#who i literally forgot existed until he showed up in the ultimate trial

[lynx-doodles-indie-games]

the gents

(bonus below the cut)

owo demon

[majorxmaggiexboy]

my favorite part about TURN is how most of Ben’s little handful of Personal Enemies tend to just. forget he exists. usually (but not always) right after verbally confirming their intent to murder him.

( disclaimer: this is a very silly list and not meant to be taken seriously at all, especially toward the end, although imo i’ve got a point on some of them XD )

Simcoe is more implied, but i mean he has his own special way of saying Ben’s name and a very good reason to Absolutely Hate Him (they share a birthday!), they had an excellent dialogue basically debating each other under the guise of playing Devil/Angel to Newt...but ultimately he’s content to go after Abe and Caleb and be the bane of Anna’s existence and never think about Ben again.

Rogers literally spends all of s1 on a full-on quest to get revenge against Ben for having the audacity to fight for his life and survive Rogers’ ambush. The first time he hears Ben’s name, it zooms in on his face as a “oh sh** he comin” song plays over the scene.The last time they see each other, Rogers  l i t e r a l l y  swears to hunt Ben down....and then only ever mentions him again, one time, to Abe, and then hecks off to do his own thing and doesn’t even go back to the Must Kill Tallmadge quest after finishing the Must Kill Jandre quest. Drops Ben like a hot potato (not an inaccurate label but we digress)

Sarah considered shooting him but she isn’t really on this list

Arnold gives his whole stupid spiel in the tavern about how Ben’s one of the Meddling Kids who ruined his life and how he Will Not Let That Stand and then, to be fair, you know what, actually he might have been trying something when he invited Ben to turncoat. He knows Ben’s Head of Intelligence. Maybe he had a little backstabby plan there. We’ll give him half a point for inviting Ben via postcard to come to his little ratbastardly house party, immediately after verbally confirming intent to murder him...before proceeding to never think about or mention Ben again. half a point to Arnold. However points off for lack of follow-through or finesse bring his score to a number so negative we don’t actually have a number for it.

Lee not only decided he wanted to murder Ben, but was also fully gonna make it happen until Wash intervened and then Lee couldn’t even be bothered to plot in the background or send assassins or anything. no points. actually two points for the hilarious scene where he does intend to attempt murder. but points off for being Lee and also for giving up. Hasn’t he heard of Try, Try Again? I mean Ben’s fully immune to death but come on, dude.

Randall got his face rearranged by Ben (and the people said amen) and while it was mentioned that there was a fallout from this (for Ben) we didn’t see it and Randall didn’t discuss it and it was never brought up again. Granted there is nothing that could improve Randall’s score at this stage of the game but you know what now his score is even lower. Randall Sucks, objectively.

To be fair, Gamble never claimed he’d like to- actually no I take it back he actually did verbally confirm that, for pretty much no reason, he’d like to not only murder Ben but also ~be mean to him~ first. Actively attempted to hunt him down after he escaped but apparently was eventually like “eh, forget it” before getting indecisively d’Artagnan’d by Ben. He doesn’t lose any points though because he’s got a cute smile and is weirdly charming in a swamp weasel kind of way. Also used his last words to make a pun.

Bradford’s on the list just bc he did not give a damn. He didn’t forget anything with Ben bc Ben was barely on his radar to start with. He was so unconcerned with actually participating in the rivalry, that Ben had to carry 90% of it himself. Every time Ben shows up Bradford’s just like 🙄 doesn’t lose any points bc the only reason he didn’t make a solid attempt to do whatever he was going to do right after announcing intent to do something, was that Caleb was there as backup (always) and then the whole dying thing happened. Solid effort, Brad, deserved better and i like him so much. 9/10

Hewlett’s on the list just in order to mention that Ben literally charged into town with guns blazing and ruined his day and Hewlett was just like...he had nothing to say. Ben was off his radar so fast they couldn’t even get to the Personal Enemies stage.

Jandre unfortunately loses some points for the fact that Ben gets outed to him as Head of Intelligence and Johnsauce doesn’t particularly care or do anything with that information he’s just like “that’s weird bc based on what I know about Tallmadge, the kid sucks, but based on what I know about Washington’s Head of Intelligence, the kid is brilliant. Huh.” so he loses points for never even trying to ruin Ben’s day or anything like that but he gets a pass bc their little interaction bit was all sweet and mutal-respecting and emotionally just. yeah.

Mary’s on the list because she should have had a personal grudge like “you’re the one who invited my husband into your dangerous little spy club?” and they had some tension but she didn’t do anything and really all they did was yell at each other so u-u

hell let’s throw Scott on here too because he was like “dISCIPLINARY ACTION” but then he was like “...LATER.” like dude you can shoot like three dudes dead with no trial but you can’t even roll up one of those reports and bop Ben on the head with it? tch. no gumption Scott, you suck. Loses points because he was so convinced that someone else would handle Ben for him that he (thankfully) didn’t just do it himself.

you know what let’s actually put Washington on this list too just because of the fact that two different times, TWO TIMES, he reaches the point of being like “TALLMADGE YOURE FIRED” and literally nothing happens. Especially funny because the first time, he said Ben was fired for not being able to get the spies to listen to him and follow orders...and then Ben proceeds to...not...follow orders...like ever. at all. straight-up planned to go behind Wash’s back to rescue Hewlett but Caleb was like “I got this”...continued to defy orders right up through the second time he got fired. 10/10 but no actually Washington loses some points for just being like “I’m done with you. You’re fired.” instead of dropping that cape over Ben’s head and then spinning him a few times or something. Show some initiative, my guy, be creative. Express yourself. Anyway he apparently forgot Ben had been fired both times it happened so. List.

Peggy’s on the list because not only did she cook up a scheme to try to at least get information from Ben, she also...look, she was told by Arnold that Ben’s Head of Intelligence. The wheels turned, onscreen, for God and everybody to see. She goes to Ben, turns on the charm, which he’s too busy admiring the clock and being sad to properly appreciate, had that whole thing where she was like “Hey,,,,wanna dance,,” and he was like “I’m at your service” (!!!!!!!!) and she was like, “I should think so” (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and there was nothing happening right then that wasn’t her being like “i’m gonna squeeze this himbo for every ounce of war-critical intel he can give me. won’t even know what hit him” aND THEN IT’S NEVER MENTIONED AGAIN. SHE JUST. SPOKE TO HIM LIKE ONE TIME AND DROPPED THE WHOLE SCHEME. WIThIN THE SAME EPISODE. 1000000000000/10 Iconic, Pegs. Well done on the “Let’s not bother with Tallmadge, he’s a silly boy” angle!

Lastly let’s actually put Tarleton on here just because i mean in real life, he and Tallmadge allegedly had a run-in (an ambush, actually) that involved him stealing Tallmadge’s horse, some money, and some documents. In the show? Never even shows up. Not even mentioned. Dude quit before he even started that’s how uncommitted...boooooo