#while yeah those ofc can be godawful too. but not really even in ways i didn't get from Family & Friends sites either so. not special thus

[unproduciblesmackdown]

forget why i was even thinking of it the whole other day but going "what were like Interpersonal Interactions i had over the years that were like meaningful / significant but in a good way" & there's answers & the main genre is like the surprise of just being treated kindly with No Conditions, wasn't ever moved by e.g. approval for doing what you're supposed to wherever, meanwhile didn't even have to be singled out over whatever, which if anything would kind of imply [B/c Of Conditions Met]. but then i was like why limit "experiences of significance over the years of In A Good Way" to "ways i was having some direct 'enough' interpersonal interaction" when that means overlooking / deprioritizing a ton of more readily obvious good shit that was really just about me "on my own" whether there happened to be other ppl in the vicinity (probably) or not

but also obviously Other People are relevant in every moment & part of everyone's lives but like so far beyond "what social interactions are you having w/people in the vicinity" which itself is also so far beyond which interactions get to be supposedly Real & Valuable / Worthwhile, which tends to be those of Family & Friendship & Romantic Partnership & then maybe if we're going wild a vague invocation of "community" beyond this....unsurprisingly a big Reader for those many years & like books exist b/c people make them & b/c there's all the people involved in how then any individual person might access any of those books, & then interact with what's in them. same with yknow everything else made & distributed & accessed, but certainly in particular Media as this site of especially indirect Communication from [who makes what's within its frame] & who takes that in, & you don't really talk back any more directly, unless you do lol, but nobody said communication is only two-way

also that, say, i like to draw, & In Person how to / feedback was always about Realism in drawing/painting from Life / Photos, how to info about the cartoonish expressive antics which you might note is all i care to do coming from Not in person, but certainly from people, books, online, just taking a lot of style inspiration from newspaper comics, nonzero other comics, some illustration, other ppl's linearty stylized work....also thinking about how the like Big Really Great Time Actually revelations of yore included stuff like wow i love being backstage. wow i love being backstage. wow being onstage is alright & i prefer even like more solo than ensemble things even though if only family was completely uninvolved among some other things & wow being onstage is a lot of fun when i get to do villain guy parts & lively side characters & stuff thrown together just to have fun with. wow being in rehearsal yay. being in the auditorium theater or dance studio or greenroom changing room. choir loft, sure. the theater b/c i'm in the audience yayy. didn't have anything to do with other people insofar as None Of That was great times & important memories b/c of the Interactions or Friendships or what have you lol. if anything it ties in with what interactions Were standout, like oh when some adult gave me this Treat just b/c everyone in my grade was getting it just b/c it was just about the last day of school. oh when the bus driver let me get my lunch b/c i only remembered it when the bus pulled up & they seemed completely fine about it. when i get to be treated No Worse than anyone else around, either spontaneously & it surprises me or that when doing a performance you're supposed to be there b/c you have this role & everyone else is there as your collaborator in some form or fashion. but i also liked the performing too, in the relatively limited capacity i ever did it but it was also certainly nonzero & a relatively regular going on

but back to the like yeah it was an interaction when, say, someone made a book with stuff in it & i read it & interpreted it. occuring to me like hmm that might go right along with Imagery i always find resonant where the pov might have nobody around directly observable but there's light in the distance that indicates a presence, & further, perhaps there's the understanding the light is put there deliberately as some signal for whomsoever might be out there to see it. & other things where there are implicit presence / figures who are distant & not connected to you Personally but indirectly / from afar are putting out these [interactions] to help you. like well you don't say

[ryttu3k]

Finishing up SoNY, ‘bad’ end and final thoughts!

But first, the early game over.

Wow, she just gets shot. Not even slurped? That’s rude as hell XD;;

And on to the ‘bad’ end!

Beginning is much the same, ofc.

“You’re too in love with weaving a good story and establishing a seductive narrative to let facts get in the way.” Foreshadowing for the ‘good’ end, maybe?

God that Embrace scene gives me literal goosebumps.

Alright! Last time I did Danse Macabre and Retributive Justice, let’s try The Risks of Swiping Right!

lmao god I’d eat this guy too. Back to the ghost club! That legitimately is a really neat scene. ...Ooh yes so that’s where the girl was from.

Panhard just lowkey dying at the mental image of Katherine Weise in a fast food restaurant is so good.

The sweet scene between Julia and Dakota hits a bit different after the ‘good’ end XD;;

Went to the park, reminisced, and helped out the guy. That was sweet ;_; High-humanity Julia, this time!

‘Fairy God Mother?’ is great but ��Vin Diesel?’ is objectively the funnier response.

“Shining even more brightly than usual, Aisling.” Samira got a cru-ush~

Poor Julie. It’s probably been tough without Sophie around :(

Huh. Interestingly, refusing to lie to Mia results in Julia actually feeling genuine loyalty to the Cammies (for now, at least).

Believing Agathon is still alive = more optimistic = different dialogue! See, this is how you make choices have consequences, game!

Oooh boy time to meet Adelaide XD;;

“She uncrosses her legs in a strangely seductive motion. In her mind’s eye, it probably looked like Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct, but in reality, it had all the grace of a tracksuit Slav squatting.” *snickering*

Fight me, Adelaide >:(

‘sup Nastya. Went with the slightly less disruptive routine here XD Huh, she’s an aspiring DJ! Julia is deeply confused as to how being a DJ and being head of security works together.

lmao Julia referring to Hope as a girlboss. That phrase has lost all meaning to me...

The conversation between Julia and Father Leonard is still really interesting. Man, you know who I want Julia to talk to? Anatole. Interesting insights into balancing being queer Catholic vampires there for sure.

lmao oh my god I want to fight this street reporter.

‘I can almost feel my brain losing its wrinkles.’ *snort*

Yeaghhhh the Abyss bit is still so creepy...

Oops. Being honest regarding Tamika and Torque’s relationships gets a fail :(

Oh, or not XD That works! Also, uh, apparently the giant albino ghoul alligator is real, according to New York by Night. He’s Calebros’ pet.

“Because I think I have a pretty good nose for people’s auras. And when I take a good look at you... ...somehow, I have a feeling you’re a surprisingly decent person. Whatever way of unlife you choose, I hope you don’t change it. And that you remember my advice.” :)

“I know.” Oof.

“Hi.” “WAAAH!” lmao sorry Princess XD;; Just trying to imagine Qadir’s face as he tells Julia to find a 1990 glass statue of Scrooge McDuck... dying...

Oh she’s so a Toreador XD Low art options are a fantasy book, an anime DVD, or a video game... those can all be arty, though! And went with the anime DVD called ‘Ririsu no Daibouken’... that translates to ‘Adventures of Lilith’. How on the nose XD “The cover says ‘Lilith’s Carnal Carnival’.” Oh. Yeah, that’d do it XD

“This 90s original video anime presents us with a tale of five big-bosomed samurai warriors travelling through America in search of General Hastavista, The Incubus King. Don’t let all the titillation misguide you: the main draws here are peerless direction, a nearly avant-garde editing rhythm and dialogue that coyly comments on traditional gender roles in anime. Once you see the animation in the final battle, you’ll understand why it never fails to set a sakuga fan’s heart ablaze!”

She’s my new favourite.

“So can I know your name now?”

“Hmmm... Let me think...

No. <3″

I need to stress that the heart appears in the dialogue box. Like. The actual less-than-three heart.

Didn’t investigate the rat this time, so Qadir did and I die. “Glad you’re alright, little guy.” Qadir...

Still not over the drunk blood doll rats.

Kaiser’s still a goddamn creep and this time Julia is not going too far. She still has her humanity, dammit. Final set of traits:

Loyal to the end

Glass half-full

Not into a bad cop schtick

Honesty is the best policy

No more human, still humane

Onwards to the ‘bad’ end! Oops, and Dakota still did the Single White Female thing XD;;

Man I’m still really curious who the ‘good friend’ is!!

Okay! Time for end game!!

So that’s the good friend, huh? “Let me phrase it differently, then. You’re not Ecaterina the Wise, the Agitator of Prague, a Brujah elder causing turbulences all over the world... are you?”

Mention of Christof! Mention of Christof doing shady shit :| Poor Hana.

“An immigrant from Eastern Europe comes to New York City, takes the position she always expected to find herself in, is molded into someone who is no longer herself.”

Julia and Dakota representing Carthage is kind of neat.

I want to say the mention of St Jude is a reference, but I’m not sure what to XD;; Is that from Redemption? Christof could have been the one to tell Hana that.

“Like a two-person human centipede loop or something. An Ouroburos? Or an, uhh, Mobius strip?” No, that’s the other traditionally Sabbat clan XD

That‘s. That’s a hell of a reconciliation XD “Yeah, let’s give it a try. By the way I’m on the run for my unlife, want to go to California and try to find utopia?”

Julia, wear a fucking mask XD

“Hey.”

“Yeah?“

“Do you love me?”

“... Of course I do. For now, at least.”

I still don’t know if I love her. Or even if I can love anyone, for that matter. I’m a fucking monster, after all. I don’t even know if we’ll exist next month. The prospects are not looking good. But although I can’t see myself in the rearview mirror right now...

...I will remember this image of us leaving the city, somewhat melancholic, and somewhat hopeful, forever. And maybe the meaning of this image will be clarified with time. Or maybe I will just force a more positive description on it, and that is what I’ll believe.

No matter what happens... even if oceans of blood lie before us, I will make this a cherished memory.

Whatever possible salvation still remains for me... ...it probably lies in the eyes of another.

Oh dang I have chills.

So the ‘bad’ ending is about the subverted compromise. Julia resigns herself to letting the compromise about the truth of Callihan’s death go ahead. ‘Catherine’ is a walking compromise to hide the Ecaterina’s real deeds. But while Hana is still stuck in her role for now, Julia refuses to accept the compromise she’s made, both the one relating to the investigation and the compromise she made of her own views and morals. It might blow up in her face, yeah. But damn, she’s going to try.

So, final thoughts! For the sake of completion, this is what I said about Coteries:

And of course this is the part where the game all falls apart :-\

Just… god. This is probably the biggest problem with CoNY, and the reason I didn’t bother getting it until it was like… 60% off. The bulk of the game is great - the writing is intriguing, the design is stunning. But the choices themselves are so limited it’s barely worth even getting it at 60% off!

You have three choices of characters, with their own opening chapters and own individual scenes with their touchstones. You have four choices of coterie members, and three sidequests. You can probably get in at least three full story arcs and a sidequest or two, but you’re only ever limited to two of your coterie members showing up at the not-yet-endgame.

So let’s say you decide to play all three protags, which, indeed, is encouraged (there’s an achievement for it). You are going to repeat coterie arcs and side quests, because there simply aren’t enough for three unique playthroughs.

And then you get to the end and literally everything is scripted. You get attacked by the SI. You get rescued by your two coterie members (and then never see them again, despite the game being called Coteries of New York). You meet Torque, you escape the SI, Sophie reveals her plan to Torque, you go to Ellis Island, Adelaide kills Sophie (and despite the fact that you’re given multiple options there, none of them work), Arturo does his spiel, end of game. You don’t even get to choose between ending up blood bound or going “no fuck you” and at least dying with a bit of dignity!

I just. I really want to like it, and there genuinely is a lot there to like! But uuuugh the ending. Like damn at least give the poor protag the option to choose what happens to them!

Anyway. Not sure what’s next. To get all the achievements, you have to finish with all three protags, so that’s three full runs and a lot of repetitiveness (compare to, say, Bloodlines or Night Road. I have eighty-five hours on Night Road and there’s still stuff I haven’t seen!), so I can’t even just… rush it through up to the meeting with the touchstones on the third play. Nope. Gotta finish it :-\

Final rating: 6/10

8/10 characters, 9/10 atmosphere, 8/10 story aside from ending, 3/10 story ending, 2/10 replayability. Final consensus: get it on major sale if you can, otherwise, you might as well just watch an LP. I might do that instead of doing a third run, although I at least want to do a second.

I ended up revising that 6/10 to 5.5/10 after finishing all runs and getting the achievements just out of how goddamn repetitive it was. So, how does Shadows measure up?

Absolutely continued with all the things I enjoyed about CoNY (characters, atmosphere, and writing), and of the bits I hated (cookie cutter protagonists, lack of real choice, repetitiveness, the godawful ending), every single part has been completely improved.

Instead of three fledglings so similar they even have the same internal thoughts, we have Julia, who’s got such a distinct voice that she becomes the most memorable game protag I’ve seen in years, and I’m including non-VtM games in this. This is absolutely her game, and it’s just... absolutely fascinating to read and watch.

Related - actual real choices. There are five key choices that determine the ending, and every single one has actual consequence in-game. You get different dialogue. Different introspection. Different philosophies. And this carries across - if Julia believes Agathon is alive, she’s more optimistic about her relationship with Dakota, too. And of course, both endings are completely distinct and incredibly written - the ‘good’ ending where Julia gives in to her most Lasombra instincts, plays the game, wins it, gets power and respect at the expense of her humanity and avoiding all those wraiths... or the ‘bad’ ending when she listens to her morals, reconciles with Dakota, and leaves for California, uncertain, but hopeful.

Not a lot of repetitiveness. Yes, by design, you’ll probably do two playthroughs. The main plot is much the same, but there are enough options there to get multiple dialogue options and stuff. And for the little sidequests, you can actually get all in with just the two playthroughs, only repeating like... two, I think. Still, I wasn’t feeling actively bored like I was midway through my second run of CoNY!

Loved seeing more in-depth backstory and development for the coterie members. Agathon’s section was particularly fascinating, literally getting into his head.

And just. Atmosphere and music is so, so good.

Final rating: 9/10. Thank you, Draw Distance, you hit it out of the park.

[snarkwriteswrasslin]

Fake Fic Title: August Rush

Okay, so.. I hope you don’t mind that I did this. This is the second part to [ thoughts of yesterday ] which I posted last night and things get... A little twisty. A little intense, dare I say. Small disclaimer. I do not know how law enforcement / organized crime or any of that truly works, but... I tried. So.. this might not be totally accurate. But hopefully, it’s done in a way that’s not godawful. 

Second disclaimer : we’re going to assume that a little bit of time has passed between the first part and this one, m’kay? so yes.

Obligatory Warnings: mentions of organized crime, a bit of a plot twist, intense fluff, slight angst hurt/comfort, ashley dabbling in things that ashley’s not fully aware of but trying, swearing aaand that’s it. Tomorrow’s piece miiight be a little...spicier. Maybe.

The Squad: 

@kyleoreillysknee | @chasingeverybreakingwave | @xwicker-manx | @rampagewriting  | @wrestlingismyguiltypleasure | @writertoo18 | @adampage | @cabotcoves | @heelsamizayn | @missjenniferb | @unabashedwrestlefics | @cowboyshit | @dietwrestling | @schizoauthoress - huuuge nod to something you said when we were talking earlier. Hope you enjoy it, I had to do it when you bought it up bc I loved the idea so much.

[ wrestling tag doc - if you’re not on here, I will not be tagging you, just to be safe. Don’t want to annoy anyone or anything. ]

                              a u g u s t rush - drew gulak x ofc.

“You cannot tell her what’s happening. I need you to understand this, Agent Gulak.” Daniel Bryan stated the obvious for what had to have been the millionth time since Drew took the case and went in deep cover. On the other end of the line, Drew swore under his breath and managed to calmly reply, “Understood. Did you receive my email?” as a way to change the subject quickly. Otherwise, Drew thought to himself, Daniel is going to pick right up on just how hell bent I am on not obeying my orders to the letter.

“I did. The footage the bugs you planted picked up will go a long way in helping the DEA. If I had to guess, you won’t have to be in much longer. Now I’m gonna ask you again, agent… Can you continue without telling her what you’re involved in?” Daniel repeated himself, pausing to wait for an answer. Oh, he knew perfectly well that Drew had ulterior motivation in taking on this case. If the guy would just confess that to him, he might be surprised what Daniel was prepared to do to help him out.

They’d all been there at some point. You didn’t do this job as long as they had without forming some kind of protective attachment to some of the trapped victims in these things. Hell, he’d definitely done that himself.

But he knew the agent he was handling was… not the kind of guy to ask for help. He’d rather rely on himself than turn to a more seasoned team member and rely on them. The thought had Daniel fuming and preparing himself to do what he might have to do, going to their lead agent and telling them that he believed Agent Gulak may be well on the way to compromising himself.

Drew swallowed hard and tugged at his tie, two things that would’ve been a dead giveaway for Daniel Bryan if he were around to witness, luckily, he wasn’t. He propped his legs on the desk in front of him and took a deep breath, already going into exit strategy mode.

Because there had to be a way to do this and get her out of danger. There had to be. And he wasn’t going to rest until he found that way. 

He’d just hung up when he heard her speak up from behind and he realized that somehow, she’d just heard his entire conversation…

Well fuck, he thought to himself, this is going to be fun. I can’t very well not tell her what’s going on now, can I? She’s obviously just heard the conversation.

“Catalina? What the hell are you doing up? And standing outside of doors? Don’t you know it’s rude to eavesdrop?” he turned accusatory, hoping that it’d make her angry enough not to push him. Not to make him crack and tell her everything.

But one look in those big green eyes of hers as she stepped close… dangerously close… that clearly spelled out that if he thought he was keeping this secret?

He was in for a surprise.

--

I froze in the doorway, focused on processing what I’d just overheard Drew saying to whoever he’d been talking to. When it started to piece itself together, all I could do was stand there, shocked.

He wasn’t what I’d written him off to be. He was trying to do the right thing here and somehow, I never should have had a doubt about that. The fact that I had made me feel like utter shit. I shook my head and my mouth opened, only to close again when nothing would come out. I didn’t even realize he was aware I was in the room until he started angrily barking questions at me and I met his gaze, biting my lip as I stepped into the room and shut the door behind me.

Drew walked over and locked it quickly, pacing back and forth in front of me for a little bit.

I stepped in front of him at one point, stopping him and reaching up to thread my fingers along his tie and tug at it. “For your information… I wasn’t eavesdropping, first of all. I came here to apologize about earlier… The argument in the limo? The one where you basically called me a privileged brat?”

He eyed me, taking a deep breath as our bodies brushed against each other. I paused and toyed with the untied tie, not daring to meet his gaze. Because now that I knew the truth, I felt horrible for the way I’d been handling things since he just waltzed back into my life. He was right. I had been behaving like a brat.

Because I never got closure. I never got to tell him how much him leaving me would hurt. I never got the chance to tell him that I wanted to leave with him and that I loved him, probably more than I’d ever loved anyone.

But he was right here, right now.

It didn’t have to continue like this.

Maybe we could even have a second chance. A better one, especially if I got out and away like I’m trying to.

,, you know how dangerous that is, don’t even go there.” but it was too late. Even as that rebuttal entered my mind, I was indeed already going there. In leaps and bounds and another realization dawned.

This ship hadn’t sailed. I wasn’t ‘over him’ like I claimed. I’d never really stopped loving him.

And what he was doing? 

Was dangerous as hell. What if I lost him somehow? Without at least attempting to act on all this?

“Yeah?” his voice was thicker, and his finger curled beneath my chin, guiding my face so that I had to look him in the eyes. I took a second, staring at him; distracted and he repeated himself again, more firmly this time when he asked exactly what I’d heard.

“Enough to know I was completely wrong. And more than enough to know that maybe you were right earlier. Maybe” I stepped closer, my body pressed against his. He swallowed hard and stared down at me expectantly and I took a deep breath, continuing, “Maybe I was being a brat earlier.”

“There’s absolutely no maybe to it. You were being a complete brat.” Drew countered calmly, reaching around me to lock the door to the room. “But I understand. I left. After I promised I wouldn’t.”

“Did you leaving then have any reason to do with why you’re back now?” I asked the question quietly, hopefully and I found myself holding my breath while I looked up at him and waited on my answer. 

“To an extent. My cover was about to be blown back then. I had to disappear. I’m surprised they let me take this one. My cover could still be blown..” he trailed off, going quiet and raised his hand to my face, taking it in his hand. His thumb rolled over my skin and he took a second or two before continuing, “I had no choice but to disappear. And lie to you about who I was back then. If you knew…”

I nodded because I understood. “I get it.”

His hand moved from my cheek, splayed across the back of my head with his fingers tangled in my hair as he looked down at me and muttered quietly, “I had other reasons for taking this. If your dad is in prison, you’re free. You don’t have to worry about all the measures he goes through to keep you prisoner. I came back for you too.”

I felt my stomach flutter a little and my hand rested palm down against the button front shirt before finally clutching at it as I rose to tiptoe and cautiously planted what I thought would be a clumsy kiss against the corner of his mouth. Drew groaned quietly, his free hand going to my lower back, the hand in my hair tugging, pulling my mouth completely against his as he breathed against my lips, “I’m not leaving without you. And I’m not going to let anything happen to you.”

“Am I in as much danger as my father says I’m in all the time?” the question came out quietly after the kiss broke, the two of us pulling away with flushed faces and breathing heavily. I leaned against him and worked on composure.

This was not what I’d come in here for, but it was everything I wanted -and apparently, needed.

“Worse than. I don’t think that asshole really knows just how many people are after him. So when he cast the net for a new bodyguard for you and I put two and two together...I knew I had to come back.”

I nodded, staring up at him as I took a few deep breaths. I knew his secret now. I mulled it over and quietly, I sat down on the edge of the heavy mahogany desk nearby and started to tell him mine. How I planned to leave and in a few months, send a flash drive of every single illegal and shady thing my father had ever done to the FBI. How I knew I’d have to permanently disappear after doing so because daughter or not, betrayal was not something my father took lightly. As I finished up, Drew was pacing the room again, rubbing his chin in thought.

“Give me the flash drive.”

“But he’ll.. If he even thinks you’re not on the up and up…”

“I can call for backup, Cat. You can’t.”

“Damn it, Drew..”

“Don’t fucking argue with me, Cat. Give me the flash drive. I can get it to my handler. Once my handler has it, we can figure out everything else.” Drew insisted and I nodded, biting my lip.

“I’ll meet you tomorrow night. At 8. I’ll be back at my own apartment then. Pretty sure he’s told you that, he plans to make you camp outside my door to keep me safe. It’s what he did with the others.” I told him as my fingertip trailed over his lips. 

“8, it is.” he muttered quietly, leaning in to pull me into another deep and steady kiss before I hurried out, back down to my own wing of the mansion.