#who am i kidding it's a piece of shit

[millionsknives]

bait / hook / line / sinker

[hauntingblue]

chopper has become catholic

[dis-astre]

gwizdo from dragon hunters is such a relatable character bc i too didn't choose to be small and poor and ugly and mean but here i am

and i also would scam rich people bc eat the rich they are not frequentable people and i also would adopt a kid and live in a farm with sheeps and my friend with whom i have a weirdly homoerotic relationship

[b4kuch1n]

langa special

[magickkart]

Where are my fellow despairing jobseekers at? The situations bad yall.

[meyerlansky]

i do think 14 year old luke deserved to get smacked around a bit for laughing about the pig actually

maybe not chomped in half

but maybe the adults in the room should've let the kids have a little slap fight at dinner is all i'm saying

[britneyshakespeare]

i love bratz as dolls but i fuckin hate mga as a brand. fuckin idiots

[neuromantis]

apparently my freebooted spotify app/desktop decided i am not actually in netherlands so i can't access it.

well. deleting the acc and will try again in 7 days.

thing with using a somewhat-custom proxy... you don't particularly get a similar ip every time. so the region-locking shits keep acting up. and i created the acc on the free vpn which worked better with that setting, but my proxy doesn't give me a choice.

in general: fuck my life, this is an another addition to a horrible miserable day i am already having, i will find a way to scam you out of a premium account because you gave me no choice otherwise for your service <3

[brittlebutch]

kind of astounding how innocuous conversations with my younger siblings can make me feel like dogshit... what are the good things about being the oldest kid supposed to be again??

[dichard-grayson]

I don’t care what the comic writers say or do Bruce Wayne is a good dad, they’re all wrong

[sporco-filth]

Halloween Costume Curse - Chapter 1

@thespiderpig1999 posted the idea for this story here. I thought I would oblige his request for it to become a full story.

Synopsis: Jason is an arrogant personal trainer who decides to dress up as a fat slob for Halloween. But weird things can happen on Halloween, and Jason is in for a surprise when he wakes up tomorrow morning...

This chapter is really just the beginning, it just sets the scenario up. I have not quite settled on the specifics of how the curse will work (specifically how it affects reality/other characters' memories). So it's not that much actual slob stuff just yet.

"Man, this shit keeps getting in my way," Jason muttered under his breath. "At least it'll be worth it when the boys see me like this. It'll get a laugh out of them for sure!" He squeezed himself out of the car and made his way into the bar Hayden had booked for their Halloween party. "Hey look! Is that Jason?" "No way! Bro that's fucking hilarious!" "Haha, you look like a pig!" Jason laughed and shook the padding around his abdomen. "That's what I was aiming for!" He grabbed some chips from a bowl and made a show of scarfing them down and chewing with his mouth open. One of the guys gave him a beer which he quickly scolled. "BE-UURRP!" he belched, as everyone laughed. Hayden, dressed as a vampire, came over. He patted Jason's fake gut and tugged at his ill-fitting and stained T-shirt. "Looks like it'll be easier for me to get laid tonight! I don't see you scoring looking like a slob." Jason barked a laugh. "I can get any girl, even looking like this and you know it." "Prove it then," Hayden crossed his arms and raised his chin. "Let's see you try your best." "All right, you're on."

Jason cast his gaze around the room. He needed to find a really hot chick, someone who'd really make Hayden jealous and show him who's the top dog around here. Over by the bar, he saw a cute girl in a witch costume talking to a guy dressed as Superman. He strolled over. "Hey kiddo, nice costume," he said to the guy. "Oh, thanks," he replied, a little embarrassed. "Yeah, it's really clever: Superman after he quits crime-fighting and starts to let himself go, right?" Jason poked the guy's little belly, the tight fabric doing nothing to hide the fact he had the beginnings of a muffin top. "Oh, ah…" the guy looked uncomfortable and quietly excused himself. Jason snickered and turned to the girl. "I'm sorry you had to talk with a wimp like him, but don't worry, I'm here now." To his surprise, the girl wasn't smiling. Damn, is this fat suit really going to get in my way? "He might be a little fat," the girl said. "But you're the real pig." "Hey, you know this is just a costume, right? I'm actually a personal trainer; I've got a six pack under all this padding." "Yeah, but under that you're just a pig: rude, thoughtless and insatiable." "Hah, you're not wrong about 'insatiable'," he grinned, looking her up and down. He called over the bartender to get a drink and turned back to the girl. She looked a little less angry. In fact, there was a mischievous gleam to her eyes. "You know," she smiled. "You better watch out: I'm a real witch and tonight is Halloween." "So?" "It's the night when the wall between the spirit world and human world is thinnest, the night my power is strongest." She pulled out her wand and playfully waved it. "If you're not careful, I might just cast a curse on you." Jason laughed. "Man, you're cute." The bartender arrived with his drink. Jason turned to give his friends, who were watching from afar, a wink. Time to close the deal. He leaned in closer. "You know, if you like wands, I've got a big one you can play with. Why don't we ditch this lame-ass party and go somewhere a little more private?" He picked up his drink and took a sip, the witch girl smiled slyly. "I think no," she said, getting off her stool. "And by the way, don't say I didn't warn you." Jason watched her go, confused by her cryptic message. Taking his glass, he returned to his friends." "What were you doing there?" "Yeah, I can't believe you fucked that up." Hayden grinned and put an arm around Jason's back. "Don't feel too bad bro. If it makes you feel any better, even I struggle to get the girls. Sometimes I can only pull one a night." Jason smiled, trying not to show his irritation, and pushed Hayden's arm off him. "I guess this fat suit's just so realistic she thought I was a fat slob. Her loss, she doesn't know what she's missing out on." He laughed. "You know what, if I'm gonna look like a slob tonight, might as well act like one, right?" He lifted his glass to his lips and downed it in one swallow, letting out a massive belch in Hayden's face. Everyone (except Hayden, who was clearly pissed with him) laughed, egging him on. I'm not going to let some weird girl ruin my night, he thought. Tonight'll be a night to remember!

[lilliths-not-just-httyd-blog]

i dressed real scene today and some little four year old boys were looking at me like i was so cool and it felt good

[hauntingblue]

LUFFY!!!!!!!!! I HAVE BEEN CONVERTED!!!! LUFFY BELIEVER FULL TIME!!!!! LET US WORSHIP THE SUN!!!!

[jackass-jones]

Time for me to be completely changed as a person! *just watched falsettos*

[grinchwrapsupreme]

i'm watching season 8 of dexter for the first time and i'm only on episode 2 but i'm glad they're finally tackling the whole "dexter is a psychopath and psychopaths don't have empathy" thing by acknowledging that this dude does in fact have empathy i hope to god they come to the logical conclusion

[takami-takami]

I'm so pissed the fuck off by Biden's xenophobic piece of shit bill. I fucking hate this country.

Anyway here's a video that made me smile today.