#whizzer has me tearing up

[blackcrystalball]

You know, it's so fucking disgusting how the world treated HIV/AIDS and the patients that had it.

Treating them like they had the plague??? And it still happens today, to a slightly lesser extent, but still very much prevalent and it appalls me.

I'm having a lot of thoughts that I'm struggling to put into words rn, so I will say this; educate yourself. And be kind.

Please just be kind.

[hyperfixated-on-musicals]

"Learning love is not a crime."

[Inspired by @catboyrichardkarinsky 's Quotev story]

Sexuality scared Marvin. Not in the way that a horror movie would scare a child but in the sense that opening up about it would make him want to cry. School has always been tough for Marvin.

The feeling of sitting alone, letting the rain fall onto him as he held himself where no one could see him hurt but it also felt safe. Across the soaking wet grass, Marvin spotted a boy who looked to be around his age, probably 16 or so surrounded by a group of boys.

Marvin hated confrontation so he sat back and listened.

"Fucking fag!" One of the boys shouted.

"Get the fuck away from me! What the hell did I do to you?!" The boy in the middle shouted.

"Why don't you get your boyfriend to come help you out?" Another boy taunted him.

At this stage, Marvin stood up and walked over to the group of boys, trying to get closer but avoid confrontation at the same time.

The boys kept hurling insults at this one seemingly defenseless kid.

"You know what, Whizzer? We would've almost thought you were normal if you kept the act up."

"If you don't do exactly as we say, we'll out you and your faggot boyfriend to the whole school."

The boy, Whizzer, tried to stand up for himself.

"I don't have a boyfriend. And so fucking what if I did?! It's just a guy I like."

Marvin felt slightly proud of Whizzer as he moved closer.

Crunch.

The leaves cracked under the weight of Marvin's feet, causing the slight moment of silence to be broken and for all of the boys' eyes to be on him. Marvin froze.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt..."

He did mean to.

"Do you have a problem?" One of the boys stepped forward.

Marvin gulped, trying to ignore the anxiety building up in his chest.

"Whizzer, right?"

"Yeah..."

Marvin leaned in closer to Whizzer, his lips close to but not touching Whizzer's ear.

"On three, we run," Marvin whispered.

One.

Steady breathing.

Two.

Don't think of the guys that want you dead.

Three.

Running as fast as they both could, Whizzer and Marvin made it to the safety of the back of the school. It was the only place that Marvin felt comfortable in so it was something big for him to introduce his safe space to a stranger.

"Are you okay?" Marvin asked as soon as he got his breath back.

"They want me dead. I want me dead too."

"Huh?"

"I'm gay... They want to tell the whole school, practically sentencing me to death or at least banishment from this school due to isolation," Whizzer mumbles his explanation. "So, yeah, I'd rather kill myself than have people know what I am. And that isn't some joke. I'm not just saying that to lighten the mood. I... I've... Why am I even telling you this?"

"I'm gay too. I haven't told anyone. Not even my parents know," Marvin confessed.

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"You're not like... playing a trick on me and planning to humiliate me, are you?"

Marvin frowned at how cautious Whizzer was being but on the other hand, he couldn't really blame him. Those boys tortured him for being queer.

"It's just... I've tried to kill myself. The bullying became too much to handle. I couldn't take it."

Whizzer started tearing up. His world was falling apart and all Marvin could do to help was pick up the broken pieces. They skipped school that day. Growing old together was all that seemed to matter to both of them.

[i-am-columbus]

Wow. You didn't just fall fast, you fell hard, too. You weren't actually expecting this friendship to work out, were you? Real or not, he's only talking to you because of the play. You think he'll stick around when that's over? You have nothing in common! And have you forgotten about your seizures? I'm surprised even your sweetheart bothers putting up with it! It's so WEIRD!! You know you've basically ruined all of her other friendships. Whizzer would never pick YOU over everyone else. Get real

(Marvin began to clench and unclench his fists)... no.. no, he would.. he.. he wanted to teach me raquetball and play chess.. and.. he cares.. s- sweetheart cares.. someone cares.. someone has to- I- I thought someone finally did.. I-..

(He started breathing heavily and tears fell down his cheeks) Shit.. I hve to g..

(Marvin locked himself in a bathroom stall and started giggling)

[fangirling-throughlife]

I knew I was going to cry watching Falsettos (which is why I decided to watch it in the afternoon as opposed to after dinner to get a decent sleep before work tomorrow). I sobbed for the last 35 minutes almost non-stop (the end of Act 1 when Marvin has his big revelation also hits hard, but those were abundant but silent tears).

I can't even start to explain how amazing Christian Borle is in this. The way he portrays his love and fear, the tears in his eyes, his wobbly voice at some points, just the small gestures that make it so much more heartbreaking.

What I think really broke me, though, was Anthony. Jason's relationship with Whizzer is sweet, and even though he's the man for whom his dad left his family, he just loves him. His praying for Whizzer to get better is such a good portrayal of what it is like to see someone you love slowly dying at that age (or at least, it was scarily similar to my reaction). He's a kid in an unusual situation who ends up guiding his actions by the love he feels for his family.

P.S.: when they name the four of them at the Bar Mitzvah, I can't say I started sobbing, because I'd been at it for 15 minutes straight (heavy, ugly sobs), but I swear my heart stopped for a second.

[phierecycled]

I don’t know if you know the West End version of More Racquetball/Holding to the Ground but I just. I have to scream about it.

Whizzer just straight up collapses, he passes out and just is lying there on the stage until Marvin notices. Mendel coming on stage and helping Marvin carry Whizzer to the ambulance had me in TEARS. Like genuinely. And Trina???? Trina being the one to talk to Charlotte, and Charlotte just is reassuring her. Whizzer not being able to breathe and Marvin freaking out and yelling for Charlotte who has to come on stage and literally pull him away from Whizzer and then Trina standing and watching Whizzer sleep and putting her hand on his arm and just almost guarding him before she eventually leaves him to get some rest??? Broke me. I’m broken.

West End is the only version of this show ever, actually.

eXCUSE ME????!??? I watched a boot of the west end production once but it was no less than two years ago and I can’t remember much except for March of the Falsettos, What More Can I Say (still obsessing over Whizzer in glasses) and What Would I Do (also doesn’t Whizzer collapse there too and Jason says this really broken ‘Whizzer?!’ Which made me sob?).

I wonder if there still is a boot out there cause now I really want to see this and make myself cry.

[queer-and-dear-books]

Title: A Little Bit Country

Author: Brian D. Kennedy

Genre: YA Fiction | Drama | Romance | Friendship | Music | LGBTQ+

Content Warnings: Homophobia | Racism

Overall Rating: 8.4/10

Personal Opinion: For Luke Barnes, country music ruined his family’s life. For Emmett Maguire, country music is his life. These two boys could not be more opposite but by chance, they both end up working at Wanda World where they meet and slowly fall for each other. Sweet and romantic with a side of celebrity scandal and mystery, this book will enrapture all your senses as you read it. I will admit that I mostly found it romantic from one character’s end though.

Do I Own This Book? Nope.

Spoilers Below For My Likes & Dislikes:

Likes:

- Emmett and Luke have good chemistry together. Mostly, I felt it from Luke’s end. The way Emmett fully supported Luke’s dream of being a chef and made him promise not to give up on it was just so sweet. And calling him an artist on top of that, I felt that.

- I love Aunt Karen. She was so unabashedly there for Emmett no matter what and wholeheartedly supported his dreams to be a singer. I hope she finds happiness of her own regardless of what shape or form that takes.

- Vanessa is also great. She’s such a supportive friend to Luke and I know it must’ve been hard for her to be around someone who could never love her the way she loved him once. But she was still there for him. She got him his new job, she drove him home when he was drowning his sorrows in alcohol, and she stayed with him even when he came out. I hope she finds happiness too.

- Jessie and Avery are great too! Country music really is overwhelmingly straight and white. So having Jessie (Chinese) and Avery (Black) advocate for themselves as having a place in country music is awe-inspiring to me. I love how much they love it even if it doesn’t love them at times. That shows their passion and dedication to their craft.

- When Emmett sang “Dream Cowboy” instead of Wanda Jean’s other songs, I felt so proud of him for choosing to be himself. He’s still young and he has time to hone his craft. He will make it big in his own time, I’m sure of it.

- Cesar and the other chefs at Grandma’s Cupboard are all wonderful human beings for welcoming Luke so easily into their kitchen and teaching him how to cook. I love when older folks support younger folks with no ulterior motives. And the fact that Luke got a job as a prep cook for another kitchen after quitting Wanda World thanks to Cesar brought a tear to my eye.

- The twist that it was Wanda Jean who gave Verna Rose the locket and wrote those love songs was very well done. I saw it coming a mile away too but I still loved it because I could feel the love between those women. I just knew in my soul they were once in love. And it makes me so sad that Verna gave it up to live a “normal” life. When Wanda Jean released her new song though, coming out, I was just on the brink of tears. Truly, I felt that queer joy.

- The ending is so cute. But my absolute favorite part about it though was Emmett holding a poster of himself to give to Luke. That is adorable and hilarious at the same time. And the fact that Luke wants it signed too is just so cute. Like, I love when people are the biggest fans of their partner’s work. As they should be!

Dislikes:

- Fuck Grady’s cheating ass and Cassidy’s complicity. How dare she look like Carrie Underwood when “Before He Cheats” exists. Mostly I’m just mad that Aunt Karen got hurt. On the other hand, Jessie and Avery got something good out of this so… yeah. 

- Fuck Orrin too! Yes, he gave Emmett the opportunity of a lifetime but he also told the kid to pretend to be straight? I mean, I saw it coming so whatever but it still makes me cringe. You’re acting like this in the 2020s? Yikes.

- Mostly fuck Whizzer and Bulldog though. They showed up early enough that they set the tone for the town and it was just gross for me.

- I’m going to be honest, I didn’t feel the chemistry much from Emmett’s end. I felt like he was only in love with Luke because we were being told that. I didn’t really see what Emmett saw in Luke besides his looks. I felt like I was missing substance. Like Emmett never got to try any of Luke’s food! Luke never really talked about himself to Emmett! Plus the cold way Luke treated Emmett in public just left a sour taste in my mouth. How can you be in love with someone like that?

[elizabethvaughns]

❀ fic masterlist ❀

*link is to ao3

☆ falsettos

untitled whizzvin dialogue fic (in french and in english) (G): whizzvin. angst. dead!whizzer. script format. references to in trousers. (oneshot, 1091 words)

untitled marvin angst (G): brief mentions of whizzvin and trindel, introspection, angst, marvin dies at the end. (+ bonus you get to see my 10th grade handwriting although idk how much of a bonus that is) (oneshot, 415 words)

|-> posted to ao3! five seconds* (G): marvin reflects on his life during his final few moments. major character death. (one-shot, 415 words)

you learn to count the quiet wins (an hour with no unprompted tears)*: marvin learns to cope with whizzer's death. major character death. (one-shot, 880 words)

☆ if/then

and we somehow find each other, even so* (T): five times lucas and david noticed each other but didn’t end up talking, and one time they did (beth-verse). (lucas/david, lucas & beth, beth & lucas & kate, kate/anne (very background, only mentioned)) (6 chapters, complete, 11078 words)

fate has found us* (T): kate and anne meet thanks to blind internet dating and a healthy dash of fate. (kate/anne) (neither/both verses) (2 chapters, 2693 words)

love's a boy(who loves you)* (T): in which lucas and david, going six months strong, witness their best friends fall into a relationship of their own. (lucas/david, background josh/beth) (beth-verse) (pt.3 of and we somehow find each other, even so) (one-shot, 1761 words)

all i lost along the way is all i had to lose to find this day* (G): beth dreams of her alternate life as liz, major character death (but it's minor and he's alive in the "canon" verse of the story it's just a dream) (beth/josh) (beth-verse) (one-shot, 1316 words)

with her, i feel like i belong* (G): josh talks to david about that beautiful woman on the subway. (josh & david, josh/liz) (liz-verse) (one-shot, 920 words)

untitled lucas/david fluff piece (G): anniversaries, lucas and david have a dog, david cannot cook (lucas/david) (any verse but i was thinking liz-verse when i was writing this sometime between "bwm" and "ihy") (one-shot, 410 words)

every hour of love delayed doesn't mean a minute this day* (G): kate grows up believing that the man she'll marry will be her soulmate. except, after meeting her betrothed, who's rude, abrasive, and completely offputting, she's not sure what to believe anymore. when she catches sight of a beautiful dancer at the ballet, her faith in love and fate is restored. (kate/anne) (neither verse because this is a nobility au) (one-shot, 2045 words)

who'd believe that we two would end up as lovers?* (T): first meeting. soulmates au (no colors until first touch). i get weirdly political for like two paragraphs straight bi. canon mcd mentioned. (lucas/david, background josh/liz) (liz-verse au) (one-shot, 1470 words)

the thing that's expected (the same dull cliché)* (T): three times lucas said ‘i love you’ to someone (and one time that someone said it back). (lucas/david) (past lucas/beth, lucas/omc) (beth-verse) (one-shot, 1385 words) (pt.4 of and we somehow find each other, even so)

you get that we're connected (i feel like you get me)* (T): david and lucas have their first date at the park. (beth-verse) (lucas/david, background kate/anne) (pt.2 of and we somehow find each other, even so) (one-shot, 1678 words)

somewhere there's a world where you and i can still be friends* (T): beth and lucas meet and talk it out after the emergency plane landing. (beth-verse) (beth & lucas, beth & kate) (one-shot, 2294 words)

it must be may* (G): liz visits josh's grave one spring afternoon. major character death (liz-verse) (one-shot, 645 words)

we can see the way the pieces work and make it something more* (G): four months after her divorce from anne, kate runs into her ex-wife at a get-together with friends. (liz-verse post-canon) (kate/anne, mentioned lucas/david and liz/josh) (one-shot, 1312 words)

a rainy day in* (T): it's september and flu season is in full swing. and both lucas and david catch the flu. (liz-verse pre-"i hate you") (lucas/david, liz/josh mentioned) (one-shot, 1459 words)

a dream is a soft place to land* (T): elizabeth nelson, née vaughn, is a small-town waitress who’s always had dreams of making it big as a city planner. the thing that’s keeping her from achieving those dreams? her dick of a husband, oren. and, as it turns out, this baby that’s on the way. still, the most unexpected things in life are always the most beautiful, aren’t they? (waitress au) (elizabeth/josh, lucas/david, kate/anne) (8 chapters, in progress, 10292 words)

anything you do is alright (yes, it's alright)* (T): a rogue football brings with it a million new possibilities. (no verse) (lucas/david au) (oneshot, 626 words)

we live in these collisions (these accidents arise)*: lucas accidentally texts the wrong number when drunk. who knew that one drunk text could go so far? (liz-verse) (canon divergent but not really) (lucas/david, mentioned liz/josh) (oneshot, 2806 words)

[spiltscribbles]

Fic Writers Interview

I was tagged by the gorgeous souls @silversickles @mooncat457writing @omgcmere @bi-disaster-fsotus Thank you so SO much babies!

~*~

name: I’m Len and I’m also  LupinMoons on AO3, though knowing me that’ll probs change soon enough RIP me and my dicey head

fandoms: The two main ships I write for are definitely Wolfstar and Firstprince, though I’ve got a bunch for Pynch as well— but yeah we’ll not discuss that fandom experience lmfao

where you post: So I’ve got a BUNCH of one shots ranging from like 2k to literally 10k on my writing tag here on Tumblr, Spilt Ink, but obviously the more polished up ones can be found on my AO3!!

most popular one-shot: Okay that depends I guess? On AO3 by hits and kudos it’s THIS little thing I wrote for Malec in my shadowhunters days, but on Tumblr I reckon it’s This one I wrote for Andreil?

most popular multi-chapter: So by Kudos it’s Look At You, Looking At Me which is a completed Amy/Laurie Two-shot, and by hits it’s hands down Come Back, Even As A Shadow, Even As A Dream, which is my beloved Firstprince Amnesia FIC that I fully intend on completing once my mental health is a bit more tolerable and I’m at a less busy time in my life.

favorite story I’ve written so far: This is so awks j becs this question can be taken in so many directions, and I’m always a self conscious little prick, but I guess probably

Head In The Clouds, But My Gravity’s Centered for Pynch because I think I really did capture their canon voices pretty well and it’s perfect winter vibes tbh 

I’ll Breathe You In, If You Hold Me Close for Wolfstar because it’s such a guilty pleasure thing, and I remember being so terrified and embarrassed while writing it becs Victoria is such a remarkable author for Wolfstar and it was a belated Bday gift for her, but I think I had fun with it and that’s all you can ask for tbh 

and lastly The One With The Marauders for it’s comedic value and how light hearted and fun it is to write and I get such amazing support for it by lovely souls whether on discord or Tumblr or AO3, notably RJ who’s like one of the top tear Wolfstar writers IMHO and has always given me ideas for it and just been a sweetheart<3

fic you were nervous to post: Okay this is two tear, becs apparently I don’t know how to make decisions lmfao. But like nervous over being judged is definitely from Metamorphosis which was ALSO a bday gift, and I wrote it for that dumb bitch Beth who is literally the most profound Firstprince author and author in general tbh and just beautiful inside and out! And I just remember staying up sprinting with Kathleen and shaking becs i was sure whatever I came up with would be pure shit and she’d hate it, but I think it was actually a catalyst which helped build the foundation of our friendship and she’s literally like one of the only people in my life that I trust wholeheartedly and love endlessly and I’m happy i ended up just going for it.

However, if we’re talking about like nervous to break into a fandom, it was hands down,  I Tried Writing Your Name In The Rain for wolfstar, because I’ve literally loved the idea of them since I was a fucking child— like when I thought I was still straight bahahaha— and There is countless masterpieces within the Wolfstar fandom and it’s so fucking huge and immense and rich with substance and beauty and I love them so much and I was so afraid of ruining their characters and dynamic but I’m so thankful that i’ve found so many amazing people who helped me get more confident with my take on Wolfstar.

how do you choose your titles: They’re almost always a lyric from either a favorite poem or the song I was listening most to while writing. Like I can tell you right now that the next thing I post will definitely have a Stevie Nicks lyric as a title lmfao!

do you outline: Outlines tbh intimidate me, and feel a bit stifling, but it’s definitely something I want to start doing because I’ve got two long ass Multi-chaps planned for 2021, and right now it’s just scrambled scenes written on this messy ass doc bahaha. 

complete: Oh lmfao I will not be posting each fucking one shot I’ve written, but ya’ll can find literally everything I’ve ever written on either my AO3 or Spilt Ink Tag, every ship I’ve written for are Wolfstar, Firstprince, Pynch, Percabeth, Kit/Ty, Malec, Jimon, Hamliza, Andreil, Dair, Steroline, Jackie/Hyde, Peter/Jason from BAPO, Marvin/Whizzer from Falsettos and maybe a couple others?

in progress: So I actually have quite a few things in the works, and I’ll just mention the ones that are close to being published.

Firstprince secret snowflake gift posted on Christmas day

Wolfstar secret snowflake gift posted on christmas day 

Wolfstar train ride one shot in January

Wolfstar next one shot for Friends AU before January

Wolfstar selkie Au in 2021

Tag some folks: So a bunch of people I was thinking of were already tagged, and I’m sorta not in a great mood but please if you’re interested in this challenge just consider yourself tagged! And tag me when you post and just have fun bubbyy!!!!

[castielstiddies]

Okay so I'm balling over this goddamn song and destiel and I need to let you all know why so here it is: An Analysis of the Lyrics and Why They Fit Destiel Perfectly.

I just want to point out that Andrew Rannells (Whizzer) and Christian Borle (Marvin) perform this perfectly and I love them.

This is a very long post so be warned before you press that button.

It's important to have context so we can connect these two pairings together properly and bring more meaning out of this song like it deserves. So the main part of the synopsis says:

"Marvin, after Whizzer’s death, reflects on their relationship and how loving Whizzer has changed his life. Whizzer’s spirit come back, dressed as he was in the first scene, both commenting on how they changed each others lives and on the future they were robbed of."

Now let me just change some words here and we'll see how we all feel:

"Dean, after Cas’s death, reflects on their relationship and how loving Cas has changed his life. Cas’s spirit come back, dressed in his trenchcoat, both commenting on how they changed each others lives and on the future they were robbed of."

Are you crying yet? Don't worry we haven't even seen the lyrics yet.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"[MARVIN]" Now I'd like to start off by saying that Marvin has been with both men and women and he's struggled with his own internalized homophobia and has found it difficult to openly love Whizzer throughout the show. The parallels are clear between Marvin and Dean.

"What would I do If I had not met you?" You can think of this two ways. One - What would Dean have done if Cas had not met him in Hell and saved him? Still getting tortured or more likely torturing others, an experience that he hated and wished to never live through again. The second (and I think better) way to think of this line is, when Dean met Cas on earth. How meeting Cas changed his life forever, opening him up to a whole new world of having someone who thought that he deserved to be saved and who gave up an entire army for him. Who proved his love and loyalty to him time and time again. So what would Dean have done if he had never met Cas on Earth? What if Cas never reached out to him after saving Dean from Hell? A little bit later in this verse Marvin sings...

"There are no answers"

...in regards to this question. Because there really are no answers to what would Dean have done without Cas because we simply can't imagine it. The same goes for Dean. Cas has changed his life so much that it's impossible to imagine what his life would be like without Cas.

"Who would I blame my life on?" When Christian Borle delivers this line on stage it's said with a small, sad laugh. Similar to how Dean uses humour to hide his feelings, Marvin does too.

"Once I was told That all men get what they deserve Who the hell then threw this curve?" Despite everything Cas has done wrong, Dean and all of us know that Cas did not get what he deserved when the Empty took him. We believe he deserved to be happy with Dean and Dean thinks so too.

"There are no answers But who would I be If you had not been my friend?" The word 'friend' here is what really ties it to Dean for me because they were friends first, they helped eachother through thick and thin before love started to seep in as well. Sure there was attraction from the beginning but it's about the fact that Dean's only shown to have one true, close best friend, and that's Cas.

"You're the only one One out of a thousand others Only one my child would allow" Alright so this line I did struggle to link to destiel, I was thinking about Jack and Claire but they're Cas's children. But what if we think of the 'child' as Sam. Dean raised Sam so it's easy to see him as his 'child' and it's important to Dean that Sam accepts the people that he's friends with. This is even more important with Cas because Dean may want to have a relationship with him in the future and also Cas lives in the bunker... with them. Dean definitaly needs Sam's permission if he wants Cas to live in their home. It's clear that Cas and Sam are the people Dean cares about the most and to have Sam 'allow' Cas to stay in their home and share their space is something that's really important to Dean.

"When I'm having fun You're the one I wanna talk to" Cue every gif of Dean smiling while hanging out with Cas or talking to Cas over the phone.

"Where have you been?" Where has Cas been for all of Dean's life? He completes Dean, builds up his self-confidence and assures him that he is wanted, needed and important. Just where has Cas been for all of Dean's life?

"Where are you now? So on this note there's a beautiful key change into the next part and it just makes it so much more profound. (Also Dean has no gosh darn clue where Cas is, who tf is the Empty?)

"Who would I be If I had not loved you?" This moment is fucking beautiful. It's Dean finally speaking his truth and telling Cas, wherever he is, that he loved him. He loved Cas and that changed him for the better, made him into the person he is today.

"How would I know what love is?" Dean has never been told so openly and honestly by anyone about how he is important, he's worthwhile and that he deserves to live a happy and full life, no one has done that besides Cas. No one has shown their loyalty and love to him in the most blatant and profound ways possible, giving up an entire army, rebelling against their own family, sticking by his side no matter what. Staying. How would Dean know what true love is without Cas constantly showing him what love means and what it feels like be loved fully and truly. Of course Dean has experienced love before, he's been in at least 2 other relationships (that I can think of off of the top of my head) but he's never felt love like the way he does with Cas.

"God only knows, too soon I'll remember your faults Meanwhile, though, it's tears and schmaltz" Of course as Dean relives memories of Cas, he'll be reminded of all of his faults, all of the things he did wrong even when he thought that what he was doing was right (Leviathians, Lucifer). But for now, Dean will breakdown and cry and grieve but most of all he'll remember Cas and how much he loved him.

"[WHIZZER]" Alright so Whizzer is a character who has never been shy about his sexuality, about how much he likes being with men. Similar to Cas who simply doesn't understand why people hide who they're attracted to until Dean came along and taught him differently.

"All your life you've wanted men" I like to think that this line applies to both Cas and Dean and I'll explore that with the next two lines.

"And when you got it up to have them Who knew it could end your life?" This is getting a bit meta now. When Dean was so very close to finally speaking his truth on screen, he died. (And in some versions he does speak his truth but that's another story). There was no reason for Dean to die in the finale, who knew that when he finally shared that he loved another man he would be killed for no reason two episodes later.

This line can also be in reference to Cas's experience. When Cas was finally able to tell Dean that he loved him, when he finally gained to courage to not only share his feelings but also to have his happiness ripped away from him, he died. Dean and Cas both knew what was going to happen when Cas said those words. It wasn't a surprise, yet it still felt like one.

"[MARVIN] I left my kid and left my wife" This is the moment when I could not stop crying and thinking about destiel when listening to this song. Dean left Lisa and (totally not) his son in season 5.

"To be with you" Of course it's a little bit of a stretch to say that Dean left Lisa and Ben solely for Cas (expecially since I think Dean realised his love for Cas in Season 7-8 so the timeline wouldn't make sense for me) but I like to think of this line from the perspective of Dean grieving Cas and looking back on how Cas changed his life. Of course he would remember that he left Lisa and Ben in order to be with Cas because that was 10 years ago and the memory is now muddled with grief, time and his now unwavering love for Cas. "To be insulted by such handsome men" This line just reminds me of the scene in the car when Cas and Dean are arguing (you know what I'm on about)

"[WHIZZER] Do you regret—?" Cas is asking Dean, do you regret loving me? Do you regret letting me into your life? Do you regret our friendship? It's beautiful to think that Cas feels vulnerable in this moment, he thinks that Dean regrets letting him into his life.

"[MARVIN] I'd do it again I'd like to believe that I'd do it again And again and again..." Now Dean's the one to build Cas back up, to assure him that he does not regret a thing. He's building up Cas's confidence and supporting him just like Cas has been doing for Dean.

"And What more can I say? [WHIZZER] What more can I say?" They're both lost for words, what do they say now? They know that they love eachother and they know that they won't be able to be together because of Cas's deal. What do you say in that situation?

"[MARVIN] How am I to face tomorrow?" Dean still has to continue living, without Cas. In 15x19 he's drowning himself in beer as he grieves the loss of Cas. How can he face tomorrow after Cas has confessed his love for him and then died in a matter of minutes? How can he face tomorrow knowing that saying that he loves Dean, that by having Dean know that someone loves him, is the happiest moment Cas has ever felt?

"[BOTH] After being screwed out of today" Haha screw...

"Tell me what's in store" They're still looking to eachother for guidance and support despite the distance between them.

"[MARVIN] Yes, I'd beg or steal or borrow" Dean's turning to things that he can control in order to deal with his grief. Despite the finale ending I think it's widely accepted in the Destiel fandom that Dean would work night and day until he got Cas back from the empty.

"If I could hold you for One hour more [WHIZZER] One hour more [MARVIN] One hour more [WHIZZER] One hour more [BOTH] One hour, one hour more" Now that they know that they both love eachother, that they could have had everything they wanted if they just told one another. They're begging all of the higher powers that there are that they could enjoy what could have been for one hour. Simply relishing in the fact that they are happy and in love and that they are both wanted.

"[MARVIN] What would I do [WHIZZER] What would I do [MARVIN] If I had not seen you? [WHIZZER] If I had not seen you? [BOTH] Who would I feast my eyes on?" Once again I'm just thinking about the idea of that 'one hour more' and how they would constantly compliment one another and freely look at each other without shame or embarrassment and to just allow themselves to have everything that they wanted.

"Once I was told That good men get better with age [MARVIN] We're just gonna skip that stage" This can be seen two ways, one is that Cas simply cannot age and Dean is once again using humour to hide his grief. Or my favourite version which is that Dean never got to grow old with Cas, (I strongly believe that Cas would allow his vessel to grow old with Dean). Dean wanted to live a normal life, he wanted to get a job and stop hunting but most of all he wanted to grow old with Cas.

If you watch the live version of this song here: https://youtu.be/ZscL4LOLP7Y

You'll hear how Christian Borle's voice cracks when delivering this line. The rest of the lyrics are repeats of lines that I've already covered.

And I'm done boys. Thank you for sticking with this very very long post but I needed to get this out somewhere.

I highly recommend watching Falsettos for yourself if you want to get a better insight into how Marvin/Whizzer and Destiel compare or if you just like the look of it.

[captaincleverusernamehere]

welcome back to Me Watching Things For The First Time At 1 AM And Crying! this episode: Falsettos

oh dear god. a bootleg came up in my recommended on youtube so i watched it having known absolutely Nothing about it except the first song, which i did not know the context of (though i guess there kind of wasn’t any so..). it started, i liked it, it’s funny, the songs are fast, it’s very gay AND jewish, which is just about anything i could want from a musical :) christian borle is very pretty, the break down song was really good, and then there’s act two.

i very much relate to jason’s bar mitzvah resentment, and there are lesbian neighbors now. so far so good. the baseball song was great, whizzer(?) i haven’t a clue how to spell his name, but he’s back. and now he has (what i assume was?) aids. and then i’m just sad for the whole last like half hour. the bar mitzvah happened and i was tearing up the whole time, and then the song between marvin and whizzer. the part that broke me was when they pulled a rectangle out of the block thing and set it up, and it took me just a little bit too long to realize what it was, then it snapped it my brain, then i cried, and then it was over.

overall 10/10 no crying till the end, which is good 👍 but you need fast word processing bc lots of singing over each other (in a good way lol) and some parts are just kinda fast yknow? i loved it :)

[the-arg0naut]

Unfounded

so i came up with this idea about logan comforting virge with straight (gay?) facts bc that really helps with my anxiety, and so i told a friend and they really liked it and yknow im real self indulgent so here

~~~

Opening night. Oh God, opening night. Why did I let Roman convince me to do this?

It was Friday night and, of course, the theatre was packed. Everyone wants to see Falsettos, right? Well, Virgil should’ve taken that into consideration when he accepted the role of Whizzer, because now he was in his dressing room with who-knows-how-long until places and just freaking out. 

Everything is going to go wrong, I’m going to forget my lines, I’m going to trip onstage, I’m going to go on late, lights are going to fall from the batons, I’ll forget how to bow because they just choreographed the curtain call today, why did they choreograph that so last minute, I’m going to fuck up so bad-

His mental rambling was interrupted by Logan, his stage manager, opening his door. 

“Hey, Virge, 10 minutes til- hey are you alright?”

It was all Virgil could do to not start screaming or crying or both, so he settled for nodding really fast and turning away.

Logan saw through this and gently shut the door behind him, walking into the room. He sat in the chair besides Virgil’s and just looked at him. “It’s just me, Virgil. What’s wrong?”

Virgil finally broke and started rambling to his friend. “Logan what if I mess up? Or forget my lines? Oh god, I’m going to forget all my lines and all the lyrics and I’m just going to freeze…”

“Virge…”

“...and everybody’s going to look at me and oh god what if I go on late and everyone else has to improv because of me…”

“Virge…”

“...or what if something falls or someone gets sick or hurt or oh god oh god oh god-”

“Virgil!” Logan grabbed his hands as Virge just looked at him, tears streaming down his face.“Virgil, I’m going to ask you a series of questions, and I need you to answer them honestly and simply. Can you do that?”

Virgil nodded.“How long have you working on this show?”

Virgil thought for a moment before replying, “Two months.”

“And when did you say you started working on your lines?”

“The moment I got the book in my hand.” “So If you’ve been working diligently every day at your lines, which I know you have, then do you suppose that you’re going to forget them now, after two months of studying them?”

“Well, I guess not…”

“And who’s letting you know when you need to go on? And don’t say yourself, you know we’ve discussed this in rehearsal.”

“The other actors.”

“Right. Now, tell me Virge; do you think your fellow actors are going to mess up their lines or their cues?”

“No, of course not. They’re amazing.”

“So if they’re not going to mess up, and they’re giving you your cues, then it can be assumed that you’re not going to mess up either, yes?”

“I mean…”

“Virgil, who secured those lights to their batons?”

“Mr. Sanders.”

“You trust Mr. Sanders, right?”

“Well yeah, he’s my favorite teacher.”

“So if he set all those lights up, do you think he would do a, as you say, ‘janky’ job on it?”

“No.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Because he’s been doing it for so long.”

“So it would be expected that nothing is going to fall, right? You should know, as a former tech kid, that everything is set up with not one, but two safety cords?”

“Right, yeah, but-”

“There is no ‘but’ Virgil. These unfounded fears are just that: unfounded. I know you’re terrified. Being really honest right now, I’m pretty scared too. But it’s opening night, and nerves are a part of this business. But you’re amazing at this job, and in all my time being your stage manager, you’ve been probably the easiest to work with. I love Roman, but he can be a bit… demanding.”

Virgil laughed. “That’s the understatement of the century. ‘Chocolate covered skittles every day in my dressing room or I walk!’”

Logan laughed with him. “Yes, it was quite difficult to find someone who would commit such a culinary catastrophe.”

“Or when Remus wouldn’t stop drawing penises in the crossover?”

“Oh my goodness, that Sharpie just would not come out! We ended up just having to paint over it.”

“And then he had to be under constant watch-”

“Yes indeed, and he very much did not like that. But regardless of whatever sugary setback or phallic problem we came across, we always pulled through. And I know you’re going to do great tonight.” He glanced at his watch. “We’ve got 5 minutes until places. That’s enough time to fix your foundation, right?”

Virgil smirked. “I could do it in two.”

Logan rolled his eyes. “Okay, show-off. Break a leg out there, Virge.”

“Or get AIDS.”

“Technicalities…”

“Get out of here, nerd.”

Logan stuck his tongue out at him and went off to his stage manager booth as Virgil fixed his makeup. After all the tear stains were sufficiently covered with foundation, Virgil set everything up to leave, but paused for a moment to look himself in the eye. “Just unfounded fears…”

He took a deep breath and, with a confidence he hadn’t felt before, got set in places.

“Unfounded.”

[hazelandglasz]

you're like, my all time favorite klaine fluff writer!! do you still take prompt? Cause i have one! Idk if youve done this yet but, here it is. The person playing my love interest missed their cue and left me waiting for at least 30 seconds in dead silence so you just ran out from backstage and started acting and you’re doing a better job than them wow

On AO3

Kurt is going to strangle Sam.

If he survives this shame and embarrassment, that is.

Yes, if he survives this moment that won’t seem to end, Kurt is going to find Sam and strangle him with his guitar.

How hard is it, he wonders, to not miss his cue to step in and respond to Kurt’s singing?

After all, it’s not like they rehearsed and rehearsed, to make sure that no one would end up in this very situation.

Kurt gulps, facing the audience, and repeats his last sentence. It’s good that the scene is one of bickering; it allows him to inject just a little bit of the venom he feels building up in his throat into his character.

From his spot, he sees movement in the wings, but it’s not Sam’s blond head that appears on stage, immediately responding.

No, it’s…

Oh no.

It’s Anderson, the props manager.

The man who had stunned Kurt silent the first time he saw him, but since they started rehearsing, has had very little interaction with him. If he had had more, Kurt would be somehow desensitized to Anderson’s… well, everything.

Kurt pulls himself back together just in time to continue the back and forth happening between their characters, but he’s not entirely focused on what is going on between Whizzer and Marvin.

Not just because his crush on the props manager is growing tenfold, no. But also because…

Because the man is a damn good actor, and singer too. 

Probably better than Sam, and by a long shot.

Why were they wasting such talent backstage when Kurt could have had this man—um, when the troupe could have had this man rocking the stage?

Seriously.

Blaine hits all the notes, and emotes just the right amount—okay, maybe just a little too much at times for Kurt’s taste, but it fits the character—and he knows his body, he knows the stage, it’s…

If Kurt wasn’t the professional that he is and wasn’t a dedicated actor, he would just sit and watch.

Let’s be honest here, Kurt could sit and watch Blaine doing whatever he would wish to do and it would be a treat, but to see him in motion, inhabiting his character, penetrating—

Nope, bad thoughts coming in.

Not the time for the gutter (unfortunately).

No, now he has to watch Blaine-Whizzer leave the stage angry while he gathers himself and launches into his solo.

When he leaves the stage, Kurt returns to his dressing room to change his costume and contemplates his thoughts.

What an encounter.

He still wants to kill Sam, but thank God for Blaine.

And thank GOD for Blaine, in a general fashion.

Just as he finishes buttoning his shirt, a knock on the door pulls him back into the present.

Kurt goes to open the door and can’t help the way his lips stretch into a smile and his eyes widen at the sight of Blaine.

“Ah, Kurt. There you are.” Blaine sounds slightly breathless, and Kurt pushes with all of his will the thoughts and images it brings to his mind. “I have been looking for you everywhere.”

“I was here all along.”

Blaine’s flushed cheeks darken. “I should have thought of that.” He makes a small grimace that Kurt wants to brush away.

(Preferably with his lips, but he’s not picky.)

“I just wanted to apologize for Sam,” Blaine continues, probably unaware that Kurt is horribly objectifying him. “He got hit with a ladder just as he got ready for his cue and I barely had a moment to find a solution.”

“Thankfully, you were here,” Kurt says before Blaine can speak himself into exhaustion. “I really don’t know what I would have done if you had not appeared on that stage when you did.”

Blaine smiles, almost shy, before returning his eyes to Kurt’s. “I know I’m not as good as Sam, but I hope I won’t embarrass you for the rest of tonight’s show.”

“Oh, but you’re better than him.” Kurt bites on his lips the moment the words are out. “I didn’t mean to, um…”

“Insult your co-star?” Blaine completes Kurt’s sentence, but there is the shadow of a smirk now on his face. 

“Precisely. It may be very forward of me, but, I—I,” Kurt gulps and gives himself a mental kick to keep going, “I won’t have any difficulty pretending to fall in love with you all over again in the second act.”

Blaine bats his eyelashes at Kurt before adjusting his collar. He licks his lips and takes a step forward—not impossibly close to Kurt, but still closer. “I won’t mind being your true love.”

“On stage?”

Blaine tentatively reaches for Kurt’s hand, bringing it to his lips when Kurt puts his hand in his. “That too.”

Kurt finds himself blushing, and wonders when his life turned into an Austen novel, but he really can’t find it in his heart to care.

“Oh.”

“Will you accompany me to the after-party?”

“I would love that.”

“Kurt, back on stage in five!”

Blaine lets go of Kurt’s hand, but he seems just as dissatisfied with this situation as Kurt feels.

“See you for act two,” Blaine says with a wink, before turning on his heels, immediately grabbed by Tina for a fitting into Whizzer’s outfit for the second part.

Blaine still looks over his shoulder to smile at Kurt before following her.

Kurt closes the door to his room and lets a squealing sound out.

No, he definitely did not see the evening turning into this.

But he really, really doesn’t mind.

---

Sam ends up with Blaine’s job, clearly relieved not to have the weight of the show on his shoulders, especially once the reviews for the night come out, clamoring for Kurt and Blaine’s chemistry and emotions.

“Particularly in their last scene together, Tony nominee Kurt Hummel and Accessories Director turned co-star Blaine Anderson managed to be the cutest couple to ever grace the stage of the April Rhodes Theater, bringing tears to this seasoned journalist’s eyes.”

The entire cast cheers to that when their director reads it at dawn, all of them looking exhausted but happy.

Kurt would cheer too, but he is otherwise busy.

As in, his mouth is busy getting acquainted with Blaine’s, so, you know.

Priorities.

They have them.

[iridescentkippen]

here is a really bad thing i wrote at two in the morning when i should have been sleeping. i don't really know what it is and no one asked for it, but do what you want with it! enjoy hhh :/ The symptoms start approximately one month, two weeks, three days, six hours, twenty-four minutes, and seventy-seven seconds after Whizzer's death. But it's not like Marvin's counting. It starts with him getting dizzy and needing to sit down. He tells himself to drink a glass of water and get over it. Anything to keep himself from submitting to the symptoms. That night he lies in bed, mumbling words to himself about how there's nothing wrong with him. And he believes it until the first fall. He's in the middle of making lunch for Jason when his knees give out and suddenly the floor has come up underneath him. That night he whispers to himself to man up and to stop letting it win. His words do nothing. He doesn't know how to tell anyone. Just a week earlier Charlotte had joked that, oh maybe he was "safe because it had been so long since Whizzer's death"- so how does he tell her she was wrong? How in the world will he ever tell Jason? Losing Whizzer was one thing, and it took him a bit to accept it, but Marvin? Jason might never move on. So he decides not to tell him anything, at least for now. Mendel is the first to notice something is wrong four days later. The two are waiting for Trina and Jason so the four of them can go get dinner when he mentions how pale Marvin is. It catches him off guard, enough that he almost feels the tears in his eyes spill over. But Marvin says he's fine and that night curses himself to sleep. He decides to tell Trina a week later. By this point, the falls are daily and the fevers have spiked up several times. He tells her they need to talk before sitting her down and asking how she'd feel about having to take care of Jason on the weekends as well as the weekdays. She asks what he means, to which he responds that "Whizzer wasn't the only one," before it hits her and, "Marvin are you serious?" And then they're both crying and it suddenly hits Marvin for the first time that he's actually dying. That night Trina tells Mendel, and he says he's had a suspicion since they went for dinner a week earlier. Trina cries herself to sleep because, god no matter how stupid he is or how aggravated he makes her Marvin was still her first love. He isn't sure how he's going to tell Charlotte and Cordelia because they both took Whizzer's death so hard and he isn't sure that their odd little group can take another death so soon. Even so, he decides to tell them over tea three days after telling Trina. As he expects, Charlotte tries to get him to go to the hospital to have a test done, but he tells her he can't. If it comes back as positive then he'll just have to face it even more than he already has. He still isn't sure how to tell Jason. Isn't sure if he'll ever know. Maybe he'll just wait until he has to go to the hospital and then let Jason find out like that. But no, Marvin thinks, that's cruel. He couldn't do that to his son. He doesn't know how it happens, but one night while trying to fall asleep something in him comes to accept his fate. At least he'll be with Whizzer again. And for the first time since the first sign of his symptoms, Marvin sleeps alright. ugh the end is so bad but what else could you expect for something i wrote after waking up at two am crying bc of falsettos so i wrote this oops this took me half an hour to write and it's not even good

[exex-lovers]

Bedroom fantasy?

Ooo ok so. Here's the first thing that came to mind:

I wanna tie him up sprawled out so all he can do is lay there and whine, then just tease him until he has tears in his eyes and he's begging for me to let him cum. Then let him, and tell him how pretty he looks and shower him in praise and compliments because he's a good boy 💖💕

-Whizzer

[sasha-whos-askin-racket]

WEST END FALSETTOS WAS SO GOOD.

Don’t ask me which kid it was playing Jason. I think his name was Albert (Yeah it’s Albert Atack). He was amazing. Anyway here’s like cool details and things I liked and stuff.

- The floor pattern was a chessboard.

- The decision to not have Jason come on stage until the line “we got our miracle” was interesting.

- The decision to keep Whizzer on stage constantly after Days Like These and have him die onstage in the opening instrumental of Falsettoland Reprise was infinitely more heartbreaking.

- I want to marry the blocking from What More Can I Say. Soft sleepy Whizzer in his little armchair with his reading glasses and his book and Marvin also being soft over him is my life.

- OLIVER IS SUCH A GOOD WHIZZER.

- The fact that he collapsed backwards during More Racquetball? Andrew Rannels could never.

- Whoever made the decision to have Oliver be shirtless for the start of This Had Better Come To A Stop? A god.

- The fact that it wasn’t Marvin as a “homosexual father with children” but rather Whizzer as a “homosexual” and Marvin as a “father with children.”

- Jason’s “so do I” in Making A Home was because the dog had chewed through the corner of his chessboard.

- Marvin Hits Trina was intense because Jason starts crying and throws himself at Trina and Mendel drags Marvin away and Whizzer turns his head like he can’t bear to watch it.

- Before today, I had never cried at You Gotta Die Sometime, so THANKS OLIVER.

- Mendels cartwheel in Everyone Hates His Parents was flawless.

- They changed “wiry psychiatrist” to “weary psychiatrist”.

- There was different verse to I’m Breaking Down that I didn’t recognise.

- They took the “tell him things happen for no damn good reason, and his lack of control” verse out of Cancelling The Bar Mitzvah.

- They gave Whizzers line of “psychiatrist returning” to Mendel, which is fairs I guess.

- Marvin only moving across the stage one square at a time during The Chess Game while Whizzer just sort of stood whereever he wanted. Sometimes with each foot on a seperate square, sometimes both feet on the join between one.

- Whizzer watching Marvin move around the stage in pawn formation and then looking at the floor and going “Oh, it’s a chessboard, that’s very funny”

- Whizzer grabbing Marvin by the shoulders and pushing him back onto a square like a chess piece when he started to relax and stand more like how Whizzer was.

- March of the Falsettos was played out like Trina’s dream sequence. It was actually really amazing.

- The fact the kid playing Jason went from being furious in the line “hell, lets have a party. Just like nothing happened” to full on sobbing in the line “why don’t you make this dumb decision yourselves.”

- The height difference between Whizzer and Marvin was like a full head and then some. Fucking perfect.

- Marvin is played by a gay man - not sure about the guy playing Whizzer.

- The comedic timing of “Would he kill you?” “...Yes.” was spot on.

- “Sometimes smarmy?” The light shines on Whizzer who is stood on a raised platform in a photoframe. He leans forward and goes “um, excuse me?” and then carries on with the song.

- Marvin looking up at Whizzer during “He loves another.” “I agree.”

- Whizzer putting on a baseball cap and miming pitching in the line “the pitchers handsome.”

- They put up like projections of old Greek-ish paintings and statues and stuff during the line “explore museums” and Marvin basically is supposed to miss his line because he’s too busy staring at them all.

- During Whizzer and Jason’s conversation about Jason going to see a psychiatrist, it’s Trina that kicks Whizzer to get him to agree.

- “Don’t start to cry.” “I’m not.” *Mendel bursts into tears.*

- Mendel, frantically pointing at Marvin “forget that giant man!”

- “Whizzer has unlimited knowledge of-“ *marvin crosses to the wardrobe and tugs on the sleeve of Whizzers shirts that are hanging up* “-dreck.”

- Okay Marvin yanking Whizzers shirts off the hangers and shoving them into the bag before just throwing the bag at him was heartbreaking.

- The lesbians got SUCH a big cheer! It was great.

- In More Racquetball, Whizzer didn’t even make an effort to play, he just kind of lunged forwards on the spot and then stopped.

- His line was “Marvin, I’m ready to go” and it sounded so much like a plea.

- After he collapsed he curled into Marvin and was crying into his shoulder and trying to apologise and like holy fuck dude.

- The first time I heard people crying in the audience was during Another Miracle of Judaism.

- By the time it got to What Would I Do, you actually couldn’t hear the actors singing in places because there was so many people in the audience sobbing. Like not just crying, actual sobbing.

[caught-in-the-den]

me overthinking certain falsettos songs

this had better come to a stop 

okay this is my favorite song from falsettos, so i have a lot of thoughts about it. first off, imma talk about the actual scene in the revival. in the beginning when whizzer’s watch goes off, the lighting on only on whizzer, and doesnt shine on anyone even when they join him saying “late for dinner”, which sort of shows off how whizzer is the outsider during the first act, due to being distant with everyone, including marvin. its the first song we sort of see trina and whizzer agree and not avoid each other because they both understand how much of a dick marvin is. and the part where trina pushes marvin back and then throws him to whizzer is one of the best parts because its sort of like how instantly once trina wasnt with marvin, whizzer was having to deal with him and all of that. also when marvin ask whizzer “isnt this wonderful” it always makes me so sad because of how whizzer tries to answer that is it wonderful to him, but marvin doesnt let him talk. that shows that whizzer is actually somewhat happy with marvin, which makes the ending of the chess game a lot more sad. whizzer seems to really want to love marvin and for marvin to love him (as seen in making a home with his “could he love me”), though this seems to be the song where he realizes how toxic marvin actually is, and how toxic the relationship is, which is why i think he seems confused in the middle of the song because he truly wants a good relationship with marvin and doesnt know whether he can get that, or hes wondering how he actually feels about marvin and whether or not he’s worth putting up with.

tight knit family (reprise)

first off, this is so under appreciated. but okay the actual scene is amazing. its where marvin starts to learn that he’s not completely in charge of everything, and how he cant keep depending on his ex to give him love. at the beginning of the musical, marvin didnt seem to fully hate mendel, maybe disliked him a bit, but overall seemed okay with mendel. we see their relationship somewhat change in please come to our house/jason’s therapy, where he wonders why mendel is always there, though overall doesnt seem to hate mendel. but tight knit family reprise is where marvin truly seems to hate mendel because he feels like mendel is taking away marvin’s family, despite trina being happier with mendel already and mendel being a better father figure to jason. marvin expects everything to stay the same and for everyone to stay with him, and is angry when his ex goes on with her life and doesnt keep moping around. he sees trina getting with mendel is her way of tearing up the family, which is exactly what he did, and not at all what trina is doing. mendel is aware of how marvin feels and how marvin thinks due to being his therapist for years, so he knows marvin hates him, though contines to side with trina, which trina needs because shes somehow who needs validation and support, and mendel doesnt want to desert her, and he knows marvins side is probably the worst side to be on. he wanted to be there for jason and trina, and give them love, unlike how marvin did.

marvin slaps trina

okay this one may not be as long as the rest of the paragraphs but this is one of my favorite songs, it kinda ties with this had better come to a stop for being my favorite song. but okay good for trina for actually inviting her ex to her wedding despite all of the stuff he did to her. it shows that trina cant help but still care about marvin (which we see more of in act two), and doesnt want to completely desert him, which jason may have a big part of that. she doesnt want to break up the family any more for jason’s sake since he is like ten. this is also the song where marvin truly sees that nothing will stay the same and that people will move on. he immediately regrets slapping trina and starts apologizing heavily which shows that marvin still cares for trin despite his actions, and it shows how he doesnt quite seem to be in control of his emotions or his actions. it also makes me believe that marvin has hit trina before due to when he started apologizing, he says “you know that i didnt-” before being cut off and start to huddle by himself while putting his hands together and then putting his hands out in almost surrender, and how quick trina was to recover and face marvin again. 

canceling the bar mitzvah

okay another under appreciated one. but jason wants whizzer to be at the bar mitzvah, and either is unaware of whizzer dying, or in denial. mendel and trina seem to be in denial, whether for jason’s sake or their own, or both possibly. its the first time in the musical that jason feels like hes in control of something. he has watched his family fall apart for the past two or three years, and since hes just a kid, hes just been on the sideline and having to watch it without being able to do anything. he finally gets a say in something, though is conflicted and not used to being in control so wonders why trina and mendel arent making his decision for him as well, and almost seems scared of the decisions because he doesnt want to make anyone unhappy or make the wrong decision. after he storms off, trina and mendel are worried of how to tell jason, both wanting to protect jason from the world, but also aware that jason is going to figure out whizzer is going to die and will a rude awakening to the actual world. jason has been through a lot already, but they knew whizzer’s death would probably be the breaking point for jason. they want to shield jason from all of that, though know they wont be able to, which causes them to try and lie to themselves to make it more believable for them.

you gotta die sometime

whizzer makes me so sad in this song because it starts as almost a plea for help but then goes into acceptance before really scared. in the beginning, whizzer’s saying that hes a man in his prime, and how he doesnt know why this got to him instead of someone else. he thinks of himself as an overall healthy man, so he believed that this couldnt happen to him. sort of in the middle of the song, he realizes that no matter what, he was going to die, and there was nothing he could do, and he starts to accept it, and saying how it was going to happen anyway. he starts saying stuff to make himself believe that its he’s choice to die, by saying stuff like “i quit” and how he had it coming to him because of karma. possible karma from him breaking up a family. he wants to cry, and beg but he knows that wont help, and it would be better overall for everyone if he accepted it now. while he’s repeating “sometime” at the end, he starts to separate the word into “some time”, which is him still being scared of death, and wanting some more time left to live, though he doesnt get due to dying two songs later.