#who cant ask for affection normally

[911whatsyoursanity]

eddie makes everything weird, like not in a horrific way, but like instead of joining his boyfriends on the couch cuddling like he wants to, he just stares with cow eyes at them from across the room cause hes second, triple, quadtriple guessing himself

buck and tommy are just waiting to see if he'll actually come over by himself this time. especially since they're on his couch

[lighthouseshepard]

.

[okcoolthanks]

I feel like my family’s getting sick of me

[phagodyke]

trying to watch all of us strangers and it's just making me cry really hard this is why I don't do romance movies WAH

[simplyreveries]

hi sorry for my English, but can I ask the boys to overblot with a s/o who likes to mark their face with lipstick marks please

lipstick marks; overblot boysss

aaaaa i love this idea so much, thank you 😭😭

this is perfect because i have an obsession with lipstick<3

riddle rosehearts

it doesn't matter how long you two have been together he still gets so flushed after any kiss from you. you have such an effect on him, it's crazy. so, he doesn't even notice the lipstick stains left on him- he only learned when he heard ace snickering about something and commenting on his left cheek.

he was so flustered by that and learned to always check his face after you kiss him, he has a status to keep up as dorm leader!! he doesn't want to be improper or anything...or hear all the teasing from the others. but he does secretly enjoy it that you love to give them to him.

whenever you pepper his faces with kisses and he has to use something like a handkerchief to rub it off, he'll be all red in the face and mutter something like "oh dear..." under his breath as he worriedly goes to a mirror. but you've sworn you've caught him smiling a little, on multiple occasions.

leona kingscholar

when you come up to him and press kisses on his face whenever he’s asleep and trying to nap- he’ll groan tiredly and tell you not too because he’s too tired to wipe off all your “damn lipstick” right now. (let’s be REAL leona) you usually see a small smirk on his face with his eyes closed though. leona will seem even irritated if you'd stop.

he’ll roll his eyes when he wipes his lips with the back of his hand and sees it stained with the color of your lips and pull you back in for another. by the end of it his lips are smudged around with the shade of yours. its definitely a sight to see if it's a pinkish color.

leona doesn’t actually really care, I mean a lot like the others he’ll make sure to get it off before going out or something… though there may have been a few times he’s forgotten or missed it because he is usually half-asleep when you’re smooching him.

azul ashengrotto

every time you kiss and smooch him, he's so smitten, his brain cant function and he can't think of really anything or anyone else. in the privacy of his office are his favorite moments when you come to check on him and give him affection. this man is putty in your hands idc!!

so needless to say, the first time this happened to him- he doesn't even notice, like riddle. he'll be in such a dreamy mood and state while he does his paperwork. when jade comes to him about something, he immediately covers his mouth with his gloved hand trying to hide the amusement he clearly is feeling when seeing azul like that. he doesn't even tell him because he thinks its funny, jade only said "ah i didnt notice (name) was here earlier..."

azul was confused but brushed it off because he deemed this behavior normal from the twins. azul only learned the hard way when he heard floyd who couldn't keep it to himself.

every time you kiss him azul tries to remember to, but once again he's stuck on thinking about you. when he looks at himself in the mirror to wipe it off, he's got such a stupid grin on his face. his favorite spot to see where its left is right under his mouth where his beauty mark is.

jamil viper

he feels the lipstick left on his face usually and places his fingers against it and has the smuggest smile... he loves it honestly. within the privacy of him in you, when he feels it smudged and left on his face it makes him weak. he pretty much doesn't forget to rub it off still, but sometimes you may see the reminiscent color left on his face.

he oddly enjoys putting your lipstick on for you, jamil would do it for you if you ask him. he likes choosing his favorite colors that you have to put on you. i mean, there's also the perk of him getting kissed as a thanks so he's not complaining.

if you did it out in public, well he will let out a small huff and discreetly tries to wipe it off hoping no other dormmates or god forbid kalim saw him with it, he'll only tease him with mushy things about how cute him and you are together. he pretends like he doesn't like them, so it is rather funny to see. he just doesn't want to appear like that in front of others.

vil schoenheit

he literally does the same thing to you ALL the time. only he chuckles and coos while rubbing it off of your face gently. whenever you two are done kissing both of your faces are covered in each other's lipstick. he personally really likes the look of you like that.

he usually looks into his compact mirror from his uniform, he laughs saying something like "oh my, look at what you've done, dear." like he just didn't leave the same exact thing on your face as well.

vil 100% buys you more and more lipstick... like literally pick what you want. he'll give you the best and prettiest brands, he loves seeing you in them anyway. he'll be amused and point out its a brand he bought for you as he wipes it off his cheek carefully. he also knows exactly what colors would suit and compliment you the best.

idia shroud

idia was a huge ball of nerves when it came to kissing you at first, he's had zero experience, and he feels insecure about his lips- as they're chapped and scarred a bit from him biting his lips out of anxiety. you got him some vaseline and flavored lip balm for him, but he only likes it when you put it on his lips for him.

the tips of his hair always gets all pink, like his groovy card in the ghost marriage event- when you kiss him, and he sees the lipstick stains imprinted on his skin. he is flustered beyond belief, but he always craves more from you- once you start, he cannot seem to get enough of you. idia gives you this toothy grin and wipes them off with the sleeve of his jacket but whenever you get red lipstick on him, and he does that it just ends up looking like blush on his pale skin.

love love loves any flavored ones like lip gloss you use that taste sweet. definitely use them because it'll always work on idia. you literally make this man dizzy and lightheaded with your lips- he doesn't seem to care about the lipstick getting on him one bit when it's the two of you. he'll only feel embarrassed if you give him a small one if you're out and cover his face nervously.

malleus draconia

malleus kisses you so much that his own lips turn the color of your lipstick. not only does it attack his whole face, but you've got his lips in that shade too, he only notices when you point it out and laugh. he'll smile and hum, only to lean in for more from you.

its funny because if you're trying to give him a kiss- with your height difference you'd end up getting a stain on his neck- at best. he thinks it's amusing as he chuckles. he'll give you a real kiss then. malleus is honestly lowkey proud to have them on him, he sees it as a sign of your affection and love from you so why wouldn't he like it? he has this dumb smirk on his face when you've got the darkest shade and you kiss him, it's the most visible on him of course.

like vil, he'll happily supply you with however many you want. malleus loves seeing you wear lipstick, it's really his favorite thing. but as i've mentioned he prefers dark shades on you the best out of them all, for sure.

[jennasslut33]

Keep quiet..

Warnings: 18+, Lorraine x Fem!reader, smut, mommy kink, praise, fingering, pussy slapping, car sex. MDNI!!!

It was a normal day as usual for you, Lorraine, Maxine, R.J, Wayne, Bobby-Lynne and Jackson.

You we're all finishing up one of the scenes from the movie that you've all been filming, for everyone it was pretty normal for them, but you. You seemed pretty uncomfortable with the whole situation, so did Lorraine.. When you were all filming, you and lorraine looked at each other, both of you looking pretty disgusted and uncomfortable, but you thanked the lord that it ended. You had one of the mics that Lorraine holds up, Lorraine had a mic as well, R.J has the camera and Bobby-Lynne as always is smoking a cigarette as well as Jackson. Maxine is walking with Wayne and you're all bored so, Maxine decides to break the awkward silence, "did you all wanna maybe.. go into town?" Wayne answers, "sure Maxine, does anyone else wan' come along?" he asks, looking around the group of people. "uhm.. i-i'll come..?" you say nervously, because of the awkward scene you just had to watch and shoot, you're just thanking the lord that it wasn't you who was riding Jackson's cock and that it was Bobby-Lynne, as always. "alright, what about you two?" Maxine asked Lorraine and R.J. You look back at them, however, you cant help but admire Lorraine, how her dark wavy hair goes in front of her shoulders, her deep, dark brown eyes, the freckles that run along her cheeks and nose, her perfectly sharp jawline, her perfectly plump maroon coloured lips, you cant help but imagine what it'd be like to kiss them. You have always despised R.J, and how he doesn't show Lorraine enough attention, love, affection, etc. You wish that you could give her all of the love, affection and attention she needs. Lorraine has always been a bit quiet, she looks so innocent. But you snap out of that thought when R.J speaks. "Yeah, we'll come." Lorraine speaks up right after him. "yeah, its pretty boring with nothin' to do on this farm anyway." You swear you can feel yourself getting weak at the knees at her sweet, southern accent, you go crazy for it every time she speaks, which is very rarely. "Y/N, you coming?" Bobby-Lynne asks. "o-oh.. uhm.. yeah.. yeah I'm coming." you say as you walk to the back of the van and get in it. Wayne and Maxine in the front seats, Wayne in the drivers seat, Maxine in the passenger seat. Bobby-Lynne and Jackson are right up against the Driver and Passenger seats, talking to Wayne and Maxine. Lorraine and R.J sitting next to each other on the left side of the van together. Then there's just.. you. you sit on the right side of the van in the back corner closest to the back doors of the van, giving R.J dirty looks as he's being oblivious to anything around him, since he's looking back at the footage from the dirty scene you all just had to film. You look over at Lorraine, you see how she looks a bit.. upset, bored and just looks a bit pissed at the same time. If it was because of R.J, you don't blame her. He never pays attention to her, he's always been so fixated on this dumb movie that both, you and Lorraine don't even want to be apart of. You then get the courage to speak up, your voice is a bit quiet, with your southern accent, you speak up to Lorraine "hey.. uhm.. L-Lorraine, i just wanted to ask, are you alright..?" She looks at her and her facial expression changes completely, she smiles softly at you, she sits up and looks you right in the eyes. "Yeah, I'm alright, why do you ask?" ugh.. that face.. the smile.. the eyes.. the voice.. It drives you absolutely insane every time you hear it. You feel butterflies in your stomach when she smiles at you, her deep, dark brown eyes looking into yours. and you finally speak up after snapping yourself back to reality. "oh i was uh.. just.. just wonderin' you.. uhm.. you didn't seem alright, that's all." you say in a quiet tone. She speaks again as she smiles at her sweetly, "oh, no, I'm alright Y/N, thats just my face i guess." she chuckles and R.J of course has to ruin the mood. "Lorraine, can you shut up for two seconds? god, im trying to focus and i cant with you yappin' in the back."

Lorraine looked at R.J. She looked down and said sheepishly “o-oh.. I’m.. im sorry, R.J—“ R.J put his hand in front of her face, cutting her off “I said shut your damn trap. God, you don’t know how or when to listen do you?”

You were seething quietly. You hated the way he spoke to her, your fists subconsciously clenching that your knuckles turned white. you were about to say something until Bobby-Lynne exclaimed “oh! There’s a bar up here, let’s go!” ugh, great. if they drank, you’d be the one to drive, it happened every time.

“do y’all wanna go have a drink?” Wayne asks, his eyes looking at everyone in the back of the van. “We’ve been filming all dang day. We deserve a drink or two, Wayne.” Bobby-Lynne says, sounding a bit irritated. “Alright, Bobby-Lynne, we’ll go.” Wayne said. “I’m up for a drink.” Maxine said, lifting her head from the magazine she was looking at. “Yeah, me too. All this work, I need a drink as well.” Jackson says, taking a drag of his joint.

R.J had agreed as well. You weren’t a big drinker, you’d only drink every now and then. But it was very rarely you drank. Bobby-Lynne and Maxine looked back at you and Lorraine. “Y’all gonna come have a drink?” Maxine asks, her eyes darting between you and Lorraine. “o-oh uhm.. n-no.. no thank you.. im alright..” you say shyly, and you fiddled with the ring you had on your index finger. “Alright, what about you? you comin’?” Bobby-Lynne asked Lorraine, who looked up from her hands and she cleared her throat.

“oh, uhm.. no, im alright. Are.. Y/N and I allowed to stay in the van while y’all are gone?” she asked, looking at Wayne. “uhh..” he looked at Maxine and then back at Lorraine through the review mirror. He sighs “yeah, fine. whatever, go through that sweet footage we’ve got while you’re both here.”

As much as Lorraine didn’t want to, she wouldn’t have much of a choice. She wasn’t gonna do it anyway. she just nodded in response, and you hung up blankets on the windows, because the sun was way too hot. There were only windows in the front of the van, and on the back doors of the van.

. . .

You finally stopped out the front of a bar, because the one that Bobby-Lynne pointed out was closed due to being short on staff. everyone got out, except for you and Lorraine. All windows were covered by the blankets you put up, you and Lorraine were sitting quietly in the back of the van, you were just laying down, Lorraine was just sitting there as she looked at her hands.

It was quiet for a bit. You were starting to get a bit hot, so you removed your jacket. You were wearing a low cut shirt with dark grey pants. The shirt had half of your tits spilling out of it. You felt like that if you had taken your jacket off with everyone else in the car, you’d be awkward. You laid back down across the van, your eyes closed that you didn’t even notice Lorraine staring at you, biting her bottom lip slightly.

“Nice shirt..” Lorraine said, her dark brown eyes not leaving you for a second. Your eyes opened and you looked at her “oh, thanks.” You said a bit shyly, a faint blush on your cheeks as you answered. She nodded, and as you were laying there, you felt a hand on your abdomen.. your eyes shot open and you looked at Lorraine.

“d-do you.. do you need anything..?” you asked, a bit flustered feeling her long, slender fingers slowly curling and uncurling on the skin of your abdomen as she looked at you. “hm.. no, just looking.” she said softly, her deep dark brown eyes looking your body up and down. “Just looking?? then why is your hand on my stomach?” you asked, looking a bit confused and flustered.

There was silence for a while, then you heard Lorraine breathe in, about to speak. “How good are you at staying quiet?” your eyes widen, what kind of question was that? and why did it ever even come to her mind? you spoke up quietly. “u-uhm.. i-im.. im not sure.. w-why do you ask..?” Lorraine smirked. she traveled her hand up your stomach, across your beasts and then cupped the side of your face in her hand. “You wanna test that out, sweetheart?” she said, almost purring. you sat up, but she pushed you back down and held your thighs.

“L-Lorrraine.. what’re you doing..?!” you exclaimed in a whisper. Lorraine pulled you closer to her by your thighs, prying them open. “What does it look like im doing? we’re gonna see how quiet you can be for me, baby.” She purred, her fingers trying to undo the button on your pants.

“I- I didn’t.. I didn’t think you were doing this kind of thing..” you say nervously, Lorraine’s hands now slowly pulling your pants down, and off of your body, leaving you in black lace panties and that white low cut shirt. You whined pathetically as you felt her fingers rubbing against your clothed clit, and she looked at you.

“Keep quiet for me, baby..”

she whispered. Moving her fingers faster against you. A soft gasp left your lips when you felt her push your panties to the side, her fingers teasing at your dripping pussy. “hm.. so wet for me, aren’t you?” She said, in almost a purr. She then settled between your thighs, her face so close to your aching cunt. Lorraine then tore your panties off of your body, and tossed them aside. She then held your thighs tight against her shoulders, and she buried her face between your thighs, her tongue lapping around your dripping hole as she sucked on your clit.

“L-Lorraine.. fuck.. mmh..” you moaned. Lorraine made you look at her while she ate you out. You couldn’t handle eye contact so, you looked away. She slapped your pussy, making you look at her again after you whined.

Lorraine the bought two fingers up to your entrance, teasing at it. The tips of her fingers circling around your sopping, aching cunt.

“P-Please..” you whine, looking at her as she smirked. “please what, honey? use your words.” she said teasingly, her fingers still continuing to tease at your aching hole. “please.. mommy.. fingers.. mmh..” you whine, your chest rising and falling rapidly as you breathe heavily.

“Good girl..” with that, Lorraine slammed two fingers into you, curling them as she hits that soft spongy spot inside of you, making you squeal and she went at a brutal pace, pumping her fingers in and out of your dripping cunt.

“don’t stop..” you moan, looking down at her as she sucked on your clit and kept her fingers pumping. You two were still in the back of the van, parked next to a street, in front of a bar, where the others were.

“Are you gonna cum for me, baby?” Lorraine asks, taking her mouth off of your clit for a moment. her fingers didn’t stop, you clenched around Lorraine’s fingers, so close to your orgasm as she kept going. “please.. fuck— mommy.. can I cum?? please.. please let me cum..” you begged, whimpering as you were on the brink of your orgasm.

“not until I say so. hold it, you can do it.” Lorraine says in almost a commanding tone, making you whine desperately. You were needy, extremely desperate for a release. “please.. p-please— mommy, I can’t..” you say through moans and whines.

Lorraine chuckled and took her mouth off of your clit again. “yes, you can. Hold it for mommy, understand?” “If you cum and I haven’t said you could, you won’t be able to cum at all.” she said her voice almost an order, like she was ordering you not to cum. All you could do was give a pathetic whimper. “answer me, do you understand?” “Say something, Y/N. Or I’ll leave you edged.” She hissed, trying to get you to answer her. All you could do was let out small words. “I— mmh.. ye-yes..” you said through heavy breaths and soft moans. “Good girl.” Lorraine said, latching her mouth back onto your clit, her hand travelling up under your shirt, her fingers teasing your nipples as she had her hand underneath your shirt and bra.

After a good 9 minutes, tears of overwhelming pleasure streamed down your face, your legs shaking, keeping yourself quiet because you didn’t want people walking past the van to know what was going on. Lorraine saw how you were shaking, nothing but a trembling mess under her touch.

“do you wanna cum, pretty?” Lorraine asked, almost as if she was being sarcastic about it. A moaned out sob left your lips as you spluttered out words “ye-yes.. please..” you beg, you’re so done, and you need that sweet feeling of relief leave you. “Cum for me, baby. Cum on my tongue.” She said as she withdrew her fingers from your pussy, making you whine, feeling empty. She then kept her mouth on you, licking and sucking at your throbbing clit, and aching hole.

Once she said you could cum, you didn’t hesitate. Your back arching off the van seats, your thighs squeezing Lorraine’s head to tight her ears started ringing, your hands gripping the bedsheets that were laid out across the van seats so tight that your knuckles turned white as you screamed with pure pleasure and relief. Lorraine cleaned up every drop of your sweet sweet nectar, licked you clean. She then licked her fingers and smirked at you.

“You did so good for me, baby. you were such a needy slut, weren’t you?” she said, her hand around your throat as you nodded “ye-yes.. mommy..” you said through pants as your eyes were hooded. “Good girl. You’re a slut, my slut. Do you understand me?” she said in a possessive tone. You nodded your head in response and she got you dressed just in time. The moment she pulled you onto her lap, her arms around your waist, your face buried into her neck, and your thighs bracketing hers. Everyone had come back to the van.

“What’s up with, Y/N?” Jackson asks as he jumps in the back of the van. “Nothin’ she’s just sleepin’” Lorraine says as if she didn’t just fuck you in the back of the van.

She then whispered in your ear.

“Just wait till later tonight..”

[ninyard]

I don't know if you've taken this into account for your trial posts, but if the prosecution requested Kevin's/the house's phone record that day they could found out he called Wymack before the police. And that could not look Good especially with his deadpan 911 call

i had thought about this and i don’t think i’m going to mention it but it’s SUCH a striking point i actually love it. i wasn’t going to bring it up purely because i’m not putting kevin on the stand, but it’s such a good reason as to why i could put him on the stand. like perfect kevin day trying to explain why he’d seen a dead body and called wymack before anything else? and how that phone call went as well? what if they played it?

-

“Take a breath and spit it out, kid.” Wymack’s voice is getting more and more strained with every second that passes and Kevin just can't get the words dislodged from his throat. How could he, when all he could smell was blood, and alcohol, when all he could hear was Andrew’s voice in his head saying tell me again how I'm too unbalanced to understand normal brotherly affection and love.

“Something happened.” Kevin tries not to watch as Nicky’s parents pass him, faces pale and hands shaking. He can’t hold himself together, when he opens his mouth to explain, all that falls out is a muted sob accompanied by, “Oh, fuck, Coach, it’s really fucking bad.”

Kevin winced as he heard Nicky start to sob somewhere upstairs, and David must have heard it too, because his voice was much more serious when he asked, "Who's hurt?"

It's the perfect question, almost, but that doesn't make it easier to answer.

"Andrew."

“How hurt are we talking?”

“I don’t know.” Kevin’s chest is getting tight. Not right now. Not now. He takes in a shaky deep breath, as much air as he can muster. He continues, “Somebody’s dead.”

“Fuck, Kevin, who’s fucking dead?” He sounds angry. No, he’s worried, he’s terrified. Which one of my foxes is it?

“I don’t know.” He repeats. He watches as Nicky’s parent fuss over something in the kitchen. “I don't know, I don’t know.”

“Dead, how?” David says, before he says something, presumably to Abby. Kevin's breath comes in and out of his lungs in painful, jagged intervals. This is too much, he can't do this, he can't do this. “Kevin, I need you to talk to me.”

“Aaron.” He cant say the words. “Somebody was- oh my god.” He feels his chest tighten, and tighten, and tighten. A twisting stomach accompanied by a pounding chest and fuck, the smell of blood, and alcohol, and-

“Breathe.” David says again, like it’s really that simple. “You have to tell me what’s going on so I can help you, kid.”

“Call Betsy.” It’s the only thing he can think to say. But when he thinks of Bee, he thinks of Andrew, he thinks of the body lying upstairs. He thinks of- “I don’t know what to do, David.”

There’s a moment of silence, and David is forced to listen to Kevin’s quiet hyperventilating. “Is Aaron dead?”

Kevin almost laughs. “No.”

Wymack's sigh is gentle, but louder than anything else, the sound weighing on Kevin's shoulders like the secret he felt like he was keeping, the secret he felt like he couldn't share. It's not exasperation, no, his annoyance is not directed at Kevin's panic or inability to find the words. It's worry, it's fear, it's being too used to those kinds of phone calls. It's too soon after Allison's Seth is dead, Coach, and I don't know what I'm supposed to do.

“Is Andrew? Is Neil?”

“No.” He says. The words are right there, he tries to swallow them down hard, but they keep getting stuck in his throat. Just say it. Just say it.

"Nicky?" He's getting impatient. But Kevin knows it's not directed at him. It can't be. "Work with me, Kev. Just say it."

"Andrew's been...r-" The tears that threaten to spill out swell in his eyes, the tightness at the back of his throat manifesting in a sigh, an exhale of breath that he had been holding for far too long. Kevin shut his eyes so he couldn't look at Nicky's parents, and following a deep breath that he hoped would fix everything, he says, "Andrew's been raped, and Aaron killed the guy that did it."

The silence that follows goes on for hours, for far too long. For long enough that Kevin has to check that David hasn't hung up on him, for long enough that he starts to think about it all, all over again.

"Jesus Christ, Kevin." is all that David can muster, in this voice Kevin has only heard once before, as he sat sobbing in his hotel room with no plan and no reason to live. He stumbles through a hundred different questions until he lands on, "Have you called the cops yet?"

"No." Kevin admits with a guttural sob. He hasn't even thought about it. Well, he did, in some way, but his fingers hadn't even hesitated over David's contact number. It hurts so badly, all of these feelings, the image of Andrew, the image of Andrew, the image of Andrew. His protector. The person who kept him safe. This was never supposed to happen to him. This can't have happened. Not to him.

"Jesus fucking Christ, kid, get off the fucking phone," David's yell snaps him out of it. "Get it together, take a real deep breath, and call 911. Then call me back afterwards. Fuck, Kevin."

"Okay, Coach." Kevin says, as seriously as he can manage. Call 911 - An order, something to follow. Something to do. Something to be good at, to pretend for, a reason to shove his panic behind a plastic mask for a couple of minutes.

"Okay." Coach agrees and lets out another deep, hurt sigh. Another second or two pass, but Kevin feels frozen in place. The phone is stuck to his ear, the electronic hum and buzz the only thing keeping him from going back to the reality of Nicky's parent's house.

"Are you okay?" Coach asks, and Kevin shuts his eyes to inhale, before exhaling out anything that hurts. He's switched off, untouchable, numb and unfeeling. Kevin isn't there, inside of himself anymore. He can come back later.

"No," Kevin says, but it doesn't feel like the truth anymore, his voice flat, the back of his free hand wiping away a tear that had found its way out of his eyes. "But I'll call you back."

"Okay," Coach says again. "You better."

The phone call ends with three consecutive beeps. Kevin pulls it away from his ear, and stares for too long at the 911 he's typed into the keypad.

Do what you have to do.

Be who they need you to be.

"Hello, 911, what's your emergency?"

[prideprejudce]

Also kind of related to the last alicent ask-- how objectively funny is it that the targaryens pulled alicent kicking and screaming into their weird blood purity incest tangle. For them, having uncle fathers and brother husbands and just generally blurring all the lines between family and romantic interest is sooooo normal. Yes its done massive damage to their psyches as we've seen with daemon in particular- but its passé to them at this point. For Alicent its breaking her BRAIN.

Like, Alicent who's deeply religious in a very westerosi faith and has classic nuclear family adjacent issues in contrast- overbearingly strict father, dead pedestalized mother to emulate, estranged sibling- is just SHOVED into the targaryen familial polycule and told to figure it out.

She keeps trying to bind herself to westerosi gender roles for comfort and safety, but bc of the targs she's now married an father/uncle figure, the girl who was supposed to be her sister growing up is now her daughter AND shes in love with her, her children are basically her siblings, and ALSO she's two of their mother in law(s?). Throw in the desperate parentification of aemond bc its not like viserys is helping her raise these kids-and its fucking her up!!! how is she supposed to have any sense of self when every role she would define herself by in a patriarchal westerosi culture has been fractured into twisted branches!!

It spiders into her other rationships too!! Her father otto has been treating her like both a daughter AND a pseudo wife, criston her lover keeps trying to assert himself over her choices in a very fatherly condescending way, and her brother gwayne is out in oldtown fathering her third son.

I sent an ask a while ago about how the tragedy of the alicent/rhaenyra/aegon triangle is that its an allegory for how targs just cant acclimate to westeros at all and end up breaking their dynasty AND the country by trying to force their culture to fit anyways, and i think you were so right in ur response that its not just rhaenyra/aegon/alicent who are the allegory but its ALL the targs in relation to alicent thats the allegory- they just cannot work with Alicent/westeros while she/its trapped in the current westerosi culture.

its hilarious bc it really is like having ONE catholic nun in an insane echo chamber hedonism cult and then being like 'why are you going insane bc of the incest and sex we're so over it it hasn't effected us whatsoever maybe if you try the kool aid you'll chill out' while she's desperately pretending none of this is happening and she's Not Involved.

this is a great point, and if you also go back to her as a child saying "you targaryens do have very queer customs" with noticeable disgust on face, and flash forward a decade later where she's marrying two of her children together in typical targaryen incest practices. I wish they had explored this more in the show and looked into how she feels about this currently, but I can't imagine she feels too great about it, and it's probably the reason why she went ULTRA religious with a five pound star medallion almost hanging from her neck. she wants at least some repentance for playing along in targaryen incest rituals, which goes against everything she was raised to believe

and like you mentioned, if you look close enough, almost EVERY relationship that alicent has is majorly twisted by either targaryen customs or her own stunted growth from being a child bride. she's now a grown woman who still has the mind of a 15 year old and is trying to navigate a civil war that she helped ignite in her rage and jealousy over her own private hell for last decade. she also swings from a protective parent role to having an almost eldest sibling like relationship with her kids who desperately crave more motherly affection from her that she is just not able to give (because she cant completely seal off her deep down resentment of them)

and to top it off, the purest relationship in her life (rhaenyra) with genuine love was also twisted into a familial one through an arranged marriage. if you also headcanon her possible romantic feelings for rhaenyra, you can times three that trauma on your score card as well

alicent literally was forced into the targaryen world of the snake eating its own tail (reduced to a bargaining chip for otto) with decades of inbreeding and family infighting for power and control and was told to play nice with them. no wonder she's out in the woods wandering around and dissociating lmao

[skywalker1dream]

Title: Love, Laughter, and Appendicitis

carlos sainz x reader

note: is 4:30am and i cant sleep so i was like why not write something and here it is...hope you like it, hope you are having a good day or night, dont forget to drink water and eat healthy...:)

Warnings: Fluff, Mention of Medical Procedures, Mild Language. thats it, i think?

-------------------------------

You sit in the stiff, uncomfortable chair beside Carlos' hospital bed, fingers entwined with his. The sterile smell of antiseptic fills the air, mingling with the faint scent of the flowers you'd brought earlier in the day. The rhythmic beeping of the heart monitor is a constant reminder of where you are and why you're here.

Carlos had been rushed to the hospital with a sudden bout of appendicitis. The surgery had gone smoothly, but the waiting had been torture. Now, as he lay recovering, his handsome face was relaxed in sleep, the worst of your worries were behind you. But you couldn’t help the anxiety that lingered, your eyes tracing the lines of his face, searching for any sign of discomfort.

Carlos Sr., his father, sits on the other side of the bed, a comforting presence in the otherwise clinical room. He’s been through this before, his calm demeanor a stark contrast to your still-frayed nerves.

Carlos stirs, his eyes fluttering open. You lean forward, your heart leaping as he wakes. His brown eyes are glazed, a side effect of the pain medication, but they light up when they find yours.

“Mi amor,” he slurs, a lazy smile spreading across his lips. “Did you bring the giraffes?”

You blink in confusion, glancing at Carlos Sr., who chuckles softly, his eyes twinkling with amusement. “Giraffes, Carlos?” you ask gently, brushing a strand of hair from his forehead.

“Sí, giraffes,” he insists, trying to nod but wincing slightly. “I wanted to ride one. In the… in the… where are we?”

“We’re in the hospital, love,” you say softly, squeezing his hand. “You had surgery, remember?”

He frowns, then his face lights up again. “Oh! The appendicit… appendici-thingy. I remember. It’s gone now, right?”

“Yes, it’s gone,” you reassure him, biting back a smile. “You’re going to be just fine.”

Carlos Sr. shakes his head, laughing quietly. “He’s never been good with pain meds,” he says, his voice filled with affection.

Carlos looks over at his father, his expression suddenly serious. “Papá, you promised to get me a hot air balloon. We need to go to… the moon.”

You can’t help but giggle at the absurdity of it all. Despite your worry, Carlos' delirious ramblings are endearing, his usual composed demeanor replaced with childlike wonder.

“We’ll get you that hot air balloon,” his father promises, playing along. “Just rest for now.”

Carlos seems satisfied with this answer, his eyes drifting closed again. But just as you think he’s fallen asleep, he squeezes your hand, looking up at you with a lopsided grin. “You’re so pretty, did you know that? Like a… a… pretty butterfly. No, wait… prettier.”

Your heart melts, and you press a kiss to his forehead. “Thank you, my love.”

He blinked slowly, his eyes focusing on you with some difficulty. "Hey, cariño," he slurred, his voice dreamy. "Did you know… you have the prettiest eyes? Like... two big... beautiful... stars."

You couldn't help but smile at his words, despite the situation. The anesthesia and pain meds were clearly affecting him. "Thank you, love," you said softly, brushing a strand of hair off his forehead.

Carlos Sr. chuckled from the other side of the bed. "He's going to be talking nonsense for a while. Don't worry, it's normal."

You nodded, but you couldn't stop the bubble of laughter that escaped your lips when Carlos continued. "And... and did you see the... the purple elephants? They were... they were dancing! So funny."

"Purple elephants?" you asked, your amusement growing. "I must have missed them."

Carlos laughed, a sound that was both loopy and endearing. "Yeah, they were... they were here. But they said... 'Carlos, you need to... to rest.' And I said... 'Okay, but only if... if my beautiful wife can stay.'"

Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes, a mix of relief and overwhelming love. "I'm right here, Carlos. I'm not going anywhere."

He sighed contentedly, squeezing your hand with surprising strength. "Good... 'cause... 'cause I love you so much. Did I tell you that today?"

Carlos Sr. shook his head, his shoulders shaking with silent laughter. "I think you have, but it's always nice to hear," he said, clearly enjoying the show.

You leaned down, pressing a gentle kiss to Carlos's forehead. "I love you too, Carlos. So, so much."

He beamed up at you, his eyes drifting shut again. "Good... 'cause... you're stuck with me... forever."

"As long as you don't go chasing any more purple elephants," you teased, feeling the tension in your chest finally start to ease.

few minutes later:

Carlos blinked slowly, his expression earnest despite his haze. "No, really," he insisted, his words tumbling out in a jumbled mess. "You’re like... like a goddess. My goddess. And we’re married. Did you know we’re married?"

Your worry melted away as you watched him, replaced by a warm, affectionate amusement. "Yes, Carlos, I know we’re married."

He nodded, as if this was the most profound revelation. "Good, good. Because I love you. So much. More than… more than racing."

His father laughed again, clearly enjoying his son's delirious state. "That's a bold statement coming from you, Carlos."

Carlos turned his head towards his father, his brow furrowing in confusion. "Papa? You’re here too? Are we having a party?"

You bit your lip to keep from laughing, a mix of relief and endearment washing over you. "No party, love. Just making sure you're okay."

Carlos's eyes grew wide, and he tried to sit up, only to be gently pushed back down by you. "Easy there, don’t hurt yourself."

He pouted slightly, a comical sight on his usually composed face. "I wanted to dance with you. Can we dance later?"

You nodded, brushing a stray lock of hair from his forehead. "Yes, we can dance later. When you’re feeling better."

Carlos sighed contentedly, his eyes drifting shut again. "Okay. I like dancing with you. And kissing you. Lots of kisses."

Carlos Sr. patted his son’s leg affectionately. "Rest, Carlos. You can do all the dancing and kissing you want once you’re better."

You watched as Carlos's breathing evened out, a serene look settling on his face. He sighs contentedly, his grip on your hand loosening as he finally drifts into a peaceful sleep. You sit back in your chair, feeling a wave of relief wash over you. Despite the unexpected twist in your day, Carlos’ silly, medicated declarations have put you at ease.

Carlos Sr. stands, stretching. “I’ll get us some coffee,” he says, patting your shoulder. “You’re doing great.”

“Thanks,” you say, smiling up at him. “And thank you for being here.”

He nods, giving you a reassuring smile before leaving the room. Alone with Carlos, you watch his chest rise and fall with each steady breath, your heart swelling with love for this incredible man.

Despite the chaos, the worry, and the gibberish about giraffes and hot air balloons, you wouldn’t trade this moment for anything. This is your life with Carlos, unpredictable, sometimes ridiculous, but always filled with love.

As Carlos sleeps, you allow yourself to relax a bit more, sinking back into the chair and letting the tension drain from your body. His peaceful expression reassures you, reminding you of all the wonderful moments you've shared and the many more you will create together.

A nurse comes in quietly to check on Carlos, her presence a gentle reminder of where you are. She smiles at you kindly, her movements efficient and unobtrusive.

"He’s doing well," she whispers after checking his vitals. "The meds will keep him a bit loopy for a while, but he’s on the mend."

You nod, grateful for her reassurance. “Thank you.”

Once she leaves, you return your attention to Carlos. His hair is slightly mussed, his lips still curled in that adorable, lopsided grin. You can’t help but reach out and run your fingers through his hair, your touch light and tender.

Carlos stirs again, blinking slowly as he regains consciousness. His eyes focus on you, and he smiles sleepily. “Hey, beautiful,” he murmurs, his voice rough with sleep. “Did we get to the moon yet?”

You laugh softly, shaking your head. “Not yet, my love. But soon, I promise.”

He chuckles, the sound warm and comforting. “Good. I need to plant a flag there. A big one, with our faces on it.”

“That sounds perfect,” you say, leaning in to kiss his cheek. “We’ll do that.”

Carlos Sr. returns with two cups of coffee, handing one to you before taking his seat again. “How’s our astronaut doing?” he asks, amusement twinkling in his eyes.

“He’s planning our next adventure,” you reply, sharing a smile with him. “We’re going to the moon.”

“Of course you are,” Carlos Sr. says, laughing. “He’s always been a dreamer.”

Carlos, still half-asleep, mumbles something unintelligible, and both you and his father chuckle softly. You take a sip of your coffee, the warmth and bitterness grounding you, reminding you that you’re not alone in this.

------------

The day passes slowly, the minutes ticking by with a strange blend of anxiety and calm. Nurses come and go, checking on Carlos and making sure he’s comfortable. Each time he wakes, he has something new and ridiculous to say, each statement more endearing than the last.

As evening falls, Carlos finally starts to become more coherent. His eyes clear, and his grip on your hand tightens. “Hey,” he says softly, his voice more steady now. “How long was I out?”

“Most of the day,” you say, brushing your thumb over the back of his hand. “You needed the rest.”

He sighs, nodding slowly. “I feel like I’ve been talking nonsense.”

“You have,” his father says with a grin. “But it’s been entertaining.”

Carlos groans, a blush creeping up his cheeks. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” you say quickly, squeezing his hand. “It’s been kind of cute, actually.”

“Cute?” he repeats, raising an eyebrow. “I’m glad you think so.”

You lean in, kissing him softly. “I’m just glad you’re okay.”

He smiles against your lips, his free hand coming up to cup your cheek. “I am, thanks to you. I love you.”

“I love you too,” you whisper, feeling your heart swell with emotion.

Carlos Sr. stands, stretching. “I’ll give you two some privacy,” he says with a knowing smile. “But don’t stay up too late. You both need your rest.”

“Thanks, papa,” Carlos says, his voice warm with gratitude.

As his father leaves the room, you settle into the chair beside Carlos, holding his hand and basking in the quiet intimacy of the moment. Despite the day’s chaos, you feel an overwhelming sense of peace. Carlos is here, safe and on the road to recovery, and that’s all that matters.

“Ready for that hot air balloon ride to the moon?” you tease, resting your head on the edge of his bed.

He chuckles, his eyes twinkling with amusement. “As long as you’re with me, I’m ready for anything.”

And in that moment, you know that no matter where life takes you, as long as you have Carlos by your side, everything will be just fine.

[kaivenom]

Being Venom's host and dating Spiderman HCS

Masterlist

Andrew!Spider

He is amused at first.

He is a big geek for comics and nerd about science so when he saw an alien with a parasite form who is an antihero and plus is unified with an atractive human, inmediatly obsessed.

This means that your first dates were in reality lab dates, with him making tests on the symbionte and chatting with you.

Like all spidermans, he doesn't like the killing part but he makes all his efforts to prevent it from happening.

Which means always having chocolate snacks on his bag and even making like protein snacks with the substance you need.

Venom says it tastes really bad but you oblige him to not say anything because Peter looks really happy to help you feed.

Spontaneous dates where you both climb onto the empire state or things like that.

Always being lab partners and eating together.

He got used to Venom's pressence really fast, you were worried he would be uncomfortable with it but he accepted it was a part of you.

He even ends up being the pacifier if Venom and you are angry at each other. One time even unifiying to Peter to make you jealous and making him see their point.

Many sessions of cuddles and emotional support since you sometimes feel like a monster.

He is the most understanding and lovable boyfriend.

Holland!Spider

He is scared of you at first.

He intented to escape you always or arrest you for being a villain.

After some time he started to get to know you a little better, and that made it a lot easier to get along.

He starts to see more the person you are and not the homicidal killer Venom makes you.

You ask him to date, he got nervous but said yes, and for a couple of weeks, you thought he was scared to say no.

But surprisingly, he was a good boyfriend and tried to be the best at taking care of you both.

So your worries faded out.

Dating him It's like dating a pomeranian dog while you are a Big doberman.

You both tried to date like normal people and dont involve your heroes counterparts because yes, he tries to convince Venom to be a hero.

Even with that efforts, you still manage to be protective over him while he gets on night watches.

You are ussually the one iniciating the affections and physic contact but he always corresponds you.

He is a very awkward and clumsy boyfriend.

Miguel O'hara

He hates you at first.

And you both never quite make your relationship oficial.

Every Spider has a Venom but he surely cant stand you at first, and he says that to you very often.

But Its like you are stuck together in that mess.

But then you save his life, and then he is in the need of doing the same, and so on...

Until he started to hate you more for saving him and not being such a bad person, but in reality he started to hate the fact that he found you attractive.

He tries to insult you but you snap him back and that just makes him like you more.

His efforts to continue hating you weren't good which means, one day he couldn't stand It more and kissed you angrily.

That happened again the next day and that other, until almost daily.

You never make it oficial but you know the way he is with you is especial, even with the grumpyness.

He indeed, likes your strenght and determination.

He always tries to look mad and angry at your actions, some times he even is, but he cant be away from you too much so he goes back almost inmediatly.

He is a grumpy and stressed boyfriend

[sardonic-the-writer]

𝐄𝐝𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐝 𝐍𝐲𝐠𝐦𝐚 𝐇𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐀 𝐂𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐡 𝐎𝐧 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐖𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐈𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞

↳ warnings: none

↳ song: something for your m.i.n.d— superorganism

masterlist | commissions | carrd

• Everyone's seen how he acted around Kristen before you started frequenting the GCPD

• To most of the precinct, Edward's a fidgety, overzealous guy, with a smile border lining on creepy. He's not the best at socializing, and his lack of understanding boundaries leave him with nearly zero friends

• So when you showed up with that sharp gaze of yours, at least attempting to supply him with the answer to one of his riddles, he knew he had to have you

• As a friend, of course. What else could he possibly mean by that.

• Whether you work at the precinct with him, or just happen to show up there more than considered normal, Ed can't help but hault his day just to talk to you. And he always opens with a riddle. One that he cooked up laying in his bed at night especially for you

• "My life is measured in hours and I serve you by expiring. I'm quick when I'm thin and slow when I'm fat. The wind is my enemy. What am I?" He smiles at you over the rim of his glasses, wringing his hands expectantly

• "Hey to you too, Nygma." You don't even have to look up to know that he's smiling

• "Please. Call me Ed. Do you give up?"

• "As if. Hit me with it again, would you?"

• I'm begging you. Do some kintec type puzzles with him. You will literally win his love and affection on the spot. Even if it's just a mini rubic's cube attached to a key ring; Ed is absolutely enamored with you the moment you pull it out

• It takes him a while to fully realize that he has developed sort of a thing for you. It most likely takes the help of his alter ego to flip the switch in his brain once and for all; something he doesn't appreciate. Especially considering the lack of filter he has when it comes to Ed's romance life

• After all a few months ago, the only one he had eyes for made fun of him in her spare time. Now that he has someone who genuinely wants to know about his day? It's all over for the poor guy

• If Ed ever finds out that you talk about him to other people—in a positive light, of course—he wont stop smiling for days. It gets to a point where even Jim notices and shakes his head, glad to see that forensics scientist is looking happy

• Leaves more than just verbal riddles for you to solve. That odd shaped box that you don't remember putting in your bag? That slip of paper written in a coded message? Edwards by your side the next time you show up, asking if you were able to solve it

• Lee probably knows about his crush on this mysterious figure. She can't help but notice that Edward's a little happier than he should be while digging through a dead guys sternum for a bullet

• Definitely unleashes a soft interrogation on him, only stopping once his ears are a flaming red and he cant look her in the eyes

• When she finally meets you for the first time, she can't help but smile at you knowingly while Ed sweats bullets in the background

• "So you're Nygma's friend huh? He talks about you a lot."

• "Ed?" You draw his name out and raise an eyebrow slowly, leaning to the left to peer over Lee's shoulder quizzically

• "I've suddenly recalled, uh, a uhm, experiment that I uh. Yeah. Bye."

• "Sigh. And he didn't even give me a riddle this time."

• "Oh you two really are just perfect."

• "I have no idea what your talking about."

[mydearesthrry]

right back home to you - h.s.

a/n: had a hard time deciding if i wanted to put this out since im not too happy with the outcome but i wanted to feed u guys. in the future ill probably go back in and edit it but for now i hope you all enjoy this little angsty girl xx im also working on part 2 of love in secret !!!!!!!!!! she should be out fairly soon <3

wc: 4.8k

warnings: none, angst, fluff, flight anxiety

“Hello? ‘M home,” Harry shouted into the cold house. Not that he would even notice, but the air was dull and the atmosphere was still, hues in the normally vibrant house now gray and lifeless. “Baby?” 

“Oh, hi Harry,” A dulcet smile was on her face as she walked around the corner with sweatpants and a baggy hoodie on, a baseball cap on top of her head. She had her dirty and beat up air forces on her feet that Harry loved to make fun of, small dollops of paint on the soles of the shoe. She also had a pair of sunnies that lay stagnant on the dark blue visor, a tell tale sign for Harry that she was going out. “I didn’t hear you come home.” 

Harry hummed, holding his arms out for her to walk into. She did, but only embraced him with half of her body, one arm curling around his waist loosely while the other stayed swaying by her side. In both of their opinions, it was way too short to even be considered a hug, not even close to being an embrace, but Y/N did it purposely. Harry frowned, feeling a twinge of hurt at her unusual lack of affection. “Um… Are y- are y’going out?” 

She laughed falsely, shaking her head and turning her body to face the large windows in their apartment. “Yeah, I guess you could say that.” 

Harry was still confused. “What d’you mean?” 

It’s now or never, Y/N thought, and mustered her bravest smile as she pivot turned to face him again. “I’m leaving, Harry. I’m going up to New York to stay with Eliza. I don’t know when I’ll be home, but I’ll be sure to let you know in advance, is that okay?” 

A few beats pass, Harry staring at her in disbelief. “What the fuck? No, no, s’not okay! Why- why are y’leaving? Y’didn’t even tell me? When were you planning on telling me y’were leaving?” 

“I’ve been planning on leaving for a long time, Harry. I was actually meant to leave before you even got home, really, but you’re early.” She sighed, rubbing at her temple and knowing the fight that was about to ensue. 

“Why are y’leaving?” Harry’s voice started to grow in volume, becoming harder and harsher as he tightened his hands into balled fists, trying to channel his feelings in another way rather than yelling at his girlfriend. 

“I’m leaving because I can’t do this anymore, Harry. I cant keep arguing with you every day, it’s just not fair to me. And it’s not fair to you either, really, so I’m just… taking the stress off of the both of us and making the bold decision to leave.” She explains, moving to grab her suitcases from the hallway and roll them into the living room. 

“That’s wha’ this is about? The fight we had last night?” He asks, eyes widening and mouth drying at the sight of her multiple suitcases. 

“Um— not entirely, I guess. I’ve meant to go up to visit Eliza, if you remember, we were going to but you had um— a party, that you needed to attend. So I just decided to book a flight last night after you went to sleep.” She's as quiet as a mouse, her words not staggering but it was physically obvious that she was nervous. 

“So what now? Is that it? You’re just… throwing away four years of my- of our fucking life?” Harry spat. She’d started to shrink into herself quite a bit, sweaty palms running over the now warm black handle of her small suitcase. 

“I’m not throwing away anything, Harry. We had a fight, you and I both said some nasty things, and I’m just going up to my sister's house for a little bit to clear my head. Like I said, I was meaning to go up anyway. This isn’t really about you, Harry, as much as you think it might be. I’ve been miserable here all alone and all I want is to be with someone who I know can provide me with love and attention right now, which is what I need. You need it too.” She tried to hold her ground but the tremble in her soft voice made her feel weak. 

She and Harry had gotten into a multitude of arguments within the past weeks that he had been off tour. It started from little things, like a sock being thrown over the laundry basket and not inside of it, or one of them leaving their dirty tea mugs on the counter when the sink was right there! But as small and insignificant as these things were, they also grew into arguments about bigger issues. One of the more nasty arguments had pushed her to pack her bags and book a plane ride up to her sister’s house in New York. 

The argument on the table this time around was that whenever Harry was home after an elongated amount of time on the road, he would treat Y/N as if she was his friend and not girlfriend of three years. She’d had a problem with this seeing as all she ever wanted him to do was love her and take care of her, and for some reason she couldn’t help but feel he found that hard. 

“Bullshit. I know y’leaving ‘cause your feelings got hurt or whatever, but you know y’don’t have to leave, pup. We can resolve this, don’t we always?” He grumbles, taking a few small steps forward to meet her where she stood by the door. 

“It’s entirely different this time, Harry.” She sighed, bending down to sit on the floor since she knew they’d probably be there for a while. 

“How?! How could this be any fuckin’ different? We’re jus’ arguin’ are we not?” Harry runs a stressed hand through his hair, trying to channel his energy away from his voice. Though he tried to refrain from allowing his anger to seep its way into his voice, his girlfriend could still pick up on the edge that lined his vocal chords. 

“No, baby. We aren’t just arguing. This is me trying to tell you how I feel, and you keep pushing it aside. So this isn’t just us arguing anymore, I guess I’m surrendering. I’m tired of doing this with you whenever you’re home, Harry. I’m alone every day, 24/7, and then you come home and it’s like nothing has changed. Which I love, I love how we can just bounce back, but sometimes I need more love or attention when you come back, and I just…” She starts to gnaw on her lips, trying to word her next thought carefully. “I’m tired of being treated like your friend rather than your girlfriend.” 

“What?” 

“Mhm. Besides me being alone all the time, whenever I do have you— or people around, you only ever want to keep me at arms length. The whole world knows we’re together, Harry. You’ve posted on my birthday and it’s no secret to anyone anymore. I… I just can’t understand why you do that, really. It makes me feel like I’m just your friend and not your lover.” She pauses, inhaling a sharp breath of air and willing her tears away. 

“What do you— what do you even mean? I’m always with you whenever I’m home, I bring y’everywhere w’me?” His anger just kept growing and growing, but this time he noticed that the weight of guilt that was sitting on his heart had gotten heavier with every breath he took, the weight of the pull almost being able to bring him to his knees.

She lets out a wet laugh, shaking her head before dropping it in defeat. “Harry… I hate to bring it up but— you’ve been home for what, three weeks now? We haven’t had sex, we barely have cuddled, you don’t put your arm around me in public or kiss my cheek. I— I feel like I’m losing you. It’s so hard to love you when you won’t let me. I’ve tried to be understanding and just trying to accept the fact that you’re readjusting to our normal life but… I miss you. The only time we talk for longer than a few minutes is when we fight, and that’s not okay. You know how much you mean to me, but I just can’t keep trying to love someone you aren’t anymore. It’s just too destructive to me and I just can’t. I’m sorry, Harry. I hope you can understand, and I’ll be back whenever we’re ready.” 

Harry’s now shaking with sobs. Uncontrollable, messy, heartbreaking sobs. Her words were finally making sense to him. All of the arguments had finally made sense. She was arguing with him just so he would talk to her. He thought he could die with the amount of guilt squeezing his heart right now. 

“I love you, isn’t that enough?” He whispered. 

“I don’t think it is anymore, Harry.” Lifting herself up to her feet, she rolls her suitcase to stand behind her, taking a few small steps to be inches away from her Harry. “I’ll be back, H. I promise.” 

Placing a kiss to his wet cheek, he watched her walk away with a damp smile, and against his will, engrained the image of her leaving to his mind. 

This wasn’t how he imagined they would end. 

He didn’t even entertain the thought of them ever ending; but now he feels like he just lost every single atom of his being in the quickest of moments. 

—

It was hell. 

Harry could say with full conviction that it was absolute hell to be in that house, that big house on the beach, alone. 

Nothing felt right. From the second he woke up in the morning, to the minute he slid his legs under the covers at night, he almost felt nauseous because of how unusual he felt. How unusual everything felt. 

And it was all his fault. 

Picking up his phone, he goes to text his sweet girl again when he decides to scroll up to find the reprieve of gray amongst the sea of blue. 

Harry: Please text me when you land. 

Harry: I love you, please don’t forget that. 

Harry: Take all the time you need, Angel. I’m here if you need me. I’m so sorry.

Harry: I’ll be waiting for you when you get home. Just say the word and I’ll get you a ticket. 

Harry: Take your time though, please be safe. I love you.

Harry: Again

Y/N: just landed. kinda busy rn, talk to you later bug

Harry: That’s okay, be safe. ❤️

Y/N loved this message

Harry: I love you 

Y/N: yeah love you too h

Allowing his head to drop onto the back of the sofa, his arm fell limp onto his thigh, his green eyes scanned the interior of the living room, twinges of pain and guilt panting in his chest whenever he’d land his gaze on something that was proprietarily hers. 

Her growing orchids in a handmade pot that they’d painted together on their first Valentine’s Day as a couple. 

The godawful mirror she thrifted from a random corner store back in her hometown that she begged Harry to put up. 

A small canvas filled with tiny paintings of inside jokes and memorable dates that she gifted to him last Christmas. He allowed himself to trace over that painting for a little longer than the rest of the small things placed among their living room. 

11/29/19. The first time they met. 

1/16/21. When Harry asked her to be his girlfriend. 

4/07/21. The first time they said I love you. 

12/25/22. When Harry surprised Y/N on Christmas with a down payment on a house. The one he was now residing in, alone. 

A red convertible figurine, the car they first kissed in. 

A coffee cup and a teacup, symbolizing the first date they went on, where he learned she hates tea and preferred coffee, which led to an argument on whether coffee or tea was better. 

A small tulip, representing the first bouquet of flowers he ever bought her. 

And a small pearl ring, an exact replica of the promise ring Harry had given her on their 3 year anniversary. 

He didn’t even notice the streaks of tears beginning to run down his face until he felt a teardrop fall onto his inner wrist, making him look down. 

But as he canvassed the room once more, he perked up at the sight of a small snow globe that she brought him back from New York, and that was when he got an idea. He knew it was dramatic, and a bit of a stretch, but who said he wouldn’t go to extreme lengths to get his soulmate back?

Yeah, no one ever. 

To: Eliza

Harry: Hey Liz, got a sec?

—

Harry hated flying alone. 

Since he was a teenager and stepped foot on his first plane, he was anxious even being next to someone he barely knew even though his friends were two seats away. Though he would claim that he’s always been a bit anxious and just chalking it up to flight anxiety, he knew that the real reason why he hated flying alone was because he always feared that something bad would happen on the ground when he was in the air and vice versa, and that was always his greatest vice. 

His hands began to tremble nervously as he looked out the window of the airplane, seeing nothing but fluffy white on the exterior and the soft red light of the aircraft’s wings blinking every so often. His headphones were placed over his head, smushing his curls down flat onto his head, a mask covering the bottom half of his face. His hood was pulled up as well, trying to conceal himself as much as possible. He hadn’t brought much, just a little carry on and a small tote to shove under the seat in front of him. It was wishful thinking that he wouldn’t be there for a long while, but he brought the keys to his apartment in New York anyway. 

He kept his head hung in nausea, the speed of his shaking hands increasing tenfold. The pit in his stomach grew and he had to beg his own body to allow his eyes to not stray to the window next to him. Sure, he could close it, but he feared if it was too dark he would become more anxious than he was right now. The mask covering the bottom half of his face now felt constricting— as if he was being suffocated by the thin layer of fabric. The light douse of perfume that danced around the sunflower print of the mask couldn’t even distract him, and it only pained him more that his senses were fully encompassed by her. He bit down on his lip to distract himself by the whirling feeling of nausea that now swirled around in his throat, willing away the sick that begged to come out.

The rest of the flight was the same, his anxiety only decreasing when he allowed himself to take a small nap. However, when he woke up, his nerves had heightened when he flickered his gaze from the window to the screen in front of him, reading only 20 minutes until he was set to touch down. Grasping his phone from his hoodie pocket, he aligned it to his face then rolling his eyes when he remembered he had a mask on. Lowering his phone he typed in his password— Y/N’s birthday— and pulled up their messages again. 

Harry: Good morning baby. I love you. I hope you have a good day today!! 

Y/N: thanks h love you

He couldn’t lie and say that her being short with him didn’t hurt his feelings, because it did. He wasn’t going to avoid the fact, but that didn’t mean that he liked it regardless. He felt like a fool checking his phone so often, especially when he knew that she wouldn’t be making an effort to reach out first, but he could be hopeful, right? 

At least that’s what he’s telling himself. 

The plane landed safely, nerves rolling off of his back in waves and he was more than happy to leave his flight anxiety on the floor of the plane, relieved to not be miles high in the air. There was a lull that was obvious to Harry, and he felt himself switch to function in autopilot, waiting mindlessly to enter the aisle to retrieve his bag from the overhead compartment. 

The nippy New York air was the first thing to snap Harry out of his trance. Looking down at his phone, he felt a soft buzz and soon after felt his heart beat almost fast enough to eject from his chest. 

Y/N: saw this in a store earlier, thought of u

Y/N: Attachment: 1 Image 

Eliza: waiting near terminal b for you, lmk when you get outside 

Harry: I’m outside, can you see me?

Eliza: yep. be there in a sec

Swiping out of Y/N’s sisters messages, he went to click on Y/N’s before a black car stopped in front of him, averting his attention from his device to the car that just screeched to a halt. Taking a deep breath to calm himself, he trudged forward and grabbed onto the door handle, prying it open and avoiding Eliza’s deathly stare. “Um- hiiii.” 

She scoffed. “Hi, H.” 

He throws his tote to his feet, awkwardly buckling himself in and turned in his seat, avoiding eye contact but making sure she knew that conversation was open if she’d wanted to make it. “How— um… How are you?”

Silence follows his words for a few seconds, making him heat up in embarrassment. “Good.” 

“Oh- that’s good… I, um— haven't seen y’in quite a while, Lizzy,” He says softly, guilt evident in his voice. “I missed you.” 

Eliza was basically Gemma’s best friend. They were attached at the hip the first time they met, bonding over being the eldest sisters, and shared secrets. Y/N and Harry’s family had always been interconnected, close with each other even if Y/N and Harry lacked that communication. 

They were basically soul tied in every sense of the phrase. 

“Yeah, I missed you too, H. But,” Eliza starts. “You’ve been a right dick to my sister.” 

“I know,” He whispers. 

“Do you? Fuck, H, my fucking baby sister came to me crying because of you. And you know how much I love you, truly, you know I do, but I love her more. So, I just have to ask,” She pauses, gnawing on her lip and clicking her blinker on to signal her turn. “What the hell happened?” 

“I,” He sniffs, trying to contain his emotions already begging to come out. “I don’t know.” 

Eliza snorts. “Bullshit.” 

“I— I really don’t, Lizzy. I guess I was really in m’head about… well, everything. I lo- love her so much,” Harry’s voice cracks, his facade shattering into more microscopic pieces than the most delicate sheet of glass ever could. 

“I know you do, H. That’s why this is so confusing to me. To Gems. And most importantly, to Y/N. What happened, Curly? How’d we lose you?” She begs, trying to get him to explain where he was mentally. She loved him as she would Y/N, which was the hardest part. It hurt her as much as it hurt him to confront him about the issue. 

“I don’t want her to hate me! Okay?” Harry sobs, chin falling to his chest in weakness. “I don’t want her t’hate me for being away all the time, and I’m so fucking scared. ‘M scared because the press is doing nothing but talking bad about me and I don’t know if I can equally protect her as much as she does me when this happens. When it happens t’me I jus’ ignore it, but I know she can’t do that. I know it, Lizzy, and so d’you.” 

“I know, H. I know.” She whispers. 

“I jus’ wanted to keep her as far away as I could so that if she did decide she didn’t want me anymore, it wouldn’t hurt as bad.” He murmurs so quietly, he himself even doubts if he said it out loud. 

Silence followed the rest of the car ride, the only sound filling the space of the vehicle being the soft splatter of rain on the glass windows and windshield, paired with the crackly static of the stereo. The sun even seemed to be hiding away, the sky dark with clouds, little to no light making an appearance to greet Harry’s arrival. 

Pulling up to her driveway, Eliza parked the car, keeping her ignition on so she could drive away after Harry got into the house. Turning to Harry, she chewed on her bottom lip as she traced his side profile with her eyes. “You need to tell her exactly what you told me. Word for word, Harry. You can’t keep her in the dark. She doesn’t even know I went to pick you up. So, just promise me that you’ll tell her exactly what you told me.” 

“I promise.” Harry’s voice cracked in a broken whisper, vocal cords thrumming against each other as if they were rusted. “Love you, Lizzy. Thank you.”

Stepping out of the car, he knocked on the door thrice, and tapped softly on the doorbell for good measure. His hands had gone cold with anxiousness, but he wrote it off as the stark cold weather of New York. 

“Harry? Oh my god, baby, get inside,” Y/N pulled him in immediately, pushing his thick puffer jacket off of him that was shiny with rainwater, hands coming up to pull his baby blue beanie from his hair, revealing his soft curls. They shared no words as she pulled him to the living room, where she sat the both of them down and covered the length of their torsos and legs with a big fluffy blanket. Y/N didn’t waste a second before she threw her legs over his thighs, grabbing his hands and rubbing over the cold and cracked red skin, trying to exude as much warmth from her own as much as she could. 

She’s always been warm. 

Her hands have always been graced with heat and more significantly, she always tended to carry around an aura as sweet as honey and as warm as a hug with her wherever she went. Bringing their hands up to his lips, he presses kisses all over the back of hers, kissing her knuckles and fingertips that moved erratically over his own. She could feel the dry chap of his lips on her hands and down to her wrists but she didn’t care. She didn’t mind one bit. She would rather commit the feeling of his lips on her hands to memory rather than not know what they felt like at all. 

“What’re you doing here, baby?” She asks, concern etched in her face as she lifts her head to look at him, her movements on his hands not staggering or slowing. 

“Came t’see you,” He whispers weakly. “Couldn’t bear it. I need t’see you, hold y’again… Fuck, do jus’ about anything to be near y’again.” 

Her heart twisted with the most intense emotion that she could only describe as heartbreak. “You— you got on a plane by yourself just to come see me?” 

“Would do jus’ about anything f’you, sweet girl. Of course I would go on a plane jus’ by myself if it meant I could hold you.” He admitted. He avoided eye contact with her, keeping his eyes trained on their conjoined hands that now lay stagnant on the soft fabric of the blanket. 

“Harry,” She whispers. “Why are you here, my love?” 

“I felt too guilty t’let you leave like that,” He says, gnawing on his bottom lip to will away the tears begging to escape. “I couldn’t let y’go without telling y’I loved you. And I didn’t…” He pauses, struggling for air as he over explained. “I didn’t even explain m’self. I didn’t tell you I loved you. I didn’t kiss y’back. I didn’t even tell y’to be safe.” 

He’s fully sobbing now, Y/N tracing his side profile with his eyes, jittering with fear and anxiety. “It’s okay, hey, baby, listen,” Grabbing his chin with the tips of her fingers, she turns his head to hers, resting his forehead atop of hers. “It’s okay. I forgive you. I just needed time to think and I didn’t want to lash out on you because I didn’t have time to. We’re okay, baby. I promise.” 

He shook his head while she spoke, tears falling on the fluff of the blanket with every movement. His eyes were clenched as if he was in pain, and uneven erratic breaths fell from his mouth. “Nonono. I should— should’ve listened to you. I did- didn’t mean t’treat y’like tha’,” Harry’s accent had gotten heavier with how much emotion he was feeling, stumbling over his words as if he was drunk. 

“And I should’ve explained myself more. It’s not your fault, H. Please baby, breathe,” She begged, tightening her grip on his hands as she pleaded with her nose slotted next to his, every whispered beg pushing her lips forward to lightly brush against his raw-bitten ones. “There, that’s it.” 

His breaths began to even out, just the slightest bit. His hands still shook dramatically, veins in his neck that once protruded from the force of his cries now retracting. “I’m sorry.” 

“Harry, stop apolog-“ 

“No. I have t’say this before I leave because if I don’t, I don’t think I ever will. I— I didn’t mean t’push y’away. I was trying to protect m’self but I didn’t see that it was hurting y’too. It wasn’t my intention, and now I realize it wasn’t the right thing t’do.” He sniffles, pulling back from her face to hold eye contact for the utmost emphasis on his words. 

“I tried to keep you far away because if you ended up resenting me for being away all the time it would hurt less if you decided to leave me. Paired with everything that’s being said in the media about m’right now, I tried t’keep y’as far away as I could so that if everything came crashing down on me, I would’ve had to cope with losing y’less than everything else. And I kept picking fights with y’so that if— or when y’got too fed up w’me, you’d leave me yourself instead of something else forcing y’to leave me. I think it was all subconscious, seeing how I freaked out on y’when y’told me you were leaving. I guess I didn’t really prepare myself for when it was really going t’happen. I’m really, really sorry, Angel. I really do hope y’can forgive me.” 

She’s silent. It scares him, he can’t lie. He takes her silence as an answer and pulls his hands from her grasp and moves her legs softly off of his thighs, standing up and brushing off his pants in an attempt to stall. She’s still mute, and he takes it as his cue to go. There’s still tears streaming down his face, but they’re silent. Like he doesn’t even want to acknowledge that they’re falling at all. 

“I love you.” He whispers, before turning and walking to the door. Placing his hand on the knob, he turns it, and his heart follows the motion with a sharp twist that he thinks he feels in his entire body. He’s gnawing in his lip to avoid breaking down in front of her, even though she’s arguably seen him at his worst and most vulnerable times. Opening the door, he’s greeted with the harsh cold air, biting at his skin so aggressively he feels like his tears have now frozen to his face. Bearing the pain, he forced himself to take the step out the doorway and onto the porch, on autopilot as he let his feet decide his motions. 

“Harry, wait,” Y/N pleaded, running out behind him, meeting him in the middle of the driveway in nothing but tiny shorts and a stolen crewneck of his that she'd haphazardly stuffed into her luggage. “I love you. I love you more than I could probably ever explain, and I— I just need you to know that. If you’re done with me or done with this, that’s okay, I just need you to know that I love you.” 

“I love you. Always.” He whispers, lips trembling with sadness. 

“You know I always will, right?” She asks, placing a warm hand onto his wet and cold cheek.

“I know, baby. I do.” He says. 

“I’m here whenever you want me. I promise.” She pleads, coming up to reach his lips, placing a soft kiss to his cold ones. 

“Come home, please.” 

“Always, H. I’ll always come right back home to you.”

[januaryrabbit]

Request: how svt would deal with their crush being in a relationship already (their crush is their bff)

hello! thank you for requesting, im sorry its so late!! :) this scenario is kinda angsty so i hope you dont mind!!

seventeen when their crush (who happens to be their best friend) is in a relationship!!!

pairing: svt x gn!reader

word count: 2.3k

warnings: angst, Simping, Yearning

other disclaimers/notes: lowercase intended; barely proofread because it's 4am!!!, i’ve been watching wayyyyy too many coming of age films lately lmao!!!

✩‧₊˚Cope (trying to be normal)

vernon: vernon rolls with the punches in most any circumstance, and this is no exception. like Yeah….this shit sucks….but you guys are best friends, so he has to deal with it. i don’t think this would affect him too much tbh,,,like i think the fact that he’s in love with you is something he rarely even admits to himself. i feel like he always has it in the back of his mind, but nothing more than that. i think he’d be able to ignore his feelings the most successfully out of all the members because vernon’s realistic with himself and he knows there’s no point in being hurt over something that’s out of his control. none of this stops him from loving you, but that’s something for him to know and you to never find out lol. seungkwan knows about vernon’s feelings btw. he (vernon) figures that if he had to tell anyone…it would be him, and for whatever reason, he felt compelled to tell at least one person about all of this. vernon doesn’t know why, but it feels better knowing that someone knows his true feelings, even if that someone isn’t, and probably can never be, you.

s.coups: you know that face he makes after the girl rejects him in mansae??? Yeah. Yeah that’s him at all times lmao. he cant say hes mad at anyone in this situation, except maybe the universe lmao. i think he just regards this whole situation has his life’s hugest bruh moment LOL. he’s gotten okay at pretending like everything’s fine when he’s around you, because in his mind, there’s nothing else he can do. there was no way he was going to end his friendship with you, but there was also no way he could confess his feelings to you. in private, he’s talked to some of the boys about it in private - mostly jeonghan and joshua, but sometimes when he’s feeling particularly frustrated with the situation, he goes to woozi, who is able to ground him every time he feels like he can’t take it anymore. seungcheol knows that to others, being friends with you while still being in love with you doesn’t make the slightest bit of sense; but if it meant you were still in his life to some capacity, that was all that mattered to him.

joshua: the definition of smiling thru the pain…like he’s literally katy perry They ask you how you sre and you just have to say that youre fine even though youre not fine like. i think more than anything, he’s not too torn up over this situation than he is irritated. the mention of your partner makes his eye twitch LMFAO. like when you come back from going on a trip with them, you start telling joshua about everything you did together and he’s like THAT’S SO COOL Y/N . I’M SO GLAD YOU GUYS HAD FUN. *eye twitch* LOL. tries his best not to go overboard with it or make it obvious that he’s being sarcastic - he’s aware enough to know that your happiness is important and that unless there’s a legit reason one day, he doesnt have any grounds for disliking your s/o too LOL. i think he’s probably overly cautious if you ever tell him that you and your s/o were having problems as well. like he would be try really hard to be neutral if you ever asked him for his opinion on a situation that happened between you and your partner. i think he would feel guilty about being your confidant while having these feelings for you,,as much as he wants to tell you to break up with them and be with him instead, he knows how terribly selfish of him it would be to put you in that situation. so, he endures it everyday.

dk: dude……HE IS ALSO SMILING THROUGH THE PAIN…..but like HES ALSO CRYING….SO BAD….like. he tries REALLY hard to keep everything lighthearted around you - any time the conversation gets even close to being serious, he always pivots to a different topic. some of the other boys can tell something’s the matter when he’s around you, but they can’t quite place what’s different about him. when he’s around you, he just seems ever-so-slightly…off. his smile is less bright, his jokes are a little less frequent, and he’s actually kind of quiet when people are around you two. it’s a weird sight to see, and dk knows this; he knows that others have noticed, but he’s trying as hard as he can to behave as naturally as he can around you. i think he’s one of the members that would be pretty broken up about the situation, similar to mingyu. i don;t see him being able to deal with something like this well. i think he definitely goes to the other boys for comfort about this, to the point where his feelings for you are kind of an open secret amongst them lmao. (except dino because seungkwan begged everyone not to tell him because he thinks dino would make it obvious that dk likes you so they leave him in the dark!!!) 

seungkwan: bruh seungkwan tries so hard to be normal around you but then he’ll text vernon “im third wheeling y/n again please kill me” in the same breath. sometimes when he’s falling asleep at night he’s just like god how did i end UP in this situation!!!!!  he’s more of the kind of person who’s pouty about it instead of sad about it. he just finds the situation annoying more than anything, and he wishes that you would just REALIZE HE’S IN LOVE WITH YOU ALREADY!! but he’s alright with waiting it out. i think he’s one of the members who would be not very fond of your partner LMAO. every time they greet seungkwan he’s just like “oh hey -___- how are you -___-” and your partner is like babe how do i get seungkwan to like me and you’re like HAHA he’s just like that, he needs to warm up to you!! (seungkwan knows this is not the case with this specific person.) but yeah, i think seungkwan also holds out hope that one day the two of you will end up together. i don’t think he would go as far as to ruin your relationship or influence you to break up with your partner, but i think he would definitely confess if you ever became single again LOL. i think it would be a teary confession too, because he’s been bottling up all these feelings for a while.

✩‧₊˚depression.

chan: oh my lee chan…i think he would fucking die in this situation!!! it would just, Destroy him. and you could tell there was something seriously wrong…he just wasn’t his usual excited self anymore, and he was suddenly beginning to avoid you out of nowhere. dino doesn’t want to do this; he doesn't want to be anywhere but by your side, but that place isn’t for him anymore and he knows that all too well. i think he would be one of the only people who would actually confess his feelings at some point, regardless if you were in a relationship or not. i think one day he would reach his breaking point and ust blurt it out because he just can’t take it anymore. i think part of him, although he feels guilty for it, knows that telling you about it is the first step he needs to take for him personally to move on. the only thing that hurts him more than not being able to be your person is keeping a secret this huge from you.

jun: dude this is the cat version of a kicked puppy. like. jun is NOT ok…..and he’s not very good at hiding it i think. i think you’d be able to tell that something was wrong, but jun is terrified about talking about this with you, so you never really find out what’s bothering him. i dont think he’s one who would ever end up telling you about his feelings. in fact, he might be one of the only ones who lets your friendship naturally drift apart because of his feelings for you. it’s not that he doesnt want to be in your life, but he also wants to get over you more than anything. but i think it would be incredibly difficult for him to see you as just a friend tbh, so for as long as you’re dating your partner, i think he’d keep his distance sadly.

hoshi: the light in this man’s eyes have unironically left. like. the thought of hoshi being sad over you……..I CAN’T BEAR IT!!! yeah i think he would take this all pretty hard. though unlike jun, i don;t think hoshi would be able to stay away from you and keep his distance. you’re too precious of a person in his life, and not to say that you aren’t in other scenarios with other members, but i just see hoshi being firm about still being in your life. in fact, he’s one of the few guys that i think is secretly hopeful that one day down the road you’ll end up together. he doesn’t ever voice these feelings to anyone; he knows it’s ridiculous to feel this way about someone who’s already taken, and he feels that if he voices it to someone that he’s going to get bad karma, LMAO. should you ever become single again though is a different story though….

mingyu: for some reason have this vibe that being in this situation would literally destroy him and eat him alive…i just feel like he’s someone who truly loves really, really hard, and adding in the fact that you’re his best friend magnifies the pain by hundreds. what do you fucking do when the person you love most in this world doesn’t return your feelings? he would be really torn up about this because on one hand, he’s never felt this way about someone before, and he wants nothing more than to be with you; but what he wants more than that is for you to be happy, and if that isn’t with him, he has to accept that. sadly, i feel like at some point this would be too much for him,,,like to the point where he keeps his distance from you a bit. he feels awful, but it’s just too hard for him to hear about you and your partner and act like nothing’s wrong when you’re around :(

✩‧₊˚avoidant

woozi: i feel like he might be a little hot and cold about it. he is Not happy in this situation, and it frustrates him that he cant really do anything about it except deal. he doesn't really like talking about your s/o and he tries his best to hide it, but you can kinda tell that there's something wrong. but when you ask him about it, he says he's totally fine! i don't think woozi would dare to ever let his feelings for you come to light, and as unhappy as it makes him to not be honest with you, he just doesn't feel comfortable with telling someone he has feelings for them when said person is in a relationship. as little of a fan he is of your s/o, woozi knows that if he was in their shoes, he wouldn't be happy if someone confessed to you while the two of you were dating. i think he would need some distance to get over you, and i think the only way that it would happen is by throwing himself into his work and begrudgingly spending a LOT of his time with hoshi LMAO!!

minghao: would distance himself by making a bunch of life changes to keep him busy so he can eventually get over you. minghao values you too much, so he figures the best solution is to take time to himself so he can get over you in a healthy way with space from you. he isn’t happy about seeing you less, but he knows that it’s what needs to be done in order for him to heal from this situation. would definitely have a vague excuse ready if you ever asked him why he was distant from you; i cannot see any universe where minghao would ever admit he used to have feelings for you, even if it had been years past. he’s keeping this one in the vault LMAO, not even jun knows!!

wonwoo: bruh…..he’s. he’s in pain. but he’s keeping it all inside. i think he’d feel really selfish for harboring these feelings toward you while you’re dating someone else. your partner was perfectly friendly to wonwoo,,,like it makes him feel WORSE that he’s in love with you. he tries to forget his feelings, even getting into relationships once in a while, but everything always comes back to you. i feel like this is a secret he’s told absolutely NO ONE at all because of how much it weighs on his heart. the only soul who does know to some extent is mingyu, because he caught wonwoo crying one day when he came home early from work. wonwoo didn’t really get into the details, but he did admit that it he had unrequited feelings for someone. mingyu didn’t pry, and he still never has. 

jeonghan: there is Pain behind his eyes lol but he is keeping this secret in the Vault fr. Maybe, M a y b e s.coups MIGHT know, but that’s about it. jeonghan is one of the only people i can imagine is completely normal around you and no one can tell that there’s anything wrong. the only reason that seungcheol knows anything is because he knows jeonghan the best, and he could tell by the way that he hung onto your every word that he had feelings for you. but yeah, i think jeonghan would have the easiest time living with this secret from you. sometimes he does feel a little guilty, and honestly sometimes he does flirt with you lightly, but nothing to arouse any serious suspicion. mostly he’ll just say he likes your outfit or something when you’re hanging out, which is harmless in his mind. it does bother him that the person he’s in love with is dating someone else, but i think jeonghan would just be like “what else can i do at this point??” and continue with his life. not much changes between the two of you, besides jeonghan being a little more quiet when the topic of your relationship or partner comes up, but it’s not something you notice anyway. and such is life, whether jeonghan is truly okay with it or not.

[harucchii]

Why ARE you proud of your asexuality, exactly? And how did and does it shape how you are as a person, having a natural lack of sexual attraction to anyone? What makes it important enough to celebrate? I'm asking genuinely because I don't understand and would like to. Thank you.

Hi! happy pride month :D

I am proud of my asexuality because is a part of me!! is something that affects the way i see people and for obvious reasons my relationships and trying to hide it or change will only lead me to be miserable

through my whole life i experienced things differently when it comes to attraction to people, i never seemed to develope crushes on my classmates or celebrities, cause i just.. didint care? to a point my mom got worried and straight up asked me if i was gay because my lack of interest "was not normal"

when i was in my first long term relationship my lack of sexual needs and desire was a huge issue that would lead on fights very often and my former partner to feel unloved as i would prefer just to cuddle or watch a movie. This back and foward with him and constant fights made me feel like efectibly was somethign wrong with me and transformed sex more of a chore than something im supposed to enjoy or want

thing which developed a huge sexual trauma on me but also helped me to understand that, that relationship would never work because i just could never deliver what he wanted and his needs were different than mine. we were just hurting each other

i also got sent to doctors by my mother as to find what was "wrong" with me as my lack of sexual needs was not "normal" for her

there is so much i had to deal and endure my whole adulthood because of this, because i experience thigns differently

now. more big and more mature i can confidently say, im asexual. I celebrate my asexuality because There was nothign wrong with me and the way i experience thigns is just different

i celebrate it and i mention it as an important part of myself because i know i will not be able to be in a fullfiling relationship if my partner is not aware of this fact or not willing to accept it

i celebrate it because doctors didnt found anything wrong in me and i just love differently. and asuming that lack of sexual attraction is part of an illness hurts people who might be dealing with this feelings!

I celebrate because in a hyper sexualized world i dont really seem to fit in, AND THAT IS OKAY, because the way i live my life should not affect others and they way they live theirs

i do feel romantic attraction! i can fall in love and love other person!! but i just cant deliver what most people would be expect in a relationship and that is okay!

And finally i celebrate to ensure online that the people who experience love differently just like me are not alone in this journey and will be okay :3. just a lil bit of emotional support for who might feel broken due what others say to them

I apologize if i repeat myself or i wronte something wrong as english is not my main language

have a good day!

[redr0sewrites]

Jealousy Hcs With HSR Characters

urghrhrhrh the cutscene at the end of *redacted for spoilers* with luocha had me feeling some typa way ab him ngl....

🥀CW: jealousy, slight mentions of arguments, fluff, some smut, dirty talk, marking, etc

🥀Pairings: Blade x reader, Kafka x Reader, Dan Heng IL x reader, Sampo x reader, Luocha x reader

🥀minors dni with the nsfw portion

BLADE

i honestly feel like he wouldnt get jealous too easily, but once hes jealous he can be pretty possessive

he trusts you a lot, but sometimes needs reassurance that you wont leave him

i feel like he'd be more protective then actually possessive, however he can gets pretty pissed at the person hes jealous of, esp when it comes to you💀

ALL politeness goes out the door the second someone flirts with you

"theyre mine, i suggest you leave."

very straightforward and to the point

if the person refuses to leave you alone, he can and will get physical on your behalf but only if you want him too

afterwards he would probably act like an angry cat, wanting your affection and reassurance but also being pissed and lashing out at the same time

jealous sex? yes

when hes jealous he is actually feral during sex

using his weight to pin you down, fucking into you so roughly and yet stopping whenever you came close to cumming

"do you need more? too bad. you'll take what i give you. would you prefer to have him fuck you? have his cock stuffing your greedy hole? he cant fuck you like i can. youre mine, and im yours. fucking remember that."

he would also like it if YOU took control and showed him that you only had eyes for him

kiss him, mark him and claim him as yours, show him that you love him and only him

KAFKA

TOTALLY THE JEALOUS TYPE

will deny it with all her heart, but the second that anyone approaches you with even the slightest un-platonic intentions she practically materializes at your side

will wrap an arm around your waist, pulling you in close before kissing your neck

"hello darling~ who are they? a friend?"

honestly not even trying to be subtle, but less rude than blade

she is hot and she knows it, once you both are alone she'll tease you mercilessly. she knows that your utterly devoted to her, the same way she is for you, but she cant help but be jealous sometimes, right?

she is not ashamed tbh

i feel like she would be petty ab it, she'd withhold her affection so your the one that has to come crawling to her

this leads to rough, rough sex

kafka is unrelenting, fucking you and making you cun again and again, each time asking you who you belong to and scratching deep marks down your back and chest with her nails

SHE WILL MAKE U WEAR HER COAT TOO

the thought of you bare beneath her in nothing but her favorite velvet coat, chained down and covered in hickeys is a regular fantasy of hers

overall, very possessive

if u make her jealous on purpose.... good luck because you will not be cumming for the next month

she wont even let you touch yourself, she'll laugh and mock you as you grind yourself against her thigh, begging for release...

Dan Heng IL

when dan hengs not in his dragon form, its nearly impossible to tell when hes jealous bc he just seems so calm all the time

but the second hes in his dragon form???? possessive as fuck. and its obvious. his tail is lashing through the air, his face is twisted in disgust (he looks so cute when hes angry), and hes practically growling at you as his tail wraps involuntarily around your legs

he'll come up and rest a hand on your shoulder, which seems like a normal gesture at first until you notice him death staring the person talking to you, his tail slashing through the air as hes practically growling for your attention

honestly it all boils down to dragon instincts

if its trailblazer dan heng, it would be a completely different story

hed prob just walk up to you and calmly ask who the person was, and would introduce himself as your boyfriend. if the person was especially persistent, he might ask you to come with him but will otherwise just stare at them ngl😭

when it comes to jealous sex with dan heng IL, PUT HIM IN HIS PLACE!!!

he gets jealous and possessive sooo easily, so the best thing to do is just rail him to high heavens to assure him that ur his and hes urs

could be either super soft or super rough sex

no in between

its either sensual, you whispering sweet nothings in his ear about how you only have eyes for him as he gently ruts into you, whimpering softly....

or you have him tied down, overstimulating him and railing him into oblivion as you fuck him dumb

Sampo Koski

he would act so lovey dovey in front of the person making him jealous that its almost disgusting

imagine that one couple who made out against the lockers in highschool and had wayyy too much pda except x10

will literally call you pookie snookums sugar bear honey pie while draping himself in your lap and kissing your whole face just to make the person leave

even if they werent flirting with you in the first place

i think he actually wouldnt get jealous super easily tbh he KNOWS hes hot

he will tease YOU tho

"aww, did you meet someone new? your gonna replace me already?"

NOT SUBTLE EITHER IM SO SORRY

"is your pal sampo already second best to this person? are you really gonna replace me?" *cue sly smirk*

after a while he begins to get needy for your attention and will start to get slightly irritating, poking you, saying your name and looking away when you turn to him, hugging you tightly, etc

eventually he'll DRAG you away, whining the whole time

when yall get home, PLEASE rail this man

he will be smirking the whole time, but the second you tug his hair and force him down onto the bed he is practically giggling

sampo will mark you up like CRAZY during jealous sex, he is like lowkey feral and is not afraid of letting everyone know ur his and hes urs

loud af- moans, whimpers, the whole agenda

afterwards, he will cuddle with you and practically crush you with his weight

hes just sillyyyy<3

Luocha

listen

if you manage to make this man jealous then you must be actually insane

hes like scary calm and reserved ab any situation like this, if someone is flirting with you he'll simply ask them to leave or just come up to you and silently kiss your cheek

hes pretty and hes honorable and he KNOWS it, he would never let jealousy cloud his sights and trusts you enough to know your loyal to him

hes utterly devoted to you and nothing can change that

however

on the off chance that he does get jealous

wowwo

ngl hed prob just confront you ab it to communicate with you ab how he feels, and just to reassure himself your not leaving

hed act like SUCH a gentleman out of pure anxiety for the next few days, he already does but now he wont even let you lift a finger. need to open a door? he materializes in front of you to open it. see something you want at a store? already bought. want food? already made.

when it comes to jealous sex, hed prob be rougher than usual but still romantic

hed be giving you hickeys and both praising and degrading you in missionary, ravishing you and bringing you to your peak again and again

he also wouldn't mind if you took control, and really enjoys words of affirmation both ways, especially you reassuring him that your his and hes yours<3

overall, very sweet and reasonable about the whole situation

IM WRITING AGAINNNNN EEEEE :D SEND IN HSR REQS PLSSSSSSS LUOCHA IS SO SILLY

[orcelito]

ok, i cant resist the urge to make a post about it after all, especially since it's related to a post i made prior

one of my favorite moments in trimax is By Far this part in chapter 35

[ID: Two pages from Trigun. The first starts with Wolfwood thinking, "Now that I think 'bout it, it may be one of the major differences between our species." That deep rooted dear I felt on the ship…" He thinks of Vash crying blood and, swearing, wonders, "Is he the one who can save humankind? That monster?" Wolfwood is briefly shown in resolution before someone calls, "Hey, Wolfwood!" and he looks up with surprise.

Vash sits with a smile at the edge of a rooftop, backed by the Fifth Moon and its prominent crater. Vash asks with a smile, "Just coming back now? You're a bit of a night owl, huh?" Wolfwood looks taken aback and wary. End ID]

Right Here. Vash is just sitting there, smiling like normal, but he's got the backdrop of the damage he caused on the moon set Perfectly behind him. it's a glaring reminder to Wolfwood of who exactly he's dealing with here, and that TERRIFIES him.

& the fact that Wolfwood still remembers that moment of crying blood as a moment of true fear. because for all the cheer Vash shows in the average moment, Wolfwood just recently saw him nearly lose control Again (at the Dragon's Nest). the second time he witnessed it, & the third time he would know about.

Vash is a walking atomic bomb with multiple charges. even with how cheerful & kind he is, he's shown Multiple Times that he does not have full control. he is decidedly something different, something Hazardous to humans, and Wolfwood knows this very very painfully.

for all that Wolfwood loves Vash, he is also terrified of him. and at this point in the story, that terror is potent enough to nearly eclipse his affection for Vash.

leading to some of the next most iconic pages:

[ID: The next page starts with Wolfwood standing behind the sitting Vash, his expression hard and the moon bright behind him. Vash seems sad and has one eye open. A close-up focuses on Wolfwood looking down.

Wolfwood thinks, "So easy to pull the trigger. So easy to remove half the problem." Another close-up with bright lighting obscures his face but for one eye. Then Vash turns around curiously and asks, "What's up?" Wolfwood sits behind him and says "Nothin'. Come on. Let's go." Vash seems surprised as Wolfwood scolds, "Don't get yerself tangled up in every little skirmish ya see. It'll be pointless if ya get yerself killed before ya meet him." End ID]

the manga frames it like Vash doesn't know Wolfwood was pointing the gun at him, but I think he did know. he's freakishly perceptive over and over again throughout the story. he HAS to be in order to survive like he has. he'd hear the movement of the gun & sense Wolfwood behind him...

he'd know. i really think he knew.

but he doesn't do anything about it. there is zero fear in his face. he turns to look at Wolfwood curiously, a bit confused, but not afraid. he never once thought that Wolfwood would shoot him. there's full faith and trust there in that moment.

Wolfwood pretends that nothing happened, & Vash lets him. they both move on, not talking about it, because they never talk about Anything of substance like this (not until much, Much later).

overall, it's just such a great example of their relationship's development. Wolfwood's fear & Vash's trust that he won't act on it... it's just. Man.

(EDIT: people have made some good points about how Vash's expression when Wolfwood points the gun at him shows that he probably did know and YEAH that's a good point! & probably why I was so certain he knew lol, I just hadn't realized it myself)