#who knew that making a powerpoint would be this sad

[embers-of-the-league]

Crying real fucking tears because of this He was reaching out because he needed help He was 5-years-old, scared out his mind and he needed help And instead, he gets hurt once again. His mother ran towards him to try and comfort him, even though it cost her her life His father treated him like a villain

[orikiys]

✿ ✿ 〞older brother skz finding you with a guy

✰ pairings : older brother ot8!skz x sibling! fem reader

✰ warnings : mentions of sex ed ( pretty short although), indirect mentions of violence, implied angst as well, cursing, reader's bf is an asshole, mentions of break up, mentions of cheating as well

✰ synopsis : your older brother finds you with a guy and well there could be various outcomes

✰ word count : 1.4k+ words

౨₊ৎ chan

i feel like chan would be the chill bro

like he loves you, he does but he doesn't want to seem as those cliché annoying brothers so he'll act normal

BUT if the guy ever makes you cry, chan's on his way to the guy's house along with his members

chan would absolutely hate it when you cry because of a guy

he'll not give you space thinking you need a shoulder to cry on and would lay beside you and distract you by playing video games or simply talking to each other

he would find himself getting a bit sad when you're on the phone texting someone but would try to brush it off

everytime a guy even looks at you in a weird way he would glare at them

he even created a whole powerpoint with points and body language of guys. basically mentioning each and every single detail to keep you away from those toxic guys

being the eldest kid, he felt like he has responsibility to look after the younger ones

and he does that everytime. without failure.

౨₊ৎ minho

the moment he sees you with a guy outside the convenient store he would literally have to double take a look

his sister, HIS younger sister with a GUY ???

oh he is so going to tease the hell out of you

he would click a good amount of pictures and smirk like a devil

later on he would confront you about it and blackmail you saying he'll tell it to mom

would make you do every single work assigned to him

and the moment you hesitate he is almost about to fake call mom

would make kissing noises and hand gestures each time you're about to go on a date or facetiming the guy

but when he sees that you unhappy, he's going to have a little chat with the guy

let's say that it did not end well at all

would realize his mistake and mumble sorry everytime he sees you

would do anything to make you forgive him

though his ways were a bit more violent, he knew that the guy anyway didn't deserve you

and that minho is always right with his instincts

౨₊ৎ changbin

the type of brother to literally interrogate the guy

would ask the guy if he works out and if he says no, changbin would throw you a disappointed look telling you could do better

would scold you both and explain about sex education, embarassing the hell out of you

he loves it sm although !

but at the same time he can't help but think of how fast you grew up

would also help you with your outfits

he has the guy warned to drop you home safely and before 9 !!

if the guy ever hurts you, don't worry. changbin has your back

he's also the brother who would feel a bit awkward on how to approach you so he would just quietly sit by your side, watching your favorite movies with you

i swear the moment he sees you laugh it's like he can breathe normally now

he promised himself to never let you cry over a guy again !! must protect

౨₊ৎ hyunjin

the type of brother who would judge the guy and his choice of fashion

would fake gag loudly whenever he sees you blushing and would roll his eyes the moment he sees the guy's face

"please don’t tell me that frog is my future brother in-law"

would constantly spy on you both to figure out what you were both upto

the moment you two break up he would hit you with that "i told you" but when he realizes you don't even react, he would literally let you cry in his arms

would send you a sad playlist to help you let it all out

would sneakily take your phone, get the guy's number and would block him on all socials before sending an annonymous text to the guy

would make goofy faces while dancing just to make you laugh

would let you do his skincare for a month if it means he gets to see you move on from that asshole

౨₊ৎ han

the brother who's jealous that he's still single

would glare whenever you both show pda in front of him

so damn annoyed (x 100)

but at the same time he'll keep an eye on the two of you, especially the guy

the moment you two break up he's gonna be so relieved but ! the realization would hit him and he would walk up to your room and talk to you for hours, helping you get it all out

out of rage he would even write a few diss tracks for the guy and make you listen to it

the moment you start vibing or screaming out the lyrics he would feel like he won in life

the other members know about and would let him pull a taylor swift knowing very well that the guy deserves it

han would probably even post the song online and would anonymously troll the guy

what's a revenge without some fun?

౨₊ৎ felix

brother? no! he's your 4lifer

knows every single gossip of your college and your friends

so it's no surprise that he was the first person that go to know you were dating someone

will most likely start thirdwheeling on your dates

he would even invite the guy over to watch a match

and the moment you break out the news that you both broke up he's literally gonna be even sadder than you

would sigh out loud on purpose and hug you tightly mumbling that he was good company

but the moment you tell him it was the guy's fault, felix would switch up real quick

would throw insults and say speeches on how the guy was a dumbhead and all

jokes apart, he would actually feel guilty for mentioning the guy in front of you and would apologize to you and swears that he'll be careful from now

who needs guys when you have brothers like him?

౨₊ৎ seungmin

he IS the bully

would laugh mockingly at you both and make memes saying how he finds couples cringey

would literally yell out embarrassing things about you to the guy

would even show your baby pictures and snicker

there is no way in hell that he could get a better opportunity of revenge !!

but honestly he's gonna share the gossip that you're dating with the other members just so they can't keep flirting with you

he has grown kinda annoyed

he still can't digest the fact that people find his sister pretty

although, he thinks you are but he loves irritating the hell out of you

being seungmin's sister, he shouldn't expect any less from you

you would fake cry making him panic because if mom finds out it's over !!

and when you cry for a guy, that guy is over

seungmin is very protective when you get sad because of someone else

he would frown and his arms would find your sides, bringing you in his embrace since he knows how much you love his hugs

you're like his little star and he would absolutely feel his heart shatter seeing you sad

౨₊ৎ jeongin

the type of brother who would hate it when you started dating his best friend

would roll his eyes when you take his best friend/ your boyfriend away from him

it was irritating the heck out of him

how dare YOU date HIS friend?

but later on he kind of got used to it

and when the two of you break up it's like time stops for jeongin

not only did you lose your boyfriend, but jeongin lost his best friend in a way too

hurting jeongin's sister was a bad bad move

and poor jeongin felt helpless seeing you looks so miserable for a cheater like that guy

he would take you out to arcades or take you boxing because it's his way of taking his anger out and maybe it might help you as well?

little tmi, it actually did

you could feel yourself healing and getting over that guy and jeongin could feel his sister's crazy antics returnings

so suddenly he felt like he regretted it when you barge in his room wiggle your eyebrows for no reason

he's no less either. he would run behind you like a monkey and tackle you to the ground before tickling you hard

it's weird, how in many ways the annoying part of jeongin shows just how caring he is

hey anon hope you liked this >< i changed the ending to angst although because i love angst (guilty) 🙏🙏

[youreallyshouldtalkmore]

Why is the Question

A.N: Illusions to Malleus Dorm Uniform card, so if you haven't read that vignette, this story may not make sense. I loved that vignette; this is my TWST OC Mia with Malleus after the fact.

Twisted Wonderland Masterlist  

—————————————————-

There was no other word for it. 

Malleus was pouting as far as Mia was concerned. He barely said two words since the Gargoyle Research Society meeting started. Which didn’t bother her any, as sometimes they would sit in companionable silence and observe the gargoyles together. At Ramshackle dorm, tea would often accompany them.

There was no tea today. 

But the key word was companionable silence. 

This wasn’t companionable, as Malleus’ brain was obviously not on the beauty of the Ramshackle gargoyles this evening. 

It wasn’t hard to figure out why Malleus’ attention was elsewhere. 

By now, all of Night Raven College knew about the stunt that the Diasomnia Housewarden had pulled during the previous Housewarden meeting. How could they not when most of the Dorm Leaders had returned to their dorms in a rage? 

Mia simply continued to sketch in her sketchbook. She had already asked if he was alright, and he reassured her before returning inward. She thought, perhaps, he found it a private matter to deal with. 

That’s fine, he knew where to find her. 

Eventually, Malleus heaved a sigh and murmured, “No matter how many times I try to go over it in my mind, I simply cannot understand what went wrong.” 

Mia decided to take this cue since he voiced it outloud and spoke lightly, “Oh, anything I can help with?” 

Malleus blinked and started. Slowly he turned and looked at her as if seeing her for the first time. 

Mia continued her sketching. 

“Ah, Child of Man!! Yes, you are a child of man. Perhaps you would assist me in a matter?” 

Mia only chuckled, “You don’t have to be so formal, what’s up?” 

Malleus started, “Well, you see, it’s like this….” 

Ten minutes later, after Malleus explained the event in great detail, including everyone’s reaction, he was stunned to see a twitch of Mia’s lips. Much like Lilia, she could no longer hold it back and burst out laughing, slamming her sketchbook close. 

Malleus felt a flash of annoyance at this. 

Exactly what was so funny about this?! Was he being made a fool of? 

Mia waved her hand, “I’m sorry! I promise, I’m not laughing at you but hearing a 1st hand account of the event, I mean…” 

“Yes, yes. Very amusing, child of man.” 

Mia managed to contain her mirth, although her eyes still danced. Perhaps it was wise to settle down a little. She could tell that Malleus was beginning to lose his patience the longer he looked at her. She did not want an angry fae on her hands. 

“Malleus, I….” pause. 

“....” 

“.....” 

Sigh. “There is so much to unpack, I can’t do it in the next five minutes.” 

“I have the time.” 

“Yeah, not right now. Listen, let me think about this a little more. This is gonna require a Powerpoint presentation with graphs and everything.” 

Malleus blinked, “Does it really warrant that?” Just how big was this matter that he couldn’t seem to get a grasp of? 

Mia giggled, “Oh, yeah…..”

“Then can you, at least, explain why do you keep laughing? What exactly is so humorous?” 

Mia took pity on Malleus who looked so earnest, “Personally, I find it quite charming.” 

Malleus’ eyebrow shot up, “Charming?” 

“It’s charming and sad at the same time. I have to say, you get an A+ for effort. Using what knowledge you had, you came up with some kind of solution. Didn’t work, but you took some initiative. That should be applauded.” 

Malleus pouted, “Would that others saw it that way….” 

“Ah, well, I do have an edge over them.” Mia shrugged. 

Malleus looked at Mia and raised an eyebrow when she didn’t elaborate any further. 

Mia glanced away once, “Well, I’d like to think I know you a shade bit better than the others. I know that it came from a good place in your heart, and you didn’t mean to hurt, insult or scare them.  Just you and the other’s wires got crossed. However, if I didn’t know you as much as I do, I would probably be insulted as well. ” 

Malleus heaved a sigh, “You as well? This is troubling indeed. This has made me even more aware of the differences between fae and human, but I do want to make some kind of effort. I’m just not sure where to go from here.” 

“Well, for starters, you need to go to the next meeting.” 

Malleus folded his arms, “I cannot if I’m not invited.” 

Mia growled, “You got an invitation the moment you became dorm leader. Even if they are angry, no one will find you rude if you show up. You have just as much right as a dorm leader to be there as them. They don’t like it, their problem. That’s #1. And #2 when you get there the first thing you should do is apologize.” 

Malleus whipped his head towards Mia, with wide eyes. 

Before he could protest, Mia spoke up, “It’s really to just smooth things over. I know you feel you don’t have anything to apologize for, and you don’t understand, but that doesn’t matter. They felt insulted, therefore you are apologizing for insulting them even amidst your good intentions. And Malleus, don’t be condescending about it. That will only make them angrier.” 

Malleus heaved another sigh, “It seems human etiquette is so intricate. I fear I am bound to mess this up, no matter what I say or attempt to do.” 

“Don’t worry about it! We can practice if you like.” 

Malleus smiled at her, “I’d be much obliged.” 

“.....After I try to make sense of this faux paux you have committed….” 

Although Mia was shaking her head at him, Malleus could still see the mirth in her eyes. Perhaps if this child of man didn't think he was that much of a lost cause, perhaps he could see this through. 

“I will look forward to your teaching then.” 

Two days later, Mia had invited Malleus into Ramshackle Dorm. Malleus was surprised to see a huge paper sitting on an easel. True, to her word, Mia tried her hardest to explain why everyone was angry.  Although Malleus didn’t quite get it, he learned that understanding that he offended was much more valuable than the why. 

In fact, Mia quickly shut down his constant question of why. 

“Just as fae has things that are a fact for them, so too, do humans. You don’t have to understand why, you just need to learn and memorize a loose script and accept it as fact. The way you understand is to learn and accept the boundaries. And if you don’t know, ask someone. Between Lilia, Sebek and Silver surely you can get some kind of answer. If not, come ask me. And if I don’t know, ask one of the teachers or Headmage. I’m sure between all of that, we can find some kind of actionable answer.” 

It seemed he had a long way to go, but perhaps if he could start by learning from this child of man, who seemed willing to take time out of her day to teach him. 

Ah, he would have to properly show her his gratitude for this evening. 

[cookinguptales]

Something I always think about a lot during disability/chronic illness/rare illness pride months is like... It is wild how often people will come up to me and want me to listen to some guilty secret they have re: disability and expect me to tell them it's okay.

Like... once I was waiting for my dad to bring the car up at the airport, and this guy approaches me and starts telling me why he'd never want to date a disabled woman. (I'm gay and completely uninterested in men, which made this whole interaction even more awkward.) And after talking about all the reasons why people like me would not make a good partner he turns those sad eyes on me like, "But that doesn't make me a bad person, does it? I'm not doing anything wrong. Like, you get it, don't you?"

You get it, don't you?

I hear that one a lot.

Like when the grad student teaching one of my classes at my university was chatting to me after class and told me that once she and her friends went to Disney World and pretended to be disabled to get onto the rides faster. I recognized the nervous laughter, the entreating look. The you get it, don't you?

I understand what these people are asking me for. They want absolution. They want this disabled person, maybe the first real disabled person they've ever talked to, to listen to their guilty secret and tell them they're okay. They're not a bad person. I don't mind. I don't judge them. I get it.

But frankly... I don't get it. These people often tell me that they've done things that make disabled people's lives actively worse. Disney has changed their policies re: disability because so many able-bodied people were abusing them. Companies and organizations walk back accommodation policies all the time because they're being abused. That grad student who pretended to be disabled actively made disabled people's lives harder.

And I don't really give a shit if one asshole dude doesn't want to date disabled women (probably better for those women, tbh) but I know how bad it feels to be ghosted on a dating app when you talk about accessibility, even when your profile is explicit about your disability. I know that I felt like I was not worth loving in spite of my disability for years because I knew that people like that guy would only see all the ways I'd slow them down.

Guys like that actively make us hate ourselves.

But like... it's wild how these people don't see how the only thing crueler than harboring these feelings and doing these things is making some random disabled person listen to their stories. My day was going great before some guy practically gave me a powerpoint about why I should never expect to have a relationship. I really enjoyed that class before I found out that my teacher had participated in the exact kind of ableist theft of accommodations that was currently making it difficult for me to get accommodations at that school.

They took this weight they were holding on their shoulders and then forced it onto mine -- and then expected me to comfort them. To tell them it was okay. To throw my fellow disabled folks under the bus.

And -- both of these times in particular, I was in situations where I was not really free to speak my mind. Alone with a big guy in a parking garage? Alone with the woman who would ultimately decide my grade for the class? The power differential there was huge. And whether they were consciously doing it or not, they were leveraging that power differential to try and force me to give them absolution.

I made noncommittal noises. Really, what else was I supposed to do? And even then, I could see the spark of disappointment and anger in their eyes. I was supposed to tell them it was okay that they'd hurt me and people like me. I was supposed to tell them they were still good.

But I didn't want to offer them absolution, and I was angry that they'd asked for it in the first place. I can't offer you forgiveness for something you know is wrong -- and that you've done nothing to fix. Moreover, I won't. You should feel bad that you hurt us. You should feel guilty. It's a shitty thing to do.

If you want to feel better about yourself, stop doing shitty things!

And I knew these people were still doing shitty things because dumping all this on me when I was just minding my own business was in and of itself a shitty thing. Trying to transfer their burden to me. Reminding me about the discrimination I have to face every day just so they could feel better. Expecting me to do emotional labor on command for strangers because it doesn't matter if I hurt so long as they feel good.

That's shitty! Don't do it! I already have to use physical crutches, don't try to turn me into an emotional one!

[sighonaraa]

Thinking about 'the ending where you finally find your way home'. Thinking about Jamie living with Sam and Dani. Thinking about Big Ben and Jude. Thinking about how 23 year old Jamie being smuggled home by Sam and Dani, handed a cat, and them telling him that the cat is his, actually.

Thinking about this bristly kid with the world on his shoulders and his hands stuffed in his pockets to hide the shaking, and a cat twining around his ankles purring up a storm. And a dog with a big square head and a wagging tale who's happy to see him.

Thinking about the way he shrivels under the hopeful attention of Sam and Dani. The way he cautiously holds his hand out to let Jude sniff it.

Thinking about this painfully younger Jamie muttering, "Wasn't allowed to have any pets growing up."

Thinking about the way Dani and Sam's faces fall, because they already know that. And they know why.

They were so excited to offer him everything he loves, everything that's his to love, that they'd forgotten how once upon a time he wasn't allowed to love at all.

(and then Dani has to make up a lie about how no, actually, the dog is technically his (incorrect; everyone is everyone's, but baby steps) but no Jude always sleeps with Jamie and so does the cat. Yep.)

yes. yes! YES!!!!! YEESSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i think about this all thee time as WELL.

Jamie lingered on the last porch step while Sam unlocked the front door, hands twisted into the hem of his shirt, grateful that Dani was ahead of him in case he needed to run. He could be fast, he knew he could. Neither of them’d be able to catch up. He’d run, and run, and run until his skeleton fled its body and there was nothing left to go back to.

But the door swung open, and something—something within him, some bone-deep instinct, stopped him from bolting. Maybe it was the way the flowers in the window boxes were blooming, full-petaled and bright. Maybe it was the way there was already light spilling out onto the pavement from inside the house, like it had been waiting for them. Maybe it was the way Sam and Dani were looking at him, all soft and stupid, as if they couldn’t imagine spending their night doing anything except this.

And then Jamie didn’t have a chance to decide what it was, ’cause there was a sudden flurry of movement and a massive dog was leaping into Dani’s arms and licking him all over the face. His heart skipped a quick beat before settling, certain for a moment that the shadow he’d glimpsed had been someone else’s, and his fingers loosened around his shirt.

“Jude!” Dani was scolding, even as he laughed and puddled into the porch with a lapful of slobbering dog. “You’re not supposed to run out like that, mi amigo. Very dangerous.”

“We’ve tried to explain it to him via a Powerpoint presentation,” said Sam to—to Jamie, which was strange. “It didn’t take, for some reason.”

Jamie scoffed. “Yeah, no shit, mate.” He flinched immediately, remembering again that this wasn’t his Sam, that this was another Sam who was older and taller and could most certainly take him to the ground if he wanted to. He imagined the impact of flesh on flesh; the crimson flash of pain; his body scattered on the floor and the door to the house shut and the light vanishing as fast as it had arrived.

But Sam only lifted one shoulder in a shrug and said, “It was your idea.”

“It was!” Dani said cheerfully, though he looked a bit sad at the edges. His fingers ran along the dog’s—Jude’s—ears in nervous, frenetic motion. “We could show it to you, if you want.”

“I—” Jamie swallowed. I need to call me da. It was what he wanted to say, yet couldn’t. He already knew how they would respond. And until he figured out what the fuck was going on and how he could get everything to go back to normal, he’d just have to keep his mouth shut and his head down. He wouldn’t do anything that would make them upset. He’d gotten lucky thus far, but it wouldn’t last. The anger always came, eventually. “Sure. Yeah, I s’pose we could.”

“Excellent,” said Dani. He seemed to mean it, though Jamie couldn’t trust that he really was. “Until then, this is Jude. Jude, this is Jamie. You remember Jamie?”

’Course Jude wouldn’t fucking remember Jamie. He tensed as the dog’s head swiveled towards him, those big brown eyes wide and limpid in the late light. His body prepared itself for the low growl, the biting snap.

Except Jude’s tail began to wag, fiercer than before, and he crawled from Dani’s lap and loped in Jamie’s direction. His big boxy head bobbed in time with his strides, and then it bumped into Jamie’s knuckles, hidden still by the fabric of his shirt.

Jamie’s breath caught. His fingers crept out, and Jude’s nose nudged them, damp and cold. “Hi,” he whispered, shamefully aware of Dani and Sam watching them. “Hi, Jude. Nice to meet you. You’re a good boy, eh?”

“He is,” said Sam, quietly. “And he loves you very much, Jamie.”

“Mm,” said Jamie. He dared to scratch behind one of Jude’s floppy ears and was rewarded with an enthusiastic full-body wiggle. “I ain’t ever had a pet before.”

The glance that Sam and Dani exchanged was fleeting, but Jamie caught it all the same. His cheeks went high with heat, hating the fact that they knew so much about him while he knew next to nothing about them. He was exposed, vulnerable. His heart had been pried out of its chest and now lay on the table, ready to be dissected, unable to be put back where it belonged. He rubbed Jude beneath the chin to scrub the sensation away.

“It’s all right,” Dani said, at last. There was a gentle quality to his voice that inclined Jamie to believe him, although he didn’t want to. “You have two, now.”

Hang on.

“I have what—”

[theficcafe]

𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐛𝐥𝐮𝐞 - 06

↳ Genre: Angst, Fluff

↳ Pairing: college!gojo x fem!reader

↳ Warnings: unrequited love

↳ Playlist: (will link here!)

↳ Masterlist: 01 02 03 04 05 06 07 08 09 10

song for this chapter: question..? - taylor swift

"Good girl, sad boy

Big city, wrong choices."

You didn’t have any history of insomnia. 

In fact, you had a healthy relationship with sleep. Unlike Shoko, whose body clock has been completely altered, you valued having 8 hours (or more) of sleep. You once explained the long term effects of having frequent all-nighters to Shoko using a PowerPoint presentation you created in an hour after seeing how exhausted she looked during the daytime, only for her to wave it off and say “everyone dies one day, anyway.”

It’s funny though - how you’re looking at Shoko now, fast asleep next to you, looking peaceful as ever, at 11PM. And yet here you are; eyes wide open, no trace of grogginess. You were wide awake and you knew it’d be awhile before you can join her in the dream land.

You reached for your phone on the night stand, unlocking it to look at the pictures you had taken earlier. The sunset looked beautiful in Tokyo, and you couldn’t help but take a piece of it with you through photography. You took quite a few selfies for remembrance, and spent the rest of the time thinking of someone  admiring its beauty.

A text notification from Yuuta snapped you back to reality. A small smile made its way to your lips upon seeing his name.

yu: when are youuu coming back home? mei mei’s so unforgiving with the shifts that i am covering for you! she said it’s for when you come back. you’d have all your shifts covered, so that means you still get paid. and i don’t get any?! i’m her brother!

You chuckled. Mei Mei has always been playful with Yuuta, teasing him every chance she gets. It’s always a fun dynamic to watch whenever you would be invited for sleep overs at their house. Though Yuuta sees it as a never ending cruelty imposed by his older sister, you, as the spectator, knows that this is Mei Mei’s way of showing his love for him, despite the age gap.

With them, you never once felt alone.

ramen provider: you get half, i promise!

yu: i better get half. also, i took all your ramen packs yesterday. figured they needed to be eaten by someone before they expire..

ramen provider: that’s the plan buddy

yu: why are u awake btw? you usually sleep early when you don’t have anything to do

You paused. 

You knew the answer; it’s already in the back of your mind. A certain name. 

How could a faceless person knock on the walls of your mind and make it their throne without your permission? How mighty could he be, Gojo Satoru, for him to reach every corner of your mind as his own? 

For you, he was the unexpected guest; one who knocked rapidly on your heart, only to be answered with deadly silence. But despite your eyes reflecting a very angry thunderstorm, he took his shoes off and barged right into your heart.

You diverted your attention back to your conversation with Yuuta.

ramen provider: just losing sleep lately, i guess..

—  or going insane.

“We’re going somewhere nice next week!”

You munched on your toast, eyes fixated on your phone. Mornings with Shoko were always eventful; once upon a sleepover when you both were 18, you woke up to Shoko completely awake, hugging a pillow, just.. looking right at you. It freaked you out to say the least, but you didn’t have time to react or even scream because even in that moment, Shoko is certain what she wants to do for the day.

“Do you want to skip school with me?”

You could even barely blink.

What you loved about your best friend is her skill to be able to specify plans. Whenever you were with her, you were always out. It wasn’t bothersome to you because you thought your dynamic is perfectly balanced, with you being introverted and Shoko being the best of both worlds. She isn’t the most sociable, but she’s way more sociable than you could ever be. She is your walking itinerary - your personal travel document. She’s always going somewhere, and she knows how to get there.

When you say you'd probably be found dead in a ditch somewhere without Shoko, you meant that.

“And where could that be?” You asked, slightly distracted, eyes scanning your SNS feed. You stumbled upon an exchange program advertisement and got curious.

Shoko took a sip of her coffee, eyes twinkling in excitement. “A close friend of mine from med school - who is, by the way, filthy rich - invited me to their staycation. I actually turned him down but he insisted, so I told him I have to bring my bestest friend in the whole world or I am not getting on that boat. He was more than happy to agree.”

You felt as though you got slapped. Glancing up from your phone, you barely managed to register her words before you were up yelling. “What?! I didn’t get to say yes!”

“Were you going to say no?”

“Well - Iei, I don’t know them!”

Shoko pouted, standing up to take her now empty “I Hate Mondays” mug to the sink for a wash. “That’s the whole point - you can get to know them! We won’t be alone with him.”

You almost fainted. “That’s even worse! Iei, You know I am the worst with people.”

Shoko turned around, mug still in hand, but is now covered in dishwashing soap. She sent you a disapproving look. “No you aren’t. You just choose not to mingle with people.”

Feeling defeated, you sat down in despair. You let out a groan, to which Shoko responded with a giggle. She turned to you with a reassuring smile. “C’mon, Y/N. I think this is the perfect opportunity for you to branch out and get out of your little shell. Of course, if you really don’t wanna go, I won’t force you. We can stay here in Tokyo and visit a lot of places. I just figured you’d want to get to know the friends I made here, too.”

You suddenly felt guilty. Taking a good look at Shoko (who’s still busy washing her mug), you realized that though she may look the same as before, for some reason, she looked somewhat… far. Living with Shoko means living with familiarity—like a mug of cocoa on Christmas Day when your parents would actually be home, and they’d prepare a simple dinner before exchanging gifts. Shoko felt exactly like that scenario.

She’s so familiar that somehow, along the way of basking into this familiarity and loneliness, you unconsciously blurred out her life. What did you even know about Shoko after you both went to college?

Of course you tell each other everything (with Shoko being more talkative than you are) but now, actually thinking deep about it, you realized how vague her stories have gotten; it’s almost full of “Here’s how my day went”, “I’m so tired!”, “I hate med school!”

You never dug deeper.

That’s why the last line of her reply struck you the most; because she’s Shoko, your best friend since forever, the one who witnessed you go through the horrifying consequences of transitioning to adulthood, the only person who you can call at 4 am when you’re in the middle of an academic breakdown or when you want to make a long commentary about the show you’re currently watching. Your person - and despite this, you never even bothered to ask if she had company. If she has made good friends.

Today, at 6 o’clock in the morning, with the sound of tap water running in the background and Shoko humming softly to a song, you realized how big the world has gotten.

It was no longer just Shoko and you.

“Yellow looks so good on you.”

You scowled, red hue rushing its way to your cheeks. “No, Shoko.”

You’re not sure how you got yourself in this situation - a happy Shoko swiping her cards left and right, hopping on every store she sees to “better prepare for the trip.”

An hour ago, you told Shoko you were going; but on one condition - you’d never go swimming.

It’s not as if you were the worst swimmer out there, it’s more of the fact that you never packed a swim attire. When you told Shoko, her eyes gleamed so bright you could mistake her for Christmas lights (and you know she’s just going to use your dilemma as an excuse to go shopping and splurge).

You never anticipated yacht parties and big pools and rich medical students on vacation, so hey, who could blame you?

You had agreed to go shopping for essentials; sunscreen, water bottles, blankets, towels..

..and yet you’re in a bikini shop.

“Oh please!” Shoko exclaimed, grabbing your shoulders to give you a playful shove, “I have seen you wear bikinis a thousand times, Y/N. And every time you do, you always rock it.”

You stuck your tongue out playfully, “That was years ago, Ie.” You snatched the clothing from her hand and quickly put it back in the rack. “Everything has changed.”

Shoko sent a playful look, “Oh really? I don’t know - you wanna show me?”

You rolled your eyes playfully and sighed. “You know what. I just wanna get this over with, so alright, I’ll take the yellow one.” You pulled your wallet out of your pocket just in time when Shoko suddenly ran towards the cashier at a fast pace.

“No, this one’s on me!”

"Shoko."

She continued to run, fully aware of the daggers you are shooting her way. You sighed, finally admitting defeat. "Fine, but the food's on me!"

Looking back at your pouting form, Shoko sent a playful wink and gave you a thumbs up, "You got it!"

You didn't know if it was all the shopping, or Shoko literally dragging you everywhere (maybe this was mostly it), but you suddenly felt sick. Not sick-sick, more like the idea of hopping onto a yacht for God knows how long with a bunch of people you completely do not know or have any history with finally sinking in, in the middle of a swimwear store.

Holy shit.

A million thoughts ran through your mind - as a socially-selective person, you honestly did not know how to prepare yourself for this trip. No amount of sunscreen and wine can prepare you for conversations, your number one enemy.

Despite the chaos in your mind, you remained seated, embodying the perfect image of a stone for being so still. Shoko seemed to notice, already crouching down to meet your gaze. She had a worried look on her face, an image you're all too familiar with.

"Hey," She spoke, hand coming up to poke your cheek. Your eyes instantly met hers, mustering a tiny smile to reassure her that you're dying inside okay.

You made a mental note to write cue cards and practice conversing with yourself in the bathroom back at Shoko's apartment.

Standing up, you let out a nervous chuckle to mask the fact that you are one second away from backing out of this rich friend-yacht-party rendezvous. "Alright, enough with shopping, please. You know I have a high metabolism, I think I burned half of my soul from all that walking."

Shoko rolled her eyes, a playful smile making its way to her cherry-red lips. "We literally went to three places, Y/N. One of them was the bathroom."

"That still takes up so much energy."

You both walked out of the swimwear shop (and finally, finally tasted true freedom) when Shoko grabbed your free hand, her playful smile turning to a grin so contagious you found yourself smiling too. "Why are you so smiley?"

You asked, and yet you knew. She shrugged, looking ahead. "This trip means a lot to me, and I know you aren't really built for things like these, so thank you for choosing to come and fighting the urge to finish the world war II documentary I know you've been watching. The urge is strong, I know; because you're a nerd."

You just smiled to yourself silently. She really knows you like the back of her hand; at the same time, you were creeped out - because you only really watched the documentary around 4AM when she was fast asleep on your shared bed.

A thousand walks later, you were finally the first one in line for a famous restaurant Shoko has been blabbering about for the past few days. At this point, you were finally convinced that your soul has finally transcended from all the waiting you'd done on behalf of your angry, frustrated best friend who kept complaining about how unfair the staff has been treating the customers. The truth is, you could have been inside thirty minutes ago if it wasn't for the rich-looking couple who obviously did not reserve a slot and lied about it to get ahead. What's worse is the staff not even sparing a glance, allowing them to walk inside.

Aside from waiting, you had also been suffering from secondhand embarrassment. Shoko, the ever-so-feisty one between the two of you, had been talking to the staff responsible for the reservation list. The more she got upset, the more her voice got louder, and you had to pull her back to remind her that you guys were in public.

"I swear," Shoko huffed, hands on her hips, rolling her eyes at the unbothered staff who clearly knew what he was doing, "I will rate this zero stars."

"That's mean." You uttered, pushing her back slightly. "It was just a person - the whole crew doesn't need to suffer from a negative review."

Pushing back, Shoko sent you a firm look (that did not even intimidate you; you think she only looked like an angry cat.)

"My legs are cramping, Y/N! I am wearing heels!" She whispered, pain laced in her voice. You laughed lowly, sending her a teasing smile. "You literally could've just sat on the waiting chairs."

"There were chairs?"

Before you could even let out a funny comeback (that you thought was genius), a deep voice spoke from behind you, the scent of wood sage and sea salt cologne coming off strong, almost making you feel dizzy from how strong it was.

That's when it started.

The loud, clicking sound; follows its own rhythm, getting louder and louder as the scent from behind you becomes stronger, filling your nostrils.

"Shoko?"

You turned around at the familiar tone, one that reminded you of train stations and parks.

You were meant to meet his eyes - the kind man who offered to walk to the park when you got lost. Toji, if you could recall well, was his name.

But you met someone else's gaze instead.

The clicking in your mind disappeared. It had turned eerily quiet, except for the low buzzing in your ears. It seemed as though the clicking faded out, like a countdown reaching its last number.

Somewhere in your mind, you could hear Shoko speaking, mixed with Toji's voice who kept calling your name.

But you were someplace else.

Somewhere blue.

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

 𝔀𝓮𝓵𝓬𝓸𝓶𝓮 𝓽𝓸 𝓴𝓪𝓸'𝓼 𝓬𝓸𝓻𝓷𝓮𝓻!

hi everyone, it’s kao!

it has been mONTHS!!! i missed everyone on here so much!

thank you for all the kind words! even when I was away, I had been receiving messages and replies from my lovely readers. i got too busy juggling work and school and had literally zero time for my hobbies. you guys have no idea how much I missed writing!

anyway, i have been [secretly] writing chapters in my drafts just in case I finally found the time to proof-read them and finally publish it for you guys ˃̵ᴗ˂�� but I had to focus on more important things for me this month, so I left these babies unpublished for the meantime. i wanted to make sure everything was perfect before publishing them!

but fear not my friends, i am [officially] back in business!! ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ

as always, feedback/reblogging would me a lot to me! thank you for the small appreciation you guys have shown!  ପ(๑•ᴗ•๑)ଓ ♡

see u guys in chapter 07!

kao, out! ʚ♡ɞ

[sincerrelyserena]

i have this scenario in my head where as homework for music classes in kamiyama you have an option of 3 choices ,composing a song on the piano and playing it, learning a song on the piano, or making powerpoints of famous musicians, and Ai chooses the 3rd one (also unrelated bury i just fucking swallowed my gum 😭😭 started choking while writing this) and like let’s pretend she composed this song for her music homework ‘https://youtu.be/d70HyoiSj4E?si=8Kw2dqWfEZLP2mxQ’

and then she plays it infront of the class, it’s quite a sad songs actually, in the k-drama it comes from, it’s to be played when your missing someone, or want someone to be near you etc, and bc ai and rui are in the same class rui obviously hears the song and he’s like ‘wow that’s so sad i never knew ai could produce such strong emotions in just a short piano composition’ and then tsukasa is full out crying like ‘AI THATS SO BEAUTIFUL HOW DID YOU DO IT 😭😭’ and the rest of her class are absolutely GOBSMACKED and then ai is just standing there all embarrassed bc of all the compliments she had gotten (poor baby dosent get enough praise for her art, unless it’s for her idol group)

and then rui and ai lock eyes right and ai just smiled shyly at him and rui is like ‘damn, maybe i have feelings for this strange woman who randomly came up to me one day and became my best friend?? ‘

and then one day, rui is teaching ai how to ballroom dance because she has to go to this event with her mum and then while they are dancing THE INGAME BACKGROUND MUSIC IS THE SONG SHE COMPOSED

AND ITS ABOUT WANTING SOMEONE/MISSING SOMEONE SO IMAGINE IF AI ASKS RUI HOW TO DANCE BUT ITS BEEN A WHILE SINCE THEY LAST FULLY INTERACTED SO LIKE IT ALL TIES TOGETHER AND AHHHH IT WOULD BE SO FUTE RUI TEACHING AI HOW TO DANCE AND EVEN THO THEY CANT HEAR IT BECAUSE THEY ARE INGAME CHATAVYERS YOU CAN HEAR AIS SONG ABOUT YEARNING FOR SOMEONE YOU LOVE AND MISSING SOMEONE AHHHHHHAGEHSBBANA

SORRY THIS IS SO LONG OMFG I DIDNT MEAN FOR IT TO BE THIS LONG 😭😭🙏

OMG??? I WOKE UP FROM A NAP AND THIS IS CUTE OMGOMG MY HEART😭😭😭💕💕

[anothershadeofpurple]

Yay for a happy ending but wow Mariana really didn’t deserve Ana what was that? Why do that? Ana pining all the time while Mariana barely had any scene telling us that yes, she was in love with Ana at last half as much as Ana was. After all of that Mariana didn’t even had to make any effort to get Ana?

I spent way too long wanting Ana to get over Marina and realize that she is truly bi (not that bs that she is not gay she just loves Mariana 🙄) and finding someone else who can love her the way she deserves. Really Ana and other women not Mariana was some of my favorite parts lol I really wished Ana had a one night stand, she would still be miserable because she was so in love but at least she could have some great sex, and not just pine while Marina had Ferran

I guess the writers in the end are just not that good, s2 was also pretty underwhelming and s3 was I guess better but not as good as s1. And yes I blame the writers I don’t think that Netflix made any changes there. Just one scene with Mariana and Ana talking about their feelings all that went through, Mariana really talking about how heartbroken she was when Ana pushed her away in s1, about that night together scared her so much she couldn’t think, anything about how much she loves Ana would help so much instead it ended making me feel that Ana was so much more in love that made me kinda sad for her.

Ohh btw sorry for the long rant, the show left me all over the place 😆

Oh my God, I hear you Anon, I'm all over the place too. I should be adulting for Christmas, but instead, I want to do meta deep dives on Tumblr. And I am.

Season two did get boring as well because of the dudes, much like this season, but I do feel it all comes down to trying to keep some imagined general audience happy while carving out space to even be able to tell a gay story, not a lack of capacity. (I like giving creators the benefit of the doubt, especially since we did actually get a textual slow-burn love story between two women. Writers may choose to do it themselves to avoid the network mingling in the first place. I don't know.)

Yes, Ana as truly bi or gay would have been less of a cop-out, I'd like to just think she needs more time to come to terms with her sexuality and this is just an in-between state. After all, it's in character for Ana to be methodical about her sexuality and try to control it. "I'm gonna go out, pick a woman, see if I'm into it and then I will know for sure where I fit in." She might as well have started the episode with a PowerPoint presentation in which she explained this plan to Elena. Ana wants control, she wants shortcuts, which doesn't work in cases like this. We had one of her phony bridge club friends say that "She knew she was a lesbian since high school" when Ana introduced Mariana as the other mother of her daughters. Ludwika just shows us there's so much going on with Ana behind her eyes, I feel like she has a very rich backstory for Ana that she is tapping into. Would love to hear her talk about that. And yes, the chemistry with that woman was actually... good? Even with Elena. She's got Momistry with Mariana, but with these other women... it was easy to imagine more interesting exchanges.

I think the setup for Mariana actually loving Ana instead of Ferran is there, but they did a terrible job with the pacing and gave us so much Ferran that it became difficult to believe. There's the conversation with Elena where the acting makes it very clear she doesn't actually love Ferran, but is playing it safe with him... but even so, it was her turn to talk about her feelings to Ana. And it could have been a few sentences, a short scene, it really didn't need much.

I feel if this last episode would have had another passionate kiss, a few words from Mariana and some tears I would be ridiculously happy right now instead of rationalizing that I should be happy and grateful for getting that next step. It's still progress, hopefully it opens doors for the next slowburn. Eventually someone's gonna get it right.

I better finish my lesbian Hallmark script...

[nevergonnabemuchmorethanweather]

Funny how Joyce was "concerned" about Bangel yet was besties with Spike. And I wonder if Buffy knew she's part of the reason they broke up

Oh, I have so many thoughts on this.

First of all, Joyce is just... so stupid. She's so so so stupid and has zero intuition or even basic common sense. She has no idea what's going on ever but is always so sure she knows what's best-- the absolute worst kind of stupid person. Her immediate, unwavering trust in a vampire her daughter sometimes reluctantly worked with but was CLEARLY hostile to and distrustful of is only one example of this.

Also, like... in the months Buffy was gone, did Joyce really never ask anyone for a basic rundown of what had been happening in the last year to lead to the world almost literally ending? And she also never asked Buffy when she came home? Because even the vaguest outline of the events of S2 would have made it inescapably clear that Spike was not on the home team when he showed up at her house in Lover's Walk.

Imagine finding out vampires and demons are real, and your teenage daughter is a superhero who fights them with the help of her friends and a librarian... and having no follow-up questions. No desire to understand any of it. Putting aside the fact that that's a whole new level of apathetic parenting, it's also a whole new level of being a useless twit.

As for going behind Buffy's back to tell Angel to leave her... where to even start? I could go on for ages on all the reasons it was a completely unacceptable thing to do, but what really stands out is that once again it's so painfully obvious that Joyce does not know or respect her daughter at all. It's also incredibly galling that Joyce thinks Buffy is the feeble minded waif who can't see beyond her feelings or make the hard decisions.

Joyce, who almost married an evil robot, who cannot grasp any concept that's even remotely foreign to her, who has never met a trick she wouldn't fall for or a situation she couldn't utterly misinterpret, who buried her head in the sand for years rather than face reality, threw a tantrum when that wouldn't work anymore, then blamed absolutely everyone but herself for the consequences of it... thinks Buffy is too immature and weak to make her own life choices. And the sad thing is, she wouldn't recognize the irony in that if you gave her an hour long PowerPoint presentation.

[ukigumos]

« ooc / meluna -

I need to get this brainrot off my chest so today's 1880 thoughts, with rambles and no sense of direction:

There's no heterosexual explanation for Kyouya's rage whenever he sees Takeshi almost dead. I think in some ways, he is effected by that roof incident at the start of KHR. And man. When Takeshi got stabbed and almost actually died in the Shimon arc? I bet you 100% Kyouya visited him then chose violence.

And don't get me started on whatever was going on with that Genkishi battle. One glance at Takeshi and Kyouya was like 'and I took that personally'.

What's interesting is that Kyouya is extremely anal about owing people and people owing him. But he never holds it against Takeshi when he saves him. Usually he'd register a fallen man like that as a weakling, but he still holds Takeshi with high regards. He always says his full name while calling others runts, monkeys, herbivores, etc.

I think the mutual respect for each other's strength is what makes the pair so appealing. The fact that Takeshi, the biggest support pillar of the family, has someone who he can fall back onto, that he doesn't have to pretend to be okay around. Impeccable.

Recently, I was analyzing that anime-only 1880 episode ever for my powerpoint/masterpost and that thing served. Their interactions are limited, but the chemistry is off the walls. 1880 is the sort of ship where when you compare/contrast their interactions with the rest of the cast, their relationship between each other shines so bright.

I noticed something VERY interesting when watching how Takeshi behaved around his friends vs Kyouya when he was in pain about letting go of baseball. He makes no effort to hide himself at all. No laughter. No lies. He gets straight to the point and Kyouya listens. He actually listens to Takeshi a lot, surprisingly. (look at when Kyouya made a beeline to Takeshi in the Sky Battle and actually RESTED and entrusted Takeshi with his ring-- like, actually wtf was that)

Anyways. I think my favourite part about the 1880 episode ever was that Kyouya watches from afar. I think that's his way of supporting Takeshi. He quietly watches over him, and he only intervenes when Takeshi almost dies.

There was something just really sweet about the way Kyouya noticed how much baseball meant to Takeshi when he was cleaning the clubroom, giving him space. The storyboarding there actually hits so hard. He watches over Takeshi teaching the juniors from the roof then turns up to the match the very next day completely unprompted (also note how Tetsuya kept up with Namimori Middle School's baseball activities years later, hm, sus).

Meanwhile, Hayato is being a (saying this in the nicest way possible) fucking asshole the entire time, downplaying Takeshi's pain, telling him that he's not working hard enough, calling baseball a waste of time etc.

The episode is so sad to me. Takeshi letting baseball go. I think Kyouya knew the gravity of the decision. When I first watched that episode as a 12 year old, it didn't really click at first. But I've been thinking about Kyouya's response to Tetsuya when Tetsuya says 'it's a loss which leads to a brighter future'.

'Losing's useless. you have to win'.

On the surface, not only is this a very Kyouya thing to say, but most would interpret it as him not caring or-not having faith. But I think, there's a bit of symolism in here. Because the whole point of Takeshi's arc is about sacrifices SO, here's my hot take:

Kyouya isn't saying that 'if you loss, it's pointless.' literally. Because almost every single time Takeshi 'loses', he still turns up for him, doesn't he? It's not about that. If anything, I think that Kyouya is saying that Tetsuya's words when applied to Takeshi, is wrong. So if we read it as: 'Takeshi's loss of baseball leads to a brighter future', then we can interpret Kyouya's words as him saying that 'Takeshi shouldn't have to lose baseball'

Now circling back to the first thought, I think this particular incident would've been that extra catalyst for Kyouya's rage when Takeshi almost dies. Because he was out there embracing his love for baseball again. Then he almost loses his life. The audacity.

[sobredunia]

Y’know as much as I may be a school hater I gotta hand it to them for teaching me something very strangely beautiful (they didnt teach it to me directly like in a class sort of deal tho. i refuse to give them that big of a W)

uhh tw mentions of ass fucking and giving premature birth for like. a single line. it literally does not matter. oh and also anime as a currency and maybe just maybe slight traumadump

you know presentations, right? you do a thing then show the class the thing and explain your thing and shit

mostly as a kid they’d have us buy this giant colored cardboard paper thing and put info about a certain topic in it. the very first one that i remember doing was with this one girl named Mar about penguins. later as we got older shit got more competitive bc the class would vote on which cardboard presentation was the best and the winner would get the cardboard hanging in the school walls for all to see. and idk i guess it hurt spending a decent amount of time in a cardboard only for another one to get voted as if your efforts werent worth anything

ANYWAYS.

so yea school started with cardboards and then around 13-14 we started doing like. powerpoint presentation things. and depending on the topic and if the group project i ended up with were cool friends i got to add a lot of little gags and memes and overall have a lot of fun. and it was because these things were fun that i actually managed to remember a lot of things that we agreed to talk about during the presentation! who knew that having fun made learning better! wish they’d implement that to the school system!

over time teachers started to get more stern on not copypasting shit into the slides and then just reading it aloud for the presentation, and although having notes to read was allowed you definitely looked a lot more preofessional if you didnt have any. also with time I started to get more opportunities to do my presentations alone which i definitely enjoyed more than group ones because i could put whatever shit however i wanted and didnt have to meet up with anyone else and waste time trying to agree on what to do

which then leads into the wonderful tale of this one time in 2018-19 (cant rember) where our english teacher asked us to do a presentation. i dont know if it could be about whatever we wanted or if it had to be about money or whatever. but i chose to make it about anime as a currency. and i got a 10 of course because my english fucks severely and absolutely no one else did a presentation with as much slides and detail as mine did and honestly i think the teacher was just scared on what I’d do if i got a bad grade

but thats not the point of the story, just a highlight

then a couple months ago, since the class i was in was the Art Class, a teacher from a different subject asked us to illustrate one of the many poems that this one book had. I had different vague ideas going around in my brain but the deadline was so far away and i just didnt bother

until the deadline wasnt far away

it was very close, actually

(can you tell i write fanfiction)

so anyways adhd fucked me raw in the ass once again and i was still not done getting fucked by other things so fucking. supreme. deadline was close as shit and all the vague ideas took long ass time so I winged it as always and just read one of the poems at the end and got another idea then made the dollar store version of it and speedran that shit

and then time of presentation came and of course i was last and a buncha days passed with people just presenting their illustrations and all that wonderful time i could have spent making this shit more presentable but instead i had my cringe ass nae nae baby in my hands that i gave birth to too fucking soon for it to look more than just a sad fetus. literally any time its presenting time i either offer to go first or second or i get elected last i dont know how the fuck it happens but it happens. so anyways

instead in all those classes of classmates explaining shit with dead voices (we’re teenagers) i didnt listen in to what they said (i wouldn’t have even if i tried lmao) and instead just thought of how to present my work. i didnt have a powerpoint so through words alone it is

and then i just started coming up with beautiful tings to say about my work. How i used the most cheap materials i could find to not mock the author, who wrote in misery and made poetry out of misery, and it was now my turn to take those words engraved in pain and shape them around into something beautiful, over the ruins that got left behind, with resources available to the lowest of the low like library printers and cheap glue stick. make poetry from ruin to ruin, instead of the aristocrats noble poets of the past had focused on pleasing

and yall. i got the highest grade i’d ever gotten in anything from that class up until then. it still is

I’ve always been the goddess of just. making shit up as i go. a guy came up to me asking shit and i just lied on the fucking spot. no hesitation

and this has been a reoccurring thing, especially this past year, where i would have to present drawings (actual drawings) I’ve made and I just said some fancy cheesy shit and the teachers were swooned

and I don’t think it’s just me, either. I think this can extend to all people. the ability to look at the ugly, the neutral, the mundane, the devastation, and just make it into art. not by altering it per se, but simply talking about it. talking about things in a way that, although you might be winging every word not really believing what you say to be true, can make other people find them beautiful

i dunno, just my little thoughts

[lgcjiho]

━━ lee jiho : future dreams, season 7 alumni original song song: chaser

artist contribution points: composition — 121 / lyrics — 155 / arrangement — 121 / choreography — 50

song concept ( 419 )

from the moment that he had been given the go ahead to brainstorm whatever concept he wanted, he knew he was going to stray far from agito's concept. it wasn't that he didn't like it—because he enjoyed being able to smile and interact with his members and the fans during shoots and performances, not having to hide his expression—but he knew that that was a side of him that he would always be able to show. he didn't get to show the non-refreshing side of his stage presence very often, unless it was in his own covers or choreography videos that he released on the v&a channel. he's done a few different concepts, with his studio choom cover being probably his favourite. but he's never tried a rock song before, and the idea of adding in different elements of rock music, with the electric guitars and an overall darker vibe was something he wanted to try this time around since it wasn't really his goal for his actual solo debut song if he won.

he had a whole list of ideas he had for the song's concept, and he had put them all into a powerpoint when he was preparing to make the song. there were tons of ideas and he had tried to narrow them down, even bringing a few different melodies to the table before he had decided on this one. it's more grungy and rock, but the lyrics and the vibe of the song are still a bit sad.

composition ( 121 ) / arrangement ( 121 )

as a relative beginner to composing and arranging, he wanted to try his hand at it. with the experts there along with him, he was able to explain the melody of the chorus and some of the guitar riffs that he wanted, since he had already written down a few notes and melodies that he had come up with. he hadn't really worked with anything like the production equipment before, but he knows that it's something that he wants to do professionally in the future.

there's a few riffs that he wants that make it into the song, and he does his best to fix everything in a way that makes sense but he does leave a lot of the work to the official producers of the song, mostly just telling them his ideas and following along closely with everything that is going into it.

lyrics writing ( 155 )

this is probably his area of expertise at this point, since he was the first in the newest generation of legacy artists to start working on writing songs. he's not quite sure what had gotten him started—well, he does know but he tries not to think about it—but he's glad he had branched out to write music. it's something that his job will always consist of, and it's nice that he had some contribution to both agito songs as well as some other artist songs.

there's quite a few lines in 'chaser' that he directly contributed to, and jiho is pretty proud of them. he's never really experienced a relationship in which he can't let go of someone who's bad for him, a liar like he wrote in the lyrics, but he's watched enough movies and read enough books that it's easy to imagine himself in a situation as such. the bridge is one of his favourites and is mostly his work, only with a bit of editing to make it fit the melody better.

since he's been working with writing his own lyrics in multiple different genres of songs, he had already had some stuff written down before, just bits and pieces of different thoughts and ideas and he works with the team to get it to really be what the end result is.

choreography ( 50 )

considering how he wants to perform the song, he doesn't really think there's any necessary actual choreography needed. he knows that he's the main dancer of agito, but he's also the lead vocalist and he wants to showcase that since he's been focusing on dance when it comes to a lot of his solo covers that he uploads on youtube.

what he does plan out is how he's going to use the stage, at what times he's going to be walking around and at which points he'll be standing in one spot. he wants to really showcase that he has a lot of stage presence and that he doesn't need to be dancing to prove that. he hopes that he'll be able to keep the performance a dynamic one by making use of the room that he had, along with a mic stand and hand mic. he relies on the crew for the rest of it though, and listens to everything that they suggest and takes their advice seriously.

styling ( 100 ) — pinterest

when it comes to styling, he wouldn't say that he's the most confident in his own style. while he enjoys shopping and choosing clothes for himself, he's not entirely sure that he would consider himself fashionable or anywhere close to being a fashionista. all of the times that he's been a model for anything, he's never been the one to style the outfit. he can do his own makeup though, and that's mostly where he had given some input.

after searching online for something that fit with the concept and the theme of the song, he had come across the phrase 'grunge' when it came to fashion and he had thought that that suited the vibe that he was going for. he had told the stylists that, and had given his opinion as they showed him their own ideas that they had gotten from his vision and thankfully they had helped him put together an outfit and a makeup look that really fit what he wanted and something he hadn't really done before.

also, considering his hair is getting pretty long, he thinks that it really kind of suits the vibe that he's going for and asks the stylists not to do too much to it. he kind of wants to just let it grow out, but he also lets them do whatever to it as long as they keep the length.

stage production ( 356 ) — pinterest

stage production is something that he had been excited to be able to dabble in. as an artist (both an idol and a literal artist, since he had picked up painting after sketching since childhood), he had really wanted to be able to participate in picking out the background of the stage. since he was allowed to help and give his ideas for this, he knew exactly the idea he wanted for it.

his first idea had been a city that never sleeps at night, with tokyo and new york coming to mind, with the billboards and plenty of neon lights. he had also been inspired by some scene from the newest spiderverse movie, with the neon lights in the dark. it had given him the right vibe that he wanted for the stage. his other idea had been graffiti, since it sort of felt like it went with the whole grungey, rockstar vibe that he wanted when it came to the song.

he even drew some of the graffiti himself, despite not having that much experience in that medium but he had had fun drawing things on the ipad since it was going to be displayed behind him. with the mixture of the two, he came up with a fun idea of making it look like he was walking through the city at night, with the lights being street lamps and also having some brick walls with graffiti scribbled on them.

[shadowonwater]

I was about 14 when I first heard of asexuality. I saw a piece of fanart on DA that was headcannoning the sexualities of some characters from a cartoon. I recognized all of them but asexuality, so I looked it up and found the definition on AVEN.

I didn't realize at first that I was asexual though. I kinda got sexual attraction mixed up with romantic/aesthetic attraction. It was a year later when I realized I was asexual. There wasn't any "AH HAH!" moment. Just a gradual realization that people were behaving in ways I didn't fully understand.

When I was first identifying as asexual, not many people knew what it was. It felt like I had to pull out a PowerPoint presentation whenever it came up. It was really annoying and kind of alienating. But now we're at a point where running into people who haven't heard of it is becoming less common. And when it comes to Queer spaces I haven't run into anyone who hasn't heard of it in a long time.

Some of my various experiences coming out:

There was an old friend of mine I know from back in Elementary School. We weren't super close but we were friends. In High School she saw my Ace Flag Pin and asked me if that was the bi flag (I guess she didn't know what that looked like?) I told her "No, this isn't the bi flag. This is the ace flag." and she asked me what that was and I explained. Her reaction was basically "huh, I had never thought of that before but it makes sense that that exists." This was exactly the sort of thing that I liked hearing. Unfortunately she followed it up by calling me "Sweet and Pure". Which I find infantalizing and sort of mixing asexuality up with celibacy. As well as moralizing sex, which I don't like.

I remember telling this one girl in math class, we weren't friends just classmates, about my asexuality. She had a similar reaction to above without the infantilizing part. Although, I tried explaining the split-attraction model and she didn't get it. She wasn't rude about it or anything, she just couldn't seem to wrap her head around the idea that sexual attraction and romantic attraction could be two separate things.

I remember a close friend that I came out too. He thought it was something sad, to be pitied. I told him that I liked the way I was. He was and is a good friend despite that not great reaction. Luckily the other friends I had told at the same time as him didn't have any negative reaction to my sexuality.

When I tried to tell my mother, she mistook my anxiety towards coming as anxiety towards my lack of feeling attraction and tried to assure me that I was just a "late bloomer" (I was about 16 at the time). Well I'm not a late bloomer. Here I am as a 22 year old adult and still not feeling sexual attraction. I haven't really directly brought it up with her since. I still clearly wear my ace flag pin and she mentioned hesitantly if I wanted to go to a Pride Parade not too long ago. But maybe that was about my agender-ness, which similarly also didn't go well when I tried to come out about, and we also don't really talk about it. Of all the things I could be queer-wise, of course I had to be things that my mom didn't understand. If I were a lesbian, this whole thing would be so much simpler.

(I leave it at this for now, I have more things I could say, but all this typing his tiring.)

Just an asexuality related rant

Its really tiring that most of the content in the ace/aro community isn't really about the people in it, but about educating others outside of it. Sure, raising awareness is very important, but I'd really like to see more posts talking about aro and ace experiences.

It has gotten to a point where half the posts are explaining very basic terms and the other half are just jokes about dragons, cake and garlic bread... it feels like its catering more to allos than the ace community itself.

I'd love to see more posts made by aces/aros that talk about their feelings, experiences and opinions. Especially sex favorable aces and romance favorable aros who arent represented as much as they ought to be!!!

[ball-whenever]

YO 2024

Hey, hope is okay when you are reading this.

Currently living in Hong Kong, writing this at 4.33am Sunday morning.

Working at Casetify - about 5 months left till I can leave.

Life has been pretty crazy lately, I have achieved lots since I last wrote on here. I have a degree, I have nearly 3 years experince in marketing and have made lots of friends back home in chch thanks to my cousin Angus.

I meet lots of these people through the football club UC Angus, they are all legends.

I have also been living away from my parnets as of 2022. I was first living with x3 strangers that I had some mutral friends with but they were still strangers. The following year I would stay in the same flat but fill it with Angus, Liam and Toby. This was so much fun.

I am now living bymyself in Hong Kong. Simon my uncle convinced me it would be great here. I was working for Ryman Healthcare as a Marketing Coordinator & as a Marketing Jr while I was finishing my degree. I met Bronte & Laura they were amazing mates and good to bounce life ideas off to. Sam was also a star! Hamish and Lauren were great but they didnt work in the MKTG team. The people who hired me would end up going against me and cause me to burnout and want to leave. So I did and now all I want to do is leave Hong Kong as its waaaay to expensive and I cannot save any money. I need to get on with life, I feel like its catching up to me.

I've had lots of people leave my life in my family recently. Pa passed away at 96 in 2023 then as of nearly 2 months ago my Grandad would pass away and today my Nana passed away. This all sucks. I will miss Grandad heaps, he was like a best mate to me. When I left NZ I told him that I want to see him when I get back. Sadly this would not come true. His funeral was sad. So many people came to celebarte his life. He knew so many people and spred his positvity and genorosity so far. I am so lucky to have had 25 years with him.

As life goes on, I have the goals of sports marketing but more keen to be a head of marketing one day in my early 30's. Curretly I just want to gain experince, money and travel. I also want to help my Mum achieve everything she wants. She helped me so much in my life, its only right that I give back to her. Dad is in good form, I wish he would give me more words of wisdom and advice - when he does it goes so far and helps so much. I miss my brothers smile and love, I get so much joy from just spending time with him.

Currently about to make a powerpoint for work just to get a job promotion, not sure if I will get the promotion as they seem to want to give me more work but maybe not the new title and extra money.

Anyway, I gotta do it now - chat soon and sorry its been so long.

[married-to-google-translater]

Imagine the mess if Mc had a boyfriend in the human world but they broke up when Mc went on an exchange to study at Devildom. Maybe Mc didn’t want a long distance relationship.

However, if a boyfriend would later become an exchange student at Devildom and believe they would continue their relationship with mc. But Mc has already started a relationship with the undateables

Obey me brothers are here

Simeon

" I'm sorry but Mc is already in a relationship with me. However, I hope we can all be friends. "

Well Simeon is an angel.

He really believes you can all be friends and get along with each other.

And his faith does not waver easily.

Let’s hope your boyfriend isn’t an asshole who mocks Simeon.

Because if they are they have to face the rage of Luke and the Simeon simps.

It doesn't end well.

Otherwise, Simeon is really happy and respectful.

he and your ex boyfriend can sit down to have a tea and chat about the fun stories that have happened to you.

It's a really weird sight...

Best to get used to it.

However, Simeon wouldn't want to give up on you.

He is trying to show how happy you are now with him.

Only Simeon is able to create a good distance between his partner’s ex boyfriend.

He is too pure.

Diavolo

" Mc, why are you looking at me strangely? I just welcomed your ex boyfriend to hell. No I don't emphasize the word hell in any weird way. Right Barbatos? You see Barbatos agrees with me."

Well Diavolo is really not excited about this.

He didn’t make that powerpoint presentation “What good would it do for both of us if we started dating” in vain.

However, this is not a big problem.

Or he's the prince of Devildom...

Diavolo makes sure you and your ex end up in a different dorm "by accident."

You also end up "accidentally" in parallel classes.

He also "accidentally" ask you to marry him so your ex boyfriend sees it.

( Diavolo is pretty adept at making "accidents" right? )

No one knows if he’s doing this because he’s worried or if he’s just enjoying the bullying of that poor soul.

I guess the latter option.

And if all goes wrong Diavolo could kick your ex boyfriend out of the exchange student program because of “bullying”.

Hypocrisy is always an option in the field of politics

Barbatos

Barbatos finds it very difficult to hold back his laughter when your ex boyfriend wishes him luck in this “fair” fight.

The battle with the demon-butler who sees the future is certainly not fair.

He thinks your ex boyfriend’s trying are entertaining.

(Because Barbatos is a sadist and he enjoys having your ex boyfriend put a lot of effort into attempts that are doomed to fail before they even try them.)

He 100% sure knew your ex boyfriend was going to devildom from the beginning of your relationship.

If your ex boyfriend's tea accidentally shows poison it's "not" his fault.

Outside Barbatos is really polite and friendly.

He will kindly arrange a tour of hell for your ex boyfriend.

If your ex boyfriend agrees they will never return to their former state and become the most faithful follower of God.

" Don’t be angry dear I just wanted to introduce the Devildom to your ex. I promise to pay for their therapy. It was a joke dear they don’t really need therapy."

Solomon

Solomon would offer the biscuits he baked himself to your ex boyfriend when they first met.

Anyone who doesn’t know Solomon thinks it’s a friendly gesture.

Anyone who knows Solomon knows that it is a declaration of war.

( This time, Solomon was genuinely trying to cook badly. Solomon is also the only one who notices the difference in taste. For others, it’s as horrible as his normal cooking.)

Indeed, he already knows that the new student is your ex boyfriend.

No one knows how but Solomon just knows.

He might show a couple of "magic tricks" to your ex boyfriend.

Don’t be surprised if after that your ex boyfriend is a talking frog.

This frog cannot be turned into a human by kissing.

It will take at least a week for Solomon to get your ex boyfriend back.

Isn't that sad?

"Mc I already said it was an accident. Don't think about it too much. Look I made you muffin you want to taste it?"

[treesandtheirberries]

the one where they realize they aren't compatible

pairing: florist!h & professor!reader

wc: 2.3k, fluff & angst

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

(y/n) was sat at her desk, smiling at her students through Zoom as they were currently engaged in a conversation about their own relationship experiences about compatibility. Today's lecture was based upon different theories of predictors of divorce, and it was always one of her favorite topics. Not only was she able to advise a group of young individuals about what they should strive towards, but she could also tell them red flags that were statistically necessary to avoid. It was also slightly amusing to her to see some students realize they were in relationships that wouldn't work out. It was always funny (although, sad) to see some students' eyes widen in realizing they needed to talk with their partner ASAP.

"As we come to an end, I want to talk about some more predictors that will really solidify a healthy relationship. As you all move towards marriage therapy in the future, these are topics you will hear about endlessly that tear partners apart."

Although the two were only together for four months, they both had keys to each other's apartments. They were very comfortable with one another despite being 'early' in the relationship, and they would often go to each other's homes in seek of comfort. Today, Harry had closed his shop early since he hadn't received a shipment of flowers. Realizing he wouldn't have much to sell, he decided to go see his love.

He knew she had a class to teach at this time, so he quietly made his way around her apartment, leading into the kitchen. After making a cup of tea as quietly as possible, he walked into her room. It was very comforting for him to hear her lecture, so he was looking forward to hearing her "professor" voice.

Thankfully, the way her room was arranged, did not allow her students to see Harry entering her room, but she offered him a smile nonetheless.

"So, as you can see on the PowerPoint, these are really the three things you and your future partner should be aligned on. When it comes to therapy, a couple will almost always come to you because they have some sort of disagreement on these three."

Harry had been fascinated with her area of focus as a professor, finding that marriage studies was something that suited her very well. Equally so, (y/n) was infatuated with Harry's job as a florist and now always had a lively home thanks to him.

"I'm going to go through each one very quickly, and then we'll go through questions so you all can finally get out of Zoom prison."

Harry sipped his tea as he heard the small chuckles from her class.

"First, money. I don't think many people realize how big of an issue this can become when they just start dating. This refers to how each party spends or saves it. Of course, you have your spenders that don't mind indulging in their pleasures whereas the opposed tend to save every penny they get. When two people are dating, they might note these differences and find them endearing but they will eventually become a big source of tension. In a marriage, finances are crucial and it can be difficult to be with someone who doesn't see your view on how to spend or save money. Especially when it comes to raising your own family.

"Next, we have sex." (y/n) gave a smile to her computer, already expecting her students to laugh. "I know, I know. But really, having an incompatible sex life can cause a divorce! What I mean by this is you typically see partners come into therapy because the other doesn't want to have sex as often, or maybe they want sex too frequently. Even, you'll hear about partners who want different things in bed," more laughter arose from her students, "so it's really important to establish what you like in bed." (y/n) didn't shy away from topics that were slightly uncomfortable, because she hoped students could learn from her not only for their profession but in their personal lives as well.

"Finally we have children. This one is kind of obvious, you either want kids or don't and a lot of arguments can come from disagreements about this. I've witnessed couples in therapy that are emotionally dysregulated because they agreed to have children when they never wanted to. Or, the complete opposite, where one party had to give up their dream to be a parent."

At this, a student spoke, "I see how all of these things can bring up problems, but I'm trying to figure out how I would even bring this up in my own relationship. It'd be kind of weird to bring it up now since we've been together for three years?"

(y/n) nodded along, Harry noting how she presented as more professional during her lectures. "This is a great question that I wanted to lead into. It really is recommended you have these conversations early. Some of these behaviors can be noticed early on, such as if your partner is a spender or is more frugal. You might also be able to observe stuff like sex behaviors, but there are partners who save sex for later in a relationship. So, although it might be strange, you should note from our prior chapter about those deep conversations we are meant to have with our partner once a week. These 'State of the Unions' as described in our previous book is so that we can talk about what went well and what could improve in the week. You can take this time to ask your partner how they prefer to spend their money, or what they want out of your sex life. A lot of people don't do this, but it really is necessary to establish how frequently you want to have sex each week and what you want to use in bed," at this, even (y/n) gave a small laugh, noticing her students faces. "Conversations about childbearing can definitely be sprinkled in, and you can talk more deeply to your partner about how you envision your life in the future as a parent. I see in your case you've passed the getting to know you stage, but I would recommend you sit down and get down to the nitty-gritty of it all. For others, I wouldn't talk about how many kids you want during the first date, but these three topics are definitely worth mentioning early!"

Harry was focused on what (y/n) was saying. He always thought that their relationship was surely one to last since she teaches others about the foundations of relationships. He has noticed that she's more rational than him, and does things with reason.

After some more quick questions, (y/n) finally let her class go a few minutes before they were meant to end. Sighing, she stretched and made her way to Harry on the bed. He was already sitting with his back against the headboard, making it easy for her to strip her top layers (she had pajama shorts, she never wore slacks/skirts during Zoom meetings, don't tell her students) and rest her body on his.

Instantly, Harry's hands made their way to massage her back, caressing her. "Last class, right?"

"Mhm."

He looked down, seeing her eyes closed.

"Hard day, baby?"

(y/n) rubbed her face further into his chest, breathing him in. "No, I just missed you."

With a breathy laugh, Harry said "saw me last night."

"Shush. Why'd you get out of work early? Not that I'm complaining of course" (y/n) could spend all day in his chest, it was the perfect combination of warm, soft, breathing in his musk/cologne.

He moved one hand up to massage her scalp, knowing that it tend to hurt the longer she was on Zoom. "Missed shipment. Lectures went well?"

Laughing, (y/n) smiles, "You caught the most entertaining part of my lectures. Other class dealt with grooming and the whole child predators thing."

"Yeah, I'm glad I was able to sit in, learned a thing or two." He gave a chuckle that made (y/n) move on his chest, making her smile too. "It's so nice dating a marriage professor, I don't know why everyone isn't."

(y/n) finally sat up to look at Harry, amused at his conversation. "There's not enough of us to go around, you're lucky, baby."

"Always lucky with you." he smiled, dimples prominent. "You mentioned talking about those three things with your partner earlier but we never had. Is it too early?"

Sighing, (y/n) looked at him with a guilty smile. "Sure I teach this stuff for a living but I'm not an expert on how to do it in real-time. But no, it's not too early, I always recommend new relationships talk about it roughly a month or two in."

"Oooh," Harry smiled, moving his eyebrows up and down suggestively on the conversation they were surely about to have.

"Okay fine. I'll start with money. I always have wanted hefty savings as a backup of any and every worst-case scenario but you've already seen that I do like to indulge ... frequently."

The two looked at each other with such adoration, still in the beginning stages of their relationship. "I think I'm the same. But I really don't mind spending money on experiences, I think that's pretty important."

"Weird way of saying we should go on vacation soon," (y/n) laughed.

"Loser," he smiled back, "as for sex, I would say we're pretty compatible." Harry gave (y/n) a cheeky smile, causing her to let out a snort she was trying to conceal.

"Oh my god, Harry." She started to blush, shaking her head.

"Oh better yet, we should talk about frequency, no? I love loving on you whenever I can. Daily, if you'll let me."

"Daily? If you even have enough stamina." This elicited a fake hurt gasp from Harry, making the two chuckle. "As for what we like, we should be lucky we're especially compatible with that. I mean, two switches? Who would've thought."

"A girl who lets me fuck her senseless but also fucks me? Match made in heaven," he dreamily sighed. In response, (y/n) swatted at his chest with a smile.

"Finally, child-bearing." (y/n) resumed with the list.

"Definitely never," (y/n) stated at the same time Harry let out a happy: "I want four babies!"

The two looked at each other, although they weren't sure if it was out of fear or shock.

Harry was the first to break the silence, "what do you mean 'never'."

With a blank stare, (y/n) calmly answered: "It's never been a dream of mine to be a mother, Harry. In fact, it's a nightmare to give birth to a child. To raise them. I'm not made for it."

Instantly, Harry felt himself crumble at the thought of his future tumbling with the only woman he saw could be a part of it. "What? What do you mean by that?"

(y/n) eyebrows were furrowed, not expecting their conversation to take this turn. "I really don't know how else to explain it, Harry. That's not what I want."

"But I do." He felt frustrated, always assuming that they were so similar that this conversation wouldn't be any different.

(y/n) shook her head, sitting up to look at the bedsheets instead of his eyes. "I don't know what to say. I know what I want and I can't ask you to compromise your dreams because I wouldn't do the same."

"You don't want to have kids with me? I know it's early but, you don't see that for us?"

Exasperated, she looked at him, her eyes begging "I don't want that with anyone Harry! I've never wanted that!"

"But you study marriages and families!"

"That doesn't mean I actually want a fucking 'family,' I won't be content by having offspring, Harry!"

The two sat in silence, realizing the implications of the conversation. They both knew where this was going, but were both afraid to say anything more.

After a few minutes, Harry finally spoke up, although soft enough that (y/n) wouldn't be able to hear if she wasn't right by his side on the bed. "What ... does this mean for us, (y/n)?"

(y/n) knew exactly what it meant, she had been teaching the downfall of relationships for a few years now. "If we don't have a future, Harry, then we shouldn't continue."

He was expecting it, but it still tore his heart to hear those words come out of the girl he loves. He felt his eyes water, opting to squeeze them shut while praying the past ten minutes were a joke. Shortly, he heard the girl of his dreams sniffling at his side. Finally looking over, he saw her rubbing her eyes harshly. Harry slowly reached a hand up, moving her hands. "Please, baby, you're hurting your eyes."

As she looked at him, he saw the tears that kept spilling from her eyes without her control. Barely making out the words through her sobs, (y/n) cried to him, "I'm sorry- I'm so so sorry. I didn't think- it's just who I am, and- Harry, you deserve your family."

Sighing as silent tears fell on his face, he brought her into his arms once again, although the atmosphere had shifted from when she was in his chest moments ago. "It's okay, baby. Don't blame yourself, it's okay."

The two cried with one another, coming to the realization that they wouldn't be together anymore if they didn't have a future. Soon enough, they realized, their apartments would both lose the touch of one another.

Instead of facing the implications of this unexpected separation, they tightly held each other instead, warding off thoughts of their future without each other.

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ouchie! tell me what you think!!