#whips in elden ring are so so well done

[wordsnbones]

i love the urumi. so much.

[mac-tirs]

the usage of different types of english in elden ring

most human/tarnished NPCs we meet, like rogier, ansbach, and nepheli, use late modern english:

"a sorcerer, as you might have guessed. i'm looking for a little something, here in the castle. when i'm not hotfooting it from the troops, that is." - rogier, first meeting "general radahn. a pleasure to see you, after all this time. but those remains do not belong to you." - ansbach, upon summon for PCR

but older demigods like messmer, ranni, and morgott use early modern english:

"thou'rt tarnished, it seemeth. mother, wouldst thou truly lordship sanction, in one so bereft of light? yet… my purpose standeth unchanged." - messmer, pre-battle cutscene "thou needst not indulge them unduly, but they too wish to appraise thy worth. it hath been a passing long time since a newcomer entered my service, after all." - ranni, after agreeing to serve her

then there are the younger demigods, like miquella, malenia, and potentially melina, who use a later variant of modern english, similar to the tarnished NPCs we speak to:

"if we honour our part of the vow, promise me you'll be my consort. i'll make the world a gentler place." - miquella, post-PCR cutscene "the scarlet bloom flowers once more. you will witness true horror. now, rot!" - malenia, phase 2 transition cutscene

finally, the hornsent NPCs like the hornsent, hornsent grandam, and the hornsent spirits such as the one outside the whipping hut, who use late middle english similar to the english found in shakespeare's sonnets:

"fie, another? ... then, as that woman would surely say, we are in our purposes well aligned. but understand. your kind are not forgiven. the erdtree is my people's enemy. by marika long betray'd, set aflame." - hornsent, first meeting "all your resentment lingers yet... the raw stuff from which i shall surely forge a curse. upon the dastard messmer's head. upon marika's children each and all." - scorched ruins hornsent spirit

i find it interesting how different the usage of english is in the game, and i feel that it can be a hint on how to properly date an individual's occupation in the lands between/land of shadow. the hornsent, being a people much older than many in the lands between, use the most archaic version of english, while the tarnished and younger demigods use a form of english more closely related to our own in the current period. older demigods (and marika herself, as heard from melina's recounts of marika's spoken echoes) use a form of english more closely related to the period of transition from middle english to early modern english.

additionally, another interesting thing to me: mohg is almost certainly nearly the same age as morgott (since they're referred to as twins), yet he speaks a little differently compared to morgott:

"tarnished, thou'rt but a fool." - morgott, post-battle dialogue "dearest miquella. you must abide alone a while." - mohg, pre-battle cutscene

this makes me wonder if it's possible that, assuming that miquella's verbiage is indicative of his younger age in comparison to the older demigods (aka the demigods born before the marika/radagon union), miquella's charm altered mohg's perception enough to also alter his manner of speaking and carrying himself in some way. if his pursuit of finery (dressing in embroidered robes and handling himself with poise, juxtaposing his bestial growls and strength) was mainly done in an effort to fit into miquella's ideal of a consort. of course, mohg could just be as vain as he seems to be all on his own accord, but i find that it's interesting to entertain the idea that even his current state of being was due to miquella's charm.

i'd love to hear what others think about this. i'm not very learned when it comes to english (it's not really my first language), but i find this all very cool to think about.

[rachetmath]

RWBY X Video Games Pt 2.5

Ruby: Hey I bet you can't figure out what characters we played as in Borderlands.

Jaune: Hm. Ren? Nora?

Nora: Yeah I think so.

Ren: Me too.

Yang: Alright guess.

Jaune: Weiss was a Siren two times, so she was Lilith and Maya.

Weiss: How?

Jaune: Your semblance is similar to their move set. Obviously, plus I bet you enjoyed the look.

Weiss: shut up.

Nora: Yang, no doubt was Brick. He was a desecrator.

Yang: So true.

Ren: Blake had to Mordecai.

Jaune is leaving Ruby to Roland because she is a little more tech-wise than you. But mainly because she likes guns.

Ruby: Okay what about the sequel? I mean Weiss is already figured out.

Weiss: Shut it.

Ruby: But what about us?

Jaune: Hm. Hey.

Messenger: What?

Jaune: Did you give them DLCs?

Messenger: Yeah.

Jaune: Okay thanks.

Nora: Hm.

Yang: What's the matter? You guys are stumped?

Ren: I mean a little, we know Blake was Zero.

Blake: Damn that quick?

Jaune: Yeah that quick, come on. However you and Ruby we are torn against.

Ruby: Pfft how come?

Jaune: Were you two fighting over one character?

Yang: … Um.

Ruby: I-I-I mean-

Nora: It was over Salvador the Gunzerker wasn't it?

Yang: … mmm

Ruby: mmmm

Jaune: it was. It was. Give me five.

Nora: Damn right. *High five Jaune*

Jaune: I haven't forgiven you though.

Nora: Can we please talk?

Ren: Um can we get back on topic?

Jaune: Since when are we on topic? Anyway, it's clear why either of you wanted him. Mainly, why Yang wanted him.

Ren: I mean their personalities match so-

Jaune: No Ren, it's clear as day.

Ren: I mean- Oh. Oh. I see.

Yang: *blushes covering her breast*

Jaune: I don't understand why you are showing boating those balloons every day.

Nora: He's right, girl, there is no shame.

Blake: I don't get it.

Jaune: There were two options for both Ruby and Yang. Ruby could played as Gaige but she loves guns more than giant robots so she wanted Gunzker. Yang however didn't want the other character, Krieg because he was half naked.

Blake: So that's why two were arguing that time? Why didn't either of you choose Axton?

Jaune: Roland’s clone? Really?

Blake: Fine.

Nora: So Ruby understood why Yang wanted Salvador so she played as Gaige.

Blake: Alright, but you three won't figure this out. Pre-sequel.

Jaune: Ah shoot.

Ren: mm. Mm

Nora: Damn. That is hard.

Ren: No Handsome Jack Clone right?

Blake: Ew.

Weiss: I hate you for saying that.

Yang: I'm too sexy to be that arrogant.

Ruby: I mean the weapons are cool but no.

Yang: I mean I could have been-

Jaune: Hell no, don't say that. You ain't no Athena.

Yang: gasp how dare you sir? I’ll have you know-

Jaune: Athena has a shield and a sword. She is more about defense than offense. Plus you never used a sword.

Yang: How does that matter?

Jaune: Anyways I believe Ruby was Claptrap.

Ruby: What? how did you -

Jaune: Claptrap has access to all the previous Borderland character's moveset. I know you would be happy to use them.

Weiss: Guess you've become basic Ruby.

Nora: Lady Hammerlock.

Weiss:*stares at Nora in anger*

Nora: *cockly smiles* It suits you, considering your previous statues, Ice Queen.

Ren: Blake was Nisha. Her skill is very useful and she has a whip.

Blake: *blushes*

Jaune: Which leaves with Wilhelm the Enforcer. Mainly because you both lost an arm.

Yang: Okay. True.

Weiss: Well you won't guess who we-

Jaune: Borderlands 3. Weiss the Beastmaster. Blake the Operative. Yang the Siren. And Ruby the Gunner.

RWBY: ………………

Ruby: Man. No fair.

Nora: Come on, it wasn't that hard. Blake's semblance is basically Zane’s hologram. Amara power is Yang semblance except stronger and more versatile. FL4K just fights with his pets like Weiss with her summons except he does a better job.

Weiss: What was that?

Nora: And Moze has a giant robot with guns. Ruby would never miss a chance like that.

Ruby: Damn right!

Jaune: So are we done?

Yang: Yeah we’re done. But I have a question. How does it feel to be maiden-less in the Elden Ring and real life?

RWB: Oh.

Emerald: Shit!

Oscar: DAMN! You get no bitches!

Jaune: I mean, in the Elden Ring, I’ve seen a lot of crazy women. One was hell-bent on destroying a tree. A blue-doll woman who basically wants me to devote myself to her. A dragon woman. A flower woman who I’m surprised can live for so long. A woman who believes in a snake, so much so she was willing to eat off his corpse. And a knight who was dying and was beating me like no tomorrow. Took me three times to beat that woman and it wasn’t on her second phase. So yeah, being maiden less was more of a blessing than having one of either them.

Yang: Oh.

Jaune: As for real life. I mean I had women look at me funny back at Mantle, I had Pyrrha back at Vale. Glyanda believed in me so she might count. Then you got Weiss who complimented me. And it seems I was on your girl's mind before you even entered the picture. Regardless, I don’t care, but at least I don’t settle for less.

Yang: Um..

Jaune: And I love my mom. Too bad you will never know that feeling cause you never had one

Yang: Jau-

Jaune: I mean I’m not too judgemental but come on, at least I’m not a hypocrite, an irresponsible brat whose only accomplishment was getting a lamp. Oh, wait, that’s gone too.

Ruby:: Jaune.

Jaune: How does feel bitch? To be motherless, having to show nothing for all life's struggles but a girl who once fantasized about another man.

Yang: *cries*

Ruby: Really, Jaune?

Jaune: I mean I may have messed up a few times. But I was right on the majority of things and I produce great results.

[thispit-thelame]

Pokemon White Nuzlocke: Attempt One

Episode 1.1: Third Time’s the Charm

Level Cap: 14

Well, lol. It has indeed been a little bit since my first post where I set the stage for this nuzlocke, and while I’d like to say that it was because I was making great progress with it and just haven’t found the time to post it all, it was not. I bought Elden Ring in the steam sale, and as I feared it would, it has ate my waking life whenever I’m not busy with work and such. Very very good game lol.

That being said I have finally completed my first leg of the nuzlocke and beat the first gym, though it wasn’t without a few false starts. Guess that this means this isn’t actually attempt one but eh, I’m the archivist here. First attempt was going fine enough but I accidentally killed my route 2 encounter, a Patrat, with a crit, and then my Lilipup I caught on route 1 died to me having to sacrifice them to a bide using Patrat in the first gym which I didn’t know they knew, and Lilipup hit a crit turn one. Already down two encounters I decided to just reset. Second attempt saw me losing to Cheren in the first room so that was another automatic reset. But the third attempt? Third time’s the charm baby.

I chose Oshowatt as my starter, if only because water is usually a safe option when it comes to starters. Waterfall/Surf (usually) being guaranteed via TM/HM means you’ll have at least one very strong STAB move to help carry you through the game, especially if you can get some set up going beforehand.

My Route 1 encounter was yet again a Lilipup, which I named Pickles. Thankfully, I know from other nuzlocke of other generations I have done, Pickles is a pretty decent catch. STAB return/double-edge, in additon to other strong physical moves, and the fact that Stoutland is surprisingly bulky means its a jack of all trades, of a sort. The fact that it can have the ability intimidate too makes it amazing for nuzlockes. Unfortunately, Pickles has Vital Spirit as an ability, which will turn into Sand Stream when they evolve. But hey, they’re still pretty good, and absolute miles above my next encounter.

Route 2 we get through just fine, but our encounter is a Patrat named Chestnut. There’s no nice way to put it; Patrat sucks. It sucks so much lol. The only thing it has going for it is STAB tackle and bide, which are pretty much useless after the first gym or so, and Patrat really doesn’t have the stats to use anything but bide for reliable damage, and that’s a horrendous idea for a nuzlocke.

Both Bianca and N fall easily to the mighty beast that is Pickles, as does Cheren soon after with the help of the gift Pansear named Broiler we were gifted in the Dreamyard. From there it was a straight shot to the gym leader Cilian. 

This was a mildly scary fight as Cilian was able to set up a couple workups, but we get through this deathless, but not without a close call. Cilian leads lilipup as we lead Chestnut. We get off three leers while Cilian thankfully only gets a tackle, and then two work ups off. From there it was a swap to Pickles who took their mirror out just fine. Pansage comes out next and since I don’t believe that Pickles will be able to take them out before it gets a bunch of scary stat boosts, I stay in for a turn to hit a tail whip to lower its defenses while Pansage goes for the expected work up. I decide to stay in for one more turn and hit a tackle since Pickles can take a hit, and Pansage retaliates with a critical hit vine whip which we barely survive. I need to swap here so its off to Broiler who I realize made the tail whip pointless thanks to incinerate being a special move, but like 4 incinerates later due to Cilian healing, Broiler who resists vine whip takes out the grass monkey no problem, winning us the badge.

This is the team so far. I’m proud of how they performed in the gym but I’m hoping we can get some other options quickly because lol Chestnut, sorry bud, you’re certainly not a powerhouse.

Post Script:

If this was twitter I would’ve interspersed the thread with a few thoughts/explanations on the game/story so far and what strategies I was going for or what I was planning. I figure if i just leave a little space for me at the end of each section to go over a couple things that should be just fine.

I’m still trying to figure out how I want to format this. I’d like to experiment more with adding more screenshots but I also don’t want this to become unwieldly long. I’ll probably just take screenshots if I get a good/cool encounter or if I end up in a bad spot in a battle. I usually also like to take a pic of the team before and after a gym leader fight but I forgot to this time.

Also the grinding. Gods the grinding lol. I am hoping beyond hope that the grinding gets better as the game progresses because having to grind on lvl 4-7 wild pokemon to get to level 14 was such a pain that I just stopped because I thought 13 was good enough. I do find it really cool how Black/White limit your encounters to purely gen 5 pokemon until the postgame, but man. Only 3 (4 if you count the gift monkey) unique pokemon encounter options before the first gym? That’s rough. iirc this is the most limited your options have been before the first gym in the entire series. Even romhacks are more generous than this. Again, since this is a blind nuzlocke I dont know anything about the encounter tables but I’m hoping it improves a bit as we progress through the game.

Broiler seems to be a good option for an encounter for the dreamyard. Even if I would have liked to hold off until after we got cut and were able to see what was in the grass patch just out of reach, Broiler seems to be a fairly strong and speedy mixed attacker, which will be nice to use. Also fire types are generally rare in most generations, so getting an early one is always a boon.

So far, so good, but I’m def looking forward to the new encounters lol, if only to fill out the party, and replace a few lackluster team members (looking at you chestnut)

[raphsweapondealer]

Tomboy talents

To my fellow Tom boy ladies out there! Here's Tom boy knowledge/talents that would probably throw your turtle clean off!

Raphael:

Um. Working out. DOH X3 sorry. Too obvious?

He'd be oblivious, then one day you go into his gym and start pumping weight

Poor boy almost drops the bar on his throat

Doesn't appreciate the snarky comment about you spotting him if he needs it. (Not that you could. He has like, 12 plate on that bar and can throw a 6000 lb shipping container.

Your just getting your hits in

He'd watch you load up your weight. It'd be the perfect amount where'd you'd start struggling at the end of your set. But your form is CLEAN.

All this time of you wearing sweatshirts and here you go. Strolling on in, tank top showing off your delts, biceps, triceps, delts and lats (maybe a tattoo or two?)

You clearly never skip leg day

Hes insulted you never told him

After he gets over his stupor of course

Bonus: you know how he needs to eat and help him out there. And you listen to some HEAVY metal while you're nothing pumping weight

No platauing for him! Your boy gonna get big with his number 1 by his side!

Leonardo

Driving and knowledge of weapons

Wat? Driving??

One day the boys get in trouble, Leo and Donnie need to tend to their injured brothers. In the back. But you guys need to get out of there!

No problem. You go this

You WHIP that garbage truck! Hell yeah!

Like, it might as well be your commuter or something, you make that rig your bitch

Through new york city nonetheless

Holy crap its impressive!

Weapons? All weapons!

You're in your apartment cleaning your rifle to the point you could do a white glove inspection on it

It's your baby. You take such good car of it

Leo walks in on you, very surprised to see you doing that of all things.

Scared tf out of you because he was so quiet and just staring at you the whole time

Crap Leo! Don't do that!

Hes still examining a hole into you as he gets closer.

Loves this about you, sharpens his sword while you take care of your stuff after a day at the range.

You have a nice sharpener. Because of course you have a bunch of blades too!

Good oils, you know what will last and what won't.

Bonus: you know how to spray paint. You like to paint your guns

Needless to say, you're at the center of fearless's radar. (You went way past just being on it. Good lord!)

Mikey

Meme knowledge and video games

Hes playing elden ring. He's stressing

Ask if you can play

Raises a brow at you, asks if you played a dark souls game.

You just smile knowingly, take the controller, load up your account and get in your character

Destroy the boss he has been struggling with for the past 3 hours (let's be honest considering that game 3 hours is not outlandish)

Mikey is IN LOVE. WAT!

Begs you for help, asks what buffers he needs, summons, oh he has so many questions now!!

Of course you help him, show him where to get certain spells, side bosses he should really fight to get good amulets.

This man was NOT ready, but very much so isn't mad. Wow!

It's all fun and games until you start quoting current memes while he's fighting.

Old and new, he doesn't care. Simple like "do you know da wae" to some monster who one shots you

"My brother in Christ! You blew that horn!" You say as you slaughter the pesky guards.

Mikey can only take so much.

His heart is racing as he finally takes you all in

Holy cow you're amazing!

Donnie

Anything techie anything mechanical. (Come to think of it these are very obvious sorry! 😂)

Oh. You helped him fix bug in his program? Um. Are you a goddess??

Even simple things like you setting up a sound system for the other three brothers

Donnie comes out to help you only to realize you're done

If you fix stuff around the lair he will be in absolute awe.

Hes working on the garbage truck, even handing him the tools he needs he will be shook

You show him you know how to use said tools? God yes!

You show him a tool he's never seen before? And how to use it? Oh my god his life is so much easier and that is amazing you could show him!

You buy him some tools?? His heart. Like Mikey he can't take it. Where did you even come from??

Correcting him on whats wrong

Not brakes. It's the bearing. Duh. That's why it makes that noise

Doesn't believe you at first. Lord help you if you're right, because he will take you to his room and you two won't be coming out for a while

Shit is hot!

Even if you're not right he's still impressed you can give plausible ideas for troubleshooting.

Still hot!

[daihell]

No One Else to Blame Chapter 7

Dorian wasn’t sure how or even when he had fallen so completely for the Inquisitor. He knew it was incredibly foolish, particularly with the war raging around them, but none of that seemed to matter when he studied Elden's profile or contemplated the warmth of their fingers laced together. Dorian knew this couldn't last but he never could have foreseen just how spectacularly it would all go wrong. Or that he would be the one left holding the knife. AO3 Read More

Dorian couldn’t help but feel uneasy as they approached the cave. It was a ridiculous sentiment, he’d only been captive for a short while before reinforcements had arrived, it hadn’t been particularly traumatic. Then again, this was where this nightmare had begun. He’d lost time here, nearly an entire day unaccounted for, and he couldn’t help but fear what they might discover.

Still, finding nothing would by far be the worse outcome. Dorian prayed that they’d find the poison or, even better, the antidote so this entire business could be wrapped up and put behind them, but he knew none of them were that lucky, himself in particular.

The Iron Bull waited outside with the horses as the rest of them trekked through the snow and into the cave. It was a grim task, but Blackwall and Cassandra began kicking corpses over and searching them while Vivienne, Elden, and Dorian continued on inside. The Inquisitor knelt by the next body they came across and began searching as well.

They left quite the body count in their wake wherever they went, but still Elden treated the fallen reverently, even these Venatori. He’d expressed on more than one occasion regret at the loss of life and a desire to bury the fallen, although it was rarely possible, now especially. Dorian knew this had to be difficult for him. He wanted to kneel beside him, place a hand on his shoulder, but he was afraid to get too close, afraid to see Elden flinch like that again.

Elden had learned firsthand how his touch could burn, it was only right he pulled away. He should be angry, he should blame Dorian for all of this and push him away if only to protect himself. But of course he wouldn’t. Elden was too kind, too understanding, and Dorian hated how easily he had hurt him.

Truth be told, he’d been avoiding Elden since, keeping out of reach and avoiding eye contact. It was childish perhaps, but every time he saw the sadness there, Dorian wanted nothing more than to pull him close and he couldn’t. He didn’t have the right.

Dwelling was getting him nowhere so instead Dorian continued deeper in. In the back, he found the place they had left him on the hard ground when he’d been held prisoner, charred rope still lying there where it had fallen as well as a few more bodies. He supposed he should actually assist with the search. He flipped the nearest body over, shuffling around until he found something inside the man’s coat. When he pulled it out and saw the dagger in his hand, however, he recoiled, dropping it to the ground as if it had burned him, backing away until he hit the wall, breathing hard.

“Dorian?”

He heard Elden’s voice, but he couldn’t take his eyes off of that blade. He recognized it, similar to the one he’d used to-- to stab Elden, but this one was different, huge gemstone eyes boring into him from the engraved skull. Somehow, they burned into him and he covered his eyes, but the pain only increased. He thought he might be yelling as he doubled over, but he couldn’t tell, his ears ringing, drowning out all else as his skull throbbed.

It felt like there was something lurking at the edges of his mind and suddenly it all flooded in, a memory locked away of agony and horror. There were faces in the darkness, grinning and terrible, that watched, that commanded and taunted. These had to be the true leaders of this group. He knew they had to be human, but they were distorted by pain and perception and he couldn’t help but recoil from them as if they were demons or something worse.

Dorian could feel ropes burning his wrist as if he was being restrained even now, and there was that knife in the hand of one of those mages. The blade sliced down his arm, blood flowing onto the floor, so much blood, the room smelling metallic with it, and Dorian wretched at the memory, thankful that his stomach was practically empty anyway. Finally his mind cleared and the pain and ringing finally receded. He just stayed there for a moment, breathing heavily and leaning against the cold stone.

“Dorian?” Elden repeated, close at his side. “Are you all right?”

“You’re remembering, aren’t you?” Vivienne asked. “Where were you taken? Where did the ritual happen?”

“A cave?” Dorian said doubtfully, trying to remember, wanting to focus on those flashes of memory but afraid of falling back into them again. The fact that it was in a cave was much too vague to be particularly helpful. He needed to see something, anything, that could give him a clue, but then there was another flash of agony as that knife flayed his stomach and he reeled back, nearly falling to the ground, back in the blessed present.

“Dorian!”

Elden caught him and steadied him as he frantically clawed at his shirt, pulling it up, but he was whole, his stomach unscarred. Had they tortured then healed him to hide the evidence? That was a lot of work to go to. Then again, all this was to assassinate the Inquisitor so perhaps it made sense. In retrospect they all really should have known that Dorian’s rescue was all too easy, his injuries too superficial. Of course there had to be others, all this just a setup to cause them to write this entire thing off as attempted ransom and nothing more.

“I’m fine,” Dorian said after he took a deep breath, composing himself as best as he could as he pushed away from Elden and stood up straight. He tried not to notice the disappointment on Elden’s face. “There were others. I was taken-- somewhere, another cave, bigger. I remember seeing mountains out of the mouth of the cave.” It was frustrating how difficult it was to remember any details. Then again, he’d been a tad preoccupied at the time so the fact that he had anything at all to go on was probably a blessing.

“Doesn’t exactly narrow it down,” Blackwall muttered.

Dorian wasn’t exactly sure when he and Cassandra had joined them but he shot a glare in Blackwall’s direction before he continued. “There were definitely mages. Several. As well as some sort of ritual circle.”

“What kind?” Vivienne asked.

“If I knew, I would have said as much,” Dorian snapped, regretting it as soon as the words were out of his mouth. He closed his eyes, trying to calm himself. He could still feel the fear clawing at him, could still remember what it felt like to be sliced into again and again, but it wouldn’t do to lash out at allies. He took a deep breath before continuing. “I apologize. I can’t recall the details. There was definitely blood magic involved but that’s all I’ve got.”

“Unfortunate, but it’s a start,” Cassandra said, placing a hand on his shoulder which surprised him.

“Are we not going to address the possibility that that was all an act and he’s leading us into a trap?” Blackwall asked, looking skeptical.

“Blackwall, please,” Elden said, but Dorian couldn’t exactly blame the man for being suspicious.

“I’m not sure it matters at this point,” Cassandra said, sending a concerned glance towards Elden. “We’ve finished searching here, let’s get going.”

“Dorian?” Elden was still at his side, so close but not wanting to touch without permission.

“I’m fine,” Dorian said, waving a hand dismissively. His touch was soothing and a part of him wanted to lean into him again, let Elden hold him, support him, but he couldn’t do that now. He couldn’t demand any more from him.

Suddenly Dorian was feeling incredibly claustrophobic here in this small cave with all these people crowding around. He could still hear the taunting voices of those Venatori as they pressed in around him, even if he couldn’t tell what they were saying. He brushed past Elden, heading for the exit, needing to be out in the open so he could breathe again.

As he stepped outside, for once he didn’t mind the freezing wind as it whipped past him. It allowed him to focus on the moment, on his face and ears burning with cold, and push away the memory of blood and pain. Recent events had made him wary of cliff edges, so he stayed on the path, looking out over the valley between mountain peaks and just tried to calm his pounding heart. Bull was nearby with the horses watching, but Dorian ignored him. He stood there with his eyes closed for a long moment, just trying to feel and not think and nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard Cassandra’s voice beside him.

“I owe you an apology.”

“Oh?” he asked, unable to keep his irritableness out of his voice. “Whatever for?”

It wasn’t directed at her, exactly, and he felt guilty for taking this all out on her. It was just-- everything, really. He felt helpless, being used and manipulated to hurt the Inquisitor, the last person Dorian had ever wanted to harm, the one person he would give his life to protect. Seeing Elden flinch away, reminding him of how Dorian had betrayed him so deeply. And now he could barely trust his own mind. He couldn’t wait to find those responsible so he could tear them apart. Unless, of course, they still held power over him in which case things could go very badly indeed.

“I didn’t even give you a chance to prove yourself,” she explained and thankfully she didn’t seem offended by his tone. “I owed you that at the very least, after everything you’ve done for the Inquisition.”

“It’s fine, Cassandra,” he said with a weary sigh. “I ended up doing exactly what all the rumors said I would. I don’t blame you for assuming the worst. The knife was literally in my hand, after all. What were you supposed to think?”

“Still,” she insisted. “I apologize for my brashness, for throwing out whatever trust you’d managed to build thus far.”

“That’s very generous of you,” he said. As much as he appreciated her words, he knew all of this would take time. On both sides. And there were more pressing things to attend to at the moment. “Better not let your guard down just yet. Not until this is over. I could still pose a threat.”

She nodded and they both understood the implication. Elden was the priority. If Dorian was forced to turn on them, it would be up to the others to make sure the Inquisitor was safe. Glancing up, Dorian could see Elden nearby watching apprehensively. It was obvious he wanted to approach but was unsure if he would be welcome.

The space was appreciated, but he hated this entire situation. And he hated that Elden was still being so thoughtful and generous. They were both here, hurting and in need of any sort of support, but instead it felt like there was a chasm opening up between them. And it was Dorian’s fault. There was nothing he could say, no way he could make this all right, so instead he turned and began trudging through the snow as they all headed out.

-

They were to meet Leliana’s scouts next so once they reached the designated location they set up camp and waited. Dorian pulled out his notebook and closed his eyes, trying to recall that view out the mouth of the cave in his memory. It was difficult, having it interspersed with flashes of agony, but he just tried to focus, drawing the mountains as best he could.

He was only half paying attention, but when the scouts arrived, he overheard them relaying the most likely locations that the Venatori could be held up. They kept close watch on large sections of the mountain range to ensure safe passage, so that at least narrowed down the possibilities. Now they’d have to rely on chance more than anything, picking a direction and just hoping they got lucky and stumbled across a hideout.

Dorian couldn’t help but glance over at Elden who was standing by himself watching the gentle snowfall. He was hunched slightly, arms around himself and Dorian wished he wasn’t turned away so he could see his face properly. He didn’t look cold, perhaps he was in pain? Vivienne approached him, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder to get his attention so she could pass him a vial to drink from.

Dorian wanted to just damn it all and go to Elden as well, wrap his arms around him and just hold him tight, reassure him, do anything he could to ease the pain just as Elden had done for him so many times. But he couldn’t. He kept remembering how Elden had flinched away, on the warm blood on his hands, and, honestly, focusing on those memories of torture somehow felt less painful. So, he looked back down at his notebook and continued to sketch.

-

By the time they had a route planned out, it was growing dark so they settled in for the night. There would be no sleeping anytime soon for Dorian so he sat with his legs drawn up close, staring moodily into the fire, grateful that the others had either retired for the night or were off keeping watch. He never did well when left alone with his thoughts, so of course they strayed to Elden as they so often did these days.

Dorian had been the one cut open in those reawakened memories, but all throughout had been a sense of urgency and a great concern for Elden’s safety. They’d been trying to get him to harm Elden (trying and ultimately succeeding he reminded himself) so he supposed it was warranted. There had been so much blood in his memories, but as he stared down at his hands, it was Elden’s blood that came to mind, dripping down and staining his robes, his skin, and he could still hear the quiet sound he’d drawn from Elden, the way he’d held onto him so tightly as he slumped to the ground. He wrenched his eyes away and looked back into the embers in the fire.

It was looking less and less likely that they would find the antidote in time. What were they supposed to do then? Just watch as Elden withered away in front of them? Dorian would likely be haunted by what he had done, blood magic or no, for the rest of his life. If it actually led to Elden’s death, what was he supposed to do then? How was he supposed to live with that, knowing that he himself had destroyed someone he respected and cared so deeply for? How had any of this happened?

He nearly jumped when footsteps brought him back to the present, but for once he was grateful for the interruption. Unfortunately it turned out to be Elden. He sat close beside him, too close, and Dorian resisted the urge to move away. True, distance between them was the last thing he wanted right now, but there was still so much hurt there. Would he ever stop feeling like a threat to Elden?

“The stars look nice,” Elden said and Dorian barked out a short, bitter laugh. He couldn’t help himself. It was just so like Elden to want to talk about stars when everything was falling apart around them.

“That’s it, then?” he asked. “That’s all you have to say?”

“No, but I didn’t think you wanted to talk about anything else,” Elden said, unphased by his reaction.

“What exactly is there that hasn’t already been said?”

“The avalanche-- I thought I’d lost you then. I don’t want to lose you again after everything. Please don’t push me away like this,” Elden said, sounding so heartbroken as he tentatively placed his hand over Dorian’s where it rested on the ground between them. His movements were so hesitant, giving Dorian plenty of time to pull away. He should have, but now that he had that contact he was reminded of just how desperately he’d missed it

He studied their hands clasped together for a long moment. Should he weigh the risks? Determine if they were stronger together or apart, even if it put one of them at risk? Would it still be worth it if they destroyed each other in the end? But perhaps none of that truly mattered. Neither of them could simply stop caring. And if this was it, if Elden didn’t live out the week, Dorian would hate himself for pushing him away when all he wanted to do was pull him close and do whatever he could to make him smile. He sighed heavily before bringing Elden’s hand to his lips briefly.

“Then tell me what I’m supposed to do,” Dorian said, feeling so tired.

“I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I want you to be by my side,” Elden said earnestly.

“Until I actually manage to kill you or the poison succeeds, right?” Dorian said grimly, wishing he hadn’t spoken at all. Why did he have to make this so difficult? And why was Elden still making it so easy?

“Stop blaming yourself,” Elden said. “Whatever happens, this wasn’t your fault. You have to believe that.”

Dorian had nothing to say to that that wouldn’t end in an argument and he was just so tired. “I’m sorry,” he said instead. “All I’ve done lately is hurt you. And I’m selfish enough to still want to be here with you. A better man would probably stay away.”

“Then what does that make me?” Elden asked, bumping his shoulder lightly with a sad smile. “I must be far worse because I’m selfish enough to want this as well. I hate seeing you put yourself through this though. I just-- I don’t want to see you go through this alone. And, frankly, I don’t want to go through it alone either.”

Dorian leaned into him and Elden immediately wrapped his arms around him. Right now, Dorian wanted nothing more than to feel Elden, his warmth and his heartbeat as he enveloped him. It eased the agony brought on by those reawakened memories as well as reassure him that Elden was here, still alive and with him. Perhaps not safe for the moment, not while poison ran in his veins, but at least he was alive in this moment. That meant there was hope. And Dorian would do whatever he could to make sure Elden got through this.

Next -->