network says on its corporate website. “We invite customers to tell their stories and share their feedback. And we do it live, across multiple networks and platforms.”Above all, Mr. Segel emphasized customer service, hence his motto: “Give customers more than what they expect.” The network displayed its shipping and handling fees onscreen and helpfully broke down how items could be paid for in six easy installments.He was a hands-on, detail-oriented boss, according to employee testimonials. He told his hosts what words to use and not use and wrote them memos about their performances. One day employees saw him kicking boxes down the stairs — he was testing the packaging to see if it could withstand rough treatment.At the time of its first broadcast, on Nov. 24, 1986 — the first item offered was an $11.49 shower radio — the network was carried by 58 cable providers in 20 states. Today Qurate, its parent company, reaches 380 million homes worldwide through 15 television networks.In 1986 there were 17 other new shopping channels trying to improve on the Home Shopping Network model. QVC was the only one to survive into the ’90s.Mr. Segel retired as QVC’s chairman in 1993 but stayed on as a consultant until 2013. (The media mogul and Fox Broadcasting Company founder Barry Diller succeeded him as head of QVC.) In 2002, when Mr. Segal accepted the Lifetime Achievement Award from the Electronic Retailing Association, he offered this additional explanation for QVC’s success:“There’s no bad news on QVC,” he said. “It brings great cheer to everyone. When you tune to QVC, there’s nothing about Iraq or Al Qaeda or snipers. There’s not even any sex or violence on QVC — that is, not in front of the cameras.”Joseph Myron Segel was born on Jan. 9, 1931, in Philadelphia to Albert and Fannie Segal. His father worked in real estate, and he and his wife raised their two children, Joe and Jane, in West Philadelphia.Joe was a natural entrepreneur, starting a printing business that sold business cards at 13. He was 16 when he enrolled at the Wharton School at the University of Pennsylvania, graduating in 1951 with a bachelor’s degree in economics. Wharton then took him on at 20 to teach Marketing 101 while on the side he ran a business, the Advertising Specialty Institute, which published a directory of promotional materials to help new businesses get off the ground. His first marriage, to Renee Paul, ended in divorce. In 1964 he married Doris Greenstein, who died in 2018. In addition to his son Marvin, from his first marriage, he is survived by another son, Alan, from his second marriage; a stepdaughter, Sandy Stern; six grandchildren; and four great-grandchildren. His sister, Jane Segel Neff, died in 2014.Even after he retired from QVC, Mr. Segel started a half-dozen other businesses. Most involved skin care and beauty products.Business was never far from Mr. Segel’s thoughts, his son Marvin said. Even in his final days, he shared with his granddaughter Devon Segel, a businesswoman, this advice: “Don’t worry about the margins. Be brave. Bold marketing is what cuts through the noise.” Read the full article

[marjaystuff]

Elise Cooper Interviews Michael Connelly

Fair Warning by Michael Connelly brings back two of his best characters, journalist Jack McEvoy, and former FBI Agent Rachel Walling.  Connelly, the master of mysteries, seems to have a ten-year-interval between series books.  This hero and heroine were first introduced in one of the best suspense novels ever written, The Poet.  Ten years later they came back in The Scarecrow, and now they are partners again in this book.

The book begins with the killing of a female during a sexual encounter.  After being questioned by two police detectives, Jack McEvoy becomes a person of interest.  It seems he had a one-night stand with the woman in the past. Against the warning of the police Jack decides to investigate and finds that there are other women killed in the same manner.  Disguised as an accident, they have died of atlantooccipital dislocation, a broken neck, from a fall or by other means. What links the women together is that all of them had signed up for a DNA site called GT23.  Jack believes they were victims of cyberstalking and convinces his skeptical editor that this indeed is a FairWarning story. GT23 charges users only $23, explaining in the fine print in its contracts that the low fee is possible because the company sells data to various users.  It doesn’t disclose that such companies sometimes resell the information.  What the women, DRD4 or “dirty four”, have in common is that they have an addiction gene, either alcohol, drugs, or sex.

Knowing he cannot investigate on his own, Jack asks his former girlfriend, Rachel Walling, to help out. The two pick up where they left off two years ago, both professionally and personally. Together they find that the women’s information is sold to incel (involuntary celibate) men, who blame women for their inability to find sex partners.  One of these women-haters is the killer known as the Shrike. They race to find the killer before he strikes again, putting their lives in danger.

Connelly fans will not be disappointed with this gripping and riveting plot.  The main characters are a fabulous team that makes the story stand out. Readers will be on the edge of their seats and can only hope that the next book with this duo happens much sooner than later.

Elise Cooper: Why bring Jack and Rachel back now?

Michael Connelly:  This book is a reflection on what is going on with journalism now.  This has always been an interest and focus of mine.  The last few years there has been an era of “fake news,” and reporters labeled enemies of the people.  It has bothered me because I had been a reporter for fourteen years.  I know a free media is so important to society.  I wanted to write a story showing an unbiased and undaunted journalist doing his job.

EC:  The series with Jack and Rachel always seems to have warnings about technology?

MC: There is an evolution of technology in the series.  For every great stride made with technology there has to be someone to figure out how to use it against us.  The Poet, that came out in 1996, showed how technology was used by pedophiles.  The Scarecrow was about digital security of information stored on the so-called “Cloud.”  This book delves into privacy issues regarding DNA.  

EC:  Did something spark your interest regarding this storyline?

MC:  Last year, I read a storyline where the Pentagon warned people about DNA sites.  I put this quote in the book, “Did you know that this year the Pentagon told all member of the military not to do DNA kits because of the security issues they pose?” This sparked my imagination and interest.  The old reporter in me found this world is pretty much unregulated. The government is studying what regulations should be put on this billion-dollar industry.  Because the government moves slowly there has been no oversight and leaves a place for corruption.  I put my research into the book. I like it when there is a blurred line between reality and fiction.

EC: Is the website true?

MC:  FairWarning is a real news site offering tough watchdog reporting on consumer issues. It is a nonprofit founded by Myron Levin, who is Jack’s editor in the book. I am a member of FairWarning’s board of directors. To find out more information just go to FairWarning.org. I want readers to understand this is not science fiction.

EC:  How would you describe Jack?

MC:  Jack is a paranoid guy, but has legitimate concerns about how secure is any information. As a journalist he seeks to wander if that paranoia is valid.  Because he has a single-minded drive and is so career-oriented he appears rough and is hard to like.  He speaks first and thinks later.  Since this is a book about DNA I would say that in the center of his DNA is ‘I must protect my story from everyone,’ including other reporters, the police, his boss, and even Rachel.  This is not a great way to function, but he is set in his way. He realizes he is not bound by the ethics of law enforcement, but bound by the ethics of journalism.

EC:  How would you describe Rachel, a badass who kicks butts?

MC:  Rachel is not tough to like.  I think readers like her on the first page they meet her.  There has to be a DNA gene for female fierceness, which is what she has.  She is fiercely protective of what is important to her. She fiercely has the ideas of fairness and righteousness.  She is a great role model for anyone that sees women as fierce fighters who stand up for justice. I think Rachel is the ultimate hero of these stories.  She is tough and is the centerline to keep Jack from flying out of orbit. Although no longer an FBI Agent, Rachel is able to give the law enforcement aspect with her connections.  

EC: What role does their relationship play in the book?

MC: Jack is able to connect more with readers through his relationship with Rachel. They are made for each other in short bursts because they cannot go the distance.  They always seem to be entangled with each other. Besides being a character in her own right, she is like the carnival barker that gets people into the Jack tent. They go in because of her. Unlike this couple, I do not have it in my own life.  I have been happily married for 36 years.  I am writing about something that is not akin to me, which for me, makes it fascinating to write about.

EC:  In all the books of this series there is the “bullet quote?”

MC:  You are referencing when Rachel told Jack that she believed everybody had somebody out there in the world who could pierce their heart like a bullet. Not everybody had the good fortune of meeting that person, and not everybody could hold on to that person if they did meet. For Jack and Rachel there had never been any doubt. Her name was on the bullet that pierced Jack and he was the one that pierced Rachel’s heart. I can still remember when I wrote those lines.

EC:  There is also a quote that complements the “bullet quote?”

MC:  Yes, this Jack quote, “My interactions with her had spanned nearly twenty-five years and had been hot and cold, intense and distant, intimate and strictly professional, and ultimately heartbreaking. From the beginning, she had left a hole in my heart that could never quite heal. I could go years without seeing her but I could never stop thinking about her.” It is filtered in the whole world of books that have Rachel and Jack.  

EC:  Would you ever consider a TV show with this series?

MC:  I would love that.  Over the years I developed it, but it has never gone forward.  Jack does not carry a gun and his true role in society is to observe, not to push the action.  He only pushes the action because Rachel is with him.  I think a better thing to do is to serialize the story telling, like the Bosch series, where a book is carried over a whole season.

EC:  In this season 6 of the Bosch TV series on Amazon the FBI Agent was not Rachel, as it was in the book, The Overlook?

MC:  Yes, because I did not want to give Rachel’s character up in Bosch.  Then I would never be able to make a TV show with someone else because Amazon would have all the rights to her character. I am thinking ahead that the books with Jack and Rachel would spawn some interest.  

EC:  Also, in the Amazon series you took a page out of Hitchcock, a “where’s Michael?”

MC:  I implant myself, which was fun to do.  I am not at the set every day so the director asked me if I wanted to be in it.  Last year I made an appearance and this year as well.

EC:  What about your next book?

MC:  I do want to get back to Rachel and Jack sooner than the ten-year gap. I just do not have a plan yet, but am hopeful we will see them fairly soon.

My next book will have Mickey Haller, entitled The Law of Innocence. I try to make my books very contemporary, and so it was actually set in April of this year. Then the virus happens, and we just don't know how we come out of this, or where we are going. It is a courtroom drama and there are no courtrooms because everything was shut down.  I had to retool and rethink. So rather than it starting in April, it now starts in December or may go into next year. The plot has Mickey Haller accused of a murder and is jailed.  He strategizes his defense from a jail cell.  

THANK YOU!!

[gwimulchorom]

“你的盼望, 是我握在手中小小的太阳”

Your hopes on me is the little sun I cup in my hands.

--------

They snuggled together in bed, a gesture they seemed to reflect even after years apart. A moment passed before Muirin poised to get up first and Myron reached over, possessively grabbing her sister in a tangle of limbs to ensure she couldn’t escape her deathgrip.

“I have work--” Muirin pushed Myron’s face from her, reaching for a pillow to smack her with, “I can just teleport away, and you know that.” Even then, Myron scoffed, feeling Muirin relax against her despite her protests. 

“I’ll counter it if you try. Cheap spell of the 2nd circle that it is,” Myron grumbled, reeling Muirin back in, “The Twins can wait a moment before opening. We both have Simulacrums going - and a lot of time. Let’s sleep in for a bit more, and then get ourselves a sprawling breakfast.”

Muirin peeked up at Myron, before sliding out from under her. “Are you making it?” she teased, sitting up and reaching over to push Myron back up to a seated position, “Seems like the Roaringhorn’s been doing you some good. Your meals are starting to improve too. Did cooking for 50 people force you to get better ingredients and actually bother to take care of yourself?”

Myron flopped to a seat, ruffling her fluffy head of hair before squinting into space. “Brother very much does the opposite. In fact he tries to cook for me as much as possible...but yes, I’ve been taking better care of myself these days. Can’t fall apart if I’m in charge of so many children now, right? Don’t want them to worry about me as much as possible.”

“If he was abusing your goodwill you know I’d flay him. I’ve always wanted to see what’s inside a celestial being,” Muirin shook her head, fluffing her pillows and neatly setting them aside, “In the end, all it took was letting you adopt a gaggle of kids to have you sort yourself out. You felt so guilty taking favors from me all the time. Why? Making a small personal army in Waterdeep’s name?”

“They can decide what they want to do with their lives. You know better considering we were taken and trained, no say in that matter,” Myron rubbed her eyes before reaching blindly for her seal plushie behind her, slipping the toy inside one of her pouches, “They can be my personal army for all I care, but I doubt the Witch of the North really needs more rumors about her.”

“I like that. Has a mysterious type of zing to it,” Muirin wiggled her fingers, striding over to pull her twin to her feet, “Do they even put two and two together? Those people don’t even know who they’re talking to half the time.”

“No, and I’d like it to be kept that way,” Myron stumbled against her sister’s weight, allowing Muirin to guide her, “Where else am I going to get speculative portraits of myself as a sinister old crone punishing the corrupt and ruining cults? I need to get my entertainment somewhere.”

“Could offer you some jobs,” Muirin let herself bear Myron’s weight as they walked to the kitchen together, “Want to help me kill vampires at Greenest? Thay killed that piece-of-shit tree that was giving us so much trouble, but you know how they’re like about ensuring we’re both out of that picture. If not, I’m sure there’s some logistical paperwork for Greenest and Waterdeep I’ve been putting off. And also building more items for The Twins...”

“Already working on things for sale. Don’t have to tell me twice,” Myron rested her legs on the table, leaning backwards with acrobatic balance, “I don’t mind going to punt some undead. Need to put my arcane armor to the test anyway. I wonder how well the barding sigils would stretch on a dragon’s body...”

“Don’t,” Muirin gave Myron a warning glare, making a gesture to allow coffee to fill both their mugs on its own, “For someone so determined to keep all her identities separate, you keep trying to fly in as a dragon like you aren’t scaring the townsfolk less than two years after a major dragon attack.”

“I’m a nice dragon!” Myron protested as she accepted the coffee, pouting dramatically, “Maybe they need to read up more on the Draconomicon about topaz dragons instead of scattering in fright. I’m cute and lovely.”

“Getting people to read and improve on themselves? Tall order,” Muirin sighed as she evaluated the items in her stash, “What are you feeling this morning?”

Myron jumped to her feet, already limping over to toss around some ingredients Muirin had set out. “Bugs? We could call back to our roots and eat bugs. Personally I’m feeling toast and eggs,” she rambled, already setting aside her ingredients of choice, “How about some sausages? We hardly get sausages coming in these days. I’m so hungry. Maybe I should get Brother to request for more prime cuts from the surrounding regions.”

“We can discuss business later,” Muirin set out the plates, settling in with mug in hand as she leafed through her copy of the Waterdhavian Times, “If you’re hungry, how do you think I feel?”

“Boo. You wouldn’t even help me cut the crust off the toast and butter it,” Myron protested, already skilfully making scrambled eggs on the makeshift grill - a spark of green flame was all it needed to sputter to life, “Is the papers really that much more important than spending time with your beloved sister?”

Muirin sighed, gesturing to the loaf in front of her to start slicing itself. “You pull that all the time. We lived together for months after I found you again, I think I’ve had quite my fill of you,” she muttered, pulling the papers closer to her face.

“Blasphemy. Nobody gets tired of me,” Myron teased, mixing the butter into the eggs with a satisfying sizzle. “I want my toast triangular.”

[miniaturelovercollectionstuff]

Merril Myron Burgess

My Tribute to Dad (Merril Myron Burgess)

Written by his oldest daughter, Marilee Burgess Cook

Written maybe in 2009 and possibly earlier than that

I would like to start off by writing a poem for you, Dad, in commemoration of all of the great poems that you have written, especially for missionary farewells and homecomings over the years. Here it is

I am glad You are my dad.

You can keep that poem in your scrapbook and read it often in the upcoming years.

Now, I would like to mention “Twenty-five Reasons Why I Love Dad.

1. Dad likes to embarrass me. I remember going on my very first date and Dad asking the boy if he was a democrat or a republican and scaring him to death. I remember Dad tossing rolls across the table when Charles came to dinner at our house for the first time.

2. Dad is very competitive. I remember Dad drawing “the line” across the table during a game and saying “This is it. I’m going to win from now on.”

3. Dad is a basketball nut. I remember Dad teaching me how to be a stake basketball scorekeeper when I was only a Beehive and watching countless basketball games that he refereed or played in.

4. Dad took us camping. I remember Dad fishing with me at China Meadows. I remember Dad taking us to the sand dunes for the second day in a row instead of exploring because all of us kids begged him to. I remember Dad falling out of a tree when we were camping and playing hide-and-seek. I remember playing Becka with him.

5. Dad enjoys danger. I remember riding on the back of Dad’s motorcycle with him. I also remember that Dad always took steep, very scary dirt roads in the mountains or made his own road just for fun. Then he somehow always needed to turn around at a very narrow part next to a steep cliff.

6. Dad is brave. I remember Dad taking me to the Sizzler and talking to me about the facts of life before I got married.

7. Dad is compassionate. I remember Dad coming and getting me in Colorado and taking me home when I became so sick with my stomach problems. He entertained me and watched movies with me and gave me a great blessing in the car.

8. Dad is wise. I remember going to Dad when I had important decisions to make and always respecting his opinion and advice.

9. Dad is spiritual. I remember standing in the prayer circle with Dad when I got my endowments. I remember Dad baptizing me, confirming me, speaking at my mission farewell, being the witness at my wedding, and giving me countless priesthood blessings over the years. Dad has had many important callings and is a great bishop. He really cares about his ward members. He has had many great spiritual experiences throughout his life and most recently saved my life during a camping trip last summer.

10. Dad is scary. I remember Dad being in the bishopric when I was a teenager. Once he scared me half to death when he and Bishop Steve Cook followed me home at 2 a.m. I was coming home from working at McDonalds and they were coming back from some ward problem. I parked in front of the house and he parked behind me. I thought that some weirdo was stalking me and started honking the horn. Dad got out of the truck and came up to my window and I jumped a foot. He also always seemed to scare our cousins. He purposely thought of mean things to do to our dates to scare them and enjoyed it greatly.

11. Dad is fun. I remember Dad taking us to drive-in movies when I was very little. I remember Dad hitching up the trailer and meeting Charles and I at a rest stop for a surprise dinner for a girl’s choice dance. I remember working with Dad at the Wheel-In- Market and how he would by me a sandwich, chips, drink and a treat and we would go home very late at night and watch TV in his bedroom and eat. (Of course, I also remember getting locked in the ice machine while working there with him.) I remember working for Dad at Burgess Plumbing on occasion. I always liked it when we had to stop off at Plumber’s Supply and we got free donuts.. I remember playing many card games with Dad. We used to play Crazy Eights when we were camping and Mom was making breakfast. We also went through a Flinch phase and played game after game. He doesn’t ever let any of us win on purpose. We knew that if we happened to win a game then we were “GOOD”.. I remember Dad taking us on many, many camping trips and to Disneyland and to a hotel in Idaho. Dad used to say “Goodnight, sleeptight, don’t let the bedbugs bite.” Also, “I’ll tell you a story of George McGory and now my story’s begun. I’ll tell you another about his brother and now my story’s done.” He also told stories of Giant Scroogum and Billy. Dad is a good sport and has dressed up various times. I especially remember when he dressed up as a New Year’s baby on New Year’s Eve and worked at the Wheel-In Market. Dad loves to watch TV and he watched many shows with us when we were kids. For some reason I especially remember watching Perry Mason with him. I remember the many times that Dad pulled out the slides and we watched slides, ate popcorn, and laughed.

12. Dad is smart. I remember that Dad could always tell what each of his Christmas presents were just by feeling the wrapping paper. One time I cracked some nuts and wrapped up the nuts and the nut shells separately and he didn’t know what his presents were. I thought that I was very clever. I remember that hiding Dad’s Easter basket was always a challenge because he was so good at finding it. Once, Mark and I took some peaches Mom had canned off of the food storage shelf and hid his basket behind the bottles. He couldn’t find it. Dad seemed to be able to read the newspaper and watch TV at the same time and be able to always figure out the murder mysteries on TV before I could.

13. Dad is accident-prone. I remember Dad injuring himself in many ways: motorcycle accidents, electrocution, falling off of the roof, playing basketball, etc. I was the most scared when he got hit by our vehicle and a big truck which had hit our vehicle. When Dad dies, it will be the right time because Heavenly Father has worked so hard to keep him alive.

14. Dad is strong. I remember Dad coming to Matthew’s funeral and being a strength to me.

15. Dad is hard-working. I remember Dad working late many times so that we could have enough to eat, and clothes to wear and a house to live in.

16. Dad loves surprises.. I remember Dad always shopping for Mom on Christmas Eve and letting me wrap some of her presents. But I never knew about her “big” present. He was very creative and loved to surprise Mom. He always told us that if your present wasn’t a surprise then he’ll take it back.

17. Dad thinks like a lawyer. I remember Dad teaching me to question some of the things I was taught in seminary. He made me look up things and verify who taught them and when. I still do that today. I remember that if there was a big fight among us children he would get out the tape recorder and question us and tape our answers. Then he would play them back to us and make a judgment.

18. Dad is a fun grandpa. Dad pretends that my kids are his pillow when he visits. They always look forward to that. They also look forward to playing video games with Dad.

19. Dad used us kids for his own pleasure. I remember Dad having contests to see who could scratch his back the best.

20 Dad can’t cook. I remember that Dad could basically cook two things when I was growing up - hot dogs and fried eggs.

21. Dad is spontaneous. One of the things that I love about Dad is that he is spontaneous. Sometimes he would come home from work and announce that we were going on a trip or doing something fun that we didn’t expect.

22. Dad likes to sing only when we are driving. I used to love it when he sang “I’ve Been Working on the Railroad” and “It Ain’t Gonna Rain No More.” And “Yes, We Have No Bananas, We Have No Bananas Today.”

23. Dad was generally the discipliner. I remember Dad pulling into the driveway and always thinking, “Am I doing anything that I could get in trouble for?” He used to spank us with his belt if we wet the bed or did something else wrong. . He didn’t hit us very hard but I made sure I cried loudly so that I wouldn’t get hit harder.

24. Dad is a perfect bus driver. He loves to talk to people, he loves to drive, and he hasn’t slept well for years anyway so he’s used to not getting a lot of sleep.

25. Dad is the greatest dad that anyone could ever have. I am very lucky to have his love and influence in my life. I love him with all my heart.

Love, Marilee

[abitoflit]

A-Z List of Books to Avoid

Listed below are a collection of my least favorite novels meant to be a humorous collection of books to stay away from. Enjoy!

A- All Over Creation. In addition to a host of bland characters, this novel introduced problem after problem, conflict after conflict, only to have them all solved and wrapped up with a neat little bow at the end. It was as though someone waved a magic wand and whisked everyone's troubles away, making it rather unrealistic.

B- Breaking Dawn by Stephenie Meyer. More paranormal romance, more vegetarian vampires, more stupidity... no thanks.

C- Chosen by P.C. and Kristin Cast. To be honest, I didn't mind the beginning of the series; but, then it began to repeat itself and become a clusterfuck of tangled lovers with stupid personalities and traits. Honestly, if I hear Stevie Rae described as the country bumpkin with the "Oakie-Twang" one more time I may be forced to bite someone.

D- Dewey: The Small-Town Library Cat Who Touched the World by Vicki Myron. I want to start this review off by saying that I am a cat person and one day, if I get lonely enough, I may wind up being the crazy cat lady of my block. But, I really don't know how I got through this book. It was all about a cat and the pictures were cute but it was so dry and boring I wanted to die. And in a way, I felt as though I was reacting to the book as would a cat. The pictures made me want to pay attention to it, because who doesn't love pictures? And then the words made me feel as though I'd had enough, at which point I'd put the book down and walk away.

E- Eclipse by Stephenie Meyer. Yes, these books are so bad they warrant being on my list three times. (You will notice them again under the letter T). Like seriously woman, I question what goes on in your head.

F- Fifty Shades of Grey (and subsequent nonsense). These novels are simply trash; I don't know what else to say. The prose is weak, the subject is weird and the relationship between the two main characters is disturbing.

G- Go Ask Alice, written anonymously. This book is just plain depressing for starters. As far as its prose is concerned, it's not the strongest either. I know it's supposed to be the diary of a teenager and what not, but I felt as though it left a lot to be desired.

H- Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad. I discussed this novel with a friend of mine a few months ago. We were both pretty confused by it. We're certain that one of the characters died and then came back to life. We're certain he's secretly a zombie or something, but this novel isn't a zombie novel. (Did they even have zombies back when it was written)? I don't know, but either way, we were both just as confused as you are.

I- The Iliad by Homer. I'm not a big fan of books, which are set up in the "traditional epic fashion," so that certainly didn't help this number. I also really didn't like the storyline--it's all about getting home; but, going all over the damn place before getting there. I mean really, doesn't anyone have a map? The chapters involving Penelope were also rather slow and predictable, which was no fun. Also, how dumb are these suitors? Can't they tell that she's taking her work apart? I mean really.

J- Julie of the Wolves by Jean Craighead George. I vaguely remember reading this book in elementary school and wondering what the point was. I felt like nothing happened and didn't like the prose.

K- Instead of stating a title, can I just comment on how many books have a title that begins with "kiss" and how ridiculous it is? Because it's fucking ridiculous and confusing.

L- Lord of the Flies by William Golding. NOT MY PIGGY YOU BITCH!

M- Moby Dick by Herman Melville. I know it's supposed to be a classic and everything, but I really didn't feel as though I needed to read a treatise on whaling smattered with some of Captain Ahab's crazy.

N- Number the Stars by Lois Lowry. I read this book in elementary school and remember disliking it. Part of that dislike stemmed from the depressing subject matter and the rest from the fact that there seemed to be a certain disconnect between the author and the subject matter being discussed in the novel.

O-  Othello by William Shakespeare. A few words: dost I care?

P- Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen. Three words: dry as fuck.

Q- Questioning; always questioning why these books were ever written.

R- Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier. I read this book in high school as part of a fairy tale literature class and could not have been more appalled. This novel is based loosely upon the "Bluebeard" tales, which describes a man who marries several different women only to kill them. Disney certainly didn't prepare me for this!

S- The Secret by Rhonda Byrne. I have a secret! This book sucks. It's just a repetitive bunch of crap about the "law of attraction," filled with pointless stories and wannabe science. I would definitely give this one a miss.

T- Twilight (and series) by Stephanie Meyer. Two things. First, the relationship between Edward and Bella is unhealthy and setting a bad example for young readers. First, Bella's dependence on Edward and need for his presence is frightening. It makes it seem as though women need men in order to function and quite frankly, they don't. Second, and this is not something I usually have much of an issue with, the age difference is staggering. It's like my great great grandfather, (if he were still living), trying to date my best friend. What the heck? And just for the record, I firmly believe vampires are supposed to burst into flame and turn to a big pile of smelly ashes in the sunlight, none of this sparkling shit! Finally, vegetarians? VEGETARIANS? You suck animal blood people, you're not vegetarians thank you very much.

U- The Ugly Duckling. So, the duck didn't notice it had an extra baby? As in, it forgot how many eggs it laid and that duck babies don't look like swan babies? Doesn't it live with other birds around the pond or is everyone relegated to their own section of the land too?

V- Vampire Academy by Richelle Mead. Haven't we had enough of bloodsucking assholes already?

W- Why? Oh why did I ever bother sitting through the vast majority of these?

X- marks the spot? I can't say that I can think of anything for this letter.

Y- Yes Please by Amy Poehler. I was really excited to read this novel and then completely disappointed by it. I always found Poehler funny, especially when she teamed up with Tina Fey; but, this memoir was simply a dry collection of memories, recounted like a laundry list. Her tone also betrays a hint of arrogance, which I found rather unappealing. Overall, not my cup of tea. 

Z- zzzzzzzz. Wha-What? These books put me to sleep. *wipes drool from the side of my lip and waves hand* you saw nothing and these are definitely not the books you're looking for!

[gwimulchorom]

Myron thinks about Josie the night after she goes to bed.

She remembers the way Bryn cared for her, and the gentleness in which the dwarf would brush her hair, bring her her overalls and then immediately switch to work mode with the marching orders to get started on busy work days.

She also remembers the way Bryn had found her, catatonic from grief and pain, and how she cradled her muttering words of quiet apology and a promise to never leave her behind ever again.

Myron remembers her own mother, trapped in the Thaymount. She also remembers Bryn, who acted like a mother when she needed someone to be in her corner most. Perhaps in the cycle of life and death, this is why she understood Josie so intimately - she too is a mother to fifty children big and small, children she had had to dig and fight her way into protecting.

It doesn't take long for her to quietly slip away from the other agents in Newfaire and jump, once again, through spaces. Every experience she lives through in the spaces she remembers, a secret she holds tight to herself, but she knows when her surroundings warp once more to the familiar, modern bedroom, that some experiences would stay with her more than she liked.

Her last foray in New Orleans had been traumatic - but something she accepted with silent grace, all things considered. Most people would falter under the torture of dying and reviving over and over, and unfortunately Myron fell outside that category (she had endured so much worse at the hands of the Red Wizards' gruelling training regime, then the Spellguards).

She remembers again, a question posed to Jangil when he had finally escaped with her intact - would Myron go insane from the torture, or would she have a glimpse of recovery?

Every mother experienced the pain of childbirth, physically or psychologically. It was a choice they accepted when they brought a child into their lives. She would gladly give herself up for Jangil and Dankyung, over and over, and it would only be the tip of her tolerance compared to every sacrifice she had made stepping into motherhood.

She understood Josie, even as she understood that her time in Newfaire was coming to a close. She would return elsewhere, searching, wanting, serving her hoard the best way she could.

Myron consolidates her experiences again, and she closes the chapter of the next leg of her journey.

[gwimulchorom]

Myron Timeline

1461 DR, Era of Upheaval - Myron and Muirin Mathuana, identical twin sisters, are born to Helene and Oscillock Mathuana in the Thaymount.

1471 DR, Era of Upheaval - Both Myron and Muirin are taken by the Red Wizards of Thay to begin training. After aptitude tests, Myron is assigned to the school of Illusion and Muirin into the school of Abjuration.

1476 DR, Era of Upheaval - Myron and Muirin receive their first arcane tattoos to signify their graduation into official Red Wizards.

1481 DR, Era of Upheaval - After too much malicious compilance, the twins are each assigned a Thayan Knight and sent to Phlan for their first subterfuge mission to keep an eye on the Cult of the Dragon. They separate after losing their cover identities in the party they were expected to travel to Avernus with, promising to meet in Waterdeep.

1482 DR, Era of Upheaval - Myron experiences a soul-sundering incident at the Mythal of Silverymoon, killing three others around her when her illusory disguise backfires on herself and melds her into the body of a teenaged half-elf. She is processed into Spellguard Isle where she is personally tortured and interrogated in an antimagic field by Taern Hornblade himself, leaving her with a crippling fear of the Spellguards’ leader.

1482 DR, Era of Upheaval - Myron is processed into Miresk’s School of Thaumatargy as a student on parole. She begins studying artifice under the tutelage of Bryn Bouldergrace, the secretive owner of The Wyrmworks, specialising in dragoncraft.

1485 DR, Era of Upheaval - Myron graduates from Miresk’s School of Thaumatargy and becomes a professor in magical artifice, succeeding her alchemist predecessor Mag Tinkerfingers. She begins making a name for herself defending Silverymoon after orcs attempt to besiege the city and is referred to “Professor Ursus”.

1489 DR, Era of Upheaval - Myron and many professors falls to Alaskarbarbatos the ancient blue dracolich after it awakens under Silverymoon’s waters and destroys parts of Miresk in his carefully calculated rampage, earning her title of “Dracolich Slayer” when she takes him down with her. After receiving a faulty resurrection that leave her disabled, she leaves to Greenest to start solving the draconic problems her way or the high way.

1489 DR, Present Age - After turning in her findings with another group of adventurers, Myron prepares for war. Repurposing the corpses of dragons into living runic wards earn her the title of The Witch of the North. She moves to Waterdeep with her adoptive brother, Haruuc “The Punisher” Roaringhorn, settling in her tower named The Eye of the Storm.

1490 DR, Present Age - The Order of the Gemscaled Knights is formed in both Haruuc and Myron’s name. She accepts the title of “The Topazscaled Mage”, a title designed to be passed down, before True Polymorphing herself into an adult topaz dragon to ensure she will never be disabled in an antimagic field again.

1490 DR, Present Age - Haruuc accepts his title as Masked Lord of Waterdeep. Myron is appointed his advisor, much to her distress.

1492 DR, Present Age (present) - Myron erases most aspects of her true name and existence and lives in relative obscurity in Waterdeep, having retired largely to become a philanthropist assisting children and mercenary artificer dealing with evil dragons and their parts. Alongside her previous titles, she also jokingly and gladly accepts “The Senseless”, a title derogatorily given to her by Lady Laeral Silverhand, the current Open Lord of Waterdeep.

[gwimulchorom]

Transgenderisms with this professor who can freely turn herself into her pride flags at will because of her mastery over illusion

[gwimulchorom]

Once upon an age, an unnamed mage struggled to introduce herself as her truest form, instead cycling between various masks in the hopes that people would not see through it all, to find that she was entirely hollow, traumatised beyond measure by how Silverymoon had treated her. 

For someone who had lived most of her life in the company of others, surrounded by people, the sudden isolation had been a nonstop fender bender. Stripped of everything that she had once thought “hers”, she eventually withdrew into herself, convinced the world had despised her for existing and wanting desperately to finish one last job before quietly walking into the fog, never to return. It was best, she’d once thought, to be forgotten - it had been how she had been forced to live, after all.

Even a reunion with her beloved twin sister did not allay her fears: rather, her sister’s success compared to her maimed state only seemed to deepen the rift between them, an ugly inferiority complex thought buried once again rearing their head. Her behavior changed to another defense mechanism, worried for her judgment, and she sought to be as small and unobtrusive as possible, so desperate she was to not become a burden and cause others pain that she would rather bury herself than continue being alive.

When had this changed? It was a story that changed constantly depending on which of her many children you asked. The process hadn’t mattered, argued the mage when she herself was finally asked, more so what had happened afterwards. All that mattered was that someone who had too been largely forgotten, his voice buried and overshadowed by others, had reached out to our protagonist after she had given him an apology cloak, a misunderstanding between them she had felt deeply guilty about.

For the first time, she hadn’t been asked anything or had expectations shackled upon her form (the nooses of academia, of her past, they followed her like specters) and at this, she had been worried for the longest time. How could she bring someone who had been nothing short of kind to her into her life, a mess of constant assassinations, conspiracies and a set of murky morals that was entirely self-serving? Even then, she yearned terribly, as someone who thrived so much on social contact did.

Nowadays, in an era of peace, the South Gate of Waterdeep has an orphanage next to a sprawling, well-maintained temple dedicated to the Lord of the Rack. Next to said opulent keep however is a strangely-ominous tower, its doors guarded by two giant dwarven statues seated on thrones: one of Mith Barak, the good king of the Underdark, and the other of a grinning woman resting her arm over the helmet of what could only be arcane armor.

The King of the Merchants’ name was well-known, for anything you needed moved through his network could easily be arranged for the right amount of gold, and with how friendly and pious he often was when meeting his clients personally, it was difficult even to remember that this had once been the slow-witted youngest son of the Roaringhorns, one who could too be written off as another wastrel and buried evermore.

His roguish sister however was far more difficult to get an audience for. The mysterious Witch of the North only worked on projects she found “interesting”, a bar that seemed nigh-impossible to surmount. Knowing how precise she had turned her craft however, such secrecy seemed almost understandable - and exorbitantly expensive. Of course, most adventurers would argue that it was a small price to pay for equipment she enchanted: being able to spin an entirely different but equally powerful yarn from abstract ideas was her game.

Where of the nameless mage though? She now had many titles, titles bestowed upon her and titles she’d rightfully gained, but she didn’t need a laundry list of titles to feel important when she had finally found a place to truly call home, a position she enjoyed working in and a family that allowed her to heal. Even then, her joint pain followed her every move, the cane filled with secrets she carries never leaving her side at this point.

If asked, her introduction was straightforward:

“Me? You should have already heard of me if you’re in Waterdeep. Though there’s one thing you ought to know at least: Jergal’s quills, I hate the Sword Coast and its problems so much.

Professor Myron Mathuna at your service. Lady of Last Wall, The Topazscaled Gemscaled Mage, Master of Eye of the Storm, Proprietor of The Twins, and The Senseless. My hobbies are crafting, taking in children and teaching - they are our future, and we must invest in them because none of us live forever.

If you’re here, you must have something for me. Out with it, and it’d better be interesting...or else.”