#while the solution would be to simply not care and live my sad little life)

[tardis--dreams]

I wish i could skip forward to December 23 already

[theramblinghockeydude]

Random ramblings

I feel like there is a comparison that can be drawn between the game Mahjong and life. I think those of you that have played will agree. There are times when you get a board that sets up perfect and you breeze through it and you think, man, I wish all boards could be like this. Then there are times, like in life, where the board in front of you is daunting and you think there is absolutely no way that you can solve this one. Where do I even start? So you pick a spot and just start clearing tiles 2 at a time without really knowing what the end will be like. Things go well for a while, and then you hit a spot where you have no clue what move to make next and you take a step back, look over the board, and sometimes you find that next move and move forward, but sometimes there is no next move no matter how many times you search that board, it just isn't going to happen. Now, if you have power-ups you can use one and that can help tremendously and sometimes it even helps enough to get you all the way through. Sometimes it just moves you along to another spot where you are again, stuck, not knowing what move to make next or if there even is one. Again, if you have the power-ups you can use them, but what if you are out of power-ups or none are available at the time? You start over. You try to figure out a better way to achieve the goal. You try something new. Eventually you find the path to victory, just as in life. Power-ups are like friends, there to help out when you need a little extra push. I don't know, just something that ran through my mind today while I was playing.

Last night, Nathan MacKinnon scored 4 goals in a game for the Avalanche. As is customary, hats rained down on the ice after his 3rd goal and completing the hat trick. What rained down on the ice after his 4th goal you ask...a pair of thong underwear. Yes, you read that correct. I have so many questions. Did this person bring them to the game just in case? Did they stop, mid game and reach under and pull them off? Was this planned out, or just spur of the moment? Did Nate keep them? So many questions without answers.

Word is, Zach Parise may sign with the Avalanche after the all-star break. If he does, I may have to abandon Vegas in the playoffs this year and cheer on the Avalanche. I have always wanted to see Parise hoist the Cup. He has always been my favorite UND player and so it would be really cool to see him finally get the ultimate prize, even if it is at the expense of the Golden Knights.

I have had my own struggles over the past few years with mental health and although I can say I am much much better off right now, there are still tough days. What makes me sad is knowing how many suffer, and so many in silence either afraid to tell others for fear of what they will think, or having the mindset of not wanting to trouble/burden others with their problems (I fall into this category) or simply not trusting anybody enough to talk about their feelings because they have been burned one too many times by life and they don't feel safe. What I have and am still learning, is that we don't need to have the solution for those in need we just need to have the time for them. Be for them what they need us to be for them. That might be someone they can confide in, but it may just be somebody they can talk to and laugh with and maybe gain a little bit of that trust in humanity back in their lives. I struggle with that when I talk to those that are hurting because I am a fixer. I want to fix your hurt and take it away. I am learning to just be what they need me to be. I am learning that the most important part of it all, at least I feel like it is the most important part...is to simply be there. Check in and say hello once in a while. Ask how they are doing, how there day went. Share a funny story. Anything can make a difference in someones life when they are struggling and feel lonely or like nobody cares or that life just simply isn't worth it all. I know this was true for me. There were some that would send me a random message and say hello and it made a difference. We are all in this together. God made us to be social and to be there for each other because that is the only way we can truly survive this wild ride of life. If you reach out to somebody that seems like they are struggling and they don't want to talk about it, don't just give up on them, talk to them but be mindful of their boundaries and not to cross them, but simply be there for them as they need you to be or as they can handle. It is really telling to me of where we are in this world that in the online game/community that I am in I see so many people reminding others to be kind to one another, take care of one another, smile with each other and things of that nature. I think we often forget the power of a simple hello.

Until my brain needs to download again...take care all and be well :)

[rosuuu]

Beyond the Music Room- Chapter 5: Our Contrast

TWST Idol AU x Reader (Twisted Idolland)

It had been 3 months since that god-forsaken video and it had mostly faded away into some kind of petty internet drama. eventually, everyone had either just stopped caring or found something else to talk about online. It was pretty obvious after the first few weeks that NRC wasn't going to be making a statement on it and as result, it became all but ancient history. Epel had adjusted well to the Idol scene and as a result of the last words he had shared with Y/N he had thrown himself into more work to completely exile them from his mind. Between the fan signings, meet n’ greets, interviews and concerts there just wasn't any time for him to cling onto the things of the past he once found and held so important.

His priorities had taken a 180 and his personal relationships seemed to drop from the top to the very bottom of the rankings of what was important to him, well when it came to Y/N anyway (This wasn't true, he missed them more and more every day). To put it frankly despite how sad and harsh it was if you asked Epel, there was no longer any room for Y/N L/N in Epel's world. nor was there for him in theirs, It hurt at first. It really did. It hurt worse than anything they ever had experienced but they learned to move on. because just because they had stayed long frozen in regret of the past, the world around them had long since thawed out and begun to move anew. If they couldn't bring themself to move with it there really would be no room for them left in anyone's world.

 Y/N's situation was almost a direct contrast. while Epel threw himself into the spotlight YN did the opposite. straying away to the sidelines and watching such shining idols shine as they always would. They moved with the world following whatever direction the crowd lead them. They did their absolute best not to catch the eyes of anyone lest the past repeats itself. because if Cater had taught them anything, attention is almost never a purely and genuinely positive thing. However, they couldn't exactly place the blame 

on him since Cater wasn't entirely at fault. Y/N had almost completely reverted back to their childlike phase of obeying their parents with little resistance not because they had begun to agree with anything their parents had done. But simply because they no longer had any energy to fight them on every little thing they did disagree with as they once had before. The parties, the gatherings, the compliance. everything soon faded into a monochrome routine. One where the doll would dance just as the puppeteer commanded. even as the doll would crack and wear with time the strings that bound them would stay strong. 

But even so, they would have told themself that they were OK with it. Not happy, God, never happy, but they were fine. They had become used to this monochrome type of life and no longer had any desire or fighting chance to change it. despite the irony, that a song9 specifically a dance for a song had brought them to this standstill of a cycle between living and simply existing. the one thing that could bring colour to this dark world they were trapped within was music. At first, it was just something to do, Their parents had enrolled them in various classes from a young age. Like many others, Y/N had learned to play numerous instruments in their bleak childhood (even after Epel would urger them to skip their lessons in favour to hang out), Soon after the recent development with Epel and their relationship the once dust-ridden grand piano, abandoned in the corner that no one cared enough about to touch slowly found more use.

-YN POV-

Truth be told I've always kind of struggled with the use of files to save audio, But I wasn't exactly like I could just leave it open for my Parent (not to mention peers) to discover it later so I came up with a quick (and maybe a little stupid) solution. Some kind of amateur way to store my compositions with minimal effort. In hindsight, Screen recording my songs and saving them on a video viewing platform and deleting them off my camera roll was a disaster waiting to happen. Maybe it was planned albeit unconsciously. Maybe I was waiting for something like 'that' to happen. One second I was just saving a new composition, something I was quite fond of, and the next it was being posted. By the time I realized my mistakes it was the next morning and had already blown up. An amateur artist only trying to vent out their unprecedented feelings out quietly had backfired.

 I, 'zephyr' the name I had gone by on a whim was now an ‘up and coming new artist taking the music world by storm'  It's sorta surreal really. Something I was so eager to get away from has once again managed to crawl back into my life. So now I exist in person as the ever-obedient and perfect child my parents always wanted but in the deepest corner of my heart when my parents aren't looking I'm the enigmatic zephyr who composes songs at random intervals with little to no known information of the face behind the music. Maybe a part of me knows it's better this way. I'm keeping my distance while at the same time being the truest to myself than I've been in a long time. My songs have no lyrics to go hand in hand with them a bittersweet sort of homage to exactly how my life is now. Not that anyone who listens to my music would know it.

◁ ♫ ▷ -3rd Person POV-

The sun's rays pierce the thin curtains obstructing Y/N from veiw, rousing them from their slumber. It was just now entering winter, more known as the Christmas season, the time for spending time with family and friends, not that Y/N had any, the handful of friends that they had were hardly close to them just some of the children of their parent's associates which wasn't exactly the most ideal friendship but it was easier to fade into the backroung when you assoicated with people, even more, know than yourself, at least that's what they had thought. 

A notification illuminates the screen of Y/N's phone causing them to tiredly grab the small device and click on the notification. as perr usual it was the regular comment theorizing zephyr’s identity or the inspiration behind their songs, maybe even the occasional question of their management. As their fame grew so did the music industry's greed. It was unheard of for someone with no presence whatsoever to make it this big and companies were eager to sign on their new composer (as they liked to call it). Although companies and music were the least of their worries. After all, they had a part to play in their life as a face in the crowd

Getting up they layed out their uniform onto their bed become heading to the bathroom to complete their morning routine complete with some light skincare. Something they have gotten much used to. between staying up late to compose and waking up early to get to school it wasn't per se the healthiest schedule so a basic skincare routine acted as insurance less their ‘friends’ or god forbid their parents to get suspicious and start asking questions ask questions. getting dressed packing their bag and putting their shoes on they sighed. for some reason, they had a bad feeling about today.

——

Beyond the Music Room- Chapter 5: Our Contrast

TWST Idol AU x Reader (Twisted Idolland)

-end-

Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8

Author’s Note ~

WOW…. I really don’t know what to say I suppose I should start with this…

Please don’t kill me… I kinda just disappeared for like 7 months to be honest I don’t know what happened I planned to start writing after I finished my finals but I’m halfway through my first semester of high school and I hadn’t written anything. I can’t promise to have a regular upload schedule but I’ll try my best not to leave y’all hanging for so long

Taglist! (Ask or Dm to be added or Removed)

@sunnyshineblaze​ @lionar0und @cupids-chamber

@hearts-like-iron @raix-lv @lucian-kinnder

@lynihana @otaku-explosion @kiriesdreamworld

@m1chij0u

[simsadventures]

Panopticon: Chapter 27: War Path

Alpha Steve x Omega Reader

Summary: Steve is livid and tries to find you but somebody keeps putting obstacles in his way. You, on the other hand, get to meet the devils and learn some harsh truths.

Warnings: a/b/o dynamics, angst, abduction, slight mentions of torture, life in captivity, lying, swearing, mentions of violence against women, shitty people in general, loads of feels, I would hope, mentions of suicide, mentions of death

Word Count: 3800

A/N: Du dun… Who is ready for some angst? Many of you weren’t happy that we’re taking this route, but it needed to happen because the world is full of assholes who try to make people unhappy. Anyway, so excited about this one, and I can’t wait for you to tell me what you thought. Love you all!! xx

Series Masterlist __ Masterlist 

< Previous Chapter 

“That won’t help to find my Omega, so no!” Steve yelled across the whole room, and even the experienced Alpha fighters gathered in the room couldn’t help but shudder at Steve’s authoritative voice. They were trying to help, coming up with new ideas to try and bring the Circle down, or at least make somebody from the inside communicate with them to tell Steve and his team the location of his Omega. But no idea was good enough for Steve. 

It had been four days. Four days without his precious Omega, and Steve felt like he was slowly losing his mind. He desperately needed you next to him, just to feel your warm, soft skin pressed against his, or to see the light in your eyes whenever you looked at him. But he had nothing. 

He often saw broken Alphas after all that went down on Earth a few years ago, and while he couldn’t really imagine what they must have been feeling at that time, walking like dead men, some of them on the brink of death because they just couldn’t handle their lives without their loved ones, Steve understood it all now. 

He knew he had to concentrate because he felt you in his veins, felt that you were alright considering the circumstances and, most importantly, that you were still alive. That was the sole reason why he didn’t end it yet. But he was hanging on a thread because each day and night he had to spend without you, his mind was going just a little more insane. He was hearing your voice and this morning, he even saw you standing by the bed. He was elated, but when he blinked a few more times, he realised that it was his brain playing tricks on him and that none of what had happened was just a nightmare. 

Moreover, he had to orchestrate a funeral for Peter and Gamora. The sadness over their loss was embedded deep in Steve’s soul, and he knew he would never get over it, even if he got you back. When he got you back, he scolded himself every time he thought of it, but it was to no avail. The desperation and pain seeped deep into his bones, and the once positive Alpha, who used to be full of life was just a walking shell of numbness. 

Sam and Bucky tried to pick up the mood in the room now and then, but they knew all too well that there was nothing they could say or do to make the situation better. The only thing Steve really needed was to get you back, and they empathised with him. Moments after the realisation hit them that you were indeed gone, they rushed to their own huts to check on their own mates. Their bonds felt fine, but the fucked-up situation got into their heads, and they needed to see their loves for themselves. Both Meera and Tina were sitting comfortably in their houses, unaware of the terror going on just mere meters away from them. They all spent the afternoon scenting and crying, their hearts clenching for their friend who was lost in his thoughts and his pain. 

But Steve tried to come up with a solution. He knew Rumlow would take you somewhere far, but not far enough not to brag about it. The circle was almost a day drive so Steve would have bet Rumlow’s hiding place was somewhere between his own house and the hell house they called the Omega haven. But that was still too much land to cover just by foot or by car, since there were so many abandoned houses and warehouses, not even talking about all the hidden places deep in the forests. So, just going somewhere blindly was not an option. 

Then, he thought of using what was left of the functioning camera system between the city and his lands, trying to see if he could pinpoint at least the direction where Rumlow and his team went. But he came up with nothing since most of the cameras had been destroyed soon after the war had started. 

Steve even thought of taking some military dogs and making them sniff your clothes to find you, but that would mean hundreds of kilometres to search, and that was just impossible. Every single thing Steve came up with was a nonsense, and the longer he couldn’t figure out how to find you, the more desperate and angry he had become. His people knew it was nothing personal, but his yelling and blaming was sometimes too difficult to bear for any of them. Steve knew he was being a dick, and he apologised every time his nerves got the better of him, but it was like he couldn’t do anything about it. 

It was when Bucky spoke up with a guilty look that Steve finally got a good idea from somebody. Not that he particularly liked it, but it was something useful at last, and Steve was actually quite angry with himself for not thinking of it sooner. The idea was to call Peggy because she was always able to find Rumlow a little easier than the rest of the world. How that worked exactly Steve never asked, because Peggy was one of those who kept their work pretty shut, and she wouldn’t brag or even talk about it, so Steve had barely any idea of what Peggy really did. There used to be times when he minded when it drove him up the wall, but not anymore. He didn’t care how she did it, the only thing Steve needed was to get you back. 

He called her almost immediately, listening to her smooth voice as she assured him that she would devote a majority of her time to help him because, after all, she still cared for him very much. Steve thanked her from the bottom of his heart and resolved to wait for her to come back to him since there was literally nothing else to do for him but to wallow in his pain. 

Surprisingly, it only took a few hours for Peggy to reach out and tell Steve that she might have found him. His heart started beating like crazy as if feeling that he might be getting you in his arms sooner than he expected. Peggy told him that she got the memo that Rumlow was hiding in an old warehouse south of the manor, around 70 kms away, and Steve just growled, knowing he was kind of right in his assumptions. He quickly gathered his team, not really speaking much, but they all understood. This was a life or death mission because most of the team was sure Steve wouldn’t survive that if they didn’t find you. 

Steve pretty much jumped out of a moving car when they neared the building, and he got to work immediately, going into the commander mode, assigning roles and talking strategy for when they would come in contact with Rumlow’s team. Everything was meticulously planned, and Steve had a good feeling about that. The only issue was that he couldn’t smell you. But he simply thought that he was still far enough to be able to do that and that they were probably keeping you in some shutoff room.

The closer to the building they got, however, the weirder the whole situation felt. No men were standing outside on the lookout, there were no specific smells to tell the team that there were indeed people hiding inside, and when they finally got in, they found the place completely empty. 

They rummaged through all the rooms, even in the basement and on the roof, but the only thing they got was some cloth lightly smelling like Rumlow, but not enough to tell them how long ago he was at the warehouse. Steve screamed in frustration because there was no sign of you, not even a hint of your smell that he so helplessly craved. 

Bucky and Sam shared distressed looks before they each grabbed Steve from one side and brought him back to the car, hollering at the whole team that the mission was over and that they needed to come back home. Steve didn’t speak the entire ride back, just staring out of the window, thinking of all the times you two would take such rides to and from the city, always discussing new books or just sharing stories from your youths. Steve now found that he took these moments for granted. He enjoyed them, sure, but not enough. There was the nagging voice telling him that he should have done more, that he ought to have taken you with him to that fucking meeting, and none of this would have happened. 

“Stop it, punk. None of this is your fault so stop with the self-blaming and call Peggy to tell you what the fuck happened that her tip wasn’t true,” Bucky interjected Steve’s thoughts, and as many times before, Steve wondered whether Bucky could just read him like an open book or if he had a direct link to his brain. Steve shook his head and dialled the number. 

“So, happily ever after?” Peggy said smugly, and if she stood anywhere near Steve, he swore he would have hit her. 

“Nothing and nobody’s fucking happy, Peggy. Nobody was there except for some piece of cloth that was supposed to smell like Rumlow. Who the fuck gave you this tip? I need to find my Omega, and I don’t have the time to drive around the city and march into every single abandoned building just because you have a hunch. I need real information, Peggy, and if you can’t give that to me, then you’re just wasting my time,” Steve said more tiredly than anything else, but Peggy’s face contorted in annoyance on the other end of the line. 

“I never waste your time, Stevie, you remember that. Look, I thought the info was top-notch, but I’ll keep looking. How about I come to your place, and we can think of a plan together?” 

“Yeah, yeah whatever, it definitely can’t harm us. I’ll be expecting you,” Steve sighed and hung up, nodding at Sam who was watching him through the rearview mirror. 

“Peggy said she’d come and help from the mansion. I mean, I’d rather have the whole fucking team together looking for Y/N, but I can’t fly everyone here from god-knows-where, so anyone who wants to join in is welcomed.” 

Sam nodded but didn’t like it one bit. He understood that Steve was desperate, but Peggy was and had always been bad news, and Sam had a hard time trusting her even back in the days when they had to fight side to side. All the secrecy surrounding her just stank, and Sam was sure he’d keep an eye on her, just in case. He wanted everything to go over smoothly for Steve, and nobody needed a sneaky bitch who would throw them under a train the second she got a better deal from the opposing side. 

You let your hand slide on the ground underneath you. It was rough with what felt like small rocks that were cutting you in the palm. You were seated, and your whole body hurt since you have been in this position for hours. Nobody talked to you since they killed your friends and abducted you. They just blindfolded you and tied you up, changing positions every few hours probably to disorient you since you doubted anybody really cared how comfortable you were. All you could do was rely on your senses and learn as much about your surroundings as you could. You weren’t even sure why you cared, but your brain couldn’t take thinking about anything related to Steve, so you busied it by making sure you knew everything you could. 

You learned that there were three places they would keep you in. You presumed that they were all in one room, but they changed whether you were sitting or lying down. You weren’t even sure what time it was and slept when they put you laid you down. Nobody ever touched you inappropriately, and that’s how you assumed not one of those people was Rumlow. 

The first place they would let you sit in was in an old crinkly chair made of rough wood as you had a few splinters from rubbing your hands against the arm-holders. It had four metal legs, and from the sounds, it made every time you shifted, you thought it was a rather old and overused piece of furniture. 

The second place was where you were sitting now. It was by the wall, which was cold and smelt of moss, and you even though you sensed death a few times, you knew that was just your exhausted brain playing games with you. The ground was full of rocks and shards of glass, so it was your least favourite place to be of the three. The ground was colder than all the other areas, and every time they made you stand up, there was a wet patch where your ass touched the ground as the coldness accumulated against your hot body, making you wish you could just change. But your abductees would never answer to your pleas, so after what you assumed were a few days, you just gave up asking them altogether. 

The third place was a makeshift bed, created out of a few pieces of wood pushed together and an old and smelly mattress. You tried to ignore all that the smell evoked in you, but you sometimes choked on your own saliva as you shifted and changed position, getting another whiff of what smelt like a hundred of butts and sweat. But it was a mattress, and you could get a few hours of sleep, so you couldn’t dwell on the details. 

When you found out everything there was with your surroundings you tried to pay attention to your abductors. And while you couldn’t say precisely how many there were, you had a pretty good idea. As you were an Omega, blindfolded and cuffed, they always came alone, and you recognised each of the people by their steps. There were four of them, each of them having differences in their weight, the length of their steps and the carefulness with which they handled you. That’s how you came up with the number of four. 

Number two was by far your favourite. They (you assumed it was a he but you couldn’t be sure) would always leave you alone even when you needed to use the bathroom. You knew they were in the room, but they had the decency to at least not physically touch you, and, in your mind, you created this picture that the person even turned around to leave you to do your business. They would also give you the biggest amount of water, seeing how you were parched because number four was a complete asshole and would always allow only a gulp before he drastically took the cup away from your mouth. 

And that was your days, filled with diverting your brain from thinking about the graver questions, like where were you, would Steve ever find you, what did they want from you, etc. Every time any of those popped up in your head, you choked up, and had to start touching your surroundings or else you’d have gone insane by now. 

It was when number three was supposed to come and let you sleep that you heard it. It was faint, but your ears perked up at anything that wasn’t your own breath or the sound of boots of your abductors hitting the ground. And this was neither. These were human voices talking about something behind the door. Your heart-rate picked up immediately because, while you hated the routine of four guards and three positions, you also knew that routine was good. Anything that was out of the routine could possibly mean death to you, and you tried to do anything to avoid that. The voices grew nearer, and you shuddered involuntarily, bracing yourself. 

When the door opened, the cold air hit your face, and you hid it between your shoulder blades. 

“Well, well, well, here is the famous Omega the world is searching for. You look so pathetic, it’s actually quite funny,” you heard a female voice say, and your brows knitted together. You heard it before, you just couldn’t place the voice for the life of you. 

“Yeah, well, the sooner she stops pining for that pathetic excuse of an Alpha and becomes mine, she will look much better. I mean, not that anybody’s gonna see her since she is just an Omega pussy, but she is my Omega pussy, so,” the man trailed off, and you didn’t have to think to place this voice. This voice haunted your worst nightmares, so you were pretty familiar with it. 

Rumlow

“Whatever, Rumlow. All we need is to get rid of her mating mark, and we’ll be good. Steve called me and found the warehouse where I sent him empty, and I, as a devoted friend, told him I’d help him from the mansion so I’ll have easy access to him and I will divert him from here if need be. You just need to do what you must so that I can have him back,” the woman spat, and it was as if a light bulb switched on. God, you felt stupid for not suspecting she had her ugly fingers in this. Fucking Peggy who obviously wanted Steve back even when she visited him all those months ago. 

And while it was nice that Steve didn’t feel the same, this woman was clearly a maniac, and she wouldn’t stop at anything to get what she wanted. 

But, there was one more thing that caught your attention. They wanted to get rid of your mating mark, and the thought paralysed your whole body. There were only a few ways to do that to any mated couple, and none of them was humane or accepted by most people. You’ve heard of Omegas trying to sever their bonds as they didn’t like who chose them, and so they cut a clean line across their mark, but even then the bond couldn’t be severed completely. There was also the option of just biting an Omega hard enough where their mates’ mark was, and trying to beat mark with a mark. 

You also heard that true mates were inseparable, and while Bruce told you that you were true mates, you could never know for sure. The inseparableness of true mates could just as well be some old maid tales, it was one of the things your mother used to tell you, but you had no idea where the truth was. 

The only thing you did know was that however they wanted to do it, you would go through hell, both physically and mentally, and that there was a more than likely chance that you would die in the process. 

“You’re not afraid she’ll die on you?” Peggy asked more curious than concerned because, for her plan to work, your ties with Steve had to be cut. She would have preferred killing you since it was easier, quicker and with long-lasting results. But Rumlow had been obsessed with you ever since he lost the fight with Steve back at the Circle. When Peggy heard about it, she just scoffed and told him he was an idiot, because if he would have called her, she could have just snuck you out without anyone knowing and they wouldn’t have been in this mess. 

“I mean, there’s always the possibility, but I’m not letting her run around with his mark. I wouldn’t like pounding a pussy marked by somebody else. Besides, she’s stronger than she looks, isn’t it right, pussycat?” Rumlow asked, for the first time addressing you. But you knew better than to talk, so you just remained quiet, and from the low hum coming from his mouth, you assumed it was a good decision. 

“And what if that bullshit about true mates is real?” 

“Oh, please, not you too. Nothing like true mates exists, Peggy, I told you. Some just smell nicer to particular individuals than others, that’s it. I don’t even know why we’re losing time talking about this. Go and do whatever you want with Steve and his estate and I’ll just do what I want with this one,” Rumlow rumbled, and the next thing you heard was the clicking of high-heels against the hard floor, leaving you alone in the room with the devil. 

“Now, sweetheart, I think we should begin, hm?”

“Oh, Stevie, you don’t look good. Here, let me bring you to your bedroom so you can rest and the team and I will search for your mate in the meantime, hm?” Peggy suggested nicely, and Steve nodded, happy there was somebody who could possibly save you. But before she put her claws on his arm, Sam appeared out of nowhere and stopped her hand. She hissed like a cat and Sam gave her an are-you-fucking-kidding-me look. 

“I think it would be better if you stayed down here, Peggy, as you said, you are such a valuable asset to this team that I wouldn’t want to you to waste your time by going with Steve here. I will accompany him to his bedroom so that he can get some sleep, and, meanwhile, you can work with Bucky,” Sam smirked but didn’t wait for her response as he led Steve towards the staircase and up to his bedroom. There was no fucking way in hell Sam would let Peggy be with Steve alone. And since he shared his worries with Bucky, there were two of them looking out for their best friend, which left Peggy in a tough position. 

She watched Sam and Steve leave the room, and Bucky would laugh hadn’t it been such a delicate situation, because Peggy really looked like the Goddess of Revenge. That just further proved Sam’s theory about Peggy being fishy, to say the least, and Bucky was starting to question whether she didn’t have something to do with your disappearance. 

Peggy saw right through them, and she smirked to herself. If they wanted to play games with her, so be it. She would get Steve alone and inject the serum in him she had been making for so long, and they would finally live happily ever after. Just like they were supposed to. All she needed was to stay close to Steve for a couple of days, get him alone enough times, and he would be all hers. 

/ Next Chapter > 

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[tripleaxeldiaz]

you’re my living proof my love is alive

for @eddiediaz HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAY <33

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“Did you ever think we’d get here?”

Eddie opens his eyes, the shade of the tree they’re under saving him from an assault of sunlight. He’d been dozing off and on, lulled by the warm day and the soft breeze and Buck’s fingers raking through his hair where his head rested on his lap. But something about Buck’s voice — not a sadness, not an edge, but something — wakes him up fully, and he rolls onto his back to look up at Buck’s face. He follows where Buck’s eyes have landed — on their family, spread out around them, absorbed in their own conversations while kids flit in and around them like over excited butterflies. He’s looking at them wistfully and in some sort of awe, and Eddie waits for him to elaborate.

“To the park?” he asks slowly when it looks like an explanation isn’t coming. “It’s like a 10 minute drive from our house.”

Buck tugs his ear, fighting and losing to the smile spreading on his face. “No, asshole. I mean all of this. Our family. You and me. Did you ever imagine we’d get a life like this?”

The breeze seems to blow a little cooler as Eddie takes that in, because honestly? No. All of this, the joy that he’s found here, is brighter and better than anything he ever let himself dream about.

And it’s not that he never thought he’d be happy or filled with some kind of lightness. It just wasn’t a priority — not when he had a team to lead or a marriage to try and fail to fix or a kid to take care of on his own. Everything and everyone else came first because those were things he could handle, tangible things with some kind of concrete solutions, the direct opposite of the amorphous, unreachable discomfort that always seemed to sit right at the base of his skull. And there were moments of joy, especially with Christopher — his smile, his laugh, the way he lit up at any opportunity to learn something new. Those were good moments, great moments, and Eddie treasured all of them, locking them up tight in his heart because they were sometimes the only things that got him through the day.

But still. No matter what, at the end of the day, he’d find himself in bed, surrounded by silence, fighting off the aching loneliness that grew stronger as the sun went down. Only then would he let himself indulge — he’d imagine a dip in the mattress next to him, warm skin begging for his touch, craving that feeling of being wanted by someone else despite the demons and nightmares that still haunted him.

He doesn’t really know if it made the loneliness better or worse.

Moving to LA helped — a fresh start for both of them, more opportunities, no one hovering over his every move waiting to swoop in the minute he made a mistake. He felt lighter, excited even, like maybe now things would actually turn around for him, like maybe he was ready to fill that space that sat in his heart. Maybe Shannon coming back was a sign that she was supposed to fill it the whole time, just like he thought when they were 19.

But then she left, permanently, just as quickly as she came, and suddenly he wasn’t sure of anything his heart or soul was telling him anymore.

So he threw himself back into what he knew best — being there for everyone else. Whether at work or with Chris, his focus was solely on the outside, ignoring any pangs of longing or indulgences because they didn’t matter. A person could only survive so many broken hearts in their lives, and he’s certain that watching the life fade out of Shannon’s eyes with no way of stopping it was the last one he’d be able to handle. It wasn’t a waste, this focusing on other people, and he wasn’t unhappy — how could he be when he had the best kid, the best friend, the best family that he’d cobbled together for himself, that had saved him time and again without even knowing it?

The loneliness lingered, though. It wrestled with the fear he felt so hard sometimes it blew the breath right out of his lungs. He thought he did an okay job of hiding it until Bobby sat him down and told him it was okay to move on, that it was okay to want to let someone in, to not carry the burdens on his own anymore. And he knew that, rationally, but that wasn’t the problem.

The problem was that in the moments when his resolve cracked, his indulgences were no longer faceless. They had broad shoulders and strong arms, a halo of curls and eyes so blue they put the ocean to shame. 

The problem was that this person was real and solid, an unshakeable presence in his and Chris’ world who smoothed out creases and stitched up tears in a way that was helpful, not in a way that made Eddie feel guilty for letting things get creased in the first place.

The problem was that the person his stupid, lonely heart had let in, without his consent, without him even noticing, was the person he knew would shatter his heart into a billion, unrepairable pieces if he ever lost him. 

So he settled instead. 

He found someone who was nice and low maintenance and good with Chris and it was enough. Or almost enough. Or as close to enough as he felt he deserved.

He feels another tug at his ear. “Did I lose you? Pretty sure your eyes just glazed over for like two minutes.”

Nothing he does gets past Buck, that’s for sure, and the knowledge of that warms him better than the sunshine. He reaches up and threads their fingers together, kissing the back of Buck’s hand before resting both on his chest, over his heart. He sighs, eyes slipping closed again. “Sorry. Zoned out for a second.”

“And forgot my question,” Buck says, squeezing his hand. “So did you? Imagine this? Or something like it, I guess.”

He’s better with words than he used to be, can be straightforward with his feelings without breaking out into a cold sweat. But still, these words stick, because years and countless therapy sessions later, he knows exactly how deep the darkness went back then, and he hates thinking about it. Hates remembering the full body ache of loneliness, how dull and bleak it made everything seem.

But also, he can’t — won’t — lie to Buck, and he’s warm enough now, surrounded by sunlight and laughter and Buck’s hand on his chest, that he’s not worried about being pulled under again.

“No,” he finally says. “I didn’t let myself think about anything like this for a really long time. But when I finally did, it was never as good as the real thing.”

Buck hums but doesn’t say anything else. He traces carefully over Eddie’s knuckles and the back of his hand, and Eddie almost falls asleep again. 

“What changed your mind?” Eddie opens his eyes and Buck’s looking down at him now, an intense curiosity in his eyes, like he was just cycling through everything he knows about Eddie trying to figure out what made him believe in love again.

Knowing Buck, he probably was.

Eddie’s happy to save him the trouble. “I got shot,” he says simply, and Buck’s hand finally stills. Eddie reaches up, cupping Buck’s cheek, relishing in the way he automatically leans into his palm.

“I got shot,” he says again, “and you saved me, in every way you possibly could.”

It’s true — it wasn’t the first time a bullet had found a path through him, or even the first time he’d seen his life flash before his eyes. But as he lay there in the street, hot asphalt underneath him, weaker by the second, the only things running through his head were Chris and Buck and ChrisandBuck, and his only regret was that Buck didn’t know — about his guardianship of Chris, about how he made Eddie feel something like hopeful for the first time in years, any of it.

As his vision blacked out, Buck’s face streaked with blood and panic was the last thing he saw, and he vowed to make sure Buck knew everything if he made it out of this.

Of course, nothing is ever that easy. 

After he woke up, with Buck’s name on his lips but Ana’s hand in his, everything became a waiting game. 

He waited for Buck to show up at the hospital, out of breath but still so dazzling, his very presence making Eddie feel like he could run a marathon right then. 

He waited for them to finally be alone so they could talk, but only got through telling him about the guardianship before Buck got a text from Taylor that made him smile so softly the rest of Eddie’s speech died in his throat. 

He waited to break it off with Ana long enough that he didn’t seem like a jackass, waited as Buck and Taylor flew higher and higher before crashing, waited for days and weeks and months, waited, waited, waited. 

But it didn’t hurt. All that time, it wasn’t excruciating, it didn't feel like a waste, because he knew from the minute he woke up that he was waiting for something. He could feel the anticipation burning up inside him, and it wasn’t going to be for nothing this time. 

Finally, finally, just as naturally as they had fallen into each other’s lives the first time, they fell together again — in the dim light of Eddie’s kitchen, empty beer bottles and raw, unfiltered words between them, reliving the day they hadn’t been able to talk to each other about for the past nine months. Eddie’s hands shook and Buck took them in his and Eddie knew this was his moment. 

He looked Buck dead in the eye and said, “You’re the reason I’m sitting here right now, and I’m in love with you.”

The evening air crackled in the silence, and neither of them moved. Eddie was pretty sure even his blood had stopped flowing as he waited, until suddenly everything snapped. 

Suddenly they were both leaning in, suddenly they were kissing and whispering I love yous soft and desperate across each other’s skin.

Suddenly everything began.

He shakes his head a bit as he comes back to the present. Buck doesn’t say anything this time, just smiles and kisses the center of Eddie’s palm where it’s still resting on his cheek, tangles their fingers together again before placing them back on Eddie’s chest. 

“You saved me too, you know,” Buck says quietly. “I wasn’t the one who got shot, but still, you did. You always do.”

“Always will,” Eddie says, because it’s true, and the easiest promise he’s ever made. Buck is his hope, his light in the dark, every other cheesy cliche, and Eddie will work for the rest of his life to make sure Buck feels safe and loved. It’s the least he could do for all that Buck has given him.

They lapse back into quiet, enjoying the sounds of the park and their family, and Eddie feels something he's been too afraid to name until now, a holdout from years of guarding himself.

He’s happy. Truly, with no caveats or strings attached, unbelievably happy. 

[boldlyanxious]

Love in the Time of Taco Trucks

Jasonette July SC 2: fluff

Part of bittersweet ever after

My masterlist

Marinette had been stuck on a series of buses all evening and she was exhausted. Her work day was long and the subway was backed up. The bus should have gotten her back over an hour ago, but she was not the only person who switched to the bus after waiting too long at the subway platform. She was hungry and tired and didn’t want to have to cook when she got home. Luckily she had spied the taco truck down the block so she had a plan for that.

She smiled as she approached Grant, the taco truck guy. She had been there a few times when her tips were good, so she was familiar with him. He was so proud of having called his taco truck Tuesday so it could always be taco Tuesday. He told her that joke every time. She rushed down the block and waved at him when it seemed like he was cleaning up for the evening.

“Please serve me before you close, Grant. I’m desperate,” she begged.

“Long day?” she nodded at him. “I have just enough for one order.”

He looked to his left and made a sad face at her. Marinette looked over. There was a man with a mask approaching.

“Sorry Marinette, I can’t serve you tonight.”

She didn’t even get a chance to protest because Grant had turned and greeted the masked man.

“Good evening, Red Hood.”

“How is it going Grant? Is it too late for tacos?”

“It is never too late for you. I’ll have them right out.”

“Seriously?? This day sucks.”

Marinette felt silly at the rage that filled her but she couldn’t help it. Her whole day was filled with people expecting special treatment and then her commute home was so long and full of more people who had no concern for the inconvenience they caused others. She had been so happy at the simple solution only to be denied when someone else showed up to get special treatment.

She barely felt the first couple drops of rain when she stepped away from the taco truck. But before she was even halfway down the block the water was pouring down on her. She ran for the nearest awning to get out of the deluge. She dug through her bag but she must have left her umbrella at work. She heard footsteps splashing the wet ground behind her and then stopped. She turned when the man’s voice spoke.

“Hey, Marinette?”

She hadn’t expected him to know her name. She wondered what Grant had told him about her. She was trying to place who he was. She didn’t know all the costumed alter egos in Gotham and always felt awkward when others talked about them. Most Gothamites already knew most of them and assumed others would as well. She supposed it was the same way with how it had been in Paris when Hawkmoth had been active.

“Yes?” she said hesitantly.

“Grant said you had been ordering food but he only had enough for one. I had him make it into nachos to spread out the ingredients so that way there would be enough for both or us.”

He handed her a box. She looked up at him when she accepted it.

“Um, thanks. I was really disappointed.”

“Probably how I felt watching you walk away.”

“What??” Marinette looked up at him quickly.

“Can I walk you home? I have an umbrella.”

Marinette nodded. It may not have been the best idea. She found that out more the next day when she mentioned that she had met the Red Hood. Her coworkers wanted to know how she had gotten away and if Batman had come to rescue her. She chose not to give any additional details. He had seemed very sweet walking her home. They had started off in silence but he asked a few questions and worked out that she had a really rough day. He listened to her and wished her a good evening before he left.

---

She was starting to think that Red Hood was planning their meetings. Grant refused to confirm, but it was the third week in a row that he had just happened to show up when she was walking past the taco truck. Each time he insisted on getting her tacos because he had made her think that she would have to go without on a day she really needed them. The first time could have been a chance. The second time it could have been his routine. The third time was definitely suspicious. But now, she looked down the street and Grant was already closed.

It was a shame. Red Hood had surprised her with tacos three weeks in a row and now she was craving them today. Oh well, she had food at home she could make. Somehow tacos always sounded better. Even if they weren’t free courtesy of the notorious crime lord Red Hood.

She was a little surprised when Grant called to her from behind the taco truck. She had thought he was closed up and gone already. She was really surprised when she rounded the corner and saw the set up. There was a blanket laid out and lights strung around. The area was hidden enough that someone would have to look around the truck to see them. That was probably best for a crime lord who may not like to stay out in the open. He was sitting there at ease, waiting for her, with probably enough tacos to feed an army. Marinette couldn’t help the smile at seeing it all.

“What is all this?”

“Tacos.” he said with a laugh.

“Okay, smart guy. Why did you get an entire taco truck worth of tacos today?”

“Sit with me.”

Marinette tucked her legs under herself and sat in front of him on the blanket. He handed her a plate with tacos and picked up one himself. Neither spoke for a few minutes. Marinette followed his lead and started eating. He stopped eating and watched her for a moment.

“I like you,” he said simply.

She almost choked on her taco. She suspected as much since he kept showing up. She didn’t think he was just interested in her thoughts on how to improve fashion to be useful to workers or how to improve the look or the various heroes and villains in the city. But he stated it so clearly and easily that it somehow made it more difficult to take in.

“Oh-uh-aahh. I like you too.”

“Really? You don’t sound so sure.”

“You just came right out and said it. Who does that?”

“Well, I do.” he paused. “So I guess Jason does.”

“Jason?”

“Yes. Jason. Me.”

“You told me your name. Isn’t that like vigilante 101? Keep your identity secret.”

“Probably. But I don’t want to be a secret from you. I want to know you.”

---

It was much easier for Marinette to date Jason than it would have been to date Red Hood. He had managed to keep his identity and personal life away from his home life because of the mask. Even those who knew who he was by given name had no idea where he lived or that he was dating a waitress. Grant knew but he was very loyal to Red Hood. They may have met through the protection racket, but Red Hood had proved he was worth it when the Black Mask had come knocking. Literally.

They had come on a night Grant’s daughter was running the truck for him. She usually only helped out on busy nights and wouldn’t be alone but Grant had been sick and she set up for him. They must have decided that she was easy to convince and went after her when she was there alone. But she refused to pay so they trashed the truck and knocked her around a bit as a means of convincing her. Red Hood had heard the shouts and crashes and saw her land on the ground after being shoved into the door. She had turned the handle to help her escape the onslaught but she broke her leg in the fall. Her lip was already split from being slapped.

Red Hood did not even need to ask what had happened. He saw Black Mask’s goons exit after her and walk up to her menacingly. He waited until they were fully out and focused on tormenting the girl before he attacked them. He never found out if they survived the beat down he gave them. He didn’t even care. He stayed with Kara until her parents were able to come and get her help. Red Hood visited Grant a couple days later. He assured him that his truck would be in business again and covered all the expenses not covered by the business insurance. Property and injury. Grant never complained about the protection money and Jason never paid for another taco.

It was their first time visiting the taco truck together after officially starting dating. Grant didn’t say anything about the boyfriend Marinette showed up with who had the same build as Red Hood. He served them with a smile, not even a wink when he told them their meals were on the house.

He had even taken Marinette’s favorite picture of them. Jason was teasing Marinette as he snatched her last taco. He was putting it up to his mouth but rather than trying to fight with him over it, she lunged at him and bit the other side. The picture was snapped right as they both were appearing to eat the taco. She cheered in triumph for besting him. He laughed and put her taco down before he leaned in and kissed her for the first time.

---

Jason grasped Marinette by the shoulders and kept her upright. He ended up having to leave her for a few minutes to handle something that couldn’t wait. He was incredibly frustrated at the interruption but she just took the bumps in their relationships as they came. It was one of the things he loved about her. She never shamed him when his work interfered with their relationship. She knew he worked hard to make sure that his work wouldn’t interfere but that their decision to keep her hidden from everything in his criminal life would sometimes take precedence over their plans.

She had been perfectly happy to sit and wait. But she had wanted to wait for him to order food. She had a bit of bread with her drink. Jason had left the instruction to keep her happy while he was out back on the call. He found out when he returned that they might have kept her too happy. Her drink was full when he returned but based on the check she had drunk several of the drinks in the time he was away.

She was drunk. She was teetering on the line between tipsy and happy drunk. He liked her like this. Happy and affectionate. He almost decided to just carry her back home but she squealed with delight when she saw the taco truck. She hadn’t had more than a couple pieces of bread and plenty of drinks. He looked over and Grant was waving at them.

Jason smiled down at her while he let Grant fix them the usual. Marinette turned and kissed him while they waited. She usually didn’t like to be overly affectionate in public but when her inhibitions were lower she cared far less about them being noticed. He could see that Grant was trying not to laugh at him as he tried to keep her from doing more than he knew she preferred before they got home. It was much easier once the food was ready. She clapped in excitement to get her tacos. She probably enjoyed the food more than the fancy dinner he had planned.

He watched her sit to eat, not even wanting to wait until they made it home. She looked back up at him and smiled then looked devastated as her taco dumped out onto her tray. He got up to retrieve her a fork. He didn’t think she would even hear his wistful comment in her current state.

“You silly beautiful woman.” He kissed her on the head before he sat back down. “I was supposed to be asking you to marry me right now.”

He was looking at the small box from the fancy restaurant. He just took it with him, planning to remove the ring and come up with a new proposal plan. He glanced back at her. She was looking at him, frozen. It took him a moment to figure out what had made her react like that. Her eyesb were wide but somehow got even wider when he opened the box. A gleaming diamond ring was displayed in the fancy slice of cake.

“You want to marry me?”

“I have never wanted anything more.” he said seriously.

Marinette didn’t even answer. She lunged at him and hugged him. He tried to stop everything from falling but her tray of tacos and the slice of cake hit the ground. He had to hold himself steady to keep her from knocking him to the ground with the force of her enthusiasm. He pushed her hair back from her face and leaned down to kiss her deeply.

“Marry me?” he asked when he pulled away.

“Always.” she said as she leaned to kids him again.

---

It was a small ceremony. Jason had family but he didn't talk to them and Marinette’s situation was even more complicated. They kept the engagement short and invited only a few people. Jason’s idea was to do it behind the taco truck since it seemed to always make an appearance in their lives. But Marinette wanted some place prettier. She found a park with an old stone stair path that came out of the trees and into a clearing. It wasn’t by the seating area in the park but with a few flowers and battery powered fairy lights it turned out perfect.

They did it at dusk when the city was quiet. Darkness had just settled. Jason almost fell over when he saw Marinette walk towards him. She hadn’t let him see anything of the dress ahead of time but he knew she had spend countless hours working on it. A pale gold dress with thousands of tiny rose gold beads sewn on and tiny fairy lights attached to the dress. Her hair was swept up with glittering jewels and curls cascading down her back.

He was the luckiest man alive. Not even because he was alive for the second time. He had her and he was better for it. He couldn’t even bring himself to think of the 'what if they had never met' or he had never followed after her that first night. He wouldn’t have anything in his life if she weren’t smiling at him like she was right now.

Having the taco truck cater for the small wedding was the first decision made after they found the ring in the cake and dirt. Grant had come out to congratulate them and Marinette had happily declared that they had to have tacos at the wedding. It seemed fitting since Grant had been at all the big moments from the beginning of their relationship. He felt like family.

---

Marinette ventured into their living room to see that Jason had already set out coffee and was bringing a tray that presumably had breakfast if the smell was anything to go on. She sat at the breakfast bar and poured coffee into the two mugs he had set out. She paused with the cream halfway tipped toward the coffee when she spotted a familiar logo on a take out box.

“What’s this?” she asked, pointing at the offending box. “Did you get tacos without me?”

He pushed the box towards her with a grin.

“Open it,” he said.

She looked at him skeptically but opened it like he suggested. There were a couple bits of food in the empty box but not the tacos she was hoping he would surprise her with.

“Gee, thanks.” she said, before pushing it into the trash.

The grin melted off his face and he frantically went for the box in the trash. He pulled it out and opened it before flipping it over and checking the bottom. He stuck his finger through a small hole and wiggled it. He dug back into the trash briefly before dropping the box in the can and tearing frantically around the apartment. Marinette was worried at the unexplained reaction as he crawled along the floor and flipped over cushions. She abandoned the coffees on the counter to follow him when he moved towards the bedroom.

“Jay, what’s wrong? I’m not mad about the tacos. I know you were out late and I was already asleep.”

“It was your gift.”

“You got me tacos and they escaped into the apartment?”

“No, I got you a hamster and it escaped in the apartment.”

“A hamster?”

“I know we said anniversary gifts weren’t necessary and that we both prefer spontaneous gifts but it was. I saw it in the window on the way home last night and remembered that you had always wanted a hamster.”

“Maybe the taco box wasn’t the best place for it overnight.”

“I’m not that ridiculous. I put it in the box just a few minutes ago when I heard you waking up.”

He opened the closet and pulled down a box from the high shelf. It was full of all the things they could think to need with a hamster. The hamster case was set up and looked to have a little snuggly area where it had spent the night. The only thing missing was the hamster. They looked all over. It was an exhausting day and they ended up missing their dinner reservation for their 2 year anniversary. They ended up sprawled on the couch snuggling at the end of the day with no sign of the hamster.

Taglist

@jasonette-july-event | @theymakeupfairies | @emjrabbitwolf | @vixen-uchiha | @trythisagainlove | @trippingovermyfeet | @tbehartoo | @adrestar | @zynna | @laurcad123 | @woe-is-me0

[jaskiersvalley]

I just reached the bottom of your writings and felt the need to say that i appreciate you. You’re really cool and im happy I stumbled upon you.

You are far far too sweet. This has been sat in my inbox for so long because I don't think anyone has called me cool before and I wanted to bask in that. I really appreciate you too and I'm really happy you stumbled upon my blog. So I hope you're still in the fandom and enjoy this little bit of odd zombie AU.

CW: Zombies, apocalypse, Resdent Evil/Last of Us inspired AU.

Last Hope

Nobody expected the Continent to turn to shit. War had been on the horizon, Nilfgaard was advancing but not once did anyone expect them to have been experimenting with creating superior soldiers to fight for them. Allegedly the idea had been to harvest some of the Continent's monsters' attributes and imbue them into soldiers, creating a new class of warriors. It hadn't worked. But what Nilfgaard did manage to create was a virus like no other before. It turned humans and animals into mindless, violent creatures whose sole purpose was to feed, preferably on human flesh. The virus spread like no other, bringing the whole Continent to its knees.

Pockets of survivors remained, walled up in thick stone keeps. Kaer Morhen was one such sanctuary. Witchers, it turned out, weren't immune to the virus. Letho had watched Serrit and Auckes succumb to it, had put them down before setting light to where they'd been trying to stay safe and he set off to find somewhere, anywhere, that would accept him. The cold didn't impact much on the undead, they still moved just as deadly fast, unencumbered by things like fatigue, hunger or frostbite. Still, he made it up to the keep and was welcomed in. It was probably the most full Kaer Morhen had been in a long time. There were witchers, sorceresses, humans, dwarves, vampires and who knew what else, all coexisting and trying to make the best of their lives.

"I heard rumours," Letho said over dinner. "There's someone immune to this whole wretched thing down South."

"And I heard a rumour that taking a shit over the parapets cures piles," Lambert shot back with a snort. Being cooped up with so many people didn't exactly suit him, even when Aiden was there along with Eskel too.

Yennefer sat up straighter. "I've heard that rumour too. Sent word out that if it's true, we're probably best placed to try and find what makes the person so special. Maybe derive a cure from them."

Not long after, Gaetan arrived with Guxart. And with some news.

"There's a man and a girl travelling North. Allegedly with the hope of a cure."

The others exchanged looks, not wanting to believe rumours. Hope was a dangerous thing, but they could all use a dose of it. Things had been bleak to say the least.

Guxart picked up the story. "There's a lot of people gunning for them. So far they've evaded being captured, left quite a bloody trail too. We saw what remained of a tavern. Allegedly the group living there had been luring in weary travellers with the promise of safety, only to throw them into a fighting ring." Unfortunately such stories weren't unusual, humans had the most disdainful ideas of entertainment at times. Guxart pressed on, "If it was those two then I hope they're not headed here. They left no survivors, cleared out the place of humans and undead alike. It was a massacre."

There was nothing to do but wait. A week passed, then another. The hope they'd felt at the mention of a possible path to a cure dwindled and turned into bitter disappointment at the backs of their minds. It was almost three weeks later that there was a commotion on the path to the old keep. The undead who lurked in the trees were snarling and howling as two figures broke into a sprint on the last stretch of the path, pursued by quite a hoard of hungry zombies.

"Get the gate!" Vesemir bellowed and it was a mad dash to open the gates while armed. They weren't quick enough and a scuffle broke out as the two travellers were up against the gates, the undead descending upon them. A sharp scream went up from what sounded like a young girl. The gate opened and Eskel reached out, pulling her in first before Lambert gruffly yanked her protector in too. The others pushed to slam the gates shut, bolting it once more.

"Cahir! Are you okay?" The girl ignored them all in favour of checking over her guardian, wisps of blonde hair sticking to her sweaty face.

"I'm fine." A gruff answer and the so called Cahir looked up at them with an exhausted, hollow gaze. "This is Kaer Morhen, right? We were told this is where we had to come. She's Ciri, I'm Cahir."

Vesemir stepped forward with a brisk nod. "Welcome. Let's get you settled. From what I hear, you had quite the journey."

Yennefer ushered Ciri away and the others trailed after her, curious to see what someone immune to the virus looked like, acted like. The left Eskel to lead Cahir to a room of his own.

"Nilfgaard's quite a way," he said by way of conversation, ignoring the way Cahir rubbed his wrist under his cloak.

"Vicovaro is even further." The answer was a little prim and offended. "I'm not Nilfgaardian."

"My apologies. If you want to clean up, we have a communal bath in the lower levels. You're welcome to join us."

The offer seemed to go ignored as Cahir simply flopped on the bed and closed his eyes without even kicking off his worn boots. Eskel couldn't begrudge him, such a journey was long and tiring even before the world went to shit. To then have to cross the Continent while chased by who knew how many people wanting his precious charge and the unending masses of undead no doubt made the whole thing exhausting.

Dinner was bubbling away in a large cauldron over a fire and the chores for the day were done. It was quite common for most of the residents of Kaer Morhen to settle in the baths, one of the few remaining luxuries left for them. To everyone's surprise Cahir bumbled in a little while later, still sleep rumpled but without his cloak. It left his ragged and torn shirt in full view, including where one sleeve had been ripped off at the elbow. On his lower arm was a freshly applied bandage with blood that had seeped through in an all too telling pattern. Cries of alarm went up as they spotted the bite.

"You've been bitten!"

"How could you endanger us like this?"

"You idiot!"

It was a cacophony as various witchers jumped out of the baths, reaching for their swords and heedless of their nudity. There was a very real danger in their midst that needed to be taken care of. Cahir held up his hands in a placating manner, surrendering without a fight.

"If I may?" He pulled his shirt over his head and the others tried to make sense of what they were seeing. His body was littered with scars from bites. Some were healed, others still scabbed over. When the trousers slid down, Cahir's legs were no different.

"What the-?" Lambert scowled.

It was the exact moment Yennefer arrived, Ciri in tow. She gave Cahir a once over. "It would seem we made some assumptions. Cahir, when you're rested and fed, I'd like to take a sample of your blood and hair please."

Next to her, Ciri giggled and tucked a strand of hair out of her face. She walked up to Cahir and took his bandaged arm in hand, inspecting his handiwork.

"You're getting better at this," she announced. "Hopefully it's the last one you've taken for me or anyone else though."

Her words were followed by an eerie silence in the baths as the others mulled over everything.

"So-" Eskel rubbed the back of his neck with a small frown, "-is Ciri your daughter?"

A bright laugh bubbled out of Ciri at that. "If only I was so lucky. I was his escort and bodyguard. Our pursuers often assumed that me being so young looking meant I was the immune one and Cahir was protecting me. That deception worked well for us."

Guxart cleared his throat. "We saw a tavern that was a fighting ring."

Both Ciri's and Cahir's faces darkened at that. It was Cahir who answered.

"We survived. But barely." His hand rubbed over his shoulder where a large chunk had been torn out, leaving a visible dent. "Had to lay low and recover for a while after that. Ciri injured her throat."

"And you got a bitch of a fever. You're the worst patient ever, always fidgeting and poking. It's a miracle only that bite got infected so bad."

Cahir stuck his tongue out at Ciri and she poked him in the stomach. In turn Cahir ruffled her hair and danced away. Taking it as a challenge, she dashed after him and gave him a shove that sent him flying, landing with a big splash in one of the baths. Spluttering and laughing, he surfaced.

"Oh you little bitch!" He playfully splashed water in her direction but Ciri let out a scream and the water froze mid arc before dropping into a sad little puddle on the ground.

The others stared at her in awe and horror. She grinned at them with a shrug. "You didn't really think they'd send some random, helpless girl as a bodyguard, did you?"

A hand landed on Ciri's shoulder as Yennefer smiled down at her. "You and I have a lot to discuss. How would you feel about learning how to control your powers even better?"

For the first time since the news that there might be a solution to the virus, hope trickled back into the lives of the residents of Kaer Morhen. It wasn't going to be an overnight solution, they knew it wasn't going to be easy. But they were one small step closer to a safer, happier life and that was more than enough for them after years of despair.

[enhyupn]

the perfect date! four

masterlist | previous | next

a series in which enhypen’s 02s competitive side shines through when trying to get your attention. the only solution to end this tiring rivalry? three dates with each of them in the course of three weeks.

paring: 02s x gn!reader

word count: 2.8k

genre: fluff, angst, high school!au, someone’s gonna end up heartbroken

warnings: swearing, violence is mentioned, jealousy, arguments + there might be grammatical and spelling errors in this 😞

ask to be on taglist, updates are irregular

a/n i should really make a masterlist BUT!!! okay i’ll edit this properly soon my eyes aren’t working rn since i’m on the road also it’s taking a while to get to the actual date 😩 Bit so wait for that everyone

taglist: @dchannie17 @simluvbot @jaeyuni @neocrush @penghoons @min-arya @sunooflowerss @badroseee @cha-raena @ghjasksdk @strawr @jaypen @nanachuu @nikisboxysmile @softkons @kisshoons-main @enha-woodzies

you had felt as if your feet were about to fall off by the time you had reached the gate of your well loved home. with heavy breaths you could see the outline of a figure standing almost a meter away from you. a scowl on your face when you saw the almost semi-permanent smirk placed on jay’s face as he stood proudly in front of your home. you let an exasperated sigh out as you lean against the cold metal gate, not able to find the energy to open it up. the lack of daylight surrounding you only really added to your draining energy. you roll your eyes before fixing your school blazer into it’s proper appearance and adjusting your school bag to fit comfortably on your shoulder. you look up once again, your eyes meeting the blonde dyed boy’s eyes. a smile placed in his eyes, something that showed you that had been waiting for you.

your mind couldn’t help but remind you that this was one of the few moments where you had really taken the time to look at jay’s face. your time in middle school didn’t really give you any opportunities due to the fact you were so shy and bashful in front of the boy that you couldn’t even properly look at him. you just so barely properly spoke to him and exchanged messages to even form some sort of connection. you never really questioned until then why he had a crush on you in middle school, a time in your life where you had thought you were going to be alone forever. as much as you wanted to question him you knew you’d accidentally expose your own past crush, something you desperately didn’t want to explain.

“are you gonna greet me or are you just gonna keep staring at my face?” he teased, letting out a hearty laugh. you shook your head, not approving of his statement. you unlock your gate as you send him another glare. the wind added to the already dramatic yet heart warming scene, loose cherry blossom petals from a nearby tree flying around you almost romantically.

“i was not” you murmured as you had gotten closer to him, the sound of the grass lightly flattening as you walked over it with care. you might of even stepped on a bug in the process, none of the surrounding light exposing itself onto the lawn meaning your vision was very little. “as if i’d willingly do that”. the boy only laughed in response as you leaned against the wall, very eerily close to him. you eyes dart to the small space in between the two of you, unexplainable heat rushing to your cheeks. the boy sends you a look with his eyebrow raised, unsure what the problem was. “anyways, what was that call even for?” you manage to shift the attention back into your words.

“hmmmm” he pretended to think, the joke only causing you to snort quietly to yourself. his head suddenly twists towards you, the previous view of your sad looking garden not doing him any justice in your conversation. from your point of view, your eyes only widened in surprise when you had realised just how close your faces were together. his nose was almost touching yours and, if you wanted to, you could of even touched foreheads together. “i don’t know”.

“what do you mean i don’t know?” you move your face back, jay not noticing the small movement from your sudden bashfulness. “who calls saying i’m at your house, come home quickly before i break in without a reason?” you continue, hands flying around you as you try and theatrically explain his excuse.

“maybe i do?” jay laughed in between his words. you roll your eyes at his playfulness, a small smile forming on your lips when you looked down at your feet. as much as you wanted an explanation, hearing jay finally for the first time in years joke around with you simply just felt better.

“veeerry funny jay” you spoke breathily, leaning further against the wall of your home. you knew your parents were waiting for your arrival, probably sitting in their room asking themselves when you’ll eat your dinner. however, you weren’t entirely really sure if they knew about jay’s sudden visit outside your door. with a quick sigh out you turn to him once again, the boy only mirroring your action with a grin spread across his face. “how did you know where i live? or remembered my number?”.

“jake, for both of your answers” you seem raise an eyebrow at the mention of your best friend’s name, suspicious on what had happened between the two of them.

“you two are buddy-buddy now?” you tease, your fingers wiggling in front of his face playfully as you let a squeaky laugh out. jay lightly swatted your hands away, a low chuckle escaping him mouth as he turned away from you to look at the bland scenery in front of him.

“not exactly, we just both relate to things i guess” he replied quietly, the sound of crickets chirping and wind slightly breezing through following the sound of his voice. your lips morph into a small smile when you had listened to his words.

“that’s nice to hear” you sigh out blissfully, your head nodded in agreement while turning to the front of you too to look at the same scenery his eyes were trained on. “no more fighting then, i suppose?”.

“can’t promise that one” jay awkwardly let out, his head replaying the memory of earlier that evening. he bit his lip in guilt, feeling yet again apologetic about the whole situation. “hey i’m sorry—”

“—it’s fine” you interrupt him abruptly. you had already predicted what he was about to say, knowing jay’s personality you knew he would feel incredibly guilty about it. you knew it wasn’t either of their faults, from every way you’ve looked at the situation you understood that the two of weren’t the best with handling any sort of feelings they felt. “you two were just emotional, plus i wasn’t giving you enough attention today too”.

“give me attention?” he laughed, a growing blush scattering across his face. his brain almost blew up at your slightly affectionate comment. “why would you say it like that?”.

“oh shut up” you nudge him lightly, biting your lip in slight embarrassment when you had realised what you had said. “you know what i mean! i haven’t seen you in forever and of course you would wanna catch up with me”. you glance at him while your feet tapped slightly, “right?”.

“how cocky of you to think i missed you” jay jokingly rolled his eyes. you could tell from his playful tone that he was just teasing you, although it didn’t stop you from lightly elbowing him in the side.

it felt nice, talking so freely with the boy you’ve probably spent a good chunk of your life thinking about and as well as even missing. the brain of middle school you would of never even thought this would of happened, with you thinking then that the two of you were on two completely different levels (with jay being on the significantly higher level, even during those middle school years). you wish you could of told your younger self that those times spent silently admiring your school crush wasn’t a one sided thing as much as you had thought.

“don’t go thinking i missed you either too then!” you pout. the action setting jay’s brain into haywire, you had such an affect on him but you were the only one who couldn’t realise it.

he abruptly swivels his head forward, not wanting you to catch his embarrassing slip up. your own action caused him to clear his head completely blank, not having any snarky comebacks for your reply.

“remember the jeju day trip in middle school?” jay changed the subject, it caused you to raise an eyebrow before taking a glimpse at him.

you didn’t really understand why he had brought it up, it wasn’t anything significant. you can vaguely even remember the day, the only real memory you had of that day was your aunt dressing you up for it. she had wanted you to look your best, you can’t really thank her for anything since that whole night was truly just unmemorable.

“no” you paused to rack your brain in hopes to find anything to add to his question. “why? was there something worth remembering?”, yet another pout formed on your face from his puzzling question.

“the plane ride there?” he mentioned, trying to jog your memory in hopes to find what he was trying to say. “do you seriously not remember?” he laughs unexpectedly, his voice only sending your heart beating rapidly.

“n-no” a stutter had caught up to your words. you had no idea why he was still giving you this affect. i mean you’ve gotten over him over the course of his absence, right?

“well, remember earlier today, what i told you in front of sunghoon and jake” he rambles on, completely ignoring your embarrassed state. you glance back at him, noticing he was awkwardly playing with his fingers with tinted red ears. you smile to yourself, the boy setting your cheeks on fire with small actions that you didn’t think would even affect you.

“yeah, what about it?”

“i said i had a crush on you” he continued, his words only sending butterflies to your stomach as you tried to put on a calm smile. you only nodded silently, unable to find the correct answer to reply to him with. “on the plan ride to jeju, we sat beside each other” you watched from his side his hands ran through his hair, “you were so talkative and just so bright— happy? something like that. i remember only wanting to talk to you that whole day after we got off the plane, my friends kept teasing me about it and wouldn’t stop asking why i kept glancing at you throughout our whole trip”.

“you’ve liked me since then?” you let out; quietly questioning his comment, your hands cupping your mouth in realisation at your slight mixup of words. “i mean— you started liking me then? up until whenever you’ve stopped liking me? you get what i’m trying to say—”.

“who said i stopped liking you?”

if words could kill, his would of definitely made you drop stone cold onto the ground. you open your mouth, and without surprise nothing came out due to your speechless state of mind. did he really just— was he being serious? that’s all you could think as you blankly stared at his face, eyes slightly widening as a small smirk laced through his lips. you would of comically checked your pulse in front of him as a way to ease this tension but you were too star struck to even move an inch. what was going on?

“h-huh?” only a noise came out of your mouth, desperately yelling at yourself to just even let out a single word. jay only seemed to find humour in this situation, chuckling at your frozen state as he straightened his back. with a step forward he looked back at you, his face being illuminated by the cheap porch light in front of your door. you could only gulp at his figure, somehow looking more like a pictorial pose than a casual pose regular people would normally do.

“you heard me” with his head whipping back to the front of him. he placed both of this hands behind his head, an audible yawn coming out of his mouth to express his drowsiness. “it’s getting late isn’t it?” he had professed quite randomly, a completely different choice of topic than your original one.

“well, yeah...” you replied, your words sounding confused. if someone had asked you what the two of you had been talking about that whole evening, you wouldn’t of been able to tell them anything.

“i should get going then” he stretched his arms gently, an action now raising your eyebrow in suspicion. with your arms crossed you watched as he took a step further away from you, his figure almost disappearing in the darkness of your garden.

“you’re just not gonna explain your last sentence?” you nervously informed the boy of his previous words. the boy only continued his walk down the small pathway in front of the two of you, a laugh being heard even with the distance.

“what do you mean explain?” he taunted, finally reaching the cold metal gate you had earlier made in contact with. the creak of the gate caused you to flinch in shock, you watched as he swiftly made his way past your gate, his feet stopping as he closed it again. staring back at you with a mischievous glint in his eyes. “the explanation’s right there”.

“but—”

“see you tomorrow y/n” he put a stop to your attempt, a small smile dancing happily upon his face as he took off on his journey home. “sweet dreams!” you could faintly hear him as he made his way deeper down your street.

“what— what was that about...” you spoke hesitantly. your words coming out quietly unable to really understand what had happened, something that was happening far too often that day. you understood what he said definitely, but at the same time what did he say? he said the explanation was there but as much as you wanted your brain to believe his words, you couldn’t allow yourself.

you stood there for a good few minutes, your brain trying to come up with reasonable answers; ones that weren’t pointing towards the conclusion that jay park could possibly like you. as in like—like romantically! there was no way you were going to let yourself believe in something as unbelievable as that. letting out a loud sigh you finally make up your mind to go inside your house, not having the energy to even try and make up an excuse to your parents on why you were arriving home so late.

with your hand on the door handle you felt a surprising quick vibration coming from your right pocket. you sweat instantly on the spot, your brain instantly scattering the word jay in the blank spaces in your mind. cautiously, you dipped your hand into your pocket, bracing yourself for a very awkward message from the blond boy.

park sunghoon (3-A) added you to “booth @ festival”

you sighed happily at the notification, until you had realised the previously mentioned boy was also in this group chat. your eyes drifted at sunghoon’s contact name, the formality of it almost begging you to change it into something more casual.

sunghoon: Meeting tomorrow at 7:30AM sharp, please be there on time.

jakey: sure! no promises though

jakey: the bus run’s on it’s own time sometimes

sunghoon: I can excuse that.

jay: why do you type so stiff

you couldn’t help but agree at jay’s off topic tease, sunghoon’s way of typing seemed very formal for a group chat with your classmates. a quiet giggle escaped your mouth as you walked into your house, “i’m home!” you informed your family as you raised your voice one step into your home.

sunghoon: What do you mean?

jay: ok nvm

y/n: i’ll be there!! see you three tmr 🤍

with your hand forcefully taking your shoes off, you lazily typed your reply with one hand with little to no attention on your screen. you felt your heart race rapidly when you realised, out of habit, you send a white heart to the group of boys. cursing to yourself you threw your shoes onto your shoe rack, the position of them awkwardly almost falling off the shelf they were on. you swiftly typed out a reply, trying to explain your small accident without further embarrassing yourself.

y/n: i didn’t mean the heart .

jay: sureee you didn’t

y/n: shut up

jakey: this is like the third time you’ve done that

y/n: STOP IT PLEASE FOR MY OWN SAKE

sunghoon: I think we should stop embarrassing Y/N.

y/n: thank you sunghoon

y/n: ummmm anyways goodnight!

you groaned loudly, knowing it was more than likely that jake and jay would tease you about it the following morning. you felt yourself dramatically falling on your bed, your face being engulfed by your bed sheets as you ran your hands through your head in frustration. the only thing stopping you from screaming your embarrassment out was the fact someone in the room beside you scolded you for making noise so late in the night.

“sorry!” you replied back, your face warm from your burst of energy. “can’t wait for tomorrow” you sarcastically whispered to yourself, bringing yourself to sit properly at the edge of your bed.

in the whole course of a day, nothing had gone to plan. first jay showing up? jake confessing to you? sunghoon (kind of) walking you home? all of this just on day one, you couldn’t even imagine what day two was going to be like.

“cannot wait!”

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

i saw your post about Charles and what his personality past and part in the story line so i was wondering if u could do the same for vlad? :)

Ah, well, I can at least let you know what I’ve seen so far? I haven’t delved too far into Vlad, and some of his general impressions can be confusing, so I’ll do my best to make it sensible and unbiased! Here you go lovely <33333

Fair warning, there will be mentions of a lot of JPN app content since Vlad and his boys aren’t around much in the ENG app yet.

My general sense of Vlad is basically discount vampire Sasuke Uchiha.

What I mean by this is to say–according to what I’ve read so far–his clan/family were murdered by vampire hunters in cold blood when he was just a young boy. Presumably as a result of that traumatic event, he harbors a sizable enmity towards humanity and kind of lashes out on them in weirdly specific moments of violence. Another aspect of his motivation is something that’s mentioned within Comte’s route; which is that Vlad went through the timespace door on his own one day and allegedly saw a devastated future, where nothing remains of life on earth more or less.

I guess the reason I find him to be so perplexing is that he speaks about his actions in terms of efficiency, while most of the things he does just feel like unhappy outbursts (v often a product of unresolved trauma symptoms, I’d wager.) I also say this because he appears to have no larger pattern to his fury beyond the original event of his loss. Most of the human beings he attacks aren’t much of a threat to him and hurting them really doesn’t bring him any dividends beyond revenge.

For instance, he insists his disdain for humanity and insistence on controlling them is for the sake of ensuring they do not destroy the future–the horrifying wasteland he witnessed when he traveled through the timespace door. However, I’m not really sure how his current movements really speak to that goal? I mean sure, maybe he’s relying on Faust to create an immortal human so that humans will be forced to care because it will be their future too, but he doesn’t allow Faust to draw his pureblood blood for experimenting. (One can most certainly argue this was more about a lack of trust, and perhaps for plenty reason: Faust is vindictive enough to try to turn the tables and exert control over Vlad, or act on his own whims with his findings.) But if that’s the solution he’s waiting on, turning the rivals of the men in the mansion doesn’t really bring him any closer to that vision either? I mean, what good does it do to bring back Gilles de Rais–a prominent French serial killer? How would unleashing him on the populace help humanity “realize the error of it’s short-sighted and wasteful ways” and move to a brighter future?

Can’t help it, I ask these questions as I read.

In Comte’s main story, Comte hammers home that Vlad is not somebody to be taken lightly. One day when MC goes out to buy flowers, Vlad poses as a human florist to sell them to her–which is how Comte finds out he’s in France, and that he’s made contact with MC. When prompted, Comte describes him in a very particular way; and I think people really overlook this when they talk about their relationship. He says that Vlad is frighteningly pure in terms of the way he thinks and acts. The way I understood his description (given what I’ve seen of Vlad) is that Comte really does mean it point blank: Vlad is very simple in terms of why and how he does things. The issue with this is that nuance and context are lost on Vlad as well–and that’s where the problems start to flood in. Vlad is angry at humanity for what they’ve done to him. Baseline? That’s fair, they killed his damn family. However, Vlad thinks that by extension he has the right to decimate the general public and attack people completely uninvolved in his hurt.

And that isn’t right either–it’s ignoring so many factors here. He’s ignoring how much vampires use and toy with humans as pawns, it’s ignoring the massive power imbalance between him and his victims (this really isn’t a case of self-defense most of the time, nobody but Comte/Leo is a sizable threat to him), and he’s ignoring whether or not a person even did anything to deserve his retributive violence. While murder is never okay, it is perhaps more understandable when we see Jeanne’s frenzied and violent belligerence in response to a man who murders a boy’s mother for the sake of his own amusement/convenience. Vlad literally sees almost every single one of the rivals he created begin to heal/improve and murders them in cold blood because they are no longer of any use to him. That’s uh……..that’s a little messed, not gonna lie to you chief.

While part of me understands the efficiency here–he doesn’t want to leave any traces of his involvement, he doesn’t want any loose ends–it’s also just kind of foolish and cruel ultimately. From my understanding of the narrative, all the people he turned had some visible sign that indicated their origin to Comte. So even if he claims it was for the sake of concealment, it was more likely about his personal convenience. Which…..also yikes.

[Comte clearly does not trust Vlad to be reasonable, and I think there’s plenty of good reason enumerated above, but I actually don’t sense quite so much hatred? I think he’s just given up on the idea of Vlad growing up, even if he doesn’t like giving up on people. And considering Vlad’s behavior, I think it’s overkill to say that Comte just abandons him because he doesn’t care lmao. Even when Comte expresses real anger at the end of his own route, it was more because Vlad was fine with endangering MC’s life just to get back at him. I think Comte’s unhappiness with Vlad has more to do with Vlad’s treatment of human life as meaningless and worthless. It’s fascinating but also kind of sad? Vlad’s traumatic experience results in behavior that is a direct exacerbation of Comte’s trauma, and as such--no matter their potentially fond history--they can’t stomach each other.]

In Comte’s route, Vlad also has Shakespeare abduct MC and take her to the cathedral. Later on in the castle, we see an immediate display of Vlad’s shocking powers: he has the ability to manipulate people’s desires/thoughts. I’m not exactly sure how this works, but he is able to give MC visions of the mansion and Comte coming on to her–which shocks her into realizing it’s all just a dream. It’s not reality; it’s all manufactured by Vlad.

After that...weird introductory note...Vlad gives MC the rundown on his life together with Comte, which as always is subject to a question of bias. My assumption is that he did not lie, only because he was trying to convince MC that he was “right.” Furthermore, he does not omit the most damning evidence of his erroneous judgement, which suggests a continued inability for him to see where he went wrong.

We get a series of three flashbacks. The first is them as young kids. I don’t know if Vlad had already experienced the horrors of his family being destroyed, but this particular flashback focuses on Comte. His parents, in an effort to teach him that vampires and humans have no ability to co-exist, send away all of his teachers/mentors/nannies/the servants--pretty much everyone and anyone he was closely bonded to. Think about it this way: we can see that Comte is very sociable and affectionate by nature. He was living in a house full of people, all of whom cared about him and looked after him in their own way. Now the house is entirely empty. Naturally Comte is very very upset, and Vlad appears to try to cheer him up with little success. 

[When I look back on this scene I don’t think I initially registered the sheer dissonance of Vlad’s reaction, versus Comte’s catatonic misery. There was a very solemn feeling to that memory, and the correct choice in terms of extending comfort is to hold his hand believe it or not. There is a sense that he feels very alone. When young boy Vlad enters one can argue that it was the proper thing to do; he was trying to cheer up his playmate and friend. But at the same time, I think I need to double check. Because I’m beginning to wonder if I was wrong. What if Vlad was happy to see someone as alone as him, and that joy is accordingly dissonant for that reason? He can’t see what Comte needs or how he’s hurting because he’s so glad he isn’t alone anymore in a way.]

The second flashback is the war nurse scene that I have spoken at length about. The important thing to focus on here is Vlad’s surprise that Comte would opt out of turning her out of respect for her wishes. The way Vlad frames the situation is starkly different from Comte’s. Comte sees himself as an outsider, somebody who invaded her life as a result of the timespace door and therefore has no right to suddenly change the course of her fate. He had no idea if she even wanted to live (considering the horrors she’d have to cope with and remember) or leave that time period at all, for that matter (considering the only thing keeping her going was helping the wounded/victims). Comte really was listening to everything she had to say, and he was taking her concerns and motivations seriously. 

Vlad simply says: if you want her, take her. It’s as simple as that for him. And in one way that’s not entirely wrong--assuming Comte would have every intention of looking after her and actually cares a lot about her. But what’s being ignored here is her agency and the fact that they really don’t know each other that well? Something like that could begin and be rocky, if it doesn’t end in complete disaster. Worse, I get the feeling Vlad is perfectly fine with the notion of turning her and if things don’t work out, just kill her or get rid of her. Again, the simplistic thinking comes into play here: it ultimately comes down to Vlad being self-centered. He’s thinking only in terms of satisfying his needs, he doesn’t seem to have any concept of a larger pair or group feeling. There’s an inability to bend/be flexible for the sake of maintaining a greater harmonious feeling. 

[For the record, I don’t think this makes him irredeemable? Only that it makes it very hard to live with him or love him, probably. There’s an inability to live at a joint pace? It’s always answering to what he wants without room for anything else most of the time, which to me is not living and it’s not love ;;;;]

Following their escape back to their own time, Vlad explains how he wants to use the door to turn geniuses and control humanity. He eventually wants to create a surveillance state, which would mean everyone is forced to move with his explicit approval, more or less. (He almost reminds me of Louis XIV, can’t tell if that’s what they were going for.) I have my doubts that his abilities could extend that far, but human history shows us that we are plenty susceptible to fascist and totalitarian rhetoric. In a shocking display of anger, Comte draws the line at controlling humanity and forcing them into a regime in which, and this is Vlad’s description not mine, “we (purebloods) would be like kings.” There’s definitely a concept of evolutionary superiority at play here, which echoes what I mentioned earlier; vampires seem to have this awareness that they’re apex predators in a sense, and enjoy the power that comes with that. Unfortunately, that probably makes for a fairly toxic/uncomfortable larger species culture, which is exactly what Comte and Leo hate lmao.

Vlad does not seem to find any issue with this sort of outlook, and asks MC to decide which of them--Vlad or Comte--is right. Who is more realistic, who best understands the future? As expected the MC replies that it's Comte, and Vlad goes from beseeching to big mad at record speed. He's p much that gif of the teddy bear that smacks its head down on the tables and then has the angry eyebrows.

This is where Comte intervenes, firing a warning shot that grazes Vlad's cheek and demanding he let MC go. In response, Vlad shoves MC into the turbulent timespace door--p much guaranteeing MC's death. (Essentially timespace is a void of sorts, a human being could never survive in that environment for long. Vlad fully knew this, and yeeted her anyway.)

So uh, yeah. Disagreement? Death. Moving on? Death. Nuanced approach to reality? Death. Beginning to think he doesn't really have a lot of patience or open-mindedness or any other kind of problem-solving approach. 

He raises flowers and gardens like a fiend, and he openly plucks any single flower with a blemished leaf. Even if a single petal is slightly damaged, it will be removed and destroyed. So one could argue his extremism reflects a kind of perfectionism as well. No room for errors or troublesome dissent. No ugliness of any kind. I mean in all of his interactions with Faust and Charles this is the overt undertone. Don't ask more of me than I'm willing to give. Behave like good children, mommy's busy. Is that insubordination? boss music begins

One thing I actually don't understand very well is his decision making in Dazai's route. Dazai finds out about what Vlad's doing in a nanosecond when he senses MC is in danger, and yet Vlad makes absolutely no move to eliminate Dazai? He just watches from the shadows. Even when Dazai grills Charles about his loyalty to Vlad, no retribution.

My best guess for this specific situation is that Vlad does derive some level of satisfaction thwarting the future of human beings/former humans. Dazai--being somebody with no great desire to live, no rivals to speak of as far as we can tell, and no larger aspirations--is a life that is easily extinguished. There's no satisfaction in it. When Vlad's clan was murdered and he saw the future decimated, it could be that he felt humans had invaded and eradicated every potentiality that was important to him. Where he might have lived happily with his family, that future was ripped from his grasp. Where he might enjoy his flowers and the creation of an immortal for the rest of conceivable time, that too was ripped from his grasp with a desolate future. 

So much about who Vlad is is about control, so it's very possible his lashing out is an extension of that. Dazai does not awaken any of the disdain he feels, and he does not succeed in overthrowing Vlad's control over Charles, so Vlad simply lurks in silence.

And last but not least, I've seen the preview to Vlad's newest birthday event story. The contents are incredibly revealing, in that MC wishing him a happy birthday and offering him a gift has him saying that it was "the best birthday ever." Granted idk if that’s sweet or just...beyond sad, but here we are. It’s only compounding my curiosity about the wound on his chest--I really do wonder if he was attacked and locked away by vampire hunters or hostile human beings or something. I say that only because that line speaks to a lot of isolation, and given how little he seems to care about turning people/subjecting them to his whims it feels odd. Why the isolation or lack of people who care about him? Is it a perceived lack where his actions alienated all the people who wanted to be close to him, or is it a more involuntary lack?

When she says let’s celebrate again next year, he seems a pleasantly shocked by the notion, and remarks “Ah yes, it’s a promise c:”. The preview was also mega horny: “You make me feel so loved, I don’t think I can be gentle with you tonight. If you enjoy it so much, then I won’t stop. I want to see you completely lost for me. I’ll teach your body what it means to be loved by a pureblood.” Aaaaaand pretty sure the CG was alluding to him licking the good stuff from her basement, though not entirely sure given it was only the preview. 

The brief POV they give us is also very revealing:

“You always keep your promises, and I think I underestimate all the time how much you saved me. You are good, only you are good in this world.”

“Will we continue to make promises to each other in the future? Well in that case--you will always, always be mine, my vampire.”

Tbh he’s...v sweet? In his own way? Honestly he feels like a crabapple that is just so sick of the world and wants softe wife to take comfort in. While granted that’s not really my thing, I know a fanbase appeal exists for these types--so if that’s your thing, have at it!

So now that we have reached the end of my ridiculously long analysis (when am I ever brief, I’m so sorry. If you made it all the way here you deserve a cookie at the very least, if not the right to chase me with a bat) perhaps it’s more clear why I said discount vampire Sasuke Uchiha? “My clan is gone, every other second I’m going to be in retraumatization insanity, when I’m not I’ll be seeking power/hobbies, planning the demise of people who wanted the best for me, building a team to my advantage and unquestioned control, and eventually settling for a lifelong love who sees the best in me despite my more difficult moments and perceived hollowing loneliness. Not the most ideal comparison, but I will say if Vlad was not already named the historical figure, would have pointed and yelled Uchiha.

That’s all from me folks, hopefully this was a fun way to get introduced to him? And again, hope I didn’t alienate--I fully respect what people do and don’t enjoy o7

[robininthelabyrinth]

Field Medicine - on ao3 or tumblr pt 1, pt 2, pt 3

Wei Wuxian had been spending much of his free time as of late at the Cloud Recesses – he could regularly be seen walking through their many paths with Lan Wangji always at his side – and Lan Xichen couldn’t be more pleased, except for when he thought about his bride-to-be that would soon be joining them there.

It would be sad to lose Lan Wangji’s company, he reflected, although he supposed that with them both being men and there being no expectation of children unless they opted to adopt a war orphan, it would be reasonable to request that they split their time between the Lotus Pier and the Cloud Recesses once they’d properly settled down. Still, Jiang Cheng clearly needed their help more than he did, at least in the beginning, as Lan Xichen still had his uncle and his elders to support him as sect leader while Jiang Cheng was doing it on his own – it would be entirely reasonable for him to request that the two of them start their lives together at the Lotus Pier, and Wei Wuxian would probably insist on it anyway.

Lan Xichen thought, however, that he would be able to make a plausible argument that the two of them should come to ground in the Cloud Recesses for a while once he and Jiang Yanli had children.

All they needed, really, was for Wei Wuxian to stop his insistence on demonic cultivation.

Lan Xichen really didn’t understand what the issue was. It had made sense to deviate from orthodoxy during the war – when fighting someone of Wen Ruohan’s power and forces of the magnitude of the Wen sect, they had needed every weapon they could find, and Wei Wuxian’s formidable intelligence and creativity had given them the edge that had made all the difference. But at the same time demonic cultivation was well known to be dangerous to the user as well: it affected the temperament, with its practitioners known to become arrogant, cruel, and selfish, uncaring of life or death of others, and more than that, it affected the body and soul, damaging them, risking not only this life but the next.

Why would Wei Wuxian persist in such an unwise course of action now that there was no need for it?

Lan Xichen had often wondered such a thing, but he had spoken to his sworn brothers on the subject (Lan Wangji was useless for such discussions, unsurprisingly) and both of them had been much less surprised than he. Nie Mingjue had spoken, haltingly, of how difficult it could be to open one’s hand and put down the saber after years and years of holding it too tightly – of how the war might end but the adrenaline remained, how the fear and caution that had served so well for years might no longer be necessary and yet the body remembered, the subconscious mind remembered. Jin Guangyao had spoken in turn of the allure of power to one who had once lacked it: the security of knowing there was no need to bow before others, no need to compromise oneself and yield, yield, yield – the difficulty in giving up that safety and placing it in the hands of others, of those who might not live up to the trust, how slow the process was to learn to rely on others in truth rather than merely on the surface.

He could understand that, and so understood that Wei Wuxian’s actions were not unreasonable – and yet, they remained a problem.

Lan Xichen knew that the subject had been often on Lan Wangji’s mind in recent days, troubling him, and there seemed to be no particular solution forthcoming. It was no wonder, given his feelings for the man that seemed so clearly evident to Lan Xichen that he wondered everyone wasn’t speaking of them. 

Lan Xichen himself had initially been too occupied to give the matter much thought. He might have more people to rely upon than Jiang Cheng, but his home had been utterly destroyed as well, and there was much work to be done in rebuilding. Still, he’d been thinking on it more and more as of late. 

After all, Wei Wuxian was no longer exclusively or even primarily Jiang Cheng’s problem – it had been one thing when he was refusing Lan Wangji’s company at every turn, when a relationship between him and Lan Wangji was nothing more than a dream or a possibility that simply wasn’t to be, when he was someone that Lan Wangji could acknowledge as having loved and lost in his youth without too much regret. But now that he was here. He had agreed to come to Gusu to negotiate his shijie’s marriage, and they were spending so much time together…

Wei Wuxian would be Lan Xichen’s brother-in-law, his soon-to-be bride’s little brother, and that meant that Lan Xichen had to think about him from that perspective as well. He had grown to love Jiang Yanli’s smile, and she smiled most of all when speaking of the two brothers that she loved so much, just as he smiled best when he spoke of Lan Wangji, or even of his two (sometimes difficult) sworn brothers.

Yes, Wei Wuxian was definitely Lan Xichen’s problem now.

He only wished that there were more that he could do.

“Zewu-jun! Zewu-jun!” several of his Lan sect disciples called, hurrying over, and their raised voices made him frown at once – causing excess noise is prohibited – whatever the cause, it must be urgent.

It was.

Wei Wuxian had burst into Jinlin Tower in a rage during a public meeting – had gotten into an argument with Jin Zixun and threatened him – he had killed several Jin sect retainers at the Qiongi Path and kidnapped the prisoners of war they had been guarding – he had retreated to the Yiling Burial Mounds and was threatening all who came near with the Tiger Seal –

Lan Xichen hurried to Jinlin Tower at once.

Jin Guangshan was holding court with his family at his side, railing at Wei Wuxian – how dangerous he was, how uncontrolled – and pointing out how he had for some time already been saying how inappropriate it was for such a powerful magic tool to end up in the hands of such an arrogant and impulsive young man. The others were there as well, Lan Xichen the last to arrive: Nie Mingjue scowling down at them all from his excessive height, Lan Wangji still as stone to conceal how upset he was, Jiang Cheng standing there with his face black and clenched fists trembling with anger, Jiang Yanli at his side with her lips pressed tightly together, equally distressed.

She looked at him, seeking comfort – seeking commiseration, since there was no comfort to be had.

After all, what could they do? Jin Guangshan was right. They had all been concerned about Wei Wuxian, his erratic behavior and dangerous demonic cultivation. They had been worried about what he might do now that there was no war in which to put his efforts, and now he had proven all of their fears wholly justified.

He had committed crimes, killed men. Even if they wanted to say something in his defense, what grounds did they have to speak?

Lan Xichen’s steps slowed, suddenly, the thought giving him sudden pause.

What grounds did they have to speak?

What grounds had his father to speak, when it had been his mother who had had blood on her hands? He had not condemned her, as he ought have; instead he married her and challenged all who knew of the matter to dare defy him – he had rested upon the power of his clan, the power of being a Great Sect, and he had protected her against the world, although it had in the end cost him everything.

Lan Wangji could not do the same, although Lan Xichen could see on his face that he wished he could – it was one thing for a man to claim a woman, to promise that he would act as her bond and keep her from further wrongdoing, but it would not be understood that way for a man. No man could restrict another to the courtyard, not unless they were being held as a prisoner, sentenced to their fate, and that was not the answer here: no one would believe that Lan Wangji’s intention was to save Wei Wuxian rather than exploit him, not when the man was as powerful as Wei Wuxian was. Even if the feelings were the same, the world’s understanding of the situation was simply too different.

No, Lan Wangji could not act. To join Wei Wuxian now would be to turn him from a single wrongdoer into the leader of a rebellion, hastening the cultivation world’s desire to crush him, and yet – to abandon him was surely unthinkable.

Feelings or no feelings, Lan Wangji was only a single man, unable to stand against the world. He had no ability to speak.

But Lan Xichen did.

“We will certainly take that under consideration, Sect Leader Jin,” he said, his words sliding in during the small break between words when Jin Guangshan paused to breathe. “Your wisdom and advice are greatly appreciated, as they always are. We will think carefully on your suggestion.”

Jin Guangshan turned to him in surprise, and he wasn’t alone – everyone was staring, not least of which was Jiang Cheng himself, clearly stunned by his interjection. Lan Xichen hated it, hated being the center of attention, but he had been brought up to be sect leader; no matter his preference in avoiding the spotlight, avoiding fights, avoiding unpleasantness, it was all irrelevant in the face of his duty.

He kept a pleasant smile on his face. Ignorance, he thought, was the best approach to permit all sides to save face – he did not wish to start a fight with Jin Guangshan if he could avoid it.

He might not be able to avoid it, but Lan Xichen loved his family too much to really care.

“Zewu-jun,” Jin Guangshan said, and Lan Xichen could see him gearing up to tell him that his not-yet-crystalized demands were not a suggestion, that they were necessary, that the Jin sect – as the victims – had rights to call upon.

Lan Xichen couldn’t let him speak, so he didn’t. “I appreciate the same for all of you,” he said, raising his voice just a little, and surveying the room full of sect leaders. “Your concern for our family matter does you all credit, and we will not forget it.”

“Family matter?” Sect Leader Qin scoffed, his eyebrows arched. “How can this be a family matter?”

“Wei Wuxian is soon to be my brother-in-law,” Lan Xichen said with a smile. “My sister’s shixiong, raised by her side – how can it be anything else? Jiang Wanyin, I will of course provide you with any assistance you require in uncovering exactly what has happened and in determining a punishment to suit.”

“This is not a private matter,” Jin Guangshan said. “My Jin sect retainers were killed by a corpse raised by Wei Wuxian –”

“The sects have always managed justice for their own in the first instance, with others interfering only if the punishment is insufficient. Surely that has not changed,” Nie Mingjue said, and oh, Lan Xichen loved his sworn brother so very much. 

He might be stern and harsh at times, but he was loyal to those he loved beyond all reason; he was stepping up to defend the (possibly) indefensible on Lan Xichen’s word alone, standing shoulder-to-shoulder with him as they always had in battle, in battle and everywhere else. He had forgiven the false information that Lan Xichen had inadvertently passed along, and trusted him unreservedly once more. 

“If my Nie sect cultivators do wrong, it is my obligation to carry out justice and my shame if I do not,” he continued. “Demonic cultivator or not, Wei Wuxian is the head disciple of Yunmeng Jiang. Who has the grounds to speak first and foremost to his punishment if not Jiang Wanyin?”

Jiang Cheng himself was still working his jaw, trying to say something and failing.

“No one is questioning the ancestral right of the sect leader to manage the sect, da-ge,” Jin Guangyao said, stepping in at once. “It is only that this is a difficult situation, you understand, given the nature of Wei Wuxian’s demonic powers – and, of course, that the Jiang sect is still rebuilding…”

“Which is why I volunteered my sect to help,” Lan Xichen said, glad for the opening that Jin Guangyao had given him even if he suspected it was inadvertent. He didn’t like being on the opposite side from Jin Guangyao, much less publicly, but he understood the necessity of it. His sworn brother could not go against his father’s wishes, and Lan Xichen had long ago learned the hard lesson dividing private and public interests. “We have many techniques designed for suppression of evil and many experts. Even if the Cloud Recesses was burned by the Wen sect –” 

There, a not-so-subtle reminder that the prisoners of war that the Jin sect had been guarding had offended his sect more than the Jin, and that he was more entitled to demand punishment than they. 

“– we were still able to preserve many of our magic tools and ancient books, and I have faith in our capability. And, naturally, as Wei Wuxian’s future brother-in-law, helping is what I should do.”

He shot Nie Mingjue a look.

“You may have any assistance you want from me and mine as well,” Nie Mingjue said, putting his hands behind his back, standing like the general he so recently was. “Am I not your sworn brother, Xichen? But if you and Jiang Wanyin do not adequately investigate the matter or fail impose a proper punishment that suits the crime, I will be the first to speak against you.”

And that quelled more than half the voices that had been about to raise protest. If some argument could be made that Jiang Wanyin was too weak towards his shixiong to properly punish him, then there was Lan Xichen behind him, and if he, too, was inclined by his temperament to be seduced into mercy when it was inappropriate, there was Nie Mingjue as well. Who would dare suggest that the righteous Chifeng-zun would not demand that justice be done?

We are three of the four remaining Great Sects, Lan Xichen realized, suddenly giddy with it. Between us, we have the loyalty of the majority of sects in the cultivation world, and the reputation to back it – who does not know how much we did in the Sunshot Campaign, Nie, Lan, and Jiang, even as the Jin sect held back and dithered?

When we stand together, who can tell us we are wrong?

Perhaps Jin Guangshan realized it, or perhaps it was Jin Guangyao who understood how close his father was to making a mistake, because he glanced his father’s way and stepped forward with a smile, echoing Nie Mingjue’s words of support, smoothly reminding the world that he, too, was one of Lan Xichen’s sworn brothers, and almost immediately afterwards it was Jin Zixuan who was speaking, offering the support of the Jin sect in whatever capacity was required.

Offering, not demanding.

Lan Xichen glanced at Lan Wangji, who was looking at him with the sort of admiration that he thought they had left behind in their childhood – his eyes were positively glassy with relief and thankfulness. When he looked over to the Jiang sect he saw that they were just the same, and actually on that note it was time to quickly bring this scene to an end before someone (possibly Jiang Cheng himself) burst into tears.

He said a few words, indicating that they would leave to prepare to initiate the investigation at once, and soon enough the bustle of sect leader voices rising up in commentary began to drown out anything Jin Guangshan might have said. Lan Xichen could safely begin to make his way out.

Jin Zixuan managed to find him before he escaped the crowd. “Good luck,” he said, and glanced over to where the Jiang sect stood – Jiang Cheng responding to questions with non-answers and assurances that promised nothing while Jiang Yanli stood by his shoulder, his stalwart support. “She deserves someone like you.”

There was some wistfulness in his eyes, the perhaps belated realization of what prize he had let slip through his fingers, but although Lan Xichen was a kind man, he was not so kind as to give up something he valued so dearly.

“Thank you,” he said, thinking to himself that Jin Zixuan was a good man underneath all the gilt and flash, and that the world would be notably improved once he took over the Jin sect. He would need to ask Jin Guangyao if there wasn’t any way that they could think of to shift more of the decision-making power in the Jin sect from the older generation to the younger sooner rather than later. “Your words of support were both timely and welcome.”

“It’s the least I could do,” Jin Zixuan said, and disappeared once again into the crowd.

It took some time to get away from them all, but finally Lan Xichen was alone, taking a deep breath to steady his nerves, and then soon enough there were the Jiang sect coming in through the door, Jiang Cheng and his sister, his Jiang Yanli who had held her tongue and the feelings Lan Xichen knew she must have felt, standing with perfect poise despite the unbearable provocation. The perfect person to be by his side in the future, helping him restore the restrained tranquility of the Cloud Recesses.

And she was perfect in this way, too: after the eyes of the crowd were no longer on her, she abandoned restraint for joy and threw herself into his arms, delighted and laughing and thankful, and he forget himself enough to kiss her. Which he did, very happily, until a quiet cough brought him back to awareness.

“We’ll find a way to fix this,” he said, looking up at where Jiang Cheng and Lan Wangji were standing side-by-side, both of them looking indulgently at the two of them. “We’ll find out what happened, why Wei Wuxian did what he did, and then we’ll start our new life off the right way. With life, not death, with our loved ones at our side.”

“Yes,” Lan Wangji said. “We will.”

“Yes,” Jiang Yanli said, and stood on her toes to press her lips to his again. “We will. Thank you, husband.”

Lan Xichen smiled.

[anon-sect]

Double The Pleasure

Jake had owed Dillion, the college foot ball team quarterback, a large sum of money, and the dead line to pay in full was today. Unfortnantly, he only had about a third of the money. He had heard from others that he could be unmerciful when it comes to getting his money back. He even heard that some that have owed him in the past have simply disappeared. He hope it would be the same case for him. To ensure of that, he asked his best friend Tom to wait for him outside the locker room while he went to retrieve something from one of the lockers. He told Tom that if he come out after a few minutes, to come in and get him.

Jake entered the locker room and found Dillion ( a six foot five inch tall muscular jock) waiting for him. "Got all my money?" Dillion asked. Jake was hoping for some bit of mercy. "I only have about a third of it. Just give me about two more weeks, and I will have all of it." Jake explained, but the look on Dillion's face knew he was screwed. Dillion shook his head. "I guess you are the payment in full." Dillion answered with a smirk on his face as he pulled out a device that look simlar to a small cell phone. He pressed a few button on the screen and a ray a light target Jake. Jake looked slightly confused, but realize what was happening.

Everything around him grew in size, even Dillion. Within mere seconds, he was looking up as a giant Dillion. Jake tried to run, but a giant shoe blocked his path toward the door. "Since you can't pay me back in full now, you will be an excellent toy for me to play with." He heard Dillion say as he saw a giant hand reach down and pluck his five inch body off the ground. "What are you going to do to me?" Jake asked. The smirk on Dillion's face scared him. "I am going to store you in a good place till I get home after my last class." Dillion answered as he unbutton his pants and unzipped the zipper. Jake then knew exactly where was going to put him. He pleaded with Dillion not to be in there, but that only made Dillion laugh. Once unzipped, Dillion stretched his waist band around his grey boxer briefs. "In you go, little man." With those last words, he dropped Jake in his underwear. With a smile he release the waist band and zipped his pants back up. Poor Jake was now trapped in his underwear until he gets home from his last class. From the struggle around his dick, he could tell it was hell in there. But Dillion didn't care, Jake belong to him now. Anyone that couldn't pay by the due date were his property to do with as he pleased.

Dillion was about to walk out of the locker room till Tom walked in surprised. Tom didn't see Jake at all. "Have you seen Jake? He told me to come get him if he didn't come out after a few minutes." Tom asked. Dillion didn't like that. Jake had been prepared just incase something happened to him. He decided that Tom would have to disappear as well to keep his secret, but before that, he wanted him to see what really happened to poor Jake. "Unfortnantly, Jake is here, but not in a place he wants to be." Dillion responded back with a twisted smile. "Where?" Tom asked. "It's better if I show you." Dillion spoke, while unzipping his pants again. Tom was about to protest until he heard Jake's voice screaming for help from Dillion's underwear. He looked in and saw a tiny five inch Jake calling out to him to rescue him. Dillion quicky relese the waist band and zipped his pants back up, trapping poor Jake in sweat and humidity again.

Tom's eyes went wide. He didn't know what to do to help his best friend. "Now unfortnantly, you know too much, so I have two problems, I must fixed." Dillion paused. "first you need to be repurposed to suite my needs to keep you quiet, and second, I need some new socks. The socks I had on early got ruined. And I think you would be the solution to both problems." Dillion spoke as he pulled out his TF Shrink ray again. Tom went to run away, but would not get away in time. He soon felt weird as though the room was spinning. He quickly lost consciousness there after.

Dillion watched as his second victim shrunk and split in two within a matter of seconds. Once split in two, transformed in to a nice pair of cotton Nike socks with extra cushioning for the feet. Dillion took his shoes off and placed his new socks on his feet. They felt wonderful as he walked around in them. He looked at his watch. He had ten minutes to be to his last class, so he quickly put his shoe back on and left the locker room to get arcross campus in time for his class.

Jake was in putried hell. The sweat and humidity inside Dillion's underwear was getting bad. Jake thought it couldn't get any worse, but he was wrong. Dilllion's dick began to get hard the more he moved around trying to escape. He ended up rubbing against it. If only Tom had come in sooner, this might not have been his fate. All he could do was hope that one day Dillion would release him from this torment.

Tom on the other hand was screaming out for mercy in his mind, but Dillion couldn't hear him. The odor inside Dillion's shoes smelled like something died in them. If that wasn't the worst, he felt pressure and pain with each step Dillion took. It was like he was being crushed without death, a never ending crushing. The sad thing was there would be no rescue for either him nor Jake. With no evidence of foul play, Dillion could keep his new captives for life and no one would know where they are. This was their fate, to be Dillion's play things for the rest of their lives.

I hope you enjoyed this short story.

[longitudinalwaveme]

Arkham Files: The Flash (Wally West)

Hugo Strange: From the patient files of Dr. Hugo Strange, director of Arkham Asylum. Patient: Wallace “Wally” West, also known as the Flash. Session One. So, Mr. West, how are you? 

Wally: Let’s go over the situation I’m in, shall we? My wife and I visit your creepy, Gothic asylum-perfectly legally, by the way- to make sure that Bruce Wayne is okay, and you get us arrested on bogus charges of trespassing. Then you pull strings to get me stuck in Arkham Asylum while I’m awaiting trial, and now you’re trying to have me declared legally insane so that you can lock me up in here for good. How the heck do you THINK I’m feeling? 

Hugo Strange: Your hostility is unnecessary, Mr. West. I am trying to help you. 

Wally: If this is your definition of ‘helping’ me, I’d hate to see what you do to people you want to hurt. Seriously, did you go to the Zoom Academy of Making Things “Beeetttteerrrr”? 

Hugo Strange: I am nothing like Mr. Zolomon, Mr. West. 

Wally: I’ll say you’re not. Hunter...he’s sick. He doesn’t know what he’s doing. But you? What’s your excuse? 

Hugo Strange: I do not need an excuse, Mr. West. You may not realize it yet, but you-and all the other costumed vigilantes-are doing more harm than good. 

Wally: What do you mean, more harm than good? I’ve had my powers since I was ten years old, and since then I’ve done my best to hold to the promise that I made to Uncle Barry: to use my speed only to help those in need, to combat evil-and never for my own personal gain. I haven’t been perfect at it-I’m not as selfless as Uncle Barry, and I’ve got quite a temper-but I’ve tried. I’ve really, really tried. 

Hugo Strange: Let’s talk about your Uncle Barry, shall we, Mr. West? 

Wally: Why? So you can twist my words and use them to make him out to be some sort of misguided lunatic? Not gonna happen. 

Hugo Strange: Mr. West, I assure you I bear no ill will towards Mr. Allen. Obviously, you bear a great deal of affection for him. I simply wish to know why that is. 

Wally: Because he’s a hero! He’s brave and loyal and honest and kind and good. He cares about everybody. He uses his powers to protect the weak and help the poor and defend the helpless. He became friends with Albert Desmond when nobody else would’ve given him a chance and got him his job at S.T.A.R. Labs, and he’s tried to help Mick Rory get the treatment he needs for his pyromania, too. He’s raised billions of dollars for charities, and he’s helped to save the world more times than I can count. (Pause) And he does all that while also working for justice as a police scientist! 

Hugo Strange: Mr. West, the exploits of Mr. Allen are well-known. I was asking you why you, in particular, are so fond of him. 

Wally: Well, he did marry my favorite aunt. (Pause) More importantly, though...as a kid, I really needed a hero, and he….he was my hero. My parents barely knew I was alive, except when I did something that inconvenienced them. When that happened, my dad would call me names or hit me, and my mom would wail and cry and guilt-trip….and then they’d go right back to obsessing over their own problems or arguing with each other. I...I felt like I was all alone, except for Aunt Iris. She was the one person in my family who really seemed interested in me, and she also had this awesome job as a reporter in a big city. She was really cool, but because I lived two hours away from her, I didn’t get to see her very much. (Pause) When Uncle Barry first became the Flash, I didn’t know who he was...but I idolized him. I was his biggest fan! I was even the President of the Blue Valley Flash Fan Club. (Pause, laughs) President and only member. The other kids thought he was cool, but they weren’t as invested in him as I was. To me, he represented freedom. 

Hugo Strange: It sounds as though you were a rather lonely little boy, Mr. West. 

Wally: Yeah, I guess I was. (Pause) That’s why I was so excited when my folks sent me to live with Aunt Iris in Central City during the summer when I was ten. And that’s when I first met Uncle Barry. Like I said, I didn’t know he was the Flash yet, so at first I thought he was...well, honestly? Kind of a dweeb. But then he told me that he knew the Flash and could introduce me to him. I was so excited, I probably could’ve inhaled an entire shoe. Anyway, Uncle Barry used his super speed to change into the Flash and act like he’d been waiting for me to arrive, and that’s when I met the Flash. He was everything I’d dreamed he would be. Even though I had been a little bit of a brat to him as Barry Allen, he treated me with respect; like he was happy to meet me and have me around, and it put me over the moon. Eventually, he started to explain how he’d gotten his powers, and that’s when it happened: lightning struck twice. I was doused in the same chemicals he’d gotten his super speed from, and I gained access to the speed force. It was the best day of my entire life. Besides the day I married Linda, of course. I became his sidekick, and from that point on, he was like a second father to me. He laughed at my stupid jokes, got me ice cream, took me on field trips, played games with me….all the things I dreamed of having my dad do with me. Eventually, he told me his secret identity. It was shortly before he and Aunt Iris got married, and I was ecstatic to learn that my favorite aunt was going to marry my hero. I was the ring bearer at their wedding, and from that point on, Uncle Barry and Aunt Iris basically raised me. They helped me through my parents’ divorce. Uncle Barry taught me how to balance a checkbook and apply for college scholarships; Aunt Iris helped me get my driver’s license and taught me how to really notice when other people were in need. (Pause) If it hadn’t been for them, I...I don’t know what would’ve happened to me. Maybe I’d be one of Captain Cold’s strays right now. 

Hugo Strange: Mr. West, let me posit a question to you. If your uncle loved you so much, why did he put you in a costume and allow you to fight dangerous criminals? You became the so-called Kid Flash at ten years old, and by the time you were eleven, you had already faced the Weather Wizard, Captain Cold, and the first Mirror Master-to say nothing of your garden-variety gangsters and thugs. Surely, a responsible adult would have ensured that you stayed far away from such violence...and yet Mr. Allen seemed to almost thrust you towards it. 

Wally: (Annoyed) Thrust me toward it? Are you kidding? If Uncle Barry hadn’t allowed me to be his sidekick, I’d have struck out and done superhero work on my own. I wanted to be just like him, remember? If anything, I thrust him into letting me fight criminals. (Pause) Besides, it wasn’t like he was just letting some random kid fight crime. I had super speed, remember? The chances of my getting shot were virtually nil. And the Rogues have a thing about not hurting kids. I wasn’t in any particular danger, especially not with Uncle Barry watching out for me. 

Hugo Strange: Mr. West, you obviously are unaware of this, but your uncle is a very sick man. 

Wally: Have you been listening to anything I said? Uncle Barry is the best man in the world. If that makes him crazy...well, I don’t want to be sane! 

Hugo Strange: Mr. West, I understand that this is difficult for you, but you must face reality. Your uncle was a very eccentric, very lonely man. He had few friends; most of his life was absorbed in his work. He always wanted to be someone special, but he knew that slow, lazy Barry Allen was no one important. Like you, he idolized a superhero-in his case, the Mystery Man known as Jay Garrick, and, like you, he wished that he, like his hero, was special. When his metahuman powers were activated by the lightning strike, his mind, already fragile from years of being mocked and looked down upon by his peers, shattered. He decided to use his powers to emulate the hero he had read about and idolized as a child, so that he could finally be special. Eventually, his antics drew the attention of other, even more damaged individuals, thereby indirectly inspiring the debut of all the costumed oddities that both you and your uncle spend so much time playing cops and robbers with. And then he met you. Another lonely little boy who wanted to be special. When you got your powers, he saw a chance to expand his fantasy world; recklessly endangering you. He may have been deluded enough to call you a sidekick, but what you really were was a child soldier. No wonder your life was sent into such a tailspin when he was temporarily lost in the speed force five years ago. Without him around to help maintain the fantasy that he had indoctrinated you into, you were lost, and the only solution you could think of was to take up the role that he had once filled. You are not a hero, Mr. West. You are a sad, deluded child; just as your uncle is a sad, deluded man. But I will see that you get the help you need. 

Wally: (Furious) That’s a load of bunk, and you know it! I don’t know what your game is, Dr. Strange, but you’re not going to get away with dragging my uncle’s name through the mud! 

Hugo Strange: Mr. West, your loyalty to your uncle is misguided. He is a dangerous vigilante, one who took advantage of your innocence and loneliness to turn you into yet another costumed freak. What he did to you was wrong, and it is my duty to make sure that you, and the rest of the world, realizes that fact. 

Wally: (Very loudly) Don’t you talk about Uncle Barry that way, you filthy liar! (Stands up rapidly; knocks over the chair he was sitting in) 

Hugo Strange: Mr. West, I would advise you to refrain from such open displays of hostility. Otherwise, I will have to recommend that your children not be allowed to visit you, for the sake of their own mental health. 

Wally: And how do you think it affected their mental health to have their parents locked up on phony charges, huh? 

Hugo Strange: Neither of you were fit guardians for them, Mr. West. I understand that having them separated from you was upsetting, but it is for their own good. You and your wife obviously love them, but you are too ill to properly care for them, and your wife was only enabling your behavior. It was simply not a safe environment for the children, so they have been removed from your home until such time as you have been cured and can properly care for them. Two generations of costumed vigilantes is quite….(Hugo Strange is frozen solid) 

Capt. Cold: And he’s got the nerve to call us crazy. Really, accusin’ you an’ your missus of being bad parents? I seen how you dote on those kids, West. Only a nutjob could think you were unsafe for ‘em. 

Wally: Captain Cold? 

Capt. Cold: The one and only. You ready to bust outta this joint, kid? 

Wally: Are you seriously asking me to help you escape prison? 

Capt. Cold: Sam got Lisa and all the guys out already, and I’ve pretty much already escaped, kid. Just figured I’d be nice and get you outta here, too-before the Doc decides to give you a lobotomy. (Freezes and breaks Wally’s metahuman power dampener) Besides, Central City is furious over what happened to you and your missus. They ain’t exactly gonna expedite you back here. 

Wally: All right...but as soon as Iron Heights gets rebuilt, I’m taking all of you Rogues straight back there. 

Capt. Cold: I wouldn’t have it any other way. (Pause) C’mon, kid. Let’s blow this popsicle stand.

[kyouxa]

Diabolik lovers Chaos Lineage: Kino (Story 14)

In terms of the gameplay: The black choices lead up to a bad ending, the white choices lead up to a good ending. Please no reposting onto other sites, ask me before translating this into another language too! If you enjoy these translations, please consider supporting me on ko-fi.

Place: Outside — Cave

Yui: Nn…

(Is this place… the cave? I wonder if I was carried back here, I probably fell asleep as soon as we returned)

(Maybe I should go back to sleep once again…)

Kino: …..

Yui: Ehh… Kino-kun!?

Kino: You overslept again. Wasn’t my sleeping princess talking about getting up earlier today?

Yui: I’m really sorry, I seemed to be really tired and I slept pretty soundly as well.

(T-That really surprised me. Kino-kun was right in front of my face when I woke up)

Kino: ...Your hair is all tousled. No matter how you’d put it, it looks really awful, y’know?

Yui: I can’t help it since I just woke up, okay?

Kino: Shut it. Let me fix this messy hair of yours for you while you simply stay quiet, ’kay?

Yui: Uh… sure.

(I-I wonder, why is he using his finger to brush my hair? It’s somehow embarrassing…)

Um… where’s everyone?

Kino: They got up a while ago and started preparing themselves. You’re the only one who still slept until now.

Reiji was about to start a strategy meeting from this time forward anyway.

Are you really gonna force yourself to join us in this kind of state though? You could still sleep as things are now.

Yui: No, I’m good. I’ll participate in this meeting too.

Kino: Fine, then let’s go.

Yui: (Ah… he simply left)

(To be honest, I didn’t think Kino-kun would make me feel better as easy as he did just now though)

(And having him stroke my hair was really nice too…)

I mean, I obviously have to worry about the strategy meeting from now on first!

(Gosh, just what was I thinking a second ago…)

*time passed*

Yui: Umm, good morning, everyone!

Laito: Did you finally get up, Bitch-chan? Seems as if you slept really comfortably.

I was about to mess around with you if you were still sleeping... doing all kinds of things... you know?♪

Ayato: Shut up, pervert.

Yui: Ahaha...

(I was so worried about coming here, but I guess I totally forgot that everyone’s memories already returned to them)

Kanato: Aren’t there any sweets available here? I can’t stand this anymore. I want to go home as soon as possible.

Yui: I-I’m sorry Kanato-kun. You have to be a little more patient.

Subaru: Fuck, what kind of a punishment game is it to sleep in the same space as these guys!?

I can’t sleep calmly because I don’t have my casket with me here.

Yui: I’m really sorry about that...

(Why am I even apologizing in the first place...)

Kino: Hey, you. Did you really use to live with these selfish guys?

Yui: I’m also questioning my personal experiences so far...

Reiji: Be quiet. If everyone has prepared themselves, we shall start holding another strategy meeting.

The topic of this discussion… shall be how we possibly could get out of this place, right?

Yui: ….. !

(I can finally face this problem together with everyone in the Sakamaki family)

(Maybe we can finally find an opening to get out of here like this… !)

Reiji: As Kino and others already mentioned, if this truly is a space which is completely isolated from the outside world...

The number of people who can do such impressive tricks are limited.

Subaru: Then who did this?

Shu: ...Our father, obviously.

Ayato: Ngh… that old geezer!?

Kino: ...As expected, they all think so.

Yui: Kino-kun…

Reiji: No, it is way too early to conclude that this might be our fathers doing after all.

However, it can be inferred that our father or someone with equivalent power created this space.

Kanato: What is it that you are talking about?

Reiji: This might be a simple guess, but we could easily judge this by the names of the supreme ruler and Eve.

Subaru: Tch, the nerve to do this shitty thing again...

Laito: Hey, if we try something out, we might actually achieve something.

If we can live up to their expectations, do you think we could get out?

Reiji: Well, that could be the case indeed.

Yui: But what should we do in order to live up to their expectations then?

Kino: It’s about fighting for the supreme leader, so why don’t we kill each other until there’s only one of us standing?

Yui: Kino-kun!

Kino: And if we don’t do that, why doesn’t the sleeping beauty herself choose her prince to be with?

Yui: A-Are you being serious about this right now… ?

Reiji: Let us return to that. As Kino already said, killing each other appears to be infertile.

But does anyone else have something else in mind?

Monologue

After that, Reiji-san and the others tried finding a solution for us to return back to the real world, but in the end they didn’t get to any conclusion.

In the meantime, time is the only thing that’s progressing.

As things were now, we were only going around circles, and therefore decided to interrupt this discussion to take a break.

Place: Outside — Cave

Yui: (Ah… speaking of which, Kino-kun was gone before I even noticed it)

(I wonder where he went?)

Reiji: You. Where do you think you are going?

Yui: Ah ... well, it looks like Kino-kun isn’t there, so I wanted to go out a little and look for him.

Reiji: Make sure not to go too far. There is still a possibility that someone from another family might be wandering around outside.

The others’ memories have not returned yet. Which means, they will aim for you if they spot you.

Yui: Yes, I know... I’ll be careful.

(He’s right. Everyone else’s memories are still weird)

(In that case, I have to be really cautious...)

Place: Outside — Cave entrance

Yui: (Kino-kun, where did you go? I really hope you’re somewhere nearby)

Ah… Kino-kun!

Kino: What? Why are you here too?

Yui: When I noticed you weren’t there anymore, I started to get worried. Why did you come here anyway?

Kino: ...I was wondering if I could see any shooting stars if I go outside.

But, this is a fake space. It has a fake night sky… which obviously means there won’t be any shooting stars falling down.

Yui: I see...

(Since everything is covered with trees, even the night sky can hardly be seen)

(But despite that, he still came here to try and see the stars. I wonder what he thought about?)

(After all, Kino-kun’s profile still looks somewhat lonely to me…)

Kino: If you’ve got anything to say to me, why not say it to my face instead of staring at me like that?

Yui: Ah, s-sorry! To be honest, I’d really like to see the stars too.

By the way, what did you say before to me? The stars always guided you, if I recall correctly?

Kino: Yeah, I did say that. What about it?

Yui: That sentence felt really important when you said it, so I kept thinking about it all the time. And I simply wondered what you mean by that.

...But if you don’t want to talk about it, I’m obviously not forcing you to say anything.

Kino: Nah… it doesn’t matter. It’s not like I have anything to hide from you anymore.

...When I was still a child, my father, Karlheinz, abandoned me in the demon worlds hinterland.

I don’t remember much of that time back then, but I do know that I was left behind there. Left on a cursed plot of land which was fully covered in the smell of rotten fruits.

Yui: A cursed place… in the demon world...

Kino: I was trying my best to keep walking despite tripping over rotten mud and being left in darkness. But even if I ended up in another place, there was nobody there.

I was so lonely I eventually started believing that I’d end up dying like this.

And in that moment… I saw a shooting star falling down for the first time. It was like an affirmation for my whole life to continue.

Yui: ….. !

Kino: My father… I desperately continued to think about why Karlheinz would’ve abandoned me as he did.

But I’m still certain there must’ve been a reason. Because at that time, the stars saving me felt as if it was fate.

I’m more than convinced that there must’ve been a reason why I was chosen for that.

Yui: Is that why you believe you’re the most suitable one for gaining his powers… ?

Kino: Exactly. With those powers in my hands, even those other stupid guys would have to realise that it was my destiny to get them.

Until now, nobody has ever acknowledged my existence so far.

But I’ll be recognized. Once I’ll have absolute power, no one will be able to go against me anymore.

Yui: (The stars guided him… and the stars gave him affirmation一)

(I see. The reason why Kino-kun is so particularly interested in gaining his power is...)

Choices

1) Someone recognizing him (white)♡♡♡

2) Proof of being alive (black)

一 Someone recognizing him ♡

Yui: (Kino-kun, I’m sure he just wants someone to recognize him. His existence in general一)

(But this is really sad thinking about it…)

Kino: What’s with the depressed face now?

Yui: It’s nothing... I just thought about it for a moment.

Even if you might not be able to show off your power, I’m sure there are people who will recognize you, Kino-kun.

Kino: Hah? I don’t need this kind of thing. You’re simply saying this half-minded stuff to pity myself again.

Yui: I do believe in that though. And so would Yuri-san.

一 Proof of being alive

Yui: (I think he wants proof that he’s being alive)

(After all, I’ve heard him talking about being strongly oppressed by others several times before)

Was there anyone around you that you could’ve possibly put trust in?

Kino: Well, that might be true.

Yui: But only Yuri-san is this kind of special person, right?

end Choices

Kino: Eh… Yuri… why do you know Yuri’s name?

Yui: Ah… ! Um, err…

(I know I should’ve kept silent about that, but it accidentally slipped out of my mouth…)

(But now that I’ve already said it, there’s no point in hiding it anymore)

I might’ve heard you sleep-talking and saying that name while doing so.

Kino: What, so that’s it? Is listening to other people talk in their sleep one of your hobbies or something?

Yui: I’m really sorry…

Kino: It’s true that Yuri and I’ve been together for a really long time already. We’ve always been close to each other after all.

Which is why I’m sure Yuri’s still undoubtedly waiting for my return.

Yui: ...Nn. I see… that’s probably true...

Kino: ….. ? What’s wrong?

Yui: Nothing, let’s just try our best to go back to the real world as soon as possible.

Kino: Yeah, you’re right.

Yui: (So he does think Yuri-san’s waiting for his return as well. Why did my chest hurt so much when I heard him say this right now though?)

(I should at least try to act happy for Kino-kun to be able to return to someone as important as her)

Kino: After all of this is over, you’ll also be able to live with your beloved Sakamaki guys again. Aren’t you happy about that too?

Yui: Yes, I am… I want to go home soon too.

Kino: ...Nn.

Well, remember once you returned home. I’ll come and get rid of all of you.

Yui: T-That’s not something I want to remember...

Kino: ….. !

Yui: What’s wrong?

Kino: ...Someone is heading towards this way.

Yui: Eh… ?

*someone walks up*

Yui: ….. ! Carla-san…

Kou: So you really were in a place like this. No wonder it was so quiet when we went to Scarlet’s mansion.

Azusa: Eve… we’ve been… looking for you.

Yui: Kou-kun, Azusa-kun…

Carla: Obediently hand over Eve to me. Someone like you is simply not fit for the tasks of a supreme ruler.

Kino: ...So they really did end up finding us, hm? It would’ve been easy if it was only Kou and Azusa, but Carla is here with them too.

Yui: (What should we do? Everyone is still inside the cave… !)

Kino: It’s alright. We know Carla can’t remember anything about being a founder, which should make things somehow manageable.

Yui: Why?

Kino: Because he doesn’t remember being a founder, he wouldn’t know he has any sort of great power to begin with.

Even if he’s a founder, he doesn’t know anything about how strong his powers are, which means there is something we can do after all.

Yui: (Is he reaching into his pocket? What on earth is he about to do?)

*Kino’s pocket rushles*

Carla: Just what is it that you are hiding? You will not be able to escape from me with a little trick you might have up your sleeves.

Kino: I know that already. So 一 I’ll do this instead!

Carla: Kch… !

Kou: Ngh… ! What was that… !?

Azusa: My body… it won’t move...

Yui: (Why did Carla-san’s and the others’ state change so quickly all of the sudden… ?)

Carla: You… what did you do… !?

Kino: Now we’ve earned a little time!

While we still can, run!

Yui: A-Alright!

*they start running*

Yui: But, Kino-kun! What did you do to them!?

Kino: It’s a talisman with magical power. It’s an item that can suppress any devil’s power for a certain period of time!

Well, it’s a one time only item, so that’s it.

Yui: These kinds of things exist!?

Kino: I’m the only one who has things like this here, right? Seems as if I accidentally brought it with me alongside my smartphone.

But that doesn’t matter right now, we have to let the others know about this as soon as possible first… !

Yui: Ah, everyone! You’ve come outside...

Reiji: What is it you are making this much noise for? It is almost as if you encountered an enemy raid.

Yui: It’s Carla-san! He came here with Kou-kun and Azusa-kun!

Kino: Carla and the others are unable to move right now. We have to make a run for it while we still can!

Kanato: And where exactly do you expect us to run?

Kino: I know a place where nobody should expect us to be!

Subaru: Doesn’t that sound kinda sloppy? Does a place like that even exist here!?

Laito: I don’t think Carla came here with the plan to aim for us though.

Shu: Yes. It’s obvious that they’re merely suspicious of their absent brothers being accompanied by other guys.

Ayato: Then what are we supposed to do?

Kino: Even so, we still need a place to hide ourselves in...

There’s no other choice than that!

*Kino leaves*

Yui: Kino-kun, where are you going!?

Kino: It’s fine, just follow me!

Yui: Kino-kun…

(Let’s follow him. I believe in Kino-kun一!)

[misterewrites]

Secret Agent Bard (Welcome to the Underground!)

Hello everyone! E here with a new chapter of the underground! Woo! I hope you are all doing good and staying safe.

So I actually have more to say today! That's a trip. I’ll have an author’s note under the line. 

So that's it for now. Stay safe, take care of you and your loved ones, stay out of trouble, wash your hands, wear your mask, get vaccinated if you can and push to release the vaccine world wide cuz we're all in this together. Have a great week and thanks for reading. I appreciate it and feel free to tell your friends, reblog, drop likes and feedback i love it all. Bye for now and enjoy!

If you want an easier place to read the story cuz tumblr sucks sometimes here’s a link to the chapter https://archiveofourown.org/works/27814297/chapters/79541746

The First Chapter: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27814297/chapters/68094967

and since you made it this far here’s a link to all my stories!

https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrE42/pseuds/MrE42

Byeeeeee!

Author’s note:  Today’s work will be a little different as there will be singing. The chapter with the bard is gonna have singing? Go figure haha So if you see a sentence in Italics, that means someone is singing. Bold and italics represents various people singing as a group. The song in question is called twiddles. There's different versions of it but the one I chose is from the misbehavin maidens. Great group but all their work ranges from innuendos to straight up not safe for work so listen at your peril. I have now completed my responsible adult duties haha. here’s a link to the chosen song https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iS1-_fKF5ug

Summary: Oliver has quite the task ahead of him as the group splits to achieve their goals. Leading Sel and Flora, the young bard will have to think quick on his feet to ensure this mission is a success. Luckily he's an old hand at this. Ironically the one person who could distract him may make a surprise appearance tonight.

-----

Oliver stood quietly, arms crossed and his mind thoughtful as the group prepared to go their separate ways. While ideally nothing would go wrong, that was a childish belief: Every person and robotic being here knew safety was not guaranteed in their line of work.

Even the old man knew the risks.

Oliver hated doing nothing. He thrived when he was busy, focused on whatever task required his attention whether it be being a better bard or upholding the Choir’s values. Too many ghosts and regrets lingered on the edges of his mind and he found the best solution was to simply keep occupied.

But that was his coping mechanism, not everyone else. He knew better than to rush his team: The party would last at least another few hours and beside the goal of getting Sel to the third floor, there was nothing else to do. No information to gather, nothing to review. Let them have their moment, it was good for morale.

Terri and Flora were sickeningly adorable: Hands clasped tightly with Terri tearfully asking her girlfriend to not poison everyone. Flora gave a halfhearted promise while as they shared a tender kiss. Terri noticed her less than enthused tone but refused to press the matter further.

Tyrell stood awkwardly to the side, his face twisted in a strange mixture of sick and excited. He fidgeted with something in his pocket, seeking comfort from whatever lay within. Given the shape of the bulge and size, Oliver guessed it was a knife.

Sel stood nearby, motionless in the shadows of the alley. They hadn’t moved in some time though he suspected the automaton was simply waiting for the next phase of the plan.

“Alright” Oliver spoke up, his voice firm yet gentle “Times up. You have your assignments?”

Uneven murmuring responded.

“Let’s go.”

Oliver, Sel and Flora went down one end of the alley, Terri and Tyrell disappearing in the opposite direction.

-----

It didn’t take long for the trio to find the main streets of the Merchant Ward and make their way towards the Brambleoak banking office. The crowds weren’t as thick as they had been during the day but Oliver knew everyone out and about did so with a purpose.

“Bard.” Flora asked without warning, breaking the awkward silence “Question.”

“Answer.” Oliver cheekily replied.

Flora glared.

Oliver coughed “Yes?”

“You are a First Chair Soprano correct?”

“Yes ma’am.”

“Yet you are so young. How did you manage that? I thought First Chair ranks were only reserved for experienced or particularly skilled members. You don’t seem to be very magically powerful.”

Oliver paused for a moment, trying to best answer the question.

In a way Flora was correct in her assessment: He wasn’t particularly powerful as a spellcasting bard. Unlike Flora who clearly committed herself fully to nature and thus druidic magic, Oliver had only recently thrown himself into the magical arts.

Unless you were a wizard who studied the secrets of the universe with a very intimate and well versed knowledge of magic, most spellcasters drew their power from sources of existence: Clerics from their gods, Druids from nature, Warlocks from something beyond mortal existence yet not quite a deity, sorcerers because a family member fucked around with pure incomprehensible concepts. Magic was the fabric of the universe and the more you threw yourself into a source of power, the more the source threw itself into you, guiding your hand and your spells.

Of course each, wizards exempt, were limited in their spellcasting options. Clerics were powerful holy/unholy practitioners but couldn’t command plant life to save their lives. Druids were in tune with nature and the weather and all the lovely flora and fauna but ask them to superimpose an image onto something and they’d give you a dumbfounded look. Warlocks kinda just do whatever their sugar patrons felt like lending.

Magic bards drew their power from the arts: Drawing, singing, poetry, even witty and funny satire. Bards were in tune with life, with existence. Art could heal, could hurt, could make you feel happy and sad. It could make you feel like a whole new person or perhaps take you to a time and place you’d forgotten. Bards sung the song of life and Oliver was no exception.

However, Oliver still wasn’t sure what he could do exactly. His magical muscle was average on a good day and he could only cast a few spells before needing a good night’s rest. The basic healing spells and comprehension language he cast earlier today had taken a good chunk of his energy but he relied more on his wit than raw magical strength. He discovered creative and useful ways to cast his spells like amplifying dissonance noises to distract and disorient foes or temporarily place another person’s image over himself. Magic was as much about creativity as it was skill, pushing the limits of what you can do with your particular brand of spells.

“I’m clever.” Oliver answered honestly “The whole magic of the arts is new to me but I’ve been in the Choir for a long time now. I used to be Tenor like Sel here but more fast talking than breaking and entering. I guess they carried over my old position into my new one.”

Flora nodded, satisfied “That answers much. How long have you been a bard?”

“Few years now.” Oliver checked the street sign to ensure they were on the right path “The magic part is going on 3 years.”

“I see.” Flora scratched her chin “I’ve been a druid my whole life so it is a strange concept to be so new to the spellcasting arts yet hold such a high rank.”

Oliver gave a casual shrug “Not sure what you want me to say. We’re here by the way.”

The bank looked as unkempt as Oliver had remembered: Faded, peeling green paint with gaudy gray stone pillars. Two guards in green uniforms stood in front of the massive reddish brown doors that led into the bank.

“Lea’s mercenaries.” Sel pointed out “They are not letting anyone in.”

“Correction.” Oliver brushed off nonexistent dirt from his washed-out outfit “They’re not letting nobodies in. Luckily tonight we’re somebodies. Follow my lead.”

Oliver let out a tense breathe before strolling forward, his mannerism cocky yet unsteady. He reached the top of the steps when two sharp looking blades reached out to stop him.

“Halt” The elvish woman spoke with a hint of irritation “You lost?”

“Not at all!” Oliver beamed with a smile that was too wide to be natural “I’m here for the party. There is a party inside no?”

“No” The human man spat out.

Oliver gave a forgetful grin “Oh? I could’ve sworn Brambleoak was having some sort of charity event tonight. I’d show you my invite but I think I misplaced it.”

The elvish woman sneered “Right. How convenient for you having lost your special one of a kind invite.”

“Pfft.” Oliver scoffed “Special one of a kind invite? Reiner hands them out like candy. Probably find one in a gutter nearby.”

The guards shared an unspoken understanding with one another.

“Well.” The human began “Let’s pretend that is true.”

“It is but go on.”

The human’s eyes narrowed “Why should we let you in? You dress rather poorly for someone claiming to be in Reiner’s usual circles.”

Oliver let out an exaggerated gasp as he puffed out his chest “Do you know who I am?”

“Umm no.”

Oliver growled unhappily, his fist clenched tightly within his pocket “I am rich! I AM POWERFUL! AND I DEMAND ACCESS!”

As quick as lightning, Oliver flung a handful of gold coins towards the pair. The two reeled back in surprised as the money clanked onto the smooth marble floor. A moment hardly passed before the guards were shoving the loose coins into their tunic pockets like hungry dogs. They straightened up, eyes alive with greed.

“Of course sir” The elvish woman bowed her head in apologize “Deeply sorry for that.”

“Please go ahead.”

Oliver gave a self satisfied nod before moving past the pair only to stop as he heard the sounds of swords scraping each other. He turned backwards to see the guards barring access to Flora and Sel.

Flora looked back and forth between the guards, her eyes calculating and cold. Sel stood still but clearly at the ready for any sort of trouble.

“They’re with me.”

The Elvish woman shook her head “We said we’d let you in. These two? Definitely not Reiner’s usual prey.”

“They aren’t” Oliver admitted “But I need them.”

The human turned to him, suspicion in his eyes “Why?”

“She…” Oliver pointed lazily towards Flora “Is my street doctor.”

“Street doctor? As in….?”

Oliver gave a cheery wink “The fun kind.” And for give measure, he added a weak shiver to his act “Ugggggh I feel cold, are you cold? It’s cold.”

Before anyone could say anything, Oliver began shaking. He rubbed his hands for ‘warmth’ while swaying back and forth.

“Uh oh.” Flora spoke dully, pushing past the guards and holding Oliver steady “He’s crashing. I need to give him his umm medicine.”

“Medicine?” Oliver repeated, his voice soft yet manic “Yes medicine. I need it. I NEED IT!”

Folks began to turn their way, the guards shifting uncomfortably under the sudden attention they were receiving.

“And this one?” The Elvish woman gestured to Sel.

Oliver began to rock back and forth, his voice a harsh whisper. “Guard. Guard. Guard guard guard guard.”

The human threw up his hands in defeat “Bah! Get him in there and fixed! Any trouble and I’ll personally come over to beat your asses.”

“Thank you sir.” Flora murmured through gritted teeth. She guided Oliver and Sel through the doors and into the party within.

Flora sighed as Sel cracked the tension out of their fingers. Oliver straightened up, wiping the sweat from his brow.

True to his expectations, the bank had been altered to be suitable for a charity event: Torches lined the walls, casting the building into a bright light. The desks normally found on the floor were gone as to allow a more spacious setting. Oliver counted a handful of guards scattered about, wandering about for any sign of trouble. All except for the lone guard beyond the empty elevated platform who stood in front of the stairway to the upper floors.

“What now?” Flora asked

“Split up. Sel stay close to the door, Flora and I will figure out a distraction.”

“Sounds good.”

And without another word, Oliver was swallowed whole into the crowd.

-----

It had taken an hour for Oliver to figure out what kind of distraction he would need.

The patrols themselves hadn’t been very difficult to plan for: They would move randomly about, keeping an eye on the party and each other. He counted about 6 of them total and each one of them was easily starstruck. At the sign of any disagreement, they would swarm in groups of three and quickly threaten any troublemakers into compliance. However, upon meeting anyone with even the smallest bit of fame, they would subtly motion to each other and make their way as one to the person in question, hoping for a glance or the chance for an autograph.

So the floor guards were no problem but the one standing watch over the door was much more difficult. Evidently Lea was smart enough to give the most important job to the most responsible of his idiots. The stairway guard or Stairy as Oliver labeled him, would not budge at the sign of any trouble. Loud arguments, agitated party goers, a waiter being tripped (sorry it was for science buddy). None of these would pull him from his post. Celebrities wouldn’t either. Any time his buddies motioned to a famous person, he would shrug his shoulders and stay put.

Oliver was beginning to wonder if Flora needed to poison Stairy until he noticed something about half way into his observations: Stairy was a music lover. Specifically a cute girl music lover.

His gaze would wander every time he caught sight of a pretty girl who happened to be too close to him. Oliver wasn’t sure at first so he decided to test his theory. With his pocket change lessened, Oliver noticed how often a girl would catch Stairy’s eye. His attention didn’t shift when they fell in front of him, obviously in distress, or walked slower allowing him to enjoy the view longer but Oliver caught him smiling and tapping his foot when the odd girl would sing. He even staggered away from his door a few steps at a time before catching himself and returning to his post.

So the best distraction would be a girl who could sing and have some level of fame attached to her name.

Oddly specific and Oliver hadn’t the slightest idea how he was going to mange that. He was attempting to solve this puzzle when something caught his ear.

“Get off me you mulched dirt licker!”

That rather unique set of cursing could only mean one thing: Flora.

Oliver turned to where he last spotted her and found the young druid being hassled by a tall man in an elegant uniform.

Oliver noticed the guards were looking about, not yet spotting the commutation but aware something was going on. He needed to act first if he wanted to stop Flora deciding to kill everyone in the room.

The bard quickly slipped into the crowd, darting and weaving between any and everyone he could. He saw Flora slip a small vial into her hand as the man towered over her.

“I jus wanna dance.” the man’s words slurred out of his mouth “A pretty thing like yo shou wanna dance”

Flora’s eyes narrowed angrily “For the last time you dried poop stain, LEAVE ME ALONE!”

Flora pulled back her hand, prepared to throw the mysterious vial at the drunk’s face.

“Whoa!” Oliver cried out, tightly grasping onto Flora’s wrist “What seems to be the problem?”

“Nothing I can’t solve on my own.” Flora coldly glanced towards the drunken man.

“One sec.”

Oliver eyed the man carefully, absorbing every little detail he could.

He could see the muscles strain against the fabric of his light green tunic so this man worked in something physically laborious. The sheathed sword on his belt weight seemed to throw him off balance with every step. His gaze was unsteady and Oliver could see his pupils dilating wildly.

So this man was physically fit, armed with a sword in a charity event for the rich people and wearing light green tunic while currently drunk.

“You should leave her alone” Oliver said, sarcasm dipping from each word “You are so not her type.”

“So?” The man hiccupped “What’s the big deal?”

“So she’s got a girlfriend you idiot.” Oliver gestured with his hand “Besides you should go before your boss Lea gets here. I’m betting he won’t be happy one of his undercover mercs is currently drunk on the job. Of course I could always tell your captain what’s going on. That’s him over there right?”

Oliver gestured to the closest guard making his way towards the trio. He didn’t look any different than any guards but Oliver noticed his green was a shade darker than the rest. Lea probably used different hues to signify rank in his mercenaries.

The drunk’s face paled as he fidgeted nervously. He rose his hands in surrender, eyes darting between the two “Sorry.”

“Any trouble?” The captain approached, his hand tightly held around the hilt of his blade.

Oliver beaned cheerfully, trying his best to pull attention away from the fuming Flora “Not at all my good sir. This man simply mistook us for someone else, correct?”

The drunk nodded slowly “My bad. Forgive my intrusion.”

The captain gave a cold smirk “Apologizes. Mikey?”

The drunk flinched “Yes sir?”

“A word in private. Now.”

Oliver let out a sigh of relief as the captain dragged Mikey away..

“You should’ve let me poison them.” Flora muttered darkly.

Oliver scratched the back of his neck tiredly “Night’s still young. Still might get your chance if I can’t figure a way past Stairy.”

Flora tilted her head quizzically “Stairy?”

“The asshole at the base of the stairs.” Oliver answered absentmindedly as he spotted a familiar streak of platinum blonde hair among the crowd of strangers “And I just figured it out. Can I trust you not to poison everyone here?”

“You have an hour. I get bored easily” Flora swirled the sickly purple liquid in the vial threateningly.

“You and me both.” Oliver patted her shoulder before chasing down his perfect distraction.

-----

Oliver’s heart began to thunder loudly in his ears, a nervous and uncontrollable energy overtaking his resolve. The mission was important but he would be lying if he said he wasn’t happy to see Maria today.

Maria Thoreau was the daughter of a powerful, influential family. The Thoreau’s were more concerned with their standing in high society than any virtuous endeavors and thus each one of their children was trained from birth to excel in their chosen field. Maria’s older brothers were an aspiring politician and merchant respectively.

Maria’s path was to be a well famous singer and patron of the arts. She wanted nothing more than to sing for the people. Unfortunately, her father only saw a chance to further the family’s good name and tied his desire for power with her passion and dream. It was bittersweet really but nothing much could be done about it.

Yet.

Maria knew Oliver as a musical rival who thwarted her group’s attempts at winning local competitions which in turned derailed her father’s plans. So needless to say she was less than thrilled when she caught him making his way over.

“Ollie” she forced a smile while her hazel eyes narrowed, peeved “I’m surprised to see they let you into this exclusive event.”

Oliver gave a cocky shrug “Well your beauty caught my attention and I couldn’t resist trying to figure out a way in.”

Maria’s cheeks burned a pinkish hue.

Maria was the same age as Oliver with short, tastefully cut dark brown hair. A single streak of platinum blonde hair hung off the side of her face, giving her such a cute look. Her clothes were practical tonight since she wasn’t performing: A simple white blouse with a long flowing dark blue skirt that went all the way down to her feet. Her shoes were sensible dark blue flats designed for comfort over style.

Maria coughed into her hand, willing her blush away.

“So.” She cleared her throat “Is this your sad attempt to throw me off my game? You won’t win the next competition. We’ll be dealing with professional judges this time.”

Oliver’s eyes widen in false surprise “There’s a competition here? Fancy that. I hadn’t been made aware of that but since we’re both in town, why not have a round two?”

“Oliver….”

“I mean” Oliver went on, pretending not have heard “You are a much better singer solo than with those harpies you’re forced to keep around.”

Maria glanced to the side timidly “Don’t be absurd, the Melodic Maidens are a perfect, well oiled machine.”

Oliver scoffed dismissively “I suppose they’re nearby, listening in. Hardly leave you alone, don’t they?”

Maria opened her mouth to respond when a shrilly voice cut in.

“What do you know you two bit hack? How much did you bribe the judges last time?!”

Oliver gave a strained smile as the rest of the ladies forced their way into view.

“Lilly, Filly, Sally. You suck.”

The triplets snarled in unison, openly glaring at the bard.

Lilly, Filly and Sally were Maria’s chains: They were as much there to further her career as they were to report back to daddy to ensure the errant daughter stayed on course.

As triplets, they all shared the same features: Three pairs of dull green eyes and long messy black hair. Even their clothing were the same with each wearing a strapless dress that showed way too much skin and skirts that were way too short. The only reason Oliver could tell them apart was due to their preferred colors: Lilly in a shade of pink that was bright for her skin tone, Filly with a pale ugly yellow and Sally in seas of dark red.

The trio surrounded Maria, their arms embracing her in an uncomfortable hug. Maria bit her lip, trying to hide her uneasy.

“Still wearing that tacky outfit huh Ollie?” Lilly eyed his faded clothing distastefully.

Sally let out an unfriendly laugh “Ollie always looks like trash. Not even prize money could buy an ounce of class.”

“Actually” Oliver brushed his shoulder dismissively “Class is cheap. No amount of money could buy an ounce of character. You can blow hot air at me all you want but nothing in this world could ever change the fact that the three of you are bitches.”

The trio clicked their tongues disappointingly, their normally plain faces twisted into unflattering visages of rage while they screamed as one.

“HOW DARE YOU INSULT US?!”

“YOU ARE SUCH A POOR TACTLESS MAN!”

“YOU FUCKER!”

Oliver casually waved his hand “All bark and no bite. I’m supposed believe you’ve gotten any better in two months? Last time I checked I won the last competition.”

“OH YEAH?!” The triplets yelled, furious.

Maria threw a suspicious glance Oliver’s way “Girls, I don’t think…”

“Come on Maria, we don’t want to have to tell daddy you backed down from a challenge.”

A shiver ran down her spine, the fight draining out of her face. Oliver felt a tinge of guilt but said nothing as the girls took their positions.

Maria paused for a moment, her breathing slow and calm. The murmur of the crowds grew louder and louder upon the recognition that the ladies nearby were the Melodic Maidens.

Maria pivoted on her heels, a bright warm smile gracing her lips. Oliver could feel his heart skip a beat at the sound of her soft, airy voice beginning to sing

“Oh you hear a lot of stories about the sailors and their sport” Maria gave a playful wink his way. His cheeks burned brightly at her playful banter.

“About how every sailor has a girl in every port”

Maria twirled, her steps mischievous and alluring as her dark blue dress chased after her. She gracefully held two fingers aloft for everything to see, her smirk cocky and assured.

“but if you added two and two you’d figure out right quick”

Maria backed up as the triplets step forward to join her, the group made whole and ready for the chorus.

“It’s just because the girls all have a lad on every ship”

Maria turned to throw a sultry look towards her rival bard but instead of finding a dumbstruck Oliver, she found a smiling one. His gaze was gentle and loving as if he was seeing utterly beautiful. A small smile was tugging at his cheeks. Maria could feel her heart thunder in her ears as, without warning, Oliver gave a thumbs up and mouthed an appreciative “Thanks” before ducking into the growing crowd.

“And it’s twiddley idle idle idle, twiddley idle aye.”

What was once a spattering of folks formed into a massive gathering. Most of the party goers and guards had come over to catch the free show the girls inadvertently given and thus all focus shifted onto them. What was an attempt to show up Oliver ended up being a very unnecessary showcase.

“It’s often times a man will leave you broken with dismay”

Boy was Maria feeling that dismay right now.

-----

Oliver’s plan worked: Stairy hadn’t been to resist the siren call of a beautiful woman and her singing. Luckily the harpies hadn’t ruined it with their imperfect pitches. Stairy hadn’t taken more than a few steps when Sel slipped in behind and began working at the door. It took a moment but one blink later and the automaton vanished out of sight.

Oliver let out a sigh when a hand gripped his shoulder tightly.

“Hello sir.” A guff, low voice in a less than friendly voice “Might I have a word? You’ve been acting rather strange all party long.”

Well fuck.

[sk-lumen]

Need serious advice about setting boundaries or communicating when dealing with a person who:

Is a parent

Has unhealthy communication methods -- it takes very little for them to start full-blown screaming, shouting out all your 'negative' things/mistakes/past, can continue to scream-criticise you even after you've gone silent, for WHOLE MINUTES even if you've shut up, will not accept anything that even hints at them making a mistake

You can't trust since childhood coz u made the mistake of confiding in them with a serious issue as a young teen --- mental related --- and they belittled and invalidated you, and since then pretended you never confided in them and have NO IDEA how you've been coping without them or ANYone else for years... Yeah thanks, parent, what u said back then made me think I was the one at fault and so I stopped trusting even friends coz yeah, when ur own parent doesn't give a damn, why would anyone else?

Is a master at silent treatments without explaining what EXACTLY they're punishing you for, then when theyre in the mood, will start talking to you as if they hadn't ignored you for days. Lol I'd rather be water boarded I think. Especially for all the damage this caused when I was a child

Won't openly talk about what they want, yet expects ALL FHE TIME others (in the family) to know what they want, then will complain/scream/angry for AGES about how no one cares, no one gives a damn... And when someone asks them what they want, they either say: nothing, or "you should know! Can't u see?"

Upon asking them to please talk normally, will blow a fuse, and lose it --- happened multiple times today

Literally will use me as a scape goat to unleash their frustrations upon. Even when I leave the room, I can hear them b*tch about how much of a failure I am etc. The trigger being anything that bothers them, from a phone call to something other siblings did, bla bla. I limit my time with them... But it's like, it feels impossible to have them treat me normally, without ridiculing or criticising me. I'm already a very low self esteem person... This doesn't help AT ALL

In short, refuse to tell/ask/discuss important stuff, and getting mad randomly that no one read their mind, bcoz everyone's 'old enough to have enough sense' to know what they 'should' do... Eg will not pikc up the phone when we call them from the store to ask when what the needed isn't available, so what other alternative can we get... And then when we get home, will instead blame us for being fussy and not getting the alternative, completelt skirting around the issue they didn't deign to pick up the phone... I mean, I don't get it. In the past I HAVE in fact asked them to just openly tell me what they want/expect from me to make them happy... Got passive aggressive answers like "don't you know? Are you dumb?" Bla bla

Passive aggressive to the max when they've lost it

Expect me to drop anything I'm doing and immediately cater to them, and expect me to help them in their hobbies (while simultaneously, as I learned many years ago to much heartache, not being interested or even pretending to be interested in my hobbies. The disinterest taught me very quickly how much what I wanted meant, leading to years of self-invalidation. Luckily I've learned it really is them, not me. My hobbies are valid)

Will not talk about why they're feeling angry, what causes it. Instead will blame me, who's like the golden scapegoat in our amazing family, by saying :YOU made me negative. They've said it many times now... It hurts a lot, when I'm also struggling with my own issues which I ofc can't confide in them about :)

Today I manned up -- the outburst of hatred happened again! Over a simple thing. It was NIGHTMARE and made me angry/sad/frustrated/triggered---, and so I told them to stop talking like that... Boy was that the wrong thing to say... I don't think I can accurately tell u what happened afterwards...

Usually children learn communication skills from the parents... I at least learned to recognize the unhealthy ones, and what NOT to communicate like lol. Like, other parent is even worse, believe it or not. But that's another complex situation

I'm not bashing on the parent. Lord knows I even have that much of a right huh? I hate myself eveb more when they invalidate me if I try to show how MUCH THEY HURT me after a 'communication session'. As in, heaven forbid me if I BE SILENT afterwards and DON'T wanna listen to their retardation. Nope. Even then they provoke me, rage at me, you know how sometimes enraged people hiss vitriol thru gritted teeth? Yeah, that's what they did today after I stayed silent and tried to ignore them an hour later after the 'session' when they wabted something. It's like they don't even need me to say a word and will carry on and on for minutes 🤢

I feel alone, helpless and at a loss what to do

I want to move out. Due to severe mental issues I can't even move out rn coz it scares me even more. But this has to stop. Things are only okay if I'm absolutely passive, say yes to whatever they want, kill my wants and needs, and become a perfect robot bred to cater to them (parent)

I hope you can help me out, dear

Hi darling,

It sounds like you’re in a considerably toxic environment. I'm sorry you're going through this. Know that this is not normal, nor is it how a parent/child relationship should be. In case there's any doubt, let me start by saying you deserve to be supported, respected, listened to, to have your needs met. You deserve to live in an environment that offers you all of these things.

With that being said, from the many scenarios you’ve mentioned you’ve already tried reasoning and setting boundaries, to no avail. There is only so much you can do on your own, if the other person in the equation is not meeting halfway or at all. After all, a healthy conversation involves two people, not just one.

Here's my advice, in this order:

Calmly and maturely asking the respective parent to have a serious discussion with you and to listen to what you have to say. Share how their actions and behaviour is making you feel, let them know you care, and make sure to mention several solutions for the issue as well. If this doesn’t work…

Bring up the subject of needing help from outside, such as the assistance of a specialist/therapist. Family counselling can shed a lot of light on toxic behaviours that are ingrained from childhood (both in their case and yours), on fears your parent may have, stress from their work, whatever is causing their outbursts and anger - because there is always a reason. Behind anger is sadness, and behind sadness is some need not being met, or an underlying fear, trauma, etc. This is not a justification for their behaviour, they are responsible for it; this is simply the fact of how energy dynamics work. People bottle up their frustrations, fears, etc, and let them out on those closest to them, to whom they feel superior. It’s not fair, and it’s not healthy, but it is frequently how this pattern works. If this solution doesn’t work either…

Then unfortunately, all you can do is focus on yourself. If they refuse to meet you anywhere along the road, you have to pack up your things and go your own way. Literally or metaphorically. They may be your parent and you may love them even in spite of their behaviour, but you cannot hold yourself responsible for anything they say or do; that is on them. In those cases, you have to prioritize your own mental health and wellbeing, and focus on moving out. If your (home) environment is toxic, you have to focus on first changing it. That’s vital. Only afterwards can you start healing, refinding yourself, reclaiming your self-esteem and confidence, your sense of worth. As long as you stay stuck in a toxic environment, you cannot really heal; if there is abuse of any kind (physical, mental, emotional), the causes are still there, leading to re-traumatizing.

If for whatever reason moving out is not (yet) an option, I would emphasize seeking some sort of counselling for yourself, if nothing else. You need an anchor, some sort of support that will help you along your path until you do get out.

Now, I don’t know how old you are. I am going to assume you are over 18 and of age, so only mind my advice if that is the case. (As disclaimer, I don't provide advice to minors as it's not the scope of my blog nor am I specialized/focused on that area.)

I understand moving out seems scary because it is unknown, but with that line of thought you may wait another 10 years in the same situation. Wouldn’t you wake up 10 years later already having done the hard work on moving out, finding your independence, claiming your sense of individuality and moving on from this sort of environment, this phase in your life?

Sooner is better than later, but do so with mindfulness and care over your mental health, of course. I know it’s scary. But being an adult requires some difficult decisions at times, and setting boundaries begins with choosing your wellbeing and doing what needs to be done, even if it is something uncomfortable short-term, but highly rewarding and beneficial long-term.

Hope this helps... and wishing you much luck, clarity, gentle guidance and comfort.✨

PS: Lately I've been receiving longer and longer letters in my inbox. As solution, I was thinking of having longer asks/letters redirected to my blog where there isn't any length limit, and readers can more comfortably browse both my tumblr and blog - and those requesting advice can share and receive a more in-depth response.

-Lumen

[weasleydream]

So cold

HOLY FREAKING SH*T THERE’S 300 OF YOU FOLLOWING ME THAT’S JUST INSANE!!!!! 

Thank you so much, all of you, thank you for supporting me in my work! I just- I don’t have the words to express how freaking much I love you all, and special mention for @pregnant-piggy and @theravenclawmarauder, two amazing persons

So now that I’ve said that, this is my first request and it’s from @smiles-returning-to-the-faces. As I’ve told you, I’ve taken some liberty and I hope it’s still okay for you (and I’m sorry it’s been so long...)

This is my first Sirius x reader and I hope you’ll enjoy!

Masterlist

(too lazy to find a gif right now)

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

It was strange, the silence invading the house while just one week ago, it was filled with laughters, discussions and complaints. Now, the 12 Grimmauld Place seemed as dead as the rats once hiding in the couch, even though we were still four souls in there. Kreacher was bound to the house, of course, and he didn’t have much of a choice. Nor did Buckbeak the dear hippogriff and Sirius. And me? Nothing could have forced me to stay here, nothing except my love for the husband I had lost so many years ago. 

Sirius was my first and only love, the only man I had ever known. At first, his bad boy attitude had intrigued me. He seemed to be a living cliche, the heartbreaker of the school, never listening to anyone yet adored by even the strictest teachers of Hogwarts. Even his group of friends seemed cliche: the other star of the school, excelling in the Quidditch team and the most popular girl’s boyfriend; the serious guy, the prefect who had in fact the most mischievous ideas; and the shy boy who was part of the band without anyone really understanding why. 

Then I had begun to know him, to know his deep self, and I had fallen for the fragile boy with low self-confidence, the boy who had ran away from home and who wanted so desperately a family, which he had found with the Marauders. We were so different at the time, I was as introvert as he was loud and sometimes eccentric, but don’t they say that opposites attract? The only thing we seemed to have in common was our fear to love deeply, with all our heart, the fear of being abandoned and left broken on the sidewalk. 

We had found each other, we had begun dating at the end of sixth year and married half a year after graduation. We were both terrified of what life held for us, always dreading the moment one of us had to leave on a mission for the Order. It was exhausting, and one day, Sirius had proposed. A week later, I was officially Y/N Black. 

And a year and a half later, I was indeed left broken on the sidewalk, holding in my shaking hands the Prophet which first page showed Sirius, my beloved Sirius, laughing maniacally after, in their words, having killed Peter. James and Lily were dead, betrayed by I didn’t know who, Remus was gone I didn’t know where, and now Peter was dead too and Sirius… 

I spent the first year fighting tooth and claws to liberate him. I knew him, he would never have betrayed the man he loved like his brother and killed one of his best friends. Never. But proofs had kept coming to me, no one had allowed me to talk to him or to send him a letter, I didn’t know how he was doing, I had kept being attacked for defending him… And I had lost faith. This had been my biggest mistake. From this day, I had disappeared in the wild, not even replying to Remus’ letters as I thought he could be the traitor. 

Twelve years later, my life had changed completely once more when Sirius had escaped Azkaban. The reunion had been weird and difficult, but I trusted him with everything I had and I wanted to make up for all these years when I didn’t know what to think. 

That brings us back to Square Grimmauld, this place I knew Sirius hated with every fiber of his body. This place which had become his prison because Dumbledore had said so. 

“Sirius, love, are you okay?” I asked quietly when I saw Sirius gripping the back of a chair so tight that his knuckles were white. 

“Of course, don’t worry Y/N.”

He smiled and opened his arms. It was an invitation, officially because he wanted to reassure me, unofficially because he needed to remind himself that he wasn’t alone anymore. I threw my arms around his neck, tightening his body against mine as much as I could. The feeling still was a bit strange: his skin was closer to his bones than it used to be, his arms were thinner, and every time our bodies were in contact, horrible images of him tortured by dementors invaded my mind. These moments, it was hard to tell who was the most broken between us. 

“Do you want to see Buckbeak?” Sirius asked abruptly. 

He had stepped back and was looking at me with what painfully looked like a forced smile. 

“Yes, why not? I bet this poor Buck is bored to death up there.”

It was hard to always be pushed away by the love of your life after twelve years apart, but I didn’t want to rush him. I didn’t know what was happening in his head, and even though my only priority was to help him, forcing him to talk to me wasn’t the solution. 

After a little stop in the kitchen, where Sirius grabbed enough meat to feed a regiment, we headed to the room where Buckbeak was hidden. The hippogriff seemed more than happy to see us, and he didn’t even wait for us to salute him. With a noise that sounded like a shout of joy, he started to eat under our amused gazes. 

“The poor boy seemed to be starving.” Sirius commented casually. 

I nodded in agreement and stepped forward to brush a spider off Buck’s back. Far from noticing me, he extended his wings and moved them vividly, hitting me in the progress, before lying on the floor and squealed in a way that indicated clearly he wanted to be alone for his nap. 

I followed Sirius outside and as he closed the door, he asked me quietly:

“Are you okay?”

“Of course, don’t worry.” I replied with a smile. 

Sirius chuckled before gesturing his head toward the stairs. We joined the kitchen, and I sat on the work surface, grabbing his hand when he passed in front of me. Little gestures like that were normal before Azkaban, everyone used to tease us because we seemed to be glued one to each other. That’s probably why seeing him tensing for something as innocent as me holding his hand was so painful, a bitter reminder of what had been and could never be again. I let go of his hand and his fingers brushed against mine for a second before leaving them colder than ever. 

“It’s not easy, is it?” Sirius spoke up. He was giving me his back, but I could have sworn he had this sad smile I hated to see on his face. The one he always put up when he wanted to be brave but just didn't have the strength. “I thought it would be easier. I thought I would just kiss you, tell you how much I love you and things would get back to normal.” 

“What keeps them from being normal again?” 

“A lot of things.” he whispered before heading out of the kitchen.

This time, I wouldn’t let him go without an explanation. I was tired of all of this. I jumped off the work surface and caught up with him, wrapping my arms around him and resting my forehead on his back. 

“Talk to me Sirius. Tell me what’s wrong. Please.”

Sirius, who had frozen, suddenly turned around and pushed me against the closest wall. His arms were surrounding me, his hands flat on the floor and his breathing warming my face up. His chest was regularly lifting, matching mine as my heart was beating faster than ever. 

“I just…”

Sirius’ voice was low, like a growl coming from the depths of his body. His hair falling in front of his face, his eyes were hidden from me yet I knew they were darker than usual. He had always failed to hide his emotions because of his eyes, so expressive against his own will. 

“I want to be close to you.” he whispered. “I want it so bad it’s scary. I feel like… Like I can’t breathe if I’m not near you.” 

I shivered before slowly removing a strand of hair. 

“I’m afraid of the effect you have on me. How can someone be so… so addictive?”

“Sirius, don’t think too much, love, it’s not your thing.” He laughed, and the sound reminded me of a yelp like every time he laughed heartily. “You’re here now, I’m here, so you don’t have to worry anymore. You can be as close to me as you want,” I added in a murmur, looking up at him with a smirk. 

Sirius’ POV

“Please babe, five more minutes…” I moaned as Y/N was getting up. 

“Love, you’ve begged for five more minutes for an hour now!” She exclaimed before chuckling softly when I grabbed her waist. 

“I don’t care, I don’t want to let you go.” 

Laughing at my childish pout, she laid back straight between my open arms and snuggled against me. Her hair tickled my bare skin, and so did her eyelashes when she looked up at me. Her Y/E/C eyes were shining in the morning light, and I found myself falling in love all over again. 

Everything from the bliss I was feeling to the dream-like light was just perfect. My wife was here with me, a thousand times more beautiful than the last day I had seen her before being sent to Azkaban, and her heart was still mine. She had waited for me, and now she was here. I should have been the happiest man on earth, shouldn’t I? Yet, it was still hard to believe that all of sudden, everything was back to normal. I couldn’t help but fear the moment all of this would be taken away from me, I dreaded the moment Y/N would simply vanish in front of me, the ghost of her hand making me wonder if she had even been here. 

I knew it was hard to understand. I needed nothing more than to be with her yet I was terrified and unable to stay by her side. But I just couldn’t let her leave my sight either; what if I couldn’t find her anymore? I had talked about this to Moony the last time I had seen him, and that was what had decided me to talk to her. 

“Just tell her,” he had shrugged. “You know you can trust her, and she will understand. You’ve been alone for twelve years Pads, of course it’s normal to need a reminder that she is here.” 

“Are you crazy?” I had replied. “I can’t tell her I’m so terrified that I spend half of my nights just watching her! What would she think?”

“Still the drama queen, aren’t you? Well, if you don’t want to talk to her - which I’m positive is the best solution but nevermind - then I don’t know how I can help you.”

Y/N moved against me, and her hand began to stroke the side of my arm. 

“You seem tense babe, are you okay?”

“Of course I’m okay, don’t worry and come here.”

I tightened her body against mine and closed my eyes. Skin against skin, our hearts beating in sync, this was what I wanted for the rest of my life. 

“I missed you so much…” I breathed in her hair. “I was used to your warmth and all of sudden, I was left alone in the cold…”

“It’s over, love.” She pushed me just enough for our eyes to meet, her gaze as teary as mine, both crying because I had suffered all these years for nothing. “I’m here, I’m with you, ready to warm you up whenever you want. You’re not alone anymore, Sirius.”