#who fits these two criteria simultaneously for me. so they have to be trans. or battler but that would be a bummer

[kushanna]

i'm not even supposed to be doing this cause i'm taking a break from thinking but. okay. can the baby from 19 years ago be trans

[transmedicalism-for-beginne-blog]

Transmedicism Rant:

Diagnostic & Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders- Fifth Addition, or the DSM-5 States that "GENDER is used to denote the public (and usually legally recognized) lived role as a boy or girl, man or woman, but, in contrast to certain social contructionist theories biological factors are seen as contributing, in interaction with social & psychological factors, to gender development."

--

Couple things to note here.

1) Biology influences Gender.

2) Look at that nice little fuck you to the social sciences in their sentence.

3) "boy or girl" "man or woman" There's only two genders, who would have guessed.

"But wait, what about "Gender Identity" ?"

Well the DSM-5 states; "GENDER IDENTITY is a category of social identity & refers to an individual's identification as male, female, or some other category other than male or female."

There you go Tucutes a nice label for y'all to use. "Gender Identity is a Social construct while Gender is a mix." (Sarcasm)

So, why the fuck is this important?

This distinction is a real issue Now because, Tucutes & MOGAI are trying to pressure the American Psychiatric Association, or the APA to remove the Mental Illness label from Gender Dysphoria, and this isn't because the condition doesn't fit the definition of mental illness it's because, of Tucutes/MOGAI putting their feelings before facts. Just in case anyone is confused. Mental Illness =/= (Doesn't mean/equal) it's made up, or pyschological. People suffer from cronic depression because, of a chemical imbalance in their brain, So despite the counter intuitive name, it doesn't mean it’s made up.

So, the problem is by attempting to cement this idea that Gender is entirely social into the minds of the masses, they're implying that anything under the label Transgender, Is Social. Except it's NOT.

Gender Dysphoria is Biological.

Transgender doesn't only mean "people that want to transition" i.e. ftm men & mtf women. Transgender is an incredibly broad label, that everyone has a somewhat different definition for.

The APA, the people who write the DSM & all of its additions, State;

"TRANSGENDER - the broad spectrum of individuals who transiently or permanetly identify with a gender different from their natal gender."

So that includes people:

- With Gender Dysphoria

- Who are Gender Non-Conforming

- Who are "Genderq^eer"

- and all that other bs ( the MOGAI "genders")

AND THAT'S THE PROBLEM.

We have evidence that Gender Dysphoria is a biological & neurological condition, but

we don't yet have evidence that any of the MOGAI "genders" has any sort of biological basis.

In fact the Tucute/MOGAI community completely miss that point completely by CREATING their own distinction between Sex & Gender. So, that they don't n e e d a biological basis.

My purpose in saying all this is that Gender Dysphoria should NOT be in the same category as MOGAI “genders” Gender Dysphoria has biological evidence. MOGAI “genders” do not. Gender Dysphoria is a mental disorder. MOGAI "genders" are not. Not a medical mental disorder at least. (lol.)

Having a biological & medical disorder lumped in with all that other stuff is creating too much fucking confusion.

And, Yes I said disorder. Because, if you were born with a condition, that you have no control over, that makes you 'feel like you were born in the wrong body, or the wrong sex/gender' & this feeling is so debilitating it causes you untold ammounts of stress, discomfort, and most the time depression, that's a disorder. Mechanically that's obviously not supposed to be the way the brain works, because if it was, humans would've never made it past prehistoric times.

"But, Alec, why is it so important that it retains the Mental Illness label? That just makes people feel bad?!?"

It's important because it changes how the Medical Community treats the issue. As Blarie White once said, " Why can't we do both, though. That's like saying, that um, you can simultaneously fight for people to be kind to Autistic people and also look for a cure. How about we do both. That'd be great. Because, actually insisting on this accepting people, and to just don't worry about it because, “everything's normal, everything's fine”; It actually leads to political correctness, which leads to no research being put into a cure. Which exacerbates all the suffering." (Her response to, "We can't support trans people and a cure at the same time.)

I don't agree that just because we don't currently have such a miracle pill, or maybe even something close to that, that doesn't mean we as a society should deny the Medical Reality and not continue research in that area. You're arguing Secondary reasons when agreeing with this, Not Primary reasons. You're arguing against the Medical illness label not necessarily because, on its face it shouldn't be labled as such but, because of a precieved secondary effect of; Some people can justify being biggoted or can make individuals feel real bad. Which I understand, I get the dog whistle concern here. However, that's not going to help medical treatment in the long run.

"But, Alec. There's people who want to transition but, don't have dysphoria!@?!!"

AND THAT IS WHY IT'S SO IMPORTANT TO SEPARATE GENDER DYSPHORIA FROM MOGAI "GENDERS"

Because, all the research on Transsexuals, (and for the record I'm going to start using the term Transsexual to refer to individuals who were born with Gender Dysphoria (a biolgical condition.) to distant it from the MOGAI "genders". ) All the research we have are of people with Gender Dysphoria, Because the idea that there are even people who believe they were born the wrong sex/gender BUT, don't have dysphoria is relatively NEW.

So, it hasn't been studied. We don't even know if it's a biological condition or a pyschological one.

Unfortunately, We don't yet have a biolgical/medical test to determine whether someone has gender dysphoria. We don't yet have a biological way of measuring what someones innate Gender or “Gender Identity” is, or what ever the fuck MOGAI & Tucutes are calling it.

We do have evidence that it is indeed innate BUT, not a clear "let's scan your Brain to see if you have Gender Dysphoria. That is, Biological Gender Dysphoria. NOT a pyschological issue that makes you think you're transgender.

Another reason why the distiction needs to be made so clear.

People who have purely pyschological reasons for wanting to be the opposite gender ( or MOGAI "genders") should NOT being using biological hormones & physical surgery. Those options should only be for people that have a biological & neurological condition. People who use feelings towards their gender do not have the ability to be transient ( to change )

"But, Alec. It sounds like you're talking about Trans-Regret. That's a tiny number of cases and a dog whistle for Transphobia!!?"

SHUT YOUR FUC--

Supposedly Trans-Regret is not common. I say supposedly because, I haven't done research into that yet. Cause' it's not a direct correlation to what I am talking about now. Regret could be very low now but, as Blaire White once said, " This is a very new phenomenon. There are no long term studies that show a person 30/40 years old, that had transitioned at 12/13 & how their life ended up. It's just never happened, it's all still very new."

Because, until recently the stigma against transsexual people was so high that it would be very uncommon for someone who only has a pyschological complex to go through the transitioning process.

However, Because we are living in F U T U R E W O R L D O F 2019 society has become far more accepting of Transsexual people. Which is good and the way it should be, BUT it does also mean that it would be more likely for people who are only psychologically "trans" or Gender Non-Conforming, to be confused with people who have a biological & neurological condition.

The DSM and all it's addtions are supposed to be a guide book to help doctors make a distinction between someone who actually has gender dysphoria someone who does not. Biological VS Physiological.

" But, Alec. I just read the DSM's criteria of Gender Dysphoria, and there is nothing specifically in it about making this distinction between biological VS pyschological???"

Yes, and that's because psychiatry (APA) looks at stuff through primarily a biological lens. So, they are operating under assumption of if you don't have a biological reason for something, then you don't have it. Combine that with the fact that this current societal focus on understanding Transgender issues, is NEW, and the DSM-5 was written before that & this creates a problem. Since we don't yet know how to create a definitive biological test, We can only rely on Self-Reporting & Observable behaviors. Which is why it is so problematic. Doctors have to somehow navigate this complicated maze to figure out whether someone actually has gender dysphoria or is just Gender Non-Conforming, or going through a phase/MOGAI "genders". This is why Transsexual people feel like they have to go through so many hoops, and all this MOGAI stuff is only making the issue more confusing for everyone. Which means, you're making it harder for doctors to figure this shit out. Which means, more hoops.

Now let me make myself clear I'm not blaming the Trans movement or even suggesting that it must go away because "tHeY're cOnfUsIng tHe cHilDRen!1!!"

There's no hidden dog whilstle in what I am saying, I am only stating what is the reality of the situation and Unfortunately because our society, until recently, has been very biggoted for years aginast certain individuals that don't fit into specific gender roles, the Tucute Trans community is incredibly sensitive to anything that can even remotely be perceived as an attack. Which I understand. However, the problem is when ever people go under intensive physical treatment for a condition, it’s the Medical community and even society's duty to make sure that an individual really requires that treatment because, having medical treatments that are either 'over prescribed', or turned out horrible have littered our history from blood letting, to shock treatment, to even staring at the sun for health reasons, & we can't forget about lobotomy. Even now, there are concerns of kids being over prescribed Adderall & Riddilen*, Which is basically speed. Not to mention all the people with pain killer addictions. Being prescribed things you don't need can lead to messing with how your body and brain functions. That's why its important, although difficult, to put our emotions aside when dealing with these medical issues to avoid the Medical pitfalls that we humans have fallen into time, & time again.

Or just take everything I just said as merely "a dog whilstle" for Transphobia because I'm actually "a hateful biggot."

"Even if you're not a Transphobe Alec, you keep making this distinction between biological and pyschological, Assuming doctors can even untangle these 'interlinked concepts'. Why should a person, who only has gender dysphoria psychologically not be allowed to Transition????"

Because, If your 'gender dysphoria' is purely pyschological, that means that “Gender Dysphoria” you’re experiencing is a SYMPTOM of another problem. It's not the problem itself. Allow me to give you a very over simplified example.

Lets look at Game of Thrones, Cersei Lannister, on several occasions has stated that she wishes she was born a male. Lets say there was some magic potion in G.O.T. that she could take to change her sex. You better believe she would drink it but, reason for this is not because, she has Gender Dysphoria. Its not because, she has some innate feeling of being born in the wrong body/gender/sex. The reason is because she exist in a world where her biological sex/gender limits her ability to get power. Which is her primary goal. So, her complex for not being a male is secondary, it's a means to an end. The doctors evaluating whether or not someone has gender dysphoria needs to concentrate on making sure the underlying problem is that the person feels that they are born the wrong gender because, they simply are. Something biologically innate. Not that they were born the wrong gender, because they develop a negative pyschological complex about what means to be their birth gender, or a negitive pyschological complex about a specific body part that just so happens to be a body part realted to biological sex because, an issue like that is transient and can be revolved through other means.

"Fuck you Alec, that Game of Thrones expamle was shit. It's far more complicated!!1!"

Yes, real life is more complicated.

So let me give you a more grounded example. While simultaneously criticizing the DSM & all of its additions. So far I have been seemingly deflating the DSM which maybe makes you believe that I think the DSM is some h o l y b o o k. The literal word from g o d. I don't and it's not. It has some very serious flaws in my opinion. One of those flaws is in the creitiera of gender dysphoria. Right now, and adolescent female could be going through puberty; the time her chest starts growing, & if you happen to be this female or simply talk to someone about their experience you will find that many of those individuals actually had a quite negative experience with it when they were adolescent.

One such story that has always stood out to me is when a friend told me about how she developed breasts when she was 13, and how incredibly disturbing and some times scary for her it was to see grown men lusting sexually after her even though she was only 13. At least to me, it doesn't seem that out of the ordinary that someone in that position could develop a pyschological complex about their breasts.

In today's confusing world they could incorrectly assume that complex is meaning you have some Gender related issue, possibly even gender dysphoria, & under the current DSM-5 criteria, someone in that position could be incorrectly diagnosed as someone having gender dysphoria.

In fact, I once read an article titled, "My daughter isn't Transgender, She's a TomBoy."

The article describes how because, of all this confusion, This young 7 year old girl who is Gender Non-Conforming keeps being asked by teachers, her pediatrician, and even random adults who have known her for years, if she's sure she's not a boy. Now, this girl has a strong sense of self so she's able to say, " No, I not a boy. I'm just a girl who likes things that are typically male." This is a happening because, of this confusion of Gender Dysphoria being compared to Gender Non-Conforming people &/or MOGAI "genders" and that’s because, we don't have this clear distinction between Transsexual and Gender Non-Conforming people &/or MOGAI "genders". My fear is that not only are we confusing the fuck out of adults with the incorrect conflation of these terms but also, confusing kids who may be simply gender non-conforming making them think they are Transsexual.

And as a last note; Perhaps it's unfair for me to point this out but, I do find it somewhat ironic that the Tucute Trans community is fighting against the idea that the strict binary view of male and female gender by advocating a strict binary view of Sex & Gender.

End Rant.

Problems with the DSM-V:

1) The DSM-V is heavily criticized by the medical community for not using any scientific evidence to back up many of the things it says. It’s also just heavily criticized in general. This alone makes it an unreliable source as there isn’t any scientific evidence suggesting you don’t need gender dysphoria to be trans ergo the statement “ you don’t need Dysphoria” means nothing.

2) Psychology uses “transgender” as an umbrella term and has for a very, very long time. It includes trans people, transvestites, crossdressers, and other GNC people. Just because usage outside of the psychology field has shifted “transgender” to more mean “trans people” doesn’t mean that the psychology field has. This means that they’re likely speaking about their own term for what transgender is and seeing as how there’s no differentiation clarifying this, it’s ignorant to assume they’ve suddenly changed the meaning of one of their terms without stating as such.

3) Potentially most importantly, transgender/trans falls under the field of neurology/biology, not psychology. This means that while mental health professionals can certainly help us, it doesn’t mean they have all the answers and it doesn’t mean that their word is more important than that of the harder sciences involved.

Please share to spread awareness. I hope this helps someone.

[inoahfewthings-blog]

Gender and Sexuality Portfolio Post Two: Connection to Foundational Course Concepts

          Understanding an individual through a psychological lens allows researchers to deepen their studies of human cognition, emotion, and behavior. Similarly, observing and recording categorization of a specific identity is essential when examining persons as an entire group through a sociological and anthropological lens. These social sciences are flexible in the manner in which they tend to incorporate one’s identity, which includes those of a gender and sexuality scope. As we define our identities and place ourselves in society, we rediscover the true meaning behind human nature and societal expectations. Creating and enacting an identity is very complicated. There are five fundamental ideas that help us create and defy boundaries preset by society: the social construction of gender, agency, privilege, oppression, and intersectionality. To simple understand human identity, and more specifically in this paper, black feminism and womanism, is to better conceptualize these terms and relate them to one’s lived/living experience.

           In relation to black feminism, we see this huge social construction of gender, that is, we see categorization of a label implemented and upheld by society (Foss, Domenico, & Foss, 2013). It can also be seen as the creation and enactment of gender. Before “doing” gender, one must define it. Society constructs what gender is, what it looks like, how people should act accordingly, and what the consequences are if one does not choose to do so. In Patricia Hill Collins’ article on black feminism and social construction (1989), we see the construction of what it means to be a White man, or rather a “Eurocentric masculinist”, opposed to being a Black woman, specifically an “Afrocentric feminist”, in America. She says that this Eurocentric masculinity can completely invalidate black feminist thought by the knowledge-validation process (p. 752). This means that because White men are considered the prestigious group of experts in society, they control the knowledge, or the narrative, distributed to others. Secondly, they remain credible for the sake of power over that knowledge. That being said, White men have control over this knowledge-validation process, which can be used to further suppress Black feminist thought by invalidating their curriculum and experience. This ideology is toxic but very realistic. Contrarily, she says that Black feminists take back this knowledge, and give out their own narrative, through shared histories, family structures, and patriarchal oppression. In other words, we take back our power by reinforcing our experiences and opposing the silence rendered onto us by Eurocentric masculinists. To connect this back to my initial paper, Black girls are opposite of the mythical norm, and therefore find power and resilience through this social construction of gender.

           With social construction of any median comes agency. Agency can be defined as choice, or truly believing that one has the ability to make a change on any social, economic, political, etc. issue (Foss, Domenico, & Foss, 2013). Black feminism approaches agency in the simple fact that it is not just defined as feminism alone. It takes on a second identity (which will be addressed in depth later). Black women recognized that their needs were not being met by the original feminist movement, so they decided to create an identity that would; they took the initiative to implement change for the betterment of themselves. “Black women have always been doing the work, creating their own political and social movements that don’t depend on traditional feminism at all” (The Root, 2018). This out-group marginalization caused Black women to create and endorse their own movement for justice. The video quotes Layli Phillips from The Womanist Reader, stating that, “unlike feminism, and despite its name, womanism does not emphasize or privilege gender or sexism: rather it elevates all sites and forms of oppression…to a level of equal concern and action” (The Root, 2018). Again, black feminism and womanism are movements that began with a choice of acting outside of the norm, or in this case (white) feminism. Black feminists essentially became agents of their own cause.

           Generally, there is a certain privilege that Black women have, although at times it may seem nonexistent. Privilege is the advantage or power that one from a prestigious group has over those who are stigmatized and outcasted (Launius & Hassel, 2015). This privilege may be intentional or unintentional and can easily be (un)seen in the matrix of social rule. Brittney Cooper, author of Eloquent Rage: A Black Feminist Discovers her Superpower, explains how Beyoncé is an extremely influential and powerful figure and uses her platform, or her privilege, to express her ideation of Black feminism. The author says:

         In 2016, we got Lemonade. It became really clear why somebody like                  Beyoncé would want to have this sort of arsenal that you get from Black              feminism because Black feminism helps you think about what happens                when you’re the most powerful chick in the game, you’re married to one of          the most powerful dudes, and he still won’t treat you right because he is              intimidated by your power…Black feminism can hold that Black girls have            hurts and pains that no one else has ever listened to (The Root, 2018).

Beyoncé released one of the most influential albums of 2016 expressing her right to feminism and has recently embraced Black culture and feminism simultaneously. Through privilege of her concerts, Superbowl performances, and triple platinum selling albums, Beyoncé continuously spreads her #BlackGirlMagic by giving voice to the international injustices that all women of color face.

           Just as a coin has two side, there is a counterpart to privilege, and that is oppression. Oppression is prejudice and discrimination expressed towards the marginalized or “disadvantaged” group (Launius & Hassel, 2015). It should be noted that there are oppressed people within an out-group (i.e. Black women in the original feminist movement and trans-people in the #BlackLivesMatter movement). Oppression is intentional limitation placed upon all that one can do. As a Black feminist, Maya Rupert expresses why she was always anti-princess until she got a closer look of what the role of a princess really means. The initial thought is that princesses are damsels in distress and are often caught in love triangles: cliché cliché. However, as Rupert closely examined the position of a princess, she discovered that Black girls were not fit for the “typical” criteria.

          She explains that White women suit stereotypes of weakness and helplessness which inevitably aligns them with the princess role, while Black women are stereotyped as naturally strong, animalistic, and their beauty has never been acknowledged nor celebrated in Western culture (Rupert, 2018). She goes on to say that, “…it hadn’t happened to me. I didn’t grow up feeling locked into the princess role, but rather locked out…Princess culture — the celebration of a fairy tale version of femininity and romance — damages girls because it offers a limited vision of the roles girls can play, but also because it offers a limited vision of which girls can play those roles” (Rupert, 2018). The author has not experienced the oppression of being the princess, rather she has experienced the limitation, or oppression, of automatically being ruled out of the role because her identity does not fit societal standards. However, there is a brightside to this nuance. Oppression in the media has changed just in the past few years. We now see Black princess: Princess Tiana from The Princess and the Frog, Princess Shuri from The Black Panther, and a real-life princess, Meghan Markle, newly crowned as the Duchess of Sussex. This ideology is a double-edged sword but, overall, gives empowerment to Black feminist even in a state of oppression.

          As mentioned earlier, Black feminism embodies a double identity. Generally, the identity itself represents intersectionality. It is a double stigmatization for the simple fact that one who identifies as such is Black and a woman. Launius and Hassel describe intersectionality as a multi- facet construction of an individual’s experience, meaning that we see an overlap in one’s identity: from race/ethnicity, to age, to gender, to sexual orientation, to socioeconomic status, and so on and so forth (2015). In an article written by Holland Cotter (2017), we see the intersectionality in being a Black female artist. In 1965, a board of artists from New York, called Spiral, worked together to produce propaganda for the Black Power movement. Out of 15 African American members, only one was a woman. Black women got so tired of being overshadowed and brushed off, that they branched out and started their own artistic movement called Where We At which essentially was the foundation and development of what Black feminism is today (Cotter, 2017). Defining themselves in the duality of their identity gave them space to voice their needs and requirements of the Black community as a whole. Through this concept, we see how Black women used their agency to overcome oppression. Additionally, we can make the connection that these Black feminists used Goffman’s approach of minstrelization to play into their privilege (Coston & Kimmel, 2012).  

         Society tends to forget the complex yet simple organization of being a Black feminist. The identity itself is not easy; to experience everyday with (un)intentional jabs at your identity is not easy. But our requests of society are simple; we simply desire having our voices heard and lifted in the name of justice, and to hold others accountable for our suffering. That is all. That is Black feminism. To be defined and socially constructed by society, to embody the intersectionality of gender and race, to be both privileged and oppressed, and to be an agent in which to embrace more is to understand Black feminism on a micro- and macro-level.

  References

Alexander-Floyd, N. G. (2012). Disappearing Acts: Reclaiming Intersectionality in the Social

Sciences in a Post-Black Feminist Era. Feminist Formations, 24(1), 1-25.

 Cohen, C. J., & Jackson, S. J. (2016). Ask a Feminist: A Conversation with Cathy J. Cohen on Black

Lives Matter, Feminism, and Contemporary Activism. Signs: Journal of Women in Culture & Society, 41(4), 775-792.

 Collins, P. H. (1989). The Social Construction of Black Feminist Thought. Signs: Journal of

Women in Culture & Society, 14(4), 745-773.

 Coston, B. M., & Kimmel, M. (2012). Seeing Privilege Where It Isn’t: Marginalized Masculinities

and the Intersectionality of Privilege. Journal of Social Issues, 68(1), 97–111. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1540-4560.2011.01738.x

 Cotter, H. (2017, April 20). To be Black, female, and fed up with the mainstream. The New

York Times. Retrieved from https://www.nytimes.com/2017/04/20/arts/design/review-we-wanted-a-revolution-black-radical-women-brooklyn-museum.html

 Cox, A. (2014). The Body and the City Project: Young Black Women Making Space, Community,

and Love in Newark, New Jersey. Feminist Formations, 26(3), 1-28.

 Deblaere, C., & Bertsch, K. N. (2013). Perceived Sexist Events and Psychological Distress of

Sexual Minority Women of Color: The Moderating Role of Womanism. Psychology of Women Quarterly, 37(2), 167-178.

 Foss, S. K., Domenico, M. E., & Foss, K. E. (2013). Gender Stories: Negotiating Identity in a Binary

World. Long Grove, IL: Waveland Press.

 Jackson, S. J. (2016). (Re)Imagining Intersectional Democracy from Black Feminism to Hashtag

Activism. Women's Studies in Communication, 39(4), 375-379.

 Jones, L. V. (2015). Black Feminisms: Renewing Sacred Healing Spaces. Affilia: Journal of Women

& Social Work, 30(2), 246-252.

 Launius, C. & Hassel, H., (2015). Threshold Concepts in Women’s and Gender Studies: Ways of

Seeing, Thinking, and Knowing. New York, NY: Taylor & Francis.

 Morton, B. (2016). ‘You can’t see for lookin’’: how southern womanism informs perspectives of

work and curriculum theory. Gender & Education, 28(6), 742-755.

 Nyachae, T. M. (2016). Complicated contradictions amid Black feminism and millennial Black

women teachers creating curriculum for Black girls. Gender & Education, 28(6), 786-806.

The Root. (2018, April 12). Breaking down Black feminism [Video file]. Retrieved from

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i5Sl_Fu47js

 The Root. (2018, March 6). Why feminism fails Black women [Video file]. Retrieved from

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t9KMtf_e_ew

 Rupert, M. (2018, May 12). How a Black feminist became a fan of princesses. The New York

Times. Retrieved from https://www.nytimes.com/2018/05/12/opinion/sunday/royal-wedding-princess-race.html

 Shaw, J. B. (2015). I don't wanna time travel no mo": Race, Gender, and the Politics of

Replacement in Erykah Badu's "Window Seat. Feminist Formations, 27(2), 46-69.

 Smith-Jones, S. E., Glenn, C. L., & Scott, K. D. (2017). Transgressive shades of feminism: A Black

feminist perspective of First Lady Michelle Obama. Women & Language, 40(1), 7-14.

[femmingway-blog]

“I Know You” : On visibility and support for LGBTQIA+ youth and children

Today I want to discuss welcoming spaces, supporting LGBTQIA+ children, and the importance of queer visibility.

My partner and I recently had the pleasure of being invited to speak at two churches in the small village in which I grew up. Long Reach United Church, and its sister congregation Westfield United Church, form part of the Two Rivers Pastoral Charge. They invited us to speak as part of their efforts in becoming an “Affirming with a capital A ministry” (as the minister put it when speaking to us about the invitation). As part of the Affirming Ministry application process, they have accepted the challenge to bring in people from various backgrounds and walks of life to discuss what it feels like to not always belong, and ways that they have felt welcome and belonging, so that the congregation may learn to do it more adeptly.

[Image description: A wooden table outside the Sanctuary of Long Reach United Church. On the table is a cream coloured cloth with floral embroidery in earth tones, a vase, guest book, pamphlets, and in the foreground of the photo is a sheet of cream paper with the words “Entering Guilt-Free Zone” in large, bold capital letters.] This was not only an incredibly admirable and humbling goal to consider, but we could not possibly have felt more welcomed, loved, and appreciated while we were there. The focus of our particular talk was on welcoming transgender people, and I touched on the subject matter of LGBTQIA+ children, particularly trans children.  It occurred to me as we spoke that I have a lot to say about finding ways to make sure that young queer people have something positive to look up to or envision for the future.  I think it is so important that no matter what, whenever we are discussing issues to do with LGBTQIA+ people, that we be aware that children hear these conversations happening. While children may not currently have the necessary vocabulary, understanding, and self-knowledge it takes to actually put a label to their identities or experiences, LGBTQIA+ adults will remember and look back on the times they were allowed to feel joyful and safe in their ways of expressing attraction and gender identity, rather than ashamed or abnormal.  Children may not have the language to identify the problem, but they do still know when something doesn’t feel quite right about themselves - and that feeling is a direct result of a world that has been built without them in mind.

These experiences will shape the ways they engage with those identities later in life, and how safe they will be able to feel in any given situation. In a world that is still so full of hostile stances on queer and trans people, it is difficult to feel secure in trusting that silence could mean quiet support; when one is accustomed to being excluded, they will rarely make the assumption that they are invited in.

In terms of consequences for a lack of support and visibility for queer and trans youth: according to the TransPulse research project done in Ontario , strong family and parental support can account for a 93% reduction in suicide attempts for a trans youth, who are already at an astronomically high risk for attempting suicide:

Consideration of suicide was common [among youth participants], and was reported by 35% of youth whose parents were strongly supportive and 60% of those whose parents were not strongly supportive. Particularly alarming is that among this latter 60%, nearly all (57%) had actually attempted suicide in the past year. In contrast, only 4% of those with strongly supportive parents attempted suicide. While 4% is still far too high, the impact of strong parental support can be clearly seen in the 93% reduction in reported suicide attempts for youth who indicated their parents were strongly supportive of their gender identity and expression. 

These numbers show that having a supportive family has an unfathomably deep connection to a desire to continue living for young children facing a scary and unfamiliar existence. They can be compared to the general national average, which shows that over the course of a lifetime, 14.7% of Canadians think about ending their own lives, and 3.5% ever make an attempt. 

Something that I mentioned to the Churches’ minister when we spoke to her last week about what to focus on in our talk was the issue of how to address someone who expresses the somewhat common the fear that their child may become gay or trans themselves. I believe that it is important to have honest discussions with people who express this kind of worry, to help them to identify where it may be coming from, and to question its foundations. We must also question any assumptions we hold that this kind of fear is founded in something inherently negative, unsupportive, or harmful, or that it something impossible to change. We must consider whether, for example, it founded on the fear of a hostile world’s effects on a child who grows up to adopt a non cis-heteronormative identity, or if it is a fear that is based in stereotypes and assumptions about what kind of person holds those kinds of identities. It is not enough to answer that question, because that doesn’t help anyone cope with or confront their fear; after naming it, we must consider what can be done to alleviate it. In the examples above, if it is the former, we have a responsibility to make the world safer for the child in question; if it is the latter, we have a responsibility to learn to engage with people as individuals, rather than walking embodiments of something we dislike or with which we are unfamiliar.

Support can come in the form of having conversations, and discussing the basic fact that other kinds of people, other kinds of families, other ways of seeing the world, all exist and can all simultaneously be genuine, beautiful, and worthwhile. When I considered what it meant to me to be given the chance to speak to a group of people about our perspective and experiences, I was struck by the idea that there have more likely than not been times when a young child listening to me - or a friend of mine, or another out and outspoken member of the community - has learned something more about themselves, or has potentially been given, for the first time, an opportunity to see a possible future as a queer person that isn’t frightening or lonely. Consider the way trans people  are represented on tv and in the news. As well as bisexual people, and queer people of all kinds. The choices available through the mainstream media are: extremely unstable, tragically lonely, dead, and/or a criminal of some sort. Choose at least one. And it’s usually dead. This ties into some work that my partner did a while back for a queer literary magazine called Vitality - the premise of the magazine was to publish creative content (stories, art, poetry) by and/or about queer people, and the only other criteria was that it had to be happy or positive - no sad endings, no deaths of one partner leaving the other completely alone, no “overcoming harassment” narratives, and no focus on deviance or criminality. The magazine eventually shut down, unfortunately, for lack of funding.

Consider our cultural narratives about LGBTQIA+ people, often the first exposure young LGBTQIA+ children have to a world where these kinds of people exist. Often, they are demonizing, and even when trying to supportive, they often rely on a form of tragedy porn that necessitates the death and sacrifice of a noble queer character who may serve as an example to us of the importance of acceptance. While it may be humbling and inspirational for onlookers, what we teach our children is that queer people can expect to grow up to be freaks or to be dead. We need to expect better for them.

This idea also ties into a number from a musical that is very close to my heart. Based on the illustrated strip-comic-style memoir of prolific lesbian cartoonist Allison Bechdel of the same name, Fun Home the musical is the story of a young girl growing into a woman who is forced to confront the very real effects of queer invisibility in our families and communities.  Alison Bechdel is also known for her famous comic strip Dykes to Watch out For and as the creator of the now-familiar “Bechdel Test” used to gauge a given film’s portrayal of women.

Bechdel’s memoir in Fun Home focuses on the reality she knew as a young girl growing up in Pennsylvania, never really feeling that she fit with the role that she was told to strive for - one of femininity, softness, attraction to men, and a desire to fit in. The book spends a good deal of time focusing on her feelings of confusion and alienation with the ideas that she was taught to value, when she felt that the things she liked were perfectly legitimate as well, especially when she saw young boys being encouraged to do the very things she was barred from. When Bechdel finally came out to her parents after going away to university, she was immediately confronted with the revelation that her father was also gay, and had been secretly (and clumsily) concealing his affairs with men (and sometimes young boys) from his family and peers for decades. Not only was this a complete surprise to Alison, but she was thrown into further chaos and confusion when her father took his own life only a few months later, before ever having the chance to truly speak to her about their unique yet similar experiences of living as an LGBTQIA+ person living in a world that denies their very existence.

The musical contains a scene between Allison at 43 and her younger self at age 7 or 8, which I consider to be one of the more powerful and moving vignettes I have ever seen. This scene stuck with me for a good deal of time after first seeing it, and comes to mind for me often. I had to do a good deal of unpacking in order to process the emotions it brought up to me, and I would like to share it. Here is a video copy of the scene being performed at the Tony awards in 2015.

This scene in particular is made up of so many subtle and important details, not the least of which is the strong sense of recognition and joy expressed by Young Al when she sees an adult exhibit a way of existing she hadn’t even known was viable until that moment. This scene is so important to me personally because it perfectly embodies the ideas behind why queer people know that visibility is important. We all know at this point that Allison does not know she is gay yet - she will not know this about herself for more than a decade to come. But she knows that there is something about her that she isn’t able to name, but with which she is familiar enough to recognize when she does see it in another person.

[Image description: two panels from the Fun Home book. The first panel shows a large, butch woman with short curly hair, a plaid button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up and tucked into jeans with a belt and a large ring of keys hanging from the belt. She is speaking with a server at a cafe who takes her order with tired, uninterested eyes. The woman stands with her back straight and her hands on her hips. In the background of the first panel, Young Al can be seen in a booth, looking right at the woman with her hands between her knees and a fixed, interested expression. She has a bob that goes to her chin, held out of her face with a barette. She wears a striped long-sleeved cotton shirt and blue jeans. Across from Al, her father looks back over his shoulders at the woman as well. The caption at the top of the panel reads: “I didn’t know there were women who wore men’s clothes and had men’s haircuts.” at the bottom of the panel, the caption reads: “But like a traveler in a foreign country who runs into someone from home -- someone they’ve never spoken to, but know by sight -- i recognized her with a surge of joy.” In the second panel, young Al and her father are facing each other in profile. they are sitting in the booth of the cafe but are shown from the neck up (Young Al) and shoulders up (her father). The Caption at the top reads “Dad recognized her too.” and there is a speech bubble in which her father says “Is THAT what you want to look like?” in a strong suggestion that she should not, in fact, want to look like that. ] Not only is this a charming demonstration of the intangible internal struggle that comes with having experiences that aren’t reflected in the stories and examples given to us in narratives our society tends to produce, but it is also one of a very few LGBT coming-of-age narratives that are not heavily reliant on sex and sexuality. In fact, it is the only one I can personally remember encountering that is not. This small scene, meant to represent just a few seconds’ worth of real time, is able to express a very intangible concept about identity, representation, and innate self-knowledge combined with a profound sense of alienation, all the while not relying on the imagery or act of sex - or even romantic attraction - just because the subject of the story is gay.

Ring of Keys is an excellent reminder to us that children pay attention to the world of adults; they do not live in a world that is separate from our own, nor are they sheltered from the values and prejudices we hold as adults. I think Young Al is an excellent reminder to all of us that we don’t need to have the “right” vocabulary, or any of the answers, in order to make children feel safe and values regardless of how they like to dress or what excites and pleases them. Making an effort to acknowledge and celebrate difference, including exposing children to different ways of being an adult, different ways of shaping a loving family, and different ways of structuring one’s life, can do and incredible amount of good to that child’s own self-esteem. At the end of the day, kids may not know exactly who they will grow up to be, but if they know that the possibilities are only limited by their creativity, and if they know that their families and communities will celebrate them as long as they keep a caring heart and are honest to themselves, they will inevitably be more equipped to handle the world they will travel through.

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[Image Description: The sanctuary at Long Reach United Church. The pews are a warm golden brown colour and sunlight streams through tall windows to the far right. The Church is empty and service has not yet started.]

On Sunday March 26th, a young child walked to the front of Westfield United Church’s sanctuary and helped an adult light a white pillar candle brightly banded by the seven colours of the rainbow. The first point of order in the church bulletin was to acknowledge that the church stands on unceded Wabanaki territory, and the microphone system and electronic display of readings and song selections demonstrated an active effort to include people with disabilities or impairments. From the moment we walked in the door, we were warmly welcomed with smiles, handshakes, and hugs from strangers and family friends alike. We heard from many adults who expressed a desire to find ways to show LGBTQIA+ people that they are welcomed and loved in their community. They spoke of wishing to find ways to show that support, to make it real and tangible to those who otherwise may not even be fully open about their identities.  The longer we spent there the clearer it became that this was an example that, while communities may not have as much access to information and resources they can clearly understand about LGBTQIA+ people, the first and most important step is seeking it out in the first place.