#who doesn't love a bit of bela angst with comfort at the end?

[valleynix]

okay but i can’t stop thinking about how bela would’ve apologized for attacking reader after going feral in episode 8 like ik my bby would’ve been so sad that she couldn’t control herself :(

SHE WOULD'VE BEEN, the poor baby :( it's why i included the line, "Bela watches you go sadly, almost like a lost and confused puppy that doesn’t quite understand that it did anything wrong." like... the part of her that's still gripping onto her humanity knows she did something wrong, but the lost-control part of her is kinda clouding her actions? if that makes sense

i may... have a small excerpt on what Bela would act like, assuming the Reader didn't go back, instead kinda unintentionally forcing her to deal with the consequences of her actions in the forest :(

(A/N: this is how the chapter was actually supposed to go, but yknow. things change in the writing process, but here's what Bela would have acted like, if the story continued from the Forest Scene)

You sigh in frustration and close the book you'd been trying to read for the last hour. You couldn't focus; you're not sure why, but your mind returned to the day's events, replaying everything over and over until you were sick to your stomach.

Cassandra had wrapped your leg as best she could, insisting you get plenty of rest so that it could actually heal. That wasn't really possible when you were left alone and worried if she would come back while still in her feral mood.

You know better than to think Bela would have ever hurt you intentionally. She wasn't in her right mind, her judgement clouded and control lost from the blood she'd drank. She doesn't see you as her prey, something she's assured you of time and time again.

Still, you can't help the way your heart drops to your stomach when you hear buzzing or someone snapping orders down the hall. Your mind is ready to reach for someone to help if the worst happens, but so far, she seems to have been on the complete other side of the castle since returning.

You flop against the pillows on your bed and stare up at the ceiling, mind wandering once more. You'd prefer if it didn't do that, but you suppose you don't really have a choice.

You don't get far in your mind and the contents within when you hear a quiet knock on your door. Snapping to attention almost immediately, you sit back up on your bed, eyes already on the door. Your room has darkened considerably from when you were first carried inside, but you can still see well enough. It's the only thing that keeps you a little sane.

"Little one?" comes Bela's voice, soft as it drifts into your ears. You stiffen, your heart picking up its pace as your fingers clench in the blankets beneath you. You don't know how you didn't feel her- "Might... I come in? I understand if you don't feel safe enough to allow it."

Oh.

Your jaw clenches as you look away from the door and toward the fireplace. At the very least, it seemed she was a little more sane now. She probably wouldn't tear out your throat anytime soon, but-

"The... door is open," you call out, sealing your fate in just four words. You swallow and look down at your lap. "It always is."

It takes a moment for the door to slowly creak, and you watch as Bela peeks her head in, eyes finding you immediately. She looks away just as quickly, her hood covering her features as she ducks her head and enters your room.

She hides something behind her back as she moves toward the fireplace, keeping whatever it is hidden from your sight. You watch her curiously, brows furrowing when she fidgets with the object.

"How's your leg?" she quietly asks. It seems as though she's intentionally keeping a lot of distance between the two of you, and part of you is thankful for it. "I... know sickle wounds can be difficult to heal."

Your eyes narrow at her as she refuses to look your way. "It's fine."

She nods and glances at the ceiling. Despite the light hitting her back and casting her entire body in darkness, you see the smeared mascara on her shadowed cheeks.

Oh, no-

"Good, that's..." She takes in a shaky breath, looking back down as she brings her hands away from her back. God, this is so awkward. You didn't think she could ever be such a thing, but here you were. "I'm sure the other books you have in here... You've read them, right? I-I have another one, it's... one I don't show to others."

Your head tilts at her, heart still pounding against your ribcage. You're in a confined space with a murderer-

But she's given you no reason to doubt her motives, not yet. Besides, before today's events, you actually liked being in her presence. Nothing has changed. She made a mistake, one she couldn't control, and you had survived.

She's still the same Bela you were quickly falling for, the one that kissed you like she was afraid you would shatter in her hands if she let you go for even a second.

You trust her.

"That's not why you came here, is it?"

She finally meets your gaze for a few moments, dull eyes searching yours. She looks back down at the book in her hands, shaking her head. "No, I... I came to apologize."

She takes a deep breath, looking back up at you as she takes a step forward-

You try to resist, but some part of your mind forces you to flinch away as she steps forward.

Bela freezes, eyes widening as she watches you, as your heart thunders in your chest.

She clenches her jaw and looks down at the floor, fingers tightening around the book in her hands. Her shoulders shake, breath shuddering as she releases it-

Your mind reaches for hers, just for a brief moment. You think it means to comfort her, to pull her away from a point of no return. You hear her, every thought as it speeds through her mind at a pace you struggle to keep up with.

Your fault-

Did this-

Supposed to be afraid-

Monster.

Killer.

Freak-

"Lady Bela," you softly say, shifting your body toward her. She tenses again, eyes flicking up to meet yours. "It's... I didn't mean to. I'm not afraid of you."

That's a lie, but it's what she needs to hear right now.

"Can I..." She sets the book down on the table in front of your fireplace, all tension releasing from her bones as she does so. She merely fidgets with her gloves as she watches you again, clearly debating what to say next. "May I sit with you?"

Yeah, this is the Bela you adore to little pieces.

You nod and shift, lightly patting the empty spot beside you. Her eyes light up at the gesture, and she slowly moves toward the other side of your bed, ensuring you can see every part of her as she sits down on the edge, her back turned toward you.

She brings a hand up, running it through her hair as she lowers her hood. "Today was..." She shakes her head, picking at the hem of her glove again. Nervous habit? "I'm... I'm sorry, little one. I should have better control over myself, over that side I try to keep from you. I didn't intend to..."

The more she speaks, the more her voice shakes. Your heart cracks as you listen to her, fingers clenching in the blanket again.

She shifts and shakes her head again, bowing it. "I understand not trusting me, and I will do what it takes to ensure your safety in the future. I won't ask that you forgive me; I... I don't deserve it, not after what I did."

You frown at her back. "My lady-"

"I try so hard to be like Mother, and I... If I can't even control my urges around someone I care for, how could I ever expect to run things around the castle? It needs someone that can-"

"Listen to me-"

"-properly keep their self-control on a tight leash, and I know I'm not- You can find someone so much better-"

You move toward her, your hand resting on her back, right between her shoulder blades. She stiffens at the touch, head snapping to you as she watches you with wide eyes. You see the tear tracks on her face, smearing her mascara until it dripped down her cheeks.

"It's not your fault," you murmur. You try to bring her back from that place she would struggle to return from. Gently, you lift your hand to her cheek, cupping it as your thumb swipes over the tears staining her pale skin. She nearly sobs at the simple affection you give her, lips twitching down like she wants to cry- "Really, I'm fine. Mistakes happen, and I know you didn't want to do it. So, it's... It'll be fine."

Her eyes flick away from you as she moves to lower her head onto your shoulder, still keeping her movements slow. Your hand slides into her hair as you hold her head against you, and upon seeing you don't flinch away from her this time, her stiff and tense limbs melt against you.

She wraps her arms beneath your shoulders to grip onto the back of your clothing, and her head settles against your own as a sob escapes her, fingers clenching tighter on you. Your other arm encases her and holds her as she cries, telling you apology after apology until her words are nothing more than incoherent mumbles.

Eventually, you move her to sit a little more comfortably as you lean against your pillows again. She freezes at the action, the fear of you leaving her clear in her teary eyes, but when you open your arms again, she climbs back into your embrace almost immediately.

"I'm so sorry, little one," she whispers, her lips against the hollow of your throat. You bring your hand back to her hair, nails gently scraping against her scalp. A few of her bugs buzz at the sensation, crawling gently on your skin as you hold her tight, lips against the top of her blonde hair. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry-"

You shush her, tugging her a little closer. Her head rests on your chest, her ear right over your heart beating against your ribcage. One of her hands idly draws shapes on your shoulder, and her other rests somewhere under your neck.

Her cries quiet, eventually, and her breathing evens out soon after. Her chest rises and falls rhythmically, and once her hand stills on your shoulder, you know she's fallen asleep.

She may be your protector in most other circumstances - standing tall and fearless as she defends you against anything willing to test their luck - but, just for tonight, you can be her protector.

There were certainly worse ways to fall asleep.